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=  F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.  =
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                              Mindfuck
                              --------

        It only took me 21 years to figure out life, and the reason
        behind it. It is 'gods' way of fucking with us. Now, I don't
        belive in god, but I am agnostic. Something up there has a
        hell of a lot more power than I do, and possibly controls part
        of my life or whatnot. I don't know, but I am open to ideas.

        Anyway, whether it is god, fate, a set of gods, or whatever
        else you believe in, I have found the answer to it all.

        Tonight I was reading back through old letters and cards from
        friend's and families thinking about the past. I keep all
        incoming letters like that in a file folder, and tonight I
        went back through it. I found that reading them brought up
        good memories as well as bad, but mostly good. It hit me that
        whoever created us humans, was quite clever. I can see
        him/her/it saying 'This will be the ultimate mind fuck...the
        human race'.

        We go through life meeting thousands of people. Out of those
        thousands, you actually know maybe a hundred or so pretty
        well, even less become good friends, and only a select few
        become your best friends. If you are prone to moving, desiring
        change, or whatever, sit back and think back to all your old
        friends, from high school, college, old neighborhoods, or
        wherever else.

        The ultimate mindfuck is this: Of all those people you knew so
        well, you don't really remember them. All of the good times in
        the past are just that...over. Even by reading something that
        reminds you of it, looking at pictures, or talking to the
        person, you can only retrive a fragment of the good time you
        had with them. The human brain can't remember events with
        enough clarity to be a feasible way to escape to the past. All it can
        do is make you feel like total shit for not keeping in touch
        with those people or wishing to be back in that time.

        Think back to past friends you spent a lot of time with. Why
        were they such a good friend? In the first five minutes you
        think about this, you will probably come to the same
        conclusion I did. "They were just cool". Now sit there longer
        and think back to what events led up to meeting the person,
        things you did early on, later on, and so forth. Probably
        twenty minutes later you are thinking "I really miss that
        person being around. Why didn't I stay in touch?"

        So you are doomed to continue through life, making new
        friends, having more good times, only to sit down years from
        now and see that it is all over, and that you remember it to
        be a good time, but still not able to recall exactly what made
        it that way. You can only remember the basic events, some
        minor details etc.

        Conclusion? I have none. Neither you nor I will go through
        life thinking 'I better remember this event more closely so
        that I may enjoy it later down the road'. Keep meeting people,
        and enjoy the time you spend with them. Later down the road,
        don't spend a lot of time thinking about them, and don't
        become depressed about it. That defeats the purpose of those
        'good' memories.


                                DisordeR

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