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=  F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.  =
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                                Skanning Phun!
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  So I'm sitting here just jackin' around with the computer.. I'm bored
as hell, nothing to do.. 'till I remember my new modem. . .The one with
the really loud speaker... Hmm?  What could I do with that?  I've already
called all of my bulletin boards for today, so I can't do that.. I'm not
in the mood to get on the IRC.
  I KNOW!  I'll scan!.. Sounds like a good idea.. So I find an old copy of
ToneLoc on my drive, fire it up, and start scanning.. Hmm.. disconnected
number, fax machine.. busy.. Kinda boring exchange this morning...
  Suddenly, a chick answers the phone.  "hello!"  Of course, I can't say
anything, wouldn't say anything even if I could...
  She asks again.. "hello!!!"  Still no reply.  She starts wondering what's
going on.. "WELL FUCK YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  Whew.. Kinda over reacted didn't she.  Heh.  Made for a good laugh tho.

  But there is a point to all of this.  The week after I did that scan, I
recieved 2 letters in the mail from USWEST.  I'd receieved them before...

        Dear Customer:

        The purpose of this letter is to bring to your attention that
        on January 3, 1993 at 1:47 AM, your telephone number,
        (XxX) XxX-XxXx, was identified through our Call Trace Service.
        The party receiving the call from your number activated Call
        Tracer Service in the belief that it was a potentially harassing
        call.

        Occasionally wrong numbers and hang-up calls are considered
        by the recipients as potentially harassing.

        Call Trace information is not generally released to customers
        except in response to court orders or proper requests from law
        enforcement agencies.  Since this was a single occurrence, we
        assume that no further action will be necessary.

        Thank you for your attention in this matter.  If you have
        questions or need additional information, please call our
        office.

        Sincerely,

        <signed in ball point> Shirley 
        Security Assistant
        U  S  WEST Communications
        Call Identification Center
        1-800-582-0655


        COTONE/BLB


  Anyway.. Let me point out a few things about this letter.  First of all,
the lamer (whoever "reported" me) paid $1.50.. For what?  To have this 
stupid letter sent.  And you know they're never going to do anything about
the goddamn thing.  Fuckin rip off.  Second, let me point out "since this
is a single occurrence..."  Hell no it isn't.  I've recieved at least 5-10
of these letters in the past.  And let me point out some more things. 
First, who the hell is this Shirley bitch?? (ignorant slut) No last name?  
That sounds a little strange to me.  She always signs them all.  But who 
is she?  Just some bitch with a pen who signs stuff?  I mean.. If they 
can't even sign a last name, how can they expect anyone to take it 
seriously?  I know I don't.  Also, on the two letters I kept, the "Shirley" 
was signed by two different people.  It is quite obvious that two different 
people did it.  I have also heard of other people having the same experience 
with the Shirley sig.  And one last note.. The letters seem to have been
printed on a laser printer of some sort.. Yet the person who typed it 
was different?  Note the bottom, the one I typed here said "COTONE/BLB."
First, what the hell is "cotone?"  Some division of secretaries for the
goddamn call trace service??  BLB must be some bumbling secretary who 
types rip-off lame-ass call trace letters all day long.  <stupid whore>
The other one is named "JNG".. From COTONE too.  I guess this explains
why that bitch shirley doesn't put a last name.  
  
  I will now present to you a few little profiles, of interesting people
I found while scanning... I would like you to think while reading, about
what these people must be thinking.  They're yelling into the phone at
silence, or doing other strange things.  They obviously have no life, and
waaaaaaaayyyyyyy too much time on their hands.  And too much money in
their wallet if they decide on the call trace option..
        I called one guy, and he answered like usual, with a hello.
        Less then 3 seconds later...
        "IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PICK UP THE PHONE, DON'T CALL YOU STUPID SON
        OF A BITCH!"
  As you can tell, he's a very paitent individual.
        Ah and then my two records.. The first:
        "Hello.." (Male voice..) <less then 1 second later> "Hello.."
        He kept doing this.. said 14 hellos before my modem cut him off
        while hanging up after the 1 minute timeout, on the 15th hello.
  This man is REALLY intelligent, don't you think?
        Record two, beat the first one:
        "Hello?" (Male voice..) "Hello?" (little girl's voice) 
        "Who is this?" (little girl's voice) "Hello!" (Man's voice again)
        This went back and forth for the full minute.
        18 hellos, 4 occurrences of who is this.
  I think they have too much time on their hands.
        One last one that I found to be VERY interesting... I call up some
        number.. a woman answers.. "hello.." just like normal.. Suddenly,
        after about 5 seconds, she starts singing in seprano, an opera
        of some sort on to the phone!  She kept this up for about 45
        seconds.. (she actually wasn't that bad, either..)  Then when
        she finished she said "Goodnight, baby"  and hung up.. heh..
  Of course, the classic is a lady, sitting at home, picking up, hearing
silence, getting scared, and doing a little stutter.. "heh-heh-heh-hello?"
  And then she prolly hangs up and does call trace.  Stupid bitch.

     =               =
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   - o - MoRP/HEuS - o -
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