                                  þáGâþ
                       þárotherhood of Gíds and âetardsþ
                        Improved Shoplifting Volume 1
                             "Department Stores"
                                      by
                                Dr. Bushwacker


Lifting from department stores, I think, is probably the easiest of all
shoplifting. The easiest way to lift something would be, say you are in
the music department and want a CD or something, most department stores
don't have them magnetic protection  stickers on em,  (even if they do,
they usually put them on the outside of the CD and you can just tear em
off).  Anyway,  what you do is grab 2 CD's off the shelf,  hold both of
them together so it looks  like  your looking at one.  Then walk to the
end of the shelf, (most stores have their cameras pointed at the center
of the shelf), and bend down and mess with your shoe like your tying it
while you slip one cd in your jacket under your arm. Then stand up like
you  just tied your shoe and  walk over  and  place  the CD back on the
shelf as if you did not want it. Then grab a candy bar or something and
pay for it. Now you just got a CD for the price of a Milky Way!

Another way to get smaller items is to grab it  off  the shelf start to
walk with it in one hand.  As  your  walking,  try  to  push it up your
sleeve, (hopefully your wearing  a  long  sleeve jacket with semi-tight
cuffs to keep the items from falling out).  Or if you don't,  and it is
small enough,  just,  while  walking normally,  slip it into your front
pants pocket. Done!

Then again, at department, well, most of them,  you can just walk right
out with the item. But that's a little too risky.


There are tons of other ways to do this,  these are just the easiest of
the ones I can think of at my un-sober state of mind.

