
File    : BARRI.TXT
Author  : Unknown
BBS     : The Banana Republic BBS

30/07/89
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      This is the story of Barri, an unusual Banana, a bouncer,
       a boozer, and a quadraplegic boxer and, his altogether
                        different friend
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I first saw Barri at the pub (he is to be found there most nights of the week,
as he is unable to resist a beer, being a bit of a boozer).  Barri,
although being a quite retiring sort, is occassionally to be found in the midst
of trouble at his favourite spot by the bar, this may seem strange as it is not
in his nature to be a trouble maker, but rather it is his unfortunate
condition, which seems to incite a certain breed of person.  People who know,
no better, and those who are want to cause trouble (as people the whole world
over sometimes do) approach Barri, and mistakenly assuming that this
apparently shy Banana, will provide a bit of sport, begin to tease him saying
"Hey you, we don't like Bananas sitting near us, that's my air you're
breathing!" Barri usually ignores them, but sometimes when pushed beyond his
limits, or when forced to by the circumstances beyond his control, he
reveals, that he is a bouncer at a local Rhythm and Blues Bar, and having had
to learn a craft of self-defence (forced to, somewhat by the very nature of his
profession) that he is a boxer.

It was, under these circumstances that I met Barri, the boozing (some would
even say alcoholic), boxing, bouncer Banana and his altogether different
friend.  Barri was sitting at his favourite spot near the bar, when I, having
spotted him from across the room, came over and introduced myself.  Barri was
polite, and indicated that I should sit with him, being the very well mannered
genial type that he is. He mentioned briefly, as I sat feeling rather awkward,
that he was expecting an aqaintance, but that I was more than welcome to join
them.  Very soon after, we were indeed joined, just as Barri had previously
mentioned, by his altogether different friend, a somewhat seedy fellow (which
supprised me, for Barri had seemed to me to be a Banana of principles) a
dictator of ill-repute.

As I sat talking with Barri, and his altogether different friend, I gradually
began to piece together bits of his character, and some of the circumstances
surrounding his relationship with his altogether different friend, the
dictator.  Barri had met the dictator, it seems, answering a situations vacant
ad in a Soldier of Fortune magazine (although why Barri, this seemingly
harmless Banana (quite apart from the fact that he is a boxer) would be reading
Soldier of Fortune magazine is beyond me).  It seems that the dictator required
someone to train a para-military force for a Banana Republic somewhere in the
South Pacific, and although Barri mentioned nothing to me, I could tell by a
strange gleam in his eye, that there was some part of him that yearned, once
again, for the excitement and danger of a combat situation. (It is at this
point that I must reveal that Barri, the dictator, and I were actually sitting
in an establishment, frequented by the Hells Angels, so perhaps it is this way,
that he expressed his desire for danger.) It soon became clear to me that the
dictator, was more than just Barri's employer, and I could see as I sat there,
in the midst of 250 inebriated gang members, that there was a real bond between
these two friends.

Barri, began to tell me about his life, and it is indeed a strange tale of
excitement, adventure and, at times sorrow (for who amongst us can say that we
have truely lived, if our experiences do not contain some sorrow along the way)
and I feel that Barri, has in no way finished with his life, it seems as
though this point in time is but a small pause in his hectic lifestyle.  For
reasons of safety, security and, just because of the fact that Barri may be
injuried if I repeat some of the comments he made to me, I will have to refrain
from speaking of all he told me, however, I can reveal that Barri, has during
his life been: a South Seas Pirate; involved in the Arms for Contras deal of
the Regan Administration (I believe he actually financed purchases from
Mainland China); involved in smuggling refuge Bananas from the Fiji Islands, to
Southern Australia, during the recent coup there and, although I only heard a
mumbled, broken, whisper I believe he may in fact know something about the
strange, even horrific tales, involving that vigilante, the Masked Banana.

The time was getting on, the lights around the bar seemed to be dimmer than
before, and most of the gang members had departed, but Barri was to reveal to
me, in this ever encroaching darkness, perhaps the strangest of his tales thus
far. It was during a training jump over the wilds of Papua New Guinnea,
apparently, that this strongest of friendships, between the ever likeable
Banana, Barri, and his altogether different (even seedy) friend, the dictator
(and stranger still was the fact that the dictator seemed even more at
home in the increasing darkness, as though his persona was solidifying and
becoming more real) was truely forged, in the fires of a common suffering.  It
seems that, Barri, and the dictator were involved in a training parachute and
survival jump over the interior of Papua New Guinnea (one of the only truely
untamed jungles, although the Amazon Basin may also lay claim to this title, on
the face of the earth) when, their plane was damamged in a tropical cyclone,
(trpical cyclones being somewhat more common over Papua New Guinnea (and more
violent), than the rest of the Pacific).  This cyclone forced them to crash
land their plane in the very heart of the wilds of the tiny island.  It is here
that the proceedings, become slightly confused (whether this is to be
atrributed to the late nature of the hour, the amount of alcohol consumed, or
the very nature of their experiences, I cannot tell) but it appears that Barri,
a Banana of courage, and his altogether different friend, stumbled onto a
strange hidden civilization, a remanant of a Japanese infantry division, that
was hiding in this remote region, refusing to acknowledge the end of the war,
but rather waiting quietly, building up their numbers and their weaponry in
preparation for an all out assult on Singapore. I cannot tell what horrors
Barri, and the dictator (a rather seedy charcter) endured, all I can say is
that when they emerged from the tropical jungle over 5 months later, carrying
over a 300 Japanese made cameras, watches, and hi-fi units (and some say that
there is even now, a division of the Mitsubishi Coporation of Japan, operating
from the wilds of central Papua New Guinnea) that there was now friendship of
truely epic proportions, bonding Barri, a boozer (he is first to admit to this
very fact), a bouncer, a quadraplegic boxer, a REAL Banana and his altogether
different friend, a rather seedy character, the dictator.

It was by now, well after 4am (and yet the bar was still open, almost as if it
refused to close whilst Barri remained there) and I rose to take my leave.
Barri shook my hand warmly, and mentioned that if I should ever pass by the
Rhythm and Blues Bar where he bounces, or even the Banana Republic (at which
point the dictator smiled and nodded) where he spends much of his time, that I
should drop in and say hello.

As I walked out the door of the bar, into the cold, dark night I couldn't help
feeling that, this night, I had indeed met a unique Banana, that now remains a 
part of me forever.

                       Oh, and Barri says Hi.

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AUTHOR: Unknown (well I'll give you a guess, sometimes called LP)
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Brought to the WORLD by The Banana Republic BBS
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