
 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #764
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                  "Something Stupid"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "               by iNSaNe_GuRL
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               7/28/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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 I'm not smart
 and i'm not witty
 i'm not even funny
 sometimes i can be twisted
 but that hurts so i try to avoid it.

 I'm 18
 which is an in between age
 i don't know how to be an adult
 cause i'm not smart.

 i was the youngest child in a family of 6
 til my parents had more children.

 But lets not think about that
 parents can't have children unless they're sprayed with some kind of spores
        that induce childrenism or something like that
 parents don't have sex.  We all know that.

 So anyway back to me.
 No one really cares do they?
 ...if i'm not funny
 i know i'm not
 and i already specified so
 it's not really misleading.

 So i'm 18
 i can be repetitive sometimes.

 i chat on IRC
 so that explains why i can't syntax sentences properly sometimes.
 I'm not clever like people who write for this thingy.

 I'm boring

 yeah... i figure if i tell everyone whats wrong with me
 they'll say hey.. okai at least she's honest.

 i feel dead today
 but i know i'm not coz my fingers are moving.

 I could be a robot. A cyborge i something really big and long and
        complicated.
 But i'm not.

 I do read here's a quote to prove that i read:

 "....Now I'd like you to step forward over here.  They're not that different
         from you, are they?  Same haircuts.  Full of hormones, just like
         you.  Invincible, just like you feel.  The world is their oyster.
         They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of
         you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you.  Did they wait
         until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what
         they were capable?  Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now
         fertilizing daffodils.  But if you listen real close, you can hear
         them whisper their legacy to you.  Go on, lean in.  Listen, you hear
         it? --- Carpe --- hear it? --- Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day
         boys, make your lives extraordinary...."

 That's from Dead Poets Society.  Robin williams said it.  It was movie.
 But i read it on the net

 so i copied and pasted it.

 i thought a carpe was a fish.

 Something's wrong with me today.
 I think i woke up stupid
 either that or i was born that way.
 I can't remember.. being born that is.

 So anyway... this guy told me to write for this.
 i was attracted to him.
 But now i'm not
 cause u know... yeah that.
 He doesn't talk to me.
 I think superiority is attractive.
 he's clever i'm not...
 i like him.
 i'm attracted to a lot of people. Specially smart ones.
 Sometimes i don't understand them
 But that's okay because i'm often misunderstood too
 so we have things in common.

 But yeah.. i stopped being attracted because i don't like being inferior. It
        makes me feel stupid.
 Which isn't nice because i'm not that smart to begin with.

 I put myself down a lot.
 I think it's just my mood.

 I didn't want to write for this.. because i'm not funny
 and i need people to like me
 but a lot of the times the just give me donuts.

 There's this girl at my Uni who just looks at me.
 I think it's because she doesn't understand me. Or she's gay.
 But once i offered her a chip
 and she took one.
 I was happy
 she liked me.
 Maybe she just liked the chip. Or she was hungry

 so then... i forgot what i was saying
 i think i'll start over now

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #764-WRITTEN BY: INSANE_GURL - 7/28/99 ]
