------------[ w0ol #11: how nettle hax0red the FBI ]------------------------

ever since i hax0red the fbi i haven't had much time to run around and 
write for w0ol, cause i've been runnin' frum da law, y0. so i've had some 
trouble gettin' to mah computah! now im gonna tell you how i managed to 
hax0r the fbi with such ease and style, fewl.

-------------------[ eleet! ]-----------------------------------------------

yes. i was elite. hax0ring the fbi isn't easy if you're LAME. duh. so 
here is my elite nfo on how to hax0r the fbi.

--------[ fbihax0r.nfo ]----------------------------------------------------
 ,----.
 : by : nettle
 : to : public
 : re : hax0ring the fbi
 : y? : for fun!
 `----'

first: i take no responsibilty if someoen actually hax0rs the fbi, agian, 
like i did, for some weird reason such as i told them how. 

one: on with the wacky-elite! ok, first you're going to need a tv, if you 
don't have one then STEAL ONE, duh, now wait till friday, at friday turn 
the tv on and watch chan 5 until the X-Files comes on, while the intro is 
running wit the rad music you'll see two fbi-pass-things! if you aren't 
k-rad enought to catch them and draw one then here is a subst. 

  ,--------------------------.
  :      fbi pass thing      :
  :--------------------------:
  : your name     your age   :
  : your bday     your addrs :
  : your phone    logo       :
  `--------------------------'

simply print this issue and fill in the infoes, oh, and the FBI PASS 
THING should be BLUE at the top, and replace everything with the correct 
stuff, and for the logo put in this:

      $$$$$$ $$$$$$. $$$$$$$  
      $$$    $$$ $$$   $$$ 
      $$$$$  $$$$$$'   $$$
      $$$    $$$ $$$   $$$
      $$$    $$$$$$' $$$$$$$

execpt write 'elite' for every line, that way when someone looks at it 
they are subconciously mezmerised by elitness, and they let you in.

tew: go to the s3cr3t fbi headquarters, show them your pass, now you have 
3lyt3 access, what i did was go around pissing in people's coffee, i'm 
sure you can think of something fun to do at the fbi buttquarters!

--------------------------[ spd. lmt. wrz. ]---------------------------------

wow! we're groovin' now! ok, hmmmm, so uhm, wow, i'm so bored.. let me think.
well
one day i was groovin' (see previous sentence!) and i kinda just grooved 
my way over to the snacks, and munched a few down, and then i grooved my 
way back to my lifelong companion fil.  fil gets pissed when people call 
him phil so i avoided it.  divergent.

------------[ wha? ]--------------------------------------------------------

sell your shoes.
"what?"
i mean it.
"uhm."
sell them.
"why?"
because. you don't understand.
"uhhh"
S-E-L-L. Y-O-U-R. S-H-O-E-S.
"ok!"
now thats much better!

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[- inverse -]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

dummerkawn 31337: diz stuff!#

ok, as you all know mogel postponed dummercon one day, and after he was 
sure that nobody who was supposed to come from 908 would hUMANLy be 
able to make it he reinstated it, therefore causing a PROBLEM, namely 
many of us MISSED THE FUCKING THING!# i was unaffected because i couldn't 
go anyway, cause my mom sucks, but i decided to do you all a favor and 
have dummerkawn 31337 at my house! err.. in my town!# whichever my mom 
lets me!#

---------------------------------------------- [ 31337 ] ---------------------
  $$$$$. $$ $$ $$     $$ $$     $$ $$$$$ $$$$. $$ $$ ,$$$. $$       $$ $$   $$
ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$$sss$$$s$$$sss$$$s$$ssss$$s$$s$$ $$s$$ $$s$$sssssss$$s$$$ss$$
ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$s$s$s$$s$$s$s$s$$s$$ggss$$$$'s$$g$'s$$$$$s$$sssssss$$s$$s$s$$
ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$ss$ss$$s$$ss$ss$$s$$""ss$$s$$s$$"$.s$$s$$ss$$ss$ss$$ss$$ss$$$
ss$$ss$$s$$s$$s$$sssss$$s$$sssss$$s$$ssss$$s$$s$$s$$s$$s$$ss$$s$s$s$$ss$$sss$$
  $$$$$' `$$$' $$     $$ $$     $$ $$$$$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$ $$   $$$ $$$   $$   $$ 
------------------ [ 31337 ] -------------------------------------------------

somewhere in that mess it says "DUMMERKAWN 31337" so just let it be known 
that dummerkawn SURPASSES dummercon in eliteness. phear. so check this 
nfo out.

 dummerkawn will either be in nettle's house (116 pleasntview ave. new 
providence, nj, 07974) or in nettle's town (new providence, near summit.) 
so you'd better be there! more 'leet info will filter down into your 
scummy hands as it becomes avaliable to y0! hmm, some elite things 
expected to happen: 

#zines people to show up
aim people YOU DON'T KNOW but i do to show up
funeral procession, for NOBODY!
looking at my computer.
walking around my town.
paying for your own food.
the slaughter of certain indivituals upon arrival!
fun!
games!
it will ROCK!#
so bring your angst!
bring your warez!#
OOH! OOH!
if it takes place in my house we will have the SUPER elite plug in 
special, bring your desktop or laptop! we have plenty of lightsockets! 
and stuff!# we can net dewm tew!@# modem!# just bring lots of cables and 
lan cards for us to hax0r!# bring your music!# bring your elite shirts 
ect!# just remember : YOU MUST GO : 

-----------------; phear ;---------------------------------------------------

teehee!#  hmmm, so now that you know that elite stuff i guess you should 
decide to go.
wow, hmm, i know something is missing here.. oh yeah!# 
ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSKEEEEEEEEEEEEY!
woo woo!3


---------------[ yuck f4c3s ]------------------------------------------------


@&!#         well son, it takes tons of pratice  5#%.
| oO               and attendance to dummerkawn  OO %
|  >                                           \ <  |
|  o - ascii man! how do you become so elite?    O  |
\--/                                             \--/


@&!#     i just put on my super  5#%.
| Oo      goggles and mouthmask  00 %
|  >                           \ <  |
|  o - wow, i love you man!      =  |
\--/                             \--/

@&!# 
| oo
|  >  kewlie! show me some more triqs!
|  O /
\--/

              sure thing! after all, you won   /***\
             the MEET ASCII MAN contest fair   [p] |
                                  and squar.   <   |
                                            \  [  %|
                                             / `===/
                      this is my sheild face.                 
                      it has laz3r eyes and a
                      protector for my mouth/
                      face. it is super-cool!


                                           5#%.  
                                           pd %
                                        ,  K  |
                                         `--  |
                                           \--/
                        "now im smoking pot!"
                        "woah."
                        "heheheheh."
                                           5#%.
                                      ,'   pd %
                                       '`  K  |
                                        ,`--  |
                                           \--/
                        "uh, you can stop now."
                        "hah!"
 
        `o',  
@&!#    // 5#%.
| oO  //   OO %
|  > /     <  |
|  /       O  |
\--/       \--/

* SMACK *


       
@&!#          5#%.
| oO         OO %
|  > \       <  |
|  /  \\    O  |
\--/    \\ \--/
        ,/,\


* SMACK *

@&!#     ,&%.
| oO     O0-|
|  >     <  |
|  \     O  |
\--/     \--/
 
"holy shit man!# you're phorce!#"
"uhh AHH!#!@ NOOO!#!@"
"you are!# YAY!#@ WE LOVE YOU!#"
"bastard."

------------------------[ wow, phorce = ascii man! ]-------------------------

so uhm, i guess EVERYTHING is solved, nothing left to do but the enevidable..

------------------[ n03 ]----------------------------------------------------


i get contacts soon.
wow.    _,_
      .'   '.
      `,_ _,'
         '
not to say that looked like a contact
        _,_
      .'g. '.
      `,%'_,'
         '
pewp.

hmm.
dumdeedoo

            .----.
            )))(((
            |    |
            |    |
           /'    `\
          | Beck's |
          |  from  |
          | across |
          |   the  |
          |  seas  |
          `--------'

MINIMUM WAGE!#! HIIIIIIIIYA!#!

$$$$$$. $$$$. $$$$$$$ $$$ $$$
$$$ $$$   $$$   $$$   $$$ $$$
$$$ $$$ $$$$'   $$$   $$$$$$$
$$$ $$$   $$$   $$$   $$$ $$$
$$$$$$' $$$$'   $$$   $$$ $$$ . iRc  

[init d3thc0d3]
###.
$$$$]
###'


woah

hotdog.
 ,######.
[$$$$$$$$]
 `######'

n'stuff

so uhm

this is available only on closed caption units.

-----------[ end ]-----------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------+ eDiToR CoMmEnT +----------------------------------
ok, another one!
---------------------------------+ InDeX +------------------------------------

 this is so you can find them:

        #1: w0ol comes from sheep! (nettle)
        #2: the electric santa (nettle)
        #3: gourmet food, gourmet boredom (nettle)
        #4: toast some pixie stix in the hour that doesnt exist (nettle)
        #5: no comprende? (nettle)
        #6: the annual collage issue (nettle)
        #7: w0ol, a joke in every issue!@ (nettle)
        #8: we force you into unbearable positions (nettle)
        #9: a in-depth look at why my life sucks (nettle)
        #10: big smelly dogs are my heroes and stuff (phorce)
        #11: how nettle hax0red the FBI (nettle)
wow

-------------------------------+ people of w0ol +------------------------------

nettle
(what?)

phorce
(too 'leet for speech!)

ascii man
(SECRETLY PHORCE!#)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_ email addresses _~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                          
nettle:

nettle@novasys.com
nettle@nevermind.lag.novasys.com
nettle@nexxus.novasys.com

thats it..

-----------------------+ useless archives +----------------------------------

ftp:

nevermind.lag.novasys.com : /pub/w0ol
landslide.openix.com : /ftp/phorce/w0ol

morse code:

the top of springfield avenu, ill have a flashing light there encoding
w0ol 24/7.

if you would like to contact w0ol send email to
w0ol@nevermind.lag.novasys.com, if you want to have a letter displaayed
in one of our issues as a question/comment type thing, email
w0ol-2@nevermind.lag.novasys.com, if you would like me to murder your
parents email parent@nevermind.lag.novasys.com, thank you.

phone: if you'd like to CALL me, i am (908)665.1067, have fun.
