
                                $$$$$$$$$$$
                                $$$$$$$$$$$  hogz of entropy #187
               $$$$$P           $$$$   $$$$  moo, oink, up your butt.
               $$$$P            $$$$  x$$$$
               $$$P             $$$$ xP$$$$      d$$$$$$$$$$$.
               $$$.             $$$$xP $$$$     $$$$$$'  >$$$$
               $$$$$$$$$.       $$$$P  $$$$     4$$$$$. .$$$$'
               $$$$'`4$$$b.     $$$$   $$$$      4$$$$$$$$$P'
               $$$$b  4$$$$b.   $$$$$$$$$$$       4$$$<          %%
               $$$$$b  4$$$$$x  $$$$$$$$$$$        4$$$$$$$$$    %%

                        >> "Homosexuality Unleashed" <<
                                by -> Ilsundal

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

	it was a late late friday night, and i made it my mission to track
 down this evil irc spammer many of you know as 'smokee' who advertises the
 web site http://www.jerky.net/~smokee on EVERY visable EfNet channel on IRC
 at a minimum of two spams per day.  for the past two weeks, i would get
 topic changed on channels, and annoying private/public messages, i could
 stand NO MORE!  here's a status report on my efforts on this matter:

 ---

 01:19 pm - 01/15/98

 [aquired from fyrefaery, bot of #alfheim.]

 Stacey18 (stacey@ifu.ifu.net) joined #alfheim.
 <Stacey18> Goto http://www.jerky.net/~smokee for 100% free porn! Check it
            out!!

 ---

 01:47 am - 01/16/98

 [aquired from fyrefaery, bot of #alfheim.]

 Jane17 (stacey@ifu.ifu.net) joined #alfheim.
 <Jane17> Goto http://www.jerky.net/~smokee for 100% free porn! Check it
          out!!

 ---

 04:04 am - 01/16/98

 [aquired from fyrefaery, bot of #alfheim.]

 sexme- (freesex@disgust.madness.org) joined #alfheim.
 <sexme-> Goto http://www.jerky.net/~smokee for 100% free porn! Check it
          out!!

---

 03:59 pm - 01/16/98

 [aquired from fyrefaery, bot of #alfheim.]

 bj-^ (freesex@alpha3.iso.port.ac.uk) joined #alfheim.
 <bj-^> Goto http://www.jerky.net/~smokee for 100% free porn! Check it
        out!!

 ---

 12:56 am - 01/17/98

 [aquired firsthand from bitchx irc client.]

 *** sexmenow- [h-kashi@mars.st.rim.or.jp] has joined #se2600
 (sexmenow-/#se2600) Goto http://www.jerky.net/~smokee for 100% free porn!
                     Check it out!!

 [mars.st.rim.or.jp]
 Login       Name              TTY Idle    When    Where
 kaga     Makoto Kaga           p0   17 Sat 15:47  iascii03.uz.asci
 rabbit   nyan nyan             p1   10 Sat 14:37  max4-14.stc.net
 kentaro  Kentaro Yokogoshi     p3    4 Sat 16:00  ppp414.st.rim.or
 h-kashi  Kashiwaya Hidetoshi   p4   11 Sat 14:39  slip166-72-215-5
 tamaki   Imakawa Tamaki        p5   15 Sat 14:57  mercury 

 ---

 06:13 am - 01/17/98

 [aquired firsthand from bitchx irc client.]

 *** suckmenow [~freesex@main.tqgnet.com] has joined #se2600
 (suckmenow) Goto http://www.jerky.net/~smokee for 100% free porn! Check it
             out!!        

 ---

        piecing all of this data together, i've discovered that this person
 is using various 'hacked' shell accounts to advertise this 'free' porn site
 to _ALL_ of EfNet.  this evil irc spammer uses ibm.net as his internet
 service provider, and is infact using windows to connect to the information
 super highway.  if you would like details on how i came to these conlusions,
 or if you by any chance would like aid in the capture of this evil irc
 spammer, feel free to email mail via ilsundal@alfheim.net.

 (offer expires 02/31/98).

        considering that the last spam was all that i was probably going to
 see for the night, i decided to follow him from channel to channel, and
 hopefully aquire some assistance from some of his other "fans."

        after about fifty channels of following, most of which were dead, and
 many which were explicit sex channels, and with the nick 'ninjaboy' i
 received a DCC Chat request, so, out of boredom, i accepted it. 

        the following conversation may be dubbed quite offensive to some,
 reader discretion is advised:

 +---[/]------------ - -- ------+

 *BashBoy* Hi
 -> *Bashboy* yo.
 *BashBoy* How old r u?
 -> *Bashboy* 14, u?
 *BashBoy* 14
 *BashBoy* Are u gay?
 -> *Bashboy* no, are you?
 *Bashboy* NO WAY!!
 *Bashboy* do you jerk off?
 -> *Bashboy* of course, who doesn't?
 *Bashboy* I dont
 *Bashboy* I only did once incidentally
 -> *Bashboy* don't you mean accidentally?
 -> *Bashboy* how can you masterbate accidentally?
 *Bashboy* I rubbed it and sperm came out
 -> *Bashboy* and you can honostly say you did not enjoy the way this felt?
 *Bashboy* I did enjoy it
 *Bashboy* I just dont like it
 -> *Bashboy* that makes like ZERO sense. :)
 *Bashboy* Hm...
 *Bashboy* U got a pic? 
 -> *Bashboy* yes, do you?
 *Bashboy* Nope
 *Bashboy* can u send me your pic?
 -> *Bashboy* sure, one sec.

        [ now realistically, i wasn't going to send him *MY* picture, so i
 went into my modem_geeks archive to find something fast!  jubjub's (THE
 OFFICIAL H0E SPOKESMAN!) picture was perfect for the job! ]

 *Bashboy* Okay 
 *Bashboy* Okay??
 *Bashboy* Quick!
 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* Received!-> 
 *Bashboy* I thought naked! 
 -> *Bashboy* why would you want a naked pic? 
 *Bashboy* Nothing
 *Bashboy* Most pple send naked!  
 -> *Bashboy* i've got one, but why would *you* want it? :)
 *Bashboy* Nothing
 *Bashboy* Just send it! 
 -> *Bashboy* heh, seriously, if you're *not* gay, why would you want naked
              pictures of other doods?
 -> *Bashboy* hello?
 *Bashboy* Hm..
 *Bashboy* Nothing
 *Bashboy* Just send it!
 *Bashboy* For collection!
 -> *Bashboy* why would you want to collect pictures of naked guys? :)
 *Bashboy* Hm...
 *Bashboy* Can u send it?
 -> *Bashboy* maybe if you give me a straight answer first. :)
 *Bashboy* Nothing
 *Bashboy* RReally!
 -> *Bashboy* you can tell me!
 *Bashboy* No other intention!
 *Bashboy* Really!
 *Bashboy* Trust me!
 -> *Bashboy* i don't need anyone or anything, but i love everyone and
              everything! :) so tell me.
 *Bashboy* Really
 -> *Bashboy* yup!                     
 -> *Bashboy* c'mon, just tell me the truth. :)
 *Bashboy* Really nothing!
 -> *Bashboy* yeah yeah.
 *Bashboy* I see how u look when u r naked!
 *Bashboy* An appreciater of art!
 -> *Bashboy* but my question is 'why' do you want to see how i look naked?
 -> *Bashboy* all you've got to say is, "hey, i'm attracted to other guys..."
              and i'll understand. :)
 *Bashboy* Nope!!!!!
 *Bashboy* Absoultly not!!!!!!!!!!
 -> *Bashboy* i don't buy it. :) hehe, no offense or anything.
 *Bashboy* Pls
 *Bashboy* Believe me! 
 -> *Bashboy* you seem _SO_ eager to see a pic of me naked (which i have) but
              you won't give me an honost answer why. :)
 *Bashboy* Really
 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* Olkay 
 *Bashboy* I see that u look handsome and want to see how u look when u are
           naked!

        [ now this dood stressed to us how _NOT_ gay he was, yet he's _SO_
 eager to get a nude picture of me, something doesn't click! ]

 *Bashboy* Pls!  
 *Bashboy* Actually,
 *Bashboy* I'm not attracted!


        [ yeah, like hell you're not, jubjub, if you're reading this, it
 looks as if you've got yourself a fan! ]

 *Bashboy* Pls
 *Bashboy* send it!
 *Bashboy* Pls 
 *Bashboy* Why don't u send it to me?? 
 -> *Bashboy* i'm going to give you the pic, and in exchange for it, all i
              want to know is WHY you really want it. :)
 *Bashboy* Okay 
 -> *Bashboy* your 'truthful' answer makes no difference to me, so you don't
              have to be shy about it.
 *Bashboy* Hm..
 *Bashboy* Quick.
 *Bashboy* Send it! 
 -> *Bashboy* quick, just please tell me why you want a 'naked' picture of
              me, and i'll gladly send it. :)
 *Bashboy* because u look handsome and want to see how u look when u r naked!

        [ oooh, now i'm 'handsome' to this non-homosexual youth. ]

 -> *Bashboy* hansome enough to be attracted to?
 *Bashboy* Quite okay! 
 -> *Bashboy* in other words, you're attracted to guys?
 *Bashboy* A bit okay 

        [ look at that, we've gone from being _SO_ non-homosexual, to a
 'bit',.. ]

 *Bashboy* Now send it to me! 
 -> *Bashboy* are you pullin' my leg?  you're gay, aren't you ..

        [ now just keep in mind, bashboy's a 'bit' attracted to guys, but
 he's _NOT_ gay, i repeat, he's _NOT_ gay! ]

 *Bashboy* Nope!
 -> *Bashboy* i'm just wondering how you can 'not' be gay and be attracted to
              guys?  forgive me for my confusion here.
 *Bashboy* Hm..
 *Bashboy* Okay 
 *Bashboy* Can u send it?
 -> *Bashboy* all i want is the 'honost' truth, and i'll tell you some
              secrets about me as well, AND give you my pic :)
 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* have given u the answer!@
 -> *Bashboy* no, you haven't told me what i was looking for :) 
 *Bashboy* What u want to know?
 -> *Bashboy* you admitted that you were a 'bit' attracted to guys, how can
              you be attracted to guys and not be gay?
 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* I'm a bit gay!

        [ my oh-my! this is like a shot right between the eyes@!~ i would
 have _NEVER_ suspected that bashboy over here was just a 'bit' gay! ]

 *Bashboy* Okay??
 -> *Bashboy* a 'bit' gay, how does that work?
 *Bashboy* Hm...
 *Bashboy* Sometime I like girls and sometime I don't lke girls!
 -> *Bashboy* so what you're saying is that you're bisexual? 
 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* A bit!
 *Bashboy* Now tell me your secret!
 -> *Bashboy* you either are, or you aren't, so are you bisexual? 
 *Bashboy* Yup
 *Bashboy* A bit!

        [ i stand corrected, bashboy is only a 'bit' bisexual, not gay. ]


 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* Now tell me your secret!
 -> *Bashboy* one more question first, this one is pretty simple ..
 *Bashboy* Quick!
 -> *Bashboy* why do you use the nick 'bashboy' in irc, do you pose as a gay
              basher because you are insecure with your sexuality?
 *Bashboy* Nope!
 *Bashboy* Not a gay basher!
 -> *Bashboy* why did you choose that nick then?
 *Bashboy* For fun!                        
 *Bashboy* Everyone in my school reconise this nick1
 *Bashboy* Okay?
 *Bashboy* Now send it to me!
 -> *Bashboy* so you think it's fun to misleed people with a nick like that,
              convincing them that you're a gay basher?
 *Bashboy* Nope!                           
 *Bashboy* And tell me your secret!
 -> *Bashboy* sure, since you've been a good sport, i'll send it :)

        [ luckily i had another picture of jubjub on hand from halloween, off
 we go to dcc land! ]

 *Bashboy* Okay!                                               
 *Bashboy* Getting! 
 *Bashboy* Nope!
 *Bashboy* Lying~
 *Bashboy* It not naked!
 -> *Bashboy* what? it's a picture of me
 *Bashboy* I know!
 *Bashboy*  I want naked!

        [ shit, now i _DEFINATLY_ do not have a nude picture of jubjub, i'm
 going to have to get myself out of this mess somehow, i KNEW i should given
 him a picture of tut instead considering he's got nude pictures floating
 around the internet. ]

 -> *Bashboy* you're hormones are racing to see me naked, aren't they
 *Bashboy* Yup
 *Bashboy* Quick!
 *Bashboy* Send it to me! 

        [ i got it!  i can go to that porn site that's been spammed around so
 frequently and find a nude picture that i can chop the head off with XView;
 http://www.jerkey.net/~smokee here we come! (and luckily they had just what
 i was looking for. ]

 -> *Bashboy* ok, but i'm cutting my head off of it, ok?

 *Bashboy* Okay
 *Bashboy* Quick!
 *Bashboy* Okay!
 *Bashboy* Get it!
 *Bashboy* And see it! 
 *Bashboy* Not bad!  
 -> *Bashboy* thanks! 
 *Bashboy* It is quite long!
 *Bashboy* Now your secrets! 
 *Bashboy* Quick1 
 -> *Bashboy* ok, i just 'gave' you something, now just a bit more
              information about yourself before we proceed with me, sound
              cool?
 *Bashboy* Okay!
 *Bashboy* Quick!
 -> *Bashboy* ok, first off, why are you in such a rush? :) 
 *Bashboy* I got to go!! 
 -> *Bashboy* oh, well, when did u first find out you were gay?
 *Bashboy* Hm...  
 *Bashboy* Lasy year! 
 -> *Bashboy* how did you relize it, were you just attracted to other guys? 
 *Bashboy* I don't know!
 -> *Bashboy* how old r u again? 
 *Bashboy* 15

        [ is it just me, or did he say he was 14 years old earlier? ]

 *Bashboy* u?
 -> *Bashboy* 14 :)
 -> *Bashboy* ok, ask me questions :)
 *Bashboy* R u gay? 
 -> *Bashboy* no, i told you that before, remember? :) 
 *Bashboy* And also tell me your secrets! 
 *Bashboy* How do I know what secrets u have!   
 *Bashboy* Who took the photo for u?
 *Bashboy* So what secrets!
 *Bashboy* Tell me!    
 -> *Bashboy* but if i told you my secrets, our conversation would probably
              come to an end, and i've enjoyed chatting with you.
 *Bashboy* No!
 *Bashboy* It will not end!
 *Bashboy* U can call me by phone!   
 *Bashboy* Or by E-mail
 *Bashboy* Quick! 
 *Bashboy* If u don't tell me,
 -> *Bashboy* ok ok ok, put you have to promise that you'll still love me as
              much as you do!
 *Bashboy* Yup
 *Bashboy* Quick!  
 -> *Bashboy* ok, i'm a writer for an electronic magazine called 'hoe'.. and
              i'm using this conversation in my next article.
 *Bashboy* Hm..
 *Bashboy* Oic  
 *Bashboy* Anymore??
 -> *Bashboy* yes, our complete conversation will be viewable to millions all
              over the world. :)
 *Bashboy* hm...
 *Bashboy* U will be dead!!!!! 
 -> *Bashboy* i thought you said you weren't going to get mad?
 *Bashboy* Dead yet??
 -> *Bashboy* what? 
 *Bashboy* U get disconnefcted?
 -> *Bashboy* no, i have much too secure of a network for you to be able to
              disconnect me. :)
 -> *Bashboy* although, you may try all you like. :)
 *Bashboy* dead yet??
 -> *Bashboy* i told you, you CANNOT kill this connection. :) 
 -> *Bashboy* nothing you have could 'possibly' severe my connection to the
              internet ... :)
 -> *Bashboy* considering that you tried to remove me from the internet, i
              feel it's more then appropriate to extend that favor back to
              you. ;)

        [insert teardrop command here, and rest assured, it worked.]

 +---[/]------------ - -- ------+

        here we have a youth who's incredibly unsure of himself, and will go
 to GREAT lengths to hide something he already knows for himself that he is.
 not even the barriors of text mode make things easy in life.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #187 -- written by Ilsundal -- 1/19/98 *
