"Creative Writing, Second Grader Style"
By Hanover Fiste

        Today I was looking through some stuff and found a little folder
with my name written in crayon on it.  Inside were a collection of
papers I wrote back when I was in second grade.

        It appears to me they were what the teacher considered my best
work in creative writing class.  They are all written on tablet paper
and some of them are illustrated.

        What follows are most of the stories.  Of course, they have been
edited, I wooden't whant to konfuze u with the orginal mispelings or the
lack of proper grammar, which doesn't appear to be necessary for most
second graders.


                        "It's raining cats and dogs"

        One cold Monday, it started.  The streets were frozen.  First
came down mothballs, then later cats and dogs.  They sneazed their way
from the heaven to earth.  The cats scratched people on their faces and
backs.  Cats alone killed 109 people.  Five people died from shock and the
noise.  It really was awful.  But I was safe inside.
                              The End

Comments:
        Acompanying the story was a drawing of a cloud with a dog and
cat inside it.  A shirtless man has a frown on his face and his hands
in the air.  Another man wearing a green shirt lies on the
ground screaming, "Help..."

        I must have been a very sadistic child for writing a story like
this.  I wonder if space on the paper prevented me from writing about what
the dogs did to the people.  This really is my favorite story.  I wonder
what the teachers reaction was.

                                -*-

                      If I were a talking toy

        I would be a toy jet space solder, with jets for speed and a toy
laser light.  I'd talk really fast and sound funny.  You would like me.
I run on batteries, but plug me in and I'd become amazing.  You could
control me for machines.

        On Independence day I would fly up and make sparks.  I cost
$1,000 and you could borrow me for twenty-five cents.  A smaller
version, that did less amazing things would cost $100 and be rented for
ten cents.

        I am a toy robot made to help children.

Comments:
        At the bottom of the page is a drawing of a little blue robot with
arms and wheels saying, "Happy speeding friends!"

        When I was little, I always wanted a set of tin toy soldiers but
my parents would never get me them.  I was also fascinated by robots and
lasers.  I was, however, lucky enough to have a remote control R2-D2
robot.  I suppose this story was what I must have thought to be the
ultimate toy.


                                -*-

                There's a phantom on my block.

        Tuesday night it happend.  My best friend came over to spend the
night.  First we told ghost stories, then this big blue thing with a
green tongue hit me.  That morning when we woke up there was green
slime.

        Later that day, we went alley hunting.  We found some green
slimy foot prints leading up to a cave.  We went in and saw the same
blue thing.  It had green eyes and said, "Hi, would you like to have
some tea?"

        We answered yes that we would.  The thing told us it was from
Mars and that we weren't in a cave, but a spaceship.  We asked the
Martian if we could go for a ride.  As the ship took off, my friend and
I exclaimed "Zowee!"

        An hour later we landed.  We said bye and the Martian apologized
for scaring us earlier.  So if you meat a phantom, be friendly.

Comments:
        Drawing is a big blue monster with red hair going all the way
down it's back.  Monster has light blue eyes and is holding a steering
wheel.  On a pedestal is a Play-Doh looking can that says Lime-Slime.

        The teacher must have really enjoyed this one because the top of
the page has "Good" written on it.  I suppose it isn't that bad for 2nd
grade Sci-Fi, I did seem to have something going with the phantom
actually being an alien.
        In the story there is a reference to "alley hunting".  When I
was six or seven that was my hobby.   I would walk around the alley
behind the houses in Lubbock looking for all the cool stuff people had
thrown out.  My favorite quote at the time was "One man's trash is
another's treasure."

        I remember being deathly scared of climbing in the dumpsters.  I
didn't have the concept that trashmen were on a schedule, so I was
always worried the trash truck would be coming by to take the dumpster.

                                -*-

                        Monster Night

        One night I was scared.  I thought a monster was there.  But it
        was a tree.

                           My Dream

        The big trolls were after me.  They were eating everything.  We
        got them.

                        The End

Comments:
        These were on a mimeographed worksheet.  I took the liberty of
coloring it.  I can remember both being scared by the tree and having
nightmares about trolls.

                                -*-

                The Lone Knight of Thunder

        One day a knight took a ride.  In the woods were it started to
rain.  He saw a with and ran.  And then a wind came.  The witch and
knight flew a blur.

        They went so fast it made thunder in the sky.  The with and
knight blew away in the sky.

Comments:
        I don't really care to much for this story, I just like the
drawing, it shows an orange horse similar to those in Thundar the
Barbarian cartoons, one of my favorites at the time.  The knight isn't
even in the picture, for all I know I wrote the story after the picture.

                                -*-

        Anyway, that's what I wrote about when I was in second grade.  I
really don't know what the average person at that age writes about.  I
think the teacher wrote whatever the title was supposed to be and we
took it from there.

        I remember at the end of the school year the teacher told me
that I was the reason all her hair turned gray.  I think back then I
actually believed it.  About two years ago I saw that same teacher.  She
couldn't believe I had grown up.  I have absolutly no idea if you
remember what I was like.

                        The End

          ( A little 2nd grade humor )


TJH

