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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                            Frustratingly Stupid
                            --------------------

        Yes, I've already discussed "Mutual Stupidity" but now it's time
for something a little different, in the "Lord Humongous 'Stupidity' Series":
Frustratingly Stupid people.

        Have you ever met someone who was frustratingly stupid?  I have.
Before I go on, let me define my idea of what "stupid" means in the context
of "Frustratingly Stupid".  This might apply elsewhere, but "stupid" can
have other meanings, say in the context of "mutual stupidty" it can mean
something much more different.  To enforce the definition I must also use
my definition of ignorance.

        ignorance(n): lack of knowledge
        stupidity(n): chosen lack of knowledge; ignorance by choice,
                      blind acceptance of ignorance; no wish to end
                      ignorance

There you go.  Now, let's get on with it.  Have you ever met someone that
was so dense, so unexplainably, insanely STUPID that it pissed you off?
I'm not gonna go around masquerading as "The Supreme Genius of the World",
but to keep myself out of a sentence with the word "stupid" in it, I follow
these guidelines:

   o     When I see something, a question for example, and know the answer,
         I try to answer it.
   o     When something is wrong, or at least in my opinion, or is just
         blantantly unfounded, I will correct it if possible.
   o     If I can't answer something, I will shut the fuck up, and
         wait till someone else answers it.  Then, if they are correct,
         alright, NEW knowledge, and I didn't have to make a fool out of
         my self by posting "Well I know that I think lemme see uhh...".

Asking questions is not stupid.  Asking a question is instead, an opposite
of "stupidity".  Instead of not learning something and pretending you know
all about it, you actually go out and say "Can someone grant me some knowledge
in this field, as it would be most appreciated, and could lead to the
giving of knowledge to other people!"

        But you'll always have someone who knows little, or behaves in a
silly manner, and "speaks"[BTW: all references to the word "speak"
and all communication related words in this article are directly based on
Message Posting and BBSing] just for the sake of "speaking".  For example:

Q:       "Can anyone tell me how to take a substring from a string in Pascal?"
A:       "Uhh, Pascal is stupid.  Use asm or C."

        This is generally "fluff".  Although they won't directly say it,
they are trying to point out that they are more qualified, and that their
virtually useless answer, is in fact, a useful answer.  Wrong.

        When I moved back to 303 a year ago or so, I started calling a few
BBS's again, and a few new ones.  One of the new ones was more of a leech
board, as I had just gotten access to a faster computer[it wasn't mine, but
I still had access:)] and was in the "giddy" mode where you wanna try all
that stuff your 386/16 couldn't do.  I'll get to some point, I promise:)

        I generally do a message newscan first thing when I log on to a BBS,
and in it, I saw quite a few messages that I could rebutt against using my
previously mentioned set of rules[the information used was incorrect,
unfounded, and just plain laughable].  This led to a great debate over BBS
softwares[rather trivial, but some things can't be let go!#@], and sadly,
when some people feel they lose a debate, they feel cornered and can often
do stupid things.  We'll refer to the first person as Exhibit A and the
second as Exhibit B....

        Exhibit B is such a clever guy; my handle is "Lord Humongous", of
course, and he addresses all messages to me as "Lord Asshole", "Lord Fag",
etc, etc.  Reading a few of these incorrectly addressed messages, I replied,
quoting his header instead of the message body[which was even worse]:

        "What are you, 12?  Try putting some thought into your posts, and
        I just might respect you more."

        So when I called a couple days later, leaving some time for him to
call and reply, the BBS software war was still waging, I clarified some more
points, shot down an argument, and found this:

[perfect quote]

I'm 16...I wouldn't mind meeting you, and kicking the shit outta you either.
Ask #EXHIBIT A#.  I'm strong.

[end perfect quote]

[Now, I don't really give a fuck about his age.  I'm 16 too.  Let's go on..]

        Well, after belittling him once more, I gave up on him.  The most
hilarious ending to a flame war is "I'll kick your ass".  In fact, it's
such an old-school remark that I'm sure a F.U.C.K. writer has already
pointed it out.

        Personally I have never really pointed out my physical characteristics
to anyone without their asking, but:

        a)I never intend on confronting him
        b)If he confronted me I'd probably put up a fight if he demanded one,
        consisting of a few nerve endings being poked and kicked

        "(b)" will never happen.  I find physical violence but useless, but
make a point to know as much about it as possible to control it.  Let's
continue:

        a)Threatening to fight someone for something you see on a BBS
        is stupid-in both "silly" and in that it implies that you refuse
        to accept something without needing to enforce your opinion through
        force
        b)You don't need much more than knowledge of the anatomy to destroy
        someone, no matter what your physical prowess may be.  Those who
        seek violence are generally those who don't know how to use it, nor
        how to control it, and at the hands of a benevolent but aware person,
        can be crushed with little effort

        I suddenly recall a F.U.C.K. on this, so I will drop the "kick your
ass thing" and close this up:

        Be ready and willing to accept knowledge.  Pretending something
doesn't exist is crazy.  When you choose to be ignorant, you are saying that
what you know is what is.  When you resolve to violence for lack of
intellect, you are no more respectable than two stags goring the fuck
out of each other for a 30 second screw with the local in-heat doe.
                
        When a person is so stupid that it frustrates you, nothing more
can be done.  All that one can do is give up, and hope that they step
in front of a fucking bus and rid the world of their wasteful existence.
I'm sure the fungus and bacteria that breed in their decomposing carcass
will be of more contribution to the world.

                                                -Lord Humongous


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