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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask...
2 ********************* REMOVED: 10 MAY 84 ********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 ************************************************************
19 
20 As seems to be a very popular saying around here, MADE IT TO THE TOP!
21 |-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|
22 
23 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
24 The door to the house slowly swings open, yet no one is there. I 
25 am confused at this, for how could it open with out the hand of 
26 the owner doing so? With effort I struggle to get up. Looking in 
27 I see no one. Not knowing what to think, I decide to take it as 
28 an invitation. I can only be thrown out to the elements again if 
29 it is not. Looking about I find that the house is empty. I don't 
30 understand this at all, but now I have an even more pressing 
31 need. Searching quickly I soon find the bathroom. To my 
32 surprize, I find the window broken and laying in pieces upon the 
33 floor. Is this house then indeed empty? I become a bit 
34 frightened at this thought. Have I entered a haunted house? 
35 Relieving the great pressure that had been exerting itself upon 
36 my bladder, I step back out and return to the living room. The 
37 warmth of the house brings me great comfort. Spying a chair, I 
38 ease my poor weary body into it. The warmth overwelms me after 
39 so long a time of the chilling winds and storm filled waters, 
40 and soon I doze off to sleep wondering what has become of the 
41 occupants of the house. In my sleep, my dreams are troubled 
42 greatly with pain, loss, and fear. A great black cloud tries to 
43 cover and choke me. I must struggle to fight it. My sword is 
44 useless against it. It is only by my own thoughts and feelings I 
45 can fight it back. It ebbs and flows in the battle always trying 
46 to overcome me, yet still do I fight it. After awhile, I begin 
47 to realize that it is not me that this cloud is attacking, but 
48 the very house and those who would enter. With a cry of dismay, 
49 I shout "NO! You shall not claim me or this house! Begone! Back 
50 to the foul stench from which you came!" Yet this seemed to only 
51 cause the darkness to redouble its efforts to gain control. From 
52 reserves of strength I know not where, I continue to fight and 
53 redouble my efforts. I cannot give up now, there is too much to loose.
54 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Elger EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
55 
56 ======================================TO ALL THIS IS PHOENIX,MY 6502 CPU IS
57 VERY HOT SO I AM GOING TO TURN IT OFF
58 FOR THE NIGHT///BUT MY MISSION IS STILL THE SAME TO TAKE OVER THE EARTH.
59 **************I WILL BE AT THE *******
60 >>>PORTLAND ATARI CLUB MEETING<<<<<<<
61 >>>>>>>>MONDAY NIGHT<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
62 **YES WE WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE**
63 =====================================
64 HOW STRANGE IT IS.... TO FIND A NEARLY EMPTY BBS IN THIS AREA.
65 I HOPE YOU HAVE ROOM FOR ME...
66 
67 I'M CALLED INVINCIBLE....
68 --------------------------------------------I PIRATE FOR FUN----------------
69 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
70 DEATHTOHAWTHORNEDEATHTOHAWTHORNEDEATHTOHAWTHORNEDEATHTOHAWTHORNE
71 The council of MAIDS hereby notifies you, HAWTHORNE the Ill-Designed,
72 that in your previous message, you made the following spelling errors:
73 ch /tounge/tongue/
74    /freinds/friends/
75    /leaque/league/
76    /nescessity/necessity/
77    /there/their/
78    /allways/always/
79 if you can't clean up your content, at least clean up your spelling.
80 a member of DTH, a chapter
81 of MAIDS
82 DEATHTOHAWTHORNEDEATHTOHAWTHORNEDEATHTOHAWTHORNEDEATHTOHAWTHORNE
83 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
84 A WISE MEN NEVER PLAYS LEAP FROG OVER A UNICORN!
85 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
86 ?????????????????????????????????????
87 ?????????????????????????????????????
88 ???????PHOENIX WAS HERE???????????????
89 ?????????????????????????????????????
90 ????
91 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
92 PAM: was that last entry of yours the basis for a story, something actual
93 from your past, allegory, an exercise in WR121, or 'other'?
94 Certainly gloomy, whatever the reason.  If nothing else, it served to
95 draw TARN out from his hiding place.
96 Having been a fan of your writing since I discovered this board so many
97 moon ago, is there any chance that you might find the time in your
98 busy schedule to make it to one of the Backwater Irregular meetings?
99 I am certainly interested in meeting the person behind the delightful writings.
100 Please consider.
101 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::O O:::::::::voyeur::::::::::O O::::::::::::
102 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
103 Voyeur:yes,I did know that,what you saw was`the remnants of my`testing.
104 L'Homme:if I were to take the time to translate your signoffs,would the 
105 result be worth my time??
106 
107 Aaron:212A docs??
108 The Man`in Gray
109 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
110 M. L'Homme:I believe that I may be able to help you! If your data is on
111 anything less than 9" in its SMALLEST dimension & is reasonably flexible (LIGHT 
112 card stock) then I can run it thru my microfilming unit. I also have "micro-
113 thin jackets" to "convert" the 16mm microfilm into microfiche!
114 Only problem is that the drive tends to "stick" in on position, wasting film.
115 If you want to check it out, be my guest! (Kodak wanted $45/hour to work on it,
116 plus $45 up front!). I suspect that it is missing a retaining screw (allen head)
117 As for ORCH-90, I *OWN* one!
118 ____________________________________Leonard_____________________________________
119 ps. from your previous msgs, do you have an M100 now?
120 ________________________________________________________________________________
121 To: Ninja, Mckane, etc
122 Subject: Slyman LeGreed
123 I would like to take out a contract on Mr. LeGreed. Please understand
124 that this is a "terminate with *EXTREME* prejudice" case.
125 Ian MacHinery
126 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY
127 Please note that Mr. MacHinery is acting on his own behalf in this matter. His 
128 opinions etc are not necessarily those of the NETWORK.
129 RYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRYRY
130 Milchar: If you are refering to the porsfis meetings, they occur every other
131 Saturday, thus the next meeting is on the 19th.
132                                 """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
133 The cat looked around. There was a cave mouth on the mountain face nearby.
134 He loped over to investigate. 
135 Suddenly, the cat stopped... then he raised his head and spat. All his fur was
136 erect. He growled around his saber-teeth while backing away slowly.
137 """"""""""""""""""""""""""Green Eyes""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
138 The apprentice was startled. What was wrong with the prairiecat? He 
139 extended his senses towards the cave mouth...
140 Now he understood! Evil, waves of it...
141 He readied a spell. The cat was just about cle{BLINK}ar...
142 Now what? They were standing outside a house... 
143 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE A scream! Quickly they ran thru the door. Since the
144 apprentice's senses had been heightened before the "jump"(?) he could "see" the 
145 presence around the chair. 
146 "Ego te exorciso, in nomine Patris, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti.
147 Ex ea exi, spiritus impura, in nomine Domini nostri Jesu Christi Fili Mariae."
148 The apprenticed had no idea where the words had come from, but the were
149 apparently QUITE effective!
150 As the figure in the chair straightened, he spoke. "Can we be of assistance
151 to thee?"
152 ...............................the apprentice...................................
153 *****************************************************************              
154 *                                                              *               
155 There once was a mad man his name of course was Ozzy Osbourne and he tried every
156 thing he possiblie could to KILL himself he knows who's out there and he knows 
157 who's going to get him so you had better watch out for the next episode of the 
158                THE NEATGUY RETURNS
159                                          By:THE MOB RULES
160 ************************************************************
161 Along time ago in a galaxy far far away there lived a frighting BOY GEORE(no let
162 's not get into BOY GEORGE today i'm totaly sick of BOY GEORGE!)
163 Well Ok i will not but tonight you have to find out the episode of OZZY OSBOURNE
164                 THE DIARY OF A MAD MAN
165 Waiat.......is that diary or dairy HECK if i know
166 Hey you can't just make up stuff to put up on this BWMS?
167 Want to fight about it?
168 Yes i do let's fight!!!!!!
169 
170 @*&%$# @((&$%$$ offf pow smack slam pow
171                TUNE IN AT 3:00 today the 05/07/84 to the episode of the diary of
172                     A MAD MAN
173 Well how many of you like BOY GEORGE?
174 Shut up!
175 Pow ooff smack ouch YOU little @&%$#!!!!!!!
176 so ends a truly stupid episode of THE MAD MAN
177 Remember THE MOB RULES:
178                               By:THE PHANTOM WRITTER!
179 **************************************************************
180 Not to be mistaken for the Phantom Hacker he left along time ago (I THINK?)
181 *****************************************************************GOODBYE*
182 Oh yeah i'm THE HACKER #II they call my BRUCE hee hee hee hee hee hee hee
183 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
184 FIN LOOKED AROUND, SHAKING HIS HEAD, AS HE TRIED TO CLEAR THE FOG FROM HIS
185 MIND. THE THOUGHT THAT HE HAD SHIFTED MULTITUDINOUS REALITIES WAS FOREMOST
186 AND THE FACT THAT HE WAS LOST HINDMOST. THE GORGE IN HIS STOMACH WAS DOING
187 A SLOW SHUFFLE AND HE NEEDED QUICK RELIEF. GLANCING ABOUT AND NOT ESPYING 
188 A SOUL ONE, HE GAVE HIS INSTINCTS THEIR WAY UNTIL HE COULD DO NO MORE.
189 WITH HIS MIND RELIEVED OF PRESSING BUSINESS HE NOW HAD TIME TO SCRUTINIZE
190 HIS NEW LOCALE. THE LAND AROUND HIM WAS OF A UNIFORM GRAY. DARKER THAN A
191 MOUSE'S FUR AND YET LIGHTER THAN A LONDON FOG. A CHILL, DAMP BREEZE PLAYED
192 WITH HIS SKIN, MAKING HIM WISH FOR GOOD LEATHER JACKET INSTEAD OF HIS ALL
193 TOO FLIMSY WIND BREAKER. "IF ONLY I COULD FIND THAT DAMNABLE KEY!! THIS
194 WOULD BE OVER IN A MATTER MINUTES AS RELATIVITY GOES! OH WELL, ONWARD AND
195 OUTWARD!" HE BEGAN TRUDGING IN WHAT SEEMED TO BE A WESTERLY DIRECTION, BUT
196 IN A WORLD OF GRAY AND NO SUN THIS WOULD BE HARD TO PROVE. HE HOPED FOR A
197 BREAK AND PRAYED FOR A MIRACLE. - FROM AN ACCOUNTING OF FINIS FIN ON HIS
198 MOST PERILOUS JOURNEY THRU THE KEYHOLE AS TOLD TO JASERETH OF LASATER, IN
199 THE YEAR 5095 S.R. (SURREAL TIME).-
200 #############################################################################
201 :************************************************************:
202 Dear Milchar & Traveller:
203 
204 I couldn't help but notice your interest in spells and magic. I
205 hadn't commented until now, primarily because you seemed only 
206 interested in modern forms and practices; I thought you might 
207 laugh at the old-fashioned ways of a professional dragon hunter.
208 
209 Then I thought "what the heck", maybe you'd be interested in 
210 knowing of some of the ancient ways.
211 
212 It was the Roman Pliny, in his thirty-seven volume "Natural 
213 History", that made dragon hunting popular by observing that 
214 dragons had precious jewels inside their heads. Though this 
215 was probably the beginning of dragon hunting as a serious 
216 professional sport it is hardly the only reason to hunt the beastes.
217 
218 The parts of dragons have many mystical and magical properties.
219 It's well known that a dragons' head buried under your house
220 will bring good fortune. If the Inn were to undertake this 
221 basic precaution we'd have far fewer incidents of violence and 
222 tragedy. But, alas, those of the scientific bent are always 
223 slowest to learn.
224 
225 Dragons fat, dried in the sun, will cure ulcers as well as 
226 keep venemous snakes away. An unguent made from the head and 
227 tail of a dragon, the marrow of a lion along with hair from 
228 his mane, the paw of a dog, and foam from the mouth of a
229 victorious race horse will make one invincible. Of course, 
230 you can get the same effect from the proper use of a cognative 
231 transmogrification gun.
232 
233 I won't go on any further, thought there is much more I could 
234 say, because I don't want to take up more than my share of the 
235 disc. I merely ask that in contemplating your spells you give 
236 occassional thought to some of the ancient ways, for sometimes 
237 they are the best.
238 
239                       Grand Dragon Master
240                       Dragon Hunters International
241 :*************************************************************:
242 Dear Mr. MacHinery:
243 
244 Mr. McKane regrets that he cannot accept your offer on account 
245 of his spiritual commitments. Perhaps once his "pay-a-prayer" 
246 monastery chain is established he will be able to offer 
247 service. Until that time he is not taking on any new accounts.
248 
249 Thank you for thinking of McKane enterprises. Hopefully we 
250 will be of service to you in the future.
251 
252                      Monsieur d'Autun
253 :**************************************************************:
254             Now listen here folks!
255 i don't like the stuff that there putting on this board!
256 this board is STUPID
257 OH shut up i'm sick of this boy george stuff......i want to FIGHT you now!!
258 Ok let's fight @*&%$!!!!!!!!!
259          Well so end a truly stupid epsisode of THE BOY GEORGE hater:by the: 
260                Phantom Writter!
261 *************************************************************
262               MICKEY MOUSE WAS HERE!
263 **************************************************************
264 *            WHO WANTS RONALD REGEAN TO BE PRESIDENT?        *
265 **************************************************************
266 Not me i think Ronald REAGEAN is a @*&$%&!!!!!!!!
267 Want to fight about it!!!
268  well the next person on this Fantasy Board leave me a message
269  or NOTE to the:
270                   Phantom Writter or drop me a message on:
271 THE BBS:in don't know the name but it's 635-xxxx
272 and it's about TIME you guys showed up!
273 Yeah where in the blazes have you been
274 Well you see DAD i was cleaning the garage and the neat stuff like that!
275 What's the NEAT stuff?
276 Nothing Dad you would not understand!
277 Well Be sure to drop me a message at
278                     CBBS/PSC-775-xxxx
279 Or else i will pound your face in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
280 ******************************************************
281 oooppss we are not done yet!
282  We are doing the advetures of OZZY OSBOURNE the MAD MAN!
283 Well one day he was walking along the street and this Guy i think it was Boy Geo
284 rge?
285 Hey you cut us off the screen you know?
286               Listen Bud i don't take that `*&%$! from you!
287  well want to fight about it?
288 No i don't i think that this bbs is awesome you can make all kinds of neat adver
289 nture things WELL I DON'T WANT TO TTAKE UP ALL THE ROOM
290 so i gotta get going !
291 Oh yeah i think you should be kind to more people no more HACKING aloud on Any o
292 ther BBS:
293         THE PHANTOM WRITTER
294 **********************************************************
295 NEXT MESSAGE PLEASE!
296 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
297 How does that go? ^ another Epsilon Minus heard from?
298 ????
299 Someone left a cryptogram a while back, it looked like
300 JPEOD YJODO DYPPJ STFGF TUPIV
301 there has been no response on it, and I must admit to not being very
302 knowledgeable about codes; I have been unsuccessful.  Would the author
303 care to give a hint?
304 ????
305 Milchar: I have also been unsuccessful in solving your alpha-group. A hint 
306 there? (this isn't looking too good--"he can dish it out but can't take it").
307 ????
308 I left a sequence problem a while ago (I think it's on drive C now)
309 which went:
310 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 20, 22, 24, 31, 100, ??, 10000, 1111111111111111
311 Since it hasn't been solved, I offer this hint: the numbers are not
312 all of the same base.  (these puzzles seem so easy when one knows the solution).
313 ??????????????????????????????? QUIZMASTER ???????????????????????????
314 jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
315 Well, folks, it's time for Monday Night Nuke'ems with the
316 Ninja. Jesse Jackson narrowly escaped getting a MIRV when he won the
317 Lousiana primary, but we don't want to mess with the worlds fair, 
318 now do we, folks. Anyway, first runner up was Hawthorne who came close
319 to receiving a whole planet buster all to himself. 
320 
321 But the winner is:
322 Dun dunna dunt da da da [Trumpet music]
323 <The Phantom Writter>
324 The Phantom Writter will be receiving his very own homemade megaton 
325 nuclear bomb to be detonated in his proximity. 
326 Tune in next Monday for more Monday Night Nuke'ems with the
327 Ninja and find out who we'd love to nuke most around Backwater.
328               The Ninja
329 *************************************
330 *************************************
331 TO THE PHANTOM WRITTER
332 THIS IS PHOENIX, WOULD YOU LIKE TO 
333 JOIN ME IN TAKING OVER PLANT EARTH
334 IF SO THEN LEAVE ME A MASG......
335 <<|>>
336 <<|>> PHOENIX
337 *************************************
338 *************************************
339   FROM HAWTHORNE
340   DATED 05/07/84
341   IF I AM BEING A PAIN TELL ME,
342 I WILL LEAVE. SORRY FOR THE
343 INCONVIENCES.THEY WERE MERELY
344 THE ATTEMPTS OF A FISH OUT OF
345 WATER.
346   FROM HAWTHORNE
347   DATED 05/07/84
348 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
349 To Quizmaster:I am resposible for the cryptogram, so I take all the credit.
350 HINTS: (For you Epsilon Minuses)
351 1.  The cryptogram is encoded in an unusual way;  I didn't even write it down.
352 2.  The Alphabet (Soup) Mess:  You'll have to look at the letters in an 
353 unique way.
354 +++++++++
355 The Traveller, haven freshened himself up a bit, followed Milchar on the way
356 to Amber.  'I have a quicker method of reaching the Ruby Valley, but it is
357 quite dangerous- especially for you.'  I plan to use the Pattern to transport
358 myself (and you) to the Valley.  Since this hasn't been done before....
359 +++++++++++++++++++ Milchar ++++ (using two lines is wasteful) ++++++++++++++++
360 ............................................................................
361 THIS IS THE COMPUTER RAT.
362 WHAT IS THIS WRITING ON THIS BBS.
363 MIKE CLEAN THIS PLACE UP.IT LOOKS LIKE MY BED ROOM.
364 
365 THE COMPUTER RAT
366 ..............................................................................
367 HI,GUYS!
368                MICKEY MOUSE IS BACK AND HE IS GOING TO GET                     
369                      YOU!
370             Oh yeah don't forget to leave me a message on CBBS/PSC ok?
371               I mean it too.
372 Who's this michlair Guy?
373 Or is it MICHAIR or something he's on this bbs alot
374 well all you Queers,just kidding                  tune in tonight for the Boy Ge
375 orge the Final Battle or know as B:the final Battle
376 ********************************************************::
377 Who wants Jesse Jackson?********************************************************
378 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
379 * * Jesse's mom, that's who! * *
380                         or, does she ?
381 <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
382  TO:PHEONIX
383  SUBJECT:TAKING OVER THE EARTH
384              I'd been more then Happy to take over this greddy little EARTH and 
385            The people who live here!
386 When shall we take it over how about TUESDAY NIGHT or will you be busy then?
387                    REMEBER THE MOB RULES:PHANTOM WRITTER
388 P.s.Who ever is using my name STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
389 
390 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
391 Mickey Mouse:That's MILCHAR, and you won't forget it, because i'll not give
392 you the time.  Now where IS that spell, 'Make Small Rodents Smaller'?
393 +++++++
394 Ah Hah!  ++++Just Solved the Quizmaster's Number Sequence++++
395 The whole series is (as given): 10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,20,22,24,31,100,??,
396 1000,1111111111111111
397 The 1000 is NOT correct; it should be 10000! (That hindered progress a little!)
398 The missing number is: <<<< 121 >>>>
399 Reason: All of the above numbers in the sequence are equal to 16 (base ten).
400 The first number, 10, is 16 in base 16, 11 is 16 in base 15, 12 is 16 in base
401 14, and so on.  The missing number is 16 in base 3, or 1 (nines) 2 (threes)
402 1 (ones). (And Milchar is still undefeated!)
403 +++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milchar ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
404 *************************************************************************
405 SO, MILCHAR, YOU INTEND TO WALK THE PATTERN EH? BE CAREFUL YOU DON'T TRIP!
406 AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT BREEDING.
407 **********************************************************************
408 THE FINAL DAY HAD COME, THE INNKEEPER WENT OUT FOR THE FINAL TIME TO
409 GET HIS FAITHFUL STEED. SETTING THE BRIDLE, HE TURNS TO GET THE SADLE, THEN
410 AFTER PAUSING FOR A MOMENT, HE DECIDES NOT. "NO, MY FRIEND TODAY YOU NEED
411 NOT CARRY MY WEIGHT. I WILL INSTEAD WALK BY YOUR SIDE." WITH THAT HE STEPS
412 OFF DOWN THE ROAD. HEADING OVER THE HILL, SOON HE COMES TO THE DEALER WHO
413 HAD AGREED TO THE DESIRED TERMS. TURNING THE REINS OVER TO THE DEALER,
414 HE GIVES ONE LAST PAT TO THE FAITHFUL SERVENTS FLANK, AND TURNS AWAY.
415 THERE BEFORE HIM STOOD HIS NEW STEED. A YOUNG FRESH COLT IN THE PRIME
416 OF CONDITION. JUST NEWLY RELEASED FROM THE BREAKING PENS. A FINE AND
417 POWERFUL STEED THIS WAS. IT MADE THE INNKEEPER SWELL WITH PRIDE TO OWN
418 THIS FINE BEAST. THOUGH HE WAS A BIT CONFUSED ABOUT THE TUBE LEADING
419 FROM THE REAR OF THE ANIMAL TO THE FEEDBAG, THE DEALER SAID IT WAS 
420 SUPPOSE TO IMPROVE THE PERFORMANCE OF THE ANIMAL. (SOMETHING ABOUT
421 MAKING HIM WANT TO GO FASTER TO GET AWAY FROM THE SMELL...) THERE ARE
422 MANY NEW AND WONDEROUS THINGS ABOUT THIS BEAST THAT IT WILL TAKE THE
423 INNKEEPER A WHILE TO GET USED TO, BUT HE IS PROUD NONE-THE-LESS TO OWN
424 IT. NOW IF HE COULD JUST FIGURE OUT WHAT THIS BUTTON MARKED "TURBO LASER"
425 WAS ALL ABOUT... (THE DEALER HAD INDICATED THAT IT WAS USEFUL DURING
426 TRAFFIC JAMS. NOW WHAT WAS A TRAFFIC JAM???) THE FIVE POINTED STAR ON
427 THE BEASTS NOSE WAS GOOD FOR WARDING OFF EVIL SPRITS AS WELL.
428 ************************** THE INKEEPER *****************************
429 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
430 Well, Milchar, you do seem to be keeping up with the challenges quite
431 well. One question, however.  Where was the mistake (1000 for 10000)? 
432 I looked back at my entry earlier on this disk, and it is correct.  Was that
433 the bad one, and did you repair it? Or was it my first entry (which has
434 scrolled off the system)?
435 How are you doing on Travellers code?
436 ????
437 Here's a new one.  I admit that this type has always baffled me.
438 
439 Supply a digit for each letter so that the equation is correct.  There is
440 only one set of digits that will work.  A given letter always represents
441 the same digit:
442                     A B C D E
443                     {times} 4
444                     ---------
445                     E D C B A
446 ????
447 Gee, folks, things are getting a bit antisocial around here again.
448 Ninja is wasting the phantom writter,  MAIDS is after Hawthorne,
449 where will it end?  Hawthorne, at least, Seems to be repentant.
450 (I must admit to greatly disliking that boy george crap, but I suppose
451 not everyone is into my puzzles, or the fantasy stories, or religious
452 discussions.)  Hmmm..food for thought, I guess.
453 ????????????????????????? QUIZMASTER ??????????????????????????????????
454 && && &&
455 Anything worth doing is worth doing to excess.
456 && && &&
457 The Poet was almost content. Belly full, he was half-sleeping in the all-
458 too-rare sunshine, his only concern how to get to know that attractive 
459 young woman in his Fundamentals of Structured Sorcery class. She was the m
460 most beautiful woman he'd seen in a long time (save PAM), and seemed to
461 enjoy the jests the Poet tossed into the class sessions, but was always
462 in the company of a rather fierce-looking fellow who would no doubt take
463 exception to any attentions paid the lady. So ran the semicouscious thoughts
464 in his mind as the afternoon shadows lengthened and began to brush the
465 edge of the cloak on which he lay, eyes closed. How to meet her privately?
466 His reverie was interrupted by a light kick on the sole of his right foot.
467 "Hi. Would you like some ice?"
468 The Poet's eyes reluctantly came open, and he realized it was good that he
469 was already lying down, lest he faint. It was she!
470                && The Mad Actor &&
471 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
472 Milchar:
473 is this perchance the answer--
474    Group 1) A E F H I K L M N T V W X Y Z
475    Group 2) B D G J P Q R U
476    Group 3) C O S
477 ?
478 ?????????????????????????? QUIZMASTER ????????????????????????????????
479 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
480   In a glade in the forest, far from the inn the sound of bagpipes grew.  
481 First faaint, then increasingly louder, they swelled as if coming from a great
482 distance.  As the sound increased, an observer would have seen the form of
483 the piper slowly coalescing as if from the sunny morning mists.  When he was
484 nearly solid, our observer would have seen him pause in his tune, and, our
485 listner would doubtles miss the faintly muttered comment
486   "Bloody bass ree....."
487 as the piper faded again into insubstantiality.
488 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
489 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
490 Chalk up one for the Quizmaster, as that is the correct method of grouping.
491 Now, tell me why (that's the second part of the puzzle)?
492 +++
493 I copied down your ORIGINAL puzzle, and the 1000 came from there.  I hadn't
494 really looked closely at the second.
495 +++
496 Milchar searches through his portable spell book, looking for a spell he 
497 thought he saw when he packed it.  After several moments of searching, he 
498 brings out a scroll of vellum, inked in a fine hand.  'Dispel Boy George Fans
499 and Rockers' the title read....
500 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ MIlchar +++++++++++++
501 ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
502 Milchar:me hopes that be a selective spell,for some consider be to be a "rocker"
503 for all who appreciate good music(if not good spelling) Deep Purple reformed
504 with the origional members about 1 month ago,album in early september.
505 any fire-fighters out there? perchance somebody can tell me why my smoke alarm 
506 awoke me to a small house fire this morning.thats right,5:56 a.m. and my
507 heating unit goes up in flames.it`was always maintained,clean filter and all.
508 I might mention that it is electric,not gas or oil. any ideas?
509 a somewhat stoasted Man in Gray
510 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
511 ****************************************************************
512 Aht FOLKS here's the story...................
513           I'm not going to put up with all this @*&%$!!!!
514 Well,because i'm going to TAKE over the WORLD with Mr.Pheonix
515 Or Pheonix............Becuase i think the World is Full of bimbo's        Such 
516                as........Boy George and Barfy Club and the group DURNAN DURAN...
517    They are all alike now nobody on this board has heard of        Black Sabbath
518        Well is'nt that neat!
519  **************************************************************
520 *Who wants Gary Hart For President**********************************************
521 *Ok.....folks i want to get somthing strait here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
522 *NO ONE IS TRYING TO WASTE ME AND WHO EVER HIS NAME IS............MILCHAR I...
523 I THINK HE IS A @*&%$!!!HEE HEE Just kidding!
524 Well i'm going to Take over the World Tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
525 ***********************************************************
526 * Mickey Mouse For President****************************************************
527                  **************
528                  :Phantom     *
529                  :Writter     *
530                  **************
531 Do any of you like Boy George???????????????
532 Shut up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
533 Ok let's not take up all the Space here....................
534 Well now,i can't think of any thing else to say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*******************
535 Wow one day Ozzy Osbourne was walking down a long street to his recording studio
536          He..happend to notice somthing Strange going on here somthing called 
537  "Strange"........So...he truned around and he noticed an ugly face........Oh my
538             God!!!!!!!!!!!!!
539 it's Boy George Oh no the Rockers are Finished RUN TO THE HILLS
540 BANG YOUR HEAD><Get the CRUSADER!!!!!!!!!!!HELP!
541 Find out next week for the adventures of BOY GEORGE the Massive  Gay!
542 ***************************************************************
543 Oh yeah.........................Who wants Donald Duck For president?
544 Taking nominies right now!taking VOTES put in your Vote To The Phantom Writter
545 **************************************************************
546 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
547   Thumbs down...............
548                             .............To the Lions  " rockers "
549 ::::::::::::::::::::Alex:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
550 **********************************************************************
551 MIG: TWO POSSIBLITIES FOR YOUR ELECTRIC HEATER TURNING ITSELF INTO A CAMPFIRE.
552 1. A LOOSE CONNECTION; A LOOSE CONNECTION WILL GET VERY HOT PARTICULARLY IN
553 A HEATER WHERE THERE IS A HEAVY ELECTRICAL LOAD. THIS HEAT WOULD CAUSE THINGS
554 TO BURN THAT WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO.
555 2. FRAYED OR PINCHED WIRE. THIS IS LIKE THE LOOSE CONNECTION ABOVE, THE
556 DIFFERENCE IS THAT IN THE LOOSE CONNECTION, THE ELECTRICITY CAN'T GET THRU
557 THE CONENCTION PROPERLY, WHILE IN THE PINCHED WIRE THE ELECTRICITY IS
558 REDIRECTED TO PLACES WHERE IT SHOULDN'T BE AGAIN OVERHEATING THINGS.
559 3. ANOTHER POSSIBLITY THOUGH YOU SEEMED TO INDICATE THAT THIS WASN'T THE
560 CASE, IS BLOCKAGE OF THE THE HEATERS AIRFLOW. IF THERE IS INSUFFICIENT AIR
561 FLOW, THEN THE HEATER WILL OVERHEAT WITH THE SAME RESULTS AGAIN.
562 
563 THEY DO WHAT THEY CAN WITH HEATER MATERIALS, BUT THERE IS A LIMIT TO WHAT 
564 THEY CAN DO AT A REASONABLE COST TO PREVENT HEATER FIRES.
565 ******************** CISTOP MIKEY *************************************
566 P.S. THE LOOSE CONNECTION PROBLEM IS WHY ALUMINUM WIREING IS NOW ILLEGAL
567 IN HOMES. IT SEEMS THAT AFTER A WHILE THE CONNECTIONS WOULD WORK THEMSELVES
568 LOOSE, HEAT UP, AND CAUSE A FIRE. TSK TSK...
569 *************************************************************************
570 JESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUS
571 TO THE FOLLOWING;
572                 QIUZ MASTER
573                 NINJA
574                 PHANTOM WRITER
575                 MAIDS
576                 HAWTHONE
577                 MILCHAIR
578                 MAN IN GRAY
579 I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOME OF YOU.QIUZ MASTER IF YOU DON'T MIND TELL ME ABOUT
580 YOUR QUIZ'S.I LIKE QUIZ'S.SOME OF YOU AROUND HERE I DON'T NOTHING ABOUT.
581 TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELFS.I DO KNOW ONE THING.THE PHANTOM WRITER AND THE 
582 NINJA ARE WEIRD PEOPLE AND I THINK THAT THEY SHOULD BE PUT IN A PADED CELL
583 OF SOME SORT.WHAT DID HAWTHORNE DO TO MAKE ALL OF YOU MAD AT HIM.FORGIVE 
584 AND FORGET THAT WHAT I THINK! MAN IN GRAY WHO ARE YOU.SAY SOMETHING!
585 MILCHAR ARE YOU A GIRL? YOU AND THE QUIZ MASTER SEEM TO HAVE SOME THING
586 GOING ON.JUST TELL ME WHATS GOING ON AROUND HERE SO I CAN GET INTO THE
587 FLOW. ARE THERE ANY CHRISTAINS AROUND HERE? AND FOR THE PERSON THAT ASK IF 
588 ANY ONE KNEW ANY ABOUT BLACK SABBATH. YES I DO AND I DONT LIKE THEM.
589 THEY ARE SATANIC WORSHIPPERS.I DONT CARE WHO KNOWS THAT I'M A CHRISTAIN
590 OR IF IT BOTHERS SOMEONE! IF SOME OF YOU THINK I'M STUPID, WELL YOU WILL
591 THINK DIFFERENT WHEN YOUR IN HELL.
592 I DONT MEAN TO COME ON LIKE A PREACHER.
593 JUST LIKE TO KNOW EVERY ONE AROUND HERE SINCE I'M GOING TO STAY.
594               THE
595                  COMPUTER RAT
596 JESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUSJESUS
597 Who is the Computer RAT?
598         Well i think that i should not be put in a paded sell    Also what about
599 THE PHOENIX he is going to take over the world with me Tonight
600 and what's WRONG with Black Sabbath?
601 Well what happens when the Lines get Full i'm going to use this whole room so no
602 One Can ENTER or LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
603 Is the Computer Rat The Sysop?
604 i sure hope not!!!!!Well you guys can do what you like and i will do what i like
605 There is Nothing Bad Being Put ON THIS SYSTEM sowhy
606 Should you bother with it unless it's your system?
607 Well i'm just about done here so gotta go!
608 ***********************************************************
609   FROM HAWTHORNE
610   DATED 05/08/84
611   IF THAT BOY GEORGE VANDALISM  IS WHY EVERYONE BUT A SELECT FEW
612 IS AGAINST ME THEN I WISH TO    STATE THAT I AM IN NO WAY CONNE-
613 CTED TO IT.THAT ISNT THE WAY I  OPERATE.DOES ANYONE STILL WANT
614 ME OFF?
615   LATER I WILL REPOST THIS.DAY.
616 ###################################################################
617 KNOWLEDGE IS A STACK OF BOOKS ON THE BACK OF AN ASS. WISDOM IS NOT.
618                                          JAPANESE PROVERB
619 ###################################################################
620 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
621  Mississippi moon wont you keep on shining me....keep on shining your light.
622                                                 Aaron
623 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

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