

OINK!                         OINK OINK BABY!
                                                             OINK!

                          #         ###   
        MOO!              #        #   #
                          # ###   #  #  #   ####
                          ##   #  #  #  #  #    #
                          #    #  #  #  #  #####
                          #    #   #   #   #      95         MOO!
                          #    #    ###     ####

                              Hogs   Of   Entropy
                   
  OINK!                        
         |---------|                            
         |         | <- if you look close enough you can see the
         |         |    invisible hog, he is inside hiding.
         |---------|
         


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey people this is Metalchic, writing another wacky issue of Hoe,  but
this time I actually WROTE  (I felt SASSY! hee hee) something for it.. wow
metalchic write.. hmm I don't think that is possible.  Well it is.. and
here is it!

3Y3z D0N'7 b33 N33D1n D4T M0G3L N0 M0R3!

This is about something i was thinking about before i went to sleep last
night. It's about how dumb most girls are, when you read it you will know
what I am talking about. HAVE FUN.. READ AWAY!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Girls are Dumb.
Written by  metalchic    .-----------------.
                         | GIRLS ARE DUMB! |
                         |_________________|        
                                 \ O  
                                  oo >  - I'm dumb tEE! hEE!
                                   \)         
                                   / \
         
                      
I've been going out with Sara for a short time. I really don't know how
long, she usually keep up with that stuff.  She is the kind of girl that
keeps up with all the new trends and listens to the same music as everyone
else. She was 16 years old, and I was 18.  She acted like such a child, I
really hated her, I just used her for all the good head she gave me, she
was always to scared to have sex.  She would tell me how much she loved
me, I would look at her and quickly change the subject, she didn't have a
clue what love was, she didn't know much about anything. I didn't love
her, I couldn't stand her, everything about her was so annoying.  When
she would call I would try not to be home but, I was here today and I
picked up the phone. I didn't want to talk to her but, i had to. 
I got up from my bed and quickly picked up the phone.

"hello." 

and in her annoying squeaky voice that I hated so much, she
spoke.  

"HI IT'S ME WERE YOU SLEEPING?" 

"No, what do you wan't?"

"WANT TO GO OUT."

"okay i'll pick you up."

"OKAY BYE I LOVE YOU!!"

"i'll be right over."

"bye."

*click*

I know it was mean to hang up on her like that but I really didn't care
she wasn't anything special to me, she was just another girl.  I know when
I got the her house the first thing she would say to me was, "HI, WHY DID
YOU HANG UP ON ME LIKE THAT?  YOU KNOW THAT MAKES ME SO UPSET."
and then I would come up with some cheezy excuss so I wouldn't have to
hear it from her.

So got up from my bed, picked up a pair of pants from the floor, got a
shirt from the closet, put my coat on and went outside.  I got into my
1979 Chevy Impla, it was blue and the paint was chipped of of it, I
always hated this car but I couldn't afford anything better.
Then shut the door and turned the key.  I put a tape in the car and
started singing so I didn't have to think about going to her house.  When
I got there she ran out of the house and came up to the car before I could
even open my car door, She always did that, she was always excited when I
came over.  She was to happy all the time.  We were totally oppisit and
had nothing in common so I never had anything to say to her, if I asked
her about some new band or something she would be like, "WHO IS THAT?"
She looked at me and said, "WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON ME LIKE THAT?"
Then I turned to her and said, "My mom was calling me, i had to go."  She
belived everything I said, as if she looked up to me or something.  "OK
COOL, YOUR MOM IS SO NICE."  I looked confused, "My mom nice, heh."  I
smirked.  "I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU."  I knew she was going to ask me to
do something, she is so predictable.  "STACEY IS HERE CAN YOU DRIVE HER
HOME PLEASE."  "Okay."

So I sat in the car and waited for her thinking what a bad idea this was
going to be, her friends are more annoying then she is, I don't know why I
am still going out with her, maby I should break it all off today,  maby I
should just tell her how I feel.  She came out with Stacey, and they were
whispering to eachother and giggling.  Stacey was so much cuter than Sara,
Sara knew that too, and she would ask me constantly if she was, and I
would always lie to her and tell her that she was hot, and Stacey was
nothing.  She would just smile, kiss me, and then tell me she loved me,
and that I was the greatest thing that ever happened to her.

So the both of them hopped in the car Sara in the front, Stacey in the
back.  I started the car up.  Sara was just sitting there trying to
talk to me and Stacey was sitting in the back staring at me in the
mirrior as if I didn't even notice.  We got to Stacey's house and we
dropped her home.  Then they did that annoying thing, "BYE S!!,"  
"Bye S."  She tried making conversation again and said, "WHERE DO YOU WANT
TO GO?"  trying not to hear her, I didn't say anything.  "OKAY LETS GO TO
THE DINER."  "Okay."

We got to the diner and we got out of the car, I thought I would be nice
and open her door, boy was I wrong.  "OH THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU *kiss*
THESE ARE THE LITTLE THINGS THAT BRING US TOGETHER YA KNOW.  I MEAN FOR A
SECOND I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME ANYMORE BUT THEN YOU DID THAT...  YOU
ARE JUST SO NICE, I LOVE YOU."  We walked into the door and the waiter
approched us, "Two?"  We both nodded.  He seated us and gave us both
menus. 

her: I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY, CAN YOU BUY ME SOMETHING?
me:  Sure, get whatever you want. (she always expected me to pay for her,
     but I had just as much money as she did.)
her: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS HUN?
me:  Friday?
her: NO, HOW COULD YOU FORGET WHAT DAY IT IS?!@
me:  okay Sara, what's today?
her: WE HAVE BEEN GOING OUT FOR 2 LONG MONTHS, AND I KNOW WE HAD SOME
     PROBLEMS THROUGHOUT THE RELATIONSHIP BUT IT IS OUR TWO MONTH
     ANNIVERSARY.
me:  (as if this was a REAL relationship, and I really cared) I shruged
     and said, oh thats nice.
her: DO YOU EVEN CARE??? THIS IS SPECIAL TO ME, AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE DO
     YOU?
me:  I care, i'm just not in a good mood, my dog died yesterday.
her: FERMALDIHIDE!! YOUR DOG, I AM SO SORRY. 
me:  yeah, I am heartbroken, really. (sarcastic smirk)
her: I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU SAD, SORRY.
me:  It's okay.

the waiter comes up, "would you like anything to drink?"

her: I WOULD LIKE A STRABERRY MILKSHAKE WITH A LITTLE SWIRL OF WHIPPED
     CREME ON THE TOP, AND IF IT IS POSSIBLE CAN YOU PUT A CHERRY ON TOP?
wtr: And you sir?
me:  Just a coke will be fine.

The waiter walked away with a confused look on his face.

her: I GOT YOU SOMETHING.
me:  What?
her: A PRESENT FOR THIS SPECIAL DAY.
me:  okay, cool.  Sorry I didn't get you anything, I uhh.. uhm have to
     save up for a new paint job on my car.
her: THAT'S OKAY AS LONG AS OUR LOVE LASTS FOREVER!  YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET
     ME ANYTHING.
me:  (I suddenly got a sick feeling in my stomach, her forever.) Hold on I
     have to go to the bathroom.
her: OKAY IT WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU AT THE TABLE.

I ran to the bathroom and threw up.  I don't know why I did, she only
said one thing.  After this I knew I had to do it, I had to break up with
her, I didn't like this feeling at all. I washed my mouth out with water
lit up a cigarette and went back to the table.

her: YOU SHOULD STOP SMOKING.
me:  No, I enjoy smoking.  It keeps me going.
her: COULD YOU PLEASE NOT BLOW IT IN MY EYES?
me:  Sure. (I moved my cigarette to the other side of the table)

The waiter walked up and brought out drinks.

wtr: Are you ready to order?
her: YES, I WOULD LIKE I STEAK DINNER AND A SIDE ORDER OF FRIES.
me:  I would just like fries, thank you.
wtr: okay, i'll be back.
me:  WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, THAT IS GOING TO COST LIKE $20, I DON'T HAVE
     THAT KIND OF MONEY!
her: PLEASE DON'T YELL AT ME, I HATE WHEN YOU YELL AT ME, JUST OPEN YOUR
     PRESENT.
me:  Fine. (I opened the card, it was a love card, and she wrote on the
     inside "You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, I
     want you to be happy, I love you so much you don't know how much I
     love you.  I may not show it sometimes, but really deep in my heart I
     love you, with heart and soul.  Love Sara."  That was just sick, I
     had a disgusted look on my face.  I took a drag of my cigarette)
her: WHAT?
me:  Nothing I got smoke cought in my throat.
her: OH OKAY, I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, OPEN THE GIFT!
me:  okay. (she had this happy look in her face like she was doing
     something good.  So I unraveled the teddy bear paper to find a Bush
     cd, I hated Bush, I hated her music, I hated all of it.) Thanks.
her: DO YOU LIKE IT?
me:  uhm yeah, thanks.
her: I love you.

The waiter came back up to the table, "here is you're food."
He placed the food on the table and we began to eat.

her: THIS IS SO GOOD!
me:  yep.

We ate for awhile, about 10 minuites passed and I finished my food, she
was still eating her steak dinner.  I really didn't want to buy it for
her, but i did.

her: YOU KNOW I REALLY LOVE YOU.
me:  Oh.
her: WHY DON'T YOU EVER SAY IT BACK?
me:  (I had to tell her, I couldn't live with this anymore, I couldn't
     take her annoying self.  So I said it.)  Sara, I don't love you.

She dropped her fork and looked at me like she was about to cry.

her: YOU WHAT?
me:  I don't love you, I never loved you, I never even liked you.  (I felt
     bad, she stared cring)
her: I CAN'T *sniff* BELIVE THIS, WHY?  WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU. I DI...
     I OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIV.. BE... I CAN'T BELIVE YOU!! *sniff*
me:  I'm sorry.
her: WHY? WHY? WHAT DID I EVER DO?
me:  (she was crying in her food.)  Stop cring, I will tell you the whole
     truth, just stop we are in the middle of a resturant.
me:  (I called for the waiter)  CAN WE GET A CHECK HERE PLEASE? 

He came and brought the check, I paid and we quickly left.

me:  Why do you have to make such a big scene?
her: I LOVED Y.. YO.. YOU.
me:  you don't know what love is, you know nothing, you are 16 years old,
     you are annoying I can't stand you, you tend to piss me off all the
     time, and I can't take it anymore.  I don't like your music, I don't
     like the clothes you wear, I don't like anything about you.
her: JUST DRIVE ME HOME NOW, I CAN'T HEAR THIS ANYMORE, IT IS UPSETTING ME
     TO MUCH! *cry*


So I drove her home, I didn't know what to say.  We got to her house and
no one was home, she was in tears.  "I'm sorry Sara."  She looked at me
with tears in her eyes, "YOU ARN'T SORRY, YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT I HATE
YOU, DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN. I HATE YOU SO MUCH, HOW COULD YOU DO
THIS TO ME?" I just looked at her, I didn't know what to say, i was not
good at this.  "Sara."  "WHAT."  "You can have your cd back, I know you
want it more than I do.  She grabbed it from me opened the car door and
ran inside.

I didn't know, I felt so bad, I just couldn't deal with it anymore.  She
just pissed me off all the time, i hated it.  I got home, got out of my
car and walked inside.  My mother came in and immidatly yelled at me.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, YOU KNOW YOU ARE SUCH
A LITTLE SHIT."

I just looked at her, I was so confused, I just walked in what did I do?

"What the hell did I do"

"YOU ARE SO MEAN TO ALL THE GIRLS YOU GO OUT WITH, AFTER YOU AND LISA
BROKE UP YOU HAVE BEEN SO MEAN TO GIRLS, HOW DID IT FEEL WHEN LISA DUMPED
YOU, YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, YOU SAT IN THIS HOUSE AND MOPED AROUND FOR TWO
MONTHS, AND NOW YOU ARE DOING IT TO GIRLS.  I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON YOUR
GIRLFRIEND JUST CALLED ME."

I knew she was right, but she just didn't understand.

"Whatever mom, I'm going out."

I thought to myself, She called my mom, what a little bitch.  It bothered
me so much.  How can she be so immature?  Why the hell did I go out with
her?  So I went out and played some pool with the boys, when I got home I
had 13 diffrent messages from Sara, telling me that she was sorry, and
more bullshit.  

I didn't know what to do, I just couldn't live with it.

*ring*
*ring*

I picked up, I knew it was her, I felt so bad.  So I picked up the phone,
I really didn't want to, but I just did.

me:  Hello.
her: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?
me:  I went out and played pool.
her: YOU KNOW YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE, I REALLY HATE YOU, YOU ARE SUCH A
     LOSER, I CAN'T BELIVE YOU.
me:  (I was mad at this point, that was it, I didn't want to hear this
     shit) If i'm such a loser then why are you calling me, why did you
     call my mom?  What the hell was that shit?  Why the fuck do you act
     like such a little girl?  Why don't you just leave me alone if i am
     such a loser? 
her: I'M KILLING MYSELF. BYE!

*click*

I knew she really wasn't going to do it.  But I never heard from her after
that.  I saw her friends, and they would always give me dirty looks.  I
always wondered what happened to her.  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is this the end?  Oh wait footer, uhm.
(c) HoE Publications & metalchic.   HoE #95 - 11/29/96 IT'S BLACK FRIDAY!  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
