
      FFFFF  I   L       K    K   fffff  i   l       eeeee
      F      I   L       K  K     f      i   l       e    
      FFFF   I   L       KK       ffff   i   l       eeee 
      F      I   L       K  K     f      i   l       e    
      F      I   LLLLLL  K    K   f      i   llllll  eeeee     

                              FIVE
----------------------------------------------------------------
The  fifth compilation of filksongs collected from the FILK  Echo 
and provided for download via the auspices of Kay Shapero, moder-
ator of same.  Publication date, September 1990.  All  copyrights 
belong to the writers.   

FILKfile  appears  at  irregular intervals of a  month  or  more, 
depending on how many songs appear on the echo.    
----------------------------------------------------------------
AND  HERE'S  ANOTHER ASCII ANNOTATION SCHEME, a bit  more  visual 
than mine, but also bulkier.  (For mine, see FILKfile 4)

===

ASCII MUSICAL NOTATION
developed by Leigh Ann Hussey
with help from Shadowthought and Josh Gordon

Each  line of the music consists of 4 lines of music.   The  time 
signature(s),  the lines between bars, and each note take up  one 
column, with modifiers such as sharps, flats, and dots  extending 
a note up to three columns.  The time signature is written at the 
beginning in the obvious way.  Three vertical bars (lines 2 to 4) 
mark the divisions between measures.  Lines 1 to 3 indicate  note 
durations, as follows:

     1/16   1/8   1/4   1/2   dotted-1/2   1/8    1/4
     note   note  note  note     note      rest   rest
      =      _
      |      |     |     |        |         '      %
      |      |     |     o        o.

Line  4 indicates the pitch.  The numbers 1 to 8 mark the  octave 
including  middle  C (A through F); 1' to 8',  one  octave  above 
middle  C;  1" to 8", two octaves above middle C; '1 to  '8,  the 
octave  below middle C.  A number followed by a # is a  sharp;  a 
number followed by a lower-case b is a flat; a number followed by 
a  = is natural.  Underscores connecting a note to the next  note 
indicate a slur.  Consider the following examples:

                                 HOOF AND HORN

                |               
4  |    |    |  |  |    |    |  
-  |    |    o  |  |    |    o  
4  1    7b   1  |  1    7b   1  
  Hoof and horn,  hoof and horn,
  Corn and grain, corn and grain

|                    |             ||
|  |   |    |     |  |  |   |   |  ||
|  |   |    |     |  |  |   |   o  ||
|  1   3b   2     7b |  7b  2   1  ||
  All that dies  shall be   re-born. 
, All that falls shall rise a- gain. 

                              GOD/GODDESS CHANTS

   ____ |      _____ |        | _____  _____ 
|  |  | |  |   |   | | |    | | |   |  |   | 
|  |  | |  |   |   | | |    | | |   |  |   | 
1  1  1 |  1   1   1 |'7   '7 | 1   1  1   1 
I-sis,A-  star-te, Di- a-   na, He- ca-te, De-
O-din,Cer-nun- nos,    Merd-dyn,Man-na-nan,He-

|      |       |   _    |   ||  
| |  | | |   | | ' |  | | | ||  
| |  | | |   | |   |  | | o ||  
| 1  1 | 1   1 |  '7 '7 | 1 ||  
- me-ter,Ka- li,   In-na- na.   
- li-os, Shi-va,   Horned One.  

(excuse  the  folding  - I want to keep  this  to  60  characters 
across.  Feel free to unfold when processing this file!)

****

BORED OF THE DANCE 
-The Kipper Family 
recorded on "The Kipper Family-Fresh Yesterday" 
 
(Written by George Kipper, who is Mr. Kipper's uncle, as 
far as we know......) 

As I walked down to the village hall 
I met Charlie leanin' on the wall 
"Why are you standin' out here, Char-lee?" 
"Cause I am bored of the dance!" said he! 
 
CHORUS: Dance! Dance! What -ever- do they see? 
        In prancin' round all the time, said he 
        I'll leave them all to do it without me 
        For I am bored of the dance, said he! 
 
I come to the dance with my girl, he said 
I told her that I'd rather go to bed, 
Oh yes I'm sure you would, said she, 
But first you'll come and dance with me! 

She said, You'll come and dance right now! 
But I weren't list'nin' when the caller told us how 
They "cast left," but "right" I went 
They danced on, but I ended in the "Gents'!" 

I drank with the Morris-men, James and John, 
They drank with me as the dance went on, 
We drank and we drank till it all went black. 
It's hard to dance when you're lyin' on your back! 

Oh, how she danced on the night they were wed 
She danced, he drank, and then they went to bed 
There's no more story to be told 
She was too hot, and he was out cold! 

(uploaded by Joe Bethancourt.  Copyright?  Who knows!)


****

DECHANCIE KIDNAPPED
words by Kay Shapero
tune: Swing Low Sweet Chariot

 Go 'way, blue turtleoid
 comin' for to carry me off
 Go 'way, blue turtleoid
 comin' for to carry me off.

I checked over echoes of S and F ilk
(comin' for to carry me off)
And there I saw a scary one called FILK
(comin' for to carry me off)

 Go 'way, blue turtleoid
 comin' for to carry me off
 Go 'way, blue turtleoid
 comin' for to carry me off.

The songs they are singing don't give me a fright
(comin' for to carry me off)
Its just that I need to have SOME time to write!
(comin' for to carry me off)

 Go  'way,  blue  turtl... HELP!........(trailing  off  into  the 
distance. There is the sound of clomping feet...)

****

                           DETERIORATA PT. 2
                      (The Dark Horde version!)

Go  nastily  amid the Peace and Tranquility,  and  remember  what 
satisfaction there may be in Genocide. As far as possible,  with-
out  surrender,  move into other people's space. Lie  often,  and 
loudly,  and  listen  to the lies of others, even  the  slow  and 
incompetent - examples can be made of them later. * Seek out meek 
and  inoffensive persons: they are annoying, but fun to kill.  Do 
not  bother comparing yourself to others: Those greater than  you 
will eventually be eliminated, and those lesser then you are dead 
already.  Fart  in Grand Processionals. *  Keep your  swords  and 
knives sharp, for all around you are cha'gua, and looking for  an 
excuse to kill you. *  Rape first, then pillage, and then burn. *  
Exercize caution around Vikings and Celts. They are crazier  than 
we  are: a Celtic Mongol is an awesome thing indeed. Make him  or 
her  your  Friend. *  But let Life not blind you to  the  happier 
side  of  things: many Hats are swaggering,  tinplated  dictators 
with delusions of adequacy, and everywhere Life is full of Incom-
petence.  Advance  yourself. Especially do  not  feign  meanness, 
neither  be cynical about Hate: you are not likely to run out  of 
either.  *   Take  kindly the counsel of  the  years,  gracefully 
surrendering the joys of defenestration and evisceration for more 
mature  pleasures.  Nurture a deep-seated  suspicion  of  chag'ua 
women  with big boobs: you never can tell. File your teeth  regu-
larly.  Discipline is important: practice holding it  in  between 
events. *  You are a Scourge of the World, no less than Atilla or 
the  Great  Ghengis  Himself: you have a right to  be  here.  And 
whether  or not it is clear to you, no doubt the Known Worlde  is 
going to pieces in a most laudable manner. *  Therefore, do  your 
utmost  to annoy the Powers-that Be,however you may  conceive  of 
Them: BoD, King, or the People's Will; and,whatever your plans of 
conquest,  as you wade thru the morasses of Peace with  fire  and 
sword, annoy your Soul. *  With all it's Truth, High Resolve, and 
Courage,  the  Known World still has it's Ugly Spots  and  Fubba-
Wubbas. Be thoughtless. Strive to be miserable.

   -found carved into the back of a MidRealm fighter at Pennsic,
    AS 23. No damn Copyright. Post no Bills. This means YOU!
    Courtesy of Ardjukk Afraid-of-His-Cats and the Western Irgun
    of the Great Dark Horde.

****

(WARNING! Bawdy alert!)
LONDON DERRIERE 
-W.J. Bethancourt III 
(c) copyright 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III 
 
I watch you walk upon the streets of London 
Your mini-skirt stretched tight, and looking sweet 
I watch you walk, and walk into a lampost 
I didn't see, upon the London street. 
        So turn your back, and wiggle softly from me! 
        With mini-skirt, (perhaps, no underwear!) 
        Your legs are great! But, by the Gods above me! 
        I watch your wondrous London derriere! 

The Paris girls are wonders full of beauty, 
And California grows the Long-stemmed L.A. rose, 
Berlin nights are full of life, and lovely, 
But London girls don't wear no panty-hose! 
        So turn your back, and wiggle softly from me! 
        And let me watch, and dream a dream so rare: 
        In my hotel, you naked there above me 
        Sit on my face with your London derriere! 

****

MORE REAL OLD TIME RELIGION VERSES
 
I was singing Hari Rama                
With my friend the Dalai Lama           
'Til they dumped us in the slammer     
But that's good enough for me          

One-eyed Odin we will follow      
And in fighting we will wallow    
Till we wind up in Valhallow      
Which is good enough for me!      

Hare Krishna gets a laugh on      
When he sees me dressed in saffron 
With my hair that's only half on  
But that's good enough for me!    

We will pray with those Egyptians  
Build pyramids to put our crypts in
Cover subways with inscriptions,   
which is good enough for me.....!  

We will pray to Zarathustra         
And we'll pray just like we usta    
I'm a Zarathustra boosta!           
And that's good enough for me!      
                                    
I'll arise at early mornin'      
When the Sun gives me the warnin'
That the Solar Age is dawnin'    
And that's good enough for me!   

We will venerate Bubastis            
'Cause my cat walked up and ast us   
(Now the cat box is DISASTROUS!)     
But it's good enough for me!         

Call Him God, or call him Allah  
The priest will take your dollah 
Easy living from -your- follah-  
-wers, but sorry, -not- from me! 

I'll sing some songs to Lilith,      
Not so young, and not so girlish,    
and She's always PMS-ish,            
but She's good enough for me!        
  
And what about this Baccus,          
Who lives just to raise a ruckus?    
Loosens women so they'll **** us,    
Well, that's good enough for me!     

Now Danae was sweet as flowers,        
She was into golden showers;           
And that showed her Zeus' power         
And that's good enough for me!           

Lilith wears a lacy nightie 
And She is a little flighty 
She will get you all excite-y 
She's wet-dream enough for me!                    

Diana is a little spikey 
And she is a little dyke-ey 
You don't have to be a Psych-e 
To know that's right for me!           

It's the opera written for us 
We will all join in the chorus 
It's the opera about Boris 
Which is Godunov for me! 

More verses are always welcome to this collection. Send them to: 
 
  Joe Bethancourt     
  PO Box 35190        
  Phoenix AZ 85069 

FIDO Net: 1:114/29 (602) 439-8070                 
Internet: Joe.Bethancourt@f29.n114.z1.fidonet.org 

****

TEST MESSAGE           
Words by Kay Shapero   
(tune: The Ways of Man)

This is a test the sysop said
Please tell me was this message read
I'm checking how the echo's fed
For I do want to receive it...
 
Oh the bits, oh the bytes
As the boards swap data, nights
The echoes promise great delights
And I've sworn that I will read them....

****
 
THE CHIVALRY WENT FOR PIZZA 
-Cerian Cantwr 
 
CHORUS:  And the chivalry went for pizza, 
         They would not be denied. 
         Yes, the chivalry went for pizza, 
         With those pies they'd be supplied. 
         The chivalry went for pizza, 
         And they did cause quite a fuss, 
         But the chivalry got the pizza, 
         And they brought it back to us. 
 
It was Sunday after Pennsic             
The war was at an end.                 
We got to feeling hungry               
For the mundane world again.           
We thought to order pizza,             
And thus we sealed our fate.           
For the pizza man, he told us,          
We would have two hours' wait.         

Two hours came and went,               
But no pizza did appear.               
That's when we got to wondering        
Just what did go on here.              
A phone call to the restaurant         
Assured us all was well,               
But 'twould be another half hour       
Ere the pizza we would smell.          

The time it did pass slowly,           
Irritation, it did grow.               
Our stomachs fell to grumbling,         
For our dinner did not show.           
When the time had all expired,         
Our thoughts, they did grow ill.       
Especially when we heard               
Another thirty minutes still.          
 
The time dragged on and on and on
And still no pizza showed.       
I tell to you most heartily,     
We were getting quite POed.      
A last call to the restaurant    
Said, pizza on your plate?       
Take it easy, there's no problem,
Just another hour's wait.        
                                 
Well folks, that finally did it, 
The knights stood up to a man.   
They decided to go into town     
Their weapons well in hand.      
The pizza shop they'd ransack,   
And the blood would freely flow. 
Well they retrieved our dinner,  
But just how, I do not know.     
                                 
Now gentles listen closely,      
And I shall tell you right.      
If Pennsic Sunday you want pizza,
You will have a hungry knight.   
The war, it may be over,         
But you should not forget,       
If you go and order pizza,       
You'll have one more battle yet. 

(c) copyright Charles Grab 1990 

****

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS 
-The Kipper Family 
 
Well, as I come home on Monday night 
I'd had nothin' at all t'drink 
I saw a horse behind the door.... 
Well, that made me stop and think! 
A coat, some boots, a pipe I spied, 
And then upstairs I ran. 
And there in bed, beside my wife, 
Was a great big hairy man! 
Oh you come bargin' in, she cried, 
You've put him off his thrust, 
For me and the village smith, she cried, 
are practicin' our Lust! 
 
CHORUS: As I come home each night 
        Me troubles all begin 
        For there's the Missus practicin'  
        The Seven Deadly Sins! 
 
Well, as I came home on Tuesday night 
As sober as a Judge 
I saw no tea upon my plate 
Where my old tea should lodge 
So I called my wife and I said to her 
Well, here's a rum old do! 
I got no tea upon my plate 
Is it somethin' to do with you? 
Well, sin of sin of sins, she said 
There's nothin' for your tea 
For I have been a-practicin'  
The Sin of Gluttony! 

Well, as I come home on Wednesday night 
As dry as any old bone 
I saw the cat upon the stairs 
Where that should not have gone 
So I called my wife and I said to her 
Well, what's all this here, then? 
Why is the cat all on the stairs 
Where that should never have been? 
I'm upstairs practicin' Pride, she said 
In my best Sunday hat 
Pride comes before a fall, says I, 
Then I fell over the cat!              

Well, as I come home on Thursday night 
Me tongue all hangin' out 
I saw no books upon the shelf; 
They was all strewed about. 
So I called my wife and I says to her 
Don't tell me, let me guess: 
You've found another Deadly Sin 
That's called Untidyness! 
She said I'm a-tryin' to find out 
What Covetousness means 
I wish we owned that Diction'ry 
We saw round at the Dean's! 

Well, as I come home on Friday night 
A-gaspin' for a wet 
I saw no spouse upon the chair 
Where my ol' spouse do set 
So I called my wife and I says to her 
Well, what's a-goin' on? 
I left my spouse upon this chair 
Wherever has she gone? 
Look up! Look up! You silly old fool! 
I'm hangin' from the light 
For I am practicin' Sloth, she said, 
And I'll be here half the night! 
 
Copyright Joe Bethancourt, I think... Joe?  Did you do this?

****

TOO LATE TO PRAY 
-Traditional 
 
Oh, things are gettin better so the politicians say 
Oh sure they're gettin better as they take our money away! 
Oh they tax us here and they tax us there, then they call for tax 
relief 
We send a bum to prison and elect ourselves a thief 

        Too late to pray when the devil comes 
        Too late once you're there 
        Say buddy I think I see some horns 
        Comin up thru your hair! 

Now the country runs on gasoline, its' veins are filled with oil 
But  the man that's goin to bleed to death is the man that  works 
and toils 
With prices gettin higher, and wages stayin low 
You'll  find the poor old workin man at the bottom of  the  totem 
pole! 

We believe the Constitution so the politicians say 
And now ol' DeConcini wants to take our guns away 
They say it's for our own good they say it's for the best 
They believe in what they want to, and disregard the rest 

Now the leaders of this country just doin as they please 
And I hope the time is not too late just to get down on my knees 
Cause the devil's in the back room, the devil's in the hall 
The devil's been in Washington, havin himself a ball! 
 
****

TORCH SONG 
(for a Mad Scientist)                                    
Words: Georgie Schnobrich 
Music: "Back Home Again" by John Denver 
 
                     E             E7       A 
There's a swarm across the valley, crowds are movin' in, 
            B7                            E 
Though Igor bagged a dozen.. with a boulder... 
                           E7    A 
The village clods are angry at my last experiment, 
              B7                                       E 
And they mean to have our heads ere we're much older. 

          A                B7           E  E7 
CHORUS:   Guess it's time to move our lab again, (oooh no!) 
        A         B7                E                A 
     Sometimes all I gain seems hardly worth the pain, but - 
        B7                                E 
     On we'll flee to move the lab again. 

To pursue forbidden knowledge is the sweetest thing I know. 
It's the little things that make a cell a lab... 
Like electrodes sparking brightly, plasma in the fridge, 
And a Something squirming softly on the slab. 

CHORUS: 

     A      B7                   E             A  
Oh that I could lay this tired old body down! 
        F#m           B7                E    E7 
But we need spare parts of him for later. - 
      A              B7      E                  A 
Bodysnatching's hard in cold and dark graveyards 
          F#m         A              B7 
When corpses all turn out to be vampires! 

If it isn't fools with torches, it's rivals, priests and ghouls, 
And heroes.. who insist on being.. brave; 
Or electric storms off-schedule, or - little peasant girls! 
It's apparent that the situation's ... grave. 

CHORUS: 

They've got Igor in a tizzy, the glassware's gone to smash,  
And a castle's ... not an easy thing to find... 
So I may apply for funding as a "Genetic Engineer" 
And do all this.. through DNA.. recombined. 

FINAL CHORUS:Yes, it's time to move the lab again, ahh yes! 
             Next time all I gain won't need a stolen brain, and 
              Yes, it's time to move the lab again. 

****

WHAT TUNE IS THIS?
words by Bettie Dendekker and Bruce Holloway
tune: Greensleeves (what else?)

Which tune is it that's sung to death
And never lets you take a breath?
That's used for Filk and Christmas Carol,
or when a songsmith is o'er a barrel?

And wants a tune with easy rhymes,
that reminds you of those earlier times
when old King Henry conceived a plot
for reedy music to... overglot?

Alas, this aire has done no wrong,
to be used quite this discourteously,
We have all sung it late and long
And who but my lay, de Greensleeves?

- Bruce

copyright 1990 Bettie Dendekker and Bruce Holloway

****

(Not a song, but useful anyway)
The  following songfiles are available from DEUS EX  MACHINA  BBS 
114/29, 602-439-8070
 
TITLEPG.TXT    24147 Index    to   SONGS*.TXT   and    POEMS*.TXT 
                     (09/10/90) 
SONGS1.TXT     48995 General SCA songs FINISHED FILE! [09/10/90]
SONGS2.TXT     34314 Songs by Ioseph of Locksley UPDATED 09/10/90
SONGS3.TXT     47018 Trad. and Period Songs UPDATED 09/10/90 
SONGS4.TXT     57854 (More)  General  SCA  Songs  FINISHED  FILE! 
                     [09/10/90]
SONGS5.TXT     38668 Irish   and  Scots  Songs  Part  1   UPDATED 
                     09/10/90
SONGS6.TXT     27374 "Imperium Compound" UPDATED 09/10/90
SONGS7.TXT     32707 Irish   and  Scots  Songs  Part  2   UPDATED 
                     09/10/90
SONGS8.TXT      7192 "Imperium Compound" (Atenveldt verses only) 
SONGS9.TXT     13609 Even more yet SCA Songs UPDATED 09/10/90
SONGS10.TXT    13335 Real Old Time Religion UPDATED 09/10/90
BARDIC.ZIP    135733 The files SONGS*.* in one ZIP file 09/10/90
BARDIC2.ARC    33920 Vol.2 Black Book Of Locksley (FINISHED FILE)
SONGS-X.TXT    41435 Rowdy SCA Songs (UPDATED 09/10/90) 
SONGS-X2.TXT   33763 "Ball of Ballyknure" UPDATED 09/10/90 
SONGS-X3.TXT     251 Even more rowdy SCA songs (restricted file)
SONGS-X4.TXT   21978 "Waltz Me Around Again Hrothgar" (09\10\90) 
SONGS-X5.TXT   16294 "Songs Not Suitable For Anybody" (09\10\90) 
BAWDY.ZIP      40431 The  files  SONGS-X*.TXT  in  one  ZIP  file 
                     (09/10/90)
TRUDE.ZIP      36188 Mistress Sir Trude Lacklandia's Songbook (Pt 
                     A)
TRUDE1.TXT     49815 Part 1 of TRUDE.ZIP  (Trude Lacklandia)
TRUDE2.TXT     48362 Part 2 of TRUDE.ZIP  (Trude Lacklandia)
TRUDE3.TXT     14338 Part 3 of TRUDE.ZIP  (Trude Lacklandia)
CIORSTN1.TXT   11776 Songs from Ciorstan: Good Stuff! 
CIORSTN2.TXT   11136 More favorite songs, as promised! 
CIORSTAN.CMP  189184 Even  More  from  Ciorstan!   (word  perfect 
                     file)
SONGS.JON      61056 Songbook of Janos Throngcleaver, Troubador 
SONG.WAR        4608 Text  of  song  War Of The  Roses  by  Janos 
                     Throngcleaver 
SONGS-DH.TXT   18422 Songs of the Dark Horde
SONGS-JG.TXT   13345 Songs of Jean Guy (VERY strange!)
FFILE1.TXT     20787 Vol. 1
FFILE1.ZIP      9366 Above file in .ZIP format
FFILE2.TXT     24832 Vol. 2
FFILE2.ZIP     11058 Above file in .ZIP format
FFILE3.TXT     35192 Vol. 3
FFILE3.ZIP     13906 Above file in .ZIP format
FFILE4.TXT     26743 Vol. 4
FFILE4.ZIP     11563 Above file in .ZIP format
PYTHSONG.TXT    3712 Some songs from Monty Python! 
BRITSIDE.TXT    1536 Song:  "Always  Look On the Bright  Side  of 
                     Life!" 
BOUND.TXT       1629 Song: "Bound for Pennsic"
CAM2CAID.TXT     735 Song: "Salting the Slug"
DUBLIN.TXT      2772 Song: "Rocky Road To Dublin"
GUITAR.TXT     33460 Article on period fretted instruments 
MNGLROOF.TXT     858 Song: "A Mongol On The Roof!"
MAKEMAP.TXT      724 Funny song about events with wrong maps
ONREVELS.TXT    3776 Answer written to "Weapons At The Door."
SCRIBE.TXT      3672 Song: about scribes
STRMATEN.TXT     582 Song: "Streamlined Atenveldt"
TEMPUSAD.TXT    2147 Song: A spring carole
TOMORROW.TXT    1478 Song: "Tomorrow Belongs To Me!"
WARPOINT.TXT    2712 Song: about archery
WH101.TXT       2155 Song: "Welsh History 101"

The above from Joe Bethancourt (who else?)

--end file--
