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         [  Old School Collection II  ]               [  By DIzzIE  ]


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Old School Collection II
by DIzzIE

this time he brings you these pieces:

   MAGIC BALLOON
   CAMPING TIPS
   CAT FUN
   GETTING RID OF THE BODY
   HERBAL SMOKES
   HITLER, THE GREAT
   HOUSE THRASHING
   FUN WITH NAILS
   SIMPLE REVENGE TECHNIQUES
   SHOCKER
   FUN WITH SMOKE BOMBS
   SODA BOMB
   HOMEMADE STINK BOMB
   WASTING THEIR TIME
   FUN AT THE BOOKSTORE

sooooo heeeeere we go! Hold tight folks, we're going for a ride!




MAGIC BALLOON
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Here is a nice fun activity for you to do on a boring day, any day in
fact. What you need is one of those big  plastic garbage bags. Next you
also need access to a high place, such as a roof. Then you need to fill
the garbage bag with as much vile liquid, or semi-liquid, as you can,
without breaking the baggie, not yet at least. Some suggested items to
put in the baggie are: excrement, piss, honey, soda, vinegar,
mayonnaise, mustard, alcohol, pickle juice, boiled eggs, hot sauce, oil,
and on... Then just close the bag, get on top of the roof, wait for a big
crowd of well-dressed people to pass, and let your magic balloon drop.


Email me at : xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

CAMPING TIPS
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Here are some tips to make your camping experience most safe and
enjoyable:

* Keep the tent doors and other openings closed at all times so nothing
  can get into the tent.

* At night pack all of the food away tightly in your car or tent, so no
  animals can get to the food, leave no food in the open as it will
  attract animals and insects.

* Tell someone where you are going camping and when to expect your
  return, so they can notify authorities if something happens to you.

* Don't wear baggy pants. Put the tips of your pants into your socks (so
  nothing [like ticks or scorpions] can crawl under your pants and bite
  you), and wear shoes that protect and comfort your feet.

* Keep your sleeping bags zipped during the day so nothing can crawl in.
  Before going to sleep take your sleeping bag outside and shake it a
  few times to make sure there's nothing in it.

* Keep your shoes inside the tent at night, and in the morning turn them
  upside down and shake them to make sure there is nothing inside.

* Make sure to bring a first aid kit with you on your trip.

* If you don't have any mosquito repellent you can cover your face with
  the soot from the fire or/and put a plastic bag around your head and
  make opening for the eyes, nose, and mouth.

* If you need to go to the bathroom, but there is no bathroom, do your
  business away from the campsite.

* When hunting wear clothing that doesn't stand out but blends in with
  the background.

* Always wear thick shirts with longs sleeves, thick long socks, and
  thick pants to avoid coming in contact with such irritable plants as
  poison ivy. When you get home wash your clothing.

* Keep a bucket of water (make sure it's water) near the fire at all
  times just in case it gets a little too big, and sets the overhanging
  tree on fire...

* Don't eat plants that you can't identify, even if they don't look so
  poisonous, and never eat any mushrooms, those cunning bastards can be
  very deceiving.

Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

FUN WITH CATS
WAYS TO KILL/TORTURE CATS
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Cats are the most annoying household pets (with the possible exception
of dogs). Here are some ways to have fun with those deceivingly cute
felines:

*NOTE*  Before performing most of those techniques it is best to give the
cat a mild sedative, so it will fall asleep for a little while, while you
"prepare" it. You can mix the sedative with the cat's food.

NOW:

* Put the cat in a metal garbage can and make sure the cat can't get
  out. Pour some gasoline in there (make sure you pour some on the cat
  too), then light a match :).

* Nail the cat's tail to the ground (while it's still attached to the
  cat).

* Tie the cat's hind feet together, watch it try to walk, laugh your ass
  off.

* Tape the cat's asshole shut and put some laxatives in its food.

* Make a noose, and hang the cat on a lamppost in front of the owner's
  house.

* Put two poles in the ground, tie each of the cat's legs to the poles,
  sort of like this: |x|. Then you can watch the cat squirm and try to
  break free. You can also start a fire underneath the cat...

* Chop off the cat's paws, so it just has four bloody pawless legs.

* Put the cat's feet in quick dry cement.

* Get a big water jug with a lid, fill it up 1/2 of the way with water,
  toss the cat in there, and lock the lid tightly. If the jug is clear
  you get to watch the cat try to swim.

* Put the cat in the freezer, hold the door so it can't get out.

* Put the cat in the microwave...

* Tie the cat's hind paws to something solid, like a tree, tie the front
  paws to the back bumper of your car. FLOOR IT!

* Skin the cat...while it's alive.

* See how flat you can make a cat: drop a big boulder on it, until it's
  almost completely flat.

* Put the cat in the toilet, sit on the lid, and flush repeatedly.

-Have fun kiddies!

email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

GETTING RID OF THE BODY
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

So you've finally killed someone (it's about time Junior!) and because
(unfortunately) most of us aren't cannibals you now need to dispose of
the body. There are two things you need to do before you actually get
rid of the body:

1) Check the body for any easily identifiable marks, such as tattoos or
   birth marks. Cut those off and dispose of them separately, by burning
   them or cutting the chunk of skin into very small pieces. Also take
   out and cut or burn any ID cards or photos the person has with him.

2) To conserve space it is best to get a sharp butcher knife or axe and
   chop the body into pieces no bigger than 6 inches, and chop easily
   identifiable parts, like fingers, into smaller pieces.

Now the actual ways to dispose of the body:

* Soak all of the pieces of the body in gasoline or other flammable
  liquid and put them in a big fire. Make sure that you do this away
  from other people as the smell will be very strong. If you keep the
  fire going long enough the bones will become very brittle and fragile,
  and once the flesh has burned away you can take a hammer and break the
  bones with ease into little pieces and then put them in a dark bag and
  toss it in the middle of some trash canister.

* Bury the pieces in the ground (make sure the hole is 5-7 feet deep).
  Do not bury them in your own backyard but in some place away from
  people, like in the midst of a forest or the outskirts of a city (not
  the city where you live).

* Put the pieces in a dark plastic bag, drop a couple of car (or other)
  air fresheners in there to hide the smell of rotting flesh, then put
  that plastic bag into another, and so on until you have about ten
  layers. Next tie the bag securely, pour some sticky liquid (like motor
  oil) over the bag to discourage people from touching it and looking in
  it. Put the bag in a big trash canister far away from where you live,
  once you put the bag in, pile some other trash bags on top of it, so
  it's not on top.

Well, you should be able to pick on of those methods, or come up with
your own "creative" ways.

Have fun kiddies!

email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

HERBAL SMOKES
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Are you tired of smoking those darn cigarettes? Well then waste your
money no more, I have found a healthy and tasty alternative. Smoke
teabags! They taste good, depending on what type of tea you smoke. It
will also be harder for people around you to find out that you smoke,
because the odor will be a pleasant tea-flavored one. You can take a
cigarette and take out all the bad tobacco and put in the tea, or just
roll some tea into a piece of paper.

Then just puff away! Yeay!


Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

HITLER, THE GREAT
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Before I begin there are two things that need to be said:
1) Hitler was a great man, 2) I am not a nazi. What Hitler did to all
those Jews, homosexuals, and others, is of course, inexcusable. The
problem is that most people are blinded by that aspect, that's the only
thing they see. When asked about Hitler they would reply "racist
dickhead, hope the fucker burns well." Yes, that's fine, but I want to
broaden your opinion, so your reply would be "racist dickhead, hope the
fucker burns well, he was a hell of a leader though."
     Hitler was a great leader, among other things. You must remember
that he started out alone. He had no followers. Basically he stood on a
crate in the middle of a street and started preaching his beliefs, and
people listened! Not only that, but they believed him and agreed with
him. From having zero followers to having well over a hundred thousand
followers, some who still believe his ideas to this present day
(neo-nazi skinheads, and others), is pretty impressive. You have to
wonder how he did it. You may say that some people were forced to either
accept his views or be killed. Yes, it was like that, but during the
later years. In the beginning Hitler had no authority, he just got out
of jail. What he did was pretty amazing. He discovered a brand new way
of getting lots of people's agreement. He invented, or perhaps
re-invented, the saying "blame someone else." Of course the mass public
agreed, why not blame someone else, like the Jews, everybody hates them...
     Not only did Hitler manage to get thousands of followers but he
also managed to setup a successful army, prison camps, and start a war.
Yes, I think that, no matter how evil, that is pretty amazing for one
individual.
We also mustn't forget what Locke said, that the people have the power,
they chose to give Hitler power, they could have taken it away, in the
beginning. Hitler did what modern politicians are doing right now: he
told a bunch of lies (and a few truths too), gained support, and then
began his tyranny.
     Hitler showed us, perhaps unintentionally, what so many
philosophers have been talking about, the power of the human will, and
the spirit of the individual. Hitler knew what he wanted, and he worked
hard to get it, he should be a role model for all. Remember: it is not
what his goals where, but that he achieved them (not his goals to make
the whole earth be anti-Jewish, he did come close to that though...), he
had will power, he went from nothing to everything.
     I shall close this short essay with one lesser-known fact of Hitler
that may spite and shock some of you:

Hitler was a catholic, and he made the cross be one of the most valued
treasures.

For any comments email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

HOUSE TRASHING
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000!

What is house trashing? House trashing is the wonderful art of breaking
into someone's house and completely trashing it. You shouldn't need a
phile on house trashing, as this type of thing should come naturally,
but we must remember that there are some "special" people who need all
the guidance they can get, so:

Materials:
Here are some things you should always have with you on house trashing
expeditions:
- Baseball bat (smashing things)
- Axe (chopping things)
- Knife (cutting things)
- Spray paint (writing on things)
- Flashlights (seeing things)
- Bottle of nonremovable staining liquid (for spilling on things), such
  as motor oil, soda, gasoline, cooking oil, melted lard, something
  along those lines, even dog shit!
- Gun (eliminating those who want to stop you)
- Gloves (to leave to prints)
- Hat (to leave no hairs lying around)
- Car (without license plate)/bicycle/fast legs (for fast getaway)

Trashing:
* First of all, make sure that no one is in the house and won't be
  coming back for at least two hours.

* Cut the power to the house to turn off any possible security alarms
  and to cause more damage for the residents of the house. There should
  be metal green or gray boxes around the side or back of the house,
  they should have cables coming out of them, those are probably the
  power cables, use your axe here. Sometimes there are cables coming
  from the "T"-like posts near the house, get those too.

* Enter through the back door or back window.

* It would help if you know the general layout of the house so you know
  where everything is, if not, you can use your flashlights to find your
  way around.

* If you have other people with you, everyone can get at least one room
  to trash, and then you all can trash the remaining ones.

* Smash the TV with the baseball bat, as well as the stereo system, as
  well as all the other electronic equipment.

* Pour some motor oil or other staining liquid of choice all over the
  carpets, beds, furniture, etc...

* Use the axe to chop up bookshelves, chairs, tables, etc...

* Knock down all the furniture. Knock down the bookshelves and rip all
  the books.

* Use your knife to cut chairs, mattresses, pillows, couches, etc...
  Spread all the cotton, foam, feathers, etc... throughout the house.

* If the walls are really weak use the baseball bat to make nice little
  holes in them.

* Spray paint messages of your choice (the more obscene the better) such
  as "I fuck dead animals for fun and profit" or "If you think what I
  did to your house was bad wait till you see what I'm going to do to
  you" OR if the people in the house have children: "Wait till you see
  what I'll do to your kid(s)." You can also spray paint pentagrams,
  crosses, or other evil symbols.

* Turn on all the water faucets and clog up the sinks.

* If there's a dog in the house you can shoot it, then get some nails
  and a hammer and nail it to a wall. Nail it by its 4 paws, and spray
  paint stuff on it.

* In the kitchen you can take all the food and splatter it on the
  ceiling and throughout the house.

* Don't set any fires or your masterpiece will be destroyed.

* In the bathroom get a couple rolls of toilet paper and spread it
  throughout the house.

* Use the axe to chop any doors to shreds (excluding the front door,
  because someone may easily spot you).

* Take the garbage from the trashcans and spread it throughout the
  house.

* Finally, as you are leaving, the last thing to do is to smash all the
  glassware (plates, vases, etc...) and to break all the windows.

* As you are running out give the mailbox a few swings with your bat.
  Then hop in your car and get the hell out of there! Remember the four
  goals of successful house trashing:

  1) Leave no incriminating evidence! (Meaning don't jack-off, bleed,
     shit, piss, loose hair, leave fingerprints, shed skin, etc...anywhere
     near or in the house. Also don't leave any of your "tools" lying
     around.)
  2) Be as quiet as possible!
  3) Get out as fast as possible!
  4) MAKE AS MUCH DAMAGE AS POSSIBLE!

-have fun kiddies!

Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

FUN WITH NAILS
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Nails are ever so much fun. Here are ways you can find the path to simple
amusement with simple nails:

*NOTE* When I say to put the nails "standing up" that means that the
sharp end should be sticking out from the ground. Also, sometimes nails
fall down so it's best to nail them through a board to steady them.

* Get some rusty nails and take them to the beach with you. Put them
  standing up in the sand, and in the shallow water.

* Put some nails standing up right next to a person's bed.

* Put some nails standing up under a person's pillow, "fluff" the pillow
  so the nails aren't noticeable.

* Nail a door shut by nailing some nails right in front of the door, on
  the ground. So when the person will try to open the door the nails
  will prevent him from doing so.

* Put some rusty nails standing up in the sand at playgrounds, you can
  also nail them through the plastic tunnels, stand underneath the
  tunnels and hammer the nails.

* Hammer a nail into a person's car keyhole, or house keyhole.

* Nail some lengthy, but thin nails through a wooden baseball bat
  (careful not to split the bat), and then go and smash somebody's face
  in.

* Spray paint the nails white and then superglue them to the bottom of
  the shallow end of the pool.

* Hammer the nails through a hated neighbor's water pipes.

* Get about 5 black cats or stronger firecrackers, tie their fuses
  together, then tape the black cats together, next attach about 10-20
  nails with tape to the black cat bundle, then light the fuse and run,
  you can toss the bundle in a crowded area for more fun!

* Superglue a nail to the seat of a chair and to the back of the chair.

* Superglue a small nail to the underside of a doorknob or a car door
  handle.

* Nail some animal's tail to the ground.

Have fun kiddies!

email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

SIMPLE REVENGE TECHNIQUES
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Yes, there are lots and lots of revenge files out there, but here are
some simple methods that I have not seen yet:

+ you will need to know some information about your victim, such as :
name, address, phone number, and email +

* You'll be surprised how easy it is to cancel or change a
  magazine/newspaper subscription. All you have to do is call the
  magazine/newspaper, tell the victim's name ("your" name) when
  prompted, and then tell the new address or cancel the subscription.
  That's it.

* Write your victim's phone number everywhere, add slogans such as "free
  queer phone sex."

* Call your victim at odd hours of the night, or got to the website
  www.mrwakeup.com, it is a free service that offers to call "your"
  house at any time, to wake you up, if you have a plane to catch. It
  also has a handy feature that can call every 5 minutes...I'm sure you
  see the possibilities

* If you know you victim's email address you can post it everywhere on
  the internet, especially in gay chatrooms and message boards, and
  subscribe him to different newsletters...

* Post the victim's phone number in chatrooms and message boards.

* If you know the emails of the victim's friends you can setup your own
  free email account with yahoo.com, or hotmail.com, and then send an
  email to all of the victim's friends saying that you are "mark"
  (replace with the name of your victim), and that this is your new
  email. So now you'll be able to read all the email his friend's send
  him, while your victim will wonder why nobody is emailing him. You can
  also tell his friends that "you" got a new phone number, and tell them
  yours, or somebody else's.

* There are many product offers that say "send no money now! We will
  bill you later." Take advantage of such glorious opportunities, and of
  course, use your victim's name and address. He'll be getting lots of
  stuff and lots of bills...

* Subscribe your victim to all of those mail-order music clubs (like
  Columbia records), and book clubs (like QPB paperback). He'll be
  getting monthly books and records, and monthly bills. Well, those
  things should be enough to drive your victim to mental instability.

-T0o0tles everyone!

Email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

SHOCKER
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Here's a really fun 'n' easy way you can electrocute and mess someone up
pretty bad (even kill them). The only materials you need are two wires,
some tape, and an electrical outlet (the thing you plug your stereo or
TV into...). The length of the wires should depend on where the desired
electrical outlet is, and where you want to place the wires to shock
your victim. Crisscross the wires together, leaving both of their ends
uncrossed (one end will go in contact with the victim, other will go
into the outlet), if the wires are insulated (have that plastic stuff on
them) then make sure the 4 ends of the wires are not insulated and
actually have the metal tips exposed (if not cut off the plastic
covering):

(crude ASCII pic) =<><><><><><| .

"=" the exposed wire ends that will come in contact with your target.
"><" crisscrossed wires
"<" the ends of the wires that will go into the outlet.
"|" outlet

Before you stick the wires in the outlet you need to turn off the
electricity in the house so that you wont get shocked because of your
clumsiness. Stick both (2) uncrossed tips from one end of the crossed wires
into the 2 holes of the outlet (the top 2 rectangular holes, not the bottom
round hole), one wire tip in each hole. Stick the wires in about 1 inch or
so. To make sure that they don't fall out put some tape over the outlet and
the wires. Next stretch the crisscrossed wires towhere you target will get
shocked. You can tie them to a metal doorknob,put them in the target's
pillow, in a chair cushion, by their bed, etc...You can even stretch the
wires under your shirt (wear a long sleeved one), and to your hand, placing
a piece of wood to block the wires' contact with your skin, then shake hands
with someone...Don't forget to turn the power back on. You'll know when your
victim got shocked by theloud screaming. Know that a standard Amerikan
household outlet will deliver a 110 volt shock, while one of those big
appliance outlets, like the type you plug a fridge or a washing machine
into, will deliver a 220 volt shock.

Enjoy! But not too much!

email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

FUN WITH SMOKE BOMBS
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

So you got some smoke bombs but all that ganja has made your brain a
little fuzzy, so you can't come up with anything to do with them? Well
never fear! DIzzIE's here! Here are some ways to amuse yourself:

* Toss a couple smoke bombs in the middle of a busy intersection, let
  the crashes begin!

* Set a couple off in a movie theater and yell "Fire!"

* If you see a house with an open window toss one right in.

* Creep up to a car with an open window and people inside, toss and run.

* Light some at large public events like parades, or town meetings, it
  helps if you add some nice phrases like "Fire!" or "Mustard gas!"
  or "We're all gonna die!"

* If you set one or two off in a classroom (don't forget to yell
  "Fire!") the whole school will be evacuated, and lots of fire engines
  will come. All-in-all, you'll miss at least an hour or two of school.

* If you want to waste firefighters' time (and therefore prevent them
  from putting out real fires :)) call in a fire, then run over to where
  you said the fire was and light a few smoke bombs. Once they arrive
  they can't blame you for anything, because you saw a lot of smoke and
  got worried, if anything you should be praised, remind them of that.

* Set a lot of them off in stores, and while there is a bunch of smoke
  and nobody can see you steal as much stuff as you can, and get out of
  there.

* Bring some on an airplane for all sorts of fun.

* Put one heads-down (so the smoke goes into the anthill) in an anthill.
  This will make all the ants run out, it's pretty cool to watch.
  That should be enough to start you off, you should be able to come up
  with more ideas, if you can't then you're one stupid fuck! Ahahaha!

-Have fun kiddies!

Email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

SODA BOMB
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Here's a simple little activity that will give you lots of joy, or is at
least a good time killer. Get one of those aluminum (12oz) cans of Coke,
or Dr.Pepper, or whatever, and shake it up, a lot, a whole lot. Then
toss the now "pressurized" can on a hard or jagged surface in the middle
of a crowd.
You can also use the big plastic bottles, but those need to land on a
sharp point. Or you can always tie a good ol' M-80 or firecracker to the
cans or bottles, to make sure they explode. Yup, nothing like tossing
some of those at weddings, or barmitsfah.

Enjoy.....but not too much...

Email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

HOMEMADE STINK BOMB
BY: DIzzIE (C)2000

Stink bombs, so easily assembled, yet so nauseating. There are many
chemicals you can mix that will produce a bad smell, but to get those
chemicals you have to go to some special store or find them on the internet,
and that's way too much work while you already have the stuff to make a
stink bomb in your very own kitchen (assuming you have a kitchen...). The
amount of materials to put in the stink bomb depends on how big you want to
make it (ex. 2 spoons of mayonnaise for a regular-sized stink bomb, the
whole can for a big one). Use common sense (know what that is?) when
rationing. You will need a jar with a firm lid. Add all of the following
into the jar [amounts are for an average-sized stink bomb]:

Mayonnaise (2-3 spoonfuls)
Milk  (1 cup)
Fish (1)
Cream of mushroom soup (uncooked) (1/2 cup)
Beer (1/2 cup)
Sour cream (1-2 spoonfuls)
Egg (broken) (1)
Canned sour lettuce (1 spoonful)
Sour pickle (several slices)
Urine (1/3 cup)
Water (to help mix things) (1/3 cup)

Don't worry if you don't put in a couple ingredients.
Now put the lid on and shake the jar for about a minute. Take the lid
off (or you can keep it on, if you must), and store it in a hot and/or
sunny place, preferably outdoors (like a balcony), for about a week or
two, then come back to it and take a sniff, if you feel your stomach
contents coming up your throat you have made a successful stink bomb!
Pour it wherever you want it to stink really bad!

-have fun kiddies!

email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

-----

WASTING THEIR TIME
By: DIzzIE (C)2000

This is a fun thing to try when you want to piss someone off, are bored,
or want to get someone fired. If you know someone who has a job such as:
car salesman, furniture salesman, virtually any kind of salesman, you
probably know that those jobs sometimes pay on the amount of sales made.
But we don't want any of those sleazy car salesmen getting rich, do we?

What you do:

* Go to a car dealer, or a used car dialer. Find your victim (one of the
  salesmen), tell him that you want to buy a car, but you don't know
  much about cars...He'll be happy to assist you. He'll show you one car,
  you'll spend a lot of time asking him every tiny detail about the car,
  like if it has a cup holder, or if the back seats can be taken out, or
  if it comes in green, or if it has a free cellphone with purchase, you
  get the point. When he's done answering your questions about that car,
  slowly stroke your chin with your hand and shake you head slowly, then
  say that you don't think this car is right for you because your inner
  spirit wont be comfortable in such a vehicle. Then go on to the next
  car. Keep this up for a couple of hours, or until the day is over. The
  salesman will probably start to get annoyed and start being just a tad
  bit rude, that's when you go to his superior... and somebody looses
  their job.

* You can use the above method with almost any sales job: you can make a
  furniture seller take you to every piece of furniture in the store,
  you can even occupy one of those telemarketers or door-to-door
  salesmen with pointless questions.

* For added affect, pretend to speak really poor English and make the
  seller repeat everything 5 times.

This is just one way to strike back at corporate America. It works
especially well if you get all your friends to come and do the same thing to
the same business every day for a month. You'll block all the
possible business they could have made and eventually they will go
bankrupt...

Also, nothing hurts a business more than an upset customer. By posing as
a seller and being rude to a customer you can make sure the business
gets a kick in the ass.
 
Have fun kiddies!

Email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com

-T0oOtles!

-----

FUN AT THE BOOKSTORE

Here are some ways to amuse your simple little mind at a bookstore:

* Get some books about homosexuality, coping with death, Satanism,
  overcoming drug abuse, dealing with divorce, etc... Then put the books in
  the Kids book section. Also put in some Playboy magazines.
* Ask the sales people if they have unique books with titles such as
  "Bestiality For Dummies" or "Kiddie Porn: The Complete Guide For
  Pedophiles." Come up with more obscene names and keep asking to "double
  check" for the books.
* Pick some expensive book and tell the sales person you want to order a
  hundred copies of the book. Give a fake name, address, and phone number
  (or the name, address, and phone of someone you hate).
* Come up to the manager and pretend that you're the author of some book and
  ask if you can "talk about your book" in the store. You can arrange a date
  and then either not come, or come and pretend(?) to be drunk. Say that
  you're some famous author so more people will show up.
* Get some lame joke book like "1,001 Knock-Knock Jokes" and start laughing
  hysterically.
* Take a bunch of books and magazines with you and then go and sit in a
  corner of the bookstore and start muttering things, an occasional scream
  will help too.
* Make flyers that say the bookstore is going out of business and all books
  will be discounted 75%. Put the flyers around town and set a date for the
  sale. Then come and watch a lot of angry people, help start a riot!
* Some larger bookstores also have stuffed animals for sale, like Winnie the
  Poop or the Telefuckies. Arrange the toys in sexual positions like "69."
* Get a bunch of magazines and take them to the other end of the store,
  pretend like you're reading them, and then leave, leaving the pile of
  magazines there. The employees will have lots of fun putting all the
  magazines back in the right place, especially if you scatter them
  throughout the store...You can make it a scavenger hunt by leaving vague
  notes taped on to the magazines that hint the location of others.
* Come in to the store with a big bag, go to the end of the store, pretend
  to be putting books in the bag and then run out of the store, laughing
  evilly, boy will they be embarrassed when you show them your bag has no
  books in it...

Have fun kiddies!
email me: xcon0@yahoo.com


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