
   How to Really Piss Off a Wallgreens, Or A Dominick's


        Have you ever been in a drug store, such as Walgreens, and found that
you were out of money and really hungry? Or maybe you were just in the mood for
some fun. I've always been a muschief fanatic myself, and thought I'd share
with you some experiences I've had at Wallgreens and Dominick's.
        How many of you have been arrested for shoplifting? Well, I've never
had this unfortunate experience happen, but I have friends who have, and
Wallgreen's is notorious for keeping an eagle-eye out for thieves. Well, we
decided that if they were gonna be serious so were we.
        One day we decided to cause a little ruckus. A nice Saturday night, a
buddy of mine and I went to Wallgreens and started looking around. I, keeping a
low profile, hadn't a reputation and wasnt known by the manager. My friend,
however, had a record a mile long (it's even longEr now) and was instantly put
under surveillance as soon as we entered. We strutted over to the candy
section, and marveled at all the nice things to eat. Shawn, (my buddy- last
name anony) who was always prepared, wore his jacket that we had prepared for
this special occasion. It had a huge hole in the bottom of the pocket, and was
used to sike the manager out of his skull!
       Shawn made sure he was being watched before he proceeded. He went to the
gum rack, took a pack of gum, and cooly slipped it into his pocket- a little
too cooly- but with all intentions- for our friend the manager raised an
eyebrow. When we proceeded out the store, the manager ran out the electronic
opening door (I'll get to that later) and grabbed Shawn by the arm.
       "Ha you little shit! I got you now!" The dick proclaimed, feeling like
he was on Miami Vice or something.
       "What are you talking about?" Shawn nonchelantly asked.
       The dick proceeded to search Shawn's pockets for the gum. When he turned
up with nothing, he searched us both. We, of course, were laughing our heads
off. When Shawn slipped the gum into his pocket, it fell through his pocket and
into another tray of candy. Shawn had his back turned from the manager (adding
to the suspicion) so he couldnt have seen it fall. The Manager threatened us
with all kinds of nasty things, but we just flipped him off and walked away,
and went home and rolled with laughter for the rest of the night.

PART II- The electronic door:         I said I would get back to this, so here
it is.
         When the manager ran out the door, we could have made things even
harder for the old guy. If youve ever looked at the box over an electric door,
it sometimes has a switch. Flip this, and sit back, and watch the fun!
         I've seen these switches at the Dominick's/Walgreens connected stores.
What the switch does is turn off the automatic opener. The hilarious part is:
What happens when some fat lady with six kids and a cart full of groceries (at
least two kids are in the cart) comes bustling out the door? Answer- She smacks
right into the door, expecting it to open for her, and the cart burys itself
into her rolls of stomach, and the kids fall over and crush the fat lady's 3.99
box of grade A eggs. This can be enjoyed anytime, but usually works best at
night when people are in a rush to get home so they can watch their programs on
T.V.
          I hope you try these easy but pleasing techniques of relly pissing
someone off- Its always been a favorie thing of mine to do- I hope it will soon
be one of yours. Thank you for your attention.
                                     -Dr. Nitemare-

