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        \   \    /  \    /  ____\|  |/  /     /  \   (  (____ (  (____   
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                                BBS                             

                           Proudly Presents
                               Another
                      Phucked Phreak Production
*************************************************************************
*708/808/7629**           **Tuesday Febuary 5, 1991**           **Vol #2*
**                                                                     **                  
*                                                                       *
**            Cool Things To Do At Kmart And Othe Public Places        **
*                                                                       *
**                                                                     **
*                 CopyMUCH 1991 (M) Spanky/PPP/JAckass BBS              *                                                        
*************************************************************************


 "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
 prohibitting the free excercise thereof; or abbridging the freedom of
 speech or of the press; or of the right of the people peaceably to
 assemble, and to petition the Goverment for a redress of grievances"

Under the above Law set forth in the First Amendment To The Constution
Of The United States Of America, The Author releases this work into the
pubic domain for INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY.

**Intro**

The stuff described in this file are things that I have done, and are 
pretty fuckin kick ass. Just dont be an idiot.

**Vol #2**

One of the best things to do in Kmart is to have fun with the intercom
system. All ya have to do is walk up to an intercom, pick it up and start
talking..Dont worry, no one will pay attention to you anyway cause all
Kmart employees look like hoodlums. One of the best things to do is
announce a blue light special. Normally this would be pretty lame, but not
if you used pee wee hermans voice..

Quite honestly that is for 13 year olds..Walk up to the key making machine
(ALWAYS unattended and in the auto department) and start cutting your own
key. It always get K employees real pissed, and ya can get a couple of
security guards out of hiding...That way you can spot them, the next time
ya need a new CD..When they come up to you and try to act tuff, flip
out on them..Dont get physical, just be a total smart ass..That always
sets them off balance..When they ask for your name or anything, rattle
off all the ID that you can think of real quick..Give um you SS#, DL#,
license plate number, DOB, address, phone number, work phone..They will
never be able to write quick enough...Hopefully they will hit you, and
you can watch them squirm when you have them arrested for assault..
REMEMBER! You did nothing WRONG!! There is no sign by that key machine
that says you cant use it!! If they are still following you, keep walking
out to your car and do a real nice brake torque on the way out..If at
all possible, cause a scene! 

Now that you have left Kmart, go to the nearest grocery store that uses
scanners (they should all - its 1991!)...Bring in a magic marker with
you, and go down the isle slashing through UPC codes! they will be useless
and the cashier will have to enter those all by hand instead of scanning.
If ya had about 2 hours, you could reall screw up a stores operation.

Another thing to do in the grocery store (this really pissed the fuck out
of stockers - I know, I was one) is to take a cart and walk up and down 
the isle's filling the cart up...Then when you have filled the cart up,
leave it there and leave cause you forgot you wallet! when doing this
amke sure not to go from isle 1-13 or from 13-1, do them randomly like
1,7,2,8,6,3,9,10,4, etc.. This way it will make it harder to put all that
stuff away..Make sure ya get some ice cream too, and put it right on
top of your favorite magazines...Put the bread under the 3 gallons of
milk...

The last thing to do in the grocery store requires a box cutter..
Take your box cutter and run down the milk or soda isle..Slice open 
the fronts of all the milk or soda...What a MESS!! Get out QUICK, this
is illegal!! If ya must stick around, ditch the blade..

The last thing to do, which is the most destructive would be to go to
your local strip shopping center, and put superglue in all of there
door locks! They wont be able to open the next day..Alot of FUN!

** **

Stay tuned for our next issue! If you would like to join our writing
staff, contact the sysop at the below listed BBS..
   

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