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     $$     .d""b. .d""b.                  HOE E'ZINE #1027
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     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$ss$$                   "Fam ly V lue"
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$                         by Anodyne
     $$  $$ $$  $$ $$  $$                      02/27/00
 [-- $$  $$ $$  $$ $$  $$ -- ------------------------------------------- --]
     $$  $$ "TssT" "TssT"

	Warning: If you have killed your parents inside you already, do
                 not read further.

 [-----]

	My father once told me that his ex-wife just _loved_ to suck and
 suck.
	All day long, son, she would just drain my balls.  Of course, I
 loved it, but...
	And one time, son, I sat on the edge of a bed in a goddamn Bates
 Motel somewhere near El Paso with a bottle and a gun and I chose the
 bottle.  My life has been so rewarding ever since.  Now I can pass on
 these goddamn stories to you, son, instead of rotting away unidentified
 in the sewer.
	"But you're rotting ME away, Pops."
	You've given me nothing but trouble!  You aren't my son until you
 graduate from goddamn college!
	Looking back, "A rolling stone gathers no moss" would have been
 more original, but:
	...Oh yeah, the goddamn college that Mom sent me to after my crack
 habit overwhelmed my wallet and had me dipping into yours.  That precious
 flow needs to stay away from Paco Degenero, the neighborhood rock man,
 and go to Jack Daniels like its supposed to.  You earned that dough
 slaving over a hammer and nails when your degree in history didn't land
 you a job.  Work sucks.  No way to see that one coming, eh Pops.  I'm
 not bitter, it's just that when you spank me I know it's fake but when
 you yell I think it's real.
	I'm glad Mom found you.  She must have been out partying one night
 and seen you in the corner raging against the walls.  "What a fine
 looking stud!  I think I'll sit on that rocky knob for a while and ride
 him into financial freedom.  Looks like he can really kick some ass, too,
 and keep me safe from all those loonies."  A clever woman she is, to be
 able to ignore you for so long and convince you of love so well without
 being torn down with you...
	Of course, that day I just nodded and looked down into my lap at
 my torn jeans and Marlboro logo peering out from my shirt pocket and
 cried.  I cried softly and mostly to myself so you wouldn't hear and call
 me a faggot.

 [-----]

	Mom says you are manic depressive, but I argue that your pills are
 your bottle, are your cigarettes and your endless slaving work days and
 your ten cups of coffee and your life and despair.  Thanks for
 reproducing, I surely do appreciate it.  Someday when I'm rich I'll come
 back with my wife and show you how thick a wallet true love makes, and
 how effortlessly it happens.

 [-----]

	Do I need some pussy?  Yes.  Do I want some?  I distrust birth
 control.  It is real fun to look at yourself and your family and only be
 able to notice that the world will be better off if...
	This is just going nowhere.  Fuck you, Dad, you are dead.  Fuck
 you, Mom, for playing him out.  Mmmm.... fucking Mom.  Now that would be
 a blast and none too difficult, what with the joyous state of the
 marriage and all.
	My mother was fond of telling me to stay away from girls.
	I appreciate the advice.  Remember how easily you control Dad, you
 cunt?  Remember how strong you are?  I am ten years old and I'm going to
 realize you are just being cute.  Sure.
	So I am going to make a big file cabinet in my head with a drawer
 marked "Freud and Forget" and put this text file in there.  Then I'm
 going to make a big ocean in my mind and toss the file cabinet in.  Then
 I'm going to make a enormous craggy asteroid to smash into the planet,
 careening it into the sun for disintegration.
	When a race of beings resembling Quetzacoatl become self-aware on
 Pluto in twenty-five thousand years every ray of sunshine will still have
 some residue from that cabinet.
	I'll just be doing my part in helping them invent firearms.
	See, my dad likes guns.  He has eighteen guns.  See Dad shoot!  
 Shoot Dad shoot!
	Girls, its not about his penis, its about getting ready for the
 end of the world.  There is a great need to prepare for the End Times.  
 When those fucking punks come a' lootin', he'll be ready.  They won't be
 laughing for long when they see his two barrels smoking and their buddy
 enjoying a new career as a mural.
	The Red Cross can keep their bottled water and canned yams. Dad'll
 keep his eyes sharp and finger tendons loose.  He is a product of the
 sixties but never quite forgot about HIS parents every time he stuck a
 whore or toked a bowl.  Every time he got free love and harmony, I mean.  
 (Grand)Father was right!  I am nothing!  I'm COMMIINNNGG!
	Kill your parents inside you today.  Unless they found true love...

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 [ (c) HOE E'ZINE -- http://www.hoe.nu    HOE #1027, BY ANODYNE - 02/27/00 ]
