
1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask...
2 ************************* INSTALLED: 29 JAN 86 *********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
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13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
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17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 ************************************************************
19 
20 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp mourning pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
21 01/28/86.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.005
22 01/28/86.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.005
23 
24         Instructed to sit at the back of the wagon, Miranda watched the
25 fields of the Italian countryside go by.  In these late spring weeks,
26 the winter's brown and gray had given way to the bright greens of
27 leaves, multicolored flowers, and fresh, new air.  She saw cows grazing
28 here and there and heard the gentle lowing ebb across the meadows; the
29 swinging tails reached almost like hands shooing at the flies.  Miranda
30 had been outside the city into the countryside a few times before, but
31 never in the early spring.  The colors, the air, the sounds, they were
32 all so different than autumn or summer, so much more alive than when her
33 father would take the household on an excursion.
34         Had the old hag not been staring at her the whole time, Miranda
35 would have enjoyed the trip.  She was getting away from Milan and going
36 in the general direction that she wanted to go.  When she left her home
37 she had expected to walk the distance to Venice if she had to, but had
38 hoped to catch a ride with some farmer in the back of a hay wagon.  From
39 Venice, she planned to find a merchantship going east, at least to
40 Constantinople.  The old city of Ephesus was on the way, and that's
41 where she was headed.
42         Ephesus was where she hoped to find Ii Orpyak, her father's old
43 tutor.  Both rumor and legend said that it was a magical, and dangerous,
44 city, and writings in several of her father's books mentioned people of
45 Ephesus being 'of power'.  Also, Miranda once over heard Gonzalo, an old
46 council to Prospero, try to tell him not to go there again, as he
47 thought it was too dangerous for the Duke.  The Duke went anyway.
48 
49         Now, though, Miranda was under the constant surveillance of the
50 old matriarchal gypsy.  The constant stare made Miranda very
51 uncomfortable; as beautiful as the countryside was, she couldn't enjoy
52 it under those eyes.
53          "What does she want?" Miranda asked herself.  The stare seemed
54 to hold her in place on the wagon; Miranda could hardly shift her
55 posture, and the bumpy road through the solid wagon didn't help matters
56 where sitting was concerned.
57         When the gypsies stopped for lunch, Miranda was finally able to
58 get up and stretch.  Most of the morning she had spent sleeping, partly
59 to escape the stare, but mostly to rebuild more of the strength she
60 spent the night before.  The meal was a modest affair, consisting of
61 bread, cheese and wine under a small oak.  The hag remained on her
62 horse, and all too soon lunch was finished.  With the family back on the
63 wagon, the ox lurched back into her steady plod.
64 
65         As the sun was setting on the day, the gypsies stopped for the
66 night.  A campfire was built and a warm rabbit stew was served up on
67 cracked wooden plates.  Miranda listened as the family spoke in it's
68 native language, with dancing gutterals and sharp consonants.  Still the
69 hag watched, but seemed to have softened her glare.
70         The meal was finished, and the utensils were put away.  The
71 little boy, who had been practicing his scratchy violin skills most of
72 the afternoon, presented the violin to his father with great reverence,
73 and entreated a song.  The father grinned to his son, then to his wife,
74 and began a czardas, to which the mother began to dance.
75         Miranda was so enthralled by the twists and turns in the music
76 and dance that she didn't see the hag come to her.  So little attention
77 had been paid to her besides the stare that she jumped when the hag
78 tapped her shoulder.  "Follow me!"
79         With a torch in hand, the hag led Miranda to the other side of
80 the wagon, further from the road.  They sat with the torch just to the
81 side, casting bizarre shadows across the hag's face.
82         "You have magic!"  Miranda nodded.  "Show me an illusion," the
83 hag demanded.
84 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
85 ^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"~^"~"~"^"^"^"^"^"
86 HA I THERE  PEOPLE,, IN ACASE  ANYONE  HAS MISSED  ME, THIS IIS THE OL' 
87 DIGITALIAN HERE... I'M HOPING TO GET BACK  INTO MODEMING  HERE FROM
88 THE SCHOOL COMPUTER . ANY OLD FRIENDS OUT THERE?  I  REALLY NEED 
89 DSOMEBODY TO FILL ME  IN ON WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING!
90 TTYL>......                                                   
91 ^"^ ^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"~"^"^"
92             DIGITALIAN
93 ^"^"^"~"^"^"~"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"
94 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
95 another day of school.....1/29/86...........10:37am....morrissey
96 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
97 
98 S:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS
99        HELLO, AND GOODBYE.
100                                                                     LADY S.
101 S:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS:KS
102 
103 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
104 PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
105  
106      "Fellows, we don't know too much about Delta V except what we have read
107 in the intelligence files. Be on your toes."
108      "Right. Sometimes I wonder if Ian's intelligence gathering section has
109 ever been out on the field themselves. Some of the stuff they give us is
110 absolute crap!"
111     Agents Parity and Fellows opened the door to the large hanger and
112 carefully stepped inside. To their immediate left, another door stood partially
113 open, and light from beyond cast bizarre shadows on the walls in the huge
114 building. Parity motioned Fellows to move behind the door, and he took a 
115 position to the right of the door. Two-man-entrance, NET operations handbook
116 page R-33. Both agents had practiced and utilized the procedure many times.
117 Scant seconds later, they had entered the room, covered all the people inside
118 the room with their weapons, and sealed off the door they had come through.
119     "No need for such theatrics Parity. And Fellows, put down the cannon. I
120 think spilling our own blood is the last thing on anyone's mind here." The
121 strange greeting came from a man standing in the corner. Parity recognized the
122 camera the man was wearing on his shoulder, and the half-empty bottle of Bud
123 he was holding in his hand.
124     "Why Delphi, or should I say Delta V, what a surprise meeting you here.
125 That coded message was really quite a trick. I won't ask you how you managed
126 to tap in to our comm-link system."
127     "It was nothing. Now if you'll both lower your weapons we have some intro-
128 ductions to make."
129     Parity and Fellows holstered their guns. One glance between them and they
130 knew the situation was safe, at least for the moment. Delta V was not exactly
131 a close ally, but he was far from a mortal enemy. The two agents took seats
132 at the card table with the other men who were in the room with Delta V.
133     "Parity, Fellows, meet George Kellerman and Louis Smithers." The men all
134 shook hands. "Parity and Fellows work for a company that specializes in
135 ridding the world of men like Leroy McKane and his followers. We have worked
136 together even though they don't really know it."
137     Fellows chuckled. "We didn't know it? You might be surprised to find out
138 what we do actually know. In fact on our way here Parity and I were talking 
139 about how good our information is on this whole case, with McKane and the
140 rest."
141     "Oh you were? That's interesting. Perhaps you would like to fill me in on
142 what you know?" Delta V had a half-smile on his face, and his eyes twinkled
143 with interest.
144     "How about we trade, at the same time." Parity interjected, before Fellows
145 could reply. "I assume that George and Louis are cleared, if you brought them
146 here, Delta..." 
147     "Yes, they are clear. Now then, let's get down to business. We all have
148 information that needs to be pooled. We best get started before it gets..."
149     Delta V's words were cut off by a deafening explosion. Lou was the first
150 one up from his chair. "The dock!" was all he said before running out the
151 door. The other men quickly followed.
152     The sight that met their eyes was not pleasant. The big Albatross
153 Amphibian was now a pile of sinking debris. Pieces of hot metal and burning
154 rubber dotted the runway between the hanger and the dock. Spots of fire
155 criss-crossed the wooden dock, and smoke rose at least 100 feet in the air. The men's ears were assa
156 ulted by a sick hissing sound as the remains of the plane sank into the
157 shallow water near the edge of what remained of the dock. Lou could be seen
158 running towards the airport's crew-house.
159     "Parity, someone doesn't like us." Fellows said, still looking at the
160 spectacle.
161     "I was beginning to think the same thing. Well Delta V, I think we better
162 speed up our plans, don't you agree?"
163  
164 PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PARITY PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
165 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++lust jurking++++++++++++++++++++++++++
166 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\38
167    James was running along the empty streets back the way they came like a madman. Every few seconds he would stop and
168 look around,as if searching for something. Tariya struggled to keep up but it was a loosing battle. He had a lot of
169 energy for someone so ill. Finally, winded almost to the point of collapse, she leaned against a wall and gasped,
170 "Stop! Please! What... what are you doing?"
171    He did stop for a second, right in front of a parked aircar. "You said that Shaikhur and your mother's palace are
172 four hundred kilometers from here. I, for one, do not intend to walk that distance. We need transportation." He
173 slapped the car on the hood. "And this is what I was looking for. A Skymaster 431. I thought we passed one earlier. I
174 happen to know how to hotwire one of these babies. We'll ride there in style."
175    "You... you mean steal it? But that's wrong! And what about the poor person who owns that car? Is there nothing you
176 will stoop to to achieve your own ends?"
177    "Nope."
178    He was bent over the doorlock, working at it. If the door on a Skymaster was bumped just right, the lock would
179 usually spring open. He was trying to remember how that went. His train of thought was interrupted by a gasp and
180 Tariya suddenly calling in a very anxious voice, "James! Don't move!" At the same time he felt something cold press
181 against the back of his neck.
182    Letting discretion be the better part of valor (for once) he turned around very slowly. Standing there was a
183 balding, overweight gentleman wearing simple clothes and holding an automatic rifle with an incredibly large bore that
184 was now pointed at his sternum. In a rough, angry voice, he spoke. "And just what in the hell do you think you are
185 doing with my car?"
186    His car? Oh, boy. James said, "Hello sir. I am with the DEQ and was in the neighborhood checking exhaust emissions.
187 Did you know this vehicle is emitting twelve times the allowable level of carbon monixide?" The man with the rifle
188 stared at him like he was an idiot. James didn't blame him one bit.
189    Again he demanded, "What are you doing with my car?!" To punctuate his statement he threw the bolt on the rifle.
190 James groaned when he realized the gun had been uncocked 'til now.
191    Time to try something really stupid. "Okay, okay. You see, me and my companion-" He pointed to Tariya, who was
192 safely out of the potential line of fire. The man, apparently not too bright, actually turned to look at her. As soon
193 as he did, James grabbed the barrel of he gun, moving it away from his innards. Startled, the man pulled the trigger.
194 The gun roared three times, blowing impressive holes in the wall behind him. Tariya screamed and ran towards them.
195 James brought a boot up into the man's groin. He sank to the ground, losing all interest in the gun, which was now in
196 James' control. He placed the muzzle in the center of the man's bald spot and growled, "Looks like the shoe's on the
197 other hand now."
198    And then there was a second of unearthly silence, which was broken by a sound that chilled James to the bone. It
199 was the distictive sound of a rifle bolt being cocked, repeated not once, but three dozen times, and coming from every
200 direction. Looking around warily, he saw that every window on the block was now occupied by mean looking men, women,
201 and even children, all holding even meaner looking guns. Tariya finally reached him and he threw a protective arm
202 around her. "You know," he remarked, "I've heard of neighborhood watch programs, but this is ridiculous."
203 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
204 well done, creator.
205 
206 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
207 JUGGLER: My apologies.  I won't offer any excuses; my batting average for
208 keeping details straight runs about .002 or so.
209 ++++++++++hold while I think of something to write++++ Milchar, 7:29pm 29 Jan 86
210 ______________________________JD 2446460.6606____________________________

211 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
212      The fujmes from the hearth may have annoyed otherws, but they litmerally were
213 batterinog my sense of smell.  ThThis was the kind of scent I hated most of all.
214 The kind that stayed in your nostrils for days after the slightest sniff.
215 However, despite the smell, my attention was focused on where the Innkeeper had
216 dissappeared to.....
217 :::::====:::::
218 Juggler:  On your "person count" of the I~nn, you seemed to have middssed }me.  Oh
219 Well....
220 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::==Zephyr::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
221 (Blame rerrors on line noise.)
222 :::::=====:::::
223 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
224 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
225 A Plus To Yesterday's Tragic Accident:
226 	Maybe Mr. Reagan will think twice about the technology that he
227 would put into space for his SDI.  When we can't predict and control
228 *everything* we design and use and lose seven precious lives to a simple
229 ('scuse me, read "simple" with quotes for expressive purposes) space
230 mission, how can we entrust the lives of possible the whole planet to
231 the proposed missile defence system?  Who will be around to read the
232 core dump after an "accident"?  Would there be any core dump to read?
233 					thoughtfully,
234 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
235      The same stout young man who had helped close the door for the dottering old man strode to the bar and drew a 
236 flagon of ale. He approached the table where sat the old man, and tendered the refreshment. He spoke to the newcomer.
237 "And who migh' be ye, stranger" He stood, towering over the decrepit figure, who took up the book from the table.
238    He pushed back the hood oof his coat, revealing his features to the onlookers, silently observing...
239 The old man raised the book for all to see in the smoky darkness. He spoke. "The Phoenix Egg, friends"   "That which
240 some search for. I bring news of things past, and of things to be, for those who would hear..."
241 *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* Lysias *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* *=* 
242 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))
243 Juggler : yep I'm here. I should have something ready by morning.
244 (((*)))((( Ripple )))
245 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
246 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
247   Head count time!  Who's here at the inn?  Who's going to try to rescue the
248 vanished inkeeper?
249 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
250   The piper finished coughing -- deep anguished coughs as his body sought 
251 to rid itself of the noxious fumes that he had inadvertently inhaled.
252 Through a blur of tears he looked around at the blurred figures that 
253 surrounded the hearth, looking for the absent innkeeper.  He spoke with a
254 deep sigh.
255   "We'd better hope that that's not the atmosphere where the inkeeper went!
256 If it is, he's beyond hope now.  Who saw just what activated the gate that
257 he went through?"
258 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
259 [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/]
260   Ah, a-hem.  I guess I'm here, if it's a head count your looking for.  Sounds
261 like the beginnings of an adventure.  Lets figure out who, what and where 
262 before we go flying off pell-mell.      :-)
263 [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] [/] THE TIN MAN [/] [/] [/]
264 ^"^"N^"N^"^"^"^"^"\^"^"~"^ "
265       DDIIGIT@LALIAL
266 OOPS LOOKS LIKE I'M RUNNIING ON THE W_ORST TERM ON  EARTH...
267 THIS CSCHOOL TERMINAL REALLY SUCKS.......I NEED SO
268 SOME NEW BBS #S, SO   IF SOMEONE NWOULDD BE SO GKIND..>..
269 ~"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"N"^"
270 THE BLA D@IGITALIAN
271 N"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"^"
272 Emu: You have the situation exactly *backwards*. Under the current system we
273 are in great danger of an 'oops' (like those chip failures in the NORAD 
274 computers) triggering a war. 
275 The SDI system could only make two types of mistakes:
276 1. fail to stop incoming missiles (in which case we are no worse off than
277    we are now, we'd still get blown to hell).
278 2. attack a 'normal' space launch. This could cause a lot of problems, maybe
279    even a war. And it could kill people if it was a manned shot. 
280 Please note that *NONE* of the proposed SDI weapons can attack anything on 
281 the ground. Some of them *might* be able to attack high altitude aircraft.
282 	Right now we are depending on Mutual Assured Destruction. Which boils
283 down to "if you attack us we'll kill everybody". Under SDI, if it works we
284 will have a lot of damage (nobody *seriously* suggests that it will stop
285 100% of incoming missiles). If it doesn't work, we'll get clobbered and 
286 the attacker may not get hurt much. At least *somebody* will be around!
287 ______________________Leonard_JD 2446461.2783______________________________
288 And that someone will be the Ruskies, right? M.A.D. has one good point in its
289 favor, it matches the psychological profiles the leaders of the two superpowers
290 have when it comes to discussions on the future of the human race.
291 _____________________________JD *unknown*__________________________________
292 
293 PsIpSiPsi...
294   Piper, you can count me in. Perhaps my skills can be of some help. Besides,
295 there is someone I need to talk to in this group, unfortunately I haven't
296 figured out who that is yet, the signals are still too cloudy, and this smoke
297 seems to be as much as a mental block as it is a visual one.
298                                                                CRAGMORE
299 PsIpSiPsiPsIpSi...
300 Ps: I agree with Tim Man. Let's not run off pell-mell or we may end up waking
301 up that big bully 'Goth' again. :-)
302 PsIpSiPsIpSiPsI...
303 
304 .............................................................................
305 I don't want to promote paranoia or hysteria.  I don't want to give the Soviets
306 undue credit which they might not deserve.  But the authorities should also look
307 into the direction of Cuba for the cause of the downing of the Challenger.
308 On one of the demo of the capabilities of SDI conducted by the U.S., a metal
309 cylinder pressurized was disintegrated by shooting a laser beam into it. The
310 metal cylinder was pressurized using inert gas.  I just thought that should
311 they've used hydrogen in the metal cylinder, the effect would be similar to
312 what happened to the shuttle lunch.  Shooting laser or any charged-particle
313 beam from the direction of Cuba would probably destroy a shuttle launch.
314                          just a thought from Carlos Murphy, CIA, KGB, RGB, DOS
315                                                            TNT,CBS,NBC,ETC
316 ...............................................................................
317 :::::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::==marker::=====:::::=====:::::=====:::::=====
318 Could you possibly think of any thing that is more stupid than the above?  They
319 would only do an act like that to provoke the US into something they couldn't
320 handle.  Denying it wouldn't work, the beam would be traced to where it came
321 from and then we would illiminate it.  No more of the Mr Nice guy stuff, bomb 
322 the stuffin out of it
323 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
324 i know there's a lot involved in this politic "stuff" and it's not
325 really possible; but wouldn't it be nice if everyone could just get
326 along...sigh...
327 i'm TRYING to get to the inn i just haven't figured out how....
328 morrissey
329 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
330 
331 """"""""""""""""""Well, this time I didn't miss one.  Soli...
332 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
333 "Head count?  Well, I'll try, but thiese fumes aren't helping... Boy, will
334 the DEQ be mad.  Ok, if I squint hard, I can make out myself, Piper, Ripple,
335 JUGGLER, Zephyr(, Cragmore, and someone else sitting at a back table."
336 "Is that everyone?" someone asked.  
337 "I can't be sure.  Someone else may have walked in...and the list I rattled off
338 may be fifty percent hallucination.  Good thing this gas is dissipating.  What
339 I can be REALLY sure of is that I'm here.  I think."
340 Someone grumbled about "that's not a lot of help" but Milchar swed no sign of
341 hearing it.
342 Instead, he thought about what he had seen.  A transportal of some sort,
343 triggered by something the Innkeeper had done...what was it?  Milchar strained
344 to remember in exact detail what had happened .  He had reached up...
345 At that moment Milchar's "train of thought was suddenly derailed by an
346 announcement from the rear table.
347 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milchar +++++++ 8:41pm, 30 Jan 86 +++
348 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
349 Leonard:  But if SDI were to act up and falsely detect a missile, who
350    knows what hot-shot boot camp grad would follow computer orders
351    and return fire?  (Irealize that this is far-fetched, but so was
352    Tuesday's accident...)
353 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.Emu
354    People seem to think that an all out nuclear exchange would wipe out everyone in the U.S. Not so. We know how many
355 warheads they have, and it amounts to (avereged out) one point something for every county of the 48 states. Given that
356 some will be shot down, some will never even get off the ground, some will malfunction in flight, and not reach the
357 target, and given that there are a number of targets that will have a number of warheads aimed at them(Boulder City
358 Co., Omaha, New York, D.C., SAC bases, Naval bases, ships at sea, etc, there wont be enough for a "saturation" bombing.
359 There will be areas that are untouched. Most of the radioactivity will fall to earth within the first 48 hours. 90
360 % within two weeks (or so says the Office of Emergency management). Life will go on. Perhaps Dr. Sagans theory of 
361 a "nuclear winter" is correct. In which case, we will all die. Perhaps not. I for one, want to be around to see. [*=*]
362 DELTA FIVE [*=*]
363 Morrissey: Try walking in and ordering an ale.
364 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
365 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$
366      WHAT IF BOB AND DOUG MCKENZIE HOSTED A RADIO SHOW?
367      (Well, you might hear something like this on your radio...)
368 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
369 Bob:   "Good day. And welcome to radio station KHSR, station 1750 on your AM dial. I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my
370 brother Doug-"
371 Doug:  "How's it goin', eh?"
372 Bob:   "-and welcome to our show. Before we start, we would like to about our contest again-"
373 Doug:  "It was his idea."
374 Bob:   "Take off! It was the station manager's idea!"
375 Doug:  "Nice goin', hosehead! You're gonna get us fired if you keep sayin' that."
376 Bob:   "Okay, okay. It was, like, Doug's idea-"
377 Doug:  "Take off! Was not!"
378 Bob:   "-that we were gonna give away free a complete collection of our albums-"
379 Doug:  "One album. Some collection."
380 Bob:   "-to the 1750th caller. Lesse, we started this contest-"
381 Doug:  "Seven weeks ago Thursday."
382 Bob:   "Right. And so far we've had-"
383 Doug:  "Thirty-nine calls."
384 Bob:   "-and we're beginnin' to think you guys ain't tryin'. But we would like to thank Mr. Andrew Reznik for callin'
385 in twenty-four times."
386 Doug:  "That's right. You can, like, call in as many times as you want."
387 Bob:   "So pick up your phone and dial 55-HOSER right now. Remember, 1750th caller gets the album."
388 Doug:  "I think we'll be waitin' awhile, eh?"
389 Bob:   "And now for our first record of the day-"
390 Doug:  "Buuurrrppp!"
391 Bob:   "Jeez, Doug! We're on radio here! Aw, cripes, I think you got some on me!"
392 Doug:  "Pretty powerful stuff, eh?"
393 Bob:   "I'll say. Whew! Smells like the Elsinore brewery in here now. Oh, Jeez, look at this. All the labels just
394 peeled off the records. I don't know what's what now."
395 Doug:  "Well, you better put somethin' on, quick. I think I see the manager comin' and he looks pissed!"
396 Bob:   "Okay, okay, I'll put this one on. Turn the knob-"
397 Sound: "SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
398 Doug:  "Holy smokes!! What are you tryin' to do, kill my ears?"
399 Bob:   "I'm sorry! All the labels fell off the control panel, too!"
400 Doug:  "Well, when the manager comes in here I'm gonna tell him you screwed up and you'll get fired and I'll get a
401 raise!"
402 Bob:   "Take off! You will not! It's YOUR fault!"
403 Doug:  "He's gonna fire us both if you don't do somethin."
404 Bob:   "All right. I'll try this switch-"
405 Sound: "*click*"
406 Doug:  "Well? Is it workin'?"
407 Bob:   "The record's turnin'. But I don't hear anything."
408 Doug:  "Jeez, you're so stupid! You're not supposed to hear anything on this end."
409 Bob:   "But-"
410 Doug:  "But nothin'. They're listenin' to music right now. Don't mess with it."
411 Bob:   "All right. Hey, you know, this is an LP."
412 Doug:  "So?"
413 Bob:   "So that gives us about thirty minutes with nothin' to do. We still got a half case in the van, don't we?"
414 Doug:  "Sure do. You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"
415 Bob:   "Let's go!"
416 Doug:  "Last one there's a-"
417 Sound: "Slam."
418 ----------------------------------------------------------------------
419      Just, like, thought this place could use a few laughs.
420      Maybe I was wrong, eh?
421 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$# J.D. HOSER #$#$#$#$#$#$#:)
422 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-
423 Milchar:  No offense intended.  And I know what you mean about averages....
424       But heck!  Remember when Reagan was running for office back in 1980?
425       What kind of an average did he have then?
426 "My fellow Americans...  I wasn't wrong, simply misinformed."   Right.  :-)
427 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   m.a.  -1-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-
428                                     -+-   -JUGGLER-   -+-
429 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
430   The piper looked at the stunned faces around him.  Could this be the intrepid
431 adventurers that had braved the horrors of the unknown?  The brave souls that
432 had adventured into the Ruby Valley, braved the black plane between bands of
433 reality, traveled up the Kulumbia?
434   "Milchar -- what if the inkeeper needs our help NOW?  We don't know that he's
435 in trouble -- but we don't know that he doesn't, either.  Can we spend the time
436 waiting and discussing it?"
437   The piper strode to a dust-covered table near the back of the room and picked
438 up his pipes.  Swinging them to his shoulder as he moved back to the hearth,
439 he puffed air into the limp bag.
440   Bagpipes are a strange mixture of simplicity and complexity.  Three drones,
441 simple jointed tubes with a reed at the bottom end are tied into an air 
442 resevoir, another tube with finger holes and a double reed forms the chanter.
443 The piper blew into the bag, the moisture in his breath condensing and causing
444 the reeds to swell and soften -- changing with temperature and moisture.
445 Whenever pipes have not been played for a while they change.  Whenever they
446 are played they change.  The piper is always trying to manage these changes
447 in such a manner that the four horns play in unison and in tune.  Almost
448 never will a stand of pipes that has been inactive for a time sound anything
449 like they should -- they skirl, squawk, squeak, and in general make a most
450 unnerving racket.  
451   The piper ignored the pained looks on the faces of the assembled patrons
452 of the inn as he vainly attempted to balance the pipes.  One drone was
453 completely quiet, the other two beating fiercely as he reached the hearth.
454 Holding the chanter in his left hand, he moved the blowpipe to a more 
455 comfortable position in his mouth and reached for the carved lion's head
456 that supported the mantle.  It moved easily under his hand, with a silky
457 oiled smoothness that belied the grit of dust under his fingers.  As it
458 swung toward the horizontal, he released it and his fingers danced over the
459 chanter.  The assembled patrons could recognize only the first few bars of
460 "Scotland the Brave" that quickly dopplered into the distance as the piper
461 disappeared into a recurrance of the stinging green gas.  For a long moment,
462 the tortured sound of the out-of-tune pipes rang accompniment to the
463 coughs of the unbeleiving patrons.
464 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
465 ?
466 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
467 Delta Five: Apparently you've never seen a map of the fallout patterns for
468  major strike on the US. 90% of the country is in the danger zones of one 
469 or more fallout plumes. Plus, without SDI there will be *no* missiles shot
470 down by our side. We never built the ABM site we were allowed by the treaty
471 The USSR built theirs to protect a missile site (as required by the treaty)
472 of course the missile site is just outside Moscow....
473 As for someone 'following computer orders' to launch an attack, that will
474 be no more likely than it currently is. The SDI suystem 
475 (oops) system is not 'connected' with the missiles & bombers & subs. Heck,
476 even now a Trident or Polaris commander could launch on his own authority
477 and there wouldn't be any way to stop him... (we could always court martial
478 him if we were around to do so....)
479 ______________________Leonard_JD 2446462.5698____________________________

480 But then we all know how accurate those maps of fallout zones are. There is
481 no way to actually test the data that compiled the maps. Every nuclear
482 explosion is different, even on similar models of bombs. Fallout pattern
483 maps are for post-nuclear living planners. Let them believe in it. Let them
484 move to the 10% that isn't in one of your so called danger zones. They
485 won't be around long enough to worry about the mistakes they made in their
486 figures.
487 ______________________________JD unknown_________________________________
488 Leonard: The area of the U.S. is about 3.6 E6 sq. miles. 10% of that is Texas + Utah. That's a lot of real estate.
489 Generally speaking, the western U.S. has less targets than the east and midwest. So the west will be less saturated
490 than the other parts of the country. The prevailing winds (if I remember right) blow west to east. One more reason 
491 why there are areas that will not be directly affected. (Perhaps this is one reason that hard core survivalists have
492 holed up in Oregon. They may be crazy, but not stupid.) Unless "the Russians" bomb the Pacific Ocean, there won't 
493 be much fallout blowing in from Astoria. There will be survivors, and unless Dr. Sagan is right, and unless the axis
494 of the Earth is shifted enough for it's nutation to increase enough to throw this planet out of it's orbit, then life
495 will go on. I think 'they' know that, which is why they have chosen non-military targets such as New York City (nancial
496 records; the United Nations HQ), Portland (the Port of Portland), and etc. [*=*] DELTA FIVE [*=*]
497 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
498   I finally get to this place, The Inn, that I have heard so much about
499 and people are slowly dissapearing in a cloud of green smoke.  I have had
500 problems with a similar type of smoke and really would not like to engage
501 in those problems again.  All around me are faces in a state of confusion.
502 I looked up at my friend The Juggler,  "What is to happen now?".  He just
503 shook his head as he tried to hold back a chuckle as he watched me trying
504 to climb into a chair close to the fire.  I looked back at him with a small
505 smile when I finally succeded mounting my perch.  I know I should be concerned
506 with the problem at hand but right now the first thing on my mind is the
507 warmth of the fire and trying to figure out how to obtain a glass of ale.
508 Now where did I put 'my' mug?  Juggler looked over at me asking " What are
509 you doing?  You look a bit confused."  "Oh I'm just trying to find my mug"
510 "Mine can hold just as much as one of those tankards you use but the out side 
511 is much smaller,  besides I am afraid that if I try ti use one of those large
512 ones I may just fall in.  Ahhhh here it is...  I set a small pixie sized 
513 mug on the table and instantly a strange look came over the Juggler's face.
514 With a bit of disbelief and a chuckle he said "You mean to say you are going
515 to pour all of this into there?".  "Sure" I said.  "No problem well one problem,
516 would you be so kind as to help me pour it in?"
517 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
518    
519 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
520 Ripple, do you mean to say you have a TARDIS mug? :-)
521 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
522 Milchar listened to the fading 'music' of Piper's bagpipes and was hesitant.
523 After a few moments of indecision, he fumbled in his robes for his packet of
524 3x5 cards.  He hoped that they were still in order.  After some searching, a
525 worn card, yellow with age, caught his eye.  Milchar quickly recited the runes
526 on it as he stepped toward the fireplace.  It was now enveloped in the noxious
527 yellow gas; the head supporting the mantel was almost completely concealed.
528 Milchar gave it a twist as he had seen the Innkeeper and Piper do, and at
529 once was sucked into the portal.  Milchar hardly had time to wonder about the
530 environment on the other side, and if his spell would hold out long against it.
531 ++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milchar, 12:00pm, 1 Feb 86 ++++++cough, wheeze, sniff
532 :*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
533 Nick Danger was here!!
534 :*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*:*
535 JD *unknown*: After looking at the ash deposition patterns for Mt. Saint
536 Helens, I'm pretty sure that those maps are accurate enough. 
537 As for Texas & Utah being equal to 10% of the country, that's fine. But
538 those 'safe' areas aren't going to be in one big chunk. 
539 More to 'JD': Are you now trying to say that we *don't* have to worry about
540 a major nuclear strike? If so, don't bother replying to any of my msgs in 
541 the future. There's no point talking with someone who is *that* far out of
542 touch with reality.
543 ______________________Leonard_JD 2446463.5000____________________________

544 
545 	TO:  L'homme   etal
546 	RE:  Message
547 
548 		Received. Plan 2-6-86 19:00hrs PST. Here..amongst the horses.
549 	Advise usual operatives. Will contact you by 2-4-86 at 3031 or 0296
550 	to confirm T&D&V. If yunable to advise. I will check here for N.L. 04
551 
552 
553 tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
554     
durinng the early sixties... at one point... the soviets were resting
555 on either their laurals or something obscene... we... the americans found
556 that we  could annhilatee the soviets... for a loss of only ten million...
557 or so... american citizens...
558     there was no war... sanity reigned over the joint chiefs and the chief
559 executive... in short... no one is insane enough... not even the generals
560 and admirals left over from the era of ike... to detonate a nuclear war...
561 or even a final skirmish...
562     which is why i simply dont worry.... waiting for my acceptance into the
563 foreign service... since there are more pressing matters than the position
564 of the american trident defense system... or the sdi...

565 tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
566 
567 Dear Ann Landers,
568    I am writing to see if you can offer some glimmer of hope into my rather unfortunate life.
569 It all started a year ago, when the lumberyard burned down. It seems that my partmer didn't like me.
570 He renewed the insurance in his name, and then hired an arsonist. You wouldn't believe how it burned.
571    Well, now he's lying on a beach somewhere watching the native girls, and sipping something exotic from
572 a hollowed out Pineapple, and I'm here, in this place. By the way, please excuse the crayon.
573 They don't allow us to have anything sharp here. Well, that wasn't so bad, but I had just left the doctors office.
574 I learned that I have cancer of the brain, spleen, and Achilles tendon. Also, the heartbreak of Psoriasis. 
575 On the way home, I was involved in a three car accident. Well, the other two cars were Poice vehicles.
576 I had to put up my house for bail. When I finally did get home, I discovered that my wife had run away.
577 With a Bulgarian dentist from South El Monte, of all people. They took the kids, too. Not only that, but my
578 Mother in law had moved in, and immediately started to bad mouth me, accusing me of mistreating her daughter.
579    Well, I just couldn't take any more. I got out my Walther, pointed it at my head, said a short prayer, and fired.
580 Oh, Ann, wouldn't you know it. I missed. And hit-you guessed it- my mother in law. The Police said I did it on purpose.
581    Well, the jury believed me, and set me free. I was so happy! I thought I could live out the few months
582 the Doctor said I had left, in peace and quiet, but when I got home, more police were waiting for me.
583 Ann, it's against the law to try to committ suicide here. The judge was very stern, and not very nice to me.
584 He said I was a menace to society, and sent me here, the Snickering Sycamores Rest Home. 
585 There's this battle axe nurse that makes me weave baskets all day, and tomorrow the doctor is going to
586 give me something called a lobotomy. I don't know what that is, but it scares me terribly.
587    Is there anything you can say that might cheer me up, Ann?
588    Yours Truly, Mixed up Michael.
589 (And you thought you had problems) [*=*]
590 Leonard: It was I who mentioned Texas and Utah, andall that. I am *not* saying we have nothing to fear from a nuclear
591 xchange, and I am *not* out of touch with reality. What I am saying is that a nuclear war would not kill everyone 
592 in the U.S. A 25MT device, exploded at optimum altitude would cause total destruction of about 300 sq. miles. 
593 To totally destroy the U.S. would take about 12,000 25 Megaton devices, all detonated at the right altitude, and all
594 detonated in a pattern of one per every 300 sq. miles. The 'Russians' don't have that many bombs, and many of the
595 ones they do are not that big. (25MT is a *big* bomb). Some of these are aimed at Western Europe, and other places.
596 We are not the *only* target, you know. (Or do you?). Even if 99% got launched, didn't explode on the launching pad
597 and hit their targets exactly right, that still leaves a lot af area. Agreed, there will not be any winners, but there
598 will be people left alive. [*=*] DELTA FIVE [*=*]
599 """"""""""""""""""Soli...
600 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
601   Well it's not quite that big inside
602 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
603 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-
604 Nope, just a mug-of-holding...  eh?
605 -+-   -+-   -+-   -+-   -JUGGLER-   -+-   -+-   -+-
606 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
607   Yep something like that.
608 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
609 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
610 Really ?
611 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!nochioP!!!
612 ***********************
613 elcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
614 ***********************************************.**********
615 NERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
616                     PLACED ON THIS sYSTEM.
617 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
618 d operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
619 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is

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