[Part 3]: How To Have Phun At Radio Shack
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                       Black Death Proudly Presents A

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                  Phreakers/Hackers/Anarchists Production

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                      "How to Have Phun at Radio Shack"

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Disclaimer: This file is for Entertainment Purposes only. Radio Shack is a fine
Americain Establishment and should be treated with Honor and Respect. Neither
the Author or his companions endorse violence, anarchy, or any related
subjects.

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        Allright, so you're wandering through your local mall, and you're
thinking, "Why the Hell am I here?" You're surrounded by Flat-Chested Pre-Teens
with high-squeking voices and you're really starting to get annoyed.
        But Wait, Up Ahead in the Distance, you see a Shimering Light... Could
be? By George, it is.
                              RADIO SHACK

        The Possibilities are endless. An Entire Store, Filled with Idiots who
haven't the slightest Idea what they're doing. Once I was shopping there for
some Capacitors, POTs, etc.. and I asked the guy if I could substitute one part
for another (I was attempting a Red Box), so the guy says, "Nobody here knows
what this Shit is. We had a guy here a few years ago who did, But I fired him.
Didn't like him.."

        This should give you a picture of the Mentality of the Basic Radio
Shack employee. Anyways on with the story. These stores have lots of
potentially phun products. Let's take a step-by-step look at some of the better
ones.

        First lets look around for those Nifty Remote Control Cars they usually
have sitting around. Found 'em? Great. Now if you're EXTREMELY lucky they'll
have batteries in them. Most, however, will not. So you're going to have to
supply the batteries yourself. Not Carrying them with you? Go buy em from Radio
Shack. OK Now that you have you batteries put them in the car of your choice.

        Place the Car in a choice posistion in which you think it will startle
them the most. (ie: on top of the boxes of other cars, &c).

        Now you have two choices, either do it yourself, or have someone else
do it for you. I highly suggest the latter. So what you do is, turn the car on,
hopefully, the engine doesn't make too much noise. Now you have to get someone
to use the damn thing. A couple methods I find effective are

A) Go up to the guy working at the counter and say, "Excuse me, but could you
explain the little joystick in the middle of this thing to me?" He'll think
you're pretty stupid, but hey, we're dealing with Radio Shack Employees here.
Most Likely, his Explanation will involve moving the joystick, sending th car
flying off the boxes.

B) (Kinda week, But some people are really, really dumb) Place the controller
by one of their computers. Put a sign (hand written or typed) saying "Try our
NEW Wireless Joystick" Next to it. Some kid will eventually come along, and
Boom.. There goes the car.

        But there are other things to do here too! Yes that's right! More!
Go to the back (or wherever they have all their Electronic parts) and switchj
around all the labels for the CAPs, POTs, Etc... This will take the average
worker quite a while to get back in order..

        Also, most Radio Shacks are kind Enough to provide us with ready to use
computers. How Sweet. Most of them will have a nice text editor with them.
You can do pretty much anything from here. If you want to be direct about it,
just delete their hard disc. But I think we can have more fun with them than
that. You can screw around with their config.sys a bit, add a bunch of weird
shit in there and see what happens. Have phun with it. Then there's the
autoexec.bat file. You can fuck around a bit in there, make it...

:echo off
:echo Fatal Error 1012
:prompt -Please Reboot-
:echo on

        That wil keep the average worker wondering for a while. Yeah, like I
ssaid, they aren't too smart.

        Now if you're Really Phortunate, you may find a Basic Compiler (Or
Pascal, C, etc..) Lying around their disc somewhere. If you're familiar with
the language you can type up a nice virus and put it in their autoexec file.
What the hell, Bring your own virus to radio shack and stick it in there.

        I'm sure you get the general idea. Do whatever you want, it's not as
if you're the one who's gonna have to pay for it. Just make sure you pick up
one of their catolouges (which brings up another interesting radio shack
quote...

Me: Do you Have a Catolouge?
Worker Guy: Yup, Sure do!
<Pause>
Me: Well, You think maybe you can give it to me?
Worker dude: Oh! OK yeah sure!

... Anyways pick up one so you can look up all the parts for your, uhh.. ,
science project! Yeah that's it! Gotta do a science project on, uhhh,
Telecommunications in the 1990s. That's the ticket.
Have Phun.
