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the
 _____________       ________             ___          ___
|             |     | _____  \           |  |      ___|   |  ___
|____     ____|     | |    | |           |  |     |___|   | /  /
     |   |          | |____| |           |  |      ___|   |/  /
     |   |________  | _______/ _______   |  |     |   |      /  _______
     |   |  ____  | |  ____  \/   ____\  |  |     |   |     \  /   ____\
     |   | |    | | | |    |  |  |_____| |  |     |   |  |\  \ |  |_____|
     |   | |____| | | |____|  |  |_____  |  |_____|   |  | \  \|  |_____
     |___|________| |_________/\_______| |________|___|__|  \__\________|

       ___________   _______  _________  _  _________  ___
      /   ________| /  _____\/         \| |/  _____  \|   |  ___
      |  |        |/  /      |  ____  \   |  /     \  |   | /  /
      |  |        |  |       | |    | | | |  |     |  |   |/  /
      |  |        |  |       | |    | | | |  |     |  |      /
      |  |        |  |       | |    | | | |  |     |  |     \
      |  |________|  |       | |____| | | |  |     |  |  |\  \
      \___________|__|       \________/\__|__|     |__|__| \__\

							newsletter

issue one - august 2nd, 1996. oh... to be like crank!@#
a BAD production

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	hi, I'm pixy.  this is a 'zine idea that i borrowed from black 
        francis.  it's about crank and how i want to be like her.

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

	in bF's i love crank newsletter issue one he stated crank's past 
	with relationships.  so many too!  with eightball and turbo and dead 
	cheese and aoxomoxoa and murmur and how she went for mogel.  but 
	now she's after jamesy.  jamesy was my best friend but not anymore 
	because of crank.  but i don't blame her.  i kick myself everyday 
	because jamesy went for me long ago but i turned him down in 
	respect for his girlfriend rachel.  but not crank.  if i only knew 
	how she would have handled it.  i could have been like her.

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

	here is a poem someone wrote for the beautiful crank.  it's called 
	crank 'n jamesy.

	"one day she met a guy
	who blasted her into outer space
	she cut his hair, made him fly
	and called him her little 'faceface'
	he said 'but what will my friends say
	when they see how i've been whipped?'
	she said 'don't think about that today
	just get your pants unzipped'"

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

 ___	this is me.  do i look like crank?  i'm trying to, please say i 
 | |    look like her.  oh, i forgot, no one is allowed to see her  
 |_|    pictures, you don't know what she looks like.
 _|_
  |
  | 
 / \	
/   \
me trying
to look 
like crank

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

	here's another poem that that someone wrote.  it's called skrank.

	"she wasn't mean, she wasn't rude
	but she was quite the skank
	she like to skr00 with every d00d
	so they wouldn't have to spank"

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

TTTTTT OOOOOO  BBBBBBB EEEEEEE  HH   HH EEEEEEE RRRRRRR    !! !! !!
  TT   OO  OO  BB    B EE       HH   HH EE      RR    RR   !! !! !!
  TT   OO  OO  BBBBBB  EEEEE    HHHHHHH EEEEE   RRRRRRR    !! !! !!
  TT   OO  OO  BB    B EE       HH   HH EE      RR    RR  
  TT   OOOOOO  BBBBBBB EEEEEEE  HH   HH EEEEEEE RR     RR  !! !! !!

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

	i got hair dye today since my hair is blond and crank's isn't.
        my friend said she can pierce me all over the place.  i got an 
	appointment with the tattoo guy next week.  by the end of the 
	month my name will be legally changed to alishia.  i just hope one 
	day i'll /join #zines and everyone will say "HI CRANK!@#" and it 
	will be for me.

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

	crank is moving to illinois to go to junior college.  she was 
	going to move here for phil but now that she broke up with him 
	she grabbed onto jamesy before she was all alone.  what a smart 
	girl!  i'm lucky, i already live in illinois, so i don't have to 
	follow her here.  i'll be just few hours away from her.  i think i 
	will visit her often. i hope i can get a guy or two that's she's 
	thrown away.

oh... to be like crank!

----+--+ crank!@#

	that's it for to be like crank newsletter issue one.  idea used 
	with permission from black francis.  and maybe you learned a thing 
	or two to be just like crank.  issues will follow when i learn new 
	and exciting things about the beautiful the talented crank.

	the poetry is not my own.  it, also, was used by permission.  the 
	writer would like to remain anonymous.  thank you.
	
--- "to be like crank" newsletter issue one ------------------------------
