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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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				joy
                                ---

	a slick sly motherfucker looks me up and down, says
	'hey baby, lookin good' and i feel like a ham on a
	hook in Joe Schmoe's butcher shop. his leer yawns
	like a chasm, and disgust twists in the pit of my
	gut. whip me, hurt me, make me bleed. that's all i
	am good for. i look down at my scuffed black boots,
	the hole in the knee of my leggings, the worn flannel,
	(hey baby, looking homeless) and wonder how far i have
	to go to look unlovable and totally leavable.

	i type inanely (make install) and crawl around on the
	floor (which patch panel does this fucking thing
	plug into?) and growl at the insane howl of my pager
	(BOGUS! Build failed!). do this, do that, can i
	lick your boots mister, and would you like that in
	perl or /bin/sh? i picture pools of blood forming
	in the cracks between the keys of my keyboard.

	i think i am having a nervous breakdown.

	(where is your entourage?) she asked me while she
	poured my grande' non-fat latte. yeah, my fucking
	entourage, only she doesn't know that i have
	two of them. i glance over my shoulder and there
	is no one there, but i can feel them piled up
	on my back like a demon orgy out of a Stephen
        King novel. (they are on vacation) and i smile
	and sip my latte, but a tear gathers in the
	corner of my eye.
	
	dark grey days are my style. a day like today
	makes me feel like my soul is in tune with the
	weather, and i want to thank god for noticing
	me. (please sir, can i have some more?)

	i am having a nervous breakdown.

	having a nervous breakdown #!/bin/sh patch panel
	annexes coffee bills too much too soon too young
	glowing angel want to go to him please sir can
	i have some more and while you are at it can you
	make more feel more worthless cause i think i 
	slipped and had self esteem for a second there
	and i want to sleep for days in a cool room
	break shit while people who do not love me
	point and laugh the world is spinning and dear
	god how i love this shit

	yeah. a nervous breakdown.

	demonika

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