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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                           love
                           ----
  
who would have thought, that the world could be so cold.
  
  i was walking along a dark alley. the time had slipped
  away into the mist and all that was left was a slight
  bit of sanity and the urge to follow my soul. i came to
  a point of intersection. not knowing which way to take
  i flipped a coin. suddenly a man appeared from beyond a
  garbage can, "it's too bad the little things never
  mattered in the end!"  he shouted and then disappeared.
  not realizing it, the coin feel to the ground and
  landed hard on tails. i looked left and saw my world
  below the fingertips. "this way to your grave." said an
  old man wearing a top hat and a frown. behind me a
  naughty word was spoken, "love!  love!" and i turned to
  see myself, standing before myself in a robe of black.
  the man once again appeared from beyond the waste of
  humanity "it doesn't really matter anyway! both roads
  lead you to the same destiny!" fearing the man's words i
  turned to love and followed my soul beyond myself where
  i once stood. this time, life felt real, or was it the
  way the cold wind as it beat against my heart. i poured
  out onto a street where i plummeted against her.  she
  stood there in her long black gown with her long dark
  hair looking as beautiful as she did the first moment i
  ever laid my eyes upon her. "i miss you."  she said
  with a frown impaled across her skin. i wrapped my arms
  around her and took her home, took her to love. sitting
  down on her couch, resting her body across it's
  comfort, she said "thank you for being such a great
  friend." and my heart swooped into nothingness. i wish
  that my heart were a tangible thing, so that i may
  throw it into a pit a lava and feel it hurt. only then
  can i feel the amount of pain i receive from just
  thinking about your glory and my absence from it. i
  said thank you and excused myself to the bathroom. i
  put my hands under the sweet water emerging from the
  faucet and then rubbed them across my face. i looked in
  the mirror, water dripping from my form. "beyond what
  light lives greater men than i? but, in the darkness,
  they number in the thousands and do march about in my
  head." madness, that is the keyword for this life. the
  point at which nothing really seems and all seems at
  once. curling up my bleeding fist i march back into the
  living room which was empty to the breath. searching
  around i found myself in her bedroom where i saw my one
  true life long love laid stretched out against her
  stomach, resting on the bed. she was half asleep and
  could barely mutter "could you rub my shoulders?"
  nothing pleased me more than making her happy.  nothing
  on this planet fills me with more joy than knowing she
  is well. i crawled onto the bed and began exercising my
  strength into her muscles. my cold hands caressed her
  warm body with ever ounce of love i could muster. and
  her, just laying there as if she is just getting a good
  massage from her best friend while quickly falling
  asleep. "mmmm, this is so great, don't stop." she
  quietly moaned. "yes, my hands can bring pleasure to
  any woman, and my tongue more, and the rest of me even
  more, but my heart and love only bring distance and
  solitude." i said trying to bring some ounce of
  understanding to her. "mmmm.. ok..." she replied, not
  hearing a word i spoke. once she stopped responding to
  my hails i rubbed up and down her back once more and
  then a rabbit crawl out from behind the pillows "she is
  just a woman!" she shouted. "she has but flesh and
  soul! two things you can find upon the skeleton of any
  one of us!" "yes," i replied "but the world just seems
  so empty without this one, every woman i set eyes on
  fails to amount up to a grain of salt next to this one
  true love of mine."  i calmly replied.  "you are such a
  fool!"  cried a clown standing over my shoulder.  "LOOK
  AT HER! do you think she can actually develop one ounce
  of feeling towards you that you have towards her? NO!"
  and my heart sobbed. meanwhile the lizard gardener was
  whispering into her ear "...love you. so the time has
  come to decide the fate of humanity. feel his pain
  which is love, and feel your pain which is life. his
  pain and yours, when combined, could bring you so much
  happiness. feel the way he makes you happy now. you
  could feel like this for the rest of your life, the
  time he would spend with you, if you would only accept
  him." then the whispering stopped and in a flash as she
  awoke and turned to me in a fright, "did you here
  something?" she panicked.  "something about the way
  your tears fall to the earth?" and understanding became
  her. she looked at me with sad eyes and a tear rolled
  off her cheek. "i understand, but you have to realize i
  am forever alone. it doesn't matter if you are sincere
  or the best thing for me. all that matters is that i
  cannot get hurt any more. i cannot open myself up to
  someone, only to have them fill me with pain and
  suffering."  she said with sad lips. "i am not like
  that." i responded as i stood up, "i am not like that,
  and you will never know what you will miss because you
  never want to find out the pleasure i could bring you.
  as for me, i will always know what i am missing. never
  again will i know happiness as that which i feel from
  just glancing upon your face, or thinking about your
  beauty.  from now until the day i die i shall carry
  around with me a sad face, weighted heart and a
  tortured soul." i dropped a grey rose on to the bed and
  left the house never to return.
  
  years later, in a city far distant from the previous, i
  was walking along a dark alley. the time had slipped
  away into the mist and all that was left was a slight
  bit of sanity and the urge to follow my soul. i came to
  a point of intersection. not knowing which way to take
  i flipped a coin. suddenly a man appeared from beyond a
  garbage can, "i told you, only the foolish can be swept
  up by love, it leads nowhere but to a painful death
  filled with sorrow." i could only think about how right
  he was as i stared so coldly down the alley to my left.
  "it is time." said the old man wearing a top hat and a
  smile. so i began my walk down the path of death when i
  suddenly felt a gentle tapping on my shoulder.  quickly
  turning around i saw myself standing before myself
  again. "she is waiting." i said to myself. with not a
  moments thought i began running as fast as possible to
  my right. i feel out onto a street, looking up i saw a
  woman stare down at me and say "are you alright?"
  standing up i brushed myself off and replied with a
  "yes." then our eyes met and she stared hard into my
  bones.  "i have missed you."  she said with a sadness
  that only i could understand.  she kissed me with all
  the deep passion of love and the world feel to dust
  around us. we stood alone in the universe, just holding
  each other. my life for yours k, forever until the day
  i die. 
  
who would have thought, that the world could be so warm.
  
rage-303

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