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                                   presents
 
                               Killing Yourself
 
                                      by
 
                              Bloody Afterbirth
                               Toxic File  #77
 
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666deth666deth666deth666deth666deth66deth666deth666deth666dethdeth666deth666
 
   I've seen files and heard people talking about making other people kill
themselves, and sometimes they have good ideas...  But they've left a big
gap...  What about those who want to THEMSELVES?
 
13friday13friday13friday13friday13friday13friday13friday13friday13friday13
 
   So ya say yer parents think yer a Satanist and you're just sick enough of
living to shove it up their ass, eh?  Wellllll, for this, you'll need the
following :
 
   5 pieces of lead pipe, approximately 6 inches long and 1 inch diameter
   10 endcaps for the pipe
   1 drill (1/16th bit)
   1 car battery
   1 match
   several feet of speaker wire
   some scotch tape and some duct tape
   enough gunpowder to fill 6 pieces of the pipe
 
   Now that you have this...  Place a cap on each of the pipes and fill them
all with gunpowder (how'd you guess?).  Drill a hole in the remaining caps.
Now, remove 5 strands (single strands) of the speaker wire.  Now cut 5
pieces of the wire, approximately 6 feet in length.  Put the wire through
the hole in the caps (1 piece per hole, schmucks)  Bridge the wires with
the strands (bridge the left wire and the right wire, the positve and
negative, the black and red, DUH...)
   Strip the non-bridged ends of the wires, and tape all the negative sides
to each other, and all the positive sides to each other.  (Which is which
doesn't matter in the least)
   Tighten up the cap with the hole.  You may want to tape the wire into the
hole, if your wire is small enough that powder can leak out the hole.
   Now, remove all of your clothing.  Yes, all of it.
   Using the duct tape, strap a piece of pipe to each of your limbs (at the
knees and the elbows) and at the back of your neck.
   Lay down beside the car battery, it needs to be really close to you,
within reach of your prone body.
   Pour the remaining gunpowder on your chest in the shape of an upside down
cross and a swastika (the Nazi version will do) and if you have enough, a
small pentagram.  Move VERY slowly so you don't knock off the powder.
   Light the match and ignite the shapes on your chest.
   SCREAM real loud as the flames sear into your flesh.
   As the burns begin to really hurt, reach over with the tapes ends of the
wires (you DID tape the insulation and not the wire, didn't you???) and
connect them to the battery.  BOOOOOOM there go your extremeties!
   Your parents will see a smoking bloody mass of a chest with satan symbols
on it, and they will know at last that you truly were a Satanist!
 
 
   Let's say you have a hobby that your parents don't like..say...skydiving.
   Let's say you have a life that you don't like..say...your life.
   Let's say that you leap out of a perfectly functional airplane and decide
to plant your feet straight at the ground with your arms to your sides.
   Let's say that you hit 120 mph going straight down like a javelin and
plow into the ground...
   Let's say your spine erupts through the top of your head, impaling your
brain and raising it like a flag.
 
 
   Gosh...your parents (or wife) really didn't WANT to get you that Kawasaki
Ninja, but you R-E-A-L-L-Y wanted one, so you got it...  And gosh...  they
(she) has really been harping at you because you think helmets are for 
losers...  But, they won't listen, so you're going to show them how
effective a helmet is.
   You get out on the interstate (in California, you may have to leave the
state if you want to do this, or at least, get out of the parking-lots they
call free-ways!) and you have your nice little helmet on your nice little
head...
   You crank 'er up into 5th gear, you're flying down the road going about
140 mph...Oh gee!  Is that a concrete overpass support?  Wellll, turn the
fucker towards the overpass, lean out over your handlebars and S-L-A-M into
the support...See how much fucking good a helmet does!
 
 
   Your kids always bitching about how long you take in the shower?
   They just won't realize that it takes time to dry off properly?
   Well next time, jump in the shower without bothering to take your clothes
off, soak yourself as fast as possible (all this to save time), rush
downstairs into the utility room, turn on the dryer and CLIMB IN...
   By the time they follow your dripping trail you'll be a spinning mass of
clothed pizza...but they'll never bitch about your showers again.
 
 
   Wife think you're going to hurt yourself because you drink too much?
   Come home stone cold sober and blow your brains out with a shotgun.
   Drinking has nothing to do with it!
 
 
   Parents think Sex Is Sin and try to force that view on you?
   Write them a note...
 
      "I have sinned terribly...I commited acts of fornication...
       The guilt is too much to bear..."
 
   Then slice your dick off with a razor blade and bleed to death on your
bible.
 
 
   Car break down?
   Sick of the fuckers that won't give you a ride?
   Jump out in front of one of them.  They'll stop after they spread you
down the highway.
 
 
   Friends think drugs are going to bake your brain?  Tired of their
preaching?
   Show them what it's like when you REALLY get baked.
   30 minutes at 450 degrees should do the trick.
 
 
   Parents don't like you playing with fire?
   Eat some dry ice.
 
 
   Feeling religious?  Have some sick friends crucify you.
   Feeling racist?  Have the same friends light the cross.
   Roast Jew!
 
 
   Hook yourself up to a Honda generator and sing "You Light Up My Life"
 
 
   Got some punks at school who think they're bad because they can stick a
lighter in their mouth then blow flames out?
   Get a gas can, light it up, and DRINK flames!  They don't seem so bad
anymore, DO they?
 
 
   Set your pushmower up on its back wheels, you know, like you're working
on the blade...Crank it up and run and LEAP into the spinning blade...Diced
Meat!
 
 
   Go into a parking area on the interstate late at night...
   Tie two ropes to two trucks, one to each...
   Then tie one rope to your head and one to your waist and go to sleep...
   You'll probably awaken to a slight tugging feeling!
 
 
                 (c)July 1990  Bloody Afterbirth/Toxic Shock
 
 
 
