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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #757
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888            "It's Not the School's Fault"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "            by Big Daddy Bill
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o              7/24/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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	No Fear.

	Above The Rim.

	Whoop-Ass.

	We all know what these are: t-shirt slogans that everybody wears yet
 nobody knows why.  Why is it that we, as high school students, must wear
 these one-phrased shirts that society views as immoral, unconstitutional,
 and downright stupid?  The answer is simple: we don't know.

	If you count the number of No Fear shirts in a common school, you'll
 get more than 60% of the student population wearing them.  Yet if you ask
 every single one of them if they have a phobia, more than one will say
 something along the lines of "I'm afraid of the dark" or "Peaches frighten
 me terribly."

	Do we really believe these simple, everyday high school students are
 the best basketball players known to man, as their shirts claim they are?
 Why don't they just wear a shirt that says "I'm better than you at
 basketball" than something that says "It takes a big man to cry, it takes
 a bigger man to make him cry"?  Does that really have anything to do with
 basketball?  What that says to me is that they go around making giant men
 cry, and then they themselves grow to phenomenal heights once they have
 achieved it.  That, my friend, is freakish.

	I remember when people would say, "I'm going to open up a can of
 Spam, the delicious, synthetic meat/pork/beef/turkey in a can."  Now, it's
 "I'm gonna open up a can of Whoop-Ass on y'all."  Just the thought of
 someone opening up a can of food and dumping it on people is disturbing
 enough, yet they named the product "Whoop-Ass"?  And could someone please
 tell me where to get this stuff?  I've only turned up empty-handed in my
 quest for a can of Whoop-Ass.  Yes, I've even looked over at Aldi's.

	We all know that jobs are hard to find, and when we get one we like
 to let everyone know; but must we print it on our t-shirts?  I've seen
 several men and women express that they were "Porn Stars," clearly written
 on the back of their shirts.  I asked a female in the mall if she would
 like to star in her own flick.  I, of course, would do the filming, and
 the, uh, co-starring... she didn't accept that idea very well.

	I say we should stop this t-shirt trend and start a new generation.
 We should have shirts that say what is really going on in the world today.
 Instead of No Fear, it should be something like "You made me wet my pants
 'cause I'm so gosh-darned scared."  Instead of Above The Rim, it should be
 "My mom said I was good, so I'm going on that."  I think you get my point.
 T-shirts like "I still live at home" and "I drive a Gremlin" should become
 popular, along with not "Porn Star" but "McDonalds" and "Hardees."

	Maybe one day we can be free of horrible, yet popular t-shirt
 slogans.  What I'd like to see is... and I'm wiping a tear from my eye as I
 even think about this... a Central Alternative High Schjool Dragons Uniform!
 It could be purple and gold, and we could have wing tips and coat tails and
 everything...!

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #757 - BY: BIG DADDY BILL - 7/24/99 ]
