                ,...
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 """                    """"""                                         """
 ggg                    "Open Letter To Gotahoe.com!"                  ggg
 $$$                             by -> Clyde                           $$$
 $$$                                                                   $$$
 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #991 -- 12/25/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	hello!

	i'm so nervous!  i've never written a letter to a web site before!

	let me introduce myself!  i am a literate, internet-using
 individual living and working in the san francisco bay area!  this is
 significant, so please remember this fact!

	recently, while taking the commuter "bart" train to work, i have
 noticed some new billboards on these train cars!  the advertisement
 billboards are white-on-blue, and seem to exist for the purpose of
 advertising a web site "www.gotahoe.com"!

	let me point out at this time that your "dot com" strategy has
 failed!

	due to the nature of my perhaps perverse personality, i look at a
 web site address like "www.gotahoe.com" and can't help thinking that it
 means, "got a hoe?"!

	but when i go to your web site, i see nothing at all about
 prostitution!

	and truly there are many--possibly a number in the hundreds or
 thousands-- who are exposed to this advertising on a regular basis who
 think just like i do!

	haven't you done any research!  didn't you gather the panel of
 average bay area residents in a room, stood behind a fake mirror, and
 watched the reaction as the advertisement is introduced!

	apparently not, my friends!

	so, let me introduce you marketing geniuses to your new friend,
 the hyphen!

	many e-commerce businesses these days have already discovered the
 hyphen as a powerful and effective way to properly align words within an
 "internet domain name"!  unfortunately, you are not one of them!  so
 watch as i carefully hyphenate your web site address, automagically
 removing all doubt as to its meaning!

	www.gotahoe.com -> www.go-tahoe.com!

	now!  you may be asking yourselves, "what should we do, now that
 we have two registered domain names?"!  let me tell you!  first, while
 your e-customers migrate to the new hyphenated domain name, redirect all
 traffic from gotahoe.com to go-tahoe.com!  then, once people get the idea
 and will never--i mean never, ever, ever!--type the website address
 "www.gotahoe.com" in again for the purpose of weekend getaway vacations
 (now take note!  you will need to do some heavy coordination with your
 marketing department!  if you are the marketing department, then you are
 or should be in deep shit!) then you can open a new line of business!

	this new line of business will be a complete, e-commerce solution
 for purchasing the services of a prostitute, all online!

	first, take pictures of your prostitutes!  this should not be
 hard, as you already seem able to take pictures of a lake!  then, set up
 shopping cart software!  allow people to click on pictures, and add these
 ho's to their shopping cart!  i would suggest implementing one-click
 checkout!  if you can't figure out why, you shouldn't be in the sex
 industry!

	now, i have a copyright on this idea, but i don't have the
 high-quality, eye-catching domain name for such a web site, like you
 happen to have!  call me and maybe we can work something out!

	anyway!

	let's get back to talking about lake tahoe, shall we!  upon
 reviewing the content of your fine, ultra-fast web site, i did find
 exactly one example of proper hyphenation!  for example, on the web page
 located at http://www.gotahoe.com/winter/winterfs.html i have found a
 listing for the phone number 1-800-GO-TAHOE!  here is a case where you
 have truly succeeded in cyberspace with punctuation!  throw yourselves a
 party!

	see, you can do it if you try!

	by the way, i hate snow!

 love, clyde

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!              HOE #991, BY CLYDE - 12/25/99 ]
