uSu - united States underground                  By:Cyberglitch

              Better Ways of Shoplifting, Without Getting Caught

        The ideas in this text file were derived from a friend's idea on
shoplifting better without getting caught as easy. I will not mention my
friends handle because he'd wan't it to be Anon. Only if he want's me to.
The contents of this text file are not an urge for you to go out and 
shoplift, but rather an educational guide(yeah this bullshit) to knowing how
it really works. Oh yeah any FED's out there, if you read this, tuff shit
there's plenty more from where this came from. And there's nothing you can
say about it, because the right of freedom of speech is protected by numeral
uno Amendmant in the Consitution. Sorry better luck next times.

        Ok the key things you have to remember to shoplifting, any other
text file that tells you how to shoplift by yourself is bullshit. Shoplifting
needs teamwork. Not only does it make it easy for you to take shit, it helps
you get more shit quicker by making bigger hits at one time. Now remember
swear to you and you partners, if you get caught, you keep quiet. It'b be a
shame if all of you got caught. So don't have assholes who crack under heat
of a cop or a fed, in your little group. Ok now i'll explain the basis of 
what types of people you will need to pull this off easier...

        1) LIFTERS - Basically one or two people(depends on how much shit
                you wanna take) that actually take the shit you wan't while
                your other partners distract the other people in the store.

        2) ORDINARY ANNOYING PEOPLE - Basically another 1 or 2 people who
                bug the hell out of the salesmen(woman??? whichever), just
                have them ask all kinds of stupid quiestions that everyone
                should already know. Like how do i turn on a computer, what's
                a computer virus, can i catch it??? Etc...

        3) CRAZIES - As many people as you want for these type of people
                a nessary part in any shoplifting hit. Basically these poeple
                must be either totally insane and stupid, or someone who can
                act insane and stupid really well and has the nerve to do just
                about anything.

        Ok basically what you need to do is have the LIFTERS taking shit out
of the store while you already have the ORDINARY ANNOYING PEOPLE bothering
the salesman(women??? again whatever) asking them stupid as hell questions.
Also make sure you have your CRAZIES going around making a ruckess, saying
"HEY I WAN'T THAT, IT'S  MINE, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT", or going around blasting
every radio they can find, going up to the clerks and making total assholes
out of themselves, hell even have take a fucking leak in the middle of the
god'dam store. Basically you wan't the CRAZIES and the ORDINARY ANNOYING
PEOPLE annoying and distacting the hell out of the salespeople and the
security gaurds and basically anoyone else in the store. So that everyone is
focusing in on the people who you have doing the craziest and stupidest
things imaginable. Then while everyone else is distracted watching them, you
walk off with whatever will fit under that big coat of yours(well i hope you
bring one), then tell your other poeple to stop bothering the people after
you're about 10 to maybe 20 minutes long gone or until the people in the
store start getting suspicous.

        Ok now basically remember, only hit one store one time, after that
they'll probally wise up to what you're trying to pull. Or wait a VERY, VERY
long time afterwards if they haven't notice the shit was gone yet. Though i
highly suggest not going back to the same store, since they'll probally almost
reconize your CRAZIES and ORDINARY ANNOYING PEOPLE almost instantly from the
last incident. Though it's really not against the law to just piss off people
in a store, but it's not worth whatever they'll try and do you.

        Allways remember to have some sort of signal(a sound is good) that
will tell everyone else in your little group to chill or calm down if   
something doesn't feel right. Because if it doesn't feel right as in like
too many poplice officers that out number you, don't bother. Because the PIGS
will probally be all over your other people before you realize it. And you'll
get trying to walk out of the store with a big ass radio speaker or something
or someone  will probally get suspicous if you look like your 40 months
pregnant and a GUY!

        Also make sure you have layout plans for the store, of what kind of
havok you're gonna cause. Send only one person that either not going to be        
involved in it at all, or as one of your ORDINARY ANNOYING PEOPLE. Becuase
the store manager or salesperson will probally reconise they're trying steal
stuff if they actually your LIFTERS or one of your CRAZIES, making them the
annoying people makes them look less suspicous, especially since they could
bullshit the sales people even more with stuff like "Hey i was in here last
week and i was looking at the stero over there for a breif few minutes, as
was wondering how much i could get it on sale for, or how many amps, how many
watts are those speakers. Hey does it come with a remote control", etc.. you
get the idea.

        Ok well go have some fun, live long and all this other bullshit, just
remember if you get caught, don't even bring up uSu. Personally i don't care
because well there's nothing that the law can do to keep me from expression
whatever i fucking please. But you'll bring everyone else down who tries this
and you wouldn't wan't that to happen now would you?

        Look out for more great shit from uSu. If you'd like to contact uSu
call the WHQ or any of the sites in uSuNet in the .NFO files.
