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 $$$        [ HOE E-Zine #992 -- 12/25/99 -- http://www.hoe.nu ]     .,$$$
 `"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'

	Most people probably think that the generation of the 90s is the
 most insane yet, but I beg to differ.  Sure, there are lots of nutjobs
 out there these days, but many people fail to look back in time, if
 they're looking for answers as to why people are so crazy today.

	Stalking, for example, has become a prominent issue in our day.  
 The stalker will do anything to get the attention of his or her prey, to
 such extremes as cutting off a piece of their body (i.e. an ear lobe or
 finger), and sending it to the person they obsess over, believing they'll
 take it as flattery.  In most cases, the person who receives the
 dismembered part isn't all that flattered.  In fact, they're usually
 traumatized for a good number of weeks, if not months.

	Take, for example, the female bubble gum singers of the 1960s.  
 On the surface they seem playful and harmless, but beneath this shiny
 veneer lies a dark, horrifying truth.  A good number of these women were
 most likely totally obsessed over whoever they were writing about.  Take
 these lyrics for example, from the song "I Will Follow Him", by Little
 Peggy March:

 "I will follow him, 
 follow him wherever he may go 
 There isn't an ocean too
 deep A mountain so high it can keep me away

 I must follow him, ever since he touched my hand I knew
 That near him I always must be
 And nothing can keep him from me
 He is my destiny"

	So you picture this girl who's up late at night writing in her
 diary about the dreamy guy she's just met.  But check this out:

 "I love him, I love him, I love him
 And where he goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow
 He'll always be my true love, my true love, my true love
 >From now until forever, forever, forever"

	That's the part of the song where she's just about shrieking her
 love for "him", where all these crazy violins are playing, much like the
 famous track in the 1960s thriller "Psycho".  This is most likely when
 had slipped into a demented love trance and just began scrawling
 aimlessly all over the page.  Plus the song makes her seem like a bionic
 automaton with this one guy as its target, like the Terminator, walking
 slowly but steadily over mountains and through oceans (like Skinner in
 that episode where Bart skips school), just to be near this guy.

	So, if you're ever caught in the situation where a girl or guy is
 sending you notes or singing messages on your answering machine that
 sound like, "There isn't an ocean too deep/A mountain so high it can
 keep, keep me away/Away from my love", a restraining order will hopefully
 do the trick.

	Next on the list is "Which Way You Goin', Billy?", by the Poppy
 Family.  This is a good example of the persistent, yet not-so-dangerous
 stalker.  Even though this song was released in 1970, it still has the
 60s Stalker feel to it.

 "Which way you goin' Billy?
 Can I go too?
 Which way you goin' Billy?
 Can I go with you?

 I really love you, Billy
 And all this time
 I thought you loved me, Billy
 And you were mine

 I'm gonna miss you, Billy
 And though I'm trying
 I'm hurting so bad, Billy
 I can't help crying

	Whoever it was who wrote these lyrics seems pretty heartbroken,
 yes, but she could hold back on saying "Billy" every second line.  I
 think "Billy" got the point the first time he was asked which way he's
 goin'.  A crisp, clean smack across the face will usually save you from
 this kind of situation.

	Next is quite the dangerous stalker.  "One Fine Day", performed by
 the Chiffons and written by Carole King, shows that these chicks will go
 to the extreme to get their men.

 "One fine day, you'll look at me
 And you will know our love was, meant to be
 One fine day, you're gonna want me for your girl

 The arms I long for, will open wide
 And you'll be proud to have me, right by your side
 One fine day, you're gonna want me for your girl

 Though I know you're the kind of boy
 Who only wants to run around
 I'll keep waiting, and, someday darling
 You'll come to me when you want to settle down,
 Oh!

 One fine day, we'll meet once more
 And then you'll want the love you threw away before
 One fine day, you're gonna want me for your girl"

	Chicks like this don't get the picture the first time they're
 dumped, and resort to taking desperate measures, like brainwashing the
 poor lad into loving her and such.  This is the type of girl who leaves
 messages on his answering machine by the hundreds, sends him gifts, sends
 him Valentines all year round, and eventually bumps into him on the
 street with his new girlfriend and beats them both to death with her
 handbag.

	Where are these singers today?  Dead, in jail for violating
 restraining orders, or living happily with her stalkee in the
 dungeon-like basement of her parents' house with the guy chained up to
 the wall, being fed baked beans and water once a day.  Don't be fooled,
 though, these weren't the only singers who were of the persistent kind.  
 They were everywhere back then, and has resulted in probably a good
 portion of the insanity we see today.

	It's no wonder Neil Sedaka found that breaking up is hard to do.

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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!           HOE #992, BY ANONGIRL - 12/25/99 ]
