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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                    the rose and the bloodgarden
                    ----------------------------

	i often think of myself as a rose, especially
	when my inner companions sing their sweet hell
	music softly within the white tissues of my
	mind. a rose is pure perfection mottled by
	wicked thorns that jab the tender places. this
	is what i do. this is who i am.

			[ 2 of me. & they weep. ]

	i hurt the ones i love. i have two halves. one
	is loving, passionate, generous. she is known
	by her own name, and those who love her are
	fools. the other side is heartless and cruel.
	she has no name, but she is in control. bloody
	words escape from the cage in her mind, and
	they cut others without mercy.

			[ white & blood dripping. ]

	i know others like me. i smile tenderly at
	them when they describe their inner agony.
	i offer words of comfort, though the advice
	i give is hollow. once i received the same
	advice. ( it will pass, things get better,
	life is too wonderful to pass up. ) i hated
	the givers. theirs were lives of beauty and
	normality. no demons spoke to them of their
	dreams. no images of violence and hatred
	disturbed their thoughts. only sweet solace.
	i wanted to kill them for it.

			[ 2 roads & i took.. ]

	i used to find meaning in the words of the
	great poets. one could say that i am a
	successful young woman carving her place in
	a man's world. those who know me are amazed
	that i am alive. neither understands me.
	it is just as well. insanity cannot be
	understood by the sane. tell me, would you
	dance with the devil if your own choosing?

			[ bloodgarden ]

	i live in a bloodgarden, where i can
	appreciate the beauty of the rose, but i
	cannot keep myself from pricking my skin
	on the thorns. for i find more joy in the
	pain than in the purity. perhaps you are
	reading these words and cannot understand
	them. be grateful if this is so. i would be.

	[ scribbling, bibbling, bibbling, scribbling.. ]

			mozart - amadeus


	Palpable Obscure

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