### Apollo BBS Archive - March 25, 1990

    Mail from Zak Woodruff
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 00:42:24

    I am sorry I didn't get to see Burkhart.  How long is he in town?  I'll have
    to give him a call tomorrow.

    I think Cliff SUCKS!
    [A]bort, [C]ontinue, [I]nsty-reply or [Z]ap:Insty-reply

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:I forgot how long David said he would be here.  You'd better call.
     2:
     3:What does Cliff suck?
     4:
     5:Zee you at the Gallery.  Perhaps we could gang-bang one of those females in
     6:the sleazy black dresses.  Hmmmmm.
    Message: 64205
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Gordon Little
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:26:43

    Bravo for your messages.  Good reading.  I can't disagree.

    Message: 64206
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: COMMENT
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:27:58

    Just think of all of the deaths that occur each year from traffic
    fatalities due to a people rushing to work each morning who are not fully
    aware of their surroundings.

    It is now recognized that a certain segment of the population are more
    aware during the night hours while others can better function in the
    mornings.  We each have a biological clock that determines when our brain is
    in regression or active.

    I am what is referred to as a night person and at 6 or 7 AM I find it to
    my disadvantage to make quick decisions.  But in the late evening my mind
    flows like a rushing river.  I go through REM around 10 AM.

    Business should better recognize this feature of the human and make
    arrangements to schedule the early riser for just that, an early position
    while the night owl shouldn't be required to be on the expressway at 7 AM.

    Another thought that comes to mind are the school age children who are
    required by law to be in class at such an early hour.  I remember when I was
    enrolled in school I had the most terrible time getting up.  With each new
    grade I entered the more I fought my mother trying to get me out of bed.
    And I never liked being made to go to bed when darkness came.  I remember
    laying there, not sleepy, going over fantasies until the Sandman came.

    My point for the above paragraph is that a lot of so called education is
    being wasted on much of the youth in the early morning.

    Finally, consider the seasons of the year.  They are not taken into account
    by business.  In the winter, when one has to be at the job and functioning
    by 8 AM it is still dark.  But in the summer months it has been light for
    four hours already.

    This is just a part of what is wrong with an unbending social structure.
    The less it bends the worse it is.

    Perhaps, just perhaps this is just a part of the reason for some criminal
    behavior.  A night person finds it hard to function in a, for the most part,
    day world.  I do know for a fact that it is why I operate my own business.
    I just could never get up at 6 AM but the few jobs I had that required me to
    do so caused me to stand in the shower for half of forever or until my eyes
    opened.  I also guess this is why caffeine is such a popular & LEGAL drug.

                                            -Rod

    Message: 64208
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Bob - Hello
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:29:36

    Re: Bob, # 64200  (Hypocrite - pull the switch)

    No Bob, I won't call you a hypocrite, neither will I call you a Christian.

    But another bibical passage comes to mind, in fact several:

          Let he who is without sin flip the switch.

    And, if per chance the condemned prisoner, prior to being taken to the
    'chair' asked you to wash his feet, would you?  I am curious as to your
    response.

    Re: 64201 (Change the law)

    As previously stated I have read your Christian bible, cover to cover.
    Fact is Bob, I have read many other books on the subject.  I am not one of
    those who can quote chapter and verse like so many.  I am one who has
    grasped the root (or spirit) of the content (message).

    This I have also done in my profession and that is why I am successful.

    I did read a passage attributed to Jesus that stated he had come to change
    the law from an eye for an eye to love and forgiveness.

    "You have heard that it was said, eye for an eye, tooth for tooth but I
    say to you oppose not the injurious person; but if anyone strike thee on thy
    right cheek turn to him also the left."  (note:  The way the Christian minds
    seems to work, as evidenced by Paul Savage is this;  the bible says that if
    the right cheek is hit, turn to them the left......but Paul feels it is
    justifiable that if someone hits his left cheek first the bible says
    nothing about turning their right cheek to the attack.  It specifically
    states that the right cheek MUST be struck first and no further details are
    available.  end of note)

    To continue:  "You have heard that it was said (old law) Thou shall love
    thy neighbor and hate thine enemies.  But I say to you love your enemies
    and pray for those who persecute you."

    "And if you salute your brethren only, in what do you excell?  Do not even
    the gentiles do the same."

    Now I have a fairly old bible so yours could say almost anything.  Bible's
    change meanings every few years. That book is the most ambiguous book ever
    written to my knowledge.  People of religion will be fighting over it long
    after I am dead.
                                            -Rod

    Public & Free Bulletin Board command:J

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    *=* Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board entered *=*

    Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:O

    Beck, Jeff
    Blehm, Ralph
    Brown, Spaz
    Dee, Melissa
    Dobbs, Bob
    Dog, Beauregard
    Flash, Jack
    Hathaway, Dean
    Hawley, James
    Ianuzzi, Nick
    Lippard, Jim
    Mann, Roger
    Oudin, Ann
    Petrisko, Peter
    Taranto, James
    Williams, Rod
    Woodruff, Zak

    Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:$C

    Press  to abort

    Message: 1134
    Author: $ Jeff Beck
    Category: Dog Shit!!!
    Subject: Levi's commercials
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 02:46:38

    Well, I used to think that their 501 commercials were the worst ads on TV,
    but they have now been made almost palatable by the yuppie idiocy of the
    "Dockers" commercials.

    Message: 1135
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Dog Shit!!!
    Subject: Rod on sex
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 10:06:23

    Another great thing to do is to be making love to your wife and yell out
    your girlfriends name and then try to hold on for 5 seconds! Interesting.
                                   -=*) ANN (*=-

    Message: 1136
    Author: $ Melissa Dee
    Category: Dog Shit!!!
    Subject: Ann on Rod on SEx
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 16:43:47

    I don't get it.  Ann's version is only 3 seconds shorter.  Other than that
    they are the same.
    Both are pretty awful.

    Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:E?

    [A]nswer!                [C]hit-Chat
    [D]og Shit!!!            [E]xpired Soul
    [P]uppy Swirls           [Q]uestion?
    [R]on's thoughts         [S]hut Up Already!
    [T] & A                  [W]oofs & Wonders

    Message: 1137
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Dog Shit!!!
    Subject: last
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 18:34:43

    The world's record for holding on, I believe at last tally, is 8 seconds.

    If you want to see the names of a bunch of atheist scum, at the prompt hit
    the O key.  (That's O as in Olive Oil, not 0 as in 10.)  Scum suckers all.

    Atheists & Dogs Bulletin Board command:J

    *=* Journey to a SIG *=*

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    *=* X-Rated Cosmos Bulletin Board entered *=*

    X-Rated Cosmos Bulletin Board command:$C

    Press  to abort

    Message: 3636
    Author: $ Jeff Beck
    Category: Beyond...
    Subject: tired babblings
    Date: 03/23/90  Time: 05:20:08

    Haggard am I, an hyena; I hunger and howl.  Men
      think it laughter -- ha! ha! ha!
    There is nothing movable or immovable under the
      firmament of heaven on which I may write the
      symbols of the secret of my soul.
    Yea, though I were lowered by ropes into the
      utmost Caverns and Vaults of Eternity, there is
      no word to express even the first whisper of the
      Initiator in mine ear: yea, I abhor birth, ululating
      lamentations of Night!
    Agony! Agony! the Light within me *breeds* veils; the
      song within me dumbness.
    God! in what prism may any man analyze my Light?
    Immortal are the adepts; and yet They die -- They die
      as the Gods die, for SORROW.

    Message: 3637
    Author: $ Melissa Dee
    Category: Beyond...
    Subject: Kouz Koos
    Date: 03/23/90  Time: 09:20:35

    They said good-bye to their waiter and thanked the bus boy for wrapping up
    their food.  "I put a little something extra in there for you," he whispered
    to the man.  The man chuckled and thanked him again as she stood by the door
    waiting for him to leave.  As they walked toward the parking lot, he took
    her hand and said "I have an idea."
    She followed as he lead her to the gazebo in the middle of the small lake.
    It's purple neon light reflected in the water and in her questioning eyes.
    "What are you going to do?"  she asked as he took the keys out from the
    container that held their left overs.  He quietly unlocked the door and they
    both sliped inside.
    They walked down the steps into the main dinning area where no one could
    see them.  He laughed at the victory of his plot.  She giggled too, from
    excitement.  He placed her down on the bar counter and slowly removed her
    belt with one hand and sliped the other up her shirt to unsnap her bra.
    "Wait!  What is someone comes in?" she gasped.  "I was planning on it," he
    said and pushed her back down on the counter.  He losened her pants and
    pulled them down to her knees.  He held her hands down by her side as he
    teased her inner thighs with his tongue.  He used his teeth to pull down her
    panties and then moved up above her and took off his belt and dropped his
    pants low enough to expose his long, hard erection.  She lifted her head up
    to meet his and engulfed his cock in her soft mouth.  He was taken by
    surprise with this move and fell forward, rocking his hardness into her
    pretty mouth.  He took a leg and pushed off her pants and panties and
    watched them fall to the floor.  Suddenly, the door to the gazebo opened...

    It was Chris, their waiter!  And behind him was Edie, the cook and the short
    girl from the pantry who made their salads.  "What the HELL is going on in
    MY gazebo?!" exclaimed Edie.  Damn, the man thought, I guess our bus boy
    friend must have gotton found out.  But wait, there he is!
    "Oh, sorry you guys, when I told them that some people were going to be
    celebrating in the gazebo, they just had to join in.  You don't mind, do
    you?" And before they could say a word, they walked toward the couple,
    taking off their aprons and uniforms.  Chris held down the womans arms and
    started to kiss her neck as Edie removed the mans jeans and sucked on his
    toes.  The short girl laid ontop of the man he entered his woman and
    massaged her breasts.  Edie and the bus boy were content to sit and watch at
    first, yelling out "stroke, stroke" but soon wanting in on the action as
    well.  They went over to the group and helped them all down to the floor.
    The man and woman were the center of the groups attention and they let them
    continue to make love as the others found legs or arms to kiss and touch and
    rub up against.  The moans from the couple were getting louder and the group
    was rolling around, arms and legs entwined with each other, no one knowing
    who was who.  The woman began to tense up and the others could sence she was
    close.  Chris kissed her ears, the bus boy held down her arms and sucked on
    her fingers, Edie held the mans legs apart while the short girl lapped at
    his cock as it appeared from inside his woman.  The countdown began as the
    breathing and moaning grow stronger and louder and everyone worked at
    bringing their customers to the height of extasy.

    The screams began with the woman and then the bus boy and then Edie and
    Chris and the girl with the man outlasting them all.  As the sounds subsided
    and the wind quietly moved through the doors, they rolled over to look at
    the stars through the clear, purple ceiling.  The employees quietly picked
    up their things and left the couple to doze in naked bliss.  The bus boy
    left the key on the bar counter and Edie locked the doors behind them.  AS
    they turned to go back into the resturant, they saw a small crowd gathered
    around the entrance.  One older woman walked up to Edie and said, "I have
    been a regular here since you opened:  how come THAT isn't put on MY menu?"

    Message: 3641
    Author: $ Roger Mann
    Category: Beyond...
    Subject: last, last-1,...
    Date: 03/23/90  Time: 12:47:01

    Isn't a gazebo a small open sitting area ? And further, if it is in the
    middle of the lake, how did John and Marsha get there without getting
    soaked ?

    Message: 3642
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: roger
    Date: 03/23/90  Time: 14:03:06

    Who said they weren't soaked :-)

    Message: 3643
    Author: $ Jeff Beck
    Category: Question ?
    Subject: Melissa
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 02:36:38

    Exactly how many people are involved in this orgy?  I see that there is a
    man and a woman who have been dining at some restaurant, and who have no
    names but are described in the first of the three posts.  Then there is
    Chris, the waiter.  Next, you introduce "Edie, the cook and the short girl
    from the pantry who made their salads."  Now, is Edie simply the cook, or is
    Edie also the short girl from the pantry?  The spelling renders the name
    somewhat ambiguous.  Edie is described as "sucking on the man's toes."  I
    find homosexual toe sucking MOST distasteful.  Then there is the
    sentence "The short girl laid ontop [sic] of the man as he entered his woman
    and massaged her breasts."  Now, as I understand it, the short girl is not
    the man's woman.  His dinner companion is.  So, how is it that the short
    girl is laying on top of the man as he enters his woman?
    Then, in another part of the story, we find the sentence "The screams began
    with the woman and then the bus boy and Edie and Chris and the girl with the
    man outlasting them all.  Now, this seems to imply that there are SIX people
    involved?  And who outlasts them all: the girl, who is with the man, or the
    man?  In addition, all of these simultaneous orgasms are highly unlikely.
    The only people in the history of the world who have ever had simultaneous
    orgasms were a pair of Siamese twins living in Jersey.
    Why does the short girl lick the man's cock "as it appears from inside his
    woman" ?  This necessitates an unpleasant proximity to the other woman's
    pussy, as well as implying an alarming indifference to pussy juice,
    suggesting lesbian overtones.  Also, there is no "x" in ecstasy, unless of
    course you were making some sort of puerile pun.

    Message: 3644
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: that story
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 02:54:59

          All I can say is, next time go to the Ianuzzi Ristorante at the
    Boulders in Northern Scottsdale (See what you can do with them 'boulders.')

         For Jeff - here are the main characters:
         1. the woman
         2. the man
         3. Chris, the waiter
         4. the busboy
         5. "Edie," the *male* cook (Eddie)
         6. the pantry girl

         As for homosexual toe-sucking and "p---- juices," I think that is what
    Melissa has in mind.  Sick girl.

    Message: 3645
    Author: $ Jeff Beck
    Category: Question ?
    Subject: Melissa
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 03:31:11

    BTW, do you masturbate when you key in these stories?  I ask not for myself,
    but for Roger Mann, who apparently is too modest to ask you directly.  In
    email, he requested that I act as his proxy, saying "...the information
    would lend verisimilitude to my own masturbatory fantasies."  He also
    expressed an interest in your dildo collection.

    Did I mention that he regularly calls me up in the middle of the night,
    babbling "skimmy-skew" in voices alternating between a high pitched whine
    and a passable Marlene Dietrich impression?

    Message: 3646
    Author: $ Jeff Beck
    Category: Question ?
    Subject: men's porn
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 03:43:47

    Why is it that magazines supposedly catering to male heterosexual tastes
    feature spreads (ahem) involving lesbian sex?  Maybe I'm odd about this, but
    the concept of two women having sex with each other doesn't turn me on.  I
    would guess that most women would feel equally revolted by the concept of
    two men having sex with each other, but not being a connoiseur of women's
    porno, I have no way of telling.  Of course, I suppose I should know better
    than to take a magazine like Penthouse (which is actually one of the less
    slimey porn mags, next to playboy) as being representational of the sexual
    tastes of men in this country.  Aside from the fact that half of the stories
    are written as though the author had no concept of human anatomy, a good
    portion of them seem to cater to deviant tastes in one form or another.

    Message: 3647
    Author: $ Melissa Dee
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: Zak
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 07:05:28

    Nick's place, eh?
    Boy, he's really gonna have bad dreams now...

    Message: 3648
    Author: $ Roger Mann
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: porn macros
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 07:43:20

    It seems to me that it would save porn writers a lot of time if we could
    use nroff/troff macros instead of having to write the same stuff time
    after time. Do you think that there would be a market for this utility,
    or am I fantasizing again ?

    Message: 3649
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Jeff
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 12:58:11

    I too have noticed that men's magazines have lesbians in them and have came
    to the conclusion that this sort of thing turns most men on. Could be wrong
    though. -=*) ANN (*=-

    Message: 3650
    Author: $ Jeff Beck
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Elin Jeffords
    Date: 03/24/90  Time: 17:16:40

       John glanced up from the menu and suddenly realized, as six statuesque
    waitresses and two slim Siamese busboys sidled up to him, that he was the
    lone customer in the restaurant.  "We have a special tonight," said one of
    the waitresses, gesturing toward the steam table.    John felt slightly
    dazed as he allowed himself to be led over to the steam table.  The
    suddenness of the experience was surrealistic -- and became more so, as
    the Siamese busboys, with wicked, pouty grins, pulled out two pairs of
    rubber Vulcan ears, put them on, and began striking poses from sixties era
    Italian "B" movies.    The waitresses began removing their tops, allowing
    their ample bosoms to tumble forth.  The sound was deafening, but
    exquisite.  They all had perfect "champagne glass titties," with large
    aureolas and pert, strawberry nipples.  Actually, they were more like
    champagne flutes, and some of the pert strawberries were covered with the
    fine cilia characteristic of Fragaria virginiana.  The busboys kept trying
    to shove breadsticks into John's mouth, until he finally slapped them
    silly, and they retired to a dark corner where they attempted
    (unsuccessfully) to guess each other's sex during a game of Twenty
    Questions.  Meanwhile, the statuesque waitresses were stimulating each
    other's vulvas with an egg beater, while Pedro, the parking attendant with
    dark eyelids, had donned a lobster mitt and was slapping his own buttocks,
    muttering "Oh, senor!"  John got bored and went home.

    Message: 3651
    Author: $ Jeff Beck
    Category: Thang!
    Subject: gum for Melissa
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 02:44:30

    "Take a sniff/pull it out/the taste is gonna move you when you pop it in
    your mouth."

    Message: 3652
    Author: $ Bill Burkett
    Category: Thang!
    Subject: LEZZIE PIX
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 07:26:17

            I once heard a psychologist (or some such witch doctor)
    claim that men enjoy pictures of lesbian couples and women
    masturbating because it shows there are women "out there" who
    want sex so badly they'll even do each other and themselves.  She
    went on to say this was a power thing:  Made the men feel
    important and gave them confidence in their own sexual prowess.

    Message: 3653
    Author: $ Bill Burkett
    Category: Thang!
    Subject: FREUDIN CUM-ERCIALS
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 07:26:47

            Interpreting commercials with a Freudian mindset can be a
    lot of fun.
            Have you seen the Almond Joy/Mounds commercial featuring a
    half-man/half-woman dancer?  One side of the dancer is dressed as
    a man in a tuxedo while the other side is a woman in a ballroom
    gown.  Guess which one represents Almond Joy?  Hint:  The lyrics
    to the jingle go "Almond Joy's got nuts.  Peter Paul Mounds
    don't."

    Message: 3654
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Dandy Sandy
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 10:04:28

    I thought about you last night and wised you could have been with me - I
    went to one of those adult women's underwear and gadgit party and was it
    fun, fun, fun! Even had a male stripper that was fantastic! You should see
    some of the gadgits that I bought - I won't mention all (blush) but I did
    get this giant penis ice mold! Beware the next time you come to my house for
    a drink!
    My penis fetish sure showed! Heh heh. -=*) ANN (*=-
    P.S. You ought to see the carboard sunscreen I got for the Vette! Drool!
    Now, will I have enough nerve to put it up? Ha.

    Message: 3655
    Author: $ Melissa Dee
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 16:47:05

    And you didn't invite ME?!!
    Shezz.  Some friend YOU are! :>

    Message: 3657
    Author: $ Melissa Dee
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: Lesbian sex
    Date: 03/25/90  Time: 16:54:49

    I think men like it because they get to see women enjoying sex and there is
    no man to look at or compare themselves to (hense the self-convidence issue
    previously mentioned).
    I often wonder if this idea works the other way around.  Do women like to
    see homosexual sex?  Ann?  Sandy?

    X-Rated Cosmos Bulletin Board command:EC

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    Subject:Wow, damn

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:I hit a gold mine.  There is enough masturbation material on here to last me
     2:till midnight.  Gee, thanks gals and guys.  I'm one happy puppy.
     3:end

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    Subject:Beck/vocabulary

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     1:I'll give you $5. for your vocabulary.  I envy it.
     2:
     3:Hey, I am not bullshitting either.
     4:end

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     1:Thank you very much.

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