>>Access Denied Publications Presents...

"SysOp Suicide! (A Day in the Life of a System Operator)"
By James C. Goldbloom

(@) March 1988. ADP, Inc.


P R E F A C E:

The daylight has not yet become visible and an illuminating glow from the
moon, resting low in the early morning sky, falls upon the keyboard and the
entanglement of varied wires, patchcords and plugs resting silently upon
the formica topped computer stand. The hour is fifteen minutes before six,
and the unconcious desire to yawn goes unnoticed by the cat stretched
solemnly on my lap, absorbed within intense sleep. The animal should be so
lucky, as I cannot close an eyelid after what I had been through the last
70 hours. There he sits, nevertheless, dreaming of catnip and front claws,
or whatever it is which worries spoiled felines. Here I sit, typing
mercilessly at the keyboard, in a vain attempt to describe in common text
just what being a System Operator (known as 'SysOp') encompasses. The words
do not adequately portray the emotional and physical requirements of this
often misunderstood and frequently expensive hobby known as online
telecommunications. I have four long, incredible years of frontline
battlefield existence, and the 'trenches' of the wonderous world of modems
are muddy, deep, and full of strange viruses which belittle the most stoic
of the online genre. For this is the night I disconnect the modem for the
last time, when I will place both backup and original user disks in never
ending storage, and for the first time in my life, use my word processor
without feeding programs and control codes through this aged modem. In
short, using simple and very carefully chosen wording, my days as SysOp are
no longer. This small contribution to the presently, and probably
eternally, unbuilt libraries of the Online Archives Building is my Last
Will and Testament, my final eulogy, my hyperbole laden memoirs of just
one 24 hour, mundane, typical day in the life of the poor being known as--
The SysOp. To these brave and electronically tormented individuals, it is
with respect I devote this text.


P A R T  O N E: "Starting a New Day"


The day in the life of a SysOp begins in the wee hours, when the toothpaste
tastes like Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, and beard stubble has grown on the
inside of your mouth. The crazy aspect of it all is that the modem stays on
all day and night, tirelessly answering phone calls, taking messages, and
never voicing even one complaint. Fully automated generosity, without
regard to anything remotely related to humanity. Thus, when the clock
strikes six, and the digital displayed tone-activated alarm clock sings its
song, I open my eyes, pick the eye-guk out, and watch the cat choke once
again on the same furball he has been ingesting for the last ten years.

Clothes are not important in the privacy of one's own computer room. I
suspect the most beautifully insane aspect of operating a modem is that a
certain amount of anonymity can be displayed without fear of Alan Funt
jumping out behind your mirror and announcing you will make the syndicated
version of Candid Camera Strikes Again. Sitting on the soft cloth of the
chair which nobody but myself would plop upon, called The Captain's Chair
by even the most naive young SysOps, I lift my aching arms to do the usual
exercises, preparing myself for endless hours of peck-typing.

Being a SysOp is a painfully arthritic occupation, and it is a noted
statistical fact that more knuckles and tendons have been destroyed typing
a simple validation message than most boxers would suffer in a 15 round
heavyweight fight, without gloves. To avoid 'occurences', the mainstream
and well noted computer lingo for 'accidents', one must be in shape. So
after benchpressing the monitor 20 times and leg-lifts under the printer
stand, I'm ready to start a new day in front of the setup.

To begin the online session I must first check out the hardware for rapidly
blinking lights, those inevitable little morse code glitches of pulsating
trouble which always spell out the letters 'AH' in Morse Code. Scribbling
upon a piece of paper the alphabetical equivalent of the blinking morse
code would make it seem, and fittingly so, as if the device in question
were -- with a bit of imagination -- SCREAMING. But I do the real
hollering, and hopefully a simple troubleshooting will remedy the lights.
Of course, if one cannot see ANY lights, then it is time to invest in
something other than microchip technology as a hobby. Or, don't sit so
close to the monitor. Luma rays supposedly cause brain rot.

Before I continue, as the reader you should note being a SysOp simply is
not a cup of tea, and requires above average tolerance for the technical
aspects and detriments of online communication. I suggest a few books, such
as the number one best seller (in China), 'Kung Fu and Commodore Too' by
the honorable Yokihana Manicottison, or, recommended by the National
Counsel for Mentally Deranged SysOps (and Reader's Digest's book of the
month through all of 1955), 'Aligning Your Disk Drives Using Atomic Waste'
by someone named Oppenheimer. Never heard of him, but it has great
diagrams, and a free sample packet with every book.

Where were we? Oh yes. After the initial system check, the first order of
business is to login to my own system. This is not fun, when I attempt to
access and discover your ID code has been changed to negative five, and my
password describes part of the anatomy of a ground hog. But after a few
quick changes in the data files, access is restored and entry into the
system is near. As sweat meanders down my face, and hair folicles stand on
end as I pray all 300 users are intact, the all too familair title screen
appears as one more night of restless sleep is greatfully forgotten.

The time is now ten minutes after six, and in less than two hours I will
have to shower, shave and stuff unedible pieces of melba toast down my
esophogus. Stop gagging, a SysOp has a low budget for basic staples such as
food, heat, or similar modern conveniences. Due to monetary woes, it just
is not practical for me to even consider buying groceries, when the money
could produce much more. Once, I avoided eating for three weeks to insure
the disk drive was cooled by a new fan, which was not on sale.


>> Coming Soon -- Part II !! <<




>>Access Denied Publications Presents...

"SysOp Suicide Part II (Or -- A Day in the Life of a System Operator)"
By James C. Goldbloom

(@) March 1988. ADP, Inc.


P A R T  T W O:  "Time To Make the Donuts..."


The inevitable part of running a system is allowing access to the people
for whom you supposedly cater: The user. Of course, this is not true. The
real reason I run my system, sitting here drinking this off-pink colored
strawberry flavored 'Quick' drink, is to collect fees. Naturally, there is
no way in Hell a user will pay to call on an open phone line, spend 30
minutes typing without being able to even trade a cracked game. You see, I
run a non-fee accessed public message system, with no file transfers to be
accessed or even viewed by the remote user. I ask for no contributions,
unless they include credit card numbers or titles and deeds signed over to
my name. Well, if someone INSISTED, I may consider. However, it is not a
common practice for an Operator like myself to demand money for something a
user can access on a FREE phone line. Was this an editorial? Dangit. I
didn't mean to do that. Let's move on.

Time to make the donuts! That commercial should be the motto of all SysOps
even if they can afford to pay someone else to purge files, reply to all
electronic mail, or simply boot a user off the board for callous remarks.
By the way, when it comes to ethics, SysOps do not have any. Well, when I
first ran the system I was naive, young, full of unrelenting energy which
abounded into a flowing display of creative and brilliant ideology. Hell,
that wore off within a week, right after the disk drive ate the userlog and
indiscreetly spat it out, hub ring first.

In the REAL world of SysOping, 'time to make the donuts' means I must spend
all my free hours, including those precious moments when I just HAVE to
shake the weenie, upkeeping the system. Ugh, that's disgusting. Sorry, what
do you expect in a public domain file? As I was saying, the point is simply
this: Time must be set aside for routine maintenance and chores, which are
many and time consuming. Ask any SysOp, and he or she will tell you point
blank, without the slightest bit of hesitation, "It aint worth it, pal!"

It is worth it, and if I believed everything I said, I would have remained
a user for six years and still be calling out at 300 bits per second, using
a datasette recorder in a vain attempt to save 46.5K worth of buffered data
so I can avoid taking notes. Those days are long gone (for most of us, and
if this scenario rings true to you, no nasty commentary please, I own a
Pittbull and my other hobby is Ninja warfare) but not forgotten.

The hardware I use to run the system is complicated, and the average setup
for the virgin Operator usually costs around $1500.00, and that is not
including the floppies, thousands of pens and labels necessary to insure
proper organization. If I had a penny for all the pieces of printer paper
used to display caller logs, error reports, and other data being generated
at unbelievabe rates I would be able to buy stock into Compuserve. Welcome
to the real world, kiddo. A SysOp must take advantage of the resources
which are available, and steal anything else necessary to get the job done.
By the way, there are no time for drugs or addictive stimulants to maintain
the peak level of operating efficiency. If I was a drug dealer, would I be
typing this text? Don't answer that.

To conclude this section of the text, it is wise to understand the most
basic reason of why a SysOp does what must be done. I have discussed the
fact that there is no money to be gained, there is no advantage in terms of
building or growing something to show for it, and certainly anyone in their
sane mind would never pay to access a service which is a local phone call
away. Why do I do it? You should be thinking of a few reasons. They could
be the education of the mind, expanding your talents and creativity in a
way so your community could benefit. Or, to trade information, resources
and ideas, relating with your peers, and being offered varied opinions and
moral beliefs with which you could ponder, henceforth originating your own
specific values upon man and his environment. Possibly to offer solutions
to world crises and bring forth changes that may not be possible unless a
large group of caring and highly motivated strangers band together and form
a common bond to take action and become united.

Nah. The real reason is simple: We do it for SEX.

>> Coming Soon -- Part III <<




"SysOp Suicide -- Part III"  (Revised)

From Access Denied Publications, Inc. 1988
By: James C. Goldbloom


Part III: "The Ethics of Operating"

Before I continue with the story, it is only advisable to the reader that
they understand the social and legal issues which plague the calm and
steadfast operation of an online system. To name but a few of the dilemnas
which wreak havoc among computer entrepeneurs: hacking, phreaking, leeching,
black-listing and of course the ever popular (ugh) crashing. That last one
should not even be mentally imaged, and the SysOp shudders and shakes in his
or her chair with possibilites of involuntary bowel movement. This portion of
the text describes one afternoon when I encountered the most feared, awe
inspired and horrible type of user -- the crasher.

If there were to be a sort of 10 commandments of online ethics, right after
thou shalt not commit adultry would be thou shalt not illegally enter an ID
which is greater than the national debt. One day when I was sitting in my
captain's chair, smoking a camel right after some really good -- validations
(the closest computer term for sex) I watched a user login as a new user.
At first this bright individual had the smarts to hit the HELP command a
few times and learn his way around the amazon jungle of online corridors which
branched in every which direction and seemed to lead nowhere. Suddenly, as the
system asked for his handle or alias, he paused for what seemed an eternity
and very gingerly entered: "The Disk Destroyer". Now, myself being a rather
experienced Operator and luckily being witness to this dasterdly deed in
person, I decided to lay low, and attempt to learn from the situation. Of
course my hand was but a few milimeters away from the phone cord, just incase
the human being on the other end decided to prove Darwin's theory of the
missing link.

The system verified this ID to be valid, and I cursed loudly. At the next
prompt the system asked him his real name, to which another pause surmounted
and out popped the not so amusing "Kill SysOp". I flustered a little, but kept
reminding myself it was only a BBS, only a kid playing games, and I was going
to delete him anyway and no damage would be done. I knew my system was
indestrucatable, and all my safety nets would work perfectly. Of course, this
user would NEVER guess the backdoor I had installed just incase even I was
locked out of my own system. Never, in a million billion years could this
yahoo guess the correct word. The likelihood of that happening, on his first
try, was so astronomical, it was beyond the limitations of science.

The little bastard got it on the first try. Then I began to drool a little and
a slight degree of spittle ran down my neck and onto the cat, startled but not
completely disrupted. Before I had the chance to disconnect, he had already
opened up the backdoor and like the parting of the red seas, all the online
'water' poured out right into his lap on the other end it seemed, and to put
it mildly, he nearly drowned from the sheer excitement of it all. In this
order, he left feedback to me explaining what type of moron I was classified
as and that the software was 'easy', far too easy and was of no challenge to
him. He mentioned something about he and his buddies frolicing in my modem,
dancing around the maintenance area, and basically short circuiting as much as
he could in the alloted time (he gave himself 2 years before logoff). After
this small note, he raised his access to mine, and proceeded to delete the
userlog right before my eyes, and all I could do was pick my nose and pull the
plug manually. But it was too late, the disk drives were scrambled.

The most important lesson a potential sysop can learn is to make a backdoor
for a backdoor, and backup your data disks frequently, or someone like "Mr.
Kill SysOp" will backup your files for you, right into the toilet. What ever
happened to online ethics? Doesn't anybody care about the social graces of
online communication? I certainly do, and even though I am the first to admit
I have my cynical side to life and often confuse right with wrong, I would
never ever intentionally damage someone else's system.

That is, unless they stole a mod from me or something like that... But
more on that in part 4, entitled 'Modify & Murder'....


Part IV, coming soon!


"SysOp Suicide --- Part IV"

From Access Denied Publications, Inc. (1988)
By: James C. Goldbloom


Part IV:  "Modifications and Murder"


Unique. Supposedly, no two boards are the same. Users gather from varied
backgrounds, SysOps pride themselves on having the latest modifications (which
we in the business call 'mods') and the greatest online inventions which dare
to make the user's modeming experiencing a much simpler and efficient one. The
creative energies flow endlessly, and new ideas enable operators to enrapture
the attention of the user thereby contributing to a start of the art board
which improves the over-all quality of telecommunications.

Hogwash.

The truth of the matter is, we all steal like common, petty thieves and ride
in on our electronic 'horses' and rape and pillage as much of the online
community as possible with as much damage as can be done. When it comes to
secrets, the word simply does not exist in the land of bulletin boards. The
SysOp must deal with the constant painful threat of being electronically
robbed of all ideas, and the BBS in question will end up being replicated in
about 24 states and 5 countries around the globe in 8 different times zones in
as quickly as 48 hours. It is amazing what a bit of buffering can do, and
although mods are commonly duplicated without intention, there are always the
retarded nymphs who simply lack basic intelligence to come up with something
new. I personally cannot figure out why these people would do such deeds,
because there is no pride in plagiarizing. No feeling of accomplishment, but
nevertheless it is a common practicing among competing boards.

The worst form of stealing mods is when the mod in question is displayed
prominently on the second rate system, and the SysOp of that board gladly and
quite distinctly takes full credit for the work. Once, when I saw my prompt
line show up on a nearby BBS from no apparant act of charity on my part, I
asked the SysOp to explain how the mod was accomplished, just to see what
would happen. Needless to say, the ignorant one celled animal could not even
begin to describe the complex nature of the prompt and probably could not
spell his own name without the aid of a brain. When I prompted him to explain
his method of capture of the mod, all I got was a quick disconnect.

I caught that one. However many times my brain-blowing mods get duplicated
time and time again, and like the old 'phone game', by the time it gets to the

100th system, the mod starts to deteriorate. It is then I wish to install a
virus, and set it so at one particular date at one distinct time, all the
boards with that mod will self destruct! It is nice to dream and get on these
power hungry trips, but SysOping is an egotistical business, ok...?

When it comes to the actual production of new mods, that is the time a normal
and quite healthy human being can turn into a wretched and defenseless
creature doomed to a life of rubber walls and straight jackets with 'murdered
by the mod' tatooed on the vest pocket. To describe exactly what it is like to
attempt a new mod is to equate a sperm attempting to enter the uterus and
penetrate the egg for fertilization -- a massive array of mistakes and trial
and error, mindlessly swimming around - bumping into EVERY obstacle.

Manuals, you are thinking, that is why they invented manuals. To make a
complicated 17,000 line software listing make sense, to enable an Operator to
underastand each division and subdivision of the flow of data. Well throw the
damn manuals away, if they are written in english then they probably are
outdated or written for a version which looks or acts nothing like the board
the Operator is running. The only uses I have for manuals are propping them
under the kitty litter box for absorption or emergency bathroom tissue.

All mods are usually a life threatening process of give and take, push and
shove, and throw and kick. It is advisable all small children and any objects
not stapled to the table be removed while a SysOp is modifying. Ask any wife
or husband of any SysOp and the unanimous conjecture is that a SysOp in the
middle of modifying is more likely to turn against friend and family then when
drunken and armed with a shotgun. It's the truth, the patience simply runs out
and even if the board owner is gnawing off their own fingernails or throwing
spitballs at the monitor with slingshots, they better not be disturbed.

That is the reason I destest someone stealing my mods. I put all that hard
work into it, and slaved for hours on end before I figured out I spelled the
word 'return' wrong somewhere in line 2534, which enabled the board to be
booted and re-booted about 250 times in succession before I got it right. The
selfless nerd who copies my work after ALL my work deserves... well, to be
punished! At least, make them boot their boards 250 times in a row and see
what happens to THEIR monitors when pens are flung at Mach-5 and become a
permanent attachment to the glass. It aint easy being a programmer and SysOp
at the same time, I wish it could be like Star Trek, just talk into the
machine and ask for "One prompt with date and time displayed, something new
and innovative" and after a second or two of regurgetation, the machine spits
out a complete listing (with documentation) fit for a king.

No such luck, and the best we can do for now is sit on our butts and spend
hours trying to be creative, and when that first user logs on and sees the
mod, comments nicely about it in feedback, and logs off a satisfied customer,
well -- it makes it all worth it.

So long as he hasn't buffered the whole damn thing and has already echo-mailed
it to the 'hackers-haven' computer club in Colombia, South America......


Coming Soon, Part 5 -- "Dealing with Sub-Operators, the Helpers"



>>Access Denied Publications Presents...

"SysOp Suicide -- The Series, Volume 1"

Written By: James C. Goldbloom with assistance from Liz Reynolds



P A R T  F I V E:  The Magic & Madness of Making Messages:  A Study


The following field study and report was compiled from countless years
of personal experience as a System Operator.  The opinions expressed
herein are unimportant, inane, obtuse, and uncorrolated.  But DAMNED if
it don't make good readin'...




HYPOTHESIS & INTRODUCTION:
=========================

YOU have just logged onto the BBS of your choice and you are confronted
by the options menu.  You think to yourself, "AH HA!  Why not check out
the message bases and see what the other users are thinking?"
Hesitantly your fingers are poised to hit the command that will bring
you face to face with the aspect of on-line communication often
misunderstood and rarely observed:  DISCUSSION!

History plays a role in the birth and eventual maturity of such
discussion.  In the beginning, God created raw data.  Naturally, most
users were confronted with tempting and voluptuous features of Bulletin
Boards which involve the trading of files, the exchange of technical
enhancements, and the beauty and freedom of mastering the art of this
electronic medium.  When the earth was a molten mass, when an Apple was
something that was ingested and a Commodore ALWAYS went down with his
ship, Bulletin Boards were initially utilized for the office jockey who
delivered memos and other work related materials to fellow computer
novices.  In this archaic beginning, (cue the theme from 2001:  A Space
Odyssey) this information represented the sterile and utterly
insensitive automation of "data transfer."  Thrilling as reading
expiration dates on condom packages, but please continue...

By the time of Christ, avid computer Apostles upon a whim decided to
preach the Gospel of electronic interaction amongst the masses. These
early teachings brought about the discovery of that which has now been
deemed mundane, staid, and pathetic: communication.  Not between
silicon and wire, but flesh and blood.  Dedicated purely to preserving
necessary humanity (HINT:  PROFOUND STATEMENT!).

You're probably asking what the heck all this means, aren't you?  What
does religion and history have to do with the modeming scene?  Nothin',
but that's not the point of this verbose paragraphing.  What really
matters is the magic of message making, and how fantastic the grammar
is within the preceding text.  I am just kidding about the formal
prose, as what is really important is how the sexual behavior of
non-consenting adults is "splattered" on messages bases like caged
rabbits on a bad episode of Wild Kingdom.

However, messages do take on many forms and challenge the reader to
think, to create, and to become involved.  That is what's truly
inspiring and has been forgotten.  Anonymity, adult subject matter,
file transfer, high baud rates, unfriendly software and a disdain to
tradition all contribute to the erosion of honest and meaningful
dialogue.  This text was written to allow a reader, like yourself, to
view on-line direct communication in a predecent or standard which has
always existed, but sadly is dormant to many.  Now don't fall asleep on me
yet, as there is a point to be made.  Hopefully soon, and here is some
research data I collected over the years to support my theory...



MEANINGLESS DATA TO PROVE IT:
============================

Those who contribute to this downfall of the online community have
names, of course, and let me take a moment of your valuable online time
to list but a few of these insensitive, crass, impudent and
disgustingly oblivious individuals. I won't mention names unless
they've deleted me on their systems (don't press that STOP key, I'm
just joking). Instead I will produce for your enterainment dollar a
general classification listing, complete with species name, habitat,
migratory patterns, life cycle -- and if necessary, the "mating rituals"
and socio-economic status of such creatures within the online kingdom.

(This listing will be from the highest level of the food chain to the
lowest form of online life possible.)



SPECIES       HABITAT    DESCRIPTION (Migratory/Mating/Behavioral Patterns)
=======       =======    ==================================================

Patron        ANY BBS    Contributes selflessly to ALL message bases
  Saint                  with creative and intelligent conversation.
                         (Scientific Name:  Championi Supportrius)

Garden        ANY BBS    Frequents sub-boards routinely, posting very
  Variety                interesting but umemorable form fed generic
                         responses of unoriginal context.
                         (Scientific Name:  Flora No-Weedius)

Scarce        ANY BBS    Has difficulty finding the messages, but somehow
  Scribbler              types the reply command by accident.  General chit
                         chat directed towards no one in particular.
                         (Scientific Name:  Scantius Doodlecti)

Credit        MOST BBS   Only interested in increasing file transfer credits,
  Fanatic                allotted time or access.  Racks these up like trophy
                         points.  Can be seen, and hunted, but rarely heard.
                         (Scientific Name:  Charjum Visacum)

Typ-O 101     MOST BBS   Backspaces 100 words per minute.  Needs a dictionary
  Scholar                to spell one syllable words, is totally oblivious
                         to the raping of the English language.
                         (Scientific Name:  Coronas Backspacious)

Rampant       ANY BBS    Even the simplest greeting becomes akin to the
  Run-On                 Gettysburg Address in long hand.  Verbosity and
                         excrutiating dullness impact with each sentence.
                         Messages are a wonderful cure for insomnia. (yawn)

                         (Scientific Name:  Babbleus Eternius)

Techno-       MOST BBS   Preceeds text with line numbers.  Gloats of all
  Nerd                   programaming conquests openly on any message base.
                         Constantly quotes technical manuals and similar
                         uninteresting jargon. Excessive breeding within
                         this catagory discounts ANY hope of extinction.
                         (Scientific Name:  Floppius Pee-Wee-nus)

National      ALL BBS    If bathroom walls could talk!  Studies mating habits
  Inquirer               of other species.  Coverts confidential tidbits to
                         maintain dominance over other species.  Poor self
                         image and grooming habits.  Predatory creature.
                         (Scientific Name:  Buttinskius YurBizness)

SysOp's       ALL BBS    Constant feedback and mail of an irrelevent nature
  Suck-Up                from this species wasting valuable disk space and
                         precious time of the Operator.  Usually to gain
                         additional status in the social ladder.  Blatantly
                         obvious and a professional BROWN-NOSER.
                         (Scientific Name:  Operatum Fellatio-scum)

Chronic       MOST BBS   Proficient at reporting (publicly) every minute
  Complainer             flaw in the system software.  Never satisfied with
                         access levels, etc., but offers their constantly
                         neglected suggestions for unnecessary improvement.
                         (Scientific Name:  Perpetuous Bad Bitchius)

Old           ALL BBS    An on-line fossil, virtually adopted by the SysOp,
 Faithful                a permanent fixture since the board's conception.
                         Suffers from Geritol induced flash-backs of the
                         "good" old days, but nobody seems to care.  (sigh)
                         (Scientific Name:  Primordius Geezeratum)

Absolute      MOST BBS   Wanders aimlessly through discussions which go
  Airhead                beyond their miniscule intellect and capacity to
                         absorb thought.  Although totally confused about
                         the simplest meanings of expressed opinion, biology
                         and reproduction are engrained into their genes!
                         (Scientific Name:  Cranious Lobotomus)

Connoisseur   ALL BBS    Putrid display of atypical sexual "-philias", i.e.
  of Kink                necrophilia, farm-animalophilia, etc., even on the
                         public sections!  Illicit fantasies and other
                         abnormalities of anonymous lust monopolizes any and
                         all topics of discussion.  Cross species mating is
                         well documented, including (ahem) single gender
                         (ahem) social "intercourse".
                         (Scientific Name:  Rob Lowe-us Minoris)

Frequent     *ALL BBS*   Has never discoverd the "pause" key or command.
  Flyer                  Reads every third line (partially) and barely
                         comprehends the meaning.  May find topics of
                         interest, yet prone only to reply when conversation
                         is directed at themself. Requires baud rates GREATER
                         than the speed of light, and does not know the
                         meaning of the word "buffer".
                         (Scientific Name:  Blastum Inius Outius)

Mongers of   *ALL BBS*   Fornicators of filth, habitually reducing eloquent
  Manure                 dialogue to sickening sewer scum.  Complete,
                         immoral, unethical, anti-social, and outright
                         grotesque abuse of the English language. Offensive
                         to ALL users and Operators, be it intentional or
                         not.  WARNING:  Easy prey, deleted upon discovery
                         of such vulgarity by any and all SysOps.
                         (Scientific Name:  Flingus Fecius In Fan-ius)

The Phantom  *ALL BBS*   Elusive, unidentified wanderer through any or all
  Phreak                 message areas, who simply does NOT contribute.
                         Mating, eating, migratory habits:  UNKNOWN.  The
                         most feared on-line predator with a callous dis-
                         regard for ANY aspect of terminal communications.
                         Abusive of other users time and waste of usable
                         electricity and phone lines! Excessive breeding.
                         (Scientific Name:  No Participato Spirito)


Disclaimer: The above classifications are designed to descibe the spirit,
----------  essence, and personality of typical BBS users. Any references
            to particular persons have been cleverly and deceptively
            altered to protect no one.



CONCOCTED SUMMARIZATION:
=======================

In closing, there are many types of on-line habitants who possess the above
characteristics including some not listed due to necessary censorship.
Also, many such individuals may cross over into more than one catagory, or
dabble in a little bit of them all.  Please note this listing is factually
represented with respect to a PURELY scientific study (*B.S. ALERT*) based
on years of intensive and excrutiating field investigations.

Or...something like that.  It sounds good, anyway.



                          Researched By:
                          The Author and Trusty Research Assistant
                          (two people obsessed with BBS social misbehavior)


---------------------------------------------------------------------------
For incomplete journal transcripts and copies of fabricated test results, or
if you wish to comment on this in-depth study of on-line human behavioral
patterns be sure to contact my public "research" line:

Access Denied Public Message System
(301) 761-6216  24hrs/300-1200 8N1
Online since 1985, Dedicated to the users.




If you like this file please feel free to distribute it.  I am sure you will
continue research on your own when you call more systems, as there ARE a
surplus of available test subjects like those listed here...

Get your note pad ready!

* EOF, Sysop Suicide parts 1 thru 5 *
 

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 Another file downloaded from:                               NIRVANAnet(tm)

 & the Temple of the Screaming Electron   Jeff Hunter          510-935-5845
 Rat Head                                 Ratsnatcher          510-524-3649
 Burn This Flag                           Zardoz               408-363-9766
 realitycheck                             Poindexter Fortran   415-567-7043
 Lies Unlimited                           Mick Freen           415-583-4102

   Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
       arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
       insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.

  Full access for first-time callers.  We don't want to know who you are,
   where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.

                          "Raw Data for Raw Nerves"

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