
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #275 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Libertarians"                           !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Nybar                              !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/6/98                                  !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        This is a true life story.  I'll tell it first person.

        One summer there was this 15 year old ice skater, real fucking
 little idiot, and her mother, who is the stupidest person I have ever
 seen.  Anyway, she was giving me a ride somewhere or other when the
 conversation turned to politics.

        She started singing the praise of Pat Buchachan, and I merely
 innocently said "How can you like that fucking populist robber baron?",
 to which she replied, "Well, if you have another one of those little
 outbursts I'm turning this car around (into traffic?) and driving right
 back home.  By the way, I don't like that kind of language either."

        Later, she said that welfare was 85 percent of the nations
 budget, and I told her it was B.S. and asked her for a source.  She said
 "Newsweek.  It's a fact."  After that I calmly explained about how much
 of an idiot she was to her, and she actually TURNED THE CAR AROUND (well
 not into traffic), did a U-turn, and drove me home.  Ohh man, what an
 idiot -- that's supposed to be an *idle threat*, you tard!  I don't know
 how people like this even get driver's liscenses, too dumb to live.

         Anyway, I had to live with this person and her idiot daughter for
 a whole summer.  They even took my fucking room.  The way to get revenge
 on people like this is a slow, systematic revenge, not one act.  It
 started with a few relatively innocent pranks:  dildo in her purse during
 buisness meeting, tacs on the bed, urine in her apple cider, when finally
 I learned she had a boyfriend.  This was going to be my triumphant
 victory.  I kicked down his door, put a pillow over his head, knocked his
 head against the wall a few times to knock him out, and tied him up with
 leather ropes after putting him in panties and a bra.  Then, I continued
 by taking a bunch of pictures.  When he was finally awake, I started a
 tape recorder out of his sight, started whipping him.  The ensuing
 conversation went as follows:

        "Are you a republican?"
        "Y--" <CRacK(that's the crack of the whip baby)>
        "Are you a republican?"
        "Y--" <CRacK>
        "Are you a democrat?"
        "Umm, ye--" <CRACK>
        "Don't lie to me you swine, are you a democrat?"
        "Yes! YES--" <CRACK>
        "Fucking democrat, I hate democrats, are you sure you are?" <CRACK>
        "N-" <CRACK>
        "Then what are you?" <CRACK>
        "A libertarian!"
        "And what do you think about Pat Buchachan?"
        "He's an asshole!" <CRACk>
        "Ok, that was the last one, as a blow against PC thugs everywhere,
 and I've let you off.  Don't worry, I called the vice squad, they will be
 happy to save you from yourself."  <I switch the tape off.>

        "HAHAHA!  This will show you how it feels, fuckin Republican.  Oh,
 by the way, I'm sending the tape to your idiotic grrl friend.  See ya."

        The moral of this story?

        Libertarians:  We're not all wusses and vegitarians this
 time around.

 !!========================================================================!!

        This next story was inspired by the movie "Freaky Friday", which
 finally led me to speak out against idiocy.  And the Beefheart song,
 "White Jam".

        "But wait, there's more!" (hehe, shining force 2 rocks!)

 Nybar: "Look, gems."
 Barbara, the stupid woman: "Hm, I think I will put one on."
 Nybar: "Me too!"
 Nybar's Brain: <in a gerbil voice> "Nybar!  Nybar!  Be careful, these gems
                utilize the power of thought!"
 Nybar: "Well, then I have nothing to worry about from her..."

        Later, after the newest episode of Star Trek, Deep Space 9, Nybar
 is thinks to himself, "Hmm, I wish there was a way that I could masturbate
 nonstop for 2 hours."

        *vwooo*!!@@!..

 Nybar: <in barbara's body> "If I'm in her body, then... she must be in
        my body!!" Next saturday...

 Nybar: "Hm, I believe I prefer the kind of vibrator without wings...
        EeweeweweeAHAEHEH! That one was good."

 !!========================================================================!!
 !!    (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #275 - WRITTEN BY: NYBAR - 11/6/98    !!
