LIST
FILE ON
MARGIN IS 96 
STATUS: ENTER ONLY
NUMBER OF LINES: 566 
1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ******************** REMOVED: 17 APR 84 ********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 ************************************************************
19 
20 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
21                    made it to the top again................
22 <sigh>.. it's not the same without PAM.                     Aaron
23 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
24 Thank you, Mikey, for the return of the replace and delete. 
25 Much appreciated. - Grand D.
26 ***********************************************************
27 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
28 Aaron:so you have decided to attend a PorSFiS meeting after all,good time to
29 return a set of borrowed books! lest you forget-Joan`Didion-the white albium and
30 slouching twords bethlehem(sp
31 Mad Actor-would it be`possible for you to keep a disk or 2 of the next`few days of
32 BWMS for`me? this`is my last entry for a while.thanks.
33 The Man in Gray
34 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
35   
36 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `'
37    The tower gleamed brightly in the sunlight, refracting many
38 multi-colored patterns along the meadow below. If it were not
39 for the strange appearance of the base of the tower this might
40 be just another ancient style of structure built in a quiet 
41 pastoral setting. If one could peek in the high windows, a feat
42 which was clearly impossible because the base of the tower and
43 its associated entrance seemed to shift in and out of existence.
44 Furthermore the top of the tower was obviously of a much greater
45 diameter than the base. Coupled with the fact that the sides
46 were made of some shiny unbroken surface made scaling the height
47 clearly out of the question. If one could have taken a peek they
48 would have seen an ancient alchemist in the midst of exercising
49 his skills, which sometimes produced some unexpected turns of
50 events that even surprised the practitioner himself:
51   
52 "that's the last time i'm ever going to buy an enhancement
53  module for my multi-phase transmuter from some cut-rate
54  tele-portation delivery house!!!", exclaimed the occupant of
55 room at the top of the tower. With that he struck the shimmering
56 display a sharp whack with some sort of wand. A sound like a
57 large gong sounded and the display cleared.
58   
59 "GREAT GLORIOUS INCANTATIONS", he yelled as he peered into the
60 device. There in three (or four) dimensions was some sort of
61 drinking establishment, and gathered around the tables was one
62 of the most unusual assortments of individuals ever witnessed to
63 be in one place. One of them had a woven rope wound around his
64 head, comprised of colors that couldn't possibly exist together.
65 Another one had something that looked somewhat like an ancient
66 musical bag tucked under one arm, and the rest defied any
67 reasonable attempt at description.
68   
69 The sound was muffled and distorted but he could just make out
70 that they seemed to know each other to some degree and enjoyed
71 a good ale and swapping lies. Also there was some talk of a
72 great adventure of some kind. That sure sounded like his kind
73 of folks, and if there was anything he liked it was going off
74 on an adventure rather than working. (Sure he told the ruling
75 Monarch that he would transform some lead into GOLD but that
76 was a trivial matter that he had already accomplished...
77 besides that was just a cover story to keep the authorities off
78 his back so he could carry on his real experiments.)
79   
80 At first he thought he might just teleport the one with the
81 music bag to the tower and question him, but on second thought
82 he remembered that to these folks such technology might appear
83 like Magic. Ok, he decided there's no getting around some sort
84 of strange entrance, besides if he understood this strange 
85 language correctly, these folks would hardly notice among all
86 the strangeness already in progress.
87   
88 With that he stepped right into the display and emerged into
89 the semi-lit drinking establishment.
90 "My friends", he said, "if i might be so presumptuous to address
91  you thus, would it be asking too much to join you in this
92  trans-reality? I understand Adventure is in the offing!"
93 `' `' `' `' `' -alchemist- `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `'
94   
95 A whine filled the air on Burnside as a TARDIS materialised. Bums
96 ran everywhere and threw their bottles in the trash can with a look of
97 finality.
98 "Ah, here we are, Portland," said the Doctor as he took a whiff
99 of the air.
100 "This is where I leave," replied the Ninja. "Watch the aborigines for
101 me, would you?"
102 "I'd be delighted. I need a rest."
103 "Ok then, my first stop will be the local drinking establishment."
104 
105 
106      DOES ANYONE HAVE THE VERSIOF
107         AMODEM MC TERMINAL PROGFR THE A 
108  IF SO CALL ERIC AT 666-xxxx 
109    THIS IS THE VERSION ICRO COEION MODEM
110 
111 
112              THANKS
113       +++++++++++++++++++++++
114         LETS TRY THIS AGAIN
115 
116    DOES ANYONE HAVE THE VERSION 
117 AMODEM FOR THE MICRO CONNECTION MODEM
118 FOR THE ATARI COMPUTER
119 IF SO CONTACT ERIC AT 666-xxxx
120 
121        THANKYOU VERY MUCH
122 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
123  WE'RE OFF TO A SLOW START. ANYONE FOR SOME MILK AND COOKIES?    --MOTHER       
124 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
125    *********************************
126    *********************************
127    *
128    
129    HELLO ALL YOU COMPUTER HACKERS HOW
130      ARE YOU TODAY.
131 
132        WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF THERE
133         WAS SOME REAL INTERESTING 
134         INFO ON THIS CRAZY BULLITIN
135         BOARD.
136       
137 
138                   MAD MAX.......
139 
140 *************************************
141 8888888888888888888888888888888888888
142 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
143 {
144     for all wondering: "{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}{}" and I are not the related....
145 }
146 ===============================================================================
147 BOY O BOY, THREE HOURS SINCE I LAST CHECKED IN AND NO NEW MESSAGES. TALK ABOUT
148 SLOW. NEVER SEEN NOTHIN' LIKE IT BEFORE. MAX
149 ===============================================================================
150 
151 Has anyone noticed the declining state of bulliten boards of late?
152 I am not refering to this system, for its' users have always been
153 the most creative.
154 
155 What I speak of is the pirate systems.  Namely Whispering Pines,
156 West Side #1, and West Side #2 (Shadow Realm, now).  I fear for
157 the continued operation of all GOOD systems due to the activities
158 of a few individuals.  This is what we have feared for a long time
159 (actually since the 414 group hit the news).  If something is not
160 done, everything so many have worked for and enjoyed for so long
161 may be lost.
162  
163 If you have not checked the above systems, I suggest that you do
164 just to see what is going on.  They trade SPRINT access codes as
165 well as information on anyother computer they can break into.  If
166 you got a big phone bill because of unmade calls, you can probably
167 blame these fools.
168  
169 What are we to do about it fellow tele-computerists?  Suggestions
170 and ideas, anyone?
171  
172 Signed,
173     Big Brother
174 -----------------------------BIG----------------
175 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
176 THEIR MOTHER'S SHOULD HEAR!                                           --MOTHER  
177 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
178 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
179    Noticing the tall bearded stranger appearing out of thin air and the ninja
180 coming in the front, the piper waved them over.  "Alchemist eh?  Welcome and
181 have a glass.  Here's the ninja.  Hi -- did you manage to dispose of the
182 dragon's egg, or whatever the name of the gem you and Johnathan Chance were
183 chasing after?"  The piper poured each a glass.
184    "We have no great plans or quest in mind.  We are just trying to find our
185 way back to Innisfall from this reality.  My pipes have become nearly impossible
186 as the reeds are just getting into shape.  I can't shift us where we want to
187 go.  We are preparing to travel up the big river Kulumbia to a point that 
188 the apprentice feels holds enough magic for him to shift us back."
189 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
190 Pirate-conscious Big Brother:  Do you really want to know...or was that a 
191 question not demanding an answer?  If the former--exposure by name and deed is
192 one answer, I believe.  Anonymity supports acts not undertaken when responsi-
193 lity for consequences is clearly assignable.  In words of one syllable: take
194 names and string the clowns up.  Dave
195 *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*
196 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
197      A cloak covered man lays beneath the Rowan tree outside  the 
198 Inn.   He  stirs,  then opens his eyes,  then quickly closes them 
199 again against the glare of the sun.   He utters a low moan: "Oooh 
200 whaa?  How  did I get here?  I wish someone would turn down  that 
201 light.  Uuuhh....ooooohhhh...."   Struggling the man finally gets 
202 to  his feet.   Then quickly grabs his head.   Slowly he moves to 
203 the edge of the road,  then sits down on an old log laying there.       
204 Thinking  back he tries to remember what  happened.   Slowly  his 
205 memory begins to return,  or at least parts of it.  Some time ago 
206 he  had been sitting at his usual place in the Inn worrying about 
207 his  dear  friend  Emer and why she had been gone  for  so  long.  
208 Worrying that something untoward might have happened to  her,  he 
209 had partaken a bit too much of that heady wine that the Innkeeper 
210 kept.  Oh how he regretted doing that now.  His head felt like it 
211 was  being  struck by a thousand hammers all  at  once.   Sitting 
212 there  with  his  head  in his  hands,  he  then  remembered  the 
213 nightmare.   It  had  started  simply enough as a  normal  dream.  
214 Though  why  he would want to search for the one  called  PAM  he 
215 didn't  know,  perhaps he was in sympathy with the Innkeeper  who 
216 had  spoken earlier to him of the missing PAM and his worry  over 
217 her  disappearance.   Perhaps his befudled mind had latched  onto 
218 the Innkeepers plight since it was like his own.   His mind using 
219 the  search as a substitute for his own failing of not being able 
220 to search for himself.   This thought appears to be too much  for 
221 him as great wracking sobs shake his body.   "Oh Emer...  Emer... 
222 how I could use your soothing voice and gentle touch now..."
223                             X Tarn X                             
224 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
225 
226 ***************************************************************
227 SIGH.. HERE WE GO AGAIN... SORRY ABOUT THAT FOLKS, BUT AT LEAST
228 I CAUGHT IT BEFORE TOO MUCH WAS DESTROYED.
229 ****************** CISTOP MIKEY ********************************
230 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
231   WE PEOPLE AT 'THE SURVIVALIST JUNCTION KNOW WHAT TA DO ABOUT DEM PINKO COMMIES
232 ALL YA HAFTA DO IS GO OVER TO WHISPERIN PINES,AND DEM DER ODERS SHOVA AR15 UP
233 THEIR NOSE.LETS SEE EM ENTER MAH SPRINT NUMBER DEN,HUH!
234   DARLIN DAROLD
235 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
236 ----------------------------------------------
237  IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THE FBI SHOULD BE NOTIFIED. WILEY WILLY.
238 ----------------------------------------------
239 >>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
240  
241         Pasted to a wall amongst several posters stood a small flyer
242  
243                ____________________________________________________
244                |                                                  |
245                |                    Inter Reality                 |
246                |             Properties and Travel Agency         |
247                |           ------------------------------         |
248                |                                                  |
249                |   Specializing in Transendental Real Estate      |
250                |   and Known Space Tours for the discriminating   |
251                |   sentient.        ( Psi-Tours available )       |
252                |   --------------------------------------------   |
253                |                                                  |
254                |   Selected listings  :                           |
255                |                                                  |
256                |   Canyon -  Spacious 43 floor cliff house        |
257                |             stepping discs, full appliances      |
258                |             beautiful south Canyon view.         |
259                |                                                  |
260                |   Kithrup -   Frontier space living at its       |
261                |             finest. Enjoy solitude and peace     |
262                |             in this unique metallic setting.     |
263                |                                                  |
264                |   Procellarum - Gorgeous multi-dimensional       |
265                |             habitat. Complete stabilization      |
266                |             and continuity for the demanding     |
267                |             aquaphile.                           |
268                |                                                  |
269                |      --------------------------------------      |
270                |                                                  |
271                |  Selected Tours  :                               |
272                |                                                  |
273                |   Inner Space Special -  Enjoy 56 shifts and     |
274                |            explore the facinating world of       |
275                |            discontinuity.                        |
276                |                                                  |
277                |   Parthisur Celebration - Be a witness to the    |
278                |            once-in-a-sun alignment of 19 planets |
279                |            and experience the festival of        |
280                |            The Occurance .                       |
281                |                                                  |
282                |     ----------------------------------------     |
283                |                                                  |
284                |  We offer a full range of Reality tours,         |
285                |  Planet tours, System Tours and of course        |
286                |  all the recreational facilities the Ywheksx     |
287                |  Dimension.                                      |
288                |                                                  |
289                |       For further information on any of the      |
290                |  listings seen here or to discuss your next      |
291                |  vacation posibilities please contact            |
292                |                                                  |
293                |            I.R.P. Inc,                           |
294                |            Attn: Brendan Wkeep                   |
295                |            Psi- 1886 Txa :1109                   |
296                |                                                  |
297                | All inquiries will be kept in strict confidence  |
298                |                                                  |
299                ____________________________________________________
300      
301         from around the corner you could hear the sonorous tones of the pipes
302 .......
303  
304 >>--------------------------------------------------------------------------<<
305 TO ALL USERS
306 HELLO I AM DICK LARSEN, THE OWNER AND GENERAL MAACE.(206)696-xxxx
307 THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THIS BBS AND SO BEAR WITH ME. ADVANCED COMPUTER 
308 EXCHANGE IS A BROKERAGE SERVICE FOR PRE-OWNED COMPUTERS AND PERIPHERALS. I AM
309 ON-LINE 6PM-9AM,MON.-SAT. AND ALL DAY SUNDAY. MY ADDRESS IS: ADVANCED COMPUTER
310 EXCHANGE, VANCOUVER, WA 98668. PLEASE CALL OR WRITE. THANK YOU.
311 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
312 THE ABOVE WAS QUITE INTERESTING.....BUT ON A LOVELY DAY LIKE TODAY, I
313 WOULD RATHER BE SKY-DIVING! SO CHEERIO...............
314 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
315 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
316 
NOTICE !!! NEW EXPERIMENTAL BULLETIN BOARD !!!! ALL BWMS FANS INVITED TO   
317 CALL AFTER 6PM IN THE EVENING TO 227xxxx AND TRY IT OUT. WANT BWMS USERS
318 ESPECIALLY TO TRY IT OUT (LIKE WHEN YOU CAN'T GET ON HERE). COURTESY
319 ADAM TRENT AND CHUCK HUGHES (AKA HROTHGAR) (AND STEVE NEIGHORN SINCE HE WAS 
320 HERE AT THE TIME ).
321 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
322 MOTHER,
323    YOU AREN'T MOTHER, I'M MOTHER!
324              --MOTHER
325 
326 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
327  MOTHER IS OFF THE AIR AS STATUS IN ENTER ONLY.             --MOTHER(OTHER)
328 MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
329   MOTHER KNOWS BEST.
330            -- MOTHER
331 HAHAHAAAA! FOOLED THEM AGAIN!
332 ----------------------------------------------------------------
333 ----------------------------------------------------------------
334   DALEN,A FINE SWORD OF STEEL AND DARETITE WAS THE FIRST TO BE
335 CAST FROM THE DWARVEN MITHAT OR SO I AM TOLD PERISHED JUST
336 A MONTH AGO AT THE HANDS OF A MASTER OF THER RED FAITHS.IN ANY
337 CASE DALEN IS A MASTERS FINEST, SHE IS SCORCHED ALONG HER SIDES
338 BUT HONED,AND SHARP ON HER EDGE SHAEFTER OF THE WHITE FAITH HAS
339 NOTED IN THE QUAITHMAIT VOLUMES THAT THE MARKS  WILL NOT BE REM-
340 OVED AND CANNOT TILL SUCH THAT  HER MASTER BE DEAD.NOTATIONS OF
341 THIS CAN BE SEARCHED FOR AND
342 FOUND FROM THE WINTERS OF 567
343 YEARS AGO. OR IF YOU SEARCH IN  THE NORTHWOODS AMONGST THE BLACK
344 FAITHS 800 SHANT.
345   HER MAKER WAS A WHITE FAITH   DWARF OF THE NAME NLASTIN.IN
346 SOME REALMS IT IS SAID HE WAS NOT A TRUE WHITE FAITH BUT A SPY
347 FOR THE RED FAITH AND THAT HIS  MASTERWORK WAS TAKEN BY A ROUGUE
348 AFTER HIS EXECUTION.THIS IS DENIED BY THE SURVIVORS OF TH
349 MINES BUT NO MATTER.
350 SHE WAS LAST SEEN IN THE GRIP OF ALLWAST LEADER OF THE D'CHAFT
351 TRIBES IN USE AGAINST THE CULTS OF CHAEG.WHILE ALLWAST FELL THAT
352 DAY EVERYONE KNOWS THE CHAEG    WERE DEFEATED IN THE NORTHWOODS
353 AND NO EVIDENCE OF THE CHAEG    USING HER HES MANAGED TO REACH
354 ME AND THUS THE LEGION OF EIGHT.
355   THIS LEADS ONE TO BELEIVE THAT SHE IS IN THE BOGS INNORTH
356 WOODS SUNKEN. OR THAT SHE LIES IN THE UNCLAIMED      CULTIST OF CHAEG.
357   SEVERAL HAVE SEAR     NORTHWOODS ONLY TO HAVE THEIR
358 BODIES POSTED IN DEFIANCE OF    THOSE WHO WOULDST ENTER THE BLA-
359 CK FAITHS REALM.
360   AH IT IS NIGHT AND I MLEAVE BUT I SHALL COME AGAIN AND
361 TELL YOU OF EYERFONN A DAGGER   TOLD TO BE OF GREAT POWER TO SHE
362 THAT WIELDS HER AND OF DEATH TO HE THAT WEILDS HER.FUNNY STORY
363 ACTUALLY GOOD DAY.
364  
365 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
366 What, pray tell, is all that rambling in the preceeding message?
367 Every once in a while I get the impression that there's a story there,
368 but then it fades away again.  But then, that's the nice thing about
369 Backwater-anyone is welcome (least common denominater, ibid)
370 :::::::::::::::::::
371 TO: I.R.P Inc.
372 Attn: Brenden Wkeep
373 as a matter of style, not content--your 'poster' would have
374 been much more effective if left-justified; my 64 column screen abused
375 the symmetry something terrible.
376 :::::::::::::::::::
377 I am not acquainted with the "Dave" signed earlier on this disk.
378 :::::::::::::::::::::O O::::::voyeur::::::::O O::::::::::::::::::::::::
379 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
380   CISTOP, gee, isn't that elven-sword bit above familiar (sorry, "familur")
381 looking? (stylisticly, that is?) (maybe not so much content-wise...)...
382 I wonder.                                            Aaron
383 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
384   
385 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `'
386      Ah, kind sir you certainly know how to welcome a thirsty traveler in
387 this time-space vector. Without a doubt you must be the one referred to
388 as the piper. On my way here I finally remembered that the unusual sounding
389 musical instrument, to which you appear to be attached, is called a 'pipe
390 of the bag' or something like that. Well I can tell you it was indeed
391 fortunate you happened to be playing it so well a short while ago. My new
392 dimension enhancement module had set the whole transmuter into sympathetic
393 vibration. Had it not been for the sound of the pipes resyncronizing it
394 I might now be scattered over several trans-reality spaces. Oh!, please
395 excuse me for carrying on so and let me introduce myself. I usually go
396 by the name of -alchemist- in deference to my primary craft and skills.
397 Of course you understand in my business one usually does not reveal their
398 real name, however I'm sometimes a bit loose with the rules. 
399   
400      You might well inquire as to how an ancient alchemist happens to be
401 in possession of such fancy futuristic hardware. This question like all
402 those of its type has many answers...one such I saw on the wall of one
403 of the specialized function rooms that seem to be attached to most
404 drinking establishments. Let me see if I can remember exactly how it
405 was phrased:
406        ------------------------------------------
407       |  Time is the illusion we create to keep  |
408       |    everything from happening at once.    |
409        ------------------------------------------  
410 or something like that. In any case I did have the ability to cross space-
411 time vectors until this recent malfunction. I haven't had time to survey
412 the damage yet but I may be here for awhile. How fortunate that I should
413 encounter such a friendly welcome. I did notice however that some of the
414 natives seem to be a bit restless. In any case I'm still thirsty from the
415 dusty cosmic road, allow me to buy a round for one and all. Being in the
416 GOLD business has it's advantages, since it seems to be a medium of
417 exchange for nearly all time. It is accepted as 'Coin of the Relm' here,
418 it it not?
419   
420 Indeed I will be ready for some adventure soon. Perhaps I saw the place
421 called Innisfall on my way here, but I fear the navigation module may be
422 out-of-whack. One landmark I did notice was someone lying under a tree;
423 a Rowan tree to be exact. Whoever it was seemed to be somewhat agitated;
424 creating a number of waves on several psychic channels. Maybe we could
425 home in on them. Perhaps that travel agency that has the poster over
426 there on the wall could be contacted and an inquiry made concerning 
427 some sort of package deal for the lot of us.
428   
429 In any event there is time a plenty... with a sigh the alchemist 
430 brushed a fleck of foam from his beard and sat down, happy to have
431 found some friends here and anxious to get acquainted better and
432 share a few grins.
433 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' -alchemist- `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' 
434   
435 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
436    The piper sat relaxed and waiting.  The day had been interesting and product-
437 ive.  The evening had brought several new compaions.  The new reeds were 
438 breaking in well, and soon the pipes would be controllable again.  What we 
439 need more than anything else, he mused, Is someone to take charge and direct
440 this expedition.  We, as a group, tend to be dedicated anarchists, or at the
441 least barbarians.  No sense of orginazation, coherence, or unity.  Oh well,
442 better warn our new friend.
443   "Say, alchemist--"  he searched for the right words.  "Use your smallest
444 gold coins.  These people do not use gold for coinage, and place an inordanate
445 value on it.  You might leave one small coin for the barkeep and he will 
446 keep you in this stuff all night."  The piper spurned the glass and drained a
447 full pitcher of beer.
448 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
449  
450 
451 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
452  
453      I have been working for ages it seems, and the projects ahead only
454 seem to grow in direct proportion to the speed with which I finish them.
455 The work is invigorating, its challenge bringing a response from me that is
456 both welcome and at the same time irritating.  I have traveled much of
457 late, worked many long hours, and received schooling in subjects that
458 previously only grazed the periphery of my consciousness.  But the
459 challenges, the travel, the new and fascinating knowlege only serve to
460 prevent me from traveling a road to a land I once spent so much time in.
461 Though the sky is clear and the weather warm, my mood is melancholy.
462  
463      I must have more control over the little time is my own!  Here I find
464 myself in an office above the streets of the city, and my thoughts are
465 focused not on my work, but on my home nestled in the wood, and the Inn I
466 had once frequented with so much regularity.  So many dear friends!  Such
467 good times!  Why am I here in this flourescently lit cage when I could be
468 running through the forest, sitting in my favorite sun-lit glen, or perhaps
469 pulling the beard of some young swain?
470  
471      My thoughts seem to have taken on a will of their own, for I now
472 imagine that I can hear the pipes that frequently resound through the halls
473 of the good Backwater.  No, it is not the result of an overworked
474 imagination, I do indeed hear pipes echoing through the concrete and
475 granite canyon without!  My papers and notes fly from the desk as I rush to
476 the never-to-be-opened window and peer downward.  Is it....  Yes!  There!
477 By the corner he stands, and the music is joyous to me in its reminders of
478 elder days!
479  
480      I hastely straighten the disaster that once was my desk, grab my coat,
481 lock the door, and am down the hall in a flash.  C'mon elevator..... C'mon,
482 dammit!  The bell finally rings on the row of elevators behind me, and I
483 turn to see that the mechanism is going up and not down.  Though it is
484 still lit, I press the down button in my frustration, and curse my luck.
485 The elevators doors shut, the red light goes out, the white one above it
486 comes on, and the doors re-open.  Stepping inside, I wonder why these
487 infernal devices can't be just a bit smarter.
488  
489      The street at last!  But the piper has gone, and only a few coins on
490 the ground mark his passage.  My luck continues to run true to form, it
491 seems.  Ah, well, I can be assured of finding him at the Inn at one time or
492 another, and though my visits can only be fewer in number than before, I
493 think that I will again be found there as well.  Turning a corner that
494 isn't there, I am once again in the wood near the water.  It is good to be
495 back.
496  
497 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]PAM.[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
498  
499 
500 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `'
501      The practitioner of the fine art of transformation mused to himself 
502 as he sipped his latest ale and made a more thorough survey of the diverse
503 group assembled here. Things were beginning to make more sense, or less,
504 as the case may be. Maybe he could even distinguish when he was thinking
505 and when he was talking aloud. Perhaps the fact that there was a phase
506 shift on one channel of a few pico parsecs was of small consequence. Sure
507 the remote control for the multi-phase transmuter was beginning to get a
508 bit warm but he probably wouldn't need it for awhile and could do a poly-
509 dimensional fold and put it away in his 'bag-of-tricks'. He knew that the
510 piper wasn't accustomed to this urban setting and he certainly was more
511 inclined toward a place where the natural course of events was more in
512 evidence. A river cruise sounded like a splendid idea, he could sharpen
513 up his nautical skills in the process... "EIGHT BELLS AND ALL IS WELL",
514 now that certainly had a pleasant ring to it.
515   
516      "A cruise up a big river named Kulumbia, you say! It sounds as if it
517 were named my some ancient sea privateer. Well, no matter. I'm not sure
518 if you folks have any sort of floating conveyance in mind, if not might
519 I propose a suggestion? On the way here I noticed that moored to the
520 banks of both rivers (I think the other one is named 'Will-A-Mutt') were
521 some strange and diverse floating structures. They appeared to be houses
522 built on log floats. Perhaps if we could obtain one of these we could
523 alter it to fit our purposes. With someone on the stern with a 'yuloh'
524 to steer the giant beast and of course a full load of ale and other
525 refreshments we could make the trip in style. (Maybe even rig a sail or
526 two if the wind is right.) If we were to choose one with enough style
527 and character maybe PAM could be persuaded to go with us." 
528   
529      He had picked up the name PAM from the conversation and had surmised
530 that she was a person whose company was greatly missed by several of
531 the patrons. If the rumors were correct it would be a great pleasure to
532 have her company on this adventure up the river. (Better than being up
533 the creek, so to speak.) Only time will tell...
534 "I do have some small skills with water craft and would be happy to lend
535 a hand in whatever way possible. If memory serves me correctly this great
536 river Kulumbia flows to the sea and on occasion the turn of the tide
537 causes the water to flow up stream. By timing or movements to correspond
538 to that there would be very little effort involved in propelling the craft
539 up river to the destination that the apprentice has in mind. When the wind
540 and the current are against us we could anchor the craft or tie it along
541 the bank for a spell. Does such a conveyance have appeal? If there is
542 a local brewery around maybe a detour by there to stock up on drinking
543 stock with some substance to it would be called for."
544   
545       With that the bearded traveler of eons stretched out his long
546 frame and called for another draft. He thought to himself, I believe it's
547 time to stop rambling on so and get down to some quiet thirst quenching.
548 `' `' `' `' `' `' -alchemist- `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `'
549 P.S. "piper, thanks for the warning I shall be more careful in the 
550  future. It's just that I never did put much value in such things as GOLD.
551  I see PAM is among us but perhaps it would not be appropriate for me
552  as a stranger to address her so soon. Piper I shall look for your
553  guidance in this matter.
554 `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `' `'
555 DEAREST PAM, WELCOME BACK. - - COLONEL BATGUANO
556 ============================================================================
557 P.S. FORGIVE ME ALL FOR SPEAKING EN CLARE BUT IT SO HAPPENS ONE OF US IN
558 THIS BATTY CLUB HAS SOME SORT OF BOAT (OH ALEX!!) MAYBE THERE ARE OTHERS
559 AS WELL? P.P.S. ALEX HI TO YOUR WIFE.
560 ===========================================================================
561 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?WELL........I SEE 
562 THAT DISC IS FULL SO PERHAPS I'LL TAKE A LITTLE ROOM HERE. I AM QUITE
563 BUSY AT THIS POINT IN HISTORY. COULD I GET ONE OF YOU TO LET MR BBE KNOW
564 IF THERE IS A TOPIC OUT THERE BEING DISCUDSSED?....OR IS IT ALL STORY
565 AGAIN? LEAVE MESSAGE FOR ME, PLEZE, IN ALL CAPS. THANX
566 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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