               ,...
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               $$$$T""P$$$ba,  ,gd&P""T&bg.   ,gd&P""T&bg.              
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               $$$$    $$$$$$ T$$$$    $$$$P T$$$$                      
 $$$""""" "    """"    $$$$$$  "T&$bxxd$&P"   "T&$bxx$$$$$'   "  """""$$$
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 ggg         "The Random Nybarius Internet Compendium, Vol I"         ggg
 $$$                           by -> Nybar                            $$$
 $$$                                                                  $$$
 $$$             (* HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #908 -- 11/29/99 *)          .,$$$
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	This is a compilation of things Nybar has supposedly written which
 appear on the Internet. It is in response to Mogel's contention that
 Nybar is a "genius". These writings not only proves that Nybar is not a
 genius, it proves he is a retard. Here they are:

 ---> (see http://fps.enterthegame.com/pgl_s4/default.htm) 

                          Immy vs k9-gloucester

	Immy seemed fidgety before this match, fiddling with his mouse,
 drivers, asking that blinking lights be turned off, etc. When he heard
 the map (q2dm3), he lol'd, as this is one of his fav. maps (I lol'd too,
 it's funny as hell to watch this in real-time.) Gloucester, though,
 quickly showed him it was no laughing matter... he got off to an early
 lead of 5-0 (as I remember). Once he was ahead, he just kind of stayed
 away from immortal without controlling the areas... non-aggressively
 avoiding him. I was sure this was a mistake against immy, since it gives
 HIM the height and armor advantage. Then, glouc got control back, and
 started actively p1mping and controlling the areas. This role-reversal
 seemed to take immy by suprise, and he already didn't seem to be playing
 at his best (falling into the lava, etc.) After the game was over, he
 "declined comment" to the commentator... he was not a happy camper at
 this point.

                             Vorador vs Jmaster 

    	At first, Vorador simply owns the map. In the very last part, when
 it's too late, Jmaster comes back. He manages to save a portion of his
 ego, but it was too little, too late.

                               Kuin vs Sybek 

	Sybek and Kuin are good friends, and they were laughing about this
 afterward (which is a good thing... grudge matches from q2 <of all
 things> are stupid ;) )... but while the match was on, this was total
 war. Kuin straight up owns sybek with his dominating rockets and
 practiced nerves (I think he's the most experienced with tournaments of
 The 12.) Kuin has a lock-up at one point, when he's ahead something like
 18 to -1. When they come back, he allows Sybek to get the RL while he
 gets the MH. He comes out winning 19 to 0. (it's amazing an a|d<Llama>
 like Kuin is doing so well, no?)

                         Bad-Habit versus Sabatoj

	This was one of the better matches of the day. Bad-Habit jumps to
 a very early lead, 5-0 I think, but Sabatoj regains his compusure and
 makes a comeback. Bad-Habit re-applies the smackdown, and at this point I
 think Sabatoj kind of cracked under the pressure, because his game broke
 down.

                              Immy vs Jmaster

	Haha, immy was MERCILESSLY taunting JM. I was cracking up, because
 I was looking over makaveli's shoulder to watch this match on his p1mping
 webcast computer, and immy kept saying "Wow JMaster, you beat Makaveli?
 You're my HERO". Immy also does stuff like give Jmaster a rail gun, tell
 Jmaster where he is, etc. Immortal seems to be getting scrappy after his
 first-round defeat.

                           Sybek versus Sabatoj 

	*THIS IS A GREAT MATCH. GET IT RIGHT NOW.* This was a phenomenally
 close match, which sabatoj tied up in the last 10 seconds before it was
 over. In the overtime, it see-sawed back and forth... I almost peed
 myself. Sybek finally took the match, leaving sabatoj not looking too
 happy.

                                Kuin vs BH

	(Q2DM1) Kuin plays a very aggressive game in the first part. He
 does things like charge the main elevator and rushing at BH. He got a
 huge 10-0 lead at about 10 minutes, and then avoided conflict while
 staying in control. He played a very solid defensive game at this point.
 It was a good match. Kuin told me afterward that he had played BH before,
 and knew that playing aggressively would throw him off his game, since he
 was used to a soft, fuzzy Kuin.

                             Vorador vs K9-g

	This was happening at the same time as Kuin vs BH, so I didn't see
 anything but the tail end of this. From the score updates, it was tied
 most of the time. In the last couple seconds, gloucester was winning 4-3,
 when he went up the elevator. In a last minute ploy, Vorador dropped down
 on the main elevator with hyperblaster and k9-g was going up. K9-g got
 taken out, amazingly. Then, he got spawn-raped. It looked like a pretty
 amazing match... glouc said after that he wasn't hitting the landing
 shots (when a player jumps down and you hit them on the landing). This
 demo isn't up for downloading yet, but it looked like a good match.

 ---> (see http://fps.enterthegame.com/demos.htm) 

	Hi, this is Nybar, from clan a|d (ETG #afterdeath) speaking. I'd
 just like to point something out, which is... HPBs are largely ignored in
 the competetive realm. Now, this happens for obvious reasons, (HPB matchs
 seem less impressive, even though they arguably take more skill). But it
 still seems a shame to ignore the majority of the quaking public. So, I
 provide these two demos. They are of a recent (april 25'th) OGL match
 between AfterDeath and Regulatorz. An extra added hurdle to this match
 going of smoothly was the fact that Regulatorz is west coast (and
 considered by many to be the best WC HPB clan) and a|d is east coast
 (we're pretty unknown, but almost assuredly one of the top 3 HPB clans).
 The first match was on a West Coast server, the second on an East Coast
 one. a|d wins both, but Regulatorz puts up a very good fight, especially
 on the east coast server. Good games all around. Enjoy. [Footnote: These
 matches are 3on3 because of technical issues.]

	Afterdeath vs. Regulatorz - Two demo HPB pack from an OGL match
 played on April 25th 1999. 3 on 3 teams.

 ---> (see http://wwwfights.com/History/daf_don.html) 

	Donald, being the playa' that he is, will probably draw a glock
 and say, "Yow, wam gwonna bwust a cwap in yow ass!" Then, fire all his
 bullet's (not at daffy's ass, at the head and chest.) After that, he will
 jump into his car and run over daffy 52 times for the "Self Defence"
 plea. After that, Daffy simply stands up, adjusts his beak, and proceeds
 to use it to tear donald a new asshole. Even if he doesn't, he can just
 call Bug's, then it is all over anyway. Either way, daffy the victor. (By
 the way, Donald can't call on Disney for reinforcements because he is
 such a playa' he forgot his roots. Shame, all the origina' gangstas
 nevah.. but, you can see all of that in the movie Original Gangstas.)

 - Nybar 

 ---> (see http://wwwfights.com/History/daf_don.html) 

	Ducks just aren't able to do that much damage (I did research at
 the park, taunting them with the old "Stupid duck, no cracker for you"
 line. If they pecked me, it was just too damn funny to hurt.) So, seeing
 as how they are both doing almost no damage, it will drag on for a while.
 But since Daffy is a WB character and can take double barreled shotgun
 blasts to the face and long falls, he will inevitably be the victor.

 Score: 
 Daffy 1 
 Donald 0 
 Naturists -1 
 - Nybar

 ---> (see http://wwwfights.com/History/mibsmork.html) 

	"LADIEESSSSS, ANNDDD, GENTLEMANNN, MiB's HORROR BAZAAR IS PROUD TO
PRESENT: NOT-QUITE-HUMANNN, ODDITITIES! That's right ladies and gentleman!

	That's right ladies and gentleman! You'll see the scrawny alien
with a crappy atari game!

	You'll see partisian lookalikes from beyond the moon! 

	You'll see.. a completely normal person in a stupid suit that
 talks funny. Only 10 cents to see this non amazing thing! This INCREDIBLE
 reduction is due to his powers being a farce, and 10 cents the amount of
 gas money it took to catch him. Damn, went off on a riff, knew I should
 have had J do this, no, stop leaving folks! This really is the definitive
 inter-galactic bazaar! Ah--damn we're broke."

 - Nybar 

 ---> (see http://www.classicgaming.com/mailbag/mail063.shtml) 

 From: Nybar 
 Subject: Your Latest Question ... 

	One game I *really* wish there was a sequel to is "Sword of
 Vermillion" I remember busting it out, and spending 2 hours going
 through the caves. I remember rooting around a cave looking for truffles,
 all for the ring of water. And when I finally defeated whatshisname (long
 time ago)-- whoop. They even had the rock-ass music test at the end. One
 series I wish was stopped long ago was Kings Quest-- so some of 'em were
 good, but come now.

 ---> (see http://ftp.classicgaming.com/mailbag/mail064.shtml)

 From: Nybar
 Subject: Game so godawful you play it anyway- 

	The prize for the ultimate game so crappy it's funny has to go to
 Michael Jackson's Moonwalker for the Sega Genesis. This game is frikking
 hillarious-- me and my friends will sit around while high to this day,
 and when the little girl says "Michael!" we all shout "Monkey!" Hehehe,
 and they take themselves soooooo seriously in the last part, where you're
 chasing Mr. Big through space. Oh, and the Robot is so frikking cheezy,
 hehehehe...

 ---

	This is not a complete list, by any means. Believe it or not, the
incredibly geeky things have been edited out. Is that scary, or what?

[--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    HOE #908 - WRITTEN BY: NYBAR - 11/29/99 ]

