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     ADDRESS TO THE PRESS CLUB.                             1
     LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF REAR ADMIRAL SCHLEY.     4

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          This file, its printout, or copies of either
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          Bank of Wisdom, Box 926, Louisville, KY 40201

                The Works of ROBERT G. INGERSOLL

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                   ADDRESS TO THE PRESS CLUB.

                 New Orleans, February 1, 1898.

     LADIES AND GENTLEMEN of the New Orleans Press Club: I do not
remember to have agreed or consented to make any remarks about the
press or anything else on the present occasion, but I am glad of
this opportunity to say a word or two. Of course, I have the very,
greatest respect for this profession, the profession of the press,
knowing it, as I do, to be one of the greatest civilizers of the
world. Above all other institutions and all other influences, it is
the greatest agency in breaking down the hedges of provincialism.
In olden times one nation had no knowledge or understanding of
another nation, and no insight or understanding into its life; and,
indeed, various parts of one nation held the other parts of it
somewhat in the attitude of hostility, because of a lack of more
thorough knowledge; and, curiously enough, we are prone to look
upon strangers more or less in the light of enemies. Indeed, enemy
and stranger in the old vocabularies are pretty much of the same
significance. A stranger was an enemy. I think it is Darwin who
alludes to the instinctive fear a child has of a stranger as one of
the heritages of centuries of instinctive cultivation, the handed-
down instinct of years ago. And even now it is a fact that we have
very little sympathy with people of a different country, even
people speaking the same language, having the same god with a
different name, or another god with the same name, recognizing the
same principles of right and wrong.

     But the moment people began to trade with each other, the
moment they began to enjoy the results of each other's industry and
brain, the moment that, through this medium, they began to get an
insight into each other's life, people began to see each other as
they were; and so commerce became the greatest of all missionaries
of civilization, because, like the press, it tended to do away with
provincialism.

     You know there is no one else in the world so egotistic as the
man who knows nothing. No man is more certain than the man who
knows nothing. The savage knows everything. The moment man begins 



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                  Box 926, Louisville, KY 40201
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                   ADDRESS TO THE PRESS CLUB.

to be civilized he begins to appreciate how little he knows, how
very circumscribed in its very nature human knowledge is.

     Now, after commerce came the press. From the Moors, I believe,
we learned the first rudiments of that art which has civilized the
world. With the invention of movable type came an easy and cheap
method of preserving the thoughts and history of one generation to
another and transmitting the life of one nation to another. Facts
became immortal, and from that day to this the intelligence of the
world has rapidly and steadily increased.

     And now, if we are provincial, it is our own fault, and if we
are hateful and odious and circumscribed and narrow and peevish and
limited in the light we get from the known universe, it is our own
fault.

     Day by day the world is growing smaller and men larger. But a
few years ago the State of New York was as large as the United
States is to-day. It required as much time to reach Albany from New
York as it now requires to reach San Francisco from the same city,
and so far as the transmission of thought goes the world is but a
hamlet.

     I count as one of the great good things of the modern press --
as one of the specific good things -- that the same news, the same
direction of thought is transmitted to many millions of people each
day. So that the thoughts of multitudes of men are substantially
tending at the same time along the same direction. It tends more
and more to make us citizens in the highest sense of the term, and
that is the reason that I have so much respect for the press.

     Of course I know that the news and opinions are written by
folks liable to the same percentage of error as characterizes all
mankind. No one makes no mistakes but the man who knows everything
-- no one makes no mistakes but the hypocrite.

     I must confess, however, that there are things about the press
of to-day that I would have changed -- that I do not like.

     I hate to see brain the slave of the material god. I hate to
see money own genius. So I think that every writer on every paper
should be compelled to sign his name to everything he writes. There
are many reasons why he has a right to the reputation he makes. His
reputation is his property, his capital, his stock in trade, and it
is not just or fair or right that it should be absorbed by the
corporation which employs him. After giving great thoughts to the
world, after millions of people have read his thoughts with
delight, no one knows this lonely man or his solitary name. If he
loses the good will of his employer, he loses his place and with it
all that his labor and time and brain have earned for himself as
his own inalienable property, and his corporation or employer reaps
the benefit of it.

     There is another reason establishing the absolute equity of
this proposition, a reason pointing in other directions than to the
writer and his rights. It is no more than right to the reader that
the opinion or the narrative should be that of Mr. Smith or Mr. 


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                  Box 926, Louisville, KY 40201
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                   ADDRESS TO THE PRESS CLUB.

Brown or Mr. So and So, and not that of, say, the Picayune. That is
too impersonal. It is no more than right that a single man should
have his honor at stake for what is said, and not an impersonal
something. I know that we are all liable to believe it if the
Picayune says it, and yet, after all, it is the individual man who
is saying it and it is in the interest of justice that the reader
be appraised of the fact.

     I believe I have just a little fault to find with the tendency
of the modern press to go into personal affairs -- into so-called
private affairs. In saying this, I have no complaint to lodge on my
own behalf, for I have no private affairs. I am not so much opposed
to what is called sensationalism, for that must exist as long as
crime is considered news, and believe me, when virtue becomes news
it can only be when this will have become an exceedingly bad world.
At the same time I think that the publication of crime may have
more or less the tendency of increasing it.

     I read not long ago that if some heavy piece of furniture were
dropped in a room in which there was a string instrument, the
strings in harmony with the vibrations of the air made by that
noise would take up the sound. Now a man with a tendency to crime
would pick up that criminal feeling inspiring the act which he sees
blazoned forth in all its detail in the press. In that view of the
matter it seems to me better not to give details of all offenses.

     Now, as to the matter of being too personal, I think that one
of the results of that sort of journalism is to drive a great many
capable and excellent men out of public life. I heard a little
story quite recently of a man who was being urged for the
Legislature, and yet hesitated because of his fear of newspaper
criticism of this character. "I don't want to ran," said he to his
wife, who urged that this was an opportunity to do himself and his
friends honor, and that it was a sort of duty in him. "I would if
I were you," said his wife. "Will, but there is no saying," he
responded, "what the newspapers might print about me." "Why, your
life has always been honorable," said she; "they could not say
anything to your disparagement." "But they might attack my father."
"Well, there was nothing in his career of which any one might feel
ashamed. He was as irreproachable as you." "Ay, but they might
attack you and tell of some devilment you went into before we were
married." "Then you better not run," said his wife promptly. I
think this fear on the part of husband and wife is identical with
that which keeps many a great man out of public service.

     Now, there is another thing which every one ought to abhor.
All men and newspapers are entirely too apt to criticize the
motives of men. It is a fault common to all good men -- except the
clergy, of course -- this habit of attacking motives. And whenever
we see a man do something which is great and praiseworthy, let us
talk about the act itself and not go into a speculation or an
attack upon the motive which prompted the act. Attack what a man
actually does.

     But these are only small matters. The press is the most
powerful of all agencies for the dissemination of intelligence, and
as such I hail it always. It has nearly always been very friendly 


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                  Box 926, Louisville, KY 40201
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                   ADDRESS TO THE PRESS CLUB.

and kind to me and certainly I have received at the hands of the
New Orleans press a treatment I shall never forget.

     Our Sunday newspapers, to my mind, rank among the greatest
institutions of the present day. One finds in them matter that
could not be found in several hundreds of books, -- beautiful
thoughts, broad intelligence, a range of information perfectly
startling in its usefulness and perfectly charming in its
entertainment. Contrast please, how we are enabled by their good
offices to spend the Sabbath, with the descriptions of hell with
all its terrors and all the gloom characterizing the Sabbaths our
forefathers had to spend. The Sunday newspaper is an absolute
blessing to the American people, a picture gallery, short stories,
little poems, a symposium of brain and intelligence and refinement
and -- divorce proceedings.

     As I have said, the good will and the fair treatment of the
American press have nearly always been my lot. There have been some
misguided people who have said harsh things, but when I remember
all the misguided thing I have done, I am inclined to be charitable
for their short commings.

     I do not know that I have anything else to say, except that I
wish you all good luck and sunshine and prosperity, and enough of
it to last you through a long life.

                               END

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                  LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF

                      REAR ADMIRAL SCHLEY.

                  New York, November 26, 1898.

     MR.PRESIDENT, GENTLEMEN OF THE CLUB -- Boys: I congratulate
all of you and I congratulate myself, and I will tell you why. In
the first place, we were well born, and we were all born rich, all
of us. We belong to a great race. That is something; that is having
a start, to feel that in your veins flows heroic blood, blood that
has accomplished great things and has planted the flag of victory
on the field of war. It is a great thing to belong to a great race.

     I congratulate you and myself on another thing; we were born
in a great nation, and you can't be much of a man without having a
nation behind you, with you. Just think about it! What would
Shakespeare have been, if he had been born in Labrador? I used to
know an old lawyer in southern Illinois, a smart old chap, who
mourned his unfortunate surroundings. He lived in Pinkneyville, and
occasionally drank a little too freely of Illinois wine; and when
in his cups he sometimes grew philosophic and egotistic. He said
one day, "Boys, I have got more brains than you have, I have, but
I have never had a chance. I want you just to think of it. What
would Daniel Webster have been, by God, if he had settled in
Pinkneyville?"



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                  LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF

     So I congratulate you all that you were born in a great
nation, born rich; and why do I say rich? Because you fell heir to
a great, expressive, flexible language; that is one thing. What
could a man do who speaks a poor language, a language of a few
words that you could almost count on your fingers? What could he
do? You were born heirs to a great literature, the greatest in the
world -- in all the world. All the literature of Greece and Rome
would not make one act of "Hamlet." All the literature of the
ancient world added to all of the modern world, except England,
would not equal the literature that we have. We were born to it,
heirs to that vast intellectual possession.

     So I say you were all born rich, all. And then you were very
fortunate in being born in this country, where people have some
rights, not as many as they should have, not as many as they would
have if it were not for the preachers, maybe, but where we have
some; and no man yet was ever great unless a great drama was being
played on some great stage and he got a part. Nature deals you a
hand, and all she asks is for you to have the sense to play it. If
no hand is dealt to you, you win no money. You must have the
opportunity, must be on the stage, and some great drama must be
there. Take it in our own country. The Revolutionary war was a
drama, and a few great actors appeared; the War of 1812 was
another, and a few appeared; the Civil war another. Where would
have been the heroes whose brows we have crowned with laurel had
there been no Civil war? What would have become of Lincoln, a
lawyer in a country town? What would have become of Grant? He would
have been covered with the mantle of absolute obscurity, tucked in
at all the edges, his name never heard of by any human being not
related to him.

     Now, you have got to have the chance, and you cannot create
it. I heard a gentleman say here a few minutes ago that this war
could have been averted. That is not true. I am not doubting his
veracity, but rather his philosophy. Nothing ever happened beneath
the dome of heaven that could have been avoided. Everything that is
possible happens. That may not suit all the creeds, but it is true.
And everything that is possible will continue to happen. The war
could not have been averted, and the thing that makes me glad and
proud is that it was not averted. I will tell you why.

     It was the first war in the history of this world that was
waged unselfishly for the good of others; the first war. Almost
anybody will fight for himself; a great many people will fight for
their country, their fellow-men, their fellow-citizens; but it
requires something besides courage to fight for the rights of
aliens; it requires not only courage, but principle and the highest
morality. This war was waged to compel Spain to take her bloody
hands from the throat of Cuba. That Is exactly what it was waged
for. Another great drama was put upon the boards, another play was
advertised, and the actors had their opportunity. Had there been no
such war, many of the actors would never have been heard of.

     But the thing is to take advantage of the occasion when it
arrives. In this war we added to the greatness and the glory of our
history. That is another thing that we all fell heirs to -- the
history of our people, the history of our Nation. We fell heirs to 


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                  LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF

all the great and grand things that had been accomplished, to all
the great deeds, to the splendid achievements either in the realm
of mind or on the field of battle.

     Then there was another great drama. The first thing we knew,
a man in the far Pacific, a gentleman from Vermont, sailed one May
morning into the bay of Manila, and the next news was that the
Spanish fleet had been beached, burned, destroyed, and nothing had
happened to him. I have read a little history, not much, and a good
deal that I have read was not true. I have read something about our
own navy, not much. I recollect when I was a boy my hero was John
Paul Jones; he covered the ocean; and afterward I knew of Hull and
Perry and Decatur and Bainbridge and a good many others that I
don't remember now. And then came the Civil war, and I remember a
little about Farragut, a great Admiral, as great as ever trod a
deck, in my judgment. And I have also read about other admirals and
sailors of the world. I knew something of Drake and I have read the
"Life of Nelson" and several other sea dogs; but when I got the
news from Manila I said, "There is the most wonderful victory ever
won upon the sea;" and I did not think it would ever be paralleled.
I thought such things come one in a box. But a little while
afterward another of Spain's fleets was heard from. Oh, those
Spaniards! They have got the courage of passion, but that is not
the highest courage. They have got plenty of that; but it is
necessary to be coolly courageous, and to have the brain working
with the accuracy of an engine -- courageous, I don't care how mad
you get, but there must not be a cloud in the heaven of your
judgment. That is Anglo-Saxon courage and there is no higher type.
The Spaniards sprinkled the holy water on their guns, then banged
away and left it to the Holy Ghost to direct the rest.

     Another fleet, at Santiago, ventured out one day, and another
great victory was won by the American Navy. I don't know which
victory was the more wonderful, that at Manila Bay or that at
Santiago. The Spanish ships were, some of them, of the best class
and type, and had fine guns, yet in a few moments they were wrecks
on the shore of defeat, gone, lost.

     Now, when I used to read about these things in the olden
times, what ideas I had of the hero! I never expected to see one;
and yet to-night I have the happiness of dining with one, with one
whose name is associated with as great a victory, in my judgment,
as was ever won; a victory that required courage, intelligence,
that power of will that holds itself firm until the thing sought
has been accomplished; and that has my greatest admiration. I thank
Admiral Schley for having enriched my country, for having added a
little to my own height, to my own pride, so that I utter the word
America with a little more unction than I ever did before, and the
old flag looks a little brighter, better, and has an added glory.
When I see it now, it looks as if the air had burst into blossom,
and it stands for all that he has accomplished.

     Admiral Schley has added not only to our wealth, but to the
wealth of the children yet unborn that are going to come into the
great heritage not only of wealth, but of the highest possible
riches, glory, honor, achievement. That is the reason I
congratulate you to-night. And I congratulate you on another thing,


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                  Box 926, Louisville, KY 40201
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                  LOTOS CLUB DINNER IN HONOR OF

that this country has entered upon the great highway, I believe, of
progress. I believe that the great nation has the sentiment, the
feeling of growth. The successful farmer wants to buy the land
adjoining him; the great nation loves to see its territory
increase. And what has been our history? Why, when we bought
Louisiana from Napoleon, in 1803, thousands of people were opposed
to "imperialism," to expansion; the poor old moss-backs were
opposed to it. When we bought Florida, it was the same. When we
took the vast West from Mexico in 1848 it was the same. When we
took Alaska it was the same. Now, is anybody in favor of modifying
that sentiment?

     We have annexed Hawaii, and we have got the biggest volcano in
the business. A man I know visited that volcano some years ago and
came back and told me about his visit. He said that at the little
hotel they had a guest-book in which the people wrote their
feelings on seeing the volcano in action. "Now," he said, "I will
tell you this so that you may know how you are spreading out
yourself. One man had written in that book, 'if Bob Ingersoll were
here, I think he would change his mind about hell.'" I want that
volcano. I want the Philippines. It would be simply infamous to
hand those people back to the brutality of Spain, Spain has been
Christianizing them for about four hundred years. The first thing
the poor devils did was to sign a petition asking for the expulsion
of the priests. That was their idea of the commencement of liberty.
They are not quite so savage as some people imagine. I want those
islands; I want all of them, and I don't know that I disagree with
the Rev. Mr. Slicer as to the use we can put them to. I don't know
that they will be of any use, but I want them; they might come
handy. And I wanted to pick up the small change, the Ladrones and
the Carolinas. I am glad we have got Porto Rico. I don't know as it
will be of any use, but there's no harm in having the title. I want
Cuba whenever Cuba wants us, and I favor the idea of getting her in
the notion of wanting us. I want it in the interest, as I believe,
of humanity, of progress; in other words, of human liberty. That is
what the war was waged for, and the fact that it was waged for
that, gives an additional glory to these naval officers and to the
officers in the army. They fought in the first righteous war; I
mean righteous in the sense that we fought for the liberty of
others.

     Now, gentlemen, I feel that we have all honored ourselves to-
night by honoring Rear Admiral Schley. I want you to know that long
after we are dead and long after the Admiral has ceased to sail, he
will be remembered, and in the constellation of glory one of the
brightest stars will stand for the name of Winfield Scott Schley,
as brave an officer as ever sailed a ship. I am glad I am here
to-night, and again, gentlemen, I congratulate you all upon being
here. I congratulate you that you belong to this race, to this
nation, and that you are equal heirs in the glory of the great
Republic.

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