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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                             "Mutual Stupidity"

        [The word "mutual" is used for lack of a better word:)]

        Perhaps at some event in your life, you have heard of a certain
event or occurence through the news, word of mouth, or the newspaper that
could almost make you proud to be a human being.  Certain actions of valiance
and courage can instill in many people a sudden mutual pride, where everyone
can just look back and go "Awww."  Well, I am here today to discuss something
much more different; mutual stupidity.

        If you have experienced this, you might understand exactly what I
mean.  If not, you probably have experienced it, but could find no way to
explain it.  Here's my basic summary of what happens when you feel
a collateral stupidity for humanity in one event: You suddenly feel embarassed
for no reason at all, you wonder "why am I here", you feel a sudden lameness
in yourself that should be there.  I hope you know what I'm talking about,
as it's happened to me many times.  Most of the times, my "mutual stupidity"
is felt for rather trivial reasons.  Atrocities and war-related violence are
another article.

        The first time I recognized this effect was at that silly Avalanche
parade in Denver.  I went with a friend, and before the event, there was much
commotion due to the sudden pride of the team's accomplishments[Stanley Cup]
I'm not even a real hockey fan, but I rarely see this friend so I went.
The first thing I noticed was, ANY time a car drove by, everyone cheered.
No reason at all.  Perhaps the driver said "Go Avalanche" or maybe he had
a copy of the Denver Post saying "Buried 'Em" or something similar.  Whenever
a bus drove by, the same effect took place, with more reaction.  I started
cheering in a sarcastic manner['woohoo!!  yeah!! whee!!'], catching many
glares.

        A few moments later, two foolish drunk men walked by with a banner
that said "The Stanley Krupp" regarding the player who scored the game-ending
goal.  They were cheering "Here we go Avalanche Here We Go!", and suddenly,
for no reason at all, I felt extremely stupid.  I cannot explain it, but my
friend felt the same when I mentioned it.  Something in their drunk tone of
voice, or in their silly drunken patriotic behavior stimulated a feeling
of harsh stupidity.  I was almost ashamed to be a human.  Heh.

        This same feeling can be experienced with the aid of your TV.
Any show regarding teenagers or "Generation X" can usually cut down my
general appreciation of the human race.  Here's how to do it:

        o Find a channel with "Saved By the Bell" or any cheezy afterschool
        "High School" sitcom
        o Watch it for 1-5 minutes
        o Make sure another member of the human race walks into the room
        while you are watching this

Yes, that's all you need.  When this person comes in and sees you, even if
they don't say something, you just might experience a sudden shame of what
you are doing.  Most times you don't even require the second person,
especially with extremely cliche family-oriented shows.  Give it a shot.

        This same feeling can be experienced through the "commercial breaks"
or "special messages" segmented between and inside television programming.
Advertisement these days on TV seems to work in three different ways:

        o Make people think that everyone uses this product[bandwagon tech]
        and that you should too
        o Sing about the product
        o A totally abstract technique, in which the product is only mentioned
        maybe 3 or 4 times, maybe the name is not even said at all.  This
        is popular in "exotic" products, with silly poetry and footage.
        
Ok, now you have a grasp at modern television propaganda.  There are a few
other methods, but these three can be observed easily.  Sit down in your
chair, and wait for techniques number 1 and 2 for the most destructive
effect.  You will most likely see a "Dr. Pepper"[tm] commercial.  This is what
sparked the writing of this article, a cheezy "Dr. Pepper"[tm] commercial
featuring a bunch of people from different classes in society[subliminal
political correctness] singing about...A fucking can of pop.  Yes, a can of
pop.  The commercial boasts "You're the part of me, that's the heart of me",
which, in my personal opinion, is the one of the most ridiculous things I
have ever heard.  Yes, it's trivial, perhaps TOO trivial, but these people
even getting away with CONCEIVING this commercial, is ridiculous.  GRASP at
this for a moment.  YES it's meaningless, but the concept of a REFRESHMENT
taking a large place in someone's life, is utter stupidity.  This stupidity
just might ooze its way out of your television, and into you, which is what
I have been getting at;>

        Also, local 303 commercials that I see between say "The Late Show"
involving a)"Dealin' Doug" or b)A toddler shitting in her fucking diaper
[a commercial for a local bank I think] seem to have an even worse effect.

        Recommended cures for extinguishing the undesirable effects of
"mutual stupidity": An episode of "Seinfeld" or "The Late Show with David
Letterman" can often work.  "Conan O'Brien" does well at times, but some times
he will actually cause the same problem, in a weaker form.  A good mocking
laugh can also help, if done properly and with the right combination of
cynicism, sarcasm, and displacement[i.e. "ha, I am above you"].

        Perhaps this is the desired effect of "mutual stupidity".  What if
deep in our subconscious we go "God damn, that's so stupid, they must be
doing this on purpose" and actually are affected in a positive manner?
I hope not, heh.
                                               -Lord Humongous

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