_____________________________________________________________________________
---------------------------- I Bleed for This? ------------------------------
------03.19.94-----------------------------------------------------#007------


            Riding on the Subway with a Laptop and Other Stories
                       by Snarfblat and Jason Farnon



In an effort to find a life, we went to Harvard Square with a laptop.  We
plugged it in at the pizza place but the outlet didn't work so we ran down
the battery writing about Tori Amos.  Then we deleted it.  But on the way
home on the subway we wrote more stuff.  We started a text file of doom.
Farnon handed the laptop to the guy next to him on the train in hopes of the
mere mortal typing in something cool.  He turned out to be a pathetic geek
not worthy of a steel imprint from our boots on his face.  We erased that
too.  Then we noticed all the freaks on the subway.  We wrote about them. 


Riding on the Subway with a Laptop
----------------------------------
by Snarfblat

I have a Tandy 8088 with Deskmate on the ROM.
I'm riding the subway home to get beat up by my Mom.

I hate my laptop, it's so bad.
If someone stole it I wouldn't be sad.

The screen is lame and LCD.
When i look at it i think i'm on LSD



That Guy in the Black Leather Cap         
---------------------------------
by Snarfblat w/Cameo from Jason Farnon

that guy in the black leather cap
is sitting across from me.
i think there's something wrong with him.
i wonder what it could be.

His thumb is twiching slowly
and his hand is in his pants
now hes looking at me
i ask him, "do you dance"

he's a total freak. i hope he dies.
i offer him some french fries.


why the fuck is he wearing that hat? if it rains, his hat will get ruined.  
maybe he just came out of an insane asylum or something. maybe he hasn't
seen the light of day for several years.  maybe in the 60's his hat was in 
fashion.  Someone should call the fasion police.
I bet you he has big hair.  I bet you he listens to Jammin 94.5
I bet you he masturbated to Rou Paul pictures.

ok, so we should get the T police in here, because that hat is violating my 
sanity.  he is disturbing the peace - the public's sense of security, the 
basic notion that NOBODY would ever wear a hat like that and still walk
the streets.  maybe he has a probation officer.
but if he can wear that hat, is anyone safe?

he has left the train now, out of sight but not out of mind.  Who will be 
the next victim of his insanity?  we can only wonder.

Two Townies Across From Me
--------------------------
by Jason Farnon

Two Townies sitting across from me on the train
god they suck

This Fat Guy
------------
by Snarfblat

what's his fuckin' problem?

Go Home Rich Boy                            
----------------               
by Jason Farnon 

Two townies sitting across from me
pretty boy fucks im going to put you out of your misery
im going to rip off your flannel and shove it up your rectum
im going to skin Kennedy and make you masturbate to her
die die die die die die

Last Seat on the Train
----------------------
by Snarfblat

last seat on the train
he tries to escape the pain
the world could not accept his size
so he tries to avoid their piercing eyes
but he can never get away
he's gonna have to pay
fuck he left

Killing in the Name of Mommy
----------------------------
by Jason Farnon

I wonder.  I wonder if the stupid townie fuck listens
to rage against the machine and has to be home by 10pm

Asleep Black Guy on the Train
----------------------------- 
by Jason Farnon

asleep black guy on the train.  is he asleep, or is he dead?
they're afraid to shake him to find out.  he smells you know

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