
Climbing Phone Poles- Tips and techniques.    By The Mad Phone-man
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At one time or another, all of us have had to climb a phone pole or two in
the pursuit of our objective, be it a quick cable connection or a tap on an
enemys phone. These files are meant to help the novice avoid problems and or
death. 
First, who are the climbers? They can be divided into 2 categorys, the lineman
and the Ninja.
1) The lineman- Dresses like a lineman, down to the tool belt and hard hat. 
Climbs in the daytime and at worst has to fix an occasional bad cable drop for
some stupid housewife. (This is recommended since it won't cause as
much attention as having the bitch call the company and complain about the
snotty repairman...I have had to do it.)2) The Ninja- Climbs poles at night,
dresses in all black, and often is found either fried or impailed on fences.
The ninja has never used gaffs till the night he tries to climb a pole and 
proceeds to fall into a yard full of nasty doberman pincers. Once up pole,he
finds he left tools on ground.
 
Whats up there.
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Starting from the ground up the lines are aranged as follows:
First and closest to ground- Cable TV, recognized by open connections of coax
type cable to metal boxes out in open.
Next up is Phone- Connections are made in plastic or metal boxes. Connections
are usualy not exposed to enviroment.
Next up comes the first of the dangerous stuff, 110/220 house service. This is
 the first of POWER and can kill you. You can get zapped by comming in touch
with any frayed cable and the phone cable, the cable TV line or the ground
in the triplex service drop, all which are very well grounded for lightning
protection. A shock of this voltage may or may not kill you, but you will have
a long time to contemplate your Karma as your broken bones mend after the fall
to the parking lot below!
Above this is the first of the guarenteed lethal stuff, Industrial
 distribution, from 208 to 480 volts. They might look like 110/220 but they
will have 4 wires as opposed to 3 for the lesser voltages.
Lastly on the top- (where smart folks put the bad stuff) is the "High lines"
these vary from 4.8 to 13.5 Kilovolts, they are instant DEATH if even casualy
brushed, you will be SMOKING CHARRED REMAINS, and the fire department will
 probibaly remove your remains in the morning after the power crews turn off the
juice. I have seen a kid fried by 110,000 volts and he looked like a blackened 
tortilla chip.
 
Some other hazzards up there:
 Kissing the pole- If you have gaffs, practice with them, period! Keep them
 sharp and remember you are trusting your life to those small spikes. If you
gaff out at say 30' its like kissing a buzz saw sliding down the pole. In case
you havent looked at a pole lately, every time someone climbs it with gaffs
they create little splinters pointing up to puncture a faller. Of course theres
 also "free fall", which is nice to think about as the bone doctor removes
 your knees from under your chin. A freefall bellyflop causes all sorts of
 nice internal injurys, providing you are found before the shock of hitting 
the ground kills you.
Some misc. Injurys-
 I have seen a guys bicep ripped off and dangling from hitting a step peg in a
 free fall. Real impressive cuts can be had from nails, staples, and metal
signs sticking out of poles. And theres always the pack of doberman pincers you
didn't see when you went up, but are there licking their chops after you get
up there. Also consider that a lot of linemen are shot in getto neighborhoods
as the monkeys think they are there to disconnect their illegal cable hookup!
 
So what am I saying? If you got to climb a pole, do it right. Use the proper
 equipment and by all means, practice before you go up alone in the dark at
3AM. Borrow a belt, get familiar with the use of gaffs, and wear gloves.
 
Lets be careful out there!
 
TMPM
 

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