
 '##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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  ##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #413 !!
  #########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS!  !!
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  ##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "My Phallic Pistol"                      !!
  ##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Teerts                             !!
 ..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 1/10/99                                  !!
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        first off, as a sidenote, jeff (altrocks) is being a cock.
 sure, that has not much to do with the rest of this piece, but the
 dickhead is shining a laser pointer in my eyes... i'm gonna go kick him
 in the dick soon...

        How is a gun a phallic symbol?  i think there are far too many
 people who claim that... well, just about anything can be a phallic
 symbol, a symbol of men's dominance over women and also each other.
 you may ask, exactly how can a gun be phallic?  is anything that can be
 used to exert power over another automagically to be considered phallic?
 what aspects or characteristics of a gun help to make it the symbol of
 manhood which it is considered to be?  some similar aspects of the two
 are the way in which they are used:  pointed away from the bearer, they
 both shoot.  also, depending on the size, they can both strike fear into
 the hearts of many.  there is also shared terminology between these two
 great icons of power in our society.  one 'cocks' a gun before
 'shooting' it.  one can 'blow' someone's head off, or pump them full of
 [insert ammunition here].  there are also the questions of penetration,
 entrance, and exit.  you make the connections.

        these things alone, in my opinion, do not make a gun phallic in
 nature, it is mostly just pragmatical.  (yes, i'm pretty sure that is a
 word. look it up or something.)  what about taking into accuont the
 construction and design of a gun?  the mechanisms which make the whole
 thing operate are behind and below the portruding part.  "what about
 balls?" some may ask.  sure, without testes and a prostate, a penis
 would be biologically useless, much like a gun without trigger and
 hammer mechanisms.  the fact that those mechanisms were placed where
 they were, are for aesthetics and practicality.  i'm sure that if it
 were really intended to be a phallus-like object, it would have all been
 incorporated into one big cylinder.  that way, it would have resembled
 the offensive part of the male anatomy!@

        'civilized' men wanted a way to throw heavy objects at each
 other, at a relatively high velocity, from relatively far away.  (i'm
 pretty sure, man haters, that there was not a man sitting around one
 day, penis in hand, who suddenly had a vision and exclaimed 'i've got
 it!  the perfect weapon!  guys, check this idea out!')

        the whole idea for a gun probably came from some silly accident
 due to fireworks or something... evolving into cannon, then hand-cannon,
 then eventually pistols.  i mean hey, as a 'civilised' man, i'd like to
 be able to carry my new heavy-thing-hurler around with me, i dont like
 swords anymore.  also, we 'civilised' men do not engage in spear and
 rock warfare.

        heh, so much like meat-eating, guns and war help us reaffirm
 our masculine hold on society.  die cow, die.  moo.  *bang*

        mmm.... ehhhh...

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 !! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS!   HOE #413, WRITTEN BY: TEERTS - 1/10/99 !!
