                       Software Pirates Incorporated

                             "oFF HouR aNaRCHy;)"


How to make a RED BOX

Everyone wants one of these, and this is a simple way to make em!
FINALLY! We supply the schematics and everything, no money required,
you just need your eyes! [Cataract free I hope.]

You will need:
A 2 pin crystal
Radio Shack Dialer
Ketchup [Heinz, not lame Hunts]
Elmer's glue
                    ## Ski-Matics ##
                 ______________________
                |  \    [Switzerland]  | These are straight forward for
                |  /\/\/               | anyone who is familar with
                |  |CR|----**KETCHUP**-| ski-matics. Once opened, apply
                |  \/\/\___[SnowMan]   | the around the sides, and glue it
                |  |   \ %%iNFORMER!%% | shut. Be careful not to hit the
                |  |__[Ski Slopes]     | Master run, its hard for beginners.
                |       /     \        | The crystal must be away from snow
                | [Master Run]  \      | to avoid short ciruit. Also, the
                |        [Bunny Slope] | informer MUST be a white colored
                |______________________| chip from Canada. 

Try this at ANY fortress payphone. If it does not work, dial the operator.
Tell her that you have a working red box, but you had to use ketchup as
a substitute for true red number 6 dye. If she becomes angry, tell her you 
have a large and well proportioned penis. If she hangs up, well, that's life!



                                                    MiRRORSHADES [SPi.WTi]
                                                  "oFFHour aNaRCHy Columnist"
                                                          March, 1993

       "Ok, so this month's file was really lame. So sue me you fucking 
bastard. I'm drunk and I don't know what the fuck is going on. Next time       
guys,L8r..."
