From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Questions...   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 09:05:03
Message Number  5051

The Yngling-
   I'm not sure, but at least one Estonian here will miss Sammy.
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Correction     
Date & Time: 05/25/90 09:07:32
Message Number  5052

Harumph!
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/25/90 09:10:35
Message Number  5053

Capital-why ee ess comma bee you tea space Capital-gee oh dee space
ell oh vee ee ess space why oh you period
           Capital-See period Capital-Pee period Capital-you period
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Griffin dormant
Date & Time: 05/25/90 09:13:57
Message Number  5054

   Just in the past two days, someone was trying to simultaneously
convert me to astrology and Christianity, I've been told that I've been
put on the equivalent of probation (and didn't know it -- and haven't
yet failed a contract...), when I was going to give a recorder lesson,
I walked in on my fellow students all in medieval costume, giving a
lecture; and there were peope outside my door flinging ice cream,
chocolate syrup, nuts (both chopped peanuts and chopped walnuts), and
cherries at each other. 
                  Ghods!
  
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: JONBOY              
Subject: New Subject:   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 09:24:38
Message Number  5055

Dear Jonboy, 
   Would a loving God create his "highest form of life" so that they
couldn't understand Him/Her at all? (Granted: there might be parts
that we can't understand -- simply by being creation, rather than 
creators.)
   The problem of evil is a serious one -- and has existed for many
millenia...
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Troi           
Date & Time: 05/25/90 11:55:07
Message Number  5057

I mean't permanently green, but I suppose a connection could be made
between green women and bad cooking.
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: generous       
Date & Time: 05/25/90 11:58:45
Message Number  5058

Bush is enough of an idiot, he could very well be a born again christian
(no offense Chip, honest) Never heard of Jimmy being a born again 
christian, maybe he was one of the few that didn't make a fool of him-
self regularly. If he isn't an imbecile about it, the president can be
any religion he wants in my book. Now Reagan.. "Yes, yes, let's have
prayer in the schools" << What a Schmuck!
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:01:20
Message Number  5059

Kill Riker & Wesley in a funny way, like a homosexual love spat, with
Wesley being so distraught he blows hiself and Riker... yeahh that's it!
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:03:25
Message Number  5060

Wesley just needs to be a /real/ kid that get's annoyed by saying "Yes
sir, Captain sir!" every once in a while. I'd actually like to see him
get pissed and kick Riker in the jaw. (Give the guy a few hours practice
and I'm sure he could pull off a decent crescent kick) -- write in himj
learning martial arts somehow... makes him less of a smart little geek
that gets thrown in the plot-line every once in a while when they need
a boy wonder. Stage a good fist-fight... or else just have him do some-
thing other than be a complete brat or sickly respectful.
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Arrgh!         
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:11:45
Message Number  5061

Swords against ............
 Fill in the blank..  I loved Leiber's originality on the titles. 
But you're right in my book, I've never read anyone who "Did the barb-
aric fantasy thing" better than him. Well.. maybe Brian Daley with 
"Doomfarers of Coramonde" and the sequel: Starfarers, but he was a 
little bit more complex, so probably shouldn't be thrown into the the 
same catagory. - On that note, there's a Lin Carter series I never 
finished.. one of them was "Hurok of the Stone Age" continued on with
"XXXX of the Bronze Age" et al.. but I haven't ever run into any of the
others.. anybody? anybody?
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: THRUD               
Subject: Smithsonian?   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:30:13
Message Number  5062

 Smithsonian?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: CORWYN OF AMBER     
Subject: Troi           
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:34:00
Message Number  5063

   He meant to say Greek.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BLACK MAGIC         
Subject: --             
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:34:54
Message Number  5064

  I told you I dropped out three years ago. I'm occasionally working on 
my GED though.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: To Angel       
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:39:05
Message Number  5065

  Or become a GLOW girl.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:40:53
Message Number  5066

  So it doesn't matter that there are hundreds of innocent people on the
ship, as long as Picard dies with honor?
 
   Any honorable person will agree that to save lives of innocents is 
more honorable than killing them by fighting.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: RUFUS               
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:44:57
Message Number  5067

 I think fall.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: RUFUS               
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:46:40
Message Number  5068

  I HATE Boggle!! WORST GAME IN THE WORLD! UNIVERSE! BEYOND!!!
 
    whew. A Boggle hating Spellwind dude.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: THRUD               
Subject: green women    
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:50:39
Message Number  5070

  Jane Fonda is a blue woman
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/25/90 12:53:05
Message Number  5071

 Why don't you all leave Arnold Schwarandpeacewasagoodbookbutnotmystyle
ilikesomethingabitmorefastpacedandadventurousereidonthavetolistentowin
ger alone?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: YNGLING             
Subject: -              
Date & Time: 05/25/90 13:05:56
Message Number  5072

   I'll take a gander at this one.
                   
                  Paint Your w
       W
Wagon
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: JONBOY              
Subject: YOU            
Date & Time: 05/25/90 13:17:35
Message Number  5073

    What the HELL are you talking about?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: JONBOY              
Subject: FUCK YOU       
Date & Time: 05/25/90 13:22:31
Message Number  5074

  The subjct says it all. Who do you think you are analyzing me? I have 
said this before, just not here. I think YOU are overconfident.
===========

From: CRYSTAL             
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Puzzles...     
Date & Time: 05/25/90 13:32:18
Message Number  5075

     I was raised a Catholic and to be honest with you I could only 
guess.  I would probably guess yes.  Because you knew it was a sin to
eat meat on that day.  Their for you knew you were sinning so you know
you will burn in Hell.  The same question could be asked about marriage.
When the priest dies are you still married?  Something my dad asked my
mom when the priest died that married them.  He was raised Protestent.
                             * CRYSTAL *
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: THRUD               
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/25/90 16:01:44
Message Number  5078

>You don't (gasp!) associate yourself with the likes of fonda and
>liberals do you ?
 
Ahem! The sysop of this board IS a liberal, thank you very much!
That DOESN'T imply any sort of identity with Jane Fonda; I happen to
think that she's a pathetic, simpering, self-important little idiot
whose actions during the Viet Nam War were utterly inexcusable.
Believing that all liberals are made from the Jane Fonda mold is
rather like believing that all conservatives are brainless prats like
Dan Quayle or greedy, self-serving hypocrites like Pat Robertson.
I /will/ state, as a general rule, that I find most liberals to be
less offensive than most conservatives; liberals are less likely to
force their morality on me, believe that wanton destruction of
everything around them is a neat-o thing to do if you can find a way
to profit from it, or in general behave in unacceptable and reckless
manners that are immediately hazardous to my freedom and my physical
well-being than are liberals. Conservatives are generally more
insecure and reactive as a whole than liberals are, as well--if they're
not whining about burning in Hell for listening to rock music, they're
screaming that the Commies are gonna invade us any day now if we don't
get 'em first. Hey, it's an imperfect world.
                   --A liberal Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: JONBOY              
Subject: JW & You       
Date & Time: 05/25/90 16:23:29
Message Number  5079

We get the occasional odd Jehovah's Witness through drive-through
at McDonalds, and some of 'em can really use a little misdirected
hostility. We got one person recently who was so persistent in
witnessing for the Lord on McOpCo property that the manager
kindly and patiently explained to her that McDonald's does not
permit that sort of activity on its premesis and has, in fact, had
people arrested for distributing religious propaganda, then suggested
that she find a better place to stuff her literature. It wasn't until
the last that she took the hint.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: JONBOY              
Subject: IBMs           
Date & Time: 05/25/90 16:27:04
Message Number  5080

Any news yet on the next chapter of the "Apple sues Microsoft for
stealing Finder's 'look' and Xerox sues Apple for stealing the
SmallTalk 'look'" thing? I'm always rather amused by Apple's remarkable
arrogance when they try to convince everyone that they started the
windows-icons-and-mice bit when everyone who's anyone knows that
Xerox gave Apple the idea...
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: JONBOY              
Subject: Simple Subject 
Date & Time: 05/25/90 16:30:46
Message Number  5081

>...I'm havin a hard time keepin my motivation up for this - gimmee
>a simple subject...
 
Hmm. I'm afraid I'm fresh out of 'em at the moment. I'm starting to get
kinda burned out on the debate-the-unprovable bit myself, though...
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: New Subject:   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 16:37:13
Message Number  5082

>Would a loving God create his "highest form of life" so that they
>couldn't understand him/her at all?
 
Now there's an arrogant attitude for you! Perhaps God would never
/dream/ of such a thing, but God hasn't created the highest form
of life yet. The tool he uses to create life is evolution, and it
hasn't finished yet.
 
"Extinction is the destiny of all species...It is the arrogance of
humanity to assume they are the be-all and end-all of creation."
        --Stephen J. Gould
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: -ALL-               
Subject: Religion (?)   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 16:43:58
Message Number  5084

Excerpted from OMNI, June 1990:
 
"The times have changed, and so have witches and other practitioners of
pagan religions. Where once they could be counted on to concoct a brew
of herbs, today's witches, warlocks, and other pagans are just as likely
to prepare a potion of bits, bytes, and binary code...[T]he largest
occupational groupings of pagan practitioners include computer pro-
grammers, software developers, and systems analysts."
 
What? Not members of heavy-metal groups?
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: TURTLE              
Subject: New Subject:   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 17:38:09
Message Number  5085

Of course, Stevie Gould's only problem is that everything he writes has
the anthropologically equivalent undertone of everything that Bob
Dylan sings: "I'm Stephen J. Gould and you're not."  He will talk about
everything from fossils to, one suspects, way of spreading brie cheese
on crackers as if all the conclusions have already been reached, he
knows them, and now that he's shared them with you, end of debate--if
you think he should even allow doubt, much less consider the possibility
that he's, well, wrong, then you're obviously a deluded, nonscientific
Creationist technophobe.  Evolution IS still "just a theory," especially
when you consider how many different ways people claim the process may
work.  I have seen so many columns where he blithely dismisses any
interpretation of evolutionary data that runs counter to his own that
it's kind of turned me off to the guy; he acts as if God came down to
him, handed him all the noted He made during creation, and thoughtfully
gave him conclusive proof of His Own Non-Existence on the way out.
Being one of those weird sf types, I *like* "what if" scenarios, and I
don't like having Mr. Gould tell me "well, you're an idiot" if one of
those scenarios involves the question, "what if evolution	 doesn't work
quite the way the 1990's scientific community thinks it does?"  After
all, they don't think it works the same way the 1950's community did,
and chances are, the 2030's community will have an entirely new twist
that nobody around now, including Stephen J. Gould, will know about.  He
is the scientific equivalent of George Will: a very good writer of
nonfiction, a good explicator of his chosen field and an admirable man
in many respects, but a pompous twit nonetheless.
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Blue women     
Date & Time: 05/25/90 17:47:26
Message Number  5086

>> Jane Fonda is a blue woman.
> Jane Fonda is a twit.
 
Therefore, Jane Fonda is a blue, female twit?  If you made a point here,
or in your last anti-Jane spew, it must not have made it out of the
message save routine.  A whole lot of pointLESS ad hominem attacks seem
to have replaced them, making the whole thing sound like one of Dan
Flahive's (in)famous Earth First! spews on the Rowrbrazzle BBS.
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Troi           
Date & Time: 05/25/90 17:58:51
Message Number  5087

Thanks for cluing me in Spellwind... I had no idea.
 
                        - A "Gee, you're so helpful" Corwyn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: IBMs           
Date & Time: 05/25/90 18:03:28
Message Number  5088

> when everyone who's anyone knows that Xerox gave Apple the idea...
 
Give is a kind word to use... maybe: "Xerox had their technology 
blatently stolen by Apple. I don't have a problem with Apple claiming
that they have a right to use the interface, just that they claim owner-
ship to it, and refuse the rights of anyone else to use the GUI concept.
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: *.?                 
Subject: DESQview/X     
Date & Time: 05/25/90 18:12:15
Message Number  5089

Quarterdeck has announced that they're developing a version of DESQ-
view that supports the Xwindows (11) standard. I'll upload a file called
desqview.arc that has some more info on it.
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Jane Fonda     
Date & Time: 05/25/90 23:02:11
Message Number  5090

    Gee, all this Jane Fonda ragging and no Sauron to help?
===========

From: THRUD               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Smithsonian?   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 23:39:44
Message Number  5091

nah. watch some ST reruns. hint - I hate it when the Lexington
makes a run on the Enterprise.
===========

From: THRUD               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: conservatism   
Date & Time: 05/25/90 23:47:31
Message Number  5092

ok ok - I agree not to hang the Jane fonda wrap on you if you
desist from hanging the Dan Quale albatross on me. I still have
not idea why George picked that geek for veep - my money says
we dump him for Jack Kemp next time around.
   I'm glad you just trashed conservatives in general and not me
in particular last time around - I'd hate to get into a knock down
drag out with the operator of such an enjoyable board - no matter
what your political shortcomings are. Incidently, the new
conservative platform states that you will burn in hell if you 
DON'T listen to rock music. Rappers and dittyboppers beware....
                     A Conservative Thrud
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Whorf          
Date & Time: 05/26/90 00:11:23
Message Number  5093

Turtle -
Whorf couldnt kick my little sisters ass!  He hasnt won a fight yet
(except on the holodeck). 
                        The Yngling
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: THRUD               
Subject: D.T.           
Date & Time: 05/26/90 00:33:42
Message Number  5094

Thrud -
You dont drink while school's in session?!? My Ghod man, thats the
most important time to toss back a few!  I shudder when I try to
envision college ( not to mention high school ) without the assistance
of Dr Daniel's Magic Healing Elixer....get your priorities straight
dammit!
                           The Yngling
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: JONBOY              
Subject: hostility      
Date & Time: 05/26/90 00:42:40
Message Number  5095

Actually, it is my hostile nature which makes me so perfectly suited
to my vocation.
                     The Yngling
===========

From: YNGLING             
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: -              
Date & Time: 05/26/90 00:49:36
Message Number  5096

Nope.  I dont recall the exact title of the movie (sorry) but it was
the old black and white "horror" flick from the fifties where the
"giant" tarantula walks around crushing things...anyway, old squinty
eyes was the pilot of the bomber which drops the ineffectual bombs
on the beast and he says one line, something like: Im beginning my
bombing run.  Of course its hard to recognize him with the flight
helmet & oxygen mask covering most of his face...but its him.
                                       The Yngling
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/26/90 00:59:13
Message Number  5097

YouclaimArnoldsnameisnotthatdifficulttospellbutIhaveyettoseeanyone-
includingmyselfspellitcorrectlysowetrytohideourspellingdifficiencies-
behindalameattemptathumorbymakingthenameaslongaspossible.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: RUFUS               
Subject: phasers        
Date & Time: 05/26/90 01:01:17
Message Number  5098

> ...set phasers on emasculate.
 
OOh, ouch!  Well, at least the vocal arrangements should be interesting
in the 23rd century.  Five part harmony: bass, tenor, soprano, alto,
and castrato.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Wheaton        
Date & Time: 05/26/90 01:13:24
Message Number  5099

Did Wheaton really go to the producers and say 'ENOUGH!'  Good for him.
I always thought Wesley was a twit, but since I've really enjoyed
Wil Wheaton in everything else I've seen him do, I assumed the
'twittiness' came from the scripts.  I really don't see what purpose
his character serves in the series.  It irks me to see a kid
hot-rodding the Enterprise through the galaxy.  It just reeks of
'cute', and somehow I never thought Star Fleet Admiralty accepted
cute ideas for staffing of the flag vessel of their fleet.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Puzzles...     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 01:20:23
Message Number  5100

Eating meat on a Friday was a venial sin, not a mortal one.  To die
with that sin unconfessed (and unabsolved) would just lengthen your
stretch in purgatory.  Those meat-sinners were probably already
parolled by the time the rules were changed.  (Though I believe there
are still some appeals pending for career-criminal meat-eaters who
never revealed their sins in confession.)
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: YNGLING             
Subject: What?          
Date & Time: 05/26/90 01:26:49
Message Number  5101

No, I did not receive payment, I am strictly a volunteer over-the-head-
skirt-flipper (not available for weddings or bar mitzvahs).  The promo
was for "The King And I", a show that will be opening at the Players
of Sarasota on June 8.  I have a pivotal, extremely prominent role in
the production (I'm the third wife from the left).
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Fonda          
Date & Time: 05/26/90 01:44:07
Message Number  5102

> ...changed her mind about anything as far as political ethics go
> (which she has, publicly
 
Actually, she didn't publicly announce a change of mind or heart.
I have the Barbara Walters interview on tape if you would like to
see it.  She did apologize, but the apology was for the pain that
her actions inflicted, not for the actions.  She did admit her
posing for photos in the gun turrets was not smart.  She still stood
behind her belief that American prisoners were never tortured, though
she apologized for calling the released prisoners liars (there's
obviously a logic flaw there).  In the interview she expressed pride
for her involvement with the North Vietnamese and for her stance
against the American government and is still confirmed in her belief
that the American bombing of North Vietnam was an illegal act and
all soldiers who participated were guilty of war crimes.
    Actually, the only thing she was sorry for, was that people are
still miffed after all these years.  I share your opinion that her
political views should have no bearing on her pursuit of acting.
Yet, it was her prominence as an actress that garnered so much
publicity for her 'cause' in the sixties.  When you take advantage
of your position in the public light to draw attention to your
politics, you've got to expect that people will thereafter link
your political views to your work.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 02:05:19
Message Number  5103

Quite a list of negative conservative traits.  Sorry, I just can't
go along with your expressed ideas.  You are saying, in general,
liberals are good and conservatives are bad.  Do you really consider
yourself open-minded on the subject?  
   This is one conservative who is fed-up with self-proclaimed
open-minded liberals who assume that I am evil because I do not
share their politcal beliefs.  The differences between liberals and
conservatives are based on politics; it is NOT a confrontation between
good and evil.
   On what do you base your beliefs that only one politcal sect holds
the copyright on virtue?  I'm not being argumentative here.  But
frankly, knowing your level of intelligence and antipathy to prejudice,
your post frankly shocks me.  Try re-reading it, and substituting
'negro' for conservative and 'white' for liberal, and you'll see that
that is really on offensive message, one which you would probably
delete from the board.  (We could play this game with any words,
try 'faggots' and 'real men', 'pro-lifers' and 'pro-choicers',
ad nauseum).
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 08:15:50
Message Number  5106

I did go back and re-read Turtle's post trying to substitute other words
for "liberal" and "conservative" and it didn't work for much the same
reason it wouldn't if that had been, say, a Dave Barry column -- the
attributes he was making light of are tagged to a person's political
views, not race, sexual preference or what have you.  I'd also find his
post difficult to take as seriously as you apparently did -- for much
the same reason I'd have had if it had been, say, a Dave Barry column.
When people are being funny, even to make a point, they are going to
be exaggerating things.  If *you* go back and re-read that message, you
might notice it's not meant to be taken all that seriously--I sure
wouldn't, and it's patently obvious Turtle wouldn't, either.
   I suspect the sysop here is one of the more open-minded people you're
likely to run into.  If it was any more open, his brain would fall out.
Maybe it already has.  At any rate, so he's a liberal.  He's a liberal
because he doesn't like conservative politics.  He made fun of some of
the things that can be most offensive about reactionary attitudes.  He
is *not* alone in this.  At least he *does* have a sense of humor about
it; many conservatives I have talked to seem to seriously believe that
by calling someone a "liberal" in a conversation, you can immediately
discredit everything they have to say, end of discussion, and that
anyone who *admits* to being a liberal is slightly to the left of
Abbie Hoffman.  I find this a hell of a lot more offensive than I have
conservative counterparts to Turtle's spew, which I have seen before--
but not often.  Evidently conservatives lack, in addition to common
sense, the ability to laugh at themselves.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: THRUD               
Subject: Bush           
Date & Time: 05/26/90 09:44:34
Message Number  5107

   Hopefully, we won't vote vor him the 'next' time around. He was used 
to being vice president and he Really does next to nothing. I'll 
especially vote third party if there's another mudslinging routine, 
besides, it might do the country some good to get a third party pres.
   You people AREN'T voting for Bob Martinez are you?
 
    A sometimes doubtful of his rep. stat Spellwind dude.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/26/90 09:51:43
Message Number  5108

  I told you the spelling, yet you do not use it! I accost thee!
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Wheaton        
Date & Time: 05/26/90 09:54:41
Message Number  5109

    You've seen wheaton in another role?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: What?          
Date & Time: 05/26/90 09:56:13
Message Number  5110

    How about bachelor parties?
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 14:41:21
Message Number  5111

> Try re-reading it, and substituting 'negro' for conservative, and 
> 'white' for liberal.
 
You can't make this substitution without changing the entire content of
the message, giving it no relation to the original message.  
Conservative and Liberal are terms to describe a persons attitudes, 
while 'negro' and 'white' simply describe a person's skin color. 
 
If I posted a message saying that, in general, I like Anarchists better
than fascists, would you say it was offensive. I would not be saying 
that all fascists are terrible, evil poeple, just that I believe Anarch-
ists tend to be slightly nicer people than fascists.
 
I don't persecute people because they are conservative, and I don't 
believe Turtle does either, however, if someone wants to support George
Bush, Dan Quayle, et al.. /then/ I will confront them, and attempt to
show them the light of the liberal way.. (just kidding) 
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: New Subject:   
Date & Time: 05/26/90 16:04:48
Message Number  5113

So what's your point? Mr. Gould's remark on the arrogance of Homo
sapiens sapiens still has some bearing on the discussion at hand.
(An idea is valid or invalid on its own merits, regardless of the
source...)
Pthpth!
                --A valid Turtle
By the way, what do you /really/ think of him?
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Blue women     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 16:06:46
Message Number  5114

Yes, but you don't understand. Jane Fonda is a twit.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: THRUD               
Subject: conservatism   
Date & Time: 05/26/90 16:15:22
Message Number  5115

>Ok ok - I agree not to hang the Jane fonda wrap on you if you agree
>not to hang the Dan Quayle albatross on me.
 
Hey, that reminds me of this poem I read once. There was this guy, see,
and he was on a boat, and there was this albatross following him.
Anyway, the guy killed the albatross (musta been an NRA member--I
wonder if he used armor-piercing shells?) and, like, some really un-
groovy things happened to him. Anyway, what was my point?
   Oh yeah. Equating all liberals with the Jane Fonda school of
political expression is probably approximately as invalid as equating
all conservatives with the Dan Quayle school of foot-in-mouthism.
Yeah, that musta been it.
                 --A still liberal Turtle
The road to enlightenment, Grasshopper, begins with a single mixed
metaphor. The rest are available on an easy payment plan.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Whorf          
Date & Time: 05/26/90 16:21:06
Message Number  5116

>Whorf couldnt kick my little sisters ass!
 
Yes, but would you let her date him?
 
>He hasn't won a fight yet...
 
Actually, that isn't really true, although he seems not to get into
brawls quite as regularly as Kirk did. Whorf brings a "conflict is the
last measure one should take to solve a problem" mentality with him into
the security thing, which is kind of interesting. And the new Enterprise
could turn the old Enterprise into space dust before it knew what
happened...
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 16:32:22
Message Number  5117

>Try re-reading it...and you'll see that this is really on offensive
>message, one which you would probably delete from the board.
 
Hmm? Delete an offensive message from the public eye because I don't
agree with it? What a remarkably...well, conservative idea. I don't
engage in censorship, ever.
 
At any rate, I'm actually rather surprised that you actually found that
message offensive (!), and even more astonished that you would seroiusly
consider it on par with, say, racism (I did the "substitute the word
"negro" for "conservative" thing, and it didn't make any sense. Did
you?)...or for that matter, take it seriously at all. No, I don't
automatically consider all liberals "good" (re-read the bits about Jane
Fonda) or all conservatives "evil;" no, I don't refuse to associate
with conservatives or anything equally silly. I was also going to
respond to your message in a much more lighthearted fashion until
I hit the bit about deleting the original; ironically, that is EXACTLY
the sort of "I don't like it--get rid of it" attitude that actually
DOES turn me off the conservative ideal. (There's something remarkably
poetic there...) Anyway, the upshot of this rather incoherent message
is that if you took the original seriously (and I was relieved to note
that the person at whom it was aimed did not), you deserved to.
           --A liberal and anti-censorship Turtle
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 20:32:32
Message Number  5118

> ... conservatives I have talked to seem to seriously believe that
> by calling a someone a "liberal" ... you can immediately discredit
> everything they have to say.
 
And I find that attitude offensive as well.  Turtle's message seems
to be the same attitude, except aimed in a different direction.  And,
yes, I am humorless about negative stereotypes of all kind.  It's
most disturbing in people that I know to be intelligent and
well-versed in current topics, such as the great hard-shelled one.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/26/90 20:36:28
Message Number  5119

>  I told you the spelling, yet you do not use it!  I accost thee!
 
I accost thee in return, sir.  You misspelled it in your correction,
check the message.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE,DONTHEN,ET AL
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/26/90 20:47:16
Message Number  5120

"In general, I find whites less offensive than most blacks ... or in 
general behave in unacceptable and reckless manners that are 
immediately hazardous to my freedom and my physical well being than
are whites.  Blacks are in general, more insecure and reactive as a
whole than whites are, as well."
  
Substitution worked for me.  You don't find this strange?  Jimmy the
Greek got fired for less, and our least favorite 60 minutes 
commentator got suspended for far less.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: censorship     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 20:51:44
Message Number  5121

When talking censorship, I was thinking more of the Den than Altered 
Reality .... was recalling times back when Donthen was in objection
to the faggot-bashing posts.  Believe he deleted several from
general reading.  Does this make him a conservative?
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: ANGEL               
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/26/90 20:55:51
Message Number  5122

The substitution parses, but makes no sense out of context.  Do you also
do this to George Carlin routines?  I have seen Turtle's message pass by
the monitor several times and still find it difficult to understand how
it can be taken so deadly seriously.  Yes, it's probable that us flaming
liberals see a grain of truth in what he was saying -- if we didn't, we
wouldn't be liberals.
   I don't honestly see how this can be considered "conservative
bashing."  It pales in comparison to even mild flame wars I've been
involved in, is patently, obviously tongue-in-cheek ("...believe that
wanton destruction	 of the environment is a neat-o keen thing to do" is
Jay Leno commentary, not Walter Cronkite), and when it comes right down
to it, isn't even nice to liberals.  It says they're LESS LIKELY to do
those things than conservatives are.
   This entire chain is following the same logic people use when they
say "The Desert Peach" (a comic about Rommel's homosexual half-brother)
is either denigrating to gays or teaches our children The Wrong Values,
depending on whether the attacker is more liberal or more conservative.
What's wrong with poking fun at conservatives?  God knows I've had to
put up with a lot much more mean-spirited comments when I make such
patently liberal statements as "wouldn't making flag-burning illegal
be contrary to the ideals of the Bill of Rights?"  When a conservative
who wants to "attack" me shows as much creativity as Turtle's post did,
not to mention a decided lack of venom, I'm usually glad, considering
the alternatives I've seen.
   By the way, if you got really offended when you read Jonathon
Swift's "A Modest Proposal", he didn't really want to cook the babies.
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: ANGEL               
Subject: censorship     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 21:06:53
Message Number  5123

The only message I have ever deleted from my board was one from Sauron
to you which exceeded my personal vulgarity quotient.  It was not in
the homosexuality debate.  Some of those messages were lost in a disk
crash.
   Actually, that's not true.  I deleted some of my own messages in that
chain, before anyone read them, because I thought they were too nasty
with respect to one or two people.  The only thing I would not tolerate
on my board, and will probably never tolerate, are pointless ad
hominem attacks on specific other users.  This does not make me a
censor, conservative, liberal or otherwise.
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: ANGEL               
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/26/90 21:45:15
Message Number  5124

While you may be very serious about negative stereotypes, (and ethnic
jokes can be a nasty contributor to this) there is still such a thing as
overreaction. Turtle's message, even taken completetly seriously, was
/still/ describing people in terms of their philosophies, /not/ in terms
of some uncontrollable characteristic. By substiting "Negro" <- which is
in itself a loaded term, and "White" You are taking liberties with his
message. Doing so has about as much relevance as substitutuing the same
words for "cherry
                 " and "chocoloate" in this sentence:
 I like cherry, but I can't stand chocolate.
In a nutshell, as Donthen pointed out earlier.. Turtle is a very open-
minded person about almost anything except MS-DOS. Failure to recognize
humor on this board can be dangerous to your sensibilities.
 
 
                         - Corwyn
 
 "There are two kinds of fool:
     One says, 'This is old, and therefore good.'
     One says, 'This is new, and therefore better.'   "
         - Bruce Sterling "The Shockwave Rider"
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Bill & Ted     
Date & Time: 05/26/90 22:26:13
Message Number  5125

 > Jason
 
  Hey, dude, does this mean you like to make living-dead axe murderers 
your role models?
 
 > They're basically the same as Bill & Ted
 
  Never thought of it that way...
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/26/90 22:43:26
Message Number  5126

> You won't see aSt movie until after a TNG movie...
 
 Theoreticaly, yeah, but they are trying REALLY hard to get something in
production for ST's 25th Anniversary (Fall 1991)... ST:TNG will be on 
for around five or six seasons. After that, they may be doing a TNG 
movie in 1994... There is NO way they will be doing an original Trek 
movie that far in the future. The original cast is getting too old to do
a movie in 1994 or 1995. Concievably, one of the cast members may have 
died by then. 
  Actually, there has been a big controversy in Trek fandom over a 
supposed "Academy Days" movie. This may be a cover up to hide a movie
in production. Paramount actually wants to make the movie, but Gene 
Roddenberry doesn't want them to do the Academy thing.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/26/90 22:50:56
Message Number  5127

> GEY WARP ENGINES THAT ARE RELIABLE ALREADY...
 
  They are reliable...
 
> (Get a cloaking device, too...)
 
  No can do, dude. It just won't happen. NO Federation ship uses 
cloaking devices. Actually, ships like the Enterprise don't need them.
The ships that use them (Klingon Bird Of Prey, Romulan Warbird) are for
combat, not exploration. There isn't a reason to get a cloaking device 
on the Enterprise.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: THRUD               
Subject: brain usage    
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:04:12
Message Number  5128

 > love the cleavage queen.
 
  Troi? Yes, she's quite an interesting character, and interesting to 
look at. 
 
 > I could do without wes...
 
 I dunno why, but I've always liked Wesley. Sometimes, the writers throw
the idea out into left field, it is a neat thing. They're doing better 
with him this season.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:16:01
Message Number  5129

> and they cloak /all/ of THEIR ships...
 
  BZZZTT! Wrong, dude! Think back to the original Trek series. The 
original Klingon ships weren't cloaked. Also, I'd like you to point out
the episode where someone says, "All Klingon and Romulan ships have
cloaking devices."
 
 > because they get attacked every other episode...
 
  The Enterprise gets attacked in less than 1/3 of the episodes. Besides
that, the cloaking devices would cause the ever-annoyed Romulans to 
think the Federation is covertly sneaking into the Neutral Zone or some
thing like that. Not too good when negotiating peace.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: brain usage    
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:23:09
Message Number  5130

> Whorf
 That's Worf.
> --A Star Trek Turtle
 That's interesting to know...
> I want to congratulate the man who designed her uniform...
 Add me to that list, also put me on the list to fire the guy who 
designed her uniform from the first season (the green one)..
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:27:42
Message Number  5131

 > Watch for Aliens III
 
 Do you think that this new sequel will remain faithful to the first two
films, or do you think that someone is going to turn it into blood-and-
guts-for-fun?
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Spelling       
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:31:34
Message Number  5132

 > It's Schwarznegger.
 
 No, it's Schwarzenegger.=
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: THRUD               
Subject: brain usage    
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:34:10
Message Number  5133

> Triv:
 
 Wasn't it the Daystrom institute??
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Troi           
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:36:26
Message Number  5134

>> Green women are usually very beautiful women.
 
 I think you messed up.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:41:26
Message Number  5135

> Romulans don't do the research thing.
 
 WRONG!
 
> "They're a research vessel, so we can threaten to fire on 'em."
 
  Oh, okay, so point out this episode. Also, don't point out any episode
unless you can get a quote similar to the one you made.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:44:00
Message Number  5136

 > or is it Alien III or Alienses?
  
  Well, technically it should be Alien III. The fact that the second 
title wasn't the same as the first didn't stop the idiot who named 
"Rambo III"...
 
  Alien III will be out in summer 1991, along with Terminator II
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:49:50
Message Number  5137

>...oop OP oop OP OP, oop OP walla walla bing bang
 
 Don't you know ANYTHING? It's "ooh-ee, ooh-ah-ah, bing bang, walla 
walla bing bang."
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: TREE BEARD          
Subject: skirts II      
Date & Time: 05/26/90 23:53:37
Message Number  5138

> Siscal and Ubert...sequals...ect. all.
 I hate when people misspell etc.
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 00:21:50
Message Number  5139

Look, it is good to have anyways....If the enterprise was /just/
for exploration, then why have PHOTON TORPEDOS and PHASERS!?  They
could just add the cloaking device as part of their defense...
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: BEATLE              
Subject: DWEEBS and TNG!
Date & Time: 05/27/90 00:24:10
Message Number  5140

Ack!  I never knew you were capable of writing such as [In Bart Voice]
ssssssssssstttuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupiiiiiid message!
 
Anyways, name an episode where they say all the birds of prey have
cloaking devices -- THE ROMULANS HAVE CLOAKING, THE KLINGONS HAVE
CLOAKING, WHY CAN'T THE FEDERATION!?  sheesh!  
 
> Not too good when negotiating peace.
 
A defensive weapon isn't good?  The best offense is a good defense!
That's why the cold war is over, dude....
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 00:28:57
Message Number  5141

Derek, you are an ... well, I won't say ... ANyways, name an episode
where the Romulans did the research thing.....
 
> Oh, okay, so point out this episode.  Also, don't point out any episod
> unless you can get a quote similar to the one you made.
 
Beatle, you're an ... Never mind -- Okay, THINK ABOUT IT!  Picard
/always/ runs away from war ships -- But look at him and /research/ 
ship or ships with little weaponry -- He threatens to go and blow them
across the galaxy if they don't get out of his way -- YOU GO LOOK 
for the episode -- I have a life, and I don't devote it to watching
reruns of TNG.....You have them all memorized anyways.....
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Poem           
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:04:03
Message Number  5142

  The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Also an Iron Maiden song. For a god
of love and mercy, he killed ALOT of people in that rime poem thing dude
 
   An Iron Maiden Headbanging Spellwind dude.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:08:26
Message Number  5143

 So I forgot an 'E', I accost thee!
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:14:26
Message Number  5144

  You read Starlog too, eh? (I get it with my Fangoria, Gorezone(sister 
mags to SL, Fango's past it's 11th ann.) I wouldn't accept less)
  
 I DONT like the Academy idea.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ST             
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:19:03
Message Number  5145

  Yo! I LIKED seeing Sarek again! You think they'll follow through with
the Spock appearance on one show?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Aliens III     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:20:28
Message Number  5146

  I honestly think many want the movie to stay true, but I believe some
AIC (asshole in charge) will make it B&G. I'll be disappointed, but I'll
still watch it. I DOUBT they'll star Sig Weaver.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:25:38
Message Number  5147

  Phasers are Very effective in clearing a planetside of buiuldings, etc
. Example: The world is going to implode, shooting planetparts across
the galaxy. The planet is empty, but a LARGE implosive is in an abando-
ned building. ZTRWW! The implosive is gone and the nearby planets are 
saved.
Heh!
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Whorf          
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:41:36
Message Number  5148

  Worf hasn't had many fights on away missions. If one erupts, it is
usually stopped. The purpose of Starfleet is to promote peace, not
violcence. Worf is a Klingon. If you were to tell a Klingon that he 
couldn't kick your little sister's ass, then you would be sorry for the 
rest of your two minutes of life.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: What?          
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:46:03
Message Number  5149

 Okay, then, what does flapping your skirt over your head have to do 
with "The King And I"?? Forgive me if it has something to do with the 
plot, I don't know it.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Wheaton        
Date & Time: 05/27/90 01:49:49
Message Number  5150

> You've seen wheaton in another role?
 
 Did you see the movie "Stand By Me"? He was in that. He was also in a 
couple low budget horror flicks. I can't remember offhand what else he's
done ...
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:00:25
Message Number  5151

> add the cloaking device as part of their defense...
 
  Well, phasers and photon torpedos are useless unless you de-cloak. All
the time the Enterprise takes to de-cloak would leave them vulnerable. 
Also, they would mainly need it to avoid Romulans. Remember, the 
Romulans invented it. They could detect an inferior version quite easily
...
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: DWEEBS and TNG!
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:03:29
Message Number  5152

  Would you tell me why the message was stupid? Anyways, the Romulans 
are notorious for overreacting. If a Federation starship came anywhere 
near Romulan space, they would probably assume it was an act of war. 
Well, they would also assume that if the ship was uncloaked too...
 
  By the way, I never said that ALL the Birds of Prey had cloaking 
devices... as a matter of fact, lemme look at my message.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: DWEEBS and TNG!
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:07:36
Message Number  5153

  Just as I thought, I said nothing about Birds of Prey... 
  Anyway, if you pay attention to the goings-on, the Federation takes 
this stance on the Romulan situation: don't provoke them. Picard has 
gone out of his way to avoid a battle between themselves and Romulan 
ships. 
 
  I don't know why the Federation can't cloak, maybe they just won't. 
Anyways, look at it this way: What use is the cloak? If they are cloaked
while exploring, then they will be [supposedly] invisible to an enemy. 
The Federation can detect a cloaking device. The Romulans should be able
to. The cloaking device MAY be useful in dealing with the Ferengi, or a 
less-advanced enemy, but give me a practical scenario where the cloaking
device comes in handy.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:13:19
Message Number  5154

 No, I don't have them memorized. Anyway, you got yourself into the mess
by making your claims. I responded and asked where you came up with it. 
What did you expect?
  Anyway, the Romulans did the "research thing" in an episode called 
"Contagion". They were interested in the planet that the Federation was 
studying.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: ST             
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:16:45
Message Number  5155

  They already tried doing the Spock thing. Leonard Nimoy required an 
outrageous fee, and they wouldn't pay it. I could dig up the Starlog I 
read it in.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Aliens III     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:18:07
Message Number  5156

  > I DOUBT they'll star Sig Weaver. 
 
  That sounds logical. Maybe the heroine of the new film will be Newt.
===========

From: TREE BEARD          
To: BEATLE              
Subject: skirts III     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:31:13
Message Number  5157

Perhaps you should teack my Engish class... It is worse than English
101.  I go to Ringling, were english is a foriegn language.  I may not
be able to spell correctly but I can read and write.  I agree that
there is an illiterasy (sp.) problem in the U.S., but I read about
three books a day.  I just never have concentrated on my spelling.
I am more of a concept type of person.  I look at the whole picture,
not each individual word.  I geuss Ill never be a CPA...
Oh well, what will the world do now?
     Perhaps there will be a movie called "Spelling III", Jason takes
over Junior High... pretty scary, put I have my 5 bucks ready!
 
                 Ill work on it (sp) though
                       Arnold SwartzenTree... no one else can spell his
name, so maybe we should hold a spelling bee!
===========

From: TREE BEARD          
To: TREE BEARD          
Subject: revision       
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:41:01
Message Number  5158

>perhaps you should TEACH
>three books a WEEK
>ILLITERACY
>SWARTZINEGER
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/27/90 02:54:50
Message Number  5159

He didn't really want to cook the babies?  Damn!  And I had the
protest letter all typed up and ready to be sent.  Hey, Donthen,
Turtle, lighten up.  Did I say I was deadly serious ... no, YOU did.
I must admit, I'm delighted with all the response to the post (this
is the most mail I've ever received).  You all seem to think I'm
pissed; I'm not.  I said I found the statements offensive, that
doesn't mean I'm mad.  (Gee, and I'm the one being called humorless!)
   Still say it scans properly, just didn't want to retype the whole
message, so I excerpted.  Anyway, there seems to be a major problem
with this wondrous electronic communication, in that the words of
the message cannot carry inflection and body language.
   But from the reaction, I'll continue to post 'conservative
controversy'.  Apparently you wacko liberals need some jolting now
and again.  It's just a shame that conservatives are not allowed
the same freedom as liberals in taking offense to stereotyping
(sardonic grin on face, small sigh, ending with a wink).
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: censorship     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 03:05:16
Message Number  5160

You deleted a message from Sauron to me?!!!!!!  Just how vulgar was
it  (even more vulgar than other things he's posted -- hard to
believe)
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: ST             
Date & Time: 05/27/90 03:12:27
Message Number  5161

I doubt they'll have a Spock appearance in TNG, since in 'Sarek'
he was referred to in the past tense, along with Amanda.  (Of course,
Tasha was dead, and that didn't stop her from reappearing on the
series.)
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: BEATLE              
Subject: What?          
Date & Time: 05/27/90 03:14:46
Message Number  5162

re: skirt-flipping in 'King And I'
   The King of Siam is about to visited by an English delegation
intent to turn Siam into a protectorate (that means they're gonna
grab the country and not let any of the locals hold a higher
position than elephant catcher) because the King is a 'barbarian'.  To
prove that he is civilized the King plans various events, including
presentation of his wives, dressed in proper Western attire.  However,
the ladies have heard the rumors that the English are quite nasty and
eat small children, so they're not too keen on meeting the delegation.
When the wives are presented, one of the Englishman flashes his
monocle (the better to ogle the ladies), and they naturally assume
that it is the evil eye, and flip their skirts to hide from the
evil eye as they rush off-stage to safety.  Of course, earlier it
has been established that in the rush to get things prepared, the
details of providing undergarments had been neglected...
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: ET AL               
Subject: humorless      
Date & Time: 05/27/90 03:25:32
Message Number  5163

   Angel sat at the piano trying to calm herself.  She perhaps should
not have shouted at the old magician, even though he did not show a
bit of gratitude for her wondrous gift.  The day had not gone well.
She was still upset over the nasty questioning of the local law
enforcement officials ...  and to think, they had the nerve to call
her humorless!
   There seemed no immediate conversation occuring that she could
leap into, so she played the piano.  The melancholy song matched her
mood.
     "Once in a time that seems so long ago
      In the midst of a place called the Land of the Dead,
      My withering soul sought a place of repose
      Where my mind could be lost; but I found it instead.
      Where lyrical, spherical denizens rampaged
      With dragons and turtles and wizards without dread.
      Risk was abundant, all bridges were warped
      And insanity reigned in the Land of the Dead.
 
      I knew all of the sub-human creatures that dwelt there --
      The stainless-steel lover, the starry seeress,
      The dark-haired, fiery tongued siren,
      A tall prophet, an empath, a gentle miser, a munchkin or two,
      A foot-chewing beast, a Scholar and a Priest,
      And a unicorn, and me ...
                                and you.
 
      I spent meaningless days there, that meant very much.
      I'd try to move a spider's web and run from the fountain's touch,
      While totalitary individuals battled over the world.
      And though we said Madagascar was the key, 
      We knew the key was our love.
 
      Now I am lost in a Land called Life.
      And I sympathize with souls that perished centuries ago,
      Who knew the glory of Camelot and prayed for its return,
      As I pray for my Once-and-Future Land I left so long, long ago.
===========

From: THRUD               
To: YNGLING             
Subject: Friday, 4 pm   
Date & Time: 05/27/90 08:33:28
Message Number  5167

I used to agree with you.....I tried to drink and tan my way through
SPJC about ten years ago - which is why I've been painting houses 
ever since. What I said was I don't drink on weekdays while I'm in
school - I study Mon - Thur, look out Friday ! I think I'll go
study the menu at the Sarasota Brewing Company...
                       A Thirsty Thrud
===========

From: THRUD               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 08:47:33
Message Number  5168

dittl
    A conservative and anti-censorship Thrud
===========

From: THRUD               
To: BEATLE              
Subject: we have a winne
Date & Time: 05/27/90 08:50:45
Message Number  5169

 Exactly right - Dr Carl Daystrom - inventor of M5 and one of
Spocks heros til he went whacko - you win an all-expenses paid
tour of Starfleet command. Just go to Frisco and 
ask a cop where the "nuclear wessels are.
===========

From: THRUD               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: self amusement 
Date & Time: 05/27/90 08:59:47
Message Number  5170

Jeez, for such a champion of open-minded ness you sure get nasty.
While a point may be made that this conservative is lacking in
common sense, how can you possibly say we lack the ability to 
laugh at ourselves ? when I look back at the likes of tricky Dickie
,Al Haig, Gerry Ford etc, I have to laugh to keep from crying.
  Why do you think we all escape to an Alter Reality ? 
                          A laughing Thrud
===========

From: THRUD               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Bush           
Date & Time: 05/27/90 09:07:35
Message Number  5171

Unfortunately, the job of being pres has gotten to be so big that
merely not screwing up the world can be called a success. Big George
has / and will continue to manage that. Nothing flashy, but as
long as the status quo is maintained, any of us with the talant,
ambition and willingness to work hard can grow up to be anything
we want, exept perhaps a firetruck. 
   Vote for Bob (i think i'll change my opinion 180') martinez ?
jeez, even I'm not THAT loyal a Republican.
                  
===========

From: THRUD               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: neckwear       
Date & Time: 05/27/90 09:14:43
Message Number  5172

Let me see if I got that straight - a guy hung a grasshopper
around his neck, joined the NWA and became Jack Brisco's 
tag team partner? I'm confused. Maybe I should try to get
current on my enlightenment paymets.
   Didja ever notice that some folks are lacking in the sense
of humor department ? 
                     The ever conservative Thrud
                    - not just another brick in the wall
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: BEATLE              
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 10:47:46
Message Number  5173

The original script for Alien III was written by William Gibson, author
of NEUROMANCER, the novel that effectively defined the "Cyberpunk"
subgenre of science fiction.  If they used his script, there's some
promise.  If they didn't, well...  At any rate, I believe the movie is
being directed by Ridley Scott, which means -- if nothing else -- it'll
have a lot of fantastic panorama shots and bright-lights-against-black
fx visuals.
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: ANGEL               
Subject: censorship     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 10:53:29
Message Number  5174

I don't remember the specifics of the message but it was something that
made "sand-niggers" look relatively tame.
   As for you not being "deadly serious", your tone in the messages was
serious enough that Turtle spent most of yesterday mentally wandering
between anger and bafflement.  Telling him he should be deleting
messages is something he /does/ take deadly seriously; if you really
didn't want this /type/ of reaction, posting something in a less morally
outraged stance might have been helpful.  As you pointed out, all we
have to go on are words, not tonal inflection.
===========

From: DONTHEN             
To: THRUD               
Subject: self amusement 
Date & Time: 05/27/90 11:00:04
Message Number  5175

Well, I didn't say /everyone/ (on either side) had the inability to
laugh.  We have Ted Kennedy and Gary Hart.  I suppose we also have
Jesse Jackson, although you can have him if you'd like.  (Maybe he can
be convinced to run with somebody else's party next time, like New
Alliance or whatever.)
 
And I never claimed to be a NICE champion of anything.
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 12:43:52
Message Number  5176

> The original script for Alien III was written by William Gibson....
> ..  If they used his script, there's some promise.
 
 Geez.. /some/ promise?? I've wanted to see a William Gibson novel as a
movie since I first read any of his stuff!
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: StarTrekkies   
Date & Time: 05/27/90 13:14:59
Message Number  5177

  Compare St ST:TNG to D&D:
 
  Humans     Humans
  Elves      Vulcans
 Drow(dark elves) Romulans
  Orcs       Klingons
  no dwarves, though.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Wheaton        
Date & Time: 05/27/90 13:17:36
Message Number  5178

  THAT WAS HIM?!?!?!?!?!??
 Whoa! Awesome revalation dude.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Ferengi        
Date & Time: 05/27/90 13:20:21
Message Number  5179

 Hell,those Ferengi ships warpFast!
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 13:21:11
Message Number  5180

   And don't forget the planet where you can't touch women and they wear
weird headgear and throw Krull things. The klingons were trying to get 
the planet's dilithium. They wouldn't have known about it if they hadn't
researched it. The episode where McCoy gave birth to that woman's kid.
(I didn't mean that the way it came out.)
 
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Aliens III     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 13:24:59
Message Number  5181

 Probably Newt's child or something. I hope the artificialintelligence
Bishop(or a more advenced mode) is in this one.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: ST             
Date & Time: 05/27/90 13:28:45
Message Number  5182

  I didn't hear a metion of spock and I watched it three times.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: THRUD               
Subject: Richard Nixon  
Date & Time: 05/27/90 13:44:01
Message Number  5183

   I hope you don't have a problem with Richard Nixon, he was my favori-
te president. He didn't plan the Watergate scandal, it was his re-elect-
ion com that planned it. He did alot of good things i~while he was in o
ffice, and even today he's interviewed on T.V. and in books on his views
His latest book is In the Arena. A compiling of his memoirs.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: THRUD               
Subject: winne?         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 14:19:39
Message Number  5184

  Oh boy! Neato! Let's hop on the next plane out... Anyway, any idea 
what a cop would REALLY do if you walked up and asked for "Nuclear 
wessels?"
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 14:21:34
Message Number  5185

> I believe the movie is being directed by Ridley Scott...
 
  Really? Hmmm... that sounds quite promising. I liked the first one 
better than "Aliens", so if he's going to do this sequel, it should be 
excellent.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: StarTrekkies   
Date & Time: 05/27/90 14:24:54
Message Number  5186

> Compare St ST:TNG to D&D:
 
 Interesting... there are probably aliens you could compare to dwarves,
though...
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Aliens III     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 14:26:49
Message Number  5187

> I hope...Bishop...is in this one.
 
  There more than likely will be an android of some type. Maybe they 
will feel that idea was exhausted, but it is an interesting thing to 
have...
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Question       
Date & Time: 05/27/90 15:58:58
Message Number  5188

He just told some influencial people something they didn't want to hear.
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Real dips      
Date & Time: 05/27/90 16:00:55
Message Number  5189

Thanx, I'll try.
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: RAVEN               
Subject: Real dips      
Date & Time: 05/27/90 16:03:02
Message Number  5190

Yes, we are.
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: RAVEN               
Subject: Waaaay far out 
Date & Time: 05/27/90 16:04:28
Message Number  5191

For some reason I wish I could    UN-post it.
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: SAURON              
Subject: Gimme that.... 
Date & Time: 05/27/90 16:06:24
Message Number  5192

WHAT???
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: C.C.A.              
Subject: Question       
Date & Time: 05/27/90 19:49:11
Message Number  5193

Ooh! look who's back!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 20:30:30
Message Number  5195

>And I find that attitude [liberal-bashing] offensive as well.
 
So do I. That's why I was parodying it.
 
>And, yes, I am humorless about negative stereotypes of all kinds.
 
Next week...The lighter side of the abortion debate!
            --A humorless, conservative-bashing Turtle
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/27/90 20:34:31
Message Number  5196

>Substitution worked for me.
 
Uh-huh. I'm still not convinced. Try substituting "negro" fro
"drug dealer" and "white" for "police officer" in an article about
cleaning up inner cities, and you'll end up with a remarkably
racist article. You can make anything you want say anything you want
as long as you can make any substitutions you want, if you don't mind
totally destroying the original meaning. What's your point?
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: DWEEBS and TNG!
Date & Time: 05/27/90 20:48:03
Message Number  5197

>A defensive weapon isn't good?
 
A defensive weapon is an oxymoron.
 
>The best offense is a good defense!
 
Maybe so, but the best blueberry pancakes can be found at Bob Evan's!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Poem           
Date & Time: 05/27/90 20:49:50
Message Number  5198

>The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.
 
I knew it was either that or "Kubla Khan." I hate when I get my
classic-poetry-that's-been-turned-into-rock-songs reading mixed up.
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan decree,
Water, water everywhere and not a cave of ice!"
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/27/90 20:59:39
Message Number  5199

>(sardonic grin on face, small sigh, ending with a wink.)
 
You're a really aggravating person, you know that?
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: THRUD               
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:06:11
Message Number  5201

>dittl
 
And gruphedl to you, too!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: THRUD               
Subject: neckwear       
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:09:37
Message Number  5202

>Didja ever notice that some folks are lacking in the sense of humor
>department?
 
The what? Is that next to the audio/video department?
 
Actually, I was in a Wal-Mart once and I ran into Sam Walton--literally.
It was kinda neat...next time I do something like that, perhaps I should
ask him about the sense of humor department. He drives a pickup, you
know. Putting the horse beside the pickup is better than beating
it at water. People who drink water from glasses shouldn't throw
stones, because a rolling stone gathers no moss. That isn't terribly
helpful if you're lost in a forest, of course, because if the moss can't
grow then it can't grow on the north side of the tree. Moss is always
greener on the other side of the fence. Working both sides of the
fence is generally a rosy proposition, since every rose has its
thorns, and the thorn is mightier than the sword. Party on, dude!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: BEATLE              
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:26:34
Message Number  5203

>I liked the first one better than "Aliens"...
 
Heretic! Blasphemer! Republican! The second movie was /much/ better...
more complex, better characterization...thpth!
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: censorship     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:35:33
Message Number  5204

> telling him he should be deleting messages
 
Come again?  I never said he SHOULD do anything.  Perhaps you're
reading my messages with more moral outrage than was there.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: watch it again 
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:37:53
Message Number  5205

Watch 'Sarek' again.  While Picard was wallowing in Sarek's emotions
he said, roughly 'Spock, Amanda did you know, Perrin do you know I
loved you?'
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:42:25
Message Number  5206

> Next week ... The lighter side of the abortion debate!
 
How can you seriously consider delving into light-hearted
areas of serious subjects, especially when there are so many vital
issues that need discussion.  Like the possible extinction of futzpahs.
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:45:04
Message Number  5207

Ooh.  Now you're getting into territories that others are already
arguing.  There are groups who already claim that the war on drugs
has become a racist battle, since it is primarily waged by white
police officers against black and hispanic drug-dealers (and before
I get jumped all over for posting this .... No!  This is not MY
belief.   We're all getting somewhat humorless about posts.  Not long
ago, Turtle, I posted a message to you concerning original intent
on the freedom to bear arms and everyone was jumping down my throat
because I was against gun control.   That also is not MY belief.  Can't
we discuss different schools of thought without everyone believing that
we ADVOCATE those schools of thought?)
===========

From: ANGEL               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/27/90 21:52:07
Message Number  5208

> You're a really aggravating person, you know that?
 
Thank you.  I've made that my purpose in life.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Pancakes       
Date & Time: 05/27/90 22:37:11
Message Number  5209

  Have you tried banana nut pancakes?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Poem           
Date & Time: 05/27/90 22:38:27
Message Number  5210

Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 22:41:15
Message Number  5211

  Totally.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: ANGEL               
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/27/90 22:43:48
Message Number  5212

  How about the authenticity of world maps from Iran?
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: TURTLE              
Subject: PARTY!!!       
Date & Time: 05/27/90 22:46:13
Message Number  5213

  So, when's the next Alter Reality party?
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Denny          
Date & Time: 05/27/90 23:28:05
Message Number  5214

>Oh well...so DID you just get married??
 
Nope, I had just been to Cobalt [footnote 1].  Actually, I had just been
to see TMNT at the midnight movies.  But before I was at TMNT, I was
at Cobalt.
 
Footnote 1: Cobalt is the name of our Prom.  Our 'prom' started out in
the chemistry room as a simple pot luck dinner.  Rumour is that someone
spilled a bottle of cobalt (to bad it wasn't sodium in the punch), hence
the name Cobalt.  Since then, Cobalt has grown into a full blown prom.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: JONBOY              
Subject: abuse          
Date & Time: 05/27/90 23:33:03
Message Number  5215

Seeing how I'm usually not at home when you are most likely at work, and
my tendency to forget things [I know of a certain Fox who forgets things
more than I do], we could just work it out via E-mail.  If you could 
just leave an address and some directions (I always have a street map of
Sarasota handy), I could make it your way sometime.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/27/90 23:39:23
Message Number  5216

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........
 
You die, the girl dies, /everybody/ dies.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: Griffin dormant
Date & Time: 05/27/90 23:40:53
Message Number  5217

>convert...probation...recorder lesson...medieval costume, giving a
>lecture...ice cream
 
Cool!  Why doesn't the catalog for NC mention these things?
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CORWYN OF AMBER     
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/27/90 23:42:44
Message Number  5218

Re: Killing Riker & Wesley
How about transporting a ball into their stomachs.  Once the ball is
inside, big spikes shoot out.
 
O.K.  So I'm in a sick mood, but I really can't stand Riker, Picard,
the good doctor.  Wesley I can live with.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Wheaton        
Date & Time: 05/27/90 23:56:54
Message Number  5219

I'd rather see Wheaton "hot-rodding the Enterprise through the 
galaxy" than Ken Ober.
 
   ...gee Ken, that smells like burning brakes.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Puzzles...     
Date & Time: 05/27/90 23:58:28
Message Number  5220

Beef, real food for real people.  Even on Fridays.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 00:12:22
Message Number  5221

>Don't you know ANYTHING? It's "ooh-ee, ooh-ah-ah, bing bang, walla
>walla bing bang."
 
If I was in anymore of a fouler mood, and I had enough gas, I'd
probably drive up to your house and give you a massive wedgie.
Besides, I'm quoting the Chipmunks version.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 00:24:51
Message Number  5222

I heard they trashed Gibson's script in favor of another.  Or maybe
vice-versa.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: DWEEBS and TNG!
Date & Time: 05/28/90 00:30:51
Message Number  5223

>Maybe so, but the best blueberry pancakes can be found at Bob Evan's!
 
Yea, but Ken makes some pretty mean french toast.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: neckwear       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 00:33:07
Message Number  5224

"Moss grows on the north side of arc welding, so I must be heading 
west...I think."-Gadget
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Poem           
Date & Time: 05/28/90 00:35:56
Message Number  5225

>Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
 
Actually, I've got a cup full of water right here, and it's quite
drinkable.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Water          
Date & Time: 05/28/90 00:48:29
Message Number  5226

  Not if it's tap water.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: Y'ALL               
Subject: Smoking        
Date & Time: 05/28/90 00:50:08
Message Number  5227

    Somebody requested a debate, you got it. Smoker's rights.
  
  A Spellwind dude lighting up now.
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/28/90 01:27:12
Message Number  5228

Look, if the cloaking device isn't useful, then why do the Klingons
and Romulans have it and actively use it all the time?  HHmmm?  Are
they just stupic like the ferenghi????
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: BEATLE              
Subject:               
Date & Time: 05/28/90 01:29:00
Message Number  5229

And the Federation doesn't assume a Romulan ship coming past the
neutral zone is an act of aggression?   They sure send the ships in
rather quickly.....
===========

From: DM2                 
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Invalidation   
Date & Time: 05/28/90 02:14:37
Message Number  5231

LOL!!!!!  I usually use this:  8I  hehe
        ---A normally crosseyed DM (at this hour)  ;)
===========

From: DM2                 
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: StarTrekkies   
Date & Time: 05/28/90 02:52:30
Message Number  5232

>Orcs    Klingons
That's an insult!  Klingons are smarter than that.  
Though I'll have to admit there is a certain resemblance...
Ya know... maybe  Dwarves and Klingons are more alike?
                  ---An Orc-Despising DM
===========

From: THRUD               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/28/90 06:47:11
Message Number  5233

I dreamt that we substituted "modemheads" for "People" and unlimited 
access" for "Freedom" in the Declaration of Independence. Then I went
outside and the air was clean, people loved one another , David 
Eisenhower was president. Then I realized the whole world was 
operating at 300 baud and I woke up in a cold sweat. 
Moral of the story: DO NOT eat cajun style potato chips before
bed.                   
                        A working on Memorial day Thrud
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: CORWYN OF AMBER     
Subject: generous       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:09:47
Message Number  5235

>Now, let's have prayer in the schools.
     
  So long as there are final exams, there will be prayer in the schools.
     
   Jimmy was an extremely devout born-again Christian. Unfortunately, a
strong religious belief is a handicap in Washington.
              <CPU>
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Grok           
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:13:17
Message Number  5236

>He meant to say Greek.
      
    Ha! Who are you putting words in MY mouth? Just because I feel I
can misquote you, does that give YOU the permission to feel that I
need correction? HA! When I said "Green," I meant green. And when I
said "Green," I didn't mean the grass-type green, or even the yellow-
green of some plants, I meant the puke green found on certain cars!
Ha!
                    <Maniacal laughter>
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:31:56
Message Number  5237

>...when I make such patently liberal statements as "wouldn't making
>flag-burning illegal be contrary to the ideals of the Bill of Rights?"
     
    Huh? Libertarianism is usually considered more right-wing than 
left wing...
   m             Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: ANGEL               
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:41:12
Message Number  5238

>Gee. and I'm the one being called humorless.
     
   Milady, I would never call you humorless.
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: THRUD               
Subject: Bush           
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:46:02
Message Number  5239

>The job of being pres has gotten to be so big that merely not
>screwing up the world can be called a success.
        
POSITION AVAILABLE: President of major country. Ability required: having
"red button" on you for four-year stint and NOT pushing it. Salary:
negotiable. Please call the White House at...
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Poem           
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:52:24
Message Number  5240

"To my amazement/ There stood a Raven/ WHose shadow hung above my door.
To break the silence/ He spoke the one word/ That I shall hear forever-
more:/ Nevermore."
          
    What's your point?
                 Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Poem           
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:56:01
Message Number  5241

>Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.
    
Yes, but so long as there's enough tequilla, I'm happy.
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 07:57:31
Message Number  5242

>You die, the girl dies, /everybody/ dies.
    
Sounds reasonable to me!
             <CPU>
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: If you care... 
Date & Time: 05/28/90 08:01:48
Message Number  5243

Oh yeah -- a P.S. Donthen -- stop by sometime today to get four dollars
fpor Mythagoras }{ from me...
        Chip P. Unicorn
===========

From: CHIP P. UNICORN     
To: TRU FANS (TM)       
Subject: Be back...     
Date & Time: 05/28/90 08:03:05
Message Number  5244

   While Angel played the piano, Chip wandered back to the bar. 
"Xon, could you find out how much my tab is? I'll be back later today
with the money." Xonzoff wandered over to the files of the Den, picked
out Chip's bar tab, and scribbled a note with the amount Chip owed.
He then stuckj the note in Chip's leather strap. 
   "Thanks." The unicorn then turned toward the door, saluted Angel
with his horn, and said, "See ya in a coupole of hours..."
He then left foir the Embassy, to begin packing.
       
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Question       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 09:28:55
Message Number  5245

Sorry for the delay. I was having trouble with my computer.
Does anybody know where I can get a 2400 baud modem cheap??(preferably
one that works.)
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/28/90 09:35:21
Message Number  5246

Actually, the Federation DOES have cloaking technology, it just chooses 
not to use it. (See Star Trek #40:"Time Trap")
(Published by Pocket Books)
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: DM2                 
Subject: StarTrekkies   
Date & Time: 05/28/90 09:41:20
Message Number  5247

Klingons are more like ogres.
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: substitutions  
Date & Time: 05/28/90 10:06:33
Message Number  5248

Actually the "Post a controversial message, get lots of flaming hot 
responses, and then say 'I just wanted to see some mail fly'" apparently
is coming in fashion, (Specifically Jonboy and Angel) have made /very/
strong statements on this board recently, and ended up responding with,
"Well, I'm glad I got a reaction out of you guys." If you make a state-
ment that is less than obviously sarcastic, you shouldn't make cop-outs
like these.  
 
To Jonboy - Yes, I /am/ open minded, simply because I now hold strong 
             opinions on the matter doesn't mean I haven't looked at the
             questions with an open mind. You still haven't responded to
             criticisms of you "Orthodox Christianity - the only true 
             religion" I'd be interested to hear some kind of reasonable
             support for that one! 
 
To Angel  - Well, throwing accusations like the ones you did around, and
             then claiming "Who said I was serious" is kinda un-nice in
             my book, Heck, /everybody/ knew Turtle was kidding, he 
             /did/ manage to convey sarcasm in the content of his
             post, but obviously, yours failed to do so.  Maybe paying
             more attention to tone and general content /is/ more 
             effective than getting all of your grammer exactly correct,
             something to think about hmm?
 
Anyway, nothing personal here, just having a few problems with this 
"trend" torward the post-and-run attitude.. if you post your beliefs, 
back 'em up! 
 
 
                         - Corwyn
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: neckwear       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 10:18:59
Message Number  5249

And the Turtle spun on his yellow spot of moss in the green pool of
the liquid of life, flowing down the river of eterni - tee.
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: RUFUS               
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 10:24:16
Message Number  5250

He was the kindest, most honourable, /best/ person I ever knew.
 
Aaaww gimme a break!
 
Stomp stomp ... smash!
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: DM2                 
Subject: StarTrekkies   
Date & Time: 05/28/90 11:20:27
Message Number  5251

   Dwarves are 3-1/2, 4 feet tall! Klingons are taller than us!
Don't be stupid.
 
 A Spellwind dude who KNOWS Klingons are Orcs.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: C.C.A.              
Subject: Question       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 11:28:19
Message Number  5252

  I don't mind the delay! In fact, delay more! Hahhahahahaha.
===========

From: SPELLWIND           
To: C.C.A.              
Subject: StarTrekkies   
Date & Time: 05/28/90 11:29:59
Message Number  5253

   Ogres are too big (8-10 ft)
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Aliens         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 11:41:44
Message Number  5254

 > more complex, better characterization...
 
   Yes, in it's own right "Aliens" accomplished the characterization 
much better. more complex? Yeah, that's true. I liked the suspense in 
the first film. I have never really gotten into the action or horror 
types of films. I know "Alien" isn't a horror film by some standards, 
but I found it scary. Something I don't find in the slapdash films you 
see on late night TV, which just gross me out. "Alien" left you on the
edge of your seat throughout. When I saw "Aliens", I only some suspense 
in the film. It all depends on your tastes. If you wanted more action 
and more everything, then "Aliens" is better. 
  It's not like I hated it, though.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: watch it again 
Date & Time: 05/28/90 11:48:17
Message Number  5255

 > 'Spock, Amanda did you know, Perrin do you know I loved you?'
 
  Thanks for the quote... I've been thinking about what the comment 
about Sarek's son's wedding was meant for, and it MUST be about Spock. 
Some were saying that it wasn't, but it had to be or Sarek would have 
mentioned another person in that quote... then again he didn't mention 
Sybok. Did Sarek know of Sybok?
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: PARTY!!!       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 11:52:47
Message Number  5256

> So, when's the next Alter Reality party?
 
 What I'd really like to know is when Turtle and Rufus decided to have
RufusCon 90... Did you guys decide at the McDonalds Friday??
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 11:55:47
Message Number  5257

> Besides, I'm quoting the Chipmunks version.
 
  So was I. No need to get all riled up. I was just joking.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/28/90 12:00:59
Message Number  5258

> Are they just stupid like the ferenghi????
 
  Well, I never would pick the Romulans as good rational thinkers... 
  Anyway, if the Federation REALLY needs a cloaked ship, they aren't 
going to send a research vessel. I think that since they are allies with
the Klingons, they can get a cloaked Klingon ship out if neccesary.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: KEN OBER            
Subject:               
Date & Time: 05/28/90 12:03:34
Message Number  5259

 They do assume it's an act of aggression. It's just that the Romulans 
will handle an act of aggression by destroying something. The Federation
will try to get the ship to go back. If the Federation destroys a 
Romulan vessel, the Romulan Empire is going to start a very large war. 
If the Romulans destroy a ship, the Federation isn't going to run in and
attack the whole empire. This is NOT because they're "chickens", it 
happens to be beacause they handle things without going to extremes. One
casualty is no reason to start a war. And if you still think they're 
stupid for not doing it, then I think you missed the whole point to the 
movie Friday night.
===========

From: RAVEN               
To: RUFUS               
Subject: /***\***/***|  
Date & Time: 05/28/90 12:36:24
Message Number  5260

How 'bout saturday?
===========

From: RAVEN               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: ect.           
Date & Time: 05/28/90 12:46:44
Message Number  5261

> ...and never examine the facts closely enough to check their proofs.
 
Hmm.  I always find it amusing when so-called biblical scholars
quote pieces of the bible.  usually when one looks up the section they
have misquoted.
that should be 'it appears that they have misquoted it'
 
I find it rather iritating when the 'experts' merely find a line that
supports their point when out of context, and do not bother to see if
it is valid when taken in context.  And then we can add that the bible
is oral tradition anyway, and so it is naturally full of errors.
 
ARGH! good night.       A I lost myself back there Raven
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: ANGEL               
Subject: Liberalism     
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:13:56
Message Number  5262

As long as you and I and other concerned people are willing to struggle
for the continued use of non-Standard English futzpahs, they will never
die.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: Cobalt         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:18:02
Message Number  5263

That's very...odd. How, exactly, does one hold a potluck in a chemistry
lab; and more to the point, why would someone attempt to do something
so stupid? (Unless, of course, it was seen as an opportunity on
somebody's part to steal some magnesium...)
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: RUFUS               
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:20:27
Message Number  5264

>Wesley I can live with.
 
Better you than me!
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Smoking        
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:22:12
Message Number  5265

Smoker's rights? It is intuitively obvious to the most casual of ob-
servers that smokers have the perfect right to do anything they want
as long as
  (1) They don't spew their noxious smoke around more intelligent people
      who /don't/ smoke;
  (2) They don't smoke around expensive computer or audio/visual
      equipment not belonging to them. (I /like/ when they smoke around
      computer equipment that DOES belong to them; I saw a smoker's
      disk drive once that had so much smoke settle on the read-write
      heads that they looked like they'd been sandpapered. Poetic
      justice.)
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: DM2                 
Subject: StarTrekkies   
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:27:29
Message Number  5266

Klingons may be smartert than Orcs, but the Orcs have a more enlightened
and sophisticated culture...they're just misunderstood.
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: CORWYN OF AMBER     
Subject: No more skirts!
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:34:22
Message Number  5267

>Stomp stomp ... smash!
 
Another Smurf bites the dust...
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: BEATLE              
Subject: PARTY!!!       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:36:03
Message Number  5268

Ghod only knows when RufusCon '90 will be...it's gonna be a tad
difficult to find a place to hold it, for one thing. Obviously,
with one more person and six more computers living here, this apartment 
is kinda out of the question...
===========

From: TURTLE              
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ///---         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 15:39:56
Message Number  5269

>One casualty is no reason to start a war.
 
Obviously you aren't up on your John Birch Society literature, Son.
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: TURTLE              
Subject: ///---         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 16:44:20
Message Number  5270

  Well, maybe I'm not up on that literature, and maybe I'm totally wrong
but I was thinking of that in terms of the way it's handled in Star Trek
The Next Generation...
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: ALL                 
Subject: Movies         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 16:52:40
Message Number  5271

  I was extremely curious about how many (if any) of you here are going
to the Star Trek film series at Litchfield Cinemas. All five films will 
be presented on the big screen in stereo. Here's the schedule:
 June 16- "Star Trek: The Motion Picture"
 June 23- "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" (don't want to miss this!)
 June 30- "Star Trek III: The Search For Spock"
 July 7- "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home" (don't want to miss this either
!)
 July 14- "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"
 
  All shows begin at 10:00 AM on the specified dates and tickets are 
$1.50 each. 
  So, who's gonna be there???
===========

From: BEATLE              
To: ALL                 
Subject: Future III     
Date & Time: 05/28/90 17:00:09
Message Number  5272

  I saw "Back to the Future III" Friday night. This film is quite funny,
and if you are a big fan of the last two, then you can't miss this. It's
even enjoyable even if you hated the last two (ask Ken Ober. He hates 
jsut about everything but Howard the Duck)... Very exciting and fast 
paced ending. Very interesting and dramatic story. Very well done, even
considering that the crew just finished an FX rich, action filled film
before begining this one.
===========

From: THRUD               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: qualifications 
Date & Time: 05/28/90 17:11:16
Message Number  5273

Do you think Ron Ray-gun or Jimmy (Rose Garden) Carter had any
better qualifications than that? I'm not so sure I'd trust a 
Balrog like you with it tho.
                       A weary and patriotic THRUD
===========

From: THRUD               
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: Your man Jesse 
Date & Time: 05/28/90 17:17:22
Message Number  5274

Now why would I want Jesse Jackson ? He may be the single biggest
reason for continued Republican dominence in presidential politics
- he also does more to hurt the cause of black people than he does
to help. Its a damn shame that the reverend Jackson and that idiot
(Sharpton?) in New York are considered spokesmen for thier people.
I'd rather see Andrew Young or Ken Gibson or Colin Powell or the
gov in VA - I don't necessasaryily(huh?) agree with their politics,
but they've actually walked the walk - not just run at the mouth
like Jesse.       
                        A Thrud off on a tangent
===========

From: THRUD               
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Richard Nixon  
Date & Time: 05/28/90 17:24:57
Message Number  5275

Boy, you don't ask for much from a favorite president, do ya?
  I'll agree with some of the nice things being said about the
'rehabilitated' Nixon - - he did(does) in fact have quite an
intellect - and was a master of foriegn policy. But he did lack
in ethics at times and his personell management techniques were
substandard. If he had axed every person involved with watergate
and the coverup as soon as he knew about it, he could have gone
down in history as a great pres. Unfortunatly, he thought that
loyalty to his staff was more important than his loyalty to the 
American people. Heavy sigh.
  Why don't you buy some guns in 7-seas on BC? It's to easy to
whip your butt when I have you outgunned 10-1. 
                         A somber Thrud
===========

From: THRUD               
To: BEATLE              
Subject: chekov         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 17:33:09
Message Number  5276

Ya know, that was one of the few flaws in THE BEST of the ST movies.
I thought it was funny as hell when he asked for the wessels, and 
felt like it could have been pursued a little bit. Ah well, at least
he found the Enterprise. I guess the Yamamoto and Potemkin weren't
in port.
  Up against the wall, Russkie !
                        A yankee(rebel?) doodle Thrud
===========

From: THRUD               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: gruphedl to you
Date & Time: 05/28/90 17:37:13
Message Number  5277

What i lack in typing skillls , I    make up in pure intellllect,
contnt of messsgesas, variyl; of dunranst , and omore.
                An indignent Thrd
s
===========

From: THRUD               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: neckwear       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 17:39:57
Message Number  5278

jeez you can turn a frase, or is that turn a corner, I mean corner a
rat, yuou dirty rat, you're the one who killed my brother....never mind
              A Thrud who will now give another caller a chance on
                   this busy holiday.
===========

From: CORWYN OF AMBER     
To: TURTLE              
Subject: No more skirts!
Date & Time: 05/28/90 18:36:07
Message Number  5279

Crunch, stomp.. "A fraggle!" stomp,stomp, crash, EEEEEEEKKKKRCH.. 
whoops, squished fraggle.
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Question       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 20:18:21
Message Number  5282

If you tried, you might even border on HUMOR. 
           An UN-amused C.C.A.
===========

From: C.C.A.              
To: BEATLE              
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/28/90 20:23:38
Message Number  5283

As I told KEN OBER, The Federation has had cloaking technology since the
mid-23rd century. They just Haven't used it.
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: DONTHEN             
Subject: ...            
Date & Time: 05/28/90 20:50:57
Message Number  5284

Now it is!  :)
   -The Lady
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Not God...     
Date & Time: 05/28/90 20:53:16
Message Number  5285

You are sick.
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Hey, dude!     
Date & Time: 05/28/90 20:53:42
Message Number  5286

That program has my heart and soul, and a bleeding ulcer to prove it!
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: RUFUS               
Subject: God...         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 20:55:30
Message Number  5287

And Fuck you, too....I've known me longer...you've no excuse at all!
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: RAVEN               
Subject: God...         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 20:57:22
Message Number  5288

It hasn't.
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: God...         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:01:16
Message Number  5289

I've always been mentally insane...but atleast my fellow classmates...
(addressed at Turtle) don't light themselves on fire!
       -The screwed up Lady
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Invalidation   
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:07:02
Message Number  5290

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ADDRESSED TO: DM2.
Explain, what does your handle mean>
                                   (supposed to be a ?)
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: --             
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:12:19
Message Number  5291

That's all I was asking.  BTW, I'll join you in your bar for a drink....
:>
   Magic
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:24:18
Message Number  5292

:)
===========

From: BLACK MAGIC         
To: SPELLWIND           
Subject: Poem           
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:25:18
Message Number  5293

Once upon a bad dream I had to not just read the Rhyme of the Ancient
Mariner, but ANALYZE it, too.   Talk about nightmares!   I hate being a 
gifted English student.....
===========

From: KEN OBER            
To: C.C.A.              
Subject: ST & ST:TNG    
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:36:54
Message Number  5294

Yes, but ST:TNG ha sno relation whatsoever to the original Star Trek
books....
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CHIP P. UNICORN     
Subject: If you care... 
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:42:54
Message Number  5295

May I ask just what you'll be doing in Washington (and not down in
Mexico)?  I'll drop you a line, but don't expect anything prompt.
Have a safe trip.  When will you be leaving?
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: CORWYN OF AMBER     
Subject: skirts         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:48:54
Message Number  5296

"If there's one thing I know how to do, it's drive when I'm stoned."
 
Now I'm going to have to go dig up my copy to get some more quotes.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: BEATLE              
Subject: PARTY!!!       
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:50:51
Message Number  5297

>Did you guys decide at the McDonalds Friday??
 
No, we discussed the neat communications set-up at McD's.  We haven't
set a date for RufusCon '90.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: BEATLE              
Subject: Arnold         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:52:11
Message Number  5298

"Never get in the way of a motivated guinea pig."-Sparky
 
   ...or a pissed off Rufus.
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: BEATLE              
Subject:               
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:53:47
Message Number  5299

>then I think you missed the whole point to the movie Friday night.
 
O.K.  Just what does BTTF III have to do with Star Trek?
===========

From: RUFUS               
To: TURTLE              
Subject: Cobalt         
Date & Time: 05/28/90 21:56:03
Message Number  5300

It's rather easy to hold a potluck in a chemistry room.  Just have
people bring food into the room.  That's it.  Why have it in there?
I suppose it would be easy to heat stuff, what with all those bunsen
burners [lemme tell ya, it does wonders on fondue!].  And the Chem.
room may have been the only one with a fridge and oven and stove.
===========

