                A Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List
                      (always open to new suggestions!)
                      
Taoism:                  Shit happens.
Confucianism:            Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism:                If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism:            Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2:         What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism:                This shit has happened before.
Islam:                   If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2:                If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3:                If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism:             If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism:           Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian:            This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian:            It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you
                         serve the right wine with it.
Congregationalist:       Shit that happens to one person is just as good as
                         shit that happens to another.
Unitarian:               Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as
                         shit that happens to another.
Lutheran:                If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism:          If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you
                         are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2:       If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3:       Shit must be born again.
Judaism:                 Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism:               Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism:   No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism:             God made all shit.
Secular Humanism:        Shit evolves.
Christian Science:       When shit happens, don't call a doctor -pray.
Christian Science #2:    Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism:            Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers:                 Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism:              This shit does not stink.
Darwinism:               This shit was once food.
Capitalism:              That's MY shit.
Communism:               It's everybody's shit.
Chauvanism:              We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism:           Let's package this shit.
Impressionism:           From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism:                 Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism:          Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2:       What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism:                This shit is good for me.
Hedonism:                There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism:               God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2:            This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan:                  An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology:             If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses:     May we have a moment of your time to show you some
                         of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #2:  Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the
                         righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies:                 Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna:            Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism:          Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism:          Shit happens half of the time.
Church of SubGenius:     BoB says "I don't have to take that shit!"
Practical:               Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic:                Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2:             Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3:             What is this shit?
Satanism:                SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism:                 What shit?
Atheism #2:              I can't believe this shit!
Atheism #3:              Sheeeeit.
Nihilism:                No shit.

