
 (--------------------------------------------------------------------------)
  \                                                                        /
   )             The Tales of The Unknown Elite & The Martyr              (
  (                       As told by: The Triton/DG                        )
   \                                                                      /
    )--------------------------------------------------------------------(


    Well it has come to my attention once again that we have even bigger
losers in the pirating world then The Bunnymen. Not possible? Think again,
The Legion hails a much bigger group with bigger losers!

   This file is not our style, we are capable of ragging in many more devious
and origional ways, which will soon become evident. The main reason I'm writ-
ing this file is because you might be wondering why I ragged on "The Appler"
and "The Warlock".  I think everyone should be aware of the reason so they
don't get the wrong impression, our reputation doesn't mean much at this
point and we in fact don't care if we lose a couple of supporters at this
point. However, we feel that we have to prove a point to the pirating world
and not let losers reign supreme.

   Ragging on people for no reason is unjustifiable, unfair and childish. The
Legion with their so called 15 members find it justifiable to lie and then
continue to annoy people by calling voice numbers at 3 in the morning, as
well as this they have stooped as low as putting out all those anonymous rag
wares on people. Yes folks! The Unknown Elite is actually a known loser, how
do you like that? His alias, THE MARTYR (617-848-1394), tell him what you
think of him at 3 in the morning, I'm sure you will feel better, I know I
will.

Lets begin...

   The whole story started when I was called on a conference to take rags on
myself and The Digital Gang.  The people on did not tell me who they were
when I asked. This is obvious, losers when asked who they are, are too
ashamed to admit their real alias because we might laugh too hard at them,
(not to worry losers we'll get the last laugh). They then proceeded to call
Tom E. Hawk and told him that I of all people gave them his number. Tom E.
Hawk knows better and we both came to the conclusion that we have some major
losers on the phone, we immediatly hung up seeing as we don't like talking to
losers, especially anonymous losers who don't have the balls to sign
something when they rag on someone.

   About 2 hours later after the losers had called I made a few phone
calls to some people to find out if they knew of any losers who still start-
ed conferences. I managed to find out that some of the people on the
conference where local's that lived in New Jersey, (what do you expect from
local losers!). Anyways, looking for the numbers of the losers I couldn't
find them. Thanks to Touch Tone I found one of the dudes number. A while back
someone logged on to The Motherboard as "The Triton". Touch Tone called me
and gave me the guys number who was using my handle.  I called the dude to
ask him if he was on a conference.  It was very late when I called him and
all he said was call (201) 731-7319 because he will tell you the whole story.
I can see that this person did not want to have any trouble so naturally he
gave me his friends number.  I tried calling the number but it was busy most
of the night, probably calling phone sex lines and jacking off in the closet.
I finally decided to wait till the next day to talk to the loze.  The next
day after school I tried calling that number again and still it was busy,
geez, jacking off again. Finally I decided to call back the origional guy to
ask him some questions.  He told me almost everything that he knew.  He told
me that his friend "The Warlock" was on the conference.  He also told me his
voice number since he knew this kid very well since they went to school
together.  I also asked the guy what he changed his handle to and he said
"Time Warrior". I then hung up with Time Warrior and called The Warlock's
voice number (201)-731-2618.
His mommy answered the phone and did not want to put her son on since he had
his own phone and was still busy jerking off. Warlock's mommy finally gave in
and called Little Ricky to the phone.  When Ricky got on the phone he was
shitting a brick, and choking the chicken at the same time, he could not
believe it was me, he also couldn't believe that someone would interupt him
while he was doing the over the shoulder boulder holder manoeuvre with his 2
inch penis (ibid on that one!). I realized this was the biggest loser I have
ever talked to but I had to find out why such a loser would call me. Did he
think I wanted to talk to him? Fat chance, anyways, I asked him politely why
the fuck he called me on the conference. That's as polite as I'm gonna be to
a loser who calls me at 3 in the morning! It was not hard to find out that
this guy was not only a loser but was also the biggest liar I had ever talked
too. He told me that he did not know anyone on the conference! Isn't funny
how losers always say that? Then I remembered the second time they called me
they called me on someone's three-way. I asked him who called me on 3-way, he
said that he did. I then asked him if he phreaked, he said he didn't. How the
fuck can he add the dial tone in if he doesn't phreak. This is irrelevent to
what is going on but it shows how the loser is now contradicting himself. I
then started to rag on him a little and then mommy picked up the phone,
oooooh, tough guy, needs mommy to help him out, I'll get my dog Fido to rag
on you next time loser. After telling mommy to Fuck Off, yes he did say that
to poor old mommy I decided to tell mommy what a bad little boy she had. His
mommy, Mrs. Machado wanted to listen, so I proceeded to tell her the whole
story while Little Ricky was in the background screaming bad words at his
poor old mom. Finally Little Ricky stopped acting like a big dicky and told
me that "The Appler" (312)-460-5221 started the conference. Later loze,
click.

   Not having this losers number I called one of his loser buddies in his
loser group. Yes, it's The Known Loser! The Martyr. What typical loze, Mike
wouldn't give me the number, but he dialed the number on 3-way for me.
Appler was not home, probably at Ricky's house bum-fucking both him and his
mother. I called Martyr back a few times to try again and still there was
just a answering machine.  Oh, I almost made a mistake.  Martyr was on my
3-way the whole time that I was on the phone with Warlock.

   I finally got a hold of Appler. Another loser, he denied everything and
stated that he did not start the conference. Appler tried to act stupid but
he couldn't fool me I knew he wasn't acting! Why won't any of these losers
admit their childish ways? Birth Defect? No. Jacking off too much? Possibly.
Total IQ of under 10? Ya, ya that's the ticket! Oh well another loser down,
Later Loze, click.

   Getting back to the conference and the "Unknown Elite", the losers on the
conference told myself and Tom E. Hawk that the "Unknown Elite" was going to
release a text file with our voice numbers and addresses. After hearing this
I put 2 and 2 together, Yes losers the answer is 4! But anyways I thought I
knew who the "Unknown Elite" was. I called Touch Tone and left him some mail
to call me when he gets home. Touch Tone wanted to know because he was once
ragged by the unknown elite. Touch Tone called me later that night and then
we called Appler.  I told Bart not to tell Appler that I was on the phone and
play stupid with him.  Touch Tone played along with The Appler and convinced
him that Bart and myself were enemies. After some clever questions Appler had
told him that they called me on a conference at 3 in the morning to rag on
me. Appler also admitted that The Unknown Elite, now known as The Known Loser
was The Martyr. When we tried to call The Martyr all we got his answering
machine.  Bart left a message telling him that we figured out that he was the
Unknown Elite. After The Known Loser, Mike, had denied it, (hey, of course
what else is new?) myself and Touch Tone started to rag on the loze.  Martyr
finally told us that he wrote a file once on Touch Tone and Sorcerrors
Apprentice. What kind of a lowlife would write an anonymouse rag file/ware in
the first place? Well folks, we just found out. This loser has wrote a whole
bunch of them. So if you have ever been ragged on by an anonymous rag
file/ware expect it to be by The Known Loser, The Martyr. After hearing this
don't just sit and take it, get even with the little shit! And for the
sysops, I suggest you delete low-lifes like this off of your board!

   After all the ragging by Touch Tone and myself, the loser had the balls to
say that the files were just an accident! Just an accident? Get a job loze!
When we and the rest of the pirating world stomp on your face that will be an
accident! We then tried to find out who was going to write the file with my
address and Tyron's address in it. After swearing that he will never tell he
said that he could put a stop to that file.  He told us that the real Unknown
Elite is a good friend of his and he will never tell us who he is. This is a
lot of bullshit and it is easy to see that the Unknown Elite is The Martyr.
After Bart and I threatened to fuck him over big time.  He just told us how
his family is involved in the navy, and with the police and shit. Typical 12
old speaking here. You get your faggit father from the navy to arrest us,
later loze, click!

   After talking with yet another loser from the Legion I had to talk to
someone intelligent so I called Tom E. Hawk and told him the whole story.
Tyron told me the story of how the 15 member Legion of losers had thought
that he would quit DG to join 15 losers in a group. What a joke. They claimed
that they would get him manuals and such and then after a while, they said
that he is out of the group because he was not doing anything for them. When
in fact he was never in the group. We know you losers want a real member in
your group, but don't stoop as low as saying they are in your group when they
in fact don't want to have anything to do with a bunch of losers like
yourselves.

   I guess the Appler and the Martyr and the rest of the dorks on that
conference who are in the Legion are trying to be in competition with the
Bunnymen to see who can last longer.  Martyr says if we do anything he will
release that rag file as the unknown elite with information about myself and
Tom E. Hawk.  Well, Mike, Fuck you!  Do as you want!  I am still going to
even! And Ricky you act like some big shit. Bart and myself laugh at the way
you talk and how you think we will just sit there and let you shit on us for
nothing. I am going to make sure that The Martyr gets what is coming to him,
seeing as he has hurt pirating enough with his anonymous rag files/wares.
Martyr and his friend wrote several files, so this concerns a lot of people
in pirating like The Hitman, One Eye, The Atom and others who I can't
remember off hand. After realizing what is upcoming for both The Appler and
The Martyr they went crying to Greg (Hitman), and asked for help but I dont
think Greg would stoop so low as to help out a bunch of assholes like those
two. Bart then called Greg and asked him what they said and Greg said he
doesn't think that Martyr is The Known Loser. However, Martyr admitted to us
on the phone that he and his friend are The Known Losers and we quite agreed
with him! Greg also told Bart that he also has a friend who writes text files
under the name unknown elite. I don't want to bring Greg into the situation
but, if you ever get a rag file by the unknown elite you can be sure it was
written by Martyr or his friend or Greg's friend.

   Well, that's all folks, I hope it has been entertaining, humorous, and
a learning experience for all of us. And as for the losers in the above
file, there are a lot of us in the pirating world who are going to make
your life very miserable and we are going to make sure you have a short
pirating career. We believe other pirates should not suffer from your
actions. Not once have any of the people in the Legion done anything
beneficial for pirating and we therefore conclude you guys are worthless
tools who should be wiped out of pirating so people can pirate not rag on
people.

That's about all I have to say.

Sincerely,

The Triton/DG

Thanks for the help with this file must also go to,

Touch Tone/CTC
