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              [ Mind Warp  -  Volume #6, Issue #00, File #80 ]
                  [ "Surfing the Night Away" by Mustaine ]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                          Surfing the Night Away
                               [mustaine]
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        It's three in the morning on a colder than average spring day.  The
screen in front of Joe Schmoe is refreshing faster than the human eye will
ever be able to see without the aid of technology.  The modem that is
attatched to the computer Joe is using is humming gently, and there is no
one else around.
        Joe is in the University Computer Lab, staring at a several
simultaneous windows open on his desktop.  One screen shows a IRC channel
scrolling away with hundreds of people trying to get a word in about the
topic "WAREZ."  Another shows a web page, with 4,000 different shareware
games ready to be downloaded.  Yet another has a e-mail program flashing
news that 4 new mail items have appeared in the inbox.  Further still,
there are windows open with a word processor with a half typed report,
a multi-user dungeon game, and lastly, there's a window with a report from
a znol (zephnr utility) search of online people matching an .anyone file.
Joe's eyes are cracked red with blood, and he stares in a manner not unlike
a truck driver that has been on a anti-sleep pill for over 48 hours.
        In another three hours, Joe will rip himself from the computer,
catch a dougnut at the University Cafeteria, and finally collapse into
slumber in the back of a lecture hall for his 8:00 class.

              * Insert Mustaine's bitching here... *
          (Like you didn't know it was coming!  Pa-LEEZ)

        Sounds pretty sick huh?  Sounds like a real loser huh?  Sounds like
one of those f*cked up nerd geeks that the local news channels run internet
specials on every month, right?  AM I CLOSE PEOPLE?
        Well, let me tell you how close I am.  (And you know I'm close.)
Take out the "..nerd geeks.." part, and insert AVERAGE COLLEGE STUDENT, and
the above statement was extremely valid.  So valid it makes me sick.
        People these days are discovering something wonderful that has been
emerging over the last few years as a new frontier for mankind.  Of course,
I'm talking about the internet.  Yes, the wonderful internet, where you can
do almost everything...EVEN SEX in a manner... without ever leaving the
comfort of your rocking chair.  Of course, I've been told cybersex usually
includes one hand OFF the keyboard, BUT DON'T ASK ME.  I abstain, thank you.
        In this discovering, they are also becoming addicted.  And it's not
too hard, either.  There are so many things available, so many things at
a "instant gratification" level, that the internet is like a drug.  A very
legal drug too.  Taken in small doses, I can see this drug as usefull, a
learning experience, even a step forward for mankind.  Overabused, and it
will turn the average person into a sniveling, sleepless zombie who has
no f*cking clue what is going on in the real world.
        Wake up people.  Go read a book, take a walk, or hang out with
friends.  F*ck with the people at McDonald's, or write your President hate
mail...USING SNAIL MAIL...  Drink soda, exercise for twenty minutes, play
with furry animals.  DO SOMETHING.  But please, turn off the computer and
do a reality check.  Do you need a new to be sitting at a screen for HOURS
and HOURS?  Do you need that new shareware utility the SECOND it comes out?
Do you have to check e-mail every five minutes?
        GO.  NOW.  AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU DO A REALITY CHECK.





        la la de la la la, la de la la la.
        la la de la la la, la de la la la.





                        Papa Smurf ate Smurfette every night.
                        (the question is: sweet or sour?)




                        la la de la la la, la de la la la
                        la la de la la la, la de la la la.










 (If your still reading this, your one of the f*cking losers I was talking
  about when I wrote this.  Go rent a clue, and get the f*ck off the
  computer.)
            


            Handy smurf did himself, and Brainy smurf created a VMRL smurf
            image to get off with.






              la la de la la la, la de la la la
              la la de la la la, la de la la la




              Musty Smurf has a girlfriend.   He is tied up with a lot of
              school crap.  Musty Smurf needs more writers, la de la la la.


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