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  ...presents...          The Jesus Lizard Interview
                                                         by G.A. Ellsworth

                      >>> a cDc publication.......1991 <<<
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
 ______________________________________________________________________________

     Interview conducted by G.A. Ellsworth (Matt) in May, 1991.


     Chad and I set up interviews with The Jesus Lizard and Dinosaur Jr. for a
final project in my Audio Production course and for broadcasts on our
respective radio shows.  We drove down to Bogarts in Cincinnati and checked in
at the front door.  As it turned out, Dinosaur Jr's label, Sire Records
(subsidiary of Warner Brothers/subsidiary of Time Warner the mega corporation
that owns more media outlets than any other company in the world-ie they are
basically in control of what people in the United States read, listen to, and
see for 'news' and 'entertainment') had not left us tickets and back stage
passes at the door as they had promised.

     We were frustrated, but decided to try to meet up with the bands around
back by the stage door.  We approached David Yow and David Sims of The Jesus
Lizard at the back door and told them about Sire Records not coming through on
their end of the deal.  So being the cool guys they are they told us to just
grab some equipment and walk in the door with them just saying "we're with the
band."  Which we did.  After we were in we had to deal with the guy who was in
charge of backstage security who knew that there weren't seven members of The
Jesus Lizard. (Um, Steve Albini was hanging out too, he was running sound for
them and so he was band member number 5.)  So we convinced the security dude to
put Chad on The Jesus Lizard's guest list, and I'd continue to tell people I
was in the band.

     So we were hanging out in the dressing room below the stage when we
started rolling the tape.

Chad: Does that microphone actually pick up?  From all the way over there?

Matt: It's a shotgun mike.

Chad: How far would it pick up?  If I went across the street?

Albini (with a mock gay drawl): Please Chad, shut the door...

Steve Albini radio I.D.: Hi, this is Steve Albini and I'm not in a band or
anything, and I ceased to be important about five years ago and I don't listen
to the radio, but if I did, and I happened to live in Cincinnati, which I
don't, I would listen to WYSO, 91.3fm, Yellow Springs.

Steve telling a favorite joke when he thought he was off-mike: What's the other
one, uh, um, Gay Chinese restaurant... uh, um, Sum Young Guy Cum... heh-heh
sorry...  (No, he's not hung up on homosexuality... no....)

David Sims: Hey, who the hell are you?

David Yow: Mike the Mechanic...

Chad: ok..

David Yow: So this guys name is Cliff Lippman, and his radio name is
Cliff-Hanger.

Chad: Every DJ in Northern California has a stupid fucking name.  I think it's
a law.

Yow: Yeah, I'll bet it's worse than Southern California, woh-hoh... Well, I'll
eat... (looking at Chad) Ok, you're on the list (looking at me.)  You have to
sneak around..

Matt: Ok...

Albini: Ok, later... (pause and from outside the room) How the fuck do we get
out of here?

Stage hand: Up those stairs, to the stage, out the other door....

David Yow, Duane Denison and Steve Albini were off eating a cheese burger and
playing pool down the street.  Leaving us with Mac McNeilly and David Sims.

Chad: Yeah, I saw you guys with Sonic Youth out in St. Louis.  That was the
best sound I've heard in a long time.

Mac: That was Steve doing sound.

Matt: Was he doing it for both bands or....

Sims: No, just us.... sorta like... this doesn't really look like it's going to
be that bad, but sometimes opening for these really big bands like this we
really get shafted on the P.A.

Mac: So that's really the major reason that Steve is along is to make sure that
doesn't happen.

Sims: Besides the fact that he does a good job on sound.

Matt: So you don't play with the soundboard set up for the other band....

Sims: Yeah, and so we don't play much too quiet you know?

     When the other guys returned we started the 'official' interview.  David
Yow took my microphone and spoke to the group saying "This is the interview. 
If you have a comment to make, you can make a comment, but make it quietly, and
civil.  Keep a civil tongue, don't say fuck or cunt or swollen twat."

Albini(to the 3 groupies who came back stage to meet the band and were in the
process of drinking the band's beer.): Just keep drinking girls..

Groupie 1: Are you from a radio station?

Matt(reading the microphone switch, hoping it was on): Uh, yeah.  Uh,
lesse... AUS or EIN?

Groupie 2: That means your ass...

Matt: Chad, ask a question.

Albini: You may not touch my monkey.

Groupie 2(looking at the 10 inch cylinder which is my microphone): That is the
most awesome thing I've ever seen.  Great design.  What is that called exactly?

Matt: A shotgun mic.

Simms: This is Kim, and this is Lisa... this is Mac, David, Steve, David...

Groupie 1: Mac, David, Steve, David...

Albini: That's Jennifer, Mac, Lisa, Chad, Matt...

Yow: Jennifer, David, Chad,

Mac: Matt, Chad, this is David... (audio is kind of garbled as everyone starts
saying everyone else's name at the same time...)

Albini: Everywhere I turn, there are like stacks of Jennifers...

Yow: Ok, hey hey HEY HEY!

Chad: To start off with, who are you all, and why are you in The Jesus Lizard?

Sims: Nothing else to do.

Yow: The Jesus Lizard and because we are in The Jesus Lizard.

Chad: So you're a skate band right?

Yow: No.

Chad: You were all in different bands before you were in The Jesus Lizard
right?

Yow: Toxic Shock OI!  Tha's right, I were in Toxic Shock.

Duane: I was in Cargo Cult... before that I was in a band called Bill's Corpse
which was the best fucking band.

Yow: Actually what he meant by that was that he had his penis in a man named
Bill who was dead.  Duane is kind of into fucking dead men.

Duane: But I'm not alone in this, I was just read Montgomery Cliff's biography,
and I wasn't alone in this.  Monty had a doctor who used to raid the morgue and
put stiffs down in his car...

Chad (the segue master): So are you guys touring right now?

Yow: Um, actually, last Saturday was the last day of the last tour we're
doing... we had a little time off... we have another show on Tuesday... then in
June we go out for another month.

Chad: Where are you going?

Yow: Western Canada and California... Bye Jennifer, bye Brian... bye
man... There's actually a chance we might be opening for these guys again. 
Someplace.  There's going to be several shows with Glass Eye from Austin
warming us up.

Matt: They do a great cover of Cecilia...

Sims: Yeah, it's a GREAT cover!

Albini: They're going to be WARMING you up?

Sims: Baking.

Chad: Do you have day jobs?

Yow: It's not like we're rich, we don't have time, because we're touring
constantly... but we do make extra cash doing Mexican fireworks like this.
(he tosses a lit match at Lisa)

Lisa(Groupie #1): And turning tricks on the side.

Chad: All right.

Matt: Wow.

Sims: I had this hamburger on the corner called Wings and Rings and I had this
hamburger that just about made me vomit...

Mac: But it was juicy.

Albini: It's not made for faggots to eat... you don't want a lighter you want a
bottle opener right?

Lisa: Whatever.

Jennifer: Are you drunk already?

Matt(to Jennifer): Um, excuse me, please don't kick my tape recorder...

Yow: Oh, I'm sorry.

Matt: Uh, we're catching the chaos of the moment...

Yow: My scab's all gone... um, keep it down, keep it down....

Matt: Is this what most Jesus Lizard dressing rooms are like?

Yow: No, most have a deli platter and girls with a lot less clothes on...

Sims: Midget Clowns and small dogs.

Yow: There was this time in Pittsburgh where a midget clown was running around
giving flowers to everybody.

Chad: In the dressing room?

Yow: Yeah, and everywhere...

Chad: Was he a fixture at this club?

Yow: I have no idea...

Sims: No actually, they mixed our rider up with Queen's... They thought that
the midget was for Freddy Mercury...

Yow: Bicycle, Bicycle...

Albini: I want to smell a bicycle seat...

Yow: I could grow a mustache if I so desired.

Matt: I'll bet you could...

Yow: I damn straight could!  Chad, what's the next question?

Chad: Do you know why KRK from Flipside says that you and the Laughing Hyenas
are going to "take it to the grave..."?

Yow: I don't know why he said that, I don't know who he is, and I don't know
why he'd say that... take WHAT to the grave?

Matt: I think he meant that as a band you would "take it to the grave..."

Yow: Do you think he's so stupid as to imply, oops I spit on myself, that we're
gonna be a band till we die?

Duane: I think he meant that we were going to die soon.

Yow: Well, if you look at the big picture, we're all gonna die pretty damn
soon....  Did you know that Yoko Ono is 2 years younger than Johnny Cash?

Jennifer: Johnny who?

Chad: Any good anecdotes?

Mac: Tell them about the band with the ice machine.

Duane: Well, there was this band in Europe called Cadaver Back and they were
gonna play with us, and they set up their stuff, and they had driven 3 hours to
get there, and they ended up not playing because their smoke machine didn't
work.  So they packed up their stuff and left.  I guess it was a drag for them
because they couldn't play with smoke.

Yow: That's really sad.

Sims: I was in disbelief...

Chad: Um, groupies, have you read I'M WITH THE BAND?

Groupie 1: What does that have to do with anything...

Groupie 2: Pamela Debarres?  That book... (garbled)... Can you imagine that?

Yow: I'm illiterate.

     Dinosaur Jr. starts playing upstairs...

Yow: Oh, fuck, is this Dinosaur Jr.?  This whiney bullshit, I don't know about
this kind of crap, with the jangley guitars, and the weak ass garbage... I
don't know... is this what it's coming to?

Matt: So you like this?

Yow: Yeah, I like it a lot.

Chad: You've worked with Steve on all the albums right?  How has that been?

Yow: He's good to work with and his tongue is gentle on a man's taint.

Chad: We've run out of Jesus Lizard questions, can we give you the Dinosaur
interview also?

Matt: We're not going to get to talk to them, so you guys can do both...

Yow: Can I ask the questions?  You guys, you guys, hold it down... Matt and
Chad didn't get to talk to Dinosaur Jr. so we're going to do their interview
for them.

Duane: I'll be J.

Chad: Steve will you be Murph?

Yow: Someone stole our radio station's copy of Green Mind.  Can we have another
one?

     (Big pause, then everyone starts whining)

Albini: Um, we don't have stuff like that on tour...

Duane: Call our record company...

Albini: Aren't there people who take care of all that?

Yow: What's wrong with you guys?

Duane: We're J. Mascis!

Yow: Did you find a new bass player yet?

Albini: No.

Duane: Um.

Yow: Has the new album been doing well?

Albini: No.

Duane: It turns pretty good.

Yow: How did you get so tight with Sonic Youth?

Albini: Sex.

Yow: Have you written any songs about THEM?

Duane: The giant ants?

     (At this point David Yow starts rotating between questions on the list and
questions he made up)

Yow: Do you guys like Flipper Jr.?

Duane: Not at all, those guys suck.

Yow: Was your father really called Dinosaur?
Yow: How many times must a cannonball fly?
Yow: I like the God, the 600, the uh, Goo demo... how many songs were recorded?

Albini: Uh.

Yow: What is Lou Reed doing now?

Albini: Giving head down in Soho!

Yow: What is Louis Armstrong doing now?
Yow: What do you think of Lebanon?
Yow: Are you guys computer wackers?
Yow: A computer BBS Amigo?
Yow: Do you have anything you'd like to close with?
Yow: What is the significance of Bug?  Why not beetle or worm?

Duane: Beetle or worm.

Yow: Whose hair is the longest?
Yow: What does J. stand for?

Duane: Freedom!

     (At this point we all start laughing so hard we can't continue)
  _   _   ____________________________________________________________________
/((___))\|Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362|Kingdom of Shit.......806/794-1842|
 [ x x ] |NIHILISM.............517/546-0585|Paisley Pasture.......916/673-8412|
  \   /  |Polka AE {PW:KILL}...806/794-4362|Ripco.................312/528-5020|
  (' ')  |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194|The Works.............617/861-8976|
   (U)   |====================================================================|
  .ooM   |Copr. 1991 cDc communications by G.A. Ellsworth        08/31/91-#191|
\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.                            FIVE YEARS of cDc|



