                   Being a Public Enemy of your Neighborhood
                                by Excursionist

                                     8/1/89

      In the past, I have seen sevaral Anarchy Magazines and anarchy text files
that cover everything from blowing up sea gulls to making poisons from
household plants. They are all well written and useful for the everyday
anarchist, but they lack something. Realism. I'm not saying all these texts are
unrealistic, but a lot of them are.
      Once I stumbled across a g-file entitled "WIPEOUT.BOX" which went into
great depth to describe how to eliminate all the people in your neighborhood.
The required materials for this box were: 1 cargo airplane, 1 nuclear warhead,
and piloting skills. I do not know why the author of that text file even
bothered to load up his text editor to write something so utterly stupid as
that.
      This is why I am writing this file.... So an everyday person like me who
doesn't work for METLEX Explosives & Research Company can create havok within
his/her neighborhood. The required materials are things you can find around
your house, or if not, go to K-Mart and buy them for $20 or less. The most
expensive thing is a bb gun I suppose.


Wrapping a dick head's house:

                             [1] 2-? rolls of Brand X toilet paper
                                 (i.e. Kroger Kost Kutter toilet paper. No use
                                  wasting good paper on an asshole's house)

                             [2] Lot's of piss. Chug down a couple of cans of
                                 your favorite beverage 30-45 minutes before
                                 you leave on your venture.

                   Optional: [3] Generic bb gun

      As you might have guessed by now, the simplicity of this scheme is grand.
Since a lot of neighborhoods are now being patrolled from 1:00 - 5:00 am., I
suggest leaving your home at around 12:15 am. This gives you 45 minutes of
trouble making. As mentioned earlier, consume 3-6 cans of your favorite
non-alchoholic beverage [being drunk when wrapping a house doesn't help much]
before leaving the comfort of your home.
      Sneak out of the house through a bedroom/bathroom window so that no one
including your neighbors see you. Walk/jog/run/sprint to the victim's general
area. Once there, make sure no one is watching. Optional: Shoot out the street
lights with your bb gun before proceeding any further.
      Then the excitement begins. Commence to tear off 3-10 foot pieces of
toilet paper from the roll and spread them in all the necessary places.
Suggested areas: Windows and hard to reach places like the roof. Putting the
paper on windows is the most ideal spot because when you urinate all over the
toilet paper, it will stick best to the windows. Ring the doorbell 5 times and
haul ass through the backyards.
      If you are pursued by violent dogs or hostile victims, that's what your
bb gun is for. Just make sure you don't hit them in the face since homocide
is not your intent. But whatever you do, do not let them see your face. Put
your shirt over your uglyness if you have to, but don't let anyone catch a
glimpse of your head.

      This walk through of rapping a house is a picture-perfect sequence of
events that have worked marvalously for me in the past. But here's the catch:
Everything NEVER goes right. If it does, leave me E-mail on one of the boards
I'm on and tell me how you did it. I suppose that wraps things up for this file.
Hope you have fun with it.

                          -[ExCursion]-

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I would like to thank the Death Master for letting me on his board so he will
be the first one to receive this text. hehehehe....
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phile #1 of the Nuisance series
