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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                                Four Walls
                                ----------

Four walls surround me constantly.. Dark and Cold with only the light from
a monitor to light my way to my deepest and darkest secrets..  I'm often
found self-indulged in a tasty treat of fine liquid and the next day I
pay the heavy price.  The days seem to never come.. I rarely see the sun
and the light of the moon is now the tear of the clown.

Where has my life gone all these years.. my communications set in through
the wires.. and microchips, circuits, motherboards, keyboards, and various
3 letter acronyms run my life.  I'm stuck here with four FUCKING walls and
a box that I think sometimes has better judgment than I.  Over the counter
drugs and packs of 6 take over my body and the boy that was once cheerful
and full of life is now dead and tired... Hah, if only my father could see
me now wouldn't he be so proud to find that his boy had grew into something
just like you!

Flashbacks happen often.. I sometimes see in black and white but, now and
again these Flashbacks are in color... Flashbacks of the casket, Flashbacks
of the hole in which they lowered him into the earth.  Its been 2 years
since the passing of the season.. from Winter to Spring.  I have yet to
touch the earth in which he was buried.  Judgment day will be coming for
me soon i'm sure.. the way I have beaten my body up and all of the horrible
things I have done, i'm sure my days on this planet are numbered.  As long
as I have this box i'll be okay because it doesn't judge me on what I look
like or how I act and it does whatever the hell I tell it to do.

Sometimes I feel the same way it does.. I'm a puppet on strings and somebody
is pulling one way and somebody else is pulling the other.  Yeah, right
around 3am i'm feeling pretty good after bottle 6 that's usually the time I
begin to nod off and keep my flashbacks from coming for me in the night.
Dark circles under my eyes, pale skin, and ragged hair is how you could
describe me after a night with a couple of my friends.  I often go a couple
days without eating anything.. my appetite is suppressed by a couple of tall
cold ones and anything I can pop in my mouth that throws me to the floor in
an almost comatose state.  Nobody fucking cares man.. everybody pretends to
care but if I dropped dead right here right now they would step over me in
passing.  You see i'm already fucking dead... those four walls are made of
pine now instead of plaster.  Look at me now, i'm a man who wont let
himself be!


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