### Apollo BBS Archive - July 31, 1988

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    Message: 3951
    Author: $ Joe Bottomlee
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: last 2
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 04:07:56

    I think she off to see the Wizard. But she'll find out there is no place
    like home.

                                      <<< Joe >>>

    Message: 3952
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Todd/your big mouth!
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 08:37:37

    You'd better cool it Toddy! The Phantom Zone is not a nice place! I'd hate
    to see a fine fellow like yourself in that dreaded place. Better vindicate
    yourself with Cliff while you still have the chance. Ta ta. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 3953
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Michelle Reynolds
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 09:08:24

    Was that a suicide threat, or is it just wishful thinking on my part?

    Message: 3955
    Author: $ Michelle Reynolds
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Your Gt
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 12:07:45

    Wish I would have known about it.
    Next time one is being held, leave
    me a message. It would be fun to
    see you all again.

    Message: 3956
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 15:34:30

    Cliff wouldn't dare.

    Message: 3957
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: BEHOLD! .....
    Subject: PHAntom Zone...
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 17:41:44

            Guess who just checked into the "PHAntom Zone"....

    So I wouldn't dare..... indeed!

    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

    Message: 3958
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 19:07:47

    Shut up already!
    $tatus Club Bulletin Board command:JN

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    Message: 1692
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Rod/Thang!
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 08:42:02

    Then why does Zakey look SOOO guilty when I accuse him? I got his full
    confession on video tape last night -- And it' not there this morning! Ta
    ta. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 1693
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Nick/expression!
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 08:47:18

    Now I know what the expression of 'ACK' means! I'll put it in a sentence --
    --- "Nick slowly lifted the hood of Ann's Corvette. He drew in his breath
    and said 'ACK' when he saw that mighty, powerful engine and knew he'd never
    be foolish enough to race that baby"!

    The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:EC

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    Subject:RACE

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        Let's have an Official Apollo Drag Race GT.  Cliff has done
     2:racing-team work before and he could be the Official Starter.
     3:Zak could be the Official Bookie, Alan the Official Elf and James Hawley the
     4:Official Narc.  What say ye?
     5:                                Rod
     6:end

    Edit command:S

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    Message: 1695
    Author: $ Michael James
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 14:22:28

    Let's have an autocross instead.

    The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:EQ

    You chose Question ?

    Subject:AUTOCROSS

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:Okay.  First person to Death Valley and back wins a six pack of Coke (r).
     2:end

    Edit command:S

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    The message is 1696

    Message: 1697
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 16:17:16

    Maybe Scott Cubbage could arrange another road rally.

    Message: 1698
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Cubbage
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 17:18:56

    I saw him about 9 months ago at ASU.  He was working on his master's degree.

    Message: 1699
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Cubbage
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 17:47:34

            J.T. will undoubtedly brag about seeing Cubbage just a few months
    ago in California.  But I will beat him to it causing him not to boast with
    a post.

    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

    Message: 1700
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 19:08:30

    Shut up already!
    Yes, I saw Cubbage back in May at the Sherman Oaks Galleria after he heard
    me on the radio.
    The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:JN

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    Message: 53393
    Author: $ Joe Bottomlee
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ever Notice...
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 04:22:19

    ...that in every restaurant, the hardness of the butter pats increases in
    direct proportion to the foftness of the bread?

    ...that the second baby is not quite as breakable as the first?

    ...that once you could fetch a can of beer during a TV commercial? Now you
    can go out and rake the lawn.

    ...that wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo?

    ...that if you give the weeds an inch, they'll take a yard?

    ...that whenever you hear the word save, it is usually the beginning of an
    advertisement designed to make you spend money?

    ...that some folks not only keep you from being loney -- they make you wish
    you were?

    ...that the person who starts by saying, "Maybe I'm wrong," is often right?

                                    <<< Joe >>>

    Message: 53394
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Rod/article in paper
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 08:33:55

    I also read that and it's so full of holes you could use it for a sieve!
    Mankind is becoming more intolerant of each other as the years go by. All
    they need is an excuse - a cause - to turn against one another. What ever
    happened to 'Live and let live'? 'Viva la difference'? =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53395
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Bottomlee
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 09:07:21

    Foftness indeed!

    Message: 53396
    Author: $ Robert Simpson
    Category: Bulletins
    Subject: Finally!
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 09:14:42

    The Black Castle is back online!  After a month and a half of hectic
    programming, the newest version is finally working!

    843-6782  300/1200 8N1

    Bulletin Board command:EC

    You chose Chit Chat

    Subject:Drugs

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        I could be totally wrong wanting all drugs to be legalized.  It is
     2:hard to take everything into consideration, to predict the future.  It could
     3:be done on a trial basis, like legalize drugs for a year and then decide.
     4:        In any case, as long as most drugs are illegal then alcohol should
     5:be in that number.  Alcohol is as big of a killer as any of them.  Sure,
     6:alcohol is not that harmful if used in small quanities but neither is
     7:heroin.  There will always be substance abusers, food, drink, etc. and
     8:especially when there are social/economic problems so near.
     9:        I have no solutions yet I know that to continue combating the drug
    10:problem is wrecking America.  Our prisons are overflowing, many more are
    11:being built and that is not even enough.
    12:        A nation that has a large prison population shows a need to make
    13:some quick, but carefully thought out changes.
    14:end

    Edit command:S

    Saving message...
    The message is 53397

    Message: 53397
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Drugs
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 13:34:53

            I could be totally wrong wanting all drugs to be legalized.  It is
    hard to take everything into consideration, to predict the future.  It could
    be done on a trial basis, like legalize drugs for a year and then decide.
            In any case, as long as most drugs are illegal then alcohol should
    be in that number.  Alcohol is as big of a killer as any of them.  Sure,
    alcohol is not that harmful if used in small quanities but neither is
    heroin.  There will always be substance abusers, food, drink, etc. and
    especially when there are social/economic problems so near.
            I have no solutions yet I know that to continue combating the drug
    problem is wrecking America.  Our prisons are overflowing, many more are
    being built and that is not even enough.
            A nation that has a large prison population shows a need to make
    some quick, but carefully thought out changes.

    Bulletin Board command:EC

    You chose Chit Chat

    Subject:CLASSIC APOLLO

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        I just logged off Classic Apollo and it really brought back a lot of
     2:memories.  Good times.
     3:        Whatever happened to Gloria Mundi? I sure miss him.
     4:        Oh well, as JT used to say.   I am having a hard time keeping up
     5:with all the new messages on this board, my buffer runneth over.  Also it
     6:takes me at least four hours to get on.  Gee.
     7:        I'm just typing to give a few new messages to this board, ho hum.
     8:
     9:        I predict that in ten thousand years, the humanoids who are alive
    10:will look into our fossil remains and exclaim, "Damn they sure were ugly,
    11:eh!  I predict that religion will not exist, that it will no longer be
    12:necessary.
    13:        People will take one pill every day for all their needed nourishment
    14:and sleep no more than one hour.  Life expectancy will be unlimited and we
    15:will have ventured to many other worlds.
    16:        It is a good thing we can't visit other worlds now because we would
    17:infest whoever we met.  We would shoot first and ask questions later,
    18:especially if 'they' looked differently or spoke a language we didn't
    19:understand.  We would also try to get them to go to church one day a week
    20:and to help us feed the hungry.  They would reply that it is ridiculous that
    21:we cannot now feed our hungry or take care of our homeless or have peace on
    22:our little world.
    2 lines left
    23:        It's a good thing our space program is bogged down and I would
    1 line left
    24:suspect intervention from other 'worlds'.  We are not ready, we are a

    Edit command:S

    Saving message...
    The message is 53398

    Bulletin Board command:EC

    You chose Chit Chat

    Subject:ugh!

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:warring people.  We are greedy and afraid of physical death.  Death is the
     2:biggest joke around these days....it causes people to do all sorts of
     3:things, religion for one.  Babble, babble, babble....okay, this board is
     4:mine for the present....I'll type what I want.
     5:        I have already given up my stupid body,  I have accepted death to
     6:the max, it is an ever present feeling I have.  Who wants of needs to live
     7:in a world that is primarily evil?  Only the weak, the scared.  Mommy,
     8:Mommy, I don't want to die.
     9:        Give me a good world or give me death!
    10:        Twaddle, twaddle, twaddle.
    11:        I predict that someday mankind will have enough intelligence to run
    12:a fun 'ship'.  Until then, suffer baby, suffer.  It rains on the good as
    13:well as the wicked.  Where is the door?
    14:        Well, at least you have some crap to read for amusement, instead of
    15:"No new messages".   That'll be $5.
    16:        Read E.J. Montini, Columnist, Arizona Republic.  He cooks.
    17:
    18:        If everyone who logged on and left at least one message, dribble or
    19:not, I would at least have something to read.  Is everyone on vacation,
    20:humidity got you down.  Don't worry, the humidity was put here to test you
    21:and make you uncomfortable.  You will be graded by how much you don't whine.
    22:        I guess I have now done my part, now you have some heavy junk to
    2 lines left
    23:feed to your minds, if you have one, that is...ho, ho.  If I made spelling
    1 line left
    24:or other errors, tough.                    GFYC

    Edit command:S

    Saving message...
    The message is 53399

    Message: 53398
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: CLASSIC APOLLO
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 15:02:20

            I just logged off Classic Apollo and it really brought back a lot of
    memories.  Good times.
            Whatever happened to Gloria Mundi? I sure miss him.
            Oh well, as JT used to say.   I am having a hard time keeping up
    with all the new messages on this board, my buffer runneth over.  Also it
    takes me at least four hours to get on.  Gee.
            I'm just typing to give a few new messages to this board, ho hum.

            I predict that in ten thousand years, the humanoids who are alive
    will look into our fossil remains and exclaim, "Damn they sure were ugly,
    eh!  I predict that religion will not exist, that it will no longer be
    necessary.
            People will take one pill every day for all their needed nourishment
    and sleep no more than one hour.  Life expectancy will be unlimited and we
    will have ventured to many other worlds.
            It is a good thing we can't visit other worlds now because we would
    infest whoever we met.  We would shoot first and ask questions later,
    especially if 'they' looked differently or spoke a language we didn't
    understand.  We would also try to get them to go to church one day a week
    and to help us feed the hungry.  They would reply that it is ridiculous that
    we cannot now feed our hungry or take care of our homeless or have peace on
    our little world.
            It's a good thing our space program is bogged down and I would
    suspect intervention from other 'worlds'.  We are not ready, we are a
    warring people.  We are greedy and afraid of physical death.  Death is the
    biggest joke around these days....it causes people to do all sorts of
    things, religion for one.  Babble, babble, babble....okay, this board is
    mine for the present....I'll type what I want.
            I have already given up my stupid body,  I have accepted death to
    the max, it is an ever present feeling I have.  Who wants or needs to live
    in a world that is primarily evil?  Only the weak, the scared.  Mommy,
    Mommy, I don't want to die.
            Give me a good world or give me death!
            Twaddle, twaddle, twaddle.
            I predict that someday mankind will have enough intelligence to run
    a fun 'ship'.  Until then, suffer baby, suffer.  It rains on the good as
    well as the wicked.  Where is the door?
            Well, at least you have some crap to read for amusement, instead of
    "No new messages".   That'll be $5.
            Read E.J. Montini, Columnist, Arizona Republic.  He cooks.

            If everyone who logged on and left at least one message, dribble or
    not, I would at least have something to read.  Is everyone on vacation,
    humidity got you down.  Don't worry, the humidity was put here to test you
    and make you uncomfortable.  You will be graded by how much you don't whine.
            I guess I have now done my part, now you have some heavy junk to
    feed to your minds, if you have one, that is...ho, ho.  If I made spelling
    or other errors, tough.                    GFYC

    Message: 53400
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 16:15:43

    You've been spending too much time around Zak. Next thing you know, you'll
    be dressing like him.

    Message: 53401
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Apollo Tips & Tricks
    Subject: AUTO KEY
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 18:01:26

            Auto Key...or MACRO Key....  Yes, you $tatus users can have your
    very own 'MACRO' stored in your $tatus Profile.  This can be up too 76
    characters long.  My Auto key is -> *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*
    I got that by mearly typing a .  On most keyboards like IBM and
    cloans, they are next to each other.

            How do you enter and store the "Auto Key".... Easy, just go to the
    ain Menu and type  for config...  It will ask you as always about
    Nulls, Line feeds and etc., but it will also ask if you want a AUTO KEY.
    Answer that with a  or a .  If es, then it will let you type in
    your text, and then ask you if you wish to save it to your profile.
    After you save it, it can be changed at a later date if you wish to do so.

            EnJoy!

    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=**=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*
    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=**=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*
    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=**=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*
    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=**=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

    Message: 53402
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 18:36:57

    Rod, you're full of $#!+.
    Rod, you're full of $#!+.
    Rod, you're full of $#!+.

    Hmm, works pretty good, Cliff.  I'm sure it will come in handy.

    Message: 53403
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Rod
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 19:06:37

    You are hardly in a position to complain about the humidity.

    Message: 53404
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Macro key
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 19:07:29

    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!
    Shut up already!

    Message: 53405
    Author: $ Steven Carls
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: drugs
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 20:55:00

    In Amsterdam almost everything is legal.  I know many people who walked down
    the streets and felt perfectly safe.  If there were people using drugs, you
    just stayed away from them.  I was not offered any drugs while I was there,
    allthough I was in a bar drinking a beer while the guy next to me was
    smoking hash, EH???  Who knows what would happen  in the U.S. if the
    legalized drugs.  Prostitution is also legal there, EH???
     " The ATARI WILDCAT "  Steven Carls

    Bulletin Board command:EQ

    You chose Question?

    Subject:Steven/Drugs

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        Please elaborate if you can, is the Amsterdam system working, are
     2:the people who use drugs able to maintain?  Has their society fallen apart
     3:and how long have drugs been legal?
     4:                                Rod
     5:end

    Edit command:S

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    The message is 53406
    Bulletin Board command:J

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    VOID Bulletin Board command:$C

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    Message: 1480
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 09:04:46

    Sandy nudges Ann and says "I don't know if I want Dolly to come along with
    us! Do you"?
    "No, I do not! After all - WE are the token women here and I like being in
    the limelight. Don't you"?
    "Yeah" says SAndy and pointed her finger at James and Dolly talking in the
    back of the van. "Just look at the fool he's making of himself. Why he's
    getting Cheeto crunbs all over her bosum and staining her dress with drool"!
    "No, it sprinkling - Zak drools - James crumbs"!
    "OH! I see" says Sandy "but let's ditch her. OK?"
    "The first chance we get!" Says Ann.
    At that moment the earth began to tremble and shake. The little group in the
    van become very frightened. Right in front of the van, the ground started
    opening up. Something - someone was starting to emerge from the gaping hole.
    Was it Godzilla? Was it King Kong? Was it Michael Dukakis? No - No - it is
    the one and only ........

    Message: 1481
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: ...it is...
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 12:45:39

            ....... the city sewer sanitation man! "Hi, guys!" he exclaimes.
    "Need your sewer system sanitized?"
            Ann nudges Sandy and Carol and whispers to them, "Yea, James' mind."
    Nick takes shelter in the back of the van frightened of what could happen to
    him if the sanitation man ever caught sight of him in his BLACK clothing.
    How would Nick react if he was washed white? Oh, the thought makes the sweat
    drip from his brow.
            While James' attention is away from Dolly and on the city sewer
    santation man trying to clean him; Sandy, Ann, and Carol sneak over to
    Dolly. They grab Dolly, drag her to the door, and make ready to heave her on
    to the street. "Hold on there, girls!" declares Dean in his authoritative
    voice.
            "Wha.....?" remarks the token women.
            "Everything is for a reason on a Quest. Landing on Dolly is one of
    them." Dean carefully lowers Dolly. "Now," continues Dean, "you are in this
    story for a reason. Tell me, Dolly, what is the answer?"
            "Wha.....?" remarks Dolly the token female movie star in this story.
            "I need to know the answer, Dolly. What is the answer?"
            "It would help if I knew the question first," sneared Dolly.
            "Oh, dear!" exclaims Dean. "The question? Oh, my. ....... Never
    thought to bother with the question." Dean turns to the quest seekers and
    asks them what the question was.
             "Why the question is ......

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