
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
!                      The Fine Art of Phlasher Phinding                     !
!                                                                            !
!                              Written by:                                   !
!                                     ________________                       !
!                                     \Cheap/ \Shades/                       !
!                                      \___/   \____/                        !
!                                                                            !
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ 3/8/86 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

     First of all the information contained in this file is for your
information only the actual use of any of this information is illegal and it's
your problem if you get caught. (In other words do this at your own risk!)

     For the past few weeks me and the other local BBSers have been passing the
time on weekends before the parties start by phlasher phinding. For those of
you unfamiliar with this practice it's basically going out, getting buzzed and
stealing those little yellow flashing lights off the tops of construction
horses.  These little flashers are just about useless for most people
(including us) but hey sometimes you gotta have some fun.  Before you go out
phlasher phinding you will need to prepare.

You will need:
-------------
1: A car                    (very important for fast get-a-ways)
2: Needle-nose vise grips   (to take the flashers off the saw horses)
3: Blade screwdriver        (to open up the flasher after you find it)
4: Pocket knife             (to make a larger hole in the flasher so it can be
                             turned off)
5: Electrical tape          (to cover the light sensor)
6: Lots of beer             (at least enough to get everyone drunk)
7: Lots of people           (at least 3 but the more the better)

     Now that you are all prepared for phlasher phinding you need to of course
find flashers.  This shouldn't be too tough, just drive around sub-divisions at
night and look for the familiar yellow flashing.  Once you find one time to go
to work. Park the car about 100 feet past the flasher. At least two people
should go back to get it. Use the needlenose vise grips to get the bolt off.
(These vise grips are definitely the best tool we've found to do this so far.)
The reason that you want at least two people to head for the flasher is one of
them has to be a look out, while you are getting the bolt off there is no way
you can tell if someone is watching.  Once you get the flasher tuck it into
your coat and run back to the car.  If this is your first time phlasher
phinding you should just dump the flashers into the trunk so the flashing
doesn't draw cops' attention as you drive by them.  If you are already adept at
taking the flashers apart just bring it into the car and turn the batteries
backwards so they don't make contact.  (Also if you see flashers that aren't
flashing grab them anyway most likely they are just turned off)

Applying flashers to home use:
-----------------------------
     Like I said earlier these suckers are just about useless but once you have
them you can at least make them less useless than they were when you got them.
To do this take the bottom off of the flasher (pry it off with a blade
screwdriver).  Now take out the batteries. You will now see a rectangular piece
of plastic along what was the top of the flasher. (There might also be a box
like piece of plastic sticking down between the batteries. Don't worry about
this yet.)  Pull the piece of plastic out of the flasher housing. The bulb will
be at the end of a long plastic shaft.  Now hold the plastic shaft up to the
light and look for two thin wires going up to a small round disk inside the
plastic. That's the light sensor (for you smart-asses out there it's a CDS
cell.) Wrap some electrical tape around the plastic shaft so that it is always
night to the flasher.  Now you need to do something about the switch so that
you can get to it easily.  The best thing to do is to cut a hole in the plastic
case outside the switch. (Some flashers have slide switches so if you have one
of those be sure and cut a hole on each side so that you can turn it on and
off.)  At least that's the most general way to do it for all flashers. You
might prefer running wires out of the case and putting your own switch on the
thing.

Things not to do while phlasher phinding:
----------------------------------------
     DO NOT take your beer to the flasher out of the car. If someone starts
chasing you, you might leave it there.
     DO NOT play "The Ultimate Sin" till its blowing your speakers as you stop
the car to go get the flasher. (once you have the flasher turn Ozzy back up)
     DO NOT let other people that you do not know observe you taking the
flasher.
     DO NOT take flashers from big construction sites or from the McDonald's
parking lot.
     DO NOT skip a flasher because it isn't flashing, you can fix it.
     DO NOT buy new batteries for a flasher whose batteries have gone dead.
(Just find another one!)
     DO NOT turn in your friends if you get caught.
     DO NOT get caught.

     I hope this has benefitted you more than it has me. I really still have no
idea what I should do with all these flashers laying around my house.  But it's
a good way to waste some time on a Saturday night until your girlfriend gets
off work or whatever...

                               Later,
                                   ________________
                                   \Cheap/ \Shades/
                                    \___/   \____/

