BTN:  Birmingham Telecommunications News
COPYRIGHT 1990

November 1990    Volume 3, Issue 10

Table Of Contents
-----------------
Article Title                                  Author

Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff
Editorial Column...............................Mark Maisel
Top Ten List...................................Tyros
SLMR 1.0:  A Review............................Steven Wheeler
BTN/Matrix Halloween Party Wrap................Tricky Dick
Birmingham On Less Than One Dollar Per Day.....Tyros
ProFile:  Edwin Million........................Chris Mohney
? Why I Compute ?..............................Dean Costello
Colby's Peer Music Survey......................Colby Gibson
A Game Review..................................Karsten Propper
Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff

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Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN

We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
information in our publication.  We assume no responsibility for
damage due to errors, omissions, etc.  The liability,if any for BTN, its
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions,
etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
of such damages occurring.

With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles.  We publish
monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
publication.  If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
in a particular issue.  It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
content of the articles prepared by our writers.  Our writers own their
work and it is protected by copyright.  We allow reprinting of articles
from BTN with only a few restrictions.  The author may object to a
reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
article's original title are retained.  If you use one of our articles,
please forward a copy of your publication to:

Mark Maisel
Editor, BTN
221 Chestnut St.
BHM, AL 35210-3219

We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
you like it.  We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
all of this and not get too serious about it.

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                           N E W S  F L A S H

If you have any news, especially you sysops, that you want to get out to
the readership of this august publication, let me know and it will be
placed in this space.  MM

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         F R E E B I E :  G E T  I T  W H I L E  I T S  H O T !

The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no
charge to any existing upload/download ratios.

The Connection          LZ Birmingham           Alter-Ego
Channel 8250            Bus System              Joker's Castle
Crunchy Frog            Myth Drannor            Posys BBS

If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let
me know via EzNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN
distributor.  Thanks.

MM

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Editorial
by Mark Maisel, sort of

     I hope that all of you who attended our most recent party have
recuperated.  Those of you who did not attend don't know what you
missed.  It was great fun.  As always, it was nice to see old friends
and make new ones as we do at every party.

     Other than the party, I really don't have a whole lot to say this
time around so I will be brief.

     If you have something to say and would like to use this editorial
column as a means of doing it, please let me know and perhaps we can
accomodate you.  Hell, we let Dean do it so you know it can't be that
difficult.

     Next on the agenda is a letter from a columnist soon, we hope, to
be a regular and long lasting feature writer for us here at BTN.  Please
address your mail to me on EZNet, MetroNet Netchat, or Crunchy Frog BBS.


         Hi, all you happy and unhappy people;

         I don't know if everyone is like me, but since I spend lots
         of time on my computer and in school I don't have time to
         read the papers.  So I have decided to put a bit of the
         papers into BTN.  I don't mean the news, as we all argue that
         in the conferences on the various networks, but to add a
         little lively question and answer column.

         Just say hello to Mary M., that's me, hopefully I'll become
         the "Dear Abby" of the computer set.  I don't know everything
         and won't even try to pretend that I do.  What I'd like is to
         answer questions on whatever subjects you all can come up
         with.

         You need help in your love life, out of your love life, with
         your computer, modem and just about anything.  I will try to
         come up with answers.  With some computer and BBS problems, I
         will find the people to give the answers. On your life (love)
         I will try to come up with answers.

         This will not be a completely serious column.  You want to
         trip me up go ahead.  I usually can come up with a joke for
         just about anything. I even have a better cure for a hangover
         than a "royal sieve".  Be adventurous people, give me your
         questions. Let's get some interesting reading for light
         entertainment going.

         Keep in mind that everyone needs to have problems solved, and
         just to have fun.  That's what this column is for me.  I want
         to have fun, learn new things, and be able to entertain
         people.

         GIVE ME QUESTIONS, PLEASE !!!!

         Thanks and good computing;
         Mary M.

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Top Ten Things Overheard At The BTN Halloween Party
by Tyros

10.  "There it is again!  Do you hear that thumping upstairs?"

9.  "Excuse me, sir - routine FBI neighborhood software piracy check.
     May we come in?"

8.  "Wait a minute - you're not my wife!"

7.  "Hey baby, let's blow this joint and hit an Omelette Shoppe."

6.  "Hi, I'm Satan!!  Ha ha, just kidding."

5.  "Tell Mark that I'm not falling for it this time."

4.  "Say pal, where are all the chicks?"

3.  "Everyone, guess who I'm supposed to be!  No, come on, guess!"

2.  "So which one's Dean Costello?"

1.  "GOOD EVENING, HUMANS.  I AM *THE MATRIX* - AND YOU ARE ALL MY
     PRISONERS."

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Review: Silly Little Mail Reader (SLMR 1.0), Offline Mail Reader
by Steven Wheeler

     After subtle hints from my wife ("Are you gonna stay on that
computer all night?") and good-natured ribbing from our illustrious (?)
editor concerning the time I spent online, it seemed like a good time
to try out one of the offline mail readers.  At the time, the choices
were EZReader and ..... well, EZReader.  So of course I downloaded it
from one of the local boards and muddled through the excruciating task
of FINALLY configuring it to run, somewhat.  Then one day along came a
tagline that said "SLMR 1.0" and curiosity overcame me.  After questioning
the author of the message I was allowed a copy of SLMR, with the
condition that I write this review.  So here it is!  Nothing's free
anymore!  Remember this for later reference.

     SLMR was astoundingly fast on the donor's system.  But I kept in
mind that he is running a 386 and I'm still using a prehistoric 10 mhz
XT clone.  So my hopes weren't exceptionally high.  But it was new and I
always like to at least try out new software.  Upon returning home I
plopped into my chair, unzipped SLMR to my machine and scrolled through
the documentation.  "Oh boy!  Comical, lighthearted docs.  This should be
REAL GOOD," I thought sarcastically.  Much to my chagrin, and delight,
it took about five minutes to configure SLMR.  It would have taken less
if I had only remembered to include a complete path to my editor.  So
far, so good.

     Now for the good stuff.  SLMR is for use with .QWK packets created
by the Qmail and MarkMail doors for PCBoard and other .QWK compatible
systems.  Just a few of the features are:

     * THE fastest mail reader around!  -- Much faster than EZReader.

     * Easy to install, configure and use. -- Take it from a numbskull.

     * Built-in mouse support. -- I don't have one so I'll take their
       word for this.

     * LAN compatible/DesqView aware. -- See above.

     * Auto-detects video mode, with mono, CGA, 43 line EGA and 50 line
       VGA support. -- Did notice a problem with snow on my CGA, but not
       enough to make me not want to use SLMR.  The configuration program
       includes an option for suppressing snow, but I've had previous
       problems with my CGA and can't attribute it to SLMR.

     * Swaps to disk or EMS to save memory when running external
       programs. -- Again, I'll take their word for this.

     * Unlimited number of taglines, up to 57 characters each. --
       EZReader is limited to 50 taglines.

     * Add, edit, delete or steal taglines "on the fly". -- I love it.
       No tagline is safe.  Plagiarism raise thy ugly head.

     * Automatic screen pauses for Welcome Files.

     * Scrollable Bulletins and New File lists.

     * "Animated" text displays for color ANSI messages and Welcome
       screens.

     * Prompts user to delete replies older than current .QWK packet.

     * Delete or rename packets from main menu. -- Great if you like to
       save your mail packets.

     * Configurable .QWK and .REP directories, or select any drive or
       subdirectory from main menu.

     * Access to unlimited number of mail packets.

     * Allows "Personal" directories for reply packets if more than one
       person uses SLMR on your computer. -- Now I've just got to teach
       my wife how to use the MarkMail door.  SLMR will be a breeze!
       The hardest part will be creating new directories for our mail
       packets.

     * Pick Lists (Piglets) for text search strings, message subject,
       taglines, conference or file save/view. -- Use F2 key.

     * Context-sensitive help available at any point with F1 key.

     * Uses your own text editor or word processor (includes TED.COM if
       you don't already have a favorite).

     * Automatically loads text of message you're replying to into
       editor, with "quoting" -- simply delete unneeded text, add your
       reply and save the message.

     * Edit or kill replies easily.  Deleted messages are NOT included
       in a reply packet. -- I had one heck of a time deleting replies
       with EZReader.

     * Automatically prompts for recovery of unarchived replies in case
       of a system crash.

     * User-definable "hot keys" to execute other programs from within
       SLMR.

     * Re-sorts messages by subject (default), number, sender and
       addressee.

     In short, SLMR is the fastest and easiest offline mail reader I've
seen.  All that is necessary to use SLMR is to make a subdirectory
for SLMR, extract the files into it and type SLMR <CR>.  Hit <ALT> C to
configure, F1 for help screens and F10 to save the settings.  SLMR is so
simple that the documents that accompany it are really not necessary.
But for those that just love to read documents and burn up printer
ribbon and paper there are documents included.  You really should read
the docs, they're quite amusing.

     Just about everything is user configurable: editor, colors,
directories, taglines, packers, macros (F3 thru F9) and picklists
(or Piglets as they are affectionately referred to).

     Picklists are available in a number of places where choices are
offered by pressing F2.  Often SLMR automatically adds other items to
the picklist, such as the original author of a message in the TOLIST or
a newly created TAGLINE.  SLMR is the first to offer Exploding Piglet
Technology as a standard item.  If "Stupid Windows" are enabled, via
configuration, the Piglets will explode and create arcade type noises.
Otherwise they're quiet and behave nicely.  The following are some of
SLMR's Exploding Piglets:

     Taglines -- list of taglines, no limit.
     Tolist -- list of people to whom you frequently send messages.
          This is like EZReader's address book, which is only available
          on registered versions.
     Subjlist -- list of favorite topics and "control message" topics
          for offline configuration of your mail door.
     Findlist -- list of 'FIND' keywords.
     Savelist -- save messages to a text file and view during mail
          reading session.

     A feature I especially like is that SLMR enables you to edit the
FROM: field when entering messages or replies.  This is useful if you
use your real name on a board but also use the POOF door found on many
boards to leave nasty messages under an alias.  Most mail doors will
NOT allow you to upload replies not from the person currently logged on
unless you are the Sysop.

     In my opinion, the biggest improvement is that SLMR is not limited
to 200 messages per conference.  EZReader would go haywire if there was
more than 200 messages in a conference.  And this is not unusual for
some of the national echoes.  SLMR does not have this problem.  So if
you frequent some of the national echoed conferences, you definitely
need SLMR.

     The only problem I have with SLMR is that my source gave me sole
distribution rights locally.  Now do I take his advice and withhold it
until I get some good offers or do I go ahead and upload it to the local
boards?  Do I hear anyone out there begging and willing to barter?

     SLMR 1.0 is fully functional "Shareware" from Greg Hewgill and
Technique Computer Systems.  Registration is $20.  Add $2 if you would
like it on 3-1/2" diskette.

     The bottom line is that SLMR is the best thing since zippers or
edible underwear, take your pick.  If you're using any other offline
mail reader (and I'm sure you are) you're in the Stone Age.

     Presently I only know of two people in the Birmingham area that
have it and I'm one of them. (NYAH, NYAH, NYAH.)  Anybody got a spare
Mercedes they want to trade?

     Seriously though (?), watch for it on your favorite local board
soon.  But don't hold your breath.  I think I feel a greedy streak
coming.

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BTN/Matrix Halloween Party Wrap
by Tricky Dick

     "Hey Tricky, how was the party?"

     Well...............

     O.K. folks, the party's over (done, fin, history), the street
sweepers and the riot police are gone. Birmingham is safe once again,
well at least till the next party.

     If you missed the party, SHAME ON YOU. But in all fairness (and a
little baiting to entice you to come to the NEXT one), I'll tell you a
bit about it.

     Lessee now, when I arrived, I was greeted on the porch by a Teddy
Kennedy with Mary Jo (Jeff Freeman and his wife) at his side, passing
out money. Another Rev., Dean Costello (Cardinal, Pope, God, whatever)
was passing out advice, which fortunately was ignored by all. On the
porch swing was a two-headed pumpkin that had consumed Sid and Michelle
Browning (wonder what the other two hands were doing inside the
costume....).  Somebody said it was a shame we couldn't see more of
Michelles' legs?  Is `dat true, Michelle?

     Scattered inside the house and out were the occasional "plain
faces", those who did not wear a costume, a few of which were Kim,
Julie, Rose, and others. Masks and noses were provided at the door for
those who had forgotten their costume. Ooops! sorry, didn't notice the
guys too much. Inside I was greeted by a walking Wall (really!! I'm not
drunk) played by a very cool Marlin "Stoneface" Johnson; he even had
paint cans so you could add your own graffiti! There sat the "Crunhcy
Frog" herself! Kathy, you look mah-velous in green with big google eyes!

     Venturing toward the kitchen I met a Satyr (Steve Wheeler) a
Leopard (Kathy Wheeler), a Priest (the immortal Rocky Rawlins himself!)
and even Commander Riker with a lovely lady from the past (Lee and
Maggie Harden). Maggie, dear, LOVED the scenery. Lee put that Phaser
down!

     Uh-oh!  Look!  A belly dancer and her sheik (Lady Aurora and Mike
Tyner), with a gen-u-ine jewel in her navel (just admiring the Jewel
sir, please put that scimitar down!). And there's Cleopatra with a
feather mask and a werewolf stalking her (Brenda and Randall Dickerson).
Randall, is that werewolf makeup or have you been playing with
radioactive recombinant DNA back at the lab?

     Among many others were Arthur Jarrett and Kelly Rosato; as what I'm
not sure. But guys I loved your masks, they were REALLY gruesome
<snark>. The control room of this party ship stayed quite crowded with
young`uns and old`uns watching and playing computer games, and watching
folks call in to the Matrix. If you called during that time, I hope you
didn't have anything you wanted kept private, `cause it ain't private no
more!! Some of these local lurkers included Colby Gibson (a walking
bbs), and Matt Albritton (a mad, I'm sure, doctor).

     Oh, yes, around the refreshments (hic) was the Joker from Jokers'
Castle and his LadyBird friend (Joe and Connie Kearley). A chimney sweep
(Wayne Boshell) and Lisa Richards as Priestess of the Dark in a long red
cloak.  Jet Thomas was literally lit up for the party with his costume.
It was a crown of lights in his hair.  If we had experienced a power
failure, he would have been very popular.  Randy Hilliard showed up as
our resident biker type.  The refreshment table had a, well, um, let's
just say it was a LARGE and UNUSUAL centerpiece (this is a PG
newsletter). If you really want to know, ask somebody who was there.
Also ask them how it got cleaned up when some dip splattered on it.  Dr.
EBCDIC graced our presence later on in the evening as a Horny Little
Devil (we knew THAT!). Claimed he had stumbled into the wrong party by
mistake and stayed for an hour, yea sure!

     Then the rest of the Georgia crew breezed in, KE-VIN Buchan (the
neo-nazi ridgehead) with his party partner Neville (Dracula). Rev. Gary
Hasty arrived as the painter Salvador Dali with his friend Lisa done up
as his artistic canvas. The lithe and very lovely Lisa promptly found
the couch and communed with the sandman while others communed with
recently departed spirits (Jack Daniels among others, many many
others!).

     Ty Ros (or was that Kelly) fired up a Barbecue grill in the front
yard, causing some worry as to whether they were going to sacrifice a
computer (not to mention questions of their sanity,it was cold out
there!). But it was determined that they were all computer nuts, not
computer wizards, so the sacrifice was off. They then opted to grill
steaks.

     Even later (!) breezed in Richard Foshee as a security guard. He
looked so authentic!!  And a lovely Morticia arrived with her warlock
(Lisa Patterson and Patrick McCain) who blessed us around 1 or 2 a.m.
with fresh pizzas!

     Several others were there that I did not get the chance to chat
with; *Kim (who was she with), the "bag lady" with the label "white
trash" on her, a Chef, and many others. The most enigmatic costume of
all was worn by a pygmy, he came dressed as a giant Holland lop-eared
bunny, about 20 inches long and very furry.  He sat in the cage all
night long, even ate rabbit food (yeesh!), and had the act down pat! You
can't fool me fella (hic), I'll find out who you are eventually!

     There were also alleged sightings of many outrageous costumes,
giant pink bunnys, blue snakes, miniature elephants, etc. but only very
late in the evening. Do we have any pictures of these???? We kept our
eyes peeled for "Red Neckerson, software pirate" and Mark Maisel
captured him when he tried to sneak into the sacred Matrix Room for some
heavy duty file copying.  After he was caught, he agreed to finally give
up his evil ways and start anew.  There was much rejoicing, among other
things.

     And of course, the infamous "BTN .GIFs" were on constant display
for everyones' amusement/embarrassment. Those who were unfortunate
enough to be caught by Tom "Country Boy" Egan's' roving camera will be
in the next set of GIFs. His faithful scout for these nefarious photos,
I might add, was his lovely Indian guide, Gail "Pocahontas" Egan.

     To those I missed at the party, I apologize. To any I embarrassed
by writing about you, if you want to get even write the next column
about the Christmas party!

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Birmingham On Less Than One Dollar Per Day (Minus Gasoline)
by Tyros

     Birmingham may not be the most interesting city to live in or even
to visit, but in my opinion, one could still call it tolerable.  This
city exists just one shade safe of being completely mundane, on a thin
line between the valleys of torpid and lively.  However, like most
aspects of life, living here requires money, a curious but vital part of
the personal portfolio that few of us ever seem to have enough of,
myself in particular.  My own personal poverty has grown to be the stuff
of near-legend, getting more proverbial with each passing day that I
spend stomping the hot streets in search of a steady job.  However,
there are pearls to be gleaned from even the most homely looking oyster,
and as such, my experience has provided me with certain tips and
techniques that can be used to somewhat dull the painful money crunch,
if not wipe out a decent-sized swath of it.  And so, here are a few
invaluable ideas, semi-precious nuggets of financial wisdom, that you,
the hapless consumer, might find useful in simply living from day to day
without dying of boredom or starvation.

     LOW-BUDGET SOFT DRINKS

     Let's start off with a simple yet almost unknown idea to beat the
rising cost of carbonated cola.  Tired of paying fifty cents, sixty
cents, or <gasp> MORE at the vending machine for something that really,
honestly, cannot be called anything more charitable than "junk food"?
Take a trip to your local supermarket.  There's an entire aisle devoted
to soft drinks of every color and persuasion, and we may delight in the
secret knowledge that not ALL of them cost two bucks for a 3-liter
plastic jug - in fact, here there is caffeinated and non-caffeinated
consummation for almost any price range.  The bottom of the ladder is
Vess brand cola.  Vess comes in nearly every flavor imaginable, and
remarkably enough, you can find it for only 18 cents per twelve-ounce
can, if you look.  (That's one dollar for a six-pack, mohicans.) As you
might expect, the taste of the drink is not the highlight of this
thrifty venture, but you really can't tell the difference between low
and high brow colas if you're thirsty enough, trust me.  And, if your
tastes lean towards root beer, virtually ALL root beers taste enough
alike to make no nevermind. Vess drinks also profess to be sodium-free,
unlike Pepsi and the rest.  If you've got a few extra pennies jingling
merrily in your pocket, you might want to splurge a little more and go
for slightly costlier alternatives - Faygo and the ever venerable Shasta
are swell options, and are not only noticeably tastier, but also line
the shelves in a fantastic rainbow of flavors like Vess.  Faygo also
comes in snazzy-looking 16-ounce glass bottles, which, like their
12-ounce aluminum brothers, are also wonderfully inexpensive, at about a
quarter a pop.

     HIGH CULTURE, ABSOLUTELY FREE

     The thrifty entertainment seeker may not know much about art, but
he always knows what he likes, and there's something for nearly everyone
to like at the Birmingham Museum of Art.  The best part about this
particular bit of penny-pinching, friends, is that it takes no pennies
at all, much less any pinching.  The museum's doors do not discriminate
on the rich, poor, smug, humble or even funny-looking - nor is there a
time limit, and let's face it, the number of places in the city you can
stand for hours at a time absolutely freely are getting fewer and fewer.
Then there is the art.  Of course, there are down sides to anything
free; you may not find much to enrapture you at the museum if you don't
like looking at interesting or pretty things, and there IS a closing
time.  But the place is big, it's air-conditioned, it's crammed full of
neat stuff to look at, and it's absolutely positively free.

     AT-HOME EATING

     Normally, for the purposes of this article, I would frown on
mentioning anything that you can do at home and is therefore probably
already obvious.  However, there is an exception that I still hold to be
a classic in its own time: the homemade sandwich.  When you go to the
deli or sandwich shop, a sandwich can cost as much as three to four
dollars - and imagine your chagrin when you receive your order sitting
pertly on a small paper plate using the SAME kind of square boring white
bread you can get at home, which is the case in many delis.  The
solution, then, is to hit your friendly grocery store again, and snap up
a loaf of supermarket-brand bread.  It's as good as any other kind, and
they usually slap it with a 65-cent sticker, a factor which simply can't
be beat upon.  Add to that, small cheap containers of peanut butter,
jelly, mayonnaise, mustard and/or a little lunch meat, if you're feeling
extravagant - and you have the makings for over ten or eleven
sandwiches, all for a few measley green slips.  That translates to about
thirty cents per sandwich, a price that you'll appreciate even more
while you're wolfing these things down to the tasty trickle of
neighborhood tap water - in itself, one of nature's truly miraculous
bargains, if you have other family members to pay the bill.

     LIBRARY DAYS

     If you don't feel up to standing or walking around all day at the
museum - which you may well not, having stomped the sidewalk beforehand
- try the Birmingham Public Library.  Like its canvass- chocked
counterpart, the Library is completely free, and is located in the heart
of downtown.  Here too, you can while away hours and hours without being
told to get lost, unless it's to be lost within the pages of an
absorbing book or periodical.  Yes, this is a treasure trove for people
who like to read magazines but hate to buy them, subscribe to them, or
hang around newsstands.  Although the Library's organization is not the
best, all the major magazines are here, and a darn sight many of the
minor ones too - all sitting on the shelf waiting to be read and
enjoyed.  After you finish your magazines, look up books on the
library's neat computerized catalog system - it's an easy and engrossing
way to spend the afternoon. Special tip: no drinks are allowed in the
library, but there IS free water to be found at fountains stationed on
each floor.  As an aside, if you're a news fiend and like to KEEP the
paper you read, newspapers are still astoundingly cheap - a quarter for
the local daily, fifty cents for USA Today - and you can help the
environment by recycling the newspaper you buy.  The Library also allows
you to apply for a card, virtually free of charge last time I checked,
which will allow you to check out items and hoot with enjoyment at them
within the comfort of your own home, for an unprecedented interval of
THREE weeks, as of October 1, 1989.  And, there is one additional
advantage that I am coming to:

     CITY PARKING

     It is hard to find parking spots downtown, especially around
noontime when the average poor person is wont to wander listlessly -
however, if you're accustomed to wandering listlessly, take heart:
Library parking is completely and utterly free.  No meters, no dollar
fees, no surly checkbooth officials - just a friendly-looking man in a
badge who smiles at you as you drive triumphantly through the parking
lot perimeter.  You can easily get away with parking here for nearly
anything you need to do in the downtown area, and even if the man is
still smiling at you - just walk into the library and directly back out
the other side, then go about your own business.  If it's a nice warm
day, you can easily appreciate the splendor of Birmingham's downtown
area as you traverse the blocks and sidewalks, beaming all the while in
the satisfaction that no coin left your pocket when you left your
vehicle.  And you will ALWAYS remember where you parked.

     AGHAST AT GAS

     Once you learn to take in free entertainment from around the city,
your main concern so far as money goes will shift from admission to
transportation.  We're all feeling the current pinch, but those of us
with less money are being pinched a little closer to the bone, and it
doesn't feel too pleasurable.  Unfortunately, there are not any really
nifty tricks you can use to save money on fuel, short of laying siege to
the local mom-and-pop filling station after midnight and cutting the
pump-chains with acetylene, but there are small things that you can do
that help a lot more than they hurt.  Of course, you should always be on
the lookout for places that charge less by the gallon.  Persuade your
favorite radio station to freely advertise the most inexpensive place
they know of - this is a tactic that has worked in the past.  Careful
with your own car - jackrabbit starts use more gas, and idling should be
avoided too.  If possible, use a relative or friend's car that gets
better mileage - or best of all, pool it.  The friendly man in the
Texaco cap can give you more pointers on how to conserve that smelly
stuff once you get to the station.  Beware, though - snacks and colas at
service stations are notoriously more expensive than similar goods at
regular stores. Shop around for such things - and in this hot weather,
be on the lookout for stations whose banners advertise low prices for
fountain drinks. If you simply can't live without your favorite name
brand of soft drink, fountain drinks are a fantastic bargain, and taste
for taste, ounce for ounce, beat even the low-level canned stuff at the
store.

     GUERILLA CINEMA

     One of the biggest economic contradictions in this town is the
price of going to the movies.  If you go at night, it's going to cost
you $5.25, which, while being well below what most Americans pay for
their moviegoing enjoyment, is still a darn sight expensive here.
However, there exists at most theatres an AFTERNOON matinee, at which
you can watch the same movies, in the same theatre, with even less of a
crowd, for only three dollars.  An incredible bargain, especially when
one considers that all you have to do to save the money is get out of
your house a couple hours earlier.  If three lousy dollars is STILL out
of bounds as far as your budget is concerned, take heart - if you're
willing to brave the Friday night sociophiles and the lateness of the
hour, your movie enjoyment may be afforded you as low a price as
95-cents.  This is due to one of the saving graces of a local radio
station, which sponsers the cheapo cinema on Friday at midnight.  This
amazing deal is available at the Galleria 10 and at the Festival 12.
There is one catch, however - at each theater, there is only one movie
specified for the 95-cent deal, and it's usually one that's been in
release for some time.  The cunning consumer can circumvent this
obstacle, however, by purchasing a 95-cent ticket for the sponsered
movie - and walking, instead, into another movie of your choice.  It's
not entirely ethical, but then again, neither is poverty, and who says
the despondent movie-lover has to suffer when he can see the feature
film of his choice for only a little pocket change.  Tip:  Never never
buy concession stand refreshments.  The prices are so outrageously high
that even the well-off theater patrons don't like it.  Instead, eat
before you go, or, as a last resort, smuggle food or drink inside a
roomy jacket pocket.

     These are just a few of the ways that I save money keeping myself
entertained on the streets of Birmingham; anyone that possesses the
merest iota of creativity, inventiveness or just plain adaptability will
surely be able to come up with many more, until that glorious day when
we are once again on our financial feet again.  Until that triumphant
moment arrives, Be Thrifty.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

ProFile
by Chris Mohney

     The ProFile is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to
various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.
Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the
notorious Hat.  Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may
petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris
Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect.  Anyone who wishes to
suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their
knowledge may take the same route....

(Yet another one of our Metronet brothers from Georgia comes in from
 the cold this month ... )


---------

       Pro File on  EDWIN MILLON

---------

Age: 17

Birthplace: Dalton, GA

Occupation: Student

My hobbies include: (Edwin left this blank.  Draw your own conclusions.)

Years telecomputing: 4 months

Sysop, past/present/future of: Co-Sysop of Carpet Capital BBS

My oddest habit is: Banging my head on the wall

My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: To play Varsity Basketball

The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is: Learning to
 use computers (especially modems)

My favorite performers are: Slaughter, Nelson, Giant, Faith No More

The last good movie I saw was: Young Guns II

The last good book I read was: Clear and Present Danger

If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played
 by: Corey Feldman

My pet peeves are: People who think anyone with a 4.0 are nerds!!!

When nobody's looking, I like to: (Not answer questions, apparently.
 Edwin left this one blank as well.  One must assume that whatever Edwin
 does when nobody's looking is so hideous that it defies translation
 into ASCII.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Why I Compute
By Dean Costello                                  Exclusive to BTN



     As many of you probably know, I am fairly active on a couple of the
local boards here in Birmingham.  I know more than a couple people have
come up to me and ask me why I fool with it.  My brother, for instance,
has more than once asked me to 'get a life', since if I spend this much
time with my computer, something must be fundamentally wrong.

     As of the present, I have been able to dodge the slings and arrows
of bastard siblings, uncomprehending parents, unimpressed friends and
associates, etc.  So, a good question here is that being that I have
become quite the pariah over my use of the modem and such, why do I
continue to fool with it?

     Well, there are several reasons.  Briefly listed, they are
enjoyment, curiosity, and it beats boredom.  There are probably a number
of other reasons why I fool with it, but I think the above couple are
primary reasons.

     In person, I am usually a fairly quiet person by nature.  But one
of the things that I like about BBSs in particular is that you don't
have the shield of body language, or sloppy speaking ability, or
whatever.  What you type is what the other person sees, and you cannot
put a spin on what they are seeing.  This was very liberating for me,
since that was one of the big problems I have in associating with 'real'
people; that I need to take so much time deciphering what they really
mean when they say something.

     And there is no way around it.  I have enjoyed this national
reputation that I have generated in the last year or so.  I called into
a board in Washington, D.C. last weekend (the cosysop there gave me an
account, and so I figured I should at least log on). Imagine my surprise
to find that one of the message threads had my name as the subject.
That is one of those things that you just don't see very much.  I get a
visceral thrill out of seeing things like that.  Like when I was reading
the stuff in the sysop's conference right here in Birmingham, I was
surprised to find out that I was mentioned at a fairly regular interval.
Just things like that, I suppose.  Since my stay in Birmingham is
probably going to be temporary, it kind of makes me feel happy inside to
know that I probably won't be referred to in 1992 as, "Let me think for
a sec...Dean COSTELLO?  Hmm, didn't he run one of those WWIV boards a
couple of years back?"  I think it was Oscar Wilde that said, "The only
thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

     Another factor of the enjoyment (other than reading messages about
me) is to exchange messages with other people.  For example, I have been
involved in a number of gun control debates.  About the only thing that
they have done is to sharpen my debating abilities.  I always get a kick
out of people that ask me how many debate classes I have taken (none, so
there).  But there is still that enjoyment about strapping on the
metaphorical armour, breaking out the rhetorical Blade of Slashing Logic
(Randy Hilliard's creation, I believe; that and the Chainsaw of
Illogical Argument Crushing, but that is another story, or at least
would take another couple of paragraphs).  When I was at my peak of
debating, I always had at hand on my desk a Bible, an Almanac, a Guiness
Book of World Records, the complete scripts to all of the Monty Python
shows, a Toxicology book, a Merck Index (a book that has most of the
more common chemicals that one would run into, and what they can do to
you), a vertebrate anatomy book, a parasitology book, and The Modern
Man's Guide To Life (A book of all the stuff that an uncle should have
taught you, but didn't quite get).

     The other extreme is probably what is seen on Crunchy Frog, the
Anarchist's Board.  A nice place to drop your logical debating
abilities, and just say (relatively) clever things, insult the piss out
of people, or whatever.  I was feeling particularly abrasive one fine
day (right after the BBS article came out, BHM News), and a new person
was on.  An exchange between he and Arthur Jarrett commenced, something
about the newboy saying something stupid, Arthur replying that he
doesn't fool with virgins, and to take your sexual inadequacies
elsewhere.  Newboy replied with something snotty to Arthur, and I
replied to Newboy, "I'd take care of your virginity.  I will gouge out
your eyes and skull (euphemism for mate) you."  Ahh, one of my better
repartier shots, I feel.

     On to curiosity.  I have always had a desire to know things.
Everything.  Just about anything.  So, one of the things that I have
gotten out of the BBSs is a lot of neat arcane data. Especially from
some of the echoes on Randy's board.  I learn a fair amount out of those
things.  Of course, you have to seperate the wheat from the completely
wrong, but no problem.  I just subject the new datum to my Graduate
Student Qualitative/ Quantitative Suspicious New Fact Checker, and away
we go.  And if you factor in the OLS (On-Line Services, like CompuServe,
Delphi, GEnie), there is access to all kinds of things.  Especially
something called Dialog, which gives me access to hundreds of databases
that are mostly science-related.  Unfortunately, it costs a fair amount,
like $400/hour, depending on the database being accessed and the time.

     We now come to the last subject, boredom.  I have not had anything
substantial to do in more than a year.  Without these BBSs to call, I
would have slit a wrist by this stage.  Cinemax can only do so much, you
know.  I have actually been involved in the BBS scene in Birmingham for
about 2 years.  When I first arrived down here, I had a list of
Birmingham boards to call, so I tried them out.  I remember having an
account on Point of No Return, Michele Cahoon's board, to give you an
idea of my time here.  I think it was on Bill Freeman's board that I
started to experiment.  That is where I discovered Doors (well, only
ProDoor at the time, and that didn't really help me much at the time),
but I hadn't discovered the beauty of messages at the time.  I also
discovered conferences on Bill's board.
  
     Well then, with my new-found power, I started calling other boards,
including Ziggy's (where I first read BTN, I remember reading a column
by Ron Albright, and then I decided it was too cerebral for me at the
time), from which I got Channel 8250 and Bus Station.  When I discovered
that BBSs had other BBSs...ahh, life was full.  So anyway, I called 8250
and J(oin)-ed a conference.  And what conferences they had.  The first
one that I delved into was the religion conference.  I read about 100
messages to get the feel for the place.  And then it happened.  I left
my first message.  It was to All, I believe, asking about
predestination.  Imagine my surprise when I got back a message! Yes,
somebody replied to me!  This is great!  So I read the message.  It was
from someone named Sysop (well, I knew that Sysop was a system operator,
since I was one of those on my college Vax 11/780).  And he addressed my
subject, also.

     I was blown out of the water.

     I couldn't believe this...this...this TREATISE that someone left
me.  It was about 4 screen-fulls, and it hit everything.  He talked
about the different ideologies and philosophies, he compared and
contrasted different belief systems, he even quoted Thomas Aquinas.

     Needless to say, I thought that this was not good, being that I was
definitely overclassed, undereducated, and outgunned there. And that was
the last message I ever left for about 6 months, I would say.  By this
time, I needed something, though.  It was summer '89, and I was bored
out of my skull.  So I started up again.  Started reading some messages
on Tim S.'s board.  A bunch of people were talking about how wonderful
it was to be packing heat, bopping down the street "8-feet tall and
covered with hair" (Randy Hilliard).  This just would not do, so I
injected my opinion in and waited...

     Well, I found out that 8250 was apparently the anomaly, since I was
cursed at, abused, insulted, etc. for those views.  And then things have
kind of gotten carried away from there.  One last reminiscence, and I
will leave you.  One night I was on Crunchy Frog deep in the middle of
the abortion debate, when all of the sudden the screen freezes for a
moment, and a message snapped up saying something like, 'Break out the
beer, here's Monty!'.  Hello, what's this?  Come to find out, Mark
Maisel, whom I was trading comments about Bang & Oluffsen equipment in
the Listener's Conference was asking for me to drop by the house.  Well,
I thought, why not.  So, after getting directions, I made it there,
where I found out who Monty was, and other arcane factoids.

     And the Birmingham Telecommunication Scene (and me) have never been
the same.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Colby's Peer Music Survey
by Colby Gibson

     Recently, at my school, the President and the Principal decided
that they would run a little survey to see what the teens there listened
to and what groups thereof.

     Surprisingly, the survey also included several questions about how
many R rated movies you had see in the past month, past 2 months, etc.

     There were various and sundry replies, and one of the most popular
Rap bands was, of course, the 2 Live Crew.
        
 
     I decided to run a little survey around myself about what music the
student body liked and what bands thereof. By far, they were more open
with me than they were with the school survey. Listed below are the
results of the poll. I interviewed 15-20 people and classified the music
type liked and bands in that category.

     Metal (All sorts)
------------------------------------
There were 5 people in this category.

Bands listed with number of votes.
 
Metallica       2       Death Angel     1
Anthrax         2       Bon Jovi        1
Iron Maiden     2       Motley Crue     1
Megadeth        1       Poison          1
Testament       1       Warrant         1
The Cult        1       Skid Row        1
Slaughter       1
    
     I am quite sure that some of these people are unaware of what Heavy
Metal actually is, for Poison isn't. But, this is right from the poll
sheet.
   
     Hard Rock
------------------------------------
There were 3 people in this category.
 
Bon Jovi        2       Motley Crue     2
Slaughter       2       Skid Row        2
INXS            1
   
     The results are better, but I hardly think INXS is hard rock.

     Rap
------------------------------------
There were 6 people in this category.

The 2 Live Crew 4       Eazy E          3
Public Enemy    3       N.W.A.          4
Vanilla Ice     4       Bell Biv Devoe  1
Kyper           1       M.C. Ric        1
Eric B. & Rakin 1
   
     The one entitled "M.C. Ric" was one of the people themselves. This
guy is a part time rapper that performs with his friends for nobody but
themselves. He sits in class and writes raps.
   
     Old Rock
------------------------------------
There were 2 people in this category.
   
The Beatles     3       Rolling Stones  2
Dire Straits    1       Pixies          1
Steve Miller Band  1
     
     Pop/Dance
------------------------------------
There were 3 people in this category.
  
Information Society 2   Janet Jackson   3
Paula Abdul  1
New Kids on the Block 1
Bobby Brown  1          Bell Biv Devoe  1

     I should have erased the New Kids from the page.


     Overall, there are MANY different tastes in the music world. I was
disturbed by the fact that Aerosmith and Madonna weren't even mentioned.
    

     Hopefully in the next issue of BTN, I'll be able to review
serparate albums of popular bands and tell background information about
them.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A Game Review by
Karsten Propper

     The Kingdom of Kroz II, sequel to the well-known Kingdom of Kroz,
is your typical ANSI graphic game. It takes after the old Rogue game, or
the newer version, Moria. In this game, you are a smiley face who moves
around various level of a dungeon. Sound easy? Well, the geniuses who
made the game have put a variety of monsters to block your path and stop
all the fun that you seem to be having.

     The monsters come in three different formats. Monsters which steal
only one gem, monsters which steal two, or monsters that steal three.
When you have no more gems to be stolen, the monsters will then take
your life. Gems may be collected in various parts of a screen.

     When you have finished collecting the many things that are in the
dungeon, you find the stairs and take them. They will take you to a new
level in the dungeon. Things which may be collected include whips, gems,
spells, chests, keys, rings, tablets, etc.

     The game, being in ANSI graphics, needs only a a color monitor.
When you boot up the game, it will ask to select a Color or Monochrome
format. Then, it asks you whether your computer is slow or fast. It will
then take that information to adjust the speed of the game.

     After you have completed all levels, you may ask if there are any
more great games such as this one. Well, yes, there are. Sequels are
Kingdom of Kroz I, Caverns of Kroz, Dungeons of Kroz, Return to Kroz,
Temple of Kroz, and the Final Crusade (Thank God) of Kroz.

     The author asks that you send him $7.50 for this wonderful find, or
all six of the games may be purchased for $35.00. The game may be found
on the Matrix under #1KROZ2.ZIP.

     I actually found myself enjoying this game after a few days of
serious playing. The style and graphics tend to annoy me after that
period of time. However, if you are looking for something to pass the
time for a few days, I would suggest this game. If you are looking for a
game that will satisfy you for a few months, I'd suggest something else.
As for the sequels, I think that I would get sick of hearing Kroz, much
less anything close to the same spelling, such as Boz, Froz, Sloz, etc.

     Finally, the author describes the sequels to you so that you may
choose which Kroz is the best for you. Here are his descriptions.

- Caverns of Kroz - The first discovery of Kroz.
- Dungeons of Kroz - The dark side of Kroz. Fast paced action.
- Kingdom of Kroz I - National best game contest winner in 1988.
- Return to Kroz - Discovery of all new underground chambers.
- Temple of Kroz - Bizarre side of Kroz. Nothing is what it seems.
- Final Crusade of Kroz - The surprising finish?

     If there is any Sysop that has any of the above games on his BBS,
please leave me, Karsten Propper, mail on The Matrix or Crunchy Frog. I
have a vague interest in reviewing those games.



-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area

    NAME                    NUMBER     BAUD RATES  MODEM    BBS SOFTWARE
                                       SUPPORTED   TYPE

*   Alter-Ego BBS           925-0707   300-2400             ProBBS/ProDoor
*   American BBS            674-1851   300-2400             PC Board 14.5
*   Bus System BBS          595-1627   300-2400             PC Board 14.2
*   Byte Me!                979-BYTE!  9600        HST/V.42 WWIV 4.07
    Camelot BBS             856-0679   300-2400             Teleguard 2.5
-*  Channel 8250 Node 1     744-8546   300-9600    HST/V.32 PC Board 14.5
-*  Channel 8250 Node 2     744-5166   300-9600    HST      PC Board 14.5
*   Crunchy Frog            956-1755   300-2400             PC Board 14.0
    D3 Systems BBS          663-2759   300-9600    HST/V.32 Quick BBS 2.04
+   Duck Pond BBS           822-0956   300-9600    HST/V.32 Opus-CBCS 1.03c
    EzNet Central           785-7417   1200-9600   HST      PC Board 14.2
    Graphics Zone Node 1    870-5306   300-9600    V.42     TBBS 2.1(16)
    Graphics Zone Node 2    870-5329   300-9600    V.42     TBBS 2.1(16)
+   I.S.A. BBS              995-6590   300-9600    HST      TCOMM
*   Joker's Castle          744-6120   300-2400             PC Board 14.0
    K-9 Corner              424-8202   300-2400             Image 1.2
*   Little Kingdom Node 1   969-0007   300-9600    HST/V.42 PC Board 14.5
*   Little Kingdom Node 2   969-0008   300-2400    MNP4     PC Board 14.5
    LZ Birmingham           870-7770   300-2400             PC Board 14.5
*   Magnolia BBS            854-6407   300-9600    HST      PC Board 14.2
@   Missing Link            853-1257   300-2400             Image 1.2
^   Myth Drannor            699-5811   1200-2400   MNP4     WWIV 4.11
    Outside It's America    951-2473   300-2400    MNP4     WWIV 4.11
    Owl's Nest              680-0851   300-2400             PC Board 14.2
@   Pirate's Cove           942-7429   300-1200             Image 1.2
    Posys BBS               854-5131   1200-2400            RBBS CPC17.3
*   Radio Free Troad        979-6183   300-9600    HST/V.42 PC Board 14.2
    Safe Harbor             665-4355   300-2400             GT Power 15.00
    Shadetree BBS           787-6723   300-2400             Phoenix 1.36
    Sperry BBS              853-6144   300-9600    Hayes    PC Board 14.5
*   ST BBS                  836-9311   300-2400             PC Board 14.2
@   The Commodore Zone      856-3783   300-2400             Image 1.2
    The Connection          854-9074   1200-2400            PC Board 14.1
    The Dog House           425-9255   300-1200             Image 1.2
    The Dragon's Hoard      833-3790   300-2400             WWIV 4.12
    The Hanging Tree        938-2145   300-2400             WWIV 4.11
-   The Matrix Nodes 1-4    323-2016   300-2400             PC Board 14.5
-   The Matrix Node 5       251-2344   300-9600    HST      PC Board 14.5
    The Outer Limits        985-1725   1200-2400            Teleguard 2.5i
    VCM(ee) BBS Node 1      655-4059   300-2400             Oracomm Plus
    VCM(ee) BBS Node 2      655-4065   300-1200             Oracomm Plus
    Victory Express         425-0821   300-1200             Image 1.2
    Willie's DYM Node 1     979-1629   300-2400             Oracomm Plus
    Willie's DYM Node 2     979-7739   300-2400             Oracomm Plus
    Willie's DYM Node 3     979-7743   300-1200             Oracomm Plus
    Willie's DYM Node 4     979-8156   300-1200             Oracomm Plus
    Ziggy Unaxess           991-5696   300-1200             Unaxess

Boards with a "*" before their name are members of our local network,
EzNet, and public messages left in the EzNet Conferences of any of these
boards will be echoed to all members.

Boards with a "@" before their name are members of our local Commodore
network, Image Network, and e-mail left on any member board may be
directed to any other member board.

Boards with a "+" before their name are members of FidoNet, an
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
as private mail services all over the world.

Boards with a "-" before their name are members of MetroNet, an
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
as private mail services all over the world.

Boards with a "^" before their name are members of WWIV-Net, an
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
as private mail services all over the world.

If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us
know via EzNet.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

EzNet Multiple Echo List

     EzNet now supports multiple conference echoing but there are a few
things you should be aware of regarding private mail.

  A. You have one 'address' for private mail.  If you are registered for
     private mail on Channel 8250 and someone sends you a private
     message in the MS-DOS conference from Crunchy Frog it will wind
     up in the Hardware conference on Channel 8250 as it should.

     However, if you were registered for private mail on Magnolia and
     someone sends you a private message in a conference that Magnolia
     does not support (echo) then the message will wind up in the
     twilight zone.

  B. If you go by a handle on one BBS and your real name on another even
     if the private message goes where it is supposed to, you will not
     be able to read it because it is addressed to someone else as far
     as PC Board is concerned.  PC Board has no way of knowing that Red
     Foxx and John Doe are the same person. No tickee, no washee.

     Advice on sending private mail: If you don't know if the person you
are sending private mail to is registered for private mail then keep a
copy of the message in case you have to find an alternate route. EzNet
Central will delete your private, undelivered message and inform you
that the user you attempted to reach is not registered for private mail
on any EzNet Node.

     This is a list of the current echoes that I am aware of.  More are
in the making and will be posted in future issues.  If you are a sysop
and are running an echo not listed for your board, please make us aware
of it so we may correct it next issue.


                    Eznet  Program   IBM    Adult  Scitech  BTNWA

Alter-Ego ........... * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
American BBS ........ * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
Bus System BBS ...... * ..... * ..... * .....   ..... * ..... * ..
Byte Me! ............ * ..... * ..... * ..... * .....   .....   ..
Channel 8250 ........ * ..... * ..... * .....   ..... * ..... * ..
Crunchy Frog ........ * .....   ..... * ..... * .....   ..... * ..
Joker's Castle ...... * .....   ..... * .....   .....   .....   ..
Little Kingdom ...... * ..... * ..... * ..... * ..... * .....   ..
Magnolia BBS ........ * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
Radio Free Troad .... * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
ST BBS .............. * .....   .....   .....   .....   .....   ..
