=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

                     How The Hell Do You Stand It At All?
                     ------------------------------------

      The following was crossposted over USENET to several different
 newsgroups, and I happened to run into it on rec.sport.pro-wrestling.  It
 was posted by a guy named Edgar from Britain who had a job in the United
 States for a few months, and he comments on our television programming.  I
 thought it was interesting to see the views of somebody completely
 impartial, and he supports a lot of what I've touched on in previous
 articles I've written for other e'zines.  The commentary isn't exactly
 revolutionary (these things Edgar brings up have been said hundreds of times
 before) but I find it particularly important because it's from an outsider.
 
      Note that I attempted to get in contact with Edgar via email.  I wanted
 to get more information so I could add to this piece; what is different
 about British television?  Could you compare and contrast?  Unfortunately,
 after a few weeks I haven't received a response, so I'm releasing this as
 is.

      Also note that I edited this slightly as far as simple grammar goes
 (commas, semi-colons, etc) but the remainder is as I found it.  Another
 thing to keep in mind is that, because Edgar is from Britain, he uses
 different spelling (most obvious is "programmes" instead of "programs" or
 the usage of S instead of Z).  Anyway, enough of the introduction.  Here.


                                    *******


 From edc@comtex.co.uk Thu May 29 23:50:18 1997
 Newsgroups: alt.politics.equality,rec.arts.tv,rec.sport.pro-wrestling,
             rec.arts.tv.uk.misc,uk.media.tv.misc,rec.arts.tv.soaps.misc,
             alt.books.george-orwell,soc.culture.british,
             alt.renewing.american.civilization,alt.nuke.europe,
             art.fan.art-bell
 Subject: American Television is Dreadfully Stupid. How the Hell Can You Sit
          Through Endless Insulting Commercials?
 From: Edgar Carlsbad <edc@comtex.co.uk>
 Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 22:50:18 -0500

 I am constantly shocked at how stupid and mindless American TV is.  I have 
 just returned from spending three months working there and I am
 flabbergasted at how you Americans can stand such low class rubbish.  It is
 a terrible reflection of your society:  crass commercialisation and poor
 quality programming.  How the hell do you stand it at all?

 The sitcoms fall between retarded sexualisation or dealing with America's 
 racial problems by parading stereotypes.  Most tragic of all, American TV 
 serves as a substitute for real friends or a proper family life. 

 The sexualisation of children on American TV is shocking.  Speaks volumes 
 about the miserable existance American children are raised in these days.
 The latchkey generations abandoned by their selfish mothers who "did the
 whole kid thing, but now want to find myself and my career" types who give
 an endless parade of shrinks a lucrative lifestyle.

 The never-ending violence is deeply disturbing.  Programmes with titles like
 "Scary Cop Shoot-Outs" and other home videos of planes falling from the sky
 passed-off as science shows just so the morbid individuals can justify
 their sick fascination with violent death and suffering.

 Your so called news programmes are nothing more than propaganda designed to
 keep the corporate state in power and your pockets as empty as your lives.
 Lots of information about how crappy life is in the rest of the world
 followed by how great things are here in the good 'ol US of A.  Yipee! 

 No wonder only 5% of Americans have passports; your government fears that
 you may find out that the quality of life in the US is shit next to Europe,
 Canada, Down Under, and so on.

 Sports programmes are just as retarded as the stupid meaningless sports 
 programming you "enjoy" over there.  I cannot understand it at all.  I must
 have heard the word "EXTREME" about a million times to let me know how
 exciting American sports are.  They are childish and cater to people of low
 IQ.  American TV producers have a very low opinion of their viewers.

 Endless shows about UFOs and mostly 'End of The World' programmes which 
 speaks to the heart in a very roundabout way that America is finished as a
 society.

 But even when I found something interesting, the enjoyment was ruined by the
 non-stop commercials that you get before the show begins, then right after
 the intro and then six (yes 6!) more times before a half hour show is done.
 A half-hour show in America is really about 16 to 18 minutes long - the rest
 is all ads!
 
 I don't know how you Americans can sit through such idiotic excrement, but
 after meeting you first hand and seeing how most of you are quite
 brainwashed, I see the real purpose of this TV media in your country.

 George Orwell's 1984 is about present day America as far as I am concerned.
 You are all so controlled you may as well be a nation of veal calves.

 You have my prayers.

 Edgar


                                    *******

                          
      I couldn't agree more, Edgar.

      What's especially sad, though, is that nobody really cares.  Edgar got
 a tremendous amount of flames from people who read this.

      Our nation is content to let the powers that be do the thinking for
 them.  No, this is not the generic "fuck the government!" rant.  This isn't
 about the government at all, actually.  It's about *you* - you people who
 get some sort of twisted satisfaction watching Bob Saget show you home
 videos of fat people every Sunday night.  You people who'd rather watch
 Jenny McCarthy shake her tits on a dating show full of halfwit fratboys and
 meat-drunk gutterwhores than READ A FUCKING BOOK.

      Don't get me wrong.  Television itself isn't bad.  Infact, it's the
 most efficient form of communication that we, as a species, have at our
 disposal.  This was most evident during the Gulf "War."  If a member of my
 family or a friend was involved in that, I'd most certainly be glued to the
 idiot box to make sure everything was going well.  I would *not* be
 switching to yet another made-for-TV movie starring a pregnant Jaclyn Smith
 in mid-divorce and a coma during the CNN news breaks.

      Some people say that television is used to control the masses.
 Although this is an immature, paranoid, and very radical point of view, it
 isn't so far from the truth.  Television isn't used to *control* the masses,
 but it sure is suggestive, isn't it?

      We have become braindead.  I deal with people every day at work and I
 witness it firsthand.  I literally have to teach people, step by step, how
 to activate a gas pump because they're so used to being spoonfed information
 by television, parents, and our school system that they've lost the ability
 to do anything by themselves.  "Two legs good, four legs bad."  The whole
 bit.  It's frightening.  You may have went to med school for 12 years to
 earn your doctorate in neurology but you can't even fucking pump gas into
 your Lexus.

      Am I saying that television should take full blame?  No.  Am I saying
 Edgar and his jolly good pals in England have no trouble activating a gas
 pump?  No.  If you don't know what I'm saying by now, just stop reading and
 go back to Baywatch.  Do you have any idea how much you've missed by reading
 my tight-assed banter?  Pamela Anderson is half-naked and wet RIGHT NOW.  

      So hit your escape key.  It's the one on the far top-left of your
 keyboard labelled "Esc."  What you do is place your finger on top of it and
 push it down.  It will make this disappear.

      If you're reading this in DOS Edit, the only way to get out of this is
 by pressing two keys at once.  I will not bother teaching you how to do that
 because it will give you a stroke.  Just hit the power button.


                                  - Styx

                                styx@dto.net
                           dropdead@mindspring.com

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions  =
= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com                       (Mail is welcomed)  =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=  To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with  =
=   "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back   =
=    issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed.   =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
= AnonFTP     FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK                      =
=             FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids           =
=             FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK                       =
=             FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK                                =
= WWW         http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho                         =
=             http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html                        =
=             http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k                       =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=       (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author.        =
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
