 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
-*-PROJECTS PHOR THE BORED ANARCHIST-*-
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
         BY: PROWLER

  SECTION I. (>ROADKILL CAN BE PHUN<)

     ROADKILL IS POSSIBLY THE MOST USE-
FUL THING IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. CON-
SIDER IT'S PROPERTIES: IT SMELLS BAD,
IT LOOKS BAD, IT CAN BE EASILY CONCEAL-
ED (THAT IS UNLESS IT'S A ROADKILL
HORSE OR SOMETHING TO THAT EFFECT!).

1. STUFF ROADKILL IN MAILBOXES, CAR'S
   GLOVE COMPARTMENTS, GENIE MACHINES,
   NIGHT DEPOSIT SLOTS, OR ANY OTHER
   CONVENIENT OPENING.
2. GIFT WRAP SOME ROADKILL AND SEND IT
   TO YOUR FAVORITE PERSON. BE SURE TO
   GIFTWRAP IT IN SOMETHING WITH FLOW-
   ERS OR HEARTS ON IT.
3. LEAVE SMALL ROADKILL STREWN ABOUT IN
   YOUR LOCAL MICKEY D'S (MCDONALDS)OR
   WHATEVER RESTAURANT YOU DON'T LIKE.
4. WRAP ROADKILL IN FREEZER PAPER, AND
   SECRET IT INTO SOMEONES FREEZER
   MARKED "ROAST", OR "BURGERS".
5. PUT ROADKILL IN SOMEONE'S WELL, OR
   CISTERN.
6. COMBINE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ROADKILL
   TO MAKE YOUR OWN NEW CREATURE. TAKE
   IT TO YOUR SCHOOL, AND LEAVE IT SOME
   PLACE WHERE IT IS SURE TO BE FOUND.
---------------------------------------
SECTION II (>POOLS<)

     HAVING A SWIMMING POOL IS POSSIBLY
THE BIGGEST WAY TO ASK TO BE ATTACKED
BY EVERY SELF-RESPECTING ANARCHIST
AROUND.

1. PISS, SHIT OR PUKE IN THE POOL.
2. LEAVE SOME EXTREMELY LARGE ROADKILL
   FLOATING IN THE POOL. I DON'T MEAN
   GROUNDHOG, I MEAN BIG, LIKE A HORSE
   DONKEY, OR COW.
3. POUR DIFFERENT COLORS OF DYE IN THE
   POOL.
4. PHUCK AROUND WITH THE THERMOSTAT.
5. PUT ROADKILL IN THE POOL'S FILTERS,
   THIS WILL CAUSE THE ENTIRE POOL TO
   SMELL AWFUL.
6. INVITE EVERYONE OVER TO YOUR POOL
   PARTY AT THE VICTIM'S HOUSE,
   PREFERABLY ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON.
---------------------------------------
SECTION III (>LATENIGHT PHUN<)

     DON'T YOU JUST LOVE TO SNEAK AROUD
AT NIGHT WHEN EVERYONE IS ASLEEP? YOU
CAN DO ALMOST ANYTHING AND NOONE WILL
KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING.

1. PLAY MAILBOX, WHERE THE GUY WHO
   MANGLES OR STEALS THE MOST MAILBOXES
   WINS THEM ALL.
2. DO KIDDIE HALLOWEEN STUFF: SOAP
   WINDOWS, THROW EGGS, ETC...
3. GET A BB GUN AND SHOOT THAT DAMN DOG
   THAT ALWAYS BARKS AT YOU. BE SURE TO
   SHOOT IT ABOUT 30 TIMES, TO INSURE
   MAXIMUM EFFECT.
4. TURN ON EVERYONE'S OUTDOOR FAUCETS.
   WHEN THEY GO TO WORK IN THE MORNING,
   THEIR YARD WILL BE A SWAMP.
5. BREAK INTO YOUR PHAVORITE SCHOOL.
   SEE WHAT THERE IS TO STEAL. IF YOU
   CANT FIND ANYTHING, TRASH THE PLACE!
6. HAVE A CONTEST TO SEE WHO CAN STEAL
   THE MOST INTERESTING ROAD SIGNS,
   LIKE COX ROAD, DIX LANE, ETC...
---------------------------------------
SECTION IV (>POP MACHINES<)

    HAVEN'T YOU EVER WONDERED HOW HOW A
POP MACHINE WORKS? THEY CAN BE REAL FUN
WHEN YOU'RE BORED.

1. REMOVE SOME OF THE PUSH BUTTONS, AND
   PLAY WITH THE STUFF BEHIND THEM. YOU
   WILL FIND THAT COINS DROP.
2. PUT A BIG BOMB UP IN WHERE THE POP
   CANS GO.
3. GET SOME OF YOUR PHRIENDS, AND A
   TRUCK. STEAL THE SONOFABITCH, 99% OF
   THE TIME, NOONE WILL STOP YOU.
4. JUST MANGLE IT TO THE POINT WHERE IT
   IS NO LONGER ANY GOOD FOR ANYTHING
   EXCEPT SCRAP METAL.
5. GLUE ONE OF THE BUTTONS DOWN WITH
   SUPER GLUE, NEXT TIME SOMEONE PUTS
   IN MONEY, IT WILL GIVE THEM THAT.
6. CRAZY GLUE ALL THE BUTTONS UP SO
   THAT SOMEONE WILL HAVE TO USE A
   SLEDGE HAMMER TO PRESS IT.
---------------------------------------
SECTION V (>CARS<)

     CARS CAN BE FUN, IF YOU'RE NOT THE
OWNER OF THE VICTIMISED VEHICLE.

1. PUT SOME GRAVEL BEHIND THE HUBCAPS,
   IF THE VICTIM IS NOT TOO MECHANICLY
   INCLINED, THEY WILL THINK THEIR CAR
   IS PHALLING APART.
2. CUT ALL THE WIRES (DASH, SEATS, ETC)
   IN THE ENTIRE CAR.
3. PUT MOTHBALLS IN THE GAS TANK. THIS
   WILL CAUSE THE VICTIM'S CAR TO SUDD-
   ENLY HIT SPEEDS ABOVE MACH 12.
4. GIVE IT A ONCE OVER: PAINT REMOVER
   ON THE HOOD, SLASHED TIRES, DENTED
   PANELS, SMASHED LIGHTS, ETC...
5. PUT CRAZY GLUE IN ALL THE LOCKS,
   THEY'LL NEVER GET INTO THE CAR.
6. STEAL THE LISCENCE PLATE AND REPLACE
   IT WITH ONE OF THOSE LITTLE LISCENCE
   PLATES YOU FIND IN BOXES OF HONEYCOM
   CEREAL.
---------------------------------------
RAISE SOME HELL!
---------------------------------------
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU
SAY THAT I TOLD YOU TO DO ALL THIS.

          PROWLER



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