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        G R E E N Y  w o r l d  D o m i n a t i o n  T a s k  F o r c e
                              Presents:
                     "Censorship: The School Play"
                      by Lobo and Spanky McDougal, Sir!


     This is a play that we wrote for and performed in English class.  The 
theme was 'a problem that our society faces', so we chose censorship.  The 
play was to be ten minutes long, and we had to have costumes and a set.  Our 
group actually consisted of four members, but the other two did not actually 
do any of the script writing.

Characters:
Teacher (our teacher actually portrayed this character)
Billy (non-writer/non-droog)
Store Clerk (Spanky McDougal, Sir!)
Jello Biafra (Lobo)
Mark Twain (Spanky McDougal, Sir!)

                                    Act I
Scene 1
("School" is written on the chalkboard)

Teacher- Remember class, you all need to get a book for your book report by 
the day after tomorrow, tomorrow being a holiday and all.

Scene 2

("School" is erased, and "Store" is written in its place.  Some Dead Kennedys 
records are displayed, and a nice sign is out about how you must be eightteen 
to purchase them.  Billy finds a copy of "Bedtime for Democracy", and brings 
it to the clerk)

Narrator- Billy has gone to the local bookstore to pick up a book and find 
some music to help him enjoy his day off.
Store Clerk- You want to buy THAT!?!  Sorry kid, you gotta be eightteen to buy 
that trash!  Sorry, but why would you want it anyway?
Narrator- Billy is holding an album by Jello Biafra, singer of the Dead 
Kennedys, a group that sells records with a strong anti-government message.  
Jello is currently serving a federal prison sentencefor income tax evasion, 
but here he is now on his work release program.
Jello- I've been censored again!  The Man has put me in the pen, and I still 
can't get away from these evil government plots to stifle the minds and free 
will of the young people, like him!
(he points at Billy, while Jello finishes his speech, Billy looks around and
finally says:)
Billy- I need a book for my book report.  Have you got a copy of 'Huckleberry 
Finn'?
Store Clerk- Why would you want to read THAT politicallt incorrect sorry 
excuse for literature?!?  Don't you know that it's been banned from this 
school system?  It's pretty racist, ya know.
(Mark Twain steps out, looking a bit peaked, since he's been daed for awhile)
Narrator- And here's Mark Twain, fresh from the grave!
Twain- Here we go again.  People are always misunderstanding me! 'Huckleberry 
Finn' was written as a social outcry against slavery and racism, but its 
meaning has been distorted by power happy watchdogs who misunderstand the 
point of the book and cite as examples phrases much out of context.  Hmmph!  
The school board has no right to censor me because history is not politically 
correct!
Jello- What a bunch of pinko commie fascist pigs!  When a few appointed 
officials can decide what our kids should and shouldn't learn in school 
without consulting their parents, the government and all its twisted agencies 
behind a masquerade of democracy has finally hit bottom!
Twain- Well, I wouldn't go that far.  Some people might be overdoing it, 
banning the teaching of the theory of evolution because some people find it 
offensive and such, but for the most part it's not that bad.
Jello- But don't the kids like him have the right to choose what music they 
listen to?  It's just another government plot!
Twain- Children might not be responsible enough to choose appropriate or less
influential music, and adults can't really say that "he's responsible, give 
him a music license, but he's a hoodlum, so just give him a learner's permit". 
 So many shootings by young'uns have been blamed on violent rap music and such 
like that you can't really say that music doesn't affect people.  Sure, the 
music didn't make a kid shoot a policeman, but it didn't help!  By the way, 
the government doesn't censor people just to get at you.  A lot of special 
interest groups have put the pressure on, and everyone intends for the good of 
the majority.
Jello- Of course musice IS influential, but although our song "Holiday in 
Cambodia" does have a message, it doesn't mean that Cambodia is a nice place 
to vacation.  It might be though, I've never been there.
Twain- But how do you explain that to a teenage groupie whose only goal in 
life is to own a lock of your hair?
Jello- Well, I guess people really do have to make their own decisions about 
censorship.  In MY opinion, though, the government should just stay out of it!
Narrator- Their conversation continues, too long for one ten minute school 
play, no matter how brilliantly it's acted.  Finally, Jello wraps up with one 
of his favorite poems:
Jello- If you don't like the words I say,
Lock me up and throw me away.
Surround me with your panes of glass,
Censorship can kiss my....
Narrator(interrupting)- BUM!!!
(As Jello finishes the last line, he drops his pants and whirls around.  A
black censorship dot appears before anything can be seen.)
Jello- I'm not even really HERE, and they can STILL censor me!!
Twain- This just shows that sometimes censorship can be a GOOD thing.

                                   THE END


Note from the authors:
     As this play was written for school, there was no cussing, though there 
should have been.  We would like to thank Low Tolerance for the "poem" that we 
so blatantly stole from there song "Censorship".  If you can't tell what the 
last word of the "poem" is, think: what rhymes with 'glass' and is a synonym 
of 'bum'?  If you still don't know, you are very silly.  If you didn't know 
who Jello Biafra is before you read this, you are not worth wasting the time 
to explain.  Our only set change actually was just erasing 'school' from the 
chalkboard and writing 'store' in its place.  And of course, Lobo really did 
drop his pants, but the teachercensored him, making him wear shorts under his 
jeans.  Our performance lasted about five minutes, instead of ten, and we got 
a ninety-eight on it, which was the best grade in the class.


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copyright (c),1993 by Lobo and Spanky McDougal, Sir!
GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c),1993 by Lobo
All rights reserved to that Mean Green Dominating Machine

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