               ZEN AND THE ART OF SOFTWARE DOCUMENTATION 
 
     (Translated from the P'-u-t'ung hua dialect by W.C.Carlson) 
 
     Editor's Note:  The following are excerpts from the only known 
treatise on Zen Software Documentation.  Called "H'ring-chu-tsu", which 
literally translates to "Ink of Several Insignificant Matters", this 
treatise was written in 12th Century Japan by the scholarly monk 
E'm-ie-T'.  That it discusses Software documentation -- predating the 
advent of software by 850 years -- is but another of the mysteries of 
those who walk the true path.) 
     This article should be read twice. 
On Preparing to Write of Software 
     To prepare for the writing of Software, the writer must first 
become one with it, sometimes two.  Software is untasteable, opalescent, 
transparent; the user sees not the software, so the writer must see 
through it.  Spend long, quiet mornings in meditation.  Do not sharpen 
the mind, but rather blunt it by doing Zen crosswords. 
(Ed. note:  Zen crosswords are done by consulting only the "Down" clues; 
and always in the mind, never on paper.) 
 
     The mind should be rooted but flexible, as a long stemmed flower 
faces the Sun yet bends with the Wind.  Think not of compound adjectives 
because they tend to wire the mind in two directions.  Rather, consider 
the snowflake, which radiates in beauty in any and all directions. 
Partake of strong drink. 
 
     Do not study the Software; let it study you.  Allow the Software 
admission to your mind, but keep in the cheap seats.  Let it flow around 
you at its own pace.  Do not disturb or dismay it, but keep it from your 
private parts because it tends to coalesce there. 
 
     When the Software is with you, you will know it.  It will lead your 
mind where it should be, and prepare you for the narcolepsy that is cert 
ain to follow.  You will know when the Software is with you, and so will 
others.  You will smile with an inner smile.  Typewriters will frighten 
you.  You will fall down a lot. 
 
     The first exercise in writing Software documentation is the Haiku. 
Haiku are 17 syllable poem forms in which many ideas of a single concept 
are reduced  -- nay, distilled -- into a short, impressionistic poem. 
For example, the Haiku for preparing to write of Software goes: 
 
                   Emptiness on paper; 
                        Fleeting thought. 
                   Red Sox play at Fenway's 
                        Green Park. 
 
By concentrating on the Softwares form and function in a concise, 
subliminal, truly meaningless Haiku verse, you have transcended the 
Software, and you can then write the true manual. 
 
The following Haiku is from a Zen manual on Data Transmission: 
 
                   How swiftly whirls the disk; 
                   Data leaps to the floating head 
                   And is known. 
 
And this is on Hardware Maintenance: 
 
                   The smell of hot P.C. card, 
                     Blank screen, no bell, 
                   New parts will be needed. 
 
And another Haiku, this one on Debugging: 
 
                   All the lights are frozen; 
                   The cursor blinks blandly. 
                   Soon, I shall see the dump. 
 
Let the Haiku thoughts free your mind from your fingers.  Your fingers 
will write what must be written.  Soon you will be in Doc. Prep. 
 
On the Review Cycle 
 
     This is the murkiest path.  Storms gather and disperse around you 
many directions, none of which are in English.  The path becomes unclear 
as many an idea compete for attention.  Some of them are fatal. 
 
     But the writer of Zen Software documentation fears not the 
turbulence of review cycles.  Let it storm around you and be dry, warm, 
and safe in the knowledge that you have written the pure manual. 
Anyway, you know the printer.  You shall in the end have it your way. 
 
Editor's Note:  If you enjoyed this article, you may not wish to 
                read the following one. 
        (REAL PROGRAMMERS) 
