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      (*)   (*)   *   (*)~*~(*)                  HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #900
    *  0     0    ~    0                *
   ~   0     0  ~* *~  0         hOGS    ~     "How Many People Understand
  (    0*~*~*0 (     ) 0*~*~      oF      )      Quantum Physics Anyway?"
   ~   0     0  ~   ~  0        eNTROPY  ~               by Six
    *  0     0   * *   0                *               11-7-99
      (*)   (*)   ~   (*)~*~(*)
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        So this morning I'm sitting in my car as per usual.  Running early,
 munching on my breakfast bar, cruising down Rt. 80.. when I see the
 commuters worst nightmare.  About 10 miles of break lights up ahead.  I
 mutter "Oh fuck" to myself and search for that talk station with the traffic
 reports.  After listening for 10 minutes the traffic finally comes on, and
 they don't even mention the back-up I'm sitting in. GREAT, GRAND, WONDERFUL.

        Suddenly the traffic moves.. YAY!  I could still be on time.  After
 about a mile.. dead stop.  So this goes on for 20 minutes when I finally see
 up ahead a clear in the traffic so I assume I am about to pass the cause of
 this big mess.  A few lanes blocked I assume, construction maybe, but no,
 nothing logical.. A fender bender, two cars and a trooper on the side of the
 road.  Of course every fucking moron driving by has to gawk and look and see
 what's going on.  The idiot in front of me actually put his car into park so
 he could look for a sec.  At least twice a week I run into this shit.

        After a year of commuting I have come to a conclusion.  Fast drivers
 do not cause accidents.  If everyone went fast there would be no problem.
 We'd all be going and we would not hit each other.  It's the people that
 STOP that cause the problem.  It's the people that don't get their toll
 money ready before they embark on their trip and spend 5 minutes digging in
 their pockets for 35 cents as they manage to back up the Garden State
 Parkway for 25 miles.  It's the fool that insists on doing 50 even though
 the speed limit is now 65.  It's every jackass that has to look at an
 accident.  JUST USE YOUR FUCKING GAS PEDAL AND DRIVE GODDAMNIT.

        Soooo, I get through the traffic on Route 80, merge on to route 46
 and ..lala.. more traffic.  Caused by two people doing 30.. 30 ITS A FUCKING
 HIGH WAY.  By this time I was pissed, I passed them on the shoulder and gave
 them the finger.  If I had a gun, I probably would have shot out their
 tires... Thus the reason I don't have a gun, or throwing knives, or a cross-
 bow.. in my car.

        On Saturday I drove into NYC.  The only problem there was when
 everyone merges into the Lincoln Tunnel is one bitch jammed her way in and
 did not alternate, letting someone in ahead of her..  Stupid bitch..
 ALTERNATE GODDAMNIT.

        At this time I shall digress.  But if you are travelling Rt. 80 east
 around 8 am.. USE YOU'RE FUCKING GAS PEDAL AND DON'T LOOK AT THE SIDE OF THE
 ROAD, THERS ALWAYS SOMEONE PULLED OVER.. GET USED TO IT..

        PS.  I was 12 minutes late for work, but no one noticed Yay!

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 ( *(c) hOGS oF eNTROPY pRESS*         HOE #895 ~ WRITTEN BY: SIX ~ 11/7/99 )
