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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1994-01
May, 1994
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words:science humor,Improbable Research,Ig Nobel
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The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities.
Published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) and The MIT Museum
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1994-01-01      TABLE OF CONTENTS

1994-01-01      Table of Contents
1994-01-02      BIG NEWS: The Revolt of the Mad Scientists
1994-01-03      FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) about The Revolt
1994-01-04      Low Probability of Any Further Abductions by Aliens
1994-01-05      Student Science Writing Skills Documented
1994-01-06      May We Recommend...
1994-01-07      Upcoming Events
1994-01-08      Barnstorming Tour:  This means YOU!
1994-01-09      Calls for Papers
1994-01-10      Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
1994-01-11      How to Submit Articles (*)
1994-01-12      How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)
1994-01-13      Please DO make copies! (*)

                Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.


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*********************************************************************
        The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY associated
        with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results"
        or with the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results"
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1994-01-02      BIG NEWS: The Revolt of the Mad Scientists

The entire editorial staff of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results,"
fed up after years of fighting red tape, has resigned to start a new
science humor magazine. The new magazine will be called The Annals of
Improbable Research (AIR).

AIR will be editored by Marc Abrahams, the father of the annual Ig Nobel
Prize Ceremony, who edited "The Journal of Irreproducible Results " from
1990-1994. The new magazine's name was chosen by Alexander Kohn, the Tel
Aviv University virologist who founded "The Journal of Irreproducible
Results" in 1955 and edited the journal until 1989.

All of the former "Irreproducible Results" columnists and editors haved
migrated to the new publication, as have more than 40 editorial board
members -- scientists, doctors, Nobel laureates (such as Dudley
Herschbach, Linus Pauling, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Mel
Schwartz, Sir John Kendrew, and Jerome Friedman) and other mischievous
researchers.

The first print issue of AIR will appear later this year.
This miniature electronic version, the mini-Annals of Improbable
Research ("mini-AIR"), is available FREE on the Internet beginning with
this issue.

The Ig Nobel Ceremony, now in its fourth year, honors people whose
achievements cannot or should not be reproduced. Beginning with this
year's ceremony on October 6, the Ig Nobels will be produced jointly by
The MIT Museum and The Annals of Improbable Research.


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1994-01-03      FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) about The Revolt

1. Is there a connection between The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
and "The Journal of Irreproducible Results?"
A. No! AIR is IN NO WAY associated with the name "The Journal of
Irreproducible Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal of
Irreproducible Results."

2. How can I help?
A. Help spread the word. Gather the horses, mount up the forces,fire up
the presses, gear up the fax machine, e-mail your loved ones, plaster
the walls and stalls, and help us get the news to everyone who might be
interested. Many of those who most need to know are not connected to the
Internet -- especially please tell them the news.

3. I have been receiving (free!) mini-JIR over the Internet. Will I
receive the new publication automatically?
A. Yes. If you were included on the old list, you are now automatically
included on the mini-AIR distribution list. You don't need to do
anything at all.

4. If I have a subscription to the print version of "The Journal of
Irreproducible Results," what will happen to that subscription?
A. That is not for us to say.  We can only suggest that you contact the
publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results." AIR is IN NO WAY
associated with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with
the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results."

5. How can I subscribe to the indispensible print version of this
wonderfully AIRy new publication?
A. We will be announcing details soon. To get details the moment (more
or less) they are ready, send a SASE to: The Annals of Improbable
Research (AIR), c/o The MIT Museum, 265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge,
MA 02139  USA

6. How should gopher owners, librarians, etc, deal with all this?
A. Please refer questions about how to handle the new title in your
gopher, bbs, ftp site, etc. to our Technical Brains, Marilyn Geller
(mgeller@mit.edu), who is always cleaning up after the editor.

7. I want to get involved with writing, publishing, advertising or some
other aspect of AIR. How do I do it?
A. Get in touch with the editor, Marc Abrahams (air@mit.edu) or send
mail to: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), c/o The MIT Museum,
265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139  USA
(617) 491-4437   fax: (617)661-6855)

8. Do you promise that there will be a minimum of puns involving the
nickname "AIR"?
A. No.


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1994-01-04      Low Probability of Any Further Abductions by Aliens

by Leonard X. Finegold
Physics Department, Drexel University, Philadelphia, PA

You may well be worried about being Abducted by Aliens; Jacobs (in
"Secret Life- Firsthand Accounts of UFO Abductions"[1]) reports detailed
hypnotism-induced regression interviews (in which subjects recall their
past) by people who claim to have been abducted by Aliens[2] into UFO's
(Unidentified Flying Objects). You recall that D. Jacobs and his
colleage J. Mack received an Ig Nobel Prize for this work.  A numerical
analysis, of birthdates of people who have been Abducted by Aliens,
shows that people born after 1970 are not abducted. Hence one may safely
assume that the probability of further Alien Abductions is very low,
perhaps even zero.
[The complete paper, with full details of avoiding Abductions, will
appear in a print issue of The Annals of Improbable Research].


Number of Abductees
per half-decade

13                           x
12                           x
11                           x
10                           x
 9                           x
 8                           x
 7                        x  x
 6                        x  x
 5                     x  x  x
 4                  x  x  x  x  x  x
 3                  x  x  x  x  x  x
 2            x     x  x  x  x  x  x
 1            x     x  x  x  x  x  x
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     1920 25 30 35 40 45 50 55 60 65 70 75 80 85 90
                     Year of birth

Notes
[1] Jacobs, D.M., "Secret Life - Firsthand Accounts of UFO Abductions,"
Simon & Schuster, New York, 1992.
The thesis of the book is that the Aliens temporarily abduct the
Abductees into UFO's to use them in sexual reproductive processes. The
book features an inroduction by John Mack.
[2] It should be stressed that "Aliens" means not simply "un-American",
but "un-Earthly." Well-documented abductions by aliens from other
countries are therefore excluded from this discussion.


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1994-01-05      Student Science Writing Skills Documented

by Rebecca German
Biology Department, University of Cincinnati

A non-biology majors course in Introductory Biology was given this
assignment:
  Prepare a one page summary of Stephen Jay Gould's essay about
  the evolution of the Panda's Thumb, published by W.W. Norton.
On the assignment sheet, the author and publisher's names were displayed
in large print, courtesy of Kinko's Campus Copying. The instructions
including the following details:
  Your opening sentence should summarize the author's central idea.
  Do not start this sentence with "The main idea is...."; rather use
  something like "Darwin maintains that survival of the fittest is the
  basis of natural selection".

Results of three sections, totaling 426 students:
  68.1% started their essays with the sentence "Gould maintains that..."
  9.2% started their essays with the sentence "Darwin maintains that..."
  0.2% started their essay with the sentence "W.W. Norton maintains..."


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1994-01-06      May We Recommend...

Research reports that merit a trip to the library:

"Injuries due to Falling Coconuts," by Peter Barss, "The Journal of
Trauma," vol. 24, no. 11, 1984, pp. 990-991. The abstract reads in part:
"A 4-year review of trauma admissions to the Provincial Hospital,
Alotau, Milne Bay Province, reveals that 2.5% of such admissions were
due to being struck by falling coconuts. Since mature coconut palms may
have a height of 24 up to 35 meters and an unhusked coconut may weigh 1
to 4 kg, blows to the head of a force exceeding 1 metric ton are
possible." (Thanks to James Barone for this to our attention.)

"Do Men Lie on Fear Surveys?" by K. A. Pierce and D. R. Kirkpatrick,
"Behavioral Research and Therapy," vol. 30, no. 4, July, 1992, pp. 415-
418. The authors conclude that the answer to this question is yes.


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1994-01-07      Upcoming Events

::::: ABC-TV WORLD NEWS NOW             Late Sun/Early Mon., May 29/30
Scheduled appearance on the late night/early morning tv news program.

::::: BROOKLINE BOOKSMITH               Thurs., June 23, 6:30
Slide show/seminar/heckling. For info call (617) 566-6660

::::: INTERTEL CONFERENCE               Tues., July 5
Hyatt Regency Hotel, Cambridge, MA. For info call (718) 275-2653

::::: "CRAZY AFTER CALCULUS"
An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from prehistoric
times through the presen. [NOTE: The police car that recently
materialized atop MIT's Great Dome is now in storage at The MIT Museum.]
   The MIT Museum
   265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA  02139  USA
   (617) 253-4422               (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)

::::: 1994 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY              Thurs., October 6
Kresge Auditorium,MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
You are cordially invited to attend.

::::: INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY              Mon., October 10
Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD
For info call (518) 387-7942


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1994-01-08 Barnstorming Tour:  This means YOU!

In honor (?) of the new book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble,"
(see section 1994-01-10 below) the books's editor and many of its other
authors are barnstorming North America, doing readings/slide shows and
presenting current trends in improbable research.

Stops on this first leg of the tour included:
        POWELL'S TECHNICAL BOOKS, Portland, OR;
        UNIV. OF PORTLAND; MICROSOFT, Redmond, WA; UNIV. of WASHINGTON,
        Seattle; UC BERKELEY; 3DO, Redwood City, CA;
        "WEST COAST LIVE" (NPR); U CHICAGO; NORTHERN ILLINOIS U;
        SCI-FI MINICON, Bloomington, MN; BROOKHAVEN NAT'L LAB;
        COLUMBIA PRSBYTERIAN MEDICAL CTR; NEW YORK MENSA CLUB;
        CORNELL U. MEDICAL CENTER; BRYN MAWR COLLEGE; FRANKLIN INSTITUTE,
        Philadelphia; ARMY RESEARCH FORUM, Alexandria, VA;
        ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, Washington, DC;
        CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE OF TECHNOLOGY ASSESSMENT, Washington, DC;
        LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, Washington, DC; MARY WASHINGTON COLLEGE,
        Fredricksburg, VA; NAVY RESEARCH LAB, Washington DC;
        NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH, Bethesda, MD; HORN POINT
        ENVIRONMENTAL LAB, Cambridge, MD; TECHNICON SCI-FI CONVENTION,
        VIRGINIA TECH, Blacksburg, VA; CEBAF NATIONAL LAB; U CINCINATTI;
        AMERICAN CHEMICAL SOCIETY, Cincinatti, OH; OHIO STATE U;
        CORNELL UNIVERSITY; MIT ALUMNI CLUB of NEW HAMPSHIRE

::::: THE NEXT LEGS:  Invite us to your place!!
The next legs of the tour are being organized right now. There will be
three parts:
        <> This summer in New York City
        <> This summer in Washington, DC
        <> Late summer/early autumn across the U.S.
If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Improbable Science
Event for 50 or more people at your city, university, hospital, research
center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP please contact:
        Lisa Bernstein, Workman Publishing, 708 Broadway, NY, NY 10013
        (212) 614-7505          FAX:(212) 254-8098
        itlhappen@aol.com


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1994-01-09      Calls for Papers

CALL FOR DATA for AIR's "Project Um."
Project Um is an ongoing, comprehensive, international survey of how
often university and high school lecturers use the word "um."
We are accepting data ONLY for lectures that are of standard academic
drone length (50-60 minutes).  If your data concern several different
lectures, please list the data separately for each lecture.
Data should be submitted concisely in the following format:
        Name and city of institution
        Name of lecturer
        General subject of the lecture (e.g., physics, history, art, etc.)
        Number of times the lecturer spoke the word "um."

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are
awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced.
Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or otherwise, by e-mail to:
        ig@mit.edu
Alternatively, they may be send by mail to the AIR address given
elsewhere in this document.


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1994-01-10      Purpose of mini-AIR (*)

The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news about
improbable research and ideas. Specifically:

A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research
news and satire from the Journal of Improbable Research (AIR).

B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Ig Nobel Prizes honor
"achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced." A public
ceremony is held at MIT, in Cambridge Massachusetts, every October. The
ceremony is sponsored jointly by The MIT Museum and AIR.

C) News about other science humor activities intentional and otherwise.


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1994-01-11      How to Submit Articles (*)

AIR publishes original articles, data, effluvia and news of improbable
scientific research. The material is intended to be humorous and/or
educational, and sometimes is. We look forward to receiving your
manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings, etc. Please do not send
biological samples. Photos should be black & white if possible.

Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length. (Articles exclusively
for mini-AIR should be much shorter.) Please send two neatly printed
copies. Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format.

Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge
receipt of manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED,
ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE.

Articles may be submitted to:
        Marc Abrahams, editor
        The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
        c/o The MIT Museum
        265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
        (617) 491-4437  FAX: (617) 661-6855

Editorial questions?  Our Internet address is:  air@mit.edu


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1994-01-12      How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)

::::: The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR)

mini-AIR is an electronic publication, available over the Internet, free
of charge. It is distributed as a LISTSERV application.  We publish
approximately 12 issues per year.
To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to either of these addresses:
        LISTSERV@MITVMA.MIT.EDU     or      LISTSERV@MITVMA
The body of your message should contain ONLY the words "SUBSCRIBE MINI-
AIR" followed by your name.
Here are two examples:
        SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Irene Curie Joliot
        SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR Nicholai Lobachevsky
To stop subscribing,
send the following message to the same address:
        SIGNOFF MINI-AIR
To obtain a list of back issues,
send this message:
        INDEX MINI-AIR
To retrieve a particular back issue,
send a message specifying which issue you want.
For example, to retrieve issue 94-00001, send this message:
        GET MINI-AIR 94-00001
If you have questions about how to subscribe, or if you would like to
re-distribute mini-AIR, please send e-mail to:  mgeller@mit.edu
[PLEASE NOTE: if you are regularly posting mini-AIR on your gopher, WWW,
news group or mailing list, please drop an e-mail note to
mgeller@mit.edu so that we can include a complete list in future issues
-- thanks!]

::::: The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

AIR is an indispensable print publication that will appear six times per
year. We will publish subscription info in future issues of mini-AIR.
To obtain subscription info as soon as it becomes available,
please mail a SASE to:
        c/o The MIT Museum
        265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA

::::: Books

"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further improbabilities):
More of the Best of The Journal of Irreproducible Results,"
Marc Abrahams, editor.
A collection of dangerously potent science humor, much of it written by
the people who have now founded AIR. With riveting photos, x-rays and
eye charts.
Workman Publishing, New York, 1993.     ISBN 1-56305-312-8      $12.95

"The Journal of the Institute for Hacks, TomFoolery, and Pranks at MIT,"
by Brian Leibowitz.
A complete history, lavishly illustrated with inspirational photos, of
the world's leading institute for elegantly conceived, engineered, and
connived collegiate practical joking.
ISBN-0-917027-03-5      $24

Both books are available from the MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Ave., Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4462  fax: (617)253-8994
The prices quoted here include shipping/handling to any destination at
or above sea level. These books can also be found in most libraries and
bookstores.


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1994-01-13      Please DO make copies! (*)

You have permission to distribute copies of mini-AIR or excerpts from
it. The only limitations are:
A) Please clearly indicate that the material appeared in mini-AIR and is
reprinted with permission.
B) You do NOT have permission to copy or excerpt this document for
commercial purposes.
                                ----------------
(c) copyright 1994, Marc Abrahams
                                ----------------
The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR)
        Editor: Marc Abrahams (air@mit.edu)
        Technical Brains: Marilyn Geller (mgeller@mit.edu)
        Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
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==============================================================
IMPORTANT
*********************************************************************
        The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAY associated
        with the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results"
        or with the publisher of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results"
*********************************************************************
