
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #458 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Drunken Nice Guy Misogyny"              !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Rantaslin & Teerts                 !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/21/99                                  !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        So, we went through just about half a case of Yuengling Black and
 Tan before this was done.  keep in mind, we're light-weights who cannot
 really hold our allkeyholl... also, your drunken demeanor will invariably
 change depending on those around you at the time.

        Blah, and so I sit nice and toasty here nice and semi-toasty and
 dehydrated, writing my second hoe article.  And trying to think exactly
 what I, should be writing about, since I'm sitting here in Teerts'
 bedroom with a case of b&t at my feet, and Teerts sitting to my left
 watching Dune, which I might add, drunk or sober, kicks some mighty good
 ass.  That aside, I'm going to try and explain why Teerts and I decided
 to get drunk off our asses, watch movies, and pretty much say 'Fuck you
 all, we're leaving.'  It stems from the fact that both of us have been
 pretty much fed up with people in general of late, especially the female
 section of the species.  Why?  Well, suffice it to say, Teerts and I
 exemplify the 'nice guys...last...' theme.

        Now don't misunderstand, both of use are very modest.  Everyday
 we are told 'Oh, you're such a great guy.' or 'I don't know what I'd do
 without you.' -- granted these are seemingly all seemingly very fucked
 up reasons.  I'm also very sure that the majority of our female audience
 is somewhat pissed at me right now, but fuck that -- this has been my
 experience, so while I go get some water so I don't keel over, I'll turn
 this over to Teerts.

        hee hee, a co-authored t-file... yeah, i'm sobering up right now
 and that sucks, but mr. yuengling would be mad if I were to get too drunk
 as to not finish the whole case without passing out or falling asleep.
 anyway, yeah, this sucks, neh?  the whole 'yeah, but...' or 'if it were
 not for... then we would...' blah, blah, yeah... so it seems to me, in
 this drunken stupor, that those of 'the fairer sex,' (as they're often
 referred to) don't seem to mean what they say they mean as much as they
 should, or rather, their state of meaning what they think they mean is in
 constant flux.  (know what i mean?  hope you got all that.)

        whereas in comparison, 'the brothas' (here being guys) seem to
 more often than not, when not just out for some action, actually mean
 what they say in a constant manner.  might i add, the princess in dune,
 played by virginia madsen, i think, is a real hottie.  yeah, anyway 
 fuck me, i'm drunk so i'm gonna use it as an excuse for what I say.

        rant and i are pretty much just disgruntled because being a nice
 guy is such a pain in the ass.  well, not really, just really trying on
 patience and belief.  it must rain on arrakis!@#.  okay, must get more
 beer, here is rantaslin again.

        As Teerts guzzles down more B&T, and tries not to think of
 anything and I sober up/rehydrate, we'll try and have some fun, so far
 we've determined that:

	1. Chicks are fucked up.

	2. There's no real reason for it.

	3. We're drunk, or getting there.

        Now on with the show.  Movie's over now, and might I add they
 really butchered the book.  So now that we know chicks are fucked up and
 there's no reason for it, the question comes up: 'why do we even bother?'
 the answer is simple.  Cause we both figure that while now... why are we
 watching Barbarella????... that in the long run... apparently because
 she gets naked... it will pay off in some way.  As such we see that we
 have two choices, being the ages that we are, that:

	1. We can become pricks and get chicks now.

	2. We can become queer, get chicks to like us, but never get
           chicks.

	3. We can wait it out and see what happens.

        Can't speak for Teerts, but #3 is for me.  So, now that we
 determined that I will wait it out, remaining a nice guy, and getting
 fucked over (not literally) until I'm at least twenty-nine, my contacts
 are drying out.  And it goes back to Teerts to wrap it up.

        maaan, i'm not drunk [enough?].  i say this because i have a doubt
 concerning rant's statement about there being no reason for girls'
 fuckedupedness (no, i don't think that's a real word).  what possible
 reasons could there be for this?  all that i can think of at this
 hazy time is either biological or social in foundation.  btw, barbarella
 is one f'd up movie... perpetual motion, gratuitous nudity, angry deadly
 dolls, shag-carpeting, etc... god, i love 60s movies... hrrmph, i should
 have gotten logan's run.

        so, assuming 'the problem' is biologically based ('hormones' as we
 'guys' so often say), it must adversely affect a part of the brain
 where feelings and memory are connected.  by the way, rant needs some
 tail.  the hormone's effect upon the brain causing memory loss is what
 causes the problem in (sex therapy makes you fly, remember this)
 communication between the sexes.

        see, i'm not saying that the feelings conveyed by girls aren't
 meant, but that the stability of the feeling, in general, isnt that
 sound;  the feeling will likely change and or just not be there
 eventually... 'a good many dramatic situations begin with screaming' or
 so the wisdom of barbarella teaches us.  the social base of this may lie
 in the semi-traditional female role in society.  there is the subtle
 aspect of this role which does involve influence over males.  this is
 seen anywhere one looks in today's western society.  'essence of man?!'
 i'll say no more of that because, well, because i'm enough of a fool
 already.  plus, i'm drunk, so i don't really know wtf i'm talking about.

        Thus ends our drunken tale, and begins our drunken stupor, both of
 us are nearing that time were looking at any form of light hurts, so we
 bid you adieu, till next time kiddies...

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #458 WRITTEN BY RANTASLIN & TEERTS, 1/21/99 !!
