
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
  ##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #459 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
  ##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Why Do I Date Closed-minded Pricks?"    !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Caitlin                            !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/21/99                                  !!
 !!========================================================================!!

        Okay... and intro... la la la... this was a convo I had with an
 asshole on AOL.  An asshole I stumbled apon once apon a time.  It's
 pretty stupid, or at least he is.  I can be so pathetic, jeez...
 assholes stick to me like a load in the eyeball.

 !!========================================================================!!

 AddictZero: Hello
  Synikalle: hi hi
 AddictZero: Question:
  Synikalle: yeeees?
 AddictZero: Why would anyone have to contemplate them being real?  I
             believe that that would make someone disillusioned and just
             fucking crazy.
  Synikalle: I don't think people do contemplate it
  Synikalle: i just think that it's a subconcious thing that's there.
             There's no reason to say we're not real, so..
 AddictZero: then why would anyone need something to realize that they
             are real when they know that already.  No one is fake in the
             sense that they dont exist in reality
  Synikalle: what is real anyway. Yanno.. just a stupid fucking
             definition created by someone else.
  Synikalle: what is reality though
  Synikalle: everyone has a different reality
 AddictZero: Everyone is in agreement that everything around them (for
             the most part) exists in some reality, whether its mine or
             Mr. Smiths, it is still thre.  That is one of the stupidest
             things I have ever heard anyone say.
  Synikalle: then why do you still talk to me.
 AddictZero: because I dont not like you.  I just thought that that whole
             "clinging to something to assure that hey are real" thing is
             riduculous
 AddictZero: they rather
  Synikalle: Well, that's how alot of people are. Christians find comfort
             in Christianity and knowing that there is a heaven, and
             salvation... et cetera
  Synikalle: Lesbians find comfort in their secure sexuality
  Synikalle: as do Heterosexuals
  Synikalle: I'm different in that aspect. I don't find comfort in
             anything.
 AddictZero: but that doesnt ever make them think that they are fake, or
             even "not-real" whatever. Its a comfort device, but never a
             realization of being real because everyone knows that they
             are real
  Synikalle: when I was a few years younger, relationships were the only
             secure thing for me. but... now.. I like falling. Not having
             anything except blank sheets ahead of me is normal and
             intriguing and ..
  Synikalle: I'm using myself as an example. I have no faith except
             what's there in my subconcious. No words to describe it, no
             god, no thought. Pure Love. I have nothing to hide behind,
             nothing to believe in, nothing to argue over, because there
             is nothing there.
  Synikalle: I accept what I am given at each second of each day. I don't
             question what is there.. because there is nothing to question
  Synikalle: most people can't deal with that.
  Synikalle: in fact, almost everyone.
  Synikalle: including you, obviously.
 AddictZero: But why would anything make you real when you already are
             real?  I question everything to further myself. everything
             is a learning process.
  Synikalle: nothing makes you real. It's the idea of security. if
             there's nothing to cling to, you float off into the abyss.
 AddictZero: no you dont. I cling to nothing and I am stronger because
             of it.
  Synikalle: actually, you're a philosopher, you cling to simple
             definitions of life...
  Synikalle: definitions = meanings.
  Synikalle: like your whole quest for picking apart everything
 AddictZero: no, becase I dont care what life means because I already
             know.  So there is no clinging
  Synikalle: then why were you so upset for the past week or whatever,
             why did you have to decipher every little thing that life
             has been shown as
 AddictZero: I didnt.  I didnt decifer anything.  I had to decide some
             personal things.  See...I told you that you'd see and by
             showing you I find that you dont get me one bit.  You dont
             know me
  Synikalle: See, the thing is Jaime..
  Synikalle: I'm not saying you're completely wrong... 
  Synikalle: what i'm trying to point out is your concrete beliefs
 AddictZero: I'm not wrong at all.  
  Synikalle: everything that you know is how everything is definately.
             everyone else is wrong.
  Synikalle: I don't know if what i feel is right, but i don't know if
             it's wrong
 AddictZero: And I have no concrete beliefs because I decide what I
             believe when it is shown to me.  Then I can discount that
             also.  I dontbelieve in anything for clingingness or
             security.
  Synikalle: well, how i feel, doesn't discount anyone. anybodys beliefs
             could be right, or wrong
  Synikalle: because nobody knows for sure
  Synikalle: and you're right, I don't know you at all. You keep yourself
             well hidden, and don't give other people a chance to see
             inside.
 AddictZero: Thats beacause I dont have to show anyone who I am and
             rarely I do.  Theres things that no one needs to know and
             things that arent known to anyone because it would make them
             realize many things about themselves and destruct certain
             thoughts that they had.  i save them from that
 AddictZero: I'm not into discosure.  I gain trust in other ways
  Synikalle: you're pretty confident in that. but not everyone is weak
             like you think.
  Synikalle: there is.. getting to know people.. i'm not saying just be
             an open person..
 AddictZero: Yes they are.  Mostly everyone is weak and feeble minded
             and cant take certain things.  I can tell this of people
  Synikalle: I'm saying, not everybody is. I already pointed out the fact
             that most people are insecure, but what I am saying... not
             everybody is.
 AddictZero: 99.9% are.  You are.  I was.  dont say your not, because
             there is much evidence to support this
  Synikalle: no need to get arrogant.
  Synikalle: "you don't have to like me for who i am.. but we'll see what
             you're made of by what you make of me."
 AddictZero: I'm not being arrogant.  I am a bringer of truth.  I can
             tell who someone is the second they open thier mouths.  And
             I am made of what people made me.  "You aren't who you think
             you are, you're what everyone else thinks you are" -Fishism
  Synikalle: that's stupid
  Synikalle: no offense
  Synikalle: :)
 AddictZero: Don't take all of this as a "I hate you" thing, or any other
             negetive way.  And thats not stupid.  It's the fucking truth.
             What is truth you may ask...Well, we all know what truth is
  Synikalle: classic western thinking.
  Synikalle: as for the last quote, that might be the motto of marketing
             employes, but if you're seriously using that quote, that's
             what we in the biz call "superifcial as hell"
 AddictZero: What isn't true about that?  You can think you are
             something, but ultimatly for what?  To project that upon
             someone else.  If someone thinks I am an asshole then thats
             what I am.  I can think whatever I want but it's all up to
             everyone else.  Like you...You think the world of yourself
             although someone may think that you are a bitch and any other
             negetive thing.  They dont see you as being gorgeous and
             whatever...they see you as a bitch.  That makes you a bitch
             then.  And its not superficial.  Its true...
 AddictZero: you just want to be above it.  No one is
  Synikalle: yeah, so what if you leave a little piece of yourself with
             everyone else, that doesn't make you what everyone else
             thinks you are.  everyone gets different impressions of
             people, even when they get to know them.
  Synikalle: they're two different extremes
  Synikalle: one can not rely only on what they think of themselves,
             NOR what others think of them--they must use both
  Synikalle: however, ultimately what you think of yourself will guide
             you farther in life
  Synikalle: for someone can be a truly wonderful person, yet still
             mocked and hurt.  does that make them less valuable?  of
             course not.
 AddictZero: Yes it does because thats what they are made into
  Synikalle: there are too many people in this world to worry about what
             each individuals percieves you as
 AddictZero: right. I am not saying you should wrry about it.  But to you
             you are the best.  To me I am the best.  No who else
             believes that I or you is the best?  No one.  Its good to
             have esteem and not give a fuck what people say but still,
             we are what they say we are
  Synikalle: you cant be made into anything by what others think of
             you...its you who start anything and that spawns whatever
             thoughts others might have....its just different ways of
             perceiving the same thing, if you want to get philosophical
  Synikalle: you are not soley made who you are by what others think of
             you.  there are several factors. you can choose to be
             affected or not be affected
  Synikalle: to say our entire identity is made by what others say about
             is is pretty silly, i think
  Synikalle: or just naive
  Synikalle: if a person is relatively weak...their identity can be
             changed by what others say....but only to a certain extent
 AddictZero: Check it...You just arent looking at this the right way.
             You are who you are to no one but yourself. Now, given you
             may come off as close as you can to what you think you are,
             someone still will take away from that by making an opinion
             on you making you someone else.  still Caitlin, but Joe's
             Caitlin, not Caitlin's Caitlin
  Synikalle: so, what the hell is your point, anyways?
 AddictZero: I already established that
 AddictZero: I could sit here all day arguing my point versus yours and
             we will get nowhere.  I am leaving now
  Synikalle: well
 AddictZero: well what?
  Synikalle: i still miss seeing you
  Synikalle: *giggle*
 AddictZero: We'll see about fixing that.  With school and pre made plans
             for this weekend, it may be difficult.  We'll do something
             soon though
  Synikalle: heh, neat.
 AddictZero: Now I leave you
  Synikalle: peace.

 !!========================================================================!!
 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!   HOE #459, LOGGED BY: CAITLIN - 1/21/99 !!
