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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                                File #187
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        I received this in the mail almost a month ago, but can't
find the original mail.. so, I don't know who sent it to me, or
who wrote it. Since it was sent to me, I can only assume it was meant
to be released. If not, I apologize for doing so without permission,
but hey, who am I supposed to ask? :)
                                                - Dis

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Feeling good
I'm feeling strong
I'm holding out
I'm holding on
There's lots to do
There's lots to say
Just so you can have today
A party here
A party there
No one ever really cares
If your old enough
Feeling strong
Tell yourself there's nothing wrong
There's nothing wrong
Let's look at peace
Full of lies
Holding on for no surprise
Devil pushed you in with me
Someone else's soul to thieve
Feeling fine, Feel ok
Step inside, We'll get away
If your holding out, Feeling strong
Tell yourself there's nothing wrong
Nothing wrong
You see
If holding out is dragging you down
Come on with me
Now if your feeling sad, full of strain
You'd better find someone to blame
Feeling good, Feeling strong
Baby, I just carry on
Baby I just step away
Stuff to do for today
I'm holding out, feeling strong
Just tell yourself there's nothing wrong
Nothing wrong

- `nothing wrong' Red Lorry Yellow Lorry

     Life in the suburbs is hell. There's nothing particularly wrong with
it except it sucks. This is the real zone of the droid. The zone of the
blank expressions with the intent of someone hell bent on the acquisition
of money and increasing their ignorance. Things get a new sort of perspective.
I would almost hazard saying they are surreal in sorts. People with no
particular order, no time for reality. Only time for the 5 minute news
piece on the tv or read the following day in the newspaper. Here I am at
work, 7am and thinking once again too much about my past. Let's think. 
7 friends are dead. 3 of which from suicide. The others from car accidents,
drug overdoses or whatever. That is irrelevant though and likely typed as a
way to warrant leaving the computer humming away without actually doing
anything on it. Oh well... The point I guess <if I ever really *have* a
point> is why? What could have driven people to this? The corruption and
idiocy of our school system hell bent on conformity and social acceptance?
The "Fit in or be thrown out" attitude? A rapidly crumbling political
system that pretty much everyone trusts simply because you should? The
various aborations of what people should or shouldn't believe? When I
was in school it was a disastrous experience for me, and I guess in turn
for the school system. Yea, that must be it- The system that teaches and
molds us into model citizens. Or does it brainwash and only teach how to
be `one of the gang'? There must be a reason for there being so many stupid
people. Well, it's working. The stupid people continue to breed and let
their children be `educated' in the same manner as them and thus letting
the ignorance continue. Over and over. Generation after generation. The
people who actually think for themselves and not simply what social
standards dictate are outcast as simply being weird. What the fuck
is that? Weird compared to what? No answer. Their programming didn't
cover that one. So, laws are invented to constrain those who pose a real
threat to society and the rest are left simply being a threat mostly to
themselves. Thus, 7 of my friends are dead. Oh, pity the school guidance
councilor or psychologist. Sure, some of them may do some good like giving
away condoms or offering explicitly vague and simplistic answers to
complex problems but never offering sound advice. More dead. I am lucky.
I have survived what is apparently the hardest time of the life, yet it
was supposedly my best years? What a fucking rip off. I want my money
back. But in the stupidity of the laws one cannot simply chose to make
an exit. First is the initial `attempt' which almost always fails. Then
comes a few weeks of so called counseling until you promise not to try
and escape this hell again. Then they try and teach you stress management
crap and ways of coping with situations that vary from moderately obscene
to downright disturbing. From there you are thrown out into a social chain 
bent on breaking you down unless you keep pounding it into yourself that
there is nothing wrong. Keep that attitude and all will be fine. If their
retraining was successful <which it hardly is> all will be fine. If it
failed then you likely go thru it again and again until 1: You are so
doped out on prozak and other happy pills that truly nothing is wrong
or 2: Finally successful. Hamm, where's the justice? What happened? Where
is the true structure for people to figure out? What is it in fact? That
we should all just conform and be happy? Funk that. I have a problem in
the fact that I am a wee bit of a realist. I cannot accept that people
who do things that society finds `offensive' or simply undesirable do
so simply because they were messed. Gee, I wonder who did the messing to
begin with? Hehe, people are fucked. Droids. Closed. No desire for anything
that is not normally accessible. No creativity or drive to think. Who starts
this change? Wild guess? School! The competition that carries on in the
cliques and who has the latest new clothes. Computers and more so are
considered a taboo thing reserved only for geeks and whatnot. Again,
society placing labels of bad on things they cannot comprehend. I read in an
article somewhere once that most parents would have their kids read for half
an hour than funk with the net. Gimme a fucking break! Why? What's the big
deal? Tell me honestly- I have read of porn on the net, beastiality and
kiddie and otherwise, but just how easy is it to get? I myself ain't into
that scene too much so never really bothered to look too hard. But I got
curious. Just how many 6 year olds may accidentally see a nude photo of
the human body. So, I went and looked. World Wide Web. As much as I hated
having to do so I fired up microsloth's XT emulation mode <also called
winblows> and started netscape. Went to yahoo and did a search. Sure enough
a shitload of porn sites came into perspective. I went to a few but there
were no XXX images to be found. A few scantily dressed models, but hardly
anything worse than the bra and girdle section of your favorite catalog.
The rest you have to pay for and then telnet to. Hmm, ok, usenet; There
has to be something there. I fired up tin and yanked in all message subs.
Hmm, something was missing! alt.binaries.nude or whatever combination
was seemingly missing. I telneted over to another account I was using
at the time and did the same there. Ahhh, there they were. All UUE
encoded. Hmm, I had to wonder 1: why the funk my college was censoring
what newsfeeds we get in <and don't say to save hard drive space as it's
a known fact the schools computer is littered with `core' files. hehe, of
course I do them the favor of deleting them:>> 2: Just how many 6 year olds
know how to decode UUE messages. Shit, it took me a few minutes to figure
out myself. and 3: Why cant the parents change news servers to a
*.*.*.*.edu <they never get the easy addresses> where none of that stuff
is available. Hmm, ya, the ones I decoded I used a UUE decoder in winblows.
Hmm, once again the good guys in the computer industry come thru fer me.
Ya. <It's the blame someone else syndrome> If they put warning labels like
`Cigarettes cause fatal lung disease' shit on my smoke packs, why can't they
be in the open and throw stickers on internet winblows apps written like
`This product may cause your children to ask premature questions, have
hairy palms and question the authenticity of the stork' That's assuming
the 6 year old in question 1: even knows what the big deal is, after all
animals don't wear clothes. 2: Manages to get on the net. and 3: actually
*shows* his/her parents what they found. As for the adults seeing and
bitching about it- They should get a fucking life. There was always a
warning on any of the web pages and the usenet shit- well, they can read
simply the base rite? Besides, if they thought it was such a big deal they
should do as the scientologists and delete things they don't agree with. 
Likely they are too stupid to know how so they just bitch until 1) or maybe
2) isp's bend and nuke the alt.binaries.sex.watermelon or whatever base. Or
the idiot starts posting to the group saying they should stop. Hehe, we all
know what happens then. The mailbombing likely will last fer a month or so
or until the crossposting stops <is it me or do they post to every base at
once. Hmm, they all seem to be ???@aol.com too> Then they bitch to the media
about how a nasty hacker <only ever one responsible you see. That blame bit
again> mailbombed him/her. Then they start spouting off about how the 'net's
supposed to be a place for saying whatever you want and how that isn't true.
Stupid funk. In my opinion sure, you basically can say whatever you want.
Anyone. If you don't like nasty shit don't decode that uue that was
downloaded from alt.binaries.tasteless or don't say how people in
alt.suicide.holiday are simply encouraging people to kill themselves. That
in itself is a load of shit. I have done a great deal of posting there and
not once have I ever seen anyone encourage it. I don't post in some catholic
base to say that I feel that organized religions are full of shit. I mean
what comes around goes around. The net is now more popular than ever, my
first experiences with it were in 1982 or so slouched over the shoulder of
a friend and thinking wow- this is neat. I got out of computers for a long
time shortly afterwards <That geek thing and my desire at the time to try
and conform> so didn't get a chance to get into it again until 92 or 93.
Thanks to societies pressures I found myself knowing how to do assembly
on my old 2e but not even knowing how to do a dir let alone the much more
advanced unix shit. Anyways, before my brain sizzles and goes off topic
too far yet again... I quote one of the people I respect in the sense of
doing something instead of sitting on their ass and accepting Timothy 
Leary- "Think for yourself and question authority" Now more than EVER!
The net has grown and expanded. It's no longer that huge rush to get on
it. Well, mainly because it's <barely> legal to do so now. Well, I for
one won't bend to conform to the netscapeheads. Yea the internet is all
graphics. heh... Education; Where is it at in reality? People telling
others what is good or bad, right and wrong. 

     I'm feeling fine
     I feel ok
     Step inside we'll get away

Yea that's about it. I myself have had enough of these unwritten social
contracts. Yes, I am weird. I am a bit of a social outcast. But instead
of people pushing me around telling me how to conform to the new society
of electronic beings.... They are going to have to accept the ways that have
already been established. The simple fact that you may not agree with
everything but not persecuting those who do. Funk society. They never did
me any favors and you can bet your ass I am not going to be helping them
out by sitting quietly now. There's no way they are going to bring their
idiocy and competitive bullshit into the only real social structure. I
had to bend to their stupid draconian laws to keep the mAsses in line,
now they must do the same and bend to ours. Remember the net is a
collective- As a whole it's what it is, as a part it's nothing. Or
commercial. Pity the soul who posts me junk to my box. hehe, ya, the
old forward message trick on two accounts... So, Keep in mind what has
happened in the past and if we aren't careful will happen in the future.
Notice how the `information stupidhighway' isn't in the news anymore?
Could it be a nasty plan by certain officials? At first I always said
that what they were describing was already in place. Haha I thought-
How can they tear the net down I thought. It's sooooooooooooo in place.
Then the hype of it started to die. The net got busier. I thought that
was cool because people were thinking the net was this information
stupidhighway that all were going on about. Then it got busier still
with netscape and I-phone and tv stuff and realaudio etc. All of which
were coming from the *.com domains. Then one day wile using ncftp I
thought it seemed quite a bit slower. Could it be they are trying to get
the net so fucked with huge bandwidth proggies as to turn people off it?
In the same while scare the hell out of the regular users by having trials
for those who dare to actually explore it? To persecute those who do good
and break the double standard of people having access to encryption? A very
good plan. Kill the net through crowded channels, kill the spirit buy
throwing as many lawsuits as possible on the people who dare to use it
for what it was originally intended. To share information. People, smarten
up. They are fucking with our only truly free society. Give 'em hell.
Support the E.F.F. and whatnot. Don't let 'em do it and simply say
`nothings wrong'


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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc...   =
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