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	Creative Ways to Answer
		     Your Phone

       Typed By Elric of Imrryr
	    Lunatic Labs UnLtd.

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Here is a list of strange or interesting ways to answer the phone.  Whether to
be your own, your roomates, and pay phone or what have you.

Shhh! Don't talk, just listen!  Meet me at the corner of Broad and Main and
bring the girl.

Martin's Mutilated Meat Market.  Marvin Martin here.

Don't ever call me again!<click>

Congratulations! You've just won an all-expensive-paid trip to the Arctic!

So! You've found me! Well you won't stop me! Tomorrow I unleash Microbe X!
<click>

You continue to call? Good! Now I can place the Curse of the Rats on
you!<click>

Joe's Morgue. You stab 'em, we slab 'em.

Secret headquarters of C the Arctic!

Secret headquarters of Clown for Crime. Bozo speaking.

You relize, of course, that while you are wasting your time calling peole on
the phone, millions are starving

Admit it! You have no idea who I am!

Calling for help won't do any good! We have taken over your town today, and
tomorrow we'll take over your world!

If you don't have a good reason for calling me, I swear I will kill myself!

Hi! Wanna have sex?

International Transmutal Conglomeration of Associates. May I help you?

By calling this number you have triggered a relay that will blow up your phone.

It's -37! Okay? -37! Sheesh!  Some people! <click>

Adolf Hitler speaking.

Renfield! I told you never to call me during the daytime! You know how the
sunlight burns!

Sorry can't talk right now!  This building is about to blow up!

Help! We're being robbed! I -arrrggghhh...<click>

This is the year 2054. May we be of assitance?

This is Madame Olga. I see all and know all. To whom am I speaking?

Dick is out. Jane is out. Spot is out. This is their answering machine.  I am
in. The beep is in. At the sound of the beep leave your name. At the sound of
the beep leave your message.  <Beep!>

This is John Potz, worm cultivator

You?! Well your mother! That's right! Your mother!!!

Harvey Hathaway, hit man. I hit who you hate. Prices range from $10,000 to
$50,000.

This is Fred Farnum speaking to your from the grave.

Dis is Louis. Whose is youse?

Hello, you're on the air. May I assit you?

Hi. If you can tell me how to spell cloaca you will win 2,000!

Austin Police Department.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z! <Click>

Hi! Are you calling to buy the parent dissolver or the organic lycanthrope
pills

This is Alexander Trumble, and this)yr the Twilight Zone.

This is Captain Blood, supervillian for hire.

It's no use! Your call won't get through! We now control the telephone company!

If you take off your skin it will get very cold outside

Death here. Hold on, I'll be right with you!

Hello. This is Walter Masters.	I am undoubtedly one of most interesting people
you are going to run across in your meager life. Why are you calling me?

wn! Run! The little blue men are coming! Run! Aarrgghh!

Hang up! Right now! Just hang up!

Eggs taste terrible when they're not salted properly

You pervert! Call me again and I'll rip out your small intestines and tie it
around you scrawny little neck, you geek!

A LunaLabs Producation...



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