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                              How to Annoy             \
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                  \    By:         Shooting Shark!
                       Thanks To:  TSOR                \
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      There are three things you need on someone in order to really annoy
them.  They Are:

      1>  Real Name (or at least family name)
      2>  Address
      3>  Phone #

How to get this data:

As The Rocker said in an earlier file, the loze will often post his home
fone when he wants to trade wares.  If he doesn't, leave him E-Mail saying
you have the wares he wants, and to please leave you his #.  As a last
resort, if you know the SysOp reasonably well, ask him for the number of
the loze (all lozes use their real numbers when logging onto a system,
remember?)

Once you have the number, do a CNA on it.  This will get you the name of
the person who pays the phone bill at the house (Although the A in CNA
stands for Address, they don't do that any more).  So call the "Customer
Service" number of your local BOC and say, "This is <name from CNA> at
xxx-xxxx (lozes fone number).  I didn't get my last bill.  I think it might
have been sent to my partner's residence.  Could you tell me the address
you have?" <or something> - copy it down as she says it.  If you miss it,
just say "hold on, I think I recognize it.  Let me get a piece of paper..."
she'll wait, then read it to you again...voila... you've got all the data
you need.

(More customer service sabotage)

"Hello, this is <name> at <loze's number>.  I'd like to cancel service on
my line."  She'll ask you your address, which you have from the above step.

Card-free harrassment
=====================

Let's face it, some of us don't prefer to card things.  There are plenty of
ways to have stuff sent to the loze's house without having to crawl in a
trash can for a carbon first.

Columbia House will be glad to sign them up for membership.  He'll get 13
free albums for 1 cent.  Make sure and select stuff like "Niel Sedaka's
Greatest Hits", "Tommy Dorsey Live", etc.

When you get your Publisher's Clearinghouse or similar thing, sign up for
4 magazines and change the address to the loze's address.  Whenever you
see a pullout card to subscribe to a magazine, for crying out loud pull it
out and have them send him a subscription.  Next time you're at Safeway,
just go through all the "Knitting News" and LHJ magazines and pull out the
cards.  Don't send him Vogue, he'd probably get off on the pictures.  Just
send him as many mags as possible, and within 10 weeks he can open a
newsstand.

What's especially good, are those "Marines" cards.  Tell them he's 18 and
just graduating from high school, and they'll call him as well.

Call your local KKK branch (or get an address from a KKK BBS) and order
about 20 "KKK and proud" bumper stickers.  Put on loze's car (or his
parent's car).

Call when he's at school.  When his mom asks who's calling, say "Mr.
Krack-Man" or "Bioc Agent 003" or someone else famous.  Or say "PacTel
Security" and if she asks why, tell her: 'He's been making illegal phone
calls'... this is a little drastic and not my style, though.

More things to say to mommy (or daddy) - "He threw a rock at my cat and we
had to put the cat to sleep.."
"Ask him if he still wants that pot.."
"Suzy says that he got her in trouble.."

Of course, if his parents are understanding, he'll be able to convince
them that it was a joke...eventually...

Next time you're on The Source, send him 100 mailgrams.  They should each
say something like "you're such an asshole I can't believe it" and be
"from" someone they're friends with, like the SysOp of their favorite
board.  If they're not too intelligent, this might give them a nervous
breakdown, though.

Put Call Waiting on his data line.

Take touch-tone off his line.  He'll wonder why his calls aren't going
through.

If he's a "wanna-be" phreak and asks you about hacking programs, be nice
and write him one...one that, after hacking 30 or so numbers, starts
calling London Recorded Time (011-441-246-8255), 911 (which has ANI), then
COSMOS (which also has ANI)...this is called a Revenge Hacker and is not my
idea.  Again, it's a little drastic.  Heh.

Have a few pizzas delivered to his house.  While you're at it, also send
some "escorts", Roto-Rooter men, Fire Engines, Cops.  Preferably all on the
same night... (Note:  when sending police, just say something like "My
house got burglarized last night", not something like "I think there's a
robber in my bedroom".  They might come with their rifles and tear gas,
and remember, we just want to slightly annoy this person, not get him
killed.)

If the person you want to annoy is a SysOp:

Cancel his service (see above).
Put call waiting on his line (also see above).
Put his address on his own board.  That will `really' bother him...

Well, that's it.  Now Remember, I neither advocate nor practice the above
mentioned activities!!!

-----------------------------------
Copyright 1999                Shark

Ummm....leave me E-Mail on The Broadway...415-571-7056, or call The Wanderjahr
at 404-998-5676.

The Wanderjahr

