From: ANGEL               
To: *.*                 
Subject: soundwaves     
Date & Time: 12/30/89 03:11:35
Message Number  1101

Hey, this is neat!  All of sudden I'm picking up an AM music station
on my modem!  Wow, bad bubblegum whenever I dial.  What the heck is
causing this; anyone know?  And if I can't stop it, how can I go about
tuning to a better station?
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: soundwaves     
Date & Time: 12/30/89 13:44:03
Message Number  1103

Don't feel bad.  I pick up CB on my phone (and it's not even cordless!).
And it always seems to be the same people talking about "Shootin' us
some posum."
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Mists of Avalon
Date & Time: 12/30/89 17:06:47
Message Number  1104

Well, Mists tells the best story in my opinion, and I'm different from 
others, so, blah on you!
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Styx           
Date & Time: 12/30/89 17:09:58
Message Number  1105

 Groovy...
===========

From: CYBERPUNK           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: life           
Date & Time: 12/31/89 13:08:21
Message Number  1107

ahhhhhh, i see....
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/01/90 14:41:33
Message Number  1108

I've always been interested in that...Ieven got an Assembly programming
book for my C=128, but Ican'T get my hands on an assembler to try it 
out.....
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/01/90 16:58:53
Message Number  1110

>I can't get my hands on an assembler...
 
So be a Real Programmer and assemble your programs by hand! Geesh, seems
obvious to me.
                       --A real Turtle
===========

From: FORPLAY             
To: TURTLE              
Subject: NEW YEAR       
Date & Time: 01/01/90 22:05:55
Message Number  1112

HOPE YOU HAVE A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
ENJOY YOUR SYSTEM.. KEEP UP THE GOOD WOR  
WORK...
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: WHATEVER            
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/02/90 01:23:33
Message Number  1114

Anyone out there subscribe to OMNI.  I've subscribed since issue one.
Am I the only one who seems to think they've weirded-out on us?  I've
always enjoyed it, if only for the fact that it is one of the few mass
publications that is written above an eighth grade level.
I forgave them when they added the UFO update section; at least they
prominently advertised the section as belonging to the bizarre, and
psuedo-scientific.  But their choice of interviews lately has seemed
less than inspired.  I suppose that in ten plus years of publication
you run out of great scientific minds to interview, but please...
an interview with an astronomer who now supports portions of astrology,
followed by an interview with Richard Dawkings re: his 'selfish gene'
theory of evolution.  Granted, it's a fascinating theory -- but he
came out with it 1974.  Hardly the cutting edge of scientific
speculation!
===========

From: SAURON              
To: TURTLE              
Subject:               
Date & Time: 01/02/90 12:58:46
Message Number  1115

  Shopping for Christmas cards?  isn't "Print Shop" available for the 
TRS-80?
===========

From: SAURON              
To: ASTRAL PRINCESS     
Subject: .              
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:04:11
Message Number  1116

  Thank you princess, for your relevant reply. Don't forget today's 
secret word...non-sequitur.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: capital revenge
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:06:17
Message Number  1117

  I am against it. Your kid chokes on a piece of lettuce...you don't put
out a contract on Caesar Chavez.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: .              
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:09:05
Message Number  1118

  She has the sexiest voice in Sarasota county and the funniest typos in
SW Florida. A nice lady.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: RU-426         
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:11:43
Message Number  1119

  The BEST oral contraceptive is oral sex.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:16:55
Message Number  1120

  Oh YES! I LOVE Omni. I especially like rubbing the glossy back covers 
on my wrists. 
  Omni is one of about 5 periodicals worth selecting out of the garbage 
-heap of current monthlies.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SAURON              
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:35:07
Message Number  1121

Problem is, Omni is in fact sliding into the depths of mush...an
unfortunate tendency, but lately a very apparant one. They seem to have
gone off into the Twilight Zone of squishy New Age-ism--if I see one
more Omni issue about "Dreams: How to Have 'Em, How to Interpret 'Em,
How to Contact Extraterrestrials With 'Em, How to Rule the World With 
'Em" or any more of their fascinating stories about homeopathy, dowsing
for water, or interviews with individuals who attempt to use tortured
and wildly innacurate arguments to demonstrate the plausibility of
astrology, I'll scream.
   The Games section is still good, though.
                         --A disillusioned Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SAURON              
Subject:               
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:40:51
Message Number  1122

Print Shop? Hmm. Well, actually, I have this deep, dark secret I've been
hiding for years. You see, the thing is--and I blush whenever I say
this--I like cards that are in...uh...well, COLOR. Call me quirky.
                      --A Technicolor Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SAURON              
Subject: capital revenge
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:42:23
Message Number  1123

>Your kid ckhokes on a piece of lettuce...you don't put out a contract
>on Caesar Chavez.
 
And you must always be careful to keep your dog on a leash whenever you
walk him in a city. Interesting observation; also, TOTALLY IRRELEVANT!
When one talks about capital punishment, one is normally discussing an
individual who deliberately and maliciously murdered someone else, not
someone who served an unfortunate individual a meal which he
subsequently chokes on. Presumably, the trivial and insignificant fact
that murder is a deliberate act may put a small kink in your analogy.
                     --A relevant Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SAURON              
Subject: RU-426         
Date & Time: 01/02/90 13:46:15
Message Number  1124

From a practical standpoint, that's not necessarily true, although I
can certainly sympathize with that view...
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/02/90 14:52:24
Message Number  1125

  Astronomy is a branch of Astrology.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: SAURON              
Subject: Women          
Date & Time: 01/02/90 14:55:46
Message Number  1126

   You must not like your mother, or had a very bad past life with a 
woman, Art.
 
  Seriously, what've you got against women? I mean, I cheer them for
striking out from thier opression. They are confronted by 
patriarchy everywhere, politics, sociality, religion, I think they're
trying to form a real balance instead of the false one that we always
insist. Sure they can do everything males can, but until they start 
getting treated better by the opposite sex (us), I'm all for thier 
additude, and with statements made from people like you constantly
flowing, I suspect them to remain the same for a long time.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: --                  
Subject: Spelling       
Date & Time: 01/02/90 15:04:52
Message Number  1127

 See what happens to grammar and spelling when you drop out of school?
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/02/90 18:47:22
Message Number  1128

> Astronomy is a branch of Astrology.
 
In what sense?  The same way wildlife management is a branch of praying
to dryads?  Astronomy is based on observable facts--Astrology is a mix
of observable facts (taken from Astronomy) with a lot of mysticism
trying to connect astronomical observations with human behavior.  It's
a fascinating idea, but it's somewhat like predicting the movement of
subatomic particles with a wind sock.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/02/90 19:01:47
Message Number  1129

I subscribe, but have never had the chance to go from cover to cover.
I suppose I'll get to my stack eventually ( yea Rufus, like your gonna
get to your 20 books to read, and that short story, and those 40+ hours
of taped shows ).
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Astros         
Date & Time: 01/02/90 19:18:25
Message Number  1130

  Astrology was first, and some of the ideas in astronomy were taken
from astrology. Don't even think your parade of sly analogies will make
me pass up a fight on any metaphysics/Occult/Religion topic.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANYONE              
Subject: Heavy Metal    
Date & Time: 01/02/90 20:58:44
Message Number  1131

Well, not like anyone could care, but Heavy Metal will become a 
'permanent' at the Midnight Movies.
Another useless fact from RufusNews.
Watch out CNN!
===========

From: ARTIMUS             
To: ALL                 
Subject: HI             
Date & Time: 01/02/90 21:29:29
Message Number  1132

HI ALL,
I'M NEW HERE ON ALTER REALITY.
HOW ARE YOU DOIN'?
===========

From: CRYSTAL             
To: ANGEL               
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/02/90 23:58:55
Message Number  1133

     I sucribe to OMNI and in the last issue about Armogeton was an 
enlighting to my evening.  Please forgive my typing I just came from the
male review and had a wonderful time.  Had a little to drink to I guess 
I will comment on it more when I can type and think in a more logical 
way.
                  * A very pleased gem *
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: ARTIMUS             
Subject: HI             
Date & Time: 01/03/90 00:53:22
Message Number  1134

Hi, Artimus.  Welcome to the bizarre!  Run, quick!  Escape while you
still have the chance!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Women          
Date & Time: 01/03/90 02:42:04
Message Number  1135

>Sure they can do anything males can, ...
 
Well, for the most part, yes. I can think of two or three things they
can't do, but that has more to do with anatomy than anything else...
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Astros         
Date & Time: 01/03/90 02:43:38
Message Number  1136

Hey, Spellwind, propose to me a system by which the apparant position
(not the real position by a long shot...stars are, like, lots O' light
years away and like, they move around and stuff, and they, like, aren't
really where they seem to be) of a group of astral bodies--you know,
balls of fusing hydrogen and helium, the occasional mass of dirty ice--
can have any influence on my business contacts today. Lessee here. I
was born in a closed hospital room, so their light didn't reach me.
Their gravity did, but so faintly that the gravity field around the
doctor's body utterly overwhelmed it. No radiation from that star
reached me, none, zip. So how did it determine what sort of person I
would be? Last time I looked, it was genetics and familial environment
that made me what I am today, not the position of Jupiter in the
seventeenth house of the eleventh conjunction of Mars and some small,
insignificant solar body that would be utterly unregarded but for the
fact that it'd be a good place to build a hyperspace bypass...
                         --A skeptical Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ARTIMUS             
Subject: Like, hello!   
Date & Time: 01/03/90 02:49:30
Message Number  1137

Like, I'm the sysop 'round these here parts. Like, hi, dude! Like,
welcome aboard! Like, hit me or something so I stop using the word
"like" and lots of exclamation points and drivel! Scuse me...
 
 
...I'm back. Had a mild problem with my operating system. Anyway,
welcome to aLTER rEALITY, hope you have a good time...Praise be to
the Way of the Aardvark. Never mind.
                      --A friendly Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ALL                 
Subject: Well...        
Date & Time: 01/03/90 02:51:59
Message Number  1138

...you know, I couldn't help but notice that the storyboard here seems
to have died a slow and painful death. In the interests of ressurecting
it again, I will probably be re-posting the first storyboard post soon,
along with a brief rundown of what a storyboard is and how it works (in
case there's anyone left in the BBS community who doesn't know by now.)
I will also probably be trying a few new things, like perhaps requiring
that anyone who wishes to join run at most one character, unless he/she
talks to me first. (No "I walk in to the tavern surrounded by eleven
characters," please...hint, hint...Spellwind...) I am also considering
(a) making the storyboard limited-access, like the one on the Wyvern's
    Den, and
(b) placing a background for the setting, and a "what a storyboard is"
    thing, in the download area and/or the S]how Neat Stuff area.
Opinions, anyone?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ARTIMUS             
Subject: Spelling       
Date & Time: 01/03/90 09:03:55
Message Number  1139

  If your name is of the greek goddess of similar name, it's Artemis.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Women          
Date & Time: 01/03/90 09:05:29
Message Number  1140

  Ugh. Can't you be serious? If not, you're going to end up at McDonalds
for the rest of your life! Don't get technical on me, young man.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Astros         
Date & Time: 01/03/90 09:07:46
Message Number  1141

 Their movement is controlled by the gods. Whatever faith you have,
(except cChristianity, which tosses out anything that is not the same as
their god.) There is always a god that controls the heavens, and
therefore controls men's lives from afar, the ancient egyptians had
astrology, first astrology, each sign represented by a lesser god, and
then astronomy, which in actuality was part of the use of a pyramid, 
though if an egyptian was buried in a chamber with that hole to the top,
it might have been for an easier trip to the heavens.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Gods/Religion  
Date & Time: 01/03/90 09:15:25
Message Number  1142

 OOPS! not just christianity. judaism, and alot of the other monotheis-
tic religions. Though not Buddah, who is just about everything to his 
followers. Feel free to start more religion talks, the one subject I
study intensely on.
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Gods/Religion  
Date & Time: 01/03/90 12:29:48
Message Number  1143

Buddha is not a god and has absolutely nothing to do with the stars.
This all still has very little to do with astrology.  Astrology was
around before astronomy?  Depends on the way you look at it.  There was
no separation at first.  However, the only provables in astrology are
the foundations of astronomy.  It could also be pointed out that
chronology is somewhat irrelevant; the geocentric view of the solar
system came long before the heliocentric view, but that doesn't make the
people who believe the other planets revolve around the earth rather
than all of them revolving around the sun correct.  You may personally
believe that the movement of the planets and stars is controlled by some
nebulous "gods", but there is no more (in fact, some would say there is
considerably less) evidence to support that than there is to support
Christianity's suppositions of the Holy Trinity and the Virgin Birth.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Gods/Religion  
Date & Time: 01/03/90 12:43:47
Message Number  1144

   Did I say Buddah was a god? nono. I said he was everything to his
followers. I believe his name was Sidharta Guatama.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Astromush      
Date & Time: 01/03/90 16:29:06
Message Number  1145

The movements of the stars are controlled by gods? Last time I looked,
they were controlled by certain observable--and provable--laws of
physics, and their motions were regular and predictable. They can
no more influence my destiny than the observed path of a baseball
that's just been knocked out of the park...both the baseball and the
stars move according to the same laws.
   You also still haven't addressed the point that apparant astrological
configurations are, for the most part, illusory. THE STARS ARE NOT WHERE
THEY APPEAR TO BE. To make an observation like "Saturn is within Orion"
is meaningless; the stars in that constellation haven't been in that
particular pattern for millions of years, and in the case of Orion it's
highly likely that at least one of those stars has been burned out for a
very long time. So by what mechanism can this particular configuration
possibly influence me?
               --A /really/ skeptical Turtle
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: The Subject    
Date & Time: 01/03/90 18:54:42
Message Number  1146

  I'm finished explaining astrology, though I may come back to it later,
now the subject is religion.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: HI             
Date & Time: 01/03/90 20:26:10
Message Number  1148

It's no use telling him to run.  He's trapped!  Forever!  HAHAHAHAHA!!!
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Well...        
Date & Time: 01/03/90 20:28:48
Message Number  1149

Sounds good to me.  Looks like I'll need another character.
Fester, the aardvark monk who likes large weapons, wouldn't fit in.
Oh well..I can think tommorow during class.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/03/90 22:21:24
Message Number  1151

  Artemis (Artumis or whatever) is the greek goddess of the hunt.
 a her, not a him.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ALL!                
Subject: Noriega        
Date & Time: 01/03/90 22:23:09
Message Number  1152

   The man gave himself up voluntarily to the americans, and is on his 
way to Homestead (Fl.) Air Force Base. He will face drug trafficing 
charges here.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/03/90 23:14:59
Message Number  1153

>Artemis...is the greek goddess of the hunt.
 
And the goddess of the moon; Roman equivalent is Diane. This, of course,
has nothing whatsoever to do with diatoms, which are microscopic sea
creatures and not gods at all; or with diatomic molecules; or even of
digraphs, dipthongs, dogs, DECsystem-20's, Da Vinci, dial tones,
digits, dump trucks, dismay, doomsday, digitalis, doors, dipsticks,
diamonds, Donald Trump, disk drives, dates, drones, DeBeers', dimes,
deer, Different Strokes, duffel bags, doormats, dreams, drugs, dolphins,
delight, disenfranchisement, Donthen, disorder, Dear Abbey, droplets,
digging, defeat, Disney World, domination, death, donuts, or digression.
                      --A disheartened Turtle
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/04/90 10:43:58
Message Number  1154

    And Diane is one of the names of the Triple Goddess as well.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Dumb reptiles  
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:00:36
Message Number  1155

> You know, that reminds me. I was hacking this pirate once, and the
> little phreak ran away! I was so pissed I dropped my French toast.
   
A few questions:
    1. With what were you hacking? And why were you using it?
    2. Who was the pirate you were hacking? And why were you hacking
       that particular pirate?
    3. When, exactly, did you do this sidpicable act?
    4. How often do you hack at pirates? And, why don't you do it more
       frequently?
    5. Why, perchance to tell, were you carrying French toast? In what
       were you carrying the toast? How frequently do you bring French
       toast to your pirate-hacking adventures? What is the significance
       of French toast, over... say, a bowl of Cap'n Crunches' Christmas
       Crunch? Why did you not catch the French toast before it reached
       the ground. And, most importantly, what did you do to the
       French toast after it was dropped?
    6. What happened to the pirate after the escapade? Did he seek
       revenge? Or, had he allowed the hacking to take place? Did he
       seek a secret sexual thrill from the experience? Was he paying 
       you for this experience? Or, did you receive the sexual thrill
       from this? Is neither correct?
    7. Why, precisely, was the pirate also a phreak? Had he been a
       phreak before, after, or concurrent to his time of piracy?
       What prompted him to become a phreak or pirate in the first
       place? Had he seen the error of his ways? Has he converted to
       Christianity/ Buddhism/ Wicca/ The Great White Pumpkin?
     
                 ANxiously awaiting,
                   Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: catchy slogans 
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:10:32
Message Number  1156

Ru-426 is only between 90%- 95% effective, as well. The 'pill' is
much more effective, at least.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: CYCLE               
Subject: TECH TALK      
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:14:40
Message Number  1157

Yes, what about you CPM drones?
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: MR. BUSTER          
Subject: Heh, Heh...    
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:16:17
Message Number  1158

> What 'ya feel about hackin', phreakin' and krackin'?
    
    Rather queasy, actually. (Psssst! Ya see that plant over there?
He's recording your every move. If you listen real close, now, you
can hear the Police song "Every Breath You Take." He usually alternates
that with "Private Eyes.")
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: CYBERPUNK           
Subject: life           
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:22:50
Message Number  1159

>what does Awqk mean and how do you pronounce it
   
   Awqk (A*) (interj.) (ME: Awack. OE: Aewacqk) Expressive of the 
feeling that ones auto has been entirely the wrong shade of puke
green for exactly twelve months, fourteen days.
    
   Yarg (yarg) (interj.) (Turtlespeak: Yarg) Expressive of the feeling
that none of the previous information given may have any relation
to reality, surreality, or irreality.
                   Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:28:40
Message Number  1160

Real programmers know how to write their own. Seriously, if you're
interested, I have a book back in WPB (well, two books, actually) that
will give you a fairly complete (and the best-documented in the world!)
assembler. Next time I drop home, I'll bring it back for you -- if
you remind me.
              Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: ANGEL               
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:30:59
Message Number  1161

Dear Angel,
   I, too, subscribed to Omni, but left them when they began to "weird
out" on me. Personally, I think Omni is really aiming for the "New Age"
people more than the scientific community -- it's aiming for pseudo-
science, and trying to make it sound scientific. It's no longer a
magazine that tries to branch science fiction with science fact; it's
now more of a magazine for pseudo-science. (Though I do like their
articles on dreams.)
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SAURON              
Subject: Astral Princess
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:35:06
Message Number  1162

> She has the sexiest voice in Sarasota County...
    
    Oh. Of course. How COULD I have missed this? Silly of me.
(As you know, I'd love to be able to place faces behind the names on
the BBS's... but we've never met.)
                Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject:               
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:37:40
Message Number  1163

>I like cards that are in...uh...well, COLOR.
    
    You mean they don't have colored paper out for the TRS-80?
Sheeeeesh; I knew they were behind, but not THAT far behind... 
Yarg! Yarg!
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:39:29
Message Number  1164

> Astronomy is a branch of Astrology.
     
   Absolutely false. Astrology and astronomy have little, in reality,
to do with each other.
   Astrology was based on the ideas of the heavens before about 1600.
(Actually, well before that... Try the Babylonian times.) It is based
on a geocentric idea of the universe -- the Earth is the center of the 
universe, and everything goes around it. It's not terribly accurate
for predicting the positions of the real planets (especially Pluto,
but also Mercury.) Its predictions for human lives are necessarily
vague. (One of my friends as a birthday present gave me an astrological
chart of myself, and tried to explain how it fit my personality.
Unfortunately, he only knew one the facets of my personality, and his
explanation fit that facet perfectly. It did NOT fit my whole
personality terribly well.)
   Astrology cannot tolerate change; it has remained virtually the same
since the time of the Babylonians. Astronomy continues to change.
Astrology is terrible about predicting positions of planets; astronomy
predicts their positions with near perfection. (Notice I didn't say
total perfection.) Although astronomy pretends to be a science, it is
not. Astronomy is the only science of the two.
     
    "The easiest intelligence test I've ever found: ask someone what
he thinks of astrology."
                   - Lazarus Long.
    
                           Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Astros         
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:48:46
Message Number  1165

> Astrology was first, and some of the ideas in astronomy were taken
> from astrology.
    
   Excellent rebuttal, Spellwind. (Pardon me if I'm dripping sarcasm
on your keyboard...) I agree that astrology is older than astronomy,
and I agree that astronomy stole at least one idea from astrology 
("wisdom can be gazed by studying the stars.") So what?
   I disagree with the idea "Older = better." (I also disagree with
the idea that "Progress = good." Some new ideas, shouldn't survive,
and some old ideas should be scrapped.) Do we farm by the same methods
our forefathers used? Do we still use whale-oil in lanterns to read
at night? Do we still write with quill and ink?
                Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: ARTIMUS             
Subject: HI             
Date & Time: 01/04/90 11:54:23
Message Number  1166

Well, hello, howdy, and pleeeeeeeeezed ta meetcha! Doin' just fine,
just fine. How'z the wife and kids? Sit down, sit down... you're among
friends! Care for a lemonade? An orangeade? A serenade?
   We're jes' friendly ol' folk here on aLTER rEALITY who love to
debate with each other. There's only been a little blood lost, and
only a few wars have been started; but we really love each other,
deep down inside.
    Join in with the discussions -- Don't be shy! -- and, most of all,
have fun!
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Gods/Religion  
Date & Time: 01/04/90 12:02:54
Message Number  1168

If you see the Buddha on the road, kill him for me.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/04/90 15:49:28
Message Number  1169

Whoops...silly me.  I really hate when I confuse the goddess of the hunt
with the god of lunch meats.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: ......         
Date & Time: 01/04/90 15:55:44
Message Number  1170

Rufus enters the small room, looking around for Turtle.  He spots him
in the corner screaming for some more Mountain Dew.  He walks over
to the reptile.  "Hiya Turtle, how's it going."  Turtle notices the
evil grin on Rufus' face and says "Don't tell me you let another non-
furry read 'Satisfaction' and look at Lance Rund art."  "Well, not
exactly, I went to my mail box this afternoon and found this."  Rufus
reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a tape with the word CALART
on it.  Turtle's eyes widen, looking like he's just seen a furry version
of Christy Brinkly and starts jumping up and down several times.
 
This scene brought to you by the "I have the tape and you don't, so 
naaa!" foundation.
 
Well, me and Fester stocking up on food this weekend and are going to 
watch the tape.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/04/90 17:14:40
Message Number  1172

>And Diane is one of the names of the Triple Goddess as well.
 
And the name of an English teacher I had in high school once. I have it
on personal knowledge that it's not Darth Vader's nickname, though.
Nor is it the name of a type of beverage containing apple juice, nor is
it the code name for novice CIA agents. It also isn't a breakfast food,
a modem protocol, or a best-selling book by Isaac Asimov.
                    --An irrelevant Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/04/90 17:18:04
Message Number  1173

>Real programmers know how to write their own.
 
Real programmers can assemble programs by hand. (Hey, don't laugh,
I've actually done it. Didn't feel like breaking out my assembler, so
I wrote a short program in machine language directly on disk with a
sector editor. I don't remember the whole thing, but I DO remember it
started  01 82 26 00 3E 08 ... )
Seriously, though, the guy who wrote the CP/M version of UUCP really did
write an assembler for it...he said all the commercially available CP/M
assemblers didn't have powerful enough library features. So it goes.
(Did you know when the CDC Cyber 7600--the very first true supercomputer
ever--was first powered on, Seymour Cray toggled in the bootstrap
program with front panel switches from memory? Seymour Cray is a Real
Programmer.)
                        --A real programmer Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: <///>          
Date & Time: 01/04/90 17:23:57
Message Number  1174

>You mean they don't have colored paper out for the TRS-80?
 
Well, I've seen it for MS-DOS; the box it comes in stands four feet high
and it only contains twelve sheets. You also need Option #GLCS-1102322,
IBM Colored Paper Interface Adapter, to use it (available at extra
cost). Of course, the Colored Paper Interface Adapter requires that you
have at least 1 megabyte of RAM installed on your motherboard and only
accepts four different colors, and it takes up an AT expansion slot...
                     --An eight-bit and proud Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: ......         
Date & Time: 01/04/90 17:27:45
Message Number  1175

Turtle suddenly gets a sly look on his sauroid features, and he says
"You have the Cal Arts tape, hmm? Well, I still know where your copy
of Heavy Metal is. If you want to see it alive again, you'll put that
aardvark down and carefully consider your future actions..."
 
(c) 1990 ACME Tape Disposal Services, Inc.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/04/90 18:28:18
Message Number  1176

 Will you shut the fuck up and be serious a while!
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/04/90 19:40:46
Message Number  1177

Turtle, all the schools are getting new computer systems.  All I know
is they are called AS/400.  The one part I saw looked like one of those
systems in the 'tower' design.  Know anything about 'em?
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: ......         
Date & Time: 01/04/90 19:42:43
Message Number  1178

Rufus gets a look on his face that says "a large brick just materialized
in my shorts."  Rufus, giving his toothy insurance salesman school grin,
says "Well, we'll have to get together sometime and make you a copy of
this little gem."  Rufus stares at THE WALL and comments "Gee, I'd like
to go to BRAZIL sometime."
 
     Rufus walks away, waving Turtle to follow him. They walk over to a
door on the opposite wall.  The door, which has a sign over it thats
reads "EXIT STORY HERE", opens when Rufus punches in a number on the
white security pad.
 
Turtle, I got to watch part of the tape.  It's a copy of the tape that
was shown at Necro.  It's not too bad in quality (seeing how it is kinda
darkish to begin with), but could use some 'cleaning up'(if they make 
such an electronic beast).  We will get together sometime.  I may
be gone this weekend, and maybe next weekend.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 00:42:03
Message Number  1180

>Will you shut the fuck up and be serious for a while!
 
I beg your pardon? I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt here
and assume someone hacked your password to leave that post. I would
hope it wasn't you who told the sysop of a bulletin board you use to
"shut the fuck up." In addition to being unspeakably rude, since you
ARE in essence a guest in my house when you call here, it's also pretty
damn stupid to tell a person who runs a BBS what he can and can't talk
about. I suggest you learn some tact before a sysop who's less tolerant
than I am cans your fucking account for being a fucking idiot. Is that
fucking serious enough for you?
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/05/90 00:48:22
Message Number  1181

AS/400? Never heard of it. Gods, it sounds like some ghastly Mush-DOS
386 machine or something. Yikes! I'd hope the state of Florida wouldn't
force its students to learn programming on some IBM clone or some
such useless thing. There's too many people already who've been brain-
washed into thinking that Mush-DOS machines are good for something.
                     --A "Down with Mush!" Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: ......         
Date & Time: 01/05/90 00:51:03
Message Number  1182

Hmm. I won't be around for part of this weekend; I'm heading for Ft.
Myers on Sunday to visit some friends, and won't be back until quite
late. Give me a call (by modem or voice) sometime to let me know when
you'll be around, preferably beforehand, since I'm generally difficult
to track down on weekends.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ALL                 
Subject: TCG            
Date & Time: 01/05/90 00:56:11
Message Number  1183

Ray Hines has graciously uploaded the latest edition of The Telecomputer
Generalist, an electronic newsletter containing articles of interest
to BBS users and computer users in general. This month's TCG is
largely devoted to the issue of computers, bulletin boards, and the
law. For example, did you know that hacking into someone else's account
on a BBS is a third degree felony, or that E-mail on a BBS is protected
by privacy laws the same way Post Office mail is? I highly recommend
downloading a copy to anyone who regularly uses bulletin board systems.
The file is available in compressed .ZIP format; if you don't have a
DeZIP program available and want an uncompressed copy, let me know and
I'll make one available.
                      --A telecomputing Turtle
===========

From: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Jolly Roger    
Date & Time: 01/05/90 01:14:25
Message Number  1184

THE TAPE has both The Fox and the Hound and 101 Dalmations on it, and
strangely, this tape is still in my posession since I've been out of
town since the 15th of the last month of last year... but anyway, that
should go back to its owner soon (uncopied).  I really would like to
see Fox/Hound on a letterbox prerecorded tape, though.
 
Anyone know off-hand if Disney has their animated Robin Hood on tape
available?  I don't see it in their catalog, but have heard that it is
(was) out (maybe just for rental? limited time release? something?).
===========

From: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Disney Releases
Date & Time: 01/05/90 01:17:48
Message Number  1185

Just as a note, I found the name of the next scheduled theatre release.
THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER, to be followed by BEAUTY AND THE BEAST the
following year.  I hear they are supposed to re-release FANTASIA in the
theatres later this year, but that's still unconfirmed.  I have no clue
as to what we can expect out on tape next....
===========

From: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
To: CORWYN OF AMBER     
Subject: Wizards        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 01:25:24
Message Number  1186

I'll hafta look for that one of these days (actually, I haven't really
rented a movie in ages).  There is no lack of movie rental houses here.
===========

From: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: AND RUFUS      
Date & Time: 01/05/90 01:31:25
Message Number  1187

Now there's an odd way to double-address a message (a feature sadly
lacking in many BBS packages).  Uh... oh yeah.
 
I talked to Juan Alfonso this evening (he sais "Hello" to the gang,
by the way, Chip, Watts) and he mentioned the Cal Arts tape he sent
to Rufus (which I think I should have a copy of... it should be waiting
for me when I show up sometime next week).  He sent me a package, but
having omitted the last digit of my Box number, he got it back (today)
(grumble).  He's sending a larger one with some "suprise" stuff from
some of his other artist friends.  (Which reminds me... I should be
receiving a box of YARF's from Lance rather soon.)
 
I also need a copy of Heavy Metal... and Rock & Rule... and the Tex
Avery tape... and The Wall (anyone have that?) -- hell, maybe I should
just bring a pack of twenty blank tapes down there to that tape duping
place you mentioned....
 
I've now added Bambi, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and The Land Before Time
to my collection of originals (Christmas presents... I got three Roger
Rabbits).  Keep furry.
===========

From: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: The AS/400     
Date & Time: 01/05/90 01:37:17
Message Number  1188

Why, yes I do actually.  (I know, I'm not Turtle, but what the hell.)
 
Actually, I have a dungheap of literature on it from IBM (they think
I like them or something inane like that so they send me lots of stuff,
including an AIX/RT demo diskette that made a nice new blank floppy).
Basically, it not in the least bit IBMPC compatible, but rather a true
IBM box, running under OS/400, an OS slightly less evil that system/36.
The name, by the way, stands for Application System ### (typically
exciting and creative IBM nominclature).  They come in all sorts of
versions with varying degrees of utility (from none at all to moderate)
CHAT terminated\ ridiculously high to even worse).  Actually, it's a
really nifty looking box they come in.
===========

From: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Programming?   
Date & Time: 01/05/90 01:43:41
Message Number  1189

You mean they're spending money on the AS/400 to teach PROGRAMMING?
Gods...
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Astromush      
Date & Time: 01/05/90 03:02:51
Message Number  1190

Oh, Turtle, you have ruined my evening!  One of the stars in Orion is
most likely dead?  Damn, and I didn't even send flowers.  Which one?
Did he leave much family behind?  Is there a fund we can donations to?
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: TCG            
Date & Time: 01/05/90 03:12:21
Message Number  1191

Put me on the list for an unZIPped version of the newsletter.  I just
don't have any ZIP in my life.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: ---            
Date & Time: 01/05/90 03:17:41
Message Number  1192

  It's about time you got fucking serious!
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ALL                 
Subject: ???            
Date & Time: 01/05/90 12:15:12
Message Number  1193

  Why has the Wyvern's Den been busy all day today?
===========

From: SAURON              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 12:49:49
Message Number  1194

   Although, it seems to me that the second lead role on the old 60's TV
series "The Wild Wild West" was also named Artemis, and he was decidedly
male. Go figure.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 12:52:04
Message Number  1195

  Diana, not Diane. Phillistine!
===========

From: SAURON              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 12:52:56
Message Number  1196

   Et Tu Spellwind?  My ex's name is Diane and she'd be horrified to be
confused with a pagan goddess. (Diana)
===========

From: SAURON              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 12:56:54
Message Number  1197

   Do you have any idea what you're asking?  Personally, I'd rather be
poached in Diet Pepsi while being forced to watch Jane Fonda movies than
to be se... ser... the S word.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 13:00:46
Message Number  1198

   As an old gent named Macintosh might say...
   "Waaaaaaannnnnnnnkkkk!"
===========

From: SAURON              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: ---            
Date & Time: 01/05/90 13:04:07
Message Number  1199

  You have some kind of deathwish, Spellwind, or are you tapping into 
the silly-sauce at 3 in the morning? (an activity I've been known to 
indulge in from time to time.. (but I have an excuse - I'm Irish)
===========

From: SAURON              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: capital revenge
Date & Time: 01/05/90 13:09:31
Message Number  1200

  I don't deal in relevance. Simply smart-ass emotional jargon. Except
on those rare occassions when being S...... (the S word)
===========

From: SAURON              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Women          
Date & Time: 01/05/90 13:12:05
Message Number  1201

  It's tempting to give a 9-paragraph reply to that message, but would 
be far too tiresome.  What with Fem Lib, NOW, Alan Alda, TV in general,
Oprah, Sally Jesse, M.A.D.D, and a constant bombardment 24 hours a day
from all sides attempting to complete the emasculation of the American 
Male; I think maybe at least a small whisper ought to be heard in 
retaliation.
  If anyone wants to think of me as the ultimate Chauvinist pig - fine.
Actually I kind of relish the notoriety. ( I mean, who wants to be 
AVERAGE)  
  The fact is, I was happily married for 19 years, have enjoyed the 
company of quite a few ladies since divorcing, have a great relationship
with my ex-wife, have a daughter who is my chief pride and joy, have a
sister who I both love and respect, and am continually in a state of 
lust to meet more persons of the female persuasion. (not for conquest -
but because I LIKE WOMEN)
  Does that give you an idea where I'm coming from? I sure hope so.
  Having said all that, you can look for zero change in any outrageous
statements I might make on this subject. It's a terrible burden to have 
to be the advocate for vanishing male honor but hey - someone's got to 
do it.{
===========

From: SAURON              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/05/90 13:32:16
Message Number  1202

  Yeah, maybe, but when you look at the typical rack and see all the 
wrestling, fashion, buildin A Frames in oregon, Guns Monthly, Chrome 
Muffler, Make-up, Cracked, etc. stuff jumping out at you...it makes
Omni look pretty good by comparison.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/05/90 13:36:38
Message Number  1203

  Quit being so S word. There's no conceivable way Spellwind was being
S word with that post. Astrology is about as scientific as a coin-toss 
to decide a war.  Maybe that was a bad example; that's a pretty GOOD way
to decide a war.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Astros         
Date & Time: 01/05/90 13:39:55
Message Number  1204

  Leaping asteroids! The lad WAS being (S word)!
The only thing astronomy and astrology have in common is you have to 
look up in the sky when engaged in either.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: SAURON              
Subject: ---            
Date & Time: 01/05/90 14:52:29
Message Number  1206

  I'm Scots-Irish, so there!
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: ALL (THIS MEANS YOU)
Subject: Please read!!! 
Date & Time: 01/05/90 15:16:00
Message Number  1207

   Every 2.5 minutes a dolphin is killed!  For some unknown reason the
huge yellowfin tuna, also known as "chunk light tuna" in the little 
round cans at your local grocery store, swim beneath the schools of 
dolphins (dolphins stay together in "families").  The canneries pay a 
premium for yellowfin tuna, because they are cheaper to process.  So,
for the last three decades fishermen have used a method known as "set-
ting nets on dolphins" to catch them.  The fishermen spot the dolphins 
leaping above the waves, round them up, capture them in nets a mile
long and 100 feet deep, throw out the dolphins and keep the tuna.  Some
of the dolphins drown, some are killed by the boats, some fatally injure
themselves trying to escape, and most of the few who do escape die from
the shock of being separated from their school or from exhaustion.
   In 1972 the Marine Mammal Protection Act excepted the tuna industry,
in 1976, when a lawsuit forced the fishery service to determine the 
status of the dolphin population, the figures were falsified (proven
fact! not paranoid rhetoric), and in 1981 Congress set a "kill quota"
on dolphins at 20,5000 annually (the foreign fleet kills an estimated
100,000 plus).  A "body count" on marine mammals...another undeclared
war.
  Keep in mind that only 95% of the world's tuna is caught WITHOUT
"setting nets on dolphins!"  We are exterminating a species for 5%
of our total tuna consumption!
   PLEASE DO NOT BUY OR EAT CHUNK LIGHT TUNA!!! I know it is more 
expensive to buy albacore/fancy white tuna but isn't it worth it?
If you would like to express your opinion to some of those responsible:
  Mr Anthony J.F. O'Reilly, Chairman,President,& CEO, H.J. Heinz Co.,
P O Box 57, Pittsburgh, PA
  Mr William Stiritz, Chairman & CEO, Ralston Purina Co., Checker-
board Square, St Louis, MO 63164.
For more info contact: Center for Marine Conservation
                       PO Box 96003
                       Washington, DC 20077-7172
Thanks for reading. Now DO something, please!
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: SAURON              
Subject: Oz             
Date & Time: 01/05/90 15:42:57
Message Number  1208

I know this discussion was a while ago but, just for the record, 
Ballantine lost a bundle on that printing of the Oz books.  I was the
manager of a bookstore at the time and we couldnt give 'em away!  But
you're right about the cover art - magnificent!  
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Mists of Avalon
Date & Time: 01/05/90 15:47:17
Message Number  1209

Have you ever READ _The Once And Future King_ by White?  You couldnt
prefer Bradley over that...could you?
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: The Subject    
Date & Time: 01/05/90 15:53:36
Message Number  1210

Youre finished explaining astrology?  Did I miss something?  Very neat
sidestep there Spellwind.  The only thing I've read so far is that you
know what Buddha's name is (which only proves you may have an Encyclo-
pedia up to the B's in your house somewhere).  Answer the question, pal!
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/05/90 16:09:11
Message Number  1211

No, these are for the staff to use.  And I saw several items marked 
IBM, including a 2400 baud modem about the size of..well, lemme say it
was a big modem.  Our computer lab is MS-DOS stuff, and I got to
take Pascal ( the language from hell ) on IBMs ( the computer from
hell ).  I may not know programming, but I know what I don't like.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Mists of Avalon
Date & Time: 01/05/90 17:53:51
Message Number  1212

 The way the story is written in Mists makes it better to ME if noone
else.
.
.
..
..
...
...
....
....
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: TCG            
Date & Time: 01/05/90 20:11:55
Message Number  1213

>I just don't have any ZIP in my life.
 
What? You mean you don't have the complete collection of archiving
programs instantly available (you know, PKARC, PKPAK, PKZIP, PKCHOKE,
PKDIE)? I'm afraid your name has been submitted to the special
Meese Commission Subcommittee for Investigation of Failure to Conform
to the Latest MS-DOS Fads, and you will be expected to justify your
lack of conformity and status as an IBM Zombie...
 
Anyway, I will put the unZIPped version up some time in the next few
days. It's about 120K long, though, so I'd rather not leave it online
indefinitely. It also will take about half an hour to download with
XModem, so don't d/l it when you're in a hurry.
                     --An obliging Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SAURON              
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/05/90 20:16:54
Message Number  1214

>Diana, not Diane. Phillistine!
 
Philistine, not Phillistine. Hun!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Please read!!! 
Date & Time: 01/05/90 20:21:55
Message Number  1215

Hear that, people? Now quit sitting on your asses and DO something!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/05/90 20:23:17
Message Number  1216

>I got to take PASCAL ( the language from hell ) on IBMs ( the computer
>from hell ).
 
Cheer up, it could have been worse. You could have been learning RPGII
on a system/36 under SSP, the most evil, vile, festering, hideous
mound of dung masquerading as an operating system I've ever seen in my
life. SSP makes MS-DOS look downright useful. A typical SSP command
is an incipherable acronym followed by a dozen commas and non-sensical
parameters, but at least there are a whole bunch of commands that
don't do very much. Plus it comes on thirteen eight-inch disks, and
the last version I installed had five disks' worth of "Program Temporary
Fixes" (translation: bug patches) that didn't fix all the bugs. It's
pretty amazing; when the manual starts talking about using MSRJE
(Multi-Station Remote Job Entry--ie, the modem program) under DSPT
(Display Station Pass-Through), you want to throw the entire heap
of garbage out the window...which is probably why the machine is
about the size of a small refrigerator and weighs a thousand pounds.
Lord knows it's not even as powerful as a microVAX 3100 that sits
on a desk. Oh well, I'm rambling. I'll stop now, and let you count
your blessings.
                      --A computer-literate Turtle
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Zipless        
Date & Time: 01/06/90 02:05:49
Message Number  1217

Thanks ever, oh obliging Turtle!  The nice man from the Meese 
Commission visited.  I was fined for having only archaic ARC.  Gee, for
the good old days of BBSing (I've been indulging in rampant BBS
behavior for 'bout 8 months... Gee, the good old days keep getting
closer all the time).  Seems just this past summer, you only needed
one program to archive and de-archive.  Made it very friendly when
calling all the BBSs.  Now, every board has a different format and
some mix them, forcing you to keep dozens of versions of programs you
don't use!  Moan, whine, whimper!
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: SAURON              
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/06/90 14:28:51
Message Number  1218

Actually, Spellwind /was/ being quite s*r***s with his astrological
beliefs, or at least he seems to believe he is.
===========

From: RAVEN               
To: *:*.*               
Subject: YARG!          
Date & Time: 01/06/90 16:18:13
Message Number  1220

What, I fail to call for 6 days and there are 100+ new messages?  Some
on (gods forbid) s****** topics!!!  What is this board coming to?  At
least someone, who we all know and (ahem) love chose to spew on about
astrology!
   YARG!
 
By the way Turtle, you should really finish that story.
 
    -R-
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: *              
Date & Time: 01/06/90 18:32:11
Message Number  1221

The Telecomputer Generalist is now available for downloading in .ARC
format. The .ZIP file has been taken off-line; if anyone wants this
file ZIPped, let me know and I'll put it back on-line. I'd rather not
have both versions on-line at once...
                     --A helpful Turtle
Me? I like .LBR--call me deviant.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Beliefs        
Date & Time: 01/06/90 21:06:47
Message Number  1222

 I'm serious in all my beliefs.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: RAVEN               
Subject: YARG!          
Date & Time: 01/06/90 21:07:54
Message Number  1223

  What in the goddesses name is wrong with astrology!!!
   I hope you don't feel this was about Tarot, because I'm even more
 serious about it.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: *              
Date & Time: 01/07/90 01:13:53
Message Number  1224

Thanks for the .ARC version of the Generalist.  I'll be attempting to
download it after reading messages, but machine is actin' up again...
might not be able to get it (and, yes, I'll have the problem fixed
early this week, at long last!)
   By the way, what is the .LBR format?  How is it different from all
the other weird formats that seem to be breeding at a frightening
rate?  (And if the explanation is overly complicated, don't bother,
I'm really not that interested in the nuts-and-bolts aspect).
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Tarot          
Date & Time: 01/07/90 01:17:18
Message Number  1225

Oh, goodie!  I was just waiting for someone to bring up Tarot!  Now,
are you going to give us a good explanation for the validity of
Tarot Cards?
   Personally, I like Nordic runes.  They are a truly useful divining
tool... if you don't like the reader's interpretaton, the stones can
be used as a weapon against her.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 01:30:58
Message Number  1226

I was looking at a catalog for UCF, and they said one credit of computer
programing in high school would be helpful, esp. if it was FORTRAN.  I
wanna know how many high schools teach FORTRAN.  I've talked to several
people, all of whom got stuck with Pascal.  Just how bad it FORTRAN
compared to Pascal?
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Zipless        
Date & Time: 01/07/90 01:33:10
Message Number  1227

Funny thing happened to me one time.  I wanted this game off a BBS.
This game was packed, so I had to obtain the unpacker.  Well, seems the
packer was also packed.  So I had to unpack a packer to unpack a game.
I'm glad it was a pretty good game, otherwise I would killed something.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Tarot          
Date & Time: 01/07/90 01:36:03
Message Number  1228

I like those 8-balls you can buy that has the little multi-sided thing
inside with answers like YES, NO, MAYBE, ONLY IF YOUR NOSE IS PURPLE.
They rank up there with my horoscope.  "You will have problems with a 
partner today."  Gee, what kinda partner??  Oh well, I guess I'm just
a skeptic.  After having Santa, the tooth fairie, the Great Pumpkin, and
the Easter Bunny dashed to bits, I have a right to be a skeptic.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Divination     
Date & Time: 01/07/90 05:00:41
Message Number  1230

  I have the runes and Runecards, so they don't break.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: ......         
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:10:41
Message Number  1232

Shadowed by the darkness of the bar, the unicorn was unseen by the two.
He walks over (carefully!), and glances at the tape. "Sorry," he says,
"but I couldn't help noticing your conversation. What is this?" pointing
with his horn to the tape.
                  Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:14:04
Message Number  1233

Dear Turtle,
   If you're a "real programmer Turtle," why don't you toggle in some
interesting programs on Colonel Dave?
      Yarg! Yarg! Yarg!
               Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: <///>          
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:15:54
Message Number  1234

Yes, but what's your point?
          Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:18:19
Message Number  1235

Dear Turtle,
   My old high school used TRS-80's to train their students. Gods!
Cured me of ever wanting to use them again...
   Yarg! Yarg! Yarg!
              Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
Subject: Disney Releases
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:21:05
Message Number  1236

Whenever they re-release Fantasia to the theatres, we MUST have a 
"furry fest" gallop out to see it! FILL an unsuspecting movie theatre 
with furry fans...
                  Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SAURON              
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:27:47
Message Number  1237

>Astrology is about as scientific as a coin-toss to decide a war.
   
  Who ever used astrology to decide a war? Might have been used to
decide when to start the war... or where... but they still lost.
            Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SAURON              
Subject: Astros         
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:30:09
Message Number  1238

Dear Sauron,
   Not really. Astrolgy uses an idealized version of the "planets" --
employing little or no looking at the REAL positions of where one is.
For example, try to ask some astrologer what exactly ones "sign"
means. And be very insistant on asking for real information.
               Chip P. Unicorn
   
P.S. If he won't say, I will.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:35:01
Message Number  1239

There are nothing wrong with either IBM's or Pascal. That is, it 
depends what you're comparing them to.
           Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Please read!!! 
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:36:29
Message Number  1240

> ...quit sitting on your asses and DO something!
   
   Did I miss something? The purpose of Yngling's message was supposed
to be to NOT do something: buy chunk light tuna. First, we're supposed
to sit on our asses and not do something, then we're supposed to do
something. What? Buy chunk light tuna?
               The irreverent Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: YARG!          
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:40:28
Message Number  1241

Dear Spellwind,
   Okay! That's it! That quote did it! THIS MEANS WAR!
    
> What in the goddesses name is wrong with astrology!!!!
    
   Gee, I'm glad you asked. There are many things wrong with it.
   First of all, what does one's "sign" mean? If you are an educated
astrologer, you would say that due to the planet revolving around the
sun, the sun appears to travel through a portion of the constellations
called the zodiac. Whichever constellation of the zodiac the sun was
in when you were born, you'd say, is one's "sign."
   Okay, I'd reply, that was the original intention of astrology.
Unfortunately, the "days" which the signs correspond to were determined
more than two thousand years ago. Since then, the sun has seemed to
shift position, and where the sun is in relation to the constellations
has changed. In other words, one's sign really has less than nothing
to do with the original idea.
   Less than nothing? Yes. If one had nothing to do with the other, then
occasionally they'd be aligned: ones "sun sign" would occasionally 
match where the sun really was. This is now impossible.
   This is true for ALL of the other signs: if you claim that the 
moon was in Libra when you were born, it really would have been in
another sign (probably Virgo.) 
    
   Okay, what's my point? Simply this: astrology isn't even self-
consistant. It doesn't deal with real planets; it only deals with
imaginary ones. Even if a "mysterious force" eminated from the planets
which could determine our lives, astrology hasn't found it. It's too
busy dealing with imaginary planets.
   (This is entirely due to having formed astrology several thousand
years ago... and not having changed one iota of it, since.)
                     Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Tarot          
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:53:04
Message Number  1242

Dear Angel,
   I'm not so strongly opposed against either the Tarot or the I Ching
as I am against astrologt. The Tarot and I Ching are fabulous for
calming a person down, and forcing him to look at his problem in a 
different light. They're too general to try to specify exact routes
to try -- all they do is give a random message which one's intuition
can try to make into something coherent. Their real value is forcing
one to stop and think before acting.
   Notice I didn't say that there's any mystical power behind them.
                   Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 13:57:30
Message Number  1243

Dear Rufus,
   Fortran isn';t that bad of a language. Basically, it's a precursor
to BASIC that was extremely useful for working with math formulae. If
you speak BASIC, you should be able to read Fortran with no problems.
                   Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: LBR            
Date & Time: 01/07/90 14:04:04
Message Number  1244

.LBR is one of the very first archiving formats. It's dramatically
different from ARK, ZOO, PAK, ZIP, etc, etc, in that a library
file is structured kinda like a "virtual disk"--it has space reserved
in the file for a directory, and stores files in the library the same
way files are stored on a disk. ARChives et al store the files as a
linked list...each file's header is stored immediately after the file
before it.
   The .LBR format is less flexible han ARC, etc, because there's a
limit to the number of files you can put in a library. (I believe .LBR
directories only have room for 128 files...some limitation.) On the
other hand, you can get a directory of a library without scanning
the entire library; all you need to do is look at the directory. Also,
if a file in a library is damaged, only that file is lost; if a file
in an archive is damaged, frequently an unarchiving program will not
be able to locate the start of the file after the damaged one, so
all of the remaining files in the archive are also lost. Finally,
to clinch the argument in favor of .LBR, there are Z-system utilities
like VLU (Visual Library Utility)--a screen-oriented, powerful, point-
and-shoot library and file management utility that simply has no
equivalent in the ARC-ZIP-PAK-CHOKE-DIE world. (There are .LBR
programs available for VMS, MS-DOS, UNIX, etc, but for the most part
they're bad--about at the level the CP/M programs were when file
archiving was a brand-new idea.) 
                    --An LBR Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 14:18:16
Message Number  1245

>Just how bad is FORTRAN compared to Pascal?
 
It isn't. No comparison at all. FORTRAN can actually be used for real-
world applications outside the sterile world of CompSci classes; Pascal
generally can't. FORTRAN is the first high-level language ever, and at
first glance doesn't seem that powerful (it reads like a brain-damaged
dialect of BASIC); however, it allows variable types like complex
numbers, recursion, subroutines with parameter passing, and other
generally neat-O things. It's also infinitely more flexible than Pascal,
doesn't require everything to be forward-declared, doesn't require you
to declare all your variables beforehand, and allows for some amazingly
efficient code. A skilled programmer can also use FORTRAN to modify the
operating system in a mainframe environment, do direct device I/O and
direct memory swapping, and other tricks that would make Niklaus Wirth
foam at the mouth and come chasing after you with a meat cleaver,
despite the fact that these are all things a computer program might want
to do. The Voyager and Viking spacecraft were both guided by very large
FORTRAN programs (in the case of the Voyagers, their guidance systems
alone were over two million lines of FORTRAN code).  If you're
really curious, download the file REAL.TXT from here (I think that's
what it's called; the file about "Real Programmers Don't Use PASCAL.")
                     --An anti-Wirth (Wirth-less?) Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 14:25:52
Message Number  1246

>My old high school used TRS-80's to train their students. Gods!
>Cured me of ever wanting to use them again. Yarg! Yarg!
 
Unfortunately, that is absolutely true, and not uncommon. I've talked
to a /large number/ of people who say something along the lines of "Eew!
You have a TRS-80? My high school BASIC class used Model III's. Those
computers suck! Yuck! Get away!" It's the same sort of reaction you
see in people who won't use an Amiga because they've used Commodore 64's
before and figure the Amiga must be the same sort of computer.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 14:29:24
Message Number  1247

>There are [sic] nothing wrong with either IBM's...
 
Except that they're expensive, inflexible, slow computers that don't
take full advantage of their microprocessors and have a really bad
operating system.
 
>...or Pascal.
 
Except that it's so structured it's anal retentive, it's not very
powerful, it's inflexible and awkward to use, it has no string handling
ability to speak of, its language specs call for an inefficient one-
pass non-optimizing compiler, and it's really difficult to imagine
using it to do any sort of serious programming. In whole, a language
ideally suited to IBM computers.
 
What's your point?
                  --A <real> hacker Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Please read!!! 
Date & Time: 01/07/90 14:33:07
Message Number  1248

Dear Chip,
 
>Did I miss something?
 
Yes. Did you read ALL of Yngling's message? I suggest you get in the
habit of reading the entire message before you respond to it. Go back
and try again.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: FORTRAN        
Date & Time: 01/07/90 14:34:40
Message Number  1249

>Basically, it's a precursor to BASIC...
 
Since when? FORTRAN was intended to be a compiled, highly scientific,
technical language. BASIC was designed as an interpreted beginner's
language. Other than the fact that both languages are fairly easy to
understand, there's no real relation between the two.
 
>...that was extremely useful for reading math formulae.
 
And still is.
By the way, this bulletin board software was written in FORTRAN.
                    --A historian Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ALL                 
Subject: aLTER rEALITY  
Date & Time: 01/07/90 14:38:15
Message Number  1250

Well, gang, my message base is filling up again. At this rate, I
expect to see a
MESSAGE BASE FULL. MESSAGE PARTIALLY SAVED.
                pop up sometime this week. Therefore, it seems I have
no choice but to get off my lazy butt and start doing some system main-
tenance and stuff. *sigh* Anyway, the BBS will likely be down for
maintenance and message base purging and neat stuff like that sometime
tonight or tomorrow.
Thank you for your support.
                       --A reluctant Turtle
===========

From: CYBERPUNK           
To: ALL                 
Subject: bbs            
Date & Time: 01/07/90 16:46:18
Message Number  1251

new bbs up!!  it was once Damage Inc. BBS!!! now it's.....
 H Y P E R C O M P!!!!!!!
Call now!!!  813-371-0888
300/1200 baud
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: ......         
Date & Time: 01/07/90 17:02:53
Message Number  1252

(o.k. so it's a bit late, but what the hey )
Rufus spins around to face the unicorn, at the same time covering the
sacred tape.  "This, my fine furred friend, is a tape of a whole bunch
of pencil tests done by Cal Arts students.  It was shown at Necronomicon
and will be shown at the next RufusCon." Rufus proclaims.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Disney Releases
Date & Time: 01/07/90 17:05:25
Message Number  1253

>FILL an unsuspecting movie theatre with furry fans...
That thought makes me shudder (and stutter, but I do that all the time
anyways).  We could tape picture on the outside of the door to keep non-
furries away.  Now, what pictures.  Maybe...Lance Rund?
:)
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 17:08:10
Message Number  1254

They rank above having dental work performed on you with Black & Decker
power tools.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: YARG!          
Date & Time: 01/07/90 17:11:13
Message Number  1255

Now Chip, you havn't looked at the positive contributions made by
Astrology.
1) It gives you the horoscope, which files up space in the paper.  What
would they have there otherwise?  A really skinny comic going down?
2) It gave the world a wonderful pick-up line. ( I'm glad I wasn't 
around for that ).
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 17:15:24
Message Number  1256

Wow, kinda like Basic, and useful.  That's why school doesn't offer it!
Well, thanks for all the info.  I just hated Pascal.  I think it 
worsened my speech problem!  :)  ( o.k., so it didn't, but I always had 
this urge to organize pencils...)
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 18:26:52
Message Number  1258

Although to be fair, FORTRAN sucks eggs compared to BASIC for doing
string-intensive work (yes, I know there are languages better than that
than BASIC is, but they're usually weaker than BASIC on math, harder to
use and at any rate, aren't from the same era--FORTRAN and BASIC both
are very close in age).
    That considered, you have to wonder if Patrick MacDonald--not to
mention Crowthers and Woods--are Real Masochist Programmers, or just
brain-damaged.  Hard to think of more string-intensive applications
than a BBS and Original Adventure....
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: RUFUS               
Subject: 8 ball         
Date & Time: 01/07/90 18:51:12
Message Number  1259

Oh, I'd forgotten all about those wonderful fortune-telling-eight-balls!
I loved those as a kid.  I wonder if they still make them?
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 21:10:52
Message Number  1260

SOunds spiffy-keen....Ican do was assemble-less people do...USE
BASIC to assemble...
 
1 POKE15,8:POKE162,7:POKE2843,9
2 PEEK(158):POKE158,X
 
Sounds nifty to me!  heheheh
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 21:14:29
Message Number  1261

ACK!  My school got a few 386's with VGA for $3000 each...they got
a 16 bit data-path with a 32 bit chip!  Anyways, all this IBM junkies
in the programming class are gawking over the VGA, and I'm like, sheesh
My C=128 get's better graphics than that!  And their like, why do you
always have to put down IBMs?  I'm I'm saying "because they are junk, 
and they deserve to be put down, and fools like you need to learn some-
thing about REAL computers."  ANyways, my teacher says that if Ikeep
putting down IBMs, She's gonna'give me a detention for insubordiance
(sp)......That's funny!
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: BARTHOLOMEW FOX     
Subject: Programming?   
Date & Time: 01/07/90 21:18:03
Message Number  1262

BART!  WHen do Iget me MSTF appliaction!?!?!?!?!?!
 
REMOTE CONTROL! #1 - 378-2218 - 300/1200 Baud
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: 8 ball         
Date & Time: 01/07/90 22:05:12
Message Number  1263

Lesse, I picked one up about 8 years ago.  I think I've seen them around
in stores.  They now make those electronic ones which have 6-8 lights
and next to the lights are YES, NO, MAYBE, etc. etc.  I figure if it's
electronic, it /has/ to be right.  :)
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 22:07:13
Message Number  1264

Gee, $3000 each.  And what will be done on them.  Pascal and Logo??
hehe...I think the best thing we have in our lab is a set of Legos 
and an interface to hook it to an Apple.  The language to talk to the
interface is Logo (yuck!), but it's still pretty neat.  They have motors
and optosensors which can detect light/no light and tell if something is
white or black.  And they have normal pushbutton switches.
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/07/90 23:11:43
Message Number  1265

Actually, VGA graphics /are/ pretty good, it's just that most of the
software out there doesn't take advantage of it.  In resolution and
color it's pretty close to the Amiga (around 640x400 resolution, often
up to 800x600, w/256 colors out of 4096 on-screen at once [I suspect
the hardware can do a hold-and-modify mode--almost every computer with
that type of graphics processor can--but knowing MS-DOS designers, they
probably didn't leave any way to get to it from software]).  It falls
flat on its face compared to the Amiga when it comes to update speed,
which is probably why nobody makes games for VGA.  (As to why nobody
makes games for EGA, which is somewhere inbetween a 128 and an Amiga and
is about as fast as a 128, well, because they're stupid?).
    Of course, a bozo thing about VGA is that most of them have all
sorts of neat extended modes, but every company's products use different
extended modes so almost nobody writes software to use them, except for
one or two paint programs.
    Another neat bozo IBM "upgrade": the Apple II has a sound board
called the Mockingboard that adds 16-voice stereo sounds, and about 95%
of the games for the Apple made since '81 will use it.  IBM PC's finally
followed suit, except there are no less than three incompatible sound
adapters out there being pushed by their respective companies: all of
Sierra's games use the Game Blaster and nothing else; Activision uses
some other one but not the Game Blaster; Epyx has their own which will
only work with their games; etc.  You can get sound better than the
Amiga's, but only on 10% of your games.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: 8 ball         
Date & Time: 01/08/90 00:09:39
Message Number  1267

They do indeed still make the old-fashioned 8-balls, too. I've seen 'em
in places like Circus World and Toys 'R' Us--you know, all those places
that are famous primarily for having billions of Nintendo cartridges
being avidly pawed through by Nintendo zombies (the immature form of
the IBM zombie).
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: Grafix         
Date & Time: 01/08/90 00:13:40
Message Number  1268

>My C=128 get's better graphics than that!
 
Not really. The newer enhanced VGA cards actually give you slightly
better resolution than standard Amiga graphics, and just as many colors.
Problem is, in addition to being a LOT more expensive, they simply don't
have the software support that the Amiga does. I see IBM zombies whining
all the time about this or that VGA card and how trhey can't understand
why anyone would get an Amiga for graphics work when their VGA is
better; they simply don't realize that programs like DigiPaint 4 and
Sculpt-Animate 4D just plain don't exist for the IBM, and you can't
get all the nifty graphics-intensive hardware and professional video
editing systems for the IBM that you can for the Amiga. There are
public domain graphics programs for the Amiga that are better than $200
IBM graphics packages I've seen. The IBMers who whine have never used an
Amiga graphics package and are totally ignorant of what the Amiga can
do.
                --An Amiga-phile Turtle, still wishing he had one
                  (that and a PC-Z...or maybe a Sun graphics work-
                  station, or...never mind.)
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: 8 ball         
Date & Time: 01/08/90 15:29:51
Message Number  1269

I'm still waiting for the Nintendo clone.  Colecos had an adapter to
run Atari 2600 games.  And who remebers the Adam?
===========

From: SAURON              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Artemis        
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:15:24
Message Number  1271

  Phyllis maybe even. Phillip Morris? Phil Donahue? Fill it up?
===========

From: SAURON              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:17:41
Message Number  1272

  Anal Retention?
===========

From: SAURON              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: YARG!          
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:22:02
Message Number  1273

  Gee Chip, maybe you'd like the local franchise for telling kids that 
the Easter Bunny is a hoax?
===========

From: SAURON              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Tarot          
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:23:39
Message Number  1274

>...fabulous for calming a person down...
  
  So is Valium.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: anyways        
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:28:56
Message Number  1275

  Two anyways for the price of one.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: IBM's          
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:31:53
Message Number  1276

  The more I learn about IBM's and their clones, the less I want one.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: 8 ball         
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:34:15
Message Number  1277

  Oden remembers the Adam...only he calls it an "adim" ...or something.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Oz             
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:37:14
Message Number  1278

  Yeah, I thought so too. A big improvement over the original artwork.
(which I've heard some old folks rapture over) Then again - I've heard
people raving over the original drawings in Lewis Carrolls' stuff in
"Alice" ....must be nostalgia.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:44:34
Message Number  1279

   Naaaahhhh!
===========

From: SAURON              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:45:54
Message Number  1280

  Would you please get your horn out of your ass and READ the messages
you're replying to?  I said A COIN TOSS TO DECIDE A WAR
                            ----------------------------
    
 Not Astrology.
===========

From: SAURON              
To: YOU SCHOLARS        
Subject: hours          
Date & Time: 01/08/90 18:50:33
Message Number  1281

  Okay Rocket Scientists; if you want to visit the Dark Tower (BARAD DUR
484-9139  you have to wait until after 10 PM, since that's when it goes
online.  Since most of the users here seem to be halfway erudite, most 
of you are invited to call. Those of you who have trouble tying your 
shoes are urged to call 'Remote Control' instead.
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: VGA            
Date & Time: 01/08/90 20:33:37
Message Number  1282

HHmmm, well, Iwas under the impression that the AMiga could do 800X600
(around there) with 2.5 million colors.....in lower resolution it can
get up to 16 million (not on one screen, of course, and you reallu need
a MULTISYNC monitor with the flicker fixer installed in your computer
to get those pictures to come out right.)  HHmmm, anyways, Iknow you
can have atleasy 4096 colors on screen at once with higher resolution 
than VGA....and, like you said, the animation is awesome!
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Grafix         
Date & Time: 01/08/90 20:36:20
Message Number  1283

ALl Iknow, is that the games they were OOHHing and AAHHHing over didn't
have much better graphics than my 128, the sound was HORRIBLE, and it
wasn't really that smooth movement....
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: RUFUS               
Subject: ADAM!          
Date & Time: 01/08/90 20:37:34
Message Number  1284

I remember the ADAM!  I was gonna'get one, but got a 64 & a 1541 
instead!
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ADAM!          
Date & Time: 01/08/90 22:07:36
Message Number  1285

Weird but true tales:
Some Adam club in New York (or was it Rhode Island) sent me a letter 
asking me to join.  This was a loooooong time ago, and I didn't even own
an Adam (but then again, I get stuff like "Dear IBM owner:", "Dear 
parent")
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: RUFUS               
Subject: 8 ball         
Date & Time: 01/08/90 23:29:13
Message Number  1286

Yes, I've seen the electronic decision-makers.  Don't like them.
Takes all the fun out of it (and besides, you have to trust whoever
programmed it to have a good random-number generator).  And when you
turn them upside-down, you just don't get the same satisfaction.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: download       
Date & Time: 01/08/90 23:39:21
Message Number  1287

Having the worst time trying to download TELEGEN.ARC.  Can't get my
system to even start accepting the file.  Ah, well.  Noticed Donthen's
got the text version available on the DEN.  I'll have to try there
when I've got a LOOOOOONG time to sit in a download loop.  Thanks for
putting the ARC version up there for me.  I appreciate the effort.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: FORTRAN        
Date & Time: 01/08/90 23:57:41
Message Number  1288

Variables: User: NameType
Begin Message
Dear $User,
   There is nothing wrong with pre-declaring all variable names before
using them, $User. All that Fortran can do, Pascal can do... albeit
more slowly, and possibly with a different method.
   REAL Pascal is able to use recursion, $User. Turbo Pascal is not
Pascal. 
                 Sincerely,
                   Chip P. Unicorn
End Message
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:01:59
Message Number  1289

Model III, Model 4. Same difference. Yarg! Yarg! Yarg!
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:03:20
Message Number  1290

There is nothing wrong with either IBM's or Pascal; if you compare
them with Atari 800's with Atari Basic.
              Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: FORTRAN        
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:05:03
Message Number  1291

BASIC is extremely similar-looking to Fortran. In fact, BASIC is a
simplified and interpreted version of Fortran. If one can read one
language, one can read the other.
               Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Disney Releases
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:07:12
Message Number  1292

If anyone enters a movie theatre after seeing Lance Rund pictures,
outside, that person is a true furry. Especially if he enters a Disney
flick after seeing them.
   On the other hand, we'd better not cover the movie poster. Someone
might think THAT was the film...
           The "Obedience School for Equines" C.P.U.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:09:07
Message Number  1293

>They rank above having dental work performed on you with Black &
>Decker power tools.
    
   Yes. And better than having dental worked performed on you with
Smith & Wesson tools.
               Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: YARG!          
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:10:18
Message Number  1294

The first objection is TERRIBLE! The world NEEDS more comic strips!
    
By the way, one conversation in that era:
   "Hi! I'm George. What's your sign?"
   "Liberty General Hospital."
   "No... no... I mean, under what sign were you born?"
   "Liberty General Hospital. I was a premature birth by twelve
minutes."
                  Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Assembly Langua
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:13:11
Message Number  1295

LISP is even better with string (and list-) intensive work, AND was
the second programming language ever to exist. Scheme, a close
relative, is fairly good with math.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SAURON              
Subject: YARG!          
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:20:22
Message Number  1296

   What? The Easter Bunny is a hoax? Shucks; next thing you know,
you'll be telling me there's no Santa Claus.
             Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SAURON              
Subject: Tarot          
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:21:57
Message Number  1297

Yes; but Valium's effect decreases with time.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SAURON              
Subject: OMNI           
Date & Time: 01/09/90 00:23:12
Message Number  1298

Dear Sauron,
   I believe the whole quote was something like astrology is no better
than a coin toss to decide a war. I assumed you meant that astrology
might have been used to try to decide a war beforehand. (Astrologers,
I assumed, promised their kings that if they entered war, they would
gain victory.)
            Chip P. Unicorn
    
P.S. My horn in my ass? OUCH!
===========

From: CRYSTAL             
To: ANGEL               
Subject: 8 ball         
Date & Time: 01/09/90 11:06:08
Message Number  1299

     Yes they still make them.  In fact Eckerds sells them.  I can't
walk down the toy isle without asking it how my day is going to go, or
how my manager is going to react to the store in the morning.  I will
have you know that is usualy wrong, but I can't help doing it anyway.
                              * CRYSTAL *
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: Grafix         
Date & Time: 01/09/90 12:19:40
Message Number  1300

>...the games they were OOHHing and AAHHHing over didn't have much
>better graphics than my 128...
 
That's because they weren't VGA graphics. There aren't too many games
out there that actually use a VGA card in VGA mode; most of them use
CGA (4 colors, 320 x 200) or EGA (16 colors, approximates C= 128
graphics) mode instead. And sound effects on an IBM are essentially
non-existant, unless you want to get one of those weird Incompatibility
Devices (tm) sound board that will only work with certain software
and WON'T work with anybody else's sound boards at all. *sigh* IBM
Zombies never could get /anything/ right.
                        --A non-IBM Turtle
===========

