     Oh!...Women!
If you're well dressed, she thinks you're a playboy. 
	If you're not, she thinks you're rugged.
If you kiss her, you're not a gentleman, 
	If you don't, you're not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you're a liar, 
	If you don't, you're good for nothing.
If you agree with all her likes, she is abusing, 
	If you don't, you're not understanding.
If you visit her often, she thinks you're boring, 
	If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing.
If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel, 
	If she is visited by another, "Oh! It's natural, we're girls."
If you're a minute late, she complains, "It's hard to wait."  
	If you come on time, for hours she makes you wait.
If you propose love within a brief acquaintanceship, you're a fresh guy,
	If you postpone love later, she wonders why.
If you fail to assist her in crossing a street, you lack ethic, 
	If you do, she thinks it's one of man's tactics.
If you're jealous, she says it's bad, 
	If you're not, she doubts your love, and is not glad.
If you attempt romance, she says you don't respect her, 
	If you don't, she thinks you don't like her.
If you listen, she wants you to talk, 
	If you talk, she wants you to listen.
If you contradict her, she does not like it, 
	If you don't, she thinks you're gullible.
