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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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			Napolean In Rags
			----------------

	3 dollars on my desk. Coffee sitting just out of the reach
of my left hand. Tiedye fashioned incense burner juts out of the desk,
half burned stick dangling in the air. A book of matches, perhaps ten
or twelve remain, lies discarded in the pile of other useful filth
occupying the space in front of me.

	Occasionally these days I'll mediate. Breath in for five,
out for five, lather, rinse, repeat. I've been wanting to do some
reading on transcendental meditation, but that's besides the point.
In my meditation, I often have a reoccuring visual image of a high
mountain peak, steeped in a rim of brilliant light case of the petals
of thousands of turquoise and red flowers. A river flows near by,
and a fair breeze blows.

	Then all hell breaks loose. Blood spills. The wrists of
a thousand suicides rain in torrents from the sky. A thousand
villages are burned. A bomb rips through a federal building. A
murderer escapes from a high security prison.

	Breath in for five seconds.

	Sometimes I wonder if I'll go insane. Once in a great while,
I'll repeat all of the multiplication tables in my head, unyielding
for an hour or more. I watched Dead Poets Society, well, perhaps a
half hour of it, never have finished the movie, a little bit yesterday.

	Breath out.

	Been doing some work on dreams. I think Thoreau or some
other noted character once said that 'Dreams are the gateway to the
soul.' Well, if that's true.. I've had some odd dreams lately. 
Immediately upon waking I would reach down and pick up a journal
where I would proceed to write them down for later analysis. I've
found some very odd things. I've dreamt of everything from two
Italian guys sitting in a diner and discussing the price of ham,
to meeting the Antichrist in an airport. It's a wonderful life.

	Doing some reading as well. Read a little bit of the
Rise and the Fall of the Third Reich before I moved on to something
else. My attention span hasn't been what it used to be these days.
It seemed that in his early years, Hitler was a drifter, much like
what seem to be the lonely soles of the writers of FUCK. Wandering
the streets, a vagabond, a pseudo-intellectual, easily misguided
by biased writing, a hopeful artiste.

	Picked up the Grapes of Wrath the other day as well.
Very good book, supposedly one of Steinbeck's best. We'll see.
So far, I've followed the misadventures of a Tom Joad, convicted
of murder and out on parole, to find his depression ridden family
out in the country, and have had the time to watch with a sort've
put off anxiety, their trip to the golden state of California.
Oranges will hang from every tree and they'll be some shade for
the hard working American man.

	Ahh, the plight of the migrant farm worker. Dwindling
away in his corn fields, hoe in hand, barn twenty five paces away,
pigs snorting, roosters crowing. Inbred children, three legged
dog, pumping the well with all his might. Have to tend to alot
of crops to afford his expensive cocaine habit.

	And so, the sun still creeps up over the horizon at
dawn, the moon still shines overhead at night, some annoying
ass crickets still chirp outside my window until the daylight
hour, chipmunks still scurry around in the woods, and another
file comes to an end.


-dropcomm/descend 

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