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               [ Mind Warp  -  Volume #3, Issue #5, File #046 ]
                    [ "Musty's Ego Trip :)"  by Mustaine ]

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                                musty's world
                                 [Mustaine]

        You've read about the Dave continuum, you've read about the Bob
continuum, and for god's sake, if you're reading this, your probably one of
those little Star Trek geeks that knows ALL about the Q continuum.  Yes, that
means YOU.  (YOU, the little bleary eyed, never see the light of day,
700,000 words per minute warez freak!)  SO now, I would like to introduce you
to the Mustaine contiuum.  I am sure by the end of this article you will
agree that the Mustaine continuum is where you will want to spend the rest
of your mortal life.  YES YOU DAMMIT.  And if by some odd chance you do not
want to spend the rest of your life in this contiuum, well....**** you.

     [Editor's Note: "****" is Mustaine's censored version of "fuck."]

        Firstly, in the Mustaine continuum, everyone has a really cool alias.
There are no WildnCrazyGuy's...no Elivs's...and absolutely NO Gardner Swan
spelled backwards (sorta) Red Dragons...  Pretty much everything else goes,
but this Easter Bunny crap HAS to go.  That said, you MUST agree that the
Mustaine continuum is cool.

     * For those of you who were lost on that last paragraph, search through
     * old Mind Warp issues, and ask around 301/202/703 BBS's...

        God is also actually defined in this continuum, and his name is 
Mustaine...and his GENDER....<drum roll> is MALE.  Predominatly sexist,
masculine, egotistical, and downright Mustaineish.  In fact, there is even
a rating system for God.  According the the Goddess of College Park (Dani
Offen), who is going to kick my ass for publishing her name :), Mustaine
rates around 15 (out of a scale of ten) for ego.  For conceit she gives me
an eight...but we'll work on that.  By the way, while I'm actually writing
this article (because you never know, right Raven????) Dani is the sexiest,
coolest, most beautful chick I have ever had the fortune of laying my eyes 
on.  Too bad she no like me.  POO!  Oh well.  I would date her any time.
        Ack!  Digression. (AS usual.)  All the small woodland creatures
in the Mustaine continuum are called 'Musty', and all the fish are flounder.
All the women are either beautiful, tall, slender and sexy redheads (cough-
Dani-cough), or smashingly exquisite brunette's that look like some chick
called Meg Q.  (Can you tell Musty's pressed...eh???)
        Everything in the Mustaine continuum is green, except the people, and
cheese NEVER molds here.  There are no diseases, (so you can screw untill it
falls off!!!), and NO ONE ever gets PMS here.  Stabbing Westward and Dream
Theater play every other song on every radio station...and EVERYONE in this
contiuum can dance, and KISS as good as me.  Not only that, but there are NO
PIMPLES in the Mustaine continuum!  NO ******* clearasil!!!!

  [Editor's Note: "*******" is Mustaine's censored version of "fucking."]

        So you want to live here right?  You want to check this place out
right??????  Well, just in case you do, e-mail me at mustaine@wam.umd.edu, 
and we will talk about the 1 year limited living permit inside the Mustaine
continuum.  It's really cheap for cute, single women...and for men...it runs
about 30 million dollars per month.  Check it.


Greets : Dani, Meg Q. (I luv u), alt.gymkana, Erudite, Raven, Papa Smurf,
         COSMiC CLoWN!, and Mott's Apple Juice.


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                    Call Hell's Kitchen - (301) 989-8510
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