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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #616
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                 "The Picnic Channel"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                by Oregano
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               5/9/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        Late at night, when light from the sun is blocked by the giant known
 as Earth, there blows the solar wind.  The atmosphere becomes ionized and
 the satellites circling the dark side of the world become erratic.  At such
 times strange channels flicker in and out of the normal cable choices.

        Up at 4 a.m. to take anti-biotics, fighting off strep, I sit in
 front of the TV to make myself drowsy enough to fall back asleep.  As my
 eyelids flutter open, flutter closed, the Picnic Channel appears before me.
 Here is what I see.

 Children's Picnic.

        A morning show with furry muppet-like characters on a perpetual
 picnic who get into all sorts of adventures.  One show they might climb a
 tree, another find a cave.  They sing a lot of songs and play games and
 learn to play fair.  Learning the alphabet and counting are important to
 the morning picnicers

 Sunrise Picnic.

        A show which encourages picnics in the early morning, especially
 those early enough to watch the sun glide above the horizon.  Watching the
 sun rise gets the day off right, you see the day born, the way God meant it
 to be; you'd not sleep through the first 3 years of your child's life, so
 why would you sleep through the first 3 hours of the newborn day?  

 The Fancy Pattern

        A show about picnic blankets and other important picnic cloths.

 Morning Picnic

        This is like a Regis and Kathy Lee show but set out in a lovely,
 green picnic land.  Each morning celebrity guests join Mike and Johana at
 the picnic, (though admittedly rather minor celebrities).  Plus lots of
 chefs and outdoor specialists and craft experts.  Time management gurus
 show ways to add picnicing hours to even the busiest life.

        Every Friday the Gadget Guy shows up with new tools and gadgets to
 make your picnicing simpler and more enjoyable.

        Relax!  Life's a picnic!

 Basket of Bounty.

        A cooking show tailored to the needs of the picnicer.  How to keep
 food fresh, plus new food ideas, and other exciting looks at picnic fare.

 Season of Love.

        A show somewhat remniscent of the Love Boat.  A crew of professional
 picnicers welcome each week a new love stuck couple and through the magic
 of picnics bring the two hearts together.

        This week's show:

        They were a couple in college who separated after graduation and
 made divergent lives for themselves.  He is a rising young exec in a
 securities firm who has never taken more than 20 minutes for lunch on his
 long climb up the corporate world.  She is a dog trainer who is in complete
 touch with herself.

        One magic day they run into each other by accident when he is
 assigned to take to the shelter a stray dog that got loose in his corporate
 headquarters and she is in the same shelter to pick up a dog of hers that
 ran away. There is a magic between them after all the time elapsed and they
 agree to get together for lunch.  She says that it is important that they
 have a special picnic lunch with so many years to catch up on.  He balks,
 but a few days later after thinking it over he agrees to the picnic.

        Our regular cast comes to the picture and sets up a picnic so
 romantic and zany that it can never be forgotten.

        The picnic changes the man's life and he quits his job the next day
 and opens up his own bait shop.  The couple lives happily ever after.

 Movie of the Week.

 "The Perfect Picnic"

        A mother and daughter plan on having the perfect picnic but the
 mother dies of horrible cancer before they can make their plans come alive.
 The daughter weeps for a half hour of TV time and finally decides that she
 has to go on the picnic by herself to honor her mother and complete her
 grief.

        The perfect picnic involves a trip to Yellowston National Park in
 the heart of spring and a picnic in the famous daffodil fields.  This movie
 features some of the most stunning aerial picnic sweeps yet captured for a
 TV audience.

 PicnicCenter

        An end of the day look at picnic news which wraps up any picnic
 stories that viewers have followed all day.

        The ions lose their energy and the erratic satellites come under the
 full glare of a new day's sun and resume their transmissions of the Golf
 Channel and Emeril Live.  I wake up to light slicing through my venetian
 blinds.  I get up and go to my dark bedroom to finish a last few hours of
 sleep before the alarm blares.  

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #616 - WRITTEN BY: OREGANO - 5/9/99 ]
