Ph1l3 #oo1 [TWaT]

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kRadkRadkrAdkrAdkRadkrAdKRadKraDkRAdkRaDkRADkraDkradKRADKrAdkRaDkRAdkraDKrAd!
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               Th3 K-R4D 3PiK 0V KR3/|+|0/\/ by: Phlintlok Jesus
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                               The Book of 416
                               ===============

 The Beginning

 1 On the 0-Day God created 416.  It was formless and empty.  Darkness covered
   all, and God's spirit hovered over the waters.
   
 2 On the 1-Day God created Computers.  He looked at them and said, "W0w, 
   th0z3 R 3l33+@!%#$@#%$@#!!!!!1!!!!1!!"  He called the lame ones Amigas,
   and the k-k00l ones IBM's.

 3 On the 2-Day God created WaReZ.  He looked at them and said, "W0w th0z3 R
   3l33+ +00!!!11!!! N0w 3Y3 K4n pla3y th4 0-D4Y&(*^%$&^$&^!!!!!!1!!!!

 4 And on the 3-Day God created CyberSpace, and looked over it and said, 
   "K-K00l!!1!!! N0w 3y3 h4v3 Uh Wa3y +00 G|t M0r3 WaReZ*&(^$%*&^$!!!!1!!!"

 5 And on the 4-Day God created ANSi, and said "K-k33n!!!1!!! N0w 3y3 h4v3
   3l33+ p|ktur3z!!!1!!!!!1!!!"

 6 And on the 5-Day, God created the BBS.  He had his own, and named it 
   Heaven.  It ran on ViSiON-X v.99,999,999.9 Alpha.  It was a 0-Day WaReZ and
   ANSi board, and had all the new WaReZ and ANSi releases, and no ratios for
   ld callers.  He had no time limit, so you could call, and play Limonade
   Stand until your eyes popped out.  But one of his Sacred couriors turned  
   NarQ.  His name was Visionary, and he formed his own realm down below.  It
   was named Hell, and ran on Wildcat version 0.0000001.  It was an Apogee
   Distrubution site, and only had shareware, classical .MOD files, and 
   speachcard utilities for the APPLE II.  God looked at this rebel's board 
   and said "U R L4M3!%@#$%^#@!!!!!  U R 4 N4RQ! !!!1!!!!!!"  Visionary looked 
   up at him and replied, "RAAAARRRRR!!!!! I'm not a narq.  Can we talk about 
   this?" Due to his sins Pat was doomed to ride around in a wheelchair all 
   his life, and was struck blind.

 7 And on the 6-Day God created k0dez.  He looked over them and said, "N0w
   3y3 k4n k4ll 3l33+ 0-Day BBESEZ*^%$*^%$!!!!1!!!!"  And he also created 
   The D00d.  This dude he named Paradox, which means "K-K00l D00d!" in 
   Canadian.  God gave Paradox the task to create Conferences, and own a VMB. 
   But Paradox had noone to trade WaReZ with, so God created another D00d, 
   and named him Psycho Slasher.  Paradox and Psycho Slasher were the best
   of D00dz.  God said "G0 f0rth 4nd tr4d3 WaReZ." And he saw that it was 
   3l33t.  

 8 God told them, "You k4n tr4d3 4ny WaRe, bu++ n0t SP33cHW4r3Z!!!1!!!1!! iYF
   U d00, th4n U w|ll b3 c4st 0u+ 0V 416@#$^#$%$#$!!!1!!"     
   
 9 Psycho Slasher was calling boards one day, when Visionary, in disguise as a
   SysOp broke into chat.  He said "Hey, want to trade WaReZ."  Visionary    
   zipped his speechwarez as Mortal Kombat II.  Psycho Slasher wanted Mortal
   Kombat II.  Psycho Slasher said "W0w, K-K00l!!1!!! 3y3'll +tr4d3 U Pong
   4 it*&^)*&!^!!!!!!!1!!!"  Visionary agreed.  And HS-Link ensued.  When it 
   was done, and Psycho Slasher Unzipped, and saw what had been done, he quickly
   formatted his hard drive, to keep God from finding the files.  But God saw,
   and said to Psycho Slasher and Paradox, "U R L4M3!#$^#$%!!!1!!!!  G3t 0w+
   0v 416#$%#@%!!!!!1!!!!"

10 And so they left the garden, and went out onto the plain of 905, where 
   there were only ANSi boards, and Paradox cried.

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Thanx for reading this file, and be shure to spread it everywhere, especially
        to Canuck Land.  That's Canada for all you Non-Eskimo types.
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(c)1994 [TWaT] - The Winner ANSI Team!
Written by Phlintlock in a fit of intelligence and beauty, and the mastermind
behind the "Hey, this is Paradox's Girl 416 Routine."

