LIST
FILE ON
MARGIN IS 85 
STATUS: ALL ALLOWED
NUMBER OF LINES: 570 
1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ********************** REMOVED 29 FEB 84 *******************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 ************************************************************
19 
20 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21 Wow!  I get to start a new disk, BIG DEAL!
22 
23 TO PUZZELED:  If Russia wants to take
24 over countries like Germany and Italy, let them.
25 The US shouldn't worry about communist countries.
26 If Russia did take them over we would not feel the efectts.
27 But when they start trying to take places
28 like The big oil countries, thats when we start fighting.
29 
30   And non the less, WE DON'T NEED TO DESTROY THE WORLD.
31 If we do that then what we were fighting
32 over is no more.
33 
34 Doesn't make sense to me.  
35 
36 FOTI
37 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
38 (<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)
39  So thats what a bolo is...     maybE I just ought to tag along
40 with you to the wizards.
41 (<>)(<>)(<>)(>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)(<>)Geo(<>)(<>)
42 
43 ==================================================<=============
44 Sorry to here about the cold Deborah, I've just gotten over it
45 myself a few days ago. Please keep entering messages if you can, 
46 i usually don't start lines of discussion but I might be able to
47 think up a new topic instead of going after someone else's
48                                          Evan
49 ===================================================================
50 CAPTAIN NICE      by Paul Aurandt
51 	Bartholemew Roberts was an old-time sea captain.
52 	Yet if your conception of what an old-time sea captain is supposed to be includes being boistrous, rough-talking, hard-drink
53 ing, irreverent, then maybe you'd better hear THE REST OF THE STORY.
54 	Once upon a time, ship's musicians were among the hardest-working crew members.  Like the family physicians of long ago,
55 they were always 'on call.'  If anyone aboard ship wanted music, at any time of day or night, they ship's orchestra was
56 required to provide music.
57 	The man who changed all that was Captain Bartholemew Roberts.  Aboard his ships, the Fortune, the Good Fortune, and the 
58 Royal Fortune, the musicians were not only allowed but obliged to take Sunday off.
59 	You see, Captain Roberts' background was conservative Welsh.  He was a strict Sabbatarian.  Once a week on every cruise, 
60 religious services were conducted.
61 	Temperence was another of Captain Roberts' convictions.  The hours during which crew members could drink beverages containing
62 alcohol were carefully regulated.  Alcoholism, or even common intoxication, was positively prohibited.  As for himself, 
63 Captain Roberts drank tea.  ONLY tea.
64 	Games were permitted aboard---unless money was involved.  Any form of gambling was against regulations.  In fact, the captain
65 frowned on games such as cards or dice, simply because those games were generally associated with gambling.
66 	There is no record of a woman ever having been smuggled aboard any of Captain Roberts' vessels by any member of his crew.  
67 The reason is obvious:  The captain made it clar that any member of such immoral behavior would be hanged.
68 	I don't know if Captain Roberts ever conducted a bed check of those serving under him.  There was, however, a standing order:
69 lights out by 8:00 P. M.
70 	Of course, no fighting was allowed.  This was the way Captain Roberts handled it:  If two crew members had a quarrel which 
71 could not be resolved through discussion, they were required to wait until the ship had reached port, then to settle their 
72 dispute on land in a fair fight refereed by the ship's quartermaster.  Under no circumstances was such violence to be permitte
73 d on board any vessel commanded by Captain Roberts.
74 	If this discipline was remarkable for the high seas of the early eighteenth century, Roberts himself was a remarkable man, 
75 always superbly groomed, splendidly attired.  He wore a rich crimson damask waistcoat and trousers, a red feather in his 
76 tricorn hat, two pairs of pistols on the end of a silk sling over his shoulders, a gleaming sword at his side, and a gold 
77 chain suspending a diamond cross around his neck.
78 	Captain Bartholemew Roberts.
79 	Those serving in his command called him "pistol-proof," a phrase used to describe only the most adept in ship-handling, crew
80 control, and the tactics of naval warfare.
81 	No telling what greatness he might have achieved on the right side of wrong.
82 	For Captain Bartholemew Roberts  was a strict Sabbatarian, a teetotaler, a gentle man who disapproved of fast money and loose
83 women.  He was Mr. Discipline, Captain Nice.  And he captured more than four hundred ships during one four-year period in his
84 career.
85 	As a PIRATE.
86 	One of the most feared---and often considered the greatest---pirate in the history of piracy.
87 	Bartholemew Roberts.
88 	The original "Black Bart."
89 -------------------------------------------------------- P. V. Jeltz ---------
90 Wow! Cool story man. I can talk those bolos. I learned early that a well placed
91 stick shift can knock down any tank.
92             The Ninja
93 
94 HELLO
95 
96 	IF ANYONE GETS THIS MESSAGE, SEND ME A LINE AT
97 
98 		BOX 175 3446 CHESTNUT STREET
99 		PHILA, PA. 19104
100 
101 					MUCH OBLIGED - ESD
102 
104 TO MIKE DAY ,SYSOP
105 SUBJ:HOW TO?
106 FROM:RAY EPPLEY
107 1. PLS CHECK SYS FOR BUG,I CAN'T SEEM
108 2. TO GET MSGS OR ACCESS ANYTHING ELSE3. (PROBABLY JUST ME,NEW USER Y'KNOW!
109 4. I AM TRYING TO LEARN AS MUCH AS
110 5. POSSIBLE AS FAST AS I CAN AND ANY
111 6. INFO WOULD BE A GREAT HELP!!  MY
112 7. 
113 8. 
114 9.              THANKS MUCH,
115 10.                    Ray
119 S
125 This is a very different system
126 
127 The Runner
128 AM HAVING EXTRAORDINARILY DIFFICULT
129 TIME GETTING OUT OF THE INN. I CAN'T
130 EXIT AND CAN NOT GET "OFF" THIS PLANE
131 WITH OUT HANGING UP WHILE SYSTEM IS
132 ON.  AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
133              THANKS,
134                  STUCK
135 Dear Stuck,
136  Try hitting "Control-C" after entering a message, then type "off" and hang up.
137  If that doesn't work, go buy some lead undies and do the antler dance until your
138 modem curls up and dies.
139                       Abby
140 Hello, everyone. What a strange setup. No offense.
141 Meine namen ist Micheal from The Software Exchange.
142 And I am pleased to make your acquaintance! 
143 I am not a Gamer fanatic, merely a person...
144          hello ][c.k.][
145  well how are you im glad you got to
146 log on and read this message. i think
147 you will agree that it is a lot better
148 that good old cis. at least its cheeper
149 and you dont have to worry about how
150 long you take to type it all in.
151   well i hope that you read this before
152 what i have to say is no longer current
153 so here goes. im glad that you are
154 truly willing to try and get a cb party
155 going and it ought to be interesting
156 how you and i are going to get our act
157 together to pull it all off. I hope
158 that it all turns out for the better.
159 but i have a lot of faith and i think
160 it will go just great. 
161   well i dont know about you but i think
162 we should start using this more often
163 for our email its a heck of a lot less
164 expensive. and allmost as good.
165 so i will let you go for now hope to
166 see a reply that you got the message.
167 untill later pal...
168     derek kinne 
169 ****************************************
170 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
171 --- I've gotta try first person for a while, worry 'bout description later.
172 
173 I really have to curb some of these impulses.  I felt that we needed a few
174 extra bodies, but forgot just how fast a bottle and prospect of adventure ould
175 draw people.  I shook my head to clear the alcohol fog.  
176   CRAZY!  I must have really done it this time!  And what about this fellow
177 who calls himself the Ninja.  Going to try to take on a Bolo (no I don't know
178 the model)  with a stick shift from an old car.  Oh well, I'm glad I'm not with
179 that one.  Yucch!  Even the though of such an encounter makes me qeasy.
180 
181   What's this?  A poor lost little bottle.  Come here poor littcle bottcle.
182 Tachey off littcle bottcle cap, pour out inshides.  Oops,  pour lichle bottcle
183 in mouf. .....
184 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
185 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
186 Well...if nobody is willing to leed the expidition to the used BOLO lot,then I 
187 will.but I seems to be a little tipsy from the ale and Glenlivit.where are the
188 facilities in this fine inn? OH BARKEEP,the keys to the crapper please??
189 Nknja,lets keep the killer stickwhift for later,when we REALY need some force.
190 
191 
192 Aaron,wellcome back(front??) how long will you stay?
193 Ma Yuan,why don't you use the report writing teqnique for messages? it would
194 save lotsa reading time for us.start out each line with 2 spaces though,BWMS
195 does not like uploads very much. that way you can use spellguard on them.
196 Leonard,Bard,The Mad actor,Apprentice and others,HAad a good time at the meeting
197 and PC&S,see you again in 2 weeks?
198 			The Man in Gray
199 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
200 FOTI:	I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but while Italy's government
201 is NOMINALLY communist, Germany's is NOT. In any case, just because they CALL 
202 themselves communist, that doesn't mean that they are the same as the government
203 of the USSR. By the way, the government of the USSR is NOT communist. What they
204 have is more properly called "state capitalism".
205 	And as for our not noticing if they took over West Germany and Italy, you had
206 better check out some facts. Just off the top of my head I can tell you that the
207 electronics business would go thru a crisis. It seems that about 50% of the raw
208 hyper-pure silicon used outside of Japan comes from a company in West Germany. I
209 happen to work for a US subsidiary of the firm in question. There are other
210 things just as crucial in ANY non-third world nation you care to name. And in 
211 many third world nations, there are vital resources -- such as the oil you 
212 mentioned. The modern world is too interdependent for isolationism.
213 	The only reasons that the USSR hasn't invaded Europe yet are:
214 1. They aren't certain that we wouldn't start firing off nukes.
215 2. Their conventional forces in the area "only" outnumber NATO forces about 2:1.
216 Most strategists feel that one should have odds of 5:1 when attacking someone
217 who is defending their "home turf". The Soviet military is noted for being
218 cautious. (see this month's Scientific American for a more detailed analysis. I
219 think that it understates the Soviet position, but it should still help)
220 _____________________________________Leonard____________________________________
221 	"Milord innkeeper, I must apoligize for failing to 'turn off the 'demon' that I
222 was using in that joke on d. I fear that it has grown a bit too large to just
223 idly dismiss. Luckily, since its breed feeds on disorder, I think we can work 
224 this out in an equitable manner." said the apprentice.
225 	He had drawn the innkeeper aside shortly after entering the Inn. The innkeeper 
226 looked sceptically at him.
227 	"As thou may have noticed, the inn does seem to have a rather large 
228 tendency towards disorder? The demon could 'feed' off of this. The main effect 
229 would be that Pam wouldn't have quite so much to clean up. You might say that th
230 patrons would become somewhat 'non-accident' prone." 
231 	At this the innkeeper displayed some interest, and they started serious 
232 negotiations. Much later the apprentice approached a party at a table..
233 	"Milords, Milady..", he began, "I hear that thou may have need of art
234 such as mine?"
235 	"I have brought my staff, and also some small items which may aid us.
236 Finally, if all else fails I have this.."
237 	He placed a small vial on the table, it contained a number of small
238 blue pills. "I obtained these from some rather odd travelers. I know the names 
239 of two of their number, hast any of thee heard of 'Chester Anderson' or
240 'Michael the Theodore Bear'?"
241 .................................the apprentice.................................
242 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
243    Something is dreadfully wrong!  I don't normally act like this...
244 My mind doesn't seem to work!  I am looking at the table as through a long
245 black tunnel.  There is a loud buzzing in my ears.  The apprentice has
246 just joined the group at the table.  If I can only tell him...
247   "Apprentice ... help!  The ale, ish funny!"
248 The buzzing is louder now.  Those incautious belts of the Glenlivit are
249 combining with whatever it was..... chloral hydrate??
250 With all my strength I try to stand ....
251 "Apprentish ... the ale ... knockout......
252 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
253 		
254 From:  Jason E. Elliott
255 To:   Anyone in the know
256 Re:    Programming
257 
258 
264      I am looking for a part time (to become full time in June) 
265 programming job in either 'C', BASIC or any Assembler (given 
266 time to learn it).  I would prefer to program in 'C' but right
267 now, anything will do.  If you know of such an opening please
268 let me know.  You may reach me by mail (address below) or on the
269 following systems:
270 
271 1)  Reed College's PDP 11.  Send mail to "/u/v/cbenson/jason".
272 2)  BWMS
273 
274 Mailing address:
275                
276 Oregon City, Oregon   97045
277 
278 PS:  I am game to working in either Portland or Oregon City until June.
279 Starting in June I could work just about any place.
280 
281                            Thanks, 
282                         Jason E. Elliott
283    THERE EVER WAS A DAY THAT ONE COULD STAND UPON YHE MOUNTAINS AND SEE THE
284 LAND STRETCH FOREVER WITHOUT A SCAR UPON ITS FACE. NOW THE CHILDREN OF MAN
285 FOUL ITS AIR AND SEAS, LEAVING ONLY THE BITTER TEARS OF NATURE TO WREAK
286 HAVOC UPON THE LAND.  WE LOOK TO THE LIGHT OF SANITY, HOPING THAT ON THE
287 MORROW WE MAY SEE A BETTER DAY, YET KNOWING THAT OUR TIME HAS BEEN RUN.
288 
289 =-=-= What??
290 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
291    This place is getting harder and harder to get onto anymore. 
292 
293  Valinor: I'm waiting for the next chapter, hurry before the package
294 explodes!
295 
296  Ninja: I can't help you with the '67 ford, but would you settle for one
297 out of a '69?  Lord knows the truck dosent work well enough to
298 do me any good.
299 
300 
301 Anyone out there into the wizardry trilogy?  I'm on #3 (just started) and
302 I was just wondering if I'm alone out here.  
303                    Bo
304 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
305 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
306 WELL, I'VE RECOVERED THANX TO THE HELPFUL INFO. AND SYMPATHIES. JUST
307 THOUGHT I'LD STOP IN AND LOOK FOR SOMETHING EXCITING..........BYE.
308 JASON: HELLO!
309 MIKEY: HAVE YOU HEARD THERE ARE RABID ANIMALS IN OUR FAIR NEIGHBORHOOD?
310 THEY WERE OUT HERE WITH GUNS LAST WEEK, NEAR MY HOUSE TRACKING ONE. THE
311 ANIMAL WAS ALREADY IN AN ADVANCED STAGE, FOAMING AT THE MOUTH AND ALL
312 THAT. DO YOU HAVE PETS?
313 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
314 THANX FER THE DRINK PIPER! IT REALLY HIT THE SPOT.
315 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
316 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
317  
318 Aaron,
319        Sorry to hear about the untimely death of Unicom. I was looking forward
320 to a multi-user system. As for a suitable game that would lend its self to 
321 a digital environment may I suggest a modified form of " Risk ". 
322 Where one combined the tactical requirements of Risk with the political 
323 intrigue and alliances that is found with Diplomacy. Perhaps even add Nuclear 
324 warfare as an option. Maybe even a file
325 on each Color--Country as to its intentions - and official stance towards its
326 neighbors ?....
327 Hmmmm . . . . . what potential
328  
329 D.O.M,
330        Good to see you back
331  
332 d,
333     I was worried about what happened to Nila
334  
335 :::::::::::Alex:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
336 Spektre: My compuuter still seems to be in a stage of bad working order I'm suprised I managed to get it turned on to write hel
337 anyway I guess it is about time to find my recept. give me a call after you read this
338 ************************** THE RUNNER *****************************************
339 help
340 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 27 Feb 84 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
341   >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   19:14   <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
342      Alex, you will need to inquire of a certain Capt`n Barefoot to
343 hear what became of Nila, not I!  I do believe I've seen the damp prints
344 of his feet by the hearth, under another name.  Add my appeal, if you
345 would, for Nila is charming in her innocence; I've wondered what had
346 become of her journey to 'where east begins' as well.
347      Jason Elliott?  Welcome to the Backwater Inn, my friend!  Truly, I
348 never expected to hear your voice in these lands; come, take a seat at
349 my table and I will instruct you in the manner of the gentle folk.
350      Deb, I'm anxious to see the scrolls you spoke of:  name a time.
351 The ticklers you left me made a smile quiver briefly when I saw them;
352 thank you for remembering me.  Like the rest, glad you shook off the cold.
353      Bard, amidst your many songs, do you have a solemn dirge?  Unicom's
354 demise should be honoured!  Aaron, how bedraggled and weary you look from
355 your travels--please, tarry a while by the fire, and refresh yourself.
356 Would you have a hot buttered rum to warm your bones, or mulled cider?
357      DOM, we will miss you when you sail away to Tokyo; your voice thunders
358 when you speak, and the echoes reberverate for days amidst the beams...
359      Mr. Tim, I would attempt to shake your hand, but as I am equally as
360 coordinated as you, I'll be content with smiling!  I was chortling in the
361 corner in delight over your wonderful ego, and I simply had to speak!
362      Pam, I almost dare not address you for fear you'll blow away as a
363 will'o the wisp; are you there, dear friend?
364 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>     d     <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
365   NOTE: The names in this sketch are those of the actors.  Not of the chara-
366         cters protrayed.  So Mrs. Idle is not related to Eric Idle in this
367         sketch.  - The Walrus, Goo goo g'joob.
368 
369                              THE RESTAURANT SKETCH
370 
371                Graham Chapman and Mrs. Idle are sitting in a restaurant.
372            Terry Jones, the waiter, walks towards them.
373 
374   M. IDLE: Nice here, isn't it?
375   CHAPMAN: Ah, a very good restaurant, three stars, you know.
376   M. IDLE: Really?
377     JONES: Good evening, sir.  Good evening, madam.  And may I say what a
378            pleasure it is to see you here again, sir.
379   CHAPMAN: Oh, thank you. (looking at the menu) Well, there you are, dear.
380            Take a look at that.  The Boffan Cruque is fantastic.
381     JONES: If I may suggest, sir, the Phesent a la Reine, the sauce is one
382            of the chef's most famous creations.
383   CHAPMAN: Mmmm, that sounds good. (to Mrs. Idle) Well, anyway, just have a
384            look.  Take your time. (to the waiter) Oh, by the way, I've got
385            a bit of a dirty fork, could you get me another one?
386     JONES: I beg your pardon?
387   CHAPMAN: Uh, it's nothing.  I've got a fork, it's a little bit dirty.
388            Could you get me another one?
389     JONES: Oh, sir, I do apoligize.
390   CHAPMAN: Oh, no need to apoligize.  It doesn't worry me.
391     JONES: No, no, no.  I do apoligize.  I will fetch the head waiter
392            immediatement.
393   CHAPMAN: Oh, there's no need to do that.
394     JONES: No, no.  I'm sure the head waiter, he will want to apoligize to
395            you himself.  I will fetch him at once.
396   M. IDLE: Well, you certainly get good service here.
397   CHAPMAN: They really look after you, yes. (Michael Palin, the head waiter,
398            arrives)
399     PALIN: Excuse me, sir, madam. (looks at the fork) It's filthy!  Garcon,
400            find out who washed this up and give them their card immediately!
401            No, better still, we can't afford to take any chances, sack the
402            entire washing-room staff.
403   CHAPMAN: Look, I don't want to make any trouble.
404     PALIN: No, please, it's no trouble.  It's quite right, though, you
405            should point these kind of things out.  Garcon, tell the manager
406            what has happened immediately!
407   CHAPMAN: No, no, please.  I don't want to cause any fuss.
408     PALIN: Please, it's no fuss.  We simply wish to assure that nothing
409            interferes with the complete enjoyment of your meal.
410   CHAPMAN: Oh, I'm sure it won't.  It's only a dirty fork.
411     PALIN: I know, and I'm sorry.  Bitterly sorry.  But I know that no apo-
412            ligies I can make can alter the fact that, in our restaurant,
413            you have been given a dirty, filthy, smelly piece of cuttlery!
414   CHAPMAN: It's not smelly.
415     PALIN: It's smelly, and obscene, and disgusting, and I hate it!  I hate
416            it!  I hate it!  Nasty, grubby, mangey, dirty little fork! (Eric
417            Idle, the manager, comes in and gestures Palin away.)
418      IDLE: Good evening, sir.  Good evening, madam.  I'm the manager.  I've
419            only just heard.  May I sit down?
420   CHAPMAN: Yes, of course.
421      IDLE: I want to apoligize humbly, deeply, and sincerely about the fork.
422   CHAPMAN: Oh, no need.  It's only a tiny thing.  You couldn't see it.
423      IDLE: Oh, you're good, kind, fine people for saying that.  But I can
424            see it.  To me it's like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus!  It
425            gets me here. (hits his chest) I can't give you any excuses for
426            it.  There are no excuses.  I've been meaning to spend more time
427            in the restaurant recently, but I haven't been too well.  Things
428                aren't going very well back there.  The poor cook's son has
429                been put away again, and poor Mrs. Delrimper who does the
430                washing up can hardly move her poor fingers.  And then there's
431                Gilberto's war wound.  But they're good people, and they're
432                kind people, and together we were beginning to get over this
433                dark patch. There was light at the end of the tunnel, when
434                this, when this happened! (he puts his head in his hands and
435                starts to cry)
436       CHAPMAN: Could I get you some water?
437       E. IDLE: It's the end of the road! (John Cleese, the cook, comes out
438                with a meat cleaver)
439        CLEESE: You bastards!  You vicious, heartless bastards! (Chapman laughs
440                as if it's all a practical joke) Look what you've done to him!
441                He's worked his fingers to the bone to make this place what it
442                is!  And you come in with your petty, feeble quibling, and you
443                grind him into the dirt!  This fine, honorable man who's boots
444                you are not worthy to kiss!  Oh, it makes me mad.  Mad. (he
445                throws the cleaver into the table) Mad.
446         PALIN: Easy Mongo, easy!  Mongo! (grabbing his head) Oh, the war wound!
447                The wound!  The wound!
448       E. IDLE: It's the end!  It's the end!! (stabbed himself with the fork)
449        CLEESE: He's dead!  You killed him! (Cleese retrieves the cleaver and
450                lifts it to attack Chapman but Palin stops him)
451             PALIN: Mongo!  Never kill a customer.  Oh, the wound!  The wound!
452                    (Cleese tries to kill Chapman again but Jones runs in and
453                    tackles him and they fly across the table)
454 
455                    And now, the punchline...
456 
457           CHAPMAN: Lucky we didn't say anything about the dirty knife.
458 
459 :.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
460 P.S. TO SYSOP - Please erase disk B the next time you need to delete one.
461   I did a lot of work getting the above sketch uploaded so I'd like to have
462   it on as long as possible.  Thanks.  - The Walrus
463 
464 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
465 TO THE ADVENTURERS:  May I join in your
466 journey to the BOLOS lot?  Maybe I can be of a little assistance.
467 
468 
469 LEONARD:  I was not exactly trying to be
470 factual, I was trying to make a point.
471 And the last I heard East Germany was communist and had
472 very little to do with our economy.  Learned that in
473 social studies you know.
474 But my point was, you can't solve anything
475 by destroying the world.  Except maybe peace (or maybe Pieces, millions of
476 little PIECES!).
477 
478 FOTI
479 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
480 *********************************************************************
481 DEB: RABID?! YUCK! NO, NO PETS, JUST THE COMUNAL DUCKS AND GEESE,BEAVER,
482 AND OTHER ODD AND ASSORTED TYPICAL NEIGBORHOOD ANIMALS, BUT NO PETS.
483 **********************************************************************
484 
485 FOTI, as i recall, you had indicated of Russia taking over Germany.
486 now since Russia already has control of East Germany, i think that Leonard
487 was save to assume that you were speaking of West Germany which Russia 
488 doesn't currently control (though they would like to very much, and
489 have continually stated so). However, be that as it may, thinking logically
490 doesn't help a whole lot when dealing with large super governments such as 
491 the US and Russia. Keep in mind that they have a vested interest in maintainling
492 control over the various contries for a number of reasosns, one as you pointed
493 out, the need to keep the source of their resorces in freindly hands.
494 But also, the desire to have others believe in the same way of life as
495 they do. They are no different then religonites in that respect, and is
496 problably why the two have gone hand in hand so often in the past.
497 A good way to view the two countries, is to think of them as a couple
498 of street gangs defending their turf, and trying to expand that teritory
499 whereever possible. SUre it aiN't logical to blow the world to smitherens,
500 but who ever said the world was run in  a logical manner?
501 ++++++++++++++++++++++ I. S. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
502 Black and yellow stars floated before the Poet's eyes as he tried to focus
503 his attention on what the Piper was saying.
504 "The ale? Yerrsss, itbf'S stglrongler thann yushull..."
505 He had to stop at that point, because someone was flashing the lights. This
506 struck him as odd, for as all actors know it's nearly impossible to flash 
507 candle-and-lamplight. Flicker, yes; flash, no. He was attempting to comment
508 on this to Graymalkin when the room began spinning, and he was sucked down 
509 into blackness...
510                 && The Mad Actor &&
511 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
512 .............................                                         . . . . .
513 .
514 a thought drifting in blackness..
515 the apprentice reality pills.
516 ...hairy fishnuts.......NO!!...the thought was too mutch
517 ....flying fish
518 ......blackness
519 
520 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
521 	The apprentice, realizing that the ale had been drugged spun into action.
522 He made a few gestures (later onlookers would claim that his hands seemed to
523 flicker in and out of existence), and spoke an incantation under his breath. The
524 room seemed to recede into the distance and then snapped back into sharp focus.
525 	As the drinkers straightened up, he spoke; "I'm sorry but I had to remove ALL 
526 the foriegn substances in your bodies, what a waste of good liquor..." 
527 	"I suggest that we continue this discussion in private," raising his voice, 
528 "Milord innkeeper, we shall be using the OTHER back room."
529 	"But there isn't..." began the innkeeper. The apprentice raised an eyebrow,
530 paused and then winked. The innkeeper finished," Very well, whatever you say."
531 He turned away muttering something about "people changing the inn all the time."
532 ...................................the apprentice...............................
533 Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall,
534 Aleph-null bottles of beer.
535 Take one down, pass it around.
536 Aleph-null bottles of beer on the wall.
537 
538 	The bard broke off the song he had been singing (for some time it seemed) and
539 looked around. The ale... there must have been something in it..
540 
541 	His head clear now, he observed the exchange between the apprentice & the 
542 innkeeper with a smile. Rising to join the others in moving to "the OTHER" (?!) 
543 backroom, he suddenly remembered a request that d had made just before things 
544 started getting weird.
545 	He paused, bowed toward the lady and began.
546 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
547 		The Dying Robot (words: Jeff Speiser, tune: Red River Valley)
548 Oh, this lonely old robot is aching,
549 And his parts, they are wearing away.
550 Some new parts he'll soon now be needing,
551 But their cost no one will defray.
552 
553 Oh, my photoreceptors are failing,
554 And my eyesight begins to grow dim.
555 Some new parts they say they are mailing,
556 But my chances begin to look slim.
557 
558 I've been true, I've been brave, I've been loyal.
559 I have met each and every human test.
560 But as soon as this tired body wears out
561 They'll just toss me on the scrap heap with the rest.
562 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
563 ps piper, I see that you recognized them too! shhh, don't spill the beans (ouch!)
564 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
565 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
566     d, SHALL I ASSUME YOU ARE GOING TO BE AROUND FOR A WHILE? PERHAPS I
567 COULD INTEREST YOU IN A LIVELY DISCUSSION.......LIKE THE ONES THAT USED
568 TO RAMPAGE BETWEEN US. WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN SUCH AN EXCHANGE?.......
569 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
570 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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