NotebookThree.UnNumbered.birthday_thoughts_90

by j z provo
					1 oct 90
					12h49

   one day before my 'birthday'.
   one day before i am suddenly older.
   one day for much work to be done.

   one more day to realize what has yet to be done
       ...what has been undone.
   one more day of broken dreams,
       supressed desires,
       and buried regrets.

   near five years since 
               Death
       shook me Awake;
   near five years since
                  Love
       opened my eyes.

   near five years
               I have been alternately
     Remembering
                 and
     Rejecting
               these Gifts.

   near five years of alcoholic haze,
      edited memories,
          erased nightmares,
             and piss-poor 'art'.


   The Immortals look down upon me in anger.
   I am pummeled, beaten,
           bruised and abused;
   They try to kick me to action...
       ...and i just sit.  

      my blood flows as my name;
      eyes nose mouth chest arms
      become a pulsating crimson 
      river of pain. Within it i
      find my solace: drowned in
            my own blood.      


