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               ( RAT! : Rebel Anarchistic Tendencies III )
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Ooohh. I feel good again. Before I start, I think I might just go down to
a slum and tell all the people there is a recession coming.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   *** This file was created for the enjoyment of users of the CrossOver ***
                 *** Bulletin Board and associate boards.  ***

Story By : Doc (Dr Who) & Avalon ..

Editors  : Avalon .. & Doc       [ funny that! - Ed ]

If you're offended, please come and then belt me up.  I'm into bondage at the
moment.  Bring your whips, chains and egg-beaters for a great fun filled
evening for the whole family!  I'll invite Idi Amin, The Ayatollah, Deng
Xiaoping and George Negus over too to give us a few tips.

[The above is the author's poor attempt at a disclaimer.  ie, if you don't like
it, stiff bickies. Hopefully you can't sue us.-Ed.]

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                        Ring These Boards....
                  --------------------------------

CitiBank ......... 800-223-3317         US War Department ........ 401-841-3436
Pentagon ......... 202-545-6706         US Defence Department .... 703-781-4531
CIA Computer ..... 800-353-9801         The CrossOver BBS ........ 003-367-5816
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                      Janine's Search For Satisfaction.
                     -----------------------------------

                  A novel in three (and a bit more) chapters.

                                  Featuring ..

        Janine .......................... In Her First Leading Role.
        Night Stalker ................... As Her Boyfriend & Sysop.
        Lash Clone ...................... As Night Stalker's Best Mate.
        Crystal ......................... As Janine's Best Friend.
        Avalon .......................... As Janine's Love Child.
        Armour Byte ..................... As The Postman.
        Slash Aggro ..................... As Brigitte's Friend.
        Brigitte Lambert ................ As The Innocent Young Girl.
        Lance Link ...................... As King Dood-le.
        Bee Modem ....................... As Egghead's Underling.
        Egg Head ........................ As Bee Modem's Underling.
        Dr Who (a.k.a Doc) .............. As Himself (How boring ?! - Ed)

        Chapter One : One More Of Night Stalker's Secrets Is Revealled.
       -----------------------------------------------------------------

   "Janine, ", started Night Stalker, "I have something to tell you."
Janine finished her message to Avalon on the board, and logged off.
   "Whatsup honey?" she said with a smile, and made herself comfortable in the
sofa next to Night Stalker.  Strangely, Night Stalker shifted a little in his
seat, fumbled, shifted some more, fumbled a lot.  Then started.  And stopped.
And started again.
   "Janine, I have something to tell you."
   Janine sat there, mouth open, still waiting for Night Stalker to actually
say something intelligent. "Yes?", she asked, hoping this would bring something
intelligible.  Night Stalker was not usually like this, and Janine sensed
something was not entirely hunky dory at the moment.
        "Janine. I'm gay." spurted Night Stalker.
        Janine laughed.  She swung her head, focused on the little man next to
her, and said.. "Get Serious."
        "No, Janine. Its true.  I can't hold it back anymore.  I can't. I'm
sorry, Janine. But I can't.".  Night Stalker was almost crying now.  "You see,
ever since HIM at the bbs meet, well, I.. I.. ".  Night Stalker was stammering.
 It was obviously emotionally upsetting. But I must give him credit, its not
all the time do you have to play the part of a self-styled stud turning
homosexual.
        A knock on the door broke the scene like a fire alarm during a saonce.
Janine, stunned, rose and answered the door.  It was Lance Link.
        "Bye, Janine.", blubbered Night Stalker, and he walked out the
door.Janine glared at Lance, Lance smiled sadistically.
        "Ahh ya poofta!", screamed Janine, and slammed the door on Lance.  She
started to cry as she heard their footsteps walking away, a car door open,
slam, an engine start, as they roared away.
        Janine fell back into the grey sofa, and stared hopelessly at the
enormous Swatch watch on the wall.

              Chapter Two : Janine Begins Her Search.
              ---------------------------------------

        Several weeks passed.  Try as she might, she could not seem to forget
about Night Stalker but couldn't for the life of her work out why.  Afterall he
was gay...he could-I could have AIDS.  These thoughts and more kept crossing
her mind, nightmares ruled her sleep, unwanted daydreams her spare time.  She
needed something to fill the void left by Night Stalker but she had quickly
found that a ******** was not the answer.
        One day, as Janine sat infront of the CrossOver, staring at D'Bridge,
waiting for someone to logon, Lash Clone returned from two weeks imitating
Rambo.  Janine looked up from the monitor, bored without Night Stalker in her
life, and sighed.. "Oh its you.."
        "Hi!", said the Adonis.  Lash stood over six foot, wore just a pair of
Hawaii shorts, and boasted sun-tanned muscles like balloons under pressure.
Janine stared.  Suddenly she realised there was something attractive about
muscles.  Especially lots of them.  Night Stalker never had any, so she really
hadn't paid attention to them before.
        "How long are you staying for?" enquired Janine.
        "Oh, not long.", grunted Lash, as he easily lifted twelve suit-cases of
Hawaii shorts into his bedroom.
        "Lash..", began Janine, trying to get his attention.
        Lash Clone looked up.  He was now doing push-ups on the floor with one
hand.
        "Lash, have you got a ... a .you-know...girlfriend at the moment?"
        "Nah.", said Lash. "But I'm dating this chick I met at the gym the
other day. Wadja ask?".  Lash was now flexing muscles infront of a full length
mirror.
        "Lash...do you find me.. sorta.. attractive in any way?" asked Janine,
smiling and blinking between poses.
        Lash boxed with the wall, and quickly replied.."Why, yeah. Sure.". He
bounced into his bedroom, wheeled out his tricycle, and said ..."Hey! I'll be
back in a few hours.  I'm off for my daily ride around the city. Hey! I feel so
fit, I think I'll do it twice.".
        "You ready Crystal ?", he said as he walked out the door.
        "Ready when you are.", she replied.
        Off sped Lash and Crystal, leaving Janine with the dust and the farm.

              Chapter Three : The Uninvited Visitor.
              --------------------------------------

        Janine was getting desperate.  She had now gone four weeks without
relief.  Being alone at the farm gave her little opportunity to meet men. Even
that odd looking postman that came about once a month began to look marginally
interesting only the posty didn't come often enough - according to local
gossip. Unfortunately there were no milkmen anymore either; they had become a
part of local myth which also said they only came early in the morning - if at
all. There was knock on the door.
        Janine sprung to her feet, and rushed to open the door.  Her heart was
pounding, who could it be now?
        "Hi Janine. Is Night Stalker home?" asked a tall gangly person wearing
a sweaty fibre jacket and riding shorts.
        Janine's heart sank. "Avalon, would you like to come (in) ?", she
sighed.
        "Oh.. um..isn't he home?", Avalon asked. "I only came to work on the
Crossover.  It needs some new menus I've decided - perhaps some games - and how
about a menu that lets you post mail to other users - and and and.." Avalon was
now sitting infront of the computer, typing away. "And.. then I'll use
localised machine code to sort the incoming fido mail from the remote
connection, and transfer it using bit processing to somehow force the user to
read all mail so that the user statistics board will look a lot better and I'm
sure that the archives could do with a new menu perhaps also we should run one
of Doc's great adventure games I've heard that his latest one is all about
Love, Lust & How To Get Dumped By Kate Kennedy and then we could run tradewars
along side this and incorporate the two with a low level assembler code which
would scan all keys and play both games at once while it transfers mail and ...
maybe I should dump the adventure, not being SYNproof [ not funny Avalon! - Ed]
and.."
        Janine put a video on.
        Avalon had shut up, and typed away contentedly.  The video started off
simple enough.  A few previews of "Fearless Fred's Home Movies", and then the
credits. "Too much too soon - Brigitte Lambert's Life Story." was the title.
Strange, Janine had never seen this one before.  Perhaps it was one of Night
Stalker's blue movies [that's a porno you ignoramus! -Ed] he played at bbs
meets.  She slid back into the sofa and waited intently.

        *RING* *RI-*

        Janine picked up the phone so quickly that the two cats sitting in her
lap landed in the open fire and began to sizzle as their meows echoed through
the house.  [ you are sick Avalon! - Ed]
        "Hello ?", Janine whispered eagerly down the phone.
        "Erh hi, umm, err is Night Stalker there, I need to talk to him about
my access on.."
        "Fu-- Bee Modem, how are you ?", asked Janine.
        "erh, umm, fine I think, just a tic I'll consult my multimeter.",
plugging himself into it, pushing a few buttons and turning a few knobs he came
up with the answer.  "umm, err it says that I am not as well as I could be
sorta thing."
        "What does it say ?", Janine demanded.
        "erh, umm, it says....erh umm that I am...err umm a ...err
umm...virgin.  ooooohhhh..that was great Egghead..err oops...umm"
        "huh?....oh....well goodbye", and with that Janine hung up.

        Returning to the movie, she watched the last of the credits rolled by.
In typical fashion, the movie was a blue movie.  As the movie dragged on, so
did Janine's mouth fall open as she watched in awe at the things that the
athletic Brigitte was able to perform.
        "oooohh", Janine uttered as she watched them do the 1069th position.
        Turning round, Avalon took a quick glimpse at the scene which had
caused the reaction.  "Oh that's nothing", he remarked, turning back to the
Crossover.
        "What'd you mean that's nothing ?", asked the envious Janine.
        "Oh wait, you'll know the good bits when they come.  I was her trainer
for the movie, how else do you think she'd be able to make those moves ?"
        Janine began to think that if she could do some of those moves, Night
Stalker would give up being gay.
        "Umm, could you show me how to do some of those moves ?"
        "Later...watch the movie first you might learn a few things."
        "But will you show me how to do them ?"
        "If you stop hassling, maybe then yes.", Avalon said with tone of
annoyance in her voice.  [uh oh was that a typo or .... -Ed]
        Disgruntled, Janine sat back in the sofa and watched the rest of the
movie..

[I don't believe this is happening! Janine is not stupid. - Ed]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        "uuuuurrrggghhh", Brigitte moaned as Slash licked the cream from her
thighs, which trembled with each lick.
        Slash deceided that Brigitte was finally ready, maneuvering into
position, he found it quite easily.

         .....................[ C E N S O R E D ]....................

[damn! -Ed]

        "What happened ?", said a voice from nowhere.
        "I think I came too soon.", sobbed Slash, looking at the motionless
lump of flesh that was once Brigitte Lambert.
        "Oh well, at least she didn't live to be 18."
        "Yeah", replied Slash, "but shit was she good!"

                                  THE  END

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                     Chapter Five :  From Out Of Nowhere
                    -------------------------------------


        "Rotten fucking male-chauvenist-sexist-pigs!", Janine exclaimed,
throwing a shoe into the TV, blowing it and the multi-megabuck stero equipment
up.  "Try listening to Boy-George or Divine now Night Stalker!".
        Whirling around, she expected Avalon to be sitting at the Crossover.
"oops", she whimpered as her other shoe blew up the monitor for the Crossover.
"Where's the car keys ?  I think its a bout time I..", she said to herself.
        "About time you what ?", demanded Doc, standing in the doorway to the
kitchen,  sharpening a few knives.
        "Err..never mind slave, get back to work NOW, I told you I wanted a
full 6 course meal, with roast and salads for tonite!".
        "Yes mam, please forgive my insolence.", and with that Doc returned to
the kitchen, still sharpening his knives.
        "Damn Avalon, walked out on me again!  I swear next time I see him I
will slit his throat!  Too bad if he's an arsehole."

[Later that night....]

       "Hi darling, I'm home", yelled a not too unfamiliar voice.
       "Night Stalker ?", Janine said from the bath.
       "yeah...where are you ?"
       "Taking a bath.  Be careful not to trip--"
*BANG!* *CRASH!*
       "trip on the power cord for the....oh never mind.  What are you back
for?", asked Janine.
       "What am I back for ?", repeated Night Stalker, "oh just this and that,
you know, all the things I forgot to take the last time I left."
       "Get out you bastard!", said Janine, followed by half the water in th
bath tub.
       "Only kidding", complained Night Stalker, as he started to take off his
wet clothes.  "The real reason I came back was for you."
       Blushing, Janine was lost for words for a moment.  "But I thought you
were gay and....what's going on Night Stalker?", asked a confused Janine.
       "Oh all that, ", stepping into the tub, "..was just to see how much you
really liked me."

                          -  DA ENDTH  -

A few weeks later the happy couple were married in the Church Of FellowShip For
Craig Bowen And Other Divine Gods, vows read by her holiness Cardinal Syn, and
they lived happily ever after...

[Don't you love happy endings too? - Ed]


[If you are wondering where Chapter Four was then you were right for wondering.
 It is there but I couldn't decide where to put the heading so I left it
out.-Ed.]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                           Ye Olde Awards..
                           ----------------

Lazy Bum Sysop Award.........................................Night Stalker
   (2 months down!!)

Pet Care Award......................................................Janine

Skeg Award.....................................................Slash Aggro

Tri-athlete Award...............................................Lash Clone

Snail Squasher's Award.......................................Fearless Fred

Loozers Of The Month..............................................Keneniah
(go ahead, lick my lollies!)                                  The Stranger

Movie Conousieur Award....................................Brigitte Lambert

Editor Award........................................................Avalon
(I told you not to release the bloody thing yet.)

Gullible Award...................................................Eugene IP
(Acid Man, are you really 37, married to Cool Charm, have a son called
Masked Avenger and run Zen BBS with 15 lines? Wow!)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 YOURMOTHERNOTONLYSUCKSCOCKSINHELLANDBRAGSABOUTITATTHEBRIDGECLUBTHENEXTDATAND
NOTONLYWALKSTHROUGHSHOPPINGCENTRESTRYINGOUTALLTHEKNOBSONTHEELECTRICALAPPLIANCES
   BUTALSOHASBEENSEENATTENDINGMASKEDAVENGERFUNDEDSATANWORSHIPRITUALSSOTHERE!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

        A free Netcomm to the first person to decifer the above.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

          RAT3! - Rebel Anarchistic Tendencies. (Part III)

NB: There was never a RAT2. It was never released and I don't know how the hell
it got into the TZ file area.

RAT! is the alternative to Anarchistic Tendencies for those who call The
CrossOver BBS, and used to call The Bug Factory.

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                            Next issue..
                           --------------

There won't be another one.
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You might have a few rights, especially if you are carrying a sawn-off shot gun
aimed at my head.

cya


