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 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #928 -- 12/01/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	The newest thing to reach the minds of the few.  Everyone has
 their own opinions of the Teletubbies.  Here is what I see happening to
 those fuzzy things in the years to come.

	They are the same characters, but changed quite a bit, each in
 their own way.  There is Stinky Drinky (SD for short), La-La, Joe, and
 Tipsy. This is their story.

      	An introduction to the characters is necessary.

	Stinky Drinky (SD), is the most experienced of the group is heavy
 into alcohol.  SD's favorite drink is a Manhattan.  If there is no So-Co
 for a Manhattan, SD turns to Budweiser.  After a hard day of hard work
 and playing with the others, SD likes to sit and and drink as much as he
 can.

	La-La on the other hand is more of a drug user.  Your normal
 flunky, La-la has a readily available supply of dope, ludes, and
 mushrooms.  Depending on the mood, the drugs are constantly working.  
 When feeling tired, La-La hits the crack pipe or pops a few Cylert for an
 extra kick.  To keep from getting hungry, La-La has an endless supply of
 Toast and Jam.  That was from a lawsuit, which will be described later.

	Joe, La-La's partner in crime, is a drug user like La-La but with
 a passion for the harder stuff.  Joe once had the same habits as La-La,
 but has recently moved on.  After watching "fear and loathing in las
 vegas", Joe is currently in search of ether.  Mescaline, horse
 tranquilizers, and qualudes are easy to get but ether is very difficult
 to find.

	Tipsy if by far the oddest.  Not addicted to the more conventional
 stimuli, Tipsy has a very unique method of getting a high.  After years
 of constant masturbation and self-humiliation, Tipsy came out of the
 closet and became a submissive for a sado-masochistic dominatrix named
 Yes-Yes.  Tipsy is still liked by the others but they tend to keep their
 backs against the wall to prevent any "funny stuff".

                                  The Story
                                  =========

	One day in Teledruggie land, while everyone was doing their own
 thing, whether getting sloshed, stoned, or spanked in Tipsy's case, La-La
 had an idea.  It isn't often that La-La gets and idea.  The others wanted
 to know what the idea was the idea was being withheld from them.  La-La
 was scheming how to use the Whirly Burley's power to grow more drugs.

	The mushroom supply was running low, especially where there are
 two hard core druggies chewing them up all day.  The supplier hadn't been
 around in a while and La-La was getting upset.

	"man....my shrooms are almost gone.....that friggen
 psycho-super-slut bitch with the huge nose Yes-Yes must have take
 some...that.....that....oooh...ahhh...dah....bitch.(while taking a hit
 from a bong.)"

	La-La spends a few hours listening to Bob Marley while smoking
 some very exquisite herb labeled "kind herb".  A few hours later and many
 many MANY tubby toasts later, La-La wakes up with a vicious craving for
 tubby custard.  While walking to the custard container in the kitchen,
 the crack of the whip fills the air with noise.  Hearing a moan and a
 cynical laugh, La-La realizes that it is just Tipsy in an afternoon
 ritual.  Moving quickly past the screaming, the craving worsens but La-La
 is suddenly distracted.  There is a trail of mushroom crumbs leading out
 the door.  Following the crumbs, over the hills and far away, La almost
 faints at a most hideous sight.

	"oh shit.....heh...i need a hit..."

	The local rabbits have stolen the last of his weed and shrooms and
 are having a wild party.  Rabbits tripping everywhere and some of them
 fornicating, well like the jack rabbits they are.  More like rabbits
 jacked up on shrooms not knowing what to jump on first.

	La does end up passing out, but not of hunger or from the sight,
 but after joining in the fun, most of it anyway.  Like most of the
 Teledruggies would, except for Tipsy, La stayed clear of the more
 "aggressive" rabbits.

[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!       HOE #928 - BY TRIMMERHEAD - 12/02/99 ]
