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   ooooo   ooooo  .oooooo.  oooooooooooo       HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #615
   `888'   `888' d8P'  `Y8b `888'     `8
    888     888 888      888 888           "Why I Refuse to Believe in God"
    888ooooo888 888      888 888oooo8
    888     888 888      888 888    "                  by Cyn
    888     888 `88b    d88' 888       o               5/6/99
   o888o   o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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        It's a personal thing.  And by that, I don't mean personal like,
 unique me reasons.  I mean personal like, between me and Him.  You see, I'm
 convinced He hates me.  So I refuse to believe in Him.  (Note: I just went
 to get some Pez out of my Bunny Pez dispenser, and a piece of it broke in
 half and flew at my face.  Proof, perhaps?)

        I'm an atheist child of atheist parents, raised as godless as they
 come.  I distinctly remember hearing as a small child some story about how
 people wanted to find out what language Man naturally spoke, and so they
 got all these babies, and raised them without ever speaking to them, and
 the babies all died.  The moral I got out of this story is that God doesn't
 play fair, since it was obvious to me that he had killed the babies.  So
 one of my very first impressions of God was that He was a cruel bastard.

        Then there was Elementary School, where every single one of my
 friends was convinced I was going to Hell, and that it was their job to
 Save me.  So there was this God guy again, completely unfairly sending me
 to Enternal Damnation, and there was apparently nothing I could do about
 it.  I mean, I could go to church and stuff, but church scared me even more
 than the threats of damnation.  Everyone else seemed to just Know that
 their God was the right one, and I had no clue how one would even go about
 picking which God to believe in.  It was completely unfair that I should go
 to Hell if I guessed wrong.  There was God again, refusing to play fair.

        My first girlfriend left me because her Catholic family couldn't
 deal with her dating girls.  There was God, completely fucking with my
 social life.  My second girlfriend also left me because her Catholic family
 couldn't deal with her dating girls.  I was beginning to see a conspiracy
 of sorts in this.  God was obviously out to get me.

        So now there's this whole Godless Atheist Bisexual thing I've got
 going, which nine out of ten Believers will tell you is sending me straight
 to hell.  I'm sure that textfile I wrote about wanting to boink Jesus is
 enough by itself to get me a good seat.  God obviously just doesn't like
 me.  So fuck Him.  I'm not going to believe in anyone who doesn't like me,
 omnipotent or not.  I may be going to Hell, but at least I play fair.
 Well, most of the time.

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 [ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!        HOE #615 - WRITTEN BY: CYN - 5/6/99 ]
