NEWS FLASH!

	
MAJOR U.S. RESEARCH UNIVERSITY DISCOVERS NEW ELEMENT

  Special to the Education WOB by John Moore

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by 
investigators at a major U.S. research university.  The element, tentatively
named Administratium, has no protons, no electrons and thus has an atomic
number of 0.  However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice 
neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons.  This gives it an atomic mass of
312.  These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the 
continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.  However, it can be 
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with.
According to those who discovered the element a minute amount of Administratium
caused one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have 
normally occurred in less than one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which
time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a georganization in which 
assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange 
places.  Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after
each reorganization.

Reasearch at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs 
naturally in the atmosphere.  It tends to concentrate at certain points such
as government agencies, large corporations and universities.  It can usually
be found in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level
of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reation where it is 
allowed to accumulate.  Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium
can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not
promising.

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This article appears in the current issue of the "Education WOB".  For
a free sample copy, send your request to:
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P.O. Box 762 Cortland NY 13045


