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 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #950 -- 12/08/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$
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	hello. this is hard to know how to start this (corny I know) cos
 I've never written for this publication (if you could call it that?) or
 any publication at all actually. oh well what's that got to do with
 anything??

 	I figure this site is all about ranting. so that's hat I'm here to
 do. just write and talk about stuff. cos I could talk forever.  well talk
 forever in type, I don't talk much in real life

 	argh fucking over type, what is the point of it?? No-one needs it
 or uses it ever do they? it would definitely be abolished if I ruled the
 world, the fist thing maybe. After the monarchy. there's even less use
 for them they are useless dumb flag scum!! hahaha

 	well my point ladies and gentlemen. yeah it was to tell you about
 my master plan

 	it's not to take over the world at all in fact. it’s more personal
 than that. if you don't even have a slight plan in life, if you don't
 want anything, you should just kill yourself, I think. what's the point
 in living if there's nothing to look forward to? When people commit
 suicide it must be cos they believe there's nothing to look forward to.
 well maybe. but i'm away from the point again

	so this is my plan. you may not like it, but, well, fuck you. i
 don't give a shit, as i said it's personal.

	first i'm gonna go through all my schooling (you know i'm only 14
 :o) please don't stop reading now). i'm not stupid. i don't wanna be
 ignorant about anything. i wanna be someone with someone with something
 to SAY. i think school is important although it is REALLY REALLY boring.
 i have a fuck off big piece of english and maths to do when i'm done
 doing this. it'll probably keep me up all night, oh well i won't be able
 to sleep anyway. shit i'm side tracking again sorry, i'm like Holden from
 Catcher In the Rye :o). so where was i? oh yeah i want to be clever not
 stupid. i can't stand all these people who say they don't give a fuck
 about school, their futures bleak enough already do they really want to
 make it worse and fail all their exams???

	so anyway, by this time hopefully i'll have learnt to play the
 guitar and generally be musical. because i wanna be a rock star. yes i
 wanna be **punk rock star bitch scum**. And why the hell not??? i bet i
 can do it, it'll be fun, like the rock and roll lifestyle. have fun. live
 a bit. and make some really good music hopefully. i'm in love so much
 with rock and roll ideology. it just appeals so much. i wanna get fucked
 up then better again. If i don't succeed in this then i'll kill myself, i
 expect.

	after that i'm gonna write a book. you see i love writing stories
 and any kind of writing altogether really (i'm writing this aren't i?)
 and i have a great idea for a book, if the idea'll stick all the way till
 then. it won't be an autobiography, but something else. it'll be about a
 girl, she's just killed herself. the whole book is her suicide note. its
 gonna cross real and her fairyland, and it's gonna be a fucking good
 read.

	now i can tell what you're thinking already: stupid girl who does
 she think she is? she'll achieve none of them. well ok maybe you're right
 i'm not a particularly ambitious person. but i wanna d this there's not
 much else. If not i'll kill myself. What is there in the future??? To
 quote the Clash: "The ice age is coming the suns zooming in engines stop
 running the wheat is growing thin. a nuclear error but i have no fear".
 but that's the difference i'm shit scared of the future. it's true,
 everything's running out and we'll have used up this planet in no time. i
 can't use what i can't abuse, is that the world s motto?? maybe. more
 people more fucking mobile phones./ less feelings. and i'm never gonna
 find love who does??? I'm such a pessimist but i don't care i'm gonna die
 anyway what's the fucking point? I can be like Sid and say that I DID IT
 MY WAY.

	that would have been a good time to end this. 

	"i know i believe in nothing but it is my nothing"

                                            -- Manic Street Preachers

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!       HOE #950, BY BLACK*RUINED - 12/08/99 ]
