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|     11   333      WAYS TO COMMIT SUICIDE...By KvM of STACC¿      |
|     11    33     For Disc Maggie.                               |
|     11   333      As I noticed that there were practically no    |
|     11     33     Belgium articles in Maggie, I and Halk de-     |
|     11   333      cided to change this fact...and here is        |
|                   the result...                                  |
|                                                                  |
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If you are one of those potential suicides the following text could
be interesting for you, 'coz there I give many examples how 
to  kill yourself without making any mess or what is the safest
way without much pain !

1) Shoot in your head:

This is, since guns are known by mankind, one of the most practised 
way to kill oneself. You just have to buy or borrow a pistol or better 
a half sew shotgun,put it in your mouth and...blast your brains out of 
your head. A disadvantage is that your mother,girlfriend or wife must 
clean a real big mess. A mixture of blood'n brain which is lying all 
over the floor, dropping from the ceiling or hanging on the wall and 
your wallpaper.

2) Hang yourself:

Another quite popular method is to hang yourself. The positive aspects 
are that the necessary equipment is only a strong rope and a place 
where you can tie up the cord.When you have the stuff you just hang 
the sling around your neck and jump from your chair or whatever you 
had under your feet. Then you feel the panic in your body growing and 
you try to cut the sling and you swing left and right, you feel the 
pain and then you are quiet, 'coz 3 minutes before you breathed the 
last air. But do not scare that you perceive your death, because you 
faint after 1 or 2 minutes hanging around!

3) Jump into death I:

A method that is often practised in big cities with great buildings is 
to tumble oneself from one of those buildings into the deep. It is a 
funny feeling to jump, because you feel like a bird and you do not 
perceive your bound on the street.The reason is that you faint  during 
your last flight, 'coz you are fuckin' scared!!! It is of course a 
ungrateful work to clean the pavement of your packed body.

4) Jump into death II:

A small jump for mankind the last jump for you is the jump you can 
make when you jump before a underground train, bus or a 'real' 
train...when you jump you see the fast approaching vehicle,it's lights 
become bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger 
and bigger,eh...sorry I got carried away...,and then you feel a
€fucking unbelievable pain when your still alive...your body is being 
dragged and pushed over the hard floor but then...everything is dark 
and the pain is over,(guess what?)you're dead !

5) Poison yourself:

Open for this event a bottle of the best champagne(*).Drink 3 or 4 
glasses and then make a deadly mixture: use one potion of Arsen powder 
and throw it in the glass.An English beer also does the trick...then
close your eyes, make a last look at your goodbye letter and then
Cin Cin!!! First it tastes a little bit bitter and you feel nothing
special, but after one, two seconds you feel your stomach acheing.
You stumble, fall on the floor and wind yourself with painful cramps.
After a short period this is also over and you lie dead on the ground!
  
(*):Instead of champagne you also could open a bottle of one of your
best wines...je vous recommande un Vin de M‚rbŠque'75.This is one of 
world's finest and rarest wines, a real collector's item...hey if you 
wanna die then do it with some style,ok. Wat je natuurlijk ook kan 
nemen is een goeie Belgische Palm (Yeeaaah! eh,sorry for the bit of 
dutch)

6) Swallow sleeping pills:

In my opinion the best way to commit suicide (I tried it several
times) is to swallow those nice small white or red sleeping pills. Go
in two different dispensaries and buy two small parcels of tablets.
Then go home,drink a pint of Palm (note:Palm is one of the best
Belgium beers), so they'll go faster down. Then carry a few glasses of
water to your bed and begin to swallow until all the pills are  hidden 
in your stomach. Then lay down and wait till you fall asleep. When
your eyes close, you know that everything is over and that you rest in 
peace if nobody brings you to the hospital the next hours!

7) Stab yourself:

This is another cheap and favourite method how to commit suicide. The
Samurais in Japan always did this when making shit and hurt their 
honour. You can just go to the kitchen, take the sharpest and longest 
knife (but not the electric one, or they sell you as dogfood) and knee 
on the floor. Then you must be strong, 'coz it's not easy to stab
yourself,  because you're afraid of pain, but when you're a real tough 
guy you stab deep in your heart, 'coz this is the only way to make
sure that you are dead!

8) Cut your veins:

This  method  is really a mess, because the blood in your body will 
spout and sprit through the room and on the wallpaper and so you hurt 
your parents, 'coz now they can't rent your room until it's renovated. 
But the procedure of your dead is not as painful as you may expect. 
You only feel at the moment you cut your veins an ache. When you see 
the blood splashing the most people faint and so the rest is quite 
easy, isn't it!
€
9) Rent a killer:

This is a really interesting method of committing suicide, but it is 
also quite expensive. How to find a killer is in my opinion not as
hard as everybody thinks, 'coz they put adds in normal newspapers
(look in the adds part). Just make a call and make a 'date'. On the
date you meet him and then you can explain him your problem that you
are too cowardly to kill yourself and that you need a specialist who
blasts your brain out of your head when you don't think of it.
Normally they accept the offer, take the money and shoot you down, but 
the most wait some days and shoot you down during your work, fix an
explosive in your car or feign a car accident. My personal comment of 
this is: Killing is his business and he practises his business good!!!

10) Electric shock I:

Take a bath, relax, have fun with your rubber duck, read a playboy and 
take care of your Eric for the last time to prepare to die quite
painful. After you've enjoyed the bath and you are clean (they hate
dirty bodys in the cemetery) you take your hairdryer and connect it.
When it reaches max speed you should sit down and drop this technical 
wonder in the water. YEEAAAHHHHH! It's fun rockin' in the bath with
your eyes jumping and your brains smoking and all muscles wince in the 
water. When the fuse jumps out, you are dead and the whole bathroom is 
wet as after a spring rain and your poor mother must clean everything, 
bad boy !

11) Electric shock II:

THis is a short and cheap way to commit suicide ! The only things you 
need are two small screwdrivers and a working power socket! As we all 
know the socket has two small holes which are only waiting to be filled 
with the screwdrivers. To get the real nice feeling of 220 Volt
Wechselstr”m you should try to push them at the same moment in the
holes of your socket. You get a small shock which let your eyes
explode and your brain dies of getting too much power supply.

12) The Death in the car I:

This kind of dying happens every day in the normal traffic and can't 
be so bad for this reason. Rent a car (don't use your own  one,'coz
your relatives would be quite unhappy with a destroyed car)and buy a 
tape including "BORN TO BE WILD". After doing that, search a nice 
street with lotsa trees on each side and a loooong way to hasten the 
car. Then turn on the cassette player and pump up the  volume. Then 
suddenly, you feel the force, you can't help it, you just must drive 
as Niki Lada in his best days. You become faster and faster and then, 
when your speedometer reaches, mmmhh, let's say 200-220 km/h, turn 
left or right, straight into a tree! The last thing you'll do is 
making a loud yell and then...you will be silent forever...

13) The Death in the car II:

€This is also a cheap method and you can do this in your own car, 'coz 
it will not damage your car when you're lying there somewhere in it...
died by a gas poisoning. Get a tube from the garden, connect it with 
the exhaust of your car and carry the other end in the car. Then you 
sit in the car, close all doors and windows and start the car. The 
exhaust gas (CO2) enters the car and after a few minutes you have no 
oxygen...result:the poisoning begins and you faint, because your brain 
hasn't got enough oxygen to control your body any longer and for the
same reason your brain dies and so you, too, quite peaceful.

