
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #313 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Girls, Girls, Girls"                    !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> AnonGirl                           !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/6/98                                  !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        Girls are stupid.

        Don't get me wrong, guys are stupid, too.  But guys are stupid
 in a way they can get away with.  Like a 'cute' stupid.  *Most* of
 them, that is.

        Girls, however, *are* stupid.  Not all girls.  Some girls are
 quite brilliant.  But the majority is stupid.

        In a recent poll, it was noted that 39% of women loved the first
 person they slept with.  When asked the same question, the percentage
 of men who loved the first person they slept with was 10%.  Sure, a lot
 of girls save "Their First Time" for someone special, that they truly
 love, but why should they spend all this time saving their virginity for
 someone who probably doesn't love them back?  Because they're stupid.

        Girls are stupid for many reasons.  The first is the one
 mentioned above, they fall in "love" too easily.  Sure, commitment's
 fun, to an extent.  They become so committed to the boy that they're
 "in love with", that they become more and more obsessed over them.  

        "Where are you going?"

        "What time will you be back?"

        "I'll miss you.  Will you miss me?"

        "Where were you?"

        "Spend time with me, not your friends."

        "Do you love me?"

        It gives the rest of us a bad name!

        There are several types of Stupid Girls.  There are the ones who
 are incessantly hooked on love and marriage and all that crap, mentioned
 earlier.  There are other types though.  The following is an exerpt of a 
 conversation I had at school (when I was in school) with a girl in my
 phys ed. class one morning:

        "Sarah!  Did you go to gym class yesterday?  I missed it and well
 I need the notes," says I.

        "Oh, hi Audrey.  Well, I went to the first 10 minutes but then I
 had a nervous breakdown and went home."

        "WHAT!  Why?? What happened?"

        "Well I'm ok now, I just had some problems this week, that's all."

        "Oh, I know how you feel.  Family, friends, everything just
 crushin down on you, eh?"

        "Well, no.  My family life and social life are terrific actually."

        "So then... what's the problem?"

        "Well, I failed my chem, physics, and math quizzes this week, and
 I just couldn't deal with it."

        Okay.  I can understand being worried about marks and grades and
 all that (considering I'm a college dropout I guess I just contradicted
 myself),  but when you have a caniption fit over failing a few small
 quizzes worth 5% each, I'd like to see what would happen to her if a
 huge emotional occurance would take place.  These girls perform serious
 mental gymnastics over petty things.  That's another kind of Stupid Girl.

        One type of Stupid Girl are the ones who die to get noticed by
 people.  They'll do anything to get an inkling of attention.  For
 example, two girls who are best friends meet up with a third party.  The
 Attention Girl then decides to put down and make fun of her best friend,
 in order to make the third party laugh.  They will act like a complete
 moron with their friends to get attention, too.  They will take 3 sips
 of light beer and all of a sudden be 'wasted off their ass'.  They'll
 take 2 tokes from a joint and be "flying, man".  I understand low 
 tolerance, but this is ridiculous.  

        Also, a girl who can't ever seem to have anything good going on
 in her life is a prime display of an attention-needer/feeder.

        "Hey girl, what's new?" 

        "Oh nothing really.  I'm going to Bermuda next week with my
 family."

        "Wow!  Lucky you!"

        "I know, but I'll miss the Spice Girls concert if I go."

        "So then don't go."

        "Yeah but then I'll miss tanning on the beaches."

        "So go."

        "Yeah but then I'll miss the concert, and my boyfriend, too."

        "So don't go."

        "Yeah, but then I won't get to see the pink sand."

        "So go."

        "Yeah, but then..."

        And so on.  No matter WHAT solutions you come up with, nothing
 will go right because "life sucks".  These girls will go as far as
 hurting their best friend, acting like a dolt, and diagnosing
 themselves with manic depression, just to get a bit of attention.

        However, I'm not saying I'm not a stupid girl.  I'm sure the
 Lovey Girls and the Frantic Girls and the Attention Needer/Feeders
 would think of me as a stupid girl.  No hopes for the future, spend 1/3
 of my life sobriety deprived, spend all my money on booze, drugs and 
 convenience store food.  Sure, I ain't smart. But hey, at least I'm
 enjoying myself.
 
        Girls are stupid, guys are stupid.  I'm stupid.  You're stupid.

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!  #313 -- WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL -- 12/6/98 !!
