
                            Mindless Mayhem.......
                    Dubbed by request from the author....
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                        Revision Date: 07-02-91
                                  -=-
                           Big Wheels o' Fun!
                               By Mr. Beeg
                                05/17/91
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In this day and age, I am overwhelmed by TONS of text files that let you
make blow up this, short-out that, etc.

As far as I can tell, most of these files are full of shit.  The ones that
are feesable require that you have an engineering degree or an unlimited
budget and great connections for chemicals.  I am tired of reading this crap,
so I am releasing USABLE information for pissing people off and destroying
property.

SIDE NOTE - I am a chemist by trade.  When you come across a text file
involving chemicals, take it with a grain of salt.  Many of the formulas
are inaccurate, and most are simply wrong.  Too many of the chemicals are
not quite as easy to get as you may think.  Many of the household substitutes
simply aren't correct.  Use care, and don't be too optimistic!

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OK!  Now on to the fun...
 
Sure we all know that little kids are stupid as fuck.  We were all once
stupid as fuck ourselves, right?  Well, for some reason, parents of little
kids can be equally stupid.  Here's a way to take advantage of all that
stupidity and have a BLAST doing it...

Before kids are old enough to have bikes, they usually have tricyles or
(even better) Big Wheels.  Remember the Big Wheel?  It is that all-plastic
3-wheel low-rider with the big front wheel.

Getting to the point, kids ALWAYS leave these things out at night.  Parents
are dumb enough to let them.  So, all you have to do is walk (or drive) 
through a residential area and look for a Big Wheel.  Snag it, then it's
time for fun.

You'll need a junky long-sleeve shirt, junky sweatpants or jeans, newspaper,
heavy fishing line (50 lb. test is nice, but 20# or 30# is fine), a heavy
glove, and packing tape (preferably clear).

Stuff the pants and shirt with newspaper.  Tape the shirt to the waist of the
pants.  Wad up a ball of newspaper about the size of your head, and wrap it in
tape.  Tape this onto the neck of the shirt.  Yes, you now have a dummy.
For a better effect, place a baseball hat on it.  Make sure the stuffing
doesn't look TOO half-assed.  It isn't too hard to make a very human-looking
figure.

Now grab the dummy and Big Wheel.  Tape the 'feet' to the pedals, and the
'hands' to the handlebars.  Getting the idea yet?

Now take the fishing line and tie one end to the Big Wheel, preferably under
the handlebars.  Now comes the good part.

Go back to the residential area (at night is best) and find a car parked
out in the street.  Place the Big Wheel/Dummy combo in front of the car,
pointing out into the middle of the street.  Make sure any traffic can't
see it.  Run the fishing line across the street and hide.  Now, PUT THE
GLOVE ON.  If you don't, you will hurt your fingers.  Trust me.

Wait patiently for a car to come from the 'blind side'.  When the moving
car is almost up to the back of the parked car, pull hard!  The moving car 
will slam the fuck out of it!  The driver may have a heart attack.  When
he/she realizes what really happened, he/she will spazz like crazy!
This is a fucking blast!


                        (Big Wheel)  (parked car)
   -------------------------------л----------------------------------------
                                  |  ллллл             (moving car)
                                  |                   <---- ллллл
   ==  ==  ==  ==  ==  ==  ==  == |==  ==  ==  ==  ==  ==  ==  ==  ==  ==
                                  | 
                                  |
   -------------------------------|----------------------------------------
                                  |
                                  |
                                   (you)


Of course, this works on busier, faster streets too.  Just be careful
because you don't really want to KILL the driver, right?

Another variation is to blow off the fishing line, and glue the handlebars
into the 'straight ahead' position.  Go to the top of a hill and push it
down into oncoming traffic.  You could light it on fire, but a car can
see this a mile away and probably won't hit it.

Speaking of hills, have I mentioned how much fun rolling old tires or
stolen bowling balls into traffic is?

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OK!  That's about it...  Have fun and don't get caught!    

Destiny Knights BBS
7o8љ3o7љ3768
The NUP is FOURTH DIMENSION
Make sure (if ya call) to give the names of other boards yer on!


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