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A Book Of Lists
Compiled By
Shooting Shark
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Call:
The Roman Forum 4153328-5916

Don't Call:
Speed Demon 4155522-3074

25 Gay names for a BBS:
(Sadly, all exist or existed)

1. Speed Demon
2. Commodore Kids
3. K-Mart (The Classified Ads board is probably called "Blue Light Specials")
4. Disk Byters
5. The Entertainment Network
6. The Commodore Cafe
7. The Gnome's Gnoll
8. The Oven
9. Apple Entertainment
10. Lobotomy
11. The Bull Board
12. Kraking Corner
13. Xevious
14. The Diner
15. The Bee Hive
16. Rock 'n' Roll Harbor
17. Gotham City
18. The Missing Link
19. Montezuma's Revenge
20. Defcon One

10 Cool Names for a system:
(all exist or existed)

1. Miami Vice Catsend
2. St. Elsewhere
3. The Private Sector
4. Adventurer's Tavern
5. The Black Market
6. Seven Cities Of Gold
7. The Cat's Den
8. The Trading Post
9. Sherwood Forrest
10. Agents Of Fortune

15 Stupid Handles:
(All are in use or have been used at one time)

1. The Albatross
2. The Disk Plummer (sic)
3. Mr Bud
4. Bud Man
5. The Reeper (sic)
6. Tightass Tom
7. John Rambo
8. He-Man
9. Skeletor
10. The Commodore Kid
11. Mr. Pirate
12. Black Flag
13. Three Rocks
14. Run Ready
15. The Pink Panther

20 Cool things:

1. Apple ][+'s lower case chips, at least 64k, and 80 columns
2. 128k /ees
3. Macintoshes
4. The Commodore Amiga
5. Appleworks
6. Locksmith 5.0
7. CH Joysticks
8. Apple ][ monitors
9. IBMs with at least 256k and color graphics
10. Cat-Fur
11. Apple Cats
12. Wild Cards
13. the Senior Prom for the /ee
14. Ramworks with 1 mb RAM
15. Siders
16. 20 mb Corvus hds
17. Mockingboards
18. ProDOS
19. Merlin
20. DDD ][

15 Un-Cool things:

1. Anything by Commodore besides the Amiga
2. Anything by Atari, including the 520st
3. DOS 3.2
4. Apple // monitors
5. Duodisks
6. Micromodem /ee's
7. Networker Modems
8. Unmodified Networks
9. Letter-Quality printers slower than 20 cps
10. Koala-Pads
11. John Maxfield (Cable Pair)
12. Wildcard /ee's
13. Upper Case
14. Any software by Sierra On-Line
15. Any show on CBS

The 8 worst BBS programs:
( 1 = worst )

1. Nexus
2. Unmodified Tele-Cat
3. Modified Tele-Cat
4. Unmodified Networks
5. GBBS
6. T-Net (if you're a sysop)
7. Applenet 2.2
8. PBBS

The 5 Best BBS programs:
( 1 = best )

1. Networks with all the mods
2. The Police Station's Software (RIP)
3. AppleNet 2.0 with all the mods
4. T-Net (if you're calling it)
5. HBBS (Well written, but don't ask me to call any HBBS systems)

"In denouncing any Handles or System names, I am not implying anything
about the characters or merits of those Handles and Systems. There are
some cool people who have Stupid Handles, and there are some cool
systems with Gay names."

In other words, don't come looking for me if you were offended by
anything you read here. I'm sure you're a nice person and all that, and
an obscure t-file isn't really going to hurt your ability to get high
access, run a decent board, get 750 on the verbal SAT, get girls, etc.
etc. etc.

Compiled 3 September 1985 By Shooting Shark
