========= THIS IS THE JARGON FILE, VERSION 2.1.1 (DRAFT) 12 JUN 1990  =========
  
INTRODUCTION
   This `jargon file' is a collection of slang terms used by various
subcultures of computer hackers. 

   The original `jargon file' was a collection of hacker slang from
technical cultures including 1) the MIT AI Lab, 2) the Stanford
AI lab, 3) the old ARPANET AI/LISP/PDP-10 communities, 3) Carnegie-
Mellon University, 4) Worcester Polytechnic Institute. Some entries
dated back to the early 1970s. This version was published as _The_
Hacker's_Dictionary_ in 1983.

   This new version casts a wider net than the old jargon file;
its aim is to cover not just AI but all the technical computing
cultures wherein the true hacker-nature is manifested. More than
half of the entries now derive from USENET and the C and UNIX
communities.

    The present maintainers of the jargon file are Guy L. Steele
(gls@think.com) and Eric S. Raymond (eric@snark.uu.net). Send
all additions, corrections and correspondence relating to the
jargon file to jargon@think.com.


CREDITS
   The original jargon file was compiled by Guy L. Steele Jr., Raphael
Finkel, Don Woods, and Mark Crispin, with assistance from the MIT and
Stanford AI communities and Worcester Polytechnic Institute.
Some contributions were submitted via the ARPAnet from miscellaneous
sites. The `old' jargon file was last revised in 1983; its revisions
are all un-numbered and may be collectively considered `Version 1'.

   Version 2.1: the jargon file reorganization and massive additions
were by Eric S. Raymond, approved by Guy Steele. Many items of UNIX,
C, USENET and microcomputer-based slang were added at that time (as
well as Appendix A, The Untimely Demise of Mabel The Monkey). Some
obsolescent usages (mostly PDP-10 derived) were moved to appendix B.

   Our thanks to all the USENETters who contributed entries and
encouragement. Special thanks to our Scandinavian correspondent Per
Lindberg (per@front.se), author of the remarkable Swedish language
'zine _Hackerbladet_, for bring FOO! comics to our attention and
smuggling the IBM hacker underground's own baby jargon file out to
us. Also special gratitude to ace hacker/linguist Joe Keane
(jkg@osc.osc.com) for helping us improve the pronunciation guides.

FORMAT FOR NEW ENTRIES
   Try to conform to the format already being used -- 70 character
lines, 3-character indentations, pronunciations in parentheses,
etymologies in brackets, single-space after def'n numbers and word
classes, etc. Stick to the standard ASCII character set.

   We are looking to expand the file's range of technical specialties
covered. There are doubtless rich veins of jargon yet untapped in the
scientific computing, graphics, and networking hacker communities;
also in numerical analysis, computer architectures and VLSI design,
language design, and many other related fields. Send us your slang!

   We are *not* interested in straight technical terms explained by
textbooks or technical dictionaries unless an entry illuminates
"underground" meanings or aspects not covered by official histories.
We are also not interested in "joke" entries -- there is a lot of
humor in the file but it must flow naturally out of the explanations
of what hackers do and how they think.

   It is OK to submit items of slang you have originated if they
have spread to the point of being used by people who are not
personally acquainted with you. We prefer items to be attested by
independent submission from two different sites.

   The slang file will be regularly maintained and re-posted from
now on and will include a version number. Read it, pass it around,
contribute -- this is *your* monument!
  


NOTES ON JARGON CONSTRUCTION
   There are some standard methods of jargonification which became
established quite early (i.e before 1970), spreading from such sources
as the MIT Model Railroad Club, the PDP-1 SPACEWAR hackers and John
McCarthy's original crew of LISPers. These include:

Verb doubling: a standard construction is to double a verb and use it
   as a comment on what the implied subject does.  Often used to
   terminate a conversation.  Typical examples involve WIN, LOSE,
   HACK, FLAME, BARF, CHOMP:
	"The disk heads just crashed."  "Lose, lose."
	"Mostly he just talked about his @#!!$% crock.  Flame, flame."
	"Boy, what a bagbiter!  Chomp, chomp!"

Soundalike slang: similar to Cockney rhyming slang.  Often made up on
   the spur of the moment.  Standard examples:
	Boston Globe => Boston Glob
	Herald American => Horrid (Harried) American
	New York Times => New York Slime
	Prime Time => Slime Time
	government property - do not duplicate (seen on keys)
		=> government duplicity - do not propagate
   Often the substitution will be made in such a way as to slip in
   a standard jargon word:
	Dr. Dobb's Journal => Dr. Frob's Journal
	Margaret Jacks Hall => Marginal Hacks Hall
	Data General => Dirty Genitals

The -P convention: turning a word into a question by appending the
   syllable "P"; from the LISP convention of appending the letter "P"
   to denote a predicate (a Boolean-valued function).  The question
   should expect a yes/no answer, though it needn't.  (See T and NIL.)
     At dinnertime: "Foodp?"  "Yeah, I'm pretty hungry." or "T!"
     "State-of-the-world-P?"  (Straight) "I'm about to go home."
			      (Humorous) "Yes, the world has a state."
   [One of the best of these is a Gosperism (i.e., due to Bill
   Gosper).  When we were at a Chinese restaurant, he wanted to know
   whether someone would like to share with him a two-person-sized
   bowl of soup.  His inquiry was: "Split-p soup?" --GLS]

Peculiar nouns: MIT AI hackers love to take various words and add the
   wrong endings to them to make nouns and verbs, often by extending a
   standard rule to nonuniform cases.  Examples:
		porous => porosity
		generous => generosity
	Ergo:	mysterious => mysteriosity
		ferrous => ferrocity

	Other examples: winnitude, disgustitude, hackification. 
   
   Also, note that all nouns can be verbed.  eg: "All nouns can be
   verbed", "I'll mouse it up", "Hang on while I clipboard it over",
   "I'm grepping the files". English as a whole is already heading in
   this direction (towards pure-positional grammar like Chinese);
   hackers are simply a bit ahead of the curve.

Spoken inarticulations: Words such as "mumble", "sigh", and "groan"
   are spoken in places where their referent might more naturally be
   used.  It has been suggested that this usage derives from the
   impossibility of representing such noises in a com link.  Another
   expression sometimes heard is "complain!", meaning "I have a
   complaint!"

Hacker speech style: Features extremely precise diction, careful
   word choice, a relatively large working vocabulary, and relatively
   little use of contractions or "street slang". Dry humor, irony,
   puns, and a mildly flippant attitude are highly valued -- but an
   underlying seriousness and intelligence is essential. One should
   use just enough jargon to communicate precisely and identify
   oneself as "in the culture"; overuse and a breathless, excessively
   gung-ho attitude are considered tacky and the mark of a loser.

Hacker speech style (a variety of the precisionist English normally
spoken by scientists, design engineers, and academics in technical
fields) is fairly constant everywhere. Of the four other listed
constructions, verb doubling and peculiar noun formations have become
quite general; but rhyming slang is still largely confined to MIT and
other large universities, and the P convention is found only where
LISPers flourish.

   One final note. Many words in hacker jargon have to be understood as
members of sets of comparatives. This is especially true of the adjectives
and nouns used to describe the beauty and functional quality of code. Here
is an approximately correct spectrum:

	MONSTROSITY BRAIN-DAMAGE  BUG  SCREW  LOSE  MISFEATURE
	CROCK  KLUGE  HACK  WIN  FEATURE  ELEGANCE PERFECTION

The last is never actually attained.

PRONUNCIATION GUIDE

   The pronunciation keys in the jargon listing use the following
   simple system:

   1) Syllables are hyphen-separated, except that an apostrophe
      or back-apostrophe follows each accented syllable (the
      back apostrophe marks a secondary accent in some words of
      four or more syllables).

   2) Consonants are pronounced as in American English. The letter
      "g" is always hard (as in "got" rather than "giant"); "ch"
      is soft ("church" rather than "chemist"). The letter "j" is
      the sound that occurs twice in "judge". The letter "s" is
      always as in "pass", never a z sound (but it is sometimes
      doubled at the end of syllables to emphasize this). The
      digraph `dh' is the th of `these clothes', not of `thick'.

    3) Vowels are represented as follows:

	a	back, that
	ah	father, palm
	ar	far, mark
	aw	flaw, caught
	ay	bake, rain
	e	less, men
	ee	easy, ski
	eir	their, software
	i	trip, hit
	ie	life, sky
	o	cot, top
	oh	flow, sew
	oo	loot, through
	or	more, door
	ow	out, how
	oy	boy, coin
	uh	but, some
	u	put, foot
	y	yet
	yoo	few
	[y]oo	oo with optional `fronting' as in `news' (noos or nyoos).

An at-sign is used for the "schwa" sound of unstressed or occluded vowels (the
one that is often written with an upside-down "e"). The schwa vowel is
omitted in syllables containing vocalic r, l, m or n; that is, "kitten" and
"color" would be rendered "kit'n" and "kul'r".

THE JARGON ITSELF

		       =  =

@BEGIN [primarily CMU] with @End, used humorously in writing to
   indicate a context or to remark on the surrounded text.  From
   the SCRIBE command of the same name.  For example:
	@Begin(Flame)
	Predicate logic is the only good programming language.
	Anyone who would use anything else is an idiot.  Also,
	computers should be tredecimal instead of binary.
	@End(Flame)
   On USENET, this construct would more frequently be rendered as
   <FLAME ON> and <FLAME OFF>.

			= A =

ABEND (ab'end) n. Abnormal termination (of software); crash; lossage.
   Derives from an error message on the IBM 360, but has passed into
   more general use.

ACK (ak) interj. 1. [from the ASCII mnemonic for 000110] Acknowledge.
   Used to register one's presence (compare mainstream "Yo!"). An
   appropriate response to PING. 2. [prob. from _Bloom_County_] An
   exclamation of surprised disgust, esp. in "Oop ack!".
   Semi-humorous.

ADGER (adj'r) [UCLA] v. To make a bonehead move that could have been
   forseen with a slight amount of mental effort, i.e., "He started
   removing files and promptly adgered the whole project".

AD-HOCKERY (ad-hok'@r-ee) [Purdue] n. Gratuitous assumptions made
   inside certain programs, esp. expert systems, which lead to the
   appearance of semi-intelligent behavior, but are in fact entirely
   arbitrary.

ADVENT (ad'vent) n. The prototypical computer adventure game, first
   implemented on the PDP-10 by MIT hackers Dave Lebling, Mark Blank
   and Don R. Woods as a demo for a natural-language parser they were
   hacking on at the time.  Now better known as Adventure, but the
   TOPS-10 operating system only permitted 6-letter filenames. "A huge
   green fierce snake bars the way!"

ALIASING SCREW (ayl'ee-@-sing) [C programmers] n. A class of subtle
   programming errors which can arise in code that does dynamic
   allocation via malloc(3).  If more than one pointer addresses
   (`aliases for') a given hunk of storage, it may happen that the
   storage is freed through one alias and then referenced through
   another, leading to subtle (and possibly intermittent) lossage
   depending on the state and the allocation history of the malloc
   ARENA. Avoidable by use of allocation strategies that never alias
   allocated core. See also PRECEDENCE SCREW, SMASH THE STACK,
   FANDANGO ON CORE, MEMORY LEAK, OVERRUN SCREW.

ALT BIT (ahlt bit) [from alternate?] adj. See META BIT.

ANGLE BRACKETS (ang'@l brak'@ts) [primarily MIT] n. Either of the
   characters "<" and ">".  See BROKET.

APP (ap) n. Short for `application program', as opposed to a systems
   program. What systems vendors are forever chasing developers to do
   for their environments so they can sell more boxes. Hackers tend
   not to think of the things they themselves run as apps; thus, in
   hacker parlance the term excludes compilers, program editors,
   games, and messaging systems, though a user would consider all
   those apps. Oppose TOOL, OPERATING SYSTEM.

ARENA (a-ree'nuh) [UNIX] n. The area of memory attached to a process by
   brk(2) and sbrk(2) and used by malloc(3) as dynamic storage. So
   named from a semi-mythical "malloc: corrupt arena" message
   supposedly emitted when some early versions became terminally
   confused. See OVERRUN SCREW, ALIASING SCREW, MEMORY LEAK, SMASH THE
   STACK.

ARG (arg) n. Abbreviation for "argument" (to a function), used so
   often as to have become a new word. Compare PARAM, VAR.

ASBESTOS LONGJOHNS (as-bes't@s long'jons), UNDIES (uhn'dees), or
   OVERCOAT (o'vr-koht) n. Metaphoric garments often donned by USENET
   posters just before emitting a remark they expect will elicit
   FLAMAGE.

ASCII (as'kee) Common slang names for ASCII characters are collected
   here. See individual entries for BANG, CLOSE, EXCL, OPEN, QUES,
   SEMI, SHRIEK, SPLAT, TWIDDLE, WHAT, WOW, and YIU-SHANG WHOLE FISH.
   This list is snarfed from USENET circa 1983. Single characters are
   listed in ASCII order, followed by multiples. For each character,
   "official" names appear first, then others in order of popularity
   (more or less).

    !   exclamation point, exclamation, bang, factorial, excl, ball-bat,
        smash, shriek, cuss, wow, hey
    "   double quote, quote, dirk, literal mark, rabbit ears
    #   pound sign, number sign, sharp, crunch, mesh, hex, hash,
        flash, grid, pig-pen, tictactoe, scratchmark, octothorp (from
        Bell System)
    $   dollar sign, currency symbol, buck, cash, string (from BASIC),
        escape (from TOPS-10), ding, big-money
    %   percent sign, percent, mod, double-oh-seven
    &   ampersand, amper, and, address (from C), andpersand
    '   apostrophe, single quote, quote, prime, tick, irk, pop, spark
    ()  open/close parenthesis, left/right parenthesis, paren/thesis,
        parenthisey, unparenthisey, open/close round bracket, ears,
        so/already, wax/wane
    *   asterisk, star, splat, wildcard, gear, dingle, mult ("multiply")
    +   plus sign, plus, add, cross, intersection
    ,   comma, tail
    -   hyphen, dash, minus sign, worm
    .   period, dot, decimal point, radix point, point, full stop, spot
    /   virgule, slash, stroke, slant, diagonal, solidus, over, slat
    :   colon, two-spot
    ;   semicolon, semi, hybrid
    <>  angle brackets, brokets, left/right angle, less/greater than,
        read from/write to, from/into, from/toward, in/out, comesfrom/
        gozinta (all from UNIX), funnel, brokets, crunch/zap, suck/blow
    =   equal sign, equals, quadrathorp, gets, half-mesh
    ?   question mark, whatmark, what, wildchar, ques, huh, quark
    @   at sign, at, each, vortex, whorl, whirlpool, cyclone, snail,
        ape, cat
    V   vee, book
    []  square brackets, left/right bracket, bracket/unbracket, bra/ket,
        square/unsquare, U turns
    \   reversed virgule, backslash, bash, backslant, backwhack, backslat,
        escape (from UNIX)
    ^   circumflex, caret, uparrow, hat, chevron, sharkfin, to ("to
        the power of"), fang
    _   underscore, underline, underbar, under, score, backarrow, flatworm
    `   grave accent, grave, backquote, left quote, open quote, backprime,
        unapostrophe, backspark, birk, blugle, back tick, push
    {}  open/close brace, left/right brace, brace/unbrace, curly bracket,
        curly/uncurly, leftit/rytit, embrace/bracelet
    |   vertical bar, bar, or, v-bar, spike, pipe, gozinta, thru,
        pipesinta (last four from UNIX)
    ~   tilde, squiggle, approx, wiggle, twiddle, swung dash, enyay

ASSEMBLER (as'em-bler) 1. A program translator that allows human
   beings to generate machine code using mnemonics and symbolic names
   for memory locations rather than raw binary; distinguished from an
   HLL (q.v.) by the fact that a single assembler step generally maps
   to a single machine instruction (see also LANGUAGES OF CHOICE). 2.A
   NANOBOT which is a physical REPLICATOR.  (This is the "official"
   term, coined by Eric Drexler; see NANOTECHNOLOGY).

AUTOMAGICALLY (aw-toh-maj'i-klee, aw-toh-maj'i-kl-ee) adv.
   Automatically, but in a way which, for some reason (typically
   because it is too complicated, or too ugly, or perhaps even too
   trivial), I don't feel like explaining to you.  See MAGIC.
   Example: Some programs which produce XGP output files spool them
   automagically.

			= B =

BACKBONE CABAL (bak'bohn k@-bawl') n. Semi-mythical group of
   large-site administrators who pushed through the GREAT RENAMING and
   reined in the chaos of USENET during most of the 1980s. The cabal
   mailing list disbanded in late 1988 after a bitter internal
   catfight, but the net hardly noticed.

BACK DOOR (bak dor) n. A hole in the security of a system deliberately
   left in place by designers or maintainers. The motivation for this
   is not always sinister; some operating systems, for example, come
   out of the box with privileged accounts intended for use by field
   service or the vendor's maintenance programmers. Historically, back
   doors have often lurked in systems longer than any one expected or
   planned, and a few have become widely known. The famous RTM worm of
   late 1988, for example, used a back door in the BSD UNIX
   sendmail(1) utility. See also IRON BOX, CRACKER, WORM, LOGIC BOMB.

BACKGROUND (bak'grownd) v.,adj. A task running in background is
   detached from the terminal where it was started and running at a
   lower priority (oppose FOREGROUND). Nowadays this term is primarily
   associated with UNIX, but it was appears first to have been used in
   this sense on OS/360. By extension, to do a task "in background" is
   to do it whenever FOREGROUND matters are not claiming your
   undivided attention, and "to background" something means to
   relegate it to a lower priority. Compare SLOPSUCKER.

BAD THING (bad thing) n. Something which can't possibly result in
   improvement of the subject.  This term is always capitalized, as in
   "Replacing all of the 9600 baud modems with bicycle couriers would
   be a Bad Thing." Oppose GOOD THING.

BAGBITER (bag'biet-@r) 1. n. Equipment or program that fails, usually
   intermittently.  2. BAGBITING: adj. Failing hardware or software.
   "This bagbiting system won't let me get out of SPACEWAR."  Usage:
   verges on obscenity.  Grammatically separable; one may speak of
   "biting the bag".  Synonyms: LOSER, LOSING, CRETINOUS, BLETCHEROUS,
   BARFUCIOUS.

BAMF (bamf) [from comix] interj. Notional sound made by a person or
   object teleporting in or out of the hearer's vicinity. Often used
   in VIRTUAL REALITY (q.v.) electronic fora when a character wishes
   to make a dramatic entrance or exit.

BANG (bang) 1. n. Common alternate name for EXCL (q.v.), especially at
   CMU and when used in pronouncing a BANG PATH (q.v.) in spoken
   hackish.  See SHRIEK. 2. interj. An exclamation signifying roughly
   "I have achieved enlightenment!" or "The dynamite has cleared out
   my brain!". Often used to acknowledge that one has perpetrated a
   THINKO immediately after one has been called on it.

BANG PATH (bang path) n. An old-style UUCP electronic-mail address
   specifying hops to get from some assumed-reachable location to the
   addressee, so called because each hop is signified by a BANG sign.
   Thus the path "...!bigsite!foovax!barbox!me" directs correspondents
   to route their mail to machine bigsite (presumably a well-known
   location accessible to everybody) and from there through the
   machine "foovax" to the account of user "me" on "barbox". See
   INTERNET ADDRESS and NETWORK.

BAR (bar) 1. The second metasyntactic variable, after FOO and before
   BAZ.  "Suppose we have two functions FOO and BAR.  FOO calls
   BAR..."  2.  Often appended to FOO to produce FOOBAR.

BARF (barf) [from the "layman" slang, meaning "vomit"] 1. interj. Term
   of disgust.  See BLETCH.  2. v. Choke, as on input.  May mean to
   give an error message.  "The function `=' compares two fixnums or
   two flonums, and barfs on anything else."  3. BARFULOUS,
   BARFUCIOUS: adj. Said of something which would make anyone barf, if
   only for aesthetic reasons. See CHOKE, GAG.

BAUD BARF (bawd barf) n. The garbage one gets on the monitor when
   using a modem connection with some protocol setting (esp. line
   speed) incorrect, or when someone picks up a voice extension on the
   same line, or when really bad line noise disrupts the connection.

BAZ (baz) 1. The third metasyntactic variable, after FOO and BAR and
   before QUX.  "Suppose we have three functions FOO, BAR, and BAZ.
   FOO calls BAR, which calls BAZ..." 2. Occasionally appended to FOO
   to produce FOOBAZ.

BELLS AND WHISTLES (belz and hwis'@lz) [by analogy with locomotives]
   n. Features added to a program or system to make it more FLAVORFUL
   from a hacker's point of view, without necessarily adding to its
   utility for its primary function. Distinguished from CHROME which
   is intended to attract users.

BENCHMARK (bench'mark) n. An inaccurate measure of computer
   performance.  As in "In the computer industry, there are three
   kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and benchmarks."

BERKLIX (ber'kliks) n.,adj. Contraction of Berkeley UNIX. See BSD. Not
   used at Berkeley itself. [This one, in my experience, is more
   common among suit-wearers attempting to sound "hip" than hackers --
   ESR]

BERZERKELY (b@r-zer'klee) [from the name of a now-deceased record
   label] n. Humorous, often-used distortion of "Berkeley" used esp.
   to refer to the practices or products of the BSD UNIX hackers.

BIG-ENDIAN (big'-en-di-@n) adj. Describes a computer architecture in
   which, within a given 16- or 32-bit word, lower byte addresses have
   higher significance (the word is stored `big-end-first'). Most
   processors including the IBM 370 family and the PDP-10 and the
   Intel and Motorola microprocessor families and the various RISC
   designs current in 1990 are big-endian. See LITTLE-ENDIAN.

BIG IRON (big ie'@rn) n. Large, expensive, ultra-fast computers.  Used
   generally of number crunching supercomputers such as Crays, but can
   include more conventional big commercial IBMish mainframes.
   Believed to have originated in the title of a paper given at a
   Usenix, "Unix on Big Iron". Term of approval, compare DINOSAUR.

BIG RED SWITCH (big red swich) [IBM] n. The power switch on a
   computer, esp. on an IBM-PC where it really is large and red. As in
   "This !@%$% BITTY BOX is hung again, time to hit the big red
   switch".

BIGNUMS (big'nuhms) [from Macsyma] n. 1. In backgammon, large numbers
   on the dice.  2. Multiple-precision (sometimes infinitely
   extendable) integers and, through analogy, any very large numbers.
   3. EL CAMINO BIGNUM: El Camino Real, a street through the San
   Francisco peninsula that originally extended (and still appears in
   places) all the way to Mexico City.  It was termed "El Camino
   Double Precision" when someone noted it was a very long street, and
   then "El Camino Bignum" when it was pointed out that it was
   hundreds of miles long.

BINARY (bie'na-ree) n. The object code for a program.

BIT BANG (bit bang) n. Transmission of data on a serial line
   accomplished by rapidly tweaking a single output bit at the
   appropriate times (popular on certain early models of PRIME
   computers, presumably when UARTs were too expensive; and on archaic
   Z-80 micros with a Zilog PIO but no SIO). The technique is a simple
   loop with eight OUT, SHIFT, OUT etc for each byte.  Input is more
   interesting. And full duplex (doing input and output at the same
   time) is one way to separate the real hackers from the wannabees.

BIT BUCKET (bit buhk'@t) n. The great data sink in the sky. Data that
   is discarded is said to "go to the bit bucket". On UNIX, often used
   for /dev/null. Sometimes amplified as THE GREAT BIT BUCKET IN THE
   SKY.

BIT DECAY (bit d@-kay') n. See SOFTWARE ROT. People with a physics
   background tend to prefer this one for the analogy with particle
   decay.

BIT ROT (bit rot) n. See SOFTWARE ROT.

BITBLT (bit'blit, bit'belt) n. [from BLT, q.v.] 1. One of a closely
   related family of algorithms for moving and copying rectangles of
   bits between main and display memory on a bit-mapped device, or
   between two areas of either main or display memory (the requirement
   to do the right thing in the case of overlapping source and
   destination rectangles is what makes BitBlt tricky). 2. An early
   experimental bit-mapped terminal at Bell Labs, later commercialized
   as the AT&T 5620.

BITTY BOX (bit'ee boks) n. 1. A computer sufficiently small, primitive
   or incapable as to cause a hacker acute claustrophobia at the
   thought of developing for it. Especially used of small,
   obsolescent, single-tasking-only personal machines like the Atari
   800X, Osborne, Sinclair, VIC-20, or TRS-80. 2. More generally, the
   opposite of `real computer' (see GET A REAL COMPUTER). Pejorative.
   See also MESS-DOS, TOASTER, and TOY.

BIXIE (biks'ee) n. Synonym for EMOTICON used on BIX (the Byte
   Information Exchange); BIXers believe the emoticon was invented
   there.

BLAST (blast) v.,n. Synonym for BLT (q.v.), used esp. for large data
   sends over a network or comm line. Opposite of SNARF. Usage:
   uncommon.

BLAZER (blay'zr) n. Nickname for the Telebit Trailblazer, an expensive
   but extremely reliable and effective high-speed modem, popular at
   UNIX sites that pass large volumes of EMAIL and USENET news.

BLETCH (blech) [from German "brechen", to vomit (?)] 1. interj. Term
   of disgust.  2. BLETCHEROUS: adj. Disgusting in design or function.
   "This keyboard is bletcherous!"  Usage: slightly comic.

BLINKENLIGHTS (blink'@n-lietz) n. Front-panel diagnostic lights on a
   mainframe CPU.  Derives from the last word of the famous
   blackletter-Gothic "ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!" notice in
   mangled pseudo-German that once graced about half the computer
   rooms in the English-speaking world. The following text ran: "Das
   computermachine ist nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben.  Ist
   easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit
   spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das
   rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen
   und watch das blinkenlichten." This silliness dates back at least
   as far as the London University ATLAS site in the 1960s, but
   (judging by the idioms) was probably composed by an American at
   some still-earlier date.

BLOCK (blok) [From computer science usage] 1. vi. To delay while
   waiting for something.  "We're blocking until everyone gets here."
   2. in BLOCK ON vt. To block, waiting for (something).  "Lunch is
   blocked on Phil's arrival."   

BLOCK TRANSFER COMPUTATIONS (blok trans'fer kom-pyoo-tay'shns) n.
   From the Dr. Who television series: in the show, it referred to
   computations so fiendishly subtle and complex that they could not
   be performed by machines.  Used to refer to any task that should be
   expressible as an algorithm in theory, but isn't.

BLOW AWAY (bloh @-way') v. To remove files and directories from
   permanant storage with extreme prejudice, generally by accident.
   Oppose NUKE.

BLOW OUT (bloh owt) v. Of software, to fail spectacularly; almost as
   serious as CRASH AND BURN. See BLOW PAST.

BLOW PAST (bloh past) v. To BLOW OUT despite a safeguard.  "The server
   blew past the 5K reserve buffer."

BLT (blit, belt [very rarely]) v. To transfer a large contiguous package
   of information from one place to another.  This usage has outlasted
   the PDP-10 BLock Transfer instruction for which it derives.  See
   DD, CAT, BLAST, SNARF, Appendix B.

BLUE GLUE (bloo gloo) [IBM] n. IBM's SNA (Systems Network
   Architecture) an incredibly losing and bletcherous protocol suite
   widely favored at commercial shops that don't know any better.
   See FEAR AND LOATHING.

BLUE GOO (bloo goo) n. Term for "police" NANOBOTS intended to prevent
   GRAY GOO (q.v.), denature hazardous waste, destroy pollution, put
   ozone back into the stratosphere, prevent halitosis, and to promote
   truth, justice, and the American way, etc., etc. See
   NANOTECHNOLOGY.

BNF (bee-en-ef) n. Hacker acronym for `Backus-Naur Form', a
   metasyntactic notation used to specify the syntax of programming
   languages, command sets and the like. Widely used for language
   descriptions but seldom documented anywhere, so that it must
   usually be learned by osmosis from other hackers. Consider this BNF
   for a postal address:

   <postal-address> ::= <name-part> <street-address> <zip-part>

   <name-part> ::= <first-name> [<middle-part>] <last-name>

   <middle-part> ::= <middle-name>
                  |  <middle-initial> "."

   <street-address> ::= [<apt>] <street-number> <street-name>

   <zip-part> ::= <town-name> "," <state-code> <zip-code>

   This translates into English as: A postal-address consists of
   a name-part, followed by a street-address part, followed by a
   zip-code part. A name-part consists of a first-name followed
   by an optional middle-part followed by a last-name. A middle-part
   consists of either a middle name or a middle initial followed
   by a dot. A street address consists of an optional apartment
   specifier followed by a street number, followed by a street name.
   A zip-part consts of a town-name, followed by a state code,
   followed by a zip code. Note that many things such as the format
   of a first-name, apartment specifier or zip-code are left
   unspecified. These are presumed to be obvious from context or
   detailed in another part of the specification the BNF is part of.

BOA (bo'uh) [IBM] n. Any one of the fat cables that lurk under the
   floor in DINOSAUR PENS. It is rumored within IBM that 370 channel
   cables are limited to 200 feet because beyond that length the
   boas get dangerous...

BOAT ANCHOR (boht an'kr) n. Like DOORSTOP (q.v.) but more severe,
   implies that the offending hardware is irreversibly dead or
   useless.

BOGOMETER (boh-goh'm@-tr) n. An instrument to measure BOGOSITY,
   generally a conversational device, as in "my bogometer is reading
   in the red on that idea" or "I think you just bent the needle on my
   bogometer".

BOGON (bo'gon) [by analogy with proton/electron/neutron, but
   doubtless reinforced by the similarity to "Vogon"] n. 1. The
   elementary particle of bogosity (see QUANTUM BOGODYNAMICS).  For
   instance, "the ethernet is emitting bogons again," meaning that it
   is broken or acting in an erratic or bogus fashion. 2. A query
   packet sent from a TCP/IP domain resolver to a root server, having
   the reply bit set instead of the query bit.  3. Any bogus or
   incorrectly formed packet sent on a network.  4. By extension, used
   to refer metasyntactically to any bogus thing, such as "I'd like to
   go to lunch with you but I've got to go to the weekly staff bogon."

BOGON FILTER (bo'gon fil'tr) n.  Any device, software or hardware,
   which limits or suppresses the flow and/or emission of bogons.
   Example: "Engineering hacked a bogon filter between the Cray and
   the VAXen and now we're getting fewer dropped packets."

BOGOSITY (boh-gos-@-tee) n. 1. The degree to which something is BOGUS
   (q.v.).  At CMU, bogosity is measured with a bogometer; typical
   use: in a seminar, when a speaker says something bogus, a listener
   might raise his hand and say, "My bogometer just triggered."  The
   agreed-upon unit of bogosity is the microLenat (uL). 2. The
   potential field generated by a bogon flux; see QUANTUM
   BOGODYNAMICS.

BOGUS (boh'guhs) [WPI, Yale, Stanford] adj. 1. Non-functional.  "Your
   patches are bogus."  2. Useless.  "OPCON is a bogus program."  3.
   False.  "Your arguments are bogus."  4. Incorrect.  "That algorithm
   is bogus."  5. Silly.  "Stop writing those bogus sagas."  (This
   word seems to have some, but not all, of the connotations of
   RANDOM.)  [Etymological note from Lehman/Reid at CMU: "Bogus" was
   originally used (in this sense) at Princeton, in the late 60s.  It
   was used not particularly in the CS department, but all over
   campus.  It came to Yale, where one of us (Lehman) was an
   undergraduate, and (we assume) elsewhere through the efforts of
   Princeton alumni who brought the word with them from their alma
   mater.  In the Yale case, the alumnus is Michael Shamos, who was a
   graduate student at Yale and is now a faculty member here.  A
   glossary of bogus words was compiled at Yale when the word was
   first popularized (e.g., autobogophobia: the fear of becoming
   bogotified).]

BOHR BUG (bor buhg) [from quantum physics] n. A repeatable BUG; one
   which manifests reliably under a possibly unknown but well-defined
   set of conditions. Antonym of HEISENBUG.

BOINK (boynk) [USENET] 1. To have sex with; compare BOUNCE, sense #3.
   2. After the original Peter Korn "Boinkcon" USENET parties, used
   for almost any net social gathering, e.g.  Miniboink, a small boink
   held by Nancy Gillett in 1988; Minniboink, a Boinkcon in Minnesota
   in 1989; Humpdayboinks, Wednesday get-togethers held in the San
   Francisco Bay Area.

BONDAGE-AND-DISCIPLINE LANGUAGE (bon'd@j @n dis'@-plin lang'w@j) A
   language such as Pascal, APL, or Prolog that, though ostensibly
   general-purpose, is designed so as to enforce an author's theory of
   "right programming" even though said theory is demonstrably
   inadequate for systems or even vanilla general-purpose programming.
   See LANGUAGES OF CHOICE.

BOOT (boot) [from "by one's bootstraps"] v.,n. To load and initialize
   the operating system on a machine. This usage is no longer slang
   (having become jargon in the strict sense), but the following
   variants still are. COLD BOOT: a boot from a power- off condition.
   WARM BOOT: a reboot with the CPU and all devices already powered
   up, as after a hardware reset or software crash.

BOTTLENECKED (bot'l-nekt) adj. 1. Used by hackers specifically to
   describe hardware under which performance is usually limited by
   contention for one particular resource (such as disk, memory or
   processor CLOCKS); see BALANCED. 2. Less often, applied to the
   software analogue of sense #1, a slow code section or algorithm
   through which all computation must pass (see also HOT SPOT).

BOUNCE (bowns) v. 1. [UNIX] An electronic mail message which is
   undeliverable and returns an error notification to the sender is
   said to `bounce'. See also BOUNCE MESSAGE. 2. [Stanford] To play
   volleyball. "Bounce, bounce! Stop wasting time on the computer and
   get out to the court!" 3. To engage in sexual intercourse.

BOUNCE MESSAGE (bowns mes'@j) [UNIX] n. Notification message returned
   to sender by a site unable to relay EMAIL to the intended INTERNET
   ADDRESS recipient or the next link in a BANG PATH (see BOUNCE).
   Reasons might include a nonexistent or misspelled username or a
   down relay site.  Bounce messages can themselves fail, with
   occasionally ugly results; see SORCERER'S APPRENTICE MODE.

BOXEN (bok'sn) pl n. [back-formation from VAXEN] Fanciful plural of
   `box' often encountered in the phrase `UNIX boxen', used to
   describe commodity UNIX hardware. The implication is that any two
   UNIX boxen are interchangeable.

BRAIN-DAMAGED (brayn'dam-@jd) [generalization of "Honeywell Brain
   Damage" (HBD), a theoretical disease invented to explain certain
   utter cretinisms in MULTICS] adj. Obviously wrong; CRETINOUS;
   DEMENTED.  There is an implication that the person responsible must
   have suffered brain damage, because he should have known better.
   Calling something brain-damaged is really bad; it also implies it
   is unusable.

BRANCH TO FISHKILL (branch to fish'kill) [IBM, from the location of
   one of their facilities] n. Any unexpected jump in a program that
   produces catastrophic or just plain weird results. See HYPERSPACE.

BREAK (brayk) v. 1. To cause to be broken (in any sense).  "Your
   latest patch to the system broke the TELNET server."  2. (of a
   program) To stop temporarily, so that it may be examined for
   debugging purposes.  The place where it stops is a BREAKPOINT.

BREAKAGE (brayk'@j) [IBM] n. The extra people that must be added to an
   organization because its master plan has changed; used esp. of
   software and hardware development teams.

BRITTLE (bri'tl) adj. Said of software that's easily broken.  Often
   describes the results of a research effort that were never intended
   to be robust, but equally can apply commercially developed
   software.

BROADCAST STORM (brod'kast storm) n. An incorrect packet broadcast
   on a network that causes most hosts to respond all at once,
   typically with wrong answers that start the process over again.
   Also called NETWORK MELTDOWN. See also CHERNOBYL PACKET.

BROKEN (broh'kn) adj. 1. Not working properly (of programs).  2.
   Behaving strangely; especially (of people), exhibiting extreme
   depression.

BROKET (broh'k@t, broh'ket) [by analogy with "bracket": a "broken
   bracket"] (primarily Stanford) n. Either of the characters "<" and
   ">".  (At MIT, and apparently in THE REAL WORLD (q.v.) as well,
   these are usually called ANGLE BRACKETS.)

BRUTE FORCE AND IGNORANCE (broot fohrs @nd ig'nohr-ans) n. A popular
   design technique at many software houses. Dogmatic adherence to
   design methodologies tends to encourage it. Characteristic of early
   LARVAL STAGE programming; unfortunately, many never outgrow it.
   Often abbreviated BFI, as in: "Gak, they used a bubble sort! That's
   strictly from BFI."  Compare BOGOSITY.

BSD (bee-ess-dee) n. [acronym for Berkeley System Distribution] a
   family of UNIX versions for the DEC VAX developed by Bill Joy and
   others at UC Berkeley starting around 1980, incorporating TCP/IP
   networking enhancements and many other features. The BSD versions
   (4.1, 4.2, and 4.3) and commercial versions derived from them
   (SunOS and Mt. Xinu) held the technical lead in the UNIX world
   until AT&T's successful standardization efforts after about 1986,
   and are still widely popular. See UNIX, USG UNIX.

BUCKY BITS (buh'kee bits) [primarily Stanford] n. The bits produced by
   the CTRL and META shift keys on a Stanford (or Knight) keyboard. It
   is rumored that these were in fact named for Buckminster Fuller
   during a period when he was consulting at Stanford. Unfortunately,
   legend also has it that "Bucky" was Niklaus Wirth's nickname when
   *he* was consulting at Stanford and that he first suggested the
   idea of the meta key, so its bit was named after him. DOUBLE BUCKY:
   adj. Using both the CTRL and META keys.  "The command to burn all
   LEDs is double bucky F." See also META BIT, COKEBOTTLE.

BUFFER OVERFLOW (buhf'r oh'vr-floh) n. What typically happens when an
   OS or application is fed data faster than it can buffer and process
   it. Used metaphorically of human mental processes. Ex. "Sorry, I
   got four phone calls in three minutes last night and lost your
   message to a buffer overflow."

BUG (buhg) [from telephone terminology, "bugs in a telephone cable",
   blamed for noisy lines] n. An unwanted and unintended property of a
   program, esp. one which causes it to malfunction. See FEATURE.

BULLETPROOF (bul'@t-proof) adj. Used of an algorithm or implementation
   considered extremely robust; lossage-resistant; capable of
   correctly recovering from any imaginable exception condition. This
   is a rare and valued quality.

BUM (buhm) 1. v. To make highly efficient, either in time or space,
   often at the expense of clarity.  "I managed to bum three more
   instructions."  2. n. A small change to an algorithm to make it
   more efficient.  Usage: somewhat rare. See TUNE.

BUMP (buhmp) v. Synonym for increment.  Has the same meaning as C's ++
   operator. Used esp. of counter variables, pointers (see POINTER
   ARITHMETIC) and index dummies in for, while, and do-until loops.

BURBLE (ber'bl) v. Like FLAME, but connotes that the source is truly
   clueless and ineffectual (mere flamers can be competent). A term of
   deep contempt.

BUSY-WAIT (bi'zee-wayt) v. To wait on an event by SPINning through a
   tight or timed-delay loop that checks for the event on each pass,
   as opposed to setting up an interrupt handler and continuing
   execution on another part of the task. A wasteful technique, best
   avoided on time-sharing systems where a busy-waiting program may
   hog the processor.

BUZZ (buhz) v. To run in a very tight loop, perhaps without guarantee
   of getting out. See SPIN.

BWQ [bee duhb'l-yoo kyoo) [IBM] n. Buzz Word Quotient. Usually roughly
   proportional to BOGOSITY. See TLA.

BYTESEXUAL (biet-seks'u-@l) adj. Said of hardware, denotes
   willingness to compute or pass data in either BIG ENDIAN or LITTLE
   ENDIAN format (depending, presumably, on a mode bit somewhere).

			= C =

C (see) n. 1. The third letter of the Latin alphabet. 2. The name of a
   programming language designed by Dennis Ritchie during the early
   1970s and first used to implement UNIX (q.v.). So called because
   many features derived from an earlier interpreter named 'B' in
   commemoration of *its* parent, BCPL; before Bjarne Stroustrup
   settled the question by designing C++, there was a humorous debate
   over whether C's successor should be named `D' or 'P'.  C became
   immensely popular outside Bell Labs after about 1980 and is now the
   dominant language in systems and microcomputer applications
   programming. See LANGUAGES OF CHOICE.

CAMBRIDGE NOTATION (kaym'brij no-ta'shn) [LISP] n. The now-standard
   way of writing LISP expressions as nested lists, with parens and
   spaces; as opposed to the earlier and technically purer practice of
   writing full S-expressions with cons dots. Supposedly invented as a
   KLUGE because a full parser for S-expressions would have been
   harder to write.

CAN (can) v. To abort a job on a time-sharing system. Used esp. when
   the person doing the deed is an operator, as in CANNED FROM THE
   CONSOLE. Frequently used in an imperative sense, as in "Can that
   print job, the LPT just popped a sprocket!". Synymous with GUN.

CANONICAL (k@-nahn'i-kl) adj. The usual or standard state or manner
   of something.  A true story: One Bob Sjoberg, new at the MIT AI
   Lab, expressed some annoyance at the use of jargon.  Over his loud
   objections, we made a point of using jargon as much as possible in
   his presence, and eventually it began to sink in.  Finally, in one
   conversation, he used the word "canonical" in jargon-like fashion
   without thinking.  Steele: "Aha!  We've finally got you talking
   jargon too!"  Stallman: "What did he say?"  Steele: "He just used
   `canonical' in the canonical way."

CASTERS UP MODE (cas'trz uhp mohd) [IBM] n. Yet another synonym for
   `broken' or `down'.

CAT (cat) [from UNIX cat(1)] v. To spew an entire (notionally large)
   file to the screen or some other output sink without pause; by
   extension, to dump large amounts of data at an unprepared target or
   with no intention of browsing it carefully. Usage: considered
   silly. Rare outside UNIX sites. See also DD, BLT.

CATATONIA (kat-@-toh'nee-uh) n. A condition of suspended animation
   in which the system is in a wedged (CATATONIC) state.

CDR (ku'dr) [from LISP] v. With "down", to trace down a list of
   elements.  "Shall we cdr down the agenda?"  Usage: silly.

CELL-REPAIR MACHINES (sel r:-peir' m:-sheens') n. An often-discussed
   probable consequence of NANOTECHNOLOGY; NANOBOTS specifically
   programmed to repair tissue at the cellular level. Possible uses
   include reversing freezing damage from CRYONICS procedures and
   correction of mutagen-damaged DNA (including eradication of
   retrovirii and oncogenes).

CHAD (chad) n. 1. The perforated edge strips on printer paper, after
   they have been separated from the printed portion. Also called
   SELVAGE and PERF. 2. obs. the confetti-like paper bits punched out
   of cards or paper tape; this was also called `chaff'.

CHAIN (chayn) [orig. from BASIC's CHAIN statement] v. When used of
   programming languages, refers to a statement that allows a parent
   executable to hand off execution to a child without going through
   the OS command interpreter. The state of the parent program is lost
   and there is no returning to it. Though this facility used to be
   common on memory-limited micros and is still widely supported for
   backward compatibility, the jargon usage is semi-obsolescent; in
   particular most UNIX programmers will think of this as an EXEC.
   Oppose the more modern SUBSHELL.

CHAR (keir; [rarely] char) n. Shorthand for `character'. Esp. used by
   C programmers, as `char' is C's typename for character data.

CHASE POINTERS (chays uh poyn'tr) v. To go through multiple levels of
   indirection, as in traversing a linked list or graph structure.
   Used esp. by programmers in C, where explicit pointers are a very
   common data type.

CHERNOBYL PACKET (cher-no'b@l pa'k@t) n. An IP Ethergram with both
   source and destination Ether and IP address set as the respective
   broadcast address. So called because it induces NETWORK MELTDOWN.

CHINESE RAVS (chie'neez ravs) [MIT] n. Pot-stickers. Kuo-teh. Gyoza.
   Oriental dumplings, especially when pan-fried rather than steamed.
   A favorite hacker appetizer. See ORIENTAL FOOD, STIR-FRIED RANDOM.

CHOKE (chohk) vi.  To reject input, often ungracefully.  Examples: "I
   tried building X, but cpp choked on all those #define's." See BARF,
   GAG.

CHOMP (chomp) v. To lose; to chew on something of which more was
   bitten off than one can.  Probably related to gnashing of teeth.
   See BAGBITER.  A hand gesture commonly accompanies this, consisting
   of the four fingers held together as if in a mitten or hand puppet,
   and the fingers and thumb open and close rapidly to illustrate a
   biting action.  The gesture alone means CHOMP CHOMP (see Verb
   Doubling).

CHRISTMAS TREE PACKET (krist'm@s tree pa'k@t) n. A packet with every
   single option set for whatever protocol is in use.

CHROME (krohm) [from automotive slang via wargaming] n. Showy features
   added to attract users, but which contribute little or nothing to
   the power of a system. "The 3D icons in Motif are just chrome!"
   Distinguished from BELLS AND WHISTLES by the fact that the former
   are usually added to gratify developers' own desires for
   featurefulness.

CHURCH OF THE SUB-GENIUS (cherch @v dh@ suhb-gee'-ny@s) A mutant
   offshoot of DISCORDIANISM launched in 1981 as a spoof of
   fundamentalist Christianity by the "Rev." Ivan Stang, a brilliant
   satirist with a gift for promotion. Popular among hackers as a rich
   source of bizarre imagery and references such as: "Bob" the divine
   drilling-equipment salesman, the Benevolent Space Xists and the
   Stark Fist of Removal. Much Sub-Genius theory is concerned with the
   acquisition of the mystical substance or quality of "slack".

CLASSIC C (klas'ik see) n.  The C programming language as defined in
   the first edition of the book ``The C Programming Language'' by
   ``Brian W.  Kernighan and Dennis M. Ritchie'' with some small
   additions.  It is also known as ``K & R C.''  The name came into
   use during the standardisation process for C by the ANSI X3J11
   committee.

CLOCKS (kloks) n. Processor logic cycles, so called because each
   generally corresponds to one clock pulse in the processor's timing.
   The relative execution times of instructions on a machine are
   usually discussed in `clocks' rather than absolute fractions of a
   second.

CLONE (klohn) n. 1. An exact duplicate, as in "our product is a clone
   of their product."  2. A shoddy, spurious copy, as in "their
   product is a clone of our product." 3. A PC-BUS/ISA or
   EISA-compatible 80x86 based microcomputer (in-context shorthand for
   "PC clone"). 3. In the construction UNIX CLONE: An OS designed to
   deliver a UNIX-lookalike environment sans UNIX license fees, or
   with additional "mission-critical" features such as support for
   real-time programming.

CLOSE (klohz) n. Abbreviation for "close (or right) parenthesis", used
   when necessary to eliminate oral ambiguity.  See OPEN.

CLUSTERGEEKING (kluh'ster-gee`king) [CMU] n. An activity defined by
   spending more time at a computer cluster doing CS homework than
   most people spend breathing.

COBOL FINGERS (koh'bol fing'grs) n. Reported from Sweden, a
   (hypothetical) disease one might get from programming in COBOL. The
   language requires extremely voluminous code. Programming too much
   in COBOL causes the fingers to wear down (by endless typing), until
   short stubs remain. This malformity is called COBOL FINGERS. "I
   refuse to type in all that source code again, it will give me cobol
   fingers!"

CODE GRINDER (kohd grien'dr) n. 1. A SUIT-wearing minion of the sort
   hired in legion strength by banks and insurance companies to
   implement payroll packages in RPG and other such unspeakable
   horrors. This is about as far from hackerdom as you can get and
   still touch a computer. Connotes pity. See REAL WORLD. 2. Used of
   or to a hacker, a really serious slur on the person's creative
   ability; connotes a design style characterized by primitive
   technique, rule-boundedness, and utter lack of imagination.

CODE POLICE (kohd p@-lees') [by analogy with "thought police"] n. A
   mythical team of Gestapo-like storm troopers that might burst into
   one's office and arrest one for violating style rules. May be used
   either "seriously" (to underline a claim that a particular style
   violation is dangerous) or (more often) ironically (to suggest that
   the practice under discussion is condemned mainly by anal-retentive
   weenies).

CODEWALKER (kohd'wok-r) n. A program component that traverses other
   programs for a living. Compilers have codewalkers in their front
   ends; so do cross-reference generators and some database
   front-ends. As in "This language extension would require a
   codewalker to implement."

COKEBOTTLE (kohk'bot-l) n. Any very unusual character.  MIT people
   used to complain about the "control-meta-cokebottle" commands at
   SAIL, and SAIL people complained right back about the
   "altmode-altmode-cokebottle" commands at MIT. Since the demise of
   the SPACE-CADET KEYBOARD this is no longer a serious usage, but may
   be invoked humorously to describe an (unspecified) weird or
   non-intuitive keystroke command.

COME FROM (kuhm fruhm) n. A semi-mythical language construct dual to
   the `go to'; COME FROM <label> would cause the referenced label to
   act as a sort of trapdoor, so that if the program ever reached it
   control would quietly fall through to the statement following the
   COME FROM. COME FROM was first proposed in a Datamation article in
   1973 that parodied the then-raging `structured programming' wars
   (see CONSIDERED HARMFUL). It was actually implemented for the first
   time seventeen years later, in C-INTERCAL (see INTERCAL,
   RETROCOMPUTING); knowledgeable observers are still reeling from
   shock.

COMPRESS (k@m-pres') [UNIX] v. When used witchout a qualifier,
   generally refers to CRUNCHing of a file using a particular C
   implementation of Lempel-Ziv compression by James A. Woods et. al.
   and widely circulated via USENET. Use of CRUNCH (q.v.) itself in
   this sense is rare among UNIX hackers.

COMPUTER GEEK (kuhm-pyoo-tr geek) n.  One who eats [computer] bugs
   for a living. One who fulfills all of the dreariest negative
   stereotypes about hackers: an asocial, malodorous, pasty-faced
   monomaniac with all the personality of a cheese grater. Cannot be
   used by outsiders without implied insult to all hackers; compare
   black-on-black usage of "nigger". A computer geek may be either a
   fundamentally clueless individual or a true-hacker in LARVAL STAGE.
   Also called TURBO NERD, TURBO GEEK. See also CLUSTERGEEKING.

COMPUTRON (kom-pyoo-tron) n. A notional unit of computing power
   combining instruction speed and storage capacity, dimensioned
   roughly in instructions-per- sec times megabytes-of-main-store
   types megabytes-of-mass-storage.  "That machine can't run GNU
   Emacs, it doesn't have enough computrons!" This term is usually
   used in metaphors that treat computing power as a fungible
   commodity good like a crop yield or diesel horsepower. See BITTY
   BOX, GET A REAL COMPUTER, TOY, CRANK.

CONNECTOR CONSPIRACY (k@-nek'ter k@n-spi'r@h-see) [probably came into
   prominence with the appearance of the KL-10, none of whose
   connectors match anything else] n. The tendency of manufacturers
   (or, by extension, programmers or purveyors of anything) to come up
   with new products which don't fit together with the old stuff,
   thereby making you buy either all new stuff or expensive interface
   devices.

CONS (kons) [from LISP] 1. v. To add a new element to a list.  2.
   CONS UP: v. To synthesize from smaller pieces: "to cons up an
   example".

CONSIDERED HARMFUL (k@n-si'derd harm'fl) adj. Edsger Dijkstra's
   infamous March 1968 CACM note, _Goto_Statement_Considered_Harmful_,
   fired the first salvo in the "structured programming" wars. In the
   years since then a number of both serious papers and parodies have
   borne titles of the form "X considered Y" in reference to it. The
   "structured programming" wars eventually blew over with the
   realization that both sides were wrong, but use of such titles has
   remained as a persistent minor in-joke.

COOKIE MONSTER (ku'kee mon'str) n. Any of a family of early (1970s)
   hacks reported on ITS and elswhere that would lock up either the
   victim's terminal (on a time-sharing machine) or the operator's
   console (on a batch mainframe), repeatedly demanding "I WANT A
   COOKIE". The required responses ranged in complexity from "HAVE A
   COOKIE" upward. See also WABBIT.

COPYLEFT (kop'ee-left) n. 1. The copyright notice carried by GNU
   EMACS and other Free Software Foundation software granting re-use
   and reproduction rights to all comers. 2. By extension, any
   copyright notice intended to achieve similar aims.

CORE (kor) n. Main storage or DRAM. Dates from the days of
   ferrite-core memory; now archaic, but still used in the UNIX
   community and by old-time hackers or those who would sound like
   same.

CORE DUMP (kor duhmp) n. [from UNIX] 1. Catastrophic program failure
   due to internal error. 2. By extension, used for humans passing out
   or registering extreme shock. Usage: rare.

CORE WARS (kohr wohrz) n. A game between "assembler" programs in a
   simulated machine, where the objective is to kill your opponent's
   program by overwriting it. This was popularized by A.K. Dewdney's
   column in _Scientific_American_. It is rumored that the game is a
   civilized version of an amusement common on pre-MMU multitasking
   machines.

CORGE (korj) n. Yet another meta-syntactic variable, invented by Mike
   Galleher and propagated by the Gosmacs documentation. See GRAULT.

CP/M (see-pee-em) [Control Program for Microcomputers] An early
   microcomputer OS written by hacker Gary Kildall for Z-80 based
   machines, very popular in the late 1970s until virtually wiped out
   by MS-DOS after the release of the IBM PC in 1981 (legend has it
   that Kildall's company blew their chance to write the PC's OS
   because Kildall decided to spend the day IBM's reps wanted to meet
   with him enjoying the perfect flying weather in his private plane).
   Many of its features and conventions strongly resemble those of
   early DEC operating systems such as OS9, RSTS and RSX-11.  See
   MS-DOS, OPERATING SYSTEM.

CRACKER (krak'r) n. One who breaks security on a system. Coined c.
   1985 by hackers in defense against journalistic misuse of HACKER,
   see definition #6.

CRANK (krank) [from automotive slang] v. Verb used to describe the
   performance of a machine, especially sustained performance. "This
   box cranks about 6 MegaFLOPS, with a burst mode of twice that on
   vectorized operations"

CRASH (krash) 1. n. A sudden, usually drastic failure.  Most often
   said of the system (q.v., definition #1), sometimes of magnetic
   disk drives.  "Three lusers lost their files in last night's disk
   crash."  A disk crash which entails the read/write heads dropping
   onto the surface of the disks and scraping off the oxide may also
   be referred to as a "head crash".  2. v. To fail suddenly.  "Has
   the system just crashed?"  Also used transitively to indicate the
   cause of the crash (usually a person or a program, or both).
   "Those idiots playing SPACEWAR crashed the system."  3. Sometimes
   said of people hitting the sack after a long HACKING RUN, see GRONK
   OUT.

CRASH AND BURN (krash @n bern) v.,n. A spectacular crash, in the mode
   of the conclusion of the car chase scene from Steve McQueen's
   "Bullitt".  Sun-3 monitors losing the flyback transformer and
   lightning strikes on VAX-11/780 backplanes are notable crash and
   burn generators.

CRAWLING HORROR (kraw'lng hor'@r) n. Ancient crufty hardware or
   software that forces beyond the control of the hackers at a site
   refuse to let die. Like DUSTY DECK or GONKULATOR, but connotes that
   the thing described is not just an irritation but an active menace
   to health and sanity.  "Mostly we code new stuff in C, but they pay
   us to maintain one big Fortran II application from nineteen-sixty-X
   that's a real crawling horror...". Compare WOMBAT.

CRAY (kray) n. 1. One of the line of supercomputers designed by Cray
   Research. 2. Any supercomputer at all.

CRAYON (krayon) n. Someone who works on Cray supercomputers.  More
   specifically implies a programmer, probably of the CDC ilk,
   probably male, and and almost certainly wearing a tie (irrespective
   of gender).  Unicos systems types who have a Unix background tend
   not to be described as crayons.

CREEPING FEATURITIS (kree'ping fee-ch@r-ie't@s) n. Describes a
   systematic tendency to load more CHROME onto systems at the expence
   of whatever ELEGANCE they may have posessed when originally
   designed. See FEEPING CREATURITIS.  "You know, the main problem
   with BSD UNIX has always been creeping featuritis".

CRETIN (kre'tn) 1. n. Congenital LOSER (q.v.).  2. CRETINOUS: adj.
   See BLETCHEROUS and BAGBITING.  Usage: somewhat ad hominem.

CRIPPLEWARE (krip'@l-weir) n. SHAREWARE which has some important
   functionality deliberately removed, so as to entice potential users
   to pay for a working version. See also GUILTWARE.

CRLF (ker'lif, sometimes krul'lif) n. A carriage return (CR) followed
   by a line feed (LF).  See TERPRI.

CROCK (krok) [from mainstream "crock of shit"] n. 1. An awkward
   feature or programming technique that ought to be made cleaner.
   Example: Using small integers to represent error codes without the
   program interpreting them to the user (as in, for example, UNIX
   make(1)) is a crock.  2. Also, a technique that works acceptably
   but which is quite prone to failure if disturbed in the least, for
   example depending on the machine opcodes having particular bit
   patterns so that you can use instructions as data words too; a
   tightly woven, almost completely unmodifiable structure.

CROSS-POST (kros'pohst) [USENET] To post an article to several
   newsgroups or topics.

CRUDWARE (kruhd-weir) n. Pejorative term for the hundreds of megabytes
   of low-quality FREEWARE circulated by user's groups and BBS systems
   in the micro-hobbyist world. "Yet *another* set of disk catalog
   utilities for MS-DOS?  What crudware!"

CRUFTY (kruhf'tee) [from "cruddy"] adj. 1. Poorly built, possibly
   overly complex.  "This is standard old crufty DEC software".  Hence
   CRUFT, n. shoddy construction.  2. Unpleasant, especially to the
   touch, often with encrusted junk.  Like spilled coffee smeared with
   peanut butter and catsup.  Hence CRUFT, n. disgusting mess.  3.
   Generally unpleasant.  CRUFTY or CRUFTIE n. A small crufty object
   (see FROB); often one which doesn't fit well into the scheme of
   things.  "A LISP property list is a good place to store crufties
   (or, random cruft)."  [Note: Does CRUFT have anything to do with
   the Cruft Lab at Harvard?  I don't know, though I was a Harvard
   student. - GLS]

CRUFT TOGETHER, CRUFT UP (kruhft too-ge'thr, kruhft uhp) v. To throw
   together something ugly but temporarily workable. Like v. KLUGE,
   but more pejorative. See CRUFTY.

CRUNCH (kruhnch) v. 1. To process, usually in a time-consuming or
   complicated way.  Connotes an essentially trivial operation which
   is nonetheless painful to perform.  The pain may be due to the
   triviality being imbedded in a loop from 1 to 1000000000.  "FORTRAN
   programs do mostly number crunching."  2. To reduce the size of a
   file by a complicated scheme that produces bit configurations
   completely unrelated to the original data, such as by a Huffman
   code.  (The file ends up looking like a paper document would if
   somebody crunched the paper into a wad.)  Since such compression
   usually takes more computations than simpler methods such as
   counting repeated characters (such as spaces) the term is doubly
   appropriate.  (This meaning is usually used in the construction
   "file crunch(ing)" to distinguish it from "number crunch(ing)".)
   See COMPRESS.  3. n. The character "#".  Usage: used at Xerox and
   CMU, among other places. See ASCII.

CRUNCHA CRUNCHA CRUNCHA (kruhnchah kruhnchah kruhnchah) interj. An
   encouragement sometimes muttered to a machine bogged down in
   serious GROVELLING. Also describes a notional sound made by
   grovelling hardware. See WUGGA WUGGA.

CRYONICS (kry-o'niks) n. The practice of freezing oneself in hopes of
   being revived in the future by CELL REPAIR MACHINES. A possible
   route to technological immortality already taken by 1990 by more
   than a handful of persons with terminal illnesses.
 
CTSS (see-tee-ess-ess) n. Compatible Time-Sharing System. An early
   (1963) experiment in the design of interactive time-sharing
   operating systems. Cited here because it was ancestral to MULTICS,
   UNIX, and ITS (q.v.).

CUBING (kyoo'bing) [parallel with "tubing"] v. 1. Hacking on an IPSC
   (Intel Personal SuperComputer) hypercube.  "Louella's gone cubing
   AGAIN!!"  2. An indescribable form of self-torture, see sense #1.

CUSPY (kuhs'pee) [from the DEC acronym CUSP, for Commonly Used System
   Program, i.e., a utility program used by many people] [WPI] adj. 1.
   (of a program) Well-written.  2. Functionally excellent.  A program
   which performs well and interfaces well to users is cuspy.  See
   RUDE.

CYBERPUNK (sie'ber-puhnk) [orig. by SF critic Garder Dozois] n.,adj. A
   subgenre of SF launched in 1982 by William Gibson's epoch-making
   novel _Neuromancer_. Gibson's near-total ignorance of computers and
   the present-day hacker culture enabled him to speculate about the
   role of computers and hackers in futures in ways hackers have since
   found both irritatingly naive and tremendously stimulating.
   Gibson's work was widely imitated, in particular by the short-lived
   but innovative "Max Headroom" TV series. See CYBERSPACE, ICE,
   GO FLATLINE.

CYBERSPACE (sie'ber-spays) n. Notional "information-space" loaded with
   visual cues and navigable with brain-computer interfaces called
   "cyberspace decks"; a characteristic prop of CYBERPUNK SF. At time
   of writing (1990) serious efforts to construct VIRTUAL REALITY
   interfaces modelled explicitly on CYBERSPACE are already under way,
   using more conventional devices such as glove sensors and binocular
   TV headsets. Few hackers are prepared to outright deny the
   possibility of a cyberspace someday evolving out of THE NETWORK.

			= D =

DAEMON (day'mun, dee'mun) [archaic form of "demon", which has slightly
   different connotations (q.v.)] n. A program which is not invoked
   explicitly, but which lays dormant waiting for some condition(s) to
   occur.  The idea is that the perpetrator of the condition need not
   be aware that a daemon is lurking (though often a program will
   commit an action only because it knows that it will implicitly
   invoke a daemon).  For example, writing a file on the lpt spooler's
   directory will invoke the spooling daemon, which prints the file.
   The advantage is that programs which want (in this example) files
   printed need not compete for access to the lpt.  They simply enter
   their implicit requests and let the daemon decide what to do with
   them.  Daemons are usually spawned automatically by the system, and
   may either live forever or be regenerated at intervals.  Usage:
   DAEMON and DEMON (q.v.) are often used interchangeably, but seem to
   have distinct connotations.  DAEMON was introduced to computing by
   CTSS people (who pronounced it dee'mon) and used it to refer to
   what is now called a DRAGON or PHANTOM (q.v.).  The meaning and
   pronunciation have drifted, and we think this glossary reflects
   current usage.

DAY MODE (day mohd) See PHASE (of people).

DD (dee-dee) [from archaic UNIX dd(1)] v. Equivalent to CAT or BLT.
   Very rare outside UNIX sites and now nearly obsolescent even there,
   as dd(1) has been DEPRECATED for a long time. Replaced by BLT or
   simple English `copy'.

DEADLOCK (ded'lok) n. A situation wherein two or more processes are
   unable to proceed because each is waiting for another to do
   something.  A common example is a program communicating to a PTY or
   STY, which may find itself waiting for output from the PTY/STY
   before sending anything more to it, while the PTY/STY is similarly
   waiting for more input from the controlling program before
   outputting anything.  (This particular flavor of deadlock is called
   "starvation".  Another common flavor is "constipation", where each
   process is trying to send stuff to the other, but all buffers are
   full because nobody is reading anything.)  See DEADLY EMBRACE, RACE
   CONDITION.

DEADLY EMBRACE (ded'lee em-brays') n. Same as DEADLOCK (q.v.), though
   usually used only when exactly two processes are involved.  DEADLY
   EMBRACE is the more popular term in Europe; DEADLOCK in the United
   States.

DEFENESTRATION (dee-fen-uh-stray'shn) [from the traditional
   Czechoslovak method of assassinating prime ministers, via ESR and
   SF fandom] n. Proper karmic retribution for an incorrigible
   punster. "Oh, ghod, that was *awful*!" "Quick! Defenestrate him!"
   See also H INFIX.

DEEP SPACE (deep spays) adj. 1. Describes the "location" of any
   program which has gone OFF THE TROLLEY. Esp. used of programs which
   just sit there silently grinding long after either failure or some
   output is expected. 2. Also, the metaphorical "location" of a human
   so dazed and/or confused or caught up in some esoteric form of
   BOGOSITY that he/she no longer responds coherently to normal
   communication. Compare PAGE OUT.

DEMENTED (dee-men't@d) adj. Yet another term of disgust used to
   describe a program.  The connotation in this case is that the
   program works as designed, but the design is bad.  For example, a
   program that generates large numbers of meaningless error messages
   implying it is on the point of imminent collapse.

DEMIGOD (de'mi-god) n. Hacker with years of experience, a national
   reputation, and a major role in the development of at least one
   design, tool or game used by or known to more than 50% of the
   hacker community. To qualify as a genuine demigod, the person must
   recognizably identify with the hacker community and have helped
   shape it. Major demigods include Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie
   (co-inventors of UNIX and C) and Richard M. Stallman (inventor of
   EMACS). In their hearts of hearts most hackers dream of someday
   becoming demigods themselves, and more than one major software
   project has been driven to completion by the author's veiled hopes
   of apotheosis. See also NET.GOD, TRUE-HACKER.

DEMON (dee'mun) n. 1. [MIT] A portion of a program which is not invoked
   explicitly, but which lays dormant waiting for some condition(s) to
   occur.  See DAEMON.  The distinction is that demons are usually
   processes within a program, while daemons are usually programs
   running on an operating system.  Demons are particularly common in
   AI programs.  For example, a knowledge manipulation program might
   implement inference rules as demons.  Whenever a new piece of
   knowledge was added, various demons would activate (which demons
   depends on the particular piece of data) and would create
   additional pieces of knowledge by applying their respective
   inference rules to the original piece.  These new pieces could in
   turn activate more demons as the inferences filtered down through
   chains of logic.  Meanwhile the main program could continue with
   whatever its primary task was. 2. [outside MIT] Often used
   equivalently to DAEMON, especially under UNIX where the the latter
   spelling and pronunciation is considered mildly archaic.

DEPRECATED (de'pre-kay-t@d) [from UNIX documentation] n. Said of a
   program or feature that is considered obsolescent and in the
   process of being phased out, usually in favor of a specified
   replacement. Deprecated features can, unfortunately, linger on for
   many years.

DE-REZZ (dee rez) [from the movie TRON] v. To disappear or dissolve;
   the image that goes with it is of an object breaking up into raster
   lines and static and then dissolving. Occasionally used of a 
   person who seems to have suddenly "fuzzed out" mentally rather
   than physically. Usage: extremely silly, also rare. This verb was
   actually invented as *fictional* hacker slang, and adopted in a
   spirit of irony by real hackers years after the fact.

DEVO (dee'vo) [orig. in-house slang at Symbolics] n.  A person in a
   development group.  See also DOCO and MANGO.

DICKLESS WORKSTATION (dik'less werk'sta-shn) n. Extremely pejorative
   hackerism for "diskless workstation", a class of botches including
   the Sun 3/50 and other machines designed exclusively to network
   with an expensive central disk server. These combine all the
   disadvantages of time-sharing with all the disadvantages of
   distributed personal computers.

DIDDLE (di'dl) v. To work with in a not particularly serious manner.
   "I diddled with a copy of ADVENT so it didn't double-space all the
   time."  "Let's diddle this piece of code and see if the problem
   goes away."  See TWEAK and TWIDDLE.

DIKE (diek) [from "diagonal cutters"] v. To remove a module or disable
   it.  "When in doubt, dike it out."

DING (ding) n.,v. Synonym for FEEP (q.v.). Usage: rare among hackers,
   but commoner in THE REAL WORLD.

DINOSAUR (die'n@-sor) n. Any hardware requiring raised flooring and
   special power.  Used especially of old minis and mainframes when
   contrasted with newer microprocessor-based machines. In a famous
   quote from the '88 UNIX EXPO, Bill Joy compared the mainframe in
   the massive IBM display with a grazing dinosaur, "with a truck
   outside pumping its bodily fluids through it". IBM was not amused.
   Compare BIG IRON.

DINOSAUR PEN (die'n@-sor pen) n. A traditional mainframe computer
   room complete with raised flooring, special power, its own
   ultra-heavy-duty air conditioning, and a side order of Halon fire
   extinguishers. See BOA.

DISCORDIANISM (dis-kor'di-uhn-ism) n. The veneration of ERIS, aka
   Discordia.  Popularized by Robert Anton Wilson's _Illuminatus!_
   trilogy as a sort of self-subverting dada-Zen for Westerners -- it
   should on no account be taken seriously but is far more serious
   than most jokes. Usually connected with an elaborate conspiracy
   theory/joke involving millenia-long warfare between the partisans
   of Eris and a malevolent secret society called the Illuminati. See
   Appendix C and HA HA ONLY SERIOUS.

DISPLAY HACK (dis-play' hak) n. A program with the same approximate
   purpose as a kaleidoscope: to make pretty pictures. Famous display
   hacks include MUNCHING SQUARES, SMOKING CLOVER, the BSD UNIX
   rain(6) program, worms(6) on miscellaneous UNIXes, and the X kaleid
   program.

DOCO (do'ko) [orig. in-house slang at Symbolics] n.  A documentation
   writer.  See also DEVO and MANGO.

DO PROTOCOL (doo proh'toh-kahl) [from network protocol programming] v.
   To perform an interaction with somebody or something that follows a
   clearly defined procedure.  For example, "Let's do protocol with
   the check" at a restaurant means to ask the waitress for the check,
   calculate the tip and everybody's share, generate change as
   necessary, and pay the bill.

DOGWASH (dog'wahsh) [From a quip in the "urgency" field of a very
   optional software change request, about 1982.  It was something
   like, "Urgency: Wash your dog first."] v.,n. A project of minimal
   priority, undertaken as an escape from more serious work.  Also, to
   engage in such a project. Many games and much FREEWARE gets written
   this way.

DON'T DO THAT, THEN (dohnt doo dhat, dhen) interj. Stock response to a
   user complaint.  "When I type control-S, the whole system comes to
   a halt for thirty seconds."  "Don't do that, then." Compare RTFM.

DONGLE (don-gl) n. 1. A security device for commercial microcomputer
   programs consisting of a serialized EPROM and some drivers in an
   RS-232 connector shell. Programs that use a dongle query the port
   at startup and programmed intervals thereafter, and terminate if it
   does not respond with the dongle's programmed validation code.
   Thus, users could make as many copies of the program as they want
   but must pay for each dongle. The idea was clever but a practical
   failure, as users disliked tyng up a serial port this way. 2. By
   extension, any physical electronic key or transferable ID required
   for a program to function. See DONGLE DISK.

DONGLE-DISK (don'g@l disk) n. See DONGLE; a DONGLE-DISK is a floppy
   disk with some coding which allows an application to identify it
   uniquely. It can therefore be used as a DONGLE. Also called a "key
   disk".

DOORSTOP (dor-stop) n. Used to describe equipment that is
   non-functional and halfway expected to remain so, especially
   obsolescent equipment kept around for political reasons or
   ostensibly as a backup.  "When we get another Wyse-50 in here that
   ADM3 will turn into a doorstop." Compare BOAT ANCHOR.

DOT FILE (dot fiel) [UNIX] n. A file that is invisible to normal
   directory-browsing tools (on UNIX, files named beginning with a dot
   are invisible).

DOWN (down) 1. adj. Not working.  "The up escalator is down."  2. TAKE
   DOWN, BRING DOWN: v. To deactivate, usually for repair work.  See
   UP.

DOWNLOAD (down'lohd) v. To transfer data or (esp.) code from a larger
   `host' system (esp. a mainframe) over a digital comm link to a
   smaller `client' system, esp. a microcomputer or specialized
   peripheral device. Oppose UPLOAD.

DRAGON (dra'gn) n. [MIT] A program similar to a "daemon" (q.v.),
   except that it is not invoked at all, but is instead used by the
   system to perform various secondary tasks.  A typical example would
   be an accounting program, which keeps track of who is logged in,
   accumulates load- average statistics, etc.  Under ITS, many
   terminals displayed a list of people logged in, where they are,
   what they're running, etc. along with some random picture (such as
   a unicorn, Snoopy, or the Enterprise) which is generated by the
   "NAME DRAGON".  See PHANTOM.  Usage: rare outside MIT -- under UNIX
   and most other OSs this would be called a `background DEMON' or
   `DAEMON' (q.v).

DRAGON BOOK, THE (dra'gn buk, dh@) n. Aho, Sethi and Ullman's classic
   compilers text _Compilers:_Principles,_Techniques,_and_Tools_, so
   called because of the cover design depicting a knight slaying a
   dragon labelled "compiler complexity".

DRAIN (drayn) [IBM] v. Syn. for FLUSH (sense 4).

DRECNET (drek'net) [fr. Yiddish `dreck'] n. Deliberate distortion of
   DECNET, a networking protocol used in the VMS community. So-called
   because DEC helped write the Ethernet specification, and then
   (either stupidly or as a malignant customer-control tactic)
   violated that spec in the design of DRECNET (among other things,
   they implemented the wrong HEARTBEAT speed).

DROOL-PROOF PAPER (drool-proof pay'per) n. Documentation which has
   been obsessively dumbed down, to the point where only a CRETIN
   could bear to read it, is said to have succumbed to the
   "drool-proof paper syndrome" or to have been "written on
   drool-proof paper".

DROP ON THE FLOOR (drop on dh@ flor) vt. To discard silently.
   Example: "The gateway ran out of memory, so it just started
   dropping packets on the floor." Also frequently used of faulty mail
   and netnews relay sites that lose messages.

DRUGGED (druhgd) adj., also ON DRUGS. Conspicuously stupid, heading
   towards BRAIN DAMAGE. Often accompanied by a pantomime of toking a
   joint.

DRUNK MOUSE SYNDROME (druhnk mows sin'drohm) n.  A malady exhibited by
   the mouse pointing device of some workstations.  The typical
   symptom is for the mouse cursor on the screen to move to random
   directions and not in sync with the moving of the actual mouse.
   Can usually be corrected by unplugging the mouse and plugging it
   back again.

DUSTY DECKS (duhs'tee deks) [a holdover from card-punch days] n. Old
   software (especially applications) with which one is obliged to
   remain compatible. Used esp. when referring to old scientific and
   number-crunching software, much of which was written in FORTRAN
   and very poorly documented but would be too expensive to replace.
   See FOSSIL.

DWIM (dwim) [Do What I Mean] 1. adj. Able to guess, sometimes even
   correctly, what result was intended when provided with bogus input.
   Often suggested in jest as a desired feature for a complex program.
   A related term, more often seen as a verb, is DTRT (Do The Right
   Thing).  2. n. The INTERLISP function that attempts to accomplish
   this feat by correcting many of the more common errors.  See HAIRY.

			= E =

EASTER EGGING (ees'tr e'g@ng) [IBM] n. The act of replacing unrelated
   parts more or less at random in hopes that a malfunction will go
   away. Hackers consider this the normal operating mode of FIELD CIRCUS
   techs and do not love them for it.

EARTHQUAKE (erth'kwayk) [IBM] n. The ultimate REAL WORLD shock test for
   computer hardware. Hacker sources at IBM deny the rumor that the 
   Bay Area quake of 1989 was initiated by the company to test Q&A at
   its California plants.

EIGHTY-COLUMN MIND (ay'tee kol'@m miend) [IBM] n. The sort said to be
   employed by persons for whom the transition from card to tape was
   traumatic (nobody has dared tell them about disks yet). It is said
   that these people will be buried `9-EDGE-FORWARD-FACE-DOWN'. [These
   people are thought by most hackers to dominate IBM's customer base,
   and its thinking -- ESR].

ELEGANT (e'l@-gnt) [from mathematical usage] adj. Said of an
   algorithm, program, or system that combines simplicity, power, and
   a certain ineffable grace of design. Higher praise than `clever',
   `winning' or even CUSPY.

ELEPHANTINE (el'@-fn-teen) adj. Used of programs or systems which are
   both conspicuous HOGs (due perhaps to poor design founded on BRUTE
   FORCE AND IGNORANCE) and exceedingly HAIRY in source form. An
   elephantine program may be functional and even friendly, but (like
   the old joke about being in bed with an elephant) it's tough to
   have around all the same, esp.  a bitch to maintain. In extreme
   cases, hackers have been known to make trumpeting sounds or perform
   expressive zoomorphic mime at the mention of the offending program.
   Usage: semi-humorous. Compare "has the elephant nature" and the
   somewhat more pejorative MONSTROSITY. See also SECOND-SYSTEM
   SYNDROME.

EMACS (ee'maks) [from Editing MACroS] n. The ne plus ultra of hacker
   editors, a program editor with an entire LISP interpreter inside
   it.  Originally written by Richard Stallman in TECO at the MIT-AI
   lab, but the most widely used versions now run under UNIX.  It
   includes facilities to run compilation subprocesses and send and
   receive mail; many hackers spend up to 80% of their tube time
   inside it.

EMAIL (ee-mayl) v.,n. Electronic mail. Contrast SNAIL-MAIL.

EMOTICON (ee-moh'ti-cahn) n. An ASCII glyph used to indicate an
   emotional state in email or news. Hundreds have been proposed, but
   only a few are in common use. These include:

   :-)   Smiley face (indicates laughter)
   :-(   Frowney face (indicates sadness, anger or upset)
   ;-)   Half-smiley (ha ha only serious), aka winkey face.
   :-/   Wry face

   Of these, the first two are by far the most frequently encountered.
   Hyphenless forms of them are common on CompuServe, GEnie and BIX; see
   also BIXIE.

EMPIRE (em'pier) n. Any of a family of military simulations derived
   from a game written by Peter Langston many years ago. There are 5
   or 6 multi-player variants of varying degrees of sophistication,
   and one single-player version implemented for both UNIX and VMS
   which is even available as MS-DOS freeware. All are notoriously
   addictive.

EOF (ee-oh-ef) [UNIX/C] n. End Of File. 1. Refers esp. to whatever
   pseudo-character value is returned by C's sequential input
   functions (and their equivalents in other environments) when
   the logical end of file has been reached (this was 0 under V6
   UNIX, is -1 under V7 and all subsequent versions and all non-UNIX
   C library implementations). 2. Used by extension in non-computer
   contexts when a human is doing something that can be modelled as
   a sequential read and can't go further. "Yeah, I looked for a list
   of 360 mnemonics to post as a joke, but I hit EOF pretty fast,
   all the library had was a JCL manual."

EPOCH, THE (ee'p@k, dh@) [UNIX] n. Syn. for ERA.

EPSILON (ep'si-lahn) [from standard mathematical notation for a small
   quantity] 1.  n. A small quantity of anything.  "The cost is
   epsilon."  2. adj.  Very small, negligible; less than marginal.
   "We can get this feature for epsilon cost."  3. WITHIN EPSILON OF:
   Close enough to be indistinguishable for all practical purposes.

ERA, THE (ee'ra, dh@) [from UNIX] n. The time and date corresponding
   to zero in an operating system's clock and timestamp values. Under
   most UNIX versions, midnight of January 1st 1970. System time is
   measured in TICKS past the era. Syn. with EPOCH. See TICKS, WALL
   TIME.

ERIS (e'r@s) pn. The Greco-Roman goddess of Chaos, Discord, Confusion
   and Things You Know Not Of; aka Discordia. Not a very friendly
   deity in the Classical original, she was re-invented as a more
   benign personification of creative anarchy starting in 1959 by the
   adherents of DISCORDIANISM and has since been a semi-serious
   subject of veneration in several `fringe' cultures including
   hackerdom.  See DISCORDIANISM, CHURCH OF THE SUB-GENIUS.

ESSENTIALS (e-sen'tiuhls) n. Things necessary to maintain a productive
   and secure hacking environment. "A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, a
   20-megahertz 80386 box with 8 meg of core and a 300-megabyte disk
   supporting full UNIX with source and X windows and EMACS and UUCP
   to a friendly Internet site, and thou."

EXCL (eks'kl) n. Abbreviation for "exclamation point".  See BANG,
   SHRIEK, WOW.

EXE (ex'ee) An executable binary file. Some operating systems use the
   extension .EXE to mark such files. This usage is also found among
   UNIX programmers even though UNIX executables don't have any
   required extension.

EXEC n. 1. [UNIX] Synonym for CHAIN, derives from the exec(2) call. 2.
   obs. The command interpreter for an OS (see SHELL); term esp. used
   on mainframes, and prob. derived from UNIVAC's archaic EXEC 2 and
   EXEC 8 operating systems.

			= F =

FALL OVER (fol o'vr) [IBM] v. Yet another synonym for CRASH or
   LOSE. `Fall over hard' equates to CRASH AND BURN.

FANDANGO ON CORE (fan-dang'go on kor) [UNIX/C hackers, from the
   Mexican dance] n. In C, a wild pointer that runs out of bounds
   causing a CORE DUMP, or corrupts the malloc(3) ARENA in such a way
   as to cause mysterious failures later on, is sometimes said to have
   `done a fandango on core'. On low-end personal machines without an
   MMU this can corrupt the OS itself, causing massive lossage. Other
   third-world dances such as the rhumba, cha-cha or watusi may be
   substituted. See ALIASING SCREW, PRECEDENCE SCREW, SMASH THE STACK,
   MEMORY LEAK, OVERRUN SCREW.

FASCISTIC (fa-shis'tik) adj. Said of a computer system with excessive
   or annoying security barriers, usage limits or access policies. The
   implication is that said policies are preventing hackers from
   getting interesting work done.

FAULTY (fawl'tee) adj. Same denotation as "bagbiting", "bletcherous",
   "losing", q.v., but the connotation is much milder.

FEAR AND LOATHING (feer @nd loh'thing) [from Hunter Thompson] n. State
   inspired by the prospect of dealing with certain REAL WORLD systems
   and standards which are totally BRAIN DAMAGED but ubiquitous --
   Intel 8086s, or COBOL, or any IBM machine except the Rios. "Ack.
   They want PCs to be able to talk to the AI machine. Fear and
   loathing time!" See also IBM.

FEATURE (fee'chr) n. 1. A surprising property of a program.
   Occasionally documented.  To call a property a feature sometimes
   means the author of the program did not consider the particular
   case, and the program makes an unexpected, although not strictly
   speaking an incorrect response.  See BUG.  "That's not a bug,
   that's a feature!"  A bug can be changed to a feature by
   documenting it.  2. A well-known and beloved property; a facility.
   Sometimes features are planned, but are called crocks by others.

FEATURECTOMY (fee`ch@r-ek'to-mee) n. The act of removing a feature
   from a program.  Featurectomies generally come in two varieties,
   the RIGHTEOUS and the RELUCTANT. Righteous featurectomies are
   performed because the remover believes the program would be more
   elegant without the feature, or there is already an equivalent and
   "better" way to achieve the same end.  (This is not quite the same
   thing as removing a MISFEATURE.)  Reluctant featurectomies are
   performed to satisfy some external constraint such as code size or
   execution speed.

FEEP (feep) 1. n. The soft bell of a display terminal (except for a
   VT-52!); a beep.  2. v. To cause the display to make a feep sound.
   TTY's do not have feeps.  Alternate forms: BEEP, BLEEP, or just
   about anything suitably onomatopoeic.  The term BREEDLE was
   sometimes heard at SAIL, where the terminal bleepers are not
   particularly "soft" (they sound more like the musical equivalent of
   sticking out one's tongue).  The "feeper" on a VT-52 has been
   compared to the sound of a '52 Chevy stripping its gears. See also
   DING.

FEEPING CREATURITIS (fee'ping kree`ch@r-ie'tis) n. Deliberate
   spoonerization of CREEPING FEATURITIS, meant to imply that the
   system or program in question has become a misshapen creature of
   hacks.

FENCEPOST ERROR (fens'post eir'@r) n. The discrete equivalent of a
   boundary condition.  Often exhibited in programs by iterative
   loops.  From the following problem: "If you build a fence 100 feet
   long with posts ten feet apart, how many posts do you need?"
   (Either 9 or 11 is a better answer than the obvious 10.)

FIELD CIRCUS (feeld ser'k@s) n.  The field service organization of any
   hardware manufacturer, but especially DEC.  There is an entire
   genre of jokes about DEC field circus engineers:

	Q: How can you recognize a DEC field circus engineer with a flat
	    tire?
	A: He's swapping tires to see which one is flat.

	Q: How can you recognize a DEC field circus engineer who is out
	    of gas?
	A: He's swapping tires to see which one is flat.

FILK (filk) [from SF fandom, where a typo for "folk" was adopted as
   a new word] n.,v. A "filk" is a popular or folk song with lyrics
   revised or completely new lyrics, intended for humorous effect when
   read and/or to be sung late at night at SF conventions. There is a
   flourishing subgenre of these called "computer filks", written by
   hackers and often containing technical humor of quite sophisticated
   nature.

FILM AT 11 (film at @-lev'n) [MIT, in imitation of TV network news
   squibs.], interj.  Used in conversation to announce ordinary
   events, with a sarcastic implication that these events are
   earth-shattering. This is hard to describe.  Examples: "ITS
   crashes; film at 11." "Bug found in scheduler; film at 11."

FILTER (fil'tr) [orig. UNIX, now also in MS-DOS] n. A program which
   processes an input text stream into an output text stream in some
   well-defined way, and does no I/O to anywhere else except possibly
   on error conditions; one designed to be used as a stage in a
   PIPELINE, (q.v.).

FINE (fien) [WPI] adj. Good, but not good enough to be CUSPY.  [The
   word FINE is used elsewhere, of course, but without the implicit
   comparison to the higher level implied by CUSPY.]

FINGER (fing'gr) [BSD UNIX] 1. n. A program that displays a
   particular user or all users logged on the system or a remote
   system.  Typically shows full name, last login time, idle time,
   terminal line and terminal location. May also display a "plan file"
   left by the user. 2. v. To apply finger to a username. 3. v. By
   extension, to check a human's current state by any means. "Foodp?"
   "T!" "OK, finger Lisa and see if she's idle".

FIREBOTTLE (fier'bo`tl) n. A large, primitive, power-hungry active
   electrical device, similar to an FET constructed out of glass,
   metal, and vacuum.  Characterized by high cost, low density, low
   reliability, high-temperature operation, and high power
   dissipation.  Sometimes mistakenly called a "tube" in the U.S. or a
   "valve" in England.

FIREWALL MACHINE (fier'wal m:-sheen') n. A dedicated gateway machine
   with special security precautions on it, used to service outside
   network/mail/news connections and/or accept remote logins for (read
   only) shared-file-system access via FTP. The idea is to protect
   cluster of more loosely administered machines `hidden' behind it
   from crackers. The typically `firewall' is an inexpensive
   micro-based UNIX box kept clean of critical data, with a bunch of
   modems and public network ports on it but just one carefully
   watched connection back to the rest of the cluster. The special
   precautions may include threat monitoring, callback, and even a
   complete IRON BOX keyable to particular incoming IDs or activity
   patterns. Syn. FLYTRAP, VENUS FLYTRAP.

FIRMWARE (ferm'weir) n. Software installed into a computer-based piece
   of equipment on ROM. So-called because it's harder to change than
   software but easier than hardware.

FLAG DAY (flag day) [from a bit of Multics history involving a change
   in the ASCII character set originally scheduled for June 14, 1966]
   n. A software change which is neither forward nor backward
   compatible, and which is costly to make and costly to revert.  "Can
   we install that without causing a flag day for all users?"

FLAKEY (flay'kee) adj. Subject to frequent lossages.  See LOSSAGE.

FLAMAGE (flaym'@j) n. High-noise, low-signal postings to USENET or
   other electronic fora. Often in the phrase "the usual flamage".

FLAME (flaym) v. To speak incessantly and/or rabidly on some
   relatively uninteresting subject or with a patently ridiculous
   attitude.  FLAME ON: v. To continue to flame.  See RAVE, BURBLE.

FLAME WAR (flaym wor) n. Acrimonious dispute, especially when
   conducted on a public electronic forum such as USENET.

FLAMER (flay'mr) v. One who habitually flames others. Said of
   obnoxious USENET personalities.

FLAP (flap) v. To unload a DECtape (so it goes flap, flap, flap...).
   Old hackers at MIT tell of the days when the disk was device 0 and
   microtapes were 1, 2,... and attempting to flap device 0 would
   instead start a motor banging inside a cabinet near the disk!

FLAVOR (flay'vr) n. 1. Variety, type, kind.  "DDT commands come in
   two flavors."  2. The attribute of causing something to be
   FLAVORFUL.  "This convention yields additional flavor by allowing
   one to..."  See VANILLA.

FLAVORFUL (flay'vr-fl) adj. Aesthetically pleasing.  See RANDOM and
   LOSING for antonyms.  See also the entries for TASTE and ELEGANCE.

FLIPPY (flip'ee) n. A single-side floppy disk altered for double-sided
   use by addition of a second write-notch, so called because it must
   be flipped over for the second side to be accessible. No longer
   common.

FLUSH (fluhsh) v. 1. To delete something, usually superfluous.  "All
   that nonsense has been flushed."  Standard ITS terminology for
   aborting an output operation.  2. To leave at the end of a day's
   work (as opposed to leaving for a meal).  "I'm going to flush now."
   "Time to flush."  3. To exclude someone from an activity. 4.
   [UNIX/C] To force buffered I/O to disk, as with an fflush(3) call.
   UNIX hackers find the ITS usage confusing and vice versa.

FLYTRAP (flie'trap) n. See FIREWALL.

FOO (foo) 1. [from Yiddish "feh" or the Anglo-Saxon "fooey!"] interj.
   Term of disgust.  2. [from FUBAR (Fucked Up Beyond All
   Recognition), from WWII, often seen as FOOBAR] Name used for
   temporary programs, or samples of three-letter names.  Other
   similar words are BAR, BAZ (Stanford corruption of BAR), and rarely
   RAG.  These have been used in Pogo as well.  3. Used very generally
   as a sample name for absolutely anything.  The old `Smokey Stover'
   comic strips often included the word FOO, in particular on license
   plates of cars.  4. First on the standard list of metasyntactic
   variables used in syntax examples. See also: BAR, BAZ, QUX, QUUX,
   QUUUX, CORGE, GRAULT, GARPLY, WALDO, FRED, PLUGH, XYZZY.  MOBY FOO:
   See MOBY.  [It is possible that hacker usage of FOO actually
   springs from the title "FOO, Lampoons and Parody" of a comic book
   first issued in September 1958; the byline read "C. Crumb" but my
   source believes this was a sort-of pseudonym for noted weird-comix
   artist Robert Crumb.  The title FOO was featured in large letters
   on the front cover -- ESR]

FOOL (fool) n. As used by hackers, specifically describes a person who
   habitually reasons from obviously or demonstrably incorrect
   premises and cannot be persuaded to do otherwise by evidence; it is
   not generally used in its other senses, i.e. to describe a person
   with a native incapacity to reason correctly, or a clown.  Indeed,
   in hackish experience many fools are capable of reasoning all too
   effectively in executing their errors. See also CRETIN, LOSER.

FOOTPRINT (fut'print) n. 1. The floor or desk area taken up by a piece
   of hardware. 2. [IBM] The audit trail (if any) left by a crashed
   program (often in plural, `footprints').

FOREGROUND (for'grownd) [UNIX] adj.v. On a time-sharing system, a
   task executing in foreground is one running at normal priority and
   able to accept input from and return output to the user; oppose
   BACKGROUND. There may be only one forground task per terminal (or
   terminal window). By extension, "to foreground" a task is to bring
   it to the top of one's PDL or STACK for immediate processing, and
   in this sense hackers often use it for non-computer tasks.

FORTUNE COOKIE (for'chn ku'kee) [UNIX] n. A random quote, item of
   trivia, joke or maxim printed to the user's tty at login time or
   (more rarely) at logout time. Items from this jargon file have
   often been used as fortune cookies.

FOSSIL (fohs'sl) n. 1. In software, a misfeature that becomes
   understandable only in historical context, as a remnant of times
   past retained so as not to break compatibility. Example: the
   retention of octal as default base for string escapes in C in spite
   of the better match of hexadecimal to modern byte-addressible
   architectures. See DUSTY DECKS. 2. More restrictively, a feature
   with past but no present utility. Example: the force-all-caps
   (IUCLC/OLCUC) bits in the UNIX tty driver, designed for use with
   monocase terminals.

FRED (fred) n. The personal name most frequently used as a
   metasyntactic variable (see FOO). The reasons for this are obscure.

FREEWARE (free'weir) n. Free software, often written by enthusiasts
   and usually distributed by electronic mail, local bulletin boards,
   USENET, or other electronic media. See SHAREWARE.

FRIED (fried) adj. 1. Non-working due to hardware failure; burnt out.
   2. Of people, exhausted.  Said particularly of those who continue
   to work in such a state.  Often used as an explanation or excuse.
   "Yeah, I know that fix destroyed the file system, but I was fried
   when I put it in."

FROB (frob) 1. n. [MIT] The official Tech Model Railroad Club
   definition is "FROB = protruding arm or trunnion", and by
   metaphoric extension any somewhat small thing.  See FROBNITZ.  2.
   v. Abbreviated form of FROBNICATE.

FROBNICATE (frob'ni-kayt) v. To manipulate or adjust, to tweak.
   Derived from FROBNITZ (q.v.).  Usually abbreviated to FROB.  Thus
   one has the saying "to frob a frob".  See TWEAK and TWIDDLE.
   Usage: FROB, TWIDDLE, and TWEAK sometimes connote points along a
   continuum.  FROB connotes aimless manipulation; TWIDDLE connotes
   gross manipulation, often a coarse search for a proper setting;
   TWEAK connotes fine-tuning.  If someone is turning a knob on an
   oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it he is probably
   tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the screen he
   is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because turning
   a knob is fun, he's frobbing it.

FROBNITZ (frob'nits), pl. FROBNITZEM (frob'nitsm) n. An unspecified
   physical object, a widget.  Also refers to electronic black boxes.
   This rare form is usually abbreviated to FROTZ, or more commonly to
   FROB.  Also used are FROBNULE and FROBULE.  Starting perhaps in
   1979, FROBOZZ (fruh-bahz') has also become very popular.  These can
   also be applied to nonphysical objects, such as data structures.

FROG alt. PHROG (frog) 1. interj. Term of disgust (we seem to have a
   lot of them).  2. Used as a name for just about anything.  See FOO.
   3. n. Of things, a crock.  Of people, somewhere inbetween a turkey
   and a toad.  4. FROGGY: adj. Similar to BAGBITING (q.v.), but
   milder.  "This froggy program is taking forever to run!"

FROTZ (frotz) 1. n. See FROBNITZ.  2. MUMBLE FROTZ: An interjection
   of very mild disgust.

FRY (frie) v. 1. To fail.  Said especially of smoke-producing hardware
   failures.  2. More generally, to become non-working.  Usage: never
   said of software, only of hardware and humans.  See FRIED, MAGIC
   SMOKE.

FTP (ef-tee-pee, NOT "fittip") 1. n. The File Transfer Protocol for
   transmitting files between systems on the ARPAnet.  2.  v. To
   transfer a file using the File Transfer Program.  "Lemme get this
   copy of Wuthering Heights FTP'd from uunet."

FUD WARS (fud worz) n. [from `Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt'] Political
   posturing engaged in by hardware and software vendors ostensibly
   committed to standardization but actually willing to fragment the
   market to protect their own share. The OSF vs. UNIX International
   conflict, for example.

FUDGE (fuhj) 1. v. To perform in an incomplete but marginally
   acceptable way, particularly with respect to the writing of a
   program.  "I didn't feel like going through that pain and
   suffering, so I fudged it."  2. n. The resulting code.

FUDGE FACTOR (fuhj faktr) n. A value or parameter that is varied in an
   ad hoc way to produce the desired result.  The terms "tolerance"
   and "slop" are also used, though these usually indicate a one-sided
   leeway, such as a buffer which is made larger than necessary
   because one isn't sure exactly how large it needs to be, and it is
   better to waste a little space than to lose completely for not
   having enough.  A fudge factor, on the other hand, can often be
   tweaked in more than one direction.  An example might be the
   coefficients of an equation, where the coefficients are varied in
   an attempt to make the equation fit certain criteria.

FUEL UP (fyool uhp) v. To eat or drink hurriedly in order to get back
   to hacking.  "Food-p?" "Yeah, let's fuel up." "Time for a
   GREAT-WALL!". See also ORIENTAL FOOD.

FUGGLY (fuhg'lee) adj. Emphatic form of FUNKY; funky + ugly. Unusually
   for hacker slang, this may actually derive from black street-jive.
   To say it properly, the first syllable should be growled rather
   than spoken. Usage: humorous. "Man, the ASCII-to-EBCDIC code in
   that printer driver is *fuggly*." See also WONKY.

FUNKY (fuhn'kee) adj. Said of something which functions, but in a
   slightly strange, klugey way.  It does the job and would be
   difficult to change, so its obvious non-optimality is left alone.
   Often used to describe interfaces. The more bugs something has that
   nobody has bothered to fix because workarounds are easier, the
   funkier it is.  TECO and UUCP are funky.  The Intel i860's
   exception handling is extraordinarily funky.  Most standards
   acquire funkiness as they age.  "The new mailer is installed, but
   is still somewhat funky; if it bounces your mail for no reason, try
   resubmitting it." "This UART is pretty funky.  The data ready line
   is active-high in interrupt mode, and active-low in DMA mode." See
   FUGGLY.

FUZZ (fuhz) n. In floating-point arithmetic, the maximum difference
   allowed between two quantities for them to compare equal. Has to be
   set properly relative to the FPU's precision limits.

FUZZBALL (fuhz'bawl) [TCP/IP hackers] n. A DEC LSI-11 running a
   particular suite of homebrewed software by Dave Mills and assorted
   co-conspirators, used in the early 80's for Internet protocol
   testbedding and experimentation. These were used as NSFnet backbone
   sites in its early 56KB-line days; a few of these are still active
   on the Internet as of early 1990, doing odd jobs such as network
   time service.

			= G =

GABRIEL (gay'bree-@l) [for Dick Gabriel, SAIL volleyball fanatic] n.
   An unnecessary (in the opinion of the opponent) stalling tactic,
   e.g., tying one's shoelaces or hair repeatedly, asking the time,
   etc.  Also used to refer to the perpetrator of such tactics.  Also,
   "pulling a Gabriel", "Gabriel mode".

GAG (gag) vi. Equivalent to CHOKE, but connotes more disgust. "Hey,
   this is Fortran code.  No wonder the C compiler gagged." See also
   BARF.

GARBAGE COLLECT (gar'b@j k@-lekt') v., GARBAGE COLLECTION n. See GC.

GARPLY (gar'plee) n. [Stanford] Another meta-word popular among SAIL
   hackers.

GAS (gas) [as in "gas chamber"] interj. 1. A term of disgust and
   hatred, implying that gas should be dispensed in generous
   quantities, thereby exterminating the source of irritation.  "Some
   loser just reloaded the system for no reason!  Gas!"  2. A term
   suggesting that someone or something ought to be flushed out of
   mercy.  "The system's wedging every few minutes.  Gas!"  3. v.
   FLUSH (q.v.).  "You should gas that old crufty software."  4.
   GASEOUS adj.  Deserving of being gassed.  Usage: primarily used by
   Geoff Goodfellow at SRI, but spreading; became particularly popular
   after the Moscone/Milk murders in San Francisco, when it was
   learned that Dan White (who supported Proposition 7) would get the
   gas chamber under 7 if convicted.

GATEWAY (gayt'way) n. 1. A computer or item of special-purpose
   hardware that links two or more normally incompatible data networks
   and does protocol translation between them. 2. On compatible or
   common-carrier networks, a piece of software that translates
   between normally incompatible data formats and addressing
   conventions.

GC (jee-see) [from LISP terminology] 1. v. To clean up and throw away
   useless things.  "I think I'll GC the top of my desk today."  2. v.
   To recycle, reclaim, or put to another use.  3. n. An instantiation
   of the GC process.

GEDANKEN (g@-dahn'kn) [from Einstein's term "gedanken-experimenten",
   such as the standard proof that E=mc^2] adj. An AI project which is
   written up in grand detail without ever being implemented to any
   great extent.  Usually perpetrated by people who aren't very good
   hackers or find programming distasteful or are just in a hurry.  A
   gedanken thesis is usually marked by an obvious lack of intuition
   about what is programmable and what is not and about what does and
   does not constitute a clear specification of a program-related
   concept such as an algorithm.

GENDER MENDER (jen'dr-men'dr) n. (also GENDER BENDER) A cable
   connector shell with either two male or two female connectors on
   it, used for mating like-sexed cables. Used esp. for RS-232C parts
   in either the original D-25 or the IBM PC's bogus D-9 format.

GENERATE (gen'@-rayt) v. To produce something according to an
   algorithm or program or set of rules, or as a (possibly unintended)
   side effect of the execution of an algorithm or program. The
   opposite of PARSE. This term retains its mechanistic connotations
   (though often humorously) when used of human behavior.

GET A REAL COMPUTER (get uh reel kuhm'pyoo-tr) imp. Typical hacker
   response to news that somebody is having trouble getting work done
   on a system that is a) single- tasking, b) has no Winchester, or c)
   has less than a megabyte of DRAM. This is as of 1990; note that the
   threshold for `real computer' rises with time, and it may well be
   (for example) that machines with character-only displays will be
   considered `unreal' in five years. See BITTY BOX and TOY.

GIGO (gie'goh) [acronym] garbage in, garbage out.  Usually said in
   response to lusers who complain that a program didn't complain
   about faulty data. Also commonly used to describe failures in human
   decision making due to faulty, incomplete or imprecise data.

GLARK (glark) v. To figure something out from context, taken from an
   old Scientific American "Mathematical Games" column, where the
   phrase "glark the meaning from context" was used as an example...of
   glarking something from context. "The System III manuals are pretty
   poor, but you can generally glark the meaning from context".

GLASS (glas) [IBM] n. Synonym for SILICON.

GLASS TTY (glas tee-tee-wie, glas ti-tee) n. A terminal which has a
   display screen but which, because of hardware or software
   limitations, behaves like a teletype or other printing terminal.
   An example is the ADM-3 (without cursor control).  A glass tty
   can't do neat DISPLAY HACKs, and you can't save the output either.
   See TUBE, TTY.

GLITCH (glich) [from the Yiddish "glitshen", to slide] 1. n. A sudden
   interruption in electric service, sanity, or program function.
   Sometimes recoverable.  2. v. To commit a glitch.  See GRITCH.  3.
   v. [Stanford] To scroll a display screen. 4. (obs.) Same as MAGIC
   COOKIE, sense #2.

GLORK (glork) 1. interj. Term of mild surprise, usually tinged with
   outrage, as when one attempts to save the results of two hours of
   editing and finds that the system has just crashed.  2. Used as a
   name for just about anything.  See FOO.  3. v. Similar to GLITCH
   (q.v.), but usually used reflexively.  "My program just glorked
   itself."

GNARLY (nar'lee) adj. Both OBSCURE and HAIRY in the sense of complex.
   "Yeech -- the tuned assembler implementation of BitBlt is really
   gnarly!"  From a similar but less specific usage in surfer slang.

GNU (gnoo, NOT "noo") 1. [acronym for "GNU's Not UNIX!"] A
   UNIX-workalike development effort of the Free Software Foundation
   headed by Richard Stallman (aka RMS). GNU EMACS and the GNU C
   compiler, two tools designed for this project, have become very
   popular in hackerdom.  See EMACS, COPYLEFT.  2. Noted UNIX hacker
   John Gilmore (gnu@hoptoad.com), ironically enough one of the
   best-known and most vocal opponents of the "information should
   not be property" philosophy behind GNU. See RMS.

GO FLATLINE (flat'lien) [from cyberpunk SF, refers to flattening of
   EEG traces upon brain-death] v., also adjectival FLATLINED. 1. To
   die, terminate, or fail, esp. irreversibly. In hacker parlance this
   is used of machines only, human death being considered somewhat too
   serious a matter to employ jargon-jokes about. 2. To go completely
   quiescent; said of machines undergoing controlled shutdown. "You
   can suffer file damage if you shut down UNIX but power off before
   the system has gone flatline." 3. A particular failure mode of
   video tubes in which vertical scan is lost, so all one sees is a
   bright horizontal line bisecting the screen.

GOBBLE (go'bl) v. To consume or to obtain.  GOBBLE UP tends to imply
   "consume", while GOBBLE DOWN tends to imply "obtain".  "The output
   spy gobbles characters out of a TTY output buffer."  "I guess I'll
   gobble down a copy of the documentation tomorrow."  See SNARF.

GONK (gonk) v.,n. To prevaricate or to embellish the truth beyond any
   reasonable recognitions.  In German the term is "GONKEN", in
   spanish the verb becomes "GONKAR."  "You're gonking me. That story
   you just told me is a bunch of gonk". In German, "Du Gonkst mir".
   (You're pulling my leg) See also GONKULATOR.

GONZO (gon'zo) [from Hunter S. Thompson] adj. Overwhelming; very
   large, esp.  used of collections of source code, source files or
   individual functions.  Has some of the connotations of MOBY and
   HAIRY, q.v.

GONKULATOR (gon'kyoo-lay-tr) [from the old "Hogan's Heroes" TV
   series] n. A pretentious piece of equipment that actually serves no
   useful purpose.  Usually used to describe one's least favorite
   piece of computer hardware. See GONK.

GOOD THING (gud thing) adj. Always capitalized. 1. Self-evidently
   wonderful to anyone in a position to notice: "The Trailblazer's
   19.2Kbaud PEP mode with on-the-fly Lempel-Ziv compression is a Good
   Thing for sites relaying netnews." 2. Something which can't
   possibly have any ill side effects and may save considerable grief
   later: "Removing the self-modifying code from that shared library
   would be a Good Thing." 3. When said of software tools or
   libraries, as in "YACC is a Good Thing", specifically connotes that
   the thing has drastically reduced a programmer's work load. Oppose
   BAD THING.

GORP (gorp) [CMU, perhaps from a brand of dried hiker's food?]
   Another metasyntactic variable, like FOO and BAR.

GORILLA ARM (gor-il'uh arm) n. The side-effect that destroyed
   touch-screens as a mainstream input technology despite a promising
   start in the early eighties. It seems the designers of all those
   SPIFFY touch-menu systems failed to notice that humans aren't
   designed to hold their arms in front of their faces making small
   motions. After more than a very few selects the arm begins to feel
   sore, cramped, and oversized, hence "gorilla arm". This is now
   considered a classic Horrible Example and cautionary tale to
   human-factors designers; "remember the gorilla arm" is shorthand
   for "how's this gonna fly in *real* use?"

GREAT RENAMING (grayt ree-naym'ing) n. The FLAG DAY on which all of
   the groups on the USENET had their names changed from the net.*
   format to the current 7 hierarchies scheme.

GREAT-WALL (grayt-wahl) [from SF fandom] v.,n. a mass expedition to an
   oriental restaurant. See ORIENTAL FOOD, CHINESE RAVS, STIR-FRIED
   RANDOM.

GREEN LIGHTNING (green liet'ning) [IBM] n. Apparently random flashing
   streaks on the face of 3278-9 terminals while a programmable symbol
   set is being loaded. This hardware bug was left deliberately
   unfixed, as some bright spark suggested that this would let the
   user know that `something is happening'. It certainly does. 2.
   [generalization of #1 proposed by ESR] Any bug perverted into an
   alleged feature by adroit rationalization or marketing. E.g.
   "Motorola calls the CISC cruft in the 8800 architecture
   `compatibility logic', but I call it green lightning".

GRAULT (grawlt) n. Yet another meta-syntactic variable, invented by
   Mike Galleher and propagated by the Gosmacs documentation. See
   CORGE.

GRAY GOO (gray goo) n. A hypothetical substance composed of billions
   of sub-micron-sized Von Neumann machines (self-replicating robots)
   programmed to make copies of themselves out of whatever is
   available. The image that goes with the term is one of the entire
   biosphere of Earth being eventually converted to robot goo. This is
   most naive and easiest to demolish of the NANOTECHNOLOGY (q.v.)
   disaster scenarios.

GREP (grep) [from the UNIX grep tool] v. To rapidly scan a file or
   file set looking for a particular string or pattern. By extension,
   to look for something by pattern. "Grep the bulletin board for the
   system backup schedule, would you?"

GRIND (griend) v. 1. [MIT and Berkeley] To format code, especially
   LISP code, by indenting lines so that it looks pretty.  Hence,
   PRETTY PRINT, the generic term for such operations.  2. [UNIX] To
   generate the formatted version of a document from the nroff, troff,
   TEX or Scribe source. 3. To run seemingly interminably, performing
   some tedious and inherently useless task. Similar to CRUNCH,
   GROVEL.

GRIND CRANK (griend crank) n. A mythical accessory to a terminal.  A
   crank on the side of a monitor, which when operated makes a zizzing
   noise and causes the computer to run faster.  Usually one does not
   refer to a grind crank out loud, but merely makes the appropriate
   gesture and noise. See GRIND, CHUNGA CHUNGA CHUNGA and WUGGA WUGGA.

GRITCH (grich) 1. n. A complaint (often caused by a GLITCH (q.v.)).
   2. v. To complain.  Often verb-doubled: "Gritch gritch".  3.
   Glitch.

GROK (grok) [from the novel "Stranger in a Strange Land", by Robert
   Heinlein, where it is a Martian verb meaning literally "to drink"
   and metaphorically "to be one with"] v. To understand, usually in a
   global sense. Connotes intimate and exhaustive knowledge.

GRONK (gronk) [popularized by the cartoon strip "B.C." by Johnny
   Hart, but the word apparently predates that] v. 1. To clear the
   state of a wedged device and restart it.  More severe than "to
   frob" (q.v.).  2. To break.  "The teletype scanner was gronked, so
   we took the system down."  3. GRONKED: adj. Of people, the
   condition of feeling very tired or sick.  4. GRONK OUT: v. To cease
   functioning.  Of people, to go home and go to sleep.  "I guess I'll
   gronk out now; see you all tomorrow."

GROVEL (gruh'vl) v. To work interminably and without apparent
   progress.  Often used with "over".  "The compiler grovelled over my
   code."  Compare GRIND and CRUNCH.  Emphatic form: GROVEL OBSCENELY.

GRUNGY (gruhn'jee) adj. Incredibly dirty or grubby.  Anything which
   has been washed within the last year is not really grungy.  Also
   used metaphorically; hence some programs (especially crocks) can be
   described as grungy. Now (1990) also common in mainstream slang.

GUBBISH (guh'bish) [a portmanteau of "garbage" and "rubbish"?] n.
   Garbage; crap; nonsense.  "What is all this gubbish?"

GUILTWARE (gilt'weir) n. FREEWARE decorated with a message telling one
   how long and hard the author worked on this program and intimating
   that one is a no-good shit if one does not immediately send the
   poor suffering martyr gobs of money.

GUMBY (guhm'bee) [from the claymation character] n. An act of minor
   but conspicuous stupidity, often in GUMBY MANEUVER or PULL A GUMBY.

GUN (guhn) [from the GUN command on ITS] v. To forcibly terminate a
   program or job (computer, not career).  "Some idiot left a
   background process running soaking up half the cycles, so I gunned
   it." Compare CAN.

GURFLE (ger'fl) interj. An expression of shocked disbelief. "He said
   we have to recode this thing in FORTRAN by next week. Gurfle!"

GURU (gur'oo) n. A UNIX expert. Implies not only WIZARD skill but a
   history of being a knowledge resource for others. Less often, used
   (with a qualifier) for other experts on other systems, as in "VMS
   guru".


			= H =

H INFIX (aych in-fix) [from SF fandom] A method of "marking" common
   words in the linguist's sense, i.e. calling attention to the fact
   that they are being used in a nonstandard, ironic or humorous way.
   Orig. in the fannish catchphrase "Bheer is the One True Ghod" from
   decades ago.  H-infix marking of "Ghod" and other words spread into
   the Sixties counterculture via underground comix, and into early
   hackerdom either from the counterculture or SF fandom (all three
   overlapped heavily at the time). More recently, the h infix has
   become an expected feature of benchark names, i.e. Whetstone,
   Dhrystone, Rhealstone, etc; this is prob. patterning on the
   original Whetstone name but influenced by the
   fannish/counterculture H infix.

HA HA ONLY SERIOUS (ha ha ohn'lee see'ree-us) [from SF fandom] A
   phrase that aptly captures the flavor of much hacker discourse
   (sometimes seen abbreviated as HHOS). Applied especially to
   parodies, absurdities and ironic jokes that are both intended and
   perceived to contain a possibly disquieting amount of truth, or
   truths which are constructed on in-joke and self-parody. The jargon
   file contains many examples of ha-ha-only-serious in both form and
   content. Indeed, the entirety of hacker culture is often perceived
   as ha-ha-only-serious by hackers themselves; to take it either too
   lightly or too seriously marks a person as an outsider or one in
   LARVAL STAGE. For further enlightenment on this subject, consult
   any Zen master. See also HUMOR, HACKER.

HACK (hack) n. 1. Originally a quick job that produces what is needed,
   but not well.  2. The result of that job.  3. NEAT HACK: A clever
   technique.  Also, a brilliant practical joke, where neatness is
   correlated with cleverness, harmlessness, and surprise value.
   Example: the Caltech Rose Bowl card display switch circa 1961.  4.
   REAL HACK: A crock (occasionally affectionate).  v. 5. With
   "together", to throw something together so it will work.  6. To
   bear emotionally or physically.  "I can't hack this heat!" 7.  To
   work on something (typically a program).  In specific sense: "What
   are you doing?"  "I'm hacking TECO."  In general sense: "What do
   you do around here?"  "I hack TECO."  (The former is
   time-immediate, the latter time-extended.)  More generally, "I hack
   x" is roughly equivalent to "x is my bag".  "I hack solid-state
   physics."  8. To pull a prank on.  See definition 3 and HACKER (def
   #6).  9. v.i. To waste time (as opposed to TOOL).  "Watcha up to?"
   "Oh, just hacking."  10. HACK UP (ON): To hack, but generally
   implies that the result is meanings 1-2.  11. HACK VALUE: Term used
   as the reason or motivation for expending effort toward a seemingly
   useless goal, the point being that the accomplished goal is a hack.
   For example, MacLISP has features for reading and printing roman
   numerals, which was installed purely for hack value. 12. [UNIX] A
   dungeon game similar to ROGUE (q.v.) but more elaborate,
   distributed in C source over USENET and very popular at UNIX sites
   and on PC-class machines. Recent versions are called `nethack'.
   HAPPY HACKING: A farewell.  HOW'S HACKING?: A friendly greeting
   among hackers.  HACK HACK: A somewhat pointless but friendly
   comment, often used as a temporary farewell.

HACKER (hak'r) [originally, someone who makes furniture with an axe]
   n. 1. A person who enjoys learning the details of programming
   systems and how to stretch their capabilities, as opposed to most
   users who prefer to learn only the minimum necessary.  2. One who
   programs enthusiastically, or who enjoys programming rather than
   just theorizing about programming.  3. A person capable of
   appreciating HACK VALUE (q.v.).  4. A person who is good at
   programming quickly.  Not everything a hacker produces is a hack.
   5. An expert at a particular program, or one who frequently does
   work using it or on it; example: "A UNIX hacker".  (Definitions 1
   to 5 are correlated, and people who fit them congregate.)  6.
   (deprecated) A malicious or inquisitive meddler who tries to
   discover information by poking around.  Hence "password hacker",
   "network hacker". See CRACKER.

HACK MODE (hak mohd) n. 1. What one is in when hacking, of course. 2.
   More specifically, a Zen-like state of total focus on The Problem
   which may be achieved when one is hacking. Ability to enter such
   concentration at will correlates strongly with wizardliness; it is
   one of the most important skills learned during LARVAL STAGE.
   Sometimes amplified as DEEP HACK MODE. Being yanked out of hack
   mode (see PRIORITY INTERRUPT) may be experienced as an almost
   physical shock, and the sensation of being in it is more than a
   little habituating. The intensity of this experience is probably by
   itself sufficient explanation for the existence of hackers, and
   explains why many resist being promoted out of positions where they
   can do code.

HACKING RUN (hak'ing ruhn) [analogy with `bombing run' or `speed run']
   n. A hack session extended long outside `normal' working times,
   especially one longer than 12 hours. May cause you to CHANGE PHASE
   THE HARD WAY (see PHASE).

HACKISH (hak'ish) adj. (also HACKISHNESS n.) 1. Being or involving a
   hack. 2. Of or pertaining to hackers or the hacker subculture.
   See also TRUE-HACKER.

HAIR (heir) n. The complications which make something hairy.
   "Decoding TECO commands requires a certain amount of hair."  Often
   seen in the phrase INFINITE HAIR, which connotes extreme
   complexity. Also in HAIRIFEROUS (tending to promote hair growth):
   "GNU elisp encourages lusers to write complex editing modes."
   "Yeah, it's pretty hairiferous all right."

HAIRY (heir'ee) adj. 1. Overly complicated.  "DWIM is incredibly
   hairy."  2.  Incomprehensible.  "DWIM is incredibly hairy."  3.  Of
   people, high-powered, authoritative, rare, expert, and/or
   incomprehensible.  Hard to explain except in context: "He knows
   this hairy lawyer who says there's nothing to worry about."

HAKMEM (hak'mem) n. MIT AI Memo 239 (February 1972).  A legendary
   collection of neat mathematical and programming hacks contributed
   by many people at MIT and elsewhere.

HAND-HACKING (hand hak'ing) n. The practice of translating HOT SPOTS
   from an HLL into custom hand-optimized assembler, as opposed to
   trying to coerce the compiler into generating better code. Both the
   term and the practice are becoming uncommon. See TUNE, BUM.

HANDWAVE (hand'wayv) 1. v. To gloss over a complex point; to distract
   a listener; to support a (possibly actually valid) point with
   blatantly faulty logic.  2. n. The act of handwaving.  "Boy, what a
   handwave!"  The use of this word is often accompanied by gestures:
   both hands up, palms forward, swinging the hands in a vertical
   plane pivoting at the elbows and/or shoulders (depending on the
   magnitude of the handwave); alternatively, holding the forearms
   still while rotating the hands at the wrist to make them flutter.
   In context, the gestures alone can suffice as a remark.

HANLON'S RAZOR (han'lnz ray'zr) n. A "murphyism" parallel to Occam's
   Razor that reads "Never attribute to malice that which can be
   adequately explained by stupidity". Quoted here because it seems to
   be a particular favorite of hackers, often showing up in FORTUNE
   COOKIE files and the login banners of BBS systems and commercial
   networks.  This probably reflects the hacker's daily experience of
   environments created by the well-intentioned but shortsighted.

HARDWARILY (hard-weir'i-lee) adv. In a way pertaining to hardware.
   "The system is hardwarily unreliable."  The adjective "hardwary" is
   NOT used.  See SOFTWARILY.

HAS THE X NATURE (has dh@ eks nay'tyoor) [seems to derive from Zen
   Buddhist koans of the form "Does an X have the Buddha-nature?"]
   adj. Common hacker construction for `is an X', used for humorous
   emphasis. Ex: "Anyone who can't even use a program with on-screen
   help embedded in it truly has the LOSER nature!"

HASH COLLISION (hash k@-li'zhn) [from the technical usage] n. When
   used of people, signifies a confusion in associative memory or
   imagination, especially a persistent one (see THINKO). True story:
   one of us (ESR) was once on the phone with a friend about to move
   out to Berkeley. When asked what he expected Berkeley to be like,
   the friend replied "Well, I have this mental picture of naked women
   throwing Molotov cocktails, but I think that's just a collision in
   my hash tables."

HCF (aych-see-eff) n. Mnemonic for "Halt and Catch Fire", any of
   several undocumented and semi-mythical instructions with
   destructive side-effects, supposedly included for test purposes on
   several well-known architectures going as far back as the IBM 360.
   The MC68000 microprocessor was the first for which the HCF opcode
   became widely known. The 68000 HCF causes the processor to toggle a
   subset of the bus lines as rapidly as it can; in some
   configurations this can actually cause lines to burn up.

HEARTBEAT (hart'beet) n. 1. The master clock signal propagated across
   an Ethernet; by extension, the time-baseline synchronization signal
   at the physical level of any network. 2. The `natural' oscillation
   frequency of a computer's clock crystal, before frequency division
   down to the machine's CLOCK RATE.

HEISENBUG (hie'sen-buhg) [from quantum physics] n. A bug which
   disappears or alters its behavior when one attempts to probe or
   isolate it. Antonym of BOHR BUG (q.v.). In C, 9 out of 10
   heisenbugs result from either FANDANGO ON CORE phenomena (esp.
   lossage related to corruption of the malloc ARENA) or errors which
   SMASH THE STACK.

HELLO SAILOR! (he'lo say'lr) interj. Occsional West Coast equivalent
   of `Hello, world!'. See HELLO WORLD.

HELLO WALL  (he'lo wahl) See WALL.

HELLO WORLD! (he'lo werld) interj. 1. The canonical minimal test
   message in the C/UNIX universe. In folklore, the first program a C
   coder is supposed to write in a new environment is one that just
   prints "Hello, world!" to his standard output. Environments that
   generate an unreasonably large executable for this trivial test or
   which require a HAIRY compiler-linker invocation to generate it are
   considered to LOSE. 2. Greeting uttered by a hacker making an
   entrance or requesting information from anyone present. "Hello,
   world! Is the VAX back up yet?"

HIGH BIT (hie bit) n. See META BIT

HIRSUTE (heer's[y]oot) adj. Occasionally used humorously as a synonym
   for HAIRY.

HLL (aych-el-el) n. [High-Level Language (as opposed to assembler)]
   Found primarily in email and news rather than speech. Rarely, the
   variants `VHLL' and `MLL' are found. VHLL = `Very-High-Level
   Language' and is used to describe a BONDAGE-AND-DISCIPLINE
   LANGUAGE that the speaker happens to like; Prolog and Backus's FP
   are often called VHLLs. `MLL' = `Medium-Level Language' and is
   sometimes used half-jokingly to describe C, alluding to its
   `structured-assembler' image. See also LANGUAGES OF CHOICE.

HOG (hawg) n.,v. Favored term to describe programs which seem to eat
   far more than their share of a system's resources, esp. those which
   noticeably degrade general timesharing response. *Not* used of
   programs which are simply extremely large or complex or which are
   merely painfully slow themselves (see PIG, RUN LIKE A). More often
   than not encountered in qualified forms, e.g MEMORY HOG, CORE HOG,
   HOG THE PROCESSOR, HOG THE DISK.

HOOK (huk) n. An extraneous piece of software or hardware included in
   order to simplify later additions or debug options.  For instance,
   a program might execute a location that is normally a JFCL, but by
   changing the JFCL to a PUSHJ one can insert a debugging routine at
   that point.

HOME BOX (hohm boks) n. A hacker's personal machine, especially one he
   owns. "Yeah?  Well, *my* home box runs a full 4.2BSD, so there!"

HOSE (hohz) 1. v. To Make non-functional or greatly degraded in
   performance, as in "That big ray-tracing program really hoses the
   system." See HOSED. 2. n. A narrow channel through which data flows
   under pressure.  Generally denotes data paths in a system that
   represent performance bottlenecks.  3.  Cabling, especially thick
   Ethernet cable.  Sometimes "bit hose".

HOSED (hohzd) adj. Same as DOWN. Used primarily by UNIX hackers.
   Humorous: also implies a condition thought to be relatively easy to
   reverse.  Probably a back-formation from the Canadian slang `hoser'
   popularized by the Bob and Doug skits on SCTV. See HOSE.

HOT SPOTS (hot spotz) [primarily C/UNIX programmers, but spreading]
   n. In most programs, less than 10% of the code eats 90% of the
   execution time; if one were to graph instruction visits versus code
   addresses, one would typically see a few huge spikes amidst a lot
   of low-level noise. Such spikes are called hot spots and are good
   candidates for HAND-HACKING. The term is especially used of tight
   loops and recursions in the code's central algorithm, as opposed to
   (say) initial set-up costs or large but infrequent I/O operations.
   See TUNE, BUM, HAND-HACKING.

HOUSE WIZARD (hows wi'zrd) [prob. from ad-agency lingo, cf. `house
   freak'] n. A lone hacker occupying a technical-specialist, R&D or
   systems position at a commercial shop. A really effective house
   wizard can have influence out of all proportion to his/her
   ostensible rank and still not have to wear a suit. Used esp. of
   UNIX experts. The term HOUSE GURU is equivalent.

HUMONGOUS (hyoo-mohng'gus) alt. HUMUNGOUS (hyoo-muhng'gus) See HUNGUS.

HUMOR, HACKER (hyoo'm@r, hak'r) n. A distinct style of shared
   intellectual humor found among hackers, having the following marked
   characteristics:

   1) Fascination with form-vs.-content jokes, paradoxes, and humor
      having to do with confusion of metalevels (see META). One way
      to make a hacker laugh: hold an index card in front of him/her
      with "THIS IS GREEN" written on it in bold red ink, or
      vice-versa (note, however, that this is only funny the first
      time).

   2) Elaborate deadpan parodies of large intellectual constructs such
      as standards documents, language descriptions (see INTERCAL)
      and even entire scientific theories (see QUANTUM BOGODYNAMICS,
      COMPUTRON).

   3) Jokes which involve screwily precise reasoning from bizarre,
      ludicrous or just grossly counter-intuitive premises.

   4) Fascination with puns and wordplay.

   5) A fondness for apparently mindless humor with subversive
      currents of intelligence in it, for example: old Warner
      Brothers and Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons, Charlie Chaplin
      movies, the B-52s, and Monty Python's Flying Circus. Humor
      which combines this trait with elements of high camp and
      slapstick is especially favored.

   6) References to the symbol-object antinomies and associated
      ideas in Zen Buddhism and (less often) Taoism. See HAS THE X
      NATURE, DISCORDIANISM, ZEN, HA HA ONLY SERIOUS.

   See also FILK, COMPUTER; RETROCOMPUTING; and Appendix C. If you
   have an itchy feeling that all six of these traits are really
   aspects of one thing that is incredibly difficult to talk about
   exactly, you are a) correct and b) responding like a hacker. These
   traits are also recognizable (though in a less marked form)
   throughout SCIENCE-FICTION FANDOM.

HUNG (hung) [from "hung up"] adj. Equivalent to WEDGED, q.v. but more
   common at UNIX/C sites. Not used of people.

HUNGUS (hung'ghis) [perhaps related to current slang "humongous";
   which one came first (if either) is unclear] adj. Large, unwieldy,
   usually unmanageable.  "TCP is a hungus piece of code."  "This is a
   hungus set of modifications."

HYPERSPACE (hie'per-spays) n. A memory location within a virtual
   memory machine that is many, many megabytes (or gigabytes) away
   from where the program counter should be pointing. "Another core
   dump...looks like the program jumped off to hyperspace somehow."

			= I =

IBM (ie bee em) Inferior But Marketable; It's Better Manually;
   Insidious Black Magic; Incontinent Bowel Movement; and a
   near-INFINITE number of many even less complementary expansions,
   including "International Business Machines". See TLA. These
   abbreviations illustrate the considerable antipathy most hackers
   have long felt for the "industry leader" (see FEAR AND LOATHING).
   What galls hackers about most IBM machines above the PC level isn't
   so much that they're underpowered and overpriced (though that
   counts against them) but that the designs are incredibly archaic,
   crufty and ELEPHANTINE and you can't *fix* them -- source is locked
   up tight and programming tools are expensive, hard to find, and a
   bitch to use once you've found them. With the release of the
   UNIX-based RIOS family this may have begun to change -- but then,
   we thought that when the PC-RT came out, too.  In the spirit of
   universal peace and brotherhood the jargon list now includes a
   number of entries marked `IBM'; these derive from a rampantly
   unofficial jargon list circulated among IBM's own beleaguered
   hacker underground.

ICE (ies) [from William Gibson's cyberpunk SF: notionally, "Intrusion
   Countermeasure Electronics"] Security software. Also, ICEBREAKER: a
   program designed for cracking security on a system. Neither term is
   in serious use yet as of 1990, but many hackers find the metaphor
   attractive and they may be in the near future.

ILL BEHAVED (il-bee-hayvd') adj. Software which bypasses the defined
   OS interfaces to do things (like screen, keyboard and disk I/O)
   itself, often in a way that depends on the hardware of the machine
   it is running on or which is incompatible with other pieces of
   software.  In the IBM PC/MS-DOS world, where this term originated,
   there is a folk theorem to the effect that (due to gross
   inadequacies and performance penalties in the OS interface) all
   interesting applications are ill-behaved. See MESS-DOS.

IMHO [from SF fandom via USENET] Written acronym for In My Humble
   Opinion.  Example: "IMHO, mixed-case C names should be avoided, as
   mistyping someting in the wrong case can cause hard-to-detect
   errors -- and they look too Pascalish anyhow."

INCANTATION (in-kan-tay'shn) n. Any particularly arbitrary or
   obscure command that must be muttered at a system to attain a
   desired result. Not used of passwords or other explicit security
   features. Especially used of tricks that are so poorly documented
   they must be learned from a WIZARD. E.g. "This compiler normally
   locates initialized data in the data segment, but if you mutter the
   right incantation they will be forced into text space". See MUTTER.

INFINITE (in'fi-n@t) adj. Consisting of a large number of objects;
   extreme.  Used very loosely as in: "This program produces infinite
   garbage."

INFANT MORTALITY (in'f:nt mor-tal':-tee) n. It is common lore among
   hackers that the chances of sudden hardware failure drop off
   exponentially with a machine's time since power-up (that is until
   the relatively distant time at which mechanical wear in I/O devices
   and thermal-cycling stress in components has accumulated enough for
   the machine to start going senile). Up to half of all chip-and-wire
   failures happen within a new system's first few weeks; such failures
   are often referred to as "infant mortality" problems.

INTERCAL (in'tr-kal) [said by the authors to stand for "Compiler
   Language With No Pronounceable Acronym"] n. The language has been
   recently re-implemented as C-INTERCAL and is consequently enjoying
   an unprecedented level of unpopularity.

INTERNET ADDRESS (in'ter-net @-dres') n. An `absolute' network address
   of the form foo@bar.baz, where foo is a user name, bar is a site
   name, and baz is a `domain' name, possibly including periods
   itself. Contrasts with BANG PATH, q.v.; see also NETWORK. All
   Internet machines and most UUCP sites can now resolve these
   addresses, thanks to a large amount of behind-the-scenes magic and
   PD software written since 1980 or so. See also BANG PATH.

INTERRUPTS LOCKED OUT (in't@-ruptz lokt owt) When someone is ignoring
   you. In a restaurant, after several fruitless attempts to get the
   waitress's attention, a hacker might well observe that "She must
   have interrupts locked out." Variations of this abound; "to have
   one's interrupt mask bit set" is also heard.

IRON (iern) n. Hardware, especially older/larger hardware of mainframe
   class with big metal cabinets relatively low-density electronics
   (but also used of modern supercomputers). Often in the phrase BIG
   IRON.  Oppose SILICON. See also DINOSAUR.

IRON BOX (iern boks) [UNIX/Internet] n. A special environment set up
   to trap a CRACKER logging in over remote or network connections
   long enough so he can be traced. May include a specially-gimmicked
   SHELL restricting the hacker's movements in unobvious ways, and
   `bait' files designed to keep him interested and logged on. See
   also BACK DOOR.

IRONMONGER (iern'mohn-gr) [IBM] n. A hardware specialist. Derogatory.
   Compare SANDBENDER, POLYGON PUSHER.

ITS (ie-tee-ess) n. Incompatible Time-Sharing System, an influential
   but highly idiosyncratic operating system written for PDP-10s at
   MIT and long used at the MIT AI lab; much AI-hacker slang derives
   from ITS folklore. After about 1982 most actual work was shifted to
   newer machines, with the remaining ITS boxes run essentially as a
   hobby and service to the hacker community.  The shutdown of the
   lab's last ITS machine in May 1990 marked the end of an era and
   sent old-time hackers into mourning nationwide. See Appendix B.

IWBNI [acronym] It Would Be Nice If.  No pronunciation, as this is
   never spoken, only written. Compare WIBNI.

IYFEG [USENET] Abbreviation for "Insert Your Favourite Ethnic Group".
   Used as a meta-name when telling racist jokes in email to avoid
   offending anyone.

			= J =

JAGGIES (jag'eez) n. The `stairstep' effect observable when an edge
   (esp. a linear edge of slope far from 45 degrees) is rendered on a
   pixel device (as opposed to a vector display).

JIFFY (jif'ee) n. 1. Interval of CPU time, commonly 1/60 second or 1
   millisecond (see TICK).  2. Indeterminate time from a few seconds
   to forever. "I'll do it in a jiffy" means certainly not now and
   possibly never.

JOCK (jok) n. Programmer who is characterized by large and somewhat
   brute force programs.  The term is particularly well-suited for
   systems programmers.

JOE CODE (joh kohd) [said to commemmorate a notoriously bad coder
   named Joe at Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory] n. Badly written,
   possibly buggy source code.  "Perl may be a handy program, but if
   you look at the source, it's complete joe code."
	
J. RANDOM HACKER (jay rand'm hak'r) n. A mythical figure like the
   Unknown Soldier; the archetypal hacker nerd. See RANDOM.

			= K =

KAHUNA (k@-hoo'nuh) [IBM, from the Hawaiian title for a shaman] n.
   Synonym for WIZARD, GURU (q.v.). 

KEN (ken) n. A flaming user.  This noun was in use by the Software
   Support group at Symbolics because the two greatest flamers in the
   user community were both named Ken.

KILL FILE (kill fiel) [USENET] n. Some USENET readers allow users to
   set filter patterns against which news messages are compared, then
   ignored (not presented by the reader) if the match succeeds. The
   file in which these patterns are stored is called the user's kill
   file.  Thus to "add a person (or subject) to one's kill file" is to
   arrange for that person to be ignored by your newsreader in future.
   By extension, it may be used for a decision to ignore the person or
   subject in other media.

KILLER MICRO (kil'r mi'kroh) [popularized by Eugene Brooks] n. A
   microprocessor-based machine that infringes on mini, mainframe or
   supercomputer performance turf. Often heard in "No one will survive
   the attack of the killer micros!", the battle cry of the
   downsizers. Used esp. of RISC (q.v.) architectures.

KLEENE STAR (kleen star) n. See REGULAR EXPRESSIONS.

KLUGE (kloodj) alt. KLUDGE (kluhdj) [from the German "kluge", clever]
   (`kloodj' is the original pronunciation, more common in the US;
   `kluhdge' is reported more common in England).  n. 1. A Rube
   Goldberg device in hardware or software.  2. A clever programming
   trick intended to solve a particular nasty case in an efficient, if
   not clear, manner.  Often used to repair bugs.  Often verges on
   being a crock.  3. Something that works for the wrong reason.  4.
   v. To insert a kluge into a program.  "I've kluged this routine to
   get around that weird bug, but there's probably a better way."
   Also KLUGE UP.  5. KLUGE AROUND: To avoid by inserting a kluge.  6.
   [WPI] A feature which is implemented in a RUDE manner.

			= L =

LACE CARD (lays kard) n. obs. A Hollerith card with all holes punched
   (also called a WHOOPEE CARD). Some cardpunches actually jammed on
   the amount of CHAD generated by one of these.

LANGUAGE LAWYER (lan'gw@j law'yr) n. A person, usually an experienced
   or senior software engineer, who is intimately familiar with many
   or most of the numerous syntactic and semantic restrictions (both
   useful and esoteric) applicable to one or more computer programming
   languages.

LANGUAGES OF CHOICE n. C or LISP. Essentially all hackers know one of
   these and most good ones are fluent in both. Smalltalk and Prolog
   are popular in small but influential communities. Assembler used
   to be a language of choice, but is generally no longer considered
   interesting or appropriate for anything but compiler code
   generation and a few time-critical uses in systems programs.

LARVAL STAGE (lar'vl stayj) n. Describes a period of monomaniacal
   concentration on coding apparently passed through by all fledgeling
   hackers. Common symptoms include: the perpetration of more than one
   36-hour HACKING RUN in a given week, neglect of all other
   activities including usual basics like food and sex, and a chronic
   case of advanced bleary-eye. Can last from six months to two years,
   with the apparent median being around eighteen months. A few so
   afflicted never resume a more `normal' life, but the ordeal seems
   to be necessary to produce really wizardly (as opposed to merely
   competent) programmers. A less protracted and intense version of
   larval stage (typically lasting about a month) may recur when
   learning a new OS or programming language.

LASE (layz) vt. To print a given document via a laser printer. "OK,
   let's lase that sucker and see if all those graphics-macro calls
   did the right things." Compare DIABLO in Appendix B.

LERP (lerp) v.,n. Quasi-acronym for Linear Interpolation, used as as a
   verb or noun for the operation. Ex.  Bresenham's algorithm lerps
   incrementally between the two endpoints of the line.

LEXER (lek'sr) n. Common hacker shorthand for "lexical analyzer", the
   input-tokenizing stage in the parser for a language. "Some C lexers
   get confused by the old-style compound ops like =-"

LIFE (lief) n. A cellular-automata game invented by John Horton
   Conway, and first introduced publicly by Martin Gardner (Scientific
   American, October 1970). Many hackers pass through a stage of
   fascination with it.

LINE EATER, THE (lien ee'tr, dh@) [USENET] n. A bug in some
   now-obsolete versions of the netnews software used to cause the
   first lines of articles to be discarded under some circumstances.
   This bug was personified into mythical creature called "the line
   eater", and postings often included a dummy line of "line eater
   food". The practice of "sacrificing to the line eater" continued
   for some time after the bug had been nailed to the wall, and is
   still humorously referred to.

LINE STARVE (lien stahrv) [MIT] Inverse of `line feed'; a character or
   character sequence which causes a printer to back up one line
   depth.

LINK FARM (link farm) [UNIX] n. A directory tree that contains many
   links to files another, master directory tree of files.  Link farms
   save space when maintaining several nearly identical copies of the
   same source tree, e.g. when the only difference is
   architecture-dependent object files.  Example use: `Let's freeze
   the source and then rebuild the FROBOZZ-3 and FROBOZZ-4 link
   farms.' Link farms may also be used to get around restrictions on
   the number of -I arguments on older C preprocessors.

LINT (lint) [from UNIX's lint(1)] v. To examine a program closely for
   style, language usage, and portability problems, esp. if in C, esp.
   if via use of automated analysis tools, most esp. if the UNIX
   utility lint(1) is used. This term used to be restricted to use of
   lint(1) itself but (judging by references on the USENET) has become
   a shorthand for `desk-check' at some non-UNIX shops, even in some
   languages other than C.

LION FOOD (lie'@n food) [IBM] n. Middle management or HQ staff (by
   extension, administrative drones in general). From an old joke about
   two lions who, escaping from the zoo, split up to increase their
   chances but agreed to meet after two months. When they do meet, one
   is skinny and the other overweight. The thin one says "How did you
   manage? I ate a human just once and they turned out a small army to
   chase me -- guns, nets, it was terrible. Since then I've been reduced to
   eating mice, insects, even grass." The fat one replies "Well, *I* hid
   near an IBM office and ate a manager a day. And nobody even noticed!"

LISP (lisp) n. The name of AI's mother tongue, a language based on the
   ideas of 1) variable-length lists and trees as fundamental data
   types, and 2) the interpretation of code as data and vice-versa.
   Invented by John McCarthy at Stanford in the late 1950s, it is
   actually older than any other HLL still in use except FORTRAN.  The
   hands-down favorite of hackers until the early 1980s, it now shares
   the throne with C (q.v.). See LANGUAGES OF CHOICE.

LITTLE-ENDIAN (lit'l-end'y@n) adj. Describes a computer architecture
   in which, within a given 16- or 32-bit word, lower byte addresses
   have lower significance (the word is stored `little-end-first').
   The PDP-11 and VAX families of computers and a lot of
   communications and networking hardware are little-endian. See
   BIG-ENDIAN.

LIVELOCK (liev'lok) n.  A situation in which some critical stage of a
   task is unable to finish because its clients perpetually create
   more work for it to do after they've been serviced but before it
   can clear.  Differs from DEADLOCK in that the process is not
   blocked or waiting for anything, but has a virtually infinite
   amount of work to do and accomplishes nothing.

LOGIC BOMB (lo'jik bom) n. Code surreptitiously inserted in an
   application or OS which causes it to perform some destructive or
   security-compromising activity whenever specified conditions are
   met.  Compare BACK DOOR.

LOGICAL (lo'ji-kl) [from the technical term "logical device", wherein
   a physical device is referred to by an arbitrary name] adj.
   Understood to have a meaning not necessarily corresponding to
   reality.  E.g., if a person who has long held a certain post (e.g.,
   Les Earnest at SAIL) left and was replaced, the replacement would
   for a while be known as the "logical Les Earnest".  The word
   VIRTUAL is also used.  At SAIL, "logical" compass directions
   denoted a coordinate system in which "logical north" is toward San
   Francisco, "logical west" is toward the ocean, etc., even though
   logical north varies between physical (true) north near San
   Franscisco and physical west near San Jose.  (The best rule of
   thumb here is that El Camino Real by definition always runs logical
   north-and-south.)

LORD HIGH FIXER (lord hie fik'sr) [primarily British] n. The person
   in an organisation who knows the most about some aspect of a
   system. See WIZARD.

LOSE (looz) [from MIT jargon] v. 1. To fail.  A program loses when it
   encounters an exceptional condition.  2. To be exceptionally
   unaesthetic.  3. Of people, to be obnoxious or unusually stupid (as
   opposed to ignorant).  4. DESERVE TO LOSE: v. Said of someone who
   willfully does the wrong thing; humorously, if one uses a feature
   known to be marginal.  What is meant is that one deserves the
   consequences of one's losing actions.  "Boy, anyone who tries to
   use MULTICS deserves to lose!" See also SCREW, CHOMP, BAGBITER.
   LOSE LOSE - a reply or comment on a situation.

LOSER (loo'zr) n. An unexpectedly bad situation, program, programmer,
   or person.  Especially "real loser".

LOSS (los) n. Something which loses.  WHAT A (MOBY) LOSS!:
   interjection.

LOSSAGE (los'@j) n. The result of a bug or malfunction.

LPT (lip'it) [ITS] n. Line printer, of course. Rare under UNIX,
   commoner in hackers with MS-DOS or CP/M background (the printer
   device is called LPT: on those systems, which like ITS were
   strongly influenced by early DEC conventions).

LURKER (ler'ker) n. One of the `silent majority' in a USENET or BBS newsgroup;
   one who posts occasionally or not at all but is known to read the
   group regularly. Often in `THE LURKERS', the hypothetical audience
   for the group's FLAMING regulars.

LUNATIC FRINGE (l[y]oo'na-tik frinj) [IBM] n. Customers
   who can be relied upon to accept release 1 versions of software.

LUSER (loo'zr)  See USER.

			= M =

MACDINK (mak'dink) [from the Apple Macintosh, which is said to
   encourage such behavior] v.  To make many incremental and
   unnecessary cosmetic changes to a program or file.  Frequently the
   subject of the macdinking would be better off without them.  Ex:
   "When I left at 11pm last night, he was still macdinking the slides
   for his presentation."

MACRO (mak'ro) n. A name (possibly followed by a formal ARG list)
   which is equated to a text expression to which it is to be expanded
   (possibly with substitution of actual arguments) by a language
   translator. This definition can be found in any technical
   dictionary; what those won't tell you is how the hackish
   connotations of the term have changed over time. The term `macro'
   originated in early assemblers, which encouraged use of macros as a
   structuring and information-hiding device. During the early 70s
   macro assemblers became ubiquitous and sometimes quite as powerful
   and expensive as HLLs, only to fall from favor as improving
   compiler technology marginalized assembler programming (see
   LANGUAGES OF CHOICE). Nowadays the term is most often used in
   connection with the C preprocessor, LISP, or one of several
   special-purpose languages built around a macro-expansion facility
   (such as TEX or UNIX's nroff, troff and pic suite). Indeed, the
   meaning has drifted enough that the collective `macros' is now
   sometimes used for code in any special-purpose application-control
   control language, whether or not the language is actually
   translated by text expansion.

MACROLOGY (mak-ro'l@-jee) n. Set of usually complex or crufty macros,
   e.g. as part of a large system written in LISP, TECO or (less
   commonly) assembler.  Sometimes studying the macrology of a system
   is not unlike archaeology, hence the sound-alike construction.
   Prob. influenced by THEOLOGY (q.v.).

MANGO (mang'go) [orig. in-house slang at Symbolics] n.  A manager.
   See also DEVO and DOCO.

MACROTAPE (ma'kro-tayp) n. An industry standard reel of tape, as
   opposed to a MICROTAPE.

MAGIC (ma'jik) adj. 1. As yet unexplained, or too complicated to
   explain.  (compare Clarke's Second Law: "Any sufficiently advanced
   technology is indistinguishable from magic".)  "TTY echoing is
   controlled by a large number of magic bits."  "This routine
   magically computes the parity of an eight-bit byte in three
   instructions."  2. [Stanford] A feature not generally publicized
   which allows something otherwise impossible, or a feature formerly
   in that category but now unveiled. Example: The keyboard commands
   which override the screen-hiding features.

MAGIC COOKIE (ma'jik cuk'ee) [UNIX] n. 1. A thing that allows another
   thing to do something, usually as part of a crufty hack. A
   capability ticket.  Especially used of small data objects which
   contain data encoded in a strange or intrinsically
   machine-dependent way. 2. Blank left on the screen when your
   terminal changes modes. Some older terminals would print a blank
   when you entered and exited special modes, such as underline or
   flash. This was also called a GLITCH.

MAGIC NUMBER (ma'jik nuhm'br) [UNIX/C] n. 1. A MAGIC COOKIE located
   at the beginning of a binary data file to indicate its type to a
   utility. Under UNIX the system and various applications programs
   (especially the linker) distinguish between types of executable by
   looking for a magic number. 2. In source code, some non-obvious
   constant whose value is significant to the operation of a program
   and is inserted inconspicuously in line, rather than expanded in by
   a symbol set by a commented #define. Magic numbers in this sense
   are bad style.

MAGIC SMOKE (ma'jik smohk) n. A notional substance trapped inside IC
   packages that enables them to function. Its existence is
   demonstrated by what happens when a chip burns up -- the magic
   smoke gets let out, so it doesn't work any more. See SMOKE TEST.

MANGLE (mang'gl) v. Used similarly to MUNG or SCRIBBLE, but more
   violent in its connotations; something that is mangled has been
   irreversibly and totally trashed.

MARGINAL (mar-j@-nl) adj. 1. Extremely small.  "A marginal increase
   in core can decrease GC time drastically."  2. Of extremely small
   merit.  "This proposed new feature seems rather marginal to me."
   3. Of extremely small probability of winning.  "The power supply
   was rather marginal anyway; no wonder it crapped out."  4.
   MARGINALLY: adv.  Slightly.  "The ravs here are only marginally
   better than at Small Eating Place."

MARKETROID (mar'k@-troyd) alt. MARKETING SLIME, MARKETING DROID n.
   Member of a company's marketing department, esp.  one who promises
   users that the next version of a product will have features which
   are unplanned, extremely difficult to implement, and/or violate the
   laws of physics. Derogatory. Used by techies.

MARTIAN (mar'shn) n. A packet sent on a TCP/IP network with a source
   address of the test loopback interface (127.0.0.1).  As in "The
   domain server is getting lots of packets from Mars.  Does that
   gateway have a Martian filter?"

MASSAGE (m@-sahj') v. Vague term used to describe `smooth'
   transformations of a data set into a more useful form, esp.
   transformations which do not lose information. Connotes less pain
   and more ELEGANCE than MUNCH or CRUNCH (q.v.). "He wrote a program
   that massages X bitmap files into GIF format" Compare SLURP.

MEATWARE (meet'weir) n. Synonym for WETWARE (q.v.) Less common.

MEGAPENNY (meg'a-pen'ee) n. $10,000 (1 cent * 10e6). Used
   semi-humorously as a unit in comparing computer cost/performance
   figures.

MEGO (mego, meego) [Mine Eyes Glazeth Over] Also MEGO FACTOR.
   Handwaving intended to confuse the listener and hopefully induce
   agreement because the listener does not want to admit to not
   understanding what is going on.  MEGO is usually directed at senior
   management by engineers and contains a high proportion of TLAs
   (qv).

MELTDOWN (melt'down) n. See BROADCAST STORM.

MEME (meem) [coined on analogy with `gene' by Richard Dawkins] n. An
   idea considered as a REPLICATOR. Used esp. in the prase `meme
   complex' denoting a group of mutually supporting memes which form
   an organized belief system, such as a religion.  This dictionary is
   a vector of the "hacker subculture" meme complex; each entry might
   be considered a meme.  However, "meme" is often misused to mean
   "meme complex". Use of the term connotes acceptance of the idea that
   in humans (and presumably other tool- and language-using sentients)
   cultural evolution by selection of adaptive ideas has superseded
   biological evolution by selection of hereditary traits.

MEMETICS (mee-me-tiks) [from MEME] The study of memes. As of 1990,
   this is still an extremely informal and speculative endeavor,
   though the first steps towards at least statistical rigor have been
   made by H. Keith Henson and others. Memetics is a popular topic
   among hackers, who like to see themselves as the architects of the
   new information ecologies in which memes live and replicate.

MEME PLAGUE n. The spread of a successful but pernicious MEME, esp.
   one which `parasitizes' the victims into giving their all to
   propagate it.  Astrology, BASIC, and the other guy's religion are
   often considered to be examples. This usage is given point by the
   historical fact that `joiner' ideologies like Naziism or various
   forms of millenarian Christianity have exhibited plague-like cycles
   of exponential growth followed by collapse to small `reservoir'
   populations.

MEMORY LEAK (mem'@-ree leek) [C/UNIX programmers] n. An error in a
   program's dynamic-store allocation logic that causes it to fail to
   reclaim discarded memory, leading to attempted hogging of main
   store and eventual collapse due to memory exhaustion. See ALIASING
   SCREW, FANDANGO ON CORE, SMASH THE STACK, PRECEDENCE SCREW, OVERRUN
   SCREW.

MENUITIS (men`yoo-i'tis) n. Notional disease suffered by software with
   an obsessively simple-minded menu interface and no escape.  Hackers
   find this intensely irritating and much prefer the flexibility of
   command-line or language-style interfaces, especially those
   customizable via macros or a special-purpose language in which one
   can encode useful hacks.

MESS-DOS (mes-dos) [UNIX hackers] n. Derisory term for MS-DOS. Often
   followed by the ritual expurgation "Just Say No!". See MS-DOS. Most
   hackers (even many MS-DOS hackers) loathe MS-DOS for its
   single-tasking nature, its limits on application size, its nasty
   primitive interface, and its ties to IBMness (see FEAR AND
   LOATHING). Also "mess-loss", and "mess-dog".

META (mayt'@) [from analytic philosophy] adj. One level of description
   up.  Thus, a meta-syntactic variable is a variable in notation used
   to describe syntax and meta-language is language used to describe
   language. This is difficult to explain out of context, but much
   hacker humor turns on deliberate confusion between meta-levels.

META BIT (mayt'@) n. Bit 8 of an 8-bit character, on in values
   128-255. Also called HIGH BIT or ALT BIT. Some terminals and
   consoles (especially those designed for LISP traditions) have a
   META-shift key. Others (including, mirabile dictu, keyboards on IBM
   PC-class machines) have an ALT key. See also BUCKY BITS.

MICROFLOPPIES (mie'kroh-flo-peez) n. 3-1/2 inch floppies, as opposed to
   5-1/4 VANILLA floppies and the now-obsolescent 8-inch variety. This
   term may be headed for obsolescence as 5-1/4 inchers pass out of
   use, only to be revived if anybody floats a sub-3-inch floppy
   standard.

MICROTAPE (mi'kroh-tayp) n. Occasionally used to mean a DECtape, as
   opposed to a MACROTAPE.

MISFEATURE (mis-fee'chr) n. A feature which eventually screws
   someone, possibly because it is not adequate for a new situation
   which has evolved.  It is not the same as a bug because fixing it
   involves a gross philosophical change to the structure of the
   system involved.  Often a former feature becomes a misfeature
   because a tradeoff was made whose parameters subsequently changed
   (possibly only in the judgment of the implementors).  "Well, yeah,
   it's kind of a misfeature that file names are limited to six
   characters, but we're stuck with it for now."

MOBY (moh'bee) [seems to have been in use among model railroad fans
   years ago.  Derived from Melville's "Moby Dick" (some say from
   "Moby Pickle").]  1. adj. Large, immense, or complex.  "A moby
   frob."  2.  n. The maximum address space of a machine (see Appendix
   B).  3. A title of address (never of third-person reference),
   usually used to show admiration, respect, and/or friendliness to a
   competent hacker.  "So, moby Knight, how's the CONS machine doing?"
   4. adj. In backgammon, doubles on the dice, as in "moby sixes",
   "moby ones", etc.  MOBY FOO, MOBY WIN, MOBY LOSS: standard emphatic
   forms.  FOBY MOO: a spoonerism due to Greenblatt.  The MOBY
   constructions are now relatively rare outside MIT.

MODE (mohd) n. A general state, usually used with an adjective
   describing the state.  "No time to hack; I'm in thesis mode."
   Usage: in its jargon sense, MODE is most often said of people,
   though it is sometimes applied to programs and inanimate objects.
   "If you're on a TTY, E will switch to non-display mode."  In
   particular, see HACK MODE, DAY MODE, NIGHT MODE, and YOYO MODE;
   also COM MODE, TALK MODE, and GABRIEL MODE.

MODULO (mod'yuh-low) prep. Except for.  From mathematical
   terminology: one can consider saying that 4=22 "except for the 9's"
   (4=22 mod 9).  "Well, LISP seems to work okay now, modulo that GC
   bug."

MONKEY UP (muhn'kee uhp) v. To hack together hardware for a particular
   task, especially a one-shot job. Connotes an extremely CRUFTY and
   consciously temporary solution.

MONSTROSITY (mon-stro'si-tee) 1. n. A ridiculously ELEPHANTINE
   program or system, esp. one which is buggy or only marginally
   functional. 2.  The quality of being monstrous (see `Peculiar
   nouns' in the discussion of jargonification).

MOORE'S LAW (morz law) [folklore] The observation that the logic
   density of silicon integrated circuits has closely followed the
   curve (bits per inch ** 2) = 2 ** (n - 1962); that is, the amount
   of information storable in one square inch of silicon has roughly
   doubled yearly every year since the technology was invented.

MOTAS (moh-tahs) [USENET, Member Of The Appropriate Sex] n. A
   potential or (less often) actual sex partner. See MOTOS, MOTSS,
   S.O.

MOTOS (moh-tohs) [USENET, Member Of The Other Sex] n. A potential or
   (less often) actual sex partner. See MOTAS, MOTSS, S.O. Less common
   than MOTSS or MOTAS, which has largely displaced it.

MOTSS (mots) [USENET, Member Of The Same Sex] n. Esp. one considered
   as a possible sexual partner, e.g. by a gay or lesbian.  The
   gay-issues board on USENET is called soc.motss. See MOTOS and
   MOTAS, which derive from it. Also see S.O.

MOUNT (mownt) v. 1. To attach a removable storage volume to a machine.
   In elder days and on mainframes this verb was used almost
   exclusively of tapes; nowadays (especially under UNIX) it is more
   likely to refer to a disk volume. 2. By extension, to attach any
   removable device such as a sensor, robot arm, or MEATWARE subsystem
   (see Appendix A).

MOUSE AROUND (mows ar-ownd') v. To explore public portions of a large
   system, esp. a network such as Internet via FTP or TELNET, looking
   for interesting stuff to SNARF.

MOUSO (mow'so) n. [by analogy with `typo'] An error in mouse usage
   resulting in an inappropriate selection or graphic garbage on the
   screen.

MS-DOS (em-es-dahs) n. A clone of CP/M (q.v.) for the 8088 crufted
   together in six weeks by hacker Tim Patterson, who is said to have
   regretted it ever since.  Now the highest-unit-volume OS in
   history. See MESS-DOS.

MULTICS (muhl'tiks) n. [from Multi-Tasking Computer System] An early
   (late 1960s) timesharing operating system co-designed by a
   consortium including Honeywell and Bell Laboratories. All the
   members but Honeywell eventually pulled out after determining that
   SECOND-SYSTEM SYNDROME had bloated Multics to the point of
   practical unusability (though Honeywell did later comercialize it,
   it was never very successful).  One of the developers left in the
   lurch by the project's breakup was Ken Thompson, a circumstance
   which led directly to the birth of UNIX (q.v.). For this and other
   reasons aspects of the Multics design remain a topic of occasional
   debate among hackers. See also BRAIN DAMAGE.

MUMBLAGE (mum'bl@j) n. The topic of one's mumbling (see MUMBLE).  "All
   that mumblage" is used like "all that stuff" when it is not quite
   clear what it is or how it works, or like "all that crap" when
   "mumble" is being used as an implicit replacement for obscenities.

MUMBLE (mum'bl) interj. 1. Said when the correct response is either
   too complicated to enunciate or the speaker has not thought it out.
   Often prefaces a longer answer, or indicates a general reluctance
   to get into a big long discussion.  "Well, mumble."  2. Sometimes
   used as an expression of disagreement.  "I think we should buy it."
   "Mumble!"  Common variant: MUMBLE FROTZ.

MUNCH (muhnch) [often confused with "mung", q.v.] v. To transform information
   in a serial fashion, often requiring large amounts of computation.
   To trace down a data structure.  Related to CRUNCH (q.v.), but
   connotes less pain.

MUNCHING SQUARES (muhnch'ing skweirz) n. A DISPLAY HACK dating back to
   the PDP-1, which employs a trivial computation (involving XOR'ing
   of x-y display coordinates - see HAKMEM items 146-148) to produce
   an impressive display of moving, growing, and shrinking squares.
   The hack usually has a parameter (usually taken from toggle
   switches) which when well-chosen can produce amazing effects.  Some
   of these, discovered recently on the LISP machine, have been
   christened MUNCHING TRIANGLES, MUNCHING W'S, and MUNCHING MAZES.

MUNCHKIN (muhnch'kin) n. A teenage-or-younger micro enthusiast bashing
   BASIC or something else equally constricted. A term of mild
   derision -- munchkins are annoying but some grow up to be hackers
   after passing through a LARVAL STAGE. The term URCHIN is also used.
   See also BITTY BOX.

MUNDANE (muhn-dayn') [from SF fandom] n.  1.  A person who is not in
   science fiction fandom. 2.  A person who is not in the computer
   industry. In this sense, most often an adjectival modifier as in
   "in my mundane life..."

MUNG (muhng) alt. MUNGE (muhnj) [recursive acronym for Mung Until No
   Good] v. 1.  To make changes to a file, often large-scale, usually
   irrevocable.  Occasionally accidental.  See BLT.  2. To destroy,
   usually accidentally, occasionally maliciously.  The system only
   mungs things maliciously. See SCRIBBLE, MANGLE, TRASH. Reports from
   USENET suggest that the prononciation `munj' is now usual in
   speech, but `mung' is still common in program comments.

MUSIC (myoo's@k) n. A common extracurricular interest of hackers
   (compare SCIENCE-FICTION FANDOM, ORIENTAL FOOD; see also FILK).  It
   is widely believed among hackers that there is a substantial
   correlation between whatever mysterious traits underly hacking
   ability (on the one hand) and musical talent and sensitivity (on
   the other). It is certainly the case that hackers, as a rule, like
   music and often develop musical appreciation in unusual and
   interesting directions.  Folk music is very big in hacker circles;
   so is the sort of elaborate instrumental jazz/rock that used to be
   called `progressive' and isn't recorded much any more. Also, the
   hacker's musical range tends to be wide; many can listen with equal
   appreciation to (say) Talking Heads, Yes, Spirogyra, Scott Joplin,
   King Sunny Ade, The Pretenders, or one of Bach's Brandenburg
   Concerti. It is also apparently true that hackerdom includes a much
   higher concentration of talented amateur musicians than one would
   expect from a similar-sized control group of MUNDANES.

MUTTER (muh'tr) v. To quietly enter a command not meant for the ears
   of ordinary mortals. Frequently in "mutter an INCANTATION".

			= N =

N (en) adj. 1. Some large and indeterminate number of objects; "There
   were N bugs in that crock!"; also used in its original sense of a
   variable name.  2. An arbitrarily large (and perhaps infinite)
   number.  3. A variable whose value is specified by the current
   context.  "We'd like to order N wonton soups and a family dinner
   for N-1."  4. NTH: adj. The ordinal counterpart of N. "Now for the
   Nth and last time..."  In the specific context "Nth-year grad
   student", N is generally assumed to be at least 4, and is usually 5
   or more.  See also RANDOM NUMBERS.

NAILED TO THE WALL (nayld too dh@ wahl) [like a trophy] adj. Said of a
   bug finally eliminated after protracted and even heroic effort.

NANOACRE (nan'o-ay-kr) n. An area of space, or real-estate on a VLSI
   chip.  The term derives its amusement value from the fact that VLSI
   nanoacres have costs in the same range as real acres once one
   figures in design and fabrication-setup costs.

NANOBOT (nan'oh-bot) n. A robot of microscopic proportions, presumably
   built by means of NANOTECHNOLOGY (q.v.).  As yet, only used
   informally (and speculatively!). Also sometimes called a
   `nanoagent'.

NANOCOMPUTER (nan'oh-k:m-pyoo-tr) a computer whose switching elements
   are molecular in size.  Designs for mechanical nanocomputers which
   use single-molecule sliding rods for their logic have been
   proposed.  The controller for a NANOBOT would be a nanocomputer.

NANOTECHNOLOGY (nan'-oh-tek-naw`l:-ji) n. A hypothetical fabrication
   technology in which objects are designed and built with the
   individual specification and placement of each separate atom. The
   first unequivocal nano-fabrication experiments are taking place now
   (1990), for example with the deposition of individual Xenon atoms
   on a nickel substrate to spell the logo of a certain very large
   computer company by two of its physicists. Nanotechnology has been
   a hot topic in the hacker subculture ever since the term was coined
   by K. Eric Drexler in his book "Engines of Creation", where he
   predicted that nanotechnology could give rise to replicating
   ASSEMBLERs, permitting an exponential growth of productivity and
   personal wealth.

NASTYGRAM (nas'tee-gram) n. 1. A protocol packet or item of email that
   takes advantage of misfeatures or security holes on the target
   system to do untoward things (the latter is also called a
   `letterbomb'). 2. Disapproving mail, esp. from a net.god, pursuant
   to a violation of NETIQUETTE.

NEOPHILIA (nee-oh-fil'-ee-uh) n. The trait of being excited and
   pleased by novelty. Common trait of most hackers, SF fans, and
   members of several other connected "leading-edge" subcultures
   including the pro-technology "Whole-Earth" wing of the ecology
   movement, space activists, theater people, the membership of MENSA,
   and the Discordian/neo-pagan underground. All these groups overlap
   heavily and (where evidence is available) seem to share
   characteristic hacker tropisms for SF, MUSIC and ORIENTAL FOOD.

NET POLICE (net p@-lees') n.  Those USENET readers who feel it is
   their responsibility to pounce on and FLAME any posting which they
   regard as offensive, or in violation of their understanding of
   NETIQUETTE.  Generally used sarcastically or pejoratively. Also
   spelled `net.police'. See also CODE POLICE.

NETHACK (net'hak) n. See HACK, sense #12.

NETIQUETTE (net'ee-ket, net'i-ket) n. Conventions of politeness
   recognized on USENET, such as: avoidance of cross-posting to
   inappropriate groups, or refraining from commercial pluggery on the
   net,

NEEP-NEEP (neep neep) [onomatopoic, from New York SF fandom] n. One
   who is fascinated by computers. More general than HACKER, as it
   need not imply more skill than is required to boot games on a PC.
   The term NEEP-NEEPING applies specifically to the long
   conversations about computers that tend to develop in the corners
   at most SF-convention parties. Fandom has a related proverb to the
   effect that "Hacking is a conversational black hole!" [which, by
   coincidence, has been attributed to my SO -- ESR]

NET. (net dot) [USENET] Prefix used to describe people and events
   related to USENET.  From the pre-GREAT-RENAMING newsgroup names,
   e.g. net.singles.  Includes net.god(s) (q.v.), net.goddesses
   (various charismatic women with circles of on-line admirers),
   net.lurkers, (see LURKER), net.parties (a synonym for BOINK sense
   #2 (q.v.)) and many similar constructs.

NET.GOD (net god) n. Used to refer to anyone who has satisfies some
   combination of the following conditions: has been visible on USENET
   for more than five years, ran one of the original backbone sites,
   moderated an important newsgroup, wrote news software, or knows
   Gene, Mark, Rick, Henry, Chuq, and Greg personally. See DEMIGOD.

NETWORK ADDRESS (netwerk @-dres') n. As used by hackers, means an
   address on THE NETWORK (almost always a BANG PATH or INTERNET
   ADDRESS). An essential to be taken seriously by hackers; in
   particular, persons or organizations claiming to understand, work
   with, sell to, or recruit from among hackers that *don't* display
   net addresses are quietly presumed to be clueless poseurs and
   mentally FLUSHED (sense #3). Hackers often put their net addresses
   on their business cards and wear them prominently in contexts where
   they expect to meet other hackers face-to-face (see also
   SCIENCE-FICTION FANDOM) This is mostly functional, but is also a
   connotative signal that one identifies with hackerdom (like lodge
   pins among Masons or tie-died T-shirts among Grateful Dead fans).
   Net addresses are often used in email text as a more concise
   substitute for personal names; indeed, hackers may come to know
   each other quite well by network names without ever learning each
   others' `legal' monikers.

NETWORK, THE (net'werk, dh@) n. 1. The union of all the major academic
   and noncommercial/hacker-oriented networks such as Internet, the
   old ARPANET, NSFNet, BITNET and the virtual UUCP and USENET
   "networks", plus the corporate in-house networks that gate to them.
   A site is generally considered `on the network' if it can be
   reached through some compination of Internet-style (@-sign) and
   UUCP (bang-path) addresses. See BANG PATH, INTERNET ADDRESS,
   NETWORK ADDRESS. 2. A fictional conspiracy of libertarian
   hacker-subversives and anti-authoritarian monkeywrenchers described
   in Robert Anton Wilson's novel _Schrodinger's_Cat_, to which many
   hackers have subsequently decided they belong (this is an example
   of HA HA, ONLY SERIOUS).

NEWGRP WARS (n[y]oo'grp wohrz) [USENET] n. Salvoes of duelling
   `newgrp' and `rmgroup' messages sometimes exchanged by persons on
   opposite sides of a dispute over whether a NEWSGROUP should be
   created netwide. These usually settle out within a week or two as
   it becomes clear whether the group has a natural constituency
   (usually, it doesn't). At times, especially in the completely
   anarchicic `alt' hierarchy, the names of newsgroups themselves
   become a form of comment or humor; cf. the spinoff of
   alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork from alt.tv.muppets in early 1990,
   or any number of specialized abuse groups named after particularly
   notorious flamers.

NEWSFROUP (n[y]oos'froop) [USENET] n. Silly written-only synonym for
   NEWSGROUP, originated as a typo but now in regular use on USENET'S
   talk.bizarre and other not-real-tightly-wrapped groups.

NEWSGROUP (n[y]oos'groop) [USENET] n. One of USENET's large collection
   of topic groups. Among the best-known are comp.lang.c (the
   C-language forum), comp.unix.wizards (for UNIX wizards),
   rec.arts.sf-lovers (for science-fiction fans) and
   talk.politics.misc (miscellaneous political discussions and
   flamage).

NIGHT MODE (niet mohd) n. See PHASE (of people).

NIL (nil) [from LISP terminology for "false"] No.  Usage: used in
   reply to a question, particularly one asked using the "-P"
   convention.  See T.

NON-OPTIMAL SOLUTION (non-op'ti-m@l so-lu'shn) n. An astoundingly
   stupid way to do something.  This term is generally used in deadpan
   sarcasm, as its impact is greatest when the person speaking looks
   completely serious.  Compare STUNNING. See also BAD THING.

NONTRIVIAL (non-tri'vi-@l) adj. Requiring real thought or significant
   computing power.  Often used as an understated way of saying that a
   problem is quite difficult. See TRIVIAL, UNINTERESTING.

NO-OP (noh-op) alt. NOP (nop) [no operation] n. 1. A machine
   instruction that does nothing (sometimes used in assembler-level
   programming as filler for data areas). 2. A person who contributes
   nothing to a project, or has nothing going on upstairs, or both. As
   in "he's a no-op."

NP- (en pee) pref.  Extremely.  Used to modify adjectives describing a
   level or quality of difficulty.  "Getting this algorithm to perform
   correctly in every case is NP-annoying."  This is generalized from
   the computer science terms "NP-hard" and "NP-easy".  NP is the set
   of Nondeterministic-Polynomial algorithms, those which can be
   completed by a nondeterministic finite state machine in an amount
   of time that is a polynomial function of the size of the input.)

NUKE (nook) v. 1. To intentionally delete the entire contents of a given
   directory or storage volume. "On UNIX, rm -r /usr will nuke
   everything in the usr filesystem." Never used for accidental
   deletion. Oppose BLOW AWAY. 2. Syn. for DYKE, applied to smaller
   things such as features or code sections.

NUXI PROBLEM, THE (nuk'see pro'blm, dh@) n. This refers to the
   problem of transferring data between machines with differing
   byte-order. The string "UNIX" might look like "NUXI" on a machine
   with a different "byte sex". See also, BIG-ENDIAN, LITTLE-ENDIAN,
   SWAB, and BYTESEXUAL.

			= O =

OBSCURE (ob'skyoor) adj. Used in an exaggeration of its normal
   meaning, to imply a total lack of comprehensibility.  "The reason
   for that last crash is obscure."  "FIND's command syntax is
   obscure."  MODERATELY OBSCURE implies that it could be figured out
   but probably isn't worth the trouble. OBSCURE IN THE EXTREME is a
   preferred emphatic form.

OBFUSCATED C CONTEST (ob'fus-cay-ted see kon'test) n. Annual contest
   run since 1984 over THE NETWORK by Landon Curt Noll & friends. The
   overall winner is he who produces the most unreadable, creative and
   bizarre working C program; various other prizes are awarded at the
   judges' whim. Given C's terse syntax and macro-preprocessor
   facilities, this given contestants a lot of maneuvering room. THe
   winning programs often manage to be simultaneously a) funny, b)
   breathtaking works of art, and c) Horrible Examples of how *not* to
   code in C.

OCTAL FORTY (ok'tl for'tee) n. Hackish way of saying "I'm drawing a
   blank" (octal 40 is the ASCII space charater). See WALL.

OFF THE TROLLEY (of dh@ tro'lee) adj.  Describes the behavior of a
   program which malfunctions but doesn't actually CRASH or get halted
   by the operating system. See GLITCH, BUG, DEEP SPACE.

OFFLINE (of'lien) adv.  Not now or not here.  Example: "Let's take
   this discussion offline."

ONE BELL SYSTEM (IT WORKS) This was the output from the old Unix V6
   "1" command.  The "1" command also contained a random number
   generator which gave it a one in ten chance of recursively
   executing itself.

ONE-LINER WARS (wuhn-lie'nr worz) n. Popular game among hackers who
   code in the language APL. The objective is to see who can code the
   most interesting and/or useful routine in one line of operators
   chosen from APL's exceedingly HAIRY primitive set. [This is not
   *quite* as silly as it sounds; I myself have coded one-line LIFE
   programs and once uttered a one-liner that performed lexical
   analysis of its input string followed by a dictionary lookup for
   good measure -- ESR]

OOBLICK (oo'blik) n. A bizarre semi-liquid sludge made from cornstarch
   and water. Enjoyed among hackers who make batches for playtime at
   parties for its amusing and extremely non-Newtonian behavior; it
   pours and splatters, but resists rapid motion like a solid and will
   even crack when hit by a hammer. Often found near lasers.

OPEN (oh'p@n) n. Abbreviation for "open (or left) parenthesis", used
   when necessary to eliminate oral ambiguity.  To read aloud the LISP
   form (DEFUN FOO (X) (PLUS X 1)) one might say: "Open def-fun foo,
   open eks close, open, plus ekx one, close close."  See CLOSE.

OPEN SWITCH (oh'p@n swich) [IBM] n. An unresolved issue.

OPERATING SYSTEM (ah'per-ay-ting sis'tm) n. (Often abbreviated "OS")
   The foundation software of a machine, of course; that which
   schedules tasks, allocates storage, and presents a default
   interface to the user between applications. The facilities the
   operating system provides and its general design philosophy exert
   an extremely strong influence on programming style and the
   technical culture that grows up around a machine. Hacker folklore
   has been shaped primarily by the UNIX, ITS, TOPS-10,
   TOPS-20/TWENEX, VMS, CP/M, MS/DOS, and MULTICS operating systems
   (most critically by ITS and UNIX). Each of these has its own entry,
   which see.

ORANGE BOOK, THE (oh'rnj buk, dh@) n. The U.S. Government's standards
   document (Trusted Computer System Evaluation Criteria, DOD standard
   5200.28-STD, December, 1985) characterizing secure computing
   architectures, defining levels A1 (least secure) through C3. Stock
   UNIXes are roughly C2. See SILVER BOOK, WHITE BOOK, PURPLE BOOK.

ORIENTAL FOOD (oh-ree-en'tl food) n. Hackers display an intense
   tropism towards Oriental cuisine, especially Chinese, and
   especially of the spicier varieties such as Szechuan and Hunan.
   This phenomenon (which has also been observed in subcultures which
   overlap heavily with hackerdom, most notably science-fiction
   fandom) has never been satisfactorily explained, but is
   sufficiently intense that one can assume the target of a hackish
   dinner expedition to be the best local Chinese place and be right
   at least 3 times out of 4. See also CHINESE RAVS, GREAT-WALL,
   STIR-FRIED RANDOM.

ORTHOGONAL (or-tho'guh-nl) [from mathematics] n. Mutually
   independent; well-separated; sometimes, irrelevant to. Used to
   describe sets of primitives or capabilities which, like a vector
   basis in geometry, span the entire `capability space' of the system
   and are in some sense non-overlapping or mutually independent. For
   example, in architectures such as the MC68000 where all or nearly
   all registers can be used interchangeably in any role with respect
   to any instruction, the register set is said to be orthogonal. Or,
   in logic, the set of operators `not' and `or' is orthogonal, but
   the set `and', `or' and `not' is not (because any one of these can
   be expressed in terms of the other two via De Morgan's Laws).

OS (oh ess) 1. [Operating System] n. Acronym heavily used in email,
   occasionally in speech. 2. obs. n. On ITS, an output spy.

OS/2 (oh ess too) n. The anointed successor to MS-DOS for Intel-286
   and 386-based micros; proof that IBM/Microsoft couldn't get it
   right the second time, either. Cited here because mentioning it is
   always good for a cheap laugh among hackers - the design was so bad
   that three years after introduction you could still count the major
   APPs shipping for it on the fingers of two hands. See VAPORWARE,
   MONSTROSITY, CRETINOUS, SECOND-SYSTEM SYNDROME.

OVERRUN SCREW (oh'v@r-ruhn scroo) [C programming] n. A variety of
   FANDANGO ON CORE produced by scribbling past the end of an array (C
   has no checks for this).  This is relatively benign and easy to
   spot if the array is static; if it is auto, the result may be to
   SMASH THE STACK. The term OVERRUN SCREW is used esp. of scribbles
   beyond the end of arrays allocated with malloc(3); this typically
   trashes the allocation header for the next block in the ARENA,
   producing massive lossage within malloc and (frequently) a core
   dump on the next operation to use stdio or malloc(3) itself. See
   also MEMORY LEAK, ALIASING SCREW, PRECEDENCE SCREW, FANDANGO ON
   CORE.

			= P =

PAGE IN (payj in) [MIT] v. To become aware of one's surroundings again
   after having paged out (see PAGE OUT).  Usually confined to the
   sarcastic comment, "So-and-so pages in. Film at 11." See FILM AT
   11.

PAGE OUT (payj owt) [MIT] v. To become unaware of one's surroundings
   temporarily, due to daydreaming or preoccupation.  "Can you repeat
   that?  I paged out for a minute."  See PAGE IN.

PANIC (pa'nik) [UNIX] v. An action taken by a process or the entire
   operating system when an unrecoverable error is discovered.  The
   action usually consists of: (1) displaying localized information on
   the controlling terminal, (2) saving, or preparing for saving, a
   memory image of the process or operating system, and (3)
   terminating the process or rebooting the system.

PARAM (p@-ram') n. Speeech-only shorthand for "parameter". Compare
   ARG, VAR.

PARITY ERRORS (per'@-tee er'@rz) pl.n. Those little lapses of
   attention or (in more severe cases) consciousness, usually brought
   on by having spent all night and most of the next day hacking.  "I
   need to go home and crash; I'm starting to get a lot of parity
   errors."

PARSE (pars) [from linguistic terminology] v. 1. To determine the
   syntactic structure of a sentence or other utterance (close to the
   standard English meaning).  Example: "That was the one I saw you."
   "I can't parse that."  2. More generally, to understand or
   comprehend.  "It's very simple; you just kretch the glims and then
   aos the zotz."  "I can't parse that."  3. Of fish, to have to
   remove the bones yourself (usually at a Chinese restaurant).  "I
   object to parsing fish" means "I don't want to get a whole fish,
   but a sliced one is okay."  A "parsed fish" has been deboned.
   There is some controversy over whether "unparsed" should mean
   "bony", or also mean "deboned".

PATCH (pach) 1. n. A temporary addition to a piece of code, usually
   as a quick-and-dirty remedy to an existing bug or misfeature.  A
   patch may or may not work, and may or may not eventually be
   incorporated permanently into the program.  2. v. To insert a patch
   into a piece of code. 3. [in the UNIX world] n. a set of
   differences between two versions of code generated with diff(1) and
   intended to be mechanically applied using patch(1); often used as a
   way of distributing permanent C code upgrades and fixes over
   USENET.

PD (pee-dee) adj. Common abbreviation for "public domain", applied to
   software distributed over USENET and from Internet archive sites.
   Much of this software is not in fact "public domain" in the legal
   sense but travels under various copyrights granting reproduction
   and use rights to anyone who can SNARF a copy. See COPYLEFT.

PDL (pid'l or pud'l) [acronym for Push Down List] n. 1. A LIFO queue
   (stack); more loosely, any priority queue; even more loosely, any
   queue.  A person's pdl is the set of things he has to do in the
   future.  One speaks of the next project to be attacked as having
   risen to the top of the pdl.  "I'm afraid I've got real work to do,
   so this'll have to be pushed way down on my pdl." All these
   usages are also frequently found with STACK (q.v) itself as the
   subject noun.  See PUSH and POP.  2. Dave Lebling (PDL@DM).

PDP-10 [Programmable Digital Processor model 10] n. The machine that
   made timesharing real. Looms large in hacker folklore due to early
   adoption in the mid-70s by many university computing facilities and
   research labs including the MIT AI lab, Stanford and CMU. Some
   aspects of the instruction set (most notably the bit-field
   instructions) are still considered unsurpassed. The '10 was
   eventually eclipsed by the PDP-11 and VAX machines and dropped from
   DEC's line in the early '80s, and to have cut one's teeth on one is
   considered something of a badge of honorable old-timerhood among
   hackers. See TOPS-10, ITS, Appendix B.

PERCENT-S (per-sent' es) [From "%s", the formatting sequence in C's
   printf() library function used to indicate that an arbitrary string
   may be inserted] n. An unspecified person or object.  "I was just
   talking to some percent-s in administration." Compare RANDOM.

PERF (perf) n. See CHAD (sense #1).

PESSIMAL (pes'i-ml) [Latin-based antonym for "optimal"] adj.
   Maximally bad.  "This is a pessimal situation."

PESSIMIZING COMPILER (pes'i-miez-ing kuhm-pie'lr) [antonym of
   `optimizing compiler'] n. A compiler that produces object code that
   is worse than the straightforward or obvious translation.

PHASE (fayz) 1. n. The phase of one's waking-sleeping schedule with
   respect to the standard 24-hour cycle.  This is a useful concept
   among people who often work at night according to no fixed
   schedule.  It is not uncommon to change one's phase by as much as
   six hours/day on a regular basis.  "What's your phase?"  "I've been
   getting in about 8 PM lately, but I'm going to work around to the
   day schedule by Friday."  A person who is roughly 12 hours out of
   phase is sometimes said to be in "night mode".  (The term "day
   mode" is also used, but less frequently.)  2. CHANGE PHASE THE HARD
   WAY: To stay awake for a very long time in order to get into a
   different phase.  3. CHANGE PHASE THE EASY WAY: To stay asleep etc.

PHASE OF THE MOON (fayz uhv dh@ moon) n. Used humorously as a random
   parameter on which something is said to depend.  Sometimes implies
   unreliability of whatever is dependent, or that reliability seems
   to be dependent on conditions nobody has been able to determine.
   "This feature depends on having the channel open in mumble mode,
   having the foo switch set, and on the phase of the moon."

PIG, RUN LIKE A (pig, ruhn liek uh) adj. To run very slowly on given
   hardware, said of software. Distinct from HOG, q.v.

PING (ping) [from TCP/IP terminology] n.,v. 1. Slang term for a small
   network message (ICMP ECHO) sent by a computer to check for the
   presence and aliveness of another one.  Occasionally used as a
   phone greeting. See ACK. 2.  To verify the presence of.  3. To get
   the attention of.  From the Unix command by the same name (an
   acronym of "Packet INternet Groper) that sends an ICMP ECHO packet
   to another host.

PIPELINE (piep'lien) [UNIX, orig. by Doug McIlroy; now also used under
   MS-DOS and elsewhere] n. A chain of FILTER programs connected
   "head-to-tail", that is so that the output of one becomes the input
   of the next.  Under UNIX, user utilities can often be implemented
   or at least prototyped by a suitable collection of pipelines and
   temp-file grinding encapsulated in a shell script; this is much
   less effort than writing C every time, and the capability is
   considered one of UNIX's major WINNING features.

PLAYPEN (play'pen) [IBM] n. A room where programmers work. Compare
   SALT MINES.

PLUGH (ploogh) [from the ADVENT game] v. A `magic word' sometimes used
  as a metasyntactic variable in the style of FOO. See XYZZY.

PM (pee em) 1. [from "preventive maintenence"] v. to bring down a
   machine for inspection or test purposes. 2. n. Abbrev. for
   "Presentation Manager", an ELEPHANTINE OS/2 GUI.

P.O.D. (pee-oh-dee) Acronym for `Piece Of Data' (as opposed to a code
   section). Usage: pedantic and rare.

POINTER ARITHMETIC (poyn'tr @-rith'm-@-tik`) [C programmers] n. The
   use of increment and decrement operations on address pointers to
   traverse arrays or structure fields. See also BUMP.

POLL (pohl) v.,n. 1. The action of checking the status of an input
   line, sensor, or memory location to see if a particular external
   event has been registered. 2. To ask.  "I'll poll everyone and see
   where they want to go for lunch."

POLYGON PUSHER (pol'@-gon pu'shr) n. A chip designer who spends
   most of his/her time at the physical layout level (which requires
   drawing *lots* of multi-colored polygons).

POM (pee-oh-em) n. Phase of the moon (q.v.).  Usage: usually used in
   the phrase "POM dependent" which means FLAKEY (q.v.).

POP (pop) [based on the stack operation that removes the top of a stack, and
   the fact that procedure return addresses are saved on the stack]
   dialect: POPJ (pop-jay), based on the PDP-10 procedure return
   instruction.  v. To return from a digression.  By verb doubling,
   "Popj, popj" means roughly, "Now let's see, where were we?"
   See RTI.

PRECEDENCE SCREW (pre's@-dens scroo) [C programmers] n. Coding error
   in an expression to to unexpected grouping of arithmetic or logical
   operators by the compiler. Used esp. of certain common coding
   errors in C due to the nonintuitively low precedence levels of &, |
   and ^. Can always be avoided by suitable use of parentheses. See
   ALIASING SCREW, MEMORY LEAK, SMASH THE STACK, FANDANGO ON CORE,
   OVERRUN SCREW.

PRIME TIME (priem tiem) [from TV programming] n. Normal high-usage
   hours on a timesharing system, the `day shift'. Avoidance of prime
   time is a major reason for NIGHT MODE hacking.

PRIORITY INTERRUPT (prie-or'i-tee in'ter-ruhpt) [from the hardware
   term] n. Describes any stimulus compelling enough to yank one right
   out of hack mode.  Classically used to describe being dragged away
   by an SO for immediate sex, but may also refer to more mundane
   interruptions such as a fire alarm going off in the near vicinity.

PROPELLER HEAD (proh-pel'r hed) n. Used by hackers, this is syn. with
   COMPUTER GEEK. Non-hackers sometimes use it to describe all techies.

PROTOCOL (proh'tuh-kol) n. See DO PROTOCOL.

PROWLER (prow'lr) [UNIX] n. A DEMON that is run periodically
   (typically once a week) to seek out and erase core files, truncate
   administrative logfiles, nuke lost+found directories, and otherwise
   clean up the cruft that tends to pile up in the corners of a file
   system.

PSEUDOPRIME (soo'doh-priem) n. A backgammon prime (six consecutive
   occupied points) with one point missing.

PUNT (punt) [from the punch line of an old joke: "Drop back 15 yards
   and punt"] v. To give up, typically without any intention of
   retrying.

PURPLE BOOK, THE (per'pl buk) n. The System V Interface Definition.
   The covers of the first editions were an amazingly nauseating shade
   of off-lavender. See WHITE BOOK, SILVER BOOK, ORANGE BOOK.

PUSH (push) [based on the stack operation that puts the current
   information on a stack, and the fact that procedure call addresses
   are saved on the stack] dialect: PUSHJ (push-jay), based on the
   PDP-10 procedure call instruction.  v. To enter upon a digression,
   to save the current discussion for later.

			= Q =

QUANTUM BOGODYNAMICS (kwahn'tm boh`goh-die-nam'iks) n. Theory
   promulgated by ESR (one of the authors) which characterizes the
   universe in terms of bogon sources (such as politicians, used-car
   salesmen, TV evangelists, and SUITs in general), bogon sinks (such
   as taxpayers and computers), and bogosity potential fields.  Bogon
   absorption, of course, causes human beings to behave mindlessly and
   machines to fail (and may cause them to emit secondary bogons as
   well); however, the precise mechanics of the bogon-computron
   interaction are not yet understood and remain to be elucidated.
   Quantum bogodynamics is most frequently invoked to explain the
   sharp increase in hardware and software failures in the presence of
   suits; the latter emit bogons which the former absorb. See BOGON,
   COMPUTRON, SUIT.

QUES (kwess) 1. n. The question mark character ("?").  2. interj.
   What?  Also QUES QUES?  See WALL.

QUX (kwuhx) The fourth of the standard metasyntactic variables, after
   BAZ and before the QUU*X series. See FOO, BAR, BAZ, QUUX.

QUUX (kwooks) [invented by Steele] Mythically, from the Latin
   semi-deponent verb QUUXO, QUUXARE, QUUXANDUM IRI; noun form
   variously QUUX (plural QUUCES, Anglicized to QUUXES) and QUUXU
   (genitive plural is QUUXUUM, four U's in seven letters).] 1.
   Originally, a meta-word like FOO and FOOBAR.  Invented by Guy
   Steele for precisely this purpose when he was young and naive and
   not yet interacting with the real computing community.  Many people
   invent such words; this one seems simply to have been lucky enough
   to have spread a little.  2. interj. See FOO; however, denotes very
   little disgust, and is uttered mostly for the sake of the sound of
   it.  3. n.  Refers to one of three people who went to Boston Latin
   School and eventually to MIT:
	THE GREAT QUUX:  Guy L. Steele Jr.
	THE LESSER QUUX:  David J. Littleboy
	THE MEDIOCRE QUUX:  Alan P. Swide
   (This taxonomy is said to be similarly applied to three Frankston
   brothers at MIT.)  QUUX, without qualification, usually refers to
   The Great Quux, who is somewhat infamous for light verse and for
   the "Crunchly" cartoons.  4. QUUXY: adj. Of or pertaining to a
   QUUX.  5. n. The Micro Quux (Sam Lewis).

			= R =

RANDOM (ran'dm) adj. 1. Unpredictable (closest to mathematical
   definition); weird.  "The system's been behaving pretty randomly."
   2. Assorted; undistinguished.  "Who was at the conference?"  "Just
   a bunch of random business types."  3.  Frivolous; unproductive;
   undirected (pejorative).  "He's just a random loser."  4.
   Incoherent or inelegant; not well organized.  "The program has a
   random set of misfeatures."  "That's a random name for that
   function."  "Well, all the names were chosen pretty randomly."  5.
   Gratuitously wrong, i.e., poorly done and for no good apparent
   reason.  For example, a program that handles file name defaulting
   in a particularly useless way, or an assembler routine that could
   easily have been coded using only three ac's, but randomly uses
   seven for assorted non-overlapping purposes, so that no one else
   can invoke it without first saving four extra ac's.  6. In no
   particular order, though deterministic.  "The I/O channels are in a
   pool, and when a file is opened one is chosen randomly."  n. 7. A
   random hacker; used particularly of high school students who soak
   up computer time and generally get in the way.  8. (occasional MIT
   usage) One who lives at Random Hall.  J. RANDOM is often prefixed
   to a noun to make a "name" out of it (by comparison to common names
   such as "J. Fred Muggs").  The most common uses are "J. Random
   Loser" and "J. Random Nurd" ("Should J. Random Loser be allowed to
   gun down other people?"), but it can be used just as an elaborate
   version of RANDOM in any sense.  See also SOME RANDOM X.

RANDOM NUMBERS (ran'd@m nuhm'brz) n. When one wishes to specify a
   large but random number of things, and the context is inappropriate
   for `N' (q.v.), certain numbers are preferred by hacker tradition
   (that is, easily recognized as placeholders). These include

   17  Long described at MIT as "the least random number". Also see 23.
   23  A sacred number of Eris, Goddess of Discord (along with 17 & 5).
   42  The Answer to the Question of Life, the Universe and Everything.
   69  From the sexual act. This one was favored in MIT's ITS culture.
   666 The Number of the Beast.

   For further enlightenment, consult the _Principia_Discordia_,
   _The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_To_The_Galaxy_, any porn movie, and the
   Christian Bible's _Book_Of_Revelations_. See also DISCORDIANISM.

RANDOMNESS (ran'dm-nes) n. An unexplainable misfeature; gratuitous
   inelegance.  Also, a HACK or CROCK which depends on a complex
   combination of coincidences (or rather, the combination upon which
   the crock depends).  "This hack can output characters 40-57 by
   putting the character in the accumulator field of an XCT and then
   extracting 6 bits -- the low two bits of the XCT opcode are the
   right thing."  "What randomness!"

RAPE (rayp) v. To (metaphorically) screw someone or something,
   violently.  Usage: often used in describing file-system damage.
   "So-and-so was running a program that did absolute disk I/O and
   ended up raping the master directory."

RARE (reir) [UNIX] adj. CBREAK mode (character-by-character with
   interrupts enabled). Distinguished from `raw' and `cooked', but
   unlike them this term is strictly a creature of folklore, not
   found in the manuals. Usage: rare.

RASTER BURN (ras'tr bern) n. Eyestrain brought on by too many hours
   of looking at low-res, poorly tuned or glare-ridden monitors, esp.
   graphics monitors. See TERMINAL ILLNESS.

RAVE (rayv) [WPI] v. 1. To persist in discussing a specific subject.
   2. To speak authoritatively on a subject about which one knows very
   little.  3. To complain to a person who is not in a position to
   correct the difficulty.  4. To purposely annoy another person
   verbally.  5. To evangelize.  See FLAME.  Also used to describe a
   less negative form of blather, such as friendly bullshitting.

RAVE ON! (rayv on) imp. Sarcastic invitation to continue a RAVE,
   often by someone who wishes the raver would get a clue but realizes
   this is unlikely.

READ-ONLY USER (reed'ohn-lee yoo'zr) n. Describes a LUSER who uses
   computers almost exclusively for reading USENET, bulletin boards
   and email, as opposed to writing code or purveying useful
   information. See TWINK.

REAL SOON NOW (reel soon now) [orig. from SF's fanzine community] adj.
   1. Supposed to be available (or fixed, or cheap, or whatever) real
   soon now according to somebody, but the speaker is quite skeptical.
   2. When the gods/fates/other time commitments permit the speaker to
   get to it.  Often abbreviated RSN.

REAL TIME (reel tiem) adv. Doing something while people are watching
   or waiting.  "I asked her how to find the caller's pc on the stack
   and she came up with an algorithm in real time."

REAL USER (reel yoo'zr) n. 1. A commercial user.  One who is paying
   "real" money for his computer usage.  2. A non-hacker.  Someone
   using the system for an explicit purpose (research project, course,
   etc.).  See USER.

REAL WORLD, THE (reel werld, dh@) n. 1. In programming, those
   institutions at which programming may be used in the same sentence
   as FORTRAN, COBOL, RPG, IBM, etc.  2. To programmers, the location
   of non-programmers and activities not related to programming.  3. A
   universe in which the standard dress is shirt and tie and in which
   a person's working hours are defined as 9 to 5.  4. The location of
   the status quo.  5. Anywhere outside a university.  "Poor fellow,
   he's left MIT and gone into the real world."  Used pejoratively by
   those not in residence there.  In conversation, talking of someone
   who has entered the real world is not unlike talking about a
   deceased person. See also FEAR AND LOATHING and UNINTERESTING.

REINCARNATION, CYCLE OF (ree-in-kar-nay'shn) n. Term used to refer to
   a well-known effect whereby function in a computing system family
   is migrated out to special purpose peripheral hardware for speed,
   then the peripheral evolves towards more computing power as it does
   its job, then somebody notices that it's inefficient to support two
   asymmetrical processors in the architecture and folds the function
   back into the main CPU, at which point the cycle begins again.
   Several iterations of this cycle have been observed in graphics
   processor design, and at least one or two in communications and
   floating-point processors.

REGULAR EXPRESSIONS (reg'yoo-lr ek-spre-shns) [UNIX] The UNIX
   conventions for filename and regular-expression wildcarding have
   become sufficiently pervasive than many hackers use some of them in
   written English, especially in email or news on technical topics.
   Those commonly encountered include:

	*	wildcard for any string (see UN*X, U*IX).
	?	wildcard for any character (generally only read this
		way in the middle of a word.
	[]	set-of-characters braces.

   Some examples: "He said his name was [KC]arl" (expresses ambiguity).
   "That got posted to talk.politics.*" (all the talk.politics subgroups
   on USENET). Other examples are given under the entry for `X'. The
   * wildcard has a name of its own; it's a `Kleene star'.

RELIGIOUS ISSUES (ree-lij'-@s is'yoos) n. Questions which seemingly
   cannot be raised without touching off a FLAME WAR, such as "What is
   the best editor/language operating system/architecture". See also
   THEOLOGY.

RELIGIOUS WAR (ree-lij'@s wor)[from USENET, but may predate it] n.
   FLAME WARS over RELIGIOUS ISSUES.

REPLICATOR (rep'l:-kay-t:r) any construct that acts to produce copies
   of itself; this could be a living organism, an idea (see MEME), a
   program (see WORM, WABBIT and VIRUS), or a robot.

RETROCOMPUTING (ret'-roh-k@m-pyoo'ting) n. Refers to emulations
   of way-behind-the state-of-the-art hardware or software, or
   implementations of never-was-state-of-the-art; esp. if such
   implementations are elaborate practical jokes and/or parodies
   of more `serious' designs. Perhaps the most widely distributed
   retrocomputing utility was the pnch(6) program on V7 and other
   early UNIX versions, which would accept up to 80 characters of
   text argument and display the corresponding pattern in Hollerith
   card code. Other well-known retrocomputing hacks have included
   the language INTERCAL, a jcl-emulating shell for UNIX, and the
   card-punch-emulating editor named 029.

RFC (ahr ef see) n. Request For Comment. One of a long-established
   series of numbered Internet standards widely followed by commercial
   and PD software in the Internet and UNIX communities. Perhaps the
   single most influential one has been RFC-822 (the Internet
   mail-format standard). The RFCs are unusual in that they are
   floated by technical experts acting on their own initiative and
   reviewed by the Internet at large, rather than formally promulgated
   through an institution such as ANSI.

RICE BOX (ries boks) [from ham radio slang] n. Any Asian-made
   commodity computer, esp. an 8086, 80286, 80386 or 80486-based
   machine built to IBM PC-compatible ISA or EISA-bus standards.

RIGHT THING, THE (riet thing, dh@) n. That which is "obviously" the
   correct or appropriate thing to use, do, say, etc.  Use of this
   term often implies that in fact reasonable people may disagree.
   "Never let your conscience keep you from doing the right thing!"
   "What's the right thing for LISP to do when it reads '(.)'?"
   Antonym: THE WRONG THING (q.v.).

ROACH (rohch) [Bell Labs] v. To destroy, esp. of a data structure.
   Hardware gets TOASTed, software gets roached.

ROBUST (roh'buhst) adj. Said of a system which has demonstrated an
   ability to recover gracefully from the whole range of exception
   conditions in a given environment. One step below BULLETPROOF.
   Compare SMART, oppose BRITTLE.

ROGUE (rohg) [UNIX] n. Graphic Dungeons-And-Dragons-like game written
   under BSD UNIX and subsequently ported to other UNIX systems. The
   original BSD curses(3) screen-handling package was hacked together
   by Ken Arnold to support ROGUE, and has since become one of UNIX's
   most important and heavily used application libraries. See HACK.

ROOM-TEMPERATURE IQ (room tem'prat-yoor ie-kyoo) [IBM] 80 or below.
   Used in describing expected the intelligence range of the LUSER. As
   in "Well, but how's this interface gonna play with the
   room-temperature IQ crowd?" See DROOL-PROOF PAPER.

RTFM (ahr-tee-ef-em) [UNIX] Abbrev. for "Read The F**king Manual".
   Used by GURUs to brush off questions they consider trivial or
   annoying. Compare DON'T DO THAT, THEN.

RTI (ahr-tee-ie) interj. The mnemonic for the `return from interrupt'
   instruction on Intel microprocessors. Equivalent to "Now, where was
   I?" or used to end a conversational digression. See POP, POPJ.

RUDE (rood) [WPI] adj. 1. (of a program) Badly written.  2.
   Functionally poor, e.g. a program which is very difficult to use
   because of gratuitously poor (random?) design decisions.  See
   CUSPY.


			= S =

SACRED (say'kr@d) adj. Reserved for the exclusive use of something (a
   metaphorical extension of the standard meaning).  "Accumulator 7 is
   sacred to the UUO handler."  Often means that anyone may look at
   the sacred object, but clobbering it will screw whatever it is
   sacred to.

SADISTICS (s@'dis'tiks) n. University slang for statistics and
   probability theory, often used by hackers.

SAGA (saga) [WPI] n. A cuspy but bogus raving story dealing with N
   random broken people.

SAIL (sayl) n. Stanford University Artificial Intelligence Lab. An
   important site in the early development of LISP (with the MIT AI
   LAB, CMU and the UNIX community) one of the major founts of hacker
   culture traditions. The SAIL machines were shut down in late May
   1990, scant weeks after the MIT AI lab's ITS cluster went down
   for the last time.

SALT MINES (sahlt miens) n. Dense quarters housing large numbers of
   programmers working long hours on grungy projects, with some hope
   of seeing the end of the tunnel in x number of years.  Noted for
   their absence of sunshine. Compare PLAYPEN.

SANDBENDER (sand'ben-dr) [IBM] n. A person involved with silicon
   lithography and the physical design of chips. Compare IRONMONGER,
   POLYGON PUSHER.

SCIENCE-FICTION FANDOM (si'@ns fik'shn fan'dm) n. Another voluntary
   subculture having a very heavy overlap with hackerdom; almost all
   hackers read SF and/or fantasy fiction avidly, and many go to
   "cons" (SF conventions) or are involved in fandom-connected
   activities like the Society for Creative Anachronism. Some hacker
   slang originated in SF fandom; see DEFENESTRATION, GREAT-WALL,
   CYBERPUNK, H INFIX, HA HA ONLY SERIOUS, IMHO, MUNDANE, NEEP-NEEP,
   REAL SOON NOW, SNOG. Additionally, the jargon terms CYBERSPACE,
   GO FLATLINE, ICE, VIRUS, and WORM originated in SF itself.

SCRATCH (skrach) [from "scratchpad"] adj. A device or recording medium
   attached to a machine for testing purposes; one which can be
   SCRIBBLED on without loss. Usually in the combining forms SCRATCH
   MEMORY, SCRATCH DISK, SCRATCH TAPE, SCRATCH VOLUME. See SCRATCH
   MONKEY.

SCRATCH MONKEY (skrach muhn'kee) n. As in, "Before testing or
   reconfiguring, always mount a". Used in memory of Mabel, the
   Swimming Wonder Monkey who expired when a computer vendor PM'd a
   machine which was regulating the gas mixture that the monkey was
   breathing at the time. See Appendix A. A mantram used to advise
   caution when dealing with irreplacable data or devices. See
   SCRATCH.

SCREW (scroo) [MIT] n. A LOSE, usually in software. Especially used
   for user-visible misbehavior caused by a bug or misfeature.

SCREWAGE (scroo'@j) n. Like LOSSAGE (q.v.) but connotes that the
   failure is do to a designed-in misfeature rather than a simple
   inadequacy or mere bug.

SCROG (skrog) [Bell Labs] v. To damage, trash or corrupt a data
   structure. as in "the cblock got scrogged".  Also reported as
   SKROG, and ascribed to "The Wizard of Id" comix. Equivalent to
   SCRIBBLE or MANGLE, q.v.

SCROZZLE (skro'zl) v. Verb used when a self-modifying code segment
   runs incorrectly and corrupts the running program, or vital data.
   "The damn compiler scrozzled itself again!"

SCRIBBLE (skri'bl) n. To modify a data structure in a random and
   unintentionally destructive way. "Bletch! Somebody's disk-compactor
   program went berserk and scribbled on the i-node table." "It was
   working fine until one of the allocation routines scribbled on low
   core."  Synonymous with TRASH; compare MUNG, which conveys a bit
   more intention, and MANGLE, which is more violent and final.

SEARCH-AND-DESTROY MODE (serch-@nd-d@s-troy' mohd) n. Hackerism for
   the search-and-replace facility in an editor, so called because an
   incautiously chosen match pattern can cause INFINITE damage.

SECOND-SYSTEM SYNDROME (sek'@nd sis'tm sin'drohm) n. When designing
   the successor to a relatively small, elegant and successful system,
   there is a tendency to become grandiose in one's success and
   perpetrate an ELEPHANTINE feature-laden monstrosity. The term
   `second-system syndrome' was first used for this affliction in
   describing how the success of CTSS led to the debacle that was
   MULTICS.

SEGGIE (seg'ee) [UNIX] n. Reported from Britain as a shorthand for
   `segment violation', an attempted access to a protected memory area
   usually resulting in a CORE DUMP.

SELF-REFERENCE (self ref'@-rens) n. See SELF-REFERENCE.

SELVAGE (selv'@j) n. See CHAD (sense #1).

SEMI (se'mee) 1. n. Abbreviation for "semicolon", when speaking.
   "Commands to GRIND are prefixed by semi-semi-star" means that the
   prefix is ";;*", not 1/4 of a star.  2. Prefix with words such as
   "immediately", as a qualifier.  "When is the system coming up?"
   "Semi-immediately."

SERVER (ser'vr) n. A kind of DAEMON which performs a service for the
   requester, which often runs on a computer other than the one on
   which the server runs. A particularly common term on the Internet,
   which is rife with "name servers" "domain servers" "news servers"
   "finger servers" and the like.

SEX (seks) [Sun User's Group & elsewhere] n. 1.  Software EXchange. A
   technique invented by the blue-green algae hundereds of millions of
   years ago to speed up their evolution, which had been terribly slow
   up until then. Today, SEX parties are popular among hackers and
   others. 2. The rather Freudian mnemonic often used for Sign Extend,
   a machine instruction found in many architectures.

SHAREWARE (sheir'weir) n. FREEWARE for which the author requests some
   payment, usually in the accompanying documentation files or in an
   announcement made by the software itself. Such payment may or may
   not buy additional support or functionality. See GUILTWARE,
   CRIPPLEWARE.

SHELFWARE (shelf'weir) n. Software purchased on a whim (by an
   individual user) or in accordance with policy (by a corporation or
   government) but not actually required for any particular use.
   Therefore, it often ends up on some shelf.

SHELL (shel) [from UNIX, now used elsewhere] n. 1. On an operating
   system with a well-defined KERNEL (q.v.), the SHELL is the loadable
   command interpreter program used to pass commands to the kernel. A
   single kernel may support several shells with different interface
   styles.  2. More generally, any interface program which mediates
   access to a special resource or SERVER for convenience, efficiency
   or security reasons; for this meaning, the usage is usually A SHELL
   AROUND whatever.

SHIFT LEFT (RIGHT) LOGICAL (shift left (riet) lah'ji-kl) [from any of
   various machines' instruction sets] 1. v. To move oneself to the
   left (right).  To move out of the way.  2. imper. Get out of that
   (my) seat!  Usage: often used without the "logical", or as "left
   shift" instead of "shift left".  Sometimes heard as LSH (lish),
   from the PDP-10 instruction set.

SHRIEK (shreek) See EXCL.  Occasional CMU usage, also in common use
   among mathematicians, especially category theorists.

SIG (sig) or SIG BLOCK (sig blahk) [UNIX; often written ".sig" there]
   n. Short for "signature", used specifically to refer to the
   electronic signature block which most UNIX mail- and news-posting
   software will allow you to automatically append to outgoing mail
   and news. The composition of one's sig can be quite an art form,
   including an ASCII logo or one's choice of witty sayings; but many
   consider large sigs a waste of bandwidth, and it has been observed
   that the size of one's sig block is usually inversely proportional
   to one's longevity and level of prestige on THE NETWORK.

SILICON (sil'i-kon) n. Hardware, esp. ICs or microprocessor-based
   computer systems (compare IRON). Contrasted with software.

SILLY WALK (si'lee wahk) [from Monty Python] v. a ridiculous procedure
   required to accomplish a task. Like GROVEL, but more RANDOM and
   humorous. "I had to silly-walk through half the /usr directories to
   find the maps file."

SILO (sie'loh) n. The FIFO input-character buffer in an RS-232 line
   card. So called from DEC terminology used on DH and DZ line cards
   for the VAX and PDP-11.

SILVER BOOK, THE (sil'vr buk) n. Jensen & Wirth's infamous
   _Pascal_User_Manual_ and_Report_, so called because of the silver
   cover of the widely-distributed Springer-Verlag second edition of
   1978. See WHITE BOOK, PURPLE BOOK, ORANGE BOOK.

16-INCH ROTARY DEBUGGER (piz'uh) [Commodore] n.  Essential equipment
   for those late night or early morning debugging sessions.  Mainly
   used as sustenance for the hacker.  Comes in many decorator colours
   such as Sausage, Pepperoni, and Garbage.

SLEEP (sleep) [from the UNIX sleep(3)] On a timesharing system, a
   process which relinquishes its claim on the scheduler until some
   given event occurs or a specified time delay elapses is said to `go
   to sleep'.

SLOP (slop) n. 1. A one-sided fudge factor (q.v.).  Often introduced
   to avoid the possibility of a fencepost error (q.v.).  2. (used by
   compiler freaks) The ratio of code generated by a compiler to
   hand-compiled code, minus 1; i.e., the space (or maybe time) you
   lose because you didn't do it yourself.

SLOPSUCKER (slop'suhkr) n. a lowest-priority task that must wait
   around until everything else has "had its fill" of machine
   resources.  Only when the machine would otherwise be idle is the
   task allowed to "suck up the slop." Also called a HUNGRY PUPPY. One
   common variety of slopsucker hunts for large prime numbers. Compare
   BACKGROUND.

SLUGGY (sluh'gee) adj. Hackish variant of `sluggish'. Used only of
   people, esp.  someone just waking up after a long GRONK-OUT.

SLURP (slerp) v. To read a large data file entirely into core before
   working on it.  "This program slurps in a 1K-by-1K matrix and does
   an FFT."

SMART (smart) adj. Said of a program that does the RIGHT THING (q.v.)
   in a wide variety of complicated circumstances.  There is a
   difference between calling a program smart and calling it
   intelligent; in particular, there do not exist any intelligent
   programs (yet).  Compare ROBUST (smart programs can be BRITTLE).

SMASH THE STACK (smash dh@ stak) [C programming] n. On many C
   implementations it is possible to corrupt the execution stack by
   writing past the end of an array declared auto in a routine. Code
   that does this is said to `smash the stack', and can cause return
   from the routine to jump to a random text address. This can produce
   some of the most insidious data-dependent bugs known to mankind.
   Variants include `trash the stack', `SCRIBBLE ON the stack',
   `MANGLE the stack'; `*MUNG the stack' is not used as this is never
   done intentionally.  See ALIASING SCREW, FANDANGO ON CORE, MEMORY
   LEAK, PRECEDENCE SCREW, OVERRUN SCREW.

SMILEY (smie'lee) n. See EMOTICON.

SMOKE TEST (smohk test) n. 1. A rudimentary form of testing applied to
   electronic equipment following repair or reconfiguration in which
   AC power is applied and during which the tester checks for sparks,
   smoke, or other dramatic signs of fundamental failure. 2. By
   extension, the first run of a piece of software after construction
   or a critical change. See MAGIC SMOKE.

SMOKING CLOVER (smoh'king kloh'vr) n. A DISPLAY HACK originally due
   to Bill Gosper.  Many convergent lines are drawn on a color monitor
   in AOS mode (so that every pixel struck has its color incremented).
   The color map is then rotated.  The lines all have one endpoint in
   the middle of the screen; the other endpoints are spaced one pixel
   apart around the perimeter of a large square.  This results in a
   striking, rainbow-hued, shimmering four-leaf clover.  Gosper joked
   about keeping it hidden from the FDA lest it be banned.

SMOP (smop) [Simple (or Small) Matter of Programming] n. A piece of
   code, not yet written, whose anticipated length is significantly
   greater than its complexity.  Usage: used to refer to a program
   that could obviously be written, but is not worth the trouble.

SNAIL-MAIL (snayl-mayl) n. Paper mail, as opposed to electronic. See
   EMAIL.

SNARF (snarf) v. 1. To grab, esp. a large document or file for the
   purpose of using it either with or without the author's permission.
   See BLT.  Variant: SNARF (IT) DOWN.  (At MIT on ITS, DDT has a
   command called :SNARF which grabs a job from another (inferior)
   DDT.) 2. [in the UNIX community] to fetch a file or set of files
   across a network.  See also BLAST.

SNARF & BARF (snarf-n-barf) n. The act of grabbing a region of text
   using a WIMP (q.v.) environment (Window, Icon, Mouse, Pointer) and
   then "stuffing" the contents of that region into another region or
   into the same region, to avoid re-typing a command line.

SNEAKERNET (snee'ker-net) n. Term used (generally with ironic intent)
   for transfer of electronic information by physically carrying tape,
   disks, or some other media from one machine to another.  "Never
   underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon filled with magtape,
   or a 747 filled with CD-ROMs"

SNIFF (snif) v.,n. Synonym for POLL.

SNOG (snog) [from old-time science-fiction fandom] v.i. Equivalent to
   mainstream "make out" describing sexual activity, especially
   exploratory. Most often encountered as participle SNOGGING. "Oh,
   they're off snogging somewhere."

S.O. (ess-oh) n. Acronym for Significant Other, almost invariably
   written abbreviated and pronounced "ess-oh" by hackers. In fact the
   form without periods "SO" is most common. Used to refer to one's
   primary relationship, esp. a live-in to whom one is not married.
   See MOTAS, MOTOS, MOTSS.

SOFTWARE ROT (soft'weir raht) n. Hypothetical disease the existence
   of which has been deduced from the observation that unused programs
   or features will stop working after sufficient time has passed,
   even if "nothing has changed".  Also known as BIT DECAY, BIT ROT.
   Occasionally this turns out to be a real problem due to media
   failure.

SOFTWARILY (soft-weir'i-lee) adv. In a way pertaining to software.
   "The system is softwarily unreliable."  The adjective "softwary" is
   NOT used.  See HARDWARILY.

SOME RANDOM X (suhm randm eks) adj. Used to indicate a member of
   class X, with the implication that the particular X is
   interchangeable with most other Xs in whatever context was being
   discussed. "I think some random cracker tripped over the guest
   timeout last night"

SORCEROR'S APPRENTICE MODE (sor'ser'ers @-pren'tis mohd) n. A bug in
   a protocol where, under some circumstances, the receipt of a
   message causes more than one message to be sent, each of which,
   when received, triggers the same bug. Used esp. of such behavior
   caused by BOUNCE MESSAGE loops in EMAIL software. Compare BROADCAST
   STORM.

SPACEWAR (spays'wohr) n. A space-combat simulation game first
   implemented on the PDP-1 at MIT in 1960-61. SPACEWAR aficionados
   formed the core of the early hacker culture at MIT. Ten years later
   a descendent of the game motivated Ken Thompson to invent UNIX
   (q.v.). Ten years after that, SPACEWAR was commercialized as one of
   the first video games; descendants are still feeping in video
   arcades everywhere.

SPAGHETTI CODE (sp@-get'ee kohd) n. Describes code with a complex and
   tangled control structure, esp. one using many GOTOs, exceptions or
   other `unstructured' branching constructs. Pejorative.

SPAGHETTI INHERITANCE (sp@-get'ee in-her'i-t@ns) n. [Encountered among
   users of object-oriented languages that use inheritance, such as
   Smalltalk] A convoluted class-subclass graph, often resulting from
   carelessly deriving subclasses from other classes just for the sake
   of reusing their code.  Coined in a (successful) attempt to
   discourage such practice, through guilt by association with
   SPAGHETTI CODE.

SPIFFY (spi'fee) adj. 1. Said of programs having a pretty, clever or
   exceptionally well-designed interface. "Have you seen the spiffy X
   version of EMPIRE yet?" 2. Said sarcastically of programs which are
   perceived to have little more than a flashy interface going for
   them. Which meaning should be drawn depends delicately on tone of
   voice and context.

SPIN (spin) v. Equivalent to BUZZ (q.v.). More common among C and UNIX
   programmers.

SPLAT (splat) n. 1. Name used in many places (DEC, IBM, and others)
   for the ASCII star ("*") character.  2. [MIT] Name used by some
   people for the ASCII pound-sign ("#") character.  3. [Stanford]
   Name used by some people for the Stanford/ITS extended ASCII
   circle-x character.  (This character is also called "circle-x",
   "blobby", and "frob", among other names.)  4. [Stanford] Name for
   the semi-mythical extended ASCII circle-plus character.  5.
   Canonical name for an output routine that outputs whatever the the
   local interpretation of splat is.  Usage: nobody really agrees what
   character "splat" is, but the term is common.

SPOOGE (spooj) 1. n. inexplicable or arcane code, or random and
   probably incorrect output from a computer program 2. v. to generate
   code or output as in definition 1.

STACK (stak) n. See PDL. The STACK usage is probably more common
   outside universities.

STATE (stayt) n. Condition, situation.  "What's the state of NEWIO?"
   "It's winning away."  "What's your state?"  "I'm about to gronk
   out."  As a special case, "What's the state of the world?" (or,
   more silly, "State-of-world-P?") means "What's new?" or "What's
   going on?"

STIR-FRIED RANDOM (ster-fried ran'dm) alt. STIR-FRIED MUMBLE
   (ster-fried mum'bl) n. Term used for frequent best dish of those
   hackers who can cook. Conists of random fresh veggies and meat
   wokked with random spices. Tasty and economical.  See RANDOM,
   GREAT-WALL, CHINESE RAVS, ORIENTAL FOOD.

STOMP ON (stomp on) v.  To inadvertently overwrite something
   important, usually automatically.  Example: "All the work I did
   this weekend got stomped on last night by the nightly-server
   script." Compare SCRIBBLE, MANGLE, TRASH, SCROG, ROACH.

STOPPAGE (sto'p@j) n. Extreme lossage (see LOSSAGE) resulting in
   something (usually vital) becoming completely unusable.

STUNNING (stuhn'ning) adj. Mind-bogglingly stupid. Usually used in
   sarcasm. "You want to code *what* in ADA? That's...a stunning
   idea!" See also NON-OPTIMAL SOLUTION.

SUBSHELL (suhb'shel) [UNIX, MS-DOS] n. An OS command interpreter (see
   SHELL) spawned from within a program, such that exit from the
   command interpreter returns one to the parent program in a state
   that allows it to continue execution. Oppose CHAIN.

SUIT (soot) n. 1. Ugly and uncomfortable `business clothing' often
   worn by non-hackers. Invariably worn with a `tie', a strangulation
   device which partially cuts off the blood supply to the brain. It
   is thought that this explains much about the behavior of suit-
   wearers. 2. A person who habitually wears suits, as distinct from a
   techie or hacker. See LOSER, BURBLE and BRAIN-DAMAGED.

SUPERPROGRAMMER (soo`per-pro'gra-mr) n. See WIZARD, HACKER, GURU.
   Usage: rare.  (Becoming more common among IBM and Yourdon types.)

SUZIE COBOL (soo'zee koh'bol) 1. [IBM, prob. fr. Frank Zappa's
   "little Suzy Creamcheese"] n. A coder straight out of training
   school who knows everything except the benefits of comments in
   plain English.  Also (fashionable among personkind wishing to avoid
   accusations of sexism) `Sammy Cobol' 2. [generalization proposed by
   ESR] Meta-name for any CODE GRINDER, analogous to J. RANDOM HACKER.

SWAB (swob) [From the PDP-11 "byte swap" instruction] 1. v. to solve
   the NUXI PROBLEM by swapping bytes in a file. 2. Also, the program
   in V7 UNIX used to perform this action. See also BIG-ENDIAN,
   LITTLE-ENDIAN, BYTESEXUAL.

SWAPPED (swopt) adj. From the use of secondary storage devices to
   implement virtual memory in computer systems.  Something which is
   SWAPPED IN is available for immediate use in main memory, and
   otherwise is SWAPPED OUT.  Often used metaphorically to refer to
   people's memories ("I read TECO ORDER every few months to keep the
   information swapped in.") or to their own availability ("I'll swap
   you in as soon as I finish looking at this other problem.").
   Compare PAGE IN, PAGE OUT.

SWIZZLE (swi'zl) v. To convert external names or references within a
   data structure into direct pointers when the data structure is
   brought into main memory from external storage; also called POINTER
   SWIZZLING; the converse operation is sometimes termed UNSWIZZLING.

SYNC (sink) [from UNIX] n.,v. 1. To force all pending I/O to the disk.
   2. More generally, to force a number of competing processes or
   agents to a state that would be `safe' if the system were to crash;
   thus, to checkpoint. See FLUSH.

SYNTACTIC SUGAR (sin-tak'tik shu'gr) n. Features added to a language
   or formalism to make it `sweeter' for humans, that do not affect
   the expressiveness of the formalism (compare CHROME). Used esp.
   when there is an obvious and trivial translation of the `sugar'
   feature into other constructs already present in the notation.
   Example: the \n, \t, \r, and \b escapes in C strings, which could
   be expressed as octal escapes.

SYSTEM (sis'tem) n. 1. The supervisor program on the computer.  2. Any
   large-scale program.  3. Any method or algorithm.  4. The way
   things are usually done.  Usage: a fairly ambiguous word.  "You
   can't beat the system."  SYSTEM HACKER: one who hacks the system
   (in sense 1 only; for sense 2 one mentions the particular program:
   e.g., LISP HACKER)

			= T =

T (tee) 1. [from LISP terminology for "true"] Yes.  Usage: used in
   reply to a question, particularly one asked using the "-P"
   convention).  See NIL.  2. See TIME T. 3. In transaction-processing
   circles, an abbreviation for the noun "transaction".

TALK MODE n. The state a terminal is in when linked to another via a
   bidirectional character pipe to support on-line dialogue between
   two or more users.  Talk mode has a special set of jargon words,
   used to save typing, which are not used orally:

	BCNU	Be seeing you.
	BTW	By the way...
	BYE?	Are you ready to unlink?  (This is the standard way to
		end a com mode conversation; the other person types
		BYE to confirm, or else continues the conversation.)
	CUL	See you later.
	FOO?	A greeting, also meaning R U THERE?  Often used in the
		case of unexpected links, meaning also "Sorry if I
		butted in" (linker) or "What's up?" (linkee).
	FYI	For your information...
	GA	Go ahead (used when two people have tried to type
		simultaneously; this cedes the right to type to
		the other).
	HELLOP	A greeting, also meaning R U THERE?  (An instance
		of the "-P" convention.)
	NIL	No (see the main entry for NIL).
	OBTW	Oh, by the way...
	R U THERE?	Are you there?
	SEC	Wait a second (sometimes written SEC...).
	T	Yes (see the main entry for T).
	TNX	Thanks.
	TNX 1.0E6	Thanks a million (humorous).
	WTH	What the hell
	<double CRLF>  When the typing party has finished, he types
		two CRLFs to signal that he is done; this leaves a
		blank line between individual "speeches" in the
		conversation, making it easier to re-read the
		preceding text.
	<name>:	When three or more terminals are linked, each speech
		is preceded by the typist's login name and a colon (or
		a hyphen) to indicate who is typing.  The login name
		often is shortened to a unique prefix (possibly a
		single letter) during a very long conversation.

   Most of the above "sub-jargon" is used at both Stanford and MIT. A
   few other abbrevs have been reported from commercial networks such
   as GEnie and Compuserve where on-line `live' chat including more
   than two people is common and usually involves a more `social'
   context, notably

	<g>	grin
	BRB	be right back
	HHOJ	ha ha only joking
	HHOS	HA HA ONLY SERIOUS
	LOL	laughing out load
	ROTF	rolling on the floor
	AFK	away from keyboard
	b4	before
	CU l8tr	see you later
	MORF	Male or Female?
	TTFN	ta-ta for now
	OIC	Oh, I see
	rehi	hello again

   These are not used at universities; conversely, most of the people
   who know these are unfamiliar with FOO?, BCNU, HELLOP, NIL, and T.

TANKED (tankt) adj. Same as DOWN, used primarily by UNIX hackers. See
   also HOSED. Popularized as a synonym for "drunk" by Steve Dallas in
   the late lamented "Bloom County" comix.

TASTE (tayst) n. [primarily MIT-DMS] The quality in programs which
   tends to be inversely proportional to the number of features,
   hacks, and kluges programmed into it.  Also, TASTY, TASTEFUL,
   TASTEFULNESS.  "This feature comes in N tasty flavors."  Although
   TASTEFUL and FLAVORFUL are essentially synonyms, TASTE and FLAVOR
   are not.

TCB (tee see bee) [IBM] Trouble Came Back. Intermittent or difficult-to
   reproduce problem which has failed to respond to neglect. Compare
   HEISENBUG.

TELNET (telnet) v. To communicate with another ARPAnet host using the
   TELNET program.  TOPS-10 people use the word IMPCOM since that is
   the program name for them.  Sometimes abbreviated to TN.  "I
   usually TN over to SAIL just to read the AP News."

TENSE (tens) adj. Of programs, very clever and efficient.  A tense
   piece of code often got that way because it was highly bummed, but
   sometimes it was just based on a great idea.  A comment in a clever
   display routine by Mike Kazar: "This routine is so tense it will
   bring tears to your eyes.  Much thanks to Craig Everhart and James
   Gosling for inspiring this hack attack."  A tense programmer is one
   who produces tense code.

TERAFLOP CLUB (ter'a-flop kluhb) n. Mythical group of people who
   consume outragous amounts of computer time in order to produce a
   few simple pictures of glass balls with intricate ray tracing
   techniques.  Cal Tech professor James Kajiya is said to be the
   founding member.

TERMINAK (ter'mi-nak) [Caltech, ca. 1979] n. Any malfunctioning
   computer terminal. A common failure mode of Lear-Siegler ADM3a
   terminals caused the "L" key to produce the "K" code instead;
   complaints about this tended to look like "Terminak #3 has a bad
   keyboard.  Pkease fix."

TERMINAL ILLNESS (ter'mi-nl il'nes) n. 1. Syn. with RASTER BURN.
   2. The `burn-in' condition your CRT tends to get if you don't
   have a screen saver.

TERPRI (ter'pree) [from the LISP 1.5 (and later, MacLISP) function to
   start a new line of output] v. To output a CRLF (q.v.).

THANKS IN ADVANCE [USENET] Conventional net.politeness ending a posted
   request for information or assistance. Sometimes written
   "advTHANKSance". See "NET.", NETIQUETTE.

THEOLOGY (thee-o'l@-gee) n. 1. Ironically used to refer to RELIGIOUS
   ISSUES.  2. Technical fine points of an abstruse nature, esp. those
   where the resolution is of theoretical interest but relatively
   MARGINAL with respect to actual use of a design or system. Used
   esp. around software issues with a heavy AI or language design
   component.  Example: the deep- vs. shallow-binding debate in the
   design of dynamically-scoped LISPS.

THEORY (theer'ee) n. Used in the general sense of idea, plan, story,
   or set of rules.  "What's the theory on fixing this TECO loss?"
   "What's the theory on dinner tonight?"  ("Chinatown, I guess.")
   "What's the current theory on letting lusers on during the day?"
   "The theory behind this change is to fix the following well-known
   screw..."

THINKO (thin'ko) [by analogy with `typo'] n. A bubble in the stream of
   consciousness; a momentary, correctable glitch in mental
   processing, especially one involving recall of information learned
   by rote. Compare MOUSO.

THRASH (thrash) v. To move wildly or violently, without accomplishing
   anything useful.  Swapping systems which are overloaded waste most
   of their time moving pages into and out of core (rather than
   performing useful computation), and are therefore said to thrash.

TICK (tick) n. 1. Interval of time; basic clock time on the computer.
   Typically 1/60 second.  See JIFFY.  2. In simulations, the discrete
   unit of time that passes "between" iterations of the simulation
   mechanism.  In AI applications, this amount of time is often left
   unspecified, since the only constraint of interest is that caused
   things happen after their causes.  This sort of AI simulation is
   often pejoratively referred to as "tick-tick-tick" simulation,
   especially when the issue of simultaneity of events with long,
   independent chains of causes is handwaved.

TIME T (tiem tee) n. 1. An unspecified but usually well-understood
   time, often used in conjunction with a later time T+1.  "We'll meet
   on campus at time T or at Louie's at time T+1."  2. SINCE (OR AT)
   TIME T EQUALS MINUS INFINITY: A long time ago; for as long as
   anyone can remember; at the time that some particular frob was
   first designed.

TIP OF THE ICE-CUBE (tip uhv dh@ ies-kyoob) [IBM] n. The visible part
   of something small and insignificant. Used as an ironic comment
   in situations where "tip of the iceberg" might be appropriate if
   the subject were actually nontrivial.

TIRED IRON (tierd iern) [IBM] n. Hardware that is perfectly functional
   but enough behind the state of the art to have been superseded by
   new products, presumably with enough improvement in bang-per-buck
   that the old stuff is starting to look a bit like a DINOSAUR. 

TLA (tee el ay) [Three-Letter-Acronym] n. 1. Self-describing acronym
   for a species with which computing terminology is infested. 2. Any
   confusing acronym at all.  Examples include MCA, FTP, SNA, CPU,
   MMU, SCCS, DMU, FPU, TLA, NNTP.  People who like this looser usage
   argue that not all TLAs have three letters, just as not all four
   letter words have four letters.

TOAST (tohst) 1. n. any completely inoperable system, esp. one that
   has just crashed;"I think BUACCA is toast." 2. v. to cause a system
   to crash accidentally, especially in a manner that requires manual
   rebooting; "Rick just toasted harp again."

TOASTER (tohs'tr) n. 1. The archetypal really stupid application for
   an embedded microprocessor controller esp. `toaster oven'; often
   used in comments which imply that a scheme is inappropriate
   technology. "DWIM for an assembler?  That'd be as silly as running
   UNIX on your toaster!" 2.  A very very dumb computer. "You could
   run this program on any dumb toaster". See BITTY BOX, TOASTER, TOY.

TOOL (tool) 1. n. A program primarily used to create other programs,
   such as a compiler or editor or cross-referencing program. Oppose
   APP, OPERATING SYSTEM. 2. [UNIX] An application program with a
   simple, "transparent" (typically text-stream) designed specifically
   to be used in programmed combination with other tools (see FILTER).
   3. [MIT] v.i. To work; to study.  See HACK (def #9).

TOPS-10 (tops-ten) n. DEC's proprietary OS for the fabled PDP-10
   machines, long a favorite of hackers but now effectively extinct. A
   fountain of hacker folklore; see Appendix B. See also ITS, TOPS-20,
   TWENEX, VMS, OPERATING SYSTEM.

TOPS-20 (tops-twen'tee) n. See TWENEX.

TOURIST (too'rist) [from MIT's ITS system] n. A guest on the system,
   especially one who generally logs in over a network from a remote
   location for games and other trivial purposes. One step below
   LUSER. TOURISTIC is often used as a pejorative, as in "losing
   touristic scum".

TOY (toy) n. A computer system; always used with qualifiers. 1. NICE
   TOY One which supports the speaker's hacking style adequately. 2.
   JUST A TOY A machine that yields insufficient COMPUTRONS for the
   speaker's preferred uses (this is not condemnatory as is BITTY BOX,
   toys can at least be fun). See also GET A REAL COMPUTER, BITTY BOX.

TOY PROBLEM (toy pro'blm) [AI] n. A deliberately simplified or even
   oversimplified case of a challenging problem used to investigate,
   prototype, or test algorithms for the real problem. Sometimes used
   pejoratively.  See also GEDANKEN.

TRAP (trap) 1. n. A program interrupt, usually used specifically to
   refer to an interrupt caused by some illegal action taking place in
   the user program.  In most cases the system monitor performs some
   action related to the nature of the illegality, then returns
   control to the program.  See UUO.  2. v. To cause a trap.  "These
   instructions trap to the monitor."  Also used transitively to
   indicate the cause of the trap.  "The monitor traps all
   input/output instructions."

TRASH (trash) v. To destroy the contents of (said of a data
   structure). The most common of the family of near-synonyms
   including MUNG, MANGLE and SCRIBBLE.

TRIVIAL (tri'vi-@l) adj. 1. In explanation, too simple to bother
   detailing. 2. Not worth the speaker's time. 3. Complex, but
   solvable by methods so well-known that anyone not utterly CRETINOUS
   would have thought of them already. Hackers' notions of triviality
   may be quite at variance with those of non-hackers. See NONTRIVIAL,
   UNINTERESTING.

TROGLODYTE (trog'lo-diet) [Commodore] n. A hacker who never leaves his
   cubicle.  The term `Gnoll' is also reported.

TROGLODYTE MODE (trog'lo-diet mohd) [Rice University] n. Programming
   with the lights turned off, sunglasses on, and the (character)
   terminal inverted (black on white) because you've been up for so
   many days straight that your eyes hurt. Loud music blaring from a
   stereo stacked in the corner is optional but recommended. See
   LARVAL STAGE, MODE.

TROJAN HORSE (troh'jn hors) n. A program designed to break security or
   damage a system that is disguised as something else benign, such as
   a directory lister or archiver. See VIRUS, WORM.

TRUE-HACKER (troo-hak'r) [analogy with "trufan" from SF fandom] n.
   One who exemplifies the primary values of hacker culture, esp.
   competence and helpfulness to other hackers. A high complement. "He
   spent six hours helping me bring up UUCP and netnews on my FOOBAR
   4000 last week -- truly the act of a true-hacker." Compare DEMIGOD,
   oppose MUNCHKIN.

TTY (tee-tee-wie [UNIX], titty [ITS]) n. 1. Terminal of the teletype
   variety, characterized by a noisy mechanical printer, a very
   limited character set, and poor print quality.  Usage: antiquated
   (like the TTYs themselves).  2. [especially UNIX] Any terminal at
   all; sometimes used to refer to the particular terminal controlling
   a job.

TUBE (t[y]oob) n. A CRT terminal. Never used in the mainstream sense of
   TV; real hackers don't watch TV, except for Loony Toons and
   Bullwinkle & Rocky and the occasional cheesy old swashbuckle movie.

TUNE (toon) [from automotive or musical usage] v. to optimize a
   program or system for a particular environment. One may `tune for
   time' (fastest execution) `tune for space' (least memory
   utilization) or `tune for configuration' (most efficient use of
   hardware). See BUM, HOT SPOT, HAND-HACK.

TWEAK (tweek) v. To change slightly, usually in reference to a value.
   Also used synonymously with TWIDDLE.  See FROBNICATE and FUDGE
   FACTOR.

TWENEX (twe'nex) n. The TOPS-20 operating system by DEC.  So named
   because TOPS-10 was a typically crufty DEC operating system for the
   PDP-10.  BBN developed their own system, called TENEX (TEN
   EXecutive), and in creating TOPS-20 for the DEC-20 DEC copied TENEX
   and adapted it for the 20.  Usage: DEC people cringe when they hear
   TOPS-20 referred to as "Twenex", but the term seems to be catching
   on nevertheless.  Release 3 of TOPS-20 is sufficiently different
   from release 1 that some (not all) hackers have stopped calling it
   TWENEX, though the written abbreviation "20x" is still used.

TWIDDLE (twid'l) n. 1. tilde (ASCII 176, "~").  Also called
   "squiggle", "sqiggle" (sic--pronounced "skig'gul"), and "twaddle",
   but twiddle is by far the most common term.  2. A small and
   insignificant change to a program.  Usually fixes one bug and
   generates several new ones.  3. v. To change something in a small
   way.  Bits, for example, are often twiddled.  Twiddling a switch or
   knob implies much less sense of purpose than toggling or tweaking
   it; see FROBNICATE.

TWINK (twink) [UCSC] n. Equivalent to READ-ONLY USER.

TWO-PI (too-pie, should be written with math symbols) q. The number of
   years it takes to finish one's thesis.  Occurs in stories in the
   form: "He started on his thesis; two pi years later...".

			= U =

UNINTERESTING (un-in'ter-est-ing) adj. 1. Said of a problem which,
   while NONTRIVIAL, can be solved simply by throwing sufficient
   resources at it. 2. Also said of problems for which a solution
   would neither advance the state of the art nor be fun to design and
   code. True hackers regard uninteresting problems as an intolerable
   waste of time, to be solved (if at all) by lesser mortals. See
   WOMBAT.

U*IX, UN*X n. Used to refer to the Unix operating system
   (trademark and/or copyright AT&T) in writing, but avoiding the need
   for the ugly (tm) typography.  Also used to refer to any or all
   varieties of Unixoid operating systems. Ironically, some lawyers
   now claim (1990) that the requirement for superscript-tm has no
   legal force, but yje asterisk usage is entrenched anyhow.

UNWIND THE STACK (un-wiend' thuh stack) v. During the execution of a
   procedural language one is said to `unwind the stack' from a called
   procedure up to a caller when one discards the stack frame and any
   number of frames above it, popping back up to the level of the
   given caller.  In C this is done with longjmp/setjmp; in LISP with
   THROW/CATCH.  This is sometimes necessary when handling exceptional
   conditions.  See also SMASH THE STACK.

UNWIND-PROTECT (un-wiend'pr@-tekt) [MIT, from the name of a LISP
   operator] n. A task you must remember to perform before you leave a
   place or finish a project.  "I have an unwind-protect to call my
   advisor."

UNIX (yoo'nix) [In the authors' words, "A weak pun on MULTICS"] n. A
   popular interactive time-sharing system originally invented in 1969
   by Ken Thompson after Bell Labs left the MULTICS project, mostly so
   he could play SPACEWAR on a scavenged PDP7. The turning point in
   UNIX's history came when it was reimplemented almost entirely in C
   in 1974, making it the first source-portable operating system.
   Fifteen years and a lot of changes later UNIX is the most widely
   used multiuser general-purpose operating system in the world. This
   fact probably represents the single most important victory yet of
   hackerdom over industry opposition. See VERSION 7, BSD UNIX, USG
   UNIX.

UP (uhp) adj. 1. Working, in order.  "The down escalator is up."  2.
   BRING UP: v. To create a working version and start it.  "They
   brought up a down system."

UPLOAD [uhp'lohd] v. 1. To transfer code or data over a digital comm
   line from a smaller `client' system to a larger `host' one. Oppose
   DOWNLOAD. 2.  [speculatively] To move the essential patterns and
   algorithms which make up one's mind from one's brain into a
   computer.  Only those who are convinced that such patterns and
   algorithms capture the complete essence of the self view this
   prospect with aplomb.

URCHIN (er'chin) n. See MUNCHKIN.

USENET (yooz'net) n. A distributed bulletin board system supported
   mainly by UNIX machines, international in scope and probably the
   largest non-profit information utility in existence. As of early
   1990 it hosts over 300 topic groups and distributes up to 15
   megabytes of new technical articles, news, discussion, chatter, and
   FLAMAGE every day. See NEWSGROUP.

USER (yoo'zr) n. A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.
   One who asks questions.  Identified at MIT with "loser" by the
   spelling "luser".  See REAL USER.  [Note by GLS: I don't agree with
   RF's definition at all.  Basically, there are two classes of people
   who work with a program: there are implementors (hackers) and users
   (losers).  The users are looked down on by hackers to a mild degree
   because they don't understand the full ramifications of the system
   in all its glory.  (A few users who do are known as real winners.)
   It is true that users ask questions (of necessity).  Very often
   they are annoying or downright stupid.]

USER FRIENDLY (yoo'zr fren'dlee) adj. Programmer-hostile. Generally
   used by hackers in a hostile tone, to describe systems which hold
   the user's hand so obsessively that they make it painful for the
   more experienced and knowledgeable to get any work done. See
   MENUITIS.

USG UNIX (yoo-ess-jee yoo'nix) n. Refers to AT&T UNIX versions after
   VERSION 7, especially System III and System V releases 1, 2 and 3.
   So called because at that time AT&T's support crew was called the
   `Unix Support Group' See BSD, UNIX

			= V =

VADDING (vad'ing) [permutation of ADV, an abbreviated form of ADVENT
   (q.v.)] n. A leisure-time activity of certain hackers involving the
   covert exploration of the "secret" parts of large buildings --
   basements, roofs, freight elevators, maintenance crawlways, steam
   tunnels and the like. A few go so far as to learn locksmithing in
   order to synthesize vadding keys. The verb is `to vad'. The most
   extreme and dangerous form of vadding is ELEVATOR RODEO, aka
   ELEVATOR SURFING, a sport played by using the escape hatches in
   elevator cars to move between pairs of them as they conjunct within
   the shafts. Kids, don't try this at home!

VANILLA (v@-nil'luh) adj. Ordinary flavor, standard.  See FLAVOR.
   When used of food, very often does not mean that the food is
   flavored with vanilla extract!  For example, "vanilla-flavored
   wonton soup" (or simply "vanilla wonton soup") means ordinary
   wonton soup, as opposed to hot and sour wonton soup.

VAPORWARE (vay-per-weir) n. Products announced far in advance of any
   shipment (which may or may not actually take place).

VAR (veir) n. Short for "variable". Compare ARG, PARAM.

VAX n. (vaks) [allegedly from Virtual Extended Architecture] 1. The
   most successful minicomputer design in industry history, possibly
   excepting its immediate ancestor the PDP-11. Between its release
   in 1978 and eclipse by KILLER MICROS after about 1986 the VAX was
   probably the favorite hacker machine of them all, esp. after the
   1982 release of 4.2BSD UNIX (see BSD UNIX). Esp. noted for its
   large, assembler-programmer-friendly instruction set, an asset
   which became a liability after the RISC revolution following about
   1985. 2. A major brand of vacuum cleaner in Britain. Cited here
   because its sales pitch, "Nothing sucks like a VAX!" became a
   sort of battle-cry of RISC partisans.

VAXEN (vak'sn) [from "oxen", perhaps influenced by "vixen"] n. pl.
   The plural of VAX (a DEC machine). See BOXEN.

VEEBLEFESTER (vee'b@l-fes-tr) [Commodore] n.  Any obnoxious person
   engaged in the alleged professions of marketing or management.
   Antonym of HACKER. Compare SUIT, MARKETROID.

VENUS FLYTRAP (vee'n:s flie'trap) [after the plant] n. See FIREWALL.

VERBIAGE (ver'bee-@j) [IBM] n. Documentation.

VERSION 7 (ver'zh@n se'vn) alt. V7 (vee-se'v@n) n. The 1978
   unsupported release of UNIX (q.v.) ancestral to all current
   commercial versions. Before the release of the POSIX/SVID standards
   V7's features were often treated as a UNIX portability baseline.
   See BSD, USG UNIX, UNIX.

VIRGIN (ver'jn) adj. Unused, in reference to an instantiation of a
   program.  "Let's bring up a virgin system and see if it crashes
   again."  Also, by extension, unused buffers and the like within a
   program.

VIRUS (vie'r@s) [from SF] n. A cracker program that propagates itself
   by `infecting' (embedding itself in) other trusted programs,
   especially operating systems. See WORM, TROJAN HORSE.

VMS (vee em ess) n. DEC's proprietary operating system for their VAX
   minicomputer; one of the seven or so environments that looms
   largest in hacker folklore.  Many UNIX fans generously concede that
   VMS would probably be the hacker's favorite commercial OS if UNIX
   didn't exist; though true, this makes VMS fans furious. See also
   TOPS-10, TOPS-20, UNIX.

VIRTUAL (ver'tyoo-uhl) adj. 1. Common alternative to LOGICAL (q.v.),
   but never used with compass directions.  2.  Performing the
   functions of.  Virtual memory acts like real memory but isn't.

VIRTUAL REALITY (ver'tyoo-@l) n. A form of network interaction
   incorporating aspects of role-playing games, interactive theater,
   improvisational comedy and "true confessions" magazines. In a
   "virtual reality" forum (such as USENET's alt.callahans newsgroup
   or the MUD experiments on Internet) interaction between the
   participants is written like a shared novel complete with scenery,
   "foreground characters" which may be personae utterly unlike the
   people who write them, and common "background characters"
   manipulable by all parties. The one iron law is that you may not
   write irreversible changes to a character without the consent of
   the person who "owns" it.  Otherwise anything goes. See BAMF.

VISIONARY (viz-yuhn-eir-ee) n. One who hacks vision (in an AI context,
   such as the processing of visual images).

VULCAN NERVE PINCH (vuhl'kn nerv pinch) n. [From the old Star Trek TV
   series via Commodore Amiga hackers] The keyboard combination that
   forces a soft-boot or jump to ROM monitor (on machines that support
   such a feature).

			= W =

WABBIT (wabb'it) [almost certainly from Elmer Fudd's immortal line "you
   wascal wabbit!"] n. 1. A legendary early hack reported on the
   PDP-10s at RPI and elsewhere around 1978. The program would
   reproduce itself twice every time it was run, eventually crashing
   the system.  2. By extension, any hack that includes infinite
   self-replication but is not a VIRUS or WORM. See also COOKIE
   MONSTER.

WALDO (wahl'doh) [probably taken from the story "Waldo", by Heinlein,
   which is where the term was first used to mean a mechanical adjunct
   to a human limb] Used at Harvard, particularly by Tom Cheatham and
   students, instead of FOOBAR as a meta-syntactic variable and
   general nonsense word.  See FOO, BAR, FOOBAR, QUUX.

WALKING DRIVES (wahk'ing drievz) An occasional failure mode of
   magnetic-disk drives back in the days when they were 14" wide
   WASHING MACHINES. Those old DINOSAURS carried terrific angular
   momentum; the combination of a misaligned spindle or worn bearings
   and stick-slip interactions with the floor could cause them to
   "walk" across a room, lurching alternate corners forward a couple
   of millimeters at a time. This could also be induced by certain
   patterns of drive access (a fast seek across the whole width of the
   disk, followed by a slow seek in the other direction). It is known
   that some bands of old-time hackers figured out how to induce
   disk-accessing patterns that would do this to particular drive
   models and held disk-drive races.  This is not a joke!

WALL (wahl) [shortened form of HELLO WALL, apparently from the phrase
   "up against a blank wall"] [WPI] interj. 1. An indication of
   confusion, usually spoken with a quizzical tone.  "Wall??"  2. A
   request for further explication. Compare OCTAL FORTY.

WALL TIME (wahl tiem) n. 1. `Real world' time (what the clock on the
   wall shows) as opposed to the system clock's idea of time. 2. The
   real running time of a program, as opposed to the number of CLOCKS
   required to execute it (on a timesharing system these will differ,
   as no one program gets all the CLOCKS).

WALLPAPER (wahl pay'pr) n. A file containing a listing (e.g.,
   assembly listing) or transcript, esp. a file containing a
   transcript of all or part of a login session.  (The idea was that
   the LPT paper for such listings was essentially good only for
   wallpaper, as evidenced at SAIL where it was used as such to cover
   windows.)  Usage: not often used now, esp. since other systems have
   developed other terms for it (e.g., PHOTO on TWENEX).  The term
   possibly originated on ITS, where the commands to begin and end
   transcript files were :WALBEG and :WALEND, with default file
   DSK:WALL PAPER.

WASHING MACHINE (wash'ing m@-sheen') n. Old-style hard disks in
   floor-standing cabinets. So called because of the size of the
   cabinet and the "top-loading" access to the media packs. See
   WALKING DRIVES.

WEDGED (wejd) [from "head wedged up ass"] adj. 1. To be in a locked
   state, incapable of proceeding without help.  (See GRONK.)  Often
   refers to humans suffering misconceptions.  "The swapper is
   wedged."  This term is sometimes used as a synonym for DEADLOCKED
   (q.v.).  2. [UNIX] Specifically used to describe the state of a TTY
   left in a losing state by abort of a screen-oriented program or one
   that has messed with the line discipline in some obscure way.

WEEDS (weeds) n. Refers to development projects or algorithms that
   have no possible relevance or practical application.  Comes from
   "off in the weeds".  Used in phrases like "lexical analysis for
   microcode is serious weeds..."

WELL BEHAVED (wel-bee-hayvd') adj. Of software: conforming to coding
   guidelines and standards.  Well behaved software uses the operating
   system to do chores such as keyboard input, allocating memory and
   drawing graphics. Oppose ILL-BEHAVED.

WETWARE (wet'weir) n. 1. The human brain, as opposed to computer
   hardware or software (as in "Wetware has at most 7 registers"). 2.
   Human beings (programmers, operators, administrators) attached to a
   computer system, as opposed to the system's hardware or software.

WHAT (hwuht) n. The question mark character ("?").  See QUES.  Usage:
   rare, used particularly in conjunction with WOW.

WHEEL (hweel) [from Twenex, q.v.] n. A privileged user or WIZARD
   (sense #2).  Now spreading into the UNIX culture. Privilege bits
   are sometimes called WHEEL BITS. The state of being in a privileged
   logon is sometimes called WHEEL MODE.

WHEEL WARS (hweel worz) [Stanford University] A period in LARVAL
   STAGE during which student wheels hack each other by attempting to
   log each other out of the system, delete each other's files, or
   otherwise wreak havoc, usually at the expense of the lesser users.

WHITE BOOK, THE (hwiet buk) n. Kernighan & Ritchie's
   _The_C_Programming_Language_, esp. the classic and influential
   first edition. Also called simply "K&R". See SILVER BOOK, PURPLE
   BOOK, ORANGE BOOK.

WIBNI [Bell Labs, Wouldn't It Be Nice If] n. What most requirements
   documents/specifications consist entirely of. Compare IWBNI.

WIMP ENVIRONMENT n. [acronymic from Window, Icon, Mouse, Pointer] A
  graphical-user-interface based environmend, as described by a hacker
  who prefers command-line interfaces for their superior flexibility and
  extensibility.

WIN (win) [from MIT jargon] 1. v. To succeed.  A program wins if no
   unexpected conditions arise.  2. BIG WIN: n. Serendipity.  Emphatic
   forms: MOBY WIN, SUPER WIN, HYPER-WIN (often used interjectively as
   a reply).  For some reason SUITABLE WIN is also common at MIT,
   usually in reference to a satisfactory solution to a problem.  See
   LOSE.

WINNAGE (win'@j) n. The situation when a lossage is corrected, or when
   something is winning.  Quite rare.  Usage: also quite rare.

WINNER (win'r) 1. n. An unexpectedly good situation, program,
   programmer or person.  2. REAL WINNER: Often sarcastic, but also
   used as high praise.

WINNITUDE (win'i-tood) n. The quality of winning (as opposed to
   WINNAGE, which is the result of winning).  "That's really great!
   Boy, what winnitude!"

WIREHEAD (wier'hed) n. 1. A hardware hacker, especially one who
   concentrates on communications hardware.  2. An expert in local
   area networks.  A wirehead can be a network software wizard too,
   but will always have the ability to deal with network hardware,
   down to the smallest component.  Wireheads are known for their
   ability to lash up an Ethernet terminator from spare resistors, for
   example.

WIZARD (wiz'rd) n. 1. A person who knows how a complex piece of
   software or hardware works; someone who can find and fix his bugs
   in an emergency.  Rarely used at MIT, where HACKER is the preferred
   term.  2. A person who is permitted to do things forbidden to
   ordinary people, e.g., a "net wizard" on a TENEX may run programs
   which speak low-level host-imp protocol; an ADVENT wizard at SAIL
   may play Adventure during the day. 3. A UNIX expert. See GURU.

WIZARD MODE (wiz'rd mohd) [from nethack] n. A special access mode of
   a program or system, usually passworded, that permits some users
   godlike privileges.  Generally not used for operating systems
   themselves (ROOT MODE or WHEEL MODE would be used instead).

WOMBAT (wom'bat) [Waste Of Money, Brains and Time] adj. Applied to
   problems which are both profoundly UNINTERESTING in themselves and
   unlikely to benefit anyone interesting even if solved. Often used
   in fanciful constructions such as WRESTLING WITH A WOMBAT. See also
   CRAWLING HORROR.

WONKY (won'kee) [from Australian slang] adj. Yet another approximate
   synonym for BROKEN. Specifically connotes a malfunction which
   produces behavior seen as crazy, humorous, or amusingly perverse.
   "That was the day the printer's font logic went wonky and
   everybody's listings came out in Elvish". Also in WONKED OUT. See
   FUNKY.

WORM (werm) [from `tapeworm' in John Brunner's _Shockwave_Rider_, via
   XEROX PARC] n. A cracker program that propagates itself over a
   network, reproducing itself as it goes. See `VIRUS'. Perhaps the
   best known example was RTM's `Internet Worm' in '87, a `benign' one
   that got out of control and shut down hundreds of Suns and VAXen
   nationwide.  See VIRUS, TROJAN HORSE, ICE.

WOW (wow) See EXCL.

WRONG THING, THE (rahng thing, dh@) n. A design, action or decision
   which is clearly incorrect or inappropriate. Often capitalized;
   always emphasized in speech as if capitalized. Antonym: THE RIGHT
   THING (q.v.).

WUGGA WUGGA (wuh'guh wuh'guh) n. Imaginary sound that a computer
   program makes as it labors with a tedious or difficult task.
   Compare CRUNCHA CHRUNCHA CRUNCHA.

			= X =

X (eks) Used in various speech and writing contexts in roughly its
   algebraic sense of "unknown within a set defined by context"
   (compare `N'). Thus: the abbreviation 680x0 stands for 68000,
   68010, 68020, 68030 or 68040, and 80x86 stands for 80186, 80286
   80386 or 80486 (note that a UNIX hacker might write these as
   680[01234]0 and 80[1234]86 or 680?00 and 80?86 respectively,
   see REGULAR EXPRESSIONS).

XYZZY (exs-wie-zee-zee-wie) [from the ADVENT game] adj. See PLUGH.

			= Y =

YOW! (yow) [from Zippy the Pinhead comix] interj. Favored hacker
   expression of humorous surprise or emphasis. "Yow! Check out what
   happens when you twiddle the foo option on this display hack!"
   Compare GURFLE, MUMBLE FROTZ.

YOYO MODE (yoh'yoh mohd) n. State in which the system is said to be
   when it rapidly alternates several times between being up and being
   down.

YU-SHIANG WHOLE FISH (yoo-shyang hohl fish) n. The character gamma
   (extended SAIL ASCII 11), which with a loop in its tail looks like
   a fish.  Usage: used primarily by people on the MIT LISP Machine.
   Tends to elicit incredulity from people who hear about it
   second-hand.

			= Z =

ZEN (zen) v. To figure out something by meditation, or by a sudden
   flash of enlightenment. Originally applied to bugs, but
   occasionally applied to problems of life in general. "How'd you
   figure out the buffer allocation problem?" "Oh, I zenned it".

ZERO (zee'roh) v. 1. To set to zero.  Usually said of small pieces of
   data, such as bits or words.  2. To erase; to discard all data
   from.  Said of disks and directories, where "zeroing" need not
   involve actually writing zeroes throughout the area being zeroed.
   See SCRIBBLE.

ZIPPERHEAD (zip'r-hed) [IBM] n. A person with a closed mind.

ZOMBIE (zom'bee) [UNIX] n. A process which has been killed but has not
   yet relinquished its process table slot. These show up in ps(1)
   listings occasionally.

ZORK (zork) n. Second of the great early experiments in computer
   fantasy gaming, see ADVENT. Originally written on MIT-DMS during
   the late seventies, later distributed with BSD UNIX and
   commercialized as "The Zork Trilogy" by Infocom.

==================== MAIN TEXT ENDS HERE ===================================

APPENDIX A:
		THE UNTIMELY DEMISE OF MABEL THE MONKEY
			a cautionary tale

   The following, modulo a couple of inserted commas and capitalization
changes for readability, is the exact text of a famous USENET message.
The reader may wish to review the definitions of PM and MOUNT in the main
text before continuing.

Date: Wed 3 Sep 86 16:46:31-EDT
From: "Art Evans" <Evans@TL-20B.ARPA>
Subject: Always Mount a Scratch Monkey
To: Risks@CSL.SRI.COM

My friend Bud used to be the intercept man at a computer vendor for
calls when an irate customer called.  Seems one day Bud was sitting at
his desk when the phone rang.
    
    Bud:	Hello.			Voice:	YOU KILLED MABEL!!
    B:		Excuse me?		V:	YOU KILLED MABEL!!

This went on for a couple of minutes and Bud was getting nowhere, so he
decided to alter his approach to the customer.
    
    B:		HOW DID I KILL MABEL?	V:	YOU PM'ED MY MACHINE!!

Well, to avoid making a long story even longer, I will abbreviate what had
happened.  The customer was a Biologist at the University of Blah-de-blah,
and he had one of our computers that controlled gas mixtures that Mabel (the
monkey) breathed.  Now, Mabel was not your ordinary monkey.  The University
had spent years teaching Mabel to swim, and they were studying the effects
that different gas mixtures had on her physiology.  It turns out that the
repair folks had just gotten a new Calibrated Power Supply (used to
calibrate analog equipment), and at their first opportunity decided to
calibrate the D/A converters in that computer.  This changed some of the gas
mixtures and poor Mabel was asphyxiated.  Well, Bud then called the branch
manager for the repair folks:

    Manager:	Hello
    B:		This is Bud, I heard you did a PM at the University of
    		Blah-de-blah.
    M:		Yes, we really performed a complete PM.  What can I do
		for you?
    B:		Can you swim?

The moral is, of course, that you should always mount a scratch monkey.

              ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are several morals here related to risks in use of computers.
Examples include, "If it ain't broken, don't fix it."  However, the
cautious philosophical approach implied by "always mount a scratch
monkey" says a lot that we should keep in mind.

Art Evans
Tartan Labs

APPENDIX B:

	OBSOLESCENT TERMS FROM THE JARGON FILE

   The following terms appeared in the main listing of the original
Jargon File, but have been rendered obsolescent by the passage of
time, the march of technology, the death of the DEC PDP-10, and the
May 1990 shutdown of the ITS machines. They are collected here for
possible historical interest.

AOS (aus (East coast) ay-ahs (West coast)) [based on a PDP-10
   increment instruction] v. To increase the amount of something.
   "Aos the campfire."  Usage: considered silly, and now obsolescent.
   See SOS. Now largely supplanted by BUMP.

BIG BLT, THE (big belt, th:) n., obs. Shuffling operation on the
   PDP-10 under some operating systems that consumes a significant
   amount of computer time. See BLT in the main listing.

BIN (bin) [short for BINARY; used as a second file name on ITS] 1. n.
   BINARY.  2. BIN FILE: A file containing the BIN for a program.
   Usage: used at MIT, which runs on ITS.  The equivalent term at
   Stanford was DMP (pronounced "dump") FILE.  Other names used
   include SAV ("save") FILE (DEC and Tenex), SHR ("share") and LOW
   FILES (DEC), and COM FILES (CP/M), and EXE ("ex'ee") FILE (DEC,
   Twenex, MS-DOS, occasionally UNIX).  Also in this category are the
   input files to the various flavors of linking loaders (LOADER,
   LINK-10, STINK), called REL FILES. See EXE in main text.

COM[M] MODE (kom mohd) [from the ITS feature for linking two or more
   terminals together so that text typed on any is echoed on all,
   providing a means of conversation among hackers; spelled with one
   or two Ms] Syn. for TALK MODE in main text.

DIABLO (dee-ah'blow) [from the Diablo printer] 1. n. Any letter-
   quality printing device.  2. v. To produce letter-quality output
   from such a device. See LASE in main listing.

DMP (dump)  See BIN.

DPB (duh-pib') [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v., obs. To plop
   something down in the middle.

ENGLISH (ing'lish) n. The source code for a program, which may be in
   any language, as opposed to BINARY.  Usage: obsolete, used mostly
   by old-time hackers, though recognizable in context.  On ITS,
   directory SYSENG was where the "English" for system programs is
   kept, and SYSBIN, the binaries.  SAIL had many such directories,
   but the canonical one is [CSP,SYS].

EXCH (ex'chuh, ekstch) [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v., obs. To
   exchange two things, each for the other.

IMPCOM (imp'kahm) See TELNET. This term is now nearly obsolete.

IRP (erp) [from the MIDAS pseudo-op which generates a block of code
   repeatedly, substituting in various places the car and/or cdr of
   the list(s) supplied at the IRP] v. To perform a series of tasks
   repeatedly with a minor substitution each time through.  "I guess
   I'll IRP over these homework papers so I can give them some random
   grade for this semester." Usage: rare, now obsolescent.

JFCL (djif'kl or djafik'l) [based on the PDP-10 instruction that acts
   as a fast no-op] v., obs. To cancel or annul something.  "Why don't
   you jfcl that out?"

JRST (jerst) [based on the PDP-10 jump instruction] v., obs. To
   suddenly change subjects.  Usage: rather rare.  "Jack be nimble,
   Jack be quick; Jack jrst over the candle stick."

JSYS (jay'sis), pl. JSI (jay'sigh) [Jump to SYStem] v.,obs. See UUO.

LDB (lid'dib) [from the PDP-10 instruction set] v. To extract from the
   middle.

MOBY (moh'bee) n.  This term entered the world of AI with the Fabritek
   256K moby memory of MIT-AI. Thus, classically, 256K words, the size
   of a PDP-10 moby.  (The maximum address space means the maximum
   normally addressable space, as opposed to the amount of physical
   memory a machine can have.  Thus the MIT PDP-10s each have two
   mobies, usually referred to as the "low moby" (0-777777) and "high
   moby" (1000000-1777777), or as "moby 0" and "moby 1".  MIT-AI had
   four mobies of address space: moby 2 was the PDP-6 memory, and moby
   3 the PDP-11 interface.)  In this sense "moby" is often used as a
   generic unit of either address space (18. bits' worth) or of memory
   (about a megabyte, or 9/8 megabyte (if one accounts for difference
   between 32.- and 36.-bit words), or 5/4 megacharacters).

PHANTOM (fan'tm) [Stanford] n. The SAIL equivalent of a DRAGON
   (q.v.).  Typical phantoms include the accounting program, the
   news-wire monitor, and the lpt and xgp spoolers. UNIX and most
   other environments call this sort of program a background DEMON or
   DAEMON.

PPN (pip'in) [DEC terminology, short for Project-Programmer Number] n.
   1. A combination `project' (directory name) and programmer name,
   used to identify a specific directory belonging to that user.  For
   instance, "FOO,BAR" would be the FOO directory for user BAR.  Since
   the name is restricted to three letters, the programmer name is
   usually the person's initials, though sometimes it is a nickname or
   other special sequence.  (Standard DEC setup is to have two octal
   numbers instead of characters; hence the original acronym.)  2.
   Often used loosely to refer to the programmer name alone.  "I want
   to send you some mail; what's your ppn?"  Usage: not used at MIT,
   since ITS does not use ppn's.  The equivalent terms would be UNAME
   and SNAME, depending on context, but these are not used except in
   their technical senses.

REL (rel) See BIN in the main listing. Short for `relocatable', used
   on the old TOPS-10 OS.

SAV (sayv)  See BIN.

SHR (sheir)  See BIN.

SOS 1. (ess-oh-ess) n. A losing editor, SON OF STOPGAP.  2. (sahss) v.
   Inverse of AOS, from the PDP-10 instruction set.

STY (pronounced "stie", not spelled out) n. A pseudo-teletype, which
   is a two-way pipeline with a job on one end and a fake keyboard-tty
   on the other.  Also, a standard program which provides a pipeline
   from its controlling tty to a pseudo-teletype (and thence to
   another tty, thereby providing a "sub-tty").  This is MIT
   terminology; the SAIL, DEC and UNIX equivalent is PTY (see main
   text).

SUPDUP (soop'doop) v. To communicate with another ARPAnet host using
   the SUPDUP program, which is a SUPer-DUPer TELNET talking a special
   display protocol used mostly in talking to ITS sites.  Sometimes
   abbreviated to SD.

TECO (tee'koh) [acronym for Text Editor and COrrector] 1. n. A text
   editor developed at MIT, and modified by just about everybody.  If
   all the dialects are included, TECO might well be the single most
   prolific editor in use.  Noted for its powerful pseudo-programming
   features and its incredibly hairy syntax.  2. v. obs. To edit using
   the TECO editor in one of its infinite forms; sometimes used to
   mean "to edit" even when not using TECO!  Usage: rare at SAIL,
   where most people wouldn't touch TECO with a TENEX pole.

   [Historical note, c. 1982: DEC grabbed an ancient version of MIT
   TECO many years ago when it was still a TTY-oriented editor.  By
   now, TECO at MIT is highly display-oriented and is actually a
   language for writing editors, rather than an editor.  Meanwhile,
   the outside world's various versions of TECO remain almost the same
   as the MIT version of the early 1970s.  DEC recently tried to
   discourage its use, but an underground movement of sorts kept it
   alive. - GLS]

   [Since this note was written I found out that DEC tried to force
   their hackers by administrative decision to use a hacked up and
   generally lobotomized version of SOS instead of TECO, and they
   revolted. - MRC]

   [1990 update: TECO is now pretty much one with the dust of history,
   having been replaced (both functionally and psychologically) almost
   everywhere by GNU EMACS -- ESR]

UUO (yoo-yoo-oh) [short for "Un-Used Operation"] n. A PDP-10 system
   monitor call.  The term "Un-Used Operation" comes from the fact
   that, on PDP-10 systems, monitor calls are implemented as invalid
   or illegal machine instructions, which cause traps to the monitor
   (see TRAP).  The SAIL manual describing the available UUOs has a
   cover picture showing an unidentified underwater object.  See YOYO.
   [Note: DEC sales people have since decided that "Un-Used Operation"
   sounds bad, so UUO now stands for "Unimplemented User Operation".]
   Tenex and Twenex systems use the JSYS machine instruction (q.v.),
   which is halfway between a legal machine instruction and a UUO,
   since KA-10 Tenices implement it as a hardware instruction which
   can be used as an ordinary subroutine call (sort of a "pure JSR").

WORMHOLE (werm'hohl) n. A location in a monitor which contains the
   address of a routine, with the specific intent of making it easy to
   substitute a different routine.  The following quote comes from
   "Polymorphic Systems", vol. 2, p. 54:

   "Any type of I/O device can be substituted for the standard device
   by loading a simple driver routine for that device and installing
   its address in one of the monitor's `wormholes.'*
   ----------
   *The term `wormhole' has been used to describe a hypothetical
   astronomical situation where a black hole connects to the `other
   side' of the universe.  When this happens, information can pass
   through the wormhole, in only one direction, much as `assumptions'
   pass down the monitor's wormholes."

   This term is now obsolescent. Modern operating systems use clusters
   of wormholes extensively (for modularization of I/O handling in
   particular, as in the UNIX device-driver organization) but the
   preferred jargon for these clusters is `device tables', `jump
   tables' or `capability tables'.

XGP (eks-jee) 1. n. Xerox Graphics Printer.  2. v. To print something
   on the XGP.  "You shouldn't XGP such a large file."

YOYO (yoh'yoh) n. DEC service engineers' slang for UUO (q.v.).  Usage:
   rare at Stanford and MIT, has been found at random DEC
   installations.

