
                                $$$$$$$$$$$
                                $$$$$$$$$$$   hogz of entropy #200!
               $$$$$P           $$$$   $$$$  moo, oink, up your butt.
               $$$$P            $$$$  x$$$$
               $$$P             $$$$ xP$$$$      d$$$$$$$$$$$.
               $$$.             $$$$xP $$$$     $$$$$$'  >$$$$
               $$$$$$$$$.       $$$$P  $$$$     4$$$$$. .$$$$'
               $$$$'`4$$$b.     $$$$   $$$$      4$$$$$$$$$P'
               $$$$b  4$$$$b.   $$$$$$$$$$$       4$$$<          %%
               $$$$$b  4$$$$$x  $$$$$$$$$$$        4$$$$$$$$$    %%

                               >> "Hubris" <<
                           by -> Various Artists

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 "Introduction Thing"
 by - Mogel

        I generally hate self-involved, analytical editorials in text
 files, thanking everyone for their support and talking a lot about
 themselves and blah blah -- who cares?  The truth of the matter is I'm going
 to do it anyway.  Why?  Because I like to hurt myself.  It's very 90's.

        h0e in its present incarnation is a wonderful revival of something
 that should never have been revived -- dumb text files.  But we're Better
 than that, because we're well aware of the stereotype.  In fact, we bask in
 the stereotype, displaying our exposed silliness for the whole world to see!
 Yeah!

        As many of you know, I actually ended h0e back in the early summer
 of 1995 at issue #90.  About a month later, Pip the Angry Youth released h0e
 #91 just to piss me off.  Little bugger.  Well over a year later, Metalchick
 submitted (as a joke) a text file for the e'zine DTO for the purpose of
 getting "ops" on the IRC channel #dto.  Instead, I invited her to be the new
 president of h0e, and she gleefully accepted.

        It was history.

        She released another 7 issues over the course of a few months, and
 then retired the position of President of h0e so that she could hang out in
 New Jersey.  We'll never quite understand this.

        At any rate, I decided that h0e would be a nice place to release
 funny-but-not-publishable DTO reject files for the first 30 or so issues.
 That was to be its purpose, at first, except then people actually started
 writing and caring specifically about the e'zine h0e.  This amount of people
 might be about 3 or 4, I lost count.  But the fact remains, it's funny as
 hell to release this stuff, so I really don't care if no one in their right
 mind would ever read it.

        The NEW h0e is genius.  Pure and simple.  Expect another 200 issues
 coming your way... and at the current rate of release, this could happen in
 a few weeks.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

                     The Official Staff of h0e e'zine
                     --------------------------------

                           President -- Mogel
                      Vice-President -- Styx
                           Spokesman -- Jubjub
                           Treasurer -- Murmur
                           Secretary -- Ilsundal
                          Translator -- PezMonkey
 Director of Big, Warm, SQUISHY Hugs -- MoonBagel
             Director of Pure Hatred -- Quarex
    Director of Monsters and Goblins -- Aster
       Official Sex Ring Coordinator -- Kraftwerk
     Foreign Relations Correspondant -- Swisspope
       Head of the Board of Trustees -- Metal Chick
                 Official h0e Mascot -- (???) c0uld be y0u!#@#

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 MISCELANEOUS ASCII ART
 ----------------------

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 "L. Ron Hubbard, Philosopher"
 by - Mogel

 ____________________________________________________________________________
 |                    |               |                                     |
 |   "SUP!!!!!!"      | "IZ LYK WTF?" |               '          "Help! I'm |
 |      .....         |         |     | -\\\ `  ###   ,///-       Exploding |
 |     \|||||/        |         '     |   \=\\ (X.X) ////=/   `      into a |
 |     /._ _.\        |   !!!         |    =\=\\`O'\/////=/=/    giant mass |
 |    | <# #> |       |  (#.#)        |    =\=\==(~~)=/=/=/=  '          of |
 |     \  ^  /\       |   `o'\\       |   =\==\=\=| |==/===/===   horseshit |
 |      `(_)'\``\     |  \>--(O)--</  |      //=\//\\==//\\\  `      for no |
 |   ._>     ,'  `._  |    _/{o}\_    |      ' `/ `\\\--\//--=  explainable |
 |    ||    (  /^\  ) |  mm/     \mm  |                           reason!!" |
 |_____\\___|_|_._|_|_|_______________|_____________________________________|

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 "Comrade-comrade <meets> Mister Martini"
 by -- kaia
                                                
         *   *         
        * no. *                     o   o        O     o    o
         ^. *                     O MARTINI.  WANT  TO DANCE? O
 \\  Y.     /                       O   o   O  o o o   O    O
  \\+*_*+  /                                 o _____
   \\_   _/     _()         (((((((((((((((((( x_x   )))))))))))))))))))
      | |   _O  9      ((((((((((((((((((     ` O '        ))))))))))))))))))
     o| |o     ^^^^         ((((((((  (((((  ((  ( )  ))  )))))  ))))))))
  O--- _ ---O              ((((((((  (((((  (( (  -  )  ))  )))))  ))))))))
    -----                ((((((((     ((((   (    #     )  ))))     ))))))))
                                {\{\{\{\{\{\{     |      }/}/}/}/}/}/
  we'll skank to anything#$@              ___\\  _|__ _//___
                                          ======== =========

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 Swiss Pope Presents...

               What Would Happen if MTV's 12 Angry Viewers
               Acted like Indie Rock Elitist Music Critics

  ______________________________________________________________________
 |                                                     |                |
 | so guys, what do you think of poop daddy's new song |                |
 | "jiggin it up '98"                                  |                |
 |                                                     |                |
 |-----------------------------------------------------'          ...   |
 |                                   |                           ////\  |
 |   (|||)                           |     it's fucking         //// \\ |
 |  (     )   clearly this video     |  ridiculous!@# the last  ///  \\ |
 |  ( . . )  punctuates the reckless |  poop daddy 7" was on    <.o o.> |
 |  (  >  )   yet carefree attitude  | slut ho records in which `. , .' |
 |   ( _ )  / of the urban gangsta   | the production value      | o |  |
 |    \_/  '  machismo simply stated |  made it _marginally_  ,   \_/   |
 |   ., ,.     as 'jiggin it up',    |  listenable, at best.   \  .|.   |
 |  .|   |.     perculating . . .    |                           /   \  |
 | / |   | \                         |                           || ||  |
 |___________________________________|__________________________________|
 |                                   |                            ___   |
 |   (|||)                           |                          .#####. |
 |  (     )   ahem. the last 7" was  |   hmm. well _i_ thought  ##   ## |
 |  ( . . )  not on slut ho, it was  |    that song sounded     #     # |
 |  (  >  )   on ghetto blaster, and |     pretty cool.         | o o | |
 |   ( o ) ,/ i might add that m.c.  |                          |  .  | |
 |    \_/      crackmastah did a     |                     \    |     | |
 |   ., ,.      superb job mixing.   |                      .    \ - /  |
 |  .|   |.                          |                            (_)   |
 | / |   | \                         |                          __| |__ |
 |___________________________________|_________________________/_______\|
 |                                                                      |
 |                                                                      |
 |                (    he     )                               ___       |
 |               (  obviously  )        ...                 .#####.     |
 |   (|||)      (  has no idea  )      ////\                ##   ##     |
 |  (     )    o (  what he's  ) o    //// \\               #     #     |
 |  ( > > )  o    (  talking  )    o  <.p p.>               | o o |     |
 |  (  >  )        (  about  )        `. , .'               |  .  |     |
 |   ( _ )                             | o |                |     |     |
 |    \_/                               \_/                  \ - /      |
 |   ., ,.                              .|.                   (_)       |
 |  .|   |.                            /   \            .   __| |__   . |
 | / |   | \                           || ||             \ /       \ /  |
 |______________________________________________________________________|

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 "this really, really isn't funny"
 by - whoops

    __________________________________________________________
   |                            |                             |
   |                     mmmm   |                     mmmm /  |
   |  --                | oo|   |               --   |>)@| -  |
   |---- >O             | > |   |              --- >O| > | \  |
   |  --                |_\/|   |               --   |_0_|    |
   |                     _|_    |                     _|_     |
   |   __________       /   \   |                    /   \    |
   |__/Hey Mr!   \      \_\\_\  |                    \_\\_\   |
   |  \Watch Out! |      | ||   |                     | ||    |
   |   \_________/       | ||   |                     | ||    |
   |                     |_||   |                     |_||    |
   |                      LL    |                      LL     |
   |____________________________|_____________________________|
   |                            |                             |
   |                     mmmm   |           _____     mmmm    |
   |      ______        | o-|   |         /'Tis   \  | oo|    |
   |     /      |       | > |   |        | only a  \ | > |    |
   |___/ Gosh!  |       |_o_|   |        | fish     >|_O_|    |
   |   \   I'm  |        _|_    |        | wound.../  _|_     |
   |     \sorry!|       /   \   |         \_______/  /   \    |
   |       \____|       \_\\_\  |                    \_\\_\   |
   |                     | ||   |                     | ||    |                                 
   |                     | ||   |                     | ||    |
   |                     |_||   |                     |_||    |
   |                   >O LL    |                   >O LL     |
   |____________________________|_____________________________|

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 "I Stayed Home From School Today..."
 by Captain Bovine

    .----------------------.--------------------.------------------.
    |                      |     .^--^.  i'm a  |      .oO.        |
    |        (__)          |     | oo |   bear  |      |  <        |
    |  \-----|..|  i'm a   |    .-\../-.        |     __\/__       |
    |  ||--||`..'   cow    |    ||    ||        |       ||         |
    |  ||  ||              |    ||    ||        |       ||         |
    |                      |     |....|         |       ^^         |
    +----------------------+--------------------+------------------+
    |                  .^--^.       .Ox.        |                  |
    |        (__)      | oo |       |  <        |        (__)      |
    |  \-----|..|     .-\../-.     __\/__       |  \-----|..|      |
    |  ||--||`..'     ||    ||       ||         |  ||--||`..'      |
    |  ||  ||         ||    ||       ||         |  ||  ||  god     |
    |                  |....|        ^^         |           dammit |
    +----------------------+--------------------+------------------+
    |                      |    .^--^.  ducks   |          .Oo.    |
    |       (__) the duck  |    | oo | shouldn't| quaaaack >  |    |
    | \-----|..| is stoned |   .-\../-. do drugs|         __\/__   |
    | ||--||`..'  again    |   ||    ||         |           ||     |
    | ||  ||               |   ||    ||         |           ||     |
    |                      |    |....|          |           ^^     |
    +----------------------+--------------------+------------------'
~~
   .-----------------------------------.----------------------------.
   |                                   |                            |
   |                 I just found out  |                            |
   |    .@@@@@.      that if you add   |    .@@@@@.                 |
   |    | o o |      75 to the ascii   |    | o - |     This is the |
   |    | _'_ | ---  equivalent of     |    | _'_ | --- happiest day|
   |    `-----'      each letter in my |    `-----'     of my life. |
   |.-------------.  name, it makes a  |.-------------.             |
   ||             |  really cool       ||             |             |
   ||  |       |  |  symbol!!!!!!!!    ||  |       |  |             |
   ||  |       |  |                    ||  |       |  |             |
   ||..|.......|..|                    ||..|.......|..|             |
   `-----------------------------------'----------------------------'
~~
   .---------------------.---------------------.--------------------.
   |  O  hey ascii     O |  O  what are      O |  O               O |
   | -|-    man!!      |\| -|-  you doing?!  |\| -|-              |\|
   |  |                | |  |                | |  |               | |
   | / \             --' | / \             --' | / \            --' |
   +---------------------+---------------------+--------------------+
   |  O                O |  O  why won't     O |  O  i hate       O |
   | -|-               |\| -|-  you answer   |\| -|-   you!!!     |\|
   |  |                | |  |     me!?!      | |  |               | |
   | / \             --' | / \             --' | / \            --' |
   +---------------------+---------------------+--------------------+
   |  O  you           O |  O                O   that's right!      |
   | -|-  fucking      |\| -|-  !?@#!        |\     i am!           |
   |  |    asshole!    | |  |                |.--.O                 |
   | / \             --' | / \             --')  |                  |
   `---------------------+------------------------------------------'
      [oh come on.. like it's never happened to you before - CptB]


~~

                       Which of these would you eat?

                         (__) <-- unprocessed steak
                   \-----|oo|
                   ||--||`..'   @
                   ||  ||       |'  <-- flower

~~
               .-------------------.-------------------.
               |                   |                   |
               |       (__)        |       (__) damn   |
               | \-----|**|        | \-----|**| right  |
               | ||--||`..'  @     | ||--||`..' i'm mad|
               | ||  ||      |'    | ||  ||            |
               |                   |                   |
               `-------------------`-------------------'

 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                      an ascii depiction of my hard cock
                    being pressed with such strain against
                a tight pussy that it's bending in the center
                    and my hairless balls have goosebumps

                                    - styx


                                        
                                    / / \ \
                                 /           \
                               /               \
                              /                 \
                             /                   \
                            /                     \
                           /                       \
                          /                         \
                         (                           )
                          \                         /
                           \                       /
                            \                     /
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   |
                             |                   /
                            /                   /
                           /                   /
                          /                   /
                         /                   /
                         \                   \
                          \                   \
                           \                   \
                            \                   \ 
                             \                   \
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                              |                  |
                 ...........  |                  |  ...........    
                .           . |                  | .           .
               .             .|                  |.             .
              .               .                  .               .
             .                .                  .                . 
              .               .                  .               .
               .             .                    .             .


 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 "The Story Jammy Thing"


        I'd just like to mention that this story is quite possibly one of
 the most absolutely pointless things h0e has done.  And that's saying a lot.

                                                -- Mogel

 --------------

 [Quarex]

        "Strike a pose!", screamed Joe, slicing his razor-sharp blade again
 and again through the loaf of sourdough.  Having carved himself a few very
 choice slices, his task was nearly complete.  Only one thing remained: the
 fillings.  Joe carefully extracted his third and fourth molar from each side
 of his mouth, placing them inside the bready vault.  "I hope you have better
 luck than I shall," Joe said at length.

 [MoonBagel]

        ...and the glowing, sparkly, glorious magic that was Joe's Sandwich
 burst forth into the universe, tickling the moon, licking the stars, and
 doing terribly naughty things to pets all over.  Dachsunds and Cairn
 Terriers and various kitty cats and terrapins and lampreys and little
 froggies all over Nebraska made a nasty-mad dash in Joe's general direction,
 to see if they could find out just what was going on.  They did not like
 this naughtiness, though they now found themselves inexplicably fond of
 sourdough.  The supply of dough in the midwest went fresh, and pets
 everywhere revolted.  Joe sat back in his plastic butt-sticking chaise
 lounge, and pondering the craziness that was ensuing.

 [PezMonkey]

        And as he pondered such craziness, he ate his Sandwich, slowly and
 skillfully.  Sandwich eating, like, sandwich making, was, after all, an art.
 He was reveling in the wonderous pleasures of the bread when who should
 happen upon him but God (wearing green, because God, obviously, is fond of
 green).  God demanded, "Joe, you pose striker, you, why have you only made a
 sandwich for yourself and not for me, master of the universe!?"  Joe tried
 to think of how to respond to such a question from God, but all he could
 think was, "Isn't He-man master of the universe?"

 [Skinhorse]

        Joe had always been one to say the first thing that popped into his
 head before actually thinking about the potential implications, although it
 wouldn't have mattered much, given that God in the Western sense is an
 omnipotent being who can read human's minds and who gets a big fucking
 hard-on by putting his children in situations where he can find an excuse to
 kick the all-powerful shit out of them, and this story will presumably be
 read by someone with a traditional sense of the WESTERN GOD, thus, altering
 the Big Guy's image significantly would really fuck with the reader in ways
 that would not be as self-consciously coy or pseudo-humorous as this load of
 mad-libs tripe. Joe's absent-minded recall of 30-minute infomercials for
 Mattel toys of the early 80's had given our Lord the opportunity to "incur
 his wrath." With a shower of sparks and flames, Joe found himself in the
 company of a young girl. "Who are you?" he wondered aloud as God put on one
 of those really threatening Vincent Price-style laughs like you might expect
 in Michael Jackson's _Thriller._  "I'm Aster," responded the prepubescent,
 to which she added, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

 [Swiss Pope]
	
        This was the scream that was heard around the world.  Millions felt
 the audio assault of the Aster's siren song, which led to famine in
 Antarctica, and forest fires in the Sahara desert.  But the worst victim of
 this scream was our beloved hero Joe, who promptly shit his pants.  Aster
 cackled with glee upon whiffing the aromatic aroma of Joe's poopy poo.  She
 blew upon her poophorn, which existed for this very purpose: to summon a
 creature more vile than ever imagined by a human being.

 [Art]

        Joe cringed in terror, for the monster Aster had summoned was none
 other than the ghost of DIANA, PRINCESS OF WALES.  With a furious snarl,
 Di leaped for Joe's throat! Bellowing out an inarticulate scream of terror,
 Joe slapped the com-link on his breast and yelled "Bridge, beam me up$#!"
 With a blinding flash of light, our sandwich making hero flashes heavenward,
 narrowly escaping certain doom. 

 [JubJub]

	Joe is beamed up to the bridge of the Star Trek enterprise, where
 there is an orgy in progress. "ahh.. excuse me," Joe says as he makes an
 escape from the atroscious scene.  Wharf naked is not a pretty site.  He
 took a walk to the holodeck where he started to program in a fun adventure.
 He pondered his annoyance at mogel for always pressuring him to write bad
 stories against his will...


 [Captain Bovine]

        The stories would have to wait, however, for now it was time for fun!
 Stepping through the holodeck doors, Joe could hardly contain himself; this
 program would be the best program yet! As the doors closed behind him,  Joe
 began to suspect something was terribly wrong.  Instead of finding himself
 in a scantily-clad amazon paradise full of buxom scantily-clad midgets, Joe
 found himself in an episode of Three's Company. He frantically searched
 through his purse to find the remote control that would take him away from
 it all.  As he hit the Channel Up button, Joe had the sinking suspicion that
 *someone* had sabotaged his program...

 [Kaia]

        So as he moussed his hair into a cowlick like Alfalfa's in The Little
 Rascals and strutted into Wall Drug to find out who had stolen all the
 batteries from the 235 remote controls he owned, he was tackled by ROBERT
 SMITH of the cure, screaming and sneezing, "Atreyu!$!@1"  "I'm not Atreyu,"
 Joe said, handing ROBERT SMITH a packet of Cold-Eze, "I'm Bastian."  Robert
 Smith said, "Oh, as in Bastian of Kindness?" then was overcome by anthrax,
 and coughed up a lung.  It was adorned with crosses and various other
 symbols that burned his eyes to see.  "No," Joe said, handing ROBERT SMITH
 his lung back, "I'm Bastian of THE NEVERENDING STORY, and now you're a part
 of this neverending story, and I'm a part of it, and every reader of this
 goddamn text file is a part of it!  THE NEVERENDING STORY will live on and
 on like bunnies in heat!"  "Well," said ROBERT SMITH, readjusting his
 innards, "_I'm_ Bastian of I'M DUMB@!$!@" and Joe was overcome by anthrax,
 too.

 [Murmur]

        Fortunately for Joe, he was a seasoned veteran of Headbanger's Ball,
 and being overcome by Anthrax wasn't really an issue, because it's not as
 though Anthrax were the Stone Temple Pilots or anything that didn't really
 belong on Headbanger's Ball in the first place.  Joe considered it very
 unfortunate that his formiddable years were all during the Reagan years,
 when American society reached its low ebb of redeeming qualities. Joe
 realized that he was not very pleased with the current state of the world
 around him, though; not only were decapitated elk strewn across the barren
 Arizona landscape, but the universe seemed less like anything More had
 envisioned and more like an undying failed game show hosted by Wink
 Martindale and featuring bonobos for panelists.  Indeed, there was little to
 live for, and everything to splendor in, for it was the Thai Year of
 Splendor, and Joe had amassed an oh-so-impressive stack of 14 Splendor
 Cookies, redeemable in all states and countries, subject to local laws and
 punishable by intestinal inflammation in the presence of the Moody Blues.
 Realizing that he could not lose his search for a quest when he was in fact
 sitting down and indeed not searching in the first place, neverminding the
 fact that there was no quest available to be searched for on this side of
 the cosmos, and furthermore convinced that he disliked his chair and had no
 desire to sit and watch the demons engulf his very psyche, Joe hit the
 "pause" button and retreated to the kitchen where he had a nice stash of
 popcorn waiting.

 [pagenwait]

        While in the kitchen, he searched in the refrigerator for his
 popcorn, because where else would someone keep their popcorn?  Instead of
 finding a nice buttery glob of fattening goodness, he found a loaf of
 sourdough bread.  "Now this seems familar," Joe said to himself, "haven't i
 done this before?  Oh my god!!  I'm experiencing deja-vu!!!  So what happens
 next?" Joe looks inside of the sourdough, and sees not his famed George
 Washington wooden molars (tm), but a little gray dragon-worm thing with a
 dog type of head.  The thing looked up at him and asked, "Bastian?"

 [Backwash]

        To which our hero replied "Umm, maybe, you don't work for that
 cockfighting bookie, do you?  If so, I'm not."  The thing replied "Well, I'm
 a fan but... that isn't really important, I need your help, if I don't mate
 in your liver within 2 hours I'll die -- will you help me?!"  Joe wasn't
 sure what to say, he had heard of this thing in science class, and he didn't
 like strange dog-faced organisms in his liver, but it was so darn cute, he
 invited it in anyway.  After about 5 minutes of quiet awe and digging, the
 thing replied "Did you know your innards resemble that of a potato's?"  Joe
 felt a bit insignifigant after that, but he was too wrapped up in the
 situation to do anything about it, as the creature continued to on to say
 "Well, I'm here in your liver, but there's one problem..."

 [Styx]

        "...there's nobody here for me to mate with!"  Joe Bastian
 Thistleshit started laughing; a high-pitched, wheezing laugh that tore
 through the dragon-maggot's slimy, tubular little soul and sent it thrashing
 about in hysterical fits inside the liver, which in turn sent Joe into
 thrashing bouts of hysterical fits himself, because it was terribly painful
 having a maggot-dragon fuck around smashing the walls in his liver.  He
 crawled... nay, *clawed* his way across the floor to the liquor cabinet,
 grasped a bottle of Everclear, tore the cap off with his teeth, and guzzled
 it down as fast as a half-spent whore with no fix guzzles cum.  He felt the
 burning alcohol tumble down his throat, race through his digestive organs
 and slam its way full-force through his liver, and Joe Bastian Thistleshit
 laughed his laugh all the way through, for he heard.. nay, he *felt* the
 dragon-maggot shudder and shiver and scream and vomit, which was by far more
 painful to Joe than having the dragon-maggot thrash in hysterical fits, yet
 this pain was somehow strangely satisfying nonetheless.  Joe grew more
 drunk, the dragon-maggot grew more agonized, until finally, when the bottle
 was finished, the maggot twitched its last twitch and Joe laughed his last
 laugh; it was over, and Joe Bastian Thistleshit, the neutral-good thief, had
 gained enough experience to rise to the next level, where his next challenge
 awaited -- The Dread Pumpernickel of West Virginia.

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 An index of the NEW h0e, with lowercase stylin'
 -----------------------------------------------

 091 -- "the death of our scene" -- pip the angry youth
 092 -- "DIE MIKE!" -- metal chick
 093 -- "my nipples are erect for you!" -- hardcore
 094 -- "collected suicide letters" -- metal chick
 095 -- "girls are dumb" -- metal chick
 096 -- "midnight munchies, valium, take a shower you dirty fuck" -- styx
 097 -- "long-sleeve shirts" -- kaia's friend drew
 098 -- "the intertwining worlds of the dumb and the ugly" -- pixy
 099 -- "a REAL bush fan" -- creed
 100 -- "the computer underground lovechart" -- goldy the pimp from pamona
 101 -- "group therapy" -- trilobyte
 102 -- "i'm so stupid" -- trip
 103 -- "the rise of the mogels, part one" -- eerie
 104 -- "SCREW" -- trilobyte
 105 -- "nobody loves me" -- eerie
 106 -- "the triangle" -- eric keebler
 107 -- "ao, li-fo #7" -- food
 108 -- "and you wonder" -- aproh
 109 -- "how to hack nasa with aol" -- jubjub
 110 -- "a dialogue on love" -- jamesy & murmur
 111 -- "the rise of the mogels, part two" -- nybar
 112 -- "militia entrance exam" -- im2k
 113 -- "who the fuck is this jesus christ guy?" -- creep
 114 -- "the boy who seeks happiness meets darkthrone" -- murmur
 115 -- "it's me!" -- nyar
 116 -- "the dangerous streets of nyc" -- eerie
 117 -- "an interview with mogel" -- jamesy
 118 -- "so much to live for, so much to die for, right?" -- kheldar
 119 -- "rise of the mogels, part three" -- mercuri
 120 -- "on yumas" -- HACKERS
 121 -- "free buttplug" -- styx
 122 -- "how to get chicks: the faq!" -- swisspope
 123 -- "an ascii portrait of antihero" -- morpheus
 124 -- "short story (code number ORANGE)" -- murmur
 125 -- "laughing" -- mogel
 126 -- "hey i'm in the chinese channel" -- styx
 127 -- "rise of the mogels, part four" -- murmur
 128 -- "the fun i had with a crazy, old vietnamese lady" -- muze
 129 -- "christ demands more money" -- the onion
 130 -- "how to kill your roommate and frame her fat friends" -- muze
 131 -- "text files" -- darwin
 132 -- "c-" -- glynis
 133 -- "reality and fantasy: an indepth analysis" -- nybar
 134 -- "ode to manson" -- taraxis
 135 -- "asshole or bitch" -- styx
 136 -- "it's all a facade" -- pagenwait
 137 -- "hemmorhoids" -- shadow tao
 138 -- "killing time on a sunday afternoon" -- legion
 139 -- "potato salad" -- murmur
 140 -- "enter matcat" -- antihero
 141 -- "a womans's guide to geeky guys" -- lonewolf
 142 -- "are you calling me a liar?" -- trilobyte
 143 -- "carmex rocks my world" -- moonbagel
 144 -- "a sentence" -- orestes
 145 -- "here's the story of a cat named buddy" -- trip
 146 -- "eaten alive by a faulty ball bearing cooling fan" -- skinhorse
 147 -- "a call-us & damnit! adventure" -- whoops
 148 -- "thoughts and deja vu" -- gaurdian
 149 -- "sleep deprivation" -- sonia
 150 -- "slit and slot; no, just coffee, thanks" -- styx
 151 -- "fear and loathing in the suburban midwest" -- moonbagel
 152 -- "normal vacation" -- murmur
 153 -- "missing the boat" -- kraftwerk
 154 -- "THE... BITCH.... QUEEN... IS DEAD!!!" -- nybar
 155 -- "the spice girls" -- jubjub
 156 -- "why are they eating this? -- quarex & rottenz
 157 -- "emoticons explained" -- swisspope
 158 -- "yellow.american.cheese.gz" -- ilsundal
 159 -- "dick van dyke" -- jubjub
 160 -- "2599 unlimited" -- 2599
 161 -- "hope dies last" -- neko
 162 -- "FUCK THE BROKEN DITTO MACHINE" -- quarex
 163 -- "the dead hippo" -- kraftwerk
 164 -- "notes from my freshman year" -- moonbagel
 165 -- "can i be a barber, mom?" -- jook
 166 -- "the spirit of giving" -- pezmonkey
 167 -- "hippo crackers" -- trilobyte
 168 -- "bots are evil" -- aster
 169 -- "your sister is hot" -- styx
 170 -- "why can't i be a crack baby?" -- backwash
 171 -- "the hanson scourge" -- deusvitae
 172 -- "the three little wolves and the big bad pig" -- file13
 173 -- "dwindle dwindle dwindle" -- cstone
 174 -- "barbeque, i don't like you" -- phorce
 175 -- "a horrible imitation of henry miller" -- skinhorse
 176 -- "anything else" -- pezmonkey
 177 -- "what's your new year's resolution? huh?" -- fyfy
 178 -- "drop dead" -- rattle
 179 -- "the storys of le and kurt" -- aster
 180 -- "i'm complicated" -- lilnilhil
 181 -- "there was a girl" -- neko
 182 -- "the continued storys of le and kurt" -- aster
 183 -- "why drugs are queer" -- kraftwerk
 184 -- "my stupid h0e" -- plexus
 185 -- "a super cool way to kill yourself" -- sighrik
 186 -- "friends" -- aster
 187 -- "homosexuality unleashed" -- ilsundal
 188 -- "matcat explains christianity" -- antihero
 189 -- "my ass" -- skinhorse
 190 -- "hume tickles me" -- moonbagel
 191 -- "dear jewel kilcher" -- styx
 192 -- "the 815 bust revisted" -- neko
 193 -- "the lady with red hair" -- aster
 194 -- "matcat goes hacking" -- antihero
 195 -- "the netsplit heard 'round the world" -- kraftwerk
 196 -- "marching over me" -- leprekon
 197 -- "bob and suzy" -- aster
 198 -- "matcat gives up" -- antihero
 199 -- "POETRY EXPLOSTION!" -- various artists
 200 -- "hubris" -- various artists

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 * (c) HoE publications.  HoE #200 -- written by Various Artists -- 3/06/98 *
