
        gimme fongu.




                                        Fuck you?



 NO, fongu.




                                                 That's it you little fuck.



          All I want is some fongu.



                                                You ain't fuckin' me, you
                                                little queer.


  No, please dont...

                                <bANg kA pOW>



      sszggggsssgggg
        $$$$g   $$$$                F O N G U ..
   .    $$$$    $$$$              asciiSCRIBBLE                          .
   .    $$$$    $$$$
   :    $$$$    $$$$         g$$$$sgggggs    gggsssg$$$$gg               .
        $$$$    $$$$       zzz$$$$   $$$$gg$$$$'  "$$$$$                 .
        $$$$    $$$$          $$$$   $$$$ $$$$      $$$$                 :
   :    $$$g$$s     gggsssggx $$$$   $$$$""$$$$gssg$$$$$  $$$$"   $$$$   "
   :    $$$$      $$$$'  "$$$$ $$$   $$$$    z """""$$$$ $$$$      $$$$  :
   #  gg$$$$     $$$$      $$$$ $$   $$$$g $$$$g    $$$$""$$$g    g$$$ý  s
   $   sý"$$:   ""$$$$gssg$$$$ý "$   $$$$  $$$$$gsz$$$$$ bb`ý$$gg$$ý"    #
   $: `'   $^       z""ýýý"'  g$$$  z$$$$ss      ""                     :#
   $$ `                                                                 $:
   :$$$$$$$$$$                                                 $$$$$$$$$$$
   $gggsssszzz+ --------  --  -- ----  --- - - - - - - -- -- -+zzzsssgggg$
                                zero zero too-n

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Wuhlome to another issue of fongu.  eye lub joo tew.  Because of the
walloping success we had for the first issue, we decided to write/draw 
another issue of fongu... more fongu for you and me... more more more more.
yessir... more more more eye want steaks-n-gravy.  

        I wanted to discuss my disapointment with the reaction we had after
the first issue... no one particpated in the fongu revolution.  Hence, we
are forced to inflict extreme pain and despair upon those who did not
particpate, we fucking wasted our times sending you the damn file, and this
is what we get?  "MAKE FUN OF ME IN THE NEXT FONGU, ME ME ME Me, MAKE FUN
OF ME IN THE NEXT FONGU, MAKE FUN OF ME, EWHEAT, MAKE FUN OF ME!! NOW NOW 
NOW NOW NOW BEFORE EYE HAVE TO GO TO BED BECUZ EYE'M SOOOOOOO STONED FROM
SHOOTING MARIJUANA."  I say I piss on you niggers (sure your music may be
good, but I still piss on you)  You did not particpate in the revolution,
hence you dont get an article or parody about you.  No sir, you dirty
multicultural niggers.  So this issue, I will only make fun of the staff
of Fongu, not outsiders... Unless you particpate in the revolution... you
may be made fun of in fongu.

        - Ways to particpate in the fongu revolution -


        1. /redir #ansi /msg piker eye blow goats and I want my FUCKING
           DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG NOW, GODDAMMIT, YOU STUPID NO-LIFE
           #FTP OP, EYE DARE YOU TO KILL ME NOW, GO AHEAD, /KILL (your
           name) NOW YOU FUCKING PUSSY, JUST BECAUSE PPL BLOW YOU, THAT
           DOESN'T MEAN YER THE SHIT... <SPIT> FUCKIN' PUSSY.

        2.) /topic #ansi <BOLD>EYE WANT MY FUCKING DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG.

        3.) Make an ascii for fongu, or write a _FUNNY_ article... (hence,
            no group promotionals, no board promotionals, no "fuck the 
            scene" shit, no "lets all go to BlahBlahNet, instead of Efnet"
            shit)

        
        Yeah yeah, I know, most ppl dont read the editorals... well, it's
because they're dumb.  If you are reading this and for some strange reason
it affects you whatsoever... particpate in the revolution.

        Happy revolution Spring '96.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                el shitty0 memberlist.... 

                          Fongu members/contributors
                                   editors 
                              ewheat/fahrenheit
                                   artists
                           miasma/scribble/fahrenheit
                                   writers
                   ewheat/fahrenheit/psybrrape/spook/mroctober

- Scripting fun -------------------------------------------- by ewh3atile ---
cut-n-paste this in your fuckin' textbox/phoenix/zephyr/dread scripts... 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

alias fongu {
            /say eYE iS a FONGU rEADER.
            /say pHEAR mAH iNTELLIGENCE.
            /exec rm y0lk*.*
            /exec rm dto*.*
            /exec rm bliz*.*
            /exec rm cnb*.*
            /exec rm jonas*.*
            /exec rm ant*.*
            /exec rm flu*.*
            /exec rm pork*.*
            /si eYE rEWL sO mUCH, fONGU 100% aLL tHE wAY, bABY
}
---------------------------------------- phear my irchaxoring skillz --------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
psybrappe is a stoner on irc... phear him, he gets chicks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-lewk at me, i'm st on red no icr----------------------------by psybr rap e--

                               IRC - Potheads!

    H0j0j0j0j0, here eye yam again, at home on fr1day night with n0thing tew
 dew becawze eye have gn0 friends.  HmMmMMMMmmmMm, maybe eye'll get 0n eye -
 are - see and see h0w many friends eye can make *flex* i'll be cool then!
    WoO, 26.4k conn3kt.. eye'm elite now.  warp-speed ahead!  Hohum. My leet
 un1x sh3ll account is so perdy.  woo eye wanna fUck the internet.  Maybe  I
 will g0 loOkin' for a cyber-wh0r3 once eye get connected tew this elite ass
 s3rv3r.  woo. here eye go.  "*** connected to irc.i'm_a_lamer.com"  y1ppee!
    Here eye go.  joining numbah anSi.  wah00.  hey.  hi.  hello.  Yeah, eye
 yam the mastah because eye get a lot of greets.  hummm eye wonder if they'd
 w0rsh1p me mOre if eye t0ld th3m eye dew drUgz?!?! Eye have n0thing to lose
 so h3r3 w3 g0!
    "h0j0, eye just wanna annOunCe that EyE YaM a pOth3ad and eye sm0ke muhh
 stAsh awn EyE-aRe-SeE. YaM eye el1t3? b0w to me my non-d0pe-sm0king lamurz!
 Eye yam so elite becuz eye smoke dOp3.  donut ewe see muh PoWeR?!? *flex* U
 best start b0wing.  whutz that?!? eye suck becawse eye do drugz? h0j0,  eye
 yam a walking dictionairy on d0p3,  bitz, becawse eye have no life,  so eye
 sp3nd my entire life r34ding about how much marijuana iz.  so phawk ewe cuz
 muhh w33333333d is more elYte for muhh body than ur m0mmie wuz last night!"
    Eye think they aRe impr3ssed.  eye gn0 eye yam.   eye yam so cool and eye
 gn0 it.  WooHa!  eye can suckstart a leafblowah now!  "hey laymuhrz, give m3
 h34d!  n0w!  eye crave he4d!  suck muh nutz bitz.  call m3 da  pimp daddie-o
 and t3ll me h0w goOd muh d0p3 iz!  eye gn0, muh dOpe is s0000 good that when
 ewe make lub to me ewe are y00sing me ph0r muh weed.  yez!"
    oh-kay.  hmmmz.  whUt tew dew now.  eye gn0, eye'll t3ll them eye yam s00
 st0ned!  and they'll thEEnk eye'm cooler!  yay! eye yam so intelligent,  eye
 gn0 how to make phriendz on eye-are-see!  WooHa!  "HeY muh pet laymuhrz, eye
 jUst sm0k3d a l0t of d0pe.  yam eye cool?  don't even answer, eye gn0 eye is
 and ewe ahr not becawse ewe aren't st0n3d and eye yam!  wooha, eye see bl000
 monkeyz and starz!  eye yam so stoned, eye think eye yam flying!  i am s0000
 elYte now."
    n0w they thEEnk eye yam st0ned. yay! mebbe they'll thEEnk eye gawt st0n3d
 with muh friendz eye always claim to have. yez!  "h3y, eye was out wiff  muh
 bezt phriend Martha.  w3 g0t st0n3d.  yay.  see, eye yam more elYte than ewe
 becaws3 eye have a phriend named Martha.  *flex* eye am s00 coOl becawse eye
 have phriendz.  eye never come 0n eye-are-see becawse eye have a life. eye'm
 only h3re n0w becawse eye didn't wunt to g0 get laid wiff muh friend and his
 g1rlphriend and h3r sister." <eye think that sh0uld convince them,eye hope!>
    WooHa.  Eye sh0ut out sOme m0re greetz becawse eye yam the p0pular st0ner
 on eye-are-see.  all of muh cyber-buddi3z thEEnk eye have a lYfe n0w.  Eye'm
 s0 coOl.  Eye cannawt wait for ewheat to g3t on eye-are-see so w3 can  smoke
 sum liquid marijuana.  wooha.
    Sp3ak of th3 DEViL himselph. "ewheat! letz g0 sm0ke our cyber-d0pe and be
 tha kewlio-est nigguhz awn eye-are-see.  woO, yay, *flex*.  We ahr so elYte.
 We be da dOpe-smokinest buddiez awn eye-are see yay!  eye'll masturbate tew-
 night thEEnking of ewheat and eye sm0king d0pe.  wooha.  yum."
    "what?  oh shit!  my mom is calling me!  i have to go before she takes my
 computer away!  bye folks.  i'm going to miss you all!  my irc friends!"

                                                                psybah!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
now, i put my neck out for this... phear it.
- Interview with the IRCOP ---------------------------------------------(3t)- 

*** ewheat (juan@mail.ee.net) has joined #pikerblows
*** Topic for #pikerblows: woah, there dewdleboy, yer really interviewin' me
*** Users on #pikerblows: ewheat @piker
*** Mode change "+o ewheat" on channel #pikerblows by: piker.
<ewheat> hey
<ewheat> woah.
<piker> hello
<ewheat> hey
<piker> hello
<ewheat> hey
<piker> uhm... stop
<ewheat> hey... oh okay....
<piker> INTERVIEW ME NOW, BITCH OR EYE WILL KILL JOO
<ewheat> oh... okay... eye lub joo
<ewheat> So, tell me what's your current occupation (in real life and 
         irc)
<piker> Well, I used to be a Postal office employee... and also I'm a IRCOP
        on irc... basically that's all I do all day...
<ewheat> Oh... why aren't you a postal office employee anymore?  If that's
         not too personal?
<piker> Oh, dont worry, it's not too personal, well you know all that stuff
        about deranged postal office workers, right?  Shooting and stuff?
<ewheat> uhh... yeah?
<piker> no no, I didn't shoot anyone... y'see after the first shooting, I
        decided it'd be pretty cool to do something similar to that, so I
        went over to this local fuckhouse and bought Dr. Juan's Get-A-
        Coming-Real-Quick-and-Fast pills, those kind that make you jizz
        every 2 seconds.  Anyways, I took around 5 of them and went to my
        workplace in around an hour...
<ewheat> uhh.... go on.
<piker> And hell broke loose... I took my pants off, went in the backroom
        to pick up my mail delivery... all the meanies were making fun of me
        but HA HA HA HA I jiZZED ALL OVER THEM!!  A GAZLLION TIMES!#%  PHEAR
        ME.  THEN I STARTED RUNNING ALL AROUND THE BUILDING DRAINING MYSELF
        ON ALL THE WALLS, IT WUZ AWESOME!!@#%   
<ewheat> woah... talk about crazy internet kids.
<piker> kiD?  i AINT NO KID, EYE GOT MORE JIZZ ON MY SCREEN THAN ALL THE
        JOLT CODA YOU'LL DRINK IN YOUR LIFE.
<ewheat> I dont drink Jolt, I drink Dr. Pepper.
<piker> I DONT CARE, EYE GOT MORE JIZZ IN MY JIZZ JAR THAN HOW MUCH DR.
        PEPPER YEW WILL DRINK IN YER LIFETIME... MAH DOG HAS MORE JIZZ
        IN HIS ASS TEW... PHEAR ME!
<ewheat> uugh... uhm... okay, enuff of that.
<piker> Then I got fired from my job, then I met this kid... he introduced
        me to irc... and I learned how to blow people with dcc chats and
        ctcp notices.. that's how I got my o:line.
<ewheat> Wow... so how many ppl have blown you?
<piker> None... well... only 2... My dog and goldfish... although I prefer
        the goldfish.
<ewheat> why?
<piker> Well, the size fits, and goldfishes dont have teeth, and they're
        used to sucking up water all day... so it had room for my jizz.
<ewheat> oh okay... i phear... hey, uhm... eye gotta go to bed becuz eye'm
         so stoned and drunk from anti-freeze.
<piker> oh <WINK WINK> I UNDERSTAND, <WINK WINK> EYE AM SMOKING TEW!
<ewheat> <WINK WINK>
<piker> oh, by the way, tell anyone about this, and I'll k-line you from
        every server out there.
<ewheat> my lips are sealed. <snicker>
*** Signoff piker (phEAR MAH 2 INCH DIXOR)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
EYE AM THE NECTAR UNADCCBOMBER (see nectar04 for info)
-Unabomber manifesto 2------------------------------------(by MrOctober)-----

On April 20, 1996, the Unabomber released yet another manifesto.
In an attempt to halt his bombings, we have decided to run the
thoughts from inside this bomber's head...

The UNABOMBER's Latest Manifesto

The United States' Job-Market

The United States' Job-Market is being taken over by many 
illegal aliens.  Even though it is just owning Dry Cleaners, 
Convinient Stores, Hu-Nans, making our cars, and working as 
maids in hotels, there are still many Americans' job-less.  I 
don't understand why minorities are felt sorry for upon this 
country.I might feel different for these niggers and spics if 
they paid support for their 8 children, but they don't even 
know their names.  Why? Beat's the hell out of me.  We have 
white people on welfare, while we have dirty, smelly spics who 
can't even count to three having an income by making our beds 
in hotels.  So instead of the white people, the "Real Americans" 
of this country being employed, we have them struggling 
through life.  How Can Spics, Niggers, and Nips achieve the 
"American" Dream?  It ain't right, and I am going to put a 
stop to it.  I am sending this out as a warning to you 
Green-Card Seekers: if you remain in this country, you will be 
added to my list to bomb. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
spewk knowz the irchaxoring skillz... 
-(/<-r4/> #ansi takeover)---------------------------------------by spook-----

ok... tyme for eye are sea.... hang on phone... 'what did you 
say? oh you must have the wrong number.. i don't know any 
girls' ok back to my computer... yes yes this will be 
/<-r4d... /load elitetakeoverscript.irc wOOO wOOO it gets me 
horny just to load it.. oh look at that elite ascii screen 
made by who? wh0dini? who the fuck is that lamer? bah.. oh 
well.. back to irc... now for an elite nick.. hmm /nick 
kLEET.. yeah now they'll think i'm elite i know.. i could go be 
elite and takeover #ansi.. then everyone would think i'm really 
kewl.. ok lets see... [netsplit] irc.texas.net irc.ais.net.. wait? 
what the fuck does that mean? dammit script tell me how to 
takeover that channel!! well i guess i should start by joining 
it.. ok.. /j #ansi wait.. what mom?... oh.. no i dont need any 
p00ty tonight put yer panties back on... ok... i got it... 
i'll tell them i'm like really fucking high on like freon or 
something..yeah freon.. that is ELiTE! ok... whoa everyone.. 
i'm like totally smashed on freon right now.. yeah man.. look 
at all that colors... *** mode change "+b kLEET*!*laymenet*.com" 
on Channel #ansi by spoOk  *** you have been kicked from 
Channel #ansi by spoOk [:DreaD: shut the fuck up you cocksmoker]
what?!@ shit.. spook you fucking lamer.. hmm... ok now what... 
uhm... /j #ansi... *** cannot join channel [banned from channel] 
dammit.. fuck... /m spoOk why did you ban me? *spoOk* cuz yer 
a lamer /m spoOk unban me... i'll be good *spoOk* <sigh> 
fine...   yay! that dumbass spoOk... he's gunna get it when i 
take the channel over... /j #ansi  wiat.. i'm the only one it 
here.. yay i'm op'd.. i took over the channel.. here they cme! 
there're all joining.. wiat. *** server modes +ooo spoOk 
maytrickz r3ptile on #ansi by irc2.ais.net.. uhm.. shit... 
/deop spoOk yeah.. there you go mother fucker! got you back 
for banning me! *** mode change "+b ?L??T?!??ay?e?et?.c?m" on 
channel #ansi by MayTrickZ *** you have been kicked from #ansi 
my MayTrickZ [<-zZz-> lamer <-zZz->]   fuck... ah well.. i 
gots respect now.. i took over #ansi for three whole minutes.. 
ooo that makes me horny... hey mom! i changed my mind.. take 
off yer panties and get down here! now!!

                                        spoOk@isis.gahanna.k12.oh.us
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
i phear trip for this... he can bust rhymes.
-(the happy pap cat in the hat)--------------------------------by trip-------
Dr Suess High On CoLoReD BlOcKs
---

i do not phear.
i do not hear
your complains about the scene.
i don't want to be mean,
but i think your opinion is obscene.
the kiddie cryed, "yOuR NoT eLiTe!@"
"Fuck off," said STC, big and lean.

Neurotic will no longer doodle.
"hE r0cKeD!@," said Ti
"EyE WiLl nOt dRaW, not with a poodle
"Nor will I use the lowercase I
"not even for a noodle,"
said NC, with a smile, sly.

Ewheat, boy, he is whacky.
he phears anyone who can hackey.
he is deff [but not dumb!@]
"i can feel the vibrations,
when my ear sheaths my thumb."

"DeWdZ, tHiZ hIpPiE CrAcK ReWlZ!@%^," exclaimed Misfit.
Transient said, "Fuq that, take a bong hit."
Bedlam arrived, all-a-huffin'
"Dew i smell drugz?!@ Bad doodleboys!@#$%"
The two promptly bashed his head till it caved in.
"aCk!@ ThAt HuRt!@ Froinlaven!@"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                                      .
    ___________  ________        ________        _________        ____|\____
  __\_  ______/ _\____ _/_      _\____ _/_      _\_ _____/_      _\_  |   _/__
 |/     ____/_ /     |    \ __ /     |    \ __ /    \___   \ __ /     |      \|
 /         \\//      |     \\//      |     \\//       |     \\//      |       \
/___________\/______________\/_______|______\/_______________\/________________\
_|_/_                                                                      _\_|_
\|/    ascii and article by fahrenheit, i lub joo fah...                     \|/ 
:____________________________________________________________________________:
   |___________________________________________________________________fh___|
----+(Fahrenheit)+--------------------------------------------------------------
 Wh0rd, dat gangsta rappa fahrenheit is here bringin y0 gnads a funky article
f0 muh man ewheat in dat leet new bastard of an e-mag f0ngu. eye dont gno if 
any of you peepz have noticed it yet, but there seems to be just about a fucking 
new group at least every otha week. This to me seems very queer. and all of j00
who know me know eye beat queers on a regular basis. true, some of these new 
groups are just a combination of a group that is still alive with another group that 
sucked tests and should have never been formed in da first place, but fo da 
majority, most of the groups that are being formed today are being founded by:

1) some fag who made it to a SEMI-DECENT group so he thinks he's pretty hot
   sheeit and decided to make it on his own.
2) some guy who sucks FUCKING DICK and isn't getting into any groups, so he
   decides to start his OWN group to molest the scene even more

 now eye gno yer saying," dat nigga fah is right! i've seen groups even try to
get draers by publicizing da fact that ld! draws fo dem!" well, what da fuck!?
just because ONE good artist is in da group doesn't make the group bombodious. 
da same rule applies with every scene. even juarez! tonight a guy eye know who 
has been askin me for ascii's NON-STOP ever since eye did him one for his board
(he asked for one for his board, and i made the mistake of saying yes, so now 
he's asked me for shit for his h/p mag, and tonight for his warez group.)comes 
up and says, "Hey man. I'm starting a warez group, can you do me a .DIZ?" Well 
this bothered me a hack of a lot, and not just because he was getting really
annoyin asking me for .DIZ's whenever he comes up with something else he can
get ascii's for from nice guy's like me, but bec0z he wanted to start a group 
and I *KNOW* he had no reason to. The following text is the memorized log
of the things we talked about...

<HIM> Hey man. I'm starting a warez group, can you do me a .DIZ?
<ME> What!? Why the fuck are you starting a warez group!?
<HIM> So I can get free software
<ME> What the fuck!? Why don't you just get shit from DOD's releases and shit!?
<HIM> DOD??? And why not? Its just a couple guys trading software!
<ME> You don't even know who DOD is and you wanna start a warez group!?!? And
     what the fuck happened here? If its a WAREZ GROUP its a WAREZ GROUP. And
     if its just a couple guys fucking trading software its a couple guys
     fucking trading software! What do you have to offer the scene!?<BTW: I
     hope you read my intriguing article on the scene in this issue=)>
<HIM> Well, the group isn't even OFFICIAL yet! And if we're trading LOTS of
      warez<yea, lets of warez my ass, you haven't even heard of DOD!>why not
      let other ppl get it too?
<ME> So its a couriering group?
<HIM> Ummm, I guess.
<ME> What the fuck!? You don't even know what the fuck you are!? Oh yea!!<note
     the sarcastic tone>You *REALLY* put a lot of thought into this.
<HIM> I'm sorry I ever mentioned it<grumble> Now I'm going to go spank it in
      the closet with a thumb in my ass while I think of more pathetic things
      to ask you to do asciis for....

          get da picture? if your group will do absolutely NOTHING to
contribute to the scene, please, do us ALL a favahr and dont start another group
so that we have to go through a large list of files to get the latest trank!
pack off of some ftp site that actually still carries art paqs. it only makes 
life harder for us. and if your doing it to make yourself look cooler IT AINT
WORKIN! YER STILL THE SAME FAGGOT THAT YA WERE BEFORE! bAH! fuck dis! like this
will change yer mind anyways.. eat a dick...

                                                       fAHRENHEIT
                                                   tRANK!/bASIC/sUAVE
                                          <i didn't start any of those did i?>

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
woah, i'm a 0-day kid... woah.
- oh warez, oh warez... eye dream of yew -----------------------------3t/rts-

7:30 A.M.

        <BLINK BLINK> AWW MOM, YEW WAKED ME UP AT 7:30, ON A SUNDAY?  THATS
TOO LATE, MOM!!  MOM!!!  WHERE'S MY TIE?  WHERE'S MY POCKET PROTECTOR?  MOM!
I GOTTA GO TO CHURCH, PLEASE TAKE ME IN YOUR CARAVAN... MOM!!  HURRY UP!!!!
<SIGH> FINALLY, EYE WANT TO GO TO CHURCH.

7:45 A.M.

<CHURCH SHIT... ALLAH ALLAH, GOD GOD AMEN AMEN>

10:00 A.M.

        MOM, TAKE ME TO DENNY'S NOW, I WANT THE BIG BOY'S MEAL?  WHAT?  I
STILL HAVE TO EAT THE LITTLE BOY'S HAPPY MEAL?  AWWW MOM!!!  I WANT A BIG
BOY MEAL!  <GRUNT> <SIGH> ALLRIGHT, EYE WILL HAVE THE HAPPY MEAL, ONLY THIS
ONCE MOM, HEY, DONT YOU LAUGH, I'M AN ADULT, MOM... <GRR> NO, MOM, I'M NOT
BADMOUTHING YOU, MOM... NO, MOM I'M NOT MAD... WAIT... MOM, I DIDN'T MEAN TO
MAKE YOU CRY... AFTER ALL, I AM 18, YOU GOTTA LET ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS,
MOM... ALLRIGHT ALLRIGHT, I WILL EAT THE HAPPY MEAL, ONLY FOR YOU MOM.

<GRUBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE>

11:45 A.M.

        OKAY MOM, GO TO BED MOM, I'LL BE IN MY ROOM ON THE COMPUTER... GO TO
BED MOM, YES I DIDN'T FORGET MY BIBLE...

        ALLRIGHT, TURN UP THE JUICE, PUTER BOY... EYE LUB JOO COMPUTER, YEW
ARE MY BEST FRIEND... NO MOM, GOD IS MY BEST FRIEND... NOW GO TO BED, MOM...
JEESH... CD TM ... TM.... ATDT1-800-ZERO-DAY ... LOGIN STONER PASSWORD 
LSD... YEZ, MAH ACCOUNT STILL WERKS... IRC... /NICK STONER... /DCC CHAT 
WAREZBOT.... /MSG =WAREZBOT .INVITE STONER .... /J #WAREZ1 ... WORD
EVERYONE, UHH, I JUST WOKE UP... EYE AM SO STONED... I GOT SO BAKED LAST
NIGHT... HEY, WORDUP LSDSMOKE ... SMOKED ANY GOOD LSD RECENTLY?  WORD...
WH0RD.... YEAH... WH0RD... EYE SMOKED LSD TWO NIGHTS AGO, BUT THAT WAS TOO
PUSSY FOR ME... SO I DECIED TO SMOKE... WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD, I SMOKED... MAGIC
MUSHROOMS... YES... PHEAR ME, WH0RD WH0RD, I SMOKED THE SHROOMS... WH0RD.
ALLRIGHT, GOT ANY NEW WAREZ?  WOAH... POT-GROW.EXE?  WOAH, EYE GOTTA GET
THAT... THE WAY I'M GROWING MY POT JUICE ISN'T WORKING... I GOTTA LEARN 
MORE WAYS... /MSG POT-DCC XDCC SEND #1... WOW... 10 MEGS?  JEESH... <SIGH>
/SETAWAY eYE aM sTONED...

12:15 P.M. 

        <T.V. Flipping>


        Wow... Mr. Rogers Neighboorhood... oh, damn I've seen this one
5 times... god... that blows... ooh... barney... no... seen it... Wonder
Years... seen it... Babar... seen it... curious george... seen it... <sigh>
<pop in vcr> ALLRIGHT, THERE'S NO SUCH MOVIE AS WIZARD OF OZ... EYE PHEAR
WIZ OF OZ!  EYE PHEAR

1:45 P.M.

        Word, WH0RD, MAH DCC IS DONE... ALLRIGHT... HEY, WHERE DID POTBOY
GO?  DAMN... I NEEDED SOME 0-DAY SHIT FROM HIM... HEY, WORDUP LSDSMOKE...
WORD, YOU BEEN HERE?  WELL, I HAVEN'T... I WUZ SO STONED... I THOUGHT....
UM... MY HOUSE WAS IN A TORANDO... THEN I STARTED SEEING THOSE LITTLE 
MUNCHKINS IN MAH ROOM... YEAH, WEIRD?  WH0RD WH0RD, SHIT I WUZ SO STONED
MAN... WH0RD... WHAT?  WHAT DID I SMOKE?  NO, FUCK SMOKING, I DIDN'T SMOKE
SHIT, YES, PHEAR, I SHOT SHIT THIS TIME, PHEAR PHEAR WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD PHEAR
EYE SHOT ACID... YEZ, EYE DID IT... WHERE DID I GET ACID?  OF COURSE 
ACDU0396.ZIP, WHERE ELSE?  JEESH... STUPID LAMER THINKS HE KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT DRUGS... ALLRIGHT, NOW EYE'M GOING TO DOWNLOAD THE FILE... (DAMN
MY MIRC ACCOUNT GOT DELETED SO I GOTTA USE THIS SHITTY SHELL... GOD, SHELL
SUCKS, IT'S TOO HARD... JEESH)

1:50 P.M.

        <POPPING IN VCR>

        W0RD, EYE PHEAR... BAMBI... YES, EYE LUB JOO BAMBI, EYE WANT TO
BUTTFUXOR YOU, BAMBI'S MOM, WOO, YEW ARE SO SEXY... EYE WANT YEW, MRS. BAMBI
... WHAT?  <WAILING>  NOOOOO!!!  BAMBI'S MOM DIED?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<CRYING> BASTARDS!  <CRYING>  <SNIFF SNIFF> WORD, BAMBI MET A NEW BUNNY
FRIEND, WH0RD, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HE'S SO CUTE AND FUNNY, HAHHAHAHAHA EYE
WANT A DOLL JUST LIKE HIM... HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA HE'S SOOOOO CEWTE!!!!!  CUTE!!

3:00 P.M.

        W0RD, MAH DOWNLOAD IS DONE... WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD, EYE LUB 0-DAY
WH0RD... HEY, EVERYONE, I GOT SO STONED, EYE KILLED MY MOM!  YEAH!  WORD
IF I DON'T SHOW UP ON IRC TOMMORROW, THAT MEANZ EYE GOT BUSTED... ALLRIGHT?
YEW UNDERSTAND... <SNICKER>  HEY WHAT?  NO THE COPS ARE HERE?  NOOOO???
NOOOO, YEW CANT HAVE ME.... BYE GUYS, I GOTTA RUN FROM THE COPS, MAN...
/LEAVE #WAREZ1 /NICK ACIDBOY /MSG WAREZBOT IDENT WAREZWAREZ /MSG WAREZBOT
INFO YeW RoXoR MAH WORLD StonER, YeW WIlL Be MIzzED... /MSG =WAREZBOT
.INVITE ACIDBOY... /J #WAREZ1 ... YEAH YEAH, WORD, I KNOW STONER... YEAH
HE GOT BUSTED, I'M HIS NEIGHBORHOOD... YEAH I'M USING HIS ACCOUNT... REALLY.
YEAH... I CAN SEE HIM OUTSIDE... WOAH... HE'S YELLING, WOAH, HE JUST BEAT
UP THE COP?  WOAH HOLEE FUCK!  HE DID, HE BEAT UP THE FUCKING COP!  WORD!
I PHEAR... GIMME OPS... ALLRIGHT, THANKS POTBOY... /TOPIC STONER JUST BEAT
UP THE COPS... PHEAR THAT!  HEY, EYE'M GUNNA CALL THE LOCAL BOARDS AND 
UPLOAD THIS SHIT... WHAT?  HOW DID I GET IT?  I'M ON STONER'S ACCOUNT,
REMEMBER?  SO HEWK ME UP WITH THE AFFILS HE HAD... BECUZ I'M ON HIS ACCOUNT
I'M NOT HIM... DUDE, I'M NOT HIM!  YOU LITTLE FUCKER, I'M NOT HIM, DAMMIT
YEW THINK YEW ARE FUNNY?  DAMMIT... /BK FUNNYGUY wHO'z DA BoZZ nOW? 
H0H0H0H0H0H0H0H0H0 WH0RD WH0RD WH0RD PHEAR MAH ASS. BYE BYE GUYS... STONER
FOREVER!
/SI CALLIN' BOARDS.

4:00 P.M.

        ATDT 1-614-NOT-4YOU... LOGIN : STONER PASSWORD : WEEDWEED....
ALLLRIGHT, GOTTA TALK TO SYSOP ABOUT MY NEW NICK... PAGE. .... DAMN...
NOT THERE... PAGE.... PAGE.... PAGE... PAGE.... PAGE.... PAGE... PAGE...
ALLRIGHT FINALLY, IT'S ABOUT TIME, I ONLY PAGED YOU 2 TIMES, MAN... WHERE
WERE YOU?  ALLRIGHT, HEY DUDE, I HAVE A NEW NICK... IT'S ACIDBOY... YEAH.
PRETTY COOL, EH?  DONT TELL ANYONE THO... PLEASE KEEP MY UPLOAD STATS THO...
I DONT WANT TO LOSE MY RECORD FOR THE 1 GIG UPLOAD PER DAY... PHEAR... 
ALLRIGHT, THANKS A LOT, MR. WAREZ SYSOP... NOW LEMME UPLOAD.. BYE BYE...
I WILL BE STONED... SO WHO CARES!  HAHAH!  TA-DA BYE BYE

        UPLOAD... BLAH BLAH

4:10 P.M.

        <POP IN VCR> WOAH, PHEAR... EYE LUB TERMINATOR... MADE FOR TV...
CENSORED VERSION... DUDE, MADE FOR TV ROXORS... EYE HATE THOSE BAD R RATED
MOVIES, THEY'RE VERY BAD AND EVIL... I DON'T PHEAR...  WOW, EYE LUB 
TERMINATOR... PHEAR... THANK GOD THEY'RE TAKING OUT ALL THE BAD SHOOTINGS
N STUFF... THEY'RE NOT GOOD... ALLRIGHT, PHEAR...

        <WATCH WATCH GOBBLE POPCORN GOBBLE>

6:00 P.M.

        <LOGOFF> 1-800-ZERO-DAY ... LOGIN STONER PASSWORD LSD IRC /NICK
STONER... OH WHOOPS... /NICK ACIDBOY... /DCC CHAT WAREZBOT /MSG =WAREZBOT
.INVITE ACIDBOY... /J #WAREZ1 WOAH, I'M +O ON THE BOT?  WOAH, PHEAR... 
ALLRIGHT, HEY WHO CHANGED THE TOPIC?  /TOPIC STONER FOREVER, HE WILL BE
MISSED.  aLLRIGHT PHEAR...  HEY, I GOTTA GO TO BE.... A PARTY IN 20 MINUTES
YEAH, WORD, I WILL BE SO STONED, PHEAR THAT DUDE.  ALLRIGHT... WHAT?  MOM
IT'S ONLY 6:00 NOT 6:30, I DONT WANT TO GO TO BED... MOM, I NEVER SAID
BAD THINGS ABOUT GOD, MOM... OH FUCK... OH... NO MOM... DONT WASH MY MOUTH
WITH SOAP, PLEASE MOM NO, PLEASE... <CRYING> HEY GUYS I'M GUNNA GO TO THE
PARTY NOW, PHEAR ME, I WILL BRING A QUARTER POUND OF COKE WITH ME TO THE
PARTY, PHEAR... /SI EYE AM SO STONED.  NO MOM!  NOOOOO!  MOM!  DONT TURN
OFF THE COMPUTER, OH MOM... OW MY EAR, LET GO MY EAR... MOOOOMMMMMM!!!!
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scribble, fahrenhei, spook, ewheat.
