
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #347 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Christian Conspiracy"                   !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Anjee                              !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/16/98                                 !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        Sometimes, when IRC'ing, you may run into many wackos, freaks or
 perverts.  However, "Sock" fits none of these catagories, or does he fit
 all of them?  Anyhow. As most of you know, late nights and boredom can
 sometimes lead to very interesting and educational (whatever)
 conversations.  Below is a log of my dear, dear friend Sock and his
 theory about the christian conspiracy.  Also, I removed any comments that
 I had made during that conversation because they were mostly "hehe",
 "haha" and "LoL"s.

        NOW... Are you ready to know the truth? =)

        (P.S. Seeing this was about a year ago, I have no clue what began
 this sudden burst of truth.  I dont think that matters though.)

 <The_Sock> It's part of our culture to go out and have sex b4 Marriage.. 
 <The_Sock> It's our way of fighting back against the church..
 <The_Sock> We'd be out havin sex b4 marriage with Nuns and Preists if
            we could, (That'd really piss the church off)
 <The_Sock> But that'll have to be next generation doing that..
 <The_Sock> See..the whole reason the church wuz ever invented wuz so
            that when ppl die, we can say "He's gone to a better place"
 <The_Sock> He hasn't gone to a better place!!
 <The_Sock> He's 6 feet underground, rotting in a box!
 <The_Sock> You call that a better place?!?!?!
 <The_Sock> Well, Now... Some theives up and die..
 <The_Sock> well, They're nawt going to a better place..
 <The_Sock> so we up and say "Heaven" says we must follow these rules to
            get to that "Better place" (Which is a box 6 feet underground
            that no one wants to end up in..)
 <The_Sock> Ok..So we strt putting ppl in control of this here "Heaven and
            gettin in.." Hence the preists, and the pope, and Cardnals..
 <The_Sock> etc etc..
 <The_Sock> So they begin making up more rules.. And they've got True
            power, cause ppl are following these rules..
 <The_Sock> Then one day, ppl ain't following the rules so much nemore..
            And they're partying and having phun, and drinking, and
            whipping their asses with the rule book..
 <The_Sock> These ppl are losing their power..
 <The_Sock> So.. One of um Goes, and knocks up his wife.. Calls their son
            Jesus.. Our Lord.. God's son, sent to save Mankind..
 <The_Sock> (When in truth, all they want is that power back...)
 <The_Sock> So.. 33 years old, this guy gets hung up on a cross, and
            poof.. he's dead.. They take the body, throw it into a tomb..
            One of the ex-powerfull ppl decide to go steal the body..
 <The_Sock> I dunna know what he did with it..Hung it up on his wall,
            Mounted the head above his fireplace, I dunno.. I don't care
 <The_Sock> All of a sudden, that "Son of God"'s entire body wuz ressurected
            either.. (Good word, I think they invented it just fer him..
            Lucky bastard.. One day I'll get a word invented fer me.. (I
            think it'll be a cross between stupid and crazy.. crupid?))
 <The_Sock> Ok..So this church is now back in power, kickin ass and takin'
            names.. 
 <The_Sock> They've got a buncha power now..
 <The_Sock> (And a head mounted on their wall..)
 <The_Sock> Lucky bastards..
 <The_Sock> So they start up all these holy wars..
 <The_Sock> To "Expel the deamons and bring the word of the one true God
            to every1" (Actually, to expand their territory and give
            themselves more power)
 <The_Sock> So now they're really powerfull..
 <The_Sock> Today, Not so powerful.. Ppl aren't partying and praising Cows
            and stuff like b4, now they're all interested in making cash..
 <The_Sock> So they're losing their power again..
 <The_Sock> Hence the second coming of Jesus.. 
 <The_Sock> well, guess what.. Some other poor fool's head is gunna be
            mounted on the pope's wall soon, because it's a crock of
            shit..
 <The_Sock> And they keep pushing the rules on us..
 <The_Sock> So FUCK THEM!!!
 <The_Sock> (Especially some of the nuns..they're pretty cute, and the
            fact that they've never been doinked b4 is pretty kewl)
 <The_Sock> We're gunna go over there and infect their "Holy Lines" With
            Good ole fashion WHITE TRASH!!!
 <The_Sock> So Now we populate and propegate..
 <The_Sock> And next generation.. My Sons... Are gunna be doinking those
            nuns that I never got to..
 <The_Sock> (They'll be old by then, but hopefully they'll still be cute)
 <The_Sock> And my daughters are gunna be ridin the preists..
 <The_Sock> We'll fuck their holy line outta them..
 <The_Sock> But our generation can only fuck eachother to get back at the
            church..
 <The_Sock> (Church still has to much power..But we're changing that)
 <The_Sock> So to the church.. I give.. My Right buttcheek followed by my
            left...
 <The_Sock> To the lil kids out their bird doggin chicks and bangin beaver,
            I give ya thumbs up..
 <The_Sock> To the church.. No thumbs.. Ya get the finger..
 * The_Sock has spoken.. Al-leigh-luya!

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!      #347 - WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 12/16/98 !!
