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     | |      c   o   m   m   u   n   i   c   a   t   i   o   n   s     | |
     | |________________________________________________________________| |
     |____________________________________________________________________|

  ...presents...          Big Ol' Heaping Pile of Shit
                                                         by Suicidal Maniac

                      >>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
  ____       _     ____       _       ____       _     ____       _       ____
 |____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|

                                    Disturbed
                                    ---------

     It really makes me think...  It really makes me think...  It really makes
me think...  It really makes me...  It really makes me...  It really makes me
want to kill.  Why is it that everyone in this society must be tagged?  What I
really hate is that everybody plays along with all of it.  It's so stupid,
you're so stupid.  I can't understand anything in this world.  We work against
ourselves.  In a world filled with hypocrites, what can one person do?  It's me
who's trying to figure things out, and it's you who is holding me back.  If I
can't live in YOUR world, why must I have been brought into it?  It should be
everybody's world, not YOUR world.  Peace is a concept that cannot be defined.
AND IT'S BECAUSE OF ASSHOLES LIKE YOU, who pull together with other assholes
like yourself to hold us down.  You call me insane, but I have another view.
But to your eyes my view is of no relevance.  You say I'm crazy, perhaps I'm
one of the few blessed with sanity while the rest of the world is filled with
an enormous amount of hypocritical lying scheming racist conformist two-faced
lunatics.  Why is it that anyone with a little insight and sense must be dubbed
disturbed?

     Can you justify your actions?  I can justify my hate for you, and I just
did it, but I suppose it's just another statement from a disturbed youth.
Talking to the world is like trying to communicate with a tree and one of these
days, I'm going to buy a chainsaw and make some fuckin' firewood.  Go to hell.


                                      Acid
                                      ----

                            The colors seem brighter
                              My head feels lighter

                         I paint vivid images in my mind
                     I could see them, even if I were blind

                                 The images burn
                            As my mind begins to turn
                              The page of the book
                          From that hit of acid I took.

                            My mind is like a story,
                           Filled with love and glory.
                               It's all a fantasy,
                         but it's putting me in ecstasy.
                            The feelings are so kind,
                           those contained in my mind.

                       Hours pass, and my happiness fades
                    As if someone had pulled down the shades.

                              Reality bounces back,
                                I begin to pack.

                              I'm going on a trip,
                              This one much longer,
                      For the hit of acid is much stronger.
                            I hope this one will last
                              It brightens my past.

                           Reality is so much better,
                        When you can alter what you see,
                        And I like things a little wacky.
                            Rain on a sunny day,
                                No bills to pay.

                            Acid, it burns your mind
                      from which many things you will find.
                             You discover yourself,
                         And if you look hard enough...

                            You just may see an elf.


                                   This World
                                   ---- -----

                               Oh beautiful planet
                             This world of darkness
                             Our world of corruption

                    This world where sullen and sane are same

                            This world where children
                             are starving, while the
                              rich eat with silver.

                             This world where people
                             Are dying, without help.

                         This world where the government
                         Screws it's people and smiles.

                            I cannot help but wonder
                         What's at the end of the road.
                              Be it life or death,
                                I will not smile.
                               Not in this world.

                                 In this world,
                               I am not conscious,
                                I am anti-social.


    Dying Eyes
    ----- ----

    I look out onto the cold world.
    I feel time slipping away.
    I see everything in a blur.
    I look at the world through dying eyes.

    All of the arrogant rays tire my vision
    All of the denied dreams warp my senses
    All of the hurt & agony ties my mind
    All of the dark burns my dying eyes


    Grey
    ----

    Hate
    Torment
    Breachment
    Lies
    Corruption
    Life
    Death
    Sickness
    Epidemic
    Plague
    Life
    Alcohol
    Drugs
    Overdose
    Death
    Life
    Mental Illness
    Schizophrenia
    Manic Depressive
    Death
    Life
    Pain
    Funeral
    Wake
    Death
    Life
    Cemetery
    RIP
    Death
    Life
    War
    Death
    Life

    The curtains close.  All the colors turn to grey.


    Love
    ----

    I'm falling for you
    I love you
    Will you marry me?
    I love you
    Let's have children
    Don't leave the toilet seat up
    Get rid of your tampons
    I want a divorce.


    Pulling
    -------

    Single file
    Stand in line
    Take a number
    Wait for it
    Alphabetical Order
    Boy - Girl - Boy - Girl
    Shortest to Tallest
    Income brackets

    Pulling your individuality.


    Mockery
    -------

    He doesn't know what he wants
    Look he's alone
    He's awkward
    He's weird
    He's ugly
    He's short
    He's impotent
    He's black
    He's oriental
    He's got zits

    He's a mockery.


    Big Words
    --- -----

    Abatement
    Abjuration
    Abhorrence
    Beatitude
    Crepehanger
    Gregarious
    Focalize
    Statute
    Indigenous
    Witticism
    Mordacious
    Kinetic
    Susceptible
    Redundant
    Redundant
    Metamorphose
    Juvenescence
    Juxtapose
    Happenstance
    FUCK!


    At Night
    -- -----

    At night, I vaporize,
    I slip through the crack in your window.
    I lay with you under the covers.
    I feel your every move.
    I feel your warm breath as you exhale from a sigh.
    I feel the heat coming from your snatch.
    I fondle your breasts, but you do not feel it.
    I molest your body, violate it.
    Then, I'm gone.

    At night, I prowl your house while you sleep.
    I enter your private life.
    I let the skeletons out of the closet.
    I roam through your panty drawer.
    I sense your dishonesty.
    I sense your falseness.
    I see through your act.
    Then, I'm gone.

    At night, I haunt your dreams.
    I remind you of your wrongs.
    I bring pain and agony to your thoughts.
    I torment your every move.
    I haunt you with guilt.
    I post illusions to confuse you.
    Then, I'm gone.
 _______  __________________________________________________________________
/ _   _ \|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.....806/794-1842|
 ((___)) |Cool Beans!..........510/THE-COOL|Polka AE {PW:KILL}..806/794-4362|
 [ x x ] |The Alcazar..........401/782-6721|Moody Loners w/Guns.415/221-8608|
  \   /  |The Works............617/861-8976|Finitopia...........916/673-8412|
  (' ')  |ftp - zero.cypher.com in pub/cdc |ftp - ftp.eff.org in pub/cud/cdc|
   (U)   |==================================================================|
  .ooM   |1993 cDc communications by Suicidal Maniac           04/01/93-#227|
\_______/|All Rights Drooled Away.                 SIX GLORIOUS YEARS of cDc|

