
                      Dr. Nitemare presents...
                      Volume II- On Pissing Off
                          People in Cars
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        The first volume dealt with pissing off managers and store clerks in
drug stores and grocery stores such as Walgreens and Dominick's. This volume
takes a different route and talks about the driver and his tendencies to
crack under pressure. In this file I will discuss the various techniques used
by myself and companions to bring the susceptible driver to the point of
actually leaving his car and chasing us.
        When you were little, you may have done a neat trick called the
Alaskan Rope Trick. If you haven't heard of it the procedure is simple,
requiring only four or more people. On a roadside without streetlights at
night, divide the people up evenly into two groups- one goes to the other
side of the street across from the first group and both groups get in single
file line. A long branch is necessary to get the full potential out of this
trick, because the branch serves as a lead to a false rope that is supposedly
extended across the road. When a car comes in sight, both groups bend down
as to be picking the "rope" up. On a count of three, both groups pull on
their branch, and the car will sometimes get freaked out and hit the brakes.
Courage is necessary here, for the now angered party will jump out of the car
and shout obscenities. You have two choices: One, you can run like a bat out
of hell. Two, you can stick it out and hear it all. My preference is choice
#1 because if anyone is going to get out of the car they are usually a group
of huge badasses that are looking for a few to kick. So why do it if it's
dangerous? Well, the thrill of being chased has fascinated many, especially
those who are in the mood for trouble. Try it sometime!
        For those who have done this already and know what the Alaskan is, I
suggest a different trick. This trick has no special name, and it is similar
to the Alaskan, except you really have a rope across. The catch is, the rope
is attached to two garbage cans at either side of the rope, and are very much
mobile. When a car comes by, especially one who has seen the Alaskan and
knows its a fake, it will hit the rope, sending both cans sprawling at the
doors, possibly damaging the car and angering the driver severely.
        This same trick works great with shopping carts, I have done this at
a convenient shopping center with a back thru street behind it often used
on Saturday nights. The carts are aligned in such a way so as to roll and
smack themselves into the car. Now, you're saying that no car in the right
mind would try to run through the rope. Sometimes, yes, but the other times,
they still have to stop, dont they? A convenient hill above this thru street
makes for the perfect lookout. Only now the lookout becomes a battlement.
Several crabapple trees lie in the vicinity, and account for numerous attacks
on drivers getting out of their cars to move the carts (or garbage cans,
whichever). If you hit the cars, or drivers, be ready for an exciting chase.
Now, what happens if you accidentally hit a cop car? Easy. Prevent this by
keeping a lookout for the headlights. Cop cars usually have double headlights
so be extra careful in deciding who to attack. A good idea is to have some
form of cover in case you are chased (the hill above the thru street has a
fence running along it, providing sufficient cover to hide until the guy
gets out of his car).
        Well, that about wraps it up for now, if you can think of some more
nasty things to pull on cars, make an addition to this file, I'd like to hear
them. Anyway, watch for more of Dr. Nitemare's
wierd but useful files on nothing much!

