
1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ************************ INSTALLED: 14 JUL 85 ***********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 *************************************************************************
19 
20 L'homme: Next week (this week?) would be great. I think that the problem
21 is some sort of weird go out and poke the code but not in a way that it
22 will blow up completely type of bug. See you then.
23 **************************** CISTOP MIKEY ******************************
24 
25 Well, well... no need to say it is there?
26 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
27 SPACE SETTLER  (Critters)
28       by: Yang (Bob Asprin), Bob & Ann Passavoy, & Murry Porath
29 
30       MUSIC: The Irish Washerwoman
31 
32 
33 I'm an uncultured brawler, some call me a bore
34 And if you don't like it, you'll land on the floor.
35 There's nothing I'm liking so much as a fight
36 Unless it is drinking and wenching all night.
37 
38 Well, I eat critters for breakfast and stand seven-four
39 My knuckles are hairy and drag on the floor,
40 A typical member of our human race,
41 The meanest damn critter that ever hit space.
42 
43   CHORUS:  Yo-de-oh-do de-oh-do de-oh-day-he
44            Yo-de-oh-do de-oh-do de-oh-day-he
45 
46 If you think that my accent is just a bit strange,
47 The cause of it is just a wee bit deranged:
48 My father's from Ireland, me mum's from the Moon
49 And so by my lineage, I'm pure Irish Lune.
50 
51 I was raised up on Venus, took schooling on Mars,
52 Enlisted on Pluto, from there to the stars.
53 I was discharged on Sigma, and so you can see
54 That me and my accent are New Brooklynese.
55 
56   CHORUS
57 
58 I awoke the first morning and there in the door
59 Was a critter with fangs like I'd ne'er seen before;
60 That he's angry as blazes was easy to see;
61 The big trouble was he was looking at me.
62 
63 So I picked up the sofa and gave him a whack
64 He crossed all three eyes and was knocked on his back.
65 I came up with a razor; he said he was beat.
66 Now he fetches my paper and sleeps at my feet.
67 
68   CHORUS
69 
70 There is one little warning I'd like to advance;
71 If you walk in my garden, you're taking a chance.
72 Carry large chunks of raw meat to feed to the plants
73 And bring a flame thrower to use on the ants.
74 
75 Now the lilacs have teeth and love dearly to chew;
76 The snapdragon's nibble will cut you in two.
77 I have many strange plants but the cream of the crew
78 Is a rosebud whose sap tastes like Tullimore Dew.
79 
80   CHORUS
81 
82 Now some people have asked: as the stars I do roam
83 If I never long for the man from back home?
84 This pining away for a guy is such crap
85 If you're horny enough, you just learn to adapt.
86 
87 I have made it with guys who would curl up your hair,
88 Both crouched in a tree and suspended in air.
89 You just haven't made it until you have wailed
90 With a guy with a forked tongue and prehensile tail.
91 
92   CHORUS
93 
94 Now I look kinda dirty and smell bad to boot;
95 Your mother won't like me, your dad wants to shoot.
96 Come live with me honey, we'll have us a brood
97 Of three lovely children, both nasty and crude.
98 
99 They'll stand six-foot-nine and weigh three-forty-two
100 Eat raw horsemeat washed down with Tullimore Dew.
101 Your friends will turn pale and their senses will whirl
102 When we introduce them to our little girls.
103 
104   CHORUS
105 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
106 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
107           Rabbit's Run
108             part #2
109    Strider was the first to go in, along with Zephyr.  Messenger stayed behind
110 in case somethino approached while the two rabbits tried to pluck the sweet
111 wet vegetables from the ground.  He took a step back and immediately regretted it
112 , wxat little time he had left to think.
113     It was quick and the rabbit didn't feel a thing as the jaws clamped into
114 him.  He died as they bit him.  
115    "Messenger?" said Zephyr, walthough the sound was muffled by the carrot he
116 held in his mouth.  The dark shadows made the mood all the more solomn as 
117 the two saw what had happened to their best friend.  
118    "Zephyr!" Strider sobbed out, crying on the shoulder of the rabbit.
119    "It's all right, Strider.  Messenger's time has come, that's all."
120    Strider turned away, sobbing, her whiskers became wet with the rain that
121 was now even more steadily falling.
122    "No it's NOT all right!" sxhe said, glaring at him, "I was  lto lead this 
123 and I have failed!" 
124    "No...." he pushed her face up from it's downward position to make her
125 face him, and once again he saw how trulybeutiful she was.
126    "His time in this world was up.  He has traversed the gap and is even now
127 [BREAK]
128               even now?  Even now what?  Don't leave us hanging!  Hmm.... must
129 have had a problem there.
130 ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
131 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
132 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppplurking **SIGH** ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
133 CRASH,BANG,WALLOP!!!
134 
135 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
136 All- Oops.  I hate call waiting! Sorry about all that with leaving you in
137 uspense and such, I'll begin this episode where that one was supposed to 
138 end. 
139 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
140              Rabbit's Run
141          part #2 and a half
142   "And is wishing even now that we'd go and do what we came here to do!"
143   Strider looked up, to see the stars shine bright in the moonlit and silky clouded sky.  Messenger was there, 
144 if you looked closely you'd see him. 
145    "I *sniff*...guess you're right.  C'Mmon, let's gather the lettuce alone."
146    T Zephyr agreed and the pair began to silently dig up the sweet lettuce from the soil.  It was wet, but not 
147 muddy as yet, so the rabbits had an easier time getting at the radisxes,
148 carrots, lettuce, beans, and other fresh vegetables thtat the soft ground had to
149 offer.  If they had had more time, they would take all the foodstuff from the 
150 ground.  But time was the one thing that the rabbits had little of, for they
151 knew that at any moment thate Human-who-makes-us-the-Truffles would
152 come out of his burrow above ground and attack us with his bBANG twig.  They worked feaverishly, picking the fd
153 they needed. 
154 Their time just ran out.
155 To be continued......
156 All-You like so far??????
157 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
158 p.s.: My name is Zephyr.  Forgot to put it on the border above.
1597 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::======:::::=====:::::=====
160 Zephyr or whatever: Your story is weird!
161 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>OTIS<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
162 
TO ALL:
163 

164 
I would like to apologize on behalf of my kid-sister, "THE WIZ" or "THE TWIT"
165 
whom you have so accurately renamed.  She tends to be a more than a little abrupt and usually totally of-the-wall.  
166 
Sorry that she interupted your conversations and led to an argument, so lets getback to intelligent conve
167 
conversations, is that OTAY with everybody?  Could somebody tell me what I'm doing wrong to make my sentences get so br
168 
oken up?   Are any of you guys into BLOOM COUNTY?  Maybe we can get Binkley's 
169 
closet of anxieties to move to my sister's abode and computer modems will haunt 
170 
her so bad that she won't touch it, what do you guys think. is that a great ideaor what?
171 +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
172 Bloom county??? ever heard of it???  here's the answer in one little word, 'yes'"""""""
173 	It ain't no use,
174 	I cannot sleep...
175 	All up my back
176 	these chills do creep...
177 
178 	For in my room
179 	dark shapes I see!
180 	( a chair, a lamp those shapes may be...)
181 	But now I think 
182 	they are instead,
183 	shapes to fear!
184 	Shapes to dread!
185 
186 	Yes, who are you, you scary few?
187 	Are you things from my nightmare zoo?...
188 	Monsters and meanies in multiple twosomes?
189 	Nasties and beasties all toothsome and gruesome?
190 
191 	I know yer here! you haven't fled!
192 	Your goblin heads are there ahead!
193 	Now we'll see who spreads such dread...
194 
195 	...A heap of lawyers atop my bed!
196 +=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+
197 /'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/
198 Wiz: is there any other boards that you call
199 that would have private mail? I would like to
200 talk to you...
201 /'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/'/Wave.
202 
203 
204 ==================================================================
205                                WHAT IS A TWIT?
206      Among other things, a twit is a person who uses the bbs's too frequently, 
207 leaves  many stupid,  pointless messages,  and uses aliases.   Is Twittishness 
208 incurable?:  Once a twit,  always a twit?  Witness the situation where someone 
209 recently  couldn't get respect under any of a half-dozen aliases.    It  shows 
210 through even in the rarified atmosphere of this bbs.
211      But maybe it is curable.  Wait 10 years, and the kid will either grow up, 
212 or move away, or find some other way to amuse himself.
213 
214                        SOME WARNING SIGNS
215 This  handy  quiz will help you determine if you (or someone you  know)  is  a 
216 TWIT.
217 
218 Question 1:  Do you call the same bbs more than twice a day?
219 Score:  0 for Never.  1 for Sometimes (once per month).  3 for often.(once per 
220 week)
221 
222 Question 2:  Do you use different aliases on the same system?
223 Score 0 for Never.  1 for 1 alias.  3 for 2 aliases. 5 for 3 aliases.
224 Add a point if you have aliases on more than one board.
225 
226 Question  3:   Assuming your answer to 2:  is not 0,  Do you abandon an  alias 
227 after you've manages to piss of the other users of the system.
228 Score  1 if No, 2 if yes.
229  
230 Question 3:  Do you enter more than 2 messages to a person in one day?
231 Score 0 for Never, 1 for sometimes, 2 for Once a week.
232 
233 Question  4:   Would  you  be  embarrassed if everyone  knew  your  scores  on 
234 questions 1,2, 3, and 4 above?  (especially 1)
235 Score 0 if No.  Score 3 if yes.
236 
237 Scoring:   0:   You  are not a twit.   There is no prospect in your becoming a 
238 twit in the near future.
239         1-3  You do quite well.  Keep up the good work.
240         4-5  Twit Alert:  You are developing twit-like tendencies.
241         6-7  Twit Warning!  Twit Warning! You are in severe danger of becoming
242              a TWIT.
243         8-16  YOU ARE A TWIT.   Hang up the phone right now and leave the rest 
244 of us alone.
245 
246 ========================================================================
247 "="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="
248 Txahank Goodness! I score a 1!  That means that I'm not a twit, I hope.  
249   Of course, there is always the slight chance that when I turn myself o
250 off at night my Chameleon circuit, mabye due to an electrical short or
251 some crazy malfunction, turns me into a hideous twit thing:
252               Beta Unit
253              And Mr. Twirt
254 *That sxould read -twit-* .  I can see it all now! I'd get rich and be a
255 able to buy a nice hut in the southern Islands where Hawiian girls would 
256 play sweet songs on coconut insturments. Alas, sadly, we Beta Units are 
257 forbidden to get rich.  Too bad.  It'd make a great movie, wouldn't it?
258 "="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="="BETA UNIT "="="="="="="="="="="="="="=
259 WIZ: quit using ctrl-S as a delay character! It locks up some terminals. 
260 If you must use a delay char, use NULL (ctrl-@, 00H) or if your terminal
261 can't send that, then use ctrl-A.
262 As for the broken sentences, this isn't a wordprocessor! There are only  so
263 many characters per line (set by the MA command). Type HELP to get more
264 info about the commands. If the system won't let you enter all of a word
265 you are at the end of the line (which may not be anywhere near the end of
266 the line on your screen! If you can't get all of a word on the line, use
267 your backspace key to erase the partial word & then re-enter the word after
268 sending a carriage return. 
269 Twit-hater: you *are* acting rather twitly yourself. You aren't signing
270 your msgs (counts as 5-10 points on the alias question). You have called
271 at least three times since this time last night. Since you have already
272 made you views clear, you also get points for 'boring, pointless msgs'.
273 All: I rather like the definition of 'twit' that I heard a while back.
274 Rumor has it that PAM came up with it.
275 TWIT - someone who does obnoxious things because they don't know any 
276        better.
277 JERK - someone who knows better, but does it anyway.
278 
279 The Wiz *may* be a twit. The anonymous twit hater is starting to look like
280 a candidate for jerkdom. By the way, unless I missed something, The Wiz's
281 older sibling never said anything that would indicate his/her sex...
282 _____________________________Leonard_______________________________________
283 ''[[------=<DARK AVENGER>=------]]  ``
284 Well did it again chaged my boreder oh well
285 Rabbit:Very good story, keep it up...
286 Well as for the twits why don't we just drop the twit
287 conversation they'll grow up one of these days,maybe not
288 who knows...well how many of you would like me to do a story
289 on here. Well probably not a whole lot right? Well I hope some
290 of you do because I would like to get to know alot of you guys
291 (Not the twits) because I'm new on these story boards...well
292 thanks alot
293 ''[[------=<DARK AVENGER>------]]   ``
294 
295 Leonard made an interesting, though false, assumption:  he assumed that the
296 "twit-hater" messages above were all written by the same person. ("You have
297 already called 3 times since last night.")  I know that to be untrue.  All
298 legitimate users of this system have a reason to shun twits, and it is like
299 y that many would comment if they felt that their comments would do any god
300 (good.)
301 I don't sign this message because I don't want to permanently draw the ire
302 of the people who are the targets of anti-twit messages:  Even twits can
303 be reformed and when they are, we can still be friends.  As long as they
304 know they need to change, they don't need to know where the advice came
305 from.
306 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
307 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
308 
309 L'homme:  You are in need of a TEK 4010 graphics terminal?  This is for your
310 485 project, right?  How about using the 4107 in 4010 mode?  Call me for
311 details... I receintly was given a Programmers Reference Guide for the 4107
312 and you are welcome to peruse it.  By the way, how are my disks coming?
313 
314 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
315 `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,
316 Emu... I just called and couldn't get it to do very much.  I did find a
317 command 'call' that with put together with different numbers seems to search
318 for different.  I don't know.  'Call 1203' does something.  I also observed
319 that certain letters would pause for further entry. Usually you could hit
320 space and it will continue but for some letters it seems to give you a chance.
321 Seems like a chalange, I just wish it wasn't long distance from my home...
322 Good luck with it!
323 `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`Mark,`,`,`, 
324 
325 -+-   
326 -+-   Here I go again.
327 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-
328       As far as the subject of 'hating' goes, indeed it is a delicate one.
329 Severe 'dislike' has even made it's nasty way into even this establishment.
330 I can't say that I'm doing anything in the way of returning this to the
331 famed storyboard we all know this to be, but a small piece of mind is some-
332 thing I must give before I allow it to pass.  (Go ahead, make jokes.  I can
333 handle it.)  From whence I came, not a soul would say a word to a new face
334 within these walls unless provoked by the new one.  Now the new ones are 
335 the subject of inconceivably large amounts of what I call 'hate-mail'.  Has
336 the Inn changed so drastically(sp) in the past year?  It reminds me of the
337 story of the young and old trees growing in the forest...   Once there was
338 a time when the land was clear, nothing to be seen for miles.  When man
339 came along, he decided to over the land, portions of it, with healthy young
340 sapling.  Years had passed and the saplings grew to be tall, strong trees.
341 Generations had passed and their children had decided that it was time to
342 contribute to the massive glade of trees, in tradition with their ancestors.
343 The younger saplings were planted around the older trees and amoungst them.
344 Sad as it was, the younger ones within the glade had died, for they had 
345 been starved of their right to the Sun's life giving rays.  The older trees
346 continued in their existance since they were already able to reach the rays
347 although the younger ones could not.
348       Have we become so arogant as to portray the way of the older ones?
349 Denying the younger ones their right where we were once allowed to grow?
350 Lord knows that I've been given more than my fair share of tolerance here.
351 I don't think it would make any difference if I were to suggest transposing
352 one's self with the newer ones to see what they are going through...
353 No, I guess it wouldn't.   But you have to give them credit for their 
354 persistance and unending will to grow.  But then, that's why you 'hate' 
355 them, isn't it?          How little we learn, how soon we forget...
356 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-
357 T.F.  It works!  (Although not as well when on-line.)  Thank you greatly
358       for your continued belief in me.
359 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -JUGGLER-   -+-
360 ch /over/cover/
361 ch /current frame of mind/something better/
362 -+-
363  
364 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
365   Juggler -- I think you'll find that most of the "hate mail" does not come
366 from those who have been "established" users of this system.  Most of the
367 old-timers here have been through one or two long hot summers.  The problem
368 is, of course, access.  When a person is so lacking in self-worth or 
369 self-image that they have no constructive outlets, it is easy to indulge in
370 anti-social acts.  This can range from running down the sidewalk sticking out
371 your tounge at your reflection to climbing to a high place with a high-power
372 rifle and supply of ammunition -- extremes on the scale of behaviour.
373   The more juvinile actions are easier to ignore -- just consider the ignorance
374 that it exposes on the part of the perpitrator.  If you get too far to the 
375 more serious extreme, the problem tends to be self-limiting -- the genes for
376 that family line tend to be eliminated from the gene pool.  For those who are
377 somewhere in the vast middle, I don't know of any quick fixes -- they simply
378 have to get bored with what they're doing.  Hopefully they haven't gotten
379 too deeply mired in a pattern of behaviour to be salvageable.  It's time to
380 just sit back and let most of this pass.  **SIGH**
381 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
382 +++++hopingcurrentphasepassesquickly,thisisgettingdownrightdepressing++ Milch +
383 
384 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
385  As the Innkeeper was awaken from his rather disturbed and dark sleep by
386 the loud bickering within the Inn's common room. He became just a bit
387 upset. Pulling on his cloths, he stepped into the common's and in his
388 best authoritive voice he could must at such an early hour of the morning.
389 "Enough!" I shall not have this bickering in my Inn! Take it elsewhere!"
390 With that he began to heave great quanities of garbage out the rear door
391 and onto the trash heap behind the Inn. 
392 You are welcome to enjoy the pleasures of the Inn, but I will not tolerate
393 such behavior. Act in a reasonable and respectful manor, and I would be
394 happy to have you as a patron. I will not however allow this bickering
395 and squabling to continue.
396 "What a mess, I can see this is going to take a while to clean up."
397 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The Innkeeper +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
398 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====::::
399 Juggler- An honorable intent, though I wonder if it isn't the young satree
400 that decides to steal the nutrients from the ground.......
401 Emu- You 're a chair, right?
402 L'Homme(sp)-What does your name mean?
403 Dark Avenger-I wouldn't put a story up as yet, it seems that miost of the
404 patrons are expecting super-stories. Wait a while and then try writing one
405 that we can enjoy.
406  Milchar- Where are you? Come on out of "lurk" mode, please!
407 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====::::
408               Rabbit'S Run
409                 part #4
410    The sound of the large door opening and the strange words of the human 
411 signaled that their time had just run out. 
412   "Quickly!" whispered Zephyr, "Gather all you can and hurry away!"
413   "Right!" said Strider, taking hold of some delicious radishes, andd 
414 running through the large grasses of the path, her heart pounding as one 
415 foot followed the otheHer fur glistened as the rain that had been 
416 held back in the clouds pourned down, making it even more difficult.  They
417 heard the sound of the bang TWIG, and a pellet from it whizzed past, m
418 causing Strider to panic.  She fell as the pellet shot past.  She didn't 
419 realize that the pellet was going to miss.  The yells of the Human and 
420 more pellets shot at their delicate ears, and they ran for all their 
421 heart.  
422   "*puff* ....Do you think he'll catch upwith us...*pant!*"
423   "I doubt..*puff*...it, we have a pretty good xead start!"
424    The two rabbits raced past, ignoring the whirling colors of the forest 
425 as they went.  
426    The human's sound got closer, then the sound of a Baying omne being 
427 held by him.  The rabbit's only needed one chance to escape , but it was
428 as if the earth had swallowed all the familiar escape routes, as if the 
429 shadow of night had covered the burrows with a thick layer of darkness and
430 invisibility.  Even the rabbit'S keen senses couldn't detect any means of 
431 escape.
432 And that's when the human found them...
433 (to be continued......)
434 All-About my story, you like it?
435 ::Should I continue it?
436 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::====
437 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
438 Whoops. Add the name ZEPHYR  to my border above!
439 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=Zephyr:::=====:::::=====:::::=====::::
440 *"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*
441 Bunny: Nice so far, I just wish it were all legible.  I have a terrible 
442 time trying to read it.
443 Zancresta the ferret
444 "*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*""*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"
445              TWIT ADVENTURE
446 
447 Once upon a time there lived a nice little Twit his name
448 was George. George the Twit people called him.  One day
449 after school some of his friends were picking on him then
450 the next day they picked on him some more. Poor Twit.Never getting enough..
451    But this Twit was a different Twit.  He was proud of being
452 a Twit.  One day after school his friends beat up on him again.
453 But this didn't stop the Twit! He went and told the principal.
454 and the principal said "Shut up Twit Go back from where you came!"
455    This made poor George very angrey.  He sat home and cried
456 all day.  He even missed his dinner. George didn't ever miss
457 his dinner.  So after school one day his friends were beating
458 him up.  He went to the principal again.
459    George decided to go to the principal the next day and
460 so he did.
461    The principal told him that he was not a Twit only
462 the principal was wrong he told him he was a NERD!!!!
463    This made George really mad.  He ran around three
464 times and then cried all night. And missed his dinner
465 again.  His parents really didn't care because they knew
466 they were Twits too.  But tGeorge was determend to find out
467 what went wrong here He got on his tricycle and peddled down
468 to his friends house(the ones that were picking on him) and
469 then he took his base ball mallet and rang the door bell while
470 holding the base ball mallet ready for battle.
471    George went over to their house and said 'ALLRIGHT WHY DO
472 YOU GUYS KEEP BOSSING ME AROUND I'M NOT A TWIT OR A NERD YOU
473 ALL ARE>!!"
474           (TWIT TO BE CONTINUED NEXT WEEK)
475 Anybody got more straight jackets?
476 
477 *******************************************************************
478 L'HOMME: ANY EST ON WHEN YOU'LL GET BACK OUT TO USD? JUST WONDERING....
479 ************************** CISTOP MIKEY *********************************
480 
481 hello there everyone.this is s.s.weed from R.I. hows it out therre?
482 Going okay s.s.weed.  Goin' okay.
483 Dark Avenger: go ahead and try a story. It helps if the spelling and
484 punctuation are correct, but it isn't *necessary*. If no one jumps down
485 your throat, then we probably like the story...
486 ___________________________Leonard_________________________________________
487 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
488 A few minutes later, I found myself at the door to the Danger Room.  The Doctor
489 had felt the need for an 'exercise' area between adventures; the DR was the
490 ultimate in work-out equipment.  It could be set at three levels, and for 
491 countless scenarios.  L1 was harmless mode- all targets and projectiles were
492 holograms, phantoms.  L2 was the 'minimal danger' mode- all devices were set
493 to stun, not injure, the occupants.  Lastly, L3- 'near-lethal' mode.  It wasn't
494 used much, but it was there.  Theoretically, all devices would stop blasting
495 when someone's vital signs went too far out of kilter.  Of course, we'd only
496 tested this once, when the DR was being built.
497 As I stepped through the threshold, I saw the last images of a simulation
498 fading away.  Grann lay motionless near the middle of the white expanse of
499 floor, and the Doctor sat smirking a little in the Control booth, 40 feet away.
500 "Let me guess, you ran number 437, didn't you, Doctor?"
501 "How'd you know?  That gnome sure is a tough target.  Kept popping out all over
502 the place just as the computer had him in its sights.  Had to resort to the
503 fireball effect to get him.  It wasn't bad, though.  Look, he's getting up now."
504 Number 437, on L2.  As we programmed the DR some time ago, we included 
505 simulations of ourselves.  The Doctor did mine, of course, and I did his.
506 That way, vanity wouldn't get the best of us.  437 was the 'Milchar' program,
507 the one where I was portrayed as throwing fireballs around like rice at a
508 wedding.  I had told him that it would be a terrible effort for me just to get
509 one small fireball going, as it wasn't my specialty, much less dozens.  He
510 hadn't listened, and the program remained the same.
511 Grann stirred.  A faint moan floated about the DR.  I helped him with a hand
512 up, and saw that although he was dazed, he wasn't seriously hurt.  "Enough,
513 Doctor, Come in here and see the results."
514 A few moments later, he was in the DR and puzzling out the printout.
515 "Paratemporal?  What in the 4 dimensions is Paratemporal?"
516 "Ah, Doctor, that is one of the 4 ways to travel.  You know about two already-
517 Spatial and Temporal.  Movement in space and movement forward and backward in
518 time.  There are two more, totaling 6 dimensions, not 4."
519 "What are they, then?"
520 "Planal, for one.  Your technological plane is quite different from the one
521 on which I originated.  Magic still works though, thank Amigc.  There are an
522 infinite number of other existances, a different from one another."
523 "And the last?"
524 "ParaTemporal.  Travelling SIDEWAYS in time."
525 "Sideways?  I do believe you have a screw loose, Milch."
526 "Not at all, not at all.  Listen.  At any point in time, decisions are made
527 that affect the course of future history.  If, however, a decision is made
528 another way instead of the way that we are used to, the universe changes, if
529 by a skull-splittingly small amount.  True?"
530 "Well, yes..."
531 "All right, if many such changes of decision occur in the past, then more 
532 radical departures from the 'norm' occur.  Paratemporal travelling cuts ACROSS
533 the lines of time that are formed by momentous decisions, allowing travel to
534 places that MIGHT HAVE BEEN, but weren't in our 'normal' line.  Have I defined
535 paratemporal accurately enough for you?"
536 "I believe so.  This printout says we must go to one of these 'other' Earths?"
537 "Yes, but I have no idea how changed this Earth is from the one we're used to.
538 I usually restrict myself to Spatial and Planal travel, the others tend to
539 muck up the continuum a bit.  Tell you what, I'll seize this opprotunity to
540 teach Grann the spell required to go across the lines, and you just let the
541 box drag to to the proper Space/Time coordinates.  We'll soon have an answer
542 to your little mystery."
543 ++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milchar ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
544 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
545 THANKS MILCHAR, I THINK THAT
546 STORY WAS JUST WHAT THE INN
547 NEEDS THESE DAYS.  (STORIES
548 NOT ARGUMENTS). 
549 
550      MAX...
551 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
552  
553 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
554     From Prometheus; Ironic
555     I have said it before, and most likely, I'll say it again;
556 things would be a lot better if people would simply continue
557 with life, instead of brooding over everything.
558 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::0:::::::::::::::::::0::::::::::::
559 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
560 <+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+>
561 "*" - thanks.
562 WIZ and/or FRED - Please take it easy on the space wasting, thanks.
563 Human/Animal folk - Animals are after all called animals....
564 Leonard - Even though it was dwn/up loaded it was *first raterate*
565 sorry for line 605...It may lock a few terminals out in terminal land.
566 please also CH/raterate/rate/
567 cont-  The Vader/MC gold is somethin I would really like to see in
568 commerical <sp?> land.
569 <+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><timetoshutup><+><+><+><+><+> dan <+><+><+><+><+>
570 [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/]
571 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^     (...)
572 
573 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-
574       Ah, but don't you see?  There is nothing to 'steal' here, for it is
575 all free for the reading!  And I'm darn thankful that it is!
576 Piper, I'm glad to see that you still remain.  Whatever the atmosphere...
577 I suppose what you say is true, I should realize such things.  As much as 
578 I'd like to discuss this matter more, I know a dead issue when I see too 
579 much of it.  And I have.          Back and forth the topics fly,
580                                       as do the bags of the
581 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -JUGGLER-   -+-   -+-
582 
583 <+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+>
584 Piper - Do you by any chance live in the Milwaukie area? This is the second
585 summer in a row that I have heard the sounds of THE pipes...
586 <+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+><+> just curious <+><+><+><+> dan <+><+><+><+>
587 And carefully in the quiet of the new dawn does one see that life is still
588 in him.  Wearily, he lifts his gaze to see that she has not returned. sigh >G

TOTAL NUMBER OF LINES = 588 
