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                                                          newsletter
 
 issue one - june 25th, 1996.  i love you, crank.
 a DTO production, i swear.
 
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
        
        hi, i'm black francis & this is my 'zine about crank & my love for
 crank.  i will release a new issue whenever i am feeling especially
 depressed that crank is with some white bread chicken shit & not me.  i am
 the only one who can truely love her like she needs to be loved & one day
 she will realize that.

        i love you, crank.
 
 - -- ---+ crank!        
        
        this is a picture i drew of me & crank (who i love).
  
  ___     ___
  | |     | |
  |_|     |_|
 __|__   __|__
   |   +   |   = true love!
   |       |
  / \     / \
 /   \   /   \
 crank    moi

 - -- ---+ crank!        
        
        i wrote this poem about crank, because i love her (a lot!).  i hope
 she likes it because if not i will kill myself.

        *ahem.*

        it's called, "crank".

 "crank crank
 you are not a skank
 you are very pretty like a flower
 & you have nice boobies
 i'd like to touch them someday
 i love you crank"

 - -- ---+ crank!

        crank used to date eightball & this guy called "turbo" & dead cheese
 & aoxomoxoa but she's never dated me & one time she even went after mogel.
 now she's dating murmur.  i don't like murmur because he is an inbred
 corn-huskin' motherfucker & he does not deserve crank's love.  stupid hick.
        
        i love you, crank.
 
 - -- ---+ crank!

        here is an ascii i drew for crank.

    IIIIII   LL     OOOOOO  VV   VV  EEEEEE   YY  YY OOOOOO UU  UU !! !! !!
      II     LL     OO  OO  VV   VV  EE       YY  YY OO  OO UU  UU !! !! !!
      II     LL     OO  OO  VV   VV  EEEE     YYYYYY OO  OO UU  UU !! !! !!
      II     LL     OO  OO   VV VV   EE         YY   OO  OO UU  UU
    IIIIII   LLLLLL OOOOOO    VVV    EEEEEE     YY   OOOOOO UUUUUU !! !! !!

 - -- ---+ crank!

        crank, please marry me or i will be forced to burn your house down.

        i love you.
 
 - -- ---+ crank!

        here's another poem i wrote about crank.  i love her.

        this one's called "crank".

 "alishia
 you don't smell like fisha
 you smell pretty like a flower
 & i love you
 so please love me back
 & i will not kill your family
 i love you
 you are pretty."

 - -- ---+ crank!

        here is my picture of crank that i drew because i love her (A LOT!).

       ###########
       ##   . . |#
       ## .     |#
       ##   *_* |# draw on my boobies!
       ##       |# /
       ##____o__|#
           _||_
           |..|
           |  |
          (|__|)
           |  |

        i love you, crank.  don't worry; no silly restraining order is going
 to keep me from my true love (that's *YOU*)!

 - -- ---+ crank!

       here is another poem i wrote about crank one night when i was thinking
 about her a lot, which could be any given night, 'cause i think about her
 all the time.  that is because i love her.

        this one's called, "crank".

 "crank
 you are pretty & nice
 i think about you when i masturbate
 draw on my dick."

        i love you, crank.

 - -- ---+ crank!

        ok, that's it for the first issue of the "i love crank" newsletter.
 i hope you enjoyed it, crank, because i love you & everything i do is for
 you & nobody else.  i love you.

        any similarities to persons alive or dead is intentional because i
 love crank.

 --- "i love crank" newsletter issue one ------------------------------------
 [EOF]
