 

<=========\\             />       />                              //========>
           \\======---- / >lade  / \unners Productions ----======//
                                 PRESENTS

                           How to have PHUNN with
        Bottle Rockets and Bees, Hornets, and large stinging insects.
                 (With little danger to your personal self)

                                 <=-OR-=>

                        How to kill bees and wasps.

                                Written by:
                           Joe Shmoe the Eskimo  / Two PHUNN
                            and Tour De France   \ guys!

                           Spelling errors by:
                             Tour De France


*****************************************************************************
*  The people mentioned, or listed above are in no way responsible for      *
*  anything that may happen to anyone who may try the things mentioned      *
*  below. As far as the people mentioned here are concerned, this is for    *
*  INFORMATION ONLY. This was not meant as a suggestion in any way.         *
*****************************************************************************

We will allow use on other boards, but DO NOT EDIT. All credits, and wording must be kept the same.

<===========================================================================>


Have you ever been stung by a ** NASTY ** bee or hornet?

Did the bee hive by the tree-fort ever ruin a perfect chance to drop firecrackers on that bratty litieghbor?

Did you ever want a PHUN and EXCITING way to dispose of those left-over bottle rockets?

If you answed "YES" to any of those questions, then read on!

        We will show you many ways of keeping that Bee from EVER having children, or maybe that wasp there from flying about, and annoying you soooo much. If this sounds like a PHUNN way to kill a fenon, (or any extra bees you may have lyin
g aro
und) then TRY IT!! It can be phun!

 [TO BEGIN] You will need the following materials:
                #1) A couple (47) bottle rockets
                #2) A few (hundred) matches
                #3) A few (thousand) annoying bees and wasps
                #4) A stupid friend
                #5) Our HANDY-DANDY Acme hand-held rocket launcher (directions                     wollow), or a Coke(C) bottle, and heavy glove
                #6) ** A FIRE EXTINGUISHER ** <== VERY IMPORTANT

 [HAND-HELD LAUNCHER] Here are our plans for the launcher. Very simple. VERY SIMPLE. Sooooo easy, anot can make this. When your done, you'll have proven my point! Now, on to the hard stuff. (NO! PTTA ACK IN YOUR PANTS!!)
       Find yourself a tube about the diameter of a pencil. Now, take the bottom off of a medium Pla (C) peanut can (The metal part. This can be removed with your average can opener.) Now, drill, rpnh out a hole about the same diameter of t
he tu
be. Try to make it a WEE bit smaller than the tube. Then, you can make it a tight fit. If you weren'e to make it fit very tight, use a very strong adhesive (such as Goop (C), availible at almost ay"wltee" hardware store.) Now, tape the edge
s of
the can top (so your little sister doesn't go SCREECHING to Mom, "Waaaah! Waaaaah, big brother made t my hand when I was looking through his drawers, even though he's not home.") Also... For the fnsigtouch, bend the end over, or smash it go
od, s
o the expelled propellant doesn't fry your chest, or other VITAL body parts.

                           #1:Exploding Wasps


[1] I know from past experiences that one of these pain causing varment's favorite hide outs are theoor lamps we all have by our patio or back door. To stick your hand up in the lamp and spray the ihRid (C) is not a smart thing to do and is
 not
very effective. If you do not completely obliterate the entire population or wasps they will seek an revenge on you and your family every chance they get. They will destroy your outdoor life, therfr eping you inside at all times, with this
they
will have succeded at depriving you of 2 very important factors.
       1.your education
       2.phun
This will make you a social eggshell family. So now you can appreciate this file and my point of vie     In order for this one to work you will need the things listed previously. If you want you can aing (and stupid) and use your hand launcher. Some people think they can get away with this one sthy ill tell you after they are sorely mis
taken
. I strongly suggest using a bottle.
This is the SIMPLE,SIMPLE plan for seeing exploding wasps and also smelling them if you wish.
       1.Find your dumb friend mentioned early in the selection,and have him/her line it up carefullnot to miss. This part must be done with extreme caution for if they misalign you may not get ante hnce.

       2. Light the rocket and run,run,run. The rocket should ram right into the nest, and if you diright, get lodged in there, then see the pretty exploding wasps. If you messed it up, see your dm xfiend curse and try to out-run the non-ex
plode
d bees.

       We hope that this will help you in your quest for ultimate bee/wasp destruction.

[NOTE] We did this trick, but with a few variations. For luanching, we used a bottle, and held it inhand with a glove. We got near the lamp, and while I (Joe) held the bottle, armed with a rocket,T eF lit the rocket. With the lengnth of the
 wick
, I had enough time to move the rocket under the lamp.(While still holding it) We have found that th the best, and most accurate way to luanch the rocket. As soon as the rocket lifted off from thebtl,we RAN. This is a very advisible thing t
o do.
 We suggest the same. We got about ten feet away, and turned around. Just before the rocket went of,t 30 wasps came flying out. Then, it exploded, and about 25 wasps (Dead) fell from the lamp, alogwt ieces of the nest. After you have destro
yed t
he nest, you can do "Flaming Wasps," our next entry. If you wait about 5-10 minutes, you will see a asps sitting on the wall. Now is the time to,  "See wasp burn. Burn wasp, burn."


                           #2:Flaming Wasps


[1] Here is another way of disposing of those ** NASTY ** wasps in the outdoor lamp. If you observe  fellows for a while, around noon, there is alot of activity around the nest. Notice the BUSY, BS,wss. These are very industrius little inse
cts.
Doesn't it make you proud of your expertise in making thier life a living hell? Now, as I mentioned, will be going in, and out, in, and out, in, and out..... You get the idea now, don't you? Well,te il frequently land on the wall. Now, you
can u
se one, of two things to keep them from getting a cold. Oil for one, though it's not too flammable, as, which of course speaks for itself. Now, take your chosen liquid, and follow the directions frteapropriate one.

[2] For Oil... This can be very phunny, and is also an easy way to find out which wasp is the strongf all. You take a squirt can, and fill it with your chosen oil. Now wait patiantly for the wasp oln n the wall. Quicly, run up there, and sp
ray y
our oil on the wasp. He will then proceed to crawl around the wall in circles, and then will JUMP of wall and try to fly. This can be VERY ammusing, for the wasp will proceed to drop about a foot,freey half-foot forward. As the wasp reaches
 his
final destination, you can utilate the option for Gas.

[3] For Gas... This is VERY phunny, and also will help you learn the average lifetime of a flaming wNow, lets say you did the oil trick. There he is, the object of you greatest hatred, the wasp. Yuhv im at your mercy. You, as a human being,
 are
obligated to KILL HIM!!! O.k., you have your squirt can full of Ammoco Premium Unleaded(C) gasoline.ou used the oil trick (The safest way to go), the wasp will be lying on the ground, crawling aron,adflapping his wings. Just for safteys sak
e, gi
ve him another squirt of oil. Now, take your gas, and spray the wasp with it. Now, take your matches "See wasp burn. Burn wasp, burn." If your lucky, or didn't use oil, the wasp may do an imitatio faB19 bomber that has been hit, and is goin
g dow
n in a flaming glory.

[ANOTHER WAY] A veriation to this trick is to find a nest thats not very high, and that  you can easccess. Get the gas can, and (with extingisher on hand)
proceed to spray gas on the nest. This trick is easyist with a phriend. Now, your phriend will throwt match on the nest. The nest will instantly flame up, killing almost all the wasps. We did thist  et in the back af a chair with vinal padd
ing.
They had found a hole, and made a huge nest in there. We sprayed it, and lit it, and killed over fouasps. There was a huge pile of dead wasps there, and then we put firecrackers in there. **** WARIG O'T TRY THIS WITHOUT A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
 THE
FIRE WILL BE VERY HARD TO PUT OUT, WITH ALL THE WASPS FLYING AROUND!!! ****


                           #3:Wasp-in-a-box


[1] This one is phunn if you enjoy the thought of 30-50 wasps dieing in agony. This PHUNN thing to duires the following:
       1.A small bird house.
       2.A few objects mentioned below, depending on what you feel would be the most painfull thing o.

       Now, on to the  phunn stuff.

[2] Take your bird house, and make sure there is only one opening, (The front hole/door.) If there ade vents, or cracks, tape them up. When your done with that, find a large cork that will fit in h rn door. This should completely plug the h
ole.
Now, when you're done with all that, go on to step 3.

[3] Go find a place FILLED with wasps, like an old trailer. Your chosen place shouldn't be high. Plaur bird house very close to this place, and then stand back, and throw things at the nest, so th ap ill find your box. Most uv the time, thi
s doe
sn't work, but if it doesn't work, just leave it alone for a couple of days. Within a week, there shbe a wasp nest in the
house. If so, get ready for this, and do it as fast as possible. Light a smoke bomb, cherry bomb, or, and have your cork in hand. Now run up to the house, insert your torture device, put the cork n n un. This is more satisfying with an expl
osive
, cuz it usually blows up the house, and kills every wasp in there. If you wan't to see wasp guts, ts the way to go.


                           #4.Exploding Bees


[1] Ya MAN! This is ALWAZE phunn, and a great way to learn about nature. For instance: Lets say you  to see thhe inside of a bee hive. Well, only a COMPLETE idiot would throw things at the nest, tyn obreak it open. The way we outline, you c
an al
so kill a few bees, and see the inside without totaly mutalating it. Now, Follow these steps  for thest, and mostest, phunnest, way to make 'Exploding Bees'

[2] Go out and find a NICE LARGE bee hive. A very common place to find this is in a tree. I have neven them anyplace else, but I suppose it's possible. O.k., now that you have a beehive in your sihs e out hand held launcher, or a bottle wit
h a g
love. Now, get some bottle rockets and matches... You're ready for step three.

[3] Load your launcher, and have matches or lighter ready. Aim the rocket at the bee hive. You shoulabout ten feet away. Light it, and after it has launched, RUN. Don't run too far, because the beswntchase you. If you're luckey, and everyth
ing w
ent as planned, the rocket got stuck in the bee hive, and the explosive went off, blowing a hole in ive. Now you can see what the inside of a bee hive looks like. Also, you may find a few dead bee ttebase of the nest. Now WASN'T THAT FUN!




  Thank you for reading this article.

  Finished at 2:43 pm 08/10/87

  Coming soon:

                    /\              /\
                   /_/             /  >
                  /  \            /__/
                 /___/LADE       /   \UNNERS

                       />   />   /
                      / >  / >   >

                      ** 20 Megs **


Also...
 Look for more  />      />
               / >lade / \unners  PRODUCTIONS filez.

                                              Latur,
                                              J. S. E.
                                              T. De F.





            ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////
            //               The PIRATES' HOLLOW                 //
            //                  415-236-2371                     //
            //         over 12 Megs of Elite Text Files          //
            //                  ROR-ALUCARD                      //
            //             Sysop: Doctor Murdock                 //
            // C0-Sysops: That One, Sir Death, Sid Gnarly & Finn //
            //                                                   //
            //    "The Gates of Hell are open night and day;     //
            //     Smooth is the Descent, and Easy is the way.." //
            ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////



 

X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
 Another file downloaded from:                     The NIRVANAnet(tm) Seven

 & the Temple of the Screaming Electron   Taipan Enigma        510/935-5845
 Burn This Flag                           Zardoz               408/363-9766
 realitycheck                             Poindexter Fortran   510/527-1662
 Lies Unlimited                           Mick Freen           801/278-2699
 The New Dork Sublime                     Biffnix              415/864-DORK
 The Shrine                               Rif Raf              206/794-6674
 Planet Mirth                             Simon Jester         510/786-6560

                          "Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
