   How to Really Piss Off a Wallgreens,
   Or A Dominick's
 
 
        Have you ever been in a drug store, such as Walgreens, and found
that you were out of money and really hungry? Or maybe you were just in
the mood for some fun. I've always been a muschief fanatic myself, and
thought I'd share with you some experiences I've had at Wallgreens and
Dominick's.          How many of you have been arrested for shoplifting?
Well, I've never had this unfortunate experience happen, but I have
friends who have, and Wallgreen's is notorious for keeping an eagle-eye
out for thieves. Well, we decided that if they were gonna be serious so
were we.          One day we decided to cause a little ruckus. A nice
Saturday night, a buddy of mine and I went to Wallgreens and started
looking around. I, keeping a low profile, hadn't a reputation and wasnt
known by the manager. My friend, however, had a record a mile long (it's
even longr now) and was instantly put under surveillance as soon as we
entered. We strutted over to the candy section, and marveled at all the
nice things to eat. Shawn, (my buddy- last name anony) who was always
prepared, wore his jacket that we had prepared for this special occasion.
It had a huge hole in the bottom of the pocket, and was used to sike the
manager out of his skull!         Shawn made sure he was being watched
before he proceeded. He went to the gum rack, took a pack of gum, and
cooly slipped it into his pocket- a little too cooly- but with all
intentions- for our friend the manager raised an eyebrow. When we
proceeded out the store, the manager ran out the electronic opening door
(I'll get to that later) and grabbed Shawn by the arm.         "Ha you
little shit! I got you now!" The dick proclaimed, feeling like he was on
Miami Vice or something.         "What are you talking about?" Shawn
nonchelantly asked.         The dick proceeded to search Shawn's pockets
for the gum. When he turned up with nothing, he searched us both. We, of
course, were laughing our heads off. When Shawn slipped the gum into his
pocket, it fell through his pocket and into another tray of candy. Shawn
had his back turned from the manager (adding to the suspicion) so he
couldnt have seen it fall. The Manager threatened us with all kinds of
nasty things, but we just flipped him off and walked away, and went home
and rolled with laughter for the rest of the night.
 
PART II- The electronic door:         I said I would get back to this, so
here it is.         When the manager ran out the door, we could have made
things even harder for the old guy. If youve ever looked at the box over
an electric door, it sometimes has a switch. Flip this, and sit back, and
watch the fun!         I've seen these switches at the
Dominick's/Walgreens connected stores. What the switch does is turn off
the automatic opener. The hilarious part is: What happens when some fat
lady with six kids and a cart full of groceries (at least two kids are in
the cart) comes bustling out the door? Answer- She smacks right into the
door, expecting it to open for her, and the cart burys itself into her
rolls of stomach, and the kids fall over and crush the fat lady's 3.99 box
of grade A eggs. This can be enjoyed anytime, but usually works best at
night when people are in a rush to get home so they can watch their
programs on T.V.          I hope you try these easy but pleasing
techniques of relly pissing someone off- Its always been a favorie thing
of mine to do- I hope it will soon be one of yours. Thank you for your
attention.                                     -Dr. Nitemare-

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