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                    ³      ÚÄÙ    ³         ÄÄ¿        ÚÄÄÙ
                    ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ      ³           ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ

                    Damned       Fucking        Shit
                        Edited by Access Denied

                              Issue #18
                      Title: A Chat On Blurred Vision
                      Date: 1/14/94
                      By: Anonymous
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯


[Editor's Note: Well, seeing that this was sent in anonymously, I can't in
 anyway verify the authenticity of this.  So if you are the sysop of Blurred
 Vision and this didn't really happen to you, oh well.  Write something about
 it and maybe I'll publish it.  If this DID happen though, thanks, a lot of
 people will laugh.  So anyway, this may have happened, it may have not.  In
 any case, it's pretty funny.  -AD]

                       A Chat On Blurred Vision

This chat was captured from a board called Blurred Vision.
The SysOp is a twit.  Read and you will see why.


              ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ THiS BULLETiN BOARD iS PRiVATE ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
              ÀÄÄÄÄÄ iF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN iNViTED, HANGUP NOW ÄÄÄÄÙ

ÄÄÄ Enter your account name or number
ÄÄÄ New users type NEW
[þ LOGiN þ]: NEW
Newuser password: ÛÛÛÛÛÛ
Newuser password:

%LF, (( XXXXX )) has broken in to chat..

Identify yourself.
***Straight to the point.

hold please

Identify yourself.
***A man of many words.

Bob

Bob what?!

Bob Smith.

WHere did you get this #?

War dialer

Yeah.. how did you get the NUP?

War dialer?

Get lost you fuckwad before i take drastic measures..
***Oh no!  Not that!

What is drastic measures?

It means if i find out who you are, you will not have a reputation in the
morning.
***Wow.  What a scary guy!

I don't have one yet.

Hang up.

But why?

Cuz you were not invited to this board.
***No shit.

How do I get invited?

First of all, you don't read autoposts at MOSH

How else?

Get a fucking life..

Why are you being so mean?

Becuase you're not supposed to be here.

But I thought it was for everyone?

You thought wrong.

But I'm such a good user...I have tons of files..

Identify yourself.
***Here we go again.

Let's just say I'm a good user.

Identify yourself.

I've been informed to the identity of this person you are looking for.
***He's looking for some Gath Baal guy or some shit..
***He wants to kill him for some reason...

Identify that individual.

Golf Ball or something.

Identify his true identity.

What will I get for it?

Identify his true identity.

His first name is Chris.

Is this person Chris P$%@$?
***                   ^^^^ For this lamers sake, we'll protect his name.

Could be..

Thank you for complying.

No problem.

Leave me.

But, your presence enlightens me.

Identify yourself.

Sam.

State your full identity.

Yosemite Sam.

Incorrect response.. State your Handle.

Yosemete Sam!

Incorrect response.. State your handle.

Whatchamacalit.

I know who you are.  If you persist, you will be executed.
***Death by drool? :)

Then if you know who I am, why do you keep asking me?

You are N#@#@#@#@.
***We'll protect his identity too..

Yep.

You are not welcome here.

But I'm a good user.

You are not one of the chosen.

But it is my destiny.

Alex says to go away.

Alex who?

Alex J#@#@#.
***And his..

That's me.

You lie like a dog.

Dog's don't lie, they lay.

Leave me.

Like a tree?

Leave me.. or you will suffer.

Suffer what?

The consequences.

What were those again?

Death by means of Blacklisture.

Blacklisture?

Yes.

Could you define that for me?

The ruining of an individuals "BBS" life.

But, according to you, I don't have one.

Then you have nothing to worry about. Leave me.

If I have nothing to worry about, why don't you let me on?

Because you do not have the proper New User Password.

So fill me in.

The New User Password is "G"

No it's not.

Ok.. i lied.. it's Crtl-Alt-Del..

Is that with the dashes?

no.. hist Crtl, then Alt, then Del.. (Hold them all down real tight)

On my keyboard?

Yes.

I don't have a Ctrl key...just little Apples.
***Heh heh

Uhh.. get out of my fucking face.

I am supposed to tell you I have access on the best board in the AC.

What board would that be?

P$^!#^*& L&!@.
***Don't want to get sued, you know.

Identify your handle on P@$%$?&% L^&@.

N#^#@ M%&@!#.

You are not N#^#@ M%&@!#.  N^@$^ M%!*#^ does not currently reside in the 414.

Yes I do.

C!$&$!, leave now.

This is not C#%$%&

If you don't leave now, i'll be forced to use *69.

Isn't that a little personal?  I just met you.

Get off this carrier.  Hang up.

What's a carrier?

Leave me.

Who do you think this is?

<hold><now calling your residence><XXX-XXXX>

Wrong..my phone isn't ringing..

<please wait>

Well?

You are not N!^!$%&*!.  Identify Yourself.

B@# D#@#.

Big Lie.  Identify Yourself.

Z@#@#@.

Incorrect Response.

W#@.

What is your full name?

Abdul Clamwacker.

Greetings Zach K!#$&~!@#.. How may help you?

How come you keep deleting me?

What is your voice #?

XXX-XXXX.

Correct.  What happened after i left, that one night.

What night would that be?

The one when me and DW went to Hammer's?

We got laid.

Incorrect Response.  Try Again.

We got drunk.

One more guess.  Than you will be cut off.

From what?

This carrier.

You still haven't told me what a carrier is.

You are dumb.  Figure it out.

How?

Get a life.

Where?

Forget it.. goodbye

NO CARRIER

***What a nice guy, eh?



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