### Apollo BBS Archive - October 9, 1988

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    Message: 4431
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 18:18:05

    I'll bet the case she would be chosen for would be some sort of domestic
    issue.

    Message: 4432
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 18:53:45

    That seems likely, since very few cases in Arizona court have anything to do
    with foreign policy.

    Message: 4433
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 19:25:43

    Unless you count Mexican drug smuggling.

    Message: 4434
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 21:07:38

    That would be under federal jurisdiction, no?

    Message: 4435
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Jugs
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 21:55:57

    She's "Jeannie Innajug" because "Jeannie Innabottle" is just too long.
    I'm still curious, though, as to what she's doing in there.

    Perhaps she's really Barbara Eden, who for obvious reasons can't use her
    real name to log in to Apollo.

    (Then again, she may be Dan Deacon with high hopes)

    Message: 4436
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Kars / Automotive
    Subject: Sysop Mobile
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 09:44:59

            This past week I pulled my 1982 Dodge Charger (the one with the
    SYSOP plates) into my shop and took off the head and almost everything else.
    The Mopar 2.2 engine has an aluminum cylinder head, and since I suspected
    some leakage I 'flycut' .010 (ten thousands of an inch) off.  I replaced all
    the valve seals, overhead cam timing belt, and all other rubber parts
    including vacuum and water hoses.  I rebuilt (not replace) the alternator ,
    distributer and starter motor myself, just for G.P. since it was all
    apart... The extra stuff I did was match the intake and exaust ports (with
    my Dumore Grinder) to get a little more ZIP out of my motor... (so I can
    blow off Nick).... and the final touch is Sandy and I made the decrotive
    backward hood scoop functional!

           It is all back together and the engine looks and runs like BRAND new,
    and there are no leaks!  Now all that is left is to fix the horn button and
    the clock.... (Clocks always seem to fail.... I wonder why they can't take
    the vibration)

    Anyone else need their heads 'Fly Cut' ?  or some other special milling job?

    *=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

    Message: 4437
    Author: $ Daryl Westfall
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 10:29:04

    My head has already been cut, and I've been told it looks very 'fly' just as
    it is.

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    Subject:Nick

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     1:        Would you like to 'serve' in Raedonna's place.  By the way, I
     2:receive a jury summons notice 2 days before her.
     3:end

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    Message: 4440
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: last
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 13:23:11

            Do you want me to remove it from and install it also?
    I suppose it depends on how many parts it needs...like if it needs a punch
    out job with over sized pistons...or just needs rings and a valve job....

    *=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

    Message: 4441
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Cars
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 14:50:37

            Cliff also replaced the driver..........

    (sniff)

    Message: 4442
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Toddddddddd
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 14:53:25

            Sorry to have been so familiar with you ......

    Only your closest and intimate friends call you by your one 'D'.

            SSSSSSSSandy

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    Subject:Cliff

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     1:        Yeah, R&R, rings, bearings, hone.
     2:end

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    Subject:Cliff

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     1:        How much to rebuild a sluggish 77 Mopar, slant six engine?  The carb
     2:and alternator are new.
     3:                                Me
     4:end

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    Message: 1044
    Author: $ Daryl Westfall
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Ode To Bananas
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 10:32:25

    They don't have bones
    As we all know
    And grow in the tropics
    Where de big wind blow
    They're big and yellow
    And sure to please
    Just don't leave them
    Next to the old blu cheez.

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    Subject:Bananas

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     1:        Dry em out 'n smoke them.
     2:        Get a damn big buzzzzzz.
     3:        But watch out how yer drivin,
     4:        You might run into de fuzz.
     5:end

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    Message: 54539
    Author: Robert Simpson
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: I'm back
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 16:14:15

         I came down with appendicitis tuesday night, and while I was in the
    hospital, the circuit in my room blew--causing my system to crash.  I just
    got home today, so I just wanted to leave a message telling everyone I'm
    back online.

            Robert
            Black Castle 5.0  843-6782

    Message: 54540
    Author: Rod Willliams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: My father-in-law
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 17:31:20

    Hi, let me tell you about my father=in-law.  He's a truly awesome man.  Let
    me tell ya about a couple of typical weeks for him.  Like the week before
    last, for example, he was very busy.  He flew the space shuttle, which
    landed on Monday, and then he had to hurry to WAshington because it wa the
    first monday in october and he's Chief Justice of the United States and he
    had to get back to open the new term of the Supreme Court.  During the
    evenings he worked in his garage on his hobby (finding a cure for cancer)
    and tomorrow he plays quarter back for the 4-1 Los Angele Rams (the only
    game they lost was last week when my father-in-law was in space and couldn't
    play).  Anyway, this is just a small sampling of his activity in his life.
    He has achieved much.  So when he says the United States sucks and pig
    capialism must be overthrone, we can be quite certain he's right.

    Message: 54542
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Rod
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 19:32:42

    What's rule 1-10?

    Message: 54543
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Quayle
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 19:35:58

    The Dukakis campaign is running a silly ad showing "advisors" sitting around
    a table, discussing what to do about Quayle -- and one suggests dropping him
    from the ticket.
    The perfect rebuttal would be an ad showing advisors asking whether it's too
    late to drop Dukakis from the ticket, as he's clearly hurting Bentsen's
    chances.

    Message: 54544
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 21:06:44

    That's silly.  Dukakis is the presidential nominee.

    Message: 54545
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 10/08/88  Time: 22:00:56

    That's just a well-circulated rumor.

    Message: 54546
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: posts
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 00:23:36

    I finally got the joke!!!

    Cliffy opened up the board and all these weird persons signed on under
    status-users' names and could put all that drivel on without any
    problem.

    Cute idea, Cliff!  Maybe I'll borrow it sometime for CarolCom's.

    I thought the guy that signed in under Mike Carter's name was a real ghoul
    until I got to the visiting =SYSOP= (and he didn't do a very good imitation
    of you, in my opinion...The one who did Rod was fair (but what did he
    have to worry about, he's been reading the same crap for 5 years, so he
    could just fire away and fool everyone).  But the one that had Todd Reese
    swearing...by damn, he'd better watch his step. We all know Todd, and no way
    would HE talk like that. Paul?  Well, Paul could have been himself, I am not
    sure about that, but I think he underdid it a wee bit.

    =Ann=  Well, there's no one else who could do her as well as herself...she's
           for real.    JT, too!  Hey, JT - now that they have declared that
    water presents a cancer/illness danger, I have begun to imbibe a bit...well,
    maybe a little more than a bit...But, hell, if Todd Reese can swear, and
    Paul can repeat swearwords - then what do you expect?  This whole world is
    going to the place that Rod doesn't believe in....nite  Carol-> (Maybe)
       RALPH!!!! SEE WHAT *YOU* STARTED!!!!!

    Message: 54547
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 04:31:00

    Your assessment of my posts re: Cliff is incorrect, Ann. Nowhere did I use
    the word slobbering.
    Not being a lawyer, I would imagine that people on public property refusing
    to disperse upon reasonable request could be considered trespassers.
     Weren't the demonstrators at the ammo site where the guy lost his legs
    under the train about to be charged with the same thing? I seem to remember
    that they were.

    Message: 54548
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Rod Willliams
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 06:26:27

    Actually Rod's father-in-law is quite intelligent.  I stayed with him in
    Lousiana and talked with him a bit.

    Message: 54549
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Hawley
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 07:21:54

    Well, if he wasted his time talking to you, he can't be terribly bright.

    Message: 54550
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Rod/donkey
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 08:01:51

    I remember a preacher who always came to church on sunday morning riding a
    donkey that he tied up right out side the window by the alter. One day a
    fire started in church and he ran to the window and was going to jump on his
    donkey and ride off, but someone had dug a sewer hole and moved the donkey.
    The poor preacher jumped into the hole instead. Just goes to show you, some
    people don't know their ass from a hole in the ground!  Ta, ta. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 54551
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: The SYSOP Speaks
    Subject: PUBlic Board...
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 09:18:37

            Cute, but lets keep the Jokes on the COSmos SIG....
    I may create a SELf Righteous SIG, but Paul S. will be its ONLY member.

    *=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

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    Subject:Jasmine's father

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     1:        Do not forget, he was the Director of the U.S. Public Service
     2:Hospital at New Orleans for quite a few years.
     3:end

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    Subject:Apro/propaganda

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     1:        I know exactly what you are saying.  Just this morning on cable,
     2:Nickelodeon, the program for children talked about voting (phone in vote)
     3:and of course, they did not suprise me, you can vote for Dukakis or Bush.
     4:No mention was made of any of the other candidates for president.
     5:        The 'machine' controls both the Republican and Democratic
     6:Candidates.
     7:        Why not a debate, at least, including Ron Paul of the Libertarian
     8:Party.  We both know why.
     9:
    10:        I enjoy your posts.
    11:                                Rod
    12:end

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    Message: 54554
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ann's "joke"
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 15:29:53

    That is less a joke than a non sequitur.  It is clear that the protagonist's
    problem is not that he cannot tell the difference between his ass and a hole
    in the ground, but simply that, in the heat of the moment (so to speak), he
    did not check to see whether the former was where he had left it -- and
    it turned out it had been replaced with the latter.  No doubt as soon as he
    fell into the hole, he realized that his ass was not, indeed, where he
    expected to find it.

    A more accurate punchline would have been:  "Just goes to show you, some
    people, when they are under extreme duress, do not bother to check whether
    their ass has been replaced with a hole in the ground."  This would have
    been equally funny, as well.

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    Subject:last

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     1:        You need some Holy Water!
     2:end

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    Message: 368
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Annie the ASSp
    Subject: Story
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 06:27:15

    I thought the story sucked.

    Message: 369
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Annie the ASSp
    Subject: Digger
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 08:11:30

    Well, I can't imagine why. You had a very good, starring part in it! And you
    played your part well. When I thought of a 'crusty, old, nasty, grave
    digger, I thought of you first off! You are always in my stories as one of
    the stars be it about lewd sex or gory murder. Somehow, you always seem to
    fit somewhere in a story! =*--Annie the Fanny--*=

    Message: 370
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Hawley Crock Smith
    Subject: Story/last
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 09:22:25

            I was sad to see Digger killed off, and that is probably why James
    said it sucked!  I personaly think you should have just castrated him, that
    way he would not have lost anything usefull to himself.

    *=* SYSOP Cliff *=*

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    Subject:castrated

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     1:        James was castrated when he was 14 due to an unfortunate accident in
     2:Cashion, Az.  Perhaps, because of this fact, he may well be the giant penis
     3:maker.
     4:                                Rod
     5:P.S.  Hey, James, I'll loan you mine, it works.
     6:end

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    Message: 372
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Mighty SYSOPs
    Subject: James
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 15:06:33

            At least something sucked, James. You sure can't.

    Message: 373
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Annie the ASSp
    Subject: Rod/Ann
    Date: 10/09/88  Time: 15:11:53

            About this lewd sex story that Rod has so eagerly volunteered
    participate in ............
            I suppose there will have to some on hand personal experiences
    in order to get a more realistic story, huh?
            Will this lewd sex story have a plot? ----- Just curious.
            If James is going to be another main character, we could make the
    story a lewd sex comedy.
            If Ann, then an adventure.
            If Rod, then a fantasy.
            If Cliff, then an Oscar Weiner.

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    Subject:last

     1:        Yes, we need careful analysis.
     2:end

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