                        You Know It's Going to Be
                              A Bad Day When:

1.      You wake up face down on the pavement.
2.      You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
3.      You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
4.      You see a "60 Minutes News Team" waiting in your office.
5.      Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the 
        candles.
6       Your son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her 
        own business.
7.      You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the 
        part, and there aren't any.
8.      You turn on the news and they're displaying emergency 
        routes out of your city.
9.      The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look
        like your wife.
10.     Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
11.     You woke up to discover that your waterbed broke and
        then you realize that you didn't have a waterbed.
12.     Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as 
        you follow a group of Hells Angles on the freeway.
13.     Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a 
        headache.
