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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #547
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                    "A Love Story"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                by Caitlin
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               4/3/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        She lost her virginity the summer after she turned 15.  She never
 really regretted it, but then again... maybe it never registered
 completely.

        She met him in a not-so-unique way, for the '90's: The Internet.

        They frequented the same chat, she and he did, for whatever that
 was worth.  It was a teen channel, but it was basically just a group of
 friends from Canada, with a few other people from other parts of the US
 dispersed like dandilion seeds.

        She had a lot of friends in real life, actually... well,
 pseudo-friends, maybe.  She took refuge in her conversations online.  It
 was easier for her to tell complete strangers how she really felt.  Her
 deepest, darkest secrets (how cliche), she'd dilvulge, for a sometimes a
 meek "wow", "neat", "cool", "jeez!"... and then there was _him_.  We'll
 call him Eric, from Canada.

        She always considered herself a very 'spiritual' person, but never
 identified herself with any written religion.  It just seemed so harsh to
 her... maybe because her ideas weren't words.  they were feelings.  You
 know, like walking on soft, plush carpet in your bare feet...

        She never bothered to explain this to anyone really.  There's only
 so many things that words can say.

        She told Eric that.  He said he understood.  She believed he
 understood.

        Over a period of several months, they shared their dreams,
 fantasies, lies, and more.  then their chat had a little get together.
 She, Eric, and two other girls stayed in the hotel room.  She manipulated
 them, subtley, and got to sleep in the same bed with Eric.  Nothing
 happened.

        Once returning to her city, and home, she immediately went on her
 computer to try and quit thinking about Eric.  Guess what?  He was online.
 They immediately began talking about how much fun they had, and how much
 they have in common, about their souls.

        "...I know you may not want to hear this, ______, but... well... I
 couldn't sleep when we were sleeping next to each other... I had my arm
 around you the whole time...  I would pull it back, sometimes... I kept
 staring into your beautiful face... afraid you would wake up, and I would
 have to explain myself."

        Astounded, she told him that he should have said something to her.
 She had to say something, she wasn't ever one to hold back what she wanted.
 She had power with her words, back then.  She knew what to say, how to say
 it... she convinced him to come see her.

        He had gotten in a fight with his mother about this.  What does a
 20 year old man want to do with a 15 year old girl, his mother demanded
 from him... he left to see her, regardless.

        After drinking a few beers, they sat out in her kitchen.. him
 leaning against the kitchen counter.  Oh, she remembered it all too
 vividly.  His eyes filling with tears, asking her if she knew what she
 wanted to do with her life... and how he couldn't imagine being 5 years
 older, and he asked her if she could imagine being 20.

        "No..."

        "Well.... I mean... actually, can you imagine being 25? cuz ... I
 already consider you to be 20.... you're definately above that level,
 ______."


        She looked into his eyes and kissed him.  However awkward it was,
 it was the most meaningful kiss she'd ever given/recieved.He placed his
 hands on her hips, and they stayed that way, for however long.  He placed
 his hand on her breast, and then looked at her, with curiousity, and fear.
 She kissed him on the cheek, and he whispered...

        "I wish I could show you things.. you've never seen before... things
 you've only dreamed of.... dreams you've only wished..."

        She took his hand and led Eric into her bedroom...

        Her legs tightened around his head, tears of euphoria running down
 her face... it really was tragic, in a cheesy, soap opera sort of way.
 Arching her back, she moaned softly, after he stopped.

        "Did you cum..?"

        "no..."

        "Do you wanna.... you know...?"

        He had a condom in his back pocket and everything....

        It hurt for the first 30 seconds, then it was fine.  She layed
 there, and moaned when it would briefly feel good.  It wasn't a sexual
 experience to her at all, but she enjoyed it.

        "You're so beautiful, ________, you never cease to amaze me..."

        They cuddled together that night, and held each other.  At 8 in the
 morning, she woke up and found him staring at her with awe, or momental
 lust.  She fell asleep again for an hour, then woke up, and watched him
 sleep for a few minutes, until he woke up.  This continued until 1 in the
 afternoon, when he kissed her, and slid his hand between her legs.  They
 fucked again, and she made it the most enjoyable experience for him, since
 she didn't want to even get her hopes up this time for something.

        "_______, why are you the only one that understands me...?" he said
 to her, while they relaxed, sweaty in each others arms...

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #547 - WRITTEN BY: CAITLIN - 4/3/99 ]
