
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #354 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "The Chair"                              !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Deadpan                            !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/16/98                                 !!
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        I used to have a really horrible chair where I work.  When I
 first started working here, I was told that it was a status thing, and
 that as soon as I had been here a while I could get a better one.  This
 is obviously a plot by the Man (notice, not The Man, which is me, but
 the Man, which is just one aspect of the Illuminati, agents of order
 and oppression.  I mean, it would be pretty silly for me to oppress
 myself.. infact, when I do things of that type, I don't 'oppress' I
 dominate.  I dominate for Grene.  I also digress.) to oppress me, keep
 me down. Keep me uncomfortable.  And Short. It's wrong. I knew that I
 would be working for the Man when I started here, but I did not realize
 how soon I would be forced into discomfort, nor for how long.

        The chair was horrible.  It had a metal frame with orange
 padding glued/nailed on to it in places that I know were specifically
 devised by Redd to confuse the sitter.  You never knew where you were
 supposed to be.  The padding was this stiff vinyl stuff that made sure
 that you could not stay in any given spot, just slide around alot,
 gouging your ass on the rips in the cushions.  The rips in the cushions.
 Oh Goddess.  The Rips.  Horrible gashes in the vinyl like covering, that
 can tear through denim like it's warm butter.  With a strange mesh of
 cotton glued to the inside of the vinyl, to drag across your wounds,
 doubtlessly infecting them with all sorts of hell-chair afflictions.  I
 have nightmares about those gashes to this day. And despite the fact
 that the hell cushions were glued AND nailed on the chair, it still
 managed to slide around, it almost seemed like it tried to avoid the
 boniest parts of my posterior, pushing them onto the ever comfortable
 metal frame... grr.  I hated that chair. grr.  I'm too overcome with the
 pain of this memory.

        At any rate, I endured.  Getting paid silly amounts of money will
 encourage behavior like that.  I now have a nice, comfy chair that has
 rollers and leans back, and even has a comfy tweed like seat cushion.
 Life in the seat is good.

        My initials spell SAT.

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!    #354 - WRITTEN BY: DEADPAN - 12/16/98 !!
