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                           P R O U D L Y 

                      P  R  E  S  E  N  T  S  .  .  .

 
              ############################################
                 ####              ####    ####    ####
                  ####            ####     ####    ####
                  ####            ####     ####    ####
                   ####          ####      ####    ####
                 +-------------------------------------+
                 |   A  N  A  R  C  H  I  S  T  I  C   |
                 |    T  E  N  D  A  N  C  I  E  S     |
                 +-------------------------------------+
                     ####      ####        ####    ####
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                       ####  ####          ####    ####
                       ##########          ####    ####
                        ########           ####    ####
                         ######            ####    ####
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              ############################################

                  Mostly Written,        /
                    and Edited    B Y   /
                                       /
                L I G H T E N I N G   /______    B O L T 
                                            /
                                           /
                                          /
                                         /

     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
         Over the years, many questions have arisen along the lines of
         this one...
 
         =============================================================
         From:    Ram Raider             Msg #113, 08-Apr-88 10:00pm
         To:      All
         Subject: SYN
 
         Who the hell is SYN. Is she (a) fantasy woman you sexually
         deprived people have dreamt up or is she a real person, and
         if so is she a rootable darling... " (From the Twilight Zone)
         =============================================================

         So to clear up such questions we proudly present...

     ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                          ____                     ____
                     ____/    \____           ____/    \____
                ____/              \____ ____/              \____
               /                        |              #18       \
              /|          THE           |              22/10/87  |\
             |||                        |              7:13:07pm |||
             |||   SECRET DIARIES OF    | Dear diary,            |||
             |||                        | My finger!!! It's      |||
             |||  _                     | killing me... The      |||
             ||| / \ \   / |   |        | rotten cricket ball hit|||
             ||| |    \ /  |\  |        | it on the way to my    |||
             |||  \    |   | \ |        | chin.. (Dont you dare  |||
             |||   |   |   |  \|        | laugh!! hehe) I can    |||
             ||| \_/   |   |   |  O O O | barely move the poor   |||
             |||                        | thing... My typing     |||
             |||                        | certainly aint at its  |||
             |||                        | fastest!!              |||
             |||                        |            (from PI)   |||
             |||          ____          |          ____          |||
             |||     ____/====\____     |     ____/====\____     |||
             |||____/=====/  \=====\____|____/=====/  \=====\____|||
             ||/=====/            \====/_\====/            \=====\||
 
 
     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
                            ====================
                             Ring these boards!
                            ====================
 
     The Twilite Zone.  562-0686   300/300 1200/1200   24 hrs a day!
 
     Pacific Island.    890-2174   All Speeds          24 hrs a day!
 
     Zen BBS.           899-6180   Most Speeds         Running TBBS
                                                       on 4 lines. 

     Doodz Domain.      646-5861   All Speeds          23 hrs a day!
 
     The Truth BBS.     813-1663   300/300 1200/1200   23 hrs a day!
 
     Furthur Regions.   725-1923   All Speeds          23 hrs a day!
 
     The Crossover.     367-5816   All Speeds          23 hrs a day!

     ----------------------------------------------------------------------
                              =================
                               W A R N I N G !
                              =================

         What you are about to read may frighten you, it may shock you,
         and make you shit yourself. We take full responsibility for 
         the frights, the shocks, but the shit's all yours!
         The events described within this document have not been changed
         but the names have been changed to incriminate the innocent!

     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

                       ==========================
                        SYN ...'s SECRET BOUDOIR
                       ========================== 
                         Report by Ford Prefect
 

        SYN'S SECRET BOUDOIR, a hidden underground network of bedrooms
        and lounges known only, until recently, by SYN and a few 
        carefully selected fellow sex fiends.

        SYN's Boudoir was discovered by accident when a police 
        investigation into unidentified bouncing objects lead
        them on a routine surveillance of the area. It was a bright
        moonlit night, and it was clearly seen that an object,
        not entirely unlike a cheesecake, burst through one of the
        retaining walls.

        On further investigation, and the support of several Queensland
        backup squads, many months of intense undercover work,
        and the threat of a royal commission if the superintendent
        was not personally involved in the operation, it was finally
        made public and closed down.
 
        The date was the 1st of October, 1987.
 
        Since then, Syn has abandoned her boudoir, but the discovery
        of this map has helped us to piece together what a night in
        this extraordinary pleasure palace must have been like.

     ----------------------------------------------------------------------

                    | |
                    | |     +------+---_       +----+
                    | |     |          ]       |    |
         Retaining  | |     |  11  |   |       |    |
            Wall    | |     |      |   ]       | 13 |
              ----> | | +---+------+   |       |    |
                    | | |           10 ]  +----+- --+
                    | | |              |  |         |
                    | +-+- -+- ----+   ]  |    12   |
                    | |     |      |   |  |         |
                    | |  6  |   6  |   +--+ +-------+
          Repair    |_|     |      |        |
           Area---> ___     /\     +----+   |
                    | +----/  \----+    |   |
                    |      | 8          | 7 |
        ------------+ +----\  /----+    |   |
                    | |     \/     |    |   |
          Pier      | |      |     +- --+   |
                    | |  6   |  6  |        +--+
        ------------+ |      |     |         14|
                    | +- ----+-- --+   +-  -+- +----+
                    | |                |    |  15   |
                    | |                |    |       |
                    | +-------+-- -+---+    +---+---+
          Ocean     | |       .    |     _      |   |
                    | |     9 .    | 5  / \         |
                    | |       .    |    \_/         ++
                    | |            |            |    |
                    | +-------+----+---+    +---+- --+
                    | |                |    |        |      _________
                    | |                |    |        +-----+
                    | |              +-+- --+    1             3
                    | |              |               +-----+_________
                    | |           +--+      |        |
                    | |           |     4   +----+ +-+
                    | |           |         |    | |
                    | |           |       +-+    | |
                    | |           |       |      | |
                    | |           +-------+    +-+ +---+
                    | |                        |   2   |
                    | |                        |       |
                    | |                        +-------+
                    | |
 
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

                               ==========
                               KEY TO MAP
                               ==========
 
        1. SYN'S AUDIENCE CHAMBER.
           It was here that SYN would sit (on a magnificent gold
           throne) and question those who wished to enter her boudoir.
           Apparently, she would ask them a riddle -The Riddle Of SYN-
           and they would have to try to guess the answer.
           If correct, they would be allowed to enter through
           the north door. If they were wrong, the harem guards
           would grab the poor individual and take them through the
           south door to the torture room where they would be chained
           to the wall and savagely tortured for 2 hours before being
           thrown out. Some people, such as Dianne Nichols (TZ's
           resident nymphomaniac) usually wanted to get it wrong.
         
        2. TORTURE ROOM.
           All sorts of fiendish torture equipment was found here.
           Whips, chains, handcuffs, feathers, recordings of Neighbors,
           tapes of Mark Jackson, nude photos of Taxi Cab etc...
 
        3. ENTRANCE TUNNEL.
           Shortly after SYN's boudoir was uncovered, this tunnel
           collapsed mysteriously. Some suspect it was dynamited by
           SYN herself. No-one is sure where it leads. To a nearby
           hidden entrance perhaps, or all the way to Surrey Hills?
 
        4. SYN'S INNER SANCTUM.
           This was SYN's private room. Even people who successfully
           gained admission to the boudoir were forbidden to enter
           here without SYN's permission.
         
        5. SQUARE OF THE PHALLIC FOUNTAIN.
           This area has a high, curving ceiling and a grassed floor.
           Lots of artificial light complete the illusion of being
           outside and above ground. The most striking thing about
           the square is the odd-shaped fountain, built to please one
           of SYN's sudden whims.
           To the south of the square, someone has been planting an
           aphrodisiac garden.
           Also, a fully-grown stag deer is allowed to roam in the
           garden. It was kept, perhaps, for the velvet on its antlers
           or maybe it has a more bizarre purpose...
         
        6. BEDROOM.
           These were constructed for the use of SYN's guests. Each
           boasts a king-sized, vibrating water bed fitted with
           waterproof sheets and leather cushions. In the case of an
           emergency, whips and chains would drop from the roof above. 
         
        7. MURAL.
           The east wall of this hallway is covered by a floor to
           ceiling painting of SYN exposing the cutest parts of her
           anatomy, of course very tastefully portrayed.
         
        8. PERVING ROOM.
           From this small chamber, an individual could spy on the
           goings on in any of the bedrooms through the four two-way
           mirrors. Cameras and sound recording devices were ready for
           use in the store room to the east.

              [Note: Evil Angels now also has a thriving pornographic
               retailing outlet. And for those interested, nine inches 
               is not the same in real life as it is on a ruler.
               IS IT MARTY?]
 
        9. SHOWER/SPA.
           To the east is the shower area. (Communal, of course)
           To the west is the spa bath. The natural fauna of this
           area consists of a healthy tadpole population. 
 
        10. ALCOVES.
            In each of the alcoves along the east wall stands a
            life-sized statue of SYN's "best times". For those who want
            more pleasure from the statues than the appreciation of
            art, a rubber doll of the same person lies in a compartment
            under each statue. 
 
        11. PERVERTED SHOWER.
            For some reason, the soap holders are set only a foot above
            the floor. After speculating the reason for this, we could
            only assume SYN at one stage has a gnome fetish.
         
        12. LOUNGE.
            There are two VCRs here, as well as (at the last count)
            386 "home videos". 
 
        13. KITCHEN.
            With the cupboards stacked with plentiful supplies of
            cheesecake ingredients, we feel that the discovery of
            her boudoir was a timely one. Who knows what damage could
            have been done should she have had a cooking spree and
            bounced a couple down Burke St. in the Christmas shopping
            crowds. 
            [We also suspect that SYN was involved in the Hoddle St
             incident. Unpublished police ballistic reports state that
             fragments of an unidentified substance were scattered 
             randomly throughout the scene. The substances found
             matched those found in this kitchen. She may have used one 
             in self defense. Such a horrific weapon!] 

        14. SQUEEZY HALL.
            This hallway was deliberately made so small that two people
            entering from different ways would be forced into close
            bodily contact. With no lighting here, someone groping for
            a doorknob could encounter just about anything.
         
        15. LIBRARY.
            This room is decorated with wood panels in the style of the
            Victorian era. The shelves contain every piece of erotic
            literature from the Karma Sutra to Royna's autobiography.
 
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

                              ==========
                              The Riddle
                              ==========

        One of the conditions of entry into Syn's Boudoir was that
        you had to give your solemn word of honour (if such a thing
        exists) not to tell anyone of the riddle or it's solution.
        
        However, one person(?), so lacking in honour, (one who we at Evil
        Angels admire greatly) did so when he wrote it publicly in
        the jokes area on the Twilite Zone.

        This person was The Alien.

     --------------------------------------------------------------------- 

          From:    The Alien               Msg #14, 03-Oct-87 12:29pm
          To:      All
          Subject: Dirty, Perverted, Disgusting Joke....
 
 
          QUESTION: Whats the difference between SYN and a bowling
                    ball.
 
 
          ANSWER:   You can only get 3 fingers into a bowling ball.....
 
 
 
 
          ((DEPARTS ROOM WITH BAR OF SOAP IN MOUTH))
 
          ---***>>F A N G<<***---
          "Whats this about Wolfie?"     
 

     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

        Seeing that the boudoir had already been discovered by this
        time, Syn was not all that angry...

     ---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
          From:    Syn ...                 Msg #15, 05-Oct-87 06:38pm
          To:      The Alien
          Subject: Re: Dirty, Perverted, Disgusting Joke....
 
          WELL I HOPE THAT YOUR MOUTH IS NICE AND SUDSY THEN!!
          SEEYA  
 
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

                 ==========================================
                  Extracts from the Secret Diaries of SYN.
                 ==========================================
                 Report by Ford Prefect and Lightening Bolt

        Early one evening, after months of dedicated background 
        investigations into the lifestyle of SYN, we were at last
        prepared to interview her, and ask for access to those most
        sacred pages.
        
        So we waited until she left the house, and entered through
        a rear window which she had inadvertedly left open, and 
        finding that she was unavailable for comments, decided that 
        we should not waste the opportunity to gain access to the 
        her documented history.
        
        This is what we discovered before her abrupt return, and her 
        change in heart at granting us access to the diaries...
        
        [Note: that our reluctance to return the diaries, lead to
         several pages being damaged. We pride ourselves on our 
         professional attitude to our work, and thus bring you what we can. 
         Note: We settled out of court for the physical damages that
         were inflicted upon us, for rights to publish these extracts.]
         
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------

         ________----------_________      _________------------_________
        |               12-Nov-1987 -_   |                 23-Nov-1987  |
        | Dear Diary,               _    | Dear Diary,                  |
        |   How can I start to say  -_   |    Remember how I was saying |
        |this? I have fallen in lust-_   |how wierd some of my fantasies|
        |once again, but this time I_-   |were? Especially that one     |
        |am more seriously involved.-_   |about skydiving, oh, and that |
        |Stephen is really attracted_-   |one about scubadiving. Well,  |
        |to me, and even better than-_   |they werent as good as I first|
        |that, all the girls at     _-   |thought. But now there's a new|
        |school think he's a real   _-   |one which I was reading about |
        |hunk! I have found some    _-   |in one of those magazines I   |
        |really exciting things to  -_   |found stuck to Stephen's roof.|
        |do with him, but I wish we _-   |Anyway I started thinking what|
        |could go out more. I think -_   |might put the zing back into  |
        |it would be more fun in the-_   |Stephen, after all he has been|
        |sunshine! Another thing I  -_   |limping around, although I    |
        |found out was that Stephen -_   |don't think that I've hurt it.|
        |really does have a sweet   _-   |He might react if he had some |
        |tooth. Honey on toast I can-_   |one else join us. I think I'll|
        |understand, but when he put_-   |ask his friend Sam next time. |
        |___________________________-    |______________________________|

         _________--------_________            ###################
        |             28-Nov-1987  -_          # AND WE THOUGHT  #
        | Dear Diary,                -_        # ROYNA'S DIARIES #
        | Yesterday Stephen bought me o_-      # WERE HOT!       #
        | of those training videos  -_         ###################  
        | he thought it might improv-_     
        | my stamina. It's not quite-_   
        | Fonda, but I think that_-      
        | learned quite a bit _-             _----____---__
        | and he was right, -_             _- after which h-_  
        | improve my stamin_-             _-best one he'd ev-_
        | thinks that I -_               -_but there was on_- 
        | wonderfully!_--                 _-alking dirty whe-_
        |_______------                    -_ and how lazy he-_
                                           -_prefers the top-_
                                             -________________|


                          _______-----------_____________
                         |              16th Sept, 1988  |
                         |_Dear Diary,                   |
                           -_oday I was reading this new |
                             -_ that was given to me by  |
             _______________    -_. What a romantic! It's|
           _- cheesecake!   |     -_ nd how to do it in  |
            -_was so funny! |       -_with colour photos | 
           _-passionfruit & |      _-ave me some ideas to|  
            -_riously though|       -_with him after tea.|
              -_imagine it. |      _-ed cream and strawb-|
                -_beat that?|       -ouldn't have thought| 
                 _-bragging,|      _-could be so useful! |
              #  -_4 inches!|    _-                      |
             ###   -_ asked.|  _-        17th Sept, 1988 | 
            #####    -_time.|_- Diary,                   |
           #######     ----_-  I was right, the whipped  |
             ###         _-cream and strawberries did do |
             ###         | the job, he was very impressed|
      ################## | Some other ideas I got from   |
      # WHAT IS IN     # | reading the book was next time|
      # THOSE INFAMOUS # | we should try it in the lounge|
      # CHEESECAKES?!  # | room. Should be more fun.     |
      ################## |_______________________________|


               ________-------------___________
              |              24th Sept, 1988   |
              | Dear Diary,                    |
              |   I had a wonderful day today!_|
              | We went to a pub and drank __- 
              | cocktails, and I met thi_--
              | guy, he had such a big -         __--_-___
              | and what's more he also-       _-made this-_
              | and I had an orgasm an-       _- about how y-_
              | That night we went to -_       -_ breasts! I c-_
              | I tried some more new dr-_       -_most embarras-_
              | you should try, then t-_           -_and their too|
              | screw! Not quite as good -_          -_never again|
              | Russians are my favorite._ -           -_ oil and |
              | That night was full of -__               -_ nice! |
              | with Arnold Scwarzenegger,_-               -______|
              | oh he makes me feel so  -__
              | Tomorrow I hope that he will -_
              | me. I will sit and wait for  -_
              | this time. I was too impatient -_  
              | time, but it IS hard!            |
              |__________________________________|


               ________--------------_________________---_
               |                             |            |
               |             7th Nov, 1988   | Dear Diary_-
               | Dear Diary,                 |         _-
               |                             | Tonigh_-
               |   It was dinner with Ivan   |___---
               | tonight. We wanted to try a |                   _
               | different culture, so we    |           _____--- |
               | went to a restaurant in     |         _- to bed  |
               | Lygon street.... MacDonalds.|      __-uch later. |
               |   As I very delicately      |    _- Hey girls!   |
               | schluuuurrrrrrrrrped the    |    |Russians DON'T |
               | last of my strawberry       |    |vodka. The furs|
               | thickshake through the      |    -_ keep warm!   |
               | straw, Ivan put his hand on |      -__           |
               | my knee. At first I thought |         -__________|
               | he was after the French Fry |
               | I dropped, but then I       |
               | realised his intention.     |
               | "Heavens above!", I exclaim-|
               | -ed. I was right, it was.   |----------________
               |       ______________        |                 |
               --------          |   --------- 11th Nov, 1988  |
                                 | Dear Diary,                 |
                                 |                             |
                                 | Today I had the first       |
                                 | breakfast at the house of my|
                                 | new boyfriend: Ivan the     |
                                 | Aphrodisiac Personified.    |
                                 |   The champagne was fine,   |
                         #       | but I think the blackberry  |
                         ##      | jam on the biscuits was off.|
                 ###########     |   In fact, I may have had a |
                 ############    | bit too much. I suddenly    |
                 ###########     | started moaning, for I felt |
                 ###     ##      | very sleazy, so Ivan quickly|
                 ###     #       | got me into bed. After a    |
                 ###             | few minutes of deep         |
                 ###             | breathing I felt great and  |
                 ###             | thoroughly enjoyed the      |
                 ###             | rest of the day!            |
           __________----_       |        ______________       |
        _--ear Diary,     -_     ---------              --------
        |                   -                    #
        | Reading back, I    -_                 ###
        | just realised I made-_               #####
        | made a mistake in my _-             #######
        | last entry. Where I_-                 ###
        | wrote "sleazy", it  -_                ###
        | should have been  _--
        |_"queasy". Sorry._-          NOTE THE DATE- IT CERTAINLY
          -______________-           WAS "REMEMBRANCE DAY" FOR SYN!
         
        ________--------------_________________--------------________
        |                             |                             |
        |             28th Nov, 1988  |             29th Nov, 1988  |
        | Dear Diary,                 | Dear Diary,                 |
        |                             |                             |
        | AM: What am I going to do?! | It's okay, Ivan got away.   |
        |     I just got a letter     | He caught Taxi in one of    |
        | saying that Taxi Cab, in his| his futile "pastimes" and   |
        | bitterness over being       | got a snapshot.             |
        | sterile, has kidnaped Ivan. |   Taxi agreed to let him    |
        | What's worse, if I can't    | go on pain of having it     |
        | amass $10,000 by the end of | splashed over the front     |
        | the week, Taxi's going to   | cover of every newspaper    |
        | give Ivan a vasectomy!      | and magazine in the country.|
        |                             |                             |
        | PM: I've had no choice. I've|                             |
        | had to go onto the streets  | [This photo will be shown   |
        | and sell my body. (No, to   |  to all later in the file!] |
        | medical science when I'm    |                             |
        | dead, not what you're       |                             |
        | thinking! hehe That would be|                             |
        | an interesting thought tho.)|                             |
        |       ______________        |        ______________       |
        --------              -----------------              --------
        
        
        These were what we managed to collect, but SYN was rather
        convincing when her argument changed to include an M-16
        with grenade launcher. We immediately saw that we had 
        invaded her privacy and departed.
        
        As the photos of her diaries did not develop due to Ford
        forgetting to put film in the camera, we can only assure
        our interested readers that SYN has a wonderful way with
        .................................................. words.

     --------------------------------------------------------------------- 

                       ======================= 
                        This Edition's Awards 
                       =======================
 
        Sysop of the Month.......................... Craig Bowen

        Bastard of the month........................ The Masked Avenger 
                                                     (AGAIN!) 
 
        Piss Pot of the month....................... The Lensman
        (This guy shouldn't smoke! He'll blow up one day.)

        Talker of the month......................... Disk Destroyer
        (5 1/2 hours in bed with Loosa, and it was all talk!)

        Drunken sysop of the month.................. Fearless Fred 
                                                     (AGAIN!) 
 
        Driver of the month......................... Fearless Fred 
        (Well, that's what a bumper bar is for isn't it?)

        Most Attractive To Faggots Award............ Eyeth Man

        Nerdy Message of the Month.................. Captain Chaos
        (Get down and boo-gee Sludgy!)
        
        Pedophile Award............................. Simple Sparks

        One Pot Screamer of the Month............... Disk Destroyer

        Slut of the month........................... Blue Fox
        (Lensman, those testicle ear-rings will suit you!)
 
     --------------------------------------------------------------------- 

                      ========================
                       Quotes for this month. 
                      ======================== 
        
        Masked Avenger:         "I am going to have the best 
                                 pull tonight!"

        Blue Fox:               "I couldn't get it out no matter
                                 how hard I tried! I had to ask a
                                 customer to do it."

        Fearless Fred:          "Oh, my knob just fell off."

        Ivan Trotsky:           "I never could get my mouth around
                                 Carolyn."
        
        Radical Accumulator:    "I was almost penetrated by a banana!"

        Disk Destroyer:         "I'm afraid I might be a poofter because
                                 i get put off by kissing."  

        Raster Blaster:         "Fuck off. Just FUCK OFF! I am
                                 having a fucking good time mum!"

        (This may not be quoted correctly, it may be that it should
         read "I am having a fucking good fucking time mum!" but we
         were drunk at the time and cant be expected to get it right.)

     --------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
                         =================
                          YOUR STAR SIGNS 
                         =================

                           By Ze Prophet

        Hi again dahlings. Yeth, it'th me again, your favorite 
        forecarthter of forthcomming functionth. Thith month ith
        really topthy turby with the thtarth being in the thky 
        and all buthing around. But letth thee what they hold 
        for you...


        Aries:     Looking through my telescope this month
                we see that there's lots of little falling
                stars. This means that you should consider
                taking out a tatts ticket this week, with your
                lucky numbers seventeen and twenty three. 

        Taurus:    You have the misfortune this month of spinning
                one too many fibs. Judging by the way the blur 
                in your wats-it it getting bigger, you should
                have told the truth in the first place, because
                she wont believe you this time! Carrying a condom
                is always a good idea.

        Gemini:    Gemini's are really hot! I predict that this 
                month you may consider having a oil change, but
                astronomically speaking it could be financially
                wiser to wait for the new year.

        Cancer:    Cut it out! That right, that's my prediction 
                for you this month. Stop what you're doing and
                head for Rio or somewhere that you could afford,
                even if it is St Kilda. This is the time to party,
                so forget work. If you are heading for St Kilda
                ensure that your sawnoff is loaded. The beach there
                has lots of shell on the beach to be collected, but
                don't put them to your ear, they may go off. 

        Leo:       This is a good month in which to travel. Even 
                though you're the type to take a parachute on a
                cruise, and forget it when you go sky-diving, take
                a chance. Maybe I am wrong, and you wont get hijacked
                and shot. Then again, it wouldn't be a great loss.

        Virgo:     The stars are certainly grim for you this month.
                It looks like when the nice people said at the clinic
                "see you later", they were right... There's definitely
                problems in the sexual area for you. But it looks
                as if the problem will clear up in a couple of months.
                Then again with your abilities, no-one will notice the
                difference.
                
        Libra:     After all the bad things for the other sign so far, 
                yours seems to be the brightest, with possibilities of 
                a romantic encounter of the third kind not far off.
                Don't get all excited, especially if you're into 
                Destroying Disks. But all in all, a good month coming
                up for you.
                
        Scorpio:   Oh no. I really couldn't be such a bearer of bad
                news. But what the hell, I never did like Scorpios 
                much. Your heading for financial ruin, with no hope
                of love, you're going to be destitute and friendless.
                Maybe if you killed yourself you could get out of it
                lightly, but with such a bad set of stars, you'd
                probably fuck it up as well.
                
        Sagittarius: Let's see... hmmmm, not much to report for you
                this month. Your star thingies are still there, but
                they're sort of there and not doing much. There is 
                a fly in the room, so I could say that you should
                avoid barbecues this Christmas. Parties are OK though.

        Capricorn: What a wonderfully set of bad omens! Shit, hang on,
                that was Scorpio again... Hmmm, there's definitely
                good social contacts to be made. And it looks like
                an old friend is going to make a long distance phone
                call to you late one night and you're going to get
                really pissed off - don't, she's desperate for a root,
                that is unless you're female (and not a lesbian) in
                which case get as pissed off as you want.

        Aquarius:  Damn, this is getting bad again, more good luck for
                you coming up. There's something to do with flowers,
                I don't know what, but if a really cute flowergirl
                asks you if you have the time, this may be the time
                to try out the line "if you have the place."

        Pieces:    Oh good. It looks from the stars that you've just
                had a particularly bad time, so have I so don't complain!
                Romantically there's little in store for you, so you'll
                just have to hang on a little while longer (9 inches?).
                On the financial side of things, don't gamble, you'll
                lose, but if you keep a straight head you wont get into
                any more trouble.
                
                
                    ----------------------------------------

                         My predictionth for thith month:

                Well, thince I've just had a particularly bad love
                affair, the bitch detwayed me, I really cant thee 
                why I thould tell you that thereth thomething good
                going to happen. 
                
                I hope you all have a totally horwible Chrithmath,
                and a particularly bad New Year'th Hang Over.

                Till next time huneeth....   Blah!

                                                        Ze Prophet.

     ---------------------------------------------------------------------
                          ======================
                           The Classified Pages
                          ======================

        For Sale:       One slightly used SYN ...
                        Low milage, still runs OK,
                        not that good at indoor cricket.
                        SYN ... can cook (Caution!).
                        Comes in various shades of red.
                        In handy carry home 6 pack!

                        For more information contact 
                        Craig Bowen,
                        C/o Pacific Island.
                        (03) 890-2174

              --------------------------------------------------

        If you wish to advertise here, please contact either:

                Fearless Fred. C/o The Twilite Zone (03) 562-0686
        or      Vagabond       C/o The Truth BBS    (03) 813-1663

     ---------------------------------------------------------------------



                          ======================== 
                           E V I L    A N G E L S 
                          ========================
                     
        At present the Evil Angels team consists of the following:

        Founder:            The Masked Avenger

        Editor:             Lightening Bolt (Fearless Fred)
        
        Reporter:           Ford Prefect

        Programmer:         Vagabond
        (BSF Boys)

        Associate Members:  Thelonius Monk
                            Eliminator
                            Lensman
                            Vagabond
                            Lounge Lizzard
                            Nixx
                            SYN ... (Token Female. We aren't sexist!
                                        We don't get much either.)
                            Disk Destroyer (Pending)
                            Sprite (Pending)

        Favorite people:    Taxi Cab         Blue Fox
        (To hassle.)        Captain Choas    Simply Sparks
                            Fire Fox         Vagabond
                            Raster Blaster   SYN ...
                            Disk Destroyer   Ice Man (and Robbie)
                            Royna            Masked Avenger

        You too can help rid the world of nerds. By purchasing any of 
        the following quality official Evil Angels Products. 
         
        "I hate the Masked Avenger" Badges         $ 2-50 
 
        "Hug your computer today" car signs        $ 4-00

        Evil Angels Windcheaters...                $25-00 

        All sizes, all colours, design is: 
           _______        _______
          /       \______/       \
         /                        \      /|         
        /___/|  Evil Angels   |\___\    / |--------      NOW
             |     ______     |         \ |--------   AVAILABLE!
             |    / E.A. \    |          \|
             |    | Logo |    |
             |    \______/    |
             |   Ridding the  |
             | world of nerds!|
             |________________|
 
 
         Printed versions of Anarchistic Tendencies Parts 1-7:  $14-00 
        
         Remember... donations to Evil Angels are NOT tax deductible, 
                    but will help rid the world of nerds! 
        
     --------------------------------------------------------------------- 

                          Anarchistic Tendencies VII
                              (C) December  1988 
                     YOU HAVE NO GODDAMNMUTHAFUKING RIGHTS! 
 
                     ************************************** 
                     * NO PART OF THIS FILE MAY BE        * 
                     * PUBLISHED IN MASS MEDIA WITHOUT    * 
                     * THE AUTHORS' WRITTEN PERMISSION    * 
                     * AND HALF OF THE AUTHORS DON'T      * 
                     * KNOW HOW TO WRITE. THE OTHER HALF  * 
                     * ARE USUALLY DRUNK!                 * 
                     *                                    * 
                     *      - That's a god-dammed warning * 
                     *                                    * 
                     ************************************** 
 
                     :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 
                           YOURMOTHERSUCKSCOCKSINHELL 
                     :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: 
  
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------
     Disclaimer: The authors have gone to a hell of a lot of trouble to 
     ensure that this file contains no offensive material. However, should
     you find anything which you object to, STIFF SHIT! You can't sue us! 
                 This file is written with the intent of producing a 
     humorous file which will be enjoyed by everyone, and no offense is 
     intended towards any person or persons however much they are 
     mentioned. 
                 SYN darling, that doesn't mean that you can't whip me,
     beat me and punish me for all this... again. What fond memories and 
     scars I carry with me of your wonderful truncheon and whip! 
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------
                        Donations can be sent:
                        C/o Craig Bowen,
                        P.O. Box 125,
                        Balwyn, 3103.
     ---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
          Evil Angels will return with Anarchistic Tendancies VIII
          --------------------------------------------------------

                 ======================================
                 The Evil Angel's Christmas Compendium.
                 ======================================

          * Read about Santa - Jenny Craig will succeed this time.
          * Read how we painted Rudolf's nose black!
          * Read about the steriod scandal and the Elves,
            and the Child labour charges.
          * Is Santa a pedophile?
          * The Twelve Days of Christmas.
          * These things and much, much more... Comming soon!

