The following are "Data Processing Definitions":

Assumed Decimal Point - Located two positions to the right of
          a programmer's current salary in estimating his own
          worth.

Bit - The increment by which programmers slowly go mad.

Chaining - A method of attaching programmers to desks to speed
           up output.

Checkpoint - The location from which a programmer must forget
             in order to be successful.

Core Storage - A receptacle for the center section of apples.

Counter - A device over which martinis are served.

Disassembler - An unattended five year old child.

Error - What someone else has made when he disagrees with your
        computer output.

External Storage - A wastebasket.

Fixed Word Length - Four-letter words used by programmers in a
                    state of confusion.

Floating Control - A characteristic exhibited when you have to
                   go to the restroom but cannot leave the computer.

Floating Point - The absolute limit before floating control
                 is lost.

Flow Chart - A graphic representation of the fastest route to
             the restroom.

Input - Food, whiskey, beer, aspirin, etc.

Macro - The last half of an expression of surprise: "Holy Macro".

Memory Dump - Amnesia.

Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing
             with inanimate objects.
