
1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask...
2 ************************* INSTALLED: 5 JAN 85 **********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 ************************************************************
19 
20   at the top... this is really weird... i am starting to beleive what i said a
21 while ago... a free case of utter disbeleif with every visit to the top...
22 
23 ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
24 
25   i finally figured out why gaudy minsky is no where to be seen... she works in
26 a school district that is on vacation... all of them... it only makes sense for
27 her to be missing... sorry for all the fretting...
28 
29   indecision...
30   i decided to let my name be tilean... it is what i started with and i ought
31 to stick by it... sorry for all the fretting...
32 
33   soundless songs...
34   i am sorry... bard... but i did not know how to mentally sing your song... i
35 was therefore not as impressed as i usually am... ii remember a certain song in
36 which a ship is sent out out a thousand light year journey... and a hyper drive
37 is discovered... by the time they make their destination their families and all
38 that they knew is gone... and now they are obsolete as their memories... it was
39 very depressing... in a noble sort of way that is...
40 
41   chela and papa smurf...
42   thank you for your comments on my names... i decided to use tilean for my own
43 messages... however... i would not mind... in fact i would enjoy usage of the
44 other names in messages to me... i like them both too...
45 
46   farley and others...
47   a story climax... that sounds kind of final... i hope not... although i too
48 wait for a reunion between joshua and petrov... i almost expected anger when i
49 noticed petrov and joshua at pc&s... i really should have started attending
50 them earlier... i have missed so much... piper, man in gray, voyeur, petrov...
51 i should not try to list them all but i admire every one for a certain aspect
52 of their personality...
53 
54 ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
55 
56 ererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererererer
57 
58     Annie looked out the train window at the passing landscape, at trees stripped of all their protective leaves, of trees now
59 blown naked by cold and endless winds.
60 
61     "Annie, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, leaning against a cold window like that in your condition." Alexei offered
62 her one of the few comforts a train could offer, a blanket and pillow to soften out the stiff chairs.
63 
64     "I'm sorry dear, I was only looking at the trees.  They seem so lonely, so afraid..." Her voice trailed off.  Which made
65 Alexei's eyebrows furrow.  Annie got depressed, but almost never this depressed.
66 
67     "Well, at least they are firmly planted in one place, and even the strongest winds can not blow them down.  All in all, I
68 think they are more secure than most of us feel." Alexei had meant his words to be cheerfull, they did not come out that way.
69 
70     "Yes, they are secure alright.  So secure that they may expect to never die, they moight live forever, which is more than
71 any of us would endure." Annie and Alexei had once decided that perpetual life was a curse, consisting only of boredom.
72 
73     "Anyway, we shall be at Piercy Station soon.  Williard, my friend, will meet us.  His fiancee is going to be attending to
74 some of the wedding details and will not be able to meet us."
75 
76     "Why do you think someone would think his own fiancee was not the person he wanted to marry?  It seems so cruel." Annie
77 was very obviously depressed.
78 
79     "I do not know, it is possible that Willy only wants to get me there, and is using the guise of a mystery to be sure I do
80 actually get there." No one ever seems able to forget that time on the Red Ball Express.
81 
82     Annie laughed loudly, recalling that little episode.  The pair had been accused of attacking a little old lady and taking
83 her favorite brooch.  They had spent time in respective cells and had a marvellous time with their fellow cell mates.
84 
85     It was then that Annie remembered the face of the lady when they proved she had only faked the theft in order to get the
86 insurance money.  The poor dear was living only on scraps left over from a charitable restaurant near where she lived.  She
87 could not have simply sold the brooch, it was given to her by her late husband.
88 
89   Depressed once more, Annie was left to look at the barren trees and frozen mud of the passing landscape.
90 
91     Sincerly,
92     Divine Overture
93 
94 divovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivovedivove
95 IOIOIOIOIO][
96 
97   Not you,  others are straining thought processes to see us.
98   Of course. Do I know what is happening on the dark part of 7? It is two 
99 from now.  Want to hear from me.
100          Rip out eyes and turn around.
101 
102 IOIOIOIOIO ][
103 Tilean: The song you are thinking of is "Space is Dark" by Bill Roper. It 
104 can be found in The Westerfilk Collection Vol. I. Have you been on BW since
105 I "sang" that song?!
106 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
107 To: whom it may concern
108 Subject: Garbled NET codes
109 It is possible to recover messages in Level 1, 2, & 4 codes. What most 
110 likely happened was that a line was lost. Since all lines were sent at
111 ma 72 the number of missing groups is obvious. Add "garbage" groups in
112 the right place & the portion of the message AFTER the "added" groups
113 will be recoverable. There is a "simpler" method that I will leave to
114 you....
115 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY
116 010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101
117 "You use radar and the enemy begins to jam it. You fire homing rockets
118 at his jammers and he invents a radar-negative paint. You switch to
119 passive infrared sensors and he replies with random thermite charges to
120 overload your sensors with heat pulses. You switch again, this time to
121 laser rangers, which he blocks with efflorescent gases and rockets
122 homing in on your illuminators. You abandon sophistication and use old-
123 fashioned aluminum-foil chaff with propaganda printed on the back in
124 three languages, none of them used by your opponent. He trains carrier
125 pigeons to lay radio-sensitive eggs and you invent a robot chef to
126 scramble them.
127  Now you decide to strike closer to home. You bug his headquarters with
128 microphones. He returns the favor. You dig out his microphones and plant
129 another batch of your own, including a few microminiaturized ones he
130 misses. He plants radio transmitters in your coffee urn that clash with
131 the microwave devices that you've woven into his curtains and furniture.
132 He bounces a laser off your window shades and read the reflections while
133 you are doing the same with sonic pulses. Meanwhile, your people have
134 been finding cockroaches with serial numbers in Russian, Hindi and
135 Hebrew. You replace them with microrobots with TV pickups and acetylene
136 torches, disguised as mice, and he unleashes his robot cat that lives on
137 your roof....
138  And so on."
139 ....From "The Tools of War" by Roland J. Green and Clyde R. Jones 
140          (NON-fiction)
141 010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101
142   bard... yes i have... and enjoyed every one of your songs since then... a few before then too... sincerely... a lurker of
143 incredible proportions... and from what i see... one of the few that did not enter a message saying they knew how to...
144 to the alphabet person ------ you can do whatever you
145 want unless you are hurting other people. you don't have
146 to do what everyone else is nomatter what it is. If you
147 feel it is wrong don't do it. if you feel it is right
148 stop and think if it is going to hurt anyone else.
149 my question is, why don't people like other people who
150 are being themselves?
151 
152 --------------------------------------
153 Does anyone know what in the world the
154 "EXIT" command does?  It seems to act
155 just like enter mode, but none of it
156 gets saved anywhere...
157 -------------------------------Mad Max
158 ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah
159 when the time comes for all of us to examine ourselves and
160 really think about the way we run our lives we will then
161 realize that in our limited span of cognizance we can only
162 truly comprehend the small sphere of life that surrounds us
163 and encompanses us like the womb from which we came. It is
164 at this time, be it early or late in our lives, that makes
165 all the difference in the world. Insecure individuals, if 
166 they can be called individuals, lash out blindly at those
167 around them when they realize just how unimportant a cog
168 they are in a world that revolves regardless. The little
169 things are noticed, such as the changing moods, quick to
170 catagorize, then always apologetic. They try to utilize
171 cleverness in their attempts at superiority. Many aren't
172 fooled by these actions, and continue in ignorant bliss
173 to believe these characters and all that they represent.
174 To selectivly ignore others around them, in an effort to
175 appear aloof and therefore untouchable. the rest of us
176 try to feel compassion for these helpless people, but
177 indeed it is trying. continue on your present course,
178 and find yourself lonely, afraid, and completely
179 detached from the umbilical cord the rest of the
180 world attempts to help you with. pity is an
181 emotion that when applied with the proper
182 dosage, can do wonders.
183 Something to remember.
184 something to forget.
185 
186 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
187 WHAT IN THE HECK WAS ALL THAT ABOUT? PHILOSOFY 101 OR WHAT?
188 #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$#
189 Many messages;
190 Voyeur: Thanks again for the rules.  They're neatly done.  By the way, how do Nuclear Risk games turn out?  Any
191 strategies you could impart on me without losing your advantage with the other players here?
192 Ian: Noted, but either a) more is missing than you think or b) I miscopied and am missing a letter.  Either way I
193 can't read it.   Regarding level 4 code, I repeat, nasty bit of work you've done there.  Combinations within 
194 combinations within combinations....
195 ,,,,,,: I don't know if the alarms are made by Bud Clark- I neglected to check the name plates on them as I ran by,
196 silly me.
197 PorSFiS people: Next Saturday, the 12th, is a meeting, correct?  One (1) Farley will be in attendance...
198 #$##$##$##$##$##$##$#
199 I had parked in a lot about four miles away.  Fred still wasn't fixed, but I was trying.  The manuals on him reminded
200 me of my high school essays- a worse threat to the english language has never been seen before or since.  Still, I
201 struggled through them, and I began to hear noises from Fred's speaker.
202 "Hissss...arley.  Thank you for repairing my speech unit."
203 I said nothing, but kept working.  I needed to keep busy to prevent myself from thinking too hard about that drone.
204 Crackle.  "I am almost completely re-connected now, Farley.  Perhaps you would llike to learn what I did while cut
205 off from my environment."
206 I shrugged.  "Why not...go ahead."  Those guys had sure done a job on Fred.  Nearly a third of his I/O connections
207 had been cut... good thing they were color-coded.  All I had to do was splice about 40 connections.  Only four more to
208 go, then I was finished.  Crackle.  Make that three.
209 "I abandoned the newer code and tackled the other again, Farley.  And I cracked it."
210 "Oh?", I said, not paying much attention.  "What did you find out?"
211 "Well....", Fred said.  He obviously was trying to hold the suspense.  "Yes?", I said.
212 "I learned where Joshua's apartment is."
213 THAT got through to me.  His apartment?  At last, a solid lead!  "Where?", I asked.  Crackle, Crackle went the wires.
214 "Just a few minutes away, Farley.  Ah, that feels good: to be able to sense around me again.  Just one more connection,
215 and you'll be finished."
216 Crackle.  It was done.  I put the manuals and the splicegun back in the trunk.
217 Getting in, I said, "Let's go, Fred.  We've an appointment to keep with Joshua, and we wouldn't want to be late."
218 Fred smoothly drove out into the street.  He was obviously enjoying his returned senses.  I wouldn't doubt it if he
219 were scanning everything from infrasonic to ultraviolet.
220 True to his word, Fred parked in the alley behind an apartment building just a few minutes later.  "This is it, Farley.
221 Joshua's apartment is on the second floor, but I don't know which apartment."
222 Fred had narrowed him down to a single floor of a building, yet his tone betrayed his feeling failure for getting the
223 address EXACTLY.  "Thank you very much Fred, you've done extremely well."  I felt that his ego needed a little booster.
224 I only paused to check if Betsy were fully loaded before I peered in the back entrance.  No one was in sight.
225 Fred spoke through the 'com: "Six stories, two elevators, seven apartments per floor.  A basement, sub-basement, sub-
226 sub-basement...whoa, this building goes down for a little ways, Farley.  Three floors below ground level.  No 
227 underground tunnels detected.  Electrical system controlled at main box on ground level and sub-boxes on all levels."
228 I signaled Fred to be quiet by pushing aa small button on the chronocom.  Something was afoot here, I could *FEEL* it.
229 Something big.... I gathered my courage and determination (what little was left after so many disappointments), and
230 stole towards the nearest elevator....
231 #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$# Farley #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$# 01/05/85 - 11:25pm #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$#
232 +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+--+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-++-+-++-+-++-+-
233 
As I dash out of the bank, with two bagsfull of money, worth about $15,000, I hop into my get-away car, and I head to-
234 
wards the Mexico-United States line. I
235 
knew i could make it, I had this planned
236 
for months.  There was no way they were gonna catch me. I ditched the car, next
237 
to the praire market, and ran towards
238 
town. I knew the city train went throughtown at 10:00 am sharp every day. It wasnow 2 til 10. The adrenelin starts 
239 
flowing . I see the train, I put myself
240 
in 9th gear, and jump onto the train.
241 
whhhhhh... I made it.  As I layed insidethe box car, I could here the police 
242 
sirens everywhere. They sounded like they were getting closer, and closer, but
243 
you knew the state-line was not much further.  I open the bags and felt the 
244 
money, it sure felt different than 
245 
monopoly money that's for sure. I then
246 
peeked out the box-car door, and i couldsee state police cars blocking the 
247 
highway. I started laughing...and laughing... I finally fooled them. Then out of the dark, I feel this hand grab me,who
248 
is it. As I look up i realize there is
249 
a policeman telling me to take my booze,and my drunk body, off the middle of
250 
the sidewalk. was I dreaming???
251 

252 

253 
THE BUMS DREAM...by O.J. Howard
254 
                           1/5/85
255 
                        12:00 midnight
256 

257 
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-++-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+--+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
258 
259     Please remember how short we are on space when writing messages, extra line feeds are only counted as one character
260 but still annoys many people if the think that they are carriagee returns.
261     Line feeds on blank lines are what I mean really, since only by turning on line numbers and paying a lot of time and
262 attention can anyone find out what was done.
263     Space is a precious commodity here, and people take offense when it is apparently wasted obeisely.
264 
265 
266 THE PENULTIMATE NET STORY.
267 Petrov was sitting in Joshua's apartment, waiting.  Suddenly the door to the adjoining suite burst open - Joshua 
268 jumped in.  At the same moment, the door to the hall crashed in - L'homme was there.  Simultaneously Farley climbed 
269 in through the window.  Everyone started shooting at once.
270 After a furious gun battle, everyone was dead.  Except, of course, the sheep.  He subsequently ghosted the
271 story, made millions, started his own commune, and lived happily ever after.
272 THE END.
273 MA 126
274 +*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
275 Sl     Carefully the man surveyed the old abandoned building. A final glance at a scrap of paper in hand confirmed that 
276 this was the place.  He glanced at his watch: 9:58:30. Close enough, he thought to himself with a failed effort to shake
277 off the nervousness he felt, Close enough. Reluctantly, he started off toward the door. As he approached ththick wooden 
278 slab. With surprisingly little effort, the door swung open, revealing a gaping maw of darkness. A fresh wave of ner-
279 vousness, this time bordering on fear, swept over him as he reached into the deep pocket of his trenchcoat and withdrew 
280 a rather large flashlight. The light's bright beam clearly defined a starcase just inside the door. SwlSwallowing his 
281 fear, he cautiosly began to ascend the rickety old steps. "Out of all the places he could have picked," the man thought 
282 , trying to humor himself, "He HAD to pick the ONE place that looked like it came out of a '30s B-movie". At the top of 
283 the stairs was a smooth, shiny metal door, with no discenrnable features. As he drew within three or four feet of the 
284 metal sheet, it slid upwards with such speed and sound, that the man vomited his previously swallowed fear; it was all he
285 could do to keep from darting from the building at top speed. Slowly recovering his wits, the man noticed that he had 
286 badly bitten his lip, which was now bleeding profusely.Having nothing else to cover it with, the man clapped his hand 
287 over his wound to stop the bleeding. After climbing the last couple of stairs, he continued on through the now-visible 
288 corridor. His lip had stopped bleeding, but the flow of blood had left it bright red. At the end of the corridor was
289 another door, identical in appearance to the one through which he had just come. He was ready for this one though, or
290 so he thought.... He expected the door to fly open, as it did, but he had not anticipated  the humanoid that clubbed him
291 from behind......
292 *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
293 *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
294 *-*-*-*Callisto*-*-*-*
295 `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
296         The time is still short ahd the answers still as fleeting. 
297 for The Alphabet-  Worry not that I should be forced into a situation. Say
298     instead that the ways of the Puppet Master are a "tug" on my being
299     rather than a cold-hearted "yank" at my dignity. I say to you- I am here
300     by my own accord, a complusion that this errand should be completed by my
301     hand (on request of another) and not a servitude for a vicious command.
302     (to err is human- forgive me my mistakes, my daily dread)
303 Yea, I have been chosen to compose for you all this "Divine Overture". This,
304     a request, nay- a challenge to meet with the minds that will confront me.
305           `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
306 for those encompassed by the Network-  I believe that it was for you that I 
307     have been brought out into the light. Alas, your time is at hand and that
308     hand is not mine. it has ocurred to me that the Puppet Masters strings
309     were to have crossed with the ones of yours. Now you have, with ease, 
310     withdrawn yourselves from this lot that would have become so easily tangled
311     as was probably His intention. If it would be known that another escapade,
312     another clash of these warriors (minus some), is in the contriving, it may
313     not be a total loss, these efforts drawn to have me within. If I were only
314     to be a minion of the Network, I would willing abide by the hand of 
315     Master Ian MacHinery, the Just.
316 My hands begin again to faulter as my eyes are filled with the clouds that
317     obscure my vision. For now, the wick is alost at an end as am I.
318 At this early hour of six and thirty-one, I bid the rest- Fare thee well...
319 `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'   "Mystery Author"   `'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'`'
320 
321 Aw, c'mon! Say something for chrissake! *YOU* put me here (above)...   `'M A`'
322 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
323   The warm tropical sun beat down on the piper where he lay on the beach.
324 Nearby, in a field of lush grass, the pegasus was contentedly cropping,
325 delicately selecting tender morsels in the lush growth.  Suddenly she raised
326 her head and trotted down to the piper and nudged him firmly when he began
327 to take too much intrest in on of the scantily-clad inhabitants of the area.
328 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
329 M.A. - Somthing! 
330 newnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnew
331 The man look like he hadn't seen civilization for weeks. His unkempt,
332 sandy-coloured hair topped off an
333 unshaven face, unlaundered clothes, and
334 an aroma of death. The other passengers
335 hardly noticed his peculiar visage, 
336 however, being engrossed in their own
337 small afairs. The fat lady in front of
338 him, trying to get her child to be quiet,
339 the gentleman in the Fedora in the next
340 aisle to him, deeply pondering the 
341 headlines of the Boston Herald. But all
342 this wasn't noticed by the man, either.
343 As he uninterestedly stared out the cabin
344 window, his thoughts were three-thousand
345 miles away, on a tiny seaport, where
346 he had left the object of his 3-years
347 labor, his most prized finding. The
348 image of Charlotte hovered amid the
349 thoughts of hatred and regret. Charlotte,
350 the tims they shared, the hope, and,
351 now the dissapointment. He had fled for
352 his life, although he wasn't even sure
353 why, for what was a life without a
354 cause? No, he thought, I will find
355 it again. Then his thoughts turned to
356 revenge. Revenge, that would be a last
357 desperate attempt at clearing his 
358 conscience, as well as restoring his
359 pride. Yes, he thought, revenge is
360 the answer, but how?
361 +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-Carry On+-+-+-+-
362 
363     It would seem that I have been somehow chalenged, and I do not know who chalenged me.
364     Things are getting stranger and stranger around here, and I resist the urge to say THE
365 words curiouser and curiouser.
366 
367 DIVOVEDIVOVEDIVEOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVEDIVOVE
368 
369 TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
370 Elena Elizondo sailed down the park blocks speaking (in her melodic voice 
371 punctuated by a laugh that approached the operatic) of art and it's subli-
372 minal effect on out ENTIRE BEING evan our muscles and bones and certainly 
373 our neurons and how without it we will DIE even though we may still be 
374 walking around, going through the motions, aping life.  Dr. Elizondo tea-
375 ches a course in Primitive Art which the NET had me enroll in because at 
376 end of the course, which we had now reached, we opened the cabinets of the
377 Eskimo and Camaroon sections of the art museum and handled the objects so
378 that as Dr. E. put it, we would be "FLOODED with the texture, the smell,
379 the visceral EXPERIENCE of the primal."
380 Dr. E. had given me a whole new way of viewing the design of spoons, fire-
381 plugs, typewriters, and buses.  They were all the physical manifestation
382 of seething inner urges, present but unrecognized in the modern "function-
383 al" designer. 
384 "That woman is beyond bananas, Minsky," snarled Fleming when I called his
385 attention to the classic lines of a styrofoam cup. "I'm just not the pri-
386 mal type, got it?"
387 "Nonsense, Fleming, you're the most simple-minded primitive person I've
388 ever met."  Fleming and I had developed a cordial animosity since our
389 stakeout of the Hotel Rajneesh area had doubled with the disappearance of
390 L'homme and Fellows. He was strictly by the book. If anything unexpected
391 came up, he had to check with the NET instead of winging it as is some-
392 times necessary.  And he wouldn't take any nasty assignments.  He always
393 disguised himself as a tennis player or a computer salesman.  I took
394 great pains to embarrass him when I was being a bag lady ("Please, just
395 a few dollars for your old mother. We're so proud of you, son.") He thought
396 that my enjoyment of Dr. E's class was somehow subversive and watched me
397 constantly for signs of betrayal at 
the first sign of which he would be
398 duty-bound to shoot me.  It was like working with somebody else's Doberman
399 Pinscher. He would protect the NET against anything, but who would protect
400 me against HI
401 
402 
403 
404 
405 
406 me against HIM? "Just get to the mask and find out why Rivers is so damned
407 interested in it."  
408 Our group approached the Teddy Roosevelt statue. "Even the victims of the
409 poor are affected by the ENERGY in this piece," trilled Dr. E. The Victims
410 of the Poor, seeing our glances in their direction, smiled, waved and made
411 suitably primitive noises. "Hey, lady. Want to have a picnic? Lady, baby.
412 Don't you remember me?" Fleming lookedon in satisfaction disguised as
413 (what else?) a mounted cop. He wanted to see the great Dr. E. humiliated.
414 A grimy tramp with red-white-and-and-blue eyes threw himself forward.
415 "What's the matter Lady, baby, don't you l-o-o-o-ve me no more?" The
416 Victims of Poverty convulsed with laughter. Dr. E. looked at him suddenly
417 with the Total Compassion of a True Artist. "Of course I love you," she
418 said tenderly, "I have always loved you." She swept into the museum
419 leaving the astonished Victims of Poverty and disgusted Fleming staring in
420 her wake. "The mere PRESENCE of sculpture brings out their juices," she
421 murmured. I had written a paper on the double mask which depicted Tsonoga,
422 the Cannibal Woman, who came from a society in which it was an honor to
423 be eaten by your tribesmen,and whose outer face depicted a fierce hunter
424 whose face split open to reveal a warm Buddha-like interior. As i opened 
425 the cabinet I has a brief but satisfying vision of Fleming roasting slow-
426 ly and painfully as the entire staff of NET agents, disguised as Kwakiutl
427 chieftains, spurned his putrid flesh. The inside of the outer mask was 
428 inlaid with abalone. The manuscripts described a missing piece just above
429 the right eye, but it was NOT missing and it had a strange texture. Close
430 inspection revealed it to be a RRBIC(Really Really Big Integrated Circuit).
431 Not too primitive. I furtively snapped it out of place and put it in a
432 pocket of my Nicaraguan Farmworkers Authentic Corn=Planting Skirt.
433 The entire class was going to Dr. Elizondo's apartment for a farewell
434 bash we all dressed appropriately) so there was no way to examine my find.
435 Fleming waited on harseback outside. I didn't want to turn the chip over
436 to him yet, so I signalled that I had found nothing, but he was unconvinced
437 and sneered ominously as he galloped off toward the NET base obviously
438 intending to have me dealt with as a traitor.
439 I was driven to the apartment house by a Jamaican banana picker in a Dodge
440 Dart, a very primal combination. There was a strange assortment of vehicles
441 in the parking lot, a man resembling Billy Idol loitering in the hall, and
442 an ominous tension in the air.  As my companion opened Dr.E's door his 
443 shirt fell open revealing a picture of Rajneesh Dangerfield and the edge
444 of a shoulder holster.
445 "Should be an interesting party," he commented casually.
446 TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT Gaudy Minsky TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
447 
448 tilean--yes, i was gone....so to speak....you will recieve communication
449 w/in two days.....but not by bbs          g.s.
450 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& HOW COME THE ENTER ONLY STATUS? MORE VANDALS & TWITS?
451 A POX ON THEM ALL!! &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
452 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
453 
454       Researchers have been studying the characteristics of readable writing
455 for about 50 years.  They have devised several formulas to evaluate writing;
456 most of these formulas deal with sentence length and word complexity.  One
457 such formula is the Gunning Fog Index.
458 
459       The Gunning Fog Index measures the complexity in writing.  It
460 represents the complexity as an average grade level (elementary, high school,
461 college) at which the text could be easily read.  For instance, a Fog Index
462 of 9 means 9th grade reading level.
463 
464       Most successful popular writing grades below a 13 on a Fog Index scale.
465 As the Fog Index rises, people will find the text more and more difficult to
466 read.  Government and business writing often has a very high  Fog Index.
467 This high Fog Index means that people will have trouble reading and
468 understanding the writing.
469 
470       Complex subjects need not have a high Fog Index.  The Wall Street
471 Journal, a prime example of clear and concise coverage of complex subjects,
472 averages around an 11 on the Fog Index scale.
473 
474       Note that a low Fog Index does not mean a piece of text is a sample of
475 "good" writing, only that it is probably a piece of writing that is easy to
476 read.  However, most of what you consider "good" writing will probably score
477 low on the Fog Index.
478 
479       A Fog Index is only a measure of what people consider easy reading.
480 It doesn't measure whether the writing is good, bad, dull, interesting, clear,
481 or muddy.  However, it will measure whether the writing will tire the reader
482 because of the way the words and sentences are assembled.
483 
484 Piper           12.9            Petrov          6.8
485 PAM             10.5            Abacab          6.8
486 Mohammed Wassir 10.5            Ian             6.4
487 The Innkeeper   10.3            Papa Smurf      6.4
488 L'homme sans     9.4            Knockout Drops  6.2
489 W. Fleece        9.2            Divoved         6.1
490 Mystery Author   9.1            Farley          5.6
491 Machrioness      9.0            Bard's Song     5.6
492 Ledgenist        9.0            Kathy           5.2
493 Luingil          8.9            Chela           5.2
494 Prometheus       8.9            Logan           5.1
495 Fellows          8.9            Guardian        4.8
496 Emris            8.9            Tammy           4.3
497 Null Set         8.6            Dr. Frankenstup 4.0
498 The Mad Actor    8.5            Tarn            4.0
499 UPI Newswire     8.3            OJ Howard Story 3.4
500 Gaudy Minsky     8.2            Juggler         2.9
501 Cistop Mike      7.9            -------------------
502 66 Gaius 66      7.9            Atlantic Monthly    12.0
503 Mentat           7.8            Wall Street Journal 11.0
504 Tilean           7.7            Reader's Digest      9.0
505 Voyeur           7.4            This message         8.6
506 MiG              7.3            Ladies Home Journal  8.0
507 Joshua           7.1            People, TV Guide     6.0
508 
509 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
510       These values were obtained by running the most recent entries by each
511 of the authors listed through a program that duplicates the Gunning Fog
512 index algorithm. The extra index numbers can be used for comparison. They
513 represent averages obtained over several weeks time.
514 
515 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
516 Final clarification : Most recent entry corresponds to most recent entry
517 downloaded for Fog Index calculation. The indexes compiled here do not
518 reflect any messages entered, except for this message, in the last 24 hours.
519 Also, messages less then 10 lines long were not indexed, as the results are
520 more prone to error.
521 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
522 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY
523 FARLEY:TRY INSERTING A DUMMY LETTER (OR LETTERS) AT THE POINT WHERE 
524 THE MSG BECAME UNREADABLE. AT MOST YOU WOULD HAVE TO INSERT (KEY_LENG
525 -1) LETTERS . 
526 ALEX: ANY RESULTS YET?
527 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY
528 
529 ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
530 Well, about the scale above. Here is a list of words that will tire 
531 your listener and make it more difficult to read. Words that make it
532 hard to hear the important parts of your message.
533 Absolutely : Don't use this word when you mean 'yes'.
534 Accidently : You mean 'accidentally'.
535 Advance planning : What other kind of planning is there?
536 Ahold : Not standard english, drop the 'a'.
537 All things being equal : What could this possibly mean?
538 Anywheres : No 's' here; it's 'anywhere'.
539 Aren't I : It
540 Ascared : The words are 'scared' and 'afraid'.
541 As you know : If they know you shouldn't tell them again.
542 At this point in time : How about 'now'?
543 Balance : Don't use this as a substitute for 'rest'.
544 Basket case : Not a nice expression.
545 Blame it on : You can 'blame' a person or 'put the blame on him'.
546 Boughten : really? use 'bought'.
547 Bust : avoid saying this when you mean 'burst'.
548 Can : bad substitute for 'may'.
549 Confrontation : sometimes 'meeting' will do.
550 
551 There is a lot more but even this can get a little boring.  I'm wonderin
552 where they get all that anyway.  Well, since we are now in ENTER ONLY
553 I can't go change some errors that I made.  Great, spell check should
554 have a ball.
555 ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
556 #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$#
557 One big disadvantage to ENTER ONLY is that I can't type periods for a border and CH /.../#$#/ later...
558 Ian: Yes... That would work. However, since I thought the code defective I threw it away, and the garbage was hauled
559 away yesterday.  [Adding hexadecimal digits?  Now, really, Ian...]
560 L'homme/Petrov/Joshua: Waiting for your entry...
561 Ian again: Could you send me just ONE word in level 4 code?  About 6 letters long, if you don't mind.
562 #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$# Farley #$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$##$# 01/06/85 - 08:19pm #$##$##$##$##$##$##$#
563 ~~~~~~~~~~%%%%%%%%%%~~~~~~~~~~%%%%%%%%%%~~~~~~~~~~%%%%%%%%%%
564 TILEAN:  The Ball is in your court now, I have been having problems getting
565 back to the system because of the holiday traffic on the board, I hope that
566 I did not miss it, anyway I believe you were running down the street toward
567 somebody yelling your name.....
568 ~~~~~~~~~~%%%%%%%%%~~~~~~~~~~%%%%%%%%%%%%  The chela
569 
570   oh this is nice... after an extended period of utter confusion and an overwhelming sense of helplessness... hings are 
571 actually falling back into an order... a series... something i can deal with... this nice...
572 
573 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
574     From Prometheus; Intrigued
575     Whomever left the fog index message, I applaud you for doing so.  I enjoyed the message, and am very interested.
576     For instance, how were these values computed?  And how consistant are these values from person to person.  How easy
577 it to change your writing so as to change your rating?
578  
579     Assorted messages follow, even if I do make jokes about that phrase, I still like it, very much so.
580     Man in Gray; It is obvious that our little trip into Idaho to visit the pseudo-nazi's was not convincing enough.  I
581 guess all the money we bilked out of the Observatory funds was spent on nothing.
582     All we acheived is seemingly to create a rocky horror fan, and destroy one or two lives with all that wire tapping.
583     It is times like these I wish I never started the whole Dental Association thing.
584  
585     Sondargaard; Vixen mono corporation is a ways off, I guess.  I only start moving tomorrow, and a lot of work to do
586 when 
587 (Sorry, accidental carriage return there, never beleive anyone when they tell you enter only will hurt them more than it
588 will them.  Anyway, back to complaining about essays and such...) I get home to my dandy little terminal.
589     I never did like 30 character access codes, never mind the second approval bit because of the international line RF.
590 
591 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
592 
593   Lurkers, it was said a while ago that only a whisper was needed to bring you out into the open. I never learned how to
594 whistle, soo this will have to do, why do you lurk?
595   Lurking seems boring on the whole, and I tried for days. Does no one ever say anything that you want to respond to? I
596 will not accept the excuse that other people will say it better than you will.
597   If you try that excuse, then are you going to lurk forever in the shadows, waiting for other people to do your talking
598 for you? Are you going to give up the best chance you will probably ever have to express your opinions? To learn how to
599 exchange words with other people, anyway, this lecture is over.
600 
601 lecternlecternlecternlecternlecternlecternlecternlecternlecternlecternlectern;lecternlecternlecternlecternlecternlectern
602 
603 HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
604 Prometheus:  I suspect that the values for the Gunning Fog Index were obtain-
605   ed by running the text through a program named FOGFIN.COM(possibly .EXE).
606   If you are running an MS-DOS machine, it is possible to obtain a copy of
607   this program(and the documentation, which was what entered above) from the
608   FIDO board of your choice:  #49--233-xxxx or #59--629-xxxx.  There may be
609   versions for other operating systems...  Hope this helps.
610                                                     The Crimson Blues
611 HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
612 *_#)*_@#)*@_#)!*%_)*%+@*%+!)*%@)*%+*+%*@_)%*_@)!%*_@)%*_!)%*_!@)%*_!@)%@_%*)
613 Ian : Bad news. I can't get the new coder program to work. It decoded the
614  old messages with a few errors, but when I encoded and then decoded a new
615  message, it came out part correct and part junk. I have triple checked my
616  typing. No errors that I can see. Any clues?
617 Mikey : Bad news. Those disks you gave me will not spin. That's right. It is as
618  if someone spilled softdrink over the disks, and the sticky remnants are
619  causing problems. Don't ask me how it happened. The disks were put into a disk
620  box at PCS, and stayed there until I tried to use them last night. (???!!!???)
621 ()%#_@%(_)*%_)*!_)%*!_)%!_)%*!)_%*%*!% L'homme sans Parity *_)#@*_)@#*_@)#%*@

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