                             *                          

                   THE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION
                   tune: "Old Time Religion"

       (Chorus): Give me that real old time religion (3X)
                 It's good enough for me!

We will have a mighty orgy        We will sacrifice to Yuggoth
in the honour of Astarte          we will sacrifice to Yuggoth
it'll be a mighty party           Burn a candle for Yog-Soggoth
and it's good enough for me!      and the Goat With a Thousand Young!

We will all be saved by Mithras       If your rising sign is Aries
We will all be saved by Mithras       You'll be taken by the Fairies
slay the Bull and play the zithras    Meet the Buddah in Benares
on that Resurrection Day!             where he'll hit you with a pie!

I hear Valkyries a-comin                There are people into Voodoo
In the air their song is comin          there are people into Voodoo
They forgot the words! They're hummin!  I know I do, I hope you do!
But they're good enough for me!         and it's good enough for me!

We will venerate Bubastis             We will read from the Kabahlah
We will venerate Bubastis             We will read from the Kabahlah
If you want in, then just ast us!     It won't get us to Valhalla
'cause that's good enough for me!     But it's good enough for me!

We will all bow down to Enlil       There are some who practice Shinto
We will all bow down to Enlil       there are some who practice Shinto
Pass your Cup and get a refill!     there's no telling what WE'RE into!
With bold Gilgamesh the Brave!      but that's good enough for me!

We will all see Aphrodite               We will all sing Hare Krishna
Though she's pretty wild and flighty    We will all sing Hare Krishna
She will meet us in her nightie         It's not mentioned in the Mishna
And she's good enough for me!           But it's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Loki         We will all go to Nirvana
It was good enough for Loki         We will all go to Nirvana
He thinks Thor's a little hokey     Make a left turn at Urbana
and that's good enough for me!      And you'll see the Promised Land!

Here's to those who copy Conan    There will be a lot of lovin
Here's to those who copy Conan    when we're meetin in our Coven
They're just Followers of Onan    Quit yer pushin and yer shovin
and that's good enough for me!    So there's room enough for me!

We will have a mighty Party           It was good enough for Sappho
In the honor of Astarte               With her lady on her lap-o
Grab your chiton - don't be tardy     She put Lesbos on the map-o
'Cause she's good enough for me!      With her pagan poetry!

Shall we sing a verse for Venus,    Well the Christians all are humming
Of the Gods she is the meanest,     Cause they say their God is coming,
Cause she bit me on my...elbow      Our God came three times this evening
And it's good enough for me.        And that's good enough for me.

20 verses                      (more)    

2
   "That Real Old-Time Religion" (Extra verses)
   
We will worship like the Druids,      Some guys have a circumcision
Drinking strange fermented fluids,    On account of their religion,
Running naked through the woo-ids,    An embarrassing incision
Coz that's good enough for me.        Cut just ENOUGH from me!   

We will sing a verse for Loki       It was good for old Jehovah
He's the old Norse god of Chaos     He had a son who was a nova!
Which is why this verse don't       Hey there, Mithras! Move on ova'!
       rhyme or scan or nothin'     Another resurrection Day!
But it's good enough for me...

It was good for Thor and Odin       It could be that you're a Parsi
It was good for Thor and Odin       It could be that you're a Parsi
Grab an axe and get your woad on!   Don't need a ticket; you get in free
and it's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

Azahoth is in his Chaos         Just like Carlos Castenada
Azahoth is in his Chaos         Just like Carlos Castenada
Now if only he don't sway us    It'll get you sooner or later
That is good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!

If you think that you'll be sav-ed   Jerry Falwell thinks he's sav-ed
If you think that you'll be sav-ed   In a lamb's blood he's been lav-ed
If you follow Mogen David            And HE thinks that I'M deprav-ed
Then that's good enough for me!      But that's good enough for me...  

We will sing to Lady Isis           We will all bow down to Dagon
She'll stand by us in a crisis      We will all bow down to Dagon
And She hasn't raised Her prices    He still votes for Ronald Reagan
And She's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

There are those who, when they've got e-
Normous problems that are knotty
They just take them to Hecate         Thanks to great Quetzacoatl
And that's good enough for me!        And his sacred axolotl
                                      And his gift of chocolatl
Was a time, so I've heard tell, a     And please pass some down to me!
Fine and promising young fella
Gave his all to serve Cybele
But that's damn well not for me!

Well, she raised an awful flurry      When old Gerald got it goin'
When she made the scholars worry      When old Gerald got it goin'
Thank the Gods for Margaret Murray!   All that hidin' turned to showin'
She is good enough for me!            And that's good enough for me!

We'll sing praises to Apollo          When we all bowed down to Nuit
Where the Sun-God leads, I'll follow  There was really nothin' to it 
From Ionia to Gaul-o                  (Alex Sanders made me do it...)
And that's good enough for me!        But that's good enough for me!

Let us sing the praise of Horus    We went off to worship Venus
As our fathers did before us       By the Gods! You should have seen us!
We're the New Egyptian Chorus      Now the Clinic has to screen us...
And we sing in harmony!            But that's good enough for me!

41 verses                    (more)

3
  "That Real Old Time Religion:" Extra Verses

It was good enough for Granny        It's not good enough for Reagan
She could throw a double-whammy      It's not good enough for Reagan
That would knock you on your fanny   He's too square to be a Pagan!
And she's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

We will gather at our saunas       Meeting at the Witching Hour
When the spirit comes upon us      By the Bud, and Branch and Flower 
To perform the Rites of Faunus     Folks are raising up the Power
And that's good enough for me!     And that's where I want to be!

We will worship mighty Cthulhu     In the sky I hear a hummin'
H. P. Lovecraft's big old hoodoo   It's the UFO's a-comin'
(1930's fiction voodoo....)        That's not banjos that they're strummin'
But that's good enough for me!     But it's good enough for me!

Oh the Phillistines abound          Oh we all will follow Buddah
Oh the Phillistines abound          Oh we all will follow Buddah
They had the biggest Baals around   And we'll eat no food but Gouda
And that's good enough for me!      Which is Gouda-nuff for me

Oh, our Spirits will awaken      We'll sing praises to Apollo;
Oh, our Spirits will awaken      Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
Watch the Universe a-quakin'     ('Though his head's a little hollow) -
Which is Gurdijeff to me!        He's good enough for me!

Let us raise a toast to Bacchus,      We will worship Great Cthulhu,
We will raise a royal ruckus,         We will worship Great Cthulhu,
Then we'll lay us down and f**k us    And we'll feed him Mr. Sulu
That's good enough for me.            'Cause that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Buddha,      We all worshipped Dionysus
As a god he's kinda cute-a,         'Till we ran into a crisis -
And he comes in brass or pewta'     The bar had raised its prices;
So he's good enough for me!         That's not good enough for me.

Uncle Crowley was a dreamer         We will go and sing "Hosanna"
At the Abbey of Thelemer            To our good ol' pal, Gautama,
But his magic is a screamer,        He will never flim or flam ya',
So it's good enough for me.         And that's good enough for me!

Oh we'll all be Fundamental       When the clouds they are a'rumbling 
And be Holy Testamental           And the thunder is a'grumbling,        
And never Trancendental           Then it's Crowley that you're mumbling, 
And that's good enough for me!    And it's good enough for me! 

There are some that call it folly     Shall we sing a verse for Thor,
When we worship Mother Kali.          Though he leaves the maidens sore?
She may not be very jolly             They always come back for more,
But she's good enough for me.         So he's good enough for me!

Shall we sing in praise of Loki,      It was good enough for Odin
Though he left poor Midgard smokey?   Though the tremblin' got forbodin'
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey,       Then the giants finally strode in,
But he's good enough for me.          But it's good enough for me.

63 verses                     ( more )


4
  "That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

Montezuma liked to start out             There's that lusty old Priapus 
Rites by carrying a part out             He's just itching to unwrap us.
That would really tear your heart out,   (He'd do more to us than tap us
But it's good enough for me!             And that's good enough for me!)

We will all bow down to Allah     Where's the gong gone? I can't find it
For he gave his loyal follow      I think Northwoods is behind it!
Ers the mighty petro-dollah       For they've always been cymbal-minded
And that's good enough for me!    And they're good enough for me!

I was singing Hari Rama              We will pray with those Egyptians
With my friend the Dalai Lama        Build pyramids to put our crypts in
'Til they dumped us in the slammer   Cover subways with inscriptions,
But that's good enough for me        which is good enough for me.....!

One-eyed Odin we will follow      We will pray to Zarathustra
And in fighting we will wallow    And we'll pray just like we usta
Till we wind up in Valhallow      I'm a Zarathustra boosta!
Which is good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

Hare Krishna gets a laugh on         I'll arise at early mornin'
When he sees me dressed in saffron   When the Sun gives me the warnin'
With my hair that's only half on     That the Solar Age is dawnin'
But that's good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

We will sing a verse for Eris           Of Great Murphy much is spoken
(Golden apples for the fairest!)        For his Law shall not be broken
Though she sometimes likes to scare us  It's not pretty when he's woken
But she's good enough for me!           Things go wrong for you and me!
 
We will sing for great Diana         If your god of choice is Squat
Who will teach of love and honor     Well then trendy, man, you're not -
But you really gotta wanna!          But you'll get a parking spot!
'Cause she's tough enough for me!    And that's good enough for me!

We will venerate Bubastis            Call Him God, or call him Allah
'Cause my cat walked up and ast us   The priest will take your dollah
(Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!)     Easy living from -your- follah-
But it's good enough for me!         -wers, but sorry, -not- from me!

I'll sing some songs to Lilith,      Now Danae was sweet as flowers,
Not so young, and not so girlish,    She was into golden showers;
and She's always PMS-ish,            And that showed her Zeus' power
but She's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!       
 
And what about this Bacchus,         Diana is a little spikey
Who lives just to raise a ruckus?    And she is a little dyke-ey
Loosens women so they'll f*** us,    You don't have to be a Psych-e
Well, that's good enough for me!     To know that's right for me!

Lilith wears a lacy nightie        That Bob Larson shrieks and hollers
And She is a little flighty        Fighting demons in his callers
She will get you all excite-y      Save his program: SEND YOUR DOLLARS! 
She's wet-dream enough for me!     And that's good enough for me.              


85 verses                       (more)

5
  "That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

With the aid of my athame           Well I'm tired of Ronald Reagan,
I can throw a "double-whammy"       He's too square to be a pagan,
(And can slice and dice salami!)    Let's all vote for Carl Sagan!
So it's good enough for me.         He's good enough for me.
 
We will worship with the Fundies       L. Ron Hubbard liked precision
With their itchy hair-shirt undies     And he founded a religion
If they don't bring "Mrs. Grundy,"     That has caught a lot of pigeons
Then it's good enough for me!          And it's good enough for me!

We will worship Holy Ford              We will worship with the witches
Beta, Delta, Gamma, Lord               'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches
But the Alphas might get bored         And they scratch us where it itches
A Brave New World for you and me!      And that's good enough for me!

There are those who follow Crowley     Some folks pray to the Orishas
Tho the stuff that he held holy        Tho their humor can be vishas
Turn your your brain to guacamole      When they grant your stupid wishas
But he's good enough for me!           But they're good enough for me!

There are those who scream and hollar  There are those who worship Satan
And get hot under the collar           And are just anticipatin'
For their god, Almighty Dollar,        Armageddon's conflagratin'
Who is good enough for me!             That ain't good enough for me!

There are those who worship no gods     Some folks worship the Kachinas
For they think that there are low odds  Some folks worship the Kachinas
That the god-seers aren't drunk sods    They look like "deus ex machinas",
But they're good enough for me!         But they're good enough for me!

Some folks worship all of Nature            We will read from the Cabala.
Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher        Quote the Tree of Life mandala
They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher  It won't get you in Valhalla,
And they're good enough for me!             Yet it's good enough for me.

Some folks pray to the Great Spirit   There is room enough in Hades
Most folks just cannot get near it    For lots of criminals and shadies
So they hate it and they fear it      And disreputable ladies,
But it's good enough for me!          And they're good enough for me.

To the tune of Handel's "Largo"      Praise to Popacatapetl
We will hymn the gods of cargo       Just a tiny cigarette'll
'Til they slap on an embargo         Put him in terrific fettle
And that's good enough for me.       So he's good enough for me.

We will drive up to Valhalla         We will all bow to Hephaestus
Riding Beetles, not Impalas          As a blacksmith he will test us
Singing "Deutschland Uber Alles"     'Cause his balls are pure asbestos
And that's good enough for me.       So he's good enough for me.

We will sing of Iluvatur,             We will sing of Foul the Render,
Who sent the Valar 'cross the water   Who's got Drool Rockworm on a bender
To lead Morgoth to the slaughter      In his cave in Kiril Threndor--
And that's just fine with me.         They're both too much for me.


108 verses                  (more)

6
  "That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

We will sing the Jug of Issek,         Of Lord Shardik you must beware;
And of Fafhrd his chief mystic,        To please him you must swear;
Though to thieving Mouser will stick,  'Cause enraged he's a real Bear,
And that's good enough for me.         And that's good enough for me.

You can dance and wave the thyrsos     Let us celebrate Jehovah
And sing lots of rowdy verses          Who created us "ab ova"
Till the neighbors holler curses,      He'll be on tonight on Nova
And that's good enough for me.         'cause he's good enough for me.

We will go to worship Zeus           Let us sing to old Discordia
Though his morals are quite loose    'Cause it's sure she's never bored ya
He gave Leda quite a goose           And if she's good enough for ya
And he's good enough for me.         Then she's good enough for me.

We will sing a song of Mithras       Let us sing to Lord Cthuhlu
Let us sing a song of Mithras        Don't let Lovecraft try to fool you
But there is no rhyme for Mithras!   Or the Elder Gods WILL rule you
Still he's good enough for me.       And that's good enough for me.

We will go to worship Kali           Let's all listen up to Jesus
She will help us in our folly        He says rich folks like old Croesus
She'd be quite an armful, golly!     Will be damned until Hell freezes
And she's good enough for me.        And that don't sound good to me.

Let us watch Ka.ka.pa.ull            Let us do our thing for Eris
Frolic in her swimming pool          Goddess of the discord there is
Subjecting chaos to her rule         Apple's golden, it's not ferrous
And that's all right with me         And that's good enough for me

Of the Old Ones, none is vaster
Even Cthulhu's not his master
I refer to the unspeakable *-----*  (well, do YOU want to say it?)
and that's good enough for me

Let us worship old Jehovah          Let us sing for Brujaria
All you other gods move ovah        Though the blood's a lot less cleaner
Cause the one God's takin' over     It's not Christian Santaria
And it's good enough for me         So it's good enough for me

Timmy Leary we will sing to         We will worship Sun Myung Moon
And the things that he was into     Though we know he is a goon.
(Well, at least it wasn't Shinto)   All our money he'll have soon.
And that's good enough for me.      And that's good enough for me.

We will pray to Father Zeus         We will go down to the temple,
In his temple we'll hang loose      Sit on mats woven of hemp(le),
Eating roast beef au jus,           Try to set a good exemple [sic],
And that's good enough for me.      And that's good enough for me.

We will finally pray to Jesus,      We will all go to Nirvana
From our sins we hope he frees us,  So be sure to mind your manners
Eternal life he guarantees us,      Make a left turn at Savannah
And that's good enough for me.      And we'll see the Promised Land.


129 verses                  (more)

7
  "That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

There are people into voodoo        There are followers of Conan.
Africa has raised a hoodoo          And you'll never hear 'em groaning
Just one little doll will do you    Followed Crom up to his throne(in)
And it's good enough for me.        And it's good enough for me

We all worship Aphrodite,             Now watch out for the Maya's,
and Her sister bold Astarte,          They might really try to fry ya,
They both throw a pretty good party,  Sacrifice people not papaya's,
And that's just fine with me!         Just as long as its not me!

Let us praise the Holy Fool           Don't neglect that shrine of Zeus'
For he's breaking all the rules       Tho he's lost his vital juices
Holds you up to ridicule,             The old boy still has his uses
And that's good enough for me!        And he's good enough for me!

There's one thing that I do know      No one wrote a verse for Buddah
Zeus' favorite is Juno                Tho I think they really coulda
She's the best at doing..you know!    And I really think they shoulda
And that's good enough for me!        'Cause he's good enough for me!

Tho J.C.'s into fish, too,            Anytime that I start hearin'
He's an avatar of Vishnu              "Jesus loves you" I start leerin'
So he is welcome here, too,           Maybe so, but not like Brian 
And that's good enough for me!        Which is good enough for me!

All the Gods tore into Loki           If you're really into dancing
Saying Deicide is hokey!              And you wanna try some trancing
And they threw him in the pokey!      Then the Voodoo gods are prancing
And that's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

If you wanna worship Odin             Good old Thor's the god of thunder
You don't have to have a coat on      Really helps us get our plunder
Grab a sword and slap some woad on    Tho his head's still truly dunder
And that's good enough for me!        He is good enough for me!

I don't really go for Shinto          And for those who follow Cthulhu
It's just something I'm not into      We have really got a lulu:
Tho I guess I could begin to          Drop a bomb on Honolulu!
'Cause it's good enough for me!       'Cause that's good enough for you!

Well it's good enough for H*****      Let's all drink to Dionysus
He's a mighty kinky master            Wine and women beyond prices!
When you pray he goes much faster     He made a Maenad out of my Sis!
And that's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

Let us dance with Dionysus            The late return of the Prophet Zarquon
And get drunk on wine and spices      Caused his followers to hearken
The Christians call them "vices"      As the Universe went dark on
But they're good enough for me!       All of you and me!

Let us note the might of Ils          We'll invoke the blessed Camber
With a thousand or more quills        And the Unicorn of Amber
By the light that from him spills     And the wizard Deliamber
He is good enough for me!             They're good enough for me!

151 verses                    (more)
 

8
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

When we worship Bacchus           We will venerate old Bacchus
The ethanol will sock us          Drinking beer and eating tacos
We'll all get good and raucous    Til you've tried it please don't knock us
And that's good enough for me!    'Cause it's good enough for me!

When you worship Rusto             Warriors for Allah
Treat your friends with lust-o     Are sure to have a gala
Pursue youyr faith with gusto!     Time in old Valhalla
And that's good enough for me!     And that's good enough for me!

They revered ancient ENIAC          In the halls of Frey and Freyja
And sacrificed to UNIVAC            All the priestesses will lay ya
Now we sing our chants on VAX pack  If you're good enough, they'll pay ya!
And that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Cupid        Let us worship sweet Eninni
It was good enough for Cupid        Let us worship sweet Eninni
His wings look kind of stupid       In a skimpy string bikini
But that's good enough for me!      And that's good enough for me!

In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome    Well Dimuzi's on vacation
But he's not at home too often         He'll be back when spring awakens
Spends all his time in Annwyfn         There will be such recreaction
And that's good enough for me!         There will be enough for me!

In his dancing Pan will lead them       Pan's pipes got plugged last summer
When his pipes call we will heed them   And it really was a bummer
In truth tho, he don't need them        Finally had to call a plumber!
He's more than enough for me!           But he's good enough for me!

We will venerate old Hermes            We will worship now with vigor
With his staff entwined with wormies   The goddess known as Frigga
Warding off the nasty germies          Tho there are some who don't dig her
And that's good enough for me!         She is good enough for me!

I pray to Ahura-Mazda                  Let us all now worship Ra
He's one god who sure won't pause ta   And take care of our Ka
Pound some heads when given cause ta   We'll all sit round and go "Ah-h-h!"
Which is good enough for me!           Which is good enough for me!

We will all do praise to Horus       Here's an invitation for us
In an old Egyptian chorus            All to go and worship Horus
If there's something in it for us    Doff your clothes and join the chorus
Then it's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

As the goddess Kali dances           Oh the ancient goddess Nerthus
With her worshippers in trances      From herself the Earth did birth us
You can learn some Hindu stances     And I wonder: are we worth us?
And that's good enough for me!       But she's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Venus           We will sing our staves to Venus
She'd have sighed if she'd of seen us  We will sing our staves to Venus
Letting morals come between us         Tho I think this rhyme is henious
And she's good enough for me!          But it's good enough for me!

173 verses                     (more)


9
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

Let us call an Elemental        We will all bow down to Gozer
For a temporary rental          Priestess did it with that Joser
Just as long as it is gentle    Cross the streams, and there she goes, sir!
It is good enough for me!       And that's good enough for me!

We will worship with Poseidon             In matters Dianetic
We will meet him when the tide's in       You need not get frenetic
All the maidens he will ride in           Make your Engrams copacetic
Then he'll give 'em all to me!            And that's good enough for me!

All the hunters start convergin'      And to help things get real racous
When Diana is emergin'                The priests of Pan and Bacchus
It's too bad she's still a virgin     Will hold a f***ing contest!
But there's still hope left for me!   And that's all right with me!

We will got to worship Lillith          If you get too tired
Grab your cup, step up and fill it      And you need to get up higher
Tho 'ware she don't make you spill it!  Just have Pele light your fire!
And that's good eonough for me!         From her island in the sea!

Quetzacoatl's flyin'                  Drink to FUFLUNS he's just fine
With the Toltec and the Mayan         The Etruscan god of wine
And the mushrooms he's been buyin'    This verse doesn't really rhyme
Are good enough for me!               But it's good enough for me!

We will worship Christian Jesus       You can keep your saints with halos,
And do just like John Paul pleases    Your hosannas or dayenus:
That we will... when Hades freezes!   Let's throw virgins in volcanos!
And that's good enough for me!        And that's good enough for me!

Let's go worship Great Cthulhu,       In Japan they thought it neato
And run naked like a Zulu,            When they worshipped Hirohito
You and me and Mr. Sulu,              But that didn't sit with SEATO
And that's good enough for me!        So it never more will be!

I can't rhyme Ahura Mazda,              We will all bow down to Venus
And I'll praise the man who tries ta,   As we dance upon Mt Zenos
Then I'll wait for Barak Raz ta,        We will worship with our....voice
And that's good enough for me!          And that's good enough for me!

Oh, the dollar is our Saviour        And when old Quetzacoatl
If we spend Her or we save Her       Found a virgin he could throttle
She controls all our behaviour       And put her heart into a bottle
There's not enough for me!           It was good enough for me!

There are those who worship science     I'll go get my golden sickle
And some would send 'em to the Lions    And I'll wear it where it tickles
But without 'em we'd have no appliance  It ain't used for cuttin' pickles!
So they're good enough for me!          And it's good enough for me!

In the church of Aphrodite                 John, Paul, George and Ringo
The Priestess wears a see through nightie  We will worship playing Bingo
She's a mighty righteous sightie,          We will listen to them sing-o
And she's good enough for me!              And that's good enough for me!

 194 verses                      (more)


10
"That Real Old-Time Religion:" Extra Verses

Whether Low Church or it's High Church    I have got a strange religion
Or it's Pie-Up-In-The-Sky Church          I will worship Walter Pidgeon
Come on down and visit my Church          Is he sacred? Just a smidgen!
Cause it's good enough for me!            But it's good enough for me!

Brother Jerry is a cretin             Brother Oral's in his tower,
But with all the cash he's gettin'    Trusting in the Lord's power
Lotsa folks'll be forgettin           Getting richer by the hour,
It's the "Land of the Free!"          Now he's got the ransom fee!

Brother Robert's church is Crystal     Brother Earnest is a healer
But all the Bible that he's missed'll  And not QUITE a wheeler-dealer --
Make you "hotter than a pistol"        More a jumper and a squealer
But he's good enough for me!           So he's good enough for me!

Brother Jim and Sister Tammy       Then there's good ol' Brother Billy
Had a show that was a whammy       Bringing souls in willy-nilly.
But now they are in Miami          All his trips are kinda silly,
Tryin' t'get back on TV!           But he's good enough for me!

Let us read works of Confucius         We will worship Xipe-Totec   
As we walk thru Massachusetts          Tho it is a little lo-tek *   
In white robes that freeze our tushes  It is not a bit ero-tek (erotic)   
But it's good enough for me!           But it's good enough for me!
   
                                            * "low-tech(nology)

We will worship Xochipilli         And the Romans said of Jesus 
Though it might be a bit silly     "Lets kill him, he don't please us" 
Running naked makes me chilly      "But the Atheists will tease us" 
But it's good enough for me!       And thats good enough for me 

You could join Jehovah's Witness             
Running door to door for fitness
Well if you've been blessed with quickness,
Then thats good enough for me

We used to study old Confucius      And let's not forget Pelagius
As we sat there on our tushes       Though some call him outrageous
We're learning but don't push us    He is pious and courageous
And thats good enough for me        And he's good enough for me!

It's the opera written for us
We will all join in the chorus
It's the opera about Boris
Which is Godunov for me!

 210 verses
                             *

 last update: 08/29/91

More verses are always welcome to this collection. Send them to:

  Joe Bethancourt     FIDO Net: 1:114/29 (602) 439-8070
  PO Box 35190        Internet: Joe.Bethancourt@f29.n114.z1.fidonet.org
  Phoenix AZ 85069
                             *

                        *

              IMPERIUM COMPOUND                                  
                      (Tune: "Lily the Pink")

   Now here's a story, a little bit gory,
   A little bit happy, a little bit sad.
   About a drink called Imperium Compound
   And how the SCA's been had!                       (1)

   Chorus: Oh we think, we think, we think,
           The King is a fink, a fink, a fink,
           A figure of respectability
           Rules the Kingdom thru Imperium Compound
           The results are plain to see!

   Duke Treegirtsea, was known for his courtesy,
   And his fighting prowess was well-renowned
   Took a thimble of Imperium Compound
   And the poor Duke nearly drowned!                  (2)

   Words with Andy, you never should bandy
   He is strong enough to kill a moose
   He drinks copious Imperium Compound
   But he can't take Jungle Juice!                    (2)

   Meriwold, he's the bane of a Skald, he
   Has no attributes of which to sing
   Polite and formal, incredibly normal,
   Are you SURE he was the King?                       (3)

   Bearengaer(y) he lived solitary,
   From his presence folks would hide in fear
   Dipped his blade in Imperium Compound
   And now we're stuck with him this year!             

   Thaid Mak Tiessown, he taught us a lesson,
   And his praises now we sing,
   With the aid of Imperium Compound
   Any fool can be a King!                             (1)

   There was Al Frank, some thought him an old crank
   But a brilliant troubador and skald,
   Drank a toast with Imperium Compound
   Now he's prematurely bald!       //and married!//    (1)

   There was Roland, he wrote with a slow hand
   But in what he writes he does take pride
   Dipped his quill in Imperium Compound
   And took Wandor for a ride!      //for money!//      (2)

   Azarael, a melodious fellow
   Sings a song both sweet and terse,
   After drinking Imperium Compound,
   He gets verse and verse and verse!                    

   Hakan Redbeard, we thought him a bit wierd,
   We thought Vikings all were six foot four,
   Bathed his beard in Imperium Compound
   And he shrank right to the floor! //still singing!//  
2
   After Hakan, we sing of the KaKhan,
   And his Horde, which never seems to leave!
   They just smile at Imperium Compound,
   I wonder what is up his sleeve?   //wheet - thunk!//    

   AltChorus: Oh, we think, we think, we think,
              The Khan is a fink, a fink, a fink,
              A figure of incredibility
              Rules the Horde with Ghengis Compound
              With results that you can never see!

   Robert Asprin, pulled many a fast one
   On the Kingdom and its' Kings,
   So we all drank Imperium Compound
   Now we can stand the songs he sings! //oh, yeah?//    (4)

   There was Rolac, some thought him a Polack,
   But he was a Scot, you see,
   He took treatments of Imperium Compound,
   Now he's as wise as you or me!       //not likely!//   (1)

   Ol' Duke Siggie, a West Coast biggie,
   Didn't know enough for his own good!
   Threw a knife at Yang the Nauseating,
   And escaped with Brotherhood!                         (2)

   Kenneth of Cheviot, I haven't quite rhymed yet,
   But he has a fair and roving eye,
   When imbibing Imperium Compound
   He is never, ever, ever, shy!                         (2)

   Mongol Hordemen, those free-living swordsmen
   Subverting the Kingdoms from underneath!
   Have no use for Imperium Compound
   Except perhaps to brush their teeth!

   AltChorus: Oh we fink, we fink, we fink,
              The Khan and the Kink, the Kink, the Kink,
              And the Board, their Great Senilities!
              The Western Irgun, drinks Imperium Compound
              And we're BACK, with results you'll see!    (13) 

   Laurelin Darksbane, millenial elf-thane,
   Sought only for love and peace,
   Took a drink of Imperium Compound
   Now you'll find him in the trees!

   Daemon de Folo wants authority, solo,
   Like a tyrant he would be
   Stole a drink of Imperium Compound
   So much for MidRealm Heraldry!

   Anton Thoth-Ruhkh at drinking was no puke
   He has never ever reached his peak
   He was given Imperium Compound
   And pronounced it was too damn weak!




3
   Then there's Tjukka - his best friend's a hookah
   He's smoked substances both strange and rare
   He tried smoking Imperium Compound
   Now he breathes water instead of air!

   Thorbjorn he....needed a remedy
   For with ladies he took fright
   Took a drink of Imperium Compound
   Now he's horny day and night!

   Rory O'Tomrair an Irishman debonair
   Of bureaucracy had had his fill
   Took a swig of Imperium Compound
   Now he's Kingdom Sene-SHILL!

   Then there's Duke Andy, who never was handy
   And at fighting he was only fair
   Till he tasted Imperium Compound
   Now he's claws and teeth and hair!

   Grimdore Hawksbane looked like a Great Dane
   And the ladies always passed him by
   So he tried some Imperium Compound
   Now they follow him and sigh!

   From Ansteorra came Sir Galem Ostwestly
   A most noble, chaste, and holy Knight
   Took a swig of Imperium Compound
   Now he ***ks and sings all night!

   Baron Moonwulf had a small problem
   He thought Rivengut was just too sweet
   So we gave him Imperium Compound
   Now he cannot find his feet!

   Lady Laurel, with Authority Royal,
   Passes and rejects our heraldry
   She needs a swig of Imperium Compound
   Then perhaps she'd deign to talk to me!            

   Kevin Perigrynne, we hoped that he'd win,
   When he made Duke William's helmet ring
   Though a mere Knight, he showed his great might
   Now he's our curly-headed King!

   AltChorus: Oh we think, we think, we think,
              The King is a fink, a fink, a fink,
              A figure of delectability!
              Combs his hair with Imperium Compound
              The results are plain to see!

   Said Kevin Perigrynne, I've really got to win
   My fighting poem is three years old today
   Rubbed his pinions with Imperium Compound
   And brought an old grey wolf to bay!

   Kevin Perigrynne, they told him "You'll never win!"
   You're just a falcon with a broken wing
   Rubbed his elbow with Imperium Compound
   Even a cripple can be King!                         (11)
4
   Said Princess Pattty, "We're going batty,
   But the Kingdom must come first, I've heard...
   We'll run our lives with Imperium Compound
   And give the Western Crown the bird!

   Lady Trude thought it her duty
   To turn a social wrong into a Right
   Proved her point with Imperium Compound
   And showed that Cheshire Cats can fight!  //and scratch//

   Mary of Uffington said "Fighting's a lot of fun,
   But I've found a bigger thrill!"
   Earned a Clubbe with Imperium Compound
   Because it's lots more fun to kill!

   Siegfried the Urbane disguises a sharp brain
   Beneath a mop of flashy golden hair
   He rakes and he boozes, but it's Compound he uses
   When he runs out of savoir faire!                   (6)

   The Board of Directors styled themselves The Electors
   And another con they tried to swing
   Now the BoD drinks Imperium Compound
   So we no longer need a King!                        (7)

   AltChorus: Oh the Bod, the BoD, the BoD,
              It thinks it is God, is God, is God,
              The figure of Supreme Authority!
              And if we O.D.'d on Imperium Compund
              there'd be no need for Royalty!          (7/8)

   Jon deCles rules, as if we were all fools
   And won't ever try to change his ways
   Once the Horde drinks Imperium Compound
   Then the Board will be deClesse!                    (9)

   AltChorus: Oh the Board, the Board, the Board,
              It isn't the Horde, the Horde, the Horde
              And in its' difference lies its' fall from grace
              Even the Dukes found they had to use Compound
              Just to keep it in its' place!           (9)

   Princess Kelley, was always so smelly
   Everyone around her had to wince
   Rinsed her diapers in Imperium Compound
   And we've been smiling ever since!                   (10)

   Duke Henrik was a Dane, we all thought he was sane
   And a foolish thing he'd never try
   He mixed his sake with Imperium Compound
   Now he's a Danish Samurai!         //ah! so!//        (11)

   Oh, MEDIEVAL Net, we thought it was all wet
   With witty remarks, and other kinds of sass
   We'll feed our computers on Imperium Compound
   And BYTE the BoD right on its' righteous ass!         (5)




5
   Kaththea verKaysc, was so very nice-ic
   For the King and Queen made Crepes Suzettes
   Into her recipe went Imperium Compound
   And she became a Baroness!                            (12)

   Duke Sir Brion, with his pretty white suit on,
   Is a model of goodness and purity
   Never touches Imperium Compound
   (spoken:) And I'll sell ya seashore property in Yuma, too!   (5)

   KaKhan Yang the...great imbiber of Tully,
   Said there was no drink that he feared
   So he tried some Imperium Compound
   And completely disappeared!

   Good old Duncan was often drunken
   Chasing all the ladies fair
   He bathed himself in Imperium Compound
   Now he has a little savoir faire!                     (5)

   Christopher Houghton and his father dotin'
   Both undefeated sought the Kingship
   But Christopher bathed in Imperium Compound
   While William only took a dip!

   Ioseph of Locksley, never changes his socks, he
   Runs around looking like a Cavalier,
   He stocked up on Imperium Compound
   And he has enough to last for years and years!        (13)

   AltChorus: Oh they forgot, forgot, forgot
              The Locks-e-ly Plot, the Plot, the Plot!
              And it works the best when it is underground!
              It isn't a hassle for a green-and-white tassle
              They're the ones that BREW Imperium Compound!  (13)

   Seneshal Keridwen, a leader of good men,
   Sought to give away her job
   She was poisoned with Imperium Compound
   Now when we think of her, we sob!

   Duchess Deshive, had it her own way,
   Ruled Caid, and as a Queen, did well!
   But they gave out Imperium Compound,
   And a toga party blew it all to hell!                 (13)

   Trelon of the Wood, he was very good, he
   Was a leader that had never been beat before;
   But Caid had Imperium Compound,
   And Imperial Roman Caid won the War!  //with help!//   (13)

   Criostan MacAmhlaidh don't like creepy-crawlies
   And she very seldom sees the light of day,
   But she drank some Imperium Compound,
   And now she "pets de cat" in several ways!  //meow!//  (13)

   In Tyr Ysgithr, it's regularly whispered there
   That the Kingdom is ruled over by a King    // What's THAT? //
   They're "democratic" and quite erratic....
   They've forgot the purpose of the whole damn thing!     (17)
6
   There was a Viking, he once was my King,  
   His name is Asbjorn, he's the one.
   Does his hair with Imperium Compound--
   Is it true blondes have more fun?                     (14)

   Good old Ardjukk, he never got any nookie,
   He was always standing 'round behind the door
   But then he tasted Imperium Compound
   He's Afraid-Of-His-Cats, but he's got pussy galore!    (5)

   Finvarr de Taahe, he needed a remedy
   For the falcons nesting in his hair;
   So he sprayed them with Imperium Compound
   Now petrified falcons roost up there!              (14-16)

   King Sir Mark von, with his pretty white suit on,
   Rules the Kingdom both with Grace and Purity!
   He never touches Imperium Compound
   At least not where anyone else can see!                (5)

   Good King Christian, we never could question
   So it happened at October Crown:
   He led the Kingdom out into the water
   And his tooth was never found.                        (15)

   King Sebastian, he was a bastion
   Of Carolingian civility,
   So when he drank Imperium Compound
   He danced across the sea.                             (16)

   When Maragon ascended the Eastern Throne
   He found he need not do a thing
   He never heard of Imperium Compound
   For only BoD can make a King!                         (16)

   Imperium Compound was a recipe found
   By Bruce of Cloves, the first to rule the East
   It was so long ago, he had sabre-tooth tygers
   At his Coronation feast!                              (16)

   Alpin MacGregor looked so regal
   In the purple robes of an Eastern King
   Then he tasted Imperium Compound
   And he chucked the whole damn thing!                  (16)

   Duke Akbar, the bloodthirsty Moghul,
   By al-Q'uran is forbidden wine,
   So he drinks up Imperium Compound
   As a change from drinks sanguine!                     (16)

   When Count Murad was the Crown Prince
   He was known far and wide as Akbar's lad;
   He drank to excess of Imperium Compound
   And then was known as Akbar's dad!                     (16)

   Rakkurai, the yarmulke'd Sam-rye
   Swore he'd never need a drink,
   When he was offered Imperium Compound
   Just to prove the King's a fink!      //OY! vas he!//   (16)

7
   Cariadoc drinks Imperium Compound
   Just before the start of every bout
   No need to ask him why he does it
   When Duke Nijinsky starts to leap about!                (16)

   Count Jehan, it's true, is a loup-garou
   And it's sad to say he got that way
   When he drank too much Imperium Compound
   And at the moon began to bay!        // Arooooooo! //   (16)

   It's said of Duke Angus, he likes to drink kumiss
   In fact he'll drink most anything,
   But he'll never touch Imperium Compound
   For only BUD is fit for Kings!                         (16)

   Alaric thinks Imperium Compound
   As a party drink is only fair
   But it's great to polish armour
   Or to wash down Gummi-Bears!                           (16)

   Now Laeghaere of tde Strong Hand
           He comes from Ireland
   And was, accordingly, weaned on Uisquebaugh
   But when he sips Imperium Compound
   You'll hear an Irish Wolfhound's howl  //Aroooooo!//    (16)

   Don Fernando drinks tequila
   By the jugful...never gets him high
   Takes a sip of Imperium Compound
   and OLE! The Spanish Fly!                              (16)

   Fredrick of Holland came from the Westland
   And in the East by him great deeds were done
   He'd worked up a thirst for Imperium Compound
   For he'd been fighting since DAY ONE! // No Kidding! //  (16)

   Gyrth Oldcastle wanted no hassle
   Just a drink that's tried and true
   So Melisande makes his Imperium Compound
   From an ancient Fambly brew!                           (16)

   Bertrand de Flammepoing, he really must be aw-
   Fully sure of his invulnerability
   He cried thru a bowl full of Imperium Compound
   "Let's try assassinating me!"                          (16)

   Setanta Rex, he, became King X, he
   Got killed off sometime in the spring
   So Aidan drank his Imperium Compound
   "The King is dead! Long live the...Queen?"             (16)

   Vissevald he's the friend of the skald, he's
   A patron of the Minstrelsy;
   And when he's had his Imperium Compound
   He breaks the glasses with his high "C"!               (16)

   There wasn't any like Gavin Kilkenny
   Known as crafty, keen, in battle tough!
   Then Tamera fed him Imperium Compound
   And proved the King's a booff!                         (16)
8
   Michael of Bedford mounted throne-ward
   And the peasants all in peace did sleep
   For he pledged in Imperium Compound
   To guard the virtue of their sheep!                    (16)

   Siegfried von Halstern, when it was his turn,
   To lead the Pennsic forces on parade
   Promised to turn down Imperium Compound
   Unless it's mixed with GatorAde!                       (16)

   Let us drink to King AElfwine, one who
   With Queen Arastorm did travel far!
   Gotatwice`the milage with Imperium Compound
   In the gas tank of their car!                          (16)

   Hasdrubal downed Imperium Compound
   And put the archer's noses out of joint
   He thought we had too many Orders
   So the Pheon lost its' point!                          (16)

   Sedalia and Viktor took the sceptre
   And there happened a peculiar thing:
   They both drank so much Imperium Compound
   You couldn't tell which one was King!                  (16)

   Morghun Sheridan had a Crown to win
   Which he did for one and all to see;
   He washed his dishes in Imperium Compound
   And put the Kingdom on KP!                             (16)

   Ronald Wilmot says he is still not
   Sure that his good luck he can believe:
   He flew due East on Imperium Compound
   And landed in the strawberry leaves!                   (16)

   The Fates were perusing; a King they were choosing
   Of the safe and sane and saintly sort
   Then they tippled Imperium Compound,
   And now Sebastian's holding Court!                     (16)

   Bruce of Cloves was King of the Eastland
   But his reign it must have been a bore:
   Just what he did with Imperium Compound
   No one remembers anymore!                              (16)

   When Laeghaere O'Laverty has the depravity
   To entertain a Lady in her bower,
   He takes a sip of Imperium Compound,
   Ere demonstrating Tyrone's power!                      (16)

   Fernando drank Imperium Compound
   But he doesn't do it any more;
   Not since he saw a Quetzacoatl
   Above his chamber door!     // a-singing....! //       (16)

   Fredrick of Holland drank Imperium Compound
   But he didn't think it awfully neat,
   Made a face and muttered lowly:
   "This stuff is too damn sweet!"                        (16)

9
   When Setanta ascended the Eastern Throne
   He was nothing special to behold;
   Until he drank some Imperium Compound:
   Now he's a Playgirl centerfold!                        (16)

   When Setanta was the Crown Prince
   He wore garments of a sombre hue
   Then he tasted Imperium Compound
   And now he's berry, berry blue!                        (16)

   Imperium Compound is a manly brew
   As many a puissant Countess will assert!
   It makes you wonder about King Vissevald
   The King who wears a skirt!                            (16)

   Vissevald is King of the Eastland
   Drinks Imperium Compound by the quart
   He likes it so much he's never noticed
   We now wear daggers into Court!                        (16)

   Vissevald and his Lady Mara
   Danced "La Volta" through the night;
   He drank too deep of Imperium Compound,
   And she's now a satellite!                             (16)

   Gavin Kilkenny asked "Is there any-
   One who would dispute my rightful Throne?
   I'll take a double Imperium Compound,
   For it seems I have a clone!"                          (16)

   AElfwine the Saxon, whose family's flaxen
   Whose courtesy is all the Northland's pride;
   Mixes his mead now with Imperium Compound
   Often a bridesmaid, now a bride!                       (16)

   Siegfried, thrice King, showed us a new thing
   When fighting for the Eastern Crown:
   He took a swig of Imperium Compound
   And proved you CAN win from one-down!                  (16)

   Richard of Mont Roy-al, the Short he
   Is very fast and very hard to kill;
   As tall as Frodo, or his dog, Odo,
   But he kisses Froggies with a will!                     (5)

   Duke Sir Deaton, was never beaten
   On the field, or in the drinking hall;
   At the Catbox War with Caid,
   Left thirty bodies piled against the wall!              (5)

   Denis O'Titans was good at smitin'
   A Locksley Monster in every single way!
   Drank a little Imperium Compound
   And ATE Deaton's sword that day  // No! REALLY! //       (5)

   Wotan the Mongoloid, a little bit paranoid,
   But a nice guy none the less;
   Drank a mess of Imperium Compound
   Now he's Justin du Roc, I confess!                       (5)

10
   Then there's Duke Reynard, with a face like a St. Bernard
   Of the Dukes, he is the homliest
   He tends to toke up on Imperium Compound
   And go out and whomp on anybody's best!                   

   Oh, Ebenezer, thought he was Julius Caesar
   So they put him in the Funny Home.
   Then they gave him Imperium Compound,
   Now he's Emperor of Rome.
                 
   AltChorus: Oh let's drink a drink, a drink, a drink,  
              To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink,
              The savior of the human ra-aa-ace.
              She invented Imperium Compound,
              Most effacatious in evr'y case.

   There was Horic, We thought he was sick,
   As a War-Puppy he was insane,
   Gave up Tranya for Imperium Compound,
   Now we have an Acid Reign!            //Oh wow, man!//   (18)

   This song'll bedevil the folks at a revel,
   And most of the time it will annoy the King,
   So take a drink of Imperium Compound
   And let's go Royalty-bedeviling!                         (5)

   Duchess Anna is quite a fan-a
   Going on a wartime shopping spree!  \\ War Point!\\
   Took a drink of Imperium Compound
   And shopped so fast we couldn't see! \\ Z-o-o-o-om!\\    (5)

   Lyn of Whitewolfe, made of the right stuff,
   Twice the Queen of Atenveldt;
   Took a drink of Imperium Compound
   And the Kingdom of Caid before her knelt!                (5)

   Duke Sir Brion, and Duke Sir Trelon,
   Won the Crown with regularity;
   Drank a lot of Imperium Compound,
   And founded a dynasty!                                   (5)

   Stephan von Geist, was most awful nice,
   And a chivalrous fighter without any doubt
   Took a swig of Imperium Compound
   And won the Crown his first time out!                    (5)

   All the Crusadenes were big, but not mean,
   And the finest fighters in the town.
   But they all drank Jerusalem Compound,
   Winning Crown after Crown after Crown!                   (5)

   Good Duke Arthur couldn't get no farth-er
   A Norman King in Aten Land
   Drank too much of Imperium Compound
   And went off to conquer Engel-land!                      (5)

   Then King Richard, a bit of a bitch, heard
   A King's Crown could be done.
   Drank a little Imperium Compound
   And became the Aten King, first one!                     (5)
11
   There was Astra, no one ever asked her
   And she was for having fun!
   Then she sampled Imperium Compound,
   And today she is a nun   \\ not better!\\               (19)

   There's good old Igor, his prowess is meager
   For he never learned to water-ski!
   But instead he drinks Imperium Compound
   Then he howls and climbs a tree!  \\Hoo Hah!\\          (19)

   Then there's Dagan, his brother's the Ka-Khan,
   Which is quite funny in a King!
   If he gets hooked on Imperium Compound
   There'll be new songs to sing!    \\ Oh, really?\\       (19)  

   Fredrick of Holland, who dwells in the Northland,
   A Master from the West, he came!
   Spends all his money for Imperium Compound
   That's why his garb's always the same!                   (20)

   Now Gyrth Oldcastle, round as a beer barrel,
   Once chose to quarrel with a certain Bard;
   The poet served him with Imperium Compound,
   And left him rendered down to lard!                      (20)

   Many tales abound of Imperium Compound
   And its' strange effects on Royalty,
   But after an hour, this song has no power,
   And by now, it's boring ME!                             (16)

   Duchess Malinda, who doesn't do windas
   But she does a lot of Duchess Things,
   But give her a LOT of Imperium Compound,
   And she sings and sings and sings and sings and sings!   (5)

   AltChorus: Oh it's too long, too long, too long
              To sing the whole song, the song, the song
              Longer than a Royal Court, it is!
              But sing it serial, this ditty Imperial
              And you'll be a bardic whiz!                 (5)

CREDITS: (1): Yang the Nauseating        (2): Azarael the Soul Separator
         (3): Hael of the Broken Mask    (4): Richard of Alsace
         (5): Ioseph of Locksley         (6): Rima of Rockridge
         (7): Siegfried v. Hofflichkeit  (8): Karina of the Far West
         (9): Linda-Muireall v. Katzenbrasse & Elspeth O'Byrne
         (10): Esmerelda      (11): Kevin Perigrynne      (12): Aelswith
         (13): Ardjukk Afraid-of-His-Cats  (14): Barak Raz, or was it Orm?
         (15): Iulstan Sigewealding        (16): Megan ni Laine
         (17): Raphael Blackriser          (18): Steffan ap Cennydd
         (19): HOPSFA Hymnal (3rd Ed.)     (20): Unknown SCA songbook

        Where no credit is given: Author/source unknown.
        Send any verses you have that are NOT in here to:

   Ioseph of Locksley        This is one of several files comprising the 
   c/o PO Box 35190          Black Book of Song of Ioseph of Locksley.
   Phoenix AZ 85069 USA      Collect them all!
                   --------------------------------------


                         *
                                             IMPERIUM COMPOUND    
                                             (Atenveldt Verses)

   Now here's a story, a little bit gory,
   A little bit happy, a little bit sad.
   About a drink called Imperium Compound
   And how the SCA's been had!                       

   Chorus: Oh we think, we think, we think,
           The King is a fink, a fink, a fink,
           A figure of respectability
           Rules the Kingdom thru Imperium Compound
           The results are plain to see!

   Mongol Hordemen, those free-living swordsmen
   Subverting the Kingdoms from underneath!
   Have no use for Imperium Compound
   Except perhaps to brush their teeth!

   AltChorus: Oh we fink, we fink, we fink,
              The Khan and the Kink, the Kink, the Kink,
              And the Board, their Great Senilities!
              The Western Irgun, drinks Imperium Compound
              And we're BACK, with results you'll see!    

   Lady Laurel, with Authority Royal,
   Passes and rejects our heraldry
   She needs a swig of Imperium Compound
   Then perhaps she'd deign to talk to me!            

   Lady Trude thought it her duty
   To turn a social wrong into a Right
   Proved her point with Imperium Compound
   And showed that Cheshire Cats can fight!  //and scratch//

   The Board of Directors styled themselves The Electors
   And another con they tried to swing
   Now the BoD drinks Imperium Compound
   So we no longer need a King!                        

   AltChorus: Oh the Bod, the BoD, the BoD,
              It thinks it is God, is God, is God,
              The figure of Supreme Authority!
              And if we O.D.'d on Imperium Compund
              there'd be no need for Royalty!          

   Oh, MEDIEVAL Net, we thought it was all wet
   With witty remarks, and other kinds of sass
   We'll feed our computers on Imperium Compound
   And BYTE the BoD right on its' righteous ass!         

   Good old Duncan was often drunken
   Chasing all the ladies fair
   He bathed himself in Imperium Compound
   Now he has a little savoir faire!                     

                    (more)


  ATEN IMPERIUM (cont.)

   Ioseph of Locksley, never changes his socks, he
   Runs around looking like a Cavalier,
   He stocked up on Imperium Compound
   And he has enough to last for years and years!        

   AltChorus: Oh they forgot, forgot, forgot
              The Locks-e-ly Plot, the Plot, the Plot!
              And it works the best when it is underground!
              It isn't a hassle for a green-and-white tassle
              They're the ones that BREW Imperium Compound!  

   Trelon of the Wood, he was very good, he
   Was a leader that had never been beat before;
   But Caid had Imperium Compound,
   And Imperial Roman Caid won the War!  //with help!//   

   In Tyr Ysgithr, it's regularly whispered there
   That the Kingdom is ruled over by a King    // What's THAT? //
   They're "democratic" and quite erratic....
   They've forgot the purpose of the whole damn thing!     

   King Sir Mark von, with his pretty white suit on,
   Rules the Kingdom both with Grace and Purity!
   He never touches Imperium Compound
   At least not where anyone else can see!               

   Duke Sir Deaton, was never beaten
   On the field, or in the drinking hall;
   At the Catbox War with Caid,
   Left thirty bodies piled against the wall!             

   Denis O'Titans was good at smitin'
   A Locksley Monster in every single way!
   Drank a little Imperium Compound
   And ATE Deaton's sword that day  // No! REALLY! //       

   Wotan the Mongoloid, a little bit paranoid,
   But a nice guy none the less;
   Drank a mess of Imperium Compound
   Now he's Justin du Roc, I confess!                       

   Then there's Duke Reynard, with a face like a St. Bernard
   Of the Dukes, he is the homliest
   He tends to toke up on Imperium Compound
   And go out and whomp on anybody's best!                   

   This song'll bedevil the folks at a revel,
   And most of the time it will annoy the King,
   So take a drink of Imperium Compound
   And let's go Royalty-bedeviling!                        

   Duchess Anna is quite a fan-a
   Going on a wartime shopping spree!  \\ War Point!\\
   Took a drink of Imperium Compound
   And shopped so fast we couldn't see! \\ Z-o-o-o-om!\\    (5)

                     (more)


  ATEN IMPERIUM (Cont.)

   Lyn of Whitewolfe, made of the right stuff,
   Twice the Queen of Atenveldt;
   Took a drink of Imperium Compound
   And the Kingdom of Caid before her knelt!              

   Duke Sir Brion, and Duke Sir Trelon,
   Won the Crown with regularity;
   Drank a lot of Imperium Compound,
   And founded a dynasty!                                 

   Stephan von Geist, was most awful nice,
   And a chivalrous fighter without any doubt
   Took a swig of Imperium Compound
   And won the Crown his first time out!                    

   All the Crusadenes were big, but not mean,
   And the finest fighters in the town.
   But they all drank Jerusalem Compound,
   Winning Crown after Crown after Crown!                 

   Good Duke Arthur couldn't get no farth-er
   A Norman King in Aten Land
   Drank too much of Imperium Compound
   And went off to conquer Engel-land!                    

   Then King Richard, a bit of a bitch, heard
   A King's Crown could be done.
   Drank a little Imperium Compound
   And became the Aten King, first one!                    

   Duchess Malinda, who doesn't do windas,
   But she does a lot of Duchess Things,
   But give her a LOT of Imperium Compound,
   And she sings and sings and sings and sings and sings!   

   Duke Sir Brion, with his pretty white suit on,
   Is a model of goodness and purity
   Never touches Imperium Compound
(spoken:) And I'll sell ya seashore property in Yuma, too!  

   Optional last verse:

   Many tales abound of Imperium Compound
   And its' strange effects on Royalty,
   But after an hour, this song has no power,
   And by now, it's boring ME!                            

   AltChorus: Oh it's too long, too long, too long
              To sing the whole song, the song, the song
              Longer than a Royal Court, it is!
              But sing it serial, this ditty Imperial
              And you'll be a bardic whiz!                

Send any verses you have that are NOT in here to:

   Ioseph of Locksley
   c/o PO Box 35190
   Phoenix AZ 85069 USA



