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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #619
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888               "A Personal Tribute To
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8          A Man Named Hasslehoff"
    888     888 888      888 888    "
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o        by Paganini [5/9/99]
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        There are many people in this world.  There are drug lords,
 gangsters, dictators, assassins, and Spanish teachers but then you have a
 man who simply goes by the name of David, or Hasslehoff, or David
 Hasslehoff, or "the great and mighty Hasslehoff".  Yes, my friends I speak
 of "the dude" himself.  I am, of course, very willing to admit that I am
 not even remotely a fan of Baywatch.  ((I do like the theme song... it's
 what helps me get through this life.))  I have only seen an average of 7
 episodes in my life.  I don't even know if the show is still in
 continuation.  I simply recall that when I was around 10 Baywatch served as
 an exciting alternative to the news.  (Isn't that sad?)  Of course now a
 days I am too busy eating girl scout cookies and watching old episodes of
 COPS.  (Another exciting, inspirational theme song.)  Despite the fact that
 I am no longer a fan of the all too dramatic Baywatch series I still watch
 old tapes of Knight Rider.

        Do you remember Knight Rider?  Did you not love Knight Rider.  I
 mean, here's this guy driving around talking to his car, solving crime.  He
 is the man.  If there is only one man... the man is David Hasslehoff.  And
 the car's name was Kit!!!  How much more awesome could you get?  He was a
 role model.  He was a role model, and he knew a little bit of karate.
 David Hasslehoff was my role model.  My brother and I used to play Knight
 Rider.  We used to run around the house fighting crime... and then we would
 go outside and talk to the car.  It never talked back, but those were crazy
 times.  Sometimes at night if I am driving on a country road that is
 somewhat empty... I turn my brights on and drive real fast and hum the
 Knight rider song in my head.  (You know which one that is and you are
 probably humming it to yourself right now.  It's okay... you can admit it.)
 Now, I suppose I am not really going places with this.  Perhaps it merely
 sums up the dreams of one girl, one sad, tired girl.  Maybe, just maybe,
 you have a little piece of yourself that admired Hasslehoff.  Perhaps you
 were a Buck Rodgers fan, or a Chuck Norris kind of kid.  You may have been
 a Simon and Simon fan or maybe you were simply a Mr.T groupie.  Whoever
 your idols were... wherever your idols are, be it sex-crazed beach shows,
 Texas Ranger shows, or milk commercials... reclaim them.  Stand up and say
 "Hey, I knew who Mr.  T was and gosh darn it he was great."  (You could
 even throw in a quote: I pity da' fool.)  For, if we do not have our action
 heroes from Situation T.V.... who do we have?

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!   HOE #619 - WRITTEN BY: PAGANINI - 5/9/99 ]
