### Apollo BBS Archive - July 6 - 23, 1988

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    Message: 3867
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Rod???
    Date: 07/05/88  Time: 18:16:02

            Now that is the most positive I have seen a post from you in a long
    time....  I mean you were actually proud of something.... WOW!

    Cliff

    Message: 3869
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last two
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 05:59:17

     Right Cliff. That was real positive.
    Now I hope Rod gets his tongue out of his cheek before he bites it.

    Message: 3870
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Fourth
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 08:50:13

       I was at work.  Bleah.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 3871
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: JT
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 10:35:30

    You live an interesting life James. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 3872
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: the 4th
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 13:57:57

            I ran across the street in down town Phoenix to watch the fireworks
    and got ran over by a Mac truck. By time they revived me the fireworks were
    over.
            I, however, got to see quite a few stars......

    Message: 3875
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 22:26:30

    Well, that scratches my plans to be a lawyer.  But what the heck, I probably
    would have had to cheat my way through law school anyway.

    Message: 3876
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Last?
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 00:28:25

            You know how to be cruel, don't you David.

    Cliff

    Message: 3877
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Lawyers
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 13:39:11

            Only lawyers who cheated in school make the $20,000.

    Message: 3878
    Author: $ Traci Sibel
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 14:23:52

    probably the ones that cheated got the better grades, and thus the better
    job offers upon graduation....

    Message: 3879
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 15:09:34

            Let's not forget The Rest of the Story .......

    These lawyers who cheated in school and who managed to get better job offers
    upon graduation were soon found out by their bosses ......
    They then were either demoted or fired leaving them with a lower pay scale
    or out there working alone.

    Message: 3880
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 06:15:02

    Either that, or they never passed the state bar because while they were
    cheating in school, they missed all the important answers.

    Message: 3881
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 11:01:12

            That will take care of only a few, Paul.
    What about those who cheated in school then cheated on the State Bar Exams
    and then had to use deceptive practices on their clients or their bosses?
    What a life, huh?

            Speaking of cheating ..... two friends of mine spent 4 years in the
    Grad School program trying to pass the Medical Entrance Exams. They finally
    were able to pass (no thanks to their cheating) and now are in med. school.
    Knowing them, they cheated their way through. I am glad I know of these two
    because I would not want to put my life into their hands.

    Message: 3882
    Author: $ Peter Petrisko
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: LAST FIVE
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 12:46:25

    So, how about that weather we've been having?

    Message: 3883
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 13:50:29

    Hot.

    Message: 3884
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 19:40:56

    You know it's not the heat, it's the humidity.

    Hot enough for you?

    Message: 3885
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 17:58:57

    Tell me about it!

    Message: 3886
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Question?
    Subject: All of youse
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 08:38:10

    Where is everybody? This board is dead and so is the insult sig. No one even
    contributed to the story in the void today either. Sob! =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 3887
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Cliff?
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 08:42:14

    Say - I just looked and there is no 'Insult sig'! What happened to it? That
    was a great, worthwhile sig. What happened to my personal category? I was a
    star there along with 'Nick the Geek'! Are you really gonna take away our
    glory? =*--ANNIE ... .....--*=

    Message: 3888
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 17:16:40

            Take two Valiums and call Apollo in the morning ......

    Message: 3889
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Ann/INSult SIG
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 18:57:36

            Ann, don't you read the VOId and its on going story?  Did you not
    see the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP predict the INSult SIG was going to fall from
    the sky into the VOId of lost posts?  Did you not see where it said the 15th
    of this month you and James Hawley were going to spend a day in the PHAntom
    Zone...  For punishment for questioning the "Mighty SYSOP" on the fall of
    the INSult SIG I will now also condemn Nick Ianuzzi to the PHAntom Zone on
    the 15th... This will teach you!

    Message: 3890
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 03:03:46

    Just as long as YOU aren't in the PZ, everything will be fine.

    Message: 3891
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Me/PHAntom zone
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 04:13:04

    I'm going to be out of town the 15th through the 18th. If I have to serve
    time, I would rather suffer along with the rest. I suggest that the Sysop
    has his little power trip another day.

    As for you, Ann, this is your fault, and you shall suffer greatly for your
    actions.

    Message: 3892
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Mighty Sysop
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 06:49:42

    I'm SOOOOOO sorry to have disputed the Mighty Sysop's word, but at least, if
    you are gonna put me in the Zone - wait until Nick gets back! Father Nick
    needs to hear my confession and I also am curious as to what his threat is
    going to be! =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 3893
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: PHAntom Zone...
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 08:12:28

            Okay, it will be moved to the 20th.....  I may have to toss Dean
    McCarron in the Zone also to please the Gods for that extra wait.

    Boy Ann, you will never learn....

    Message: 3894
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Huh?
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 19:54:46

         What is the  Below Normal SIG?

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 3895
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Phantom Zone
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 21:26:41

    Better yet, why not put EVERYBODY in the Zone?
    By the way, Alan, be careful asking what new SIGs are.  When Cliff first
    installed the Phantom Zone SIG (previously it had just been a lock-out from
    log in) I asked what it was and -- you guessed it -- found myself there.
    This was on a Wednesday, and I was leaving for home for Thanksgiving, and
    because I was in the Zone, I didn't get to see Wednesday's messages.
    When I logged on Monday, I expected to have to sit through a whole lot of
    messages. Fortunately, there were only about 7 or 8, since Michelle Reynolds
    had zapped all the messages.
    Just a bit of BBS history.

    Message: 3896
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: A-L-A-N
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 22:55:18

            Are you below normal?  I think maybe you are since you consider
    yourself an "Elf"....  Maybe that is the SIG for you....  Hmmmmm

    Message: 3897
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Below Normal
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 01:06:18

    Does "below normal" have anything to do with "subgenius"?

    Message: 3898
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Cliff - the Zone?
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 08:39:27

    WhatdidIdonow? I am an innocent, sinless person! Pure of heart and mind. You
    want to put such a person like that in the Phantom Zone? I want it clarified
    as to why you are going to do such a dastardly deed to the one and only
    '=*--ANNIE THE FANNY--*='??!! Can the Mighty Sysop show no mercy to the
    lowly ones of his domain? Do you not remember your vow when the cos sig. was
    created - 'to NOT' retaliate in anyway for what is said or drawn on that
    sig? Do you want to be the one responsiable for trodding on my art talent,
    therefore ruining my life? Do you not want me to draw 'real life'? Or do you
    want me to be stuck with 'Still life'? =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 3899
    Author: $ Peter Petrisko
    Category: Question?
    Subject: BELOW NORMAL
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 16:49:41

    You've put up a SubGenius Sig?  It's about time, Clifford.

    Message: 3900
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Normaly normal
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 14:23:09

        I would agree that I'm a bit left of normal, but I don't know about
    below normal.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 3901
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Believe it or not!
    Subject: Closing?
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 10:06:58

            Well, It looks like the Land Lard and I may have reached a
    compromise as to the conclusion of my lease.  I must pay my rent till the
    end of August.....

            The SALE is still on....  There are lots of good buys left....
    I can still even order in from a few places if you wish to deal...such as on
    the STAR printer line, or anything in the SANYO computer line.

    SYSOP Cliff

    Message: 3902
    Author: $ Peter Petrisko
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: LAST
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 18:20:21

         This is beginning to sound like a scam.  Just what are you trying to
    pull here, Kolostow??!!??

    Message: 3903
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Peter
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 19:41:06

    Are you just figuring out the scam?  This is, after all, his 5th annual
    "Going out of Business" sale.

    Message: 3904
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last few...
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 20:22:21

            No guys, I am going out of business...  Just a few problems with
    getting out of the lease and selling off the inventory durring a hard
    summer.  I would like to report that I am getting caught up on all my bills
    and will probably not owe too much by time the doors close for good.
    I have many of you to thank...  You have really helped me out of a
    frightening position....

            Now all I need is a REAL job!

    Cliff...  your SYSOP ....

    Message: 3905
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Last....
    Subject: Job
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 05:13:01

       I hear that 7-Eleven grossly overpays its employees.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 3906
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Cliff/job
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 07:02:28

    THere's an opening at the Washington Station Post offics. They have been
    having problems ever since I retired. Seems they can't do anything without
    me!
    Go for it Cliff! Straighten them out!

    Message: 3907
    Author: $ Michael James
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Gemini Sale
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 09:21:37

    Got any dictaphone adaptors?

    Message: 3908
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Idea for thought
    Subject: Statistics
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 12:28:20

    Taken from:
                 REPORT TO THE NATION ON CRIME AND JUSTICE, 2nd ed.
                                  (J 29.2: R 29.2)

                             U.S. Department of Justice
                           Bureau of Justice Statistics
                               NCJ-105506, March 1988

    Facts about some serious crimes:
                                      HOMICIDE
    * Murder and nonnegligent manslaughter occur less often than other violent
      UCR (FBI Uniform Crime Reports) Index crimes.
    * 58% of the known murderers were relatives or acquaintances of the victim.
    * 20% of all murders in 1985 occurred or were suspected to have occurred as
      the result of some felonious activity.

                                        RAPE
    * Most rapes involve a lone offender and a lone victim.
    * About 32% of the rapes recorded by NCS (National Crime Survey) in 1985
      were committed in or near the victim's home.
    * 73% of the rapes occurred at night, between 6 p.m. and 6 a.m.
    * 58% of the victims of rape in 1985 were under 25 yrs. old.

    Message: 3909
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Idea for thought
    Subject: Statistics - 2
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 12:29:27

                                      ROBBERY
    * Robbery is the violent crime that most often involves more that one
      offender (in almost half of all cases in 1985).
    * About half of all robberies reported by NCS in 1985 involved the use of a
      weapon.
                                      ASSAULT
    * Simple assault occurs more frequently than aggravated assault.
    * Most assaults involve one victim and one offender.
                                      BURGLARY
    * Residential property was targeted in 2 out of every 3 reported burglaries;
      nonresidential property accounted for the remaining third.
    * In 1985, 42% of all residential burglaries occurred without forced entry.
    * About 37% of the no-force burglaries were known to have occurred during
      the day between 6 a.m. and 6 p.m.
                                  LARCENY - THEFT
    * Less than 5% of all personal larcenies involve contact between the victim
      and offender.
    * Pocket picking and purse snatching most frequently occur inside
      nonresidential buildings or on street locations.
    * Unlike most other crimes, pocket picking and purse snatching affect the
      elderly about as much as other age groups.

    Message: 3910
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Idea for thought
    Subject: Stats - last
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 12:31:45

                                MOTOR VEHICLE THEFT
    * The stolen property is more likely to be recovered in this crime than in
      other property crimes.

                                      ARSON
    * Single-family residences were the most frequent targets of arson.
    * 16% of all structures where arson occurred were not in use.

           Sources: BJS Dictionary of criminal justice data terminology,
            2nd ed. 1981. BJS Criminal victimization in the U.S., 1985.
                        FBI Crime in the United States 1985.

    ----I will be posting a few more interesting tid-bits. The source will be
    the same as listed in my first post.----

    Message: 3911
    Author: $ Michelle Reynolds
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Cliff
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 12:53:59

    If you want, you can work for me.

    Message: 3912
    Author: $ Steven Carls
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: CLIFF-JOB
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 13:03:30

    Somehow I do not think Cliff would be that desperate, EH???
    Well, it depends how much you are willing to pay.  I am sure Cliff is worth
    2-2.50$ an hour, and he will do anything for that much cash...
     "  The ATARI WILDCAT "  Steven Carls

    Message: 3913
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 13:52:03

                            ANYTHING?

    Message: 3914
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Idea for thought
    Subject: Stats
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 13:53:31

                      MURDER MOST OFTEN RESULTS FROM ARGUMENTS
                        OR THE COMMISSION OF ANOTHER FELONY.

         Murder was                Percent of
         a result of:              all murders
         ------------              -----------
           Total                      100%

         Arguments                     39%

         Felony                        18%
           Robbery                      9
           Narcotics                    3
           Sex offenses                 2
           Arson                        1
           Other                        3

         Suspected felony               2%

         Other motive                  18%

         Unknown motive                23%

    Source: FBI Crime in the United States 1985.

    Message: 3915
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Idea for thought
    Subject: Stats (cont.)
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 13:54:54

                    THE AVERAGE THEFT LOSS FROM ROBBERY WAS $447

             Value of                 Percent of
             stolen property          completed robberies
             ---------------          -------------------

             Less than $10                 18%
             $10 - 49                      26%
             $50 - 249                     32%
             $250 - 999                    13%
             $1,000 or more                 6%

    Source: Robbery victims, BJS Special Report, April 1987.

    * Robberies were most likely to occur in August and December and least
      likely to occur in February and April.
    * Robberies occurred most frequently on the street and next most frequently
      at or near the victim's home.
    * Victims were more likely to lose property when the incident occurred at
      home, perhaps because there usually are fewer chances for interruptions at
      home than in more public places.

    Message: 3916
    Author: $ Peter Petrisko
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: CLIFF
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 15:30:40

         I'll pay you $2.50 to kill Steven Carls.

    Message: 3917
    Author: $ Steven Carls
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Stats...
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 20:07:39

    One reason, I have been told that theft is higher in August and December are
    because of the Universities.  August is when people move to the Universities
    and are careless.  And I am not sure why its high in December, but I know in
    my Dorm theft is higher in those months.  Maybe people are stealing stuff in
    December to buy gifts, EH???
     " The ATARI WILDCAT "  Steven Carls

    Message: 3918
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 21:28:47

    Someone tried to steal my van last December.  Christmas presents, I think.

    Message: 3919
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Job for Cliff
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 23:45:46

    You could always become a locksmith.

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    Message: 1599
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: God Williams
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 09:01:19

        I don't get offended when Christians tell me that God's wrath towards
    me, as an atheist, is unbounded, and that I will suffer eternal torment in
    Hell, unless I believe in this kind, loving God.  I don't see why a
    Christian should get offended at the reverse of that.
        I admit that Rod's kids are a bit obnoxious, but what kids aren't?

        BTW, my hat is secretly a talisman of Satan, and anyone that gazes upon
    it will be eternal slaves of the Dark Prince.  After all, Elves are not
    Christian, and anything not of God is of Satan, right?

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    P.S.  Remind me to discuss Elfin mysticism sometime.  It's rather
    interesting.

    Message: 1600
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Zakey baby
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 10:49:06

     Yeah - James White has pointed it out to me my sinful ways. Hmmm .. maybe
    he's right! But I'll ask you the same question -- 'what is so sinful about
    Cliff's dong'???? I know Sandy thinks it's sacred. Can I be labeled sinful
    to talk about something that is sacred? F.Y.A.H. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 1601
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 14:22:35

            Yes.

    Message: 1602
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: the SYSOP Speaks
    Subject: This SIG
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 16:20:39

            SOme of you newer users may not realize that ANYTHING goes on this
    SIG.  No MasterCard/Visa numbers and Phone Phreaking etc. however will be
    permitted.   This SIG is to get out your inner frustrations or tell a dirty
    joke now and then.  ALL Users should be aware of this and if you find it
    offensive, ask to be removed.   Membership to this SIG has only been by
    request...and no youngsters allowed!
            I do not agree with everything that is posted here, but I guess
    a place like this is needed..... after all, we are all Adults...  Right?

                            Except maybe little Zakkie

    *=* the `Mighty` Apollo SYSOP *=*

    Message: 1603
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: ADULTHOOD
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 18:56:30

    HEY, GIVE ME A BREAK, I'M ALMOST 18.

    STUCK IN ALL CAPS...

    Message: 1604
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last..
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 20:26:36

            See what I mean.... Being stuck in all CAPS, is as bad as phone
    phreaking...  The question to ponder now is, Should I return him to the
    MUPit SIG (AKA TEEn SIG)or should we try and let him grow up here?

    Message: 1605
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 22:31:49

    Well, this IS the Cosmos SIG, so why not tell him to fuck off?

    Message: 1606
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 02:15:18

    Nah, just call him a dick.

    Message: 1607
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 13:51:32

            Nah, considering his youth ..... call him needle dick.

    Message: 1608
    Author: $ Mike Howerton
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: question
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 19:54:11

    If posting in all caps is as bad as phone phreaking, can I post about
    phone phreaking as long as I don't post it in caps???
    Just curious.

    Message: 1609
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 23:20:15

    Why not try it and see what happens?

    Message: 1610
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Computer story
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 00:27:24

                                   RRATED

         Micro  was a real-time operator and  dedicated  multi-user.  His
    broad- band protocol made it easy for him to interface with  numerous
    input/output  devices, even if it meant time-sharing.

         One  evening he arrived home just as the sun was  crashing,  and
    had   parked his Motorola 68000 in the main drive (he had missed  the
    5100 bus  that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of liveware
    admiring the  daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to himself, "She
    looks user- friendly. I'll see if she'd like an update tonight."

         Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes
    like   COBOL  and  a Prime mainframe architecture  that  set  Micro's
    peripherals  networking all over the place.

         He browsed over to her casually, admiring the power of her twin,
    32-  bit  floating  point  processors  and  inquired  "How  are  you,
    Honeywell?"  "Yes,   I am well," she responded,  batting her  optical
    fibers  engagingly  and  smoothing her console over  her  curvilinear
    functions.

    Message: 1611
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 00:29:22

         Micro  settled for a straight line  approximation.  "I'm  stand-
    along   tonight," he said.  "How about computing a vector to my  base
    address?  I'll  output a byte to eat,  and maybe we could get  offset
    later on."

         Mini  ran  a  priority  process  for  2.6   milliseconds,   then
    transmitted  "8K, I've been dumped myself recently, and a new page is
    just what I need  to refresh my disks.  I'll park my machine cycle in
    your background and  meet you inside." She walked off,  leaving Micro
    admiring her solenoids and  thinking, "Wow, what a global variable. I
    wonder if she'll like my  firmware."

         They  sat  down at the process table to a  top-of-form  feed  of
    fiche and  chips and a bucket of Baudot.  Mini was in  conversational
    mode and expanded  on ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional
    acknowledgements,    although,  in  reality,  he  was  analyzing  the
    shortest  and  least critical  path to her entry  point.  He  finally
    settled on the old "Would you like to  see my benchmark  subroutine,"
    but Mini was again one step ahead.

    Message: 1612
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 00:30:22

         Suddenly, she was up and stripping off her parity bits to reveal
    the  full functionality of her operating system software.  "Let's get
    BASIC,  you  RAM," she said.  Micro was loaded by this stage, but his
    hardware  policing   module  had a processor of its own  and  was  in
    danger  of overflowing its  output buffer,  a hang-up that Micro  had
    consulted his analyst about.  "Core," was all he could say.

         Micro soon recovered, however, when she went down on the DEC and
    opened her device files to reveal her data set ready. He accessed his
    fully packed root device and was just about to start pushing into her
    CPU  stack, when she attempted an escape sequence.

    Message: 1613
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 00:31:17

         "No, no!" she piped.  "You're not shielded."

         "Reset, Baby," he replied.  "I've been debugged."

         "But I haven't got my current loop enabled,  and I can't support
    child  processes," she protested.

         "Don't run away," he said, "I'll generate an interrupt."

         "No,  that's  too error prone,  and I can't abort because of  my
    design  philosophy."

         Micro  was locked in by this stage,  though,  and could  not  be
    turned   off.  But  she soon stopped his thrashing by  introducing  a
    voltage  spike  into his main supply,  whereupon he fell over with  a
    head crash and went to  sleep.

         "Computers," she thought as she compiled herself, "All they ever
    think of is HEX."

    Message: 1614
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last...
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 01:46:26

            A great one Lloyd...  Loved it!

    Cliffart

    Message: 1615
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 16:59:05

    Cliff,

        Stole it from Henry .  I saw it on his hard drive and grabbed it.

    (LL)oyd Pulley

    Message: 1617
    Author: $ Steven Carls
    Category: Question ?
    Subject: Elfin mysticism
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 17:26:29

    Alan, what mythos are you refering to when you talk about Elfin mysticism,
    EH???  Please discuss this interesting topic, EH???
     "  The ATARI WILDCAT "  Steven Carls

    Message: 1618
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Jokes & Ha Ha's
    Subject: K & Ritchie
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 16:54:30

                               KERNIGHAN AND RITCHIE

    On the shores of discovery, in earlier days
    All things were done the most Basic of ways;
    We once pulled together, my old friends and me,
    But life takes its course, and they've all gone to C.

    Kernighan and Ritchie
         worked for AT&T;
    Kernighan and Ritchie
         made a language they called 'C';
    Kernighan and Ritchie
         hated keywords like sin;
    Kernighan and Ritchie
         put lots of puntuation in!

    Every little symbol
         is worth a line of code;
    Compilation's finished
         before the source can load;
    A complex algorithm
         is amazingly compact --
    You can write it on a postcard,
         but you'll never read it back!

    Message: 1619
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Jokes & Ha Ha's
    Subject: Last (last)
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 16:55:13

    Don't try to read a program, if it's written in C;
    You'll never grasp the meaning - it's as cryptic as can be.
    Now everyone hates Basic, though it works for any freak --
    But Kernighan and Ritchie
         saved the software cat's mystique!

    (c) 1985 by Jack Carroll*

    Message: 1620
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 19:47:28

    Very entertaining, but it shows too much respect for the language...

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 1621
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 01:41:54

    Okay.....you didn't like that one, let's try this one .....

    (sung to the tune of "Oh Lord, Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz"
    by Janis Joplin).........

    Oh Lord, won't you buy me a PC/AT,
    The high-tech revolution is waiting for me,
    Hacked hard all my Sundays on an Apple-IIe,
    So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a PC/AT?

    Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Color Display?
    The Dungeons of Doonquest are no fun in gray,
    Got my new color joystick, I'm waiting to play,
    So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a Color Display?

    Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Microsoft Mouse,
    My life isn't complete without one in the house,
    I can live without Windows, I don't mean to grouse,
    But, oh Lord, won't you buy me a Microsoft Mouse?

    Oh Lord, won't you buy me a PC/AT,
    The high-tech revolution is waiting for me,
    Hacked hard all my Sundays on an Apple-IIe,
    So, oh Lord, won't you buy me a PC/AT?

    Message: 1622
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: l
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 01:42:15

             (c) 1986 Larry Stone

    Message: 1623
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: LLoyd
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 05:53:15

    That last one was pretty good. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 1624
    Author: $ Daryl Westfall
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Opinion
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 10:42:10

    With the exception of the last few "creative writing" posts, I think it
    would be entirely justified to rename this board to the  SIG.

    Message: 1625
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: OH LORD
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 17:56:47

    Nope, don't like that one either. MS-DOS sucks.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 1626
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 21:20:26

        Okay B. Dog, we'll keep trying till we find one that satisifies your
    high ideals....(warning this one's gonna be in 2-3 parts)....

        JOHN HENRY BROUGHT DOWN TO DATE

    When Macpherson was a little baby
    Sitting on his daddy's knee
    He picked up a slide rule and Rubber Bible* book -
    Engineerin's gonna be the game for me, MIT
    Engineerin's gonna be the game for me.

    Now the word came down for the bosses
    Gonna get us a computer here.
    Gonna get us a giant electronic brain.
    That computer can outthing an engineer, IBM
    That computer can outthink an engineer.

    Now the man who invented the computer
    Had a vacuum tube for a heart.
    Its tapes spun around, and it made funny sounds
    As soon as he typed in START, IBM
    As soon as he typed in START.

    Message: 1627
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: More on last
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 21:24:53

    Macpherson said to the super
    "All those chips don't mean a damn.
    All those buttons and tapes and yards of wire
    They cannot outdo a thinkin' man, MIT
    They cannot outdo a thinkin' man."

    Now the super said to Macpherson
    "Hey, your hands are on fire, doncha know?"
    Macpherson said to the super, "Man,
    That's only my slide rule's working glow, MIT
    That's only my slide rule's working glow."

    Now Macpherson designed fourteen bridges;
    The computer only did nine.
    But he worked so fast that his slide rule melted down
    And he said, "Looks like I'm gonna die, RIP
    Look's like I'm gonna die."

    Oh, they took Macpherson to the graveyard
    And they dug down six feet deep.
    But then he started mumblin' how much earth they'd moved
    And they saw he was a-thinkin' in his sleep, MIT
    They saw he was a-thinkin' in his sleep.

    Message: 1628
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last on Mcpherson
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 21:26:47

    Now Macpherson, he's still a-working;
    Yes, Macpherson's doin' fine.
    He threw away his old beatup slide rule and got
    The top of the HP line MIT,
    The top of the HP line.

    Copyright (c) 1983 by Lee Gold and Ted Johnstone

    * The Rubber Bible is the Chemical Rubber Company's Handbook
      of Chemistry and Physics

    Message: 1629
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 21:47:40

    Acceptable, thanks.  Or does this mean you stop?

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 1630
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: Elfin Mysticism
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 05:16:16

       I am most familiar with the Pinis' mythos, though I know a lot about the
    Tolkien mythos too.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 1631
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Real Life for sure
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:29:56

                             %%%%%%%
                           %% _   _ %%
                           %%(o)_(o)%%              The LOVELY
                          %%%   _   %%%
                          %%%   D   %%%         SANDY SYSOPETTE
                          %%% \   / %%%
                         __%%%_____%%%__        Fair of face.
                        /  %%%     %%%  \
                       /  / %%     %% \  \      Hair like Angel's wings.
                      /  /      o      \  \
                     /  /       o       \  \    A Form Devine.
                    /  /\___/   o  \____/\  \
                    \  \ \      o      / /  /
                     \  \ \     o     / /  /   (Taken from 'Real' life!
                      \  \ \____o____/ /  /     All other past drawings

    Message: 1632
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: More vindication
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:31:15

                           \\\\\\\
                         ((( _  _ )))
                          (( o  o ))

    Message: 1633
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last two
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:33:41

    I do by vow and swear to never again draw an unflattering picture of the
    Mighty Sysop and the Mighty Sysopette! Ta ta. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 1634
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Cliff
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:34:17

    See what time in the 'Zone' does to a person.

    Message: 1635
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 15:09:48

    Kind of reminds me of what happened to Steve Dallas when he was kidnapped by
    aliens.

    Message: 1636
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: #1629/B.Dog
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 15:48:46

       I don't know...does that mean you want me to stop?

    Message: 1637
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: poetry
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 18:05:08

    No, you may continue, and I will continue to comment.

    Message: 1638
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 22:09:43

    What's that thing hanging out of Cliff's pocket?

    Message: 1639
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 01:04:30

    That's not a pocket.  See, a childhood accident resulted in Cliff's penis
    being displaced by several inches, and now it comes out of his leg.  That's
    why he enjoys bouncing people on his knee.

    Message: 1640
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: For B.Dog
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 01:48:19

                             01, 10, 11, 100

    In Binary language, 00 is none,
    Which cannot be said to be new.
    Nor is it novel that 01 is one,
    But in Binary, 10 is two!

    If you ponder and strive, perhaps you'll contrive
    A matrix form which you will see
    That 101 stands for the numeral five,
    While the simple 11 equals three.

    Computer of course speak Binary perforce,
    Though we mortals the language abhor;
    We'd sooner endorse the numerical Morse
    But we're not who the language is 100.

    (c) 1988 Fracis Cartier

    Message: 1641
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: James/pocket
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 07:22:04

    There was no pocket. His pants were just too short is all. I should have
    drawn them below his knees to be able to properly cover him.
    Ta ta. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 1642
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: binary
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 10:45:12

    Best one yet, thanks!

    Message: 1643
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Jokes & Ha Ha's
    Subject: Fleas
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 14:20:15

    Since I have not seen this joke posted as Cliff said he would .......
    I will post it. If Cliff happened to post this joke earlier, excuse the
    repetition .................

            What is smaller than a teenie weenie flea?

            A flea's teenie weenie.

    (seemed appropriate at this time in light of Ann's drawing of Cliff)

    Message: 1644
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: All you assholes
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 16:30:36

    Stop this fucking mindless bullshit.

    Message: 1645
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 19:55:13

            Yes, bullshit is mindless ....... but I will have to disagree with
    you about bullshit being able to fuck.

            Get another life! Preferably one that went to a decent Health
    (another word for SEX) Education class.

    Message: 1646
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: James
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 23:47:55

    You WILL stop it yourself.

    Message: 1647
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Up Yours
    Subject: Taranto
    Date: 07/24/88  Time: 00:27:14

    If you don't like it, either start a conversation (how about one of our
    best-sellers, Philosophy?) or GET OUT OF HERE.

    Reverend Beauregard Jackson Culpeper Dog, Colonel, CSA, retired

    The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:JN

    *=* Journey to a SIG *=*

    *=* Late Night Bulletin Board entered *=*

    Late Night Bulletin Board command:$C

    Press  to abort

    Message: 1507
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 00:59:00

    Dean has been on within the past few days.  I guess he doesn't have anything
    to say to you geeks.

    Message: 1508
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 23:19:54

    Wise fellow.

    Message: 1509
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Yawn...
    Subject: Time Zones
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 23:25:45

    It is three hours later for my body, I was in EDT last week.

    Someone mentioned on another board that JT lives an interesting life.  This
    was, I think, in response to that hilarious post about getting people in DC
    to sing the national anthem on the Metro.

    JT lives an interesting life only in his dreams.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 1510
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 01:59:28

    I disagree.  If you ever hang around with him for a while, you'll find it
    can be interesting-- sometimes, downright embarrassing.

    Message: 1511
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 01:09:33

    Details?

    Message: 1512
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 23:37:32

    A New York magazine, right?

    Message: 1513
    Author: $ Dean McCarron
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Ahem. . .
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 23:46:18

    I haven't been on lately because, in the terms of Nikki Kalua,
    I "got a real life."

    Guess that means I'm not a geek anymore.

    Anyway, I've been busy with other nice activities, which is why I'm up at so
    late an hour tonight.

    Dean

    Message: 1514
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Mr. Former Geek
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 00:16:57

    brag brag brag.

    Message: 1515
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: hmm
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 23:19:17

    That's odd, because I'm up so late because I DON'T have a life.
    Well, none to speak of, anyway.  All my friends went home for the summer
    (I'm at summer school, by the way).  I've been trying to rent some new
    friends, but rates keep going up.

    Message: 1516
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Dean's life
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 23:57:10

    I thought it was just because you bought a house.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 1517
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Dean
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 00:18:20

    It seems he came into a lot of money, and can keep up with rent-a-pal rates.

    Late Night Bulletin Board command:JN

    *=* Journey to a SIG *=*

    *=* Bulletin Board entered *=*

    Bulletin Board command:RC53024-

    Press  to abort

    Message: 53028
    Author: Afro Poet
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: I is back!
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 11:35:01

    I sees you folks is still picken on mah man Rod Williams again. What fo
    you wanna do dat fo? HE sees de things as deh really are and all of
    youins have you heads in deh holes or sumpin. He doze make this old
    world a bettar place and all you alls are doing is quotting from deh
    books or sumpin. You alls notting but a bunch oh babyies that ain't
    lived long enoff to knows better. OR you is not loking around enuff.
    Alls youin is doing is making excuses for how deh world is and doing
    nuffing bout it.
    Deh only thing him and I does not agree with is God. But I is praying
    for his soul dally. But that don't means he ain't right about deh other
    stuff. Why don't youse open up yous brains and harts to what he is
    tring to tells you and quite makin dem excuses for youselves alls the
    time. Grow up!
                 Yous freind  Afro Poet - Apollos token negro.

    Message: 53030
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Bulletins
    Subject: Corbin Recall
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 14:14:43

            Anyone interested in signing the Recall Corbin petitions can do so
    at Gemini Computers or leave me E-mail.

    Message: 53031
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Ann on Equal Rights?
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 16:40:04

            Ann, when are MEN going to get equal rights?   As a rule in a
    divorce, the Woman gets almost everything and the Man pays and pays
    out his nose the rest of his working life.  (Note: Not all woman do this to
    their X-husbands).   Several years ago I watched in disbelief while my
    brother went though this.... The wife got it all....
            I believe in equal rights...  just don't forget us men!!

    Cliff

    Message: 53032
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Kafka
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 17:19:10

    From "Description of a Struggle":

                           ii  A Walk
    I walked on, unperturbed.  But since, as a pedestrian, I
    dreaded the effort of climbing the mountainous road, I let
    it become gradually flatter, let it slope down into a valley
    in the distance.  The stones vanished at my will and the
    wind disappeared.
      I walked at a brisk pace and since I was on my way down I
    raised my head, stiffened my body, and crossed my arms
    behind my head.  Because I love pinewoods I went through
    woods of this kind, and since I like gazing silently up at
    the stars, the stars appeared slowly in the sky, as is their
    wont.  I saw only a few fleecy clouds which a wind, blowing
    just at their height, pulled through the air, to the
    astonishment of the pedestrian.
      Opposite and at some distance from my road, probably
    separated from it by a river as well, I caused to rise an
    enormously high mountain whose plateau, overgrown with
    brushwood, bordered on the sky.  I could see quite clearly
    the little ramifications of the highest branches and their
    movements.  This sight, ordinary as it may be, made me so
    happy that I, as a small bird on a twig of those distant
    scrubby bushes, forgot to let the moon come up.

    Message: 53033
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Kafka
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 17:28:11

    It lay already behind the mountain, no doubt angry at the
    delay.
      But now the cool light that precedes the rising of the
    moon spread over the mountain and suddenly the moon itself
    appeared beyond one of the restless bushes.  I on the other
    hand had meanwhile been gazing in another direction, and
    when I now looked ahead of me and suddenly saw it glowing in
    its almost full roundness, I stood still with troubled eyes,
    for my precipitous road seemed to lead straight into this
    terrifying moon.
      After a while, however, I grew accustomed to it and
    watched with composure the difficulty it had in rising,
    until finally, having approached one another a considerable
    part of the way, I felt overcome by an intense drowsiness
    caused, I assumed, by the fatigue of the walk, to which I
    was unaccustomed.  I wandered on for a while with closed
    eyes, keeping myself awake only by a loud and regular
    clapping of my hands.
      But then, as the road threatened to slip away from under
    my feet and everything, as weary as myself, began to vanish,
    I summoned my remaining strength and hastened to scale the
    slope to the right of the road in order to reach in time the
    high tangled pinewood where I planned to spend the night
    that probably lay ahead of us.

    Message: 53034
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Kafka
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 17:39:03

      The haste was necessary.  The stars were already fading
    and I noticed the moon sink feebly into the sky as though
    into troubled waters.  The mountain already belonged to the
    darkness, the road crumbled away at the point where I had
    turned toward the slope, and from the interior of the forest
    I heard the approaching crashes of collapsing trees.  Now I
    could have thrown myself down on the moss to sleep, but
    since I feared to sleep on the ground I crept - the trunk
    sliding quickly down the rings formed by my arms and legs -
    up a tree which was already reeling without wind.  I lay
    down on a branch and, leaning my head against the trunk,
    went hastily to sleep while a squirrel of my whim sat
    stiff-tailed at the trembling end of the branch, and rocked
    itself.
      My sleep was deep and dreamless.  Neither the waning moon
    nor the rising sun awoke me.  And even when I was about to
    wake up, I calmed myself by saying, "You made a great effort
    yesterday, so spare your sleep," and went to sleep again.
      Although I did not dream, my sleep was not free from a
    continuous slight disturbance.  All night long I heard
    someone talking beside me.  The words themselves I could
    hardly hear - except isolated ones like "bench ... by the
    river," "cloudlike mountains," "trains ... amidst shining
    smoke"; what I did hear was the special kind of emphasis

    Message: 53035
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Kafka
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 17:40:25

    placed on them; and I remember that even in my sleep I
    rubbed my hands with pleasure at not being obliged to
    recognize single words, since I was asleep.

    Message: 53036
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Commercial
    Subject: Closing out....
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 18:49:40

            I still have lots of inventory I m

    Message: 53037
    Author: $ Dean Hathaway
    Category: Politics
    Subject: ANN/RIGHTS
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 19:17:50

    Ann says:
     'Are you really so nieve to think that Lincoln freed the black people and
      that S. Anthony really seceeded is getting woman equals rights? They made
      it a legality is all. In a sense, the blacks are still not free and the
      women definately do not have equal rights! You can do better than that
      James. =*--ANN--*= '

      The right to your own life, to use and dispose of your property as you
    see fit, and to keep or dispose of the fruits of your own labor as you see
    fit are legitimate rights. They do not depend on taking something away from
    anyone else.
      The end of slavery and the recognition of the rights of blacks and
    women to vote and own property are nothing according to you. You are only
    interested in 'rights' which are really a special permission to violate the
    rights of others. Those who say that blacks are not free and that women do
    not have equal rights are really just demanding even more of these licenses
    to violate other's legitimate rights.
      The problem is in the definition of rights. Anything which requires
    another to act in your behalf against their will is not a legitimate right,
    it is just another form of slavery.

    Message: 53039
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Apro Poet
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 20:07:48

    Thanks for the Kafka posts.

    Beautiful.

    Carol->

    Message: 53040
    Author: $ Peter Petrisko
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: BURKHART
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 21:35:43

    You used to be such a polite young man.

    Message: 53041
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 22:05:36

    I've been corrupted by the evil influences of California.
    As I recall, you used to be pretty darn polite too, politer than I ever was,
    around four years ago.  What's your excuse?

    Message: 53042
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Jim Lippard
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 22:06:30

    Oops.  I'll look for some evidence, but I was basing that on an article from
    1986.  It may have changed since.  I also should have specified personal
    income taxes.

    Message: 53043
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Alan
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 22:24:11

    Not at all.  The elimination of the minimum wage would allow low skill
    workers (who are disproportionately minorities) to enter the work force, and
    gain basic skills in how to hold down a job, thus allowing them to move up.
    Instead, we have them unemployed, and then have to tax those who are working
    to pay unemployment, and (ironically) subsidize programs such as Job Corps,
    to teach the skills they could be learning being productive in the work
    force. In South Africa, unions also advocate minimum wage.  Economist Walter
    E. Williams (author of _The State Against Blacks_) quotes the secretary of
    the racist Building Workers Union: "There is no job reservation [that is,
    jobs restricted to whites] left in the building industry, and in the
    circumstances I support the rate for the job [minimum wage] as the second
    best way of protecting our white artisans."
    Walter Williams points out he probably never would have gotten out of the
    ghetto without low-paying jobs available when he was a teenager.  Milton
    Friedman makes a similiar point when he says that it was those low-paying
    jobs that allowed his immigrant parents to gain a foothold in America.
    Let them work and be productive.  If the wage is not a "living wage,"
    government aid programs should help (currently, they mostly do not provide
    incentives to those working).
    The minimum wage is perhaps one of the most racist and anti-poor acts of
    government in the 20th century, precisely because its effects are so
    invisible.

    Message: 53044
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Paul Savage
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 00:34:28

            Was that you I heard on KYFI yesterday morn?   I did not catch the
    beginning of it, but when I turned it on it sure sounded like you...
    And the fact that person was defending the P.O.

    Cliff

    Message: 53045
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Cliff
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 05:31:56

    Yep. 'Twas I.

    Message: 53046
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: David/wage
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 08:59:42

    I agree with you re: minimum wages. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53047
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Dean/rights
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 09:03:53

    Where did you get all that from my post? I hardly think that when I made the
    statement that the blacks still arn't free and woman still do not have equal
    rights that I am 'trying to violate other's legitimate rights' (Your quote)
    In fact - your post didn't make too much sense. Could you be more specific?
    Do you think the blacks are free and woman have equal rights now? See you.
    =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53048
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cliff/men
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 09:07:54

    You are absolutely right - it is terrible that the courts award woman so
    much in divorces. It is getting better - but not much. Out of a 100 divorces
    - 85 women will come away with all the gravy. Most of the time I find it is
    because of woman's revenge! Why can't the judges see through this?
    =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53049
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 14:02:24

            Women deserve all the gravie they can get, considering what they
    had to put up with -------- MAN.

    Message: 53050
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 15:04:48

            Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

    (stay tuned here folks, see if the SYSOP's go to WAR)

    Message: 53051
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 15:14:19

            See what I mean .........

    A typical animal ---- can do nothing but growel.

    Message: 53052
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: alimony
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 16:04:42

    The courts are becoming much less willing to award large alimonies to women,
    given that many women are now in better financial positions than their
    ex-husbands.

    Message: 53053
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: WO-men
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 16:54:49

            Men are in poor financial positions because their women
    drove them there....   Women, the root of all evil.....

    SYSOP Cliff

    Message: 53054
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 17:05:19

            Typical man ....... blaming the woman for his problems.

    Message: 53055
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Joke
    Subject: Who's ON First?
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 17:25:10

    Auditor Talking To Password Administrator:
    Can you tell me your password?
    "Password".
    Yes.  What is it?
    "No.  'What' is Dan's".
    Who is Dan?
    "No it isn't.  'Who' is being used by Jeff".
    How should I know; that's personal.  OK, tell me Lois's password?
    "When"
    Right now.  I need to know who has which.
    "That's easy.  'Which' belongs to Jerry".
    I don't know.  I'm asking you.  Let me approach it another way.
    Where and Why are passwords used?
    "Yes.  By Bruce and Sheryl".
    Does anybody else use them?
    "No, they can't, they belong to Bruce and Sheryl".
    All passwords belong to Bruce and Sheryl?
    "No.  'All' passwords belong to the Applications group".
    I thought other people used them.
    "Impossible, I won't allow it".
    So far you haven't told me who has what and why I don't know.
    "Yes I did.  I told you Dan and Sheryl use them".
    You're a good Password Administrator.  You have them well guarded.
    "Thanks"

    Message: 53056
    Author: $ Dean Hathaway
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 18:15:14

     Ann asks: Do you think blacks are free and women have equal rights?

     No, blacks are not free because their legitimate rights to their own
    lives, property, and earnings are being usurped by the government just
    like yours and mine are. Do they need more special interest legislation
    or regulations intended to give them advantages at the expense of others?
    No.
     No, women do not have 'equal rights', because their legitimate rights
    as Americans are being trampled in the same stampede as everyone else's.
    As long as none of us have our basic rights, none of us can say that we
    have anything but 'equal damage'.
     For people to divide into groups and squabble over the 'right' to tax
    or regulate everyone else for their specific benefit; while their own most
    basic rights are under attack by this very process, is like rats fighting
    over poisoned cheese.
     You seem to have missed the connection between special interest 'rights'
    and the destruction of legitimate rights. Think about the policies you
    are demanding to enforce this 'equality'. Who acts on who's behalf, and
    who pays for it all? Are these policies consistent with the legitimate
    rights we should all have?

    Message: 53057
    Author: Johnny Bgoode
    Category: Politics
    Subject: ::::::::::::
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 19:11:17

       *       **********
       *       *
       *       *
       *       *
       *       *
       ******************
               *        *
               *        *
               *        *
               *        *
               *        *
       *********

    EIN VOLK * EIN DEUSCHLAND * EIN FUEHRER!!!
           ACHTUNG JUDEN!!!!

       *  *  ****  ***  *
       *  *  *      *   *
       *  *  *      *   *
       ****  ***    *   *
       *  *  *      *   *
       *  *  *      *   *
       *  *  ****  ***  *****

    Message: 53058
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 23:23:30

    Hmm, looks like a Jesse Jackson supporter.

    Message: 53059
    Author: Ayatollah Khomeini
    Category: War!
    Subject: The Great Satan!!!!!
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 01:22:27

    You American scum are going to pay for the 290 glorious martyrs of the
    Islamic Republic! Death to America! Death to Reagan! Death to the USA Navy!
    Death to all of you! F*** Hitler - he never shot at a craft of innocent and
    glorious Iranians!

    Message: 53060
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 02:39:43

    You guys are just jealous because those cheapo Silkworms of yours couldn't
    hit the broad side of a barn.

    Message: 53061
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Min. wage
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 05:03:57

       Why would an employer hire more people if he already has a sufficient
    workforce, regardless of how low wages get?

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53062
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cliff vs. Sandy
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 06:13:08

    Now, now children! Stop your squabbling on the BBS!
    Love one another!

    Message: 53063
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Dean
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 08:46:48

    You are right in saying that women & blacks have the same freedom and
    non-freedoms as anyone else, but I wasn't talking about the basics. Let me
    give you an example that just happened in the past two months -- we bought a
    house in New River that was run down. My husband re-modeled it and put it on
    the market. The woman that lived next door is (was) our realistate broker
    that sold it to us. Well, some black people were highly interested in it and
    had been out several times to look at the progress of the re-modeling. One
    day she took my husband aside and asked him if he intended to sell to those
    'niggers'? HE replied that if they had the money, he certainly would. She
    didn't say much after that, but he got busy and turned the selling over to
    her. We don't know exactly what happened, but she sold it to someone else
    (white). We are positive she made sure her neighbors were not black. Later
    we learned she really was prejudiced and absolutely hated blacks. I talked
    to her about it as to why she hated them and she said for no reason in
    particular - they just didn't belong with whites! My husband now has another
    re-modeled house finished which he is selling himself and a black family is
    really trying to buy it. The neighbors behind it and on one side are having
    fits that he might sell to niggers! The guy behind threatens to move if we
    sell to them. He asks my husband daily if these people qualify for the loan!
    Do you think that if these people were white, there would be this
    controversy? I'm always amazed at the number of people that feel this way.
    Especially in this day and age. As long as this sort of stupidity goes on -
    they are not free. Only on paper! This is the type of thing I was talking
    about. See you later. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53065
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ann/housing
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 11:11:10

            Studies done on crime rates in American neighborhoods have shown an
    interesting trend. The first blacks to move into a neighborhood are middle
    /upper income and middle class people. What follows are the lower/middle
    income and lower class blacks.
            The studies show the trend but can not explain why ......
    It has been suggested that someone should consider a study to find the
    answer.
            Generally, the first blacks to move into a neighborhood are OK
    people. It is what follows them that should concern the neighborhood.

    Message: 53066
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Cliff/Blacks
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 11:34:44

    Don't be ludicrous.  Any irresponsible person can damage a house.  To state
    that blacks bring down the property value may be true in some biggoted
    neighborhoods, but certainly not in all.  It is ILLEGAL to discriminate in
    the renting of housing.  But by your reasoning, not only do most blacks bust
    houses up, but they bring down the neighborhoods value.  So by that
    assumption alone, you shouldn't rent to them then?

    I have had Hispanics and blacks as neighbors much of my life.  There have
    been some I liked, and some I haven't.  I think that is normal for
    neighbors.  I am ashamed for the US that this kind of bigotry still exists
    here.

    Oh, what a nice little pickaninny, right?

    Message: 53067
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 12:10:34

            James, you are taking a specific example of an occurance in our
    neighborhood and generalizing on it .... shame on you.
    By the way, it is not biggoted neighborhoods that have their property values
    drop if the lower class black moves in. The property values drop in a
    neighborhood when biggoted people want to buy.

            I take it then that if a neighborhood is fighting against having a
    sewer plant next to them because it would lower their property values then
    these people are biggots? Or are against having horses stabled next to them
    are they again biggots? Money knows no color.
            If it is shown that too many blacks in a neighborhood bring down
    property values ... from a monetary stand point, I would be concerned.
           If it is shown that too many lower income housing projects bring down
    property values ... from a monetary stand point, I would be concerned.
            If it is shown that when you, James, move into a neighborhood and
    property values decrease ... from a monetary stand point, I would be
    concerned. I would like you as a friend, but would be financially better off
    if you were not my neighbor.
            Am I a biggot? I don't think so .... just being cautious in
    financial matters.

    Message: 53069
    Author: $ Peter Petrisko
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: MORTON DOWNEY JR.
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 12:55:02

         Only in this country could a loudmouth redneck have his own syndicated
    talk show.
         Kinda makes me proud to be an American, ya know what I mean, baby?

         (Not only that, but thanks to Downey, I now know how the other,
    conservative, half lives.)

    Message: 53071
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Commercial
    Subject: Super Buys
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 14:25:17

    Network Head and Screen Clean/Maintance Kits  $3.00 reg $27.95

    Network DOT MATRIX Cleaning Kit $4.00 reg $27.95

    Network Wire Cube PLUS surge protector for Modems  $7.00

    Many other *=* INCREDABLE *=* buys and GOOD deals.....

    Message: 53072
    Author: $ Dean Hathaway
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Ann/Blacks
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 15:45:11

     I am leaving on vacation now, but in two weeks I will be back and we can
    discuss this further. I would like to go into the principles involved and I
    think that this can serve much better than a random discussion of events.
     In the meantime, does being free mean being able to force others to do
    business with you against their will? Is there any remedy for misconceptions
    about people that works as well as the free market (if there were such a
    thing)? What kind of forces would make a black family pay high market for a
    home and then proceed to destroy its value through neglect?
      See You Later,
        Dean H.

    Message: 53073
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Homes
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 16:02:13

    Homeowners do not have any right to a particular property value.  When you
    buy a home, one of the risks you take is that its value will go down.  I
    have the right to sell my home to whomever I wish, regardless of the effect
    on the neighbors' property values.  Claims that blacks lower property values
    sound to me like a smokescreen for racism, anyway.

    Message: 53074
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 16:03:40

    You're right, college students taking over buildings deserve more credit
    than people like Abraham Lincoln and Susan B. Anthony.

    Message: 53075
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Hamilton
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 16:07:25

    Don't be silly.  Demand for labor is no more static than demand for anything
    else.  If you forcibly raise wages, you are going to decrease employment
    because it will be less profitable to hire employees.  The workers most hurt
    by this will be the ones with the least experience and skills, who could
    profit from a low-paid job to at least get themeselves into the work force.
    Talk of a "minimum wage" is really illusory.  Whatever the legal minimum is,
    the true minimum wage will always be 0:  You don't work, you don't get paid.
    The higher the legal minimum, the more people will earn the real minimum of
    0.

    Message: 53076
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Hey
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 16:15:33

    Did anyone hear me on KGIL this afternoon?

    Message: 53077
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Lunacy
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 19:18:35

      The U.S. Naval Observatory is conducting an experiment to
    test models that predict when the thinnest lunar crescent
    becomes visible after a new moon.  Everyone can participate.
    Thursday, July 14, 1988, offers the next opportunity to make
    a significant test of the models in North America.
      Observers are needed all across North America, Central
    America, the Caribbean, and the northern parts of South
    America - the southern observations are especially
    important.  It's easy to join: all you need is a clear, flat
    western horizon.  This is critical, since the moon will be
    best visible when it is roughly 2 to 5 degrees above the
    true (ideal) horizon.
      Observers should be outside from roughly half an hour to
    one hour after sunset.  You may use the naked eye or
    binoculars.  But try to spot the moon with the unaided eye,
    even if you do use optical aid.  If you find the crescent
    first with binoculars, it may then be relatively easy to
    pick it up without them.
      For more details, see the July 1988 issue of Astronomy or
    Sky & Telescope magazines.
      Be sure to supply all the data mentioned below so that
    your observations will be of the most use.

    Message: 53078
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Lunacy
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 19:27:19

                        Observation Report
    Name:
    Address:
    Observing location:
    Was moon visible to the naked eye?
      Was moon sighted in binoculars?
      If so, was a naked-eye sighting also made?
    Exact times when moon was observed:
    Weather conditions:
      Relative humidity:
      Temperature:
    Sky conditions near horizon:
      Clear?
      Hazy?
      Cloudy?
    Age of observer:
    Observer's eyesight:
      Glasses?  Farsighted?  Nearsighted?

    Please send this information to:
    Moonwatch
    Nautical Almanac Office
    U.S. Naval Observatory
    Washington D.C., 20392, U.S.A.

    Message: 53079
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Sandy/trends
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 06:19:32

    I have my own theory about why sometimes the value of property goes down
    when a black family comes into a neighborhood! -- some whites move - other
    whites find out a black family lives there, they don't buy in that
    neighborhood - eventually another black family moves in - this causes the
    value to go down even more-  other whites move, selling their houses at more
    of a loss - then other, lesser income blacks move in on down the line until
    they get that element of blacks (people) that don't care about how they
    live, their yards or their neighbors. This also happens in all white
    neighborhoods too, but we are talking about blacks right now. For once - I
    agree with JT - this is nothing but a smokescreen for racism! It is not the
    blacks fault for the decline of the neighborhood - but the prejudiced whites
    that move in the first place!
    A sewage plant or horses are not the same as being prejudiced against a
    race. No one wants to live next door to a sewage plant and one would not be
    prejudiced to feel that way. But to not want a black family in the
    neighborhood because the property values might go down - is! A landlord by
    law, must not deny renting to blacks - it is also the law in selling a
    house, but this goes on all the time. Right now there are three families
    interested in buying a house we have (the blacks have the most money and the
    best credit) - if we were prejudiced, we could just sell to the whites and
    nobody would know the difference and we couldn't be fined for it. We have a
    black family that moved in last year behind us and I can't see where it
    harms anything - yet some of our neighbors grumble about it. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53080
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Dean
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 06:20:06

    Bon Voyage! Have a nice fun trip. See you later. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53081
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JT/riots
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 06:37:55

    They were fighting for something they believed in. Why do you hold Lincoln
    in such high regard? He wanted to free the slaves and send them back to
    Africa. History does not prove he was not prejudiced. Because it was a good
    political move, he was for freeing them. The Civil war only freed them on
    paper and nothing else. Martin Luther King did much more than Lincoln ever
    did! As far as the 60's riots - some were justified. Even though that was a
    terrible period in America, a lot of good came out of it. Before that - we
    blindly believed in justice for all when it didn't exists. We revered our
    politicians like gods. We went along following a 'sheep's' path and not
    rocking the boat. That changed in the 60's. If you look at the history books
    - you will find a trend of people uprising against it's
    government/rulers/dictators at some point in time. The 60's was a small
    uprising in comparison to some. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53082
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: ZAP! You're dead!
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 18:24:58

       I'd better get off before I'm forcibly logged off.... not by Cliff, but
    by a lightning strike to a power line!

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53083
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: The SYSOP Speaks
    Subject: New Manual?
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 19:45:05

            Sandy and I are working on the new long awaited 7.2 Apollo BBS
    Manual.  We plan to type set it on a BLazer Printer.....

    SYSOP Cliff

    Message: 53084
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Trashy Text
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 22:54:28

         'Wafted to Mars, he fights four-armed green Tharks'
                       by Richard Wolkomir

    "I used to take out seven books at a time from the library,"
    S.J. Perelman once confessed, "and sit in the kitchen, with
    my feet in the oven, eating cookies and reading trash."
      Right move, S.J.  As a former junk-literature junkie
    myself, I know you can't kick the habit until you publicly
    admit you're hooked.  Space operas, mysteries, oaters,
    fan-at-the-bodice romances - whatever has you in its
    clutches, own up.  Recount the plots until you blush for
    shame and vow never again to abuse your mind with such
    swill.
      My own addiction began at age 8, with *Tarzan of the Apes*.
    My mind fizzed with images of chatty primates swinging on
    lianas.  I snorted heavy stuff, too, junk-lit classics like
    *Robinson Crusoe* ("Me die when you bid die, master," said
    Friday), *Treasure Island* ("Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!")
    and *King Solomon's Mines* ("'Koom! Koom!' he ejaculated").
    I OD'd on Sherlockiana, greeting strangers with statements
    like "beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a
    solicitor, a Freemason and an asthmatic, I know nothing
    whatever about you."
    (continued)

    Message: 53085
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last???
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 00:10:32

            What was that?

    Message: 53086
    Author: Brian Tuchman
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: hi there!!
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 03:24:51

    OUTRAGE OF THE ARIZONA BBS COMMUNITY:

             O L E S T R A !!!!!!

    271-4496, 300-1200, 10PM TO 10AM!!!!!
    ASK ANY SYSOP! WE ARE THE *DESPISED*!
    NOW WITH THE RUBEN ORTEGA SANDWICH
    SPECIAL! AND WITH OUR USUAL DL FILES-
    BBS LOCATIONS, HACKER NAMES AND ADDRESSES,
    WHERE THE RICH AND POWERFUL IN PHX LIVE,
    ETC

    271-4496

    Message: 53087
    Author: Ron Whisler
    Category: Bulletins
    Subject: Viet Veterans
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 11:30:55

          All Viet Vets are invited to call:
             "RAIDERS of the LOST *.ARC"   BBS
              24 hours / 7 days
               300/1200/2400 baud
                   8-N-1 parity
             PHONE :  266-5146

        All others are also invited. DOWNLOADS are available on first call.
                   - Ron Whisler  "RAIDERS of the LOST *.ARC"   BBS

    Message: 53088
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Trashy Text
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 15:01:32

    Then I hit the bottom: comic books.  Memory blurs.  I see
    gangsters tommy-gunning their way to the moral: CRIME DOES
    NOT PAY.  Mesomorphic superheroes walk city streets in
    tights and capes without anyone pointing and giggling.  A
    pathetic monster-hero rises from a city dump, the sad
    product of household chemicals and industrial wastes
    reacting with discarded cold cuts.
      On under-the-covers-with-a-flashlight-science-fiction
    expeditions, I met advanced Betelgeusean gnats speaking BBC
    English.  I popped whodunits like amphetamines.  But I'm off
    the stuff now.  After joining a Great Books Discussion
    Group, I'm into Aristotle and Kant.  It feels good to wake
    up clean.
      I think back to those lost decades when I mainlined books
    like *Tom Swift and His House on Wheels* ("Bless my opera
    glasses!  It's Tom Swift!" said Mr. Damon), while my poor
    mind orbited Alpha Centauri.  I wonder, why?
      Elvis Presley, accepting an award from the Jaycees, said
    that as a kid, he had been a dreamer and had read comic
    books.  In every story, he said, "I was the hero."  It's
    true.  Trash-lit can waft you on currents of overwrought
    prose to lurid realms of derring-do.
      In the land of Trash, villains are totally rancid, so that
    a hero like Tarzan can beat his chest guiltlessly after

    Message: 53089
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Trashy Text
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 15:09:01

    dispatching a foe, and howl the good howl.  Trashland's
    moral accounting always balances, blackguards rebuked,
    laurels to the brave.  The race is always to the Swift, Tom
    or otherwise.
      Trashland also is soothingly predictable.  When trouble
    bubbles, Clark Kent invariably pops into a phone booth to
    change into Superman, and he never bangs his elbows pulling
    off his pants.  Why Clark Kent needed phone booths to molt
    into Superman, or why Superman needed Clark, I never knew or
    cared.  Batman, Spiderman, they all had secret identities,
    just as all private eyes talked tough and ironic, and good
    cowboys eschewed black haberdashery - except Hopalong
    Cassidy, who at least had white hair.  And the heroines of
    Trashland were always stunning and chaste, although skimpy
    dressers.

    Message: 53090
    Author: $ Bill Burkett
    Category: Question?
    Subject: REAL ESTATE BBS
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 15:16:39

    Anyone know of any Valley BBSs catering to the real estate agents?

    Message: 53091
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Apro/Trashy Text
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 15:43:27

       Hey, there's someone else that's read "Tom Swift"?

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53092
    Author: Bill Salina
    Category: In search of
    Subject: QL COMPUTER
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 17:08:47

    DOES ANYONE KNOW OF A QL COMPUTER FOR SALE OR A PLACE THAT HAS ANY INFO
    ON THE QL SYSTEM.  I WOULD BE INTERESTED IN FINDING ONE AND WILL PAY
    A GOOD PRICE. THANKS

    Message: 53093
    Author: Buck Rogers
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Fusion Engines
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 21:31:44

    Regarding good old Jack Flashes comments about fusion engines,
    SO WHAT !!!!!!

    Message: 53094
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: War!
    Subject: Out to get me!
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 23:47:28

       I've finally figured it out, youse guys are out to get me!!!!!

       If I'm busy and can only log on once every 2-4 days, there are 10 umpteen
    million new messages and I don't even hardly have time to read them, much
    less respond to any.

       But if I have the time to call once a day (or even twice in one day),
    then there's almost no new messages!

    (LL)oyd Pulley

    P.S.  I'm gonna be busy tomorrow, so feel free to post a lot.

    Message: 53095
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last on Lloyd
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 00:17:53

            I don't care how dumb they all say you are.... you caught on to us
    Yes, we only post umpteen million posts when we know you can't catch up.

    Message: 53096
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Lloyd
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 02:47:28

    Looks like the dumb indian/country boy finally found us out.  Well I guess
    we couldn't pull it off forever.

    Message: 53097
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Lloyd/posts
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 05:07:52

    Yeah - that's right. Just thought I'd add another message to tease you.
    Where have you been? I thought you had defected to another BBS?! Hope you
    can log on more this summer. We need the 'token' redman to even things out.
    After all, we have the token negro (Afro Poet) the token Italian (Nick) -
    the token French woman (me) and lots of token 'crazies' (????) (You can fill
    that in - just don't put my name in there ) So stick around 'Chief Running
    Bull' - we need you. Ta ta. =*--ANN--*=
    P.S. We have a new sig. called the (I)nsult Sig. You'll love it. We're all
    so nice to each other there!

    Message: 53098
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Freedom
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 08:00:06

     Much has been said of late concerning prejudice, hatred and freedom.
     While I have always advocated liberty without prejudice or bigotry, one
    question comes to mind.
     At what cost?
     Where is the freedom of a homeowner, for example, to sell his home, at his
    price, to a buyer of his choice, when the law says that he MUST sell it to
    whoever coms up with the money?
    Where is the freedom of a white Protestant male to secure the employment of
    his choice, based on his expertise or willingness to learn, when the law
    says that an employer MUST hire according to a quota based on community
    percentages of races, etc.? Where is the freedom of a senior citizen to seek
    employment in an economy geared to young, upward motivated, ambitious and
    greedy kids?
    No freedom can ever be gained without cost, and the more the freedom, the
    dearer the cost. THe only problem seems to be that the bulk of the cost is
    bourne by those who are denied the sought after freedoms. Anybody else see
    this?

    Message: 53099
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Air Bus
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 10:40:04

            I feel Iran's Air Bus was on a suicide mission, and they should NOT
    be paid retributions by the U.S.
            Anyone else feel like this?

    Message: 53100
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 12:12:21

    Absolutely!
    Of course, I am now forced to remind you that your boy,Ronnie, has already
    said that theU.S. WILL pay hush money to the Iranian thieves.
    Oh well, what can you expect, considering the source? Just another
    super-rich Reagan faux-pa.
    (smile)

    Message: 53101
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Trashy Text
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 17:30:25

      It's all come back to me because I found a boxful of old
    books in our attic.  I pulled out *A Princess of Mars*, the
    first in Edgar Rice Burroughs' Martian series.  Again I was
    on the Red Planet, locally known as "Barsoom."  What a plot!
    John Carter, an ex-Confederate officer, battles Apaches in
    Arizona, inhales vapors in a cave and sees a red star.
    "... it was Mars, the god of war, and for me, the fighting
    man, it had always held the power of irresistible
    enchantment," he says.
      Wafted to Mars, he fights huge four-armed green "Tharks."
    But their rifles that shoot "radium" bullets 300 miles are
    of little threat to Carter, who can jump 60 feet because his
    "earth muscles" are overwhelming in Mars' weak gravity.
    Says he, "I have never regretted that cowardice is not
    optional with me."  He becomes a Thark warrior, riding
    eight-legged "thoats."  Meanwhile the Tharks capture Dejah
    Thoris, Princess of Helium.
      Naturally, she is gorgeous.  And, like all Burroughs
    heroines, she haughtily disdains the hero.  But he vows to
    save her, for the Thark idea of fun is torture.  Pondering
    their noisome ways, he gloomily notes, "In one respect at
    least the Martians are a happy people; they have no lawyers."

    Message: 53102
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Trashy Text
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 17:40:50

    Carter fights King Kong-size white apes, wrestles bellicose
    Tharks, is put in a dungeon.  "...cold, sinuous bodies
    passed over me when I lay down, and in the darkness I
    occasionally caught glimpses of gleaming fiery eyes, fixed
    in horrible intentness upon me," he says.  He broods over
    Dejah Thoris, "a woman who was hatched from an egg."  But
    Cupid wins: Carter becomes a Prince of Helium and a doting
    husband to the oviparous lady.  "In a golden incubator upon
    the roof of our palace," he reverently explains, "lay a
    snow-white egg."
      I'm clean now, ready to plunge into *The Mill on the
    Floss*.  First, though, for the sake of scholarship, I may
    just scan *The Warlord of Mars*, in which John Carter
    battles his way into the Temple of the Sun, where Dejah
    Thoris is a captive.  It's nip and tuck from the Valley Dor
    to the dread Carrion Caves, John fighting triumphantly
    beside his hatched son Carthoris.
      P.S.  Cancel my appointments.  And tell the folks at
    Great Books that something's come up.  It looks like I'll be
    missing the next meeting.

    Message: 53103
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Compensation
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 17:48:22

    Compensation for the plane shooting victims may be justified if, first, any
    question that the shooting was an Iranian setup can be laid to rest, and
    second, if the money can be given directly to the families and not go
    through the Iranian government.  Given these conditions one could argue for
    it as a humanitarian gesture, particularly if it is shown that U.S. error
    caused the shooting.

    Message: 53104
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Oudin
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 17:55:43

    The abolition movement started long before the 1960s, and culminated a
    century before with the Emancipation Proclamation.  Martin Luther King was
    certainly a luminary among civil-rights leaders, but there is a long list of
    important black leaders who preceeded him:  Booker T. Washington and
    Frederick Douglass, to name just two.  Neither of these men was a child of
    the '60s, nor was King.  King became active in the late '50s and early '60s,
    before the "'60s movement" got started.  1968, the height of hippiedom, was
    also the year in which King was murdered.  The "'60s revolution" really had
    nothing to do with anything positive; it was an exercise in self-indulgence
    and uncivilized behavior.  For ex-hippies to take credit for advances that
    happened to be taking place while they were acting like filthy animals is
    shameful.

    Message: 53105
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Paul's freedom
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 17:57:04

    Do you advocate minimum hiring quotas for old people?

    Message: 53106
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Note
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 17:57:44

    I am now homeless.  Please whine about my plight.

    Message: 53107
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 19:50:53

    Will you work for food?

    Message: 53108
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JT
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 20:30:11

    Quick!  Jesse Jackson wants to cloth and feed you, and make sure you receive
    adequate medical care!

    Message: 53109
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Princino de Marso
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 21:17:34

    Mi estas nun tre maljuna viro; g^uste kiomag^a mi ne scias. Eble mi estas
    centjara, eble pli: sed mi ne povas diri, neniam mi maljunig^is kiel aliaj
    homoj, kaj nenian infanag^on mi memoras. Lau' mia memoro c^iam mi estis
    viro--viro proksimume tridekjara. Mi aspektas nun, kiel mi aspektis antau'
    pli ol kvardek jaroj, kaj tamen, mi sentas ke ne c^iam mi povos vivi, ke en
    iu tago mi mortos lau' la vera morto, kun sekvas nenia revivigo. Mi ne
    scias, kial mi timas la morton, mi, kiu dufoje mortis, kaj ankorau' vivas:
    tamen mi sentas pri g^i la saman timegon kiel vi, kiu neniam mortis; kaj
    vers^ajne pro tiu timego pri morto, mi estas tiel konvinkita pri mia
    mortonteco.

    (the first paragraph of "Princess of Mars" by Edgar Rice Burroughs, as
    translated by K.R.C. Sturmer)

    Message: 53110
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Vote
    Subject: Yowza!
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 21:29:09

    I just took the 'correct answer' poll ahead of the contender for the title.
    Sheesh, is this some kind of opinion poll or something? Why don't people do
    a bit of research before answering the question?

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 53111
    Author: $ Pat Stoddard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Airbus
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 23:39:32

    Before I would agree with what Reagan is doing in compensating the families
    of the victims of Khomeini's suicide run, a few questions:
    1. Why did the air controller at the point of departure (Bandar Abbas, a
    civilian/military joint-use airfield) permit the plane to fly into a comat
    area? Surely the controller of an Iranian military airfield should have had
    access to military radio to pick up on what was going on?
    2. Why did the aforementioned controller(s) hold the plane for 53 minutes,
    and then let it take off?
    3. Why, out of the 5 or so flights Iran Air operates from Bandar Abbas to
    Dubai, is only 1 flight (655, on Sunday) by Airbus? The others are on a
    short-range model Boeing 727 (source: Official Airline Guide, on
    Compu$erve)?
    4. Will the world get to hear the voice recorder reportedly recovered by
    Iran?
    5. Why do some of the bodies pulled out of the Gulf not show aftereffects of
    a plane crash (burns, decapitation, etc.)? Some look like Khomeini went to
    the morgues and pulled bodies, for (attempted) immediate propaganda value.
    6. Why won't Reagan wait until the Navy finishes its investigation before
    OKing the payments?
    7. Why does Iran Air have its pilots instructed to ignore calls from US
    military warships in the region? That, in itself, is nothing but a set-up
    for something like this! Enough for one night.

    Later...                                                 Pat

    Message: 53113
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JT
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 05:40:29

    Concerning your post on compensation for the families of the "victims" of
    the Iranian thing, I would agree with you IF (and that's the ksy word) all
    the conditions you set forth are met, and those with confirmation by U.S.
    sources. The likelihood of that ever happening probably begins at ZERO and
    goes down from there.
     As to your question re: quotas. No, I do not advocate a quota for hiring
    the elderly. In fact, I wuld like to see ALL quotas abolished, and
    individuals hired on the basis of qualifications only, with no regard to
    those things for which the quota system was established.
     If I, at my age, am better qualified to fill a position, (don't worry. I
    don't want it!) than you are, then I shoul get the position. By the same
    token, if a black man is better qualified than I, then he shoul get it. Or a
    woman, or a Chinese, or anyone else, based solely on ability, education,
    experience. Not on age, sex, race, etc. We have reached a point that I think
    everyone could see coming years ago. Reverse discrimination is now the order
    of the day, and totally inept and unqualified people are being placed into
    positions for no reason other than that they fill a stupid quota. Away with
    all quotas! End of preachment for the day. I think.

    Message: 53114
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Cliff/airbus
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 09:28:00

    I believe we should because it hasn't been proven it was a suicide mission -
    although, I wouldn't put it past them. I also agree with JT - that if we do
    compensate - it must go directly to the families and not the Iranian
    government - if that's possible! I personally wished we hadn't gone there in
    the first place. Why do we think we must 'police the world'? These people
    are still barbaric and will remain so, at least in this century. Let them
    fight among themselves if that's what they wish to do. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53115
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Paul/freedoms
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 09:45:07

    I see what your saying and I agree. We have been apartment owners, rented
    house owners etc. The apt. owning was the worse. Not only can't you be
    against the blacks - but any other unsavory elements either - and I'm not
    taking about race. They can and do sue you if you so much as hint to being
    prejudiced. BUT - that can easily be gotten around. All you need do is say
    that it's rented or someone else is coming back to rent it etc. etc. Unless
    they can prove it - nothing can be done. Same with houses - selling them to
    who you choose. We never sold a house where there wasn't several people that
    wanted it. All one needs to do is sell to whom they want, providing they
    qualify. OR if it narrowed down to just a black family, you can always just
    change your mind about selling it if no papers have been signed. But the
    business owners have no such places to hide. Yes - their freedoms are
    erroded, but they bring it on themselves. If they wern't prejudiced in the
    first place, this wouldn't happen. It is one thing to own a restaurant and
    not want unsavory looking characters in your place like dirty, barefoot,
    raggity people. But it is another to judge a person unsavory simply because
    of the color of their skins. I've seen the most awful looking characters
    congregate in a bar and as soon as a black person comes in - they start
    talking about the dirty 'nigger' - and will not sit besides them. I've seen
    people refuse to shoot pool with them and will leave the place of business.
    The owner gets panicy and wants to ban blacks because he loses customers.
    It's a vicious circle. Until we all 'grow up' as a nation and put this
    stupididy aside - then our freedoms will be erroded. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53116
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: For sale
    Subject: Refrigerator
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 15:02:00

            A side by side Refrigerator with Ice Maker...  Works great..
    absolutly nothing wrong with it.  Color green (Avacodo)
    Price $300.00
            Can be seen at the store, since that is where I use it.
    While there, buy a COLD Pepsi or Root Beer.

    Some facts...
            General Electric No Frost
    21.7 Cu Ft.   66 1/2 high, 33" wide, 30 1/2" deep

    Message: 53117
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Iran/Ann?
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 17:04:54

         Ann, why should we pay them for shooting down the Iranian jetliner?
    Did they ever pay for any of their terrorist attacks on our planes?  Have
    they paid any of our Hostages for their deaths or cruel treatments?
    Or have they reimbursed any country for the sinking of their ships and the
    deaths of their crews?    HELL NO!!!!
         Personally I think the pilot was going to crash that jetliner into our
    Navy ship, since they were looking for an 4th of July incident.  Ann, as an
    ex-navy man, I am disturbed by your willingness to pay them.  I suppose if
    the Captain had not ordered the shoot down and the plane hit an sunk the
    Navy ship, you would be outraged that captain did not shoot at anything in
    its spear of influence.
         I was in the Med when the "Black September Gang" promised to sink an
    American ship.   There were many alerts and General Quarters.... and things
    happen very fast and there are only seconds to respond or you're DEAD!  And
    you could never understand this, the sailors out there are scared to death,
    and paying the Iranians would be a rather rude insult.

    SYSOP

    Message: 53118
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: News Today
    Subject: FBI vrs. Books
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 18:01:16

               Librarians ready to sue over FBI role
           by Sharon Donovan and Sam Meddis - USA TODAY
      NEW ORLEANS - Librarians are ready to sue over FBI efforts
    to turn them into spies.
      The executive board of the American Library Association -
    the USA's largest librarians' group - has recommended suing
    the FBI for details of its Library Awareness Program.
      The ALA Council - the group's policy-making arm - votes
    Wednesday.
      The group claims the program - in which the FBI seeks
    information on library patrons - violates privacy rights.
      "It is vital that people go into libraries and use the
    information without fearing the FBI is supervising and
    overseeing their use," says incoming ALA President F.
    William Summers, Florida State University library school
    dean.
      The FBI says it's fighting foreign spies.  It claims
    Soviets try to use libraries as sources.
      "This has become a significant aspect of their efforts to
    steal American military and technological data," says FBI
    spokesman Stephen Thomas.
      The FBI says it limits the program to New York-area
    scientific and technical libraries.
      Already suing: ... People for The American Way.

    Message: 53119
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Lloyd Bentsen
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 18:16:37

    Well, Governor Dickface revealed his prick, I mean his pick.

    Message: 53120
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 18:26:06

    And what a courageous choice it was too.

    Message: 53121
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: AA
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 18:42:31

    Some guy who was convicted of drunk driving is fighting his sentence on
    the grounds that he is being forced to follow a religion by attending AA
    meetings.

    Interesting tack, but it means he'll end up in jail instead of on parole...

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 53122
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Bentsen/Dukakis
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 19:09:34

    "A Dukakis-Bentsen ticket has all the drama and raw excitement of a pillow
    fight."--Bill Murchison

    Message: 53123
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Dog
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 23:36:05

    The fellow may have a point.  AA's major technique is to turn the need for
    alcohol into a need for God.

    Message: 53124
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Iran Ann
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 03:04:42

    We are not trying to "police the world" with our military presence in the
    Persian gulf. What we are trying to do is maintain free shipping in the
    area. The area is of great strategic importance, and the Soviets would love
    to control it.

    Message: 53125
    Author: $ Bill Burkett
    Category: Politics
    Subject: THE JOHN MCCAIN SHOW
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 05:48:23

         Last night I was flipping through the channels during commercials in
    the All-Star game (aren't remote controls wonderful?) and came across the
    Hon. Senator John McCain hosting a live call-in show from D.C.  The number
    was toll-free, so I called.
            A producer answered the phone and asked what my question was.  I
    said I wanted to know why Senators and Congressmen only send out newsletters
    and survey questionnaires during election years.  The producer laughed (It
    wasn't a real hearty laugh.), and said the line my call had come in on
    couldn't be routed directly to Sen. McCain so they'd have to call me back.
            I figured that'd be the last I'd hear of it, but a few minutes later
    the phone rang and it was another producer saying that I'd be on the air in
    a few minutes and to hang on.
            Sure enough, soon it was my turn.  I asked the question.  McCain
    laughed and handed out some drivel about how they try to do their best to
    keep the folks at home informed.  He did, in passing, point out that he
    wasn't up for re-election this year and wouldn't be until 1990.
            I wonder if that has anything to do with why I haven't gotten
    anything from him in quite a while.
            xxxooo

    Message: 53126
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: AA
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 06:21:35

     First the disclaimer that I am not now, nor ever have been, a member of AA.
     Having said that, I have always been under the impression that it was s
    support group, using a technique of people with like problems helping each
    other over the rough spots and supporting each other in their efforts to
    conquer their common habit. While it (the group) may recognize their need
    for higher authority, I don't believe that it is primarily God-oriented. Am
    I wrong?

    Message: 53127
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Iranian plane
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 07:06:26

       If we can prove that it was a suicide mission, then we shouldn't pay.
    But if we can't prove that, then we should, taking precautions about getting
    the money to the relatives.
       As for the "they didn't pay us for the hostages" argument:  I don't see
    why we should try to be just as foul as they are.  Just because they act
    bad doesn't mean we should try to act worse.
       And what about compensation to the non-Iranians that were on the plane?

       What bothers me is that we are getting the same excuses from the US
    government that the USSR gave when it shot down KAL 007:  "We mistook it for
    a fighter" "it was off course" "you set us up."

       The worst part about it is that we were suckered into going in there in
    the first place.  First off, the other countries that are dependent on that
    oil played "chicken" with us about who would patrol the gulf.  Someone has
    to do it, but since the other nations wouldn't put more that a token
    presence in there, Uncle Sugar stepped in.  I say we tell Japan, Germany,
    France, etc., that we are leaving, and that if they want any oil, to go
    protect it themselves.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53128
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: JT
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 07:08:34

        I have a cardboard box I will rent to you.   Only $100/month, plus $200
    security deposit.  This is a New York-style efficency apartment.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53129
    Author: $ Ralph Blehm
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: World
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 07:53:35

    The world is a wonderful place, if it did not have pepole in it.

    Message: 53130
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cliff/plane
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 08:22:04

    I can understand the men being scared to death out there, but we did shoot
    down innocent victoms - human beings that are not war mongers - families,
    children - people like you and me. I say it would not be a matter of 'losing
    face' - but it would show the world that we hate war. Besides - it has not
    been proven it was a suicide mission - but what if it was? They then used
    innocent victoms. These people need help - not as a 'guilty concious'
    payment, but help as we give in a lot of trageties! Who cares what the world
    thinks anyway. The countries that are allowed to think freely will see that
    it was a mistake anyway. The others - it will be used for propaganda! So
    what's new? I'll be willing to  bet that we havn't got all the info either.
    Our government lets us know just what it wants us to know! Who cares about
    pride in a case like this? Even if someother country shot down that plane,
    what would be the matter with us helping those people out? Have you heard
    the old saying - 'Pride comes before the fall'? =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53131
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Nick/Iran
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 08:29:58

    Then let the Soviets control it! We control other areas. If other  countries
    are not going to help us with this thing - then why not get out - we
    wouldn't get killed and we wouldn't be killing innocent victoms or guilty
    ones either? As long as we are there under these circumstances, we are in a
    vulnerable spot for another war. For what? A strip of water?! To save face?
    To prove our power? Except for World War II - we always go to war for
    some other country - more of our men are killed than the country we help
    fight for. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53132
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Politics
    Subject: We are there for....
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 09:19:03

            OIL Ann, Black Gold....  Not water!  If that area goes to the
    Russians, their war machine would have all the oil it needs, while in the
    states we would be at war with ourselves at every gas pump.  I hope you have
    not forgotton the fist fights at the pumps in 73?  A prolonged gas shortage
    would probably lead to more serious violance.

    Message: 53134
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Iranian Airbus
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 09:58:02

    There are several reasons why it should not have been shot down.  1. It
    identified itself at one point as a commercial airliner ( electronically) as
    well as an F-14 (an air-to-air fighter that Iran has not used against
    ships).  2. It was descending from a high altitude (9,000 to 12,000 feet)
    making itself vulnerable to the Vincennes.  3. Iranian F-14s are not wired
    for anti-ship missiles.  4. If they were, they would have been dropped
    during a different flight profile than the Airbus was flying. 5. The London
    Sunday Times (July 10) reported that the British Government Communications
    Headquarters determined from electronic eavesdropping that the Airbus left
    Bandar Abbas only 3 minutes behind schedule, was flying in the correct
    flight path south over the Strait of Hormuz toward Dubai in the United Arab
    Emirates, and was climbing when the Vincennes shot it down.

    The Pentagon, on the other hand, has claimed that the Airbus was outside the
    commercial corridor (which they stopped asserting last Thursday), was
    descending in attack mode, and was 27 minutes late taking off.  They have no
    comment on the Sunday Times report.

    Message: 53135
    Author: $ Peter Petrisko
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: AA/PAUL
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 12:18:24

         I went to an AA meeting with a friend about a month ago - my friend is
    agnostic.  The topic of the meeting was 'God, and my understanding of Him'.
    Each person was then asked to explain how God had helped him/her through the
    alcohol problem.  Without fail, each person started with "My name is (place
    name here), and I'm an alcoholic...", then going on to explain how wonderful
    God is and how he/she couldn't have stopped without His help.
         My friend, being agnostic, passed - he felt out of place and unwelcome
    to a certain extent.  He never went back, and few weeks later began throwing
    up blood.  We took him to the hospital (at that point he couldn't take
    himself), and he is now in a half-way house, dry, and pretty damn lucky.
         So, to answer your question - AA is very God-oriented.  In fact, they
    state you can't do it without Him.  Leaving the agnostics and atheists
    without a group to turn to for support and help.

    Message: 53136
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 14:37:44

    The agnostics and atheists now do have AA-like groups around the country
    which are nonreligious.  They are called Secular Sobriety Groups.  I don't
    think there's one in the Phoenix area.  A listing may be found in every
    issue of Free Inquiry magazine.

    Message: 53137
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: repulsive rhetoric
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 15:08:29

    The following are quotes from one of the University of Arizona's most
    prominent and offensive mall preachers, "Rob".
    ---------------------------------------------------------------
         "There's a demon spirit behind alcohol that ruins families and ruins
    lives."

         "Tell you what - you go drink your beers and be happy.  I want to go
    minister to people who are alcoholic."

         "I denounce Catholicism, I denounce any form of denominationalism
    because they have no power."

         "You can go to the biggest church in the world, and it won't make you a
    Christian."

         "Well sir, you'll have to eat those words one day...he will probably
    damn you."

         "Without Christ, your life amounts to zero.  You could be the greatest
    astronaut, you could have a 4.0.  But your life amounts to zero!"

         "I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to heaven.  If you just
    want to go six feet under, more power to you."

    Message: 53138
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: more
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 15:15:20

         "Anybody who doesn't belive in Jesus, in my translation, is a WIMP."

         "Do you believe in premarital sex?"
         *crowd of students applauds*
         "Then you're a bunch of wimps."

         [referring to sex, drugs, and other forms of hedonism : ]  "It's like a
    donkey, and a carrot...like Mick Jagger says - I can't get no satisfaction."

         "You're all going to hell without Christ!"

         "Self-righteousness is a sin!"

         [In response to several students' attempts to refute preacher through
    logic : ]  "Man thinks he's so SMART."

         "You're limited.  But God is not limited."

         "Everything this University represents will one day be useless."

         "What is Life?  Do you think all that life is is wearing nice clothes,
    driving fast cars and living in the foothills?"
          *mass applause*

    Message: 53139
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: more
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 15:19:10

         "Most heart problems are the results of broken hearts."

         "I would only take morphine if it was needed to perform an operation."

         "I am an ambassador of GOD!  yecca juliakol gushanga dooprat rolly
    rolly bohikeyag..."  (tongues)

         "All your wisdom, understaning, ego, education, I.Q. isn't going to
    bring you one inch closer to God."

    --------------------------------------------------------------------
    You're all invited to come down to Tucson and join the fun.

    Message: 53140
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Woodruff
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 16:06:56

    None of those quotes is terribly amusing or obnoxious.  Surely you can do
    better.

    Message: 53141
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 16:07:13

    Better for the United States to be the world's policeman than for the Soviet
    Union to be the world's jailer.

    Message: 53142
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Petrisko/AA
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 16:07:32

    What a terrible story.  I could use a drink after that one.

    Message: 53143
    Author: Christian Wright
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Religion
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 16:12:25

    What do you guys have against religion, anyway?

    Message: 53144
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Viruses
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 18:40:23

    Protecting Sites from VAX Virus, by Henry Schneiker:
      In an earlier column I wrote on viruses, I talked about
    how easy it was for your computer system to catch a computer
    virus.  It caused a lot of concern and generated some
    interesting mail.  It also prompted a call from a local VAX
    site with some 90 Macintoshes networked together.  No sooner
    had the article come out than this site caught what I'll
    call the roach virus, so named because it displayed a roach
    on the screen while activating itself.
      The roach virus appears to infect the MacServe networking
    software and shows itself when the client portion of
    MacServe is installed after a boot operation.  The
    copy-protection scheme used with the MacServe software made
    it impossible to prevent the infection of the master disks
    because they must be write-enabled when the software is
    installed.  This allowed the virus to infect all the master
    disks.  Until all the master disks can be replaced and the
    entire network purged of all suspect files, this site will
    operate at reduced efficiency because of its reliance on the
    network.  The roach virus must be completely purged from the
    network before the servers can be used reliably.
    (continued)

    Message: 53145
    Author: Scott Strange
    Category: Bulletins
    Subject: SYSOP
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 19:57:58

    I am a computer analyst with a large company and i see that there
    is a lot of copywrited software on this BBS.  The sysop and the
    owner of this BBs is responsible for staying within the copywrite
    laws of the united states of america.  If these laws are not observed
    you can be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
    some examples are
       procom
    pcdesk
    adjram 30
    nbc
     these are all copywrited.......respect the work of professionals
    dont let other than freeware, shareware, or public domain on your bbs's
    You can go to jail or be fined severely for these acts

    Message: 53146
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: last...
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 20:05:18

            The software on this BBS is PUBlic Domain and shareware... such as
    Procom... ,PCDESK, and ADJRAM... these are the shareware versions ....
    Someone should tell the expert Mr Scott Strange that 'Copywrited' doesn not
    mean it can't be Public Domain or Shareware.  People 'Copywrite' software so
    that others can't put their name on it for fame or claim....

    SYSOP

    Message: 53147
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JT
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 21:10:31

    Sorry James.  The desire to amuse you was there, as that is my prime goal in
    life, but it may have been that I just didn't put my heart into it.  I
    predict the following messages will not satisfy your desire for
    obnoxiousness either.  You are always welcome, of course, to submit
    suggestive criticism so that we all may learn from your years of experience
    in this area.  Thanks.  Have a nice day.  <:-)

    Message: 53148
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Religion
    Subject: Ingersoll
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 21:11:56

          "When I became convinced that the Universal is natural -- that all
    the ghosts and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my
    soul, into every drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of
    freedom.  The walls of my prison crumbled and fell, the dungeon was
    flooded with light and all the locks, bolts, bars, and manacles became
    dust.  I was no longer a servant, a serf or a slave.  There was for me
    no master in all the wide, wide, world -- not even in infinite space.  I
    was free -- free to think, to express my thoughts -- free to live to my
    own ideal -- free to use my own faculties, all my senses -- free to spread
    imagination's wings -- free to reject all ignorant and barbarous legends
    of the past -- free from popes and priests -- free from all the "called"
    and "set apart" -- free from sanctified mistakes and holy lies -- free
    from the fear of eternal pain -- free from the winged monsters of the
    night -- free from devils, ghosts, and gods.  For the first time I was
    free."          -Robert G. Ingersoll, "The Great Infidel"

          Ingersoll liked to recall the wise thought of Epicurus: "Why
    should I fear death?  If I am, death is not.  If death is, I am not.
    Why should I fear that which cannot exist when I do?"

    Message: 53149
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Religion
    Subject: Garfield
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 21:12:35

          The divorce between Church and State ought to be absolute.  It
    ought to be so absolute that no Church property anywhere, in any
    state, or in the nation, should be exempt from equal taxation; for if
    you exempt the property of any church organization, to that extent you
    impose a tax upon the whole community.  -President James A. Garfield
          (in a speech to Congress on June 22, 1874)

    Message: 53150
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Burkett
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 21:45:08

    John McCain and his wife Cindy (sp?) where on the morning show at KTAR 620
    the other day.  John was on long distance from D.C.  I called in on the 800
    number (at work) at approximately 9:30.  I was going to ask McCain his
    response to Mecham claiming that he (McCain) didn't have the integrity or
    the honesty to be vice president.  Well, after waiting, and waiting, and
    listening to feeboo questions by other callers, it finally came to the time
    where there was about 5 minutes left.  Instead of putting me on the line,
    they chose to use the last five minutes having John and Cindy talk about
    their special little family and changing diapers.

    That's ok, but the moderator could have come back on the line and told me
    they didn't have enough time for me.  Instead, I just received a click and a
    dial tone.

    Oh well.

    Message: 53151
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: everyone
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 01:02:14

    Thanks for all the laughs tonite....

    I needed them.    J.T. won, however, with the pillow quote.

    Carol->

    Message: 53152
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Scott
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 01:02:29

    You're strange!

    Message: 53153
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Petrisko
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 01:10:43

    I don't think your version of an AA meeting was very accurate.

    They will go as far as a HIGHER POWER helping a person, and if that HIGHER
    POWER happens to be Atheism, I am sure they would applaud anyway.

    I have heard many individuals mention God's help and I know that one of the
    steps mentions the Higher Power, but moderators, etc. are supposed to be
    very impartial in this area.

    The meetings are very interesting...what cracks me up is that the room is so
    blue with smoke than even those of us who *do* smoke, are unable to take it.

    However, not enough good can be said for the great work that AA has done and
    is doing. They also, of course, have Al-Anon (which is for anyone who even
    knows someone with a problem with alcohol) and Teen-Anon, which is great for
    the younger victims of someone else's drinking. That's the worst part about
    alcoholism - anyone involved in any way with an alcoholic, soon becomes a
    victim to some degree or another.

    Carol->

    Message: 53154
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Zak
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 04:09:11

    You sure can babble.

    Message: 53155
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 05:25:19

    The "old saying" you quoted is a Biblical misquote that should read "Pride
    goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall". COmes from
    the book of Proverbs.
     As to the plane incident, the more I hear and see about the condition and
    position of the bodies of the "victims", the more convinced I become that
    the whole thing was nothing more than an Iranian set-up, designed and
    executed by the sickos in charge of propagande for that misbegotten part of
    the world for the express purpose of making the "great Satan" look bad. I
    think it was a poor attempt that fools nobody who has eyes to see, and not
    one thin dime should be paid by us to anybody. THe incident should be
    investigated tothe fullest extent possible, and exposed to the world as the
    hoax it was.

    Message: 53156
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Zak Woodruff
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 05:39:22

    Just one question Zak.
     If you found this sidewalk preacher so "repulsive", how come you stayed
    long enough to hear all those quotes? Did he tie you to a lamppost?
     While a more mature Christian woul probably have stated some things
    differently, what he said was basically Scriptural. All finite knowledge
    will one day pass away in the light of infinite wisdom and knowledge. That,
    of course, should stop noone from seeking all the knowledge he can gain. All
    things, however, shoul be kept in proper balance lest one becomes puffed up
    with his own importance and not realize his insignificance in the light of
    God's totality. Before ridiculing and knocking the attempts of another, it
    might be wise to seek the truth (or falsity) of what he is doing. You may
    just find that he has something you need or will find helpful. Have a good
    day.

    Message: 53157
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JT/# 53141
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 06:31:14

    That statement I don't think would matter much to the people who got killed,
    their families or the people (their's and our's) getting maimed in this
    'little skermish'! It is up to Iran who they choose to 'jump in bed with' -
    not us to make that choice for them and that goes for any other country too.
    =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53158
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cliff/Scott Strange
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 06:33:33

    Never mind him Cliff - he didn't even spell Procomm right! Jeeze - some
    expert! My Procomm even has an opening message stating that it is public
    domain software. This guy must have his head some place he shouldn't!
    =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53159
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Paul/war
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 06:44:02

    What's such a 'hoax' about almost 300 people getting killed? So the Iranians
    'jazzed' it up a bit for sympathy - that still does not alter the facts. We
    seemed to have an attitude of 'so what' re: this thing - yet if there were
    Americans on that plane - we'd all be raising holy hobs about it. Is our
    blood any better than theirs? I have hardly heard one sympatheic word for
    those people that died. Have we became an unfeeling nation? Who cares who
    killed them - they are stone cold dead - why not help their families where
    we can? This nation is a proud one - but ego is another thing! =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53160
    Author: $ James White
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Woodruff
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 09:07:09

    I imagine Ingersoll knows now how much his supposed "freedom" cost him.
    About Garfield - the power to tax is the power to destroy.  If you want
    absolute separation, then you are shooting yourself in the foot by insisting
    on taxation, for that gives one (the state) control over the other (the
    church) - it didn't work the other way around in the middle ages, and it
    won't work that way now.
    James>>>

    Message: 53161
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Nick
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 11:24:44

    Nick, you are so right!  I can babble, indeed.  Just watch my next message.

    Message: 53162
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Paul Savage
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 12:03:23

    Paul, you have a way of bending things.  Yes, I (A) watched a mall preacher
    do his stuff and (B) hold the opinion that his form of rhetoric is
    valueless.  You imply that there is an inconsistency in maintaining an
    exposure to and awareness in something which you find questionable.  I see
    no inconsistency.  "Were you tied to a lamppost?"  No.  The preachers were
    interesting.  The responses of the students who argued with them were
    interesting.  The whole PHENOMENON was interesting.  Also, I needed the
    quotes for a paper I was working on which compared various styles and
    methods of persuation.
        I have, as you suggested, sought the truth of what he is doing, and come
    up empty-handed.
        "All things should be kept in proper balance lest one becomes puffed up
    with his own importance and not realize his insignificance in the light of
    God's totality."
        A few questions.  Proper balance between what and what?  Insignificance
    in the light of God's totality?  You are saying that if there is no balance
    between X and X, one will begin to believe he actually has some sort of
    universal SIGNIFICANCE?!  That is the message I'm hearing from you.  And
    what it all comes down to is a statement against humanism, something you
    find violently wrong.

    So, while you claim it "wise to seek the truth" of the mall preacher, you
    are no more open-minded to opposing viewpoints than I am, in fact we are
    both stuck like glue to our beliefs.  See the hypocrisy?  Have a good day.

    Message: 53163
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Viruses
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 17:53:30

    Source unknown
      Where did this virus come from?  Nobody has been able to
    track down the source.  A few users of this network are
    heavily into public-domain software (also known as shareware
    or freeware) and bring disks containing this stuff into work
    on a regular basis.  The most likely scenerio is that one of
    those programs contained the infection.  And, as is typical
    with viruses, no one noticed anything wrong until roaches
    appeared on the screen and files became corrupted.  But by
    then, it was too late - the entire network had been
    infected.
      The roach virus was more sophisticated in that it was not
    an INIT (initialize input/output) resource visible with
    simple tools; rather, it infected by modifying the system
    code directly and permanently, as would be the case with a
    VAX virus.  It also took advantage of the copy-protection
    scheme to further itself - yet one more case in which copy
    protection hurts the paying customer.
      The VAX data-center manager has several problems to deal
    with, and they all revolve around security issues.  One of
    the biggest problems with security difficulties is secrecy.
    There are two major views on security.  The first is,
    "Ignorance is bliss."  If nobody says anything about a known
    security problem, the problem won't spread (as fast).

    Message: 53164
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Viruses
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 18:03:19

    The problem is that there is a very large underground
    grapevine that contains all sorts of information on
    everything you always wanted to know about breaking and
    entering computer systems but didn't know who to ask.
      For instance, *2600*, a magazine put out by the
    telephone-freak community (ever heard of a blue box for
    making free telephone calls? - that's them) recently ran an
    article on the VAX/VMS security system.  Did you know that
    the local high school kid can buy the "VAX/VMS Guide to
    System Security" by mail and learn all about how to break
    into your system?  The point is, hiding your head in the
    sand will not make the problem go away.  Just think of it
    this way: The other guy is more highly motivated to track
    down this information than you are because he has more to
    gain.  Which brings us to the other major view of security:
    The information is already public, so tell the people who
    will be affected so that they can fix the problem - then hope
    they fix the problem before the bad guys use it against
    them.  Which view do you think is best?
    ((to be continued))

    Message: 53165
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 18:30:10

    Yeah, what's a little genocide if it keeps us out of war?

    Message: 53166
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Scott Strange
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 18:30:47

    This lousy BBS doesn't have any copyrighted software.  If you want to trade
    copyrighted software, just leave me mail and we can arrange for something.
    I have a pretty good collection.

    Message: 53167
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Iranian airliner
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 19:53:20

       I still remember how many people said that the Soviets' shooting down
    KAL 007 *couldn't* be an accident, since how could anyone mistake a jetliner
    for a fighter plane?  Where are all those people now?

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53168
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 20:01:35

            But that flight 007 was NOT in a war zone where a battle was going
    on, and the Soviet Jet had the jetliner in visual sight!  Not just a radar
    blip.

    Message: 53169
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 21:12:59

    Right, instead it was in Soviet airspace, not in a commercial air lane.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 53170
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: KAL 007
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 21:52:03

    The Captain of the Vincennes had about five minutes to decide whether to
    fire.  The Soviets had more than two hours.
    The Captain of the Vincennes had good reason to believe he was going to be
    attacked -- shooting was occuring at the time, and there was the precedent
    of the Stark.  The Soviets did not have such a reason.
    The Soviets were in visual contact with the aircraft, and had the option of
    approaching it with jets and forcing it to land.  The Vincennes did not.
    The Soviet Union refused to pay any sort of retribution to the families of
    those killed.  The U.S. has made that offer.

    A better comparision would be, perhaps, to compare the mistake of the
    fighter which shot the Stark to this case.  While we were angry, we did not,
    to quote Ann, raise "holy hobs."
    By the way, Ann, if you haven't heard "one sympatheic word" for those killed
    on the airplane, it's simply because you haven't been paying attention.
    Ronald Reagan and the two presidential contenders, Bush and Dukakis, all
    expressed their sorry for those killed.  But all said that the Captain was
    justified.
    I also agree with Paul that there are a lot of unanswered questions.  Was
    this a set up?  A kamikaze attack?  We may never know.

    Message: 53171
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: blips
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 02:28:52

    Aegis radar does not show a blip at all. Instead it shows a graphic "target"
    along with a line showing the path of the object. All objects tracked have
    the same size target, so you can't distinguish a large object from a small
    one by using the Aegis system.

    Message: 53172
    Author: Michael Carlisle
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JUSTIFIED
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 04:57:39

    The cap'n of the V did only what any red blooded American would do:

    SHOOT FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER...

                                                        MICHAEL

    Message: 53173
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Ann/dead Iranians
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 06:21:06

    What you seem to have missed, Ann, are the testimonies of those people who
    have had much exerience in such things who opinioned that there was no way
    those "bodies" could have survived an airplane explosion at 9000 feet and
    appeared as whole and fully clothed as they did in the water. THere was NO
    evidence of burns, decapitation, limb severance, blowing away of the
    clothing, or any number of other things that would have been present if they
    had indeed gne through a blast and then fallen that distance.
    The hoax comes in (and not even a very good one) in the very strong
    possibility that those bodies were already dead, and were planted, or
    "salted" in the water by the Iranian government to generate international
    sympathy. The saddest part of the whole mess is that Mr. Senile in our White
    House seems to have bought it.
    You forget, Ann, that we are not dealing with normal, rational people when
    we deal with Khomenei (sp) and his crowd, but with some of the wildest, most
    fanatical terorists the world has ever known. Rule of thumb here is to put
    nothing beyond their ability to perform if it will cast dark shadows on the
    "great Satan".
     Why should we pay one red cent, or feel any sympathy (other than  for
    any grieving family) for a bunch of stiffs they pulled out of their local
    morgues and dropped (from the side of a boat) into the water just to create
    an international incident? "Are we an unfeeling nation?" Heck no! We should
    be having lots of feelings right now. Contempt. Disgust. Hatred. Maybe a
    little anxiety that some of our international friends may be led by someone
    as stupid and senile and gullible as Reagan. Pay? NO WAY!

    Message: 53174
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Zak
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 06:34:44

    I see no hypocrisy in consistency Zak. Hypocrisy would enter the picture if
    I said one thing and lived another.
     You are correct when you say that I don't allow much room in my thinking
    for opposing or different views, but that isn't hypocrisy, at least in my
    understanding of the word. It is simply that I have found a system of
    beliefs with which I am comfortable, and which I am convinced is the right
    belief. I do recognize that there are others who do not share my beliefs,
    and, while I may consider them wrong do not necessarily hold them up to
    ridicule or try to shame them. I do occasionally plant a seed here and
    there, hoping that one of like beliefs will com along and water it so that
    it will cause some thought and hopefully result in some growth.
     In spite of what you may think, I do listen to the beliefs of others. I ma
    immediately reject them as inconsistent with what I perceive to be truth,
    but I do listen. Have a good day yourself.

    Message: 53175
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: hoax
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 10:24:12

    Some people seem to take for granted that the Iran Airbus incident was a
    hoax.  This seems extremely implausible to me, and I have seen no good
    evidence for it.  Are those of you crying "hoax" claiming that the plane was
    remote controlled?  Flown by a kamikaze?  The communications between the
    plane and the tower don't seem to indicate any hoax.  The sorrow of the
    relatives of the passengers doesn't seem to indicate a hoax.
       Mention has been made of the bodies being unburned.  Was the fuselage in
    fact hit by a missile?  It was my impression that the missiles effectively
    blew the wings off (going for the engines).  Those who claim this is a hoax
    need to provide evidence that the bodies (seen only distantly in videotapes)
    *significantly* differ from what would be expected in this sort of a
    disaster.
       The best explanation seems to be that it was a regular commercial flight
    that was shot down.  If it was an Iranian setup, it was most likely a setup
    of some of their own people rather than a planeload of corpses from the
    morgue.

    Message: 53176
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Viruses
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 17:30:28

      The biggest problem you will have as the system manager is
    controlling what software people run on your system.  The
    problem of control has only gotten worse with the
    proliferation of networks and serial file-transfer programs.
    How do you keep employees from running unauthorized software
    on your computer systems?  The difficulty with this problem
    can be illustrated by looking at several personal computer
    games that have "job saver" screens.  The purpose of the
    screen is to switch to a spreadsheet or some other
    "real-looking" screen with a single keystroke so that, if
    the boss walks in, it will look like you are doing something
    other than playing a game.  I have seen employees go to
    great lengths to get and keep a program on their computer at
    work without the system manager knowing.  On a VAX, it's as
    easy as renaming GAME.EXE to PROPOSAL.RNO - it now fits
    right in.  Maybe it is better to set up a totally
    nonprivileged gaming area.
      You can improve your odds by coming up with a strict
    policy and ruthlessly enforcing it.  No unauthorized
    programs, period.  However, this can only work if your
    management is fully behind you and willing to back you up.
    And it also requires that your employees understand the risk
    to the company and to their own jobs.
      Another way is to search the disk every day, or as often

    Message: 53177
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Viruses
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 17:37:01

    as you can afford to, for new or altered files that should
    not be there.  How do you know what files are supposed to be
    there?  Let that be your homework assignment.  You can start
    with the system directories, because these are the most
    likely to be attracted and also the most static.  Write a
    program that checksums all the files in all the system
    directories and compares those results against a secure
    known set of results.  To be of any value, the checksumming
    program and the list of checksums must be kept in a secure
    location free of potential contamination by a virus.  The
    one slight problem with this method is that a carefully
    written virus could modify a file to have the same checksum
    as it had before.  However, this can be made much more
    difficult by using sophisticated checksumming routines.
    ((continued))

    Message: 53180
    Author: $ Pat Stoddard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Airbus radio calls
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 22:25:04

    CBS news tonight had some of the transcript of the Iran Air 655 flight. One
    part, communication between the Bandar Abbas tower and the plane, said that
    the plane was cleared to climb from 12000 feet, and that the plane was to
    make contact with Tehran air control. In the transmissions between the plane
    and Tehran, the plane's pilot radioed that he was ascending from 7000 feet.
    The transcript there, by itself, sounds out of line. Add in the pristine
    stiffs, and all the BS from Iran's loudmouths there and in New York, that
    makes this whole thing sound like a well-orchestrated set-up. No money until
    it is proven without flimsy evidence.

    Later...                                                 Pat

    Message: 53181
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Burkhart/53170
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 08:17:03

    You racist pig.

    Message: 53182
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Vote
    Subject: Old Vote....
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 11:06:44

    What has 1,792 steps?

     Statue of Liberty
     Washington Monument
     Eiffel Tower

    Poll results to date:
     10    12    11

    The correct answer is C

    Message: 53183
    Author: Darren Erickson
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Iranian Airbus
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 13:51:10

    The Iranian Airbus disaster was certainly a tragedy to the people
    of Iran.  Many people died when the "bus" was shot down.  I
    think it probably was a commercial airliner simply in the
    wrong spot of the sea.  However, there are two factors to be
    considered from two separate viewpoints.  First, the pilots
    either were not monitoring the frequencies that warnings were
    given over, or ignored them.  Every attempt was made at telling
    this plane to leave the area.  Second (on the same viewpoint,)
    remember when KAL007 went down?  Accusations were raised that
    the airline was on a spy mission.  I still think that this is
    possible.  Just because somebody is paranoid does not mean a
    conspiracy is not present.
    Secondly, the Iranian government hates the U.S. for this action,
    and (I assume) wants reparations for it.  But what about the
    the Iranian hostage crisis?  I'm sure that if we subtract reparations
    for keeping so many people against their will for around a year
    it would end up with Iran owing us money.
    Finally, the Iranians have always preached "Death to America" and
    how they are "technically at war" with the U.S.A.  Why should
    we pay such high prices for such children.
    "Deal with children like children."
    -----Darren

    Message: 53184
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Taranto
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 14:19:38

    Me, a racist pig?  The pressure of working at Heritage must be getting to
    you.  (I have this strange feeling of deja vu).

    Message: 53185
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Darren/53183
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 15:09:07

    Sorry, around 50 people kept hostage for a year does not compare with the
    death of 290 people.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 53186
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Burkhart
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 16:38:29

    Of course you are a racist pig.  It is quite clear from your message.
    Reread it and you'll see exactly what I'm takling about.

    Message: 53187
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Iran
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 16:40:19

    Dog-breath is right.  There is a big difference between the accidentally
    killing people on a plane that happened to be in a combat zone, and invading
    an embassy and holding diplomatic personnel hostage for over a year.  Iran
    is infinitely more culpable for the latter than we are for the former.

    Message: 53188
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: Viruses
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 19:48:23

    Good backup
      An easy way of verifiying that no changes have been made
    to files on disk is to have a known good backup copy.  Every
    time you want verification, use Backup with the /VERIFY
    switch.  Backup will compare the known good copy with the
    copy on disk byte-by-byte and report the differences.  This
    method will even detect changes that were not made through
    the VMS file system.
      Dealing with user files is a much more difficult problem.
    User areas tend to have a large flux of files from one day
    to the next.  This makes it almost impossible to write a
    program to automatically verify that a user's files have
    been altered by a virus and not the user.
      As you can see, the problem is much easier to tackle by
    prevention than by cure.  A lot depends on the
    sophistication of the virus that is attacking you.  The
    object is to set up your system to make an infection
    relatively difficult and then take reasonable care to avoid
    exposure and contamination.  Setting up your system properly
    involves setting up reasonable file and object protections,
    not giving out privileges that can allow a virus to go
    around established protections and using the audit facility
    to watch for unauthorized accesses to your sensitive files.
      Keep you system healthy.

    Message: 53189
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: #53185/B.D
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 23:34:20

       If the 50 hostages don't compare, how about the 200-300 people that are
    killed DAILY because of the war between Iran and Iraq....with the vast
    majority of them coming from Iran (Khomenei (sp) is a great believer in
    cannon-fodder).  Iran has lost more people in their war with Iraq than the
    US did totally in WWII, Korean War and Vietnam War.

       As they say 'War is hell' and since Iran seems to be at war with the
    entire world (or the vast majority of it), I feel no sorrow or remorse at
    what happened to them.

    (LL)oyd Pulley
    *s

    Message: 53190
    Author: Vickie Dryden
    Category: For sale
    Subject: car
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 08:34:27

    I am selling my 1977 Chrystler Cordoba for $600.00.
    I have rebuilt the transmission,2 new tires,new brakes.
    New stearing box,new starter motor,new master cylinder.
    Looks very good and runs beautiful.
    Does have air conditioning and heat.
    Call me at 602-230-8754 anytime........

    Message: 53191
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Heat
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 12:27:50

    God damn it is hot here in Washington.  Yesterday it was 104 degrees.

    Message: 53192
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Hot time in city
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 14:17:23

       Gee, that's too bad.  It's only 110 here in Phoenix.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53193
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Iran
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 14:21:30

       The Iranian Airbus was not in a war zone.  The US has not declared war
    against Iran, and the Iranian government has not issued a formal declaration
    of war either.  The plane was in a "police action" zone.

       I agree that someone needs to keep the Gulf open, but I don't see why
    that has to be the US.  The US isn't the only country in the world with a
    navy, and there are countries that have far greater interests in the Gulf.
    Of course, why should they risk their own ships and sailors, when the US
    will do their dirty work for them for free?

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53194
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Iran
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 15:14:44

      Well, personally I'm confused.  Originally we were there
    to protect commercial traffic, but now neutral countries are
    no longer flying commercial air traffic in the area (at
    least Japan).  Can't say I blame them, considering what's
    happened.  But I'm still confused.
      Are we protecting commercial *sea* traffic at the expense
    of commercial *air* traffic?  Or are we just protecting
    commercial *oil* traffic at the expense of commercial
    *human* cargos?
      Has anyone heard any official "refinement" of our policy
    in this regard?
              Apro Poet

    Message: 53195
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: In search of
    Subject: THX-1138
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 15:21:10

    Some public announcements from the movie THX-1138:

    Make appropriate corrections.

    For more enjoyment and greater efficiency, consumption is
    being standardized.  We are sorry.

    If you feel you are not properly sedated, call 348-844
    immediately.  Failure to do so may result in prosecution for
    criminal drug evasion.

    That incident over in red sector L destroyed another 63
    personnel, giving them a total of 242 lost to our 195.  Keep
    up the good work and prevent accidents!

    Stay calm.

    Let us be thankful we have an occupation to fill.  Work
    hard.  Increase production.  Prevent accidents and ...
    be happy.

    You are engaged in an unauthorized procedure.  Remain where
    you are.

    Message: 53196
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: News Today
    Subject: Be happy
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 15:30:34

    U.S. is lax on workplace deaths, safety study says
    by Sam Meddis, USA TODAY
      The federal government fails to prosecute in job deaths,
    a safety study charges today.
      The National Safe Workplace Institute estimates 69,700
    job-related deaths - "legalized workplace homicide" - since
    1981.  In that time:
      > The Labor Department referred 19 cases to the Justice
    Department for prosecution - for acts ranging from fraud to
    safety violations resulting in up to 28 deaths.
      > The Justice Department brought criminal prosecutions in
    only three cases.  Highest penalties: $10,000 fine and a
    30-day stay in a halfway house.
      Frank White, of Occupational Safety and Health
    Administration, says federal laws focus on civil
    enforcement, such as the $4.2 million fine against Bath
    (Maine) Iron Works for safety and health violations.
      "We think it's not the best use of our resources to chase
    corporate outlaws," he says.

    Message: 53197
    Author: $ Steven Carls
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Iran-Zak
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 17:17:25

    Well, I think we should wait before we decide  who is right and who is wrong
    during the Iranian shooting.  There is still too many conflicting reports on
    all sides.  However, most people agree that Iran and Iraq should stop their
    fighting.

    I know that when I was in Greece a month ago, there was some concern over
    safety for Aerican tourist.  Now, I am afraid that Greece's tourism is going
    to go down the tubes.  However, the rest of Europe was realitivly safe.

    Now Zak, I now you can come up with better quotes from the Mall preachers,
    EH???  Hopefully Brother Jud or Sister Cindy will return this year.  They
    are the most fanatical of the bunch.  Mayvbe you and Lippard can make a day
    of it on the mall, EH???
      " The ATARI WILDCAT "  and World Traveller  Steven Carls

    Message: 53198
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 17:47:55

    I'm sure that Zak and Jim will make most days on the mall.

    Message: 53199
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Question?
    Subject: 53194
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 18:53:15

    Who wrote that?

    Message: 53200
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Steve Carls
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 19:24:06

    Let's all get together:  you, Jim Lippard, and I, EH???

    Bzzzzz...

    Message: 53201
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Paul Savage
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 19:38:29

    Thanks.  God loves you.  And he's concerned about me.

    Message: 53202
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Zak, Jim and Steve
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 23:22:19

    Gosh, all of you are going to be not logging on next year, since you'll be
    enjoying the thrilling Tuscon life.
    I'm deeply apathetic.

    Message: 53203
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JT/racist pig
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 23:25:43

    OK, so Jackson is still a candidate.

    Message: 53204
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Question?
    Subject: zak
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 01:40:13

    Meant to ask you last nite...

    Was that preacher from the DOOR, by any chance?

    Carol->

    Message: 53205
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Jim Lippard/Airbus
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 06:38:40

     I have heard as much expert testimony expressing the idea that the bodies
    were planted in the water and do not show any of the evidence of bodies that
    have survived an explosion and 9000 foot fall as I have anything else.
     If, in fact, the missiles did hit the wing area, I do believe that the
    wings are also the fuel storage tanks, which, if true, would cause a
    tremendous explosion that wuld have certainly engulfed the entire plane, and
    certainly had some effect on the occupants.
     True, we have not seen an real closeup pictures or evidence, and probably
    will not, for I really think such examination would reveal the whole hoax.
    In response to the comment that if it was a hoax, Iran used their own people
    rather than corpses from the morgue, that woul not be too surprising either,
    considering that the last shelling incident a couple of years ago revealed
    the fact that the American shells fell on target, the oil refineries, while
    those shells that fell on the civilian population were Iranian shells, fired
    from the opposite direction from the American ships.
    Don't forget, when we deal with such as Khomenei, we are not dealing with
    rational people. Put nothing beyond their capabilities, or their low value
    of human life, especially if the loss of 290 of them will cause the "great
    Satan" embarrassment.

    Message: 53206
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Dukakis
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 13:03:54

    Has anyone noticed that Ducaca looks like a cheap hood in a 'B' movie? Do
    you want to look at that face for the next four years? How about 'wimpy'
    Bush and his frumpy wife? Real pace setters there eh?

          ** VOTE LIBERTARIAN ***

    Message: 53207
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Wimpy Bush?
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 13:24:53

            Bush may be a lot of things, but I hardly think he is a "WIMP"!
    He was a pilot, a decorated one at that...and you can't be a wimp and have
    had that type of a profession.
            To Vote Libby would be a throw-a-way Vote.....  and might let that
    Democrat in an office with his revloving door prison policies.
            I do not care for Bush, but he is much safer choice than that other
    nut.
            Vote REPUBLICAN!

    Message: 53208
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last two
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 16:57:06

    Cliff,

       It's hard to believe, but I'm in agreement with you.  Bush is anything
    but a wimp.

       And the logic of voting Libertarian, is the type of logic that lead us to
    Ev Mecham being elected.

       Vote Republican!

    Message: 53209
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Vote, '88
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 17:14:38

    I'm a little concerned that the media is giving a lot more coverage to the
    democratic convention and candidates that republicans.  All we hear anymore
    is democratic convention this and Jesse that and Duke on radio and
    television.  I want to hear an equal amount of coverage on the republican
    side of the ticket.

    Is it just possible that the media is a little biased?

    Message: 53210
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Vote
    Subject: Potential Material
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 17:33:39

      Would you accept $1 million to leave America and never set
    foot in it again?
      That's one of the head-scratching stumpers in The Book of
    Questions (Workman), in which Author Gregory Stock created
    217 questions that pose puzzling moral dilemmas.
      Here are other examples.  How would you respond?
    - Would you be willing to murder an innocent person if it
    would end world hunger?
    - If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain
    either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old, which would
    you want?
    - For an all-expense-paid, one-week vacation to anywhere,
    would you kill a butterfly by pulling off its wings?
    What about stepping on a cockroach?
    - Would you give up half of what you currently own for a
    pill that would permanently change you so that one hour of
    sleep a day would fully refresh you?
    - Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000?
    - For $20,000, would you go three months without washing,
    brushing your teeth or using deodorant?  You could not
    explain your bizarre behavior to anyone - not even to
    friends or co-workers.
    - Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed to
    be guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?

    Message: 53211
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Vote
    Subject: Potential Material
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 17:35:46

    - Would you give up TV for five years if it would prompt
    someone to feed 1,000 starving children in Indonesia?
    - Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every
    night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary
    wealth?

    Message: 53212
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Holy Geni, Batman!
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 17:37:33

    Why is it that when you halve a hole, you still have a whole
    hole?

    Message: 53213
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Poet
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 18:10:36

    Only a few of those are really dilemmas.  The answers are:  No, no, body,
    hell yes, of course, yes, depends on the size of the bowl, no, depends on
    the finger, no, yes.

    Message: 53214
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cliff/Lloyd
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 19:58:21

    Imagine a situation where the majority of citizens in your nation are
    neo-Nazis.  There are two neo-Nazi parties which have different emphases on
    government control of the economy, and one anti-Nazi third party which gets
    few votes.  Would you refuse to vote for the anti-Nazi party candidate on
    the grounds that it is a vote wasted?  It is such thinking that leads to the
    continued political dominance of the Demopublicans.  Power gets passed back
    and forth--the Democrats increase social spending, the Republicans increase
    defense spending and fighting drugs and sex.  Government continues to grow.
    Yet people choose not to vote for the only party that offers a change to the
    ever-growing Leviathan on the grounds that such a vote is "wasted."
        I fail to see how "the logic of voting Libertarian ... is the type of
    logic that lead [sic] us to Ev Mecham being elected."  It is not so clear
    that Carolyn Warner would have beaten Mecham if Bill Schultz had not entered
    the race.  It is clear, however, that she would have been a terrible
    governor.

    Message: 53215
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last...
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 21:29:30

            But I do not believe in what the Libertarian Party stands for.
    The reason they do not get the Votes is that the people of this land are
    smart enough to see what they offer is unrealistic and won't work.
            I will take that back about a "Vote being wasted" however...
    If that is how you feel, Vote it!  And maybe next election, people will take
    notice and see not is all perfect with the Democratic or Republican party.
    But you know they will only look, if the numbers are LARGE....

    Cliff

    Message: 53216
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 22:49:26

    And the numbers will only be "LARGE" if jerks like you quit saying "a
    Libertarian vote is wasted."
    However, I'm a jerk, and I'm voting for Bush.  I believe in picking the
    lesser of two evils.  If I had my druthers, it would be a Libertarian
    President and Congress.  Short of that, as Llewellyn Rockwell, Jr.
    (vice-chairman of Ron Paul's campaign) pointed out in a letter in the last
    Reason, I would prefer a Democratic president and Republican Congress to the
    converse (which is what we've had, mostly, for the last seven years).
    I agree that the Libertarian platform isn't completely workable.  The great
    benefit the Libertarians get from having no chance at real power (at least
    in the near future) is that they don't have to compromise their ideals to
    political realities.  However, a laissez-faire economy, with a very small
    government, is workable, equitable and efficient, and is the best of the
    available alternatives.  The question the Libertarians haven't answered is
    how to bring such a system into being, and how to make it stable from the
    inevitable attempts to use government as tool of legitimized coercion (which
    is what happens now).  I'm not sure there is an answer.
    The Libertarian party also has the problem, as a fringe party, that it
    attracts a fringe element.  But the Democratic and Republican party have
    fringes, and the Libertarian fringe is a lot more harmless.

    Message: 53217
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Todd
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 23:39:08

    Don't you think it only 'seems' that they are giving them more time because
    they are having their convention.

    Wait till the Republicans have theirs, and then you can judge preferential
    media treatment, or not. Seems elementary to me.

    Boy, Dukakis sure patched it up with JJ quickly. Wonder what he promised
    him, or what the threat was?

    Carol->

          p.s. Did anyone see Jon Jon introduce the Chappaquidik Kid?
               Pat McMahon said he was going to but I didn't catch it on the
    news canywhere.

    Message: 53218
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Apro
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 05:45:38

    1. I'd leave America for one million dollars.
    2. No - wouldn't kill one soul to end hunger.
    3. I'd want the body of a 30 year old at 90.
    4. Hell yes I'd step on a roach - I do it for nothing now.
    5. I'd give up ALL I own for a pill that would let me sleep for 1 hour and
    be refreshed.
    7. No - no cricket eating
    8. I'd go three months without bathing.
    9. I'd have my finger removed (any one of them) for no diseases.
    10. I'd give up TV to feed a 1,000 children
    11. No - no nightmares.

    Message: 53219
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Cliff/voting
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 05:50:39

    I promiced myself a long time ago never to vote for the lesser of two evils
    again and I havn't! I don't agree with the Libertarian party a 100% - but it
    beats the heck out of the other two at this stage of politics! Personally,
    I'd like to see just SOME of the Lib. ideas get into our government right
    now. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53220
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cliff/Bush
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 06:07:17

    Why can't he be a wimp and be a decorated pilot? What's that got to do with
    it? He'll walk that same, safe path as all the rest of the politicians walk
    - not rocking his political boat if he can help it! He'll also spend his
    forth year in office campaining for the next four years. In reality, we
    elect a president for only three year. Their out kissing babies the last
    year! Their hasn't been a president or anyone running that has stirred the
    people to a better America for several years now. Bobby Kennedy was the
    last. He made people feel good about being an American and he gave hope. Now
    all we have to look forward to is taxes being raised, the national debt will
    not come close to being paid and hope and pray that the new guy won't push
    that button! =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53221
    Author: $ Ralph Blehm
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: vote
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 06:30:00

    Ev for the white house, and my dog duke for V.P.

    Message: 53222
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Todd/media
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 07:49:30

    It's hard to conceive of the Arizona media, mostly conservative as it is,
    being biased in favor of the Democrats.
    It is probable that more is being heard of the Dems at the moment because
    their conention is in progress, and is being reported as news.
    I'm sure that when the Republicans hold their convention they will get equal
    time and space.
    The way things look from here, I just wish that there was a space on the
    ballot for "none of the above". THere is nobody running for anything that
    really appeals to me, but I will probably vote for Dukakis, simply because I
    don't want another 4 or 8 years of Reagan clonism.

    Message: 53223
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Carol
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 09:12:52

    Yes, he is from the Door.

    Message: 53224
    Author: $ Steven Carls
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: School
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 13:14:37

    David, don't feel too bad, I think we can arange to call Apollo a couple
    times a semester.  The money is worth it, if people like you really care.

    My favorite mall preacher quote-paraphrased.  When judgement day comes, I
    will be behind Oral Roberts and JESUS destroying the non-believers.

    I also found out, some of the mall preachers are actually Drama students
    practicing.  Again, these are a small percentage, and are usually the less
    fanatical ones, EH???
     "  The ATARI WILDCAT  "  Steven Carls

    Message: 53225
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Tru Fax
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 17:18:38

      A White Plains, New York, youth was charged with indecent
    exposure after he allegedly dropped his pants and exposed
    himself to a person dressed as Gumby.

      A burglar broke into an Alton, Illinois, home, baked a
    cherry pie, ate a slice, and left.  According to police, the
    intruder left the uneaten portion of the pie in the
    refrigerator.

      A woman in Pinole, California, complained to police that a
    man wearing an "Inspector" badge approached her as she was
    leaving a grocery store and informed her that her purple
    pants had religious significance.

      A student at Northwestern University was found jumping up
    and down on the roof of a parked car by an officer on
    patrol.  The young man said it was okay for him to damage
    the car because it was rented.

    Message: 53226
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Tru Fax
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 17:26:50

      The following reports were filed by police in Bellingham,
    Washington:
      Doris E. McBride was cited for shoplifting after she ate
    about a pound of mushrooms in a store without paying.
      An unidentified man was stopped by officers in the
    downtown area because he was kicking car tires and drinking
    from mud puddles.  The man maintained he was "having a bad
    day."

      In Chicago, Bernard Hayes shot and killed his friend
    Sammy Diggs during an argument.  The dispute erupted after
    the television set they were watching began to roll
    vertically.

      In Riverdale, Illinois, forty-eight-year-old Michael S.
    Allen was arrested after he shot and killed his
    eighty-eight-year-old mother because she insisted on
    watching *The Bill Cosby Show*.

    Message: 53227
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Todd/Bias media
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 19:16:38

    Oh, come one!  The media bias?  That's silly, we all know they're objective
    and fair. Of course, I seem to remember a message pointing out poll results
    showing how bias the media is.  Something like this:
    The January (1988) issue of Reader's Digest has an article entitled "Can We
    Trust the News?"  They cite a book, The Media Elite, which finds reporters
    to have voted Democrat by a margin of 94%. It also cites a Los Angeles Times
    poll of 3000 newspaper editors and reporters.
    Political Persuasion
         Liberal                            Conservative
         55%          <=(Journalists)=>     17%
         24%            <=(Public)=>        29%
    Those who favor Abortion
         Journalists                        Public
         82%                                51%
    Those who favor Affirmative Action
         Journalists                        Public
         81%                                57%
    Those who defend homosexual rights
         Journalists                        Public
         89%                                56%
    Those who voted for Reagan in 1984
         Journalists                        Public (electorate)
         26%                                59%
    The message was posted by some guy named Todd.

    Message: 53228
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Carol/Paul
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 10:15:38

    At this time, it only SEEMS that way.  I'll wait until the media covers the
    Republican side of things and see if there really is media bias.
    Reviewing the last message by David Burkhart quoting some message entered by
    some guy named Todd (one who he could be) tends to beef up my point of view.

    Message: 53229
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Mother Theresa
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 16:12:04

    Mother Theresa was indicted today on charges of cocaine smuggling.

    Message: 53230
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Libertarian wackos
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 16:20:29

    There are immense differences between the Democratic and Republican parties.
    Only a nut would deny this.  And though neither is perfect, the Republicans
    are certainly preferable.  Libertarians?  Their ideas on economics make a
    lot of sense, and are shared by many conservatives.  On social issues their
    views make a degree of sense, though they are too quick to dismiss
    legitimate concerns about the consequences of, for example, legalizing
    drugs.  Also, as Dean Hathaway has demonstrated, their views on abortion are
    shallow and mindless.  It is their views on foreign policy, however, that
    make the Libertarians not worthy of being taken seriously.  Libertarians
    would like to see international relations conducted by private
    organizations.  They are opposed on principle to aiding freedom-fighters,
    because they cannot distinguish between paying very modest taxes and being
    subjected to communist torture.  Libertarianism, at least of the variety
    espoused by the Libertarian Party, is a utopian ideology, which, like all
    utopian ideologies, makes the perfect the enemy of the good.  If the
    Libertarians came to power, we would be in trouble.

    Message: 53231
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Tru Fax
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 17:05:35

      Officials in India have "banned winking by female models
    in commercials as part of a campaign to improve the
    country's morals."
      According to a spokeman for Doordarshan, the state-run
    television network, "All sorts of hidden meanings come up
    with winking when the model advertises, say, lipstick."

      "In Richmond, California, one man died and another was
    injured during a brawl that broke out while a family
    watched a *60 Minutes* report on police brutality in
    Richmond."

      When a neighbor of a seventy-year-old-man called police to
    report that the man was apparently dead because he failed to
    respond to repeated knocking at the door, police found the
    man in fine health.  The man told officers he was ignoring
    the neighbor on purpose.  "I have a cold six-pack in the
    refrigerator," he explained, "and he knows it."

    Message: 53232
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: News update
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 17:25:20

         WASHINGTON (AP) -- Vice President George Bush vowed today that if he is
    elected president, he will "build on the Reagan legacy of economic
    violence."
         "We've come far, but we haven't come far enough," Bush told an audience
    of corporate fat cats and bomb-building billionaires.  "Even after eight
    years of Reaganomics, the poor still have way too much money, and the rich
    don't have enough.  We must work to correct this equity."
         Bush said he would consider a tax increase on the poor "only as a last
    resort," and added that he would prefer to "wage economic violence more
    subtly, like with the plant-closing notification law."  Bush referred to a
    law he has proposed under which if a company closed a plant, it would have
    to wait 60 days before it told its workers.

    Message: 53233
    Author: Jeff Watkins
    Category: Bulletins
    Subject: The Rat's Nest
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 18:16:33

                 ZDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?
                Z3        T h e   R a t ' s   N e s t          3?
               Z33                                             33?
              Z333 B u l l e t i n   B o a r d   S e r v i c e 333?
              3333                                             3333
              3333        ( 6 0 2 ) / 9 7 1 - 2 4 5 4          3333
              3333                                             3333
              3333   1 2 0 0 / 2 4 0 0 / 9 6 0 0 / 1 9 2 0 0   3333
              3333                                             3333
              3333        USRobotics Courier HST Plus!         3333
              3

    Message: 53234
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Taranto
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 19:10:33

    Not all libertarians share Hathaway's views on abortion (there is a
    "Libertarians for Life" anti-abortion group, for example), not all
    libertarians are isolationist (look at the Reason Foundation, for example).
    At least you qualified your remark about utopian ideology with "of the
    variety espoused by the Libertarian Party".  Reading the pages of magazines
    such as Liberty show that many libertarians are not supporters of the
    Libertarian Party.  The existence of the Libertarian Republican Organizing
    Committee is also evidence of this.
       Voting Libertarian can be viewed not only as an attempt to get a
    candidate elected (as the odds of that are obviously nil) but as an attempt
    to get the other parties to take notice of the libertarian position and
    possibly incorporate libertarian philosophy into their own platforms.

       As for "immense" differences between the Republicans and Democrats, it
    depends upon the scale on which the measurement is made.  While the
    Libertarian Party has a fairly consistent philosophy, the Republicans and
    Democrats do not.  Members of those two parties fall neatly into the
    liberal-conservative spectrum, with a great deal of overlap (what, for
    instance, is the difference between a conservative Democrat and a liberal
    Republican?).

    Message: 53235
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: more
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 19:21:56

    "They are opposed on principle to aiding freedom-fighters, because they
    cannot distinguish between paying very modest taxes and being subjected to
    communist torture."
       What does paying taxes have to do with libertarians aiding
    freedom-fighters?  Most libertarians have no objection to individuals or
    groups voluntarily supplying aid to "freedom-fighters."  Oh, what you really
    mean is "They are opposed on principle to government financing
    freedom-fighters with tax dollars."  Why didn't you say so?
       Your conclusion is also obviously completely bogus.  Libertarians do
    Most libertarians do regard any taxation as a form of coercion and thus
    illegitimate use of force--as is communist (or capitalist) torture.  But I
    don't think there are any who don't recognize a difference between the two.
    They simply regard the difference as a quantitative rather than qualitative
    one.
    Your argument is attacking a straw man.  You might well have said "they
    cannot distinguish between pickpockets and mass murderers."
    By the way, most libertarians DO make the distinction you want them to
    make--between legitimate and illegitimate government use of force.  Most
    simply draw the line around legitimate government force much narrowly than
    you.

    Message: 53236
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 23:48:33

    Re: Wimp.

    I heard another one today:

    "Bush is a toothache of a man."

    Loved it!

    This Republican is an ex-elephant lover.

    Carol->

    Message: 53237
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Zak
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 23:48:50

    That figures!

    Message: 53238
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Taranto
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 23:49:14

    What are you doing in Washington?

    Message: 53240
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Commercial
    Subject: Close out sale
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 10:17:33

            EVERYTHING must go.....
    Sanyo 16 plus PC/XT computers 512K RAM, Parallel Port, Serial Port, MS-DOS
    3.2, GW-BASIC.....  $499.00 (without monitor or monitor card)

    STB Color Card (CGA) $99.00
    Sanyo CRT 80 (RGB)

    Message: 53241
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Lippard
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 17:08:17

    I regard myself as something of a libertarian (small l) in that I believe
    freedom deserves a position at the top of any heirarchy of values.  The
    problem with the ideology espoused by some libertarians is that it considers
    freedom to be the only value.  There are libertarians, for example, who will
    argue in favor of drug legalization and simply reject any discussion of the
    social costs of drugs, claiming it is simply a matter of freedom versus
    coercion.  I believe that the decision about whether to legalize drugs
    should be made on the basis of the projected social costs and benefits, with
    enhanced freedom counting as one of the benefits.  (I am not certain how
    this cost-benefit analysis would come out; I tend to lean toward
    legalizaion, though I am on the fence.)

    Doctrinaire libertarians also have a rather narrow view of the scope of
    freedom -- and this shows up in their attitude toward foreign policy.  I
    know libertarians who think the United States should not provide government
    aid to the Afghan, Nicaraguan, or Angolan freedom-fighters, because those
    funds would have to be taken coercively from the American taxpayers.  But
    what about the freedom for which the Afghans, Nicaraguans, and Angolans are
    fighting?  Does the value of freedom stop at the borders?

    Message: 53242
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Vote
    Subject: them Dems...
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 17:32:26

            What do you think about that Democratic convention...  How utterly
    BORING!   I thought more of Mondale 4 years ago than I do of Dukakis.... and
    look how badly he got beat.  I think after the Democrats get their little
    asses stomped into the ground again, they will get the picture America is
    just plain tired of give away social programs... throwing money at the
    problems are not going to make them go away.

    VOTE REPUBLICAN... Keep America Prosperous!

    Message: 53243
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Taranto
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 17:59:15

    I am in complete agreement with your first paragraph.
    The second I am not sure I fully agree with.  If a libertarian is also an
    anarchist, then he would be opposed to government aid because of his
    opposition to government.  On the other hand, the majority of libertarians
    simply support a minimal government which would have money to work with
    (though perhaps financed by user fees rather than taxes).  Such libertarians
    who oppose intervention on the part of their government are then faced with
    the problem you present.  To my mind, this should really be dealt with as
    two issues rather than one.  1. What would be appropriate for the government
    *as it exists now*?  2. What would be appropriate for an ideal government?
    The first question is pragmatic politics,  the second is philosophy.  I
    think the problem with most libertarians is that they fail to make this
    distinction, and try to apply answers to the second question to the first.
    (BTW, the first question could be lengthened to include criteria for moving
    closer to the ideal from where we presently are.)

    You are quite right that many libertarians have a rather shallow view of
    morality.  This is illustrated by the results of a poll taken by Liberty
    magazine (July 1988) in which respondents were asked a variety of moral
    questions.  The results prompted several Liberty editors to call the
    respondents "nuts."  Some examples in the next message.

    Message: 53244
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: who are these nuts?
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 18:03:55

    How much is that baby in the window?
       The problem:  "Suppose that a parent of a new-born baby places it in
    front of a picture window and sells tickets to anyone wishing to observe the
    child starve to death.  He makes it clear that the child is free to leave at
    any time, but that anyone crossing his lawn will be viewed as trespassing.
       "Would you cross the lawn and help the child?"
       Yes: 89%
       No:  11%
       "Would helping the child violate the parent's rights?"
       Yes:  26%
       No:  74%

    Starving Baby, the Sequel
       "Suppose that a parent decides to experiment with a radical new diet for
    his new-born child.
       "Should you prevent the parent from trying the diet, if you had good
    evidence that it would endanger the child's health?"
       Yes:  41%
       No:  59%
       "Suppose that you had good evidence that the diet would endanger the
    child's life?"
       Yes:  62%
       No:  38%

    Message: 53245
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: even bigger nuts
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 18:08:48

    Trespass or Die!
       "Suppose that you are on a friend's balcony on the 50th floor of a
    condominium complex.  You trip, stumble and fall over the edge.  You catch a
    flagpole on the next floor down.  The owner opens his window and demands you
    stop trespassing.
       "Which of the following statements reflects your beliefs?"
       You should enter the owner's residence against the owner's wishes.
          84%
       You should hang on to the flagpole until a rope can be thrown down from
    above.
          15%
       You should drop.
          2%
    (BTW, 2% is one person.)

    The Unexpected Blizzard
       "Suppose that your car breaks down in an unpredicted blizzard.  You are
    trapped and may well freeze before help can get to you.  You know that
    there is only one house within hiking distance.  You hike to it.  The owner,
    a frightened woman whose husband is absent, refuses to admit you (she has no
    phone, so asking her to telephone for help is pointless).
       "Which of the following statements reflects your beliefs?"
       You should force entrance, but in this case it would not constitute an
    act of aggression.   16%

    Message: 53246
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 18:13:52

       You should force entrance, even though it would be an act of aggression.
          62%
       You should not attempt to enter the house.
          22%

    While in nearly all of these cases I think the majority answered correctly
    (the exception being the answer to the first question about the starving
    baby sequel), there were way too many people choosing way-out answers.
    (Another bizarre one:  44% didn't think parents have a legal obligation to
    support their offspring.)

    Message: 53247
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Carol
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 18:58:54

    If you get a chance to see George Bush speak in person, go.  He's
    impressive.  A few excerpts from a New Republic article on Bush:
    "A former White House official says she recently heard Bush discuss the
    Soviet Union in person and was impressed.  Then she saw him talk about the
    same subject on TV and was turned off.  When Linda Chavez ran the public
    liason office at the White House, she once encountered in Bush in the West
    Wing lobby.  Bush said 'Hi Linda,' kissed her on the cheek, and walked on.
    A woman who was with Chavez at the time asked 'Who was that handsome man?'"
    It's a matter of perception.  I'm probably one of the few people who likes
    Bush better as a person and leader than as someone who agrees with me
    ideologically.  But whatever your opinion of Bush, it's hard to believe
    anyone can respect that buffoon Dukakis.

    "You want long term notification of plant closings?  OK: if Dukakis is
    elected President, a lot of plants are going to close."  -- a sign in the
    offices of the Conservative Union.

    Message: 53248
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: David
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 19:40:11

    Carol wants STYLE, not SUBSTANCE.

    Message: 53249
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Taranto/foreign aid
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 21:45:18

    Yes, it should stop at the borders.  You believe that the Soviet Union
    and Cuba and Nicaragua shouldn't act outside of their borders, why should
    we?

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 53250
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: The SYSOP Speaks
    Subject: Manual...
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 23:03:56

            Oh well, there was not enough interest in a new Apollo 7.2+ manual,
    so it has been trashed.  As you might understand, it was quite an
    undertaking and just not worth the very small response that was recieved.
    To those of you who did ask... SORRY!

    SYSOP

    Message: 53251
    Author: $ Joe Bottomlee
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Poet's questions
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 23:29:17

    1. No I would not give up my country for a measly 1 million dollars.
    2. I would not kill an innocent person for any reason.
    3. I'll take the years of expereince, an so I would take the body.
       That way I could still do a lot of things I like to do.
    4. Butterfly wings bye, bye -- I love to travel.
    5. To only need 1 hour sleep a day would be great.
    6. I don't like crickets.
    7. For 3 months of no personal hygine(sp) it would cost $60,000.
    8. I like all my fingers - but you could have one if I ever got a life
       threating disease.
    9. Yes I would give up TV watching to feed starving childeren.
    10. I might concide having night mares if the one hour sleep pill was still
        working. But then again never mind a peaceful nights sleep is more
        valuable.

                                         <<< Joe >>>

    Message: 53252
    Author: $ Joe Bottomlee
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Ann/ Lesser Evil
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 23:31:34

    So Ann, do you now choose between the lesser of 3 evils?

                                     <<< Joe >>>

    Message: 53253
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Evils
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 05:12:00

      I, as most of you, don't like the Democrats' "tax and spend" mentality,
    but I don't like the Republicans' "borrow and spend" either.  Sure, Regan
    has not raised taxes, but he *has* run up over $3 trillion in debt.  That
    cannot continue indefinately, so whoever follows him is going to have to do
    something drastic to fix it:  severe cuts in spending, or big tax hikes.
    I'm afraid that just cutting spending won't do it -- the best you'd
    accomplish is keep from running up more debt.
      One thing I think can be done is a "zero tolerence" for contractor fraud.
    Any contractor that defrauds the government shall have *all* of its assets
    and divisions confiscated, and auctioned off.
      Another idea is to cut defense spending by 50%.  Since well over that
    amount is wasted, that wouldn't require any cuts in our military
    capabilities.  Just require each department in the DoD to cut its spending
    by 10% each quarter, with no cuts in service.  Any department that fails to
    do this would have all of its managers fired.  If the DoD as a whole fails
    to meet this goal, the Secretary of Defense should be fired.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53254
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Alan
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 06:59:35

    Your last message makes a lot of sense Alan.
    Speaking from 32 years of experience as a government employee, I think I
    speak conservatively when I say that at least 60% of all fiscal waste in
    government could be eliminated simply by getting rid of 90% of middle
    management personnel, 95% of upper management, and putting a stop to ALL the
    inflation of prices that the government pays for it's purchases. (Like the
    $400 toilet seats, etc.) Let contracts be let to the lowest bidder who will
    perform to established standards, eliminating all cost-plus contracts. That
    way, those 20 million dollar airplanes could probably be produced for
    $150,000. (I can buy a perfectly functional toilet seat at K-Mart for about
    $10.00)

    Message: 53255
    Author: $ Ralph Blehm
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Question?
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 07:40:20

    What is freedom?
    If cutting deductions is not a tax increase What is it?
    Will we stop electing known crooks to office?
    Will we ever wake up and look at us?

    Message: 53256
    Author: $ Bill Burkett
    Category: Politics
    Subject: BUSH ON TV
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 08:55:28

            Bush can be effective on television -- IF he's given the right
    forum.  During the primary season I saw him on C-SPAN in a
    question-and-answer session.  He worked "in the round", responding without
    notes or a script to questions posed by persons who were apparently members
    of the general public.
            He was very effective.  His campaign people should emphasize those
    kinds of forums and to figure out how to construct them so the boys from the
    networks can get the 20-second sound bites they want for the evening news.
            This would represent sort of a neo-traditional way of campaigning:
    Something of a return to the whistle-stop tours where candidates would speak
    to small groups of townspeople, only the candidate would be dealing with the
    proverbial global village.  It would take great advantage of television's
    ability to make its audience feel the candidate is speaking directly and
    straightforwardly to them.

    Message: 53257
    Author: $ Michael James
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Paul
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 09:20:00

    Don't be silly.  A B1 could not be produced for $150,000.

    Message: 53258
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Jim/snow storms
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 12:06:53

            My oldest boy, who was about three years old, and I found ourselves
    in one HECK of a snow storm. We lived in the country and were on our way
    home when the storm rose its ugly head. Visibility was zero. The roads were
    no longer visible, even the houses could not be seen from the road. My only
    clue to whether I was still on a road or not was a brief glimpse of a mail
    box. To make a long story short ....... I got lost and stuck. The passenger
    side of the car was covered with snow and my side was quickly becoming
    covered. I was able to make out the outline of a house not too far from
    where we were stuck. I bundled Travis with everything I had, which meant I
    gave up some of my warm goodies. We crawled out the car window and, with
    my body shielding Travis from the cold wind, we walked as fast as we could
    to the house. My lungs were ready to burst, one side of my face was covered
    with ice, and my mind was telling me that I was not going to make it. When
    we reached the door to the house I opened the door, pushed Travis in, and I
    followed after. In the kitchen the house owners and kids stopped what they
    were doing and looked at us in surprise. I do not even remembering saying
    anything to them, I looked at them and then lead Travis to their fireplace.
    From there we got acquainted .... no hard feelings and we were not thrown
    out.

    Message: 53259
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: The Zone!
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:23:29

    For all of you that has never been in the Phantom Zone - don't ask Cliff to
    put you there! Don't do anything to be put there! It's hell. I know.
    =*--ANN the contrite!--*=
    P.S. Did you all miss me?

    Message: 53260
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Cliff/demos
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:25:13

    I too watched the convention and was impressed much to my surprise! Heck, I
    might even give up my Libertarian ideas and be a democrate again.
    =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53261
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: JT/Libertarians
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:25:45

    I claim victory for Jim Lippard. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53262
    Author: $ Mike Darus
    Category: Politics
    Subject: DEMOCRATS
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 16:31:51

    The democrats can stage a good party and they certainly know how to
    transform some preaching into a powerful speech (Jesse).  They do well at
    belittling a VP.  I just don't think our deficit can handle their high
    dreams and low morals.  They seem so pro-family as they promote abortion and
    gays.  It is amazing what good staging and salesmanship can do to the same
    old inadequacies.

    Message: 53263
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Commercial
    Subject: IBM type stuff!
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 16:38:20

    IBM Compatible Computer Software.... On CLEARANCE Sale!!!!

    Some Examples.....

           QUATTRO by Borland list...247.50    Sale P

    Message: 53264
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Commercial
    Subject: MacTablet Clearance
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 16:42:12

            Yep, I will be clearing out 8 of these MacTablets.

            Summa 12 X 12 Digitizer...

            List $599.00   Sale Price $349.00

    (this Sale will start next Tuesday, reserve one now)

    Message: 53265
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Tru Fax
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 20:22:31

      A representative of the Fallon McElligott advertising
    agency of Minneapolis illustrated a university lecture with
    an ad showing three women and the headline "Bitch.  Bitch.
    Bitch."  In a letter to the agency, Dr. Neala Schleuning,
    director of women's studies at the school, complained about
    the "negative stereotypes" of women in the presentation.  In
    response, an agency manager thanked her sarcastically and
    enclosed a picture of a naked African youth pressing his
    mouth against a cow's hindquarters.  He suggested the
    feminist might want to visit Africa and "put an end to this
    horrible practice."
      Dr. Schleuning complained about the manager's response to
    the heads of the agency, Patrick Fallon and Thomas
    McElligott.  Their reply was an offer to pay her expenses
    for a one-way trip to Africa, and they shipped a pith helmet
    and a mosquito net to her office.
      Fallon McElligott lost a ten-million-dollar account,
    U S West, Inc., as a result of the incident.

    Message: 53266
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Tru Fax
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 20:34:50

      The following excerpts are from an entry which appears
    in the freelance writers' directory *Writer's Market '88*:
      "*Foreskin Quarterly*, Desmodus Inc., Box 11314, San
    Francisco, CA 94101.  (415) 864-3456.  Editor: Bud Berkeley.
    90% freelance written.  Quarterly magazine covering
    circumcision.  'Most writers are anti-circumcision but both
    sides are solicited and pro-circumcision writers are also
    invited to submit.'  Circ. 15,000....
      "Nonfiction: Book excerpts, essays, expose, historical/
    nostalgic, how-to, humor, interview/profile, new product,
    opinion, personal experience, photo feature, technical, and
    travel....
      "Fiction: Adventure, confession, erotica, ethnic, fantasy,
    historical, humorous, religious, science fiction, and
    suspense.  Must have foreskin/circumcision slant....
      "Tips: 'Writers must have genuine interest in subject.'"

      Sandra Smith, a resident of McKeesport, Pennsylvania,
    filed suit in Common Pleas Court for injuries sustained
    when a portable toilet she was using in a local park
    toppled.  According to Smith, she suffered a broken left arm
    and injuries to her back, neck, and spine.  Also, the blue
    dye in the toilet bowl caused temporary disfigurement when
    it washed over her entire body.

    Message: 53267
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Dog
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 21:21:29

    You're right, there's no difference between the United States and the Soviet
    Union or Cuba, so why worry about them?

    Message: 53268
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Lippard
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 21:32:28

    Responsible conservatives and responsible libertarians are not that far
    apart.  In fact, I would consider libertarian organizations like the Reason
    Foundation and the Cato Institute (excluding some of the foreign policy
    views of the latter) to be within the spectrum of conservative thought.  A
    libertarian of this type is just a conservative who doesn't believe in
    state intervention in matters of personal morality and who has muddled views
    about foreign policy.  I would exclude the more doctrinnaire libertarians
    from the conservative camp, largely because they exclude themselves.

    Message: 53269
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Question?
    Subject: Cliff/Election
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 22:23:54

    What do you consider a landslide?  I'll put my money against yours that the
    Democrats will not lose by more than 15%.  Care to put your money where your
    mouth is?

    Message: 53270
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last on Landslide...
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 00:08:17

            Find where I said they were going to win by a landslide?

    Cliff

    Message: 53271
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Taranto
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 10:44:08

    Ha ha, you lose.  Attempting to cast the 'revolution without borders'
    analogy aside just shows how strong that argument is.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 53272
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Politics
    Subject: Bush and ????
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 11:43:20

            Who do you think Bush should pick for Vice President?
    Who are the possible choices?  Lets get a list up and maybe a ote and see
    if we on Apollo can guess in advance.

            Or do you have a better idea?

    Message: 53273
    Author: $ Steven Carls
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Bush's V.P.
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 13:10:37

    I heard on KTAR news radio, one represenative of the Republican Party says
    Bush should choose a well known Californian Politician.  He said Bush should
    have Ed Meese as his running mate....

    I am considering Babbit, Randy of the Redwoods, or Bill and Opus for my
    Presidental vote.
     "  The ATARI WILDCAT "  Steven Carls

    Message: 53274
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Tru Fax
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 14:49:34

      A test message written by a team of employees working on a
    computer program for the Wells Fargo Bank of Modesto,
    California, was not erased and inadvertently appeared on
    seven thousand monthly statements sent to customers.  The
    message read: "You owe your soul to the company store.  Why
    not owe your home to Wells Fargo?  An equity advantage
    account can help you spend what would have been your
    children's inheritance."

      Jordache, the designer-jeans manufacturer, lost its
    lawsuit against an Albuquerque, New Mexico, company which
    sells designer jeans for hefty women under the label
    Lardashe.  According to *Insight* magazine, "The
    Denver-based Tenth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rejected
    Jordache's argument that the Lardashe name was an attempt to
    confuse the public."
      Lardashe jeans are made by Oink, Inc., which considered a
    number of names before deciding on Larashe in 1984.  Among
    the other names were Vidal Sowsoon, Calvin Swine, and
    Seambusters.

    Message: 53275
    Author: Apro Poet
    Category: Tales & Tall Stories
    Subject: Tru Fax
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 14:56:12

      Two robbers entered Michael Howard Studios in Manhattan,
    a training center for professional actors, and held up
    twenty-eight people at gunpoint during their acting classes.
    Students who heard screams during the robbery disregarded
    them as just "someone acting."

      From the *Los Vegas Sun*:
      "An Austrian circus dwarf died recently when he bounced
    sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a
    hippopotamus.  Seven thousand people watched as little Franz
    Dasch popped into the mouth of Hilda the Hippo and the
    animal's gag reflex forced it to swallow.  The crowd
    applauded wildly before other circus people realized what
    happened."

    Message: 53276
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Bush
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 16:29:09

    Kemp.

    Message: 53277
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Dog-breath
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 16:29:39

    Hey, I agree with you.  There's no difference between communism and
    democracy; let's just give peace a chance!

    Message: 53278
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: The SYSOP Speaks
    Subject: ote GREEKING
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 17:15:48

            As most of you should know, your ost Office privacy is protected
    by a system called "GREEKING".  This is where ALL text is shown as "xxxxxx"
    on the Apollo SYSOPs Monitor, but seen as normal on your monitor.

            Now, I am pleased to annouce that Apollo's oting booth is also
    protected by 'GREEKING'.... making it IMPOSSIBLE for the SYSOP to see what
    you select.  This is to guarantee your privacy.

    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=**=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

    Message: 53279
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 17:56:32

       So that's what 'Greeking' is......here I'd always thought that it had
    something to do with sexual perversions.

    (LL)oyd Pulley

    Message: 53280
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 19:07:13

    Talk about anally retentive!

    Message: 53281
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 19:46:11

    Stop being so analytical.

    Message: 53282
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: My Vacation
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 21:06:05

            We had a great vacation this year.  Last year we made a mistake and
    went to the mountains and streams but I learned from that experience.
    Driving back into the Phoenix desert was pure hell after being in the cool
    climate so this year we started our annual trek by visiting Gila Bend and
    staying a few days then we ventured on to Blythe where the weather was 116
    in the shade.  Well, we finally capped off our trip by visiting Death Valley
    and boy was it HOT.  Coming back into Phoenix was like visiting the
    Mountains and streams of last year.  Now, Phoenix feels cool and it was the
    best vacation we ever had.
                                    Rod

    Message: 53283
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cars
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 21:11:35

            I'll have to catch up on your conversation so I can respond in my
    usual left winged, slanted, style but in the meanwhile I had a thought about
    our great automobiles of this day and age.
            Asbestos is used for brake pad lining as is clutch disks and
    everytime someone 'brakes' for a stop, asbestos particles are released into
    our atmosphere.  Everytime a wind whips up the dirt and we take a breath, we
    are inhaling those particles along with so other bad stuff.  Asbestos causes
    cancer.
            I wonder how much longer until our society collapses?  The
    Christians have their rapture theory and I have my 'collapse of a poorly or
    over done system'.
                                            Rod

    Message: 53284
    Author: Allie Katz
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Woman's perspective
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 21:58:45

    I look through the messages on this bulletin board and see a lot of macho
    male chauvanism.  What you need is a woman's perspective.  I plan to stay
    around to provide that view.  So watch out.  By the way, I am a friend of JT
    from Washington.  He and I think nothing alike, however.  He is a right-wing
    conservative while I am a good progressive feminist.  However, I find him
    stimulating.  (Don't get the wrong idea, wise person.)  JT and I go out
    drinking and arguing from time to time and he has shown me this board and
    convinced me to call it.

    Message: 53285
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 23:29:08

    Do you know Sheri Holloway?

    Message: 53286
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: NSA
    Date: 07/24/88  Time: 00:00:57

    I met some fellows tonight from NSA, which stands for Nichiren Shoshu of
    America.  They want to bring about world peace and inner happiness through
    chanting.  All you have to do is say "NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO" on a regular
    basis.  That's pronounced:  nom-my-oh-ho-ren-gay-ky-oh.  Go ahead, try it.
    Good!  Let's bring about peace on Apollo BBS.

    All together now!

    Chant,

         NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO

         NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO

         NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO

         NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO

         NAM-MYOHO-RENGE-KYO

    Message: 53287
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Religion
    Subject: CHANTS
    Date: 07/24/88  Time: 00:17:47

    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN
    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN
    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN
    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN
    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN
    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN
    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN
    OYK-EGNER-OHOYM-MAN

    Rev. Beau
    (P.S. Saying it backwards will bring about the enlightenment of Taranto)

    Bulletin Board command:EC

    You chose Chit Chat

    Subject:Editorial

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        There was an editorial in the Phoenix Republic several days ago that
     2:dealt with students around the nation and their freedom of speech.  In one
     3:paragraph they described an editor of a California University at Northridge
     4:who was suspended for two weeks.  The fellow they were talking about was
     5:James Taranto.
     6:
     7:end

    Edit command:S

    Saving message...
    The message is 53288

    Bulletin Board command:J

    *=* Journey to a SIG *=*

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      istians of Apollo
    $ mos and Beyond
      ale Lair
    $ e Night Apollo
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      DOS SIG
      ic SIG II
      ntom Zone
    $ lic BBS
    $*re "GEMINI"
      -80 SIG
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    $* Below Normal

    Journey to which SIG:JWAY

    *=* WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board entered *=*

    WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:RC1-

    Press  to abort

    Message: 1
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Mighty SYSOPs
    Subject: Welcome
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 12:42:29

            If you are reading this, you must be a member of this SIG and that
    means you are WAY below normal.... (that means there is something WRONG with
    you)....  Here we hope to potty train you for the real world and get your
    message quality up where it belongs. (above sewer level)

            Good luck and I hope you all graduate soon.

    Message: 2
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Mighty SYSOPs
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 13:20:07

            whi am i in hear?

    Message: 3
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Hawley Crock Smith
    Subject: Hey!
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 20:30:37

    How come no, "Cliff anus licker", or "Sandy cesspool sucker" categories?
    You two are the lowest here!  You degenerates.

    Message: 4
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Rod - 60's Hippie
    Subject: time
    Date: 07/15/88  Time: 03:36:58

    Hey, it's about TIME you got your own category, dude.

    Message: 5
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Annie the ASSp
    Subject: Cliffart
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 09:14:42

    What a bad deal this is. We all have our own terrible categories and you and
    that Sysopette of yours has none. I cry foul. And how can you have this sort
    of sig. without JT being in it too? He is the king of insults (except maybe
    Mike Farter!) If anyone is Way below Normal - he is! Anyway - lets be fair
    and see some simular categories for you and your lovely wifey! Examples: -
    (S)andy Sunken Chest   and  (C)liff the small or some such types. Only fair!
    Right now if we wish to address you or Sandy we only have such things to use
    as (Z)ak Drools - (couldn't you come up with something better than that?) Or
    I'd have to insult one of my frinds like using (N)ick the Dickless! By the
    way - how do you know that? Been peeking? I always knew you were sort of
    wierd. Why am I being so brave? If I'm gonna be put in the Zone anyway - I
    might as well go in for a purpose. Hey - you missed something! When you put
    us in the Zone - if you want to really make it hell for us - send in James
    White too! Or would that be hell for him? Hahahahah =*--ANNIE THE FANNY--*=

    Message: 6
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Annie the ASSp
    Subject: All of youse
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 09:18:07

    Goodby friends! After that last 'sysop insulting message' - I may never get
    out of the Zone! Please write me c/o Hades - P.O. box 666, Zone Arizona.
    =*--ANNIE THE PURE--*=

    Message: 7
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Mighty SYSOPs
    Subject: Answer for ASSp
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 17:38:26

            As you see, we SYSOPs do have a category... After all we are the
    'Mighty' Gods of Apollo.
            Do you really feel James Taranto belongs on this SIG?  If so, do you
    have a Category in mind for him that is fitting?
            As to how I know about Nick....I just asked our resident Cock Smith,
    Mr James Hawley.... he knows all about that sort of thing.  Besides, I do
    recall in that last big story on the VOId, it was amputated!
            I was thinking of bringing A-L-A-N Hamilton on this SIG since he is
    also WAY below normal....but have not been able to think of an A-L-A-N Elf
    Category for him.  Any ideas?

    Mighty SYSOP

    Message: 8
    Author: $ Dean McCarron
    Category: Wesson Oil Dean
    Subject: Hmmmm. . .
    Date: 07/16/88  Time: 23:53:46

    I don't know about this category!

    Dean

    Message: 9
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Wesson Oil Dean
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 03:19:39

    It almost makes you sorry that you log in, doesn't it?

    Message: 10
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Nick the Geek!
    Subject: Cliff and Sandy
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 03:20:42

    Get a life.  Mighty God Sysops, ha!

    Message: 11
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Annie the ASSp
    Subject: Mighty Sysop???
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 11:29:25

    We are at your mercy - you that have preached fairness all these years. It
    is only fair that you and the Sysopette have 'like' categories. It also
    isn't fair that me, James, Nick and Mike have such horrid ones and Dean,
    Alan, Rod and Zak have such 'cutsy' ones either! This should be called the
    '(M)ighty Sysop speaks sig.'! And anyway - if you two are not Way Below
    Average - what are you doing here? When are you gonna start teaching us how
    to be normal? Lets have lesson number one tomorrow. I'm all for teaching JT
    a lesson - on anything! =*--ANNIE THE FANNY--*=

    Message: 12
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Elf A-L-A-N
    Subject: Figures, don't it?
    Date: 07/17/88  Time: 14:25:40

        Just dropped in here for a minute.  I have to go off and frolic in the
    forest for a while.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 13
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Zak Drools
    Subject: slobber
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 01:13:32

    sssscchLURP.  I *DO NOT* drool!  I've just attained such a high level of
    skill that I can spit VERY SLOWLY!

    Once in HIGH school (a misnomer, DUDE) a teacher was giving after-class
    tutoring in TRIGONOMETRY.  He drooled on my homework!  It was grody.  A big
    drop of mastication fluid, right there on my sin wave graph!  A big, dark
    circle of unwipable cheek juice on my nice crisp piece of notebook paper!
    SH*T!!!  Both the teacher and myself pretended not to notice, but no amount
    of pretending could take away the embarassment of the moment, the sheer
    discomfort of it all.  Needless to say, it was one moment that was WAY BELOW
    NORMAL...  I never asked for help again in that class, and my grade dropped
    from an A to a, well, let's just say that my grade was a lot closer to Z
    than it was before, OK?  THIS IS WHY I am NOW an ART/PSYCHOLOGY major and
    not an ENGINEERING/STATISTICIAN major, and why my income bracket after
    graduation has decreased by almost 40%!

    I HATE DROOL!  DROOL SUCKS!!!  CHANGE MY CATEGORY!!!

    Please send suggestions for a NEW, IMPROVED Zak Woodruff category to:
          NEW CATEGORY CONTEST
          999 W. Drip Dry Ave.
          Peenix, AZ 2775058

    Go ahead, SEND 'EM IN!  Hurry up.  (THIS MEANS YOU, THIS MEANS *NOW*.)

    Message: 14
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Zak Drools
    Subject: Zakey Baby
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 13:07:40

    Here is my entry ---- (Z)ak music expert or --

                          (S)uper Zak

    =*--ANNIE THE FANNY--*=

    Message: 15
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Annie the ASSp
    Subject: Mighty Sysop
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 13:08:28

    I love JT's category. =*--ANNIE THE FANNY--*=

    Message: 17
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Nick the Geek!
    Subject: ^^^^^^^
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 02:28:26

    How can David have entered a message when he isn't even on this SIG?
    Something is fishy here...

    Message: 18
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Elf A-L-A-N
    Subject: Huh!
    Date: 07/23/88  Time: 21:17:20

    Far out, dudes?

    Message: 19
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Hawley Crock Smith
    Subject: this category
    Date: 07/24/88  Time: 00:04:51

    Didn't it used to be COCKSMITH?

    And why doesn't Petrisko have a category?

    How about, "Peter pontificates"?

    Message: 20
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Mighty SYSOPs
    Subject: answer for last...
    Date: 07/24/88  Time: 00:34:32

            I was forgetting he does not have a Cock, but he is full of Crock.

            Also Peter Petrisko is to high in intelligence to qualify for this
    SIG.   Sorry Morrons!

    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

    WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:JVOI

    *=* Journey to a SIG *=*

    *=* VOID Bulletin Board entered *=*

    VOID Bulletin Board command:RC

    Message to read (1418-1467):

    VOID Bulletin Board command:RC-

    Message to read (1418-1467):1467-

    Press  to abort

    Message: 1467
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Life in general
    Subject: Story .....
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:06:12

            Sandy watches as Cliff struts around the clouds throwing his
    shoulders back and waving his hands above his head.
            "I am the Mighty Apollo Sysop!" shouts Cliff over and over.
            "Calm down, dear. These quest seekers are not your ordinary BBS
    users. They have been endowed with gifts. Be kind to them, please. You may
    never know when you may need their help." remarks Sandy in a cautious tone.
            "I am the Mighty Apollo Sysop! ....... No one has ever left the ZONE
    without my permission ...... no one!" Cliff wipes the drool from the corners
    of his mouth, walks over to the edge of the sky and watches the Quest
    seekers scroll through the ZONE. Mumbling under his breath Cliff

    remarks in a contemptuous tone, "Why did they eat my Cheetos? Why?"
            With no notice Dean appears from the ZONE quite angry to have been
    forced into another quest. Will he ever accomplish what he set out to do?
    Ah, but these seekers are wise. Dean showing his might by leaving the ZONE
    first.
            And now .........

    VOID Bulletin Board command:RC

    Message to read (1418-1467):

    VOID Bulletin Board command:RC

    Message to read (1418-1467):1418-

    Press  to abort

    Message: 1418
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Sandy & James
    Date: 06/27/88  Time: 19:18:54

    James is gonna meet you at your office? Do I smell a topic for a story?
    I can see it now ----- Sandy and James in her office. Cliff comes home early
    and catches them .......

    Message: 1419
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/01/88  Time: 17:14:23

            Well, ...... we met at the office, but it was Gemini's office.
    Us poor defense lawyers have to take what we can get, you know.

    Message: 1420
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: trial
    Date: 07/01/88  Time: 17:47:20

            The statues of limitation will run out on this thing if we do not
    act soon.

    Message: 1421
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last couple
    Date: 07/01/88  Time: 18:45:20

    We need to find someone who is impartial to be judge.

    Message: 1422
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/01/88  Time: 21:32:46

    James Taranto?

    Message: 1423
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/02/88  Time: 00:22:16

            You have to be kidding, eh?  How about Beau Dog, then?

    Message: 1424
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Judge...
    Date: 07/02/88  Time: 01:13:12

            I would be more than happy to be an impartial judge....
                            Then we can hang his guilty ass!

    Message: 1425
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/02/88  Time: 04:19:23

    I don't have a donkey.

    Message: 1426
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Question?
    Subject: The last few
    Date: 07/02/88  Time: 07:41:37

    'What De Fug' (tm Daryl W.) are all of you talking about? Did I miss
    something here? Who's guilty ass is gonna be hung? =*--ANN--*=
    P.S. Have you started a new story without me?

    Message: 1427
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/02/88  Time: 13:08:43

    We're still discussing the trial to decide whether Hawley owes Cervelli
    money.  Come on, Ann, WAKE UP!  That's what you get for logging on at
    7:41 am.

    Message: 1428
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: David
    Date: 07/02/88  Time: 13:40:44

    Oh that! =*--ANNIE THE FANNY--*=

    Message: 1429
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Mortal users
    Subject: Court Case
    Date: 07/03/88  Time: 02:31:05

    Well I think it was settled out of court.  B.D. payed Cervelli the $20,
    proving that I didn't owe him the money.

    Message: 1430
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: money
    Date: 07/03/88  Time: 13:18:38

    Sorry, I don't think that proves anything. Since I am involved in this,
    however, I don't think I should try to be the judge.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 1431
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Beau
    Date: 07/03/88  Time: 16:30:45

            I said that I would give you $5. of the settlement.  I saw you last
    evening but I forgot.  Catch you next time.

    Message: 1432
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/04/88  Time: 10:29:05

    Thanks, Rod. Dean McCarron is supposed to be in for $10.  I don't remember
    your offer, but I will accept it.

    Message: 1433
    Author: $ Dean McCarron
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last. . .
    Date: 07/04/88  Time: 10:31:31

    I'm still in.  Where do I send the money?

    Dean

    Message: 1434
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Court Case
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 14:28:01

            Sorry, guys .....................

    Nick, the prosecuting attorney, and I, the Attorney for the Defense, met at
    Tower Records and settled out of court.

    Message: 1435
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Court Case
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 20:11:42

    You owe me $8.00 for jury duty.

    I was the impartial one. Just cause Hawley and I are buddies, didn't mean a
    thing.

    At least we WERE friends, cheapskate!

    Carol->

    Message: 1436
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: question
    Date: 07/06/88  Time: 20:19:58

    Has anyone seen Steve MacGregor?   Little Anastasia was asking.

    Also, anyone hear from Mark A.?

    It was a dark and stormy night. James was driving down the lonely highway,
    thinking only of Pepsi and Chitos and his new D & D game. He looked out of
    the window and saw, what he thought to be, a tornado, heading right for
    the highway.

    "Ye Gads," he yelled, eyeing the ditch on the side of the road and wondering
    if he could drive the van into it at the speed he was traveling. He started
    braking, braking, and then, right in front of him he saw a creature with
    long white robes who had his/her arms stretched up to the sky...James braked
    some more, then remembering that Ann was fast asleep in the back of the van,
    yelled, swerved, swore and the van starting tipping as the wind's velocity
    started increasing.....it was like a million Iranians were attacking the
    van...James screamed like a Banshee Indian because he saw, oh, my Bob, he
    saw........

    Message: 1437
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Carol
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 01:04:19

    I think the DA office owes you the $8.  (Hey!  I don't LIKE Cheetos!)

    Message: 1438
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story-cont.
    Date: 07/07/88  Time: 14:14:17

            ..... A big bag of Cheetos being drawn out of the sky by the image
    in the white robes.
            James was able to slow his Van down. He managed a rather safe stop
    along the edge of the road. James turned around to wake Ann.
            "Ann, Ann!" shouted James. "Come on, Ann, we don't have much time."
            A strange feeling came over James ..... he looked over his shoulder
    and witnessed his entired Van being covered with the Big Bag of Cheetos that
    were taken from the sky.
            "Oh, no!" thought James. "Am I going to have to eat my way out this
    mess?"
            Ann woke up to a cheeto colored sky. After James briefed her of the
    strange happenings of the the white robed image Ann suggested ........

    Message: 1439
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 09:29:49

    ... that he start eating those Cheetoes or they'd never get out of there. So
    James started eating them even though he hated the taste.
    "Who was that White robed figure you saw James?"
    "Crunch, chew, munch, gag -- I dunno (choke) but I have an idea Ann"!
    "Well for lords sake James, stop eating those damned Cheetoes long enough to
    tell me will you?"
    James glared at her, but answered between bites. "I didn't really get a good
    look, but who else could it be but .....

    Message: 1440
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/08/88  Time: 11:42:12

    ... My evil twin.  He's always getting me in trouble, and I have to take the
    blame for all the stuff.  Nobody ever believes that's not me, so I just have
    to take the rap.  He spits out the mouthful of Cheetos (TM), and gets out of
    the van.  And there under the left front tire is a body!  The feet had on a
    pair of ruby red sneakers.  Somehow the shoes looked kind of familiar.  From
    out of the East came a dark, ominous cloud.  And out of the cloud
    appeared...

    Message: 1441
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: APPEARED
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 01:12:47

    Mighty Mouth!!!

    Message: 1442
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Fun & Games
    Subject: Spaz
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 03:58:32

    I was thinking, why don't we give her a call and try to arrange a GT?

    Message: 1443
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 07:01:25

    James and Ann were in total awe of Mighty Mouth as he decended from the
    clouds. They both fell to their knees in a worshipful pose.
    "Drat!" said James.
    "Whats the matter"?
    "I knelt in these damned Cheetoes and they got my pants dirty!"
    "Never mind the Cheetoes James. We are in the presence of greatness and all
    you can think about is your pants getting dirty. Will you please pay
    attention?"
    James mumbled under his breath, but turned his attention to Mighty Mouth.
    The clouds were parting and silver and gold beams of light played around
    their faces and their eyes shown bright in their adoration.
    Mighty Mouth landed right in front of them - his white robe flowing in the
    breeze like gossomer wings of an Angel. He looked down on them with loving
    benevolence.
    Ann could not keep looking at such beauty and lowered her eyes. But James
    started peering closer and couldn't believe his eyes when he realized who
    Mighty Mouth really was.
    "Well I'll be damned" he thought. "Thats ......

    Message: 1444
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 22:39:21

    ....  that's..."  He couldn't hardly say it.

    "That's....  Vanna White!?"

    Message: 1445
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/09/88  Time: 23:51:37

    He couldn't believe what he was thinking....he glanced over at Ann and her
    eyes were still downcast. 'Hey, dummy,' he whispered, giving her a nudge
    with his elbow....'look who we got here.'

    Slowly Ann, the shy one, glanced upwards and saw for herself the glorious
    face of Mighty Mouth.....'oh, my Lawd,' she exclaimed.....then lowering her
    voice, she whispered to the crutty kid with the fat knees, 'It's Robert
    Redford....none other, than that beautiful Robert Redford...' She began
    trembling.

    The CK with the FK looked at her like she was crazy. 'You got bats in your
    head, gal...that, that is VANNA WHITE.'

    Meanwhile, back in the sky, the vision of beauty was becoming impatient.
    'How long do you expect me to hold this pose, you jerks?'

    'Well, you don't have to get hostile,' snapped Ann, getting up from her
    worshipful pose and brushing the cheeto crumbs from her jeans...The CK with
    the FK started roaring with laughter as he arose....'Cliffy!' he yelled.
    'Did you find the rocket?'

    Cliff started soaring, higher and higher, and off in the distance, anyone
    within two miles could have heard him screaming, 'Why, you.......'

    Message: 1446
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 05:05:35

    ... dork!  You used the same epoxy as you did on the Apollo II rocket!  It's
    going to fly apart at any second."  As he said this ....

    Message: 1447
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/10/88  Time: 07:17:17

    ... the rocket choose to start caughing and sputtering. It finally jerked to
    a halt about 500 feet above Ann and James and then slowly started it's
    decent. Cliff was sill screeming expletives, the likes of which Ann and
    James had never heard. HE cames down with a sickening 'thud' on the soft
    pile of Cheetoes. They both ran over to him and were happy to find he wasn't
    hurt. But it was obvious by the look of his red face that he was furious.
    Before he could say a thing, James said "What the hell you doing Cliff in
    that garb? Playing God again?"
    Cliff stood up, brushing himself off and glared at him.
    "You bet I am a god - the god of Apollo you idiot."
    "You ain't no god Cliff" piped Ann. "If you were, that rocket wouldn't have
    crashed with you on it!"
    "Shut up woman! I didn't build this stupid rocket - James did. If I had a
    hand in it, it would have blasted off perfectly!"
    James went over and looked at what was left of the rocket. He turned towards
    Cliff and said "No Cliff, I did not build this rocket. I had nothing to do
    with it."
    "If that's the case, then who did?" Cliff asked between clinched teeth.
    "See this marking on the side here?" James pointed to a piece of metal that
    had what looked like to be the numbers '666' written on it. "Everyone that
    has a brain in their head would know this is the trademark of ......

    Message: 1448
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 13:34:04

            .......of Playboy."
    "No, no," said Ann. "Can't you remember anything, James? The trademark of
    Playboy is -- sex, sex, sex -- not 666."

            "I stand corrected," replied James. "You are a real Cheeto. You know
    that?"

            Before Ann could tell the Mighty god Apollo SySop who she thought
    had made the rocket, Cliff noticed the body underneath James' Van. Cliff was
    paying special notice to the Ruby Red Sneakers.

            "First, you try to eat all my Cheetos. Then you accuse someone else
    of ruining my rocket. And now THIS.........!" Cliff's voice rises in anger
    as he waves his hand over James and Ann. "For this I shall .........."

    Message: 1449
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 14:23:13

            For this I shall ..... put you James Hawley and you Ann Oudin
    into the dreaded "PHAntom ZONE" on the 15th day of this month.  And the SIG
    of INSults will fall from the sky into the great VOId of lost messages.
            Behold the power of the "Mighty" SYSOP........

            With those words, the SYSOP vanishes in a puff of greasy blue smoke
    and a loud clap of thunder......

            The Body under James' Van began to come to life, James and Ann could
    hear a muffled voice pleading for help, as the Ruby Red Sneakers wiggled
    about, as if the person below was trying to tap the heals together.
    Just at that time, the Van began to heave and ........

    Message: 1450
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: ... and ...
    Date: 07/11/88  Time: 20:42:27

    suddenly, the Van flew in the air, as if some magical force from beyond had
    picked it up like a child's toy and threw it across the room.  Ann could not
    believe who was under the van.  He seemed a little bewildered, but not near
    as confused as James, who was shocked to see the person wearing the Ruby Red
    sneakers.

    It was Dean McCarron.  In his hand, was, of course, a half empty (or is that
    half full?) bottle of Wesson oil.

    Message: 1451
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: story
    Date: 07/12/88  Time: 10:23:44

    "Oh no!" cries Ann. "Not the Wesson oil again! What have you got that
    for Dean"?
    Dean scrambles out from underneath the van and brushes off his ruby red
    sneakers. "You both know that I never did get even with Nick for that
    last 'Wesson Oil' episode. This time will be another story for sure"!
    James smirks and says "Oh yeah! And what pray tell do you intend to do
    to Nick"?
    "Never you mind James. That's between Nick and I. But I will be
    avenged"!
    "Well, you'd better get on with your 'avenging' Dean cause here comes
    'ole Nick' now"!
    All three turned to look up the road and could see Nick tooling along
    at 40 miles an hour in his beat up jeolopy. Ann's heart gave a lurch of
    pity for Nick because she knew it was her fault that he was in the
    shape he was in now. If only they hadn't raced their cars that one day
    three weeks back. If only he hadn't bet all that he had in the world on
    the race - if only he hadn't of had so much pride! She was recalling
    the race that was still vivid in her mind - the sharp turn that Nick
    didn't make - the ditch he plowed his car in - the total look of
    devastation on his face when he knew he had lost that race! And now,
    Dean was going to make Nick's life a bit worse with that Wesson Oil
    again. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Dean uncorking the
    bottle and .....

    Message: 1452
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: You Twit!
    Subject: Story.....
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 17:39:57

            witnessed Dean corking the bottle of Wesson Oil.
    "Nah," remarks Dean, "I'm not going to waste what is left of this precious
    Oil on Nick. I am on a journey and must finish my quest."

            "A quest?" inquires James.
            "A quest?" questions Ann.
            "A quest?" mumbles Nick as he plants his feet solidly into the
    ground to stop his 'car'.

            "Yes, a quest," responds Dean in a triumphant manner, "My quest was
    interupted by this confounded Van running over me."
            "Oh, no!" remarks James fearing for his life. "I did not mean to run
    you over, Dean. The wind, the black cloud, the ...," James studders and
    shakes with fear as he tries to visually recount the white robed figure.
    "The ..... the ...... the WHITE ROBED FIGURE!" exclaimes James.

            Dean makes his way towards James and comforts him. "I understand now
    what happened, James. It's not your fault you are too easy of a target."
    With that, Dean unselfishly gives James a drop of the precious Oil.
    "Take this, James. This is to show you that there are no hard feelings.
    You may need this Oil. Soon, some woman will say 'yes'."
    "Now, on with my quest."
    Just before Dean could clap the heels of his Ruby Red Sneakers Nick, kicking
    at the 'car' door, asks: "What is your quest?"

    Message: 1453
    Author: $ Dean McCarron
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: ...continued...
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 19:01:57

    "My Quest," Dean paused, "is to rescue the fairest maiden of the land
    from a most horrible fate!"
    The crowd gasped.
    "You don't mean. . ." said Nick.
    "Not, not, not her! You'll be killed!" said James.
    "You plan to rescue. . ." said Ann, completing the trio that can't
    complete sentences.

    "Yes," said Dean, Magic Oil in hand, "My Quest is to rescue the fair
    Princess Traci from the clutches of that nasty, fiendish. . .

    Message: 1454
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: ...continued...
    Date: 07/13/88  Time: 19:33:57

    "...Howerton?" asked Nick.
    "...Taranto?" inquired James Hawley.
    "...Woodruff?" queried Ann.
    "If you'll shut up, I'll tell you," Dean snapped.  "I'm going on a dangerous
    Quest to rescue Traci from... PETER CERVELLI!"
    The crowd gasped.  This may have been amazement, or may have had something
    to do with Hawley letting loose with a really putrid Cheeto burp.
    Dean grinned.  "Anyone want to come along?"

    Message: 1455
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: story
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 00:43:03

    'Count me in,' said Princess Carol....'Looks like you guys need a chaperone,
    and since I know nothing about what you are talking about, I love it!'

    Jimi shook his head in shocked jello-like quivers. 'Oh, yeah! Carol, anyday
    that you get out of your palace in Scootsdale and pal around with us
    peons....that'll be the day.'

    'james, what's buggin' you?' she asked....'can't a princess have
    a Quest-on?'

    'Shaddup, James,' snapped Dean....'She's the first volunteer and I say,
    she's in...now, who else?  who else?  Hurry up, I haven't got all year....'

    'Just one question, Dean,' shyly asked Carol. 'Does Traci WANT to be
    rescued????'

    Dean turned a vivid shade of red, 'Why......' he spluttered, 'Why......uh,
    uh, (gotta get that line to wrap)......Sandy started smirking..and Cliffy
    shouted 'EXPLETIVES .....and

    Message: 1456
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/14/88  Time: 07:18:44

    .... Ann looked puzzled at the whole conversation. "Peter? Why would she
    want to be rescued from him? From what I've heard, he's very intelligent. He
    also has cute buns too!?
    Nick looked at Ann and said "you must be talking about the wrong Peter."
    "Never mind that. I've got to save the 'fairest in the land' and I think
    that's Traci. Who else could it be?" Says Dean.
    Ann and Sandy spoke at the same time - "well, now, I don't know about that"!
    James interrupted them. "Listen. I'll tell you who the 'fairest' is! She's
    pure of heart - beautiful and sexy and I love her!"
    "Who is that?" asked Cliff.
    "We all know her. It's ...........

    Message: 1457
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 00:48:01

    ...it's...it's...Michelle Reynolds, the fairest in the land, and the
    hairiest in the hand, as in the palm."  James' tone was calm.  "She's not
    really that fair, actually.  So I exaggerated a bit.  But she's pretty damn
    pleasant, a real looker."
    "She's a real hooker?" inquired Ann, whose ears were tinny as a can.  "Can
    it be true?"
    "Oh Ann.  Catch a clue!"  squelched Cliff, and then he belched, and scared
    Ann stiff.  "Michelle is a FINE young girl."
    Meanwhile, James was munching on some Cajun Chips.  "Cheetos are bland; why,
    they're made for dips."
    "What?!" cried Ann.  "I thought chips were for dips!"
    "Silly Oudin!" responded James, whilst munching down.  "Catch a clue!"
    Ann's grin turned to a frown, and one could tell even from a long and
    winding distance that this poor lady was feeling quite blue.
    All this talk about long, puffy things (the Cheetos) was making Sandy hot
    under the collar.  She beat her chest, and belted out a gruesome Tarzan-yell
    holler.  Cliff's senses were aroused by this act of bestiality, but his
    implorable timidity and impending senility coupled with his lack of sobriety
    were the impurity that caused the eventuality of Cliff's temeretrous litany.
    [We now pause for this paid message.  This is Zak.  Sorry if I f***ed up
    your story.  OK.  We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.]

    Meanwhile...

    Message: 1458
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/18/88  Time: 19:51:07

    I think you mean 'temerarious litany'.

    Rev. Beau

    Message: 1459
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 09:14:40

    Beauy, are you TECHNICAL!

    Message: 1460
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 17:57:50

    If 'temeritry' were a word, it still wouldn't be an ADJECTIVE, which is what
    you were looking for there. 'temeretrous', perhaps. Heh heh.

    Message: 1461
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/19/88  Time: 23:26:10

    OK, I updated the message.  It says "temeretrous".  Now SHUT UP, MUTT!

    Message: 1462
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 00:03:28

            The SYSOP waves his powerfull hand over the keyboard making Ann,
    James, Nick, and Dean disappear into the murky depths of the PHAntom Zone.
            The results of this will continue here on the VOId.... if they come
    back.

    (sinister laugh)

    Message: 1463
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: You Twit!
    Subject: you ignored
    Date: 07/20/88  Time: 23:41:56

    ME!   Will I not have the joys of the Phantom Zone with the others, or is it
    cause I was the princess?

    Princess Carol-H

    Message: 1464
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Wish comes true....
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 00:08:03

            I grant thy wish Princess Carol-H

            With that and a puff of greasy blue smoke, Carol vanishes into the
    Zone....

    Message: 1465
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: zoned out
    Date: 07/21/88  Time: 02:11:56

    Adios, bendejos.  I guess the story will be dying down a bit now that all
    the main contributors are gone.  I hope that when you all come back, you
    will be so filled with creative energy that you will actually develop the
    characters and maintain a feasible plot.  Thanks.

    Message: 1466
    Author: $ Traci Sibel
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Cliff
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 06:05:13

    Did you spare me from the dark dungeons because I am the fairest in the
    land?
    (not complaining by ANY meaans)
    Traci

    Message: 1467
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Life in general
    Subject: Story .....
    Date: 07/22/88  Time: 13:06:12

            Sandy watches as Cliff struts around the clouds throwing his
    shoulders back and waving his hands above his head.
            "I am the Mighty Apollo Sysop!" shouts Cliff over and over.
            "Calm down, dear. These quest seekers are not your ordinary BBS
    users. They have been endowed with gifts. Be kind to them, please. You may
    never know when you may need their help." remarks Sandy in a cautious tone.
            "I am the Mighty Apollo Sysop! ....... No one has ever left the ZONE
    without my permission ...... no one!" Cliff wipes the drool from the corners
    of his mouth, walks over to the edge of the sky and watches the Quest
    seekers scroll through the ZONE. Mumbling under his breath Cliff

    remarks in a contemptuous tone, "Why did they eat my Cheetos? Why?"
            With no notice Dean appears from the ZONE quite angry to have been
    forced into another quest. Will he ever accomplish what he set out to do?
    Ah, but these seekers are wise. Dean showing his might by leaving the ZONE
    first.
            And now .........

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