LIST
FILE ON
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STATUS: ALL ALLOWED
NUMBER OF LINES: 629 
1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask....
2 ********************** REMOVED 11 FEB 84 *******************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System)  Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6                     PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privatly owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privatly owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 ************************************************************
19 
20 *************************************************
21 A LITTLE ADDED NOTE TO THOSE WHO WERE INTERESTED IN MY BEAVER STORY
22 THE LITTLE PEST FINISHED OFF THE SHRUB, SO NOW IT IS GONE AND I WON'T
23 BE BOTHERED BY HIM ANY MORE. SIGH.. IF IT WASN'T FOR THE DAMAGE, I
24 WOULDN'T MIND HAVING HIM AROUND, BUT IT SEEMS THE ONLY REASON FOR
25 HIM TO STICK AROUND AT ALL IS TO DECIMATE MY POOR LITTLE SHRUB.
26 *********************** CISTOP MIKEY *************************
27 Voyeur: Please be more careful about entering msgs. Somehow an Escape sequence
28 found its way into your msg. It is rather difficult to decipher a msg when my
29 terminal homes the cursor WITHOUT ERASING THE SCREEN! 
30  In any case, there are three events listed in this month's issue of
31 The Crier. South Sound Tourney in Evercleare (Olympia, Tumwater, etc). 
32 An Ithra session on Crusaders in Couer du Val (Corvallis). (Ithra is an SCA 
33 unversity, sort of..)
34 Barbarian Brawl in Windrym (Lethbridge, Alberta).
35  I doubt that it was the Barbarian Brawl that you heard about. Note that this
36 list is FAR from complete. There may be many LOCAL events that didn't get sent
37 to The Crier.
38  If anyone wants more info, tell me where you live. (city, county, state).
39 I'll post the address & phone number of the Seneschal of the nearest branch of
40 the Society.
41 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
42  The Bard helped the piper back to his feet, and called for a CHAIR for his
43 friend.
44 ~~~~~~~~~
45  I could have sworn that Pam planted a hawthorne, not a rowan. They ARE related
46 but... ah well,  I think I shall sing of the rowan & then tell my tale.
47 
48   Rowan Tree  (words & music: Cynthia McQuillin)
49 Of all the trees that blossom beneath the sacred sun,
50 The fairest is the rowan tree, who wears a snow white crown.
51 The fairest is the rowan tree that sang me to may rest
52 With secret signs of power bare upon her breast.
53  By the rising of the sun.
54  The silver of the moon.
55  I know well what time will tell
56  Inscribed upon my doom.
57 For once beneath the rowan I took a sacred vow.
58 My life to serve the Lady's will. Her crescent graced my brow.
59 I died beneath the rowan tree defending what I held;
60 The faith of those who followed me. Their faith was never felled.
61  By the rising of the sun.
62  The silver of the moon.
63  I know well what time will tell
64  Inscribed upon my doom.
65 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
66  And now as for that tale..
67  In West Kingdom some years ago, (perhaps 10?) a meeting was being held
68 at an SCAer's house. During a break, someone looked out a window and saw three
69 men trying to force a young woman into a car. He called to others grabbed a 
70 weapon (weapons seem to ALWAYS be at hand in SCA households) and ran out the
71 door.
72  The first thing the men knew they were being surrounded by a man & two women
73 (with more people on the way). To quote Poul Anderson, reporting this in Amra 
74 (a non-SCA fanzine), "The line: 'Unhand that woman' has been used. It proved
75 QUITE effective!" The woman was invited in for refreshments, while the men were
76 marched "at sword, spear, and axe point" to the nearest police station.
77  Another incident in that area, and somewhat later shows an attitude we often
78 encounter. "Hey, look at all the GUYS in DRESSES!" Many medieval outfits do have
79 some resemblance to such, but.....
80  A revel was being held in the auditorium of a school. Some "socially
81 disadvantaged youths" took note of "all the fairies" and decided to "have some 
82 fun".
83  They heaved a rock the size of a basketball THROUGH a wire re-inforced window
84 in one of the doors. (Yes, THROUGH it!) The response of the "fairies" was
85 somewhat different than the "disadvantaged youths" had expected.
86 Every lord in the hall came rushing out the door! The "youths" were captured 
87 about half a block away be some latecomers to the revel. The police were called.
88 When they arrived, they expressed some suprise that the revelers had given 
89 chase to the "youths" (apparently they were part of a "gang"?). Then the 
90 officers took another look at the revelers, this time looking beyond the clothes.
91 Then they shook their heads at the foolishness of the "youths".
92 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
93  A figure appeared before before the Inspector and Serena.  He was dressed in
94 black and his face was masked.
95  "Greetings, Inspector. I'm afraid that you will have to forgo the pleasure of
96 slaying Mckane. He has become something of a nuisance to us. WE shall deal
97 with him."
98  They both protested. Vigorously!
99  "I do not have time to argue with you. Heed my words!" He then seemed to
100 disappear into the shadows. The Inspector saw a scrap of white paper on the 
101 ground. He picked it up and froze. Sereena took it from his hand and then 
102 started to laugh.
103  "The all-seeing pyramid! Leroy has the Illuminati after him." She stopped
104 overcome by laughter.
105  The Inspector said, "If he has THEM after him, he is as good as dead."
106  They headed for a cafe to discuss this new developement.
107 
108 Meanwhile back at the fortress....
109  Guards were posted in the hall outside Mckane's bedroom. More guards paced the
110 lawn outside the doors that opened onto his private terrace. Anyone watching 
111 would have known that there were almost certainly, even more guards hidden from
112 view. Surely this security was impenetrable.
113  Inside the bedroom, a figure appeared out of the shadows. It was totally black,
114 as if it were a shadow come to life. Noiselessly, it approached the bed.
115  A blade appeared in its hand, and flashed towards the head on the
116 pillow. The figure stepped back and melted back into the shadows.....
117 
118 The fortress: 0630 hours....
119  Mckane rolled over and felt something cold and metallic against his cheek. Even
120 in his dissipated state, the old reflexes still worked. He was on his fee, wide 
121 awake with a gun in hand.
122  For a moment he looked as he must have looked in the old days. Then the
123 muscles, unused to such violent action, sent pain shooting thru his body. He 
124 slumped and almost fell.
125  Moving as though walking on eggs, he slowly approached the bed. He saw a knife
126 stuck into the pillow and realized that that was what had awakened him. Then he 
127 saw the note, pinned to the pillow by the blade.....
128 
129 "Mr. Mckane, you have persisted in crossing us. We were willing to
130 leave you alone with your 'primal belch' cult. Then you interefered with our 
131 operations by merging with the Hari Krishnas.
132  We can no longer allow you to interefere. You will step down as head of
133 your 'religion' and sever all connections with it. You will also leave behind 
134 the funds you have 
135 been amassing for your plans. The million in the wall safe should be enough.
136  This is your only warning.
137 
138  The signature was a pair of ideograms. It took Mckane a moment to shake off his
139 aches (and his growing fury) and recall what they meant. 
140  Then it came to him and the fury turned to fear. They weren't ideograms,
141 they were Japanese kana. "Myo" & "di". Myodi, the legendary head of the ninja 
142 clans. Who was rumored to work for the Illuminati.
143 ***************************Jonin************************************************
144 ps. Contremon, I trust I shall see you. Saturday at 2pm, the usual
145 location?
146 ********************************************************************************
147      Hmmmm.  I do believe that 'Figment of the Imagination' could be mentally
148 unbalanced... perhaps even a little crazy... Hmmmm...
149                                        Dr. Frankenstupe
150 _+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+
151 
152 hello
153 
154 
155 how
156 are
157 you
158 ?
159 lI
160 list;
161 000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
162 Bard: sorry about that escape character.  You know how it is with
163 us voyeurs-all we can do is watch; we are terribly ineffectual
164 when trying to participate.
165 I live in Milwaukie, so can you steer me towards someone knowledgeable
166 about Local SCA happenings? Even a group, if they are that structured.
167           Thanks.
168 (now to see if I can get out of enter mode without leaving
169 the usual trail of debris behind...)
170 000000000000000000000000000voyeur000000000000000000000000000000000000
171 ############################################################################
172 Hey!  Dr. Frankentupe!  If you were talking about
173 me your wrong!  If I'm crazy
174 then so are you because I'm just a
175 figment of the imagination!
176            
177      
179 [THE JOKE THAT WAS HERE WAS VERY SICK.  IT IS NOW HEREBY DELETED.]
182  
183 
185  
186    *HA HA*
187    
188  
189 Figment of the imagination saying
190    
191 Later days (or thoughts).
192 ############################################################################
193 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
194 Bruce Wren is no longer going to 
195 Gresham.  But we live on!  Steve Tenhonen
196 and Rich Melo are still wondering why I
197 like this one chick, but I won't say!
198 Actually This is just a waste of time and 
199 space.  But most of you jerks out ther
200 do the same with your stupid stories and
201 subjects!  By the way who is figment of the imagination?
202 
203 
204 Mad Hacker saying: Bye!
205  
206 Hey Dave Engstrom just showed up!
207 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
208 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
209 .......SIGHHHHHHH....................
210 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?DEBORAH?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
211 ========================================================================
212 ...I AGREE, DEBORAH, BUT SOME OF THE TALES KEEP ME COMING BACK...
213                                             EVAN
214 ========================================================================
215 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
216 CISTOP MIKEY,any way to tighten up this system? for that matter,what is this
217 system???
218 Mad Actor,it seems txhat the velour man has passed out,he will be sober 
219 again in about 18 hours.
220 ?   The Man in Gray
221 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
222 -----------------------------------------------------
223 GET THOSE SHOES!
224 
225  More than a hundred years ago the Compiler was a small but excellently published newspaper.  Often its front-page news was
226 days old, and yet for a provincial journal in Civil War times, it reported the nation's events promptly.
227  Reading the issue of June 29, 1863, one learns much about the era.
228  "The prospects of the Democratic Party were never brighter than they are at present," one article says.  Republican Abe
229 Lincoln was then president.
230  Some of the advertisements are fascinating.  One, placed by Tyson Brothers, exclaims: "Eureka! Eureka!  The Excelsior Washer
231 is acknowledged by all wo see it to be the most complete, and without exception, the most perfect Labor-Saving device ever i
232 invented.  Price $8."
233  Another ad, this one placed by the R. F. McIlheny store: "BOOTS AND SHOES comprising Men's fine calf boots, Men's Balmorals,
234 Men's Wellington Boots, Congress Gaiters, Brogans."
235  It was this advertisment that attracted the attention of three Confederate Generals, Ambrose Hill, Henry Heth, and Johnston
236 Pettigrew.  Hill was in charge of the entire Third Corps; Heth and Pettigrew were two division generals serving under him.  
237 The reason that one newspaper ad intrigued the Confederate brass ws that much of the Third Corps, after many months of long 
238 fighting, was now marching barefoot.  They desperately needed footwear, and now they knew where to find it.
239  Heth told Pettigrew to muster his brigade, head for the town where the newspaper was published, and get those shoes.  The
240 town was some eight miles distant.  Pettigrew and his men, about 2,400 infantry, started out in the early morning of the hot,
241 humid thirtieth and returned late that afternoon.  Where was the footwear, General Heth wanted to know?  General Pettigrew 
242 related THE REST OF THE STORY.
243  One the outskirts of town he had seen a small group of Union cavalry; no infantry, although a few of his men had sworn they
244 heard distant drums.  With no cavalry of his own to perform reconnaissance, Pettigrew could only imagine the ultimate strength
245 of the Union forces before him.  He would not gamble with the lives of his troops.  That's why he returned empty-handed.  
246 Sixteen sizzling, suffocating miles of barefoot marching---for nothing.
247  So Generals Heth and Pettigrew met with the commander of the Third Corps, General Hill.  Hill told them to relax.  Both he
248 and General Lee were confident that the only Yankees in the vicinity of the town were the small detachment of reconnaissance 
249 cavalry which Pettigrew had observed.  Pettigrew could have easily wiped them out and returned with the shoes.
250  Immediately Heth spoke up.  Might he have permission to lead his own division over to that shoe store and relieve the
251 proprietor of his stock?
252  General Hill readily granted permission, and the next morning, July 1, General Heth was on his way.
253  It was a complete accident, you see.  No one, neither the Rebs or the Yanks, either anticipated or intended the carnage that
254 followed.  The Confederates, so preoccupied with the advertisement in that small-town newspaper, had utterly miscalculated the
255 size and tenacity of the Union Cavalry, as well as the proximity of the First Corps and the Eleventh Corps.
256  So began the footwear war, a spontaneous three-day holocaust.  And all the Confederates wanted were shoes from the R. F.
257 McIlheny store.
258  In Gettysburg.
259 
260 --------------------------------------------------- P. V. Jeltz --------------
261 **************************************************
262 AGREED, SIGHHHHH.....
263 BUT, THERE IS NO WAY TO "TIGHTEN" UP THE SYSTEM, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU
264 GET AS THEY SAY. I WOULDN'T ANYWAY, AS IT WOULD REMOVE THAT ASPECT WHICH
265 MAKE BWMS WHAT IT IS. THERE IS ALWAYS GREAT HARDSHIP WHEN RUNNING IN
266 THE FRONTIERS AND BWMS IS NO DIFFERENT. ITS OPEN DOOR POLICY ALLOWS IT
267 TO CHANGE AND ADAPT TO THE CURRENT MOOD OF ITS USERS. THIS MEANS IT CAN
268 CHANGE ITS OUTLOOK RADICALLY OVERNIGHT. WHILE THIS HAS CAUSED GREAT 
269 CONCERN FOR SOME WHO ARE CAUGHT UNAWARES BY THE SHIFT AND LEFT HANGING
270 IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR CREATION, IT IS IN THE END REALLY ADVENTAGOUS AS
271 IT KEEPS THINGS MOVING AND PREVENTS STAGNATION. OF COURSE THE MUTABILITY 
272 OF BWMS DOES MAKE THOSE WHO PREFER STABILITY SOMEWHAT UNNERVED BY IT ALL,
273 BUT THOSE WHO ENJOY THE CONTINUOUS CHALANGE OF FOLLOWING ITS WINDING PATH
274 SEEM TO BE QUITE HAPPY WITH IT. OF COURSE AS WITH ALL THINGS OF THIS SORT,
275 YOU HAVE TO EXPECT THE BAD ALONG WITH THE GOOD, BUT BY NOT LIMITING 
276 AGAINST THE BAD (WHAT EVER THAT MAY BE PRECEVED TO BE) YOU ALSO DO NOT
277 LIMIT OUT THE VERY GOOD. THAT IS THE INHERENT PROBLEM WITH LIMITORS,
278 THEY CANNOT DISCRIMINATE BETWEEN GOOD OR BAD. THIS IS BECAUSE GOOD AND
279 BAD ARE RELATIVE CONCEPTS AND THEY CHANGE WITH TIME. INDEED, GOOD CAN
280 OFTEN COME IN THE DISGUISE OF BAD, SO YOU INADVERTENTLY LOCK IT OUT.
281 THOMAS EDISON HAD THIS PROBLEM, HE NEVER FELT THAT "AC" WAS A GOOD
282 WAY TO TRANSMIT ELECTRICITY. HE WAS STUCK WITH THE IDEA THAT "DC" WAS
283 THE BEST WAY TO PROVIDE POWER. AS A RESULT HE WAS NEVER ABLE TO 
284 EFFECTIVELY EXPLOYT THE POTENTIAL OF "AC" POWER TRANSMISSION, AND 
285 MISSED OUT ON SOME VERY MAJOR THINGS IN THE FIELD. AND NICOLA TESLA
286 MADE THE MONEY INSTEAD. UNFORTUNATLY TESLA WASN'T TOO GOOD AT HADLING
287 MONEY, AND HE BLEW IT ALL ON HIS EXPERIMENTS. HE DIED A POOR MAN 
288 ALMOST UNKNOWN. WESTINGHOUSE DID TAKE PITTY ON HIM THOUGH AND PROVIDED
289 HIM ROOM AND BOARD THE REMAINDER OF HIS LIFE. THEIR REASON FOR DOING
290 SO WAS BECAUSE HE HAD SOLD THEM THE RIGHTS TO HIS "AC" PATENTS. BY 
291 THE WAY, NICOLA NEVER DID FORGIVE EDISON FOR OBSTRUCTING HIS WORK.
292 IF IT WASN'T FOR GEORGE WESTINGHOUSES WILLINGNESS TO TAKE A RISK
293 ON A NEW AND DIFFERENT CONCEPT WE COULD BE USING "DC" POWER TODAY.
294 ************************* CISTOP MIKEY *****************************
295 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
296 Bard, (I assume it was you who asked about the Rowan 
297 tree, it was difficult to tell.) PAM did speek of
298 a hawthorne several times, but it was indeed a Rowan
299 that she planted outside the Inn before she left on
300 her long jorney. To use it as an anchor of stability
301 to mark her eventual return.
302 +++++++++++++++++++ I.S. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++
303 
304 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
305 MIKEY: GOOD POINT! IT IS ADVANTAGEOUS TO ALLOW ALL INPUT, I'LL NOT
306 READILY COMPLAIN AGAIN. THE VARIETY IS REFRESHING. JUST THINK, YOUR
307 BUSH IS PROBABLY BLOCKING A MAJOR WATER SYSTEM SOMEWHERE IN S.E
308 PORTLAND. ALL IS NOT LOST.
309 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!DEBORAH?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
310 NO, ONLY THE BUSH! (BUT THEN THE BEAVER KNOWS WHERE THAT IS!)
311 ***********************************************************************
312 hello?
313 anyobody there/|
314 stipid system
315 off
316 exit
317 
318 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 
319      A lone figure aproaches the Inn.   Passing the sturdy  Rowan 
320 tree that grows outside the Inn,  he notices that though it shows 
321 signs of batterment,  it still grows strong and proud.   Stepping 
322 thru  the doors he notices that the righthand door is broken.   A 
323 shame  he thinks that this would happen to such  a  place.   Upon 
324 entering   he  looks  about  apparently  searching  for  someone.  
325 Obviously  not  finding  the one he seeks,  his  held  breath  is 
326 released  with  a  heavy sigh.   Looking again about the  Inn  he 
327 notices the intense disarray of the Inn.   It seems that in  PAMs 
328 absense  the Innkeeper has done little to keep the Inn in  shape.  
329 Though  it  could  be just that things have been a bit  rowdy  of 
330 late,  who is to tell when one is not there to see?   Moving thru 
331 the jumble of broken tables and chairs,  he pauses and obtains  a 
332 mug  of  ale from the Innkeeper.   With an inquirying look at  he 
333 backroom he looks back at the Innkeeper,  but the Innkeeper  just 
334 shakes his head no, "Emer has not shown since when last you left.  
335 She  did however ask of you before she left concern in her  voice 
336 over your dark mood.  Then took off as if someone had set fire to 
337 her  britches."  Tarn thanked the Innkeeper for the  information, 
338 and  tossing him a silver coin asked him to let Emer know that he 
339 was  here if he saw her.  With that Tarn picked his way thru  the 
340 littered mess of the Inn towards the small room in the back which 
341 though once was used for storrage had now been converted for  his 
342 odd  habit of not wanting to be in the midst of the Inn for  fear 
343 of  getting  hurt in one of the many brawls that always  seem  to 
344 occur, yet not wanting to miss the things that go on, or possibly 
345 miss the enterance of his dear friend Emer.   Hopeing that if  he 
346 waited  long enough that she would show up after a  time.  Easing 
347 down  at the old familar table,  he breaths a sigh,  relaxes  and 
348 prepares himself for the indeterminate wait.                      
349                             * Tarn *                              
350 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 
351 
352 ######################################
353 Hey!  Everyone on this system seems to be
354 down in the dumps!  I didn't mean to offend
355 anyone by my tasteless jokes, just
356 thought I'STING' into
357 this system.
358 I also like a change.  I like to be a Leberal close to
359 radicalism!
360         
361       
369 [UTTERLY TASTELESS.]
370    
371 Figment of the imagination signing off.
372 ######################################
373 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
374 FIGMENT: IF YOU HAVE CHOSEN THAT NAME TO SPITE ME, PLEASE DESIST! IF NOT
375   PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOU CALL YOURSELF THAT.
376   ALSO PLEASE IDENTIFY THE SOURCE OF YOUR MATERIAL(IE. TRULY TASTELESS JOKES
377   TO AVOID PLAGARISM.
378 
379 AN INTERESTING QUESTION CAME TO MIDND TODAY:
380      WHERE IS BACKWATER INN????
381 WE KNOW IT IS NEAR A STREAM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST.
382 THIS FOREST IS CLOSE TO A SEA PORT.
383 THE CLIMATE IS FAIR, WITH MOSTLY SUN BUT SOMETIMES A LITTLE RAIN.
384 IT IS A PLACE WHERE A ROWAN TREE CAN GROW WELL.
385 IT IS FAIRLY SECLUDED AND NOT KNOWN TO MANY.
386 
387 A GOOD START, HOW ABOUT SOME MORE INFORMATION?
388 FOR EXAMPLE, TIME. IT APPEARS TO BE MIDDLE AGES PERIOD, EXCEPT FOR THE
389 USE OF TOW MISSILES  AND THE PRESENSE OF THE ILLUMNATI.
390 WHAT ABOUT ANIMALS. THERE APPEARS TO BE BEAVERS(THE INNKEEPERS PET), BUT
391 WHAT OTHER LIFE EXISTS HERE?
392 LET'S HERE SOME MORE DEFINITION OF THE LOCATION!!!!
393                                                    JONATHAN CHANCE
394 
395 P.S. P.V. JELTZ:  THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION!
396 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
397 ######################################
398 Hey!  Jonathan Chance!
399   For one:  Not all of my jokes came from
400 the book Truly Tasteless Jokes!
401 Two:  I use the name figment of the imagination because
402 I once thought that of other people (I.E. They were my imagination).
403 But I never thought that I could be such.
404   
405 The thought of being a figment of someones imagination is
406 interesting.    
407     
408    
409     Well, NO joke this time.
410  
411 
412 Figment of the imagination.
413 ######################################
414 Fig.:
415     From the bottom of my (admittedly small) heart, I thank you.
416 I also agree with the above statement that things have been a bit down 
417 in the Inn lately. In that much I agree with thee, Oh Imaginary Fig; 
418 humor may be helpful...then again...
419 P.S.--let the children have their fun. The immature ones will find nothing
420 of interest here and soon leave. The best will stay and improve the brew.
421          Per Aspera Ad Astra,
422                && The Mad Actor &&
423 P.P.S.--The Inn may indeed be pinned down to a particular location, butt
424 I prefer to think of it as a genuine trans-reality tavern, able to show
425 up wherever and whenever it's needed most. Except when the phone's busy.
426                && TMA &&
427 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
428 Grasping the back of the chair his friend the bard had obtained, the piper
429 regained a more secure seat.  
430   My thanks!  It sometimes seems that as a newborn on this plane, I lack
431 coordination as well as good sense.  
432 
433   Mad actor:  the land containing the inn is sometimes known as Innisfall,
434 sometimes by other less known names.  The inn seems to keep a reasonably
435 fixed geographical position, but wander through alternate frames of reality.
436 
437 In truth, reality is simply a bit more mutable here than in the mundane
438 world that our alter-egos inhabit.  The members of the SCA show more courage
439 than many such as I who seem to need the anonymity of the inn to express
440 other facets of our personalities.  
441 Inkeeper:  I fully agree that keeping an open door policy is the most 
442 rational method of dealing with this motley crew.  I watched and lurked
443 for a long time before joining.  I may retire as a participant at times, 
444 but will attempt to keep current as possible.
445 
446 The piper picked his way through the debris (he hadn't noticed it before,
447 but someone has changed reality slightly) and bent to the small door of
448 the back room where he had recently seen a figure enter.  He called within
449 "Sir -- are you quite aright?  You seem gloomy and depressed and perhaps
450 some conversation or a tune would improme your mood."
451 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
452 Piper:  To shift reference frames slightly, here is an SCA tale that is better
453 told from a slightly more mundane viewpoint than the previous tales.
454  First, I will explain a few details of SCA combat. We may have steel
455 weapons for show (and know how to use them!), but in tourneys we use weapons
456 that are somewhat less lethal! They are made of rattan, a woody relative of 
457 bamboo. It is NOT hollow. Weapon requirements state that it must be more
458 than 1 inch in dia. (to avoid weapons slipping thru the eyeslots in helms).
459  So basicly, we are out there wearing armor and bashing each other with
460 sticks. This is at least as safe as tackle football, but not much safer!
461 I have seen many a dent put in a helm (16 gauge steel plate) by one of these
462 "sticks".
463  At a tourney in California, we were paid what some consider a
464 high compliment by another famous organization. Some Hell's Angels saw the 
465 fighters out on the field and stopped to watch. After one hard-fought duel,
466 the fighters involved walked past the bikers. One said to the other, "Come on
467 over to my pavilion, I've got some beers on ice."
468  A biker asked someone, "Hey, man. They were just out there trying to
469 bust each other's head. Now they're gonna have some drinks? What's goin' on?"
470  "Oh, they're friends."
471  "But it looked like they was tryin' ta KILL each other!"
472  "Oh no, we do this for fun."
473  "FUN!!", says the biker, "You guys are CRAZY!"
474 
475  We consider this one of the highest compliments the SCA has ever recieved!
476 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
477 Voyeur:  You (and anyone else in the Portland area) are in the
478 Barony of Three Mountains. The Seneschal is Peter Blackbeard, (mundane name:
479 Peter Nilsson), Portland, OR 97201.
480  You might also check with the College of Gryphonsward (Reed College SCA)
481 Seneschal: Alfiriel  (Ellen Eades)
482              
483   Portland, OR 97202
484   
485 
486 (Sorry, but I don't have a farspeaker rune for Peter Blackbeard!)
487 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
488 WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF ANYONE HAS KNOWLEDGE OF BULLETIN BOARD IN OR USING SALEM
489 PREFIXES----PLEASE LEAVE MESSAGE ANY INFO APPRTEC    APPRECIATED THANKS TT
490 OFF
491 
492 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
493 through my desire for disk space saving the tale of my daughter and I has finish
494 ed drive b
495    The Man in Gray
496 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
497 ######################################
498 Hey!  How man Physiciatrist does it
499 take to change a light bulb?
500   
501   
502     *1, but the light bulb really has to
503 want to change!*
504  
505  
506      *HA  HA*
507   
508 
509 
510 Figment of the imagination once again!
511 ######################################
512 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
513 that's psycologist, figment.
514      Bo
515 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
516 Dr. Frankenstupe:
517          Oh goody. Are you another man of science to show up here at the inn.
518 Maybe sometime we could discuss my theory of the true nature of the primal burp.
519 To all:
520          I think the inn will pull through. The sigh-inflicters get bored soon.
521 Well, keep the stories coming and have a nice evening.
522                 Dr. Buck
523 ######################################
524 HEY!  This Sigh-Inflicter is sick
525 of you people!  
526 Most of you peoplem are worse than me.
527 You take up so much space, and put nothing
528 but crap into your messages.
529 While I on the other hand take up very little
530 space with the same amount of crap.
531 So quit your griping!
532 
533 
534 
535  Figment of the imagination
536 ######################################
537 Yes Figment, but you are indeed the cause of many a busy signal, as evidence
538 I offer the large number of messages you leave. 
539 M.I.G.  Check LN -1 on DB.  wetting my appatite ?  That was too much.
540 
541 
542 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
543 to the above rock pisser,I realise that my grammar is not the greatest around 
544 but youdo not have`to nit-pick everything I spell wrong!! you do not also have
545 to deface my messages either! if you do not like it`then do not read it.and may
546 I suggest that you use a commode made from solid sodium in an oxygen filled room
547 sometime.
548    The Man in Gray
549 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
550 
551 *****************************************************************
552 DEBORAH: ON THE OTHER HAND, IT CAN GET A BIT TIRSOME AT TIMES
553 YOU WOULD THINK THAT SOME WOULD HAVE AT LEAST A REASONABLE 
554 COMMAND OF THE LANGAUGE TO BE ABLE TO GET THEIR POINT ACROSS
555 IN A REASONABLE FORM (WHATEVER THAT MAY BE). WE SEEM TO BE
556 OVERCROWDED WITH BARBARIANS.
557 ******************* CISTOP MIKEY *****************************
558 NO PAM YET, SIGH.......
559 **************************************************************:
560 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
561 Hey figment!  
562        Do you know how many Michael Jacksons can fit in a Volkswagon?
563 ?
564 ?
565 ?
566      Five!  Two in the back, Two in the front and ONE in the ASHTRAY!!
567             ha*ha*ha*ha*
568 
569 
570 da
571 exit
572 help
573 off
574 Figment:
575       Since you are so concerned with crap, I have come to the conclusion 
576 that you may have an anal-retentive personality.  See your local plumber
577 at once!!!  Hmmm...
578 Dr. Buck:
579      I've heard of primal scream and rolfing, but primal burb seems to have
580 escaped me.  Isn't Leroy McKane mixed up in that?  Hmmm...
581                                       Dr. Frankenstupe
582 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+
583 
584 ==================================================================
585    EVER THINK ABOUT WHO WE ARE TALKING TO, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT WE
586 TEND TO GAIN IMPRESSIONS OF THE PEOPLE ENTERING THE MESSAGES BY
587 WHAT THEY WRITE. AND THIS DOES LEAD TO SOME INTERESTING 
588 IDEAS ABOUT WHO WE ARE TALKING TO. WHEN WE MEET SOMEONE FACE TO FACE 
589 WE IMMEDIATELY KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BY HOW THEY LOOK, HERE IT IS QUITE
590 DIFFERENT, A GREAT EQUALIZER IN MANY WAYS, YOU ONLY SEE WHATS IN 
591 THIER MIND, NOT ANY OTHER 'DISTRACTIONS'.
592 
593    FROM THE TALES OF THE SCA I GET A FEW SCRAPS OF INFORMATION ANBOUT IT
594 BUT FOR US RELATIVE NEWCOMERS COULD YOU REAPEAT THE SOME BASIC BACKGROUND
595 ABOUT IT.
596 
597    WHO IS PAM????
598 
599 HMMMM... I DO SEEM TO GET SERIOUS AROUND MIDNIGHT.
600 
601 MUST SEE ABOUT GETTING MY LOWERCASE INTO OPERATION ON THE MODEM.
602                                            EVAN
603 ====================================================================
604 ######################################
605 HEY!  Did anyone hear about the car accident
606 where the driver had his entire left side
607 cut off?
608  
609 
610 
611 
612    *He's all 'RIGHT' now*
613        ****************************************************
614        ***  NOW PLAYING----AT THIS LOCATION !!!!!!     ****
615        ***     ----  THE VILLAGE IDIOT  ---- Starring  ****
616        ***      THE ORIGINAL CAST OF ONE               ****
617        ****************************************************
618 This is just another of the 'MANY' messages from:
619 
620 
621 Figment of the imagination!
622 
623 By the way, I'd rather have to take a
624 little bit of crap at a time as apposed to
625 a whole pile of it at once!
626 ######################################
627 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-
628 Either way, I think you'll get it.
629           Bo -=-=-=-=-=-

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