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                         Underground eXperts United

                                 Presents...

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         [  Forest Thump  ]                           [  By DIzzIE  ]


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_)_)_)_)_)_(_(_(_(_(_
aight:

presenting.....an eatwhileyoushit production, in
association with fuckwhileyoukill unmotion
antipictures:

Forest Thump

BY: DIzzIE
--------------

[scene: forest thump is sitting on a bench, wearing
short white shorts, gulping down chocolates, whith the
chocolates smeared all over his face, zoom in on the
side of the chocolate box: "BigMomma's Laxative
Products," an old lady comes along]

Forest: Hello M'am
Lady: Hello son
F: would u like a chocolate?
L: no thanks sonny, Grandma's not falling for that one
again...no siryeee
F: my drunken-dadda always said: whores are like a box
of sweet sweet cheap chocolates: you cant stop at one,
you gotta eat the whole fucking box, and then go out
and buy yourself another box, and then another one,
until your wife finds out that you've been spending
your money on chocolates and takes out her
Winchester.......
L: that's nice sonny, grandma's a little hung over
from last night's Tequila and Bingo Bash, so would you
mind shutting the fuck up?
F: quite allright grand........[LOUD FART]OOOOOOOOOH!
I say, i gots to go to the bathroom...
[forest jumps up, and starts running in slow motion,
the "eye of the tiger" song starts playing, there are
lots of kids on the sides of the street holding vodka
and Jack Daniel's whiskey bottles, yelling "you've got
the runs Forest, you've got the runs!"
slowly an unsightful bulge appears, you can see the
brown staining his white shorts, then a thick brown
liquid begins to drizzle down the side of his leg,
leaving a trail on the sidewalk, insert a bunch of
farts along the way]
F: oh goodness, I darn gone and pooped in mah pahnts,
daddy's g'nna beat me again...
[forest finally reaches the bathroom, savagely pulling
out a fishing/gutting knife and jabbing it into the
guy who's already sitting on the toilet, killing him
and pushing him out of the way]
BathroomGuy: Hey what the fuck? You sick ass mother
fucker, what the fuck are you doing?
F:i be using the skills the american army taught us in
vi-et-nam [all the while stabbing the guy] they call
this the "carving contest" its what the americans did
to all the vietnamese children, the ones whom they
didnt use for sex anyway...
BG: aaaaaagh, I'm dead.....
[Forest successfully sits down on the toilet,the music
stops. Absolute Silence. Then we hear a satisfying
loud "thump" and forest slumps to the side, dead]

--Fin!--
haha, wasn't that funny? no? fuck you too.
email me: xcon0@yahoo.com

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 uXu #573              Underground eXperts United 2000              uXu #573
                               http://uXu.org/
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