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And now...VOIDTThe Connection, in cooperation with Anarchy, Inc. present...
                   "Phun in Movie Theatres!"
                    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

...Dedicated to the Jackal...

     Ah, so you have decided to suffer through yet another "Phun in..." phile?
Well, hopefully, this one will be worth your while...

    The first thing you have to do is create a fuss at the ticket counter. I
don't care how old you are or look; Try to convince the dumb tickellers
that you are under 12 and can get in for the cheap rate...Usually, they
will get tired of arguing with you and let you in cheaply.

    Then, proceed to the concession stand.  Buy a nice big bowl (?) of
popcorn.  This will prove useful in the future.  Oh, yes, when you pay
for your popcorn, pay in pennies...Also buy a coke with *LOTS* of ice...

    Go to the theatre itself.  There are two main places where you can sit
& create havoc...both of these places will be outlined in the philes to come...

    1.  The first place is near the front.  Sit in the very middle (crawling
over people to get there...) and position yourself for action.  One of the
most phun things to do (Which I'm sure has been done by everyone...) is to
throw the popcorn at ev'ryone...Mundane, but it still drives people crazy...
Another trick is to get up in the middle of the movie, crawl over all the
people in your row, and stand up in front of the screen.  Yell something 
strange and quickly retire back to your place...
        Bring a frisbee along; I have found that the movie house is one
of the greatest places to play frisbee with a friend...Just aim for that
bald guy in the hat...
        Yet another phun trick is to say to your friend, in a rather loud voice
"gee, I lost my $20 bill on the floor...can you help me find it?"  Immediately,
ev'ryone will begin to hunt for it...
     
    2.  Probably the best place to have phun is in the back.  One of the
first things you can do is to place all the ice of your coke in front of the
door...watch all the instant ice skaters!
        Play "Bounce the popcorn on the bald guy with the hat"...This can
be real phun...see how high you can make *YOUR* piece of popcorn bounce!
        This one is very phunny (thank God no one has done it to me!)...There
is *ALWAYS* a couple making out in the back of the theatre...simply bring
your trusty old flashlight and, at the appropriate moment, shine it at them...
An even crueller thing to do is bring a flash & flash it at them...they will
think you have taken a picture of them! (oh, how cruel!!)
        Then, there is always the making of strange noises from the back.
Moo, grunt, or make some other strange noise...the people in the theatre will
spend the next 122 hour going batty trying to figure out where it came from...

    3.  Other phun places include inside the curtains in the back of some
theatres...if you're lucky, you will catch someone making out back there, if
not, there are *ALWAYS* lots of phun wires and things to pull & experiment
with back there...If you're real clever (and mean as hell!), you can hide
back there...at a real scary moment, jump out at the people in the back
row of the theatre...(Note:I am not responsible for cases brought up as a 
result of a heart attack caused by this...)
        Aha...and now we come to...the roof!  Well, it is pretty easily
accessed by stairs! Real phun if you're not afraid of heights...
        Oh, yes, another place where people like to make out is behind the
big blue garbage bins (Believe it or not!)...Hide in one of the garbage
cans, and, again at the best moment, hop out & scare the hell out of the
poor couple...

Note that all of these are non-destructive phun...If you want the destructive
stuff, I'll write another phile...

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...And, so, there you have it...just in time for Dune...hahaha...hee hee...

Written by Princess Leia in cooperation with VOIDTThe Connection and Anarchy,
Inc.   C)1984...No rights reserved...

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