### Apollo BBS Archive - July 29 - 30, 1988

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    Message: 3939
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/28/88  Time: 22:38:40

    The way I heard it, he overdosed on caffiene, started screaming "Sam
    Donaldson is the great Satan!" and threw pretzels at everyone until Ann
    punched him.
    It's probably just a rumor.

    Message: 3940
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: todd
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 02:23:19

    Were their nipples bleeding?

    Message: 3941
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Believe it or not!
    Subject: Last few?
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:05:51

            Some of this may be more suited fio the mos SIG......   Guys!

    Message: 3942
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Sandy on Todd
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:32:59

    Did you see the insult Todd threw at us about exotic dancing? He lies about
    going to our place of business because he would have been in awe, not
    laughing! =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 3943
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Believe it or not!
    Subject: Todd
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 13:13:37

            Statistics will show that Todd will be experiencing a very painful
    slow lingering death.

    Message: 3944
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Cliff
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 21:39:45

    Yeah, you're right.  I shouldn't mention Sam Donaldson except on the Cosmos
    SIG.

    Message: 3945
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Sandy TOPOFF
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 20:36:51

    Not true!  "Zap -- you're dead!" is totally merciful and painless.

    Message: 3946
    Author: $ Todd Reese
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Rumors
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 20:42:20

    I must put the rumors to rest.  Actually, the reason I was laughing so hard
    was because of the show that followed Ann and Sandy's.  You see, it was
    ladies' night, and Cliff and Paul Savage were up there "dancing" (who goes
    to see the steps?) around. Cliff had this pair of bikini underwear on that
    read "Mighty Apollo SYSOP."

    Of course, I wasn't laughing near as hard as the women in the audience.

    Message: 3947
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Todd
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 00:49:14

            Anyone want to take bets on how long it will take Todd to drop to
    his knees in the ntom Zone?

    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

    Message: 3948
    Author: $ Apollo SYSOP
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Classic Apollo
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 00:50:40

            It is on line for this weekend... just dial the store number and log
    in for a look at a BBS Classic... with some old posts.  Who knows, you may
    even have some old mail waiting there for you.

    *=* the 'Mighty' Apollo SYSOP *=*

    Message: 3949
    Author: $ Michelle Reynolds
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Bye.
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 02:00:19

    Bye all. Take Care in this World.
    Michelle
    .

    Message: 3950
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Question?
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/31/88  Time: 02:41:09

    Where are you off to?
    $tatus Club Bulletin Board command:JN

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    Message: 918
    Author: $ Daryl Westfall
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Poetry
    Date: 07/28/88  Time: 23:35:57

    Joy, even in the saddest moments
    And a sense of calm even in
    Moments of chaos...
    Every man desires these qualities,
    Some even search to the ends of the Earth.

    To smile in the face of sorrow
    And to laugh in the face of pain
    Revel in the spoils of victory
    And to lose honorably
    Never to speak a harsh word or
    To judge another without judging yourself
    Old world values are sometimes the best.

    If you have all of these qualities,
    Surely you are a man of the world.

    And all of your dreams should be within your reach.

    Find yourself, find the person inside
    And help that person to grow, and to flourish
    Gather the seeds of happiness and plant them generously.

                               - D. Westfall

    Message: 919
    Author: $ Daryl Westfall
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/28/88  Time: 23:36:32

    Certainly not one of my better poems, but certainly one that provides a
    certain deal of gratification for me.

    Message: 920
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 03:26:03

    Wow, something creative on this SIG.  It's been a long time.

    Message: 921
    Author: $ Michael James
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: long time
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 08:22:43

    It's been a long time since I rock and rolled.

    Message: 922
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Review/Critique
    Subject: Daryl/poem
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:35:12

    That was a wonderful poem Daryl. Very moving. Makes me want to pick up my
    pen and start writing poetry again. Keep it up. =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 923
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Daryl's poem
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 21:43:55

    Pretty good.  I think my favorite of your poems was "Take My Hand."  I still
    have it on my hard disk; if you don't want to retype it I could upload it
    here.
    Let me know.  I'd go ahead and repost it now, but it is your work, so you
    decide.

    Creative Corner Bulletin Board command:JN

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    Message: 1678
    Author: $ Daryl Westfall
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Taranto, Re: PUB
    Date: 07/28/88  Time: 23:26:27

    Well, well, well... seems as if Roger Rabbit shit in your Raisin Bran this
    morning! What's the matter? Seems the only jokes you find funny are the ones
    that you make. Seems kinda boring, when you consider that you know the punch
    lines to all of them already. Oh, I'm sorry...didn't mean to offend you. I
    seriously thought those were jokes. I didn't realize that they were your
    attempts at rational thought. So solly.

    Message: 1679
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 02:28:10

    First of all, do you believe everything that "little birds" tell you?  Do
    you always talk to animals?  What ELSE do you do with animals, Ann?  Sicko.

    Second of all, if I was in town that weekend, it was a coincidence.  And a
    lucky one, too, for whoever it was that decided to let me take the credit.
    Which is fine with me.  Sure, I'll take the credit, why not?  I'll let
    everyone think I'm a wild, crazy guy with a wild, crazy sense of humor.  Why
    should I mind?

    Only the trouble is, the truth is:  IT WASN'T ME!

    Message: 1680
    Author: $ Lloyd Pulley
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Even more Jokes
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 07:36:27

          Did you hear about the guy who was arrested because dogs and
    cats mistook him to be a particular type of embroidery?  Yeah, they
    picked him up because...

         HE WAS CREWEL TO ANIMALS

    Message: 1681
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Zak the one!
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:46:26

    Several little birds told me! 'quack quack'

    Who would have such a mind as to do a 'thang' like that but  you?

    Who vowed revenge but you?

    Who is invented the expression AZZ Hore but you?

    Who sent me a sacreligious picture but you?

    Who does not appriciate Twisted Sister but you?

    Who stays up so late at night but you?

    Whos finger prints were on Thang but yours?

    These all add up to point the finger at the guilty party - you!

    I did not add them up at first and accused poor James Hawley of this
    dastardly deed. Why don't you give me a full confession?
    P.S. I will admit that my finger prints were all over Thang too - but I had
    to fondle it to see what it was made of you know! =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 1682
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Rod/'the word'!
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:48:10

    Being in with this group has taught me some bad words. I never used that
    before! =*--ANNIE THE FANNY--*=

    Message: 1683
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Questions
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 21:49:38

    Hmm, I dunno... could it be -- SATAN?!

    Message: 1684
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Daryl
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 21:50:11

    Don't be silly.  JT finds Cervelli's jokes funny too.

    Message: 1685
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 22:47:25

    Ann, I think we've found the HOLE in your reasoning.

    First of all, ducks are not "little birds".  Likewise, little birds do not
    go "quack quack".  Canaries - they're little birds.  Pigeons are even -
    little birds.  But ducks?  Uh uh.  I reccomend you subscribe to Ranger Rick.

    Secondly, you claim my fingerprints were all over the thang.  You can't be
    serious.  I was wearing gloves the whole time, honest!  Actually, since
    you've never met me, seen me, or talked to me, there is no way you could
    have my prints.  I am not on file at the police dept.  Unless....unless ROD
    gave them to you!  That traitor!

    Thirdly, why would I want to get revenge on you, SWEET LIL' ANNIE BABY?

    Fourthly, why are you being so secretive about your informants, i.e. the
    little birds who told you it was me?  Perhaps if I were able to confront
    him/her/them about it, they'd FESS UP!  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE OUT THERE.
    Probably a group-masterminded plot to set me up.

    Fifthly, Dee Snyder is butt-ugly.  You know that.  So what's the problem?

    Sixthly, you're just a big stubborn AZZ-HORE.

    Message: 1686
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 01:38:39

    I don't know what's worse --- Westfall's poems or your constant babbling.

    Message: 1687
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: NIck/cheer up!
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 08:17:03

    Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed this morning? On the BB you
    want to with hold medical help for people that cause their own health
    problems - then you cut Daryl's beautiful, sensitive poems down and now you
    say Zak (he has the worlds best sense of humor) is babbling. Anything else
    bothering you fellow? What's the matter? =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 1688
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Cosmos-Chatter
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 16:42:29

    Ack!

    The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:EA

    You chose Answer !

    Subject:Ann/THANG!

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        It was NOT Zak Woodruff who made and delivered the THANG to you.  I
     2:guarantee it.  Ann, you have the wrong person.
     3:end

    Edit command:S

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    The message is 1689

    Message: 1690
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer !
    Subject: Lastg
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 18:26:08

    Are you claiming responsibility?  How much is Zak paying you?

    The outer COSmos Bulletin Board command:EC

    You chose Cosmos-Chatter

    Subject:Hawley/last

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        No, I had nothing whatsoever to do with it (darn it).  I didn't find
     2:out until it had happened but I know for a fact that Zak was not the
     3:responsible party.  Only money can loosen my lips (or keep them closed).
     4:end

    Edit command:S

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    Message: 53378
    Author: $ Daryl Westfall
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Taranto
    Date: 07/28/88  Time: 23:21:07

    Take it to the mos SIG, sweetie.

    Message: 53379
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ann on Koop
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 04:32:36

    Koop's point is a valid one. He is saying that while a diet low in saturated
    fats and cholesterol will offer a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease,
    there are genetic factors to consider. If your family history shows little
    or no such illness, it is probably not necessary to severely restrict your
    intake of all fats. Simple moderation may be all that is called for. On the
    other hand, if heart disease and high serum cholesterol levels are common in
    your family, a diet severely limiting fat intake, as well as close
    monitoring of cholesterol is necessary.

    Message: 53380
    Author: $ Paul Savage
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: S.G. Koop
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 04:54:20

     He may admit to a poor diet, but he isn't dumb enough to smoke in the face
    of all the facts that have been scientifically proven concerning the hazards
    of the suicidal habit.
    Besides, all the man is doing is his job. Finding facts that affect the
    health of Americans and revealing them to the public.
    You're only upset because he has gored your ox.

    Message: 53381
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Paul/Poop
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:30:23

    I don't have a Ox! Koop is a fanatical Poop no matter what he says.
    =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53382
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Answer!
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 14:25:51

    Your statement makes no sense.

    Message: 53383
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 21:51:56

    What's new?

    Message: 53384
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 22:50:27

    I don't know.  What's new with you?

    Message: 53385
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Ann
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 01:36:18

    Maybe the government should refuse Medicare coverage to people who develop
    diseases related to constant abuse.

    Message: 53386
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Koop/health
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 06:21:05

       Sure, you may live longer if you follow the guidelines he layed down.
    But you won't enjoy it as much.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 53387
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Nick
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 08:08:41

    That's a good idea! Pass that law and punish them. Then they can do it to
    the alcholics, drug addicts, AIDS carriers and fat people! That'll stop
    them! =*--ANN--*=

    Message: 53388
    Author: $ Beauregard Dog
    Category: Joke
    Subject: Heard last night
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 11:45:04

    "Tattoo artist.  Those two words go together about as well as postal worker"

    Reverend Beauregard Jackson Culpeper Dog, Colonel, CSA, retired
    Last name:WILLIAMS

    Williams, Christian          Unlisted
    07/28/87  19:26:26    341
    C-64

    Williams, Eve                Unlisted
    04/04/87  20:50:15    68
    C-64

    Williams, Jim                Unlisted
    07/09/88  20:42:13    1104
    TRS80/ATARI

    Williams, Rod          (602) 266-0747
    07/28/88  22:07:09    860
    ATARI 1040 (2)

    Williams, Theodore           Unlisted
    02/09/88  17:41:45    0
    C-64

    Bulletin Board command:EC

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    Subject:Tobacco

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        I read in the Republic this morning that if tobacco became illegal
     2:that addicts of this drug would turn to crime just as heroin addicts do.
     3:        A cigatette smoker usually uses about 20 cigarettes per day but a
     4:herion addict only shoots up several times a day.  If heroin were made legal
     5:a lot of crime would not happen.  A heroin addict can function while on that
     6:drug just as a cigatette smoker can maintain.  Take nicotine away from a
     7:smoker and watch them freakout, same as with a heroin addict.  I heard it
     8:was more difficult to 'kick' heroin than tobacco.
     9:        A heroin addict that I know explained to me that when he wakes up in
    10:the morning, he feels like he has a cold and generally feels 'down'.  The
    11:first thing he wants is a 'fix' to put him 'right'.  The same applies to a
    12:nicotine user.
    13:        Both can function but both need their drug in order to do so.
    14:        Some day in the far distant future, it may be discovered that
    15:mankind was addicted to animal meat and other animal protein such as cheese
    16:and milk.  Certainaly, if humans gave these substances up, many would die
    17:but the remainder, the survivors, would have bodies like we would not
    18:believe.  We would be lighter, stronger, and more intelligent.  We would not
    19:have to send these substances through our system as they slow us down with
    20:weight and make us hotter from digestion.
    21:        Perhaps someday, far from now, humans will not need to visit the
    22:toilet as often as he does now.           ADDICTS ALL!         Rod
    2 lines left
    23:end

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    The message is 53389

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    Message: 53389
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Tobacco
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 18:19:14

            I read in the Republic this morning that if tobacco became illegal
    that addicts of this drug would turn to crime just as heroin addicts do.
            A cigatette smoker usually uses about 20 cigarettes per day but a
    herion addict only shoots up several times a day.  If heroin were made legal
    a lot of crime would not happen.  A heroin addict can function while on that
    drug just as a cigatette smoker can maintain.  Take nicotine away from a
    smoker and watch them freakout, same as with a heroin addict.  I heard it
    was more difficult to 'kick' tobacco than heroin.
            A heroin addict that I know explained to me that when he wakes up in
    the morning, he feels like he has a cold and generally feels 'down'.  The
    first thing he wants is a 'fix' to put him 'right'.  The same applies to a
    nicotine user.
            Both can function but both need their drug in order to do so.
            Some day in the far distant future, it may be discovered that
    mankind was addicted to animal meat and other animal protein such as cheese
    and milk.  Certainaly, if humans gave these substances up, many would die
    but the remainder, the survivors, would have bodies like we would not
    believe.  We would be lighter, stronger, and more intelligent.  We would not
    have to send these substances through our system as they slow us down with
    weight and make us hotter from digestion.
            Perhaps someday, far from now, humans will not need to visit the
    toilet as often as he now does.           ADDICTS ALL!         Rod

    Bulletin Board command:EC

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    Subject:last

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:If heroin were as available and as legal as cigarettes, I doubt if the
     2:problem would be noticed except perhaps longer death notices in the
     3:newspapers.  As it stands now, our homes are being broken into at an
     4:alarming rate because of the high price of heroin.  Methadone, a drug which
     5:is used to get addicts off heroin is more addicting than heroin and in order
     6:for the addict to get high, all he has to do is take two doses together.
     7:                                Rod
     8:end

    Edit command:C

     8:P.S.  As for the longer 'death notices', I may be incorrect as the lives
     9:which are saved from the robberies may offset this.
    10:end

    Edit command:S

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    The message is 53390

    Bulletin Board command:R53390

    Message: 53390
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 19:06:28

    If heroin were as available and as legal as cigarettes, I doubt if the
    problem would be noticed except perhaps longer death notices in the
    newspapers.  As it stands now, our homes are being broken into at an
    alarming rate because of the high price of heroin.  Methadone, a drug which
    is used to get addicts off heroin is more addicting than heroin and in order
    for the addict to get high, all he has to do is take two doses together.
                                    Rod
    P.S.  As for the longer 'death notices', I may be incorrect as the lives
    which are saved from the robberies may offset this.

    *=* Journey to a SIG *=*

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    Message: 43
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Zak Drools
    Subject: AIDS
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 02:39:03

    Gee, Rod, maybe you should've made the tea with condoms instead of tea-bags.

    I hear they're coming out with condoms for women.  They're like diaphrams,
    except with looser springs...

    WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:ER

    You chose Rod - 60's Hippie

    Subject:Yeah, but...

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:When are they going to invent tongue condoms?  Did I say that?  Hmmmm.
     2:end

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    The message is 44

    Message: 45
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Rod - 60's Hippie
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 18:28:37

    They don't need tongue condoms.  They already have thin rubber sheets you
    can put over the vagina, or other places you want to lick.
    WAY Below Normal Bulletin Board command:JVOI

    Message: 46
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Zak Drools
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 20:23:10

    I believe they're called "rubber dams."

    Message: 47
    Author: $ Nick Ianuzzi
    Category: JT Intellect Bore
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 20:49:53

    Actually, their called "dental dams."

    *=* Journey to a SIG *=*

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    Message: 1473
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 00:37:26

    The power to....party poop!

    Message: 1474
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:55:35

    "Party Poop" ask Ann. "What do you mean by that?"
    Sandy interrupted. "Cliff has never pooped at a party yet Dean. Are you
    trying to start a nasty rumor"?
    "Are you implying that Cliff doesn't poop Sandy?" Ask Dean.
    "Of course he poops, but not at parties. He only poops when ......

    Message: 1475
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Last
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 09:56:32

    What do you expect when I have 'Party Poop' to work with? You rat Carol!

    Message: 1476
    Author: $ Sandy SYSOP
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 13:07:26

            ........when He gets darn good and ready too."

    With all that behind them ......

            "Now," remarks Dean. "I must continue on with my quest. All those
    who dare to join me ...... Hop into James' Van!" Dean waves his hands in a
    come hither fashion. "In to James' Van!"
            Nick pouts some wanting to know why Dean did not pick his 'vehicle'.
    Mean while the brave quest seekers busy themselves with trying to figure out
    how they can fit into James' Van. James is not known for throwing things
    away.
            "Stop that!" cries Ann as she brushes James hand away from her
    delicate little Be-Hind.
            "Come on, people," mumbles Dean. "I haven't got all day."
    As the last of the quest seekers squeezes into the Van, Dean prepares to
    clap the Ruby Red Sneakers together and whisk all into the Quest to end all
    Quests.
            Little did the quest seekers know that one of them snuck one of
    Cliff's Cheetos. This selfish act could very well spell the end.
            Dean looks about ....... satisfied that all is well .......
    clapps his Ruby Red Sneakers together and ...........

    Message: 1477
    Author: $ Ann Oudin
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 08:31:12

    ... and off they go, high into the clouds! They all wondered where Dean was
    taking them on their quest. They knew it had to be someplace really
    different - unique - wierd! What were they looking for? Why were they
    looking for it? It must be something very important because they were going
    very far!
    After a while, Sandy cried "LOOK! The clouds are parting a bit"!
    "Yes. They are and that place looks familiar" said Nick.
    Ann looked smug. "Ha! I should have guessed this is where Dean would take us
    on our quest. It's the wierdest, most decadent place on earth and also the
    hardest one to go on a quest in"!
    "It does look a bit familiar Ann" said Sandy, "But I can't see good enough
    to really tell."
    "My friends, this place is no other than 'Fruitcakeland' California! Good
    old Hollywood to those of you that don't know! Your really rotten Dean to do
    this to us!"
    Before Dean could reply, the van started decending very rapidly. Now they
    could all see clearly and where they were going to land.
    "Oh no" cried Cliff. "We're going to land right on ...........

    Message: 1478
    Author: $ James Hawley
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Story
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 09:38:29

    ... Dolly Parton sunbathing NUDE!  But she started turning over and
    deflected us into her large swimming pool.

    "Just as well, the van needed a good washing anyway", said James.

    "Have you ever washed that thang?", Ann asked.  James wasn't sure what she
    was talking about since his shorts had just slipped down.  Ann started
    smiling.  "I've seen that before.  If I could just remember where..."

    James jumps back in the van, and drives it out of the pool.  Dolly pulls her
    top on and comes over and starts flirting with Nick.  "I just LOVE guys who
    wear all black!", she said with a Southern purr.  "If only Johnny Cash
    weren't married."

    Nick starts to say something, but everyone jumps into the van.  "Hey, we're
    going to see the Carson show, want to come?", screams Ann in her raspy
    cigarette voice.

    Dolly hops in, and off they are to stand in line in the hot sun to get
    tickets!

    Message: 1479
    Author: $ Carol Graham
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: story
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 23:36:31

    "Whew!" says the Princess, 'it's sure getting hot in here!!"

    VOID Bulletin Board command:B

    *=* Bulletin Board entered *=*

    Bulletin Board command:R

    Message to read (53135-53389):53389

    Message: 53389
    Author: $ Rod Williams
    Category: Chit Chat
    Subject: Tobacco
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 18:19:14

            I read in the Republic this morning that if tobacco became illegal
    that addicts of this drug would turn to crime just as heroin addicts do.
            A cigatette smoker usually uses about 20 cigarettes per day but a
    herion addict only shoots up several times a day.  If heroin were made legal
    a lot of crime would not happen.  A heroin addict can function while on that
    drug just as a cigatette smoker can maintain.  Take nicotine away from a
    smoker and watch them freakout, same as with a heroin addict.  I heard it
    was more difficult to 'kick' tobacco than heroin.
            A heroin addict that I know explained to me that when he wakes up in
    the morning, he feels like he has a cold and generally feels 'down'.  The
    first thing he wants is a 'fix' to put him 'right'.  The same applies to a
    nicotine user.
            Both can function but both need their drug in order to do so.
            Some day in the far distant future, it may be discovered that
    mankind was addicted to animal meat and other animal protein such as cheese
    and milk.  Certainaly, if humans gave these substances up, many would die
    but the remainder, the survivors, would have bodies like we would not
    believe.  We would be lighter, stronger, and more intelligent.  We would not
    have to send these substances through our system as they slow us down with
    weight and make us hotter from digestion.
            Perhaps someday, far from now, humans will not need to visit the
    toilet as often as he does now.           ADDICTS ALL!         Rod

    Message: 53391
    Author: $ James Taranto
    Category: Question?
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/30/88  Time: 20:21:55

    Robberies save lives?

    Bulletin Board command:EA

    You chose Answer!

    Subject:last/Sorry

    Enter a line containing only an <*> to stop
     1:        Correction:  People who get mugged and sometimes killed by heroin
     2:addicts wouldn't be mugged or killed if drugs were legalized.  Is that any
     3:better?  I hope so.
     4:end

    Message: 1518
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Hey
    Date: 07/25/88  Time: 01:51:26

    Get some sleep already!

    Message: 1519
    Author: $ David Burkhart
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/25/88  Time: 03:42:31

    I can't sleep.  I spent too much time of the beach, and got a sunburn.  It
    was Black's Beach, so I hurt ALL OVER.
    Seriously, I kept my swimsuit on.  Most people there do; there's some places
    you don't want a sunburn.  That's a great beach though; not too crowded (at
    least compared to Pacific Beach or La Jolla Shores) and excellent surf.

    Message: 1520
    Author: $ Zak Woodruff
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: last
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 02:31:05

    Thanks David.  That is very interesting.

    Message: 1521
    Author: $ Alan Hamilton
    Category: Insomniac & inspired
    Subject: Last two
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 03:56:25

        Well, you could rub on some suntan lotion, but that has it's own little
    problems.

         /
     /  *  /  Alan
    *     *

    Message: 1522
    Author: $ Jim Lippard
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Black's Beach
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 23:16:51

    Probably it's not crowded because you have to walk forty miles down a damn
    mountain to get there.

    Message: 1523
    Author: $ Dean McCarron
    Category: Chit-Chat
    Subject: Black's Beach . . .
    Date: 07/29/88  Time: 23:32:25

    It's not crowded because everybody's partying over at my place. . .

    Seriously, I bought a place, but it's not finished yet, so that can't be the
    reason I have a life.

    Dean

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