*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@
&                                                                             #
^                             Killing Canines                                 $
%                              The Coven Way                                  %
$                                                                             ^
%  (____)                 (____)                (____)                (____)  %
^   \  /                   \  /                  \  /                  \  /   $
&    \/                     \/                    \/                    \/    #
*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@!*&^%$#@

Disclaimer:I suggest you try every damn one of these things.  Have a helluva
time.

    It's Saturday morning...  4 AM...  You were supposed to be in 3 hours ago,
so you are sneaking in...  And no matter what you do, whether it is try to
quietly open a window or slowly open the door, the damn dog your mother loves 
so much starts barking like hell.  Parents wake up, and you're busted.  They
finally go to bed, wake up the next day, and find Fido splattered in the
Microwave.  Damn mutts.


    Has that ever happened to you?  Well even if it hasn't and you just hate 
the
little f*****s, here's a file to give you some ideas for getting rid of them
and having a helluva time, too.


    It's the middle of summer.  You're going to the mall to laugh at old people
or something, when suddenly you notice that SOMEone has left a dog inside their
car, but with the window down.  (You grin evilly and head for the target!)
Ok, if the window is down enough and the dog isn't a Pit Bull or something, 
pull
the little b*****d out of there, tie it to your bumper, and Head Out To The
Highway.  Window not down far enough?  Smash it.  Or, you could feed the little
bone-chewing b*****d a bag of chocolate chip cookies.  (A chemical in the
chocolate is poison to them.)  If you want, feed the thing a penny minted after
1982 (embed it in something), the Zinc will drop the mutt.  Of course, if you
just want to harrass it, throw things at it from outside the car, swat at it
with a broom, shoot it with a BB gun, throw a cat into the car, throw another
DOG into the car, etc etc etc.
    Do you have a neighbor who really p****s you off?  Do they ever tie their
dog up outside?  Well if they do,and it's nice and hot outside,put Anti-Freeze
in their water-dish. (The Dog's dish for you dump a***s). They like the taste,
but it kinda kills them. You could always take off it's dog tag and release the
POOR creature, then call the Pound.  If you think you can pull it off, put some
Quick-Dry cement and some Flour into a bowl and put it where the dog can eat it
  They eat it, get thirsty, drink water, get stoned.
    It's night-time.  You're bored.  Need something to do?  Go out and find a
dog somewhere, it oughtta be easy enough.  You hate the little s**t.  You want
him dead.  But you want to have some fun first.  Ok, be nice to him for awhile,
get him to be friendly to you...The pour gas all over him and light the f****r
up!  Flaming dogs running through the streets, oh what a feeling.  Of course,
you could just our Sulfuric acid all over it instead of gas...
    It's your little sister's birthday. She gets a stupid a** puppy. What's it
gonna do?  Lick your ankles and s**t on the carpet.  You're going down the
highway with the 'family' which now includes a puppy which also wants to ride 
in your lap.  (Probably wants to p*** on you, right?) Well,the puppy looks bored, so you're gonna roll down the window so it can see outside better and get some wind in his face. Then throw that son of a dog-bitch out the window. If you're going fast enough they'll skid around on the highway for awhile before someone makes a spot out of Spot.
    Got some rope handy?  Got a dog handy?  There are lots of things you can
do...  Tie the rope around the dog's lower half and hind legs.  Holding the
other end, twirl the mutt around and around over your head!  Look!  Up in the
sky!  It's Super Puppy flying through the air when you let go of the rope!  Of
course, if you can spin fast enough you could slam the poor s***'s body into a
tree trunk, or throw it out onto the highway at the Big Rigs.  (50 points for
each Truck you hit, see who can get the most point!)  Or, instead of throwing
the b*****d into trees, throw an end of the rope (or the dog) over some high
object like a tree-limb or swing, or any other 'bar'.  Pull the s**t up so his
feet can't touch the ground and tie off your end.  Hey!  It's a rope swing!
Grab hold of those legs and see how long it takes them to pull out of his body!
(Or if it's near a road,see how many cars you can hit). Or if you just want to
have fun with him while he's hanging there,push him high and higher,see if you
can make him do a complete loop.  Fun, huh?
    Well, you hate dogs, but you aren't really into creative slaughter...  So,
just take a shotgun and blow the f****r to pieces.  Or run over the s**t in a
car.  (Chasing them through their owner's yard is always a fun thing to do) If
you're good with a lasso you could snag the mutt while driving past him, then
see how many mail boxes you can hit with him.



    I hope this has been informative, and may all your problems with those
f*****g canine hell-hounds be easily solved from now on.  Happy dog killing!

                                    Mephisto
               (Thanks to Omegan and Orcus for some of the ideas)

         The Coven are Mephisto, Omegan, Drummer, The Jackal, and Orcus

                                More files soon.

                                 Chaos rampant.
                              An age of distrust.
                                Confrontations.
                               Impulsive sabbath.
                          On and on, south of heaven.

