
                           SHIT HAPPENS

GHOST SHIT -  The kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the 
toilet paper, but there's no shitin the toilet.

CLEAN SHIT -  The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but 
there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET SHIT -    The kind where you wipe your ass 50 times and it still 
feels unwiped. So you have to put some toilet paper between your ass 
and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a brown stain.

SECOND WAVE SHIT - The kind where you're done shitting, you've already 
wiped your ass and pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize
that you have to shit some more.

POP A VAIN IN YOUR HEAD SHIT - The kind where you strain so much to 
get it out you feel like you practically have a stroke.

RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT -  The kind where you shit so much you feel 
like you lost at least 30 pounds.

CORN SHIT -   Self explanatory.

LINCOLN LOG SHIT - The kind of shit that is so huge that you are 
afraid that it will not flush down unless you break it into pieces 
with the toilet brush.

DRINKER'S SHIT - The kind of shit that you have in the morning after 
a long night of drinking.  It's most noticeable trait is the skid 
mark left on the bottom of the toilet.

GEE I WISH I COULD SHIT, SHIT - The kind where you want to shit but 
all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP SHIT -  The kind where it hurts so much coming out that 
you swear that it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEK SHIT - The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that 
your ass cheeks get splashed with toilet water.

QUICK SHIT -  The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of 
your ass and splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl and 
under the toilet seat.

MEXICAN FOOD SHIT - A class all of it's own.

OTTOMAN SHIT - The kind where to odor creeps out of the bathroom and 
throughout the building to make everyone sick or near evacuation.


