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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo      HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #513!
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8 
    888     888 888      888 888              "LOL ROFLMAO LOL GOTCHA"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "               by AnonGirl
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o              3/16/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        Even though it's pretty difficult to take IRC seriously most of the
 time, as well as 'netiquette', it should be noted that there are some
 things one just shouldn't do on IRC.

        (For the more fortunate, IRC = Internet Relay Chat.)

        It's much easier to tell someone to fuck off by typing it onto a
 screen, instead of saying it to their face, for most people.  Sure,
 whatever, that's not what I'm writing about.  I'm writing about the little
 indecencies that occur online between people who know each other well,
 some in real life, some online.  

        There's a lot of easy ways to aggravate someone while chatting in
 private message.  A common method deals with a user being marked as Away.
 For example:

 [15:57] <AnonGirl> i'll be back
 [15:57] <Person> k!
 [15:57] * AnonGirl is Away  
 [15:57] *** AnonGirl is now known as AnonAway
 [15:59] <Person> back?
 [15:59] <Person> back?
 [16:01] <Person> back?
 [16:02] <Person> back?
 [16:04] <Person> back?
 [16:05] <Person> back?
 [16:07] <Person> back?
 [16:07] <Person> back?
 [16:07] <Person> back?
 [16:09] <Person> back?
 [16:11] <Person> back?
 [16:12] <Person> back?
 [16:15] <Person> back?
 [16:16] <Person> back?
 [16:17] *** AnonAway is now known as AnonGirl
 [16:17] <AnonGirl> I am back.  do you know why?
 [16:17] <Person> wb! why?
 [16:18] <AnonGirl> Because for some strange reason, my computer kept 
                    beeping like a motherfucker.
 [16:18] LOL ROFL sorry!!!!!!!!!

        If you don't understand what's wrong with that log, stop
 reading now.

        I know enough people online, and some of them like to share their
 innermost feelings with me.  I'm perfectly alright with this, but
 sometimes, things can get pretty deep, and there is really no way to
 respond to such things:

 <SomeOne> Hey!  what's new?
 <AnonGirl> Not too much, you?
 <SomeOne> Oh, this and that  my grandmother died today
 <AnonGirl> Oh god!  I'm so sorry!
 <SomeOne> its okay.  i loved her so much.  im really going to miss her.
           i dont know if i can go on without her.
 <AnonGirl> Sure you can!  Times like this you have to be strong..
 <SomeOne> Oh strong schmong!  a person is DEAD and that's all you can
           say???
 <AnonGirl> uhm.. i'm really sorry
 <SomeOne> whatever
 <AnonGirl> I am!  sincerely!
 <SomeOne> Fuck off
 *** SomeOne has left IRC

        See, there really is no way to express your deepest sympathies
 through IRC.  So, people shouldn't tell you someone died on IRC.  It's
 not the place!  It never will be!  

        The following is another example of something that should not be
 done on IRC.

 <Lifesux1> so anywayz yah im going to kill myself right now
 <AnonGirl> what?
 <Lifesux1> im going to drink some poison
 <Lifesux1> right now
 <AnonGirl> hahah where the hell did you get poison??
 <Lifesux1> im serious im drinking it right now
 <AnonGirl> you'd better be kidding!
 * Lifesux1 takes another sip of her poisonous grape punch
 <AnonGirl> What the hell are you drinking poison for??
 <Lifesux1> becuz lif0rz sux0rz
 <AnonGirl> Still!!  have some pride!!  don't kill yourself on irc!
 <Lifesux1> their going to name you as an accomplice for saying that
 <AnonGirl> Please!! tell me you're joking!! and it's they're, not their.
 <Lifesux1> im dead serious!  no pun intended
 <AnonGirl> You're on crack
 <Lifesux1> *gulp*
 <AnonGirl> C'mon seriously, I'm begging you.. stop joking around.
 <AnonGirl> please?
 <AnonGirl> hello?
 <AnonGirl> answer!!
 <AnonGirl> please don't be dead please please please don't be dead
 <AnonGirl> oh god!!
 <Lifesux1> PSYCH!!!!!  GOTCHA!!!!  LOL ROFLMAO HAHAHAH

        Joking about suicide isn't funny, in any form.  So don't!

        Continuing with practical jokes, here is another exerpt concerning
 death.

 <SomeBody> Audrey I've got some bad news
 <AnonGirl> Oh no.. what is it?
 <SomeBody> My sister was driving her boyfriend to work today and well, it 
            was all shitty and raining and stuff, and they got into an
            accident on the highway.
 <AnonGirl> Oh my GOD!!  Are they okay?
 <SomeBody> I dunno.. Mary's in critical condition and John is in a coma. 
            I really don't know if they'll make it :( :( :( :~(
 <AnonGirl> Oh man, this is so terrible!  Shit, I hope they're okay.
            Just remember to be strong.  And never lose hope.  Honestly,
            my cousin was in an accident recently caused by a drunk driver,
            she's still in a coma but I know that she'll be okay.  Just
            don't lose hope, k?
 <SomeBody> I'm trying real hard, but y'know, seeing her there all mashed
            up and stuff, it's really shaken me.  I don't know if I can
            handle it! :(
 <AnonGirl> You can!  and you will!  She'll be okay.  And if not, then 
            I'll be there for you every second of the way.
 <SomeBody> ROFL LOL ROFLOLOLOLOL
 <AnonGirl> What's so funny?
 <SomeBody> GOTCHA!!! LOLOL 'Just don't lose hope, k?' LOL HAHA LOSERRRR

        Naturally, I was relieved, but really pissed off at the same time.
 Sure, I can take a joke, but when it's about death, I find it hard to
 laugh after the joke is up.  Maybe it's just me.

        This is tiring.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!  HOE #513 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/16/99 ]
