				   CALL:

		     THE RAINBOW'S END (203) 453-1089
		     THE EXCELSIOR     (203) 934-5998

			/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
			\\///\/\\ HOW TO //\/\\\//
			//\ HIJACK A SCHOOL BUS \\
			\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

			DONATED BY: THE LEPRECHAUN

  BEFORE I START, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO CLARIFY A FEW POINTS.  FIRST, THIS
SCHEME HAS ONLY BEEN TRIED ON THE BLUE JAY SERIES OF YELLOW BUSSES...I CANNOT
GUARANTEE THAT IT WILL WORK ON OTHER TYPES OF SCHOOL BUSES.  THE SECOND POINT
IS THAT THIS SYSTEM RELIES ON THE FACT THAT OPENING THE EMERGENCY DOOR OF A
SCHOOL BUS WILL SET OF AN ALARM.  IN ORDER TO THWART THIS SCHEME, MANY BUS
DRIVERS HAVE DISABLED THIS.  BE SURE THAT THEY HAVE NOT DONE SO BEFORE YOU
START.

  THE FIRST STEP IN HIJACKING A SCHOOL BUS IS TO GET TO THE BUS YARD, UN-
NOTICED ON THE BUS, AFTER EVERYONE ELSE HAS GOTTEN OFF.  IN ORDER TO DO THIS,
SLIP QUIETLY ONTO THE BUS, SNEAK BACK TO THE LAST SEAT, AND DUCK DOWN.	DO NOT
BE NOTICED!!  THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!	NEXT, WAIT UNTIL THE BUS GETS TO THE
BUS YARD.  WHEN, AND ONLY WHEN IT DOES, MAKE SURE THE BUS DRIVER IS LOOKING THE
OTHER WAY, AND QUIETLY STAND UP.  WITH ONE SWIFT MOTION, OPEN THE EMERGENCY
EXIT AND LEAP OUT.  WITH LUCK, THE BUS DRIVER WILL NOT LOOK BACK UNTIL YOU ARE
OUT OF SIGHT.  THIS IS THE MOST DIFFICULT STEP.  IF POSSIBLE, FIND SOMEONE WHO
IS WILLING TO LET YOU PRACTICE ON THERE SCHOOL BUS...  WHEN YOU ARE OUT OF THE
BUS, CROUCH OVER AND WALK UNDER THE BUS TOWARD THE FRONT.  WHEN YOU GET TO THE
FRONT, WAIT UNTIL THE BUS DRIVER GOES TO THE BACK, AND JUMPS OUT OF THE BUS
LOOKING FOR YOU.  IF HE DOES NOT DO SO, THROW SOMETHING THAT WILL ATTRACT HIS
ATTENTION OUT FROM UNDER BUS, LIKE A SPARE TIRE (WHICH CAN BE HIDDEN ON YOUR
PERSON).  WHEN HE IS OUT OF THE BUS, QUICKLY CLIMB IN THE FRONT (IT IS VERY
EASY TO PRY THE FRONT DOOR OPEN...) AND DRIVE AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.	YOU
KNOW OWN A SCHOOL BUS, HAVE PHUN!

  NOTE:  THE ABOVE PROCEDURE RELIES ON THE FACT THAT THE AVERAGE SCHOOL BUS
DRIVER HAS AN I.Q.  LOWER THAT THE SCHOOL BUS NUMBER.  IF THE DRIVERS ARE ON
STRIKE, AND THE PRINCIPAL IS DRIVING YOUR BUS, WAIT!  REMEMBER, PATIENCE IS A
VIRTUE...

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

  SEE PART 1, BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE HAS, AND YOU FEEL LEFT OUT AND STUPID....
AND NOW, THE FILE YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

		%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
		((((((HOW TO HIJACK A SCHOOL BUS))))))
		***************PART II****************
		%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

		    DONATED BY THE LEPRECHAUN

  MY PREVIOUS FILE HAS BEEN THE SUB- JECT OF SEVERAL KEY QUESTIONS.  I WILL
ATTEMPT TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS.  BUT FIRST, IN ORDER TO ANNOY YOU, THE
READER, AND UNDERMINE THE FLOW AND RHYTHM OF THIS FILE, I PRESENT THE FOLLOWING
DISCLAIMER:

		 +------------------------------------+
		 \  THIS FILE, AND THE PREVIOUS FILE  \
		 \  OF THE SAME NAME ARE NOT THE RE-  \
		 \  SPONIBILITY OF THE AUTHOR, NOR    \
		 \  WAS I IN CONTROL OF MY ACTIONS ON \
		 \  THE SATURDAY NIGHT THAT I WROTE   \
		 \  THEM. ANY IDIOT WHO IS ACTUALLY   \
		 \  STUPID ENOUGH TO TRY THIS BELONGS \
		 \  EITHER IN FLOWERY HILLS INSTITUTE \
		 \  FOR THE CHRONICALLY ASSININE, OR  \
		 \  ON THE EXCELSIOR BBS!	      \
		 \				      \
		 \  IF EITHER FILE CONTAINS ANY REF-  \
		 \  ERENCE TO ANY ILLEGAL ACTION,     \
		 \  DON'T BOTHER ME! CHEW YOUR FIN-   \
		 \  GERS OFF AND DIE FOR ALL I CARE!  \
		 \  AND REMEMBER:		      \
		 \				      \
		 \  LIFE IS A HARD ROAD...	      \
		 +------------------------------------+

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE MAIN FEATURE...

  THE FIRST QUESTION I RECEIVED WAS:
  "WHAT DO I DO WITH THE SCHOOL BUS ONCE I HAVE IT?"

I OFFER THE FOLLOWING SUGGESTION:

  1) PAINT IT HOT PINK AND SELL IT TO CINDY LAUPER.
  2) WATERPROOF IT AND SELL IT TO PAUL MCCARTNEY.
  3) CUT OFF THE WHEELS AND SELL IT TO THE NYC DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION.

ANY MORE SUGGESTION? MAIL ME...

THE NEXT MOST ASKED QUESTION WAS:
  "WHAT ACTUAL ILLEGAL DRUGS WERE YOU UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF WHEN YOU WROTE THE
FILE?"

  WELL, I O.D.ED ON HOT CHOCOLATE!  I WAS COLD AND IT WAS HOT, SO WHAT CAN I
SAY?

SORRY, BUT WE'RE OUT OF ROOM FOR NOW.

  TUNE IN NEXT TIME I GET MY ASS INTO THE TEXT EDITOR FOR:

  HOW TO HIJACK A SCHOOL BUS, PART III IN 3D!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


  DEDICATED TO THE P.L.O.:  THEY TAKE BUSES THE OLD FASHION WAY...

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

			   /---------------------/
			  /_____________________/!
			  !		       ! !
			  !  HOW TO HIJACK A   ! !
			  !    SCHOOL BUS      ! !
			  !		       ! !
			  !    PART III        ! !
			  !	(IN 3D)        ! !
			  !____________________!/

			 DONATED BY: THE LEPRECHAUN

  ALTHOUGH PART I OF THIS SERIES WAS PERFECTLY FINE FOR 90% OF ITS READERS,
THERE WAS THAT 10% WHO WANTED TO TAKE IT THAT ONE STEP FURTHER:  THEY WANTED
HOSTAGES.  SEVERAL REASONS WERE GIVEN FOR THIS:

  A) I CAN'T STAND THE KID WHO SITS BEHIND ME, AND I WANT _HIM_ IN THE BUS WHEN
     I PUSH IT OVER A CLIFF...	B) I FEEL LONELY WITHOUT PEOPLE THROW- ING
     SPITBALLS AROUND AND DUMPING UNDERCLASSMEN OUT THE WINDOW...  C) THERE'S
     THIS GIRL ON MY BUS, AND I WON'T SLEEP UNTIL SHE PUTS HER HAND ON...

  OOPS!  I FORGOT!  THIS IS A FAMILY FILE!  PLEASE IGNORE REASON C ABOVE...

  THE ART OF TAKING HOSTAGES IS ONE OF THE MOST STUDIED, AND ADDS A SIG-
NIFICANT AMMOUNT OF DIFFICULTY TO THE PROCEDURE...THEREFORE I MUST AGAIN URGE
YOU:  DO NOT TRY THIS ON MONDAYS!  ITS HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT _THAT_!

  THE FIRST STEP IS IN TAKING HOST- AGES IS TO GET THE HOSTAGES INTO A STATE IN
WHICH THEY WON'T CARE IF YOU KIDNAP THEM.  UNFORTUNATELY, MOST MATERIALS THAT
COME TO MIND ARE FROWN- ED ON BY THE POLICE (AND WHO WANTS A BUSLOAD OF STONED
HIGH SCHOOL KIDS?), AND HOT CHOCOLATE JUST DOESN'T HAVE THAT MAGIC EFFECT ON
EVERYONE, SO I RECOMMEND THE FOLLOWING MIXTURE:

  TWELVE (12) PARTS NIQUIL
  FOUR (4) PARTS LAUGHING GAS
  TWO (2) TAPE RECORDINGS OF RONALD REAGAN

AND A PINCH OF SAND FOR GOOD LUCK...

  GRIND THE INCREDIENTS TO A POWDER AND MIX INTO A BOWL OF KOOL AID (OTHER
FRUIT JUICES OR SODA CAN BE SUBSTITUTED--DO NOT USE COFFEE!)...

  NOW TAKE YOUR CONCOCTION TO SCHOOL.  IN THE AFTERNOON, WHEN YOU LEAVE SCHOOL,
TELL THE BUS DRIVER THAT IT IS YOUR AUNT'S BIRTHDAY (OR ANY SPECIAL
OCCASION--NATIONAL HOLIDAY, HOWARD COSELL WAS KILLED IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT,
ETC.).	THEN GIVE A CUP OF PUNCH TO EACH PERSON ON THE BUS.  NO MATTER HOW GOOD
IT LOOKS, DO NOT DRINK IT YOURSELF:  SAND GETS CAUGHT IN YOUR BRACES!  IN 3-5
MINUTES THE WHOLE BUS SHOULD BE IN SLUMBERLAND, STEP ON THE GAS AND GO
SOMEWHERE SAFE.

  YOU NOW HAVE A SCHOOL BUS AND 45 SLEEPING KIDS, WHO WILL WAKE UP IN 2-3
HOURS...

  NOTE:  TIE UP THE DRIVER, AND LEAVE HIM SOMEWHERE...MOST DON'T LIKE KIDS WHO
KIDNAP THEM...


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

  MANY A COMPLAINT HAS ENTERED MY MAILBOX DUE TO THE FACT THAT MY PREVIOUS
FILES HAVE NEVER ADDRESSED THE QUESTION OF HOW TO HIJACK A SCHOOL BUS WITH A
COMPUTER!  HACKERS AND PHREAKERS ALIKE WERE DISGUSTED WITH THE IDEA OF CRAWLING
UNDER A BUS, AND POSSIBLE _DIRTYING THEIR NEW CORDS!_ (THIS FEAR WAS PREVELANT
AMONG HOPKIN'S STUDENTS...).  AND SO, AS AN ADDITION TO THE GROWING BASE OF
HIJACKING FILES I PRESENT:

		       +----------------------------+
		       +-+ +-+ +-+-+ + +-+ +-+	 +--+
		       ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !1!	 !  !
		       +-+ +-+ +-+ +-+ +-+ +-+	 +--+
		       ! HOW HIJACK A SCHOOL BUS    +------+
		       +===================================!
		       ! PART IV (THE FINAL CHAPTER)	   !
		       +-----------------------------------+
			   \____/	     \____/

			   DONATED BY: THE LEPRECHAUN

		      CALL THE RAINBOW'S END: (203)-453-1089

  IN ORDER TO USE YOUR COMPUTER TO HIJACK A SCHOOL BUS, YOU MUST FIRST LOCATE A
SCHOOL BUS WHOSE NAVIGATIONS ARE CONTROLLED BY A COMPUTER, WHICH IS HOOKED UP
TO A MODEM AND A WORKING PORTABLE TELEPHONE.  THESE ARE FEW AND FAR
BETWEEN...IN ORDER TO FIND A SYSTEM, I RECOMMEND A SCAN OF THE FOLLOWING AREA
CODES:

001
002
003
004
005
006
007
008
009
010
011

..ETC.

  I KNOW THIS IS A LOT OF WORK, BUT I HAVE SPENT ALL OF MY COMPUTER TIME UP
'TIL NOW SCANNING (AND ELIMINATING) THE TWO DIGIT AREA CODES...

  THIS MAY TAKE A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT OF TIME, AND I SUGGEST THAT YOU GET A FEW
PEOPLE TO HELP U, WITH A COMBINED EFFORT OF 10-12 PEOPLE THE TASK SHOULD ONLY
TAKE A MATTER OF WEEKS...

  ONCE YOU HAVE FOUND A WORKING SYSTEM, YOU MUST PENETRATE ITS DEFENSES.
BECAUSE OF THE LOW AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE OF BUS DRIVERS, MOST BUS CONTROLLED BBS
SYSTEMS USE THE NET- WORKS BBS SOFTWARE.  FIND OUT HOW TO CRASH THIS
ELSEWHERE...

  ONCE YOU HAVE ENTERED THE BBS YOU MUST USE THE (B)US CONTROL COMMAND TO
DIRECT THE BUS TO YOUR LOCATION.  THE LONGITUDE AND LATITUDE OF YOUR HOUSE CAN
BE FOUND IN ANY LOCAL LIBRARY, OR CALL:

     1-800-LATITUDE

   HOPE THIS HELPS...

  NOTE:  DUE TO A SHORT CIRCUIT IN MY WORD PROCESSOR, I WILL BE UNABLE TO GIVE
A FOOL-PROOF MEDTHOD OF TAKING HOSTAGES WITH YOUR COMPUTER...SORRY!

  TUNE IN NEXT TIME THE FULL MOON RISES FOR HOW TO HIJACK A SCHOOL BUS PART V,
THE FINAL CHAPTER, PART 2...
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