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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #683
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888           "Russian Women Through The Ages"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                  by Jook
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               6/14/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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	"entire contents copyright 1999, Imagine media, Inc. All rights
 reserved. reproduction in whole or part is prohibited. a, a1, a2, a3, a4,
 b . . ."
                                                   - "mac addict," issue 34. 
								
[-----]

        "your parents did it, shomie.  how cool can it be?"
	
        "stop reading that damn time magazine and quoting random stuff out
 of it that applies to my life," shomie said as he inspected a single hair on
 the top of his head that just would not stay down.  "you know it pisses the
 fuck out of me when you have to do that and start buggin' me."
	 
	"but shomie, this is where you come in!"
	
	shomie placed his hairbrush on the nightstand next to his bed and
 walked towards the other end where jobe was playing a random game on his
 psx.  "jobe, there's only one of you and you're not doing any coming.  now
 please move so i can sit next to you on the bed."  jobe froze. "damnit.  why
 are you just staring at the television?"
	
	"dddddffd."
	
        "you broke it, didn't you?  you broke my damn psx didn't you? what
 the hell, jobe?  you broke my computer last week, now you broke this?  what
 are you trying to do?"  shomie's voice began to raise the more he thought
 about the situation.  his eyes looked through jobe like a fucking man who
 had just lost his best friend.  "you broke my playstation you fucker."  he
 raised his fist, but not towards jobe.  he raised his fist to his own face
 and started punching himself in the eye.  "damnit."  a punch to the left.
 "stupid piece . . ."  a shot to the right.  "i'm going to kill you."  a shot
 to the gut.  "how am i supposed to become more and more lazy and more and
 more appathetic if both my computer and psx is broke?  what am i supposed to
 do, comb my hair all day?"
	
	jobe, not really sure what to say after he just saw his friend
 beating the crap out of himself, "well, you didn't get that hair down.  i
 mean, you did for a sec, but after you started beating yourself, it popped
 right up again.  it was just like that - pop - and there it was again,
 sticking up there."
	
	"great jobe, i'll just do that."
	
	"hey, when it comes right down to it, isn't every catastrophe an
 opportunity?"
	
        "this is an opportunity to kill you, you son of a bitch.  tell me how
 you broke the playstation and maybe i'll let you go.  was it the russian
 woman?  kubasova?"
	
        "oh, god.  how'd did you know about her?  i thought we had the door
 locked . . ."
	
        "your mom told me about her.  i mean, you can't just bring a russian
 woman into the country like that.  there are strings attached."
	
        "and then you saw us . . ."
	
        "no, but i could hear you.  i just wasn't expecting it to be taking
 place on top of my f''n playstation. didn't that hurt?"
	
        "no, i kind of liked having the controller there.  it was my own way
 of pleasing myself while i pleased her.  plus russian women have simply
 gotten with it.  they like that sort of stuff."
	
	"you're kidding me right."
	
        "yes, of course i am.  she was one powerful woman, though.  if only
 russia were run by its women.  today, the county's males - from president
 boris yeltsin and first deputy prime minister anatoly chubais on down - are
 in crisis."
	
	"i know what you mean, jobe. russia's just going to explode with a
 feminist revolution one of these days.  i was just thinking about that when
 i was combing my hair."
	
	the two sat down again on the bed, both contemplating the current
 crisis in russia.  how sad, they thought, that a woman like kubasova
 couldn't have more.  jobe leaned back onto shomie's bed with shomie as the
 two cuddled with each other and dealt with the feminist situation in russia
 together, the only way they knew how.
	
	"hey jobe, where's that controller?"
	
	"underneath the bed, i think."

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!      HOE #683 - WRITTEN BY: JOOK - 6/14/99 ]
