                     The Uzi vs. The Computer
                     ========================
                         Yossie Silverman
     
The following advertisement appeared in one of the munition magazines:
     
  The guy on the right doesn't stand a chance.  The guy on the right
has the Osborne 1,  a fully functional computer system in a portable
package  the size of a  briefcase.  The  guy on the left  has an Uzi
submachine gun concealed  in his attache case.  Also in the case are
four fully loaded, 32 round clips of 125 grain 9 mm ammunition.
     
  The owner  of the  Uzi  is going  to get  more tactical  firepower
delivered --- and delivered on target --- in less time and with less
effort.
     
  All for $795.  It's inevitable.
     
  If you're going  up against some  guy with an osborne 1 --- or any
personal computer -- he's the one whose in trouble.   One round from
an Uzi can zip through ten inches  of solid  pine wood,  so  you can
imagine  what  it  will  do  to  structural  foam  acrylic and sheet
aluminum. In fact, detachable magazines for the Uzi are available in
25-, 32-, and 40-round capacities,  so you can  take  out  an entire
office full of Apple II or IBM personal computers tied into Ethernet
or other local area networks.
     
  What about the new 16-bit computers,  like the  lisa  and fortune?
even with the winchester backup they're no match for the Uzi.    One
quick burst and they'll find what UNIX means.
     
  Make your commanding officer proud.  Get an Uzi -- and come home a
winner in the fight for office automatic weapons.


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