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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                              The Dating War
                              --------------

     In America there are many wars.  The dating war, the war on violence and
the war on illiteracy.  The greatest of these wars is the dating war.  This
war doesn't have the attention that the others get, information on dating
is scarece.  That is why I am writing this text file, to show how to deal
with the opposite sex, women.  Dating for the American male has become a war
and the only way to win the war is knowing how to deal with the enemy.  I
will be explaining how to deal with the three main types of women; athletic,
the intellectual and the mentally chanllenged.

     The athletic types are usually the most attractive, but are usually
extremely egotistic.  One must get a feeling for what sports she likes.  For
instance, like volleyball or something.  Don't go onto another sport, because
she will most likely not care for it.  One must as well, not get into
academics.  Nine out of ten times she will not know what her major is and if
she has a major it is something like physical therapy or sports medicine.
If one is taking classes above her academically do not mention them because
women who play sports are generally competitive on the inside, and will take
offense to your academic success.  Mainly let her control all conversation,
that way you know more about her and more what she likes as an individual.
Do not mention anything of ambitions, or such.  Usually athletic women are
short sighted about the future and only see them playing their sport of
choice.

     The intellectual types are not as attractive as the athletic types and
not nearly as egotistical.  The usually like to talk about world events or
what they are studying.  If one is not up to date on that then talk about
teachers, by asking whether they care for them or not.  Somethings to always
stay away from is guy things like drinking beer and football.  Women who have
a head on their shoulders are usually offened by these things.  You must also
act as if one cares about the issues that they hold dear to their hearts.  It
doesn't matter wether you agree or not but just as long as they think you
care about it.  Another thing that intellectual women like to do is listen to
either soft alternative or classical.  Get up to date on these groups and
know some artists from the romantic and baroque period, because they had more
love and tragedy themes to them then anyother classical music period.
Finally it is beneficial to read some books, because they usually read
books as well, not science fiction, more mystery and drama.  Never ever
show them the movie "Ford Farline", this movie is very offensive to
intellectual women.

     The last and least of these three types of women are the mentally
challenged. These women are so superficial that they believe that the
holocaust was a bad holiday.  Most likely the reason they are talking to
one is that they find one physically attractive.  One normally wouldn't talk
to these women that much but if one does just let them ramble on.  They
usually like someone new every week, and have had about five boyfriends in
the last month.  They are always looking for the bigger and better deal.
If you date with one of them don't get attached, beacuse they will most
likely stop wanting to see you.  If one is closed minded enough to see them
exclusively they will nine out of ten times cheat on their date of choice,
commitment is not a word in their vocabulary.  As far as musical tastes go,
they don't care.  Most likely what ever is on MTV is what they like.  They
don't have a commitment to a certain music form because their brains can't
commit to anything.

     I know that there are always exceptions to a rule or a category, but
most, if not all, women fall into one of these three catagories.  The purpose
of this text was not to show the three types of women, but how to deal with
these three types.  Men are currently America's number one enemy.  We are
either sexist, racist, or just plain insensitive.  It is time for the male to
change the tables and categorize women ourselves.


                                 Malloc

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