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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                                Lost
                                ----

The last sixteen months have been pretty tough for me.  I know there
are many people worse off and hell, who am I to complain considering
I still have a lot to be thankful for.  So, if you don't want to read
another file on self pity then move on out of here.

Back in October/November 1996 I was approaching my third year of my
first real job out of college.  A job which took me nine months of
looking to get-1993 was not a good time to be in the job market
especially for an engineer in Florida.

That October I was recently put on a new project after the previous
ones more or less fizzled out.  I enjoyed working but was feeling
some frustration because promises of a move were being made but
little was being done.  Typical shit at our company.  More and more
people were being crammed into already overcrowded space, it was
getting too noisy to work productively and hell the new commute would
shorten my drive by thirty minutes each way.  Fuck, I couldn't wait.
Finally when everything was set (new place was ready to move into)
the company continued to do their best to stall.  Some people started
to take a "fuck it" attitude and went on their merry way doing what
they were told even if they felt they should be doing something more
important.  And of course then there were a bunch of other lame fucks
who just rode the wave hoping it wouldn't break.

In November of 1996, one of my families cats went blind.  Not long
after we ended up having to put him to sleep.  On top of the dying
pet and deteriorating job situation my parents were in the process of
getting a divorce.  In February 1997 a few of us moved into apartment
which added an additional 7 miles to my 25 mile commute.  March,
April, and May passed and my hour commute was starting to get on my
nerves.  Especially after the company delayed the move again an extra
few months.  Always promising, never delivering--our new company
motto.  Fuck em all, if we didn't move by June I had made up my mind
that I was going to start looking for another job.  My only happiness
was my new 2-11pm shift which made the drive a hell of a lot easier
and the last several hours with no one around more enjoyable.

We eventually moved in to the new place on June 1, 1997.  But what
once was to be a move for the engineering department turned out to be
a move for the whole company.  Course before the move half of the
company was laid off--not enough money, not enough room.  Some very
good people were let go but I was "lucky" enough to survive the move.
My new commute of five miles lasted all of four weeks before I became
another causality.  The rest of the company, except for a skeleton
crew, was laid off a week later.  The company was considerate in
paying everyone for the time worked but most, if not all, lost their
vacation pay.  So, after three and half years of working it was time
to begin another job search.

This time around the job search only took two months.  I saw
opportunity open its door so I took a chance and moved 3600 miles to
accept a new position in August 1997.  Within the next four months my
family had another two pets die.  Both of old age.  All told that
makes three pets, one divorce, two moves and one job change in the
last year and a half.  And with me working a contract job I'll be
hitting the pavement again in a couple months.  The time off between
my last job was not very enjoyable.  People asking me why I want to
move when good jobs are to be had "here."  It was tough as hell
leaving that place behind me.  Cheap rent, free food, no laundry,
little worries--who would want to move.  I put a lot of though behind
it and it would have been very easy to chicken out or put off moving.
I almost didn't make it.

When the job comes to an end this time I'll be taking a lot of time
off to find my way back on the road of life.  Hopefully I'll be able
to enjoy the time without work.

It takes strength to go all the way live,

Pallbearer

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