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[/\]									[/\]
[/\]		   HAVING PHUN MAKING CRANK FONE CALLS			[/\]
[/\]				   by					[/\]
[/\]			    Paul the Pirate				[/\]
[/\]	 Call: The Middle Earth AE Line [609][795][7238] PW-RING	[/\]
[/\]									[/\]
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  There are basically two types of crank fone calls, the ones where you know
who you are cranking and hate them, or random cranking.  The former is
generally more phun, but if they know your voice, watch out!  Here are some dos
and don'ts of cranking.

Type #1--People you know and hate

  If the person can recognize your voice, there is a very easy solution.  Just
get a friend over and have him call up.  If you don't know the person's number,
just call 411 (NEVER look up things in the fone book!  It takes too much time!)
and ask for their fone.  Of course, if they use a handle (which they most
likely do) you won't know their real name.  This can be easily found, however,
if you are friends with a sysop.  Since sysops generally have the people's fone
numbers on file, just ask him for the number.  If the sysop is against
cranking, just say you want to work out a trade or something.  Of course, if it
is the sysop you want to crank, you must get on his good side and say, "What's
your fone...I need it if I can't get through and have to talk to you." He'll
most likely tell you his personal fone number.	Ok, now that you have the fone,
let's get cranking!

  One thing that really annoys people is the old call 'em and hang up method.
This, however, is not very phun, and I don't advise you doing it.  It is much
more enjoyable if you actually talk to a person.  You can always say things
like, "Is your refridgerator running?  Why don't you try and catch it?" but
that isn't very original, and thus not very phun.  Same goes with, "Is there a
John in your house?" etc.

  If you are cranking a real idiot, just say, "This is the FBI.  We have traced
a number of illegal phone (FBI officers don't say fone) calls to this number."
assuming, of course, that they phreak.	They will phreak out when they hear
this, and, if they're smart, they will hang up.  Just call back, and say, "Why
did you hang up on the FBI?" He'll make up some bullshit story like, "Um...I
dropped the phone on the reciever...wh-wh-what do you want?" Now he is ready to
shit in his pants, so say, "We have a number of agents coming over your house
right this instant.  Give yourself up and there won't be any trouble."
"O-O-Ok." Of course, there are going to be those smart enuf to say, "FBI!  Ha!
Don't give me that bullshit!" Well, you can say something like, "What was that?
A profanity?  To the FBI?  You have the right to remain silent..." but it most
likely won't work.  Just keep calling back, and whatever you do, DON'T LAUGH!
This will phuk everything up so don't do it!  If they don't phreak or pirate,
or do anything illegal, then come up with something else.

  You could always pull the old, "Is Leroy Brown there?" five times and then
call l8r and say, "This is Leroy Brown, have there been any calls for me?" but
I don't like that kind.  It's sometimes phun to threaten people and stuff, like
"You're going to fuckin die if you don't stop calling [BBS]!" Pretending to be
someone else is often phun, like, "Hi, this is The Apple Bandit!  Do you want
to trade some games?" and some assholes will fall for it!  Do this to a friend
(of course having another friend call while you listen on an extention) and
when you talk to him l8r, he'll go, "Wow!  Apple Bandit wants to trade with
ME!" You'll be rolling on the floor laffing!

  Obscene fone calls are not all that great, i.e., the "heavy-breathers" (which
are really stupid, in my opinion).  Pretending you are bra company that is
giving out phree samples and asking for their bra size isn't too great either.
Having your girlfriend or sister call up some idiot and say they are a certain
female sysop [Cloud Nine II (609)(234)(3347)] sounds like phun.  Especially if
they have never heard her voice or seen her (they won't get too excited if they
have).

  You can also always call and send out a carrier, but this is generally not
phun...unless you keep doing it and they get smart and set their term program
for "answer." Then you can curse them out with the computer!  Phun, phun PHUN!
There's a lot more you can do with people you don't know, and we'll cover that
in the next section...


Type #2--Random cranking

  Just pick some numbers at random, like [prefix]-1234 or [p]-3825 (which just
happens to spell "FUCK") and dial them!  There are lots of things you can do
with people you don't know.  One of my favorites is pretending to be a radio
station.  Here is a sample conversation that my friend had.  This REALLY
happened!

  "Hello this is [radio station]!  Can you tell me what the Jackson's first
album was?"

  "Ummmm...I don't know...hold on a sec!  [in the background] Mom!  Dad!  Wake
up!  Do you know what the Jackson's first album was?" (keep in mind this was
late at night)

  "[still in bg] No!  Go wake up Mike!  He'll know!  [she then proceeds to wake
up everyone in the house, and none of them know the answer]"

  "Sorry, your time is up, you just lost 5 front row seats at the Jackson
concert!"

  "Well, could you tell me what the answer was?"

  "How the fuck should I know?  [click]"

  If they happen to get it right, be sure to get thier name and address, and
say, "Your tickets are in the mail!" or something like that.  Try not to give
away that it is a crank, cause if you don't, they'll be waiting by their
mailbox for days!

  Sometimes it's phun to just say, "This is a crank call!" and see what they're
reaction is.  Other times, don't say anything!  Some of them will say, "What
are you?  Chicken to talk?" and will probably curse you out after a little
while.	It's also phun to crank the operator, but be careful!  My friend called
from MY house at a party and said, "Is Huckleberry there?  This is Tom Sawyer."
and two seconds later the fone rang and it was the operator!  I'm like, "Umm...
that was my friend!" and she's like, "Yea, right.  Well, don't do it again!"
You should also watch out for tracers!	I know one dude who has one, so what
you have to do is hang up every 15 seconds or so and call back.  Or you can
always call from a pay fone.  You don't have to be too imaginative to come up
with ways to crank people.  The radio station is probably the most phun, but
saying someone won a random phone number lottery is also phun, but the radio
one is more likely to work.  One time I was cranking someone and I actually
started getting into a conversation!  It was realy weird!  I told him my name
was John, though.  But it is really strange!  Try calling someone and just say,
"Hi, how are you doing?" "Who is this?" "Joe [everyone knows someone named
Joe]" Then you actually start talking to them!  Believe me, it is a strange
experience for them!


Part #3--Being the victim of a crank

  First thing to remember is that if you are getting a lot of cranks, simply
take the fone off of the hook.	If someone calls and says, "Is there a John in
your house?" just say "Yes." This happened to me a few days ago and they simply
hung up.  If you pick it up and get a modem, boot up your term program and set
it for answer.	If someone claims to be the FBI, ask for their name and serial
number.  Try to get them to goof!  You could act scared and make them laugh so
they give themselves away, then curse them out!  Try to turn them cranking you
into you crankning them!  You have to also remember that radio stations don't
usually just pick numbers and call them!  Don't be stupid!  When you get a
crank, just play it C00L.  If they are getting on your nerves, say "This call
is being traced." Ten to one they will hang up.  If you know who it was
[someone read the first part of this] then just crank 'em right back!  Don't
let cranks get to you!

This file was written and uploaded by...Paul the Pirate

The Middle Earth AE Line [609][795][7238] PW: RING
Uploaded  by :	 <--- THE NECROMANCER --->



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