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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ************************ REMOVED: 20 MAY 84 *****************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day CISTern OPerator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
11 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
12 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
13 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
14 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
15 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
16 ************************************************************
17 
18 && && &&
19 Guess who made it to the top this time??
20 && && &&
21 Gaius was pleased. The decoy he'd sent to occupy his brother was working perfectly. Not that he was worried about
22 his sibling's interference, it was those blasted drinking buddies of his from the Inn. Individually he felt hee
23 could handle most of them, but they had gotten in the habit of travelling in packs, and even the great Gaius
24 couldn't watch every direction at once. Now, however, he felt secure that he could proceed with his plan in safety.
25 Stepping to his workbench, he picked up a strangely cold card, so absolutely black that it was hard to see.
26 "This is the Shadow Uncast," he spoke to the card, "the plan to isolate the Inn in Shadow is proceeding on
27 scedule. Interference is expected soon, so be on your guard and report often. That is all."
28 Gaius laid the card back in it's case and turned to his freshly-drawn bath. Might as well relax and enjoy it, he
29 thought, it may be the last chance for a while...
30                 && The Mad Actor &&
31 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
32 Well, HAWTHORNE, since no one else volunteers to answer your Trekkie question,
33 here's the answer: The USS Constellation was destroyed in "The Doomsday Machine",
34 second season, written by Norman Spinrad.  Costars William Windom. 
35 'I beamed them down to the second planet.'  'Matt, there IS no second
36 planet.'  'Don't you think I know that?  There WAS, but NOT ANY MORE!'
37 ???????????????????????????? QUIZMASTER ?????????????????????????????
38 %#$%(#$^(@$#^(#(^@(^($(&(%#$(&(@(&($(%@(&(&($%(&@(&(#(&($(&(@$(&@$(&(@$%(&(@&(@&
39 Voyeur...Everyone seems to be breaking up into groups...What say we join forces
40 and try to get back to the inn together? You seem to know much more about this
41 strange land than I do, but I do have a mode of transportation, if I can get
42 the car running again...the car does have special suspension and a limited
43 slip Detroit locker 9" rear end, if that is any help...
44 And you who call yourseld the Bard! You certainly do have an interesting
45 assortment of gadgets and gizmos in your pack. You are welcome to join us
46 also, unless you already have other plans to get back, in which case, maybe
47 WE can join YOU!
48 When we decide, I'll go out and try to get the car started again, and this
49 time, no sneaking up behind me! One dent in the hood in enough!
50 By the way, does anyone know what time it is back in Portland? I had an
51 appointment out at a hi-tech place called Tektronix before I found myself
52 here, and I just want to know if I am going to be late or not...
53 Well...off to internal combustion, rather than reality conflict for me...
54 *)(#@*%)#$@*%
55 PS To Voyeur: Hopefully I will make it do the meeting Saturday. It depends on
56 how my Fortran compiler and I get along before hand. Do you have any docs to
57 give back to me yet? Just checking...no big rush...
58 Hawthorne: DO you upload your messages? There seem to be several dropouts
59 in your messages. Either that or you like to ride HOSES... The former seems
60 to be having some tough luck...
61 *$)#@*$#@)$* L'homme sans parity - Le mecanicien de voiture aujourd'hui (*)$(%#$
62 jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
63 The Ninja swung his stick shift through the cubicle which dissolved
64 and brought him back out in Innifall where he started.
65 The Ninja
66 jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
67 ***************************************************************
68                   GUESS WHAT GUYS?
69 ***************************************************************
70 *                                                             *
71 ***************************************************************
72 THIS IS THE PHANTOM WRITTER AND I HAVE ONE THING TO SAY I'M LEAVING LET'S CHEER YEAH YEAH THRILLS I'M NOT BUGGING THIS SYSTEM A
73 Well,what ever happend to Phoenix???????????????????????????????????????>?????????????????????????????????Phantom Writter??????
74 
75 does anyone know where I can buy a hard disk for an Apple II 
76 for about 1k ?
77 
78 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
79 JEE-SUS CHRIST but it got dark fast,must be some realy bad weather comming down.
80 with that,Graymalkin goes back to the baths and relaxes in a stone tub...
81 The Man in Gray
82 p.s. Voyeur,you know the method used to find you out?? can we perhaps arange 
83 something of the same for the so-called "phantom writer"?? i'm a fan of free
84 speech,but this has GOT to stop.????????????????????????????????????????????????
85 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
86 Master:  Are you admitting that my comments were true by not replying?  
87 I thought as much!!!
88 ?????????????
89 As The Doctor, Milchar, and K-9 step into the magical 'hole' that Milchar has
90 created, The Doctor decides to cast a few protective spells on his friends and
91 himself.  "No need to cast them my friend," says Milchar, "we are quite safe in
92 here.  My power is still at the same strength as when we last battled Arson.
93 That scuffle, which I think you will agree it was, actually made me more power-
94 ful than you think!  If my protective spells do fail, I pray they don't, we can
95 always use the magnetic current modular that you built into K-9."  The Doctor
96 stands there for a moment, pondering his present situation.  After a few minutes
97 he comes to a decision.  "Milch, old friend and companion, I hav have trust in 
98 you and your m.  The only reasooonn
99 reason at I was casting those spells was for added  protection.  Doon
100 
101 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????? The Doctor ?????????????
102 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
103 hello there!!!,
104 could anyone please tell me how to get the coller to put around the three
105 headed dog in zork ii??????c'mon you guys answer!!!!!!!!!
106 xxxxxxxxxxxpheric foerender   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
107 are you paranoid?????
108 im doing a poll if you are then print your name and adress and where you wil
109 be at all times,your phone number and your social sucurity,master card numbers
110 what clubs you belong to and who you voted for in the oregon primary on may 15.
111             we will get back at you
112 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
113 "Well, if it will make you feel better.  Now to follow this hole."
114 They walk down a perfectly circular tunnel that seems to be composed of small
115 white lines intertwined into a rough mat.  Pulses of energy flowed from the 
116 hole behind them, as already the natural forces of reality-space were at work
117 to repair the troublesome breach.  The hole was becoming smaller, now there
118 was no doubt!  "Uhh... Doc?  We have a problem here.  Someone's accelerated
119 this reality-space's regeneration rate, and the tunnel we are now walking in
120 will soon cease to exist, with us in it.  Personally, I dislike the idea of 
121 non-existance, as it would be so BORING.  K-9, could you please slow the 
122 process as much as posssible while we move on?"
123 "Affirmative.  I am complying.  Rate of decay now stands at 1 meter every 
124 5.67372 minutes sidereal time."
125 The Doctor said as he finished the last of the bread, "Well, now.  That gives
126 us a whole 13.5320632 minutes, doesn't it?  Plenty of time.  Where did you
127 say our first stop was, Milch?  Is there any food to be had thereabouts?"
128 Milchar ignored him for the moment, and concentrated on the Amulet.  Power
129 surged from him and flew into the latticework of strings about them.  Milchar
130 seems to weaken for a moment... It passes.  "Decay of Reality Tunnel now 
131 reversing itself.  Estimated time for complete decay is now 34.1573 minutes."
132 Milchar comments, "I believe that I shall need food also, my friend.... and 
133 rest.  How I need rest........."
134 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milchar +++++++++++++++++
135 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
136 while the rest of the Backwater crew is triing to get to the inn,Graymalkin is
137 floating in a hot tub in the roman baths,a thought comes to him from an unknown
138 source.(##the Phantom Writers phone code is 620-07xx,if he doesn't get real
139 smart,real soon,use your abilitys on him remember to thank ryur56vh##)
140 "well damn,lost the thought signal,oh well,perhaps the person to thank will`make
141 himself known to me later."
142 The Man in Gray
143 P.S.Mr T.N. I believe this is your only warning,quit the "phantom writer" shit.
144 (apologys to Mother/Gran`mother/afyone with overly  
145 (mom,down with the phone,thankyou) sensitive eyes.
146 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
147 DEATHTOPHANTOMWRITTER DEATHTOPHANTOMWRITTER DEATHTOPHANTOMWRITTER
148 WE WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE OUR MAN OF THE YEAR AWARDS - THIS YEAR THE
149 WINNER IS - THE MAN IN GREY - THROUGH IS EFFORTS, THE HORRIBLE PHANTOM
150 WRITTER (PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO MISPELL HIS NAME) HAS BEEN EXPOSED, AND
151 WILL SOON BE GONE FOREVER. MAN IN GREY, YOUR EFFORTS WILL BE HIGHLY
152 REWARDED. YOU ARE A TRUE CREDIT TO MEN IN GREY EVERYWHERE. AGAIN, WE
153 THANK YOU. HOPEFULLY, MAIDS (BETTER KNOWN AS DEATHTOA$) CAN LEAVE BW
154 IN THE CONDITION IT WAS BEFORE THE ARRIVAL OF PHANTOM WRITTER AND
155 FRIENDS. NOW IF WE COULD ONLY FIND A WAY TO TAPE HAWTHORNES HANDS 
156 TOGETHER.
157 DEATHTOPHANTOMWRITTER DEATHTOPHANTOMWRITTER DEATHTOPHANTOMWRITTER
158 *************************************************************************
159 Apprentice, I think we should go to the INN. I don't know why, just a 
160 hunch. Since you don't have transportation handy why don't you share this
161 potion of
162 random potion of transportation with me. It is guaranteed to get us 
163 wherever we want to go. Just no guarantee's of how. Not five minutes 
164 after drinking the potion Whisper and the apprentice are somewhat 
165 surprised to see and hear an electric trolley come tootling out of the 
166 nearby hillside and pull up to a stop beside them. This must be our ride
167 apprentice, lets get on now before something even weirder shows up.
168 As they find seats the trolley tottles the William Tell Overture and
169 with two clanks and groan rattles off into the hill on the other side
170 of the valley. I don't know how long this will take or whether this 
171 is a thru ride Whisper whispers to the apprentice and greeneyes. I guess
172 we'll just have to wait and see. Remember don't eat anything well 
173 we are in the hill.
174 ********************************** WHISPER *****************************
175 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
176 MiG: your position seems to be very advantageous.  Do these people
177 confide in you?  Also, was the person you addressed your first warning
178 to (Bobby) the same one I addressed a letter to on a certain other board?
179 If so, he didn't seem to take the hint.  See you Saturday?  (if so,
180 does Kelly get to be bored again?)
181 :::::::::::
182 L'homme:  since most of our communicating seems to be with each other, it
183 seems logical to team up.  My major problem is that this adventure in
184 'Amber' seems to have strayed rather far from the Amber that I am
185 familiar with.  
186 I will talk to Corwin, ask him to show me how to 'motivate' your car.
187 With it running, I will be able to shift realities as we drive from Amber,
188 each reality being more like Innisfall and less like Amber.
189 :::::::::
190 Question:  Are we all just returning to the Inn?  No concerted attack or
191 anything clever like that?  Just a mob dribbling in as we get  there?  And 
192 what of the threat, waiting there to pick us off one by one (or two by two)?
193 ::::::::::
194 L'homme again: no problem with the docs.  I copied everything I needed from
195 the 'orange' one, the 'blue' one (small pages) I have not really gotten into
196 yet, due to the hangup it has. (nudge nudge).  I also got mine copied for you.
197 If you want them Saturday, I'll bring them to the meeting, else wait until
198 I see you again (which will be fairly soon, I guesstimate).
199 ::::::::
200 Well, I see Bud Clark got Portland!  Surprise Surprise!  Now what's he going
201 to do with it?
202 ::::::::::
203 L'homme: (one more time): I  caught your act on cable.  Complaint--
204 the film was fuzzy; I couldn't read the messages (like my own.  I'm going to
205 have to be more careful what I write, no telling where it might end up.
206 One of those messages was private, due to the sensitivity of the subject matter)
207 :::::::::::::::::::::::::O O:::::::::voyeur::::::::::O O:::::::::::::::
208 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
209   gee, the only person to ask of my well-being was MiG? Maybe my BWMS days
210 are coming to a close... Will try to visit more often... 
211  BARD: if our mutual friend has your new # will contact you re:arch ASAP.
212                                                     Aaron
213 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
214 MAGICAL AIRWAVES CRACKLE WITH LIFE!
215 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
216 Sometimes a rush from all sides crushes the enemy in the center.
217 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
218 "I'd be glad to hitch a ride - have you ever WALKED 5000 lines?"
219 As they approached the car Bard, voyeur & M. L'homme were busily discussing 
220 means of activating the vehicle....
221 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
222 Voyeur: Once we get a little paratime between us & Amber I can use my gear 
223 to aid in the shifting. I figure that it might be a good idea to have an 
224 alternate method... We will have to be careful though, if we use both at the
225 same time we may get a synergistic reaction!
226 M. L'homme:I'll need to hook some gear to the electrical system of your car
227 a cigarette lighter will do in a pinch, but if you have a stereo or CB 
228 hook-up I would rather use that.
229 No need to worry about the time, if we get out of this ok. I'll show 
230 how to route thru some reverse time-flows - you can get back before you
231 left!
232 MIG:sorry, I meant to address Greymalkin! (hint: Title-The Indian Giver,
233 characters- Guig<Grand Guignol>, Fee Five Chinese, etc)
234 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
235 "Whisper, I hope that thou knowest what thou art about. What do you 
236 think of our new friend?" inquired the apprentice, indicating the five foot
237 saber-toothed cat he had introduced as "Green Eyes".
238 ..............................the apprentice................................
239 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
240 How stupid of me Bard,I forgot all about that little hint.I knew that one of
241 the BW people would be well read enough to catch it.i've decided to give 
242 Graymalkin the capabilitys that Guig had.Wanna try and make the "death to x"
243 person immortal??(he he,chuckle)
244 Aaron,perhaps if there was a XXXXXXXXX discussion going on,people would miss
245 your rapier wit more.
246 The Man in Gray??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
247 Gee,just spent 4 hours on other BBS's and came back here,BW be gettin slow.
248 also BW line busy 99.99% of time,very vicious lurkers we have.
249 Voyeur:No,they don't confide in me,they are stupid and easily caught
250 A
251 
252 whoops,there is a GTE man working on my neighbors line today,I think I shall
253 
254 term him if he hits my line again.
255 All:does anyone know the delete char for VAX/VMS vers 3.5?? ctrl H doesn't
256 seem touhhhhaihf8008y8@q@q|~67[([~4qfbf
257 (will definantly term pho~a
258 man)
259 MiG again
260 jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
261 Wait a minute I deserve some of the credit for catching the Phantom
262 Writter. Who do you think gave MiG the message on the magical tome in which
263 to find his number?
264 The Ninja
265 TO:SYSOP
266 FROM: ERIC BERG
267 
268 COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT LANGUAGE YOU RUN
269 
270 YOUR SYSTEM ON BY LEAVING A MESSAGE TO ERIC
271 TO:SYSOP
272 FROM:ERIC BERG
273 
274 COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT LANGUAGE YOU RUN YOUR SYSTEM
275 ON.  I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT.  PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE TO ERIC BERG.
276   HMMMM,THE PHANTOM WRITER HAS  BEEN CAUGHT AND DEPOSED AND MOT A PEEP OUT OF HIM SINCE.GEE,AND TO THE DEATH TO WHOMEVER PERSON
277 AT LEAST YOU DIDNT SPRAY PAINT  DEATH TO T.N. ON THE CENTRAL    BRANCH OF THE MULTNOMAH COUNTY  LIBRARY.THANK ENTROPY FOR SMALL
278 FAVORS...
279   SORRY FOR THE SCANDAL INVOLVIN G THE HOSES.AT LEAST THE FORMER WASNT ARRESTED AND TRIED FOR   INDECENT EXPOSURE.UGH,AN EIGHT
280 FOOT TALL BATRACHOID WITH A BAD SENSE OF HUMOR.HOW MUCH DID YOU SAY ONE OF THOSE POLICE CARS COS T THE CITY ?
281   QUIZMASTER;GOOD JOB.NICE TO   SEE SOME BACKGROUND IN A TREKKER INSTEAD OF THE USUAL "Y'NOW THA T ONE EPISODE WITH THE CAT,AND
282 TERRI GAR ?".DO YOU HAVE A CONCO RDANCE,A COMPENDIUM OR JUST A  VERY GOOD MEMORY FOR STAR TREK  TRIVIA?HERES SOMETHING TO TRY;
283 HOWSABOUT GIVING ME THE NAMES OF EVERY EPISODE IN WHICH ANY CONS TITUTION CLASS SHIP WAS LOST OR DESTROYED ?
284   WELL I FOUND A PHONE JACK IN  MY PRIME CLASSROOM AND SPENT HAL F OF THE DAY IN THERE WITH A   DISK MOD iii TRASH TRYING TO SH
285 OW PEOPLE BLACKWATER.BUT NONE OF THE FOUR TERMINAL PROGRAMS THAT I TRIED WORKED.SO I HAVE TO TRY A COLOR COMPUTER VIDEOTEX ROM
286 PACKAGE.LETS HOPE IT WORKS SHALL WE?AND IF ANYONE OUT THERE HAS A SPARE ISSUE OF 80MICRO HOWSDIS ONE LINE TERMINAL PROGRAM SUPP
287 OSE TO WORK.IT IS THE LAT ONE AND I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY HELP ,LORD WOULD I APPRECIATE IT.AND AFTER BUYING ONE OF THOSE CRAP-
288 PY LITTLE PHONES TOO...
289   OH YES BEFORE I GO SOMEBODY   PLEASE TELL ME WHEN WILL THE DEA TH TO WHOMEVER PERSON FINALLY  FIGUIRE OUT THAT I DONT KNOW WH
290 HE HAS DECIDED I AM UNDESIRABLE ?WHAT HORRIBLE DEED COULD I HAVE DONE TO AGGRAVATE HIM SO.OR HER AS THE CASE MAY BE.
291   WHEN WILL PAM RETURN?
292   SIGNED,
293   PROMETHEUS
294   HAWTHORNE
295 
296   POST SCRIPTUS;EVAN I ONLY NOW FOUND YOUR CORRECT ANSWER TO THE ARENA QUESTION.NICE JOB.CARE TO EXCHANGE AGAIN ?
297 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
298 The travellers quicken their steps, and reach the other end of the Reality
299 Tunnel before it closes.  K-9, as always, brought up the rear.  The edge of
300 the Hole passes by.....   They are in a dark and misty valley, the sun being
301 either below the horizon or blotted out by the mist, Milchar wasn't sure 
302 A wave of exhaustion washes over Milchar, as the spell he has used to keep 
303 going has failed.  "Magic always did have a tiring effect on me, and with all
304 this mind-calling I just can't keep up with it.  We must find shelter, and 
305 I must put myself in a Trance.  I wonder why this happens?  It could be my 
306 strange blood..."  Through all of this, The Doctor just barely gives any 
307 attention to the mage as he scans the way ahead.  "K-9, any sign of 
308 civilization within a one-mile radius?  Specify the nearest occurance, please."
309 "Now scanning.  Sensors indicate small cottage .8743 kilometers NW from 
310 present position."  The Doctor tplaces himsellf under one of Milchar's arms,
311 and half-carries the mage off in one direction.  Trails of mist are swept 
312 aside as they walk.
313 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Milchar +++++++++++++++++++
314 **************************************************************************
315 Apprentice I must admit our new companion gave me a start at first. Do I know
316 (her/him?) in some other form. Oops the trolley is stopping lets see, where
317 are we. No, we're not at the inn yet. Must be time to change forms of 
318 transportation. Oh God, an Orc drawn rickshaw. Don't worry, we'll get there.
319 This potion is guaranteed. I picked it up at Crazy Jacks cutrate magic
320 emporium but i had it checked out by the best alchemist in Agnath. See,
321 there's a map in that pouch there and a whip on the running board. Why don't
322 you use the whip and get those orcs moving while I check out this map.
323 ****************************************************** WHISPER *************
324 P.S. Design a system that any fool can use and only a fool will wan't 
325 to use it.      SHAW'S PRINCIPLE
326 ****************************************************************************
327 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
328 Well, I was watching Johnny Carson this evening, one of his guests was
329 the puzzle editor from OMNI magazine.  That turkey used several of my puzzles!
330 The OTTFFSS puzzle, and the 3 boxes (apples, oranges, and mixed). Carson had
331 a lot of problems with those two, although he whizzed through the spelling
332 parts. (commonly misspelled words: asinine, accommodate, and others)
333 How much was rehearsed, I know not.
334 ???????????
335 HAWTHORNE: I have no concordat, no compendium.  Just my worn-out, beat-up
336 "The Making of Star Trek", which I pull out when need be, but have by
337 no means memorized.  Its uses run more along the lines of general information
338 about the show, rather than true trivia.  Obviously, I am working up to 
339 something, to wit--I don't know the answer to your Trekkie question.
340 I do know the four ships destroyed: Constellation, Farragut, Valiant, and
341 Intrepid.  I THINK the Intrepid was populated by Vulcans, and was destroyed
342 in The Immunity Syndrome.  The Constellation we've already disposed of.
343 ??
344 Your one-line terminal program from 80-Micro looks like this:
345 10 CLS:PRINT15"A SHORT TERMINAL PROGRAM BY DON MOORE":POKE16890,0
346 DEFUSR0=90:DEFUSR1=80:DEFUSR2=85:X=USR0(0):FORI=1TO2STEP0:X=USR1(0):
347 PRINTCHR$(PEEK(16872)AND127);:C$=INKEY$:IFC$=""THENNEXTELSEPOKE16880,ASC(C$):
348 X=USR2(0):NEXT
349 ??
350 I have no idea if it works, since I don't have a Model 3.
351 Here are some comments regarding your question about your unpopularity.
352 Appearance makes a big and long-lasting impression.  You came in with a
353 rather bizarre style, and alienated many people quickly.  You cleaned up 
354 your act, but unfortunately you have already been relegated to the
355 "DEATH TO..." crowd.  You now face the same problem as is faced by women
356 trying to make it in male occupations.  In order to become accepted as
357 "one of the guys", you have to do Better than them (but not to the
358 point of becoming a 'show off').  Some suggestions:  Use lower case if
359 you have it.  Upper-case-only immediately tells readers that you are just
360 a kid with a toy. No self respecting computer user would demean himself with
361 something so cheap that it doesn't have lower case (unquote.  I just converted
362 my model 1 to lower case about a year ago, so I suppose that I am a recent
363 graduate).
364 Also, and this is probably the most important, correct your grammer,
365 punctuation, and spelling. (no, you can't get away from school, even here).
366 I get very tired trying to decipher messages that have letters missing,
367 words misspelled, and gaps     like   this throughout the text.
368 I keep a dictionary handy when I enter messages here, especially when I
369 plan to criticize someone elses spelling.  After you have entered a message,
370 read back through it to check for misspellings and other errors. If you write
371 like I often do (and am doing now), I compose as I enter.  This leads to 
372 disjointed thoughts, and a certain jerkiness in the writing.  In a message such
373 as this one, I suppose it is acceptable (since I am doing it, it must be).
374 If you plan on entering a lengthy story line, it might be a good idea
375 to write it first on paper, get the wording right, check the spelling, etc.
376 As you can see, there is a certain amount of work involved in joining
377 the 'in' crowd.  Here, as in life, you get back what you put in. (that's the
378 way it's supposed to work, anyway).
379 This applies to all those who seem to be 'persona non gratas' around here lately
380 Phoenix, Phantom Writter (the person who writes is a writer, not a writter).
381 For what it's worth, this is how I view the situation.
382 Now to go back and check how badly I violated my own suggestions...
383 ??????????????????????????? QUIZMASTER ????????????????????????????????
384 Well, I went back and looked, and sure enough, it's jerky, and I didn't
385 say a lot of the things I was going to.  Nevertheless, I stand by what
386 I said.  If you need further clarification, let me know. I, or some other
387 eager volunteer, will be glad to educate you further. (Please, folks, give
388 the guy a chance.  Now that it's been EXPLAINED...
389 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
390 -----------------------------------(<>)-----------------------------------------
391    I had jumped through the gate that the assasins had come through just in
392 time. Now I found myself in a bleak and desolate land, just dwarf trees and
393 rock as far as I could see in the low hills sorrounding me. There appeared
394 to be a large stone structure down in the valley below, looks as good as
395 any destination, hopefully somthing could be found down there to explain
396 things, now for a quick obscurement spell...
397 --------------------------(<>)The Traveller(<>)---------------------------------
398 Quizmaster: Here's one for you- following are 6 groups of letters and/or numbers
399 the groups may or may not be complete & more groups may be possible (yech! what 
400 a disclaimer... oh well)
401 The question? How are the groups determined?
402 1
403 7
404 4 C F
405 2 3 b d E
406 0 6 A
407 8 
408 Have fun!
409 ____________________________________Leonard_____________________________________
410 MIG: That sounds like a wonderful idea! Be careful, just think what it would be
411 like if you SUCEEDED! 
412 As for the phone man...
413 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
414 Whisper: I do believe that he hath a liking for thee! As for the orcs, I shall 
415 allow Green Eyes to "pace" our bearers. I believe that that should suffice.
416 Wilt thou grace us with thy presence Saturday at the Library? I await thy
417 reply.
418 Thy servant,
419 ....................................the apprentice..............................
420 && && &&
421 QUIZMASTER: you misspelled "grammar".     ...and yes, I know that I used an "it's" when I needed an "its". Sorry.
422 && && &&
423 Gaius lolled in his bath and thought. The backwater crowd was heading back to the Inn. They were such tourists,
424 always dashing about aimlessly; but he was afraid that when they found out his plan to cut the inn off from all
425 the other realities they would find a common goal uncomfortably quickly. There must be some way to slow them down;
426 perhaps he should start killing them off. That wouldn't stop people as accostomed to multiple realities as the 
427 Innhabitants, the religious would simply walk back from Heaven and the others would not be intimidated when they 
428 found out that Hell was in Troutdale, Oregon. But at least it should delay them long enough for him to complete his
429 ultimate plan. Yes, he thought, I must start killing them as soon as I finish my bath. With that thought the 
430 infamous Gaius gave his rubber duck a playful squeeze and slid beneath the bubbles.
431                && The Mad Actor &&
432 -----------------------------------------------------------------------
433 
O.K., what is "nxxyz"? Another UNIX wonder program, or just another
434 
garbage file? Better list it and see what is. TYPE nxxyz< Nope that
435 
didn`t work, guess "type" isn't the UNIX print command. That's
436 
called "cat". So what does "type" do? It did something. Soo, drag out
437 
the manual, shuffle,,but right next to TYPE, I found
438 
TURBO, identified only as "encabulator". Curiosity overcame my good
439 
sense, and I skipped TYPE to read TURBO.
440 
 
441 
.......................................................................
442 
                        CB-UNIX
443 
                  Programmer's Manual
444 
                      edition 2.1
445 
                
446 
                    Department 9473
447 
                Bell Laboratories, Inc.
448 
 
449 
.......................................................................
450 
TURBO ENCABULATOR (1)           CB-UNIX 2.1        TURBO ENCABULATOR (1)
451 
 
452 
NAME
453 
        Turbo - Encabulator
454 
 
455 
DESCRIPTION
456 
        For a number of years now work has been proceeding in order to
457 
bring perfection to the crudely conceived idea of a machine that would
458 
not only supply inverse reactive current for use in unilateral phase 
459 
detractors, but would also be capable of automatically synchronizing
460 
cardinal grammeters. Such a machine is the "Turbo-Encabulator". Basically,
461 
the only new priniple involved is that instead of power being generated
462 
by the relaxive motion of conductors and fluxes, it is produced by the
463 
modial interaction of megneto-reluctance and capacitive directence.
464 
 
465 
The original machine had a base-plate of prefabulated amulite, surmounted
466 
by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving
467 
bearings were in a direct line with the pentametric fan. The latter 
468 
consisted simply of six hydrocoptic marzelvanes, so fitted to the
469 
ambifacient lunar waneshaft that sides fumbling was effectively prevented.
470 
The main winding was of the normal lotus-o-delta type placed in
471 
panendermic semiboloid slots in the stator, every seventh conductor
472 
being connected by a non-reversible tremie pipe to the differential
473 
girdlespring on the "up" end of the grammeters.
474 
 
475 
Forty-one manestically spaced grouting brushes were arranged to feed into
476 
the rotor slip-stream a mixture of high S-valve phenyhydrobenzamine and 
477 
five per cent reminative tetryliodohexamine. Both of these liquids have 
478 
specific pericosities given by P-2.5Cn where n is the diathetical evolute
479 
of retrograde temperature phase disposition and C is the Cholmondeley's
480 
anular grillage coefficient. initially, n was measured with the aid of
481 
a metapolar refractive pilfrometer (for a description of this ingenious
482 
instrument, see L. E. Rumpelverstein in "Zeitschrift fur Electrotech-
483 
nistiatischs-Donnerblitze",vol vii.), but up to the present date
484 
nothing has been found to equal the transcendental hopper dadoscope
485 
(see "Prological Sciences", June 1914).
486 
 
487 
Electrical engineers will appreciate the difficulty of nubing together
488 
a regurgitative purwell and a supramitive wennelsprocket. Indeed, this
489 
proved to be a stumbling block to further development until, in 1942,
490 
it was found that the use of anhydrous nagling pins enabled a 
491 
kryptonastic boiling shim to be tankered.
492 
 
493 
The early sttempts to construct a sufficiently robust spiral decommutator
494 
failed largely because of a lack of appreciation of the large quasi-
495 
piestic stress in the gremlin studs; the latter were specially designed
496 
to hold the roffit bars to the spamshaft. When, however, it was discovered
497 
that wending could be prevented by a simple addition to the living 
498 
sockets almost perfect running was secured.
499 
 
500 
The operating point is maintained as near as possible to the h.f. rem
501 
peak by constantly fromaging the bitumogenous spandrels. This is a 
502 
distinct advance on the standard nivelsheave in that no dramcock oil
503 
is required after the phase detractors have remissed.
504 
 
505 
Undoubtedly, the turbo-encabulator has now reached a very high level
506 
of technical development. It has been successfully used for 
507 
operating nofer trunnions. In addition whenever a barescent skor
508 
motion is required, it may be employed in conjunction with the drawn
509 
reciprocating dingle arm to reduce sinusoidal depleneration.
510 
 
511 
DIAGNOSTICS
512 
        All diagnostics are printed on file descriptor 2.
513 
BUGS
514 
        The living sprockets can sometimes react unfavorably with
515 
the hydrocoptic marzelvanes to produce a high level of radiation.
516 
This should not be considered a problem thaough.
517 
 
518 
page 1                                                  November 1979
519 
 
520 
----------------------------------------------------------------------
521 
Egad, Edlin is awful!!!!!! Never again will I curse ED1.
522 
No wonder there are so many editors for the PC, anything is better
523 
than !@#$$%^&(unprintable....) Edlin.
524 
////////////////////////////BAD\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
525 $*#@)%*)%*$)*^%)!#*^)#$*^)%*^&)@*#$&^)*&)!@*%$&)!*)$%*^&)&)@*$%&)*$)&*$@)&*@$)
526 Voyeur: Bring the docs! I will be there. It is not so much that I have made
527 up with my Fortran, it's that I can't stand its sight for too many hours
528 without a break in between. That break will come on Saturday between 1 and 4.
529 So be it...
530 Quizmaster: Here is another in a series of special Star Trek Questions... It's
531 a two-parter, so read carefully...Name all the episodes where Capt. Kirk got
532 laid. There are several, and in some shows, it happened more than once. The
533 second part is a little tougher...What are the names of all the women who
534 were on the receiving end of all this attention. And as a special bonus
535 question...Which episode found kirk the proud father to be? Now isn't this
536 better than questions about starships? I hope this isn't risque...We are
537 all adults...well most of us anyway...
538 BARD: My car comes equipped with all the necessary electrical outlets you
539 could possibly want. Would a nitrous oxide system be any help?
540 BAD: Sure edlin has its problems, but it ALWAYS works, is small, is free, is
541 fast, and doesn't have a lot of useless commands... (I must admit I use
542 other editors too, but I always keep a copy of edlin around)
543 Did you leave the unix message? Very good, except for a couple of notes. Most
544 MANuals I have seen are not double spaced, or is it due to my 80 column screen?
545 Also, you (or whoever) forgot the SEE ALSO section that comes equipped in
546 all UNIX literature. But I did enjoy it very much! Good job!
547 *)%$*#%)$
548 On to the adventure...
549 Glad to have you abord BARD...Let's go voyeur...Can you get Lord Corwin to
550 get my car going? Is he a real mechanic, or just someone who works out of
551 his garage at home?
552 And on the subject of getting back to this 'inn' you seem to be talking
553 about...where is it? Is it near Civic Stadium? Or is it closer to the
554 river? And why would someone bring us all here, just to have us try to
555 get back? It seems like an awful lot of effort for nothing? Amber seems
556 like a nice place to visit, and as long as BARD can get me to Tek in time,
557 I was hoping we were going to stay here awhile before we had to return.
558 I guess that is life eh?
559 *$)#*@$)@*$ L'homme sans parity - C'est la vie! *$#@*$)@*$#)@*$#@)$*#@)$*#@)$*
560 PS to MIG : Any idea when the Nerd will be up. I never got a chance to use
561 my new password.
562 PPS to Voyeur : Fuzzy picture??? C'est impossible! It looked fine when we
563 looked it over on the studio monitors. It must be the cable, or your TV...
564 Sorry it did't look so good. Fuzzy letters on such a show do not make for
565 good ratings (haha)...
566 *$)#@*$)@#*$ L'homme sans parity - encore *$%)#@*%@)#*%#)$@*%)#@$*%^#)$*^#)$*^
567 OK GUYS YOU WIN I'M LEAVEING
568 HPHANTOM WRITTER IS NO MORE!!!
569 HE KILLS HIMSELF!!!!!
570 
571 ONCE AGAIN LASETER LOOKED THROUGH THE KALEIDASCOPE, "HMMMMM, THERE SEEMS TO
572 BE A DISTURBANCE IN THE GORMATH SECTOR! THIS COULD DEFINITELY CAUSE THE
573 TRANS-REALITY OFFICE SOME PROBLEMS. I'D BEST PUT IN CALL FOR SOME HELP FROM
574 THE OUTSIDE" ALL THE WHILE A TINY, INSIGNIFICANT LOOKING GRIMNALESE FLYING
575 CATCCHERCAN HAD BEEN LOOKING AND LISTENING WITH GREAT INTENT, NOW IT SPREAD
576 IT'S FRAGILE LOOKING WINGS AND SPED WITH HASTE TO IT'S MASTER. SOON MORE
577 THAN THE TRANS-REALITY OFFICE WOULD BE HAVING PROBLEMS. THE CATCHERCAN HAD
578 
579   QUIZMASTER;THANK YOU FOR THE  HELP WITH BACKWATER'S ETTIQUETTE .HMM,AS LONG AS I FINALLY FOUND AN ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE MANUAL FO
580 THE 6809E AND WITH ALL THIS WORK ON TERMINAL PROGRAMS MAYBE SOON I CAN RID MYSELF OF THE LOWER  CASE PROBLEM.AS IT STANDS THERE
581 ARE ONLY TWO TERMINAL PACKAGES  THAT I KNOW OF FOR MY COMPUTER  THAT FEATURE UUPPER/LOWER CASE  AND I REALLY DONT THINK THAT I
582 WILL GET EITHER OF THEM REAL SOO N IF AT ALL AND AT THIS STAGE I DONT REALLY THINK I WILL.BUT TH E IDEA OF DESIGNING A TERMINAL
583 THAT WILL ALLOW ME TO DO THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS I WAS ATTRAC TED TO ASSEMBLY IN THE FIRST PL ACE.AND AS FOR THE IDEA OF QUO
584 TE UNQUOTE TOYS DOESNT THE COMMO DORE HAVE UPPER/LOWER CASE.AND I THINK THAT THIS MEASLY SYSTEM THAT I HAVE HERE BEATS A COMMOD
585 ORE ANYWAY.HORRID LITTLE THINGS ARENT THEY.
586   AS FOR THE LATEST TREK QUESTIO NS.THE SECOND ONE IS EASY;PARAD ISE SYNDROME.I WILL NEED A WHIL E TO CHECK THROUGH ALL THOSE
587 TIMES THAT KIRK DISPLAYED HIS SE CONDARY KIRK CHARACTERISTIC.SEC ONDARY THAT IS TO DESTROYING LO GICAL THINGS WITH ILLOGIC.AND
588 JUST IN CASE THE SECONDARY KIRK CHARACTERISTIC IS ROUTINE FEMALE SEDUCTION.JUST IN CASE ANY IMAG INATIONS WERE RUNNING WILD AS
589 THEY SAY.
590   I GUESS TIME AND SPACE CONSTRA IN ME TO MUCH AT THE MOMENT SO UNTILL THE NEXT DISK,GOOD DAY.
591   SIGNED,
592   HAWTHORNE
593   POST SCRIPTUS;I REALLY DIDNT  MEAN TO ALLIENATE ANYONE.SORRY  THAT I DID.
594 ======================================================================
595 For those that care--tomorrow, Saturday, May 19 1984, the biweekly
596 PorSFiS meeting takes place at the downtown (Portland) Multnomah County Library.
597 It starts at 2:00 PM, and runs until around 3:30, at which time the
598 Friends of the Doctor (Who) group meets.  At 3:30 several of the PorSFiS
599 members move to the PC&S tavern, 2 blocks North and 1 block West.  Several Backwater participants also attend the PorSFiS 
600 meeting, and then move on to the PC&S tavern.  From there there may be
601 further groupings.  Attending are commonly apprentice, Bard, voyeur, L'homme, MiG, &TMA&, sometimes Piper, Fast Freddie, Travel
602 /Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z
603 BAD: I have another suggestion for an edlin replacement.... for the quick jobs.
604 just type in 'copy con: a:filename.typ' to copy frrom console to a file, the
605 colon at the end of con(:) may or may not be the correct syntax. To end the
606 entering proccess, just hit a ctrl-Z and a return to save the file ctrl-C
607 to abort.: you can also copy to and from the printer ('prn:'):eg.
608 'copy con: prn:'    -->  copy from console to printer.
609 'copy a:filename.typ prn:'    --> output ffile to printer.
610 These are only best for the small jobs,  autoexec.bat, and any other short file
611 or maybe a long one for messages to be dumped on a BBS.
612 type ya later...
613 /Z/z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/ XENON /Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z
614 P.S.:  The reason that I believe this is more profitable is that you do not
615 need to have a disk with the correct editor file in your drive to start
616 editing files..
617 /Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/ XENON /Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z/Z
618   LETS SEE IF ANYONE FINDS THIS MESSAGE,IF SO LEAVE A COMMENT TO 'DUNT'.       --  DUNT(HAWTHORN E)

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