
1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ************************* INSTALLED: 31 OCT 85 **********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18  ****************************************************************
19 
20 line 19 line 19 is not the top just for today -  I'm just here to browse. ~
21 Hah! Some neophite is priveledged to enter in at the top, while an experienced
22 traveller such as myself just misses, and never having done it, regrets the
23 near miss of immortality. And it's Halloween no less...
24 ((((((((((((((((((*)))))))))))))))))
25 
26 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
27 The Bear froze for the slightest moment, mesmerized by the huge evil eye
28 staring at him from the end of the tiny cave. His mind seemed to wander into 
29 an endless pool of evil, his mind swirled within him, and he began to lose his
30 grip on the sword.
31 
32 Suddenly, the eye pulled back, and where there had been a deep pool of green-
33 colored evil, there was only the faint red glow of a huge grotto beyond. Bear
34 could only see a bit of it, but it's enormity could be detected by the look of
35 the wall on the other side. His forehead dripped with sweat, his nose was
36 filled with the overpowering smell of not just sulphur, but the decadence of
37 the purest evil along with it.
38 
39 The mist slowly started to clear from his brain, and quickly! he shook his head.
40 He stared around him, and realized that only a few seconds had past, although
41 they had seemed like hours. He put his body into motion with all the power he
42 could muster. Holding his sword in front of him, he crawled backwards through
43 the tunnel, face down. His feet grabbed the stoney ground, his elbows pressed
44 himself backward as quickly as his body could take him. His breath came in
45 short, raspy gasps, his skin crawled with the anticipation of what was to come,
46 and his brain whirled with plans of action. But there was none, except scurrying
47 back through the darkness as quickly as he could.
48 
49 Just as the walls began to widen, and he realized he could get up on all fours
50 and turn around, it came. He could hear the drawn-in breath. He could see a
51 brighter flickering of light from the entrance in front of him, the entrance he
52 was so desparately trying to back away from. He had only seconds. He lay flat
53 on the ground, sword held vertically in front of his head. He ground his face
54 into the rock, and held his breath
55 tightly. He held the jeweled handle of his sword against his head. And waited.
56 
57 An eternal split second later, the fire from the mouth of the dragon of
58 Fendarr rushed through the small tunnel. The flames danced through the cave,
59 pushed through the small passageway by the force of the dragon's breath, and
60 drawn by the hunger for air waiting
61 at the end its journey.
62 
63 The flames enveloped the Bear, and he screamed in desperate agony.
64 
65 0000000000000000000000000000 THE BEAR 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
66 *%)_@#*%)_@#*%@)_#*^)_@#*^)_@#*@+#)*^@)_#&*^@_)*^!)_@*^@)_#*^_)*)_@#*^_)@#*^)_@*^_)@*^@_)^*@#$)_&*^@#)_*#_)^*@)_^*@
67 	And while ignoring cretins who hid their multiply disturbed personalities with unsigned UPPERCASE messages,
68 L'homme turned to his companions at the inn and said:
69 Piper: Thanks for the codes. The movie program is now working. I was having some problems with the character packing
70 routine in my DRWABS(x,y) function that were stripping the wrong codes and turning them into 20H. They are fixed now
71 and all I need to do is automate the MODE select for the 4107 and go to work getting some animation going. Thanks much
72 for your help.
73 Mikey: Better try for next Thursday at the PCS social. I will bring the old archive disks. Do you have any new archive
74 disks that we need to bring $$$ for? Any Tandy 2000 COPYLINK sales? I won't even ask about adventure sales; too
75 depressing.
76 *%_)*)_*)_^*#)_*$^)_*@)_^*@)__^*@_)@ L'homme sans Parity %*_)*%@#_)*^_)*)_@#*%_)!%*)_@#*@)_*@)*()_@#(*)_&*_&%_)@&^^
77 
78 A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A=8
79 
80    "Snap out of it Trainor! We have come too far to let vindictiveness stop us
81 now." Cragmore's voice was calm, yet it carried the feeling of tremendous
82 emotion just under the surface.
83    The worried looks of Emu and Bard told the rest of the tale. Trainor was
84 still in an incensed state after realizing the lady zeb was the last link
85 to the entity that had destroyed his planet. Feelings of total retribution
86 filled his mind with macabre forms of revenge on the woman who now lay only
87 a few meters away behind a door that Trainor could not enter.
88    Cragmore looked away from Trainor, still struggling against the restraints
89 that kept him immobile, to the others in the small chamber. "We must convince
90 him of the futility in extracting revenge on zeb. It is imperative that he
91 make the last step alone, but we are responsible for getting him to the point
92 where he can make a rational decision about the situation."
93    "I understand" Bard said nodding. "We could try reasoning with him, but I
94 doubt that in his condition reason makes much sense."
95    "Cragmore?" Emu's face flashed with insight. "Couldn't we use some form of
96 psi link to reach Trainor's subconscious? I know a little about psi and I
97 think by cutting through the emotional conscious layers of his mind we could
98 give much more convincing arguments against killing zeb."
99    "Yes...Yes! We must try, and there is no time to waste. Quickly, form the
100 semi-circle. Trainor will occupy the last quadrant of the curve. Now
101 concentrate on reaching Trainor. His body lays in bed but his mind is free
102 to come unto us. Concentrate. Concentrate!"
103    
104    Once again, although no one in the room would notice it, a glow arose from
105 the assemblage of men, seated on the floor, forming three quarters of a
106 psi-circle. The last and most important part of the circle was still
107 physically tied to the bed, but the slower breathing and calm look revealed
108 that the attempt was having some effect. Absolute silence washed over the
109 room. The human mind speaks far louder than the human mouth will ever be
110 able to.
111 
112 A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= CRAGMORE A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A= A=8
113 
114 A special announcement for all computer users. Remember the Snoopy and Playmate
115 computer prinouts that graced college dorm rooms of freshman computer science
116 students? Now there is Mad's mascot. In its October "special computer" issue,
117 Mad magazine printed a 150-line BASIC program that can place the image of
118 Alfred E. Neuman on any graphics-equipped computer screen.
119 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++M+++++++++++
120 Does that includ Commodores.
121 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\14
122    James felt like somebody had just let the air out of him. He was silent for a long time. Finally He spoke. "That's
123 a crock."
124    "There's no choice. You must do it."
125    "You seem awfully anxious to go to your final reward."
126    Tariya's face was open, full of fear. "There will be no final reward. Under these circumstances my conciousness
127 will simply dissipate as the sphere winks out of existance."
128    James sighed. "I should have known. It almost happened to me, once. That's probably why soulpower is so forbidden
129 to use. It's a very simple choice."
130    She was close to tears again. "Please. You're the Destroyer. There must be a dozen, no, a hundred ways you could do
131 it. Quickly. Painlessly. It shouldn't bother you. You've done it before."
132    He had turned away, staring into the wall. "Yes. I have, haven't I?" His mind was spinning in tight little circles,
133 endlessly going over his options and finding the same results.
134    "It... it WAS my fault. It's only right-"
135    "You're trying to justify murder. Tell me," James whipped around suddenly with something in his hand. "is THIS what
136 you really want?"
137    In his hand was a sword. His weapon, and the main focus of his destructive powers. It had no scabbard, nor did it
138 need one, as it only existed at his command. The blade was twenty inches long, single edged, and curved like a samurai
139 sword. Sparks of blue fire raced along its edge.
140    Tariya knew all about the sword, of course. It was an integral part of the legend of the Destroyer. Still, she was
141 mesmerized by the sight. Her eyes locked on the tip, following its every slight movement, like a bird paralyzed by a
142 cobra that was about to strike. With an effort she broke the spell and locked eyes with James. "It's not what I want,
143 but it has to be done. If you cannot do it, then give me the blade."
144    "Sure." He said. He held it up to her, by the grip. her hand closed around the wooden grip, and his hand closed on
145 hers, cold as ice and sweating. They held each other's eyes and for a second seemed to share... something. Then he let
146 go.
147    As soon as his skin broke contact with the sword, it dissappeared. Tariya stared down at her empty hand.
148    "As soon as I let go of it, it goes back where it came from." he said. "I can't lose it or have it used against me
149 that way."
150    She was still looking a her hand. Finally she looked up and said, "Then you must do it."
151    They both heard a hollow groan, sounding like a rotten building that was about to collapse. The size of the sphere
152 shrank perceptably. It wouldn't be long.
153    She watched as the animation drained out of his face. His voice was just as flat as his expression. "I guess I have
154 no choice."
155 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
156          
157 |_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_||_|^|_|
158 _____________________JD 2446370.8829__________________________________
159 ++++++++++++++justpassin'through+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milch ++++
160 
161 
162 
163 exit
164 
165 
166 break
167 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( just lookin' around )))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
168 ppppppppppppppppppppppassin' by, me too, justppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
169 *************************THE*COSBY*KID************************************
170 
171 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR PET DIES
172      When you find your dog on the front porch stiff, the first thing you 
173 do is kick it
174  
175 to be shure it's dead but sense you've done this so many times you kick it 
176 again, harder this time.  From the blow it just recived it rolls off the 
177 porch and into the flower bed. You hear no wimpering nor thrashing, now you
178 are pretty shure that the dog is dead, but just to be shure you get a milk
179 bone and throw it to the spot where the dog lies; the flower bed is still 
180 silent, there are no chomping or scoffing sounds heard when the dog usualy
181 inhales a milk bone. Now you have to keep away the kids so that they don't 
182 see the dog with a milk bone resting on it. For they to know how much the 
183 dog loves milk bones. While the kids are harrasing someone else you put the 
184 dog in the wash machine to get it all cleaned up, but don't put it on the 
185 spin cycle because you might spin some pretty bad stuff out of it. Take this
186 clean dead dog to your local taxidedrmist and have the dog stuffed in a 
187 sleeping position. Take this clean dead stuffed dog home and put it into the
188 corner. When the kids come by tell them; "The dog is very sick so leave it 
189 alone." Now you have sucessfully avoided telling your kids about the death 
190 of their favorit canine. You still have to keep their attention away from 
191 the dog by getting another pet like a cute kitten, rat, snake, eel, black-
192 widow, ect. You will never have to tell them about another pet death again
193 it also works good for relatives.
194 **************************************************************************
195 
196 
197 ----------------------------------------
198         ROCK AGAINST RELIGION
199 
200 Absolutely dishusting. Plebian attempts at humor merely demonstrate the
201 inability of the writer to captivate a thought and transfer it to the
202 written word. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. Sometimes writers
203 are better left decapitated.
204 ---------------------------------------
205         ROCKER AGAINST RELIGION
206 ^C
207 ---just wond-ring..... isn't it that rock is just another form of religion???
208 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
209 The searing fire rushed through the cave, swirling over and around the Bear.
210 All he could do was grit his teeth in pain, trying to be careful not to breath
211 in the flames. The smell of his scorched hair filled his nostrils, his skin
212 sizzled with the heat, searing him with the greatest pain he had ever felt.
213 
214 But still, he kept the sword held vertically in front of him. His hands first
215 reddened, and then blackened as they confronted the force of the blast.
216 
217 He felt like he had roasted eternally. He felt like he had tasted Hell, and it
218 had consumed him and given him pain that could not be endured for one more
219 second, much less an eternity. He pressed his face into the ground as hard as
220 he could, his eyes closed, his teeth clenched, his entire body wreathed in
221 agony. His sword glowed. His hands shook while he held it, but still it stood,
222 turning a pale red as the flames whirled around it.
223 
224 And it was over. The flames stopped, but the sounds of its destruction filled
225 the air. The Bear's skin sizzled, his body smoked, saliva dripped from the
226 trembling mouth. The stench of burned flesh attacked the air around him.
227 The Bear slowly raised his head, eyes squinting at first, but gradually opening
228 to make out his surroundings. The sword still glowed above him, even redder
229 than before. And Bear knew it was that which had saved his life, for the sword
230 had gathered as much heat as it could stand, taking away enough to save Bear's
231 life.
232 
233 And as he looked up, he saw down the tunnel, farther away now, but with enough
234 size and glow to impact his brain with a force like magic, was the eye. The
235 dragon was once again gazing into the cave. And it saw Bear, still alive.
236 
237 And it glowed red around the green, and the eye seemed to spit fire.
238 
239 Bear's muscles groaned and his skin crackled as he urged himself to stand. A
240 roar came from the grotto in front of him, and the eye again disappeared,
241 quickly. And Bear knew the flames would come once again as he turned and ran.
242 
243 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000THE BEAR00000000000000000000000
244 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
245 _______________________JD 2446371.7986__________________________________
246 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
247 Have you ever wondered why just about everyone says "hello?" when they 
248 answer the phone?  Well, I have.  And I'm intent on putting a stop to it.
249      We humans should be able to muster a bit more creative inginuity and
250 form some snappy welcome to the friend or wrong-number dialer on the other
251 end of the fiber optics.  We have the wit, so let's use it.
252 
253      I personnaly say something like:
254 
255        "Earth..."
256            or
257        "Emergency red-line..."
258            or pose the question
259        "Lemon curry?"
260 
261      So let's have some suggestions on how to answer your next phone call.
262 Live'n those lines!!
263 
264                                                 PEN NAME
265 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
266 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*Guru of Bliss*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
267     Yup.  Whoever said it above.  Whenever an 'anti-religeon' posture is taken
268 that isn't an anti religeon; its just another one Religeons become anti-religeon
269 s over time when they go sour and pervert.  But even then thair not realy 
270 effective anti OTHER religeons.  Rather they become the anti-religeon of
271 themselves!
272      This is sometimes refered to as entropy...
273 *=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
274 ch /thair/their/;/religeon/religion/;/refered/referred/;/realy/really/  PLEASE!
275 
276 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#
277 Whenever I answer the phone, I always say, "Hello, Bert's Taco Palace"
278 See if you can figure where I got that one from...
279 #$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#JD#SILVERMAN#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#
280 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
281 How about, "Suzy's Sexy Sauna, Suzy speaking" or "Hilltop Asylum, the inmates
282 are doing quite nicely this morning, which of them would you rather converse
283 with?"
284 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
285 _________________________________________________________________________
286 How about, "Nobody's home but you will have to check with who where"
287 _________________________________________________________________________
288 ...................................
289 My My, you take rock so seriously, could it be, nah, you would not make that into your religion, would you?
290 ...................................
291 *************************************************************************
292 Dead dog? How awful. Absolutely tacky. But it was written as well as 
293 most of the stuff on Backwater. What can you do with dead babies?
294 
295                                  The Instigator
296 *************************************************************************
297 
298 ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
299 

    city morgue... you stab 'em... we slab em...

300 ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
301 
302 SageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSage
303     "A pen with pigment! In the stead of ink? What an idea,"  Exclaimed the
304 Sage.  Obviously the idea excited the Sage who was quite tired of dipping
305 his pens in ink every few words.
306     "Yes, and it only cost three or four marks,"  Said the Stationaire, in
307 his brisk accent.  Eyes peering out of thick glasses, and fingers nimbly
308 twisting the pens in his fingers.
309     "You are trying to raise the price,"  Remarked the Sage wisely, almost
310 happily.  A smile crinkled his eyes, and his fingers deftly picked up six
311 pens in succession.  Dropping a mark after each one.
312     "No, it simply costs three marks, no less,"  Said the Stationaire in
313 good form as a miser.  No smile crinkled his eyes, greed squinted his eyes.
314     "Oh,"  Said the Sage.  Ashamed of having changed this deal from one
315 between friends and colleagues, into one between banker and widow.  His
316 eyes met the floor and his monies dropped onto the table.
317 
318     "Yes, this is the profit,"  Stationaire was pleased with this.
319     "A profit, eh?  A profit,"  Sage was disappointed at only receiving a
320 trio of pens, and at seeing the greed of a friend.
321     The pens certainly did expedite work on the play, and by that winter,
322 nearly enough money to buy the other pens had accumulated.  The scene
323 between the two colleagues that winter was nearly as pathetic as the one
324 described here.
325 
326 SageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSageSage
327 
328 hello
329 reme
330 
331 
332 
333 exit
334 
335 HELLO
336 FILGAR
337 ILGAR
338 HELLO
339 ::::::::::::::::O O::::::::11/2/85::::::::::::::13:56::::::::O O:::::::::::::::
340 Cistop: I got the CL+ demo disk yesterday.  That's a Really slick piece of work!
341         And it's all done with scripts?!  Most impressive.
342         However (there's always a 'but') you've been reading BackWater too much.
343         The abbreviation for "et cetera" is 'etc.', not 'ect'.  You made that
344         mistake on the Features screen.  Things like that really turn some 	   
345 	people off. ('if he doesn't worry about the spelling, how much did he
346 	worry about the debugging...?')  Otherwise it's impressive.
347 	I wonder if they'd let you upload it to CompuServe?
348 ::::::::::::::O O:::::::::::::voyeur::::::::::::O OOOOOO::::::::::::::::::::::::
349 -/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/--/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
350 Just a simple "May I help you?" lead people to believe 
351 you have some sort of official function. After that, you
352 can assess the situation and tell the story of your choice.
353 -/-/-/-/-/-
354 Or:
355 "This had durn well better be a good one!" Just to make
356 the caller think of the story.
357 -/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/
358 _>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_
359     NEOHAMA
360 _>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_
361   The other side of humor from...
362     Writers WS with Leah.
363       A sinicle suicide.
364    
365    This gun feels so great against the poalm of my hand... I can 
366 feel the smooth pearl even if it is heavy. And the long
367 sleek barrel. The weight of it is tolerable... and the shiny tri 
368 CLICK BANG.............................................          
369                                                                  
370                                                          
371 ---------------------------------
372      NEOHAMA
373 _>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>_>
374 Neohama... you made me laugh. good one.
375 
376 How about: "Joe's Pool Hall. Who in the hall do you want?"
377 OR
378 "Heaven. God speaking!"
379 
380 or just answer it panting hard and say 
381 "WHAT?"
382 
383 or the best one is, if it's late at night or you answer it sleepy and the othe
384 r person asks "Oh, did I wake you up?"
385 Say "No, I was asleep anyway."
386 
387 Nine times out of ten the caller will say "Oh, that's good," assuming that
388 you answered the way he/she expected you to.
389 
390 They'd feel different if the show were on the other boot, but it's no skin off
391 their shirt.
392 
393 +++
394 Whoever thought the phone answerer question up did a good job... this is
395 the first real good chit chat Backwater has had in a long time!
396 -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
397 Bah! enter only... *shoe* were on the other boot. That really fries my
398 griddles.
399 +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+plusminusplusminusplusminus+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
400 ttttttt ttt tt t     neohama... i will see you some time...    t tt ttt tttttt
401 
402 %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
403 After what seemed to be only several hours later, I woke up.  My head
404 behaved itself instead of hurting as it should ha after seventeen rounds of
405 that ethanol-enriched drink, which surprised me.
406 I looked at my watch, stared at the date.  Two days after our little party.
407 I scanned the room, found what I knew must be there.  A note from the Doctor
408 and Milchar.  I opened it up and read:
409 'Dear Bert,
410    Milch left on some sort of errand he had to finish, and I was called back
411 to Gallifrey on business.  I'm sorry we can't be around when you wake up, but
412 I'm sure you won't mind.  Oh, yes, a friend of yours  showed up yesterday.
413 You'll find him in the commons room.
414                                         the Doctor'
415 I got up and dressed, then made my way quickly down to the commons room.  A
416 familiar face looked up from his hot breakfast and smiled at me.
417 %%%%%%% rebalsa %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% 11/02/85
418 (((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))(((*)))((( Ripple )))
419 _______________________________JD 2446373.0181_________________________
420 [*=*] unknown  /B/ dorun/   /F/ /Rubicon/ [*=*]
421 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
422 [*=*] unknown (B) orun (I) MC68000EMP Rubicon(F)[*=*]
423 ppppppppppppppppassin' by on Sunday AMpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
424 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
425 Ok, let's get something straight.  Murphy was an optimist.  But, he was
426 not as far seeing as many people would have you believe.  Murphy dictated
427 a set of "laws", but, he did not include anything about the panorama of
428 inevitable happenings.
429     In other words, Murphy did not include any secondary considerations.
430 That is, Laws that the Laws follow.
431     Of course, there is a reason he did not include any such.  And that 
432 is that these considerations change for each person.  Like a thump-print,
433 everyone has there own, no two alike.
434     
435     Mine own, include the following:
436 
437    1:  When I go to the Supermarket, my shoes inevitably come untied.  
438 But, always my left Converse High-Top, never my right.
439    2:  Furthermore, I always pick the shopping-cart with only the LEFT
440 side wheels messed-up.  Always only the left.
441 
442    There are others, but why go into that here?  I have two qeustions:
443 Firstly; What is this left-affliction?  Does it have something to do
444 with my brain? (As in Monte Python's Grundy, "MY BRAIN HURTS!")  Or is
445 it something more unique, perhaps even of Cosmic Reletivity?
446 
447 Secondly; Does anyone else experiance such occurances?  Surely there are
448 some, surely I am not alone in this!?!
449 
450      Well, in any case, it's something to think about...
451 
452                                            PEN NAME
453 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
454 No! No one better do it. Please no murphy's law files uploaded to backwater.
455 We have all seen it too many times. We have all laughed in the past at its
456 anonymous wit. We have all gone on to bigger and better humor. Some of us
457 even laugh at Alan Thicke. 
458 						French Toast
459 
460 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
461 How about Finangle's law: The perversity of the universe tends toward a
462 maximum.  Also applicable to exam questions, time schedules, and the 'shortest'
463 route between two points in a modern city.
464 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milch ++++++++++ 3 Nov 85, 2:24pm +++++++++++++++
465 " a chicken is an egg's way of making another egg"
466 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
467 Bbbrrring, bbbrrring, click. "Satan speaking, who in hell do you want?"
468 --------------------------------- S.D.--------------------------------------
469 Well, everyone, I'm back. I've been in the hospital for some time, and I've
470 learned a great deal about the way I was, and all te terrible things that I 
471 have done to so many innocent young children. I know what all of you thougt
472 of me from the messages that were left for me, and I can only hope that you
473 can find it in your hearts to forgive me. I no longer have those terrible 
474 desires, they shocked that out of me at the hospita and I am cured. I am no 
475 longer a threat to society. Will you please give meanother chance to be your
476 friend? I promise I will never ask any of you to le me baby sit for your 
477 children again, as I know you may not trust me at first. Is there anyone ou
478 t there that will still speak to me? Remorsefully, FRANK
479 **********************************************************************
480 L'homme: No archives as of this date, haven't had the time to convert them
481 to MSDOS yet. Only one Tandy 2000 sold. About $40 worth of Adventure disks
482 sold. Hey, it's better then nothing at all. 
483 
484 Voyeur: Actually, it is on Compuserve, it is in the products/fixes download
485 library of the IBM proSIG section. I don't feel all that bad about the ect 
486 thing, it was proof read by a literary major who teaches creative writing and
487 english. If that is all you can find wrong, I feel pretty good about it.
488 P.S. it looks even better in color!
489 ******************************* CISTOP MIKEY *********************************
490 
491   I LOOK AT THE PHYSICAL forces of the universe and understand that this is
492 the word of god, gods laws and gods word, is not the evolutionary forces
493 on this planet of earth, gods law also; increasing complexity and 
494  conscious awareness, that is evolution of intelligence, I realise that
495 we must know all about the innerworkings of the human mind, just like
496 you know the operating system to a computer, and its the innerworkins of
497 a microprocessor chip. What and why are some people not aware of thier
498 own emotions, state of mind, thier reasoning ability, imagination, 
499 fantasy, dreams,limitations of senses in the physical world, some 
500 people do not have a vocabulary or awarness to describe thier base
501 feelings, where has this culture failed in such a great and grand
502 economy and such great opportunity to develop? My life span is but a
503 drop in the ocean, a microsecond in the process of evolutionary time,
504 what kind of intellence will appear next on this earth during
505 mellenia? Please god i appeal to you, dont let me fall, but continue
506 onwards in developing my awareness of the abilities of others and
507 myself and guard me from those who will try to steer me off the 
508 path into ignorance and destruction......The Mind.
509 
510 .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.EmuLurk.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
511 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
512 Milch: It's late Sunday night, and I've yet to receive anything from
513   the Honeywell.  Maybe tomorrow...
514 L'Homme: You can have your notebook back, as I won't be needing it
515   anymore.  I don't like admitting defeat, but that class will have to
516   wait until next fall.  I also have those Intel disks still.  When's
517   the big MOVIE demonstration?
518 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>...!psu-cs!nelsons<><><><><><>
519 Hmmmm.... Frank, your spelling has definitely gone downhill since your
520 last appearance here.
521 
522 Pen Name:  Some of us lefties might take offense at your unprovoked attacks
523 of the concept of leftness
524 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_
525 
526 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
527 ppppppppppppppppppprowlin' in the early am pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
528 hey murphy: what do you call that stupid plastic thing at the end of shoelac
529 frank: ever consider that you lean to the left? In more ways than one?
530 Perhaps when you walk you slide more weight
531 toward the left foot. So when you push a cart you also mash it down left-
532 ways a bit. Maybe you should see a chiropracter.
533 
534 Or change your politics...
535 
536 :;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:
537 Wait... was that Frank who asked that? Wait, let me check.
538 
539 No dammit. it was Pen name. Acch! this is too much to read. Anyway, sorry
540 to have mistaken you for a child molester Pen Name. Speaking of which, any
541 one who molests a child oughta be shot, not placed in a hospital for treat-
542 ment. There is nothing, absolutely nothing in  this world lower. So Frank,
543 go slide back  under the slug you crawled out from under...
544 
545 :;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;:;
546 
547 -+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+------+++--+-+-+-++++-+-+-++-+---------++++-----
548 
549 I LOVE MY WIFE!
550 
551 
552 
553 ...AND WE'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR ALMOST NINE YEARS!    AHHH, BLISS.
554 HARD WORK, BUT BLISS AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW>>>>>>>>
555 
556 
557 +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
558 ma 105
559 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
560 	If that was the real FRANK then PAM is a white witch and Mohammad
561 Wassir is a cop! How on earth could you people be so easily fooled by this
562 poor attempt at imitating Frank's tendancies. A few clues to watch for next
563 time this new FRANK dares appear. First of all, Frank's messages were all
564 64 columns or less, being related to the brand of computer he used. All of
565 Frank's messages were first typed in on a word processor and then uploaded
566 to Backwater. I do not recall when Frank ever made a typo or spelling error
567 that wasn't related to a problem with his upload. Secondly, Frank's feelings
568 were firmly engrained into his psyche. It would take much more than electro-
569 shock treatment to dissolve these tendancies in Frank. Someone has been
570 watching 'Cuckoo's Nest' again. Electro-shock treatment is not used on
571 child molesters unless they show other forms of neurotic behavior directly
572 connected with the center in the brain that shock therapy moderates. Thirdly,
573 why should the real Frank come begging back to this place? A place where he
574 was threatened with physical violence and torture is not the first place a
575 'recovered' patient would return to. Seeing the lack of temperance on this
576 system would certainly steer Frank far away towards calmer more mature
577 waters. Be assured that Frank is still Frank, and FRANK is nothing but a
578 cheap fraud, hardly worth the millivolts used to enter his dispicable
579 missive.
580 
581 F.Y.I.
582 
583 ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
584 
585 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/
586 Am I the only one who remembers who Frank really was? A construct of one of 
587 Backwaters better writers from days long past. 
588 MC6809EMP! /dorun/
589 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/
590 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
591 
	Lefties: No, I have nothing against you, I consider the whole affair
592 
a personal problem, like acne, jock itch and takeing Hugo Gernsback's name in
593 
vain.
594 
                      (Ever notice how seeking knowledge is much easier than
595 
keeping it?)  PEN NAME
596 
||||||||||||||||||||||||||have to do something about that margin next time!||
597 I
598 
599 Like all abnormal people, lefties have tendencies toward the unusual.
600 It is a known fact that most rapists are either left-handed or would
601 have had a tendency toward it if their mother's hadn't steered them
602 otherwise. It's also well known that left-handedness is a sure sign of
603 self-love and inflated pride.
604 
605 Frank was probably left-handed.
606 
607 !"#$$%%&''()00!!"!""#$$$%$%&''()0)0!""##$$$%$%%%&&''(()00!""""##$$%%%&%&&'''
608 :-< To the above: WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE **** UP?! >-:
609 `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`
610 	Left handed people are just the same as you and I, they just write
611 with their left hand.  They don't have the definite split of right brain and
612 left brain but the emotional responces are just the same as what people would
613 call Normal.  Wasn't a extra y chromozone connected with all of the murderers?
614 	Now, what about people who can either write with their left hand or
615 their right hand because to them there is no difference, what about them?  are
616 you going to call them half-murderers?  But the problem there is that they are
617 also right handed, although people have two seperate brains in their heads you
618 can't call half of a person a murderer without insulting the other half.
619 	Just a thought:  Research has shown that babies that prefer to lie
620 on their right side will turn out being left handed and the other way around.
621 Babies haven't been around long enough for outside influences to govern which
622 side they like to sleep on.  So if a babie ends up being left handed would you
623 say it was inherited from the parents?  And what if this same babie turns out
624 to be an axe killer in a subway, will you say it was inherited?
625 `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`Mark
626 
627 .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .  
628     Could somebody explain who Frank wqas? -Tanya
629 .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

TOTAL NUMBER OF LINES = 629 
