 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #587
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                      "Dear You"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                 by Mutter
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               4/21/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]

       It's just cold enough outside for no one in their right mind to be
 sitting on a park bench at midnight smoking a cigarette -- I'm sitting on
 a park bench at midnight smoking a cigarette.

        Dear You,

        it's almost over now.

        When it's time to say goodbye I'll be as introverted and anti-social
 as I was at the beginning.  Only difference is before it was because I
 didn't know anyone and now it's because I know everyone too well.

        A one-way road generally leads nowhere I want to go.  I'm sorry you
 won't be meeting me halfway.  Maybe some other day.

        I do wish the best for everyone I know.  I feel everyone I've met in
 the last year will find their own paths (even if I don't agree with them)
 Like I've always told you, I don't judge -- but that's probably the
 biggest lie I tell to myself.  My second biggest lie is that I'm not an
 angry hypocrite.

        Today my horoscope said, "You've been known to be brassy and bold,
 and maybe even speak out of turn, and that has sometimes gotten you into
 trouble..." This is the first time I actually read my horoscope and gave
 astrology a double-take.  I guess that's the best way I can describe what
 happened.  A second of overwhelming emotion, a nervous blurt of words...
 spoken "out of turn" -- when I had no place to say anything.  (Damn, I
 really can't see shit without my glasses but maybe that's because there's
 nothing but shit to see.)

        "Today, just the opposite is more likely.  By saying it the way you
 see it, with accuracy and honesty, you're more likely to get a
 promotion..." it went on.

        So that's it, I guess.  In the end I'll be changed but more the same
 than I thought I would be.  I'm really sorry if I made things weirder than
 they usually are and more awkward (if there's one word I'd use to describe
 my world it would be "awkward").  What can I say?  My heart still aches
 more than my half-sunburned body.  I wish I was Superman so I could turn
 back time, but I'm not... I'm hardly even Clark Kent.  So, the globe still
 spins and so will my room when I get too drunk to stand.  Oh well.

                                                        - C

        I found contentment just for a second
        (the wronger find it for even longer)

        It has occurred to me that the most powerful phrase in the English
 language is "I love you."  People endow words with power and it seems no
 set of words are given more power than those.  They are the essence of
 magic.  Spoken, they can yield powerful... dare I say almost dangerous
 results.  The weak have no business with them.  Spoken, they can instantly
 turn the world around you into heaven-on-earth or the deepest pits of hell.
 Speaking the phrase is always a gamble.   And, like in any other form of
 gambling, there are those who choose not to play... those who are not
 willing to risk... those who would rather sit by and watch others win
 than risk the hell that losing would bring.  They are the cowards, and I am
 "they."  So, spin that wheel, put your chips on black, and I'll hope the
 ball doesn't land on red.  It's just cold enough outside for no one in
 their right mind to be sitting on a park bench at midnight smoking a
 cigarette...

 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #587 - WRITTEN BY: MUTTER - 4/21/99 ]
