*******************************************************************************
******                                                                   ******
******     The FIXER is back with                                        ******
******                       PRANKS, REVENGE, and GENERAL MAYHEM vol. 13 ******
******                       (The Onslaught Continues)                   ******
******                                                                   ******
******     This time 'round:                                             ******
******     "NOOO0000!!!!!   ANYTHING BUT THAT!!! NOT.....                ******
******                                 "STILL MORE KRAZY GLUE TRICKS" !! ******
******                                                                   ******
****** Call the NEW Neutral Zone /// 10 meg AE/GBBS  6044781363          ******
******                       BC Tel Phone Mart GBBS  6046581586          ******
*******************************************************************************

*SIGH*  Well, I have been collecting new Krazy Glue Tricks for six months now
and it's high time I put them in a file..... So without further ado.......

Basically Krazy Glue Tricks involve making things incapable of operating by
freezing the inner workings.  So it should come as no surprise that these and
all other Krazy Glue tricks have an amazing similarity, like they are all
brothers and sisters (incestuous little buggers), but this only adds a new
dimension of evil to them.............

Buttons.

I have expounded in the past upon Krazy Gluing many things but buttons have
been largely ignored.  Here I will explain the expected results of pushing a
button and Krazy Gluing it in that position.

- Keys on a Pay Phone: New Phone Time!

- Elevator Buttons (try the top few floors): people will begin to wonder just
  why every trip the elevator makes an unscheduled stop at each of the top 10
  floors.

- Keypad on a Remote Control.  Do this one button per day.  The victim will
  be able to tune fewer and fewer stations every day and this is what is known
  as SLOW TORTURE, boys and girls.  And that's what this file is all about.

- This also works well on those phones with a row of buttons for its
  "quick calling" demon dialer.  Every day freeze a button from most frequently
  used to least.  If you do this in conjunction with the remote control or
  other such keypad devices, the torture grows exponentially.  And the damage
  is often irreparable (as Krazy Glue solvent doesn't ONLY dissolve Krazy Glue)

- I have often told of pouring Krazy Glue into the keys of a computer.  But
  why not just do the REPT key and see how much fun we have...if the victim is
  a real stiff he will have the keyboard ROM replaced before he figures out
  that the REPT contacts were glued down and the key and spring left working...

- Some intersections are controlled entirely by the WALK button. So it seems
  that if that button were pressed continually the light would turn red every
  thirty seconds instead of, well, never if it was left alone... During rush
  hour this can get good, but don't do it if you live in Southern California
  near a freeway...You're too young to die.....

- Got an enemy with a satellite dish?  You say his folks watch the bible
  bangers network?  PERFECT.  On Saturday Night go and move his satellite dish
  to point at a sat with a porno channel on it.  Before doing this try to get
  in his house somehow and Krazy Glue the tuner to the transponder channel of
  XXX Network or whatever.  Krazy Glue the dish in that position.  USE LOTS.
  That porno is the only thing they will get until they fork out mega-bucks to
  get it all fixed, and if they were expecting Jim and Tammy, they are in for
  a massive shock.  Shock and Torture.  Could there be two more beautiful
  words?

- Well, Son, it's January the 5th, high time we took the Christmas Lights down
  off the house.  Sure, Dad, if only they weren't Krazy Glued to the
  eavestroughs, and the switch, breaker,and outlet all Krazy Glued so we can't
  turn them off.  Well, maybe we can just unscrew the bulbs.  Yeah, but they're
  stuck in somehow............

- Ski Season!  Look at them skis on the roof rack of the car that just pulled
  into the parking lot!  Let's wait till they're gone inside and make sure
  those skis don't get stolen.....by Krazy Gluing 'em to the racks!  There'll
  be fun on the mountain when we come....Yo ho ho and a bottle of Rum.....
  (NOTE: this tactic is guaranteed to produce frustration no matter what is on
  the racks, but skis seem to work best as it's not usually until they've
  driven 400 miles to the mountain that they even notice that the ONE thing
  they need to go skiing is stuck permanently to the roof.......)

- People have been known to stick to their diets better when the fridge,
  freezer, stove, and all kitchen cupboards are Krazy Glued shut, and when they
  go out to the car to go hit Rotten Ronnie's, they find it Krazy Glued shut,
  and when they go back inside to order a large pizza "2fer special" they find
  the phone receiver stuck mysteriously to the base......

- They're moving!  At last you've driven your enemy out of town!  Well, don't
  let 'em go without a parting shot.  Before they pack up, Krazy Glue all their
  furniture to the floor......

WHAT?   THAT'S IT???   N0 WAY!!!!   0H WELL!!!!!!!!!

Blackened is the end...

Call Heart of Gold 6046581581
     Tardis 6046426286

IBM Pirates eh... the rest can fuck off and die!


