From : Aragorn
To   : All
Subj.: Are You a Bikaholic?
Date : 25 Jun 92  21:06:53
Links: 4500 ->
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: seanodon@gn.ecn.purdue.edu (Aragorn)
Newsgroups: rec.bicycles
Subject: Are You a Bikaholic?

This was posted about a year ago (that's when I saw it anyway).  Since
I haven't seen it in a while, I thought I would repost it.  Please
apologize any errors in spelling and grammar.  I erased the original and
had to retype the article.

Enjoy!!

This article is out of the January, 1988 newsletter of the Wheeling (IL)
Wheelmen (they host the annual Harmon Hundred).  This was written by
Dick Sorensen and is reprinted without permission for your enjoyment and
reading pleasure.  Any additional "tests" for this list may be sent to
seanodon@gn.ecn.purdue.edu.  Now for the test.

******************

"Are You An Incurable Bikaholic?"  Take This Test!

"You don't love me anymore!"  "I always come second place to your @#$%
bicycles!"  Sound familiar?  You're definitely in trouble.  You may be
going overboard on the fresh air and exercise bit.  You've gone too far!
You've probably fallen victim to the insidious malady known as BIKAHOLISM!
What are they symptoms, you ask?  Well based on personal experience, I
offer the following self-analysis.

You know you're an incurable bikaholic when ...

- You find that a strange jargon is working its way into your everyday
  conversation.  Words like "derailleur," "Campagnolo," "Biopace,"
  "Kevlar," "Dia Comp," and "Shimano."
- You have an uncontrollable urge to bring your bike into the house -
  preferably in the living room or the bedroom.
- You find it amazingly easy to justify the purchase of a third bike -
  this one just for special rides.
- You plan, and actually look foward to, a two-week bicycling vacation
  trekking across mountainous terrain and setting a goal of 75 - 100
  mils a day, rain or shine!
- You can actually remember which valve type is Presta and which is
  Schraeder, and are adament about defending your favorite.
- Your spouse begins to automatically assume that you'll be on a club
  ride every weekend, or worse yet your non-riding spouse begins to
  learn bike jargon.
- You meticulously care for your bike, while your $10,000 car quietly
  rusts away.
- You view Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries as times to exchage
  gifts of bicycling components and accessories.
- You hang around bike shops without really needing anything.
- You're so naive that you think a "wheel-watcher" is a bike racing fan.
- You accumulate bike catalogs - and find something new to order with
  each new issue.
- You easily rationalize replacing perfectly good components, just
  because somthing slightly better or trendier just came out.
- You never throw away the replaced parts - even worn out tires and tubes.
- Your eating habits have changed.  Things like "gorp," "Gookinade," and
  "carbohydrates" creep into your diet.
- You plan the year ahead around the dates of TOSRV, GEAR, the LAW
  rally, the Hilly Hundred, the Makleville Death Ride, etc (the list
  grows longer every year).
- You don't plan any family events ahead until checking the "Monthly
  Meanders" schedule.
- You begin to regard your job or school as a troublesome nuisance,
  interfering with your quality biking time.
- You divide your friendships into two groups - those that bike and
  those that don't bike.
- You talk about Lemond, Induran, Chiapucci, and Bugno as if they were
  close personal friends.
- You find yourself carrying on a spirited conversation with "Larry,"
  the ever silent riding companion, when viewing the cycling video on
  your wind trainer.
- Your all-time favorite movies are "Breaking Away" and "American
  Flyers."
- You talk as if you really understand gear ratios.
- You'll ride all day in the numbing cold and soaking rain, and then
  complain at home if a draft from an open window blows on you.
- Your family photo album is becoming filled with bike photos and
  scenery views shot through the spokes. On the other hand, you have not
  taken a candid photo of you spouse or kids for two years.
- You faithfully log every mile ridden.
- You regard the severity of a sickness or injury by the length of time
  it takes until you can resume biking.
- You're beginning to actually enjoy drinking warm water out of a water
  bottle (especially at sag stops, sitting on the cold ground and
  pigging out on bananas.)
- You have a permanent black grease mark across the calf of your right
  leg.
- Your biggest goal is to qualify for RAAM (or some other suitably
  difficult race/ride).
- You would like to wear your colorful skin outfits to work.
- You belong to more than two bike clubs and/or subscribe to more than
  two bike magazines.
- You consider not being able to ride on your favorite ride as "the
  ultimate tragedy."
- You hang on to your favorite biking outfits, like a child's teddy-
  bear, even though they are tattered and torn.

(From jennifer@twinsun.com)

- You find your memory has improved - you can remember all the price
  tags in your half dozen bike catalogs down to the last detail without
  much effort.
- You are more concerned about your favorite bike than anything else
  in anticipation of an earthquake.
- You find working up a 20% climb more entertaining than gobbling down
  pop corn while watching your favorite TV show.

So there you have it.  How'd you do with the test?  You may wonder- how
do I know these intimate secrets that you thought only you knew.  What
can I say?  It takes one to know one.

******************

I hope you enjoyed this little excursion.

Bikaholic, and damn proud of it!
Aragorn
--
***seanodon@ecn.purdue.edu***********************************************
*  Man-in-Black: "You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put 	*
*		  down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other 	*
*		  like civilized people."	_The Princess Bride_	*

