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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                             Jimmy's
                             -------

Yet another day in little Jimmy's life, another day he had to deal with
school and all the shit that comes with it. It wasn't like he was a bad
student, it was the complete opposite, he was a good student, always
getting good grades and doing all his homework.

But there was a problem with this picture, nobody liked him. He couldn't
quite figure why everyone seemed to pick on him, and why is it that whenever
anybody felt like kicking some ass, it had to be his. This he didn't know,
and because of that he was what you'd call a loner; he didn't have friends
at all, nor male, nor female. You know girls, they never want to be friends
with the dork, and the boys.. well, he was the school's punching bag.

Jimmy was just your average kid, not good-looking, but not an ugly bastard,
either. He had had some eating disorder during the last year, that explained
his tubby look, as he was struggling to lose some excess 30 pounds. He used
to wear glasses until last summer, when he got some contacts; 'maybe they
wont pick on me that much after i get the contacts', he thought then, but
again, he was wrong. Ah well, at least they wont be breaking his glasses
every two weeks now. Heck, he thought he might get a friend by getting
rid of those ugly glasses.

He lived with his mom in some middle-class home in the city. It was just
him and mom, it had been this way for the last 6 years, as dad thought it
would be better to run away with that hooker when he was just eight. He
used not to think about it that much, since he always thought it was
because of him dad left mom. Of course, he didn't have valid arguments
to support this, he just thought it was. It didn't matter that mom had
told him time and again that it wasn't his fault, that dad was an alcoholic
and it was better that way; he used to say 'I know' whenever mom said so,
but in the back of his mind there was always this thought that it happened
because of him.

At least they weren't on the 'poor' side, he thought. Good thing mom gets
well paid and sends little Jim to a good private school, where she was
sure it was much better than those public schools, at least that's what
she thought. And since Jimmy never said a thing to her, she figured
everything was fine. Too bad some private schools are as bad if not worse
than public schools.

Back to school. Our Jimmy was enjoying his meal when he noticed some kid
coming up to him, maybe he just wanted to take his lunch, and not force
him to do some pig sounds and then proceed to slam his head against his
meal like they've been doing for the last couple weeks or so.

Jimmy started to get all tense as the other kid approached, he didn't
raise his head, and kept staring at his meal as the other hid stood next
to him.

"Hey there, is this seat taken?"

Huh? Could it be possible? somebody was actually talking to him during
lunch time?, it surprised the hell outta him as he had seen him before,
he used to hang with some guys that had picked on him a couple times,
even though he never had done so. Maybe today he would start.

"Um, no, have a seat"

He could barely utter those words since he was all tense, waiting for
some blow to the head to come, or the threat he was sure the other kid
was about to tell him.

"I'm Mike, you might know me. I hang out with Alex and the other guys"

Well, so far so good. At least he now knew the name of the guy that was
going to kick the living crap out of him, he thought for himself. As for
Alex and 'the other guys' he sure knew them. They were some sort of group
that always hang together, sometimes picking up fights, and others just
picking on the other kids that passed by, you can say they were the 'bad'
kids at school, no one messed with them, and they messed with everyone.
Cool stuff, according to Jimmy. He was lucky that they hadn't make an habit
of picking on him, they picked on him, but not often, besides that, why
would they do that on a regular basis if the whole school was taking care
of that, he reasoned.

Turns out Mike wanted him to help him with a couple things from school. He
had heard that he was kind of a 'nerd' (in Mike's own words) and wanted
Jimmy to teach him some chem stuff for some test he was going to have. He
told Jimmy he needed to pass, or he was gonna flunk the course, and if that
happened, it would get ugly for Jimmy. But if he passed he promised Jimmy
he was going to tell Alex not to pick on him anymore.

Jim got the idea immediately and agreed to help Mike. After all, he didn't
have anything to lose and a lot to gain, and he had lots of free time after
school since he had no friends.

The day they were going to give out the grades for the exam Jimmy was as
nervous as he could get, he knew that his future at school depended on it,
literally speaking. He had made a good job teaching Mike, but still, he
was too insecure and so he was nervous.

Finally, after waiting what it seemed like an hour, Mike came out of his
classroom and gave handed his exam to Jimmy. It read B+. Jim felt the
weight of the world getting off his shoulders now. Mike thanked him and
told him he would honor his word.

After that, school seemed like a whole different place for him, he got
picked on less and less, and Mike even introduced him to the guys.

He was getting respect. The respect he thought he deserved. And hey, Alex
and the other guys were not that bad, anyway. He began helping them all
with their homeworks (or shall we say, doing their respective homework)
and in turn he got more respect. Even though he didn't like the stuff the
other guys were doing that much, he started to hang with them more and
more, and people began to notice him. He liked that.

It didn't wasn't long before they got in trouble. It seemed they had gone
into a convenience store after the arcades, and some other guy from the
group, Will, shoplifted some beers. The only thing Jim recalls is the
shouting from the clerk and then running like hell. At least they didn't
get caught. And he liked that, he liked the adrenaline rush. It was the
most fun he had in his whole life, and now he had what he called 'friends'
which, quite frankly, were more like partners in crime. When he first met
the guys he didn't know they did this sort of thing, since they just picked
on people and that sort of thing at school, but again, it didn't matter to
Jim, 'cause he liked it.

Time passed and things began to get more hectic, fights here and there.
Jim had his first smoke, and after a couple more months he had his first
joint. He felt weird the first time, but everybody told him that it was ok.
That they all had felt that way when they started to do it. They were
right, Jim thought. Now he always had a joint before going out with the
guys 'cuz he knew they were going to steal something sooner or later, and
that helped to relax him.

Ah.. the life, Jim thought. He had really gotten used to it, and he sure
was enjoying it.

Then, one day, it happened. One afternoon at 6.20 or so Mike came looking
for Jim. He was all excited and incoherent, white as a dead, and Jim
couldn't understand a word of what he was saying at first. He told Mike to
calm down. And then he began to understand. Alex. Something happened to
Alex. A stab. Alex had been stabbed in the back by some other guy, Mike
explained. It seemed that more than a year ago, before Jim hang out with
them, they had gotten into a fight with another group, kicking the shit
out of that group's leader. And now they had paid them back by stabbing
Alex.

Jim knew what he had to do even before Mike mentioned it, he knew he had
to do the same to the other group's leader. That way, he would prove
himself worthy of hanging with them, and he would get respect from
everyone, the respect he craved for, the respect he deserved.

Mike handed Jim a knife he had with him. It was a double-edged knife, with
a 5inch. blade. A good knife. It would do the job quickly and easy.

Also, Mike said, he was the only one that could do the job, since no one
from the other group knew him, that way he would have no problem getting
close to the guy and finishing him.

Jim was aware of this, he knew he was the only one that could do the job.
And he was mad, they had stabbed his friend, Alex. The one he considered
his mentor, even more than Mike. Rage was flowing thru his veins, he
wanted to take the other guy down. All the hate that he had accumulated
thru the years of being beaten up, all the people that had looked down
on him. He thought of his dad, maybe by doing this he would remember he
had a child and come back to see him. He was decided to do it.

Jim nodded, and Alex left after that knowing that his friend was going
to do it.

That other guy never knew what hit him. The only thing he felt was a
sharp pain coming from his left side, then he fell on his knees just to
feel another stab on the back of his head, which was the last thing he
felt.

The thrill of killing and the sensation of power were a natural high for
Jimmy, who afterwards felt it was payback time. Time to pay the world for
everything. His classmates. Mom for putting him in that school. That poor
bastard waiting for his girlfriend. Everyone.

=-=

"Think he fell for it?" asked Alex.

"Yea, he did. Told you he was going to be useful someday" replied Mike.

"Heh.. yea, who woulda know.." 

They kept on talking about how they had gotten rid of Jim and the other
guy. Making jokes and having a good time, afterall, the cops had just
received a call about kid stabbing another on the street..


-shyguy
2/7/98

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