A DOG NAMED "SEX" 

Usually everyone who has a dog either calls him "Rover" or "Boy" or something 
similarly familiar. I called my dog "Sex." Well, Sex proved to be a very 
embarrassing name. For example, one day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away 
from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what 
I was doing in the alley at 4:00 A.M. I told him "I'm looking for Sex." My case 
came up that very Thursday. 

I went to City Hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked what I wanted 
and I told him I wanted a license for Sex.  He said, "I'd like to have one 
too." I explained, "But Sex is a dog." He replied that he didn't care how she 
looked. "You don't understand," I said, "I've had Sex ever since I was two 
years old!" The clerk looked at me and said, "Maybe we should license you." 

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that it was very important 
for me to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to be patient and wait until 
after the wedding. I explained "But Sex has played a big part in my life and 
my whole existence revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear any 
more about my personal life and decided he wouldn't marry us in his church. I 
protested by telling him how I was convinced that everyone coming to the 
wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we went to a 
Justice-of-the-Peace to be married. My whole family is now barred from the 
church. 

My wife and I took the dog along with us on our honeymoon. When I checked into 
the motel I told the desk clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I, and a 
special room for Sex. The clerk replied that every room in the motel was for
sex. Then I explained "Look, I need that extra room because Sex keeps me awake 
all night." The clerk said "Me, too, but sex in more than one room keeps me 
awake all week." 

One day I told a friend that I had had Sex on TV. He told me he thought I was 
an exhibitionist. "But you don't understand," I said, "It was a contest." 
He told me I should've sold tickets. 

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. 
I went before the judge and pleaded "Your honor, I had Sex before I was 
married." The judge said "Me, too. So what?" 

Well, now I've been thrown into jail, been married, divorced and had more damn 
trouble with that dog's name than I ever expected. Why just the other day I 
went to a psychiatrist to discuss all my troubles. During the first session she
asked me what my main problem was. I said "Well, Doctor, Sex has died and left 
my life." She said "Listen, both you and I know that sex isn't man's best 
friend so my advice is to go and get yourself a dog." 

