
 [--------------------------------------------------------------------------]
   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #802
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888                   "Wiggle Worms"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                by Nettle
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               9/1/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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	it was thursday when i bought the wiggle worms, they came in a
 bright neon can which easily attracted my consumer type attention at the 
 local store, but these were no ordinary worms, they were quite the 
 wigglers, and they spoke.

 	after forking over the $5.53 for the little wigglies and getting 
 my recipt & 47 cents change i rushed to the nearest can opener, which 
 happened to be in my house, after i got to it i hurredly opened its 
 tin-piercing jaws and clamped them down on the timid metal of the wiggle 
 worms can, i began to turn the crank of the can opener and i heard the 
 metal seperators at work, divorcing the can from its top, and then i saw 
 them, the wiggle worms.
 
 	i just didn't know what to do, they started to move and jiggle 
 around, one fell out of the top of the can, i picked it up, cold, soft, i 
 placed it back into the can hoping it would help somehow, i ran to the 
 cupboard and took a large bowl, i poured them into it and watched as 
 they started to move around and change colors, so pretty, happy, 
 flourescent colors.

 	i went over to the computer to tell everyone about my worms and 
 dcc them pictures of them, and as i started up my bitchx irc client i 
 noticed the colors of the logo seemed, dark, faded, unreal.  as if they 
 weren't as neat anymore, almost like they weren't worth my time.  i 
 decided to tell people about the worms later, and i went up into my room 
 with a straw and started picking up the colorchanging creatures and 
 dropping them onto eachother, it was a funny sight, a little worm mosh 
 pit if you will.  i chuckled and thought to myself 'i should put on some 
 jammin' metal music for them to mosh to' and suddenly i heard the powerful 
 chords of a slammin' heavy-metal song vibrate my room, the worms started 
 groovin' to the music and i laughed to myself.  after sitting and 
 watching them for what seemed like a short time i looked at the clock 
 and saw it was 9:52pm, i ran down stairs concerned about my mothers 
 whereabouts, i saw her in the kitchen, cutting up some carrots madly.  
 she looked up at me and screamed, "OK, NOW YOU DECIDE TO COME DOWN, WHEN 
 YOU NEED FOOD.".
  
 		"what? where were you all day?!", i replied.  

 		"oh shut up!  i was yelling to you for a LEAST 20 minutes, 
 	but all you did was look at thoes stupid worms, you didn't even LOOK 
	at me, what the hell we're you doing?!" she snapped.

		"nothing, i didn't even hear you!  ... are you sure you were 
	there?"

		"      ", silence.
		
		"look, i'm sorry, i must have been too engrossed with the 
	worms to hear you, sorry."

		"ok, eat your dinner, its mince and carrots."

	as i ate the carrots looked more and more like the worms, only 
 they didn't shift colors, and they didn't talk.  i yearned to escape 
 back to my room, to be with the worms again.

 	after i finished i told my mom i would do my homework in my room, 
 "ok", she replied.

  	i stepped into my room and closed the door, click went the lock 
 behind me as i took the lid off the worm dish and watched them, this time 
 the spoke.
 
 		"hello, we are wiggle worms."

		"wow!  you do speak!  i thought it was just dumb advertising!"

		"no my friend, nothing about us is advertising."

	then they fell speechless, but still they squirmed around and 
 changed colors into the night, i watched them, grinning madly at their 
 every move.

	i looked at the clock.  4:47.  "FUCK!", i screamed as i quickly 
 covered the worm dish and jumped into bed, i couldn't believe i'd stayed 
 up for 11 something hours looking at the worms, but i knew deep inside 
 that i'd looked at my ceiling before for longer.

	at 6:00 i awoke and ran to the shower, after quickly washing i 
 went and packed for school, after that i walked to school, as i walked i 
 looked around at the trees, birds, concrete, everything around me, i 
 noticed that the leaves on the trees weren't as green as they'd always 
 been, the birds didn't seem to want to chirp as much anymore, and the 
 concrete, well, it remained as dumb as ever.

	when i got to school i met up with scott in my homeroom, we 
 talked and i told him about the worms, he seemed to want to talk about 
 other things, stupid stuff like parents and school, but i kept us on the 
 subject of the worms pretty well.

 	at third period i had to go to the bathroom, so i got a pass 
 from the teacher and went into the bathroom, after finishing up i tore 
 off some toilet paper to wipe my ass with, as i tore it the raggy edges 
 seemed to start wiggling, and began to take almost wormlike shapes, they 
 jiggled around on the end of the depsenser.

	after wiping up i walked out into the halls and to my third 
 period class.  the door was locked so i looked into the window, nobody 
 was inside, so, thinking the period must have finished, i walked to 
 fourth period, as i turned around i noticed it was dark outside. 

 	i ran out and into the streets, i sprinted home and opened the 
 door.  i was greeted by screams and questions and hellfire from my mother.
 she screamed, "WHERE WERE YOU!?#"
 
 		"in the bathroom.", i said. 

	after a lot of explaining and bullshitting about getting caught 
 to the toilet by my chain wallet i went up to bed and watched the worms 
 until i passed out from exhaustion.

 	at 6:53 i awoke to banging at my door and screams by my mom, i 
 skipped my shower and got a ride to school.  the whole day was a blur.  
 i didn't listen to my teachers.  i didn't need to, all i needed was to 
 watch the worms, after 2:35 i was free to do it again, as my day ended i 
 watched them in my mind.  until i was jolted by the bell that signaled 
 my freedom.

 	i watched the worms shake and grind, i watched them dance and groove
 i watched them jump and swing, i watched the more than anything.

	over the weekend i didn't leave my room.  i ignored my mothers 
 screams and only came out to use the bathroom at 2:48am when i couldn't 
 hold it anymore.  the worms consumed my time.

	on monday i came to school to have a notice shoved in my face by 
 my homeroom teacher, i was to report to the guidance office immediately.

	as i walked in i saw a nice man, he was supposed to be my counselor.
 
		"for what?", i asked.

		"the school system has reason to belive you're on drugs, 
 	you've been acting pretty strangely lately."

		"uhm, that's dumb, i'm not on drugs."

		"i'm afraid that won't cut it, you'll have to take a test 
 to prove it, son."

	i ignored whatever he might have said after that, i simply nodded 
 my way through the conversation, on autopilot.  after a while he got up 
 and i walked after him, we walked into the parking lot and to an 
 ambulance, they brought me to the hospital, no lights or sirens, just a 
 routine thing, after that i found myself in a lab with a man in a white 
 lab coat.

		"hello young man, all you'll need to do is pee in this 
 	and you can go."

	he handed me a small cup and directed me to the bathroom.  i 
 pee'd in the cup and handed it back to him, and walked out into the 
 parking lot, i saw my moms car and stepped inside and we drove home.  i 
 decided it would be best to ignore whatever paranoid conversation she 
 came up with.

	after i got home i watched the worms, how they squirmed, i had it 
 all then.  they were so pretty, so, distinguished.  so great.

	i was late to school the next day, it was 12:23 when i got there, 
 most people were mocking me and word around the school was that i was on 
 drugs.  someone came up to me and knocked me on the shoulder, "hey you 
drugged out freak.  how're you."

		"i'm not on drugs, asshole."

		"oh yeah?  then why're you such a mess, why do you come 
	to MY school lookin' like you just stepped out of a torture chamber?  
	why, even through all this, do you look so content with your 
	disgraceful situation?"

		"yeah, well, what i've got is much too COOL for you."
	
		"hahah the nerdboy thinks he's cool!  ha, anything YOU 
 	have is another thing i don't want, dork."

		"oh yeah, you've probably never even heard of wiggle 
 	worms so FUCK YOU idiot, you're so fucking dumb."

	i had slipped big time, i told him what they were.

		"wiggle worms?!  YOU FUCKIN' RETARD, THOES THINGS ARE 
 	KIDSTUFF MAN!"

	it started as a whisper deep in the back of my soul, something 
 you don't hear until you have nothing but it.. "shut up", i whispered. 
 	
		"shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut UP shut UP 
	ShuT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!#$!%$#&^%#@"

	it became a scream, a tear in my soul that couldn't be sewn.  i 
 reached out my hand, i took my fingers to his eyes, i felt the warmth 
 surround them, i felt him wiggle and jerk around as i tore again and 
 again, i bit and bit at his face until i couldn't recongnize it anymore, 
 then i felt a massive yank on my shoulder. 

	the policeman tried to handcuff me but i pulled his gun out, i 
 fired shots in as many directions as i could think of, i tried to kill 
 everyone there, i was so full of hate and disease i couldn't think of 
 anything else to do.  my very being had been torn down and destroyed in 
 front of my own face.

	i ran home to and up to my room, covered in blood, i looked at 
 the worms and then i relalised what my life had become.

		"bullshit BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!#", i screamed out loud.

	it was all i was, stupid, bullshit, nothing.  i realised i had 
 given my whole life up for some kind of worm that couldn't even get into 
 congress, i realised that i had destroyed my whole life in six days and 
 i would never be able to build it up again.  the police would come, they 
 would lock me away, i would never be anything, my life would never go 
 anywhere.

	     		     so i ate the worms.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!     HOE #802 - WRITTEN BY: NETTLE - 9/1/99 ]
