         THIS FILE IS DEDICATED TO MY FUCKING BITCH SISTER THAT I HATE MORE
THAN 14YEAR OLD COMPUTER GEEKS!

     THIS FILE IS RECOMMENDED FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH ESPECIALLY TEENAGE BITCH
SISTERS THAT I AM I'M SURE YOU ALSO HATE WITH A PASSION!
 
     THESE ARE COLLECTIONS OF MY THOUGHTS AND EXPERIMENTS IN TERRORISING AND
RUINING YOUR SISTER'S LIFE, INCLUDING
INTENSE PUBLIC HUMILIATION, PAIN, AND WILL COVER HER BOYFRIEND.
 
     FIRST OFF, HERE IS SOMETHING WHICH IS SURE TO BRING ABOUT A CHANGE IN YOUR
HOUSE, AND COULD DEFINATELY RUIN YOUR
SISTER IF SHE IS CONSIDERED THE PERFECT CHILD, WHEN SHE'S NOT, IF SHE'S ON THE
PILL.  FIRST, TAKE HER BIRTH CONTROL PILLS, WHICH ARE GENERALLY LITTLE PINK 
TABLET'S, WHICH LOOK IDENTICAL TO THOSE ST.JOSEPH'S CHILDERNS ASPRIN...SIMPLY
REPLACE THE BIRTH CONTROL PILLS WITH THE
ASPRIN, AND IF YOUR SISTER FUCKS AROUND ALOT THERE WILL DEFINATELY BE A CHANGE
AROUND THE HOUSE, IT'S KINDA A SERIOUS
PRANK, BUT WHAT THE FUCK!
 
     TRY THIS ONE OUT.  IT'S ALLWAYS FUN TO WATCH THIS HAPPENING, ON ANYONE,
NOT JUST YOUR SISTER, WHO WERE'S CONTACTS.
 YOU KNOW HOW THEY HAVE PUT THERE SALINE SOLUTION ON THE CONTACT, WELL, DUMP
OUT THE SALINE SOLUTION, AND REPLACE IT
WITH VODKA, OR VINEGAR, OR ANYTHING THAT IS CLEAR.  OR IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
CAUSE PERMINANT DAMAGE, REPLACE THE SALINE
WITH THERE CLEANING SOLUTION, IT DOES MILD STINGING.
 
     HERE'S A SIMPLE LITTLE THING TO DO TO EMBARESS THE SHIT OUT OF HER.  WHEN
SHE'S TALKING TO HER BOYFRIEND ON THE PHONE, SIMPLY YELL SOMETHING LIKE...
"DEBI, YOU DIDN'T FLUSH THE TOILET AGAIN!", OR "DEBI, GET YOUR DOUCHE OUT OFF
THE FLOOR."  I THINK THAT THAT WILL DEFINATELY CAUSE A LOT OF EMBARESSMENT.
 
     OR, WHEN HER BOYFRIEND CALLS, SIMPLY TELL HIM SHE'S OUT WITH HER BOYFRIEND
AND MAKE UP SOME NAME, AND THAT SHE WON'T BE BACK TILL 'LATE'.
 
     A BIT EXTREME, BUT I'M CONTEMPLATING IT NOW, IS TO TAKE HAIR REMOVAL
LOTION, SUCH AS NAIR, IN THE CREAM FORM, AND
MIX IT CAREFULLY IN HER SHAMPOO, AND IF SHE'S LIKE MINE, SHE LEAVE'S THE
SHAMPOO ON FOR A LONG TIME, AND USUALLY LONG
ENOUGH FOR IT TO AT LEAST TAKE PARTIAL EFFECT, OR IT WOULD WORK BETTER IN HER
CONDITIONER.  IT WORKS IN A SIMILAR WAY
WITH HAIR COLORING SHIT, LIKE GREEN HAIR COLOR, WOULD LOOK GREAT ON HER I'M
SURE.
 
     A GAG SHOP CAN BE AN ENDLESS ARCADE OF TOYS FOR YOUR SISTER, LAST WEEK I
SAW A COMPLETELY AUTHENTIC LOOKING
LIPSTICK THAT AFTER ABOUT 2HOURS IT TURNS DULL PURPLE, SIMPLY TAKE THE LIPSTICK
OUT OF IT'S APPLICATOR THING, AND PUT
IT IN HER APPLICATOR, WORKS BEST IF SHE'S GOING TO SCHOOL.
 
     INVITE SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS OVER, LIKE ABOUT 10, WHILE YOUR SISTER AND HER
BOYFRIEND OUR OUT ON A DATE, AND YOUR
PARENTS ARE GONE...AND, WHEN THEY COME HOME YOU TAKE IT FROM THERE, BRING OUT
HER WORST POINTS, LIKE HAVE YOUR FRIENDS
MAKE COMMENTS LIKE, OHH, ANOTHER ONE AND JUST BRING OUT PERSONAL EMBARRESSING
SHIT LIKE, WHEN'S YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT
WITH YOUR GYNOCOLOGIST.
 
     THIS MAY SOUND A BIT PETY, BUT IT'S FUNNY TO WATCH ESPECIALLY IF YOUR
SISTER'S BOYFRIEND LIVES LIKE FAR AWAY,
WHILE THERE BUSY AND LIKE AWAY FROM HOME, LIKE AT A MOVIE THEATRE, AND FLATTEN
ALL FOUR OF HIS TIRES, THEN, TAKE THE
PHONE AT YOUR HOUSE OFF THE HOOK AND LET THEM FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSE
TO DO!  IT SOUNDS BAD, BUT IT WILL BE
TERRORISTIC.
 
     MY FAVORITE FOR IMBARRESMENT, SPREAD MASSIVE RUMOR'S AROUND SCHOOL, IF YOU
ARE WELL KNOWN ENOUGH, AND JUST GO FOR
IT, KILL HER REPUTATION, AND MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHIT!  MY SISTER CHANGED
SCHOOLS WHEN I DID THAT!
 
     SIMPLE LITTLE THINGS LIKE HER PICTURES CROSSED OUT WITH RED PEN,
ESPECIALLY PICTURES OF HER BOYFRIEND, MY SISTER'S
BOYFRIEND FOUND ONE OF THEM!
 
     YOU KNOW THOSE CERTAIN PEOPLE THAT YOUR SISTER NEVER WANT'S TO TALK TO,
AND EVERYTIME THEY CALL SHE SAYS, TELL
THEM I'M BUSY, OR THAT I'M NOT HOME, OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.  SAY SOMETHING
LIKE, WITH THE MUTE NOT ON AND WITH THE PHONE CLOSE TO YOUR FACE SAY, "DO YOU
WANT
ME TO TELL THEM YOUR NOT HOME LIKE WE ALLWAYS DO", OR JUST REGARDLESS SAY
"SHE'LL BE RIGHT HERE".  OR, SAY, "SHE SAYS
SHE'S NOT HOME."
 
     WELL, I THINK THAT THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH FOR ONE VOLUME, I SUGGEST YOU GO
OUT AND TRY ALL OF THESE METHODS AS SOON
AS POSSIBLE!  THEY DO PAYOFF IN THE LONG RUN, AND THEY CAN BE REAL FUN.
 
                      LATER,
                         THE METALLIAN
+-------------------------------------+
\ (C)OPYRIGHT 1987 BY METAL COMMUNICATIONS & THE NEON KNIGHTS.  THIS FILE  \
\   WAS COMPLETED ON JAN 13, 1987 AT 1AM PST.  THIS FILE CAN BE REPRINTED  \
\   FOR FREE USE ONLY, AND AS LONG AS THE CREDITS REMAIN INTACT IN THERE   \
\   ENTIRETY.   THIS FILE THANX TO: THE BLADE & THE NECROPHILIAC.          \
+    ---------------------------------+
