 
=------------------------------------=
=   THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE FALCON    =
=            PRESENTS:               =
=                                    =
=   HOW TO RIP OFF YOUR LOCAL BANK   =
=------------------------------------=
=   WRITTEN BY: CONAN THE BARBARIAN  =
=------------------------------------=

 1] IF YOU HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT GO
    TO STEP 2. IF NOT, THEN OPEN ONE
    AT A LOCAL BANK, AND DEPOSIT AT
    LEAST $100.

 2]  FIRST LIE TO YOUR PARENTS SAYING
    SOMETHING LIKE "MOM, I'M GOING TO
    GO BUY MYSELF A NEW DISK DRIVE".
    MOM SAYS "WELL, HOW MUCH DOES IT
    COST?". YOU REPLY "OH I CAN GET ONE
    FOR ABOUT $100." MAKE SURE YOU
    ALWAYS DEDUCT ABOUT 1/2 OF THE
    ORIGINAL PRICE WHEN TELLING THE
    COST TO YOUR PARENTS.

 3] GO TO YOUR BANK AND WITHDRAW THE
    MONEY (THE REAL AMOUNT NEEDED).
    THE LITTLE LADY WILL MARK IN YOUR
    BANK BOOK UNDER "WITHDRAWALS" HOW
    MUCH YOU WITHDREW..SHE WILL DATE IT
    AND SIGN HER INITIALS.. GO SPEND
    THE MONEY ON WHATEVER YOU SAID
    YOU WERE GOING TO BUY...

 4] NOW TAKE YOUR BANK BOOK AND FIND
    WHERE THE BITCH RECORDED YOUR
    WITHDRAWAL...TAKE A PEN
    OF THE SAME COLOR AND CHANGE
    THE AMOUNT TO WHATEVER YOU TOLD
    YOUR PARENTS HOW MUCH YOU PLANNED
    ON SPENDING.
     -> MAKE IT LOOK RATHER SLOPPY <-

 5] NOW COMPLAIN TO YOUR PARENTS AND
    SHOW THEM THE RECORDED AMOUNT.
    MAKE SURE YOU BURN YOUR RECIEPT
    BEFORE DOING THIS.  MOM SHOULD
    REMEMBER THE AMOUNT (LIE) YOU
    TOLD HER YOU WERE GOING TO SPEND.

 6] GET YOUR PARENTS TO GO TO YOUR
    BANK WITH YOU AND RAISE HELL!!
    NOTE: SOME BANKS HAVE CODES FOR
    WHEN A TELLER MAKES AN ERROR SHE
    WILL MARK A CERTAIN CODE IN THE
    BOOK..IF THIS HAPPENS SIMPLY STATE
    THAT SHE MUST HAVE MADE A MISTAKE!

 7] WHEN THE BANK ASKS TO SEE YOUR
    RECEIPT, TELL THEM YOU LOST IT.
    IF THEY PURSUE THE MATTER FURTHER
    AND ATTEMPT TO CONTACT THE PLACE
    THAT YOU BOUGHT YOUR DRIVE FROM,
    TELL THEM THAT YOU OBTAINED IT
    THROUGH THE MAIL FROM SOMEONE YOU
    MET ON A COMPUTER BULLETIN BOARD
    SYSTEM...TELL THEM YOU DO NOT KNOW
    THE PERSONS NUMBER OR ANYTHING
    ABOUT THEM..EXCEPT THAT YOU SENT
    THE MONEY TO:  "GIVE THEM THE
    ADDRESS OF A FELLOW PIRATE FRIEND
    WHO WILL LIE FOR YOU....

 8] THE BANK > WILL < APOLIGIZE AND
    REFUND YOU YOUR MONEY! IF THEY
    DON'T TELL THEM YOU ARE OPENING
    A NEW ACCOUNT AT A DIFFERENT BANK
    AND YOU ARE CONTACTING YOUR LAWYER.
    IF THEY STILL DO NOT REFUND YOU
    THEN YOU HAD BETTER FIND A FILE
    ON "HOW TO BLOW UP A BANK".

 9] WARNING!! DO THIS ONCE IN A LIFE-
    TIME...IF IT BECOMES A PART OF
    YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE THEN PEOPLE
    WILL BECOME SUSPICOUS!...

=-------------------------------------=
  CALL:

         The PIRATES' HOLLOW
           415-236-2371

   Skeleton Crue -- HQ for CH&AOS
           415-376-8060    
     
=-------------------------------------=
