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                The Works of ROBERT G. INGERSOLL

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                             PREFACE

                              1880

     If what is known as the Christian Religion is true, nothing
can be more wonderful than the fact that Matthew, Mark and Luke say
nothing about "salvation by faith;" that they do not even hint at
the doctrine of the atonement, and are as silent as empty tombs as
to the necessity of believing anything to secure happiness in this
world or another.

     For a good many years it has been claimed that the writers, of
these gospels knew something about the teachings of Christ, and
had, at least, a general knowledge of the conditions of salvation.
It now seems to be substantiated that the early Christians did not
place implicit confidence in the gospels, and did not hesitate to
make such changes and additions as they thought proper. Such
changes and additions are about the only passages in the New
Testament that the Evangelical Churches now consider sacred. That
Portion of the last chapter of Mark, in which unbelievers are so
cheerfully and promptly damned, has been shown to be an
interpolation, and it is asserted that in the revised edition of
the New Testament, soon to be issued, the infamous passages will
not appear. With these expunged, there is not one word in Matthew,
Mark, or Luke, even tending to show that belief in Christ has, or
can have, any effect upon the destiny of the soul.

     The four gospels are the four corner-stones upon which rests
the fabric of orthodox Christianity. Three of these stones have
crumbled, and the fourth is not likely to outlast this generation.
The gospel of John cannot alone uphold the infinite absurdity of
vicarious virtue and vice, and it cannot, without the aid of
"interpolation," sustain the illogical and immoral dogma of
salvation by faith. These frightful doctrines must be abandoned;
the miraculous must be given up, the wonderful stories must be
expunged, and from the creed of noble deeds the forgeries of
superstition must be blotted out. From the temple of Morality and
Truth -- from the great windows towards the sun -- the parasitic
and poisonous vines of faith and fable must be torn.

     The church will be compelled at last to rest its case, not
upon the wonders Christ is said to have performed, but upon the
system of morality he taught. All the miracles, including the
resurrection and ascension, are, when compared with portions of the
"Sermon on the Mount," but dust and darkness.



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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     The careful reader of the New Testament will find three
Christs described: -- One who wished to preserve Judaism -- one who
wished to reform it, and one who built a system of his own. The
apostles and their disciples, utterly unable to comprehend a
religion that did away with sacrifices, churches, priests, and
creeds, constructed a Christianity for themselves, so that the
orthodox churches of to-day rest -- first, upon what Christ
endeavored to destroy -- second, upon what he never said, and,
third, upon a misunderstanding of what he did say. If a certain
belief is necessary to insure the salvation of the soul, the church
ought to explain, and without any unnecessary delay, why such an
infinitely important fact was utterly ignored by Matthew, Mark and
Luke. There are only two explanations possible. Either belief is
unnecessary, or the writers of these three Gospels did not
understand the Christian system. The "sacredness" of the subject
cannot longer hide the absurdity of the "scheme of salvation." nor
the failure of Matthew, Mark and Luke to mention what is now
claimed to have been the entire mission of Christ. The church must
take from the New Testament the supernatural; the idea that an
intellectual conviction can subject an honest man to eternal pain
-- the awful doctrine that the innocent can justly suffer for the
guilty, and allow the remainder to be discussed, denied or believed
without punishment and without reward. No one will object to the
preaching of kindness, honesty and justice. To preach less is a
crime, and to practice more is impossible.

     There is one thing that ought to be again impressed upon the
average theologian, and that is the utter futility of trying to
answer arguments with personal abuse. It should be understood once
for all that these questions are in no sense personal. If it should
turn out that all the professed Christians in the world are sinless
saints, the question of how Matthew, Mark, and Luke, came to say
nothing about the atonement and the scheme of salvation by faith,
would still be asked. And if it should then be shown that all the
doubters, deists, and atheists, are vile and vicious wretches, the
question still would wait for a reply.

     The origin of all religions, creeds, and sacred books, is
substantially the same, and the history of one, is, in the main,
the history of all. Thus far these religions have been the mistaken
explanations of our surroundings. The appearances of nature have
imposed upon the ignorance and fear of man. But Back of all honest
creeds was, and is, the desire to know, to understand, and to
explain, and that desire will, as I most fervently hope and
earnestly believe, be gratified at last by the discovery of the
truth. Until then, let us bear with the theories, hopes, dreams,
mistakes, and honest thoughts of all.

                                             Robert G. Ingersoll.
          Washington, D.C.
               October, 1880

                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     "THE NUREMBERG MAN WAS OPERATED BY A COMBINATION OF PIPES AND
LEVERS, AND THOUGH HE COULD BREATHE AND DIGEST PERFECTLY, AND EVEN
REASON AS WELL AS MOST THEOLOGIANS, WAS MADE OF NOTHING BUT WOOD 
AND LEATHER."

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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     The whole world has been filled with fear. Ignorance has been
the refuge of the soul. For thousands of years the intellectual
ocean was ravaged by the buccaneers of reason. Pious souls clung to
the shore and looked at the lighthouse. The seas were filled with
monsters and the islands with sirens. The people were driven in the
middle of a narrow road while priests went before, beating the
hedges on either side to frighten the robbers from their lairs. The
poor followers seeing no robbers, thanked their brave leaders with
all their hearts.

     Huddled in folds they listened with wide eyes while the
shepherds told of ravening wolves. With great gladness they
exchanged their fleeces for security. Shorn and shivering, they had
the happiness of seeing their protectors comfortable and warm.

     Through all the years, those who plowed divided with those who
prayed. Wicked industry supported pious idleness, the hut gave to
the cathedral, and frightened poverty gave even its rags to buy a
robe for hypocrisy.

     Fear is the dungeon of the mind, and superstition is a dagger
with which hypocrisy assassinates the soul. Courage is liberty. I
am in favor of absolute freedom of thought. In the realm of mind
every one is monarch; every one is robed, sceptered, and crowned,
and every one wears the Purple of authority. I belong to the
republic of intellectual liberty, and only those are good citizens
of that republic who depend upon reason and upon persuasion, and
only those are traitors who resort to brute force.

     Now, I beg of you all to forget just for a few moments that
you are Methodists or Baptists or Catholics or Presbyterians, and
let us for an hour or two remember only that we are men and women.
And allow me to say "man" and "woman" are the highest titles that
can be bestowed upon humanity.

     Let us, if possible, banish all fear from the mind. Do not
imagine that there is some being in the infinite expanse who is not
willing that every man and woman should think for himself and
herself, Do not imagine that there is any being who would give to
his children the holy torch of reason, and then damn them for
following that sacred light. Let us have courage.

     Priests have invented a crime called "blasphemy," and behind
that crime hypocrisy has crouched for thousands of years. There is
but one blasphemy, and that is injustice. There is but one worship,
and that is Justice!

     You need not fear the anger of a god that you cannot injure.
Rather fear to injure your fellow-men. Do not be afraid of a crime
you can not commit. Rather be afraid of the one that you may
commit. The reason that you cannot injure God is that the Infinite
is conditionless. You cannot increase or diminish the happiness of
any being without changing that being's condition. If God is
conditionless, you can neither injure nor benefit him.





                         Bank of Wisdom
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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     Their was a Jewish gentleman went into a restaurant to get his
dinner, and the devil of temptation whispered in his ear: "Eat some
bacon." He knew if there was anything in the universe calculated to
excite the wrath of an infinite being, who made every shining star,
it was to see a gentleman eating bacon. He knew it, and he knew the
infinite being was looking, that he was the eternal eavesdropper of
the universe. But his appetite got the better of his conscience, as
it often has with us all, and he ate that bacon. He knew it was
wrong, and his conscience felt the blood of shame in its cheek.
When he went into that restaurant the weather was delightful, the
sky was as blue as June, and when he came out the sky was covered
with angry clouds, the lightning leaping from one to the other, and
the earth shaking beneath the voice of the thunder. He went back
into that restaurant with a face as white as milk, and he said to
one of the keepers:

     "My God, did you ever hear such a fuss about a little piece of
bacon?"

     As long as we harbor such opinions of infinity; as long as we
imagine the heavens to be filled with such tyranny, just so long
the sons of men will be cringing, intellectual cowards. Let us
think, and let us honestly express our thought.

     Do not imagine for a moment that I think people who disagree
with me are bad people. I admit, and I cheerfully admit, that a
very large proportion of mankind, and a very large majority, a vast
number are reasonably honest. I believe that most Christians
believe what they teach; that most ministers are endeavoring to
make this world better. I do not pretend to be better than they
are. It is an intellectual question. It is a question, first, of
intellectual liberty, and after that, a question to be settled at
the bar of human reason. I do not pretend to be better than they
are. Probably I am a good deal worse than many of them, but that is
not the question. The question is: Bad as I am, have I the right to
think? And I think I have for two reasons:

     First, I cannot help it. And secondly, I like it.

     The whole question is right at a point. If I have not a right
to express my thoughts, who has?

     "Oh," they say, "we will allow you to think, we will not burn
you."

     "All right; why won't you burn me?"

     "Because we think a decent man will allow others to think and
to express his thought."

     "Then the reason you do not persecute me for my thought is
that you believe it would be infamous in you?"

     "Yes."

     "And yet you worship a God who will, as you declare, punish me
forever?"


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     Surely an infinite God ought to be as just as man. Surely no
God can have the right to punish his children for being honest. He
should not reward hypocrisy with heaven, and punish candor with
eternal pain.

     The next question then is: Can I commit a sin against God by
thinking? If God did not intend I should think, why did he give me
a thinker? For one, I am convinced, not only that I have the right
to think, but that it is my duty to express my honest thoughts.
Whatever the gods may say we must be true to ourselves.

     We have got what they call the Christian system of religion,
and thousands of people wonder how I can be wicked enough to attack
that system.

     There are many good things about it, and I shall never attack
anything that I believe to be good! I shall never fear to attack
anything I honestly believe to be wrong! We have what they call the
Christian religion, and I find, Just in proportion that nations
have been religious, just in the proportion they have clung to the
religion of their founders, they have gone back to barbarism. I
find that Spain, Portugal, Italy, are the three worst nations in
Europe. I find that the nation nearest infidel is the most
prosperous -- France.

     And so I say there can be no danger in the exercise of
absolute intellectual freeborn. I find among ourselves the men who
think are at least as good as those who do not.

     We have, I say, a Christian system, and that system is founded
upon what they are pleased to call the "New Testament." Who wrote
the New Testament? I do not know. Who does know? Nobody. We have
found many manuscripts containing portions of the New Testament.
Some of these manuscripts leave out five or six books -- many of
them. Others more; others less. No two of these manuscripts agree.
Nobody knows who wrote these manuscripts. They are all written in
Greek. The disciples of Christ, so far as we know, knew only
Hebrew. Nobody ever saw, so far as we know, one of the original
Hebrew manuscripts.

     Nobody ever saw anybody who had seen anybody who had heard of
anybody that had ever seen anybody that had ever seen one of the
original Hebrew manuscripts. No doubt the clergy of your city have
told you these facts thousands of times, and they will be obliged
to me for having repeated them once more. These manuscripts are
written in what are called capital Greek letters. They are called
Uncial manuscripts, and the New Testament was not divided into
chapters and verses, even, until the year of grace 1551. In the
original the manuscripts and gospels are signed by nobody. The
epistles are addressed to nobody; and they are signed by the same
person. All the addresses, all the pretended ear-marks showing to
whom they were written, and by whom they were written, are simply
interpolations, and everybody who has studied the subject knows it.

     It is further admitted that even these manuscripts have not
been properly translated, and they have a syndicate now making a
new translation; and I suppose that I can not tell weather I really
believe the New Testament or not until I see that new translation.

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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     You must remember, also, one other thing. Christ never wrote
a solitary word of the New Testament -- not one word. There is an
account that he once stooped and wrote something in the sand, but
that has not been preserved. He never told anybody to write a word.
He never said: "Matthew, remember this. Mark, do not forget to put
that down. Luke, be sure that in your gospel you have this. John,
do not forget it." Not one word. And it has always seemed to me
that a being coming from another world, with a message of infinite
importance to mankind, should at least have verified that message
by his own signature. Is it not wonderful that not one word was
written by Christ? Is it not strange that he gave no orders to have
his words preserved -- words upon which hung the salvation of a
world?

     Why was nothing written? I will tell you. In my Judgment they
expected the end of the world in a few days. That generation was
not to pass away until the heavens should be rolled up as a scroll,
and until the earth should melt with fervent heat. That was their
belief. They believed that the world was to be destroyed, and that
there was to be another coming, and that the saints were then to
govern the earth. And they even went so far among the apostles, as
we frequently do now before election, as to divide out the offices
in advance. This Testament, as it now is, was not written for
hundreds of years after the apostles were dust. Many of the
pretended facts lived in the open mouth of credulity, They were in
the wastebaskets of forgetfulness. They depended upon the
inaccuracy of legend, and for centuries these doctrines and stories
were blown about by the inconstant winds. And when reduced to
writing, some gentleman would write by the side of the passage his
idea of it, and the next copyist would put that in as a part of the
text. And, when it was mostly written, and the church got into
trouble, and wanted a passage to help it out, one was interpolated
to order. So that now it is among the easiest things in the world
to pick out at least one hundred interpolations in the Testament.
And I will pick some of them out before I get through.

     And let me say here, once for all, that for the man Christ I
have infinite respect. Let me say, once for all, that the place
where man has died for man is holy ground. And let me say, once for
all, that to that great and serene man I gladly pay, I gladly pay,
the tribute of my admiration and my tears. He was a reformer in his
day. He was an infidel in his time. He was regarded as a
blasphemer, and his life was destroyed by hypocrites, who have, in
all ages, done what they could to trample freedom and manhood out
of the human mind. Had I lived at that time I would have been his
friend, and should he come again he will not find a better friend
than I will be.

     That is for the man. For the theological creation I have a
different feeling. If he was, in fact, God, he knew there was no
such thing as death. He knew that what we called death was but the
eternal opening of the golden gates of everlasting joy; and it took
no heroism to face a death that was eternal life.

     But when a man, when a poor boy sixteen years of age, goes
upon the field of battle to keep his flag in heaven, not knowing
but that death ends all; not knowing but that when the shadows 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

creep over him, the darkness will be eternal, there is heroism. For
the man who, in the darkness, said: "My God, why hast thou forsaken
me?" -- for that man I have nothing but respect, admiration, and
love. Back of the theological shreds, rags, and patches, hiding the
real Christ, I see a genuine man.

     A while ago I made up my mind to find out what was necessary
for me to do in order to be saved. If I have got a soul, I want it
saved. I do not wish to lose anything that is of value.

     For thousands of years the world has been asking that
question:

     "What must we do to be saved?"

     Saved from poverty? No. Saved from crime? No. Tyranny? No. But
"What must we do to be saved from the eternal wrath of the God who
made us all?"

     If God made us, he will not destroy us. Infinite wisdom never
made a poor investment, Upon all the works of an infinite God, a
dividend must finally be declared. Why should God make failures?
Why should he waste material? Why should he not correct his
mistakes, instead of damning them? The pulpit has cast a shadow
over even the cradle. The doctrine of endless punishment has
covered the cheeks of this world with tears. I despise it, and I
deny it.

     I made up my mind, I say, to see what I had to do in order to
save my soul according to the Testament, and thereupon I read it.
I read the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and found that
the church had been deceiving me. I found that the clergy did not
understand their own book; that they had been building upon
passages that had been interpolated; upon passages that were
entirely untrue, and I will tell you why I think so.

                               II

                      THE GOSPEL OF MATTHEW

     ACCORDING to the church, the first gospel was written by
Matthew. As a matter of fact he never wrote a word of it -- never
saw it, never heard of it and probably never will. But for the
purposes of this lecture I admit that he wrote it. I will admit
that he was with Christ for three years; that he was his constant
companion; that he shared his sorrows and his triumphs: that he
heard his words by the lonely lakes, the barren hill, in synagogue
and street, and that he knew his heart and became acquainted with
his thoughts and aims.

     Now let us see what Matthew says we must do in order to be
saved. And I take it that, if this is true, Matthew is as good
authority as any minister in the world.

     The first thing I find. upon the subject of salvation is in
the fifth chapter of Matthew, and is embraced in what is commonly
known as the Sermon on the Mount. It is as follows:


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of
heaven." Good!

     "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good!
Whether they belonged to any church or not; whether they believed
the Bible or not?

     "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good!

     "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children
of God. Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness
sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Good!

     In the same sermon he says: "Think not that I am come to
destroy the law or the prophets. I am not come to destroy, but to
fulfill." And then he makes use of this remarkable language, almost
as applicable to-day as it was then: "For I say unto you that
except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the
scribes and Pharisees ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of
heaven." Good!

     In the sixth chapter I find the following, and it comes
directly after the prayer known as the Lord's prayer: "For if ye
forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also
forgive you; but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither
will your father forgive your trespasses."

     I accept the condition. There is an offer; I accept it. If you
will forgive men that trespass against you, God will forgive your
trespasses against him. I accept the terms, and I never will ask
any God to treat me better than I treat my fellow-men. There is a
square promise. There is a contract. If you will forgive others God
will forgive you. And it does not say you must believe in the Old
Testament, or be baptized, or join the church, or keep Sunday; that
you must count beads, or pray, or become a nun, or a priest; that
you must preach sermons or hear them, build churches or fill them.
Not one word is said about eating or fasting, denying or believing.
It simply says, if you forgive others God will forgive you; and it
must of necessity be true. No god could afford to damn a forgiving
man. Suppose God should damn to everlasting fire a man so great and
good, that he, looking from the abyss of hell, would forgive God,
-- how would a god feel then?

     Now let me make myself plain upon one subject, perfectly
plain. For instance, I hate Presbyterianism, but I know hundreds of
splendid Presbyterians. Understand me. I hate Methodism, and yet I
know hundreds of splendid Methodists. I hate Catholicism, and like
Catholics. I hate insanity but not the insane.

     I do not war against men. I do not war against persons. I war
against certain doctrines that I believe to be wrong. But I give to
every other man-being every right that I claim for myself.

     The next thing that I find is in the seventh chapter and the
second verse: "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged;
and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." 
Good! That suits me!

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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     And in the twelfth chapter of Matthew: "For whosoever shall do
the will of my Father that is in heaven, the same is my brother and
sister and mother. For the son of man shall come in the glory of
his father with his angels, and then he shall reward every man
according ..." To the church he belongs to? No. To the manner in
which he was baptized? No. According to his creed? No. "Then he
shall reward every man according to his works." Good! I subscribe
to that doctrine.

     And in the eighteenth chapter: "And Jesus called a little
child to him and stood him in the midst; and said, 'Verily I say
unto you, except ye be converted and become as little children, ye
shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.'" I do not wonder that
in his day, surrounded by scribes and Pharisees, he turned lovingly
to little children.

     And yet, see what children the little children of God have
been. What an interesting dimpled darling John Calvin was. Think of
that prattling babe, Jonathan Edwards! Think of the infants that
founded the Inquisition, that invented instruments of torture to
tear human flesh. They were the ones who had become as little
children. They were the children of faith.

     So I find in the nineteenth chapter: "And behold, one came and
said unto him: 'Good master, what good thing shall I do that I may
have eternal life?' And he said unto him, 'Why callest thou me
good? There is none good but one, that is God: but if thou wilt
enter into life, keep the commandments.' He saith unto him,
'which?'"

     Now, there is a fair issue. Here is a child of God asking God
what is necessary for him to do in order to inherit eternal life.
And God said to him: Keep the commandments. And the child said to
the Almighty: "Which?" Now, if there ever has been an opportunity
given to the Almighty to furnish a man of an inquiring mind with
the necessary information upon that subject, here was the
opportunity. "He said unto him, which? And Jesus said: Thou shalt
do no murder; thou shalt not commit adultery; thou shalt not steal;
thou shalt not bear false witness; honor thy father and mother; and
thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

     He did not say to him: "You must believe in me -- that I am
the only begotten son of the living God." He did not say: "You must
be born again." He did not say: "You must believe the Bible." He
did not say: "You must remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy."
He simply said: "Thou shalt do no murder. Thou shalt not commit
adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness.
Honor thy father and thy mother; and thou shalt love thy neighbor
as thyself." And thereupon the young man, who I think was mistaken,
said unto him: "All these things have I kept from my youth up."

     What right has the church to add conditions of salvation? Why
should we suppose that Christ failed to tell the young man all that
was necessary for him to do? Is it possible that he left out some
important thing simply to mislead? Will some minister tell us why
he thinks that Christ kept back the "scheme"?



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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     Now comes an interpolation. In the old times when the church
got a little scarce of money, they always put in a passage praising
poverty. So they had this young man ask: "What lack I yet? And
Jesus said unto him: If thou wilt be perfect, go, and sell that
thou hast and give to, the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in
heaven."

     The church has always been willing to swap off treasures in
heaven for cash down. And when the next verse was written the
church must have been nearly bankrupt. "And again I say unto you,
it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for
a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God." Did you ever know a
wealthy disciple to unload on account of that verse?

     And then comes another verse, which I believe is an
interpolation: "And everyone that hath forsaken houses, or
brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children,
or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundred fold, and
shall inherit everlasting life."

     Christ never said it. Never. "Whosoever shall forsake father
and mother."

     Why, he said to this man that asked him, "What shall I do to
inherit eternal life?" among other things, he said: "Honor thy
father and thy mother." And we turn over the page and he says
again: "If you will desert your father and mother you shall have
everlasting life." It will not do. If you will desert your wife and
your little children, or your lands -- the idea of putting a house
and lot on equality with wife and children! Think of that! I do not
accept the terms. I will never desert the one I love for the
promise of any god.

     It is far more important to love your wife than to love God,
and I will tell you why. You cannot help him, but you can help her.
You can fill her life with the perfume of perpetual joy. It is far
more important that you love your children than that you love Jesus
Christ. And why? If he is God you cannot help him, but you can
plant a little flower of happiness in every footstep of the child,
from the cradle until you die in that child's arms. Let me tell you
to-day it is far more important to build a home than to erect a
church. The holiest temple beneath the stars is a home that love
has built. And the holiest altar in all the wide world is the
fireside around which gather father and mother and the sweet babes.

     There was a time when people believed the infamy commanded in
this frightful passage. There was a time when they did desert
fathers and mothers and wives and children. St. Augustine says to
the devotee: Fly to the desert, and though your wife put her arms
around your neck, tear her hands away; she is a temptation of the
devil. Though your father and mother throw their bodies athwart
your threshold, step over them; and though your children pursue,
and with weeping eyes beseech you to return, listen not. It is the
temptation of the evil one. Fly to the desert and save your soul.
Think of such a soul being worth saving. While I live I propose to
stand by the ones I love.



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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     There is another condition of salvation. I find it in the
twenty-fifth chapter: "Then shall the King say unto them on his
right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom
prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was an
hungered and ye gave me meat; I was thirsty and ye gave me drink;
I was a stranger and ye took me in; naked and ye clothed me; I was
sick and ye visited me; I was in prison and ye came unto me." Good!

     I tell you to-night that God will not punish with eternal
thirst the man who has put the cup of cold water to the lips of his
neighbor. God will not leave in the eternal nakedness of pain the
man who has clothed his fellow-men.

     For instance, here is a shipwreck, and here is some brave
sailor who stands aside and allows a woman whom he never saw before
to take his place in the boat, and he stands there, grand and
serene as the wide sea, and he goes down. Do you tell me that
there's any God who will push the lifeboat from the shore of
eternal life, when that man wishes to step in? Do you tell me that
God can be unpitying to the pitiful, that he can be unforgiving to
the forgiving? I deny it; and from the aspersions of the pulpit I
seek to rescue the reputation of the Deity.

     Now, I have read you substantially everything in Matthew on
the subject of salvation. That is all there is. Not one word about
believing anything. It is the gospel of deed, the gospel of
charity, the gospel of self-denial; and if only that gospel had
been preached, persecution never would have shed one drop of blood.
Not one.

     According to the testimony Matthew was well acquainted with
Christ. According to the testimony, he had been with him, and his
companion for years, and if it was necessary to believe anything in
order to get to heaven, Matthew should have told us. But he forgot
it, or he did not believe it, or he never heard of it. You can take
your choice.

     In Matthew, we find that heaven is promised, first, to the
poor in spirit. Second, to the merciful. Third, to the pure in
heart. Fourth, to the peacemakers. Fifth, to those who are
persecuted for righteousness' sake. Sixth, to those who keep and
teach the commandments. Seventh, to, those who forgive men that
trespass against them. Eighth, that we will be Judged as we Judge
others. Eighth, that they who receive prophets and righteous men
shall receive a prophet's reward. Tenth, to those who do the will
of God. Eleventh, that every man shall be rewarded according to his
works. Twelfth, to those who become as little children. Thirteenth,
to those who forgive the trespasses of others. Fourteenth, to the,
perfect: they who sell all that they have and give to the poor.
Fifteenth, to them who forsake houses, and brethren, and sisters,
and father, and mother, and wife, and children, and lands for the
sake of Christ's name, sixteenth, to those who feed the hungry,
give drink to the thirsty, shelter to the stranger, clothes to the
naked, comfort to the sick, and who visit the prisoner.

     Nothing else is said with regard to salvation in the gospel
according to St. Matthew. Not one word about believing the Old 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

Testament to have been inspired; not one word about being baptized
or joining a church; not one word about believing in any miracle;
not even a hint that it was necessary to believe that Christ was
the son of God, or that he did any wonderful or miraculous things,
or that he was born of a virgin, or that his coming had been
foretold by the Jewish prophets. Not one word about believing in
the Trinity, or in foreordination or predestination. Matthew had
not understood from Christ that any such things were necessary to
ensure the salvation of the soul.

     According to the testimony, Matthew had been in the company of
Christ, some say three years and some say one, but at least he had
been with him long enough to find out some of his ideas upon this
great subject. And yet Matthew never got the impression that it was
necessary to believe something in order to get to heaven. He
supposed that if a man forgave others God would forgive him; he
believed that God would show mercy to the merciful; that he would
not allow those who fed the hungry to starve; that he would not put
in the flames of hell those who had given cold water to the
thirsty; that he would not cast into the eternal dungeon of his
wrath those who had visited the imprisoned; and that he would not
damn men who forgave others.

     Matthew had it in his mind that God would treat us very much
as we treated other people; and that in the next world he would
treat with kindness those who had been loving and gentle in their
lives. It may be the apostle was mistaken; but evidently it was his
opinion.

                               IV

                       THE GOSPEL OF MARK

     Let us now see what Mark thought it necessary for a man to do
to save his soul. In the fourth chapter, after Jesus had given to
the multitude by the sea the parable of the sower, his disciples,
when they were again alone, asked him the meaning of the parable.
Jesus replied:

     "Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of
God: but unto them that are Without, all these things are done in
parables.

     "That seeing, they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they
may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be
converted, and their sins should be forgiven them."

     It is a little hard to understand why he should have preached
to people that he did not intend should know his meaning. Neither
is it quite clear why he objected to their being converted. This,
I suppose, is one of the mysteries that we should simply believe
without endeavoring to comprehend.

     With the above exception, and one other that I will mention
hereafter, Mark substantially agrees with Matthew, and says that
God will be merciful to the merciful, that he will be kind to the
kind, that he will pity the pitying, and love the loving. Mark 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

upholds the religion of Matthew until we come to the fifteenth and
sixteenth verses of the sixteenth chanter, and then I strike an
interpolation put in by hypocrisy, put in by priests who longed to
grasp with bloody hands the scepter of universal power. Let me read
it to you. It is the most infamous passage in the Bible. Christ
never said it. No sensible man ever said it.

     "And He said unto them" (that is, unto his disciples), "go ye
into, all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He
that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that
believeth not shall be damned."

     That passage was written so that fear would give alms to
hypocrisy. Now, I propose to prove to you that this is an
interpolation. How will I do it? In the first place, not one word
is said about belief, in Matthew. In the next place. not one word
about belief, in Mark, until I come to that verse, and where is
that said to have beer spoken? According to Mark, it is a part of
the last conversation of Jesus Christ, -- just before, according to
the account, he ascended bodily before their eyes. If there ever
was any important thing happened in this world that was it. If
there is any conversation that people would be apt to recollect, it
would be the last conversation with a god before he rose visibly
through the air and seated himself upon the throne of the infinite.
We have in this Testament five accounts of the last conversation
happening between Jesus Christ and his apostles. Matthew gives it,
and yet Matthew does not state that in that conversation Christ
said: "Whoso believeth and is baptized shall be saved, and whoso
believeth not shall be damned." And if he did say those words they
were the most important that ever fell from lips. Matthew did not
hear it, or did not believe it, or forgot it.

     Then I turn to Luke, and he gives an account of this same last
conversation, and not one word does he say upon that subject. Luke
does not pretend that Christ said that whoso believeth not shall be
damned. Luke certainly did not hear it. Maybe he forgot it. Perhaps
he did not think that it was worth recording. Now, it is the most
important thing, if Christ said it, that he ever said.

     Then I turn to John, and he gives an account of the last
conversation, but not one solitary word on the subject of belief or
unbelief. Not one solitary word on the subject of damnation. Not
one. John might not have been listening.

     Then I turn to the first chapter of the Acts, and there I find
an account of the last conversation; and in that conversation there
is not one word upon this subject. This is a demonstration that the
passage in Mark is an interpolation. What other reason have I got?
There is not one particle of sense in it. Why? No man can control
his belief. You hear evidence for and against, and the integrity of
the soul stands at the scales and tells which side rises and which
side falls. You can not believe as you wish. You must believe as
you must. And he might as well have said. "Go into the world and
preach the gospel, and whosoever has red hair shall be saved, and
whosoever hath not shall be damned."




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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     I have another reason. I am much obliged to the gentleman who
interpolated these passages. I am much obliged to him that he put
in some more -- two more. Now hear:

     "And these signs shall follow them that believe "Good!

     "In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with
new tongues; they shall take up serpents, and if they drink any
deadly thing it shall not hurt them. They shall lay hands on the
sick and they shall recover."

     Bring on your believer! Let him cast out a devil. I do not ask
for a large one. Just a little one for a cent. Let him take up
serpents. "And if they drink any deadly thing it shall not hurt
them." Let me mix up a dose for the believer, and if it does not
hurt him I will join a church. "Oh! but," they say, "those things
only lasted through the Apostolic age." Let us see. "Go into all
the world and preach the gospel, and whosoever believes and is
baptized shall be saved, and these signs shall follow them that
believe."

     How long? I think at least until they had gone into all the
world. Certainly those signs should follow until all the world had
been visited. And yet if that declaration was in the mouth of
Christ, he then knew that one-half of the world was unknown, and
that he would be dead fourteen hundred and fifty-nine years before
his disciples would know that there was another continent. And yet
he said, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel," and he knew
then that it would be fourteen hundred and fifty-nine years before
anybody could go. Well, if it was worth while to have signs follow
believers in the Old World, surely it was worth while to have signs
follow believers in the New. And the very reason that signs should
follow would be to convince the unbeliever, and there are as many
unbelievers now as ever, and the signs are as necessary to-day as
they ever were. I would like a few myself.

     This frightful declaration, "He that believeth and is baptized
shall be saved, but he that believeth not shall be damned," has
filled the world with agony and crime. Every letter of this passage
has been sword and fagot; every word has been dungeon and chain.
That passage made the sword of persecution drip with innocent blood
through centuries of agony and crime. That passage made the horizon
of a thousand years lurid with the fagot's flames. That passage
contradicts the Sermon on the Mount; travesties the Lord's prayer;
turns the splendid religion of deed and duty into the superstition
of creed and cruelty. I deny it. It is infamous! Christ never said
it.

                               IV

                       THE GOSPEL OF LUKE.

     It is sufficient to say that Luke agrees substantially with
Matthew and Mark.

     "Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful."
Good!


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     "Judge not and ye shall not be Judged: condemn not and ye
shall not be condemned: forgive and ye shall be Forgiven." Good!

     "Give and it shall be given unto you: good measure, pressed
down, and shaken together, and running over." Good! I like it.

     "For with the same measure that ye mete withal, it shall be
measured to you again."

     He agrees substantially with Mark; he agrees substantially
with Matthew; and I come at last to the nineteenth chapter.

     "And Zaccheus stood and said unto the Lord, 'Behold, Lord, the
half of my goods I give to the poor, and if I have taken anything
from any man by false accusation, I restore him four fold.' And
Jesus said unto him, 'this day is salvation come to this house.

     That is good doctrine. He did not ask Zaccheus what he
believed. He did not ask him, "Do you believe in the Bible? Do you
believe in the five points? Have you ever been baptized --
sprinkled? Oh! immersed? "Half of my goods I give to the poor, and
if I have taken anything from any man by false accusation, I
restore him four fold." "And Christ said, this day is salvation
come to this house." Good!

     I read also in Luke that Christ when upon the cross forgave
his murderers, and that is considered the shining gem in the crown
of his mercy. He forgave his murderers. He forgave the men who
drove the nails in his hands, in his feet, that plunged a spear in
his side; the soldier that in the hour of death offered him in
mockery the bitterness to drink. He forgave them all freely, and
yet. although he would forgive them, he will in the nineteenth
century, as we are told by the orthodox church, damn to eternal
fire a noble man for the expression of his honest thoughts. That
will not do. I find, too, in Luke, an account of two thieves that
were crucified at the same time. The other gospels speak of them.
One says they both railed upon him. Another says nothing about it.
In Luke we are told that one railed upon him, but one of the
thieves looked and pitied Christ, and Christ said to that thief:

     "To-day shalt thou be with me in Paradise."

     Why did he say that? Because the thief pitied him. God can not
afford to trample beneath the feet of his infinite wrath the
smallest blossom of pity that ever shed its perfume in the human
heart!

     Who was this thief? To what church did he belong? I do not
know. The fact that he was a thief throws no light on that
question. Who was he? What did he believe? I do not know. Did he
believe in the Old Testament? In the miracles? I do not know. Did
he believe that Christ was God? I do not know. Why then was the
promise made to him that he should meet Christ in Paradise? Simply
because he pitied suffering innocence upon the cross.

     God can not afford to damn any man who is capable of pitying
anybody.


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

                                V

                       THE GOSPEL OF JOHN.

     And now we come to John, and that is where the trouble
commences.

     The other gospels teach that God will be merciful to the
merciful, forgiving to the forgiving, kind to the kind, loving to
the loving, Just to the just, merciful to the good.

     Now we come to John, and here is another doctrine. And allow
me to say that John was not written until long after the others.
John was mostly written by the church.

     "Jesus answered and said unto him: verily, verily, I say unto
thee, Except a man be born again he can not see the kingdom of
God."

     Why did he not tell Matthew that? Why did he not tell Luke
that? Why did he not tell Mark: that? They never heard of it, or
forgot it, or they did not believe it.

     "Except a man be born of water and of the spirit, he can not
enter into the kingdom of God." Why?

     "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is
born of the Spirit is spirit. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye
must be born again." "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and
that which is born of the Spirit is spirit," and he might have
added, that which is born of water is water.

     "Marvel not that I said unto thee, 'ye must be born again.'"
And then the reason is given, and I admit I did not understand it
myself until I read the reason, and when you hear the reason, you
will understand it as well as I do; and here it is: "The wind
bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but
canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth." So, I find
in the book of John the idea of the Real Presence.

     "And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so
must the Son of man be lifted up;"

     "That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have
eternal life."

     "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten
Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have
everlasting life,"

     "For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world,
but that the world through him might be saved."

     "He that believeth on him is not condemned; but he that
believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in
the name of the only begotten Son of God."



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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he
that believeth not the Son, shall not see life; but the wrath of
God abideth on him."

     "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and
believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not
come into condemnation: but is passed from death unto life."

     "Verily, verily, I say unto you, the hour is coming, and now
is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God; and they
that hear shall live."

     "And shall come forth; they that have done good unto the
resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the
resurrection of damnation."

     "And this is the will of him that sent me, that everyone which
seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life; and
I will raise him up at the last day."

     "No man can come to me, except the Father, which hath sent me,
draw him; and I will raise him up at the last day."

     "Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that believeth on me hath
everlasting life."

     "I am that bread of life."

     "Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead."

     "This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man
may eat thereof, and not die."

     "I am the living bread which came down from heaven. If any man
eat of this bread he shall live forever; and the bread that I will
give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world."

     "Then Jesus said unto them, verily, verily, I say unto you,
except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, ye
have no life in you."

     "Whoso eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood, hath eternal
life; and I will raise him up at the last day."

     "For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed."

     "He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in
me, and I in him."

     "As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father;
so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me."

     "This is that bread which came down from heaven; not as your
fathers did eat manna, and are dead; he that eateth of this bread
shall live forever."

     "And he said, Therefore said I unto you, that no man can come
unto me, except it were given unto him of my Father."

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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     "Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection and the life; he
that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live."

     "And whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die."

     "He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his
life in this world, shall keep it unto life eternal."

     So I find in the book of John, that in order to be saved we
must not only believe in Jesus Christ, but we must eat the flesh
and we must drink the blood of Jesus Christ. If that gospel is
true, the Catholic Church is right. But it is not true. I can not
believe it, and yet for all that, it may be true. But I do not
believe it. Neither do I believe there Is any god in the universe
who will damn a man simply for expressing his belief.

     "Why," they say to me, "suppose all this should turn out to be
true, and you should come to the day of Judgment and find all these
things to be true. What would you do then?" I would walk up like a
man, and say, "I was mistaken."

     "And suppose God was about to pass judgment upon you, what
would you say?" I would say to him, "Do unto others as you would
that others should do unto you." Why not?

     I am told that I must render good for evil. I am told that if
smitten on one cheek I must turn the other. I am told that I must
overcome evil with good. I am told that I must love my enemies; and
will it do for this God who tells me to love my enemies to damn
his? No, it will not do. It will not do.

     In the book of John all these doctrines of regeneration --
that it is necessary to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ; that
salvation depends upon belief -- in this book of John all these
doctrines find their warrant; nowhere else.

     Read Matthew, Mark, and Luke, and then read John, and you will
agree with me that the three first gospels teach that if we are
kind and forgiving to our fellows, God will be kind and forgiving
to us. In John we are told that another man can be good for us, or
bad for us, and that the only way to get to heaven is to believe
something that we know is not so.

     All these passages about believing in Christ, drinking his
blood and eating his flesh, are afterthoughts. They were written by
the theologians, and in a few years they will be considered
unworthy of the lips of Christ.

                               VI.

                         THE CATHOLICS.

     Now, upon these gospels that I have read the churches rest;
and out of these things, mistakes and interpolations, they have
made their creeds. And the first church to make a creed, so far as
I know, was the Catholic. It was the first church that had any
power. That is the church that has preserved all these miracles for


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

us. That is the church that preserved the manuscripts for us, that
is the church whose word we have to take, that church is the first
witness that Protestantism brought to the bar of history to prove
miracles that took place eighteen hundred years ago; and while the
witness is there Protestantism takes pains to say: "You cannot
believe one word that witness says now."

     That church is the only one that keeps up a constant
communication with heaven through the instrumentality of a large
number of decayed saints. That church has an agent of God on earth,
has a person who stands in the place of deity; and that church is
infallible. That church has persecuted to the exact extent of her
power -- and always will. In Spain that church stands erect, and is
arrogant. In the United States that church crawls; but the object
in both countries is the same -- and that is the destruction of
intellectual liberty. That church teaches us that we can make God
happy by being miserable ourselves; that a nun is holier in the
sight of God than a loving mother with her child in her thrilled
and thrilling arms; that a priest is better than a father; that
celibacy is better than that passion of love that has made
everything of beauty in this world. That church tells the girl of
sixteen or eighteen years of age, with eyes like dew and light;
that girl with the red of health in the white of her beautiful
cheeks -- tells that girl, "Put on the veil, woven of death and
night, kneel upon stones, and you will please God."

     I tell you that, by law, no girl should be allowed to take the
veil and renounce the joys and beauties of this life.

     I am opposed to allowing these spider-like priests to weave
webs to catch the loving maidens of the world. There ought to be a
law appointing commissioners to visit such places twice a year and
release every person who expresses a desire to be released. I do
not believe in keeping the penitentiaries of God. No doubt they are
honest about it. That is not the question. These ignorant
superstitions fill millions of lives with weariness and pain, with
agony and tears.

     This church, after a few centuries of thought, made a creed,
and that creed is the foundation of the orthodox religion. Let me
read it to you:

     "Whosoever will be saved, before all things it is necessary
that he hold the Catholic faith; which faith except every one do
keep entire and inviolate, without doubt, he shall everlastingly
perish." Now the faith is this: "That we worship one God in trinity
and trinity in unity."

     Of course you understand how that is done, and there is no
need of my explaining it. "Neither confounding the persons nor
dividing the substance." You see what a predicament that would
leave the deity in if you divided the substance.

     "For one is the person of the Father, another of the Son, and
another of the Holy Ghost; but the Godhead of the Father, and of
the Son, and of the Holy Ghost is all one" -- you know what I mean
by Godhead. "In glory equal, and in majesty coeternal. Such as the 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

Father is, such is the Son, such is the Holy Ghost. The Father is
untreated, the Son untreated, the Holy Ghost untreated. The Father
incomprehensible, the Son incomprehensible, the Holy Ghost
incomprehensible." And that is the reason we know so much about the
thing. "The Father is eternal, the Son eternal, the Holy Ghost
eternal, and yet there are not three eternals, only one eternal, as
also there are not three untreated, nor three incomprehensible,
only one untreated, one incomprehensible."

     "In like manner, the Father is almighty, the Son almighty, the
Holy Ghost almighty. Yet there are not three almighties, only one
Almighty. So the Father is God, the Son God, the Holy Ghost God,
and yet not three Gods; and so, likewise, the Father is Lord, the
Son is Lord, the Holy Ghost is Lord, yet there are not three Lords,
for as we are compelled by the Christian truth to acknowledge every
person by himself to be God and Lord, so we are all forbidden by
the Catholic religion to say there are three Gods, or three Lords.
The Father is made of no one; not created or begotten. The Son is
from the Father alone, not made, not created, but begotten. The
Holy Ghost is from the Father and the Son, not made nor begotten,
but proceeding."

     You know what proceeding is.

     "So there is one Father, not three Fathers." Why should there
be three fathers, and only one Son? "One Son, and not three Sons;
one Holy Ghost, not three Holy Ghosts; and in this Trinity there is
nothing before or afterward, nothing greater or less, but the whole
three persons are coeternal with one another and coequal, so that
in all things the unity is to be worshiped in Trinity, and the
Trinity is to be worshiped in unity. Those who will be saved must
thus think of the Trinity. Furthermore, it is necessary to
everlasting salvation that he also believe rightly the incarnation
of our Lord Jesus Christ. Now the right of this thing is this:
"That we believe and confess that our Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of
God, is both God and man. He is God of the substance of his Father
begotten before the world was."

     That was a good while before his mother lived.

     "And he is man of the substance of his mother, born in this
world, perfect God and perfect man, and the rational soul in human
flesh, subsisting equal to the Father according to his Godhead, but
less than the Father according to his manhood, who being both God
and man is not two but one, one not by conversion of God into
flesh, but by the taking of the manhood into God."

     You see that is a great deal easier than the other way would
be.

     "One altogether, not by a confusion of substance but by unity
of person, for as the rational soul and the flesh is one man, so
God and man is one Christ, who suffered for our salvation,
descended into hell, rose again the third day from the dead,
ascended into heaven, and he sitteth at the right hand of God, the
Father Almighty, and He shall come to Judge the living and the
dead."


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     In order to be saved it is necessary to believe this. What a
blessing that we do not have to understand it. And in order to
compel the human intellect to get upon its knees before that
infinite absurdity, thousands and millions have suffered agonies;
thousands and thousands have perished in dungeons and in fire; and
if all the bones of all the victims of the Catholic Church could be
gathered together, a monument higher than all the pyramids would
rise, in the presence of which the eyes even of priests would be
wet with tears.

     That church covered Europe with cathedrals and dungeons, and
robbed men of the jewel of the soul. That church had ignorance upon
its knees. That church went in partnership with the tyrants of the
throne, and between those two vultures, the altar and the throne,
the heart of man was devoured.

     Of course I have met, and cheerfully admit that there are
thousands of good Catholics; but Catholicism is contrary to human
liberty. Catholicism bases salvation upon belief. Catholicism
teaches man to trample his reason under foot. And for that reason
it is wrong.

     Thousands of volumes could not contain the crimes of the
Catholic Church. They could not contain even the names of her
victims. With sword and fire, with rack and chain, with dungeon and
whip she endeavored to convert the world, in weakness a beggar --
in power a highwayman, -- alms dish or dagger -- tramp or tyrant.

                               VII

                        THE EPISCOPALIANS

     The next church I wish to speak of is the Episcopalian. That
was founded by Henry VIII., now in heaven. He cast off Queen
Catherine and Catholicism together, and he accepted Episcopalianism
and Annie Boleyn at the same time. That church, if it had a few
more ceremonies, would be Catholic. If it had a few less, nothing.
We have an Episcopalian Church in this country, and it has all the
imperfections of a poor relation. It is always boasting of its rich
relative. In England the creed is made by law, the same as we pass
statutes here. And when a gentleman dies in England, in order to
determine whether he shall be saved or not, it is necessary for the
power of heaven to read the acts of Parliament. It becomes a
question of law, and sometimes a man is damned on a very nice
point. Lost on demurrer.

     A few years ago, a gentleman by the name of Seabury, Samuel
Seabury, was sent over to England to get some apostolic succession.
We had not a drop in the house. It was necessary for the bishops of
the English Church to put their hands upon his head. They refused.
There was no act of Parliament justifying it. He had then to go to
the Scotch bishops; and, had the Scotch bishops refused, we never
would have had any apostolic succession in the New World, and God
would have been driven out of half the earth, and the true church
never could have been founded upon this continent. But the Scotch
bishops put their hands on his head, and now we have an unbroken
succession of heads and hands from St. Paul to the last bishop.


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     In this country the Episcopalians have done some good, and I
want to thank that church. Having on an average less religion than
the others -- on an average you have done more good to mankind. You
preserved some of the humanities. you did not hate music; you did
not absolutely despise painting, and you did not altogether abhor
architecture, and you finally admitted that it was no worse to keep
time with your feet than with your hands. And some went so far as
to say that people could play cards, and that God would overlook
it, or would look the other way. For all these things accept my
thanks.

     When I was a boy, the other churches looked upon dancing as
probably the mysterious sin against the Holy Ghost; and they used
to teach that when four boys got in a hay-mow, playing seven-up,
that the eternal God stood whetting the sword of his eternal wrath
waiting to strike them down to the lowest hell. That church has
done some good.

     The Episcopal creed is substantially like the Catholic,
containing a few additional absurdities. The Episcopalians teach
that it is easier to get forgiveness for sin after you have been
baptized. They seem to think that the moment you are baptized you
become a member of the firm, and as such are entitled to wickedness
at cost. This church is utterly unsuited to a free people. Its
government is tyrannical, supercilious and absurd. Bishops talk as
though they were responsible for the souls in their charge. They
wear vests that button on one side. Nothing is so essential to the
clergy of this denomination as a good voice. The Episcopalians have
persecuted just to the extent of their power. Their treatment of
the Irish has been a crime -- a crime lasting for three hundred
years. That church persecuted the Puritans of England and the
Presbyterians of Scotland. In England the altar is the mistress of
the throne, and this mistress has always looked at honest wives
with scorn.

                              VIII

                         THE METHODISTS

     About a hundred and fifty years ago, two men, John Wesley and
George Whitfield, said, If everybody is going to hell, somebody
ought to mention it. The Episcopal clergy said: Keep still; do not
tear your gown. Wesley and Whitfield said: This frightful truth
ought to be proclaimed from the housetop of every opportunity, from
the highway of every occasion. They were good, honest men. They
believed their doctrine. And they said: If there is a hell, and a
Niagara of souls pouring over an eternal precipice of ignorance,
somebody ought to say something. They were right; somebody ought,
if such a thing is true. Wesley was a believer in the Bible. He
believed in the actual presence of the Almighty. God used to do
miracles for him; used to put off a rain several days to give his
meeting a chance; used to cure his horse of lameness; used to cure
Mr. Wesley's headaches.

     And Mr. Wesley also believed in the actual existence of the
devil. He believed that devils had possession of people. He talked
to the devil when he was in folks, and the devil told him that he 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

was going to leave; and that he was going into another person. That
he would be there at a certain time; and Wesley went to that other
person, and there the devil was, prompt to the minute. He regarded
every conversion as warfare between God and this devil for the
possession of that human soul, and that in the warfare God had
gained the victory. Honest, no doubt. Mr. Wesley did not believe in
human liberty. Honest, no doubt. Was opposed to the liberty of the
colonies. Honestly so. Mr. Wesley preached a sermon entitled: "The
Cause and Cure of Earthquakes," in which he took the ground that
earthquakes were caused by sin; and the only way to stop them was
to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. No doubt an honest man.

     Wesley and Whitfield fell out on the question of
predestination. Wesley insisted that God invited everybody to the
feast. Whitfield said he did not invite those he knew would not
come. Wesley said he did. Whitfield said: Well, he did not put
plates for them, anyway. Wesley said he did. So that, when they
were in hell he could show them that there was a seat left for
them. The church that they founded is still active. And probably no
church in the world has done so much preaching for as little money
as the Methodists. Whitfield believed in slavery, and advocated the
slave-trade. And it was of Whitfield that Wittier made the two
lines: "He bade the slave ships speed from coast to coast Fanned by
the wings of the Holy Ghost."

     We have lately had a meeting of the Methodists, and I find by
their statistics that they believe that they have converted 130,000
folks in a year. That, in order to do this, they have 26,000
preachers, 226,000 Sunday school scholars, and about $100,000,000
invested in church property. I find, in looking over the history of
the world, that there are 40,000,000 or 50,000,000 of people born
a year, and if they are saved at the rate of 130,000 a year, about
how long will it take that doctrine to save this world? Good,
honest people; but they are mistaken.

     In old times they were very simple. Churches used to be like
barns. They used to have them divided -- men on that side, and
women on this. A little barbarous. We have advanced since then, and
we now find as a fact, demonstrated by experience, that a man
sitting by the woman he loves can thank God as heartily as though
sitting between two men that he has never been introduced to.

     There is another thing the Methodists should remember. and
that is that the Episcopalians were the greatest enemies they ever
had. And they should remember that the Freethinkers have always
treated them kindly and well.

     Their is one thing about the Methodist Church in the North
that I like. But I find that it is not Methodism that does that. I
find that the Methodist Church in the South is as much opposed to
liberty as the Methodist Church North is in favor of liberty. So it
is not Methodism that is in favor of liberty or slavery. They
differ a little in their creed from the rest. They do not believe
that God does everything. They believe that he does his part, and
that you must do the rest, and that getting to heaven is a
partnership business. The Methodist Church is adapted to new 



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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

countries -- its ministers are generally uncultured, and with them
zeal takes the place of knowledge. They convert people with noise.
In the silence that follows most of the converts backslide.

     In a little while a struggle will commence between the few who
are growing and the orthodox many. The few will be driven out, and
the church will be governed by those who believe without
understanding.

                               IX

                       THE PRESBYTERIANS.

     The next church is the Presbyterian, and in my judgment the
worst of all, as far as creed is concerned. This church was founded
by John Calvin, a murderer!

     John Calvin, having power in Geneva, inaugurated human
torture. Voltaire abolished torture in France. The man who
abolished torture, if the Christian religion be true, God is now
torturing in hell, and the man who inaugurated torture, is now a
glorified angel in heaven. It will not do.

     John Knox started this doctrine in Scotland, and there is this
peculiarity about Presbyterianism -- it grows best where the soil
is poorest. I read the other day an account of a meeting between
John Knox and John Calvin. Imagine a dialogue between a pestilence
and a famine! Imagine a conversation between a block and an ax! As
I read their conversation it seemed to me as though John Knox and
John Calvin were made for each other; that they fitted each other
like the upper and lower jaws of a wild beast. They believed
happiness was a crime; they looked upon laughter as blasphemy; and
they did all they could to destroy every human feeling, and to fill
the mind with the infinite gloom of predestination and eternal
death. They taught the doctrine that God had a right to damn us
because he made us. That is just the reason that he has not a right
to damn us. There is some dust. Unconscious dust! What right has
God to change that unconscious dust into a human being, when he
knows that human being will sin; when he knows that human being
will suffer eternal agony? Why not leave him in the unconscious
dust? What right has an infinite God to add to the sum of human
agony? Suppose I knew that I could change that piece of furniture
into a living, sentient human being, and I knew that that being
would suffer untold agony forever. If I did it, I would be a fiend.
I would leave that being in the unconscious dust. And yet we are
told that we must believe such a doctrine or we are to he eternally
damned! It will not do.

     In 1839 there was a division in this church, and they had a
lawsuit to see which was the church of God. And they tried it by a
judge and Jury, and the Jury decided that the new school was the
church of God, and then they got a new trial, and the next Jury
decided that the old school was the church of God, and that settled
it. That church teaches that infinite innocence was sacrificed for
me! I do not want it! I do not wish to go to heaven unless I can
settle by the books, and go there because I ought to go there. I
have said, and I say again, I do not wish to be a charity angel. I 
have no ambition to become a winged pauper of the skies.

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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     The other day a young gentleman, a Presbyterian who had just
been converted, came to me and he gave me a tract, and he told me
he was perfectly happy. Said I, "Do you think a great many people
are going to hell?" "Oh, yes." "And you are perfectly happy?" Well,
he did not know as he was, quite. "Would not you he happier if they
were all going to heaven?" "Oh, yes." "Well, then, you are not
perfectly happy?" No, he did not think he was. "When you get to
heaven, then you will be perfectly happy?" "Oh, yes." "Now, when we
are only going to hell, you are not quite happy; but when we are in
hell, and you in heaven, then you will be perfectly happy? You will
not be as decent when you get to he an angel as you are now, will
you?"

     "Well," he said, "that was not exactly it." Said I, "Suppose
your mother were in hell, would you be happy in heaven then?"
"Well," he says, "I suppose God would know the best place for
mother." And I thought to myself, then, if I was a woman, I would
like to have five or six boys like that.

     It will not do. Heaven is where those are we love, and those
who love us. And I wish to go to no world unless I can be
accompanied by those who love me here. Talk about the consolations
of this infamous doctrine. The consolations of a doctrine that
makes a father say, "I can be happy with my daughter in hell;" that
makes a mother say, "I can be happy with my generous, brave boy in
hell;" that makes a boy say, "I can enjoy the glory of heaven with
the woman who bore me, the woman who would have died for me, in
eternal agony." And they call that tidings of great joy.

     No church has done more to fill the world with gloom than the
Presbyterian. Its creed is frightful, hideous, and hellish. The
Presbyterian god is the monster of monsters. He is an eternal
executioner, jailer and turnkey. He will enjoy forever the shrieks
of the lost, -- the wails of the damned. Hell is the festival of
the Presbyterian god.

                                X

                    THE EVANGELICAL ALLIANCE.

     I have not time to speak of the Baptists, -- that Jeremy
Taylor said were as much to be rooted out as anything that is the
greatest pest and nuisance on the earth. He hated the Baptists
because they represented, in some little degree, the liberty of
thought. Nor have I time to speak of the Quakers, the best of all,
and abused by all. I cannot forget that John Fox, in the year of
grace 1640, was put in the pillory and whipped from town to town,
scarred, put in a dungeon, beaten, trampled upon, and what for?
Simply because he preached the doctrine: "Thou shalt not resist
evil with evil." "Thou shalt love thy enemies." Think of what the
church must have been that day to scar the flesh of that loving
man! Just think of it! I say I have not time to speak of all these
sects -- the varieties of Presbyterians and Campbellites. There are
hundreds and hundreds of these sects, all founded upon this creed
that I read, differing simply in degree.




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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

     Ah! but they say to me: You are fighting something that is
dead. Nobody believes this now. The preachers do not believe what
they preach in the pulpit. The people in the pews do not believe
what they hear preached. And they say to me: You are fighting
something that is dead. This is all a form, we do not believe a
solitary creed in the world. We sign them and swear that we believe
them, but we do not. And none of us do. And all the ministers, they
say in private, admit that they do not believe it, not quite. I do
not know whether this is so or not. I take it that they believe
what they preach. I take it that when they meet and solemnly agree
to a creed, they are honest and really believe in that creed. But
let us see if I am waging a war against the ideas of the dead. Let
us see if I am simply storming a cemetery.

     The Evangelical Alliance, made up of all orthodox
denominations of the world, met only a few years ago, and here is
their creed: They believe in the divine inspiration, authority and
sufficiency of the holy Scriptures; the right and duty of private
judgment in the interpretation of the holy Scriptures, but if you
interpret wrong you are damned. They believe in the unity of the
Godhead and the Trinity of the persons therein. They believe in the
utter depravity of human nature. There can be no more infamous
doctrine than that. They look upon a little child as a lump of
depravity. I look upon it as a bud of humanity, that will, in the
air and light of love and joy, blossom into rich and glorious life.

     Total depravity of human nature! Here is a woman whose husband
has been lost at sea; the news comes that he has been drowned by
the ever-hungry waves, and she waits. There is something in her
heart that tells her he is alive. And she waits. And years
afterward as she looks down toward the little gate she sees him; he
has been given back by the sea, and she rushes to his arms, and
covers his face with kisses and with tears. And if that infamous
doctrine is true every tear is a crime, and every kiss a blasphemy.
It will not do. According to that doctrine, if a man steals and
repents, and takes back the property, the repentance and the
talking back of the property are two other crimes. It is an infamy.
What else do they believe? "The justification of a sinner by faith
alone," without works -- just faith. Believing something that you
do not understand. Of course God can not afford to reward a man for
believing anything that is reasonable. God rewards only for
believing something that is unreasonable. If you believe something
that is improbable and unreasonable. you are a Christian; but if
you believe something that you know is not so, then, -- you are a
saint.

     They believe in the eternal blessedness of the righteous, and
in the eternal punishment of the wicked.

     Tidings of great joy! They are so good that they will not
associate with Universalists. They will not associate with
Unitarians; they will not associate with scientists; they will only
associate with those who believe that God so loved the world that
he made up his mind to damn the most of us.

     The Evangelical Alliance reiterates the absurdities of the
Dark Ages -- repeats the five points of Calvin -- replenishes the 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

fires of hell -- certifies to the mistakes and miracles of the
Bible -- maligns the human race, and kneels to a god who accepted
the agony of the innocent as an atonement for the guilty.

                               XI

                      WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE?

     Then they say to me: "What do you propose? You have torn this
down, what do you propose to give us in place of it?" I have not
torn the good down. I have only endeavored to trample out the
ignorant, cruel fires of hell. I do not tear away the passage: "God
will be merciful to the merciful." I do not destroy the promise;
"If you will forgive others, God will forgive you." I would not for
anything blot out the faintest star that shines in the horizon of
human despair, nor in the sky of human hope; but I will do what I
can to get that infinite shadow out of the heart of man.

     "What do you propose in place of this?"

     Well, in the first place, I propose good fellowship -- good
friends all around. No matter what we believe, shake hands and let
it go. That is your opinion; this is mine: let us be friends.
Science makes friends; religion, superstition, makes enemies. They
say: Belief is important. I say: No, actions are important. Judge
by deed, not by creed. Good fellowship -- good friends -- sincere
men and women -- mutual forbearance, born of mutual respect. We
have had too many of these solemn people. Whenever I see an
exceedingly solemn man, I know he is an exceedingly stupid man. No
man of any humor ever founded a religion -- never. Humor sees both
sides. While reason is the holy light, humor carries the lantern,
and the man with a keen sense of humor is preserved from the solemn
stupidities of superstition. I like a man who has got good feeling
for everybody; good fellowship. One man said to another:

     "Will you take a glass of wine?"

     "I do not drink."

     "Will you smoke a cigar?"

     "I do not smoke."

     "Maybe you will chew something?"

     "I do not chew."

     "Let us eat some hay"

     "I tell you I do not eat hay."

     "Well, then, good-by, for you are no company for man or
beast."

     I believe in the gospel of cheerfulness, the gospel of Good
Nature; the gospel of Good Health. Let us pay some attention to our
bodies. Take care of our bodies, and our souls will take care of 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

themselves. Good health! And I believe the time will come when the
public thought will be so great and grand that it will be looked
upon as infamous to perpetuate disease. I believe the time will
come when man will not fill the future with consumption and
insanity. I believe the time will come when we will study
ourselves, and understand the laws of health and then we will say:
We are under obligation to put the flags of health in the cheeks of
our children. Even if I got to heaven, and had a harp, I would hate
to look back upon my children and grandchildren, and see them
diseased, deformed, crazed -- all suffering the penalties of crimes
I had committed.

     I believe in the gospel of Good Living. You can not make any
god happy by fasting. Let us have good food, and let us have it
well cooked -- and it is a thousand times better to know how to
cook than it is to understand any theology in the world.

     I believe in the gospel of good clothes; I believe in the
gospel of good houses; in the gospel of water and soap. I believe
in the gospel of intelligence; in the gospel of education. The
schoolhouse is my cathedral. The universe is my Bible. I believe in
that gospel of Justice, that we must reap what we sow.

     I do not believe in forgiveness as it is preached by the
church. We do not need the forgiveness of God, but of each other
and of ourselves. If I rob Mr. Smith and God forgives me, how does
that help Smith? If I, by slander, cover some poor girl with the
leprosy of some imputed crime, and she withers away like a blighted
flower and afterward I get the forgiveness of God, how does that
help her? If there is another world, we have got to settle with the
people we have wronged in this. No bankrupt court there. Every cent
must be paid.

     The Christians say, that among the ancient Jews, if you
committed a crime you had to kill a sheep. Now they say "charge
it." "Put it on the slate." It will not do. For every crime you
commit you must answer to yourself and to the one you injure. And
if you have ever clothed another with woe, as with a garment of
pain, you will never be quite as happy as though you had not done
that thing. No forgiveness by the gods. Eternal, inexorable,
everlasting justice, so far as Nature is concerned. You must reap
the result of your acts. Even when forgiven by the one you have
injured, it is not as though the injury had not been done. That is
what I believe in. And if it goes hard with me, I will stand it,
and I will cling to my logic, and I will bear it like a man.

     And I believe, too, in the gospel of Liberty, in giving to
others what we claim for ourselves. I believe there is room
everywhere for thought, and the more liberty you give away, the
more you will have. In liberty extravagance is economy. Let us be
just. Let us he generous to each other.

     I believe in the gospel of Intelligence. That is the only
lever capable of raising mankind. Intelligence must be the savior
of this world. Humanity is the grand religion, and no God can put
a man in hell in another world, who has made a little heaven in  



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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

this. God cannot make a man miserable if that man has made somebody
else happy. God cannot hate anybody who is capable of loving
anybody. Humanity -- that word embraces all there is.

     So I believe in this great gospel of Humanity.

     "Ah! but," they say, "it will not do. You must believe." I
say, No. My gospel of health will bring life. My gospel of
intelligence, my gospel of good living, my gospel of good-
fellowship will cover the world with happy homes. My doctrine will
put carpets upon your floors, pictures upon your walls. My doctrine
will put books upon your shelves, ideas in your minds. My doctrine
will rid the world of the abnormal monsters born of ignorance and
superstition. My doctrine will give us health, wealth and
happiness. That is what I want. That is what I believe in. Give us
intelligence. In a little while a man will find that he can not
steal without robbing himself. He will find that he cannot murder
without assassinating his own joy. He will find that every crime is
a mistake. He will find that only that man carries the cross who
does wrong, and that upon the man who does right the cross turns to
wings that will bear him upward forever. He will find that even
intelligent self-love embraces within its mighty arms all the human
race.

     "Oh," but they say to me, "You take away immortality." I do
not. If we are immortal it is a fact in nature, and we are not
indebted to priests for it, nor to bibles for it, and it cannot be
destroyed by unbelief.

     As long as we love we will hope to live, and when the one dies
that we love we will say: "Oh, that we could meet again," and
whether we do or not it will not be the work of theology. It will
be a fact in nature. I would not for my life destroy one star of
human hope, but I want it so that when a poor woman rocks the
cradle and sings a lullaby to the dimpled darling, she will not be
compelled to believe that ninety-nine chances in a hundred she is
raising kindling wood for hell.

     One world at a time is my doctrine. It is said in this
Testament, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof;" and I
say: Sufficient unto each world is the evil thereof.

     And suppose after all that death does end all. Next to eternal
joy, next to being forever with those we love and those who have
loved us, next to that, is to be wrapped in the dreamless drapery
of eternal peace. Next to eternal life is eternal sleep. Upon the
shadowy shore of death the sea of trouble casts no wave. Eyes that
have been curtained by the everlasting dark, will never know again
the burning touch of tears. Lips touched by eternal silence will
never speak again the broken words of grief. Hearts of dust do not
break. The dead do not weep. Within the tomb no veiled and weeping
sorrow sits, and in the rayless gloom is crouched no shuddering
fear.

     I had rather think of those I have loved, and lost, as having
returned to earth, as having become a part of the elemental wealth
of the world -- I would rather think of them as unconscious dust, 


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                  WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

I would rather dream of them as gurgling in the streams, floating
in the clouds, bursting in the foam of light upon the shores of
worlds, I would rather think of them as the lost visions of a
forgotten night, than to have even the faintest fear that their
naked souls have been clutched by an orthodox god. I will leave my
dead where nature leaves them. Whatever flower of hope springs up
in my heart I will cherish, I will give it breath of sighs and rain
of tears. But I can not believe that there is any being in this
universe who has created a human soul for eternal pain. I would
rather that every god would destroy himself; I would rather that we
all should go to eternal chaos, to black and starless night, than
that just one soul should suffer eternal agony.

     I have made up my mind that if there is a God, he will be
merciful to the merciful.

     Upon that rock I stand. -- 

     That he will not torture the forgiving. -- 

     Upon that rock I stand. -- 

     That every man should be true to himself, and that there is no
world, no star, in which honesty is a crime.

     Upon that rock I stand. -- 

     The honest man, the good woman, the happy child, have nothing
to fear, either in this world or the world to come.

     Upon that rock I stand.


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Biographies and writings of famous persons, and especially of our
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