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                       |_____|at         |_|rax


                                  -of-

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                    |he    / /  / /  \ \  \ \
                          / /  / /    \ \  \ \
                         / /__/ /      \ \__\ \
                        / ___  /        \  ___ \
                       / /  / /          \ \  \ \
                      / /  / /            \ \  \ \
                     /_/  /_/ackin'        \_\  \_\oodlums


       |D
       | resents.......

          ___           ___                               ___
         |   \         |   \       \       /      /\     |__
         |___/         |___/        \  ^  /      |__|    |
         |    huking   |    holks    \/ \/ith    |  |    |one


that's....{Phucking Pholks With A Fone}

(c) June 19, 1985 by: The Hackin' Hoodlums



[+] Definitions [+]
    ^^^^^^^^^^^
Phuking:[fuh-king]:verb--1] The act of annoying, 2] Slang, [you know!]

Pholks:[fohlk-s]:noun--1] Ordinary, average citizens

Fone:[foh-n]:noun--1] An object [ab]used to communicate between one
                      person and another

}{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::}{

[+] Devices [+]
    ^^^^^^^
Devices needed to phuk [annoy] pholks [people] with a fone [object] are:

1]  A fone [preferably DTMF {touch-tone}]

  <+> Optional: <+>

1]  Apple Cat Modem
2]  "Distort" program
3]  The new "Beige Box"
4]  A person w/vioce of an adult [preferably NOT an adult]

}{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::}{

[+] Simple "fone phuking" [+]

1] Simply find the fone number of someone, be it: an enemy, a friend, a
random person, an operator, a jerk, a politician, someone in the public
eye, or whatever.

2] Dial their number.

3] Now you may choose one of the conversations:

  +---------------------+
  |  FP - Fone phuker   |
  |  LP - Loser person  |
  +---------------------+

  Call Kentuky Phried Chiken, and say...

FP: Excuse me, but if you don't mind my asking, how big are your breasts?

  Call anyone, and say...[preferably adult vioce]

LP: Hello.
FP: Hi, I'm from the Maytag company, and I am taking a survey concerning
    refrigerators. Would you mind if I asked a few simple questions?
LP: No. [hopefully!]
FP: Thank you. First, to start off with, is your refrigerator running?
    I'm sorry, but a mandatory question of ours.
LP: Well, yes, of course.
FP: THEN YA BETTER GO CATCH IT! HA, HA, HA!

...an oldie, but not really a goodie.

LP: Hello.
FP: Hello, I'm not sure about this number, but is there a John at this
    residence?
LP: No, I'm afraid you have the wrong number.
FP: WELL THEN HOW THE PHUK DO YOU TAKE A SHIT?!@? HA, HA, HA!

...an oldie, but I had to revive it.


 And now for the good stuph! Here's one I thought-up a while ago...

LP: Hello.
FP: Help me. Please help me!

  now, I've had a couple REALLY fall for this one, but don't expect
everyone to....usually women around 30-45. This is a close-to-accurate
reproduction of one of the best go-'rounds...[FP said in almost crying,
drawn-out manner...]

LP: Oh my! What happened? Where are you?
FP: I took a buncha pills. Can you help me? Pleeaase???
LP: How long ago did you take them?
FP: I don't know...I don't know....I feel awwful...
LP: Do you need an ambulance?
FP: Pleeaase help meee...
LP: I can't unless you answer some questions. Where are you?   [getting
                                                          phrustrated!]
FP: I'm at a party somewhere...I can barely hear you, soo many people
    are talking to mee at once....
LP: Where?
FP: I dooon't knoww...
LP: Oh my! Stay right there! Don't move, I'll call an ambulance if you
    tell me where you are!
          [You can cut it off now.....or keep going!...]
FP: HA, HA!! SUCKER! WHAT A SHITHEAD!!! LOZER!! HA, HA!!

  It seems cruel, but who carez??!!?? It's quite a laff!!!

Another favorite of mine to do to someone you hate indirectly. You post
on all the rad boards and AE's that this guys got a 25 meg. BBS with
on-line AE, Cat-Fur, and Cat-send, it's 300/1200 [and maybe 2400!] baud.
Spruce it up and put his number on it! Like:

Call!:>   The Wealthy Mans Warez BBS
          [123][456][789]                     <- jerk's number!
          40 meg.! 300/1200/2400 Baud!
          4 ports linked with a multiplexer!
          BBS/Cat-Fur/Cat-Send/AE!
          No time limit!
          And best of all....it's....FREE!!!!

Guaranteed calls here!


  Another way to get the guy is to write a simple program that will keep
calling his number. Run it all nite! That's a simple killer with guaran-
teed results!

}{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::}{

[+] More advanced pranking [+]

                   /> Distort & an Apple Cat <\

  With the use of an Apple Cat modem and a program called Distort, by
William The Kracker, one is able to reeaalllyy phuk pholks over!
  The program distorts a persons voice who is talking through the
handset into the Cat. The program can make the person sound like: a
robot, Mickey Mouse, they're underwater, or an alien. As you might have
guessed already, it can be quite phun.
  I like to use it quite often. When I call a phriends house and ask to
see if they're there and parent/relative replies that they aren't, I say,
"Thank you, bye" with my voice distorted like a robot or something [I'd
love to hear what they say afterwards I hang-up!]
  Another good time to use it is when you're a freshmen. When I was a
freshmen, seniors and such would chase the "frosh" in an attempt to throw
us in a certain lake. Well, one day I was hangin' around school when a
band of sophomores ["wise fools" in Greek!] tried to throw us in a car and
dump us in the lake. They didn't get me [whew!], but got some of the
others. That night, one of the "others" was at my house. We hauled out the
Cat and started calling 'em all with our voices distorted as if we were
underwater! I still wish I could have heard them when I hung-up... Well,
enough stories [I know you're bored!], on to some more pholk phuking!

                         /> Beige Boxes <\

  Well, it seems the newest thing in boxes is this new-fangled Beige Box.
It seems, [though I don't have one, heck, how many of you have a Bell
Switching System?] this Beige Box can allow you to call the operator and
not get traced! Pretty "!<00L", eh? Another thing you can do is listen
in on people's conversations! Wow! Wouldn't that be neat, listen to some
good stuph, and then break in! Like:

       +-------------+
       | JU - Junkie |
       | DE - Dealer |
       | YO - You    |
       +-------------+

JU: You got my 2 kilo.'s of Coke, man??  \
DE: The shipment comes in tomorrow.       > You're listening!
    It's at the shipyards.               /
YO: WOW! THAT'S NEAT! I'M TELLIN' THE COPS, HA, HA!!!!
  

 So, if in doubt while in the act of phuking someone over on the fone,
just remember, tell 'em [at-Trax sent ya!!

}{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::}{

Try and phuk us up by calling this number and gettin' yourself a pwrd!:
      __________________________________
      \    ___  . .        . .         /
       \    |he |-|acker's |-|ideout  /
        \                            /
         >    [206]--[265]--[MEOW]  <____________________________
        /                                                        \
       /     300->1200 Baud Tele-Cat   >>-} Soon to be H.B.B.S.!! >
      /__________________________________________________________/


=-==-=   []  []       []  []
  []     []==[]       []==[]          as of: 06/19/1985 are:
  []he   []  []ackin' []  []oodlums
                    .         _  ___
                    |_eader: |_at-|rax
                 _  .         _
                |_o-|_eader: |-ingers

/\gents:      ___                                      ___
------->       |he Spartan         /\/\r. DOS           |he /\larm
              ___                  ___
------->       |he Raven            |erminator          |_umpy


 _                 ___  . .       . .              _ _
|_opyright 1985 by: |he |-|ackin' |-|oodlum Press, _|_nc.
