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               [ Mind Warp  -  Volume #3, Issue #12, File #053 ]
                           [ "Friends" by Mustaine ]

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                                    Friends
                      [Copyright (c) 1994-1995 Mustaine]

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     I can personally state that the single most important thing in my life,
barring my family, girlfriend (when I'm not single), and Gymkana are my
friends.  So what's the big deal about friends?  Well, to start, I belive
that any person that has close friends is able to enjoy life about 99.99%
better than anyone in this world without friends.  Why?
     I really don't have any reason's as to WHY it is better to have friends.
Personally, I think that anyone that doesn't have friends is missing out on
LIFE in general.  Who else will

     o let you crash at their pad when your tired,
     o give you advice when you need it,
     o comfort you when you need comforting,
     o cheer you up when your down,
     o slap you when your WAY out of line,
     o bail you out of sticky situations,
     o do all that other cool friend stuff?

I don't think any old strangers are gonna do it!  I know for sure that really
good friends can help you out a WHOLE lot better than your parents will ever
do.  Sure, for some situations, your parents are the ones to talk to...but
what about those odd situations?  Imagine asking your parents

     o gee, Dad...I just totally woke up with this chick I can't remember, 
       and I know damn well I didn't carry any condoms with me last night?,
     o say Mom, I was invited to go out all night and get totally blasted
       at this frat party, can I have the car keys?,
     o say Pop!, you ever had that problem..where..ya know..you just couldn't
       get it up?
     
Now, I could go on and on with those...but I think my readers will get the
picture.  Everyone should have at LEAST one friend that can be there for 
[you] should you ever need to do stuff.  GOOD friends should 
     
     o be allowed to call after 2am,
     o be allowed to tell you your too drunk to go anywhere,
     o bail you if your about to do something stupid,
     o be able to talk to you about big problems!

***     FOR THOSE of you reading this, and KNOW me as a writer, and are 
WONDERING when I am going to get to my point, just spacebar to the end like
you usually do.  For those of you who don't read me...keep reading.      ***

     Personal Stuff!  Personal Stuff!  Usually by now, my readers are 
questioning what possesed me to write what I am writing, and WHY I wrote it.
Well, here comes the PERSONAL, true-to-life story part, and then I will
conclude on why these personal experiences told me to write this article.
If you think it's lame...well.. [censored]..

     Last night, [the SHORT-SHORT version], I went out with a bunch of 
friends to a University Of Maryland Gymnastics competition to watch our team
girls, and root for 'em.  (Duh!)  When we first got there, and scoped out 
some decent seating arrangements, these IDIOT people from the opposing team
kept standing in front of us, blocking our view to the events.  Myself being
the easily pissed-off-react-and-get-his-butt-kicked type, I stood up and
started telling these IDIOTS why they should move, and exactly what they
should go do with themsleves.
     ZAP!!!!! Had it not been for my friends, I would have died.  Usually, I
tend to use quite unneccesary language and remarks that usually get my ass
whiiped.  This incident was not any different, except for the fact that two
of my [very HUGE, STRONG, and MEAN-LOOKIN'] friends stood up and backed me
up, and then forcibly sat my ass down.  Score one for the friends theory!
I got myself saved from an ass-whoopin'.  The idiots moved!
     Later on that evening, I got snookered into doing a LOT of moving of
equipment around, and ZAP!!!!!, three of my friends stayed around and 
helped me out.  ZAP!!!!  Friend-bondage....it rocked.
     Even later on that evening, (and into the next morning), I crashed with
some more of these friends at their apartment, and they cooked for me, 
offered me a place to crash (cuz it's a LOOOOOOONG walk to my house), and
entertained me all night long.  What are friends for, eh?  
     The next morning, they gave me clean clothes, drove me home, and we
ended up all going out again the next day.  Cool friends, eh?

        ***** OK, SPACEBAR PEOPLE!!!!  CONCLUSION TIME *****

     The main point I am trying to make is that friends are cool, healthy 
for you, and necessary.  Even if your not a brash upstart like me, you need
friends.  Someday, you'll realize...that is if you don't get it now.  SO!!!
Go out and get yourself some good friends.  Pickin' em is your own buisness,
and I am NOT going to tell people what kind of friends they should hang out
with.  With that in mind, I am going to stop writing.  Let me just thank
really quickly those 'friends' that allowed me to write this article.
Thanks Danni, Michelle, Sandy and Monty!  'Twas fun.  WAY better then 
Centerville...and just as much fun as the 'loop.  See ya all Monday!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Peace, and look for more from me!

                                mustaine [infleunza]

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