++<===========================>++
||    Psychotic Presents:      ||
||   The   T    S    D    S    ||
||         a    t    e    y    ||
||         c    a    l    s    ||
||         t    r    i    t    ||
||         i    c    v    e    ||
||         c    h    e    m    ||
||         a         r         ||
||         l         y         ||
||    By KwAnTAM_PoZeEtroN     ||
++<===========================>++

The Tactical Starch Delivery System, or TSDS, is sometimes referred 
to as a potato gun, spud cannon, spudzooka, or potato shooter.  The 
particular one described here shoots potatoes, apples, or pears with 
incredible accuracy, velocity, and distance.  In fact, in one test, a 
horse shot with this gun was killed on impact using a standard-issue 
Idaho potato.

Parts List
==========

To make the TSDS, the following is needed:

1)  5' of 2" PVC pipe
2)  8" of 4" PVC pipe
3)  One 4" to 2" PVC adaptor bell
4)  One 4" Cleanout Plug Adaptor which fits over the end
    of the piece of 4" PVC
5)  One 4" Cleanout Plug (this plug is the kind with the 
    square lug for a wrench and threads around the outside
    of the plug--ask your local hardware store worker if you
    can't identify it)
6)  One Replacement Gas Grill Ignitor
7)  One Large Paper Clip
8)  Needle-nose Pliers
9)  PVC Cement (MUST be PVC-specific cement)
10) Roll of Electrical (black) tape
11) Roll of Duct (gray) tape
12) At least as many brain cells as a plastic cup
13) Sandpaper
14) Knife
15) A broom handle to use as a ramrod to push the potato down into
    the barrel
16) One can of extra-hold aerosol hair spray OR one can of aerosol
    ether-based engine starting fluid (starting fluid is preferable)
17) An electric drill

Assembly
========

Cement the bell adaptor to the piece of 2" PVC, then to the piece of 
4" PVC.  Next, cement the cleanout plug adaptor to the other end of 
the 4" PVC.  

Take the paper clip and attach it to the terminal on the side of the 
ignitor (not the end) and bend it so it's about 1/2" from the 
terminal on the end of the ignitor.  Push the ignitor and you should 
get a spark that jumps between the two.  If you get shocked (don't 
worry, it doesn't hurt) you're touching one of the terminals.  Move 
your finger and try again.  If you don't get shocked and you don't 
see a spark, bend the paper clip closer to the terminal on the end and 
try again until you see a spark jump between the terminals every time.  
Now take some electrical tape and tape the paper clip to the side 
terminal so that it doesn't move, but make sure you don't cover the 
area that the spark jumps to.

There should be two 'arms', one on either side of the ignitor.  Cut 
these off with the knife so that there's no pieces sticking out.  Now 
drill a hole in the middle of the piece of 4" PVC that the ignitor 
will fit into completely, but snugly.  If the hole's too big, you 
need to wrap electrical tape around the uppermost part of the ignitor 
below the plunger collar(the terminal on the end is the bottom, wrap tape 
around the other end below the collar so that it makes it fit more snugly 
into the hole) so that there's a fair seal.  It doesn't have to be air-tight, 
but if it releases too much gas you could experience a loss in power, the 
ignitor could be thrown from the gun, or hot gases may shoot out of 
the hole where the ignitor is or was.  Again, check that the spark is arcing 
inside the piece of 4" PVC.

Finally, take sand paper and sharpen the muzzle end of the 2" PVC, 
which is to be your barrel.  It doesn't have to be razor sharp, but 
the sharper it is, the easier it will be to push the potato down and 
have the parts that don't fit cut off to ensure a perfect seal.  Sand 
from the inside of the pipe so that it cuts a piece a tiny bit bigger 
than the inside diameter so the seal is better between the potato and 
the barrel.

Firing
======

To fire, perform the following steps:

1)  Get a potato that is bigger than the barrel and push it down onto 
the end of the barrel so that it cuts the excess away (you sharpened 
it, remember?).

2)  Making sure that the end cap is off, use the ramrod to push the 
potato all the way down to the end of the barrel, but not down into 
the combustion chamber (the 4" PVC section).

3)  Spray some propellant into the combustion chamber and put the cap 
on.  If you're using extra-hold hair spray, give it a generous, 
3-second squirt.  If you're using ether, a 1/4 second squirt is 
enough.  If you put more, the mixture is too rich, and there's not 
enough oxygen to ignite the ether, so nothing happens.  Ether is 
definitely harder to get the right amount of, but if you can find the 
right amount it's much better because it burns very clean and doesn't 
fowl up the inside of the combustion chamber.  The hair spray leaves 
a black, sticky coating on the inside of the chamber, which really 
sucks, but it's much easier to get the right amount in there, because 
there's much more tolerance in the range of the amount of hair spray 
that will ignite.  Ether needs a specific amount, no more, no less, 
but hairspray can have as little as 2 seconds or as much as 5 and 
still work reasonably well.

4)  Once you've sprayed in the propellant, quickly put on the cap to 
prevent the propellant from escaping from the combustion chamber.  It 
doesn't have to be tight, just give it a spin and it's probably tight 
enough.  If it doesn't fall off, it's plenty tight.

5)  Hit the plunger on the ignitor to fire the cannon.  

Safety Info
===========

Remember, this will break 1/2" ply wood at 15' in the right 
combination of propellant and air.  It will also kill a horse.  
Needless to say, it will leave a nasty dent in a car, probably crack 
the window (especially with apples), and would kill a person within 
50' if hit in the neck or upper torso.  BE CAREFUL with this thing.  
Don't put your hand in front of the muzzle; I've known people who've 
lost fingers and/or hands doing that.  Don't look down the barrel 
when you're pushing the plunger unless it's sat open with no 
propellant sprayed in for at least 5 minutes.  I learned this the 
hard way, as I lost a small bit of hair and most of one eyebrow the 
first time I made one of these; I looked in the combustion chamber 
with ether in there and hit the ignitor.  FOOM!  and little pieces of 
hair floated this way and that... kinda annoying.

Disclaimer
==========

Neither I nor Psychotic are responsible if you fuck up, kill someone, 
break a window, damage a car, or hurt yourself.  Whatever you do from 
here on in is your own business.  We assume no liability whatsoever 
for the use of this information.

Legal Note
==========

Many people have asked me "Is it legal to make a potato gun?"  The 
answer:  YES!  It is not considered to be a firearm as long as you're 
just shooting potatoes, apples, or pears with it.  However, if you 
make one that shoots marbles, golf balls, or baseballs I'm not sure 
whether it's legal or not.  A tennis ball one probably wouldn't be a 
good idea either.  Of course, combine the tennis shooter with an 
exploding tennis ball bomb (see the Anarchist's Cookbook file #23 for 
how to make these simple and fun bombs) and you've got a mobile 
mortar... definitely NOT legal.

Diagram
=======
          
                          /==-----------|   _
---------------\ \------=/             ||  | |_
|               \ \                    ||  |  _|
-----------------\ \----=\             ||  |_|
                          \==-----|_|---|

^               ^        ^     ^   ^    ^   ^
|               |        |     |   |    |   +- Cleanout Plug (screws into adaptor)
|               |        |     |   |    +----- 4" PVC Cleanout Plug Adaptor
|               |        |     |   +---------- Ignitor (paper clip & terminals are inside)
|               |        |     +-------------- 8" of 4" PVC
|               |        +-------------------- 2" to 4" PVC Bell
|               +----------------------------- 5' of 2" PVC          
+--------------------------------------------- Sharpened muzzle end of barrel
 
KwAnTAM_PoZeEtroN
kwantam@mailhost.net
http://kwantam.home.ml.org