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w   _____          ____   1  222   4    "Sex without Strings:  A Call for    w
D  //             |    \ 11    2  44         Legalized Prostitution"         D
* ||  ____        | || |  1  222 444             by Dr. Dr. Otis             *
G ||    || \    / | || |  1  2     4 issue #124 of "GwD:  The American Dream G
w  \\___//  \/\/  |____/ 111 222   4 with a Twist -- of Lime" * rel 05/17/02 w
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  ---   --  -  --   ---   --  -  --   ---   --  -  --   ---   --  -  --   ---

One fundamental problem dominates every young man's life: how to maximize sex
with minimal effort.  As a nice guy, dating only brings sexual results after
multiple outings and a large sum of cash.

Dinner+movie ($60) x 3 dates = $180.  Approximate sexual encounters = 0-1.

Yeah, that's right, paying $180 for one sexual encounter.  And that's if
you're lucky, or she's really drunk.  Well, and then there's Rohypnol, but
that's another file.  Clearly, this is not an efficient means for procuring
sex, but it's all most men know.  I would like them to consider the following
alternative:

1 Hour with Prostitute = $50-150

Helpful hints include:
---Claiming to be a virgin, where you might get an extra 30 minutes for free.

Critical factor: sex is guaranteed, not merely a hopeful fantasy.

Consider your first sexual encounter with the average broad: missionary style,
in the dark, under the covers, no money shot, and no cross-dressing.  Also the
likelihood of mouth-to-genital contact is minimal, and reciprocation is
expected.  The prostitute offers endless possibilities of sexual diversity,
and the likelihood of mouth-to-genital contact is extremely high without need
for reciprocation.  Delivery of the money shot is encouraged.

Only known drawbacks: illegality, STDs, social stigma, and social stigmata
(see my upcoming treatise on this topic).  All of these can be remedied,
except for the social stigmata, by legalization and government regulation of
the world's oldest profession.  The primary reason for continued
criminalization is the perceived breakdown of the nuclear family.  One reason
for long-term relationships/marriage is continued access to easily obtainable
coitus.  With legalized prostitution, men won't have to put up with women's
bullshit to gratify their urge for spicy asian poontang or to eat EZ-Cheese
off of someone's nipple (Cheese-Boy, I'm talking to you).

To get in on this sweet deal, write your congressman and move to Hawaii.
Isn't that where gay marriage is legal?  Shit, those Hawaiians will legalize
anything.

To contribute to this cause, please visit www.EZCheeseonnipple.org or follow
the link from www.jewlatto.org.

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Issue#124 of "GwD:  The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" ISSN 1523-1585
copyright (c) MMII Dr. Dr. Otis/GwD Publications             /---------------\
copyright (c) MMII GwD, Inc.  All rights reserved            :SEND MORE MONEY:
a production of The GREENY world DOMINATION Task Force, Inc. :      GwD      :
Postal:  GwD, Inc. - P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas 79490   \---------------/
FYM -+- http://www.GREENY.org/ - editor@GREENY.org - submit@GREENY.org -+- FYM
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