`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`
'`                           _-=Presenting=-_                                '`
'`                           -Drive-Thru Fun-                                '`
'`                                                                           '`
'`                                                                           '`
'`                Typed up for your enjoyment by The Kid                     '`
'`                                                                           '`
'`                    Authors - The Kid and Lewd Po8                         '`
'`                                                                           '`
'`(c) 1992 The Kid                                                           '`
`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`

   The person who invented drive-thru's should be hung by his balls until he
repents (Too merciful, take a meat hook to his pubic bone and hang him till he
bleeds piss -Lewd Po8)... I'm sick of trying to order a burger and having the 
"teller" say `Do you want fries with your chicken taco?' They must train the 
fast food workers to be deaf... And you think that in the age of computers,
they have speakers that work.. Instead you hear `Tha<cracklepopcracklefuzz>
at the <crackleboompop>' Plus, they assume once people are done ordering that
they must ask `anything else' because they just might want more... Soooo, this 
text file is designed for new ways of revenge upon the fools of fast food.. 
Notice, I said `new' not shit like yelling into the speaker and changing your 
order every time they read back your order. As far as I know, I have not seen
any of these things in another text file.

   Equipment Required- Generally, all you need is the right kind of drive thru,
and that's the catch... There are many methods of drive-thrus, I think the 
one used mostly is an underground sensor, but they vary, I have seen electronic
eye type sensors, and there are drive thru's where you hit a button. The kind
you need is one in which the sensor consists of a rubber strip that lays across 
the path of the drive-thru.. I have seen these mostly at NEW Burger Kings, the 
older ones have underground sensors or something, but I suggest checking out
fast food drive-thrus in your areas, and find one that's shadowy, convienent, 
and contains the necessary type of drive-thru....     

 First of all, start with a few phantom orders. From the fast food tellers
point of view, these are slightly annoying, but at two o clock in the morning
and done a few thousand times they are going to get pissed off...
How to do this: 

  Okay. Take a look at that small rubber strip laying across the
drive-thru (I'm trying to cut down. - Lewd Po8) . Impact senstive, just 
stepping on it will buzz the fast food teller... They will answer `Hello, 
may I help you please?' followed by a few hellos probably.. You will know 
when they `hang up' because the speaker will stop buzzing. When it does, 
step on the rubber strip again. Keep this up as long as you like.. 
NOTE: There may be camera survallience of the drive-thru line, so dodge out 
of the way after you hit the strip. Soon , the fast food worker or management 
will come out. Hit them with a few ink-filled balloons. 

 Next, move the rubber strip out of the way of the cars. This will result in
pissed off customers not getting any service. Do this a little before lunch
hour. Eventually someone will come out and stop your fun, if you are daring,
hit em with the ink balloons in full daylite... For maximum effect, pay them a
visit at two or four in the morning (Or if they arent 24 hours, even better,
hit em when they're closed.), and cut the rubber strip off, leaving nothing to
signal the teller. The drive-thru will closed for who knows how long, and the
fast food place will lose 50 - 100 bucks or more... Remember, there is always
the chance of a camera, or even some dewd out fer a walk who might happen to
see ya.. You're going to want a ski mask, or pantyhose over your head or
something.. Conceal any scars and tattoos.. Cut the strip quickly then get
the hell out of there...

 So far, I've said a lot about a camera being able to screw you over cuz they 
see ya... To gain revenge, or just if you're feeling destructive or something,
locate the camera and hit it with a sling shot (Or a BB gun) then leave, fast.
They might not get it replaced for awhile, so you can followup and wreak havoc 
on the night after.. (Lewd Advice : If you can find a camera, and a certifiably
insane or high like me, strip yourself and wear your underwear as a mask. Then 
either moon the camera, or violenly mastarbate till somebody tries to stop you
-Lewd Poet)

 It's not new, but it's a classic and no good t-file on drive thrus would be
without it.. Drive up, and ask for a pizza or lobster or something. Make sure
you argue for at least twenty minutes, and make sure there's five people
behind you. They cannot do anything to you.. Some twists on this : Pretend to
be hard of hearing, when they read back your order say something like `Eh, I
dont want any damn sardines! I want a burger and fries. Are you deaf, young
man?'... Have a epilepsy attack or faint in your car when there are twenty
people behind you..

 Misc. Ideas :
  Epoxy nails in the drive thru, put them at an angle so it will pop the
tires...
  Drive up to the window without ordering.. Wait there like you're waiting for
your order..
  Leave a roadkill on the drive-thru speaker or in the middle of the
drive-thru..

Lewd Po8's corner -  
  
 Poetry Of The Month : 
  
   To the tune of Nirvana's `Lounge Act' - 
     
        `Jack Act'
     
 It's true, masturbation wasn't meant for two, but it's one of the things I do-           
Just watch attentively-a, I give you a command performance for free-a, cause-
 
 Chorus:  I'VE GOT THESE HANDS YOU SEE AND THEY MAKE ME FEEL... AND I WANT IT 
MORE UNTIL MY FORESKIN STARTS TO PEEL, I MOLEST MYSELF, AND NO ONE ELSE, I GET 
RAW AND BLEED AND DEVELOP WELTS...
 
 Don't tell me my palms will sprout hair, I've already got hair there, I've 
got bruised genitilia, why woncha let me feel ya?
 
 Chorus

 Now, as I mash my little dicky, I get a self-inflicted hicky, with your hand 
that's hard to do, but I'll wash them when I'm through.

 Chorus
 
 TRUE! IT'S A HANDFUL OF FUN FOR ME! BEST OF ALL IT'S COMPLETELY FREE! YOU NEED 
NOT SPEND MONEY ON A WHORE -- JUST DROP YOUR PANTS AND CLOSE THE DOOR-
  
 Chorus
   
Lewd Po8 Quote of The Month : Love is merely a veneral disease

DISCLAIMER: I take no responsibilty for what Lewd Po8 says or does. He's the 
sick one, if you have a complaint, BITCH AT HIM! -The Kid

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DISCLAIMER : Damage induced by this text-file is neither my responsibilty or 
fault.

 Support Freedom Of Information! Exercise your right to burn a flag today!
(He meant burn a FAG -Lewd Po8) 

 Later... 


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