----------------------------------------------------------------------

                   THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO AD&D ALCOHOL

                    FOR ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS

                                   BY

                             REID BLUEBAUGH

                  WITH A LOT OF HELP FROM SOME FRIENDS


             If all be true that I do think, There are five
            reasons we should drink; Good wine - a friend -
            or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by -
                        Or any other reason why.

                                                  --- Henry Aldrich

             My manner of living is plain and I do not mean
                to be put out of it. A glass of wine and
                   a bit of mutton are always ready.

                                                  --- George Washington

                  What harm in drinking can there be,
                  Since punch and life so well agree.

                                                  --- Blacklock

           Drunkenness is the vice of a good constitution, or
       of a bad memory! Of a constitution so treacherously good,
        that it never bends until it breaks; or of a memory that
       recollects the pleasures of getting drunk, but forgets the
                        pains of getting sober.

                                                  --- Colton

               A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.

                                                  --- Omar Khayyam

                 He who drinks one glass of wine a day
                    Will live to die some other way.

                                                  --- Anon

              Their wine is the poison of dragons, and the
                          cruel venom of asps.

                                                  --- Deuteronomy 32:33

                 We made neere twentie gallons of wine.

                                                  --- Capt. John Smith
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                   COPYRIGHT (C) 1993 REID BLUEBAUGH

                              NOT FOR SALE

  The following guide is the property of its author, who hereby states
     that he retains the copyright except for where noted. You may
distribute it at will, provided that nothing in the guide, this notice,
 or any of the credits are altered in any way; and that you do not make
                           a profit from it.

 This guide may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, either in
 whole or part, without the express written consent of Reid Bluebaugh,
 The Guide-Creator. All questions, comments, reproduction requests, and
        general inquiries can be sent to the following address:
                       C2MXBLUE@FRE.FSU.UMD.EDU.

  All trademarks of products, company names, logos, phrases, service
   names, and/or slogans are trademarks of the respective companies,
             artists, and/or individuals, where applicable.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                           *** DISCLAIMER ***

     All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only.
In no way is this guide intended to persuade people of any age to drink
alcoholic beverages or to persuade people to reproduce fantasy
creations in real life. The author of the guide does not condone the
use of alcohol, especially for those under the legal age.  Hopefully,
information presented in this guide will educated on the dangers of
alcohol. In fact, it would be preferred that people use this guide to
allow there fictitious characters to indulge in the use of alcohol in
place of them. A character can be thrown in the trash, a person is a
lot harder to dispose of. In no way will the author of this guide or
the contributors of this guide be held responsible for other persons'
actions.
     Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal
consultation or legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real-
world or hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and
lawful guidance. The opinions and views contained in this guide reflect
those of the individual authors. The opinions, content, and
organization of this magazine are in no way connected with the faculty
and staff of any educational institute where this guide was found.

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                           TABLE OF CONTENTS


Initial Reactions To The Guide
Preface
Introduction To Alcohol
Proficiency In Brewing
Proficiency In Wine-Making
Proficiency In Distilling
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Distilleries
When The Still Explodes
Effects Of Alcohol
Recovery From Intoxication
Stimulants for Recovering From Intoxication
A More Sinister Side Of Drinking: Alcohol Addiction
Alcoholic Diseases
Crazy Drunk: A Look At Dipsomania
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Non-Weapon Proficiencies
Not A Typical Assortment Of Weapons
Getting To Know Your Booze
Spells With A Twist Of Lime
Lohocla's Tome of Ultimate Chaos
Popular & Strange Alcohols Amongst The Worlds
Alcohol Drink Additives
Moonmelons, Moonshine, Mooncreatures, Oh My!
Extracts From the Net Poison Digest
No Guide Is Complete Without Magic-Items
(MAGIC-ITEM) La Bouteille Magique de Chandon (Chandon's Amazing Bottle)
(MAGIC-ITEM) Dionysus's Chaotic Arrows
(MONSTER) What A Cute Rodent
(MONSTER) Hey Bartender, There's A Fish In My Drink
(MONSTER) Have A Picnic With These Ants
(MONSTER) The Best, The Beast
(MONSTER) Woof, Woof, Hiccup
(MONSTER) A Little Worm Can't Hurt
(MONSTER) A Monk's Best Friend and a Life Saver: The Saint Bernard
(MONSTER) I Think I Saw a Pink Elephant!!!
(MONSTER) A Horse is a Horse of Course: The Clydesdales
(MONSTER) What Just Flew in My Drink? An Alcohol Hummingbird
(MONSTER) Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Rum, A New Sea-Side Skeleton
(MONSTER) That Lich is a Luch
(MONSTER) A Dragon With More Than A Drinking Problem
The Guardian Of Alcohol Is A Leprechaun?
The Alcohol Deities
Holy/Unholy Alcohol
Alcohol Organizations Of All Sorts
Revenuer: Fighter Kit
Non-Player Characters & Their Work
Taverns And Bars From Campaigns
Taverns And Bars From Novels
Glossary
Drinking Songs
Some Famous And Not So Famous Quotes On Wine
Other Related Reading Materials
Special Thanks

                                                      UPDATED: 12/25/93
                                                      Merry Christmas
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                     INITIAL REACTIONS TO THE GUIDE


"NO THANKS."

                                             --- TSR's DRAGON magazine

"It looks GREAT. You are to be commended on a really terrific job. You
have outdone yourself. Enough cliches. I really liked it. Thanks."

                                             --- Morgan Blackheart

"Great stuff. See ya round."

                                             --- Andrew Scott

"...I think it is not big... it's GREAT."

                                             --- Carlos Fernando

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                                PREFACE


     In December '91, I began to make a small informative guide about
alcohol based on discussions of the ADND-L Bitnet list (an electronic
mail forum for AD&D). It was a small project that served the purposes
of the time. In '92 I worked on other guides with the help of others and
they turned into nice guides. I hoped to create a great guide with more
useful material than any guide of the past by re-working my initial
alcohol stuff, and so The Complete Guide To AD&D Alcohol was reborn. I
requested some help on the list for people to look it over.  Well, this
caused quite a stir and I realized that the guide was very incomplete
as suggestions for more sections started pouring in. Over a few months,
ideas, comments, criticisms, and additions kept coming. I even
established a small mailing list to correspond to these people.
Eventually, this final product was reached.
     One objective in making the guide was to make the guide
informative. AD&D is a role-playing guide and information is as
valuable if not more valuable than just rules. You might just learn a
thing or two as well. However, there are plenty of rules in the guide
for those who like them. To satisfy all gamers, attempts were made to
have an extensive guide filled with stuff.
     This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any
campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light
and fun. There are real-world problems with alcohol, but AD&D is a
fantasy world where the purpose is fun and recreation.
     This guide is extensive enough that there should be something for
everybody. And if not, then you can just throw it away (it's not like
you had to pay for it). I'm sure that TSR has plans to publish their
own alcohol guide (but that wouldn't fit into their campaign to get
young teenagers to play AD&D and to make their demon-hunting moms
happy). In fact, DRAGON magazine wasn't interested in anything that had
to do with alcohol, not even some harmless monsters. So, screw TSR! Who
needs them to make material. We can make it better and a whole hell of
a lot cheaper. Save your money for some dice or graph paper.
     For the most part, the material enclosed will have been
play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make
further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign. All rules are
optional and whatever is needed by the DM should be used. It is
suggested that you at least try to use everything and see how it goes.
If it works well then use it, if not get rid of it. I would be
interested in knowing the results and any changes you've made.
     This material is the fruit of my labor with special assistance
from a few people of the ADND-L Bitnet list. Although most material is
my own, it is not all my own. Some material was submitted from others,
and I merely edited it. Also, many people inspired much of the guide
(especially Vinnie in the beginning). Plus, they made a considerable
amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms (especially Ronald and
The Phantom near the end). Acknowledgment to these people is given in
the Special Thanks section of this guide. I would acknowledge them at
the beginning of the guide, but the acknowledgments are specific and
would be confusing if not read after reading the guide.
     For those that do have a copy, I ask that you drop me a line with
your comments whether good or bad. I like to know what people liked and
what they hated.
     For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is
unchanged. If you have any ideas, suggestions, comments, criticisms,
additions, recommendations, or complaints; I would be very interested
in hearing them. The only way the guide can get better is for everybody
to contribute in one form or another. At the very least I would be like
to be informed of the usefulness of the guide. All help would be
appreciated. Because I plan to make continuous updates, I would
appreciate that people do not make the guide available via FTP sites
because they tend to accumulate old out-of-date versions.
     I would appreciate that my name as well as those in the Special
Thanks section are not removed, changed, or altered since we are the
ones who deserve credit our names should remain with the guide. Of
course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they want. I just
ask that you respect those who made this guide possible because I'm
sure that they will continue to make great material for AD&D.
     As a final comment, I would like you to know that I am continuing
to add new material to this guide and would appreciate any
contributions that you could bring. You have a copy and can see which
sections could use more development. If there is something missing that
you would like to see then make it or let me know what you want. Only
through your assistance can this guide continue to grow.

                                             Reid Bluebaugh

P.S.

     Much criticism has been aimed at the guides that I create. Some
feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play. Some feel
that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more tables.
     I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of
players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will
prevent these things to happen. Having the rules on getting drunk and
having hangovers allows the DM to ensure that the character suffers,
but suffers fairly. Of course the player must still role-play the drunk
character, but now he will know what abilities are effected. On the
same note, I find that tables like the hangover table gives the
characters something to work with instead of just saying he has a
hangover. Rolling on the table and finding out you are vomiting can be
fun. The character still must role-play (e.g. he feels the urge to puke
and runs outside only to find that he upchucks on the captain of the
city watch). It just helps to give the players some direction. Being
free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing isn't
right for AD&D. AD&D has many rules and to criticize rules that others
make isn't fair. Why not criticize the combat system, spell casting,
and such (of course some of you do)? You could say that the limitations
put on spells hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish
with dramatic spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My point is
that some rules are to much, but using certain ones that you like at
the right time will enhance role-playing by giving players something to
work with. Its your game so do what you want.

     There are many types of players around, some like rules others
don't. I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask for.
I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I
like. I use what people want and suggest.
     Another complaint i that there is to much work for the DM to use
the rules interactivly. The problem is that the DM will have to look at
lots of tables and ask players to roll dice and it breaks the game
rhythm, but if he just passes a note or tells a player "the next
morning you feel very sick and wake-up with a terrible headache" it is
quick and the players have the opportunity of giving good role playing.
I feel that there is already a lot of dice rolling in AD&D. To make a
statement about saying "dice rolling in a tavern will hamper role-
playing" is like saying "to much dice rolling in combat hampers role-
playing". I don't think rolling a few dice while in a tavern will
impede role-playing. It is not like the dice rolling is an addition to
other dice rolling. Most players don't have many opportunities to roll
dice while characters visit a tavern. So this minimal amount of dice
rolling for alcohol reasons should not restrict role-playing. Besides
good DMs can allow the players to assists in examining tables and
rolling dice so it goes by quickly.
     I would like to quote a friend who seems to say it all about
people's complaints:

     "I think all those that complain that the guides are too strict or
     difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of
     the game, i.e. following the rules to the letter. I suppose
     someone ought to mention that what you're doing is creating guides
     for those who want to have a bit more realism in certain
     situations, not creating rules that MUST be played. In general,
     I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which
     can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for
     collecting all of this stuff."

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                        INTRODUCTION TO ALCOHOL


                  Beer after wine is not recommended.
                      Wine after beer is praised.

                                                  --- Anon


     People of the ancient world began to make alcoholic beverages not
because they wanted to become intoxicated, but for more practical
reasons. One reason was that there were very few ways in which food
could be preserved (with magic being one way, but common people are
limited in this regard). The people of those times found that fruit
juice soon spoiled, but that fermented juice, or wine, would keep. The
alcohol produced by the fermentation stopped the growth of the bacteria
which spoiled the juice. They also noticed that persons who drank
fermented liquors did not become sick as often as those that drank
water or unfermented beverages. This was not because alcoholic drinks
themselves were healthful, but many springs and wells were impure and
the drinking of the water caused sickness and death.
     Another factor that made alcohol popular is that the majority of
the population was poor and they spent the little money they had on
alcoholic drinks to escape from their sad reality.
     Brewing and wine making are very important to civilization. Beer
and ale are the principal beverages of the poor. Wines in great variety
are served at the tables of the rich. Many religious establishments use
wine during their services. Liquor is one of the products with which
the lords pay their debts under the feudal system. Merchant guilds
control the beer and wine trades and regulate business practices.
     Of course, there are some societies who adhere to the principal of
total abstinence from alcohol, or "teetotalism". The term "teetotal"
was suppose to be used first in one local society which had two classes
of members: those abstaining only from spirits, whose names were marked
O.P. (old pledge which allows wines and beers which seems necessary to
substitute the dangerous, polluted water) on the roll, and those who
included wine (i.e. no alcohol of any type) in their pledge. The latter
were identified with the letter T for Total.


Beer

     The common word "beer" seems to be derived throughout the known
realms from the word "bibere", meaning "to drink". Amongst the various
races, the base of the word is the mostly the same but the spelling is
somewhat different. Beer is known as "bier" to the dwarves, "biere" to
the elves, "bierra" to the gnomes, "bir" to the halflings, and "biru"
to those in the Orient.
     Beer is a beverage obtained by the yeast-caused fermentation of a
malted cereal, usually barley malt, to which hops and water have been
added. Among the earliest records of its use is a Ancient Baklunish
tablet, inscribed with a cuneiform recipe for the "wine of the grain".
The origin of beer brewing, however, has not been determined; nor is it
known whether bread or beer was invented first.
     The ancients are thought to have the first to render barley more
suitable for brewing by malting, a process in which the barley grains
are germinated, developing the enzymes that transform starch into
fermentable sugars.

Types of Beer

     Lager is a pale, medium-hop-flavored beer that averages 3.3 to 3.4
percent alcohol by weight and is high in carbonation.
     Lager is kept for several months at a temperature of about 33
degrees Fahrenheit in order to mellow. One of the problems faced by
most brewers of lager is the necessity of storing the beer in a cool,
undisturbed place for several months after brewing. The usual solution
was the use of underground caves, where such were available or could be
made. An extract from the diary of an adventurer:

    "We've recently discovered a mammoth cave complex that apparently
was connected to a long lost Brewery. Our party consists of 8 people.
We all carried torches, which were necessary to properly illuminate the
dark recesses, and to enable one to find his way out into daylight,
should he chance to stray away from the others. After passing through
several long cellars, with flagged with stone and roofs arched brick,
and lined on either side with rows of huge puncheons, we plunged still
deeper into the bowels of the earth, only to find still longer and more
numerous arched passages, all lined with the same enormous puncheons,
and the puncheons all filled with foaming lager beer, not the typical
treasure of our ilk but treasure just the same.
     The mapper figures the dimensions are 15 feet in width and 12 to
15 feet in height, built of brick and totaling 600 feet of tunnel. With
a capacity of close to 100,000 barrels.
     It really is exciting to discover these caves. I recall one
brewery that was named 'Cave Brewery', its cave covered an area of one
mile and were three stories deep."

     The temperature of caves like this one was not always cold enough
and in many cases ice had to be used, particularly during the summer
months, to assure the proper level for the beer being stored. This was
easy enough where ice could be cut from a frozen river or lake and kept
for summer needs. Ice could be a very profitable business by clever
entrepreneurs. Of course, ice isn't necessary for smart brewers. One
master brewer began brewing beer and had his cellar "so near an aceqia,
irrigation trench, that the flow of the water kept the brew cold.
Another ingenious fellow enslaved a few dozen ice toads to do his
bidding in his storage areas. Of course, there are many more monsters
that if used properly could be of great service. And one shouldn't have
to mention the use of magic.

     A seasonal dark-brown beer, bock, owes its color to a roasting of
the malt, and is heavier and richer in taste than lager.
     Stout, a very dark beer, is brewed with a combination of roasted
and regular malt and has a strong hop taste.
     Another dark beer, porter, is a mixture of ale and beer which
makes a sweet, malty brew, with a 6 to 7 percent alcohol content.
     Malt liquor is a beer made from a high percentage of fermentable
sugars that are largely derived from malt. The resulting beverage has a
higher alcohol content (5 to 9 percent by weight) than regular beer.
The flavor is mildly fruity and spicy, without a hint of hops.


Ale

     Ale is brewed from the same basic ingredients as lager beer; the
difference in flavor is caused in part by a different strain of yeast.
Ale yeast ferments at higher temperatures than lager and imparts a
distinctive tang and a somewhat higher alcohol content. Also, it is
generally brewed with more hops than beer, giving it the tart taste.
Ale has a pale color which comes from the use of a light-colored malt,
generally barley. Of course, ale is the drink of the dwarf, as they
were the first race in recorded history to brew it.


Mead

     Mead is an intoxicating alcoholic beverage made by fermenting
honey and water, sometimes with fruit and spices added as flavorings.
With beer and ale, mead is one of the oldest of fermented drinks. Mead
is favorite drink of the elf. Elves are thought to be the founders of
mead and given its sweet nature, they are given the credit.


Wine

     Wine is an alcoholic beverage made from fermented grape juices.
Growing grapes for wine is one of the world's most important farming
activities, and is a major feature of the economy of many
wine-producing countries. Most wines are named after the geological
places that they are produced. For example, a very popular sparkling
wine throughout the world is Champagne, the small wine community that
invented the champagne method for creating fortified wines.
     Wine had a more practical reason in the beginning than the
mere pleasure of drinking. Ancient peoples had little pure water to
drink, and they learned that alcohol formed by fermentation protected
fruit juice from spoiling. The people who drank this fermented juice,
or wine, did not get sick so often as those who drank the impure water.
This reason for wine drinking continues down to the present day in many
parts of the world. Many people take wine as part of their regular diet
and use it instead of water for drinking.
     Bards have sung the praises of wine throughout the ages. They
write of the friendliness of wine. Many clerics write of the
intoxicating powers of wine. One such reference is "Look not upon the
wine when it is red, when it giveth his color in a cup... at the last
it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder". Another
reference is "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging".
     Some gods of wine are also looked on as the god of good living, a
lawgiver, and a promoter of civilization. Wine also has come down
through the ages as part of religious celebrations.

Light

     Light wines may be either red, white, or rose and also dry,
medium, or sweet. For red wine, the grapes are crushed immediately
after picking and the stems generally removed. The yeasts present on
the skin come in contact with the grape sugars, and fermentation begins
naturally. Cultured yeasts, however, are sometimes added. During
fermentation the sugars are converted by the yeasts to ethyl alcohol
and carbon dioxide. The alcohol extracts color from the skins; the
longer the vatting period, the deeper the color. Traditional maturation
of red wine takes up to two years in 50-gallon oak casks, during which
time the wine is racked - drawn off its lees, or sediment -three or
four times into fresh casks to avoid bacterial spoilage. Further aging
is usually advisable after bottling.
     The juice of most grape varieties is colorless. Grapes for white
wine are also pressed immediately after picking, and the must starts to
ferment. Fermentation can proceed until it is completed, which will
make a dry white wine; or it can be stopped to make a sweeter wine.
Minimum contact with the air retains the freshness of the grapes.
     To make rose wines, the fermenting grape juice is left in contact
with the skins just long enough for the alcohol to extract the required
degree of color. Vinification then proceeds as for white wine.

Sparkling

     The best and most expensive sparkling wines are made by the
champagne method, in which cultured yeasts and sugar are added to the
base wine, inducing a second fermentation in the bottle. The resulting
carbon dioxide is retained in the wine. Other methods, however, such as
carbonation, are also practiced.

Fortified

     The alcohol content of fortified wines is raised by adding grape
spirits. With port, brandy added during fermentation kills off the
yeasts, stopping fermentation, and leaves the desired degree of natural
grape sugar in the wine. Sherry is made by adding spirit to the fully
fermented wine. Its color, strength, and sweetness are then adjusted to
the required style before bottling.

Aromatized

     Aromatized wines are famous for their distinctive odor, called
bouquet. It results from the addition of aromatic herbs and spices to
the wine. Such wines have an alcoholic content of 15 to 20 percent.

Serving Wine

     Many persons prefer to serve only one wine with a meal, usually a
dry wine. When a number of wines are served with a formal dinner, they
are served in the following manner. Sherry is served with the appetizer
or soup. Any dry white wine goes well with fish or seafood.  Meat
courses are best accompanied by any dry red wine. A dry white wine
should be served with creamed dishes. A sparkling or sweet wine is good
for dessert.




Bottle Storage

     Wine bottles should be laid on their side to prevent the corks
from drying out and the air getting at the wine. There should be no
great fluctuation in temperature: 55-60 degrees Fahrenheit for reds,
50-55 degrees Fahrenheit for whites being ideal. Humidity should be 70
to 80 percent, and the storage place should be free from drafts, light,
and vibration.


Liquor

Distilled

     Brandy is obtained by distilling wine or a fermented fruit mash,
after it has been aged in oak casks. The alcohol content of brandy is
45 to 55 percent.
     Whiskey is distilled from a fermented mash of corn, rye, barley,
or wheat. It is then aged in wooden barrels. Whiskey has an alcohol
content ranging from 40 to 54 percent. Whiskey is designated as
straight or blended. Straight whiskey is the pure distillate, which is
reduced or cut, to the desired alcohol strength with distilled water.
Blended whiskey is straight whiskey blended with pure alcohol.
     Rum is distilled fermented mash of sugar cane or molasses.

Compounded

     Compounded liquors are pure distilled spirits which have been
flavored with various seeds, roots, leaves, flowers, or fruits.
     Gin is made by distilling a mash of rye, corn, or other grain in a
special kind of still called a pot still. Juniper berries give the gin
flavor. The alcohol content of gin is about 40 percent.
     Cordial is made by combining some spirit such as brandy with sugar
and certain flavorings, Examples of the fruit cordials are apricot,
blackberry, cherry, raspberry, and strawberry liqueurs. plant cordials
include creme de menthe (flavored with mint), creme de casso (whose
flavor is obtained from cascao and vanilla beans), and creme de rose
(flavored with vanilla and essential oil of rose petals).

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                         PROFICIENCY IN BREWING


     God loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.

                                             --- Ralph Waldo Emerson


Introduction

     The character with the Brewing proficiency is trained in the art
of brewing beers and other strong drinks. The character can prepare
brewing formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a
brewery, control fermentation, and age the finished product.

The Process Of Brewing

     Brewing is the making of fermented alcoholic beverages, such as
beer and ale, from cereal grains. The term brewing is usually applied
to all the steps in the process of making beer and ale, but actually
the operation has two steps, malting and brewing.
     Malting is the preparation of the grain for the brewing. The
grain, usually wheat or barley, is soaked in water for 48 to 76 hours.
The water is drained and replaced with fresh water at least once a day.
When the grain is soft, it is piled in heaps. Here the grain starts to
sprout small root shoots. This is called germination. When the
sprouting starts, the grain is spread out to a depth of about ten
inches. When the sprouts are about two-thirds the length of the grain,
the germination is halted by placing the grain in an oven called a dry
kiln. The grain, or malt as brewers call it at this stage, is then
baked dark and crisp in temperatures ranging 155 degrees to 220 degrees
Fahrenheit. The lower temperatures are used in making light beer, and
the higher temperatures for dark beer.
     Brewing begins after the dry malt is crushed between rollers and
mixed with water to form a mash. The mash is made thinner with hot
water and brought to a temperature of 145 degrees Fahrenheit. The mash
is stirred constantly at this temperate. During this stage of brewing
the beer or ale undergoes chemical changes which make the exact
temperature very important. The heat is increased slowly to about 160
degrees Fahrenheit. This liquid, called wort, is then drained from the
grain, or grist.
     Hops made from the dried flowers of the hop vine are then added to
the wort and the mixture is boiled for one to six hours. One to twelve
pounds of hops are mixed with every hundred gallons of wort. The hops
keep the beverage from spoiling and also add flavor to it.
     The boiled wort is cooled and placed in fermenting vats. About
five pounds of yeast are added to each one hundred gallons of wort.
Most beer is made with bottom fermentation, using a yeast that becomes
active at temperatures from 43 degrees to 46 degrees Fahrenheit and
stays at the bottom of the fermentation vat. Top fermentation is used
for ale, porter, and stout. A yeast is used which becomes active at
temperatures from 60 degrees to 68 degrees Fahrenheit.
     After fermenting several days, the wort is run into a settling
vat. The yeast rises to the surface and is skimmed off. The beer is
then drawn off and stored in casks and barrels to age before being
bottled.

Proficiency

     A normal proficiency check is not made because normal proficiency
checks only judge success or failure and not quality. Instead the
percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the brew (using
Table 1). An initial modifier of 6 will guarantee that a brewer will
never make a terrible drink. A one time modifier equal to Wisdom is
added. Also for each slot given to this proficiency, a modifier equal
to Intelligence is added.

TABLE 1: Quality Of Brew

Die Roll  Quality
01-05     Terrible
06-15     Very Poor
16-35     Poor
36-65     Normal
66-85     Good
86-95     Very Good
96-00     Excellent

     Thus, our hero Rath (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three
non-weapon proficiency slots allocated to brewing because he hopes to
be a master brewer some day and retire from the life of adventuring. He
decides to whip up a batch of malt liquor beer. After completing the
brewing process, it is time to sample the quality of Rath Malt Liquor
Beer. He rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would normally
produce a poor (13+6=19) quality brew. However, due to Rath's
experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); he gains a modifier
of 53. Therefore, the quality of Rath's beer is good (72).

                       PROFICIENCY IN WINE-MAKING


                Bier is Menschenwerk, Wein is von Gott!
                   Beer is made by men, wine by God!

                                                  --- Martin Luther


Introduction

     The character with the Wine-Making proficiency is trained in the
art of fermenting fruits and making the various wines from them. The
character can prepare wine formulas, select quality ingredients, set up
and manage a winery, control fermentation, and age the finished
product.

The Process Of Wine-Making

     Wine is the fermented juice of the grape or some other fruit.
Some fruit juice ferments easily because it already contains sugar.
The more widely used fruits are the grape, apple, cherry, and
blackberry. The quality and quantity of fruits depend on geographical
geological, and climatic conditions in the vineyards, and on the grape
variety and methods of cultivation. Some of these factors may be
governed by local laws. The crop is harvested in the autumn when the
grapes contain the optimum balance of sugar and acidity. Wine falls
into two general groups, dry and sweet, depending on the taste and the
percentage of sugar remaining or after fermentation.
     Wine grapes are crushed, but not enough to crush the seeds. The
must, or juice from the crushing, is run into vats which hold from 25
to 100 barrels. The juice is then allowed to ferment the length of time
needed for the type of wine wanted. The first must that flows from the
crushed fruit makes the choicest wines, and is drawn of first. When the
fermentation has gone on to the stage desired, the wine is drawn off
into casks called tuns. It remains in these casks until it is suitable
for drinking. It is in this stage that the chemical changes take place
which fix the bouquet, or flavor or aroma, of the wine. Dry wines are
made by allowing most of the sugar to turn into alcohol. The sweetness
of sweet wines comes from the sugar allowed to remain in the wine.

Proficiency

     A normal proficiency check is not made because normal proficiency
checks only judge success or failure and not quality. Instead the
percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality of the wine (using
Table 1). An initial modifier of 6 will guarantee that a wine maker
will never make a terrible wine. A one time modifier equal to Wisdom is
added. For each slot given to this proficiency, a modifier equal to
Intelligence is added.


TABLE 1: Quality Of Wine

Die Roll  Quality
01-05     Terrible
06-15     Very Poor
16-35     Poor
36-65     Normal
66-85     Good
86-95     Very Good
96-00     Excellent


     Thus, our hero Roxanna (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three
non-weapon proficiency slots allocated to wine making because she hopes
to be a master wine maker some day and retire from the life of
adventuring. She decides to whip up a batch of light, sweet, red, apple
wine (one of her favorites). After completing the wine making process,
it is time to sample the quality of Roxanna Apple Dimple' Wine. She
rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would normally produce a
poor (13+6=19) quality wine. However, due to Roxanna's experience,
Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); she gains a modifier of 53.
Therefore, the quality of her wine is good (72).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                       PROFICIENCY IN DISTILLING


Introduction

     The character with the Distilling proficiency is trained in the
art of distilling hard liquor. The character can prepare distilling
formulas, select quality ingredients, set up and manage a distillery,
control fermentation, and age the finished product.

The Process Of Distilling

     Distillation is the process in which a complex mixture or
substance is broken up into relatively pure or individual components by
being heated until the components vaporize one by one and are made to
condense individually. The next section of this guide deals extensively
with the process.


Proficiency

     Two proficiency checks are made. The first is a normal 1d20 check.
Success or failure is irrelevant. The still will explode on a natural
roll of 20. The second check is not a normal proficiency check because
normal proficiency checks only judge success or failure and not
quality.  Instead the percentile dice are rolled to decide the quality
of the brew (using Table 1). An initial modifier of 6 will guarantee
that a brewer will never make a terrible drink. A one time modifier
equal to Wisdom is added. Also for each slot given to this proficiency,
a modifier equal to Intelligence is added.


TABLE 1: Quality Of Liquor

Die Roll  Quality
01-05     Terrible
06-15     Very Poor
16-35     Poor
36-65     Normal
66-85     Good
86-95     Very Good
96-00     Excellent


     Thus, our hero Rath (Intelligence: 15, Wisdom: 8) has three
non-weapon proficiency slots allocated to distilling because he hopes
to be a master illegal distiller some day and retire from the life of
adventuring. He decides to whip up a batch of whiskey. After completing
the distilling process, it is time to sample the quality of Rath
Daniels Whiskey. He rolls a mere 13 on the percentile dice, which would
normally produce a poor (13+6=19) quality brew. However, due to Rath's
experience, Intelligence (3*15=45), and Wisdom (8); he gains a modifier
of 53. Therefore, the quality of Rath's whiskey is good (72).

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         EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT DISTILLERIES


                         *** IMPORTANT NOTE ***

     It is a federal felony to actually use this information to build
your own still and produce alcohol. The information presented here is
simply for informative, educational and game-use only. In no way is
this document meant to persuade people to actually produce illegal
alcohol. It is ill advised to do so, but if you must there are legal
ways to do so. It is possible, in special cases, to get a permit to
build an experimental still, work on solar power, or power an alcohol
gassed automobile. If you decide you want more information, look in the
library under fuel alcohol, distillery, or wine making. Have fun but
please use discretion.


     The following is a large excerpt from a discussion about
distilleries with Jesse Duke, Master Bootlegger. Jesse is considered
one of the finest moonshiners in the land. Although he operated
illegally, many law enforcers overlooked his operations for just a sip
of his elixir while others hunted him down because he was considered
the prize catch. Now retired, Jesse lives of the riches of his
successful career. His love now is telling tales for all who will
listen of his many adventures. Many sages have regarded him as an
expert on distillation. Unfortunately, nobody can get Jesse to put his
knowledge on paper. At least we can listen to him...


     "So you want to know about a still do you? Well, I suppose I'm the
expert around these parts. Your not with the law are you? Of course,
I'm in retirement now and don't distill, except for medicinal reasons.
     A still is a very old, very simple concept. It has been postulated
that perhaps the reason that people actually started farming was in
order to produce an excess of grain from which to produce alcohol. At
any rate beer is made simply from fermenting most any grain starch.
Whiskey, hard liquor, or other distilled drinks are made by removing
water from the base material. If you distill beer you have whiskey,
wine wields brandy, potato mash wields vodka. The technology to do this
is available among almost any people's that are capable of speech it
seems. All that is required is a source of heat, a cooking vessel, and
some sort of cooling element. The principle of the distillery, or still
for short, is that water boils (i.e. becomes vapor) at 100 degrees
Celsius (212 Fahrenheit). Alcohol (ethyl alcohol that is) on the other
hand boils at about 73 degrees Celsius (170 Fahrenheit). If a liquid
contains both water and alcohol and is heated to a temperature
somewhere between these boiling points then it is possible to drive off
the alcohol and leave the water behind. Now all that is left to do is
capture these intoxicating vapors to increase the percentage of joy in
the drink.
     How is this done? The absolute simplest way is to place a freshly
fermented, malted drink (beer in the raw) into a container and heat it.
Seal the container except for a single tube/pipe/etc. leading away and
into a tub of water. At the other end, allow the tube to empty into a
cup or jug that has been set in a bed of ice. This is not the safest,
or easiest still to run, it is the simplest. Constant care must be
taken of the temperature, as there are no safe guards against
overheating the beer (thus boiling off a good bit of water too) or an
explosion. This can be caused by the careless who don't clean the
equipment properly. A build up in the tubing can cause the pot to build
up steam, and the you can say "Good night!"
     The basic workings of the still are as follows. The pot is the
containment vessel for the crude fermented beverage. A heat source is
applied to the bottom of this to drive vapor out of the top vent pipe.
This then leads more or less directly to the worm. The worm is a coil
of tubing which acts to cool the vapor back into a liquid, which will
hopefully be noticeably more intoxicating than the original material. A
pressure gauge and/or valve can be added to the pot as a safety
measure. A thermometer/rheostat can also be added to the pot to more
closely control the temperature for optimum performance. However as
hundreds of years of backwoods moonshining can attest, there is no need
for such extravagances to produce good quality liquor. The worm can be
made from almost anything. At one point car radiators were popular,
however due to their less than clean nature, this is HIGHLY
unrecommendable. The lead used in soldiering at the manufacturer can
also easily react with alcohol to produce lead nitrates and other
nasties that can permanently relieve you of the necessity of sight.
More common, and safer is a quarter inch diameter copper tube, wound
into a coil, and submersed in a barrel or bathtub of cold, slowly
running water. A heat source should be diffuse if possible, a common
trick was to place the pot on a piece of slate, then use a wood fire to
heat the slate. This produced an even, slow heat that tended to prevent
scorching of the grain sediment and eventually leaving a burnt taste to
the end product.
     Improvements are constantly being made to this basic design. One
of the most revolutionary, and important additions is that of the
thumper keg. When this is added to a still, it halves the distilling
time and doubles the final proof of the beverage. The thumper keg is
nothing more than a second pot which is not directly heated. Hot vapors
from the real pot are piped over into the bottom of the thumper keg.
The vapors then percolate through the thumper keg's hold of new crude
alcohol. As it cools the vapor, water is drawn from the vapor. As the
thumper keg's liquid warms, more alcohol is vaporized. Thus, when the
vapors finally leave the top of the thumper keg, they have essentially
been processed twice. Before the advent of the thumper keg, the crude
mash would first be run for "singlings". These singlings would be run
through the still a second time to produce the final whiskey. Now it
was possible to produce a high quality, high alcohol content liquor on
the very first run.
     An additional attachment was invented long before the thumper keg,
but is attached after it in the normal sequence of the still. This is
the dry box. Simply said, it is a air-sealed box that takes the vapors
from the thumper keg (or the pot, if a thumper keg is not used) and
sends the vapors out the other side. In the mean time, the vapors have
cooled slightly and water has condensed on the inside of the box.
(Please note that this box is empty, thus "dry", except for the vapors
passing through it.) The box is so angled that any water condensing
inside runs through a pipe back to the thumper keg or pot. There should
be three pipes attached to this dry box. One leads out of the box
towards the worm, one leads out of the box into the thumper keg, and
one from the thumper keg to the dry box. The reason there are two pipes
between the dry box and thumper keg is to prevent a back log of liquid
and a build up of pressure in the dry box. The pipe meant for the
return of water to the thumper keg should be visibly lower to gravity
than the pipe meant primarily for transportation of steam/alcohol
vapor. Water from the dry box can be alternatively bled out onto the
ground, or into a nearby stream, but it may still contain some alcohol,
and for this reason it is often simply cycled back into the still.


     The worm is probably the most important piece of the still, as far
as final quality goes. All the careful care in the world can be put
into making sure that the pot doesn't get too hot, the still can be
clean as a whistle every time you run it, and if the worm is nothing
more than gunky, disgusting, rusty piece of metal, your liquor will
suck. Besides, that's not how they did it in the good old days, right?
They used wooden kegs for the pot and thumper keg, and chances are that
they used a can in place of a coil. A can is a sort of sleeve that has
an input opening in one side for the vapor, and an output port for the
leaving liquor. Basically it looked like a very thick walled can
without the top or bottom. This allowed the cooling water to flow over
a lot of surface area. It isn't easy to make something like this. It
would involve a good bit of soldering with plumbers solder (i.e. no
lead) and two large, closely matched cans. Perhaps a better way is to
use copper tubing, coiled and submerged in a contained of water. (The
can has to be submerged in cold water too by the way.) This coil of
copper tubing is what is most commonly referred to as the worm.
     That is the basics of the hardware. There are other nifty little
adaptations that can be added but each requires a bit more technology
than the last, so we'll keep it simple. Next is needed the knowledge of
how to actually take field corn and produce drinkable white lightening
from it. The true artists will insist that it be done with grain, and
grain alone, while the pragmatist will say that adding sugar really
doesn't affect taste that much and greatly increases the yield. You
can decide for yourself whether sugar should be used or not. First you
need starter stock. Take 10% of whatever amount of corn your going to
work with and place it in a warm damp spot for about a week. Perhaps
you will keep it in jars behind the stoves (don't allow the seeds to
become submerged, they can drown believe it or not) in a burlap sack
buried in a manure pile (please, please wash them VERY well) or
whatever. After they have sprouted with 3-4 inch growths (and
preferably before the leaves break free of their casings) grind them
up. For small batches a sharp knife and cutting may work. Larger
batches may require a meat grinder or something. This will act as an
enzyme to start breaking starch down into sugar. Next thing that needs
done (and should be down simultaneously with making the starter) is to
grind up the other 90% of your corn. You might try buying ready round
corn meal, maybe use that meat grinder again, perhaps soak the corn in
water then try to grind them up. Whatever works for you. Then mix the
ground corn with water to make a mix that won't quite hold a spoon
straight up. About a gallon of mashed corn to three gallons of water,
or less if you have already soaked the corn in water prior to grinding.
     Now heat this grain/water till it is almost boiling, keep it
simmering for 10 to 30 minutes. Then let it slowly cool, when you can
comfortably put a finger in it, mix in the starter. Stir this around
for another 20 to 30 minutes. Keep it warm during this time. If you
desire (and it is a good idea to do this) yeast can be added at this
point. Best thing to do is get brewer's yeast at a store that sells
supplies for making wine, and then culturing the yeast in sugar water
as per instructions with the package (if any). Otherwise you can use
regular baker's yeast, or not use any, and trust wild yeast to do the
work (keep your fingers crossed here). Watch the mix carefully, as
without sensitive equipment it is hard to tell when the yeast have
stopped working. The yeast will form a foam or crust as they work. As
they finish, the foam will break up and disappear. The proper time to
run it through the still is when the foam is pretty well gone, but not
totally, there should be a film of it left with some holes poking
through. Wait to long and you will have wood alcohol rather than grain,
it is not possible, no matter who tells you different to return wood
alcohol back to grain alcohol. I cannot possibly emphasize enough the
number of injuries and fatalities occurring from attempts to "purify"
wood alcohol. Run it too early and you won't get a good yield of
anything but corn starch and water. It is better to run it too early,
trust me.
     The next major thing to know is how to know when to stop
collecting the distillate. One easy way is to collect a small amount of
the end product, splash it on the pot, and light it with a match or
lighter. It should burst into blue flame. If it doesn't, there is too
much water in it. Either turn down the heat on the pot if you are just
starting, or stop collecting if its been going a while. By this time
you have as much of the alcohol as you'll be able to get. Another,
better way, is too watch the distillate as it pours out of the worm.
It will sputter at first, slowly develop into a ready stream
(hopefully), then at a certain point it will sputter a bit again, and
then the twist to the stream will change very slightly as the content
changes from mostly grain alcohol to mostly water. These are very hard
changes to catch, and it takes practice to learn. It is however the
most accurate means by which to gauge the distillate without high tech
equipment.
     That is about all there is to it. There are many, many other
details that have been discovered in the many years of distilling, but
these are the basics needed to build a simple still. Now, don't go off
half-cocked kid. Distilling is illegal in this country without an
official permit from the High Court. And of course, permits are only
issued to the rich merchants that can put some gold pieces in
important people's pockets. But of course, you young adventuring types
try everything at least once, more until you get a sword in your face."

                                        -- Jesse Duke
                                           Master Bootlegger

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                        WHEN THE STILL EXPLODES


     When a non-proficient character distills, a DM should decide if a
still explodes or not mainly based on campaign use (i.e. plot use,
serves a purpose to an adventure, etc.). If the DM wants to leave it up
to chance, a still will explode on a roll of 15-20 on a 1d20. A
proficient character will have an exploding still on a roll of 20 on a
1d20.
     An exploding still does a lot of damage to creatures and things
that are near it. Most of the damage comes from the force of the blast
and from the intense heat of the steam. A smaller amount comes from the
shrapnel created by the still itself flying apart.
     Once a still explodes, a creature in the area of effect (see Table
A, Distance) suffers damage if not sufficiently protected. Only half
the damage is received if a saving throw vs. breath weapon is
successful.


TABLE A: Heat Damage

Distance       Damage
00' - 01'11"   4d10+10
02' - 05'11"   3d10+10
06' - 11'11"   2d10+10
12' - 16'      1d10+10


     The heat damage is not the only danger. Anyone in the vicinity
could easily take shrapnel damage from the pieces of the still flying
about. Typically, stills are of wood or metal. A wooden still tends to
produce more shrapnel. A metal still tends to split rather than truly
shatter.

     Once a still explodes, a creature in the area of effect (see Table
B, Distance) suffers shrapnel damage if not sufficiently protected.
Only half the damage is received if a save vs. breath weapon is
successful.


TABLE B: Shrapnel Damage

Distance       Wood Damage   Metal Damage
00' - 01'11"   4d4+5         4d4+1
02' - 05'11"   3d4+5         3d4+1
06' - 11'11"   2d4+5         2d4+1
12' - 16'      1d4+5         1d4+1


     The DM should note that the information provided here is for a
still with a pot of 40-80 gallon capacity. This would make about 1-2
gallons or 5-10 bottles of liquor in a run with a maximum of about 8-10
runs in a day. Of course, fermenting time must be taken into
consideration. Generally, fermenting time is a week or more depending
on fermenting material, starting yeast, starter mash, temperature, and
other factors.
     For different sizes of stills, the DM should adjust the damage and
make the area of effect larger.

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                           EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL

              "Drink hardy me 'lads for tomorrow we die!"

                                                  --- Reid Bluebaugh

                 In wine's intoxication lays the truth!

                                                  --- Anon


     After consuming a serving of alcohol, a character must make a
constitution check with the following penalties:

     Beer      -1
     Ale       -2
     Wine      -3
     Mead      -4
     Liquor    -5

The penalties accumulate with each check per state of intoxication.
For example, after Rath drinks his third ale he must make his
constitution check with a -6 penalty. If Rath moves into a state of
slight intoxication (see below) due to a failed constitution check, his
ale penalty is reset back to -2. Of course, the penalty will continue
to get worse as he drinks in this state and reset to -2 when he goes
into a moderate state of intoxication.

     NOTE: Serving sizes vary depending on type. For example, a typical
serving size of liquor is around 2 fluid ounces. Beer, ale, and mead
have a serving size around 16 to 20 fluid ounces. While a serving size
for wine is around 10 to 14 ounces. The serving size is decided by the
DM.

     If a character fails his/her constitution check, his/her state of
intoxication moves up. There are three states: slight, moderate, great.
The state an intoxicated person is in will have the following effects:

Intoxication Table:

Effect                   State of Intoxication
  on                   Slight   Moderate   Great
Morale                   +1        +2        +3
Intelligence             -1        -3        -6
Wisdom                   -1        -4        -7
Dexterity                 0        -2        -5
Charisma                  0        -1        -4
Attack Dice               0        -1        -5
Hit Points                0        +1        +3
% of Spell Failure       25        50       100


NOTES ON INTOXICATION TABLE

Morale pertains only to non-player characters.

Intelligence, Wisdom, Dexterity, and Charisma indicate the number of
points the various characteristics are lowered temporarily due to
intoxication. Remember to check the PHB to see the effects of attribute
lose.

Attack dice refers to adjustments to THAC0 and saving throws. An
opponents saving throws vs. magical attacks made by an intoxicated
character is raised by the same number.

Hit points are increased due to the effects of the alcohol on the
intoxicate person. He/she can physically withstand more punishment.
OPTIONAL RULE: Make the hit point adjustments +10% and +30%, rather
than +1 and +3.

% of Spell Failure refers to the chance that a spell that is cast will
fail. A mage or cleric has difficulty with somatic and verbal
components due to his/her inebriation. When in a great state of
intoxication, the mage/cleric has complete memory loss of the spell and
must relearn the spell upon recuperation.

     Being in a state of great intoxication is dangerous. When a
character is in this state, he/she no longer continues to make a
constitution check. Instead he/she must make a saving throw vs. poison.
A cumulative penalty of -1 goes into effect as the character continues
to drink. If a character fails his/her saving throw, he/she passes out.
With each saving throw a character has a cumulative 5% of permanently
lowering his/her constitution by 1 point.

Example

     For example, Rath has just missed his constitution check from
his last glass of ale and is now in a state of great intoxication.
He orders another glass and drinks it. He makes his save vs. poison and
has a 5% chance of lowering his constitution, which doesn't happen.
He orders another glass and gulps it down. He makes his save vs.
poison and now has a 10% chance of lowering his constitution, which
doesn't happen. He orders yet another glass and gulps it down. This
time he misses his save and passes out. Now he has 15% chance of
lowering his constitution, which unfortunately happens. Rath is now
passed out and has a permanent deduction of 1 from his constitution.
Another victim of drunkenness.




Optional Wisdom Rule

     As a person continues to drink, he/she tends to consume more and
more alcohol without really noticing it. Thus, the consumer must begin
making a Wisdom check after each drink once he/she reaches a state of
slight intoxication. A successful check allows the consumer to quit
drinking if he/she desires. A failed check indicates that a person will
attempt to have another drink if possible (i.e. has money, alcohol is
available, etc.).
     A friendly, non-hostile person around the drinker who wants to
prevent him/her from continuing to drink can attempt to by making a
successful Charisma check. Success indicates that the person talked the
drinker into stopping. However, a failed check makes the drinker angry
and no further attempts can be made by the less that charismatic
person.


Optional Weight Rule

     A person that weighs more tends to handle alcohol better than one
who weighs less. Since most creatures' weights aren't known, the best
indication of weight would be size. Thus, the penalties/bonuses are
relative to size. The following penalties/bonuses can be assigned to
the constitution check that is made after consuming a serving of
alcohol:

     Tiny           -4
     Small          -2
     Man             0
     Large          +2
     Huge           +4
     Gargantuan     +6


Optional Drunk Disposition Rule

     Once a person enters a state of great intoxication, his/her
disposition has a tendency to change. The DM has a few options in how
to handle this. Option one, the player chooses from the table which
disposition he/she wishes the character to have. Option two, the player
rolls once on the table for the character and makes this the
disposition the character will always have when drunk. Option three,
the player rolls on the table each time the character is drunk.
     The effects to disposition are optional. Some DMs may not wish to
use the effects because it may cause game imbalance.


TABLE: Disposition

Roll  Disposition                       Effect
 1    animated, excited, alert          +1d4 to save vs. passing out
 2    sleepy, "Zzzzzz"                  -1d4 to save vs. passing out
 3    show-off, foolhardy, challenging  +1d4 morale
 4    melancholy, annoying              -1d4 morale
 5    chatty, know-it-all               +1d4 intelligence
 6    quiet, content, stupefied         -1d4 intelligence
 7    happy, everything seems good      +1d4 wisdom
 8    mean, cranky, annoyed             -1d4 wisdom
 9    humorous, amusing, comical        +1d4 charisma
10    egotistical, cocky, bragging      -1d4 charisma
11    clumsy, clutz, "Oops"             -1d4 dexterity
12    horny, aroused                    see boo-hag effect


Optional Boo-Hag Effect

     The effect of being drunk (i.e. in a state of great intoxication)
makes the character more susceptible to seduction. This effect is
better known as the "boo-hag" effect. In other words, the appearance
and charisma of a person of the opposite sex no longer matters. This is
represented by a-1d4+1 to any seduction rolls made by the character
when a person is trying to seduce him/her. Note that the character is
also 50% more likely to attempt seduction of other people.


Optional/Alternative Intelligence Loss Rule

     A DM may opt to make a character lose a point of intelligence
rather than constitution when a save vs. poison is failed. A more
vindictive DM may opt to make the character lose the constitution point
and then make him/her roll another constitution check. Failure
indicates that the character loses a point of intelligence. The main
reason for this is because prolonged use of alcohol kills brain cells.


Alternative Percentage Loss

     Some feel that the percent chance of losing a point of
intelligence or constitution is to drastic. A night of hard drinking
shouldn't do a person in. Rather, extended periods of serious boozing
should do such severe damage to the character. Therefore, when a
character is in a state of great intoxication, he/she no longer
continues to make a constitution check. Instead he/she must make a
saving throw vs. poison. A cumulative penalty of -1 goes into effect as
the character continues to drink. If a character fails his/her saving
throw, he/she passes out. With each saving throw a character has a
cumulative .1% of permanently lowering his/her constitution by 1 point.
This cumulative percent is cumulative throughout the character's life.


Alternative Alcohol Penalties

     Some campaigns may consider the penalties for the various
alcoholic drinks to be incorrect. An alternative is provided for those
who wish it. Thus, after consuming a serving of alcohol, a character
must make a constitution check with the following penalties:

     Beer      -1
     Ale       -2
     Liquor    -2
     Wine      -3
     Mead      -3

Alcohol And Races

     People have suggested that certain races like dwarves and elves
should have bonuses or penalties when drinking alcohol because they
would naturally have more or less of a tolerance. Well, technically
this could be and is true. Table 8 on page 20 of the Player's Handbook
lists racial ability adjustments during character creation. Dwarves
receive a +1 to constitution and elves receive a -1 to constitution.
Furthermore, demihumans like dwarves have bonuses to poison saves and
poison saves play an important role in these rules. Therefore, since
alcohol checks are based on constitution and adjustments to
constitution are made during character creation and certain races get
bonuses to poison saves, there is no need for any additional
adjustments. However, DMs may still give bonuses and penalties to races
if he/she wishes.
Paladins

     Nice DMs may allow a paladin to have +1 bonus to constitution when
consuming alcohol because they have a great immunity to such "evil"
like alcohol. On the other hand, the DM may induce a -1 penalty to
constitution because such poisonous toxins like alcohol are dangerous
to the purity of a paladin.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                       RECOVERY FROM INTOXICATION


         Wine, a turn-coat; first a friend, and then an enemy.

                                                  --- Thomas Fuller

      Wine prepares the heart for love, Unless you take too much.

                                                  --- Ovid


     Time is the only cure for intoxication, although certain
stimulants might shorten the recovery time. Note that a person may only
be affected by stimulants once.

Recovery From Intoxication:

Intoxication   Recovery          Stimulant Multiplier
   Level         Time          Mild    Medium    Strong

Slight         1-4 hours      x .80    x .65      x .50
Moderate       4-8 hours      x .85    x .70      x .55
Great          8-14 hours     x .90    x .75      x .55
Comatose       14-20 hours    x .95    x .80      x .60

     As a person recovers, his/her statistics that are affected begin
to go back to normal. For example, a comatose person's recovery time is
19 hours and his/her stats are based on this. Five hours later, he/she
moves into a state of great intoxication and his/her stats are relative
to this state, and so on.


Having A Hangover

     Although the victim's statistics will slowly return to normal, he
will suffer unpleasant after-effects that are known in the drunks'
world as a hangover. After a person finally gets down to a state of
slight intoxication, he/she rolls on Table 1 (1d100) and receives a
hangover effect.


TABLE 1: Hangover Effects Table
Die
Roll    Effect
 01     blinding headache, vomiting, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
 02     blinding headache, vomiting, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
 03     blinding headache, vomiting, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs
 04     blinding headache, vomiting, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs
 05     blinding headache, vomiting, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs
 06     blinding headache, vomiting, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs
 07     blinding headache, the squats, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
 08     blinding headache, the squats, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
 09     blinding headache, the squats, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs
 10     blinding headache, the squats, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs
 11     blinding headache, the squats, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs
 12     blinding headache, the squats, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs
 13     blinding headache, nausea, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
 14     blinding headache, nausea, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
 15     blinding headache, nausea, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs
 16     blinding headache, nausea, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs
 17     blinding headache, nausea, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs
 18     blinding headache, nausea, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs
 19     blinding headache, the squats, trembling
 20     blinding headache, vomiting, trembling
 21     blinding headache, nausea, trembling
 22     blinding headache, the squats
 23     blinding headache, vomiting
 24     blinding headache, nausea
 25     blinding headache, trembling
 26     blinding headache
 27     headache, vomiting, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
 28     headache, vomiting, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
 29     headache, vomiting, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs
 30     headache, vomiting, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs
 31     headache, vomiting, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs
 32     headache, vomiting, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs
 33     headache, the squats, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
 34     headache, the squats, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
 35     headache, the squats, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs
 36     headache, the squats, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs
 37     headache, the squats, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs
 38     headache, the squats, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs
 39     headache, nausea, -3 to DEX and CON for 1d4 hrs
 40     headache, nausea, -3 to WIS and INT for 1d4 hrs
 41     headache, nausea, -2 to DEX and CON for 1d6 hrs
 42     headache, nausea, -2 to WIS and INT for 1d6 hrs
 43     headache, nausea, -1 to DEX and CON for 1d8 hrs
 44     headache, nausea, -1 to WIS and INT for 1d8 hrs
 45     headache, the squats, trembling
 46     headache, vomiting, trembling
 47     headache, nausea, trembling
 48     headache, the squats
 49     headache, vomiting
 50     headache, trembling
 51     headache, nausea
 52     headache
 53     vomiting, trembling
 54     nausea, trembling
 55     the squats, trembling
 56     vomiting
 57     nausea
 58     the squats
 59     trembling
 60     vomiting, the squats, trembling
 61     vomiting, the squats
 62     nausea, the squats, trembling
 63     nausea, the squats
 64     -4 to DEX and CON for 1d10 hrs
 65     -4 to WIS and INT for 1d10 hrs
 66     trembling, loss of appetite for 2d6 hrs
 67     loss of appetite for 5d4 hrs
 68     disgusting taste in mouth for 24 hrs
 69     cheerful energy
 70     DM SHOULD COME UP WITH A DASTARDLY EFFECT
 71     NO BAD EFFECTS (This time!)
 72-00  REROLL
NOTES ON HANGOVER TABLE

Blinding Headache: For 1d4+1 hours. -4 to hit, -3 to armor class, +25%
chance of spell failure for mages and clerics, -25% to all thieves
skills.

Headache: For 1d4+1 hours. -2 to hit, -1 to armor class, +10% chance of
spell failure for mages and clerics, -10% to all thieves skills.

Vomiting: Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d12 hours, 51-00: 1d6 hours).
Constitution check every turn. Failure means PC vomits which takes
1d4+1 rounds. Strenuous activity (includes combat and spellcasting)
will also require a constitution check to avoid being ill.

Nausea: Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d12 hours, 51-00: 1d6 hours). The
PC feels like vomiting. The PC has difficulty concentrating and
therefore has a +05% chance of spell failure for every hour of nausea.
Furthermore, he/she suffers a -1 to dexterity and strength for the
duration of nausea.

"The Squats": Roll percentile dice (01-50: 1d20 hours, 51-00: 1d10
hours). Constitution check at -2 every turn.  Failure means PC will
defecate within 1d4 rounds. The PC must find a suitable place and
remove armor, clothing, etc. within that time or soil themselves
(YECH!).

Trembling: For 1d4-1 hours. -1 to hit, -2 to dexterity.

Loss Of Appetite: Character will not eat. Also, character has dry mouth
thus being very thirsty.


Example

     For example, our hero Rath has found himself in a state of great
intoxication partying until four in the morning in his favorite
establishment, The Golden Griffon Inn. Unfortunately, he is suppose to
go adventuring at sunrise (6:00 AM), so he takes a strong stimulant in
hopes to recovery. Recovery time was 14 hours for Rath, but now it is
7.70 hours (14 x .55), and his stats go from the great intoxication
state to the moderate intoxication state. Well, Rath can't even move
out of bed until 1:00 PM. But since he got little sleep and feels quite
sick, Rath sleeps until 5:00 PM. When he awakens, he finds that he has
a headache (which will last 3 hours). Also, he starts vomiting (which
will last until at least 10:00 PM). He will suffer -2 to dexterity and
constitution for the next 4 hours. And to top it off, Rath finds out
that his adventuring party has left town without him and he is left
with nothing to do but go party again tonight.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


              STIMULANTS FOR RECOVERING FROM INTOXICATION


Mild

Cure Light Wounds - 1st level clerical spell
Slow Poison - 2nd level clerical spell
Potion of Healing
Scroll of Protection from Poison
Healing Proficiency
Herbalism Proficiency


Medium

Cure Disease - 3rd level clerical spell
Cure Serious Wounds - 4th level clerical spell
Potion of Sweet Water
Periapt of Proof Against Poison


Strong

Neutralize Poison - 4th level clerical spell
Cure Critical Wounds - 5th level clerical spell
Potion of Extra-Healing
Potion of Vitality

Special

Heal - 6th level clerical spell
Restoration - 7th level clerical spell
Regenerate - 7th level clerical spell
Elixir of Health


Notes

1. Special stimulants cure the intoxicated character, no recovery time
is required.

2. Multiple spells or potions (use the rule of mixing potions) applied
on intoxicated characters lower the stimulant multiplier by 5% per
dose (spell).

3. If more than one type of stimulant is used, the strongest one is
considered.

4. Healing and herbalism proficiencies can be used once a day, but if
both are used in the same character then treat as medium stimulant.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


          A MORE SINISTER SIDE OF DRINKING: ALCOHOL ADDICTION


                Wine has drowned more men than the sea.

                                                  --- Anon

   Nothing is better to fight alcoholism than a moderate use of wine.

                                                  --- Jean Louis Faure


     The nervous system in the body has an inhibitory effect when the
body is in a state of extreme emotion. It's part of the human body's
ability to stay in a normal state: "homeostasis". This is what makes
cliff-divers like cliff diving: the nervous system inhibits the
abnormal state of fear, essentially by simulating the reaction opposite
to fear: ecstasy. A classical example of this is a slightly depressed
person who takes stimulant drugs. His nervous system increases his
depression to counteract the abnormal stimulation, so that he needs to
take stimulants even to feel how people normally feel. Now, when he's
off drugs, he will be very depressed.
     This explains some withdrawal symptoms. Under the effect of any
strong drug (e.g. alcohol), the nervous system naturally tries to
counter that effect. When the drug wears off, the "downer" that is
experienced occurs because the nervous system is still producing that
opposite emotion. If a human uses drugs too much, then his/her nervous
system gets into the habit of countering that drug's effect, so he/she
starts to need to take the drug all the time to avoid the awful
downers. Eventually, drug addicts need more and more of their drug of
choice in order to have the effect they had the first time they tried
it.
     A person may enjoy having a drink of alcohol, but he/she may
unfortunately become a victim of it. To represent the progression and
regression of alcohol addiction; two levels, amount level and drinking
level are used.
     Each time a person drinks and goes into a state of intoxication
(slight, moderate, great), he/she must make a save vs. poison (with
modifiers; see below) or go up one amount level (Table 1).
     Each time a person reaches a state of great intoxication he/she
must make a save vs. poison (with modifiers; see below) or go up one
drinking level (Table 2).
     To make drinking even more dangerous, the DM can make a character
that has an 8 for an amount level and/or a 5 for drinking level roll on
the Hangover Table. The effects rolled will last until the levels are
lowered.


Table 1: Amount Level

Level     Effect
  0       never drinks
  1       needs to drink one time every week
  2       needs to drink two times every week
  3       needs to drink three times every week
  4       needs to drink four times every week
  5       needs to drink five times every week
  6       needs to drink six times every week
  7       needs to drink seven times every week
  8       needs to drink eight times every week


Table 2: Drinking Level

Level     Effect
  0       never drinks
  1       will always take at least one drink
  2       will drink until at least slightly intoxicated
  3       will drink until at least moderately intoxicated
  4       will drink until greatly intoxicated
  5       will drink until passed out


     Humans, elves, gnomes, and half-elves gain their normal bonus to
poison save due to Constitution (PHB, page 15). Dwarves and halflings
use the same bonuses that they get against magical attacks due to their
race (PHB, pages 20-23).
     Additional modifiers to the poison save for all races are based on
Wisdom (Table 3). Also, the DM may wish to add modifiers based on
circumstances and situations, some examples are given in Table 4.






Table 3: Wisdom Modifier

A. Score   Modifier
 01-03        +4
 04-06        +2
 07-12         0
 13-15        -2
 16-18        -4


Table 4: DM Modifiers

Mod.      Circumstance
+8        friend, family member, or comrade died
+5        lost beloved item (e.g. family heirloom, magical item)
+3        gambling debts, considerable misfortune
+1        unlucky times


     A person can reduce his/her or her addiction in a number of ways.
A Neutralize Poison spell will rid the need to drink, thus the amount
level becomes 0. For every week a person is restrained from drinking
(i.e. clinic, forceful friends, etc.), both the amount level and
drinking level are reduced by 1. Some DMs may allow the character to
make a Wisdom check once a week. Success indicates that the character
has enough willpower to lower his/her amount level and drink level by 1.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                           ALCOHOLIC DISEASES


     This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject
which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to
give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects.
In some cases, the disease can't convert into game effects, so role-
playing must substitute.

     There are many ways a DM may go about giving a character a
disease:

     - When a character's Amount Level is 8 and Drinking Level is 5, he
must make a save vs. poison or contract a disease.
     - When a character's Amount Level is 8 or Drinking Level is 5, he
must make a save vs. poison or contract a disease.
     - When a character becomes comatose due to alcohol use, he must
save vs. poison or contract a disease.


TABLE A: Diseases (1d12)

Roll Disease
 1   Acne Rosacea
 2   Alcohol Amblyopia
 3   Alcoholic Hepatitis
 4   Alcoholic Myopathy
 5   Alcoholic Polyneuropathy
 6   Central Pontine Myelinolysis
 7   Cirrhosis
 8   Delirium Tremens
 9   Marchiafava-Bignami Disease
10   Rhinophyma
11   Korsakoff's Psychosis
12   Wernicke's Encephalopathy


Acne Rosacea -  A facial skin condition usually characterized by a
flushed appearance and often accompanied by puffiness and a "spider-
web" effect of broken capillaries.

Alcohol Amblyopia - A rare disorder of the eye, alcohol ambloyopia is
typically due to long-term alcohol use. The disease begins slowly with
a slight vision impairment (-1 penalty to THAC0) that becomes
progressively worse (additional -1 per week until -4 is reached). The
typical complaint is a painless blurring of vision over a period of
several weeks (2d4) with reduced sharpness for both near and distant
objects. Generally, changes are symmetrical in both eyes and, if not
treated adequately, may be followed by optic nerve degeneration.
Treatment consists of vitamins and minerals or cure disease magics.

Alcoholic Hepatitis - A disease of the liver characterized by
inflammation and necrosis, alcoholic hepatitis is accompanied by
jaundice (which causes the character's skin to turn a reddish-yellow
color), fever, and abnormal accumulation of fluid in the abdominal
cavity.
     Alcoholic hyaline, a clear glassy substance, is often found in
livers of patients with alcoholic hepatitis.

Alcoholic Myopathy - Alcoholic Myopathy is an alcoholic muscle disease.
A character with this disease suffers from severe muscle cramps that
vary in frequency or by muscle pain and swelling. This results in a
lose of 1d4 to Strength and movement is two-thirds normal.

Alcoholic Polyneuropathy - A disease of the nervous system. It develops
slowly over months and years affecting first and most severely the
lower legs, where numbness and pain may develop. Other problems are
muscle wasting (-1d4 to Strength), tenderness of the calves of the
legs, and signs of impaired motor function (-1d4 to Dexterity).

Central Pontine Myelinolysis - A rare disease of unknown origin that
occurs in a group of brain nerve fibers known as the pons. The
principal symptoms are a progressive weakness in the muscles extending
from the lowest part of the brain to the spinal cord (a successful
called shot to the back causes triple damage), an inability to swallow,
and the absence of the gag reflex. After 2d4 weeks, the character
becomes drowsy (unable to adventure). After another 1d4 weeks, the
character becomes comatose.

Cirrhosis - From an ancient word kirrhos orange-colored - the color of
a cirrhosis liver. Cirrhosis is a chronic inflammatory disease of the
liver in which functioning liver cells are replaced by scar tissue. The
main cause of cirrhosis is long-term alcohol use.
     The onset of cirrhosis is associated with such nonspecific
complaints as weakness and fatigue. As the disease progresses, some of
the associated effects may include:
     - Jaundice which causes the character's skin to turn a reddish-
       yellow color.
     - Swelling of the character's legs.
     - Uncontrolled bleeding due to a decrease in clotting factors in
       the blood. If the character receives an open wound that cause
       bleeding, he/she will loses -1 hit points per round for 3d4
       rounds.
     - Increased sensitivity to drugs which results in a -1 modifier to
       any Constitution checks made for drug or alcohol use.




Delirium Tremens - The D.T.'s. One of the most dramatic and serious
conditions associated with alcoholism, delirium tremens' symptoms
include:
     - Vivid and frequently terrifying auditory, visual, and tactical
       hallucinations (25% per day of having one).
     - Profound confusion (-1d4 to intelligence).
     - Disorientation.
     - Severe agitation.
     - Restlessness and insomnia which can be bad for mages.
     - Fever.
     - Abnormally rapid heartbeat.

Marchiafava-Bignami Disease - The disease causes agitation, confusion
(-1d4 to intelligence), hallucinations (25% per day of having one),
memory disturbances, and disorientation.

Rhinophyma - A skin condition of the nose characterized by swelling,
redness and, often, broken capillaries. Rhinophyma is considered by
religious organizations as their deity's punishment to drunks.

Korsakoff's Psychosis - Korsakoff's psychosis is primarily a mental
disorder characterized by confusion, memory failure and a tendency to
recite imaginary occurrences. Other symptoms include disorientation in
time, emotional apathy and loss of insight, which prevents the
character from becoming aware of the disability. Characters are often
moderately cheerful and non-comprehending.

Wernicke's Encephalopathy - This disease is characterized by an acute
confusion state (-1d4 to Intelligence), loss of balance (-1d4 to
Dexterity, disorders of the eye nerves (extreme blinking), and high
risk of heart failure (10% chance of death to do heart failure).
     There is a cumulative +3% per day of Wernicke's encephalopathy
developing into Korsakoff's psychosis.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                   CRAZY DRUNK: A LOOK AT DIPSOMANIA


                  When the wine is in the wit is out.

                                                  --- Thomas Becon

     Presented here are two ways a DM can introduce Dipsomania into a
campaign. The first is an insanity which can be introduced via mind-
affecting magic or psionic powers. The second is a disease which can be
introduced via a spell or normal disease transmitting ways.

                          Dipsomania Insanity

     This mild insanity form manifests itself periodically. About once
per week, or whenever near large quantities of alcoholic beverages, the
afflicted will begin drinking excessive quantities of ale, beer, wine,
or like spirituous liquors. Such drinking will continue until the
character passes out. It is 50% likely that the dipsomania will
continue when he/she awakens if anywhere near alcohol, 10% likely
otherwise (in which case the individual will seek to find drink and
become violent if denied).





                           Dipsomaniac Virus

     Technically, this is not a monster, but rather a disease composed
of tiny organisms that require alcohol to maintain their bodily
functions. They will most likely be encountered by Player Characters in
infested sources of alcohol (seedy bars suddenly lose character). If
this alcohol is drunk, then the character is infected with the virus.
     As with many diseases, these microorganisms enter the body and
feed and reproduce there. However, unlike most diseases, these require
a high level of alcohol in the blood to survive. It is unlikely that
most characters will be quite as obliging in this regard as the disease
requires. So, the virus improvises; it begins to take over cells and
converts them into producers of alcohol, fermenting blood sugar in
order to keep the blood-alcohol level high.
     This has two negative effects upon the character: raising his
appetite by depleting his blood sugar level, and keeping him
perpetually intoxicated, whether he drinks or no. A simple cure disease
spell will end the condition; however, it is likely that no one will
suspect that a mere disease is the problem in the first place!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME


       Wine is the most healthful and hygienic of all beverages.

                                                  --- Louis Pasteur

           The blood of the vineyard shall mingle with mine.

                                                  --- Oliver W. Holmes

    His eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.

                                                  --- Genesis 49:12

                   In water one sees one's own face,
               but in wine beholds the heart of another.

                                                  --- Anon


     Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the
fetus. In some areas, the brain may never totally mature. In addition
to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of
"right or wrong". He/she has little sense of time, so that a potential
long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the
benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today
for a test next week. These symptoms can range anywhere from almost
unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small,
misshapen eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur.
     Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept.
Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they seem to be unable to have healthy
friendships. They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the
other troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc). They
can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if pressured, will drink,
steal, etc.. Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as
imminent. The awful thing is, it's not their fault!
     Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if
she doesn't know she's pregnant) and if she consumes even a small
amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The more
often she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible
effects. The player should roll 1d100 when the baby is born, with a
cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for
every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting)
during the pregnancy. If the result is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, then the
DM has two options in deciding on the results:

     1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the
     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during
     the pregnancy. Then consult Table 1.

     2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the
     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during
     the pregnancy. Then consult Table 2. Note that the character has
     all of the symptoms up to and including his/her die roll. That is,
     if the player rolls a 6 then the character has results 1, 2, 3, 4,
     5, and 6.


Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

Die
Roll    Effect
01-03   Intelligence is 4d4.
04-06   Intelligence is 3d4.
07-09   Intelligence is 2d4.
10-12   Intelligence is 1d4.
13-15   Wisdom is 4d4.
16-18   Wisdom is 3d4.
19-21   Wisdom is 2d4.
22-24   Wisdom is 1d4.
25-27   Strength is 4d4.
28-30   Strength is 3d4.
31-33   Strength is 2d4.
34-36   Strength is 1d4.
37-39   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 4d4.
40-42   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 3d4.
43-45   Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 2d4.
46-48   Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 1d4.
49-51   Weak. Constitution is 4d4.
52-54   Weak. Constitution is 3d4.
55-57   Very Weak. Constitution is 2d4.
58-60   Very Weak. Constitution is 1d4.
61-63   Learns at 1/4 speed.
64-66   Learns at 1/2 speed.
67-69   Learns at 3/4 speed.
70-72   Cannot have a lawful alignment.
73-75   Must have a chaotic alignment.
76-78   Must have a neutral alignment.
79-81   Unable to save money, destitute. Always gets rid of money.
82-84   Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.
85-87   Never able to cast spells.
88-90   2d20+8 % magic resistance. Roll ignoring any result above 87.
91-93   Two problems. Roll twice ignoring any result above 87.
94-96   Three problems. Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87.
97-99   Four problems. Roll four times ignoring any result above 87.
00-00   Five problems. Roll five times ignoring any result above 87.








Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

 1   Intelligence penalized -1d4.
 2   Wisdom penalized -1d4.
 3   Strength penalized -1d4.
 4   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma penalized -1d4.
 5   Weaker. Constitution penalized 1d4.
 6   Learns at 1/4 speed.
 7   Cannot have a lawful alignment.
 8   Must have a chaotic alignment.
 9   Must have a neutral alignment.
10   Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.
11   Never able to cast spells.
12   2d20+8 % magic resistance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
                       NON-WEAPON PROFICIENCIES


                   Back of this wine is the Vintner,
                 And back through the years, his skill;
              And back of it all are the vines in the sun,
                  And the rain and the Master's will.

                                                  --- Anon

                  You cannot know wine by the barrel.

                                                  --- Herbert Predentum

                The varieties of the wine and the names
                    of its grapes are beyond number.

                                                  --- Virgil


     All non-weapon proficiencies presented here are general. Thus all
classes make take a proficiency without any penalties. Of course, DMs
may want to limit them to a particular class.


                                 # of Slots     Relevant       Check
Proficiency                      Required       Ability        Modifier
Bartending                          2(3)        Special        Special
Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover       1           Intelligence      -4
Drinking (Boozing)                  1           Special        Special
Drinking Skills/Tricks              1           Dexterity      Special
Toasting                            1           Intelligence      -2
Wine Pouring                        1           Wisdom             0
Wine Tasting                        1           Wisdom             0


Bartending - A character with this proficiency has a great knowledge of
mixed drinks and can make a perfect mixed drink on a successful Wisdom
check. Note that the mixed drink must be known (i.e. ingredients,
preparation, etc.). The DM may require an Intelligence to see if the
character is familiar with the drink.
     Wine is the drink of the rich, but a small tavern having a large
supply of wine in stock isn't practical or economical. Thus, a
bartender has the skill to mix wines together to make an entirely
different wine. The bartender has the ability to mix wines to make them
look and/or taste a certain way. The maximum number of wines the
bartender can mix together is two with one more wine added for every
wisdom point over 12 (ex. a bartender with a 14 wisdom can mix a
maximum of 4 wines together). Whether it be a dreadful odor, an
unwholesome sticky taste, or a fantastic texture, the bartender can
attain this on a successful Wisdom check. If the bartender fails the
check while trying to do this, he/she gets the exact opposite result
(i.e. good tasting wine becomes bad tasting wine).
     Bartenders have the uncanny ability to raise morale. This ability
is another benefit bestowed from this proficiency. On a successful
Charisma check, the character can raise the morale of those he/she
serves by +2. DMs should make sure characters don't abuse this ability.
A character shouldn't be able to hand a beer to a soldier in a middle
of a battle in hopes to raise his morale. It is intended to be used in
a tavern setting. Also, DMs should require that the player role-plays
the situation. Just stating that the character wishes to raise morale
isn't enough.
     A lot of people go to taverns when depressed, and the bartender
has a tendency to raise their spirits. A bartender can bring a person
out of a non-magical depression on a successful Charisma check with a
positive modifier equal to the character's level. A bartender can bring
a person out of a magical depression on a successful Charisma check
with a modifier of -1 for very level under 8th.
     A lot of taverns, bars, and inns have a tendency to doctor drinks
to make them more potent or make them less potent than they should be.
Usually it is making drinks less potent which is the tendency, better
known as watering them down. Sometimes a bartender may wish to make
drinks more potent to cause certain patrons to get really inebriated.
Why would a bartender want to make a drink more potent? Well many
people, like thieves or adventurers, would like certain people in a
drunken state so their job (whatever it may be) can be easier and a few
coins to a bartender is a small price to pay to make sure a person is
drunk. The key to doctoring drinks is making the customer not notice a
change. A successful Wisdom roll indicates that nobody will notice a
change in the drink. Failure indicates that a customer may notice a
change. The customer must make a successful Intelligence check to
notice a change.
     A more seedier skill of this proficiency allows him to mix other
liquids together to make them taste like a wine. The bartender must
have knowledge of the wine's taste that he/she wishes to duplicate,
almost to perfection, and gets a -3 to his/her roll if he/she has the
wine with him/her. On a successful Wisdom check, the character creates
a fake of the original wine. This ability can be counteracted with a
successful Wine Tasting proficiency check.
     Another skill of this proficiency is the ability to make alcohol
drink additives (discussed elsewhere in the guide). A character needs
to make a Intelligence check with a -3 modifier. Failure indicates that
the additive is worthless and the process must start over (i.e. get new
ingredients, etc.).
     If the player devotes a third slot to this proficiency, the
character gains the skills of the Wine Pouring and the Wine Tasting
non-weapon proficiencies.


Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover

     A person with this proficiency has the uncanny knack for
concealing his/her unattractive alcoholic problems of drunkenness and
hangovers.
     The character must make a proficiency check after moving into a
new state of intoxication. A successful proficiency check indicates
that the character seems to be at the previous state of intoxication.
The character still suffers the penalties for the new state of
intoxication, but it will appear at face value that he/she is at the
previous state.

     For example, Rath (who is proficient in this), just went into a
state of slight intoxication. His stats are adjusted accordingly. He
makes his proficiency check. So it seems at face value that Rath is not
intoxicated, although he is slightly intoxication. Of course, if he
would need to use an ability like intelligence (intelligence attribute
check), then his -1 intelligence penalty will manifest itself.
     If a character has a hangover and makes a successful proficiency
check, he/she can suppress 1 or 2 (DM's option) of the hangover
effects.
     For example, Rath has a hangover. He rolls a 13 on the hangover
effects table. The effects are blinding headache, the squats, and
trembling. He suppresses "the squats" effect, but still suffers from a
blinding headache and trembling. If he only suffered from one effect
like vomiting, then he wouldn't have any hangover problems.
     NOTE: All checks are made at the current intelligence (i.e. with
modifiers from being intoxicated).
     Another benefit of this proficiency is the ability to hide the
fact that the character has an alcohol addiction problem. An
intelligence check is made when a character is not drunk or hungover.
If successful, the character disguises his/her alcohol addiction from
people. The character is so nonchalant that people don't realize that
he/she has a problem.


Drinking (Boozing)

     A person with this proficiency has a great love of alcohol. He/she
has the skill to consume more alcohol then most people without
suffering the ill effects as bad.
     Also, the character can tell the quality of any alcoholic drink by
taste. This knowledge goes deeper than just general quality knowledge.
He/she can know interesting facts about alcohol drinks if a successful
intelligence check is made. For example, he/she may know the year it
was made, what race created it, its value, specific ingredients, etc..
     When consuming a serving of alcohol, the character now gets a
bonus for his/her constitution checks. Thus, the penalties for
constitution checks are as followed:

     Beer      +5                  A 20 on the constitution check
     Ale       +4                  always fails.
     Wine      +3
     Mead      +2
     Liquor    +1

     When the character is in a state of great intoxication, he/she
doesn't receive a penalty when he/she saves vs. poison. With each
saving throw a character has a cumulative 2% instead of 5% of
permanently lowering his/her constitution by 1 point.
     Unfortunately, this proficiency has an evil side to it. The
character's alcohol addiction can never be at 0 for amount and drinking
levels. Furthermore, the character suffers a -1 penalty to poison saves
for alcohol addiction checks.


Drinking Skills/Tricks

     This proficiency bestows many benefits to the character although
they tend to have any enlightened value.
     "The Chug", "The Gulp", "The Neck" are all names for the ability
to consume a single serving of alcoholic beverage in a seconds. A
proficiency check (cumulative -1 penalty per serving) is required when
competing against another person. If both make the check, the person
with the highest score loses. If both fail the check, neither wins
because they either choke, spit up the booze, etc.. Of course, if one
fails the check and the other makes the check, then the winner is the
successful one.
     "Fire Breather" is the ability to spit alcohol, through a flame,
and hit a target. The spitter must have a flame source of at least
candle power and the target must be within 9 feet. The spitter must
make a successful proficiency check with a penalty based on range
between him and the target. Success indicates a hit and the target
suffers burn damage based on range. Failure indicates a miss unless a
20 is rolled. A 20 indicates that the flame back tracks into the
characters mouth and cause 1d6 points of burn damage.

Range     Damage (*)     Check Mod.
0' to 3'      2d6            -2
3' to 6'      1d6            -3
6' to 9'      1d4            -4

(*) save vs. Breath Weapon for half damage. Dexterity bonus apply.

     "The Big Belch" is the incredible and slightly disgusting ability
to produce long-lasting burps while drinking alcohol. A character can
burp continuously for 1d10+10 rounds after having only one serving of
any alcoholic beverage. If the character makes a successful proficiency
check, he/she gains an additional 1d10+10 rounds to the burp.
     "The Mouth Catcher" is the ability to throw a small object into
the air and catch it in his/her mouth. Typical small objects are a
nuts, popcorn, pretzels, etc.. The character can throw the object up to
5 feet into the air and catch it without requiring a check. A
proficiency check is required if the character tries for over 5 feet.
The check requires a modifier of -1 for every additional foot the
character wants. A failed check indicates that the small object misses
the character's mouth. Roll on the following table to see where the
object lands:

Roll Effect
  1  Lands in character's nose.
  2  Pokes character in left eye. Can't see through eye for 1d6 turns.
  3  Pokes character in right eye. Can't see through eye for 1d6 turns.
  4  Bounces off head and hits nearest person.
  5  Bounces off head and lands in character's drink.
  6  Bounces off head and lands in nearest drink other than
     character's drink.

DMs should modify effects that would not apply to a given situation.


Toasting

     The term "toast" comes from the fact that, in days of old, beer
was often consumed in front of the fireplace, where bread was being
toasted at the same time. To add nutrition and flavor (?) bits of the
toast would be thrown in the about-to-be-drunk beer and then a "toast"
would be made. In any case the custom of toasting one's drinking
companions goes back many centuries and only the skilled make toasts
that are remembered for centuries.
     Proficiency in toasting includes the skills of reciting above
average to excellent toasts and judging the quality of toasts. It also
indicates that the character has a repertoire of toasts memorized for
toasting at any time.
     A character may wish to create a new toast to be used later or
immediately. A successful proficiency check indicates that the toast is
of excellent quality. Failure indicates an above average toast, which
is still better than a toast of a commoner.
     After a successful proficiency check and toast, a character with
the Etiquette proficiency gains a -2 to all etiquette proficiency
checks in that situation. The excellent toast demonstrates that the
character is a person of high class, whether he is or not, and thus the
toastees are more relaxed and less cautious of the character's true
economical and social class.
     Here are two examples of toasts:

                   Drink to fair woman, who, I think,
                        Is most entitles to it;
                  For if anything drives men to drink,
                        She certainly can do it.

                 Here's to a long life and a merry one,
                       A quick death and easy one
                      A pretty girl and a true one
                     A cold beer - and another one.

     Players and/or DMs are encourages to read Toasts and Anecdotes by
Paul William Kearney (Clode pub. 1923, written in 1896) and Toasts, the
Complete Book of the Best Toasts, Sentiments, Blessings, Curses, and
Graces (Delacorte Press, c1981) for a great source of toasts to be used
in the campaign to take full advantage of this proficiency.
     Some clever people have made careers out of creating toasts for
less than imaginative kings and other nobles. Sitting around making up
toasts is quite a cushy job.


Wine Pouring

     With this proficiency the bearer can entertain any other person
with his flare in pouring wines. He can make even the dullest, worst
tasting wines look good to the common person. On a roll of 5 or below,
the pourer does his act with so much flare a few coins could be tossed
his way. If he fails, he spills the wine. On a roll of 16+ (unless 16+
is a succeed) he pours the wine over himself. On a roll of 20 he pours
the wine over himself and destroys any paper or object that can be
destroyed by liquid.


Wine Tasting

     Less powerful than the Drinking (Boozing) proficiency but also
less evil, this proficiency is for a more elite, upper class person.
This is the ability to appreciate and judge the quality of wines.
     On a successful roll, the character can identify the kind of wine
he is drinking and the quality: terrible, very poor, poor, normal,
good, very good, excellent. On a roll of 4 or less, the character can
name the year of the vintage, and recognize the vineyard.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                  NOT A TYPICAL ASSORTMENT OF WEAPONS


     A paradox exists to those who enjoy intoxicating beverages that
must attend places that serve intoxicating beverages: how can a person
enter combat when the person's combat weapons were checked at the door.
The solution would be to use a combat weapon that isn't considered a
weapon but rather a common item. Thus, this section provides
information for items that might not be considered weapons by most
people.
     Characters of any class who would become proficient in any of
these weapons would be indeed unique. A Fighter who swings a tankard
rather than a long sword would be a sight to see. One item mentioned
later is the Maltov Cocktail, a grenade filled alcohol that is lit and
then tossed at its target. A grenade weapon specialization and a few
cocktails would come in very handy against drunken adventurers and the
undead (hard to tell them apart).
     While on the subject of weapons, DM's should note that the
preferred weapon by tavern owners and employees who must keep the peace
is the crossbow which is usually kept behind the bar (cocked in the
more rowdier establishments).


                    Weight                 Speed      Damage
Item                (lb.)    Size   Type   Factor   S-M     L
Bottle, small         1       S      B       4      1d4+1  1d3
Bottle, large         2       S      B       4      1d6    1d3
Bottle, broken       1-2      S      P       2      1d4    1d3
Sling bullet, olive  1/4      S      B       -       -      -
Swizzle stick        1/4      S      P       2      1d3    1d2
Tankard               1       S      B       4      1d6    1d3

Casket, small        4 gal    L      B      10      1d6    1d4
Keg                  5 gal    L      B      10      1d6+1  1d4+1
Casket medium        6 gal    L      B      10      1d8    1d6
Casket, large        8 gal    L      B      10      1d10   1d8
Barrel, small       16 gal    L      B      12      2d8+2  1d6+2
Barrel, medium      24 gal    L      B      12      3d6+2  3d4+2
Barrel, large       32 gal    L      B      12      5d6+4  5d4+4

Table                30     (V)L     B      15      4d6    3d6


Bottle, small: The bottle can hold .5 gallon of liquid but the purpose
is not to be a container.

Bottle, large: The bottle can hold 1 gallon of liquid but the purpose
is not to be a container.

Bottle, broken: Whether large or small, this bottle works the same as a
piercing weapon. A person with a normal bottle can make a broken quite
easy by breaking it (of course the bottle must fail a saving throw).

Sling bullet, olive: The olive does no damage when used, but a
successful called shot (-4 attack modifier) to a target's eye will
temporarily blind him/her. Thereafter, the victim gets +4 to hit.

Swizzle stick: A swizzle stick is six inches in length and thin. It is
mainly used to stir drinks but in the hands of a clever person, can be
used as am effective weapon.

Tankard: A tankard is a large drinking cup usually with a handle and a
hinged cover. Many people who wield a tankard as a weapon like to have
a finely crafted tankard with magnificent artwork on it. Of course, a
good, old, solid tankard would work just as easily.

Containers: The various containers (Casket, small; Keg; Casket medium;
Casket, large; Barrel, small; Barrel, medium; Barrel, large) that
contain alcohol can make very effective missile type boulder weapons.
The stats given for the containers assume that the container is at
least half-full of liquid at the time of tossing. Strength bonuses
apply. DMs must make sure that the character is capable of lifting the
container and if so, be able to toss it to the required distance.

Table: This table is any large, wooden round thing that has 4 wooden
"legs" and a smooth surface. It is wielded by picking it up over your
head and throwing it in any certain direction. Hence the weight, it is
very hard to pick up. If it is thrown at a person with 19 strength and
over, that person smashed the table to bits before it hit (unless
surprised or didn't know the table was coming). Any sharp object is
stuck in the surface and any blunt object bounces off. After taking
about 2d6 points of damage in the same general spot it will smash into
bits in the next throw.


                     The Use of Alcohol as a Weapon

     The use of high-proof spirits can be a really effect weapon;
especially in a room illuminated by torches and candles. SPLASH! FOOM!
AAUUUGH! HA, HA, HA!.
     Put simply, flaming alcohol burns for two rounds, causing 2d6
points of damage in the first round and 1d6 points in the second round.
     Any container filled with alcohol can be used as a grenade-like
weapon. When created for the purpose of using it as a weapon, it is
referred to as a Maltov Cocktail.
     Lit alcohol used in a grenade-like missile can be considered the
same as lit oil. Of course, the alcohol must have a high alcohol
content to be flammable. For more information on grenade-like weapons
can be found on page 100 of the Player's Handbook and page 62 of the
Dungeon Master's Guide. If the player wishes to create a Maltov
Cocktail, the grenade-like stats for such a weapon are:

Type of Missile: Alcohol (Lit)
Type Amount: 16 oz.
Area of Effect: 3' diameter
Damage from Direct Hit: 2d6/1d6 hp
Splash Damage: 1d6/2 hp

     Alcohol causes damage only when it is lit. Thus, the character
must light the grenade (which must have some type of "fuse", i.e. cloth
sticking out, etc.). The lighting of the flask will result in a +4 to
the initiative (this is in addition to the +2 speed factor and any
range modifiers). This also assumes that the character has an available
source of fire close at hand.
     Most characters will light a cloth that is wrapped around the
grenade so that the alcohol will not light prematurely, but allow the
alcohol to burst into flame when the container is broken. Of course,
those that desire an open connection to the alcohol may do so. In this
case, vindictive DMs may have a percent chance equal to the character's
initiative multiplied by 5 that the fire will get into the alcohol
causing the character to drop it which would cause damage to him, for
example.  Another option of a character is that a character could make
two separate attacks: the first to throw the alcohol on thew target,
the second to throw fire on the target to light the alcohol. This is a
much safer way, but harder way. In any case, most proficient characters
opt to wrap a cloth around the grenade and light it before throwing it
because this is the safest way.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------













                       GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BOOZE


               The cheapness of wine seems to be a cause,
                  not of drunkenness, but of sobriety.

                                                  --- Adam Smith

      I rather like the bad wine, one gets so bored with the good.

                                                  --- Mr. Mountchesney

               The best wine comes out of an old vessel.

                                                  --- Robert Burton

               So shall thy barns be filled with plenty,
             and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

                                                  --- Proverbs 3:10


     There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he purchases,
finds, is offered, loots, or steals some form of alcoholic beverage.
Unfortunately, the description is boring and makes the substance as
common as water. In actuality, alcohol comes in many forms from many
places and is made by many people. To illustrate this diversity, the DM
can follow the below steps to give his alcohol a kick. The DM does not
have to obey the rolls. He may change what information he once, how he
wants. The steps and charts are only guidelines to assist a DM in
flavoring a campaign with a belt of some juice.

STEPS

1.   Roll on table 1 to decide the type of alcohol.

2.   Roll on the appropriate Made-By Table to decide who made the
beverage. If HUMANOID is rolled then roll on table 2F to decide what
creature did make it. If SPECIAL is rolled the DM must choose;
preferably an intriguing, exciting, and unique race.

3.   If the alcohol is beer, then roll on table 3 to decide what type
of beer it is.
     If the alcohol is wine, then roll on table 4 to decide what type
of wine. For light wine, roll on table 4A, 4B, and 4C to decide what
the color, taste, and flavor of the wine is. No sub-tables are provided
for fortified, sparkling, and aromatized wines. Most specifics on these
types of wines are named after real-world geographical locations and
would take away from the fantasy world. For example, Sparkling wines
could be broken down to Champagne, Astispumante, Burgundy, Moselle,
Saumur, and Catawba (to name a few). But these are named for geographic
locations on Earth. If DMs wish to have drinks like these in their
campaign, they should name it after a place and then give a description
of the drink to the players using the real world counterpart.
     If the alcohol is liquor, then roll on table 5 to decide what type
of liquor it is. If the liquor is brandy, roll on table 5C to decide
what type of brandy it is. If the liquor is whiskey, flip a coin to
decide if the whiskey is straight or blended. If the liquor is
coridial, the DM should decide what flavored this spirit because the
options are limitless.



4.   Roll on table 6 to decide the quality of the beverage. Price is
fixed to quality. Suggested prices aren't given because they will vary
in different societies and civilizations. Thus, the DM should decide
the price for a normal drink. A multiplier is given due to quality to
adjusted the price of equal worth. By doing so, it would be easy to
figure the price for almost any size of container. For example, if a
gallon of normal wine sells for 20 silver pieces; then a gallon of
excellent wine would sell for 2000 silver pieces (20 SP * 100). Thus,
any size container can be determined for a particular alcoholic drink.
One could also figure out what a small bottle (.5 gal.), or flask, of
alcohol would cost from any size. If a large casket of wine cost 1000
silver pieces; then a small bottle of the same wine would cost 62.50
silver pieces, a large bottle would be 125 silver pieces, etc..

5.   If a human made the alcohol, roll on table 7 to decide where the
it came from. If a race other than human made the alcohol, roll on
table 8 to decide where it came from. NOTE: These tables must be
created by the DM to suit his/her particular campaign world. The race
tables in the World of Greyhawk books work very nicely for that world.

7.   Table 9 is optional in deciding the container size. It is
recommended that you decide what the size is because size is depend on
the environment. For example, if an adventurer walks into a bar,
chances are there are no tuns of wine for sale but a large bottle is
readily available.


TABLE 1: Type Of Alcohol

01-20     Beer
21-40     Ale
41-60     Mead
61-80     Wine
81-00     Liquor


                             MADE-BY TABLES


TABLE 2A: Beer Made By

01-40     Human
41-65     Dwarf
66-75     Humanoid
76-85     Halfling
86-95     Gnome
96-99     Elf
 00       Special


TABLE 2B: Ale Made By

01-40     Dwarf
41-65     Gnome
66-75     Halfling
76-85     Human
86-95     Elf
96-99     Humanoid
 00       Special





TABLE 2C: Mead Made By

01-40     Elf
41-65     Human
66-75     Halfling
76-85     Gnome
86-95     Dwarf
96-99     Humanoid
 00       Special


TABLE 2D: Wine Made By

01-40     Elf
41-65     Human
66-75     Halfling
76-85     Gnome
86-95     Dwarf
96-99     Humanoid
 00       Special


TABLE 2E: Liquor Made By

01-40     Humanoid
41-65     Human
66-75     Dwarf
76-85     Gnome
86-95     Halfling
96-99     Elf
 00       Special


SUB-TABLE 2F: Humanoid

01-10     Bugbear
11-20     Gnoll
21-30     Goblin
31-40     Giant
41-50     Half-orc
51-60     Hobgoblin
61-70     Lizard Man
71-80     Ogre
81-90     Orc
91-00     Troll


                            SPECIFIC TABLES


TABLE 3: Type of Beer

ROLL      TYPE           DESCRIPTION
01-20     Lager          pale, medium-hop-flavored beer
21-40     Bock           heavy, rich, dark-brown beer
41-60     Stout          very dark beer
61-80     Porter         mixture of ale and beer
81-00     Malt Liquor    fruity, spicy, highly-alcoholic beer






TABLE 4: Type of Wine

01-39     Light
40-59     Fortified
60-79     Sparkling
80-00     Aromatized


TABLE 4A: Color of Wine

01-33     Red
34-67     White
68-00     Rose


TABLE 4B: Taste of Wine

01-40     Sweet
41-75     Medium
76-00     Dry


TABLE 4C: Flavor of Wine

01-03     Apple
04-06     Apricot
07-09     Ashberry
10-12     Banana
13-15     Blackberry
16-18     Blueberry
19-21     Cantaloupe
22-24     Cherry
25-27     Cranberry
28-30     Dandelion
31-33     Date
34-36     Elderberry
37-39     Elfberry
40-42     Fig
43-45     Grape, blue
46-48     Grape, green
49-51     Grape, red
52-54     Grape, purple
55-57     Grape, white
58-60     Potato
61-63     Peach
64-66     Pear
67-69     Plum
70-72     Prune
73-75     Raspberry
76-78     Strawberry
79-81     Watermelon
82-84     Wildberry
85-00     choose (preferably a grape type)


TABLE 5: Type of Liquor

01-20     Brandy
21-40     Whiskey
41-60     Rum
61-80     Gin
81-00     Cordial (Liqueur)


TABLE 5A: Type of Brandy

01-19     Cognac
20-29     Armagnac
30-39     Apple Jack
40-49     Kirsch (Cherry)
50-59     Mirabelle (Plum)
60-69     Slivovitz
70-74     Absinthe
75-79     Benedictine
80-00     ROLL ON TABLE 4C for the flavor of the brandy


TABLE 6: Quality

ROLL      TYPE           PRICE MULTIPLIER
01-05     Terrible              .01
06-15     Very Poor              .1
16-35     Poor                   .5
36-65     Normal                  1
66-85     Good                   10
86-95     Very Good              50
96-00     Excellent             100


TABLE 9: Size of Container

Bottle, small             .5 gallon
Bottle, large              1 gallon
Jug, small                 2 gallons
Jug, large                 3 gallons
Casket, small              4 gallons
Keg                        5 gallons
Casket medium              6 gallons
Casket, large              8 gallons
Barrel, small             16 gallons
Barrel, medium            24 gallons
Barrel, large             32 gallons
Tun                      250 gallons

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                      SPELLS WITH A TWIST OF LIME


               Brave men and good wine last a short time!

                                                  --- Anon

------------------------------------

                                 Mages

Cantrip
Ferment Grape
Know Vintage
Know Quality

Level 1
Alter Taste
Analyze Drink
Cure Hangover
Intoxicate
Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar
Simple Distillation

Level 2
Bucca's Noxious Exhalation
Continual Drunkenness
Create Alcohol
Sidney's Excellent Alcohol
Sidney's Flash Fermentation

Level 3
Gorann's Rapid Intoxication
Leomund's Tiny Tavern
Mask Inebriation
Niiraloth's Random Sobriety

Level 4
Become Phantasmal Lover
Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler

Level 5
Cloud of Intoxication
Malar's Alcohol Detonation
Transmute Matter To Alcohol

Level 9
Cloud of Great Intoxication
FAE


                                Clerics


Level 1
Speak with the Intoxicated

Level 2
Create Alcohol (see mage spell)
Cure Drunkenness
Lower Alcohol Addiction
Resist Intoxication
Speed Fermentation


Level 4
Protection from Intoxication

Level 6
Transmute Water to Wine
Zone of Tolerance

------------------------------------



                                 Mages



Ferment Grape (Evocation)

Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2 segment
Area of Effect: 1 grape
Saving Throw: None

     By use of this spell an apprentice can convert the contents of a
grape into fermented wine. It will not change the skin of the grape so
it will keep its shape.  Used by apprentices tired of the same old food
from a teacher who do not approve of alcohol. Could also be good in an
emergency for use against alcohol sensitive monsters.


Know Vintage (Divination)

Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2 segment
Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less
Saving Throw: None

     By use of this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what
vintage (year) of one bottle of wine/champagne. It is also possible to
tell, with a 10% chance of failure, the vineyard or winery where the
wine came from. This spell is very useful for those who are not sure
about a particular bottle of wine. A small drop of wine from the bottle
is necessary to cast the spell.


Know Quality (Divination)

Level: Cantrip
Type: Useful
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2 segment
Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less
Saving Throw: None

     By casting this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what
quality of wine/champagne he/she is drinking. This spell will let the
caster know by quickly flashing a color, on the surface of the drink,
corresponding to the level of quality. It will also warn of possible
poison or spoilage. The color black means pour or bad quality. The
color blue means god or average quality. A light blue means very good
and white means excellent. If the flash is black and red, look for
possible poisons. This spell was developed by apprentices who were
tired of getting pour quality wines with dinner. They also didn't
want to keep being ripped off in pubs.


Alter Taste (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 turn / level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 pint / level
Saving Throw: None

     This spell allows the mage to give an alcoholic flavor (taste) to
any liquid. It does not turn the liquid to alcohol. It merely gives it
the taste of beer, ale, wine, mead, or liquor. Also, it only changes
the flavor and not its appearance.
     Now a mage can buy a glass of water (cheap), cast this spell, and
enjoy an alcohol flavored drink without suffering the negative effects
of swigging the real thing. A mage could also improve the flavor of a
drink. For example, cheap beer can now taste like elegant wine, but the
alcohol level is that of beer. A bad-tasting potion can now taste quite
nice as well.
     The flavor (cider, ale, wine, etc.) is chosen by the caster.
However, there is always a 100 - 10 per level percent chance of the
spell screwing up. In this case the DM chooses the taste.
     Note that since the component is only somatic the spell can be
cast easily unnoticed.
     The reverse of this spell allows the caster to remove the
alcoholic flavor of a drink, but without removing the alcohol itself.
It can also be used to restore it's normal taste to a previously
altered drink.


Analyze Drink (Divination)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: 1 drink
Saving Throw: None

     This spell requires the caster to sip a drink of any sort. The
spell will then analyze all the components of the drink and make them
known to the caster.
     The various liquids which make up the drink are revealed
specifically, as well as the proportions in which they are extant.
Specific brews, vintages, or brands (if applicable) are known exactly,
and any dilution of the drink with water is also revealed.
     Since the casting requires actually tasting the drink, it is not
really useful in safely identifying poisons (although the caster will
instantly know what kind of poison that just hit him!).


Cure Hangover (Abjuration) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell enables the wizard to relieve a person of intoxication.
Once cast a person does not need to recover from intoxication or suffer
the effects of recovery. Note: It may be difficult for wizards to cast
this cantrip upon himself if intoxicated given the chance for spell
failure.
     The reverse of this spell is Cause Hangover. The mage must make a
successful attack roll to touch a person in combat. If successful, the
victim gets a hangover. Roll on Table 1, Hangover Effects Table, to get
the effects of the hangover.


Intoxicate (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: 100 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Neg.

     This spell allows the mage to increase a person's intoxication
state by one. Thus, a sober person would become slightly intoxicated, a
moderately intoxicated person would become greatly intoxicated, and so
on.
     The reverse of this spell will decrease a person's intoxication
state by one.
     The material component is a pint of pure alcohol.


Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar (or Tavern Locator) (Divination)

Level: 1
Range: 1 mile per level
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: None

     This spell is used by a mage who is looking for a good place to
have a blast and get blasted. The spell seeks out all establishments
within range and instantly gives the caster a mental impression of the
best place, with regards to its location, name, general appearance, and
taste of the mage. The spell determines which is the "best" location by
considering the following factors, in descending order of importance:
strength and quality of drinks served, wildness factor, size of bar,
and inexpensiveness. If there is no such location (at all) within spell
range, the caster must save vs. death magic or fall into a 1d4 round
coma, and emerges from it weeping but unharmed.



Simple Distillation (Alteration)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 5 gallons per level
Saving Throw: None

     No material components. No somatic gestures. Just a complicated
guttural verbal component. Many mages have tried to reduce this spell
a cantrip. However, it doesn't seem to be possible to reduce the verbal
component enough to do this. Perhaps adding a small somatic gesture?
     Each casting halves the volume and effectively doubles the percent
alcohol in the liquid it is cast upon. The catch is that the water goes
first.  Thus, if beer containing 10% alcohol is placed in the pot, then
it will loose half its volume, but will now contain 20% alcohol. When
all the water is gone, some other liquid (juice, etc.) has to go next,
DM's choice.
     Effects are similar to Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery. In
fact, this is the spell Darkblood used in creating his distillery.
     This spell has no effect on any living being... except perhaps
water elementals. This is up to the DM. For example, the water
elemental must save vs. spell or lose half remaining hit points when
struck by this spell. Save indicates half damage or loss of fourth of
the remaining hit points. This is visibly a very powerful spell vs.
water elementals, but how many times does one see water elementals?  If
this is a problem than simply rule it doesn't effect water elemental
either, or lower the damage it causes.


Bucca's Noxious Exhalation (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 25'
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn / level
Casting Time: 4
Area of Effect: Cloud 10' radius
Saving Throw: Special

     As a mage who enjoyed fermenting his own brews, Bucca was totally
unaware of the odor of his own creations. Sam, as he was known to his
friends, grew tired of complaints from his friends about the rank smell
of his breath after taste testing his own brews. He designed this spell
(popularly known as Bucca's Beery Breath) to make use of his foul
exhalations, in the hope that his friends would stop complaining.
     In the casting of this spell, the mage must consume at least 100
milliliters of an alcoholic beverage, the potency of which determines
the efficiency of the spell (see below).
     In addition to drinking the alcohol, the caster leans forward and
belches loudly and from his mouth issues a stream of putrid breath,
which expands to fill a cloud of 10' radius. all within the cloud must
make a saving throw vs. breath weapons or suffer 2d4 points of damage
(1d4 if saved) and the special effects listed below (or none if the
save is made). The cloud swiftly dissipates, and is gone within four
segments of its creation. All effects of the spell including
drunkenness pass within 1 hour.





Potency                          Saving
Level     Type                   Throw    Special Effects
  1       diluted beers, etc.      +5     stinging eyes, coughing
  2       ales, white wines        +1     retching
  3       red wines, cocktails      0     disorientation, 1-3 rounds
  4       spirits                  -1     slight drunkenness
  5       liquors                  -2     Sickness, mild drunkenness
  6       magical brews            -4     Sever drunkenness -> comatose

     Stinging eyes, coughing has little effect beyond -3 to missile
fire. Retching means that any characters affected are delayed in
attacking for 1-6 segments. Disorientation indicates the onset of
drunkenness, if the character is left alone at the end of the period of
drunkenness he will resume previous activities, if attacked, the
character may respond in kind, with -1 to attack rolls. Slight
drunkenness means that the character is confused, no dextrous
activities allowed, and -2 to attack rolls. Sickness and mild
drunkenness indicates that the character will not want to eat or drink
for 1d12 hours, -2 to attack rolls, and -1 damage. Severe drunkenness
denotes that the character is totally befuddled, -5 attack rolls, -3
damage, and he can barely walk in a straight line.
     Note that the effects of drunkenness are different then those in
the Alcohol Guide rules. Because the effects are caused by magic, the
effects are based on the Bucca's interpretation of alcohol and what he
wants the spell to accomplish.

Continual Drunkenness (Alteration, Enchantment)

Level: 1
Range: 1"
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Indefinite
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Special

     This spell can be directed at any creature who looks the caster in
the eyes; only one being can be affected per casting of the spell. The
caster's eyes look watery and swirly at the completion of the casting,
at which time the gaze can be used. The creature gets a saving throw
vs. poison at -3 to escape the effects, and in that case the spell is
not dissipated, rather, it remains active until one creature is
affected. A creature failing its saving throw is made mystically drunk,
and will remain so indefinitely; an analysis of the being's aura or any
magic designed to detect charms will reveal the spell's existence.
    The clerical spell cure drunkenness will negate it for as many
turns as the casting cleric has levels, but after this time, the effect
will return. The creature's level of inebriation is determined by the
caster's level:

     Level of Caster          Degree of Drunkenness
     3rd - 5th                Slight
     6th - 9th                Moderate
     10th and up              Great

     A mirror or gaze reflection spell may be able to make the spell
backfire on the caster; in this case, the degree of mystical
drunkenness will be one less than normal. For example, if the 10th
level wizard Farsharn has the spell reflected upon himself by Rath's
nimble application of a mirror, then Farsharn will not be "Great"ly
drunk, but only "Moderate"ly so. If this would reduce it below Slight,
then do not reduce it; it will always have at least Slight effects. To
rid oneself of these effects, a successful dispel magic or remove curse
will be effective.
     The material component of this spell is a serving of liquor that
is consumed by the mage during casting.


Create Alcohol (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 turn / level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 pint / level
Saving Throw: None

     This spell alters the taste AND creates alcohol content into any
liquid. Like the Alter Self, the caster chooses the taste of the
alcohol to be created. With this spell, the mage also chooses the
alcohol content of the liquid (equal to beer, ale, wine, mead, or
liquor). There is always a 100 - 10 per level percent chance of the
spell screwing up. In this case the DM chooses the taste.
     Since alcohol really creates the appearance of drinks, at least
partially, then the appearance of the transformed liquid will appear
somewhat the same. Changing beer to wine looks more like wine, but it
may still be a little bit frothy.
     The reverse of this spell removes or lower the quantity of alcohol
and its taste in the drink.


Sidney's Excellent Alcohol (Conjuration)

Level: 2
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn / level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: .5 pint / level
Saving Throw: None

     This spell allows the caster to magically summon alcohol of any
sort, within the caster's tasting experience (i.e. the caster must have
sampled the alcohol beverage previously in his life). The tankard or
whatever container is used becomes full of the desired beverage.
     One material component of the spell is the container (obviously)
of no less than 100 silver pieces in price which is not consumed. The
other material component is pinch of hops or a few grapes.
     Sidney's was a particularly alcoholic mage who unfortunately could
no longer cast the spell because of the verbal components that were
impossible to speak in his constant drunken state.


Sidney's Flash Fermentation (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 15 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: .5 pint / level
Saving Throw: None

     This spell is a simple spell which speeds up the normal
fermentation times for alcohol manufacture. The mage can speed up
fermentation a maximum of 3 years per level of the caster, thus to
instantly have a truly fine aged wine the mage must be of fairly high
level. If the mage knows how long fermentation normally takes (through
research or just being an alcoholic), he can cast this spell with
automatic success, the alcohol is ready to be consumed. If the mage
doesn't know how long it should ferment, then it is guesswork. The DM
then decides whether the brew is underdone or overdone (e.g. juice or
vinegar).
     Material component is a sprinkle of hops.
     This spell was originally researched by an alcoholic mage who was
sick of having to wait the years needed to produce a fine wine. A more
powerful version of the spell is currently being researched in order to
make wines of the magnitude of thousands of years fermentation, but
Sidney is having trouble with some of the material components (a wine
mug and pitcher from the Halls of Valhalla).


Gorann's Rapid Intoxication (Alteration)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Negates

     This spell causes one creature touched during the spell's casting
to instantly fail Constitution checks for intoxication during the next
12 hours. A creature in this state will become rapidly drunk no matter
what strength of alcohol they are drinking. The victim is generally not
aware of the spell's existence on their person, and may be puzzled by
their lack of tolerance.
     The somatic component is a friendly pat on the back, and the
verbal component is a cheery "Drink up!"


Leomund's Tiny Tavern (Alteration)

Level: 3
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: 20-foot-diameter sphere
Saving Throw: None

     A spell similar to Leomund's Tiny Hut, this spell was probably not
made by Leomund. Speculation gives credit to one of Leomund's
apprentices. In any case, this is a weaker spell with extra niceties.
Another strange relative to this spell is its sister spell Leomund's
Tiny Brothel (definitely not from Leomund, thus adding evidence to the
originals of these copies).
     When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque,
sound-proof, sphere of force of any desired color around his person.
Up to 6 other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its
creator, and these can freely pass into and out of the tavern without
harming it, but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell
dissipate. The temperature inside the tavern is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit,
if the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior
temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the
interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny tavern
also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust,
sandstorms, and the like. The tavern can withstand any wind of less
than hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than
that destroys it.
     The interior of the tavern is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can
illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired.
A sturdy wooden table and seven chairs sits in the center of the
tavern. On the table sits three bowls. One contains pretzels, one
contains potato chips, and one contains peanuts. The bowls magically
fill themselves of the snacks. Along side the table is a chest filled
with a never ending supply of ice and bottles of alcohol. The type of
alcohol is dependent of the mage's wishes. Each bottle may contain a
different type of alcohol but no alcohol may be better than normal in
quality. An illusion of a lovely, big-breasted, blonde wench will
mingle around the tavern and serve the occupants needs.
     Note that although the force field is opaque from the outside, it
is transparent from within. Missiles, weapons, and most spell effects
can pass through the tavern without affecting it, although the
occupants cannot be seen from outside the tavern. The tavern can be
dispelled.
     The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that
shatters when the spell duration expires or the tavern is dispelled,
a glass bottle, and an oak stick (at least one foot long).


Mask Inebriation (Illusion) Reversible

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 3d6 turns
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Special

     This spell creates a shell of illusion focused upon one drunken
(but conscious) creature. Its purpose is to cause all observers to look
upon the affected creature as entirely sober. It insidiously affects
their perceptions so that they will interpret the person's actions and
statements as those of a rational, sober individual. Any slurring of
the speech, inconsistencies in statements, wobbling, or weaving will be
overlooked or ascribed to some other factor. True seeing or other means
of bypassing illusions are effective in countering this spell.
     The reverse, Unbelievable Sobriety, will convince observers that a
sober creature is hopelessly drunk, and works on their perceptions in
similar (but opposite) ways. In all other respects it is as the former
application.


Niiraloth's Random Sobriety (Alteration, Wild Magic)

Level: 3
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1d4 x 100 rounds
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: The caster
Saving Throw: None

     This spell is unusual even for a wild magic dweomer, and is cast
by taking a huge swig of liquor after saying the magic words. It causes
a strange type of drunkenness to overwhelm the caster. The mage's state
of intoxication is randomly determined every round, as per the table
below:




          d100 Roll      Intoxication Level
          01-25          Sober (normal)
          26-50          Slight (2 x effects)
          51-75          Moderate (3 x effects)
          76-95          Great (4 x effects)
          96-00          Incoherent (casting impossible)

     Note that the % chance of spell failure inherent to these states
of drunkenness is changed by the spell's magic to mean "% chance of
Wild Surge" instead. Spells which surge because of the random sobriety
will have enhanced effects as noted above. A mage who is Sober will act
and cast normally that round. A mage in Slight intoxication will have a
25% chance of surging any spell, but suffers all other side effects of
drunkenness. Moderate intoxication means a 50% chance of surging, with
other side effects retained. Great intoxication will cause all spells
cast to surge (rather than making casting impossible), but has severe
side effects otherwise. Incoherent means that the mage is in danger of
passing out--if this is rolled twice in a row, then the mage will fall
unconscious for 1d4 rounds.
     A side benefit of this spell is that the mage has a % chance equal
to the chance of surging to be able to escape (usually by stumbling,
otherwise by colorful chaos-interference) any negative side effects of
their wild surges during that round. Also, Nahal's Reckless Dweomer has
triple chance to cast the desired spell normally during this spell's
effect.


Become Phantasmal Lover (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 4
Range: 5 yards /level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Until the next morning
Casting Time: As long as it takes (see below)
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: Special

     When this spell is cast, the wizard causes his features to shift
in the mind of his victim to conform to those of an individual that the
victim considers to the ultimate lover.  Once the spell is successfully
cast (and the save varies according to the amount of preparation in
casting the spell), the recipient will be putty in the hands of the
caster, not out of enchantment but only out of the recipient's own
sense of wish-fulfillment.
     This spell takes as much time to cast as it takes to get the
recipient drunk. The more thoroughly tanked the recipient gets, the
worse will be the save:

          had a serving of alcohol          -1
          Slightly intoxicated              -2
          Moderately intoxicated            -4
          Greatly intoxicated               -8

     The material component of this spell is large quantities of
alcohol, which must be passed through the gullet of the recipient.









Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler (Enchantment)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 humanoid via an alcoholic drink
Saving Throw: None

     This enchantment is unusual because it is not cast directly at it
victim, but is cast upon a medium of transferral. The spell can only be
cast upon a prepared alcoholic drink (the mixing or pouring of which is
the somatic component), not on an entire flask, bottle or keg of
alcohol. The spell recipient is defined as one who offers the enspelled
drink to another person. The recipient does not necessarily need to
know of the drink's enchanted status, but to benefit from the
enchantment, must offer it verbally to another creature, who is the
target of the spell. If the target accepts the drink and imbibes even a
sip, the spell is activated and the target is instantly affected. The
victim receives no saving throw if they accept the drink, and forcing a
being to drink will negate the magic.
     A person affected by the spell is then subject to a specialized
charm, which persuades them to willingly and enthusiastically submit to
the recipient's romantic and/or sexual overtures. The charm lasts for
exactly 24 hours, after which time the victim is free to react normally
to the recipient, and will believe that any actions made while the
charm was in effect were made freely. The victim must be of a sexual
orientation which is compatible with the spell recipient.


Cloud of Intoxication (Evocation/Alteration)

Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, M, S
Duration: 1 round / level
Casting Time: 5 Segments
Area of Effect: 16 foot-cube
Saving Throw: None

     This spell is similar to the spell Cloudkill of the same level.
This spell will create a large rose and white flowing and churning
cloud. The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round,
rolling along the ground in the original direction dictated by the
caster. A wind might change the direction of the cloud.  A strong wind
will disperse the cloud in two or three rounds. A very strong wind will
disperse the cloud immediately. Heavy vegetation will slow the cloud to
one half speed and cause it to disperse after two rounds.
     All creatures enveloped by the cloud must be compared to their hit
dice or class level to see the effect the cloud has on the creature or
character. A creature with 3+1 hit dice will immediately become Greatly
intoxicated. All creatures from 4+1 to 6+1 hit dice will become
Moderately intoxicated and all creatures of 7+1 and greater hit dice
will become Slightly intoxicated. Any creature over 11+1 hit dice or
higher must save vs. poison, with no penalty to avoid becoming Slightly
intoxicated. Each round spent in the cloud increases the chance of high
and medium hit dice creatures to become more intoxicated and Greatly
intoxicated creatures to become comatose. For each round spent in the
cloud a creature must save vs. poison or reach the next higher level of
intoxication. For each round spent in the cloud beyond four any
creature or character must save at a cumulative -1 per round. There are
no racial or weight modifiers for to this spell. Please see the section
on intoxication to see the effects of intoxication and it is
recommended that DM's use the Optional Drunk Disposition Rule for cases
of Great Intoxication.
     The effects of this spell are such that it will extend the time
needed to recover from a state of intoxication. For someone who became
Comatose add 5 hours to the recovery time. For Great intoxication add 4
hours. For Moderate intoxication add 3 hours and for Slight
intoxication add 2 hours to the recovery time. Using stimulants to
speed recovery is reduced by one half effectiveness unless magical
Stimulants are used. The spell also extends the time needed to recover
from a hangover by 1d4 hours. Obviously this spell becomes more potent
the higher the level of the caster. Since more people or monster could
be trapped and possibly made comatose by the spell.
     The material components for this spell are some dried grape skins
from an exceptional vintage or a sprinkling of the best hops.


Malar's Alcohol Detonation (Alteration, Evocation)

Level: 5
Range: 6"
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: Special

     This rather mean-spirited spell causes alcoholic beverages within
the area of effect to detonate violently. Such fluids which are already
within a being's system are immune to this effect, but a drink being
held to one's mouth at the time of detonation will still explode. The
mage designates a spherical area of effect somewhere within range as
his target (with a maximum radius of 3", and a minimum radius of 1/2
foot). All such beverages within this area will then immediately blow
up. Damage caused and blast radius by drink and quantity are detailed
below:
                                 Quantity Present
     Drink Type     1 cup     1 bottle    1 keg     Barrel or larger
     Beer         1d3, 1/2"   1d4, 1"    1d4, 2"    2d4, 4"
     Ale          1d4, 1"     1d4, 2"    1d6, 3"    3d4, 4"
     Wine         1d4, 1"     2d4, 2"    2d4, 3"    2d6, 4"
     Mead         1d6, 2"     2d6, 3"    4d4, 4"    3d8, 5"
     Liquor       1d10, 2"    3d6, 4"    2d12, 5"   5d8, 6"

     Amounts of damage are added, and blast radius is determined by
using the greater radius. For example, if the spell were directed at a
table on which sat three glasses of wine and a bottle of whiskey, then
the blast radius would be 4" and the damage caused would be 3d4 + 3d6.
A liquor cabinet or wine cellar has the potential for much destruction
with this spell.
     Beings within the blast radius may make a saving throw vs. spell
to take only half damage, UNLESS they were drinking from an exploding
liquid at the time, in which case they must save or take double damage
(double from that explosion only).
     The explosion may cause incidental fires, and tends to leave rays
of black carbonization behind on materials within the radius.









Transmute Matter To Alcohol (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 object
Saving Throw: None

        This spell turns any non-organic object into alcohol. The
object must be at least 10 yards away and in sight. It will turn into
the most common form of alcohol that is in the player's campaign world.
Thus if beer is the most prevalent form of alcohol, the object turns to
beer.
       Objects can be turned back with the reverse of this spell, but
all of the liquid must be contained together.
      After chanting and using motions involving thinking and pointing
at the object to be turned, the caster throws the material components
(a drop of 100% alcohol in a crystal casing and a small wooden carving
of the object [very simple]) at the object, which always magically hits
the object. Any object that is turned can be drunk, and once inside
turned back.
    The reverse, when used on normal alcohol, can summon very strange
objects. The DM can decide on what object, or roll on the Magical Item
chart to see what it is. (if this is used then it only LOOKS like the
magical item rolled).


Cloud of Great Intoxication (Evocation/Alteration)

Level: 9
Range: 100 yards
Components: V, M, S
Duration: 2 Turns / level
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: 60 foot-cube
Saving Throw: None

     This spell is similar to the fifth level spell Cloudkill. This
spell will create a large blue and pink billowing and churning cloud.
The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round. The cloud
will move along the ground at the casters direction. A light wind will
not affect the movement of the cloud as long as the magic-users is
concentrating on the spell. A med. strength wind will slow or change
the direction of the cloud no more than one foot per round in any
direction as long as the magic-user concentrates on the spell. A strong
wind will disperse the cloud after 5 rounds, unless the caster makes a
successful check vs. Int. to keep the cloud together and under control.
A very strong wind will disperse the cloud after 2 rounds, but if a
save is made the cloud remains but the caster can not control the spell
for that round. The caster will be spending all his/her concentration
on keeping the spell active. Heavy vegetation will slow the cloud to
one half speed and but will not cause it to disperse.
     All creatures enveloped by the cloud will be affected. All such
creatures will be put into an alcoholic coma unless they make a save
vs. poison. A successful save means that the creature will become
Greatly intoxicated. Any creature over 10+1 hit dice or higher will
save vs. poison at +2. Each round spent in the cloud increases the
chance of becoming intoxicated by the cloud.
     For each round spent in the cloud a creature must save vs. poison
or become comatose. For each round spent in the cloud beyond two any
creature or character must save at a cumulative -1 per round and after
four rounds magic resistance will be reduced by 5% per round spent
enveloped by the cloud. The power of this spell is such that even
creatures or persons immune to the effects of alcohol, magical or
otherwise, will be affected by this spell after five rounds. There are
no racial or weight modifiers to this spell. Please see the section on
intoxication to see the effects of intoxication and it is recommended
that DM's use the Optional Drunk Disposition Rule for cases of Great
Intoxication. The effects of this spell are such that it will extend
the time needed to recover from a state of intoxication. For someone
who became Comatose add 10 hours to the recovery time. Once the state
of Great intoxication has been reached it will take an additional 6
hours to recover. Once someone has moved to Moderate intoxication it
will take an additional 5 hours to reach a state of Slight
intoxication. It will take an extra 2 hours to return to normal. Using
stimulants to speed recovery is possible but if the constitution check
is failed add another thirty minutes to the recover time of to this
stage of intoxication. Magical stimulants can be used with no ill
effect. The spell also extends the time needed to recover from a
hangover by 2d6 hours and makes the effect of the hangover twice as
severe.
     Obviously this is a potent spell which in the right hands could
waylay a small army. The DM must be wary of how this potent magic is
used.
     The material components for this spell are some dried grape skins
or a sprinkling of the best hops, both must come from a once in a
century harvest. The second and most important component of this spell
is the blue breath of a content Alcohol Dragon, without which this
spell will not work.


FAE (Evocation)

Level: 9
Range: 1000 feet / level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 2 turns
Area of Effect: 200 feet/level radius
Saving Throw:

     FAE is a strategic, not tactical spell. Notice that most offensive
(and defensive for that matter) spells are tactical in nature. Attacks
that affect a few people are classified tactical, while large-scale
attacks (i.e. affecting a whole town or city) are strategic spells.
     To understand this spell, one must first take a look at the
history of bombs in a technically advanced society on a world called
Earth within a far off galaxy in another time. During 20th century
Earth, the design idea in most bombs was to include both the oxidant,
and the fuel (or technically a strong oxidizer, and a strong reducer)
in one shell. However, research was directed towards a bomb that might
use air as the oxidant (as did some weaker black-powder explosives,
though the better ones underwent a predominantly anaerobic reaction
during the explosion). Then the design idea was to create a bomb that
would carry that same explosive force, with half the weight. What the
wise military scientists created came cosmetically close to the force
of the first atomic bombs, with little or no pollution of any sort
(albeit its hard to refer to massive incendiaries as "environmentally
safe") and not much heavier than conventional weapons. These FAE (Fuel-
Air Explosive) bombs dispersed a gas fuel and then ignited it causing a
large explosion of fire that actually sucked the oxygen right out of
the air.
     This spell simulates the devastating technological bomb of Earth.
Once cast, the spell creates a large (25 feet long, 5 feet in diameter
at base), indestructible, magical missile from the mage's concoction
(described later) that heads to its target, better known as ground
zero. The missile cannot be stopped or manipulated naturally or
magically, it always gets to its destination (of course DMs may make
exceptions to this rule). Once ground zero is reached, the missile
lightly disperses a very strong, somewhat gaseous, magical alcohol that
is then ignited causing immense damage and complete lose of oxygen in
the area of effect.
     The spell's range to ground zero is 1000 feet for every level of
the caster. This allows an 18th level mage to center the spell as much
as three miles away. This would indicate that the mage is well within
enemy borders in most cases when the spell is cast, although he is
still a distance from his target.
     The area of effect is a sphere with a 200 feet per level of the
caster radius. The caster cannot control the area of effect. Thus if
the mage is 18th level, he will always cast a FAE that is 7200 feet in
diameter. Given that 5280 feet comprise a mile, this is quite a
distance. The mage better be descent at judging distance, or he might
suddenly find himself inside the area of effect of his own spell.
     Damage to the victims come by two means. The first is the
combustion/compression of the explosion which does 10d10 points of
damage. Victims get no saving throw because the area of effect is too
large and the explosion is the very air around the victim, thus escape
is impossible.
     The second means of damage stems from the suffocation resulting
from the explosion that uses up all the available oxygen in the area of
effect. Every round beginning the round the spell is cast, 2d8 damage
is taken from lack of oxygen. A victim that has a chance to take a
large breath of air and does not perform strenuous exercise while
holding his breath and is not fully encumbered can hold his breath for
a number of rounds equal to 1/3 his Constitution, rounded up
(nonstrenuous exercise includes such activities as normal movement,
searching for secret doors, etc.). If a victim is performing strenuous
exercise, the number of rounds is cut in half (strenuous exercise
includes combat, attempting to subdue or move an uncooperative
creature, trying to lift heavy weight, moving at high speed, etc.). If
a person does not have a chance to take a deep breath before the spell
takes effect, the amount of time is halved (rounded up). This halving
is cumulative with that strenuous exercise. Note that anybody can
always hold his breath for at least one round.
     When his breath runs out, a person does not immediately suffer the
2d8 points of damage caused because of the lack of oxygen. Each round
after his breath runs out, the person makes a Constitution check. The
first check has no modifiers, but there is a -2 cumulative modifier
each round thereafter. A failed check indicates that the victim tries
to inhale oxygen, which is not there, and suffers the 2d8 points of
damage. He will continue to suffer 2d8 points of damage each round
until oxygen diffuse back into the area of effect or he leaves the area
of effect or dies.
     After detonation of the spell which rids the area of effect of
oxygen, the oxygen will diffuse in at 50 feet a round.

     The material components of this spell are usually rare, typically
expensive, and quite bulky. During casting, the following ingredients
are mixed together:

   - Ten gallons of pure 200 proof alcohol is required. If there is any
     trace of impurity before casting, the spell will backfire causing
     the mage to be the center of the area of effect.  Many armies have
     foiled many mages by sending an assassin to place a foul liquid,
     such as Skunk Water, in the alcohol thus causing the mage and his
     comrades to be victims of their own spell.
   - One gallon of the highly poisonous blood of a Milwaukee is
     required. Many adventurers have died trying to kill a Milwaukee
     just to get its blood.

   - One gallon of holy water created by priests of Malus Temulentia.
   - A pint of blood from a 9th level priest of Ebrietas.
   - All alcohol from a gland of an alcohol dragon is required. This
     material component is difficult to get because the gland must be
     filled to get alcohol from it. Thus if the alcohol dragon used its
     breath weapon, the gland would be empty. Only clever adventures
     can kill an alcohol dragon to get the gland without having the
     dragon used its breath weapon. Note that capturing the alcohol
     from the breath weapon won't work because the alcohol enters an
     impure state. The pure state of the alcohol can only be found in a
     gland.

After the ingredients are blended together, the following items must be
added to the concoction:

   - One living boozeworm.

   - A dash of salt and a squirt of lime.

   - The ivory tusks of a Pink Elephant.

   - The hide of the sinister Clydesdale breed, Pravus Clydesdale.

   - The corpse of one giant alcohol black ant.

   - One diamond that has a value no less than 10,000 silver pieces.

     The material components are perhaps the biggest problem with the
spell for without them the spell can't be cast. DMs should make the
material components hard to come by and adventures should be made just
for that. In fact collecting the material components, whether by the
mage or other adventurers, would be a great way of introducing the
alcohol guide to a campaign.
     Only very rich people, like kings and other nobles, could afford
to purchase some of the more exotic material components. Thus a useful
partnership takes place: the ruler needs the wizard for the intense
spell, the wizard needs the ruler's resources to collect the
components.
     This spell is a closely guarded secret by those that are fortunate
to possess it. Using FAE offensively is great, but being on the
receiving end of the spell is not too fun.

Is this spell to powerful?

     An 18 is the minimum level the mage must be to cast this 9th
spell. Hopefully, few 18th level mages are roaming around. If a DM
allows a PC mage to reach 18th level, one of two points can be assumed.
Either the DM has been very careful to create game balance in which
case the DM will make this spell very dangerous to cast (via collecting
and keeping material components, getting safely to the target area
which is no doubt deep in secured enemy territory, etc.). Or the DM is
an out of control Monty Haulic in which case it doesn't matter if the
spell is to powerful; the argument would be "Is 9th level to high?".











                                Clerics


Speak with the Intoxicated (Alteration)

Level: 1
Sphere: Divination
Range: 1
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Saving Throw: None

     This spell empowers the priest to comprehend and communicate with
any person that is intoxicated. The priest is able to ask questions and
receive intelligent answers that are accompanied with friendless,
cooperations, and understanding. The true usefulness of the spell is
when the intoxicated person is comatose.
     A spell or power of this sort could make the priest a very
valuable party commodity for his/her ability to interrogate those who
require so much alcohol to loosen their tongues that it also shuts down
most of their brains.


Cure Drunkenness (Abjuration) Reversible

Level: 2
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: One creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell will instantly remove all effects of alcohol
intoxication from one target's system. This instantly alleviates
hangover, lack of sobriety, and all associated effects of being drunk
or its immediate after-effects. It will not cure or abate maladies
caused by long-term alcohol abuse, such as cirrhosis of the liver,
alcoholism, heart disease, etc..
     The reverse, cause drunkenness, will make its target instantly and
severely drunk. The drunkenness caused will last as long as normal
drunkenness would last, and may bring on a hangover. The severity of
the drunkenness is Slight if cast by a 2rd-5th level priest, Moderate
if cast by a 6th-9th level priest, and Great if cast by a 10th level or
higher priest.


Lower Alcohol Addiction (Abjuration)

Level: 2
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Saving Throw: None

     This spell allows the cleric to lower a person's alcohol
addiction by 2 per class level in the drinking and amount levels. For
example, a 5th level cleric casts this spell on a addicted person
(level 8 drinking, level 4 amount). The cleric gets 10 to work with
(5*2) and decides to lower the drinking level by 8 and the amount level
by 2. Thus the addicted person now has a drinking level of 0 and an
amount level by 2. A pretty good start for a speedy recovery.


Resist Intoxication (Abjuration)

Level: 2
Sphere: Protection
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 6d6 hours
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: Personal
Saving Throw: None

     This spell is used to protect a cleric against becoming
intoxicated when drinking, which is typically unbecoming of the clergy.
The alcohol ingested during the duration is mystically less effective.
The cleric has a +1 per two levels bonus to their Constitution check to
resist becoming (more) intoxicated. Note that it is still possible to
become drunk while protected, but it is much more difficult.
     The material components that are consumed at casting time are a
raw chicken egg, a red pepper, a chile pepper, and a pint of spring
water.


Speed Fermentation (Alteration)

Level: 2
Sphere: Nature (Druidic)
Range: 3 feet + 1 foot per level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 2 feet X 2 feet of volume + 2 feet per level
Saving Throw: None

     By the use of this spell, a Druid may speed the fermentation
process of any naturally fermentable vegetable matter (i.e. grapes,
potatoes, wheat, etc.). Within one hour all the contents in the
container will be completely fermented as if the full year or whatever
the necessary time period was had passed. The Druid must be careful to
make sure that all other preparations have been made to hold the newly
fermented liquid. There must be vats, bottles and anything else that is
necessary for the preservation of the Alcohol.
     The Druid must already know the time necessary to ferment the
grapes or whatever and the alcohol making processes before casting this
spell (i.e. the character must have a proper non-weapon proficiency).
    The material component is the Druids knowledge and a small
percentage of the fermented material.


Protection from Intoxication (Abjuration)

Level: 4
Sphere: Protection
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 12 hours
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: Personal
Saving Throw: None

     This spell will make the caster immune to the negative effects of
alcohol. While protected, alcoholic drinks will not intoxicate the
priest in the slightest way, and no side effects of alcohol will be
incurred from drinking. Note that this is really unfair to use in a
drinking contest! Poisons or other substances in the drink will still
affect the priest normally, however. Taste is not affected.
     The material components consumed at casting time are a 6 chicken
eggs. The other material components is a pink flamingo feather.


Transmute Water to Wine (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 6
Sphere: Elemental (Water)
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 cubic yard/level
Saving Throw: Special

     This spell allows a cleric to show his dedication to his/her
deity. When successfully cast, this spell turns any palatable water
into wine (of the cleric's choice) of the highest quality. Salt water
or containment water gets a saving throw. Detect magic spells may (50%
chance) show it to have a very dim glow.
     Only a truly dedicated cleric will be allowed to cast this spell,
and frivolous castings of it may incur the wrath of superior beings.
Proper conditions to be met are:

     - The cleric's deity will be honored by this act.
     - The act should be used to help recruit influential persons to
       the deity's cause.
     - If more worshipers/believers may be drawn to the deity through
       this act, so much the better!
     - Certain ceremonies may use this to celebrate the divinity of the
       deity.


Zone of Tolerance (Abjuration) Reversible

Level: 6
Sphere: Protection
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 24 hours
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: 12" radius area
Saving Throw: Special

     This spell is used by a cleric to create an area in which alcohol
has a diminished effect on creatures. Any being who enters the area
must make a saving throw vs. spell to overcome the compulsion to NOT
drink. Creatures who enter the area already intoxicated will have their
level of intoxication reduced by 1 level (note that this sobers up
those who are Slightly intoxicated). Constitution checks made in the
area are unmodified, no matter what is being imbibed, thus making it
more difficult to become drunk.
     The reverse, Zone of Intoxication, creates an area in which
alcohol is more effective than normal. Any being entering the area must
save vs. spells or be compelled to drink. Creatures entering the area
will become 1 level more intoxicated than they were (not more than
Greatly intoxicated, and sober creatures are unaffected by this).
Constitution checks are made at a -3 penalty, cumulative with other
penalties, making it easier to become drunk.
     This spell is popular by clerics who assist temperance
organizations. The reverse is popular amongst business owners who enjoy
the large consumption of alcohol. Of course, they must find clerics
willing to help the business. Most clerics will cast the spell for a
small contribution to the church.
     The material component of the spell is a sea sponge with a serving
of alcohol sucked into it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                    LOHOCLA'S TOME OF ULTIMATE CHAOS


APPEARANCE: This is a magical volume 12" long and 6" wide. Both covers
and the spine of the book are fashioned from a oiled cedar wood which
possesses a deep golden-brown shine. On the inside is a spine made of
leather, glued to the wooden spine, to which are sewn the pages of
high-quality vellum. The corners of the cover are reinforced by silver
corner caps. Silver hinges attach the covers to the spin, and both
covers are joined by a silver clasp with a lock.
     The symbol of Lohocla, an ornamental "L" of gold is on the cover.
The "L" is engulfed in beautiful vines, wheat, barley, and other
natural, agricultural resources of alcohol.

HISTORY AND DESCRIPTION: Lohocla has created many of these tomes and
has distributed them across the planes. The main recipients of such a
grand prize are those mages with a great, if not excessive, fondness
for alcohol. Although there are many tomes, they are all identical
except for a small serial number on the back cover in the lower right
hand corner.


PAGES:

Symbol Page (1 page)

     The decorative symbol of Lohocla which appears on the cover
fills this page. Once a person views the symbol, he/she must make a
save vs. poison or enter a state of comatose intoxication. Of course,
this page is intended to be a non-lethal defense mechanism.

Alcohol Information (50 pages)

     These pages are an informative collection of knowledge on alcohol.
The player should consult the Introduction To Alcohol, Proficiency In
Brewing, Proficiency In Wine-Making, Proficiency In Distilling, and
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Distilleries sections of The
Complete Guide to AD&D Alcohol for examples of the content.
     A character with Intelligence of at least 12 that studies the
information may take a non-weapon proficiency in brewing, wine-making,
or distilling if a NWP slot is available.

Information Transfer Pages (6 pages)

     The first page of this section tells of Lohocla's plans to collect
all the information in the known planes on alcohol. This is followed by
specific instructions. The instructions direct the mage to write any
pertinent alcohol information on the next five pages using normal ink.
After the information is written, then a magical transfer takes place
in an hour. All information on those 5 pages appear on magical scrolls
in Lohocla's possession. At his convenience, Lohocla examines the
information and probably archives it. Depending on the content, Lohocla
may decide to follow up the information. He would be curious to sample
a new alcohol drink, visit a new and exciting tavern, or research a new
alcohol spell mentioned in the information. The information is wiped
clean from the tome.


Spells

Level 1
Lohocla's Create Beer & Pretzels
Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets
Lohocla's Enchanted Bartender & Staff

Level 2
Lohocla's Drunken Memory Teleport
Lohocla's Monster Summoning 1/2 Pint

Level 3
Lohocla's Aqua Vitae
Lohocla's Fire Flow
Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport

Level 4
Lohocla's Cloud of Alcohol
Lohocla's "Shaken Not Stirred"

Level 5
Lohocla's Mother-of-All-Burps




Lohocla's Create Beer & Pretzels (Alteration)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 turn
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: None

     Lohocla didn't want clerics to be the only spell casters able to
create food. Unfortunately, the results might not be as nourishing as a
cleric's food and water. However, Lohocla's beer and pretzels have
their benefits.
     When this spell is cast, the mage causes beer and pretzels to
appear. For every level of the mage, a quart of beer is created and a
half-pound of pretzels. The pretzels come in a wide variety of sizes
and types. The beer is of excellent quality and quite filling.
     The beer becomes flat and the pretzels become stale in 24 hours,
although they can be restored for another 24 hours by a purify spell of
some sort.
     The material components of the spell is a pinch of salt and a
pinch of hops.









Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets (Evocation)

Level: 1
Range: 50 yards + 10 yards/level
Components: V, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 or more creatures in 25-foot cube
Saving Throw: None

     This spell was created by Lohocla or at least commissioned by him.
Lohocla wanted to give a gift(?) back to those mages who have supported
him in the past. This spell is bizarre in that a person must be
intoxicated to use. Lohocla has a unique concept of magic and the best
way to wield it. Yet, this may be a benefit because this eccentric
spell allows the mage to cast at low-level, a powerful and damaging
(possibly dangerous) rockets at its opponents even though his current
ability is poor because the intoxication.
     The material components of this spell are a bottle of alcohol (any
type) and a 1-foot long smooth stick that can fit into the bottle with
one end sticking out.
     An unusual spell indeed, this spell cannot be cast unless the
caster is under the influence of alcohol (i.e. in a state of slight,
moderate, or great intoxication). Of course, the mage generally doesn't
go adventuring while drunk, so this becomes a big hindrance if not
useless. On the other hand, it can be a real benefit when the mage goes
to a place knowing full well that he will become intoxicated. Mainly,
because the % of spell failure does not exist in the case of this spell
(note that the chance of spell failure is still there for all other
spells). This becomes very valuable because the mage can get
intoxicated, with all the problems it entails, and always have a
memorized spell that will work (especially when greatly intoxicated
when the % chance of spell failure is 100%).
     When the mages casts the spell, he must take a swig of alcohol
from the bottle, place the stick in the bottle, and then aim the bottle
at its target which all takes place while saying the magical words.
     Once the spell is cast, 2 per-level sparkling rockets of magical
energy fly out of the bottle with a ear piercing whistle to unerringly
strike their target(s) with a dazzling display of colors (see below).
This includes enemy creatures in a melee. The target creature must be
seen must be seen otherwise detected to be hit, however, so near-total
concealment, such as that offered by arrow slits, can render the spell
ineffective. Likewise, the caster must be able to identify the target.
He cannot direct a rocket to "strike the captain of the guard," unless
he can single out the captain from the rest of the soldiers. Specific
parts of a creature cannot be singled out. Inanimate objects (locks,
etc.) cannot be damaged by the spell, and the rockets disperse with no
effect.
     Very fascinating, the damage a rocket does is dependent on the
state of intoxication the mage is in. If in a state of slight
intoxication, each rocket will do 1d4+1 points of damage. If in a state
of moderate intoxication, each rocket will do 1d8+1 points of damage.
If in a state of great intoxication, each rocket will do 1d12+1 points
of damage. This is possibly the only instance where being more
intoxicated is a benefit in combat.
     When a rocket hits a target, a spray (5' X 10' X 10' wedge) of
vivid multiple colors spring forth from the impact spot. Usually, the
color splash is harmless but dazzling. There is a 1% chance per level
of the caster that the color slash will be harmful. If harmful, then
from one to six creatures (1d6) within the area are affected in order
of increasing distance from the target. All creatures above the level
of the mage and all those of 6th level or 6 hit dice or more are
entitled to a saving throw vs. spell. Blind or unseeing creatures are
not affected by the spell. Creatures not allowed or failing saving
throws, and whose hit dice or levels are less than or equal to the
mage's level, are struck unconscious for 2d4 rounds; those with hit
dice or levels 1 or 2 greater than the mage's level are blinded for 1d4
rounds; those with hit dice or levels 3 or more greater than that of
the mage are stunned (reeling and unable to think or act coherently)
for one round.


Lohocla's Enchanted Bartender & Staff (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 hour / level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 40-foot radius
Saving Throw: None

     Lohocla created this spell for a tavern owner, who happened to be
a retired adventurer mage, that was having business trouble. Lohocla
gave him 100 gold pieces, bestowed the bartending NWP on him, taught
him an abundance of alcohol drinks, gave him the spell, and cast a
permanency spell on an enchanted bartender to serve the mage as a main
bartender. The spell is not one normally studied by adventuring mages
but is often used by retired adventurers and other sedentary types.
     This specialized version of the unseen servant was developed with
one particular task in mind - bartending and barkeeping. The enchanted
bartender and staff are magical forces under the control of the mage.
     The main power of the spell creates an enchanted bartender. It can
perform simple barkeeping actions like making, serving, and doctoring
drinks; wiping the bar; cleaning dirty drinking vessels; filling snack
bowls; etc..
     The enchanted bartender can only make mixed drinks that the mage
himself has prepared at some point in his life. Hopefully, the mage has
the bartending non-weapon proficiency so that his enchanted bartender
can make perfect drinks.
     Every three levels, the mage can create an enchanted barmaid to
assist the enchanted bartender. Thus at level 3 the mage can create one
barmaid, at level 6 the mage can create two barmaids, at level 9 the
mage can create three barmaids, etc.. An enchanted barmaid cannot mix
drinks like the enchanted bartender. An enchanted barmaid can perform
simple barmaid actions like serving drinks and snacks, wiping off
tables, sweeping up messes, etc..
     Every six levels, the mage can create an enchanted bouncer. Thus
at level 6 the mage can create one bouncer, at level 12 the mage can
create two bouncers, at level 18 the mage can create three bouncers,
etc.. An enchanted bouncer serves only one purpose: to expel disorderly
persons (with the exception of the mage of course) in a bar/tavern
setting. An enchanted bouncer has a Strength of 18/1d100, a Dexterity
of 18, and a number of hit points equal to the mages. If an enchanted
bouncer is given resistance, he proficiently attacks with non-lethal
combat such as punching and wrestling. DMs must be sure that the player
does not abuse an enchanted bouncer's power. It is only created to
expel disorderly people in a bar/tavern setting, not to enter the
mage's combative battles while adventuring.
     The enchanted bartender and staff with the exception of the
bouncers are no stronger then an unseen servant and no more dextrous
than its creator. The enchanted bartender and staff can be left to do
their duties on their own. If something disrupts the smooth flow of
their routine (such as the arrival of Tiamat), the staff will go to the
enchanted bartender who will seek the advice of its creator.
     All creations may be dispelled by the caster at will. Also, an
enchanted bartender or any staff other than the bouncers can be
dispelled by taking 6 points of damage from the area of effect attacks
such as breath weapons, explosions, etc.. A dispel magic spell will get
rid of everybody. The material components of this spell are a block of 
birch wood and some string.


Lohocla's Drunken Memory Teleport (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 5 feet / level
Components: V
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 2 segments
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: Reverses

     Another gift of Lohocla's to strange mages this is the low-level sister spell to Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport. Although it may seem quite powerful, it is not. The consequences of casting this spell are quite dangerous, which will be mentioned later. Many first-level spells would be a much better pick, but some half-crazed mages add this spell to their collection for a little random spontaneity.
     When this spell is used, the mage is able to teleport a maximum weight of 250 pounds, plus additional 150 pounds for each level of experience above the 10th (a 13th-level mage can teleport up to 700 pounds), to a randomly selected place. The place has an alcohol theme (i.e. inns, taverns, bars, wineries, breweries, distilleries, vineyards, etc.) and is a location previously visited by the mage after receiving the spell. Thus, a mage who just copied the spell into his spell book would have a non-functioning spell until he visited an
alcohol-related location. The player should make a table of all the locations and once the spell is cast, roll on the table to see where the teleportees go to. The DM may opt to make the locations on the table be weighted thus making the more frequently visited places become the target of the spell more often. The spell functions by scanning the character's subconscious for those places in memory where alcohol or alcohol themes were present.
     Every living being or magical item gets a saving throw, if desired (a person who wants himself and his belongings teleported doesn't require a saving throw). If the saving throw is successful, the mage and any comrades/friends (the spell scans the mage's mind to see who should accompany the spell) are teleported instead as long as everybody's weight is under the maximum weight able to be teleported. It is the DM's decision who gets teleported with the mage if everybody can't be teleported because of the weight restriction.
     Because the spell can be reversed and that the spell uses the mage's memories, it can be very dangerous for the mage if he uses it against enemies. Mainly, the spell sends the enemies to the establishments that the mage visited and if the mage ever returns to these places, the people there will probably be quite upset. The best use of the spell is to cast it on himself and the his comrades so they will be teleported to the places. Of course, if there are hostile places that they can be teleported to, then they could be in an even worse situation. Also, not to many adventuring parties will want to
chance leaving in the middle of an adventure because of this spell.
     Unlike its sister spell, Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport, this spell permanently teleports the teleportees to the location. Why such a low level spell? Without reiterating the dangers of the spell's reverse ability, randomness, and the level of relative spells (i.e. Teleport, Teleport without Error); the best argument is based on spell and mage level. It is a fact that a high level spell can only be utilized by a high level mage. It is assumed that a high level mage will have high level opponents. High level opponents will have a good chance of making their saving throws, thus rendering the spell reversible. Thus, as a mage goes up in level, this spell becomes progressively useless. If the spell has a high level that only high level mages can take, it would not see much use. However, if the spell has a low level that can be utilized by low level mages, it would have use (at a high risk) for a time.
     Before a player or DM doesn't give this spell a chance, just remember that nothing can be more nostalgic then high-level characters being teleported to a tavern they once visited when they were first level. Plus, DMs can dig out the old information that they thought they would never use again.


Lohocla's Monster Summoning 1/2 Pint (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 2
Range: 20 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 rounds + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: None

     This chaotic spell is respectfully named for the Guardian of Alcohol Lohocla. Actually the spell was created by a mage, with a fondness for booze, who wanted to pay tribute to the "King" with a powerful low-level spell. When Lohocla found out about this tribute, the mage was lavishly rewarded with many bottles, barrels, and jugs of excellent wine, beer, ale, and mead. They became quick bar buddies with a hefty tab. Anyhow, the spell isn't as grand and powerful as it may seem. Although the spell can give great rewards, it can equally cause as much trouble. Thus, it is a low level spell that few mages would add to their collection. Only the foolish of mages take such an unpredictable spell. Luckily most adventurers are foolish. Within one round of casting this spell, the mage magically conjures a monster or monsters that have a relationship to alcohol (no matter how minute). Roll on the Table A to see what monster(s) are summoned. When a mage reaches 9th level, he may at his option modify the die roll by 1 thus giving him a choice of three monsters. Thus a 9th level mage rolls a 2. He can now decide to summon a St. Bernard dog
(2), Throat Leach (1=2-1), or Clydesdale horse (3=2+1). Every four levels, the mage can get an extra roll on the table if he wants. Thus at level 5 the mage gets two rolls, at level 9 the mage gets three rolls, etc...

TABLE A: Monster(s) Summoned (1d100 / 3 rounding up)

Die                            No.                           Frequency
Roll Monster                   Appearing   Found In          & Hit Die
 1   Throat Leach              1d6         FF 88             comm 1hp
 2   Dog, Saint Bernard        1           Alcohol Guide     comm 2+2
 3   Horse, Clydesdale         1           Alcohol Guide     comm 3+3
 4   Leprechaun                1d20        MC2               unco 2-5hp
 5   Satyr                     2d4         MC1               unco 5
 6   Boozeworm                 1d2         Alcohol Guide     rare 2hp
 7   Sprite                    10d10       MC1               rare 1hp
 8   Oozes, Crystal            1d2         MC1               rare 4
 9   Centaur, Sylvan           1d8         MC1               rare 4
10   Milwaukee                 1           Alcohol Guide     rare 5
11   Succubus                  1           MC Outer Planes   rare 6
12   Mold, Brown               1 patch     MC2               very -
13   Alcohol Hummingbird       1           Alcohol Guide     very 2hp
14   Alchemy Plant             1           MC9 Spelljamer2   very 1
15   Skeleton, Yo-Ho-Ho        3d10        Alcohol Guide     very 1+2
16   Ants, Red Alcohol         1d100       Alcohol Guide     very 2-3
17   Ants, Black Alcohol       1d100       Alcohol Guide     very 2-3
18   Gremlin, Fremlin          1d4         MC Greyhawk       very 3+6
19   Horse, Volatilis Clyde.   5d10        Alcohol Guide     very 4
20   Horse, Pravus Clydesdale  1d20        Alcohol Guide     very 5
21   Dragon, Kodragon          1           MC DragonLance    very 5
22   Korred                    1d4         MC1               very 6+1
23   Elephant, Pink            1d12        Alcohol Guide     very 11
24   Luch                      1           Alcohol Guide     very 11+
25   Alcohol Dragon            1           Alcohol Guide     very 13+
26   REROLL on Table A with -1 cumulative to the die roll
27   REROLL on Table A with -2 cumulative to the die roll
28   REROLL on Table A with -3 cumulative to the die roll
29   ROLL twice on Table A ignoring rolls greater than 24
30   ROLL thrice on Table A ignoring rolls greater than 24
31   Special: ROLL on Table B


TABLE B: Special (1d100)

Die                               No.                         Frequency
Roll  Monster                  Appearing      Found In        & Hit Die
01-15 Malus Succubus (avatars)    1d2         AG (Malus)      very  6
16-30 The Wines (avatars)          1          AG (Vinumus)    very
31-45 Boozies (avatars)           1d12        AG (Ebrietas)   very 15
46-60 Swissyries (avatars)         6          AG (Excitarus)  very 15
61-70 Excitarus' dogs (minions)    4          AG (Excitarus)  uniq 10ea
71-75 Berry & Grape (minions)      2          AG (Vinumus)    uniq 15ea
76-80 Seltzer (human)              1          AG (Ebrietas)   uniq  7
81-90 The Guardian Of Alcohol      1          AG              uniq
91-95 Bartles & James (gods)       1          AG (Vinumus)    uniq
 96   Ebrietas (god)               1          AG (Ebrietas)   uniq
 97   Malus Temulentia (god)       1          AG (Malus)      uniq
 98   Vinumus (god)                1          AG (Vinumus)    uniq
 99   Excitarus (god)              1          AG (Excitarus)  uniq
 00   Special: ROLL on Table C


TABLE C: Special II (1d30)

Die
Roll   Result
01-05  REROLL on Table B with -10 cumulative to the die roll
06-10  REROLL on Table B with -20 cumulative to the die roll
11-15  REROLL on Table B with -30 cumulative to the die roll
16-20  REROLL on Table B with -40 cumulative to the die roll
21-22  ROLL 2x on Table B
23-24  ROLL 3x on Table B
25-26  ROLL 4x on Table B
 27    ROLL 5x on Table B and duck because the shit will hit the fan
 28    The mage may choose his force from Table A
 29    The mage may choose his force from Table B; no gods
 30    The DM should reward such great dice rolling with a wish or some
       great item of alcohol nature. Then he should have the dice
       checked to see if they are really that good.

     Any rolls equal to or less than 0 are equal to 1.
     The monsters, or monster if only one was summoned, appear in an
area within the spell range, as desired by the mage. If the monster is
from Table A, roll on Table D to see how the monster or monsters will
react.


TABLE D: Monster(s) Reactions (1d12)

01-06 They attack the spell caster's opponents to the best of their
      ability until either he commands that the attacks cease, the
      spell duration expires, or the monsters are slain. If no opponent
      exists to fight, summoned monsters can, if a wizard can
      communicate with them and if they are physically able, perform
      other services for the summoning mage.
07-10 They attack the spell caster and his comrades to the best of
      their ability until the spell duration expires, or the monsters
      are slain.
11-12 They act independently of the spell caster and will act according
      to intelligence, alignment, morale, and the DMs wishes.

     The creatures vanish when slain. Creatures from 1 and 2 do not
check morale.
     The material components of this spell are a tiny bag, a small
candle (not necessarily lit), and a 1/2 pint of pure grain alcohol.
Lohocla's Aqua Vitae (Necromancy)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 9
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Saving Throw: None

     The great magic of healing is not limited to those medic clerics
that roam with adventuring parties. Lohocla bestows the art of healing
to mages through this spell.
     Known to some as the "Water of Life", this spell's healing powers
begin once the mage anoints the injured person with alcohol. The
alcohol may be of any type (i.e. beer, wine, liquor, etc.) but must be
a minimum of 100 years old (i.e. created at least a century ago). When
anointing the injured person, the mage must have physical contact with
the victim (i.e. touch him).
     After the spell is cast, it causes 1d8 + 1 for every level of the
mage points of wound or other injury damage to the creature's body to
be healed. This healing cannot affect creatures without corporeal
bodies, nor can it cure wounds of creatures not living or of
extraplanar origin.
     Curing is permanent only insofar as the creature does not sustain
further damage; caused wounds will heal - or can be cured - just as any
normal injury.
     This spell along with the permanency spell and a few other magicks
can be used to make a healing potion. Unlike the cleric's healing
potions, this mage's potion has the taste and effects of wine. An
exciting concept indeed.


Lohocla's Fire Flow (Alteration)

Level: 3
Range: Special
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 round / level
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: None

     After the mage casts this spell, a stream of flaming alcohol
shoots out in a straight line from his clenched fist. The mage can move
the stream 90 degrees per round. Thus given 4 rounds, the mage can
cover 360 degrees, i.e. engulf his surroundings.
     The amount of flaming alcohol is dependent of the mage's level. A
5th level mage casts a "stream", a 5' long stream, at a rate of 5
gallon per round. A 7th level mage casts a "fountain", a 10' long
stream, at a rate 10 gallons per round. A 9th level mage casts a
"geyser", a 20' long stream, at a rate 25 gallons per round. A mage has
the option of producing a less potent flow. For example, a 9th level
mage is able to cast a geyser but may opt to cast a fountain or stream.
     When any creature comes in contact with the burning alcohol, it
suffers 1d4 points of damage, plus 1 point of damage for each level of
experience of the mage.
     The liquid will remain for the duration of the spell doing 2
points of damage each round. Flammable materials touched by the liquid
burn. Things burning can be extinguished in the next round after the
spell ends if no other action is taken. "Stop, Drop, and Roll."
     The mage's movement is quartered for the duration of the spell.
Also, he may not perform any other actions except aiming the flow. The
mage may not stop the flow of the flaming alcohol, only the ending of
the spell will do this.
     The material components of the spell are a bar of lye soap, a pint
of pure alcohol, and a flame from any source.


Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport (Alteration)

Level: 3
Range: 10 feet / level
Components: V
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 2 segments
Area of Effect: Special
Saving Throw: Reverses

      Lohocla wanted to help mages escape from dire situations or get
rid of their enemies very quickly. Unfortunately the spell tries to do
both which lends itself to chaos and tends to accomplish the wrong
solution. The disorder of this spell presents itself in many ways, as
most of Lohocla's spells do. This spell isn't the most powerful spell
(although it may seem so), mainly because it has a big chance of
backfiring. It might get the mage and his comrades out of trouble, but
it could give them some new problems.
     When this spell is used, the mage is able to teleport a maximum
weight of 250 pounds, plus additional 150 pounds for each level of
experience above the 10th (a 13th-level mage can teleport up to 700
pounds), to a randomly selected place.
     Every living being or magical item gets a saving throw, if desired
(a person who wants himself and his belongings teleported doesn't
require a saving throw). If the saving throw is successful, the mage
and any comrades are teleported instead as long as everybody's weight
is under the maximum weight able to be teleported. It is the DM's
decision who gets teleported with the mage if everybody can't be
teleported because of the weight restriction.
     Roll on Table A to see where the victims are teleported. The
descriptions presented here are in terms as if the characters were
teleported. Why? Nobody cares what happens to other people who are
teleported to these locations. Players want to know what happens to
their characters and DMs will be required to run a scenario in the new
location. Thus, the information is provided to assist DMs in a running
a clever and humorous scenario. The places presented here are ideas and
suggestions from fiction and non-fiction of the past, present, and
future. DMs should feel to modify the locations as he sees fit to
better suit his knowledge (some suggestions are give in the
description). The better a DM knows a place, the better the characters'
encounter will be. Also remember: "Just go with the flow".
     The duration of the spell is: 1d30 hours + 2d30 minutes + 2d30
seconds + 1 hour per level (Note: those that aren't one of the elite
group who have a 30-sider may substitute a 20-sider, but they are
missing one of the great treasurers of the RPG world). DMs may opt to
decide the duration based on his plans for the characters in the
strange locations. DMs are encouraged to make these encounters exciting
and unique. If the DM thrusts the characters into an exciting plot in a
bizarre environment, then the DM should not be constrained by the
spell's duration. The spell is intended to add thrills to PCs'
adventuring career and a little fun for the DM's hard work.

     Why such a low level spell? Without reiterating the dangers of the
spell's reverse ability, randomness, and the level of relative spells
(i.e. Teleport, Teleport without Error); the best argument is based on
spell and mage level. It is a fact that a high level spell can only be
utilized by a high level mage. It is assumed that a high level mage
will have high level opponents. High level opponents will have a good
chance of making their saving throws, thus rendering the spell
reversible. Thus, as a mage goes up in level, this spell becomes
progressively useless. If the spell has a high level that only high
level mages can take, it would not see much use. However, if the spell
has a low level that can be utilized by low level mages, it would have
use (at a high risk) for a time.


TABLE A: Locations (Roll 1d100 / 4 rounded up)

01. Dodge City Saloon in Dodge City, KA (1874, real world)

     The characters find themselves, just outside the swinging doors of
an old west saloon in Dodge City, or an old west city the DM likes.
     Great scenarios exist in the root-and-tooten wild west. Hopefully,
the characters arrival will stir up a lot of trouble with the outlaws,
sheriffs, and other interesting folks.
     The DM is referred to The Complete Guide To AD&D Technology and
the Boot Hill RPG to assist in handling old west situations.

02. Miriam's Place in Nepal (1936, Raiders of the Lost Ark)

     Miriam's Place is a dive nestled deep in the cold mountains of
Nepal. Miriam, inherited it from her father Abner, an archaeologist.
The adventurers can appear in the establishment before Indiana Jones or
the Nazis show up OR any time the DM wishes. Hopefully, the characters
will tag along with Indiana Jones as he searches for the Ark of the
Covenant (treat as a powerful artifact).
     If DMs want to allow characters to adventure with Indiana, then he
should watch the movie and take some serious notes. It will be worth
it, even though the players have probably seen the movie.
     DMs may want Indiana to go back to the characters' world as an
exciting NPC or new player character.

03. Rosie's Bar or The Officer's Club at MASH 4077 in Korea (1950-
    1953, MASH television show)

     The characters find themselves in one of the local bars of the
MASH 4077. The DM can put them in any time with the old or new cast.
Many exciting scenarios exist with this mad-capped crew. Frank Burns
can capture the characters as the enemy. Hot lips can be attracted to
one of the charismatic characters.
     The DM should consider picking his favorite episode and drop the
characters in the middle of it. "5:00 Charlie".

04. Schott's Brewing Company in Milwaukee, WS (1950s, Laverne and
    Shirley)

     The characters find themselves in the middle of the Milwaukee
Brewing company surrounded by bottles traveling on conveyor belts and
lots of other machinery. Two young workers, Laverne and Shirley, are
nearby working. Of course, Laverne and Shirley will have to get
involved with the characters, possibly even asking one of them out for
a date (a good way to see the 20th century city).
     DMs should watch the television show to see some of the mad-capped
adventures they can get into if they stick with Laverne, Shirley,
Lenny, and Squiggy.

05. The Regal Beagle in Los Angeles, CA (1980s, Threes Company)

     The characters find themselves in a corner booth of a small pub.
Sitting nearby by are Jack, Janet, and Chrissy (or Terry). Across the
room is Larry picking up a women. The Ropers (or Mr. Firley) are also
in the pub.
     Many exciting plots can develop if the characters interact with
the people. Of course, it should be based on a huge misunderstanding,
     DMs should watch the television show to see how goofy everybody
acts. Hopefully, DMs won't go crazy watching the show.

06. The Pacific Princess cruise ship some where on the Pacific Ocean
    (1980s, The Love Boat)

     Possibly one of the worst encounters, the characters find
themselves at the bar by the pool or in the Pirate's Cove on the
Pacific Princess cruise ship better known as the Love Boat. Of course,
the first person they meet will be big-grinned Issac Washington the
chief bartender. Other ship's crew are Julie Mccoy, Gopher, the good
doctor, and the captain.
     Hopefully, the characters won't be considered stowaways and can
interact with everybody. All kinds of people can be passengers on the
ship so the DM may go nuts with interaction. Please don't let Charo on.

07. Alcohol Anonymous Meeting, anywhere (present, real world)

     The characters find themselves outside a door which has "AA" on
it. If they enter, the characters see a bunch of people who are
discussing their alcohol problem. They openly welcome the characters
who must have a problem given their strange appearance and behavior.

08. The Boar's Nest in Hazzard County, GA (present, The Dukes of
    Hazzard)

     The characters find themselves outside of a grey wood building
with a Boar's Nest sign. There are some interesting motor vehicles in
the dirt parking lot: a orange "racing" car with a 01 on the side and a
confederate flag on top, a long white convertible with a bull horn on
the hood, a nice-looking jeep with a golden eagle on the hood and
"Dixie" written on the side, a old white pick-up truck, a tow-truck,
and two beat-up police cars.
     If they enter the building, the characters find a country bar.
Among the patrons are Uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke (or sadly Coy and
Vince), Crazy Cooter, Enos, Cledos, and the sexy long-legged Daisy
waiting tables in her oh-so-tight shorts. In a back room can be found
Boss Hogg and Roscoe.
     Oh boy, the many scenarios in Hazzard is unreal. The characters
could get hired by Boss Hogg for a mischief task. They could help the
Dukes stop Boss Hogg and Roscoe do something terrible. They could get
the Duke Boys out of trouble. And of course, everybody will want to
become Daisy Duke's love interest. Personally, somebody should beat up
Enos, that sissy hillbilly. Whatever scenario the DM creates, it should
be based around the moonshine business.
     The DM should definitely have a hide speed car chase with all the
jumps. The DM should also watch the show over and over again to really
get the feel of Hazzard County.

09. Bush Gardens Amusement Park in Williamsburg, VA (present, real
    world)

     The characters find themselves riding on the Loch Ness Monster
Roller Coaster, or another exciting ride. Hopefully, the characters can
survive the ride and tour the amusement park and the brewery.
     The characters, dressing as adventurers usually do, will find
themselves be approached by the tourists thinking that they (the
characters) are part of the attraction ("Look honey, get a picture of
little Albert with the medieval mage"). The only way the characters can
get American currency is to sell their gold, silver, copper, and
platinum pieces to the tourists (DMs should be stingy in this regard,
as the tourists would be). Hopefully, the character will buy some
souvenirs after obtaining some cash.
     As the advertisement states: "Come. See. Conquer!"

10. Cheers Bar in Boston, MA (present, Cheers)

     "Where everybody knows your name, and your friends they're glad
you came...". That's right, the characters are in the famous Cheers bar
with all the staff and patrons: Sam Malone, Norm, Cliff, Frazier,
Carla, Rebecca or Diane, Woody or Coach. A DM should pick a favorite
episode of the television show and thrust their characters in the
middle of it.
     Many possible scenarios can take place in the bar. Their clothes
alone allows Carla to insult the characters' wardrobe, Diane to belive
the characters are a theater group and request a performance, Frazier
to try and help them mentally, Norm and Cliff to accept them as long as
they get a beer from them.

11. The Corner Cafe in Lavale, MD (present, real world)

     The Corner Cafe is in the Country Club Mall. This is a typical
mall bar and DMs should feel free to change this to a bar in a familiar
mall.
     The main point of this encounter is to get the characters into a
mall. If they can get a hold of some money and try to fit in, then they
can have tons of fun shopping. Of course, interaction with the mall
rent-a-cops would be fun as well.

12. HammerJacks in Baltimore, Maryland (present, real world)

     The characters pop in amongst a large wild crowd in the ultimate
heavy metal bar. The characters will mostly go unnoticed because
everybody here is weird.
     Cans of warm beer for only $3.75 and drinks in plastic cups (glass
is dangerous) for even larger prices can be bought. Overflowing
toilets, sinks, and garbage cans are in the bathroom. But most
importantly, the DM should have his favorite heavy metal (or close to
heavy metal) group on stage with more groups to come. If the DM can't
come up with one, have Guns N' Roses preforming when the characters
arrive. Then Metallica and then Skid Row can perform. What a night, as
long as the characters don't get drunk and pass out.
     This can lead to many exciting encounters, especially if the
characters can get a hold of the 20th century technology, i.e. the
electric guitar.

13. Improv Comedy Club, Los Angeles, CA (present, real world)

     The characters find themselves in the back of a dark bar. There is
a stage in the front on which is a person performing comedy. A waitress
asks the characters if they would like to be seated now and then takes
there drink orders.
     This encounter is a great place for the DM to do a comedy routine
if that is his forte. Hopefully, the DM will at least put well known
comics on stage like Dennis Miller.

14. Mo's Tavern in Springfield, U.S.A. (present, The Simpsons)

     The characters find themselves in the cartoon world of The
Simpsons. What can be more exciting then being a cartoon. They get to
meet Mo, Homer, Barney, and the rest of the drunks.
     The DM is referred to the Toon RPG to make this experience a
memorable one.

15. The Nudy Bar in Paw Paw, WV (present, real world)

     The DM can make this a strip bar nearest (and maybe even familiar)
to the DM. If the DM is not familiar with such things, then it will be
a bar in a hick town in West Virginia.
     The characters find themselves in the back of the Paw Paw, WV nudy
bar. The bar is packed with loud, obnoxious hillbillies whaling and
slobbering over naked, tattooed, scarred, somewhat-attractive women.
Very few people will notice the oddness of the characters due to the
floor show.

16. The Safehouse in Milwaukee, WS (present, real world/James Bond
    movies)

     Characters find themselves outside a fairly nondescript cream
brick building. The Safehouse is just south of the Windham hotel on
Water Street. There is a deli on the north side of the building, and a
restaurant on the west side overlooking the Milwaukee river. This is a
secretive bar visited by men of government and specifically spies.
     Walking up to the east side of the building, there is a stairway
leading up to a very simple door. The characters would assume that it
is just a warehouse door, except for the sign which says "International
Exports" (the name of the cover-company James Bond worked for).
      There is the main bar, and the "American Bar" in the safehouse,
along with a restaurant. Message tubes pass orders from the bars to the
restaurant. The food is excellent, so popular the owners decided to
open the deli on the north side of the building (which is an
alternative entrance) which serves the same food during the day. There
is a hologram "kissing booth" where a animated hologram woman blows a
kiss for a quarter, an immense sliding wall puzzle in the restaurant,
and a few other surprises. There is many exciting arcade games like
Strategic Nuclear War, Star Wars, Spy Hunter, etc.. Waitresses tend to
be in elaborate states of dress and undress. The specialty drink of the
house is Spy's Demise.
     DMs are encourage to load up the Safehouse with spies and
government men from television, movies, or the real world.

17. Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh, PA (present, real world)

     The DM can make this any baseball stadium he desires. Three Rivers
Stadium is used here because of Pittsburgh having the Iron City
Brewery.
     The characters find themselves in the stadium. They can be in the
stands, in the dugout, on the field. A great scenario is to have the
characters appear in a vendor uniforms with coolers filled with Iron
City beer.

18. Paul Masons Winery San Jose, CA (present, real world)

     Players get stuck in a tour group at the winery. During the tour
they see modern wine making in action and then get sent to the wine
tasting room for a little nip.

19. Cantina on the planet Tatooine (future, Star Wars)

    The characters have entered a bar in a galaxy, far, far away. They
are in the bar made famous in the Star Wars movie. DM's can have the
players enter the bar at the same time Ben Kanobi and Luke Skywalker
are trying to get Han Solo to fly them off the planet OR the DM can
have them appear at any time during the Star Wars Trilogy (or anytime
during a Star Wars RPG campaign).
     Characters won't be out of place in a location filled with a
multitude of strange races. They could mistake everything for some
Spelljamming place (if familiar with spelljamming) until they see all
the non-magical technology (laser guns, space ships, etc.).
     Great interaction can exist with interaction between the
characters and the Star Wars personalities. Clever DMs can redo the
Star Wars movies with the characters tagging along with Han and Luke.

20. Ten Forward on the Enterprise (future, Star Trek: The Next
    Generation)

     The characters find themselves in Ten Forward on the starship
Enterprise. Unfortunately, the "Intruder Alert" alarm has been set off
by the characters. At this time, the characters will surrounded by
ship's security. Possibly, Guiana may realize that the characters are
from another time and place (possibly another dimension) and will
interrupt to save their hides.
     For high-level characters, the DM may want to have the Borg
attacking the ship at the time of their arrival.
   The DM is referred to The Complete Guide To AD&D Technology and The
Complete Guide To AD&D Star Trek to assist in helping with this place.

21. The Promenade on Deep Space 9 (future, Star Trek: Deep Space 9)

     The characters find themselves on the promenade of the Deep Space
9 space station. Quark, the local proprietor of Quark's Place in the
Promenade, greets the characters and tries to sell them many goods and
services.
     Visit the holo-sweet? Interact with the Starfleet officers? Maybe
the borg are attacking the station?
     The DM is referred to The Complete Guide To AD&D Technology and
The Complete Guide To AD&D Star Trek to assist in helping with this
place.

22-25 Reroll


Lohocla's Cloud of Alcohol (Evocation/Alteration)

Level: 4
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 round / level
Casting Time: 4
Area of Effect: 5 cubic feet / level
Saving Throw: None

      Another powerful offensive spell by Lohocla, this spell creates a
vaporous cloud of pure alcohol. Hopefully, many mages will enjoy
reeking havoc with the sweet aroma of this spell.
     This spell produces a cloud of alcohol that has a very faint blue
tint to it. The cloud gives off a strong scent of alcohol.
     The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round,
rolling along the ground in the original direction dictated by the
caster. A moderate breeze causes it to alter course (roll for
direction), but it does not move back toward the caster. A strong wind
breaks it up in four rounds, and a greater wind force prevents the use
of the spell. Very thick vegetation will disperse the cloud in two
rounds. As the vapors are heavier than air, they sink to the lowest
level of the land, even pour down den or sinkhole openings. It cannot
penetrate liquids, nor can it be cast underwater.
     For each round a creature is engulfed in the cloud, he must make a
Constitution check. The check has a modifier relevant to the mage's level:
          Mage's Level     Constitution Modifier
             07-08                  -04
             09-10                  -05
             11-12                  -06
             13-14                  -07
             15-16                  -08
             17-18                  -09
             19-20                  -10

A successful check indicates that the creature holds his breath for
that round and does not succumb to the cloud's effects. A failed check
indicates that the creature inhales a sufficient quantity of the
gaseous vapors into the lungs. The effects of absorbing gaseous alcohol
through the respiratory system rather than liquid alcohol through the
digestive system is quite dangerous. A person affected by the cloud
enters a state of great intoxication with all the effects that this
entails. The affected person will remain intoxicated for 1d30 rounds
after the duration of the spell. Once the intoxication ends, the victim
will be returned to a normal state (i.e. does not have to slowly
recover from the intoxication). The only possible reminder of the
intoxication would be a hangover effect (as per the rules) if a save
vs. poison is failed.
     If the cloud of alcohol comes in contact with a flame, it
explodes. Anything in the cloud will suffer 2d10+10 points of burn
damage. The explosion will reach out a number of feet equal to five
times half the mage's level. Anything that is in the explosion area of
effect will suffer 1d10+5 points of burn damage. For example, a 10th
level mage casts the spell and creates a 50-cubic-foot cloud that comes
in contact with a candle flame. Anything in the cloud will take 2d10+10
points of burn damage. The explosion will reach anything that is 25
feet away from the cloud which will suffer 1d10+5 points of burn
damage. Unfortunately, the mage was within 10 feet of the cloud and
suffers 8 points of damage. With regards to the fiery explosion, please
note that flammable materials will continue to burn after the explosion
takes place.
     At 10th level, a mage has the option of igniting the cloud. If the
mage opts to do this, casting time is 6 rounds. Upon completion of
casting the spell, the cloud will travel its course until the last
round of the spell's duration. At this point, the cloud is ignited and
explodes as described above.
     At the very low temperature of -170 degrees Fahrenheit, the cloud
of alcohol will freeze solid. There will be few times that the mage
would find himself in such a situation. However, the mage may find
himself in a situation where the temperature drops to below 0 degrees
Fahrenheit. In this case, the cloud of alcohol will begin to turn into
liquid form. The spell is rendered virtually useless as far as it's
combative intent goes. However, the cold liquid form of alcohol may
serve a more important purpose. A lot of pure, smooth alcohol can be
produced for consumption. This spell which seems to be nothing more
than an offensive weapon could perhaps enable alcohol production in
places where grain can't be grown or where fermentation is difficult
due to weather/temperature. Thus, DM's may want to introduce this spell
in an arctic climate as a creative way of producing alcohol. Then, a
player may or may not learn of the spell's full offensive potential.
     Note that the cloud of alcohol disperse once the duration of the
spell ends. However, any liquid or solid forms of the alcohol will
permanently remain after the spell ends.
     The main material component is a finely-crafted glass snifter (a
pear-shaped goblet with a narrow top) which remains after the spell is
cast. Other material components, which are consumed when the spell is
cast, are a pint of pure alcohol and a small ice cube. A mage using the
ignition option must have a pinch of dung from a Milwaukee.


Lohocla's "Shaken Not Stirred" (Alteration)

Level: 4
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 3 rounds + 1 round / level
Casting Time: 6
Area of Effect: 1 creature and 25' foot diameter
Saving Throw: Special

     This spell causes two unrelated effects. The first is a local
tremor of low strength that rumbles the ground around the target. The
shock lasts the duration of the spell. The small quake is dramatic and
startling but does not cause any harm or ill effects. It is intended to
mislead victims into thinking the spell affects multiple persons or a
large area like the earthquake spell.
     The danger of the spell is the second effect that is directed
towards only one person/creature. The target of the spell shakes
violently for the duration of the spell. (Note that this affect is a
separate action from the quake.) The shaking renders the victim
immobile (i.e. no movement, no combat, etc.). If a person/creature
touches the trembling victim at any time, then that person begins to
shake as well for the remainder of the spell. A trembling person
suffers 1d4 points of damage per round. During the last round, a
trembling person must make a saving throw. Failing the save causes the
person to enter comatose state of intoxication for 1d6 hours. Recovery
from this state is as stated in the rules.
     The main material component of this spell is a pint of a martini,
a drink composed of gin (an alcoholic liquor distilled from grain and
flavored with juniper berries), vodka (an alcoholic liquid distilled
from fermented wheat or rye mash, corn, or potatoes), and dry vermouth
(a white wine flavored with aromatic herbs). Other material components
are one olive with a slice of pimento (a mild-flavored red pepper) in
it, and the tail feather from a male chicken (a cocktail). All material
components are consumed once the spell is cast.


Lohocla's Mother-of-All-Burps (Alteration)

Level: 5
Range: 0
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: 10' X 50' X 50' wedge
Saving Throw: Special

     Another odd spell supposedly from Lohocla. Like the spell
Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets, this spell requires the caster to be
intoxicated. Why the caster must be intoxicated is better understood
with this spell given its effect, but it is still a strange
requirement. In any case, Lohocla put much power in this spell in hopes
that drunken mages can still kick some butt in bar-room brawls or
anywhere else.
     An unusual (and disgusting) spell, this spell cannot be cast
unless the caster is under the influence of alcohol (i.e. in a state of
slight, moderate, or great intoxication). Of course, the mage generally
doesn't go adventuring while drunk, so this becomes a big hindrance if
not useless unless the mage is an alcoholic. On the other hand, it can
be a real benefit when the mage goes to a place knowing full well that
he will become intoxicated. Mainly, because the % of spell failure does
not exist in the case of this spell (note that the chance of spell
failure is still there for all other spells). This becomes very
valuable because the mage can get intoxicated, with all the problems it
entails, and always have a memorized spell that will work (especially
when greatly intoxicated when the % chance of spell failure is 100%).
     The burp is in the form of a strong fan-shaped puff of nauseous
vapors (described later) originates from the mage's mouth and moves in
the direction he is facing. The force of this gust of wind (about 30
m.p.h.) is sufficient to extinguish candles, torches, and similar
unprotected flames. It causes protected flames -such as those of
lanterns- to dance widely and has a 5% chance per level of experience
of the caster to extinguish even such lights. It also fans large fires
outward 1d6 feet in the direction of the wind's movement. It forces
back small flying creatures 1d6 X 10 yards and causes man-sized beings
to be held motionless if attempting to move against its force. It slows
larger-than-man-sized flying creatures by 50% for one round. It blows
over light objects, disperses most vapors, and forces away gaseous or
unsecured levitating creatures.
     The burp doesn't have a nice fresh air scent. Instead, it contains
nauseous vapors. Any creature caught within the wedge must roll a
successful saving throw vs. poison or be reeling and unable to attack
because of the nausea for 1d10 rounds. Those who make a successful
saving throw are not effected.
     Anybody caught in the wedge of wind may become deaf because of the
burp. A person becomes totally deaf and unable to hear any sounds. The
victim is allowed a saving throw vs. spell. An affected creature has a
-1 penalty to its surprise rolls unless its other senses are unusually
keen. Deafened spellcasters have a 20% chance to miscast any spell with
a verbal component.
     Nonmagical objects of crystal, glass, ceramic, or porcelain, such
as vials, bottles, flasks, jugs, windows, mirrors, etc. caught in the
burp's force are smashed into a dozens of pieces. Objects weighing more
than one pound per level of the caster are not affected, but all other
objects of the appropriate composition must save vs. crushing blow or
be shattered. Crystalline creatures usually suffer 1d6 points of damage
per caster level to a max. of 6d6, with a saving throw vs. spell for
half damage.
     Don't forgot to say "Excuse me" after the spell is over.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------
             POPULAR & STRANGE ALCOHOLS AMONGST THE WORLDS

                   "You expect me to drink this swill?"

                                                  --- Reid Bluebaugh


     These popular and strange alcohol drinks are usually rare or very
expensive, and therefore aren't found in every establishment. Since,
the larger settlement the better the chance that they can get their
hands on these exotic drinks, the chance of these drinks being
available to customers is increased. If the DM wishes to have a special
drink added to the menu of an establishment, he/she should roll to
randomly decide if a drink can be in the establishment (Table 1,
relative to the size of the settlement), roll to randomly decide what
the drink is (Table 2), or make the decisions instead.


TABLE 1: Chance of Special & Strange Drinks

     Settlement        Population            Chance
     Thorp               20-80                  5%
     Hamlet             100-400                10%
     Village, Wych      600-900                20%
     Town              1500-6500               50%
     City             10000-60000              75%

TABLE 2: The Drinks (1d100 / 2 rounded up)

  1     Absinthe
  2     Aliant
  3     BD 20 20 (Blink Dog 20/20)
  4     Bloody Mary
  5     Brown Mold Beer
  6     Bush Light
  7     Cragg's Flaming Twister
  8     Dornakh
  9     Dragon's Blood
 10     Dragon's Breath
 11     Dwarven Jalepeno Wine
 12     Dwarven Thrower
 13     Dwutharian Brandy
 14     The Flaming Amigo
 15     Glempe'
 16     Green Slime Wine
 17     Jolly Dwarf (J.D.)
 18     Klatchian Coffee
 19     Lycanthrope Moonshine
 20     Mages' Brew
 21     Minotaur Malt Liquor
 22     Obliviax Wine
 23     O.D.B.
 24     Pulgue
 25     Red Righettini Fungus Beer
 26     Rocgut
 27     Sake
 28     The Silver Wolf
 29     Sparking Wine
 30     Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster
 31     The Utter Moron
 32     Whimsy Wine
 33     Yellow Mold Beer
 34     Zombie Killer
35-50   ROLL AGAIN (room is left on the table for future additions)


Name: Absinthe
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent

Description: An alcoholic liqueur flavored with wormwood, an aromatic
plant that provides nice flavor and color to absinthe. "Madness and
death are not things to which I aspire." is a common saying to those
that refuse absinthe. Absinthe is highly toxic to the nervous system
causing madness and death. Most regions make absinthe illegal because
of its great danger.

Game Effects: A character who becomes greatly intoxicated from absinthe
must make a save vs. poison. Failure cause insanity. Roll 1d10 on the
following for the insanity:

     1-7  Roll on Types of Insanity Table on page 83 of the DMG, 1st
          edition.

     8-9  Roll on Insanities Table 1 in the Sexual Insanity section
          of The Complete Guide to AD&D Sex.

      10  The insanity is chosen by the DM.

Furthermore, the character's Amount Level becomes 8 and Drinking Level
becomes 5.
     If not healed by neutralize poison, heal, and cure disease then
the character will find himself dead in 3d6 days.


Name: Aliant
Type: Wine
Made By: Gnomes
Quality: Excellent

Description: A dry wine made by the gnomes of the Cairn Hills of Oerth.
This wine is produced from berries of the Alia plant, a plant exclusive
to the Cairn Hills. Each Alia plant will produce at most a forth of a
gallon of berries. One hundred grams of berries will produce one gallon
of Aliant.
     After a laborious process, which is kept in strict secrecy by the
Cairn gnomes, the blue wine is aged. The longer the wine ages, the
paler it gets, and the more dangerous it becomes.

Game Effects: Any gnome can drink the stuff with impunity - it is a
excellent, rare wine which they covet above all others. Gnomes will not
suffer the intoxicating effects of alcohol. To any non-gnome, Aliant is
a potent neuro-toxin. Any non-gnome drinking a cup of the wine will
automatically go into a great level of intoxication and will suffer the
penalties as described in the rules.


Name: BD 20/20 (Blink Dog 20/20)
Type: Wine
Made By: Humans
Quality: Normal

Description: Nicknamed "Blink Dog 20/20" by locals, BD 20/20 is touted
by its 'connoisseurs' as "grape squeezins with a kick". This less than
remarkable wine is the poorman's drink (at only 5 cp per cup) of
Kynesboro, the small district in Karameikos where it is produced.
Though the secret of its making has been well kept by clans Beryl and
Darnsen (thus BD), it is said to be a medium-dry white wine "enhanced"
with a particular combination of herbs and "other ingredients" found in
the locale of Kynesboro town.

     The manufacture of BD 20/20 takes only about 2 weeks, with average
press-to-shelf time of one month. If kept in well-sealed barrels and
stored under proper conditions, the flavor will become stronger, and
the eventual effects more immediate.

Game Effects:  Only when Great Intoxication is reached do the effects
(and the significance of BD 20/20's nickname) become apparent. When
great intoxication is reached, the character drinking must save vs. his
or her Dexterity. Success results in no adverse effects THAT ROUND. A
roll against Dexterity is required each round that the character
continues to drink. Failure to save results in the following effect:
for 2d6 rounds, objects in the character's gaze will seem to (but
really don't) blink for a distance of 4d6 inches in a random (or DM's
chosen direction). This effect will probably be first noticed when the
character reaches for his/her cup. A direction table is given below,
but DM's choice often lends more humor to the situation.






     Random Blink Table (d10)

     1 or 6  Forward (away from character)
     2 or 7  Back    (toward character)
     3 or 8  Left
     4 or 9  Right
     5 or 10 Straight Up (most fun!)

This effect applies not only to small objects, but to doorways, and
even (heh heh..) combat opponents. This confers a -4 to hit and -2 to
all saves while the effect lasts. The adverse effects of BD 20/20 last
2d6+1 rounds, after which the character passes out. The effects do not
occur if the character immediately stops drinking and retires for a
minimum of 5 hours. Of course, the character will remember nothing of
his actions/escapades while under the effects of BD 20/20... ("I did
WHAT?!?!?!?!?")


Name: Bloody Mary
Type: Liquor
Made By: Any
Quality: Excellent

Description: A very exotic and somewhat evil drink, a Bloody Mary
contains strange, rare, and usually illegal ingredients: pure tomato
juice, rare Tabasco sauce (a spicy additive with the main ingredient
being red peppers), the blood of a virgin female, vodka.
     Rumor has it that the Bloody Mary is the favored alcohol drink of
vampires. Whether true or not, few pale-skinned people will drink a
Bloody Mary after dusk. No use raising any eyebrows and ensuing a lynch
mob.

Game Effects: While not magical separately, the ingredients when
combined to make a Bloody Mary creates an odd magical effect. For every
serving of a Bloody Mary consumed, the drinker has a cumulative 5%
chance of attracting a vampire. A check for attracting a vampire is
made every hour until a vampire shows up or the drinker becomes sober.
Thus, after five servings of a Bloody Mary, there is a 25% chance of
attracting a vampire each hour. Of course, there is little to worry
about if there is daylight out unless the drinker doesn't sober up
before dusk.


Name: Brown Mold Beer
Type: Beer (ale forms exist)
Made By: Humans, Dwarves
Quality: Normal

Description: Beer made from Brown Mold is usually safe to drink. There
is nothing that can be considered extremely dangerous about the mold
once a Cure Disease spell has been cast on it. The beer has a strong
malted taste. What is special about this beer is that it is always
cold 40 degrees Fahrenheit). This beer will stay cold forever, even in
the hottest climates. For this reason some tavern owners will keep some
of the beer and use it as a primitive form of refrigeration. For some
reason when this mold is fermented it retains its cold nature.
     To make Brown Mold Beer, the brewery must obtain some live mold.
This means finding a way to transport the mold without it absorbing all
the heat from whoever is transporting the mold. A container made from
the hide of Draco Rigidus Frigidus (White Dragon) would be the best.
With enchanted hides from a Winter Wolf being adequate. Before
fermentation the mold must be killed. The most efficient way to kill
the mold is to cast a Cure Disease spell on it. Then the mold should
ferment normally. The Cure Disease spell should stop the cold
absorption that allows the mold to grow. Sometimes if the spell does
not work correctly (25%) the liquid will freeze after it is poured from
the bottle.

Game Effects: Normal.


Name: Bush Light
Type: Beer
Made By: Elves
Quality: Excellent

Description: This light beer is the most popular beer amongst elven
folk. In fact, this is considered the only other acceptable alcoholic
drink next to wine. The main reason for its popularity is that Bush
Light tastes great but is less filling.

Game Effects: Elves get a bonus of +3 to any intoxication checks when
drinking Bush Light. Half-elves get a +1 bonus. An elf or half-elf that
drinks only Bush light will not suffer the effects of a hangover.


Name: Cragg's Flaming Twister (#7)
Type: Liquor
Made By: Half-Ogre
Quality: Excellent

Description: A strange brew indeed created by Cragg, a crazy half-ogre
bartender. Cragg is ugly and stupid but incredibly strong. He had a
successful adventuring career but has retired to become a part-time
bartender. Some refer to this drink as #7, a name given to it because
no one has drunk more than seven Cragg's Flaming Twisters in one
sitting. This record is of course held by Cragg. (He was drunk out of
his mind for days.)

The ingredient's are as followed:

     1   ounce      whimsy water
     3   drops      troll's blood
     0.5 ounces     bourbon
     0.5 ounces     grain alcohol
     1   ounce      potion of speed
     1   ounce      potato liquor (vodka)

Game Effects: A system shock roll (separate from any other check made
for drinking) is made each time a drink is taken. A failed check means
the imbiber falls flat on his face, smashed out of his mind for 2d6
hours, and takes 1 point of damage per hour until a remove poison spell
is cast on him or he wakes up. A successful roll means he heals at
twice his normal rate for 1-3 days. Only one drink (dose) has this
beneficial effect at a time. Thus, a player can not misuse this item by
letting the character continue to drink it and benefit by the healing
powers.


Name: Dornakh
Type: Liquor
Made By: Goblins
Quality: Poor

Description: This liquor is a favorite of goblinkind and their half-
breed kin who distill this most strange and potent liquor. Civilized
races view this drink as a distorted form of whiskey. It is dull red in
color with a harsh metallic aftertaste and a potent kick (alcohol
content about 70%). Basically it is whiskey flavored with blood, 
traditionally that of mountain eagles. It is reputed that some 
distillers add other more sinister flavors.

Game Effects: The recovery time from intoxication is doubled due to the
potency of this foul liquor.


Name: Dragon's Blood
Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Normal

Description: The drink is said to have an interesting taste, similar to
liquid fire. Ale quenches the burning sensation somewhat, water makes
it worse. The kicker to all of this is that it is highly intoxicating.
One legend describes a dwarf who was the only one who could handle the
stuff because of having a supernatural tolerance for alcohol (indeed
that is all that she drank). However, four glasses of Dragon's Blood
had her blind staggering drunk.
     Dragon's Blood costs 100 gp per glass and 1000 gp per bottle. The
glasses it is served in are small shot glasses, and the bottle is not
very big. Usually the glasses and bottle are made of very dark glass.

Game Effects: After consuming one glass of Dragon's Blood, the consumer
automatically goes into a state of great intoxication. The cumulative
penalty for the saving throw vs. poison is -3 instead of -1. The
cumulative chance of permanently lowering constitution is 10% instead
of 5%.


Name: Dragon's Breath
Type: Liquor (Mixed)
Made By: Humans
Quality: Very Good

Description: A popular mixed drink at Red Dragon's Tavern was
originally created by the tavern's owner Bicardi. Bicardi is best known
in other regions as the distiller of Bicardi's Rum 151. The 151 is
derived from the number of attempts it took Bicardi to perfect his rum.
The main ingredient in Dragon's Breath is Bicardi's Rum 151. Other
ingredients are Tabasco (a spicy sauce) and hot apple cider (hard cider
preferred).
Name: Dwarven Jalepeno Wine
Type: Wine
Made By: Dwarfs
Quality: Very Poor

Description: For Dwarven Jalepeno Wine, alcohol content is pretty high,
somewhat like Port wine (about 18% alcohol), and it is similar to
drinking Tabasco sauce. The hard part of drinking the wine is getting
it down.
     One adventurer writes about his group and their encounter with
this potent wine: "On our first time meeting the dwarves we were asked
if we wanted something to drink. The elf said yes, wine if possible.
The dwarves grinned and gave us each a glass of D.J. wine. The elf
gulped in down with ease (rolled a "1" on his check). The dwarves were
very impressed, so impressed that they eventually adopted him as an
honorary clan member. That's right, an elf in a dwarven clan. Who would
of thought. Anyhow, we were all given complimentary bottles upon
leaving. What a great time."

Game Effects: The character must make a Constitution check to get the
first glass/drink down. If successful, he/she never has to do so again.
If it fails, he/she can not drink the stuff at that time. He/she can
try again on another occasion but must make the check with a cumulative
-2 penalty.


Name: Dwarven Thrower
Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Excellent

Description: The Dwarven Thrower (or just Thrower for Dwarves) is a
mixture of several types of Dwarven liquors. It is so popular that it
is sold premixed in all establishments of those run by Dwarves. Some
clans even have a rite of passage that includes the Thrower.
     Whenever a Dwarf comes of age many clans have a party. In some
clans it is customary to have the celebration by drinking many
Throwers. Then the imbiber is quickly helped up and rushed outside.
Many clans believe that the quantity of the stomach's contents as well
as the force and distance to which they are flung are indicative to
what station they will achieve and how long they will live. (YUCK !!!)

Game Effects: Any one drinking the Dwarven Thrower does not feel any
effects as long as they are sitting down. However, once they stand, the
imbiber must make all checks as per effects table. The imbiber then
precedes to the appropriate state within 1-4 rounds. Upon reaching a
great state of intoxication, Dwarves do not need to make a saving throw
vs. poison. Instead, they have 1-6 rounds before they violently vomit.
Other races make normal checks per tables.


Name: Dwutharian Brandy
Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Excellent

Description: A superior brandy made exclusively by the Dwutharian clan
of dwarves. The process for making Dwutharian Brandy is long,
complicated, tedious, and secret. One item is known: the brandy is
stored for 500 years before it is considered ready.

Game Effects: Normal effects, but smooooooooooooooooooooth.


Name: The Flaming Amigo
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Very Poor (an acquired taste)

Description: A dangerous drink indeed. The ingredients tell it all:

     2 oz. dark rum*               2 oz. light rum*
     2 oz. 150 proof rum*          2 oz. vodka*
     2 oz. whiskey*                2 oz. tequila*
     2 oz. sweet vermouth*         2 oz. dry vermouth*
     2 oz. gin*                    5 oz. red dragon blood
     1 oz.  bat guano (crushed)    1 oz. red peppers (crushed)

                                                  * or an equivalent

     Everything is mixed together into a wooden mug and served with a
tinderbox. All of the more experienced patrons of the bar start moving
away when the novice drinker orders this drink. The bartender moves
away after mixing the drink and tells the "victim", from the far end of
the bar, to light the drink...

Game Effects: There is a 5% chance that the drink will explode the
moment it is lit causing 1d3 points of damage to the character lighting
the drink and anyone within 5 feet. If it doesn't the character must
drink it the moment it lights. The character must make a constitution
check with a -2 above any other adjustments or he passes out on the
floor instantly.
     A character will take one hit point of damage every time he drinks
this drink unless he makes a saving throw versus poison.
     If a character doesn't pass-out, this is a great drink to show off
how tough he is.


Name: Glempe'
Type: Wine
Made By: Humans (Nomads)
Quality: Good (Acquired Taste)

Description: Glempe' was created by a Chinese/Mongolian/Arabian-type
nomads. The nomads are equivalent to Mongols, except that they are
basically ethnic Chinese who were forced to live in a harsh desert.
The nomads are basically shepherds who depend on their herds of horses
for transport. The liquor evolved from a lack of grain, fruit, and
other traditional bases for alcohol. Glempe' is fermented goat's milk.
     Glempe' is loved by all of the nomads, and a pot of Glempe' is
usually carried with those who travel into the outside world (which is
the Land of Karadu, as created by Tom Linkenback).
     Similar to Glempe' is Carsmacos, fermented mare's milk (from Barry
Hughart's Story of the Stone book).

Game Effects: Nomads are able to consume great quantities with no
apparent ill effects (except for inebriation), but many gaijin (the
average Karaduian) fall violently ill after one taste. Elves seem to
react very negatively to the drink, perhaps because of their weaker
Constitutions.


Name: Green Slime Wine
Type: Wine
Made By: Drow (originally)
Quality: Excellent

Description: This very rare wine is made by using the remains of a
small Green Slime. This can be either a white or a red wine. The wine
will have a green tinge if its is a red wine. It will have a strong
green color if the base wine was white. If correctly done the wine will
have a leafy and not a moldy or mossy taste. One of the attractions of
this wine is that it could still be dangerous. There are stories of
persons turning into a Green Slime after drinking this wine. It was
later found that the wine had not been properly treated.
     It is rumored that the Drow were the first to prepare this wine.
Drinking the Green slime wine was a test of bravery and faith to the
Drow. The secrets were brought to the surface world by a group of
adventurers. During their adventures they raided a Drow encampment that
had a copy of the instructions for making the wine. Ever since then
this wine has become very popular among the thrill seekers of the upper
world. The skill and danger involved in the creation of this wine makes
it one of the most expensive wines to buy.
     To make Green Slime wine you must locate and transport a portion
of live Green Slime. Enchanted glass vials seems to be the most
dependable container available to adventurers. Once a sufficient amount
of Slime has been collected it must be added live to the wine
base at the three week mark. Immediately after adding the Green Slime a
cure disease spell must be cast on the wine to kill the slime. For some
reason when adding the Green Slime to the wine it becomes somewhat
magic resistant. There is a ten percent (10%) chance of the spell
failing. So a winery that tries to cut corners by hiring a low level
spell caster may be taking a big risk. There is not always a way to
know if the spell worked or not since putting the Slime in the wine can
sometimes make the Slime go dormant. Now if nothing has gone wrong with
the batch it should ferment normally until done. At the end of the
fermentation period it is always a good idea to cast cure poison spell
on the wine just incase some noxious poisons formed during the
fermentation process. There is still a ten percent (10%) chance that
the spell will fail. This is why the Green Slime Wine is one of the
most dangerous wines to drink in most worlds. If you are not convinced
read below.
     If the Green Slime Wine is contaminated for some reason it will
have a number of different effects depending on what caused the
contamination. If the slime was not killed when it was added to the
wine it will continue to grow consuming the wine and the cask and then
it will be lose in the winery. This will not usually be a problem for
characters unless they are hired to dispatch this new grown Slime. If
the Slime was killed but produces poison in the wine then the character
drinking the wine must save vs. poison or die. If the slime was simply
made dormant by the wine once in a stomach it will come alive and
consume its host body creating a new Green Slime. In this case there is
very little hope of survival for the character. If the slime was killed
and did not create poison there is still a slim chance, about five
percent (5%), that spores from the Slime will germinate in the
drinkers stomach. This creates the most dramatic effect of a bad batch
of wine. The first round after taking a drink of spore contaminated
wine the character will start by having an upset stomach, mostly cramps
and dry heaves. On the second round the Slime will have germinated and
start to consume the stomach acids. This will case the character will
suffer severe cramps and may cause convulsions. The third round will
have the slime taking hold of the stomach lining. This will cause hit
point damage of about 10% of the characters total hit points. The
character must make a systems shock roll or die. On the fourth round
the character must save vs. death or die, a save will inflict damage up
to 50% of the characters remaining hit points. The fifth round the
character will have horrible stomach cramps and will lose control of
bodily functions. At this point the Slime is moving into the important
bodily organs. The character must save vs. death or die, if the
character saves he/she loses 50% of remaining hit points. On the sixth
round Green Slime will start to come through the skin and has spread to
most of the important organs. The character must save vs. death or die,
if the character makes the saving throw she/he must make a systems
shock roll or die. The character should now be down to 1 hit points.
For the seventh round, and each round after until the character dies or
is cured, he/she must save vs. death and make a systems shock roll to
survive. Also every other round the character's constitution will be
lowered by one point. This also increases the chance of death. These
constitution points can be recovered if the Slime is killed and the
proper curative spells are cast on the character. The character will
now be at zero hit points (0 h.p.). If you are using the negative h.p.
rules continue to inflict hit point damage until death. Once death has
occurred, the character has become a Green Slime and only a wish spell
or divine intervention can save the Character.
     Ingesting a Green Slime or its spores is a horrible way to die and
the only way to prevent death is by casting certain spells before time
runs out. By the second round cure poison will still save the
character. By the fourth round cure disease with cure poison will save
the character. By the sixth round only remove curse with cure disease
will save the character. After the seventh round only a wish spell
could save a character. By then to much of the characters original
tissue has been corrupted by Green Slime. Without the wish spell
nothing will save the character. A regeneration spell will not work
because so much of the characters original tissue has been
contaminated. This also includes rings of regeneration, but the ring
will keep the character at zero hit points for one turn only. After
that the ring of regeneration will have no other value it will be as if
acid had been used on the body.

Game Effects: Normal except special effects listed above.

Name: Jolly Dwarf (J.D.)
Type: Liquor
Made By: Dwarves
Quality: Excellent

Description: The most popular and best straight whiskey in Oerth. Jolly
Dwarf is made by the dwarf clan Daniels.

Game Effects: Normal.


Name: Klatchian Coffee
Type: Coffee
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent

Description: The residents of the desert kingdom of Klatch on the
Discworld brew this wonderful coffee. Klatchian coffee allows the
Klatch people to drink powerful liquors (the highly-distilled-spirit of
the kingdom is called Ourakh, but has effects much like any other
concentrated alcoholic beverage with lots of vile contaminants).
     The coffee causes the drinker to become knurd: it sends him/her
off to the opposite effect of his/her inebriation. The coffee is
consumed in small, small sips from small, small cups in its native
land. The degree of cold rationality it instills is quite horrific to
the ordinary individual.

Game Effects: Totally cancels drunkenness, some forms of insanity (at
GM option), and many aspects of the Chaotic alignment.


Name: Lycanthrope Moonshine
Type: Liquor
Made By: Lycanthropes
Quality: Good

Description: This distilled whiskey is a popular amongst lycanthropes,
although each type of lycanthrope (i.e. werewolf, werebear, etc.) has
their own particular brand. Interestingly, Lycanthrope Moonshine has a
pure white color to it. Just as fascinating is the fact that
Lycanthrope Moonshine will actually glow on nights of a full moon.
This peculiar liquor is quite tasteful and thus popular among normal
people even with the possible strange side effects (see below).
     Although the process for making Lycanthrope Moonshine is unknown,
some rumors have arisen. Supposedly, one ingredient is the blood of a
lycanthrope. Also, it can only be made on nights of a full moon, and
the essence of the moon is actually captured into the brew.

Game Effects: After consuming a serving of this liquor, the character
has a 5% chance of becoming infected with the lycanthrope disease. This
chance is cumulative. Thus, after Rath consumes five servings of
Lycanthrope Moonshine (Werewolf), he has a 25% of contacting the
lycanthrope disease of a werewolf. As one can see, the type of
lycanthrope that the character can become is dependant on the
particular brand of Lycanthrope Moonshine. The chance of becoming a
lycanthrope starts over after the character becomes sober. Thus, Rath
quits drinking for the night, sobers up the next day, and goes to drink
some more Lycanthrope Moonshine, and after his first serving this night
he only has a 5% chance of becoming a werewolf.


Name: Mages' Brew
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans and some elves
Quality: Very Good to Excellent

Description: Mages' Brew is a potent drink, capable of putting even the
strongest of drinkers under the table with just a few drinks.
Spellcasters have a great deal of immunity to the effects of this
drink. Naturally, Mages' Brew is a favorite of many spellcasters.
     There are several varieties of Mages' Brew, all having different
tastes and colors. Some types of Mages' Brew have been created to look
and taste like other alcoholic beverages. Many kinds of wines and
liquors have Mages' Brew "duplicates", so that spellcasters can look
like they are drinking as much as everyone else, but remain in control.

Game Effects: When a wizard (or any spellcaster, at the DM's option)
drinks some Mages' Brew, he/she must make a saving throw versus poison.
If the save is successful, the spellcaster is unaffected by the drink;
no Constitution check for intoxication is required for that glassful.
If the saving throw is failed, the Constitution check is made with only
a -1 penalty (non-spellcasters still have a -5 penalty).
     One unusual side effect of the brew is that if any spellcaster
rolls two or more 1's on the poison check, and eventually becomes
greatly intoxicated at that sitting, one spell that is currently
memorized will be altered. Most alterations are merely cosmetic (color
changes in the spell's effect, or different verbal components), but on
rare occasions (1% chance) the spell in memory will become something
significantly different. All alterations are up to the DM. Wizards and
bards are able to write this spell down, for later re-memorization and
casting. The spellcaster is always able to re-learn the original spell.
If one of their spells is changed, specialists will always have a spell
in their specialty school altered. The new spell is always the same
level of the one it replaces. Because of the strange nature of this
drink, it is not possible for a mage to get drunk for the sole purpose
of trying to create a new spell.
     Mages' Brew was developed by alchemists, ages ago. However, the
creation of Mages' Brew requires neither magical nor alchemical skills,
so it can be made by anyone. Mages almost never make Mages' Brew for
themselves (since it requires no magic to prepare). The secret to
creating Mages' Brew is usually well-guarded by those who know it,
simply because its creation is one thing a "common brewer" can do, but
a mighty mage cannot.


Name: Minotaur Malt Liquor
Type: Beer
Made By: Humans
Quality: Good

Description: This malt liquor beer is very popular amongst rough and
tumbled adventurers. Of course, the reason is that it has a high
alcohol content for beer and adventurers like to booze it up. The name
symbolizes the hardiness of the brew. One popular advertisement is "Get
Minotaur Malt Liquor, theres no bull about it".
     Not to much is known about the brewing process, but something
special must happen given the rumors of possible side effects.

Game Effects: If a character enters a state of great intoxication due
to Minotaur Malt Liquor and fails to make his/her save vs. poison,
he/she slowly becomes a Minotaur instead of permanently losing a
Constitution point. The transformation occurs over a period of one
month. After which, the character becomes a full-fledged minotaur and
acts thusly. The DM must decided how the transformation should take
place. Some possibilities are slowly giving the character abilities,
attributes, and features of a minotaur so it isn't obvious at first.


Name: Obliviax Wine (Memory Moss Wine)
Type: Wine
Made By: Humans, Elves
Quality: Normal

Description: This wine is very special. If the wine was properly
fermented, the drinker will acquire the memories of whatever was most
recently close enough to have its memories absorbed by the Memory Moss.
The drinker will understand any spells absorbed. The character will be
able to describe the spell, but will not be able to cast the spell
unless the person was already a spell caster of the appropriate class.
None of the memories will be retained permanently. The memories will
fade within 1d4 days. The moss is not poisonous and must simply be
killed to be added to the fermenting grape base.
     The DM must decide what kind of memories have been taken by the
Memory Moss. Were they the memories of the person who killed it? The
memories could be that of a passing animal or monster. There is a very
slight chance that the memories could be of a very evil monster or
demon. The memories could also be those of an adventurer who was
returning to recover a large treasure horde or they could be the
memories of someone trying to recover a lost love. This could be very
interesting and a good way to introduce a new adventure to the
characters and a chance for the DM to use his/her imagination.

Game Effects: Normal except for special effects listed above.


Name: O.D.B. (Old Dragon's Breath OR Old Demon's Blood)
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent

Description:

O.D.B. come in two varieties, Old Dragon's Breath and Old Demons Blood,
which are very similar if not indistinguishable. O.D.B. is similar in
taste to real-world Vodka. With one very notable exception. O.D.B. is
magically enhanced to be 300 and 400 proof. Yes, this does mean that
there is 150% to 200% more alcohol than volume. It is safe to drink,
though few bodies can take more than two shots in a night. An
interesting quality of such an alcohol strong liquor is that it is not
very flammable.

Game Effects: A character automatically fails all Constitution checks
as they pertain to alcohol because of the potency of O.D.B..


Name: Pulgue
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Poor

Description: Pulgue is a fermented drink of the desert. It is made from
the juice of a cactus plant called agave. It isn't the best drink in
the world, but a person's options are limited the desert. Not to many
taverns are found scattered amongst the sand dunes.

Game Effects: Normal.


Name: Red Righettini Fungus Beer
Type: Bock Beer
Made By: Deep Dwarves
Quality: Average

Description: A forgotten tribe of dwarves living in a cavern complex
under Mt. Iridium spent years figuring out how to make beer without
sunlight. No sunlight, no barley. Dwarves without beer is unthinkable -
so one dwarf, Clackrock the Bold, developed a sort of brew out of
fungus (called Righettini). Red Righettini Fungus Beer tastes like an
odd beer, but has a fair flavor. It is a heavy, rich, strange red hue,
bock-type beer. It is typically served in heavy granite mugs usually
with a small, magical ruby that keeps the brew cool. The dwarves refer
to Red Righettini Fungus Beer as just "beer" because they know no other
type. This could change if a hearty band of adventurers open up an
alcohol trade with the deep dwarves.
     The best effect of Red Righettini Fungus Beer is that one dreams
in highly vivid colors. The worst effect is severe hangovers and the
possibility of becoming allergic.

Game Effects: Red Righettini Fungus Beer causes severe hangovers.
Therefore, the player must roll a 1d20 rather than 1d100 when getting
the hangover effects.
     There is a cumulative .1% possibility of a permanent allergic
reaction after each drink. Thus, a character who has had 10 drinks in a
lifetime will have a 1% possibility of becoming allergic. A character
who has had 1000 drinks of this beer will have 100% possibility and
therefore is automatically allergic to it.


Name: Rocgut
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Very Poor

Description: An inn in the city of Verbosh is named the Red Roc Inn,
and inside all the furnishings are constructed from the body of a roc
that the bartender slew. His roc slaying sword is on display above the
counter, and the counter itself is supported by the roc's feet. The
main drink at this establishment is suitably named Rocgut.
     Rocgut is a very, very, very, potent brew. More potent and foul
than even the dwarven battlerager's brew, which is made from fermented
goats milk and horrid herbs. Even dwarves are effected easily by this
brew.
     Rocgut is made from the bodily fluids of the slain roc. The brew
consists of blood, brain fluid, saliva, urine and a host of other
fluids to be found within the body. Added to this is camel's milk and
selected herbs, the brew is left to ferment, then it is ready to
served.
     The inn only has one large keg of the stuff, for another roc has
not been found to make more, and so it is an extremely expensive drink
Keep in mind only one cup is needed. The drink is best skulled (gulped,
chugged) as sipping at the mixture only causes nausea, vomiting, and
mild hallucinations.

Game Effects: When a cup of Rocgut is skulled, the following happens.
To the observer, it appears that the drinker's face goes bright green,
then incredibly pale, then swells red with blood, then returns to
normal. His eyes are opened wide, and his body goes rigid. He then
shakes uncontrollably, screams horribly, then passes out for the rest
of the evening. Without a successful system shock a point of
Constitution is lost.
     The drinker is suddenly presented with a couple of effects. The
first is that he sees everything around him, and everybody, as it truly
is. All masks, assumptions, illusions, etc. are stripped away. All the
illusions of life are removed (a truly enlightening and very, very,
terrifying experience).
     The second is that the drinker realizes his place in the order of
things... he sees how infinitesimally small he is in the great scheme
of things, which is an overload for the brain, as people are
essentially selfish creatures.
     Finally, the drinker undergoes intense sensory hallucinations, in
which he sees his greatest fear in front of him, whatever it is. One
character who drank it had the hallucination of his mother-in-law with
bags for a two weeks stay. Then he passes out.
     Needless to say, it is usually a drink only enjoyed once in a
lifetime.


Name: Sake
Type: Beer
Made By: Humans
Quality: Normal

Description: Sake is an odd beer brewed from rice and served hot. It is
made by the humans of Kara-Tu and is the most popular drink in that
land.  The novelty of the beer and the source from which it comes makes
it an expensive drink in other lands. Sake has an alcoholic content
from 14 to 16 percent.

Game Effects: Normal.


Name: The Silver Wolf
Type: Water
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent

Description: This exotic distilled water is made from the blood of
wolves and enchanted holy or unholy water. It is usually contained in a
small silver cup, carved with a symbol of a wolf howling at the moon.
The water itself looks like normal clear water, with a slight pinkish
tint.

Game Effects: When drunk, the drinker is filled with images of various
wolfish scenes, including various combat. After the hallucinations are
finished, in 1d6 rounds, the drinker now has the instincts of wolves,
including quickness and hunting (+1d6 to Strength, +2d4 to Dexterity,
+1d4 Constitution, increased sense of sight and smell). This can lead
to armies drinking this liquid and fighting other armies, being very
victorious. The instincts wear off after about 2d6 rounds, where the
drinker is then intoxicated for the next 5 days. The Silver Wolf costs
usually around 100 gold pieces to 1000 gold pieces, depending on the
wealth of the town.


Name: Sparking Wine (or Shocking Wine)
Type: Wine
Made By: Humans
Quality: Excellent

Description: This excellent white wine has one special property that
makes it unique. Not only does it seem to anyone who looks at it that
it has an electric look to it, this drink has a small electric charge.
When a person takes a drink there is a 50% chance of them receiving a
small electric shock that does no damage. But it is enough of a shock
to disrupt concentration and cause the person to reach for their lips.
There are actually two types of this wine. One is made from enchanted
grapes and the other has a portion of Living Web sprinkled in the
fermenting wine. The wine made from the magical grapes can never
generate enough spark to harm anyone. But the wine made from the Living
Web can have a lethal affect. Because even though the Web is dead it
retains its ability to store electricity. Unless extreme caution is
used in storing the wine it can absorb more than a small electrical
charge. There is a 20% chance that the wine has absorbed enough
electricity to harm the drinker. For those 20% then roll 1d6 to see how
much damage occurs. On a roll of 1-3: 1 h.p. damage occurs. On a 4-5:
1d6 h.p. of damage occurs. On a roll of 6: 2d4 points of damage are
possible. This wine has the possibility of being quite a shocker.

Game Effects: Normal except special effects listed above.


Name: Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster
Type: Liquor
Made By: <your favorite alien race>
Quality: Exceptional

Description: This exotic drink can only be found at Sun-nova Beach, an
extremely exclusive speakeasy on Cygnus-5. Also available at the time
of purchase is literature informing the customer of financing options,
and a list of organizations that can help the customer rehabilitate
afterwards.
     The recipe for the GargleBlaster has been passed down for years at
the 'Beach from one bartender to the next. The legend goes something
like:

     First pour in the juice of a bottle of the Ol' Manx Spirit, then
     add a measure of water from the Seas of Santraal V (Oh, that
     Santraal seawater! Oh, those Santraal fish!). Allow 3 cubes of
     Mantovin Mega-Gin to melt into the mixture (make sure it's
     properly iced, or the benzine will be lost!). Allow 2 1/2 litres
     of swamp gas to filter thru, and, over the back of a spoon, float
     a measure of Algorian Mega-Mint, reminiscent of the Algor
     Regions...  sweet, subtle and mystic. Finally, add the tooth of a
     Rakasta, watching it dissolve, spreading the red flames of the
     Second Sun deep into the heart of the concoction. Add an olive.
     Drink... but...veeerrrryyy carefully.....

Game Effects: The effects of a Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster
have been likened to having your brains bashed out by a slice of lemon
wrapped around a platinum brick. Upon completion of the drink, the
character will have attained a state of Great Intoxication. A save vs.
Constitution will allow him/her to be escorted (dragged) to a sleeping
spot. ANY other action will result in violent illness (1 or 2 on 1d4)
or unconsciousness (3 or 4). If any additional alcohol is consumed
before the character rests, he/she must save vs. Poison or become
comatose. See guidelines for recovery. Stimulants will have no effect
on the recovery time from a GargleBlaster, but a limited wish will cut
the time to half. Upon recovery, the character manifests the
"Three-Spelljamming-PanGalactic-GargleBlaster Smile", which is almost
exemplary of being unsteady...






Name: The Utter Moron
Type: Liquor
Made By: Any
Quality: Excellent

Description: The drink itself is made from the breath of dragons,
bottled and stored for five years, then combined with a mixture of
whiskey and beer (few people know how much of each) which is stored in
an oblong glass container for another five years, where the breath
combines with the liquor causing a reaction. When the breath has
finally soaked in, after five years, the liquid is poured into a small
pipe, which filters out all the thick portions. Then the liquid is
heated until it turns into a solid, where it is sliced into 10 equal
portions and separated for 10 years, where each is conditioned at a
different temperature, 1st at -50 degrees Celsius, 2nd at -40, 3rd at
-30 and so on. Then it is re-combined and frozen to where ice forms on
its brim, and THEN it's ready.

Game Effects: After consuming one drop of the Utter Moron, a person is
then greatly intoxicated and cannot do many menial tasks, including
walking. The person immediately falls to the floor and most likely will
start drooling.
     After consuming two drops of this drink, the person cannot flex
any muscle, and all of them relax. This can lead to many awkward
positions.
     After consuming three drops, the person immediately falls asleep.
After four drops, the person loses all ability to move from the legs
down permanently. After five drops, the person can only move their
neck. After six drops, the person can only move lips, as to make simple
words, forever. After seven drops, the person cannot move at all,
forever. After eight drops, the person dies.


Name: Whimsy Wine
Type: Wine
Made By: N/A
Quality: Excellent

Description: Whimsy Wine was created in the distant past when wild
magic flowed easily from nodes of power. Gradually, the magic was tamed
until the present where only a few pockets of wild magic can be found.
Wherever wild magic and plant life come together at a power node, weird
effects happen. Among other things, intelligent vegetation creatures
are born, portals to far off jungles arise, and fruits ferment into a
strange wine (Whimsy Wine).
     It is rare stuff indeed, but there always seems to be one or two
places here and there where people accidently (usually in outdoor
adventuring) come across it and fall in love with this wonderful
concoction.
     The effects can be most amusing.

Game Effects: One serving automatically places the drinker into a state
of great intoxication.
     Players may drink as much of the wine as they want, but only one
whimsy will effect the players (except where noted). The wine must be
imbibed for the effects to take place. Some effects are immediate, some
take a key to set off (an action, a condition, etc.). Duration of
effects have been noted. Roll 1d30 (an odd die indeed) on the following
table to get the proper effect:





 1  Strength reduced by half for 1d4 days.
 2  Heal 1d6 hit points (not to exceed total hit points).
 3  Fall in love with the next monster of opposite sex encountered;
    lasts 1d4 days.
 4  Hiccups for two days.
 5  Polymorphs into a dragon (DM's choice).
 6  Acute sense of smell for 1d6 day.
 7  Lisp for 1d12 day.
 8  Strength increased by three points for 1d8 days.
 9  Has intense craving for fish; lasts 1d20 days.
10  Attracted to first party member character sees; lasts 1d4  days.
11  Dislikes first party member character sees; lasts 1d4 days.
12  Charisma reduced by five points for 1d12 days.
13  Acute stench for 1d6 days.
14  Automatically turns undead as 8th level cleric for 1d8 days.
15  Drains ten hit points from next person he/she touches.
16  Must possess the next magic item the party finds.
17  Does the hokey-pokey and turns himself/herself around.
18  Immediately sings a ballad at the top of his/her lungs.
19  Next monster encounter will not attack the character.
20  When the word "trap" is said, the character will spin around until
    dizzy.
21  Disappears for 1d6 days into an exotic land of ecstasy.
22  Character will be thirsty until he/she drinks two times again with
    both effects taking place.
23  Immediately can cast a 1st level magic spell without components at
    random; even if not a mage.
24  Falls asleep for 1d12 days.
25  Overcome with passion for the next tree the character sees.
26  Immune to all diseases for one week.
27  Immediately jumps 100 feet straight up and lands without damage.
28  Next weapon/spell use will automatically be successful; plus double
    damage and all victims fail their saves.
29  Irresistible to all members of the opposite sex for 1d20 days.
30  Nothing happens.


Name: Yellow Mold Beer
Type: Beer (Malt)
Made By: Humans, Dwarves
Quality: Normal

Description: There is nothing truly dangerous about beers made from
Yellow Mold. There is a slight chance that if some spores survive the
fermentation process that the drinker will suffer from hallucinations
for 1d4 hours (DM's choice). There is a fifteen percent (15%) chance
that enough spores will survive the process to cause hallucinations, in
one bottle or keg. The mold must be killed without destroying it. This
means that fire based spells or flames can not be used to kill the
mold. Once the mold colony is dead it can be safely transported to the
place of fermentation. The mold is fermented normally and produces a
light tasting and pale beer.

Game Effects: Normal except for special effects listed above.

Name: Zombie Killer
Type: Liquor
Made By: Humans
Quality: Good

Description: House drink of the Bloody Fist (an adventurers' hang out)
served in thick ceramic mugs for 1 GP each - No pitchers will be served
for the health of the customers. Bartenders will not serve more than
six mugs to a single person in one night.
     Zombie Killer is made by fermenting a rare fungus that only grows
on the bodies of defunct zombies. This is a little known fact that is
kept well hidden. The Bloody Fist has an exclusive arrangement with a
temple/monastery that has some rather bizarre beliefs and rituals.
Making Zombie Killer is a profitable side line venture for them that
goes right along with their other activities. This information goes
under the heading:  You are better off not knowing. If players ever get
too curious.

Game Effects: After a person drinks his/her first mug, he/she will gain
one hit point permanently. Subsequent mugs do not have this effect.
     Below are cumulative effects that occur while drinking mugs of
this brew. The DM has the option of adding these effects to those that
would normally occur due to the guide rules or he may only use the
effects that are presented here. Even though the consumer is loosing
intelligence and wisdom, he/she will feel they are improving
attributes.

   1st mug   +1 to INT, -2 to WIS, -1 to hit
   2nd mug   -2 to INT, -1 to WIS, -2 to DEX, -1 to hit
   3rd mug   -1 to INT, -1 to WIS, -3 to DEX, -1 to hit
   4th mug   Save vs. CON or pass out, mild hallucinations start*
   5th mug   Save vs. CON at -4 penalty or pass out, more hallucinat.*
   6th mug   more hallucinations*, pass out upon completion of mug

These effects wear of in 1d4 hours for every mug consumed. There is a
10% chance each drinking time that the character will become mildly
addicted and will need to have 1 glass/week minimum. If he/she can not
get a Zombie Killer, he/she will have very strong cravings (non-
debilitate). If he/she goes six weeks without, the addiction is broken.
But if he/she gets some after being denied for awhile, he/she will
drink them into oblivion.
     * All hallucinations associated with a Zombie Killer are of a
mild, pleasant, and non-threatening variety. People drunk on Zombie
Killer are actually very happy fun people who think they are
discovering all the answers to the questions of the world, they just
can't remember them the next day.
Other drinks that are currently being worked on:

     Demon Spit
     Firewine
     Orc Piss
     Panther Piss

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                        ALCOHOL DRINK ADDITIVES


     Alcohol drink additives are primarily the province of alchemists.
They are not potions because alcohol drink additives are not magical
per se. Key ingredients in the additives are usually magical, but it
doesn't take the manipulation of magic to create the additives.
     As with potions, the character must identify and gather the
materials needed to create the additive before he can begin his work.
The formula can be as straightforward or bizarre as the DM desires.
Each additive does contain some important, key ingredient, but other
ingredients are normal, mundane chemicals of typical of alchemy shops.
The basic cost of these ingredients ranges from 20 to 100 silver
pieces, DM's decision. A small alchemy laboratory will be needed as
well. The basic cost for such a laboratory is at least 100 gold pieces
in large cities where such equipment is typically available. A mere 1%
of the laboratory's value must be paid per month to maintain equipment,
replace broken items, restock minor ingredients that lose potency with
age, etc..
     To make a successful alcohol drink additive, a character must have
the alchemy or bartending non-weapon proficiencies. A character with
the alchemy NWP does not need to make a proficiency check because of
his mastery of alchemy. A character with the bartending NWP needs to
make a proficiency check with a -3 modifier. Failure indicates that the
additive is worthless and the process must start over (i.e. get new
ingredients, etc.).
     Table A lists the alcohol drink additives. A DM can use the table
if he wants to randomly come up with an additive for a treasure horde,
alchemy lab, alchemy shop, etc..

TABLE A: Alcohol Drink Additives

 1   Cooler
 2   Memory Stealer
 3   Pink Sweet Enricher
 4   Rainbow Dust
 5   Something to Remember


Name: Cooler
Texture: Powder
Special Ingredient: Brow Mold

Description: When a small amount of dried powered Brown Mold is added
to any drink it lowers the drinks temperature to around 50 degrees
Fahrenheit. This additive is handy if there is no way to keep the
drinks cold. No one should notice a change in the taste of a drink
since this works on the temperature. A successful check is required of
the bartenders doctor drink skill if the bartender is trying to cover
up the fact that the drink is just now being chilled. The mold powder
must be added before the drink is consumed. It is possible to simply
add the mold if everyone knows what is going on, no proficiency check
would be needed.


Name: Memory Stealer
Texture: Web
Special Ingredient: Memory Web, Living

Description: It is possible, by magic, to drain a memory web so that
when added to a drink it will steal the most powerful memory from the
drinker. This could be a magical spell. Important instructions or
memories of a loved one. It would be up to the DM to decide, and the
possibilities are limitless.
Name: Pink Sweet Enricher
Texture: Powder
Special Ingredient: Pink elephant ivory

Description: This alcohol additive causes any alcohol created from a
fruit to develop a fruitier taste and become excellent in quality no
matter what the quality was before.


Name: Rainbow Dust
Texture: Powder
Special Ingredient: Rainbow

Description: This pinch of bright red powder causes any alcohol to
suddenly sparkle and be filled with various colors, filling the room
with beams of reds, blues, violets, oranges, yellows, greens, and
various other spectacular colors. Occasionally a person might
distinguish some sort of object in the beams, but it is merely a
hallucination. The beams give light as a continual light spell, which
lasts until the potion is consumed.
     When a person drinks a rainbow'd drink he is filled with images of
colors, putting him at rest. It is made from the essence of rainbows,
captured only by leprechauns, and usually costs 500 gold pieces (or it
can be taken from any leprechaun when it is caught). If the essence is
mixed with dust, when it is poured into a drink it will not make any
effect, but when someone drinks the drink, then that person is flooded
with colors and goes insane, and some weak creatures will explode in a
flash of colors.


Name: Something to Remember
Texture: Web
Special Ingredient: Memory Web, Living

Description: When added to a drink this magical web gives the drinker
one short memory. There is almost no limit to what could be remembered,
limited only by the DM's imagination. The memory will never be of a
spell or anything complicated. There is a chance that the memory will
simply be a memory of one of the web's last victims. Which, because the
web is a scavenger, could be the memory of a rat, insect or other lower
life forms.

---------------------------------------------------------------------


              MOONMELONS, MOONSHINE, MOONCREATURES, OH MY!


    (from an old, highly-recommended adventure in DUNGEON magazine)

            (DUNGEON: the best buy T$R makes; check it out)


HISTORY

     Moonmelons were created long ago by a mage attempting to
alchemically alter normal melons into a highly nutritious foodstuff.
The mage hoped to create a melon that would supply an individual with
all nutritional and liquid requirements for an entire day and prolonged
hard work. The mage's attempts failed, and he simply discarded his
failures on a rubbish heap near his laboratory. Most of the
experimental melon pants he created quickly withered away to nothing.
One did not. It was a melon about the size of a small cantaloupe, with
a smooth, yellow and gray piebald rind that when ripe resemble a full
moon. The birds, rats, and other creatures that fed at the mage's heap
ate the discarded melons and, through their droppings, spread
undigested seeds of the moonmelon far and wide.
     The moonmelon's nutritional qualities are somewhat dubious; it is
actually less nutritious than most normal melons. More important, this
melon is known to cause mutations and alterations in the offspring of
any creature partaking of it. At one time, moonmelons were to be found
in nearly every country with a temperate climate. However, because of
their well-deserved sinister reputation, that soon changed. Farmers and
ranchers regard the melons as an extreme nuisance, causing
abnormalities in their livestock and sometimes fierce and odd changes
in the wild creatures near their farms and grazing lands. For the
reason, farmers and ranchers everywhere destroy moonmelon patches as
soon as they are discovered. In heavily farmed and civilized regions
the moonmelon has ceased to exist, with each and every patch hunted
down and put to the torch. Now, moonmelon patches are found only in the
wild or sparsely populated areas. But in spite of this bad reputation,
moonmelons are valuable to those interested in alchemical
experimentation.


MOONSHINE

     A strong and potent moonshine can be brewed from moonmelons. The
same effects of normal moonjuice remain in effect. Plus, some damming
effects of intoxication occur. After consuming a serving of this
substance, a person automatically goes into a state of great
intoxication. Furthermore, ALL ability checks are made at -5 penalty.
In addition, recovery time of this intoxicated drink is quadrupled.
     Moonshine is extremely volatile and flammable, and can be used to
make fire-based attacks or grenade-like missiles (treat as oil on Table
45: Grenade-Like Missile Effects, page 63 of the 2nd edition Dungeon
Master's Guide).


MOONMELON EFFECTS

     A creature who eats any of the meat or rind of a moonmelon or
drinks any of its juice seems to be completely unaffected. However, the
effects of dining on a moonmelon somehow disrupt the normal melon
somehow disrupt the normal reproductive processes at a basic level. All
creatures are affected by moonmelons: birds, mammals, insects,
reptiles, and even oozes, slimes, and molds. The offspring of any
creature affected by moonmelons are universally referred to as
mooncreatures: moonlizards, moonrats, moonbears, moonmen, etc. The
effects of eating moonmelons last but a single generation. The
offspring of mooncreatures are themselves perfectly normal. Thus, a
monkey who ate a moonmelon would have moonmonkeys for children, but the
children of the moonmonkeys would be normal monkeys.
     The effects of the moonmelon are permanent and last the lifetime
of the creature eating it unless magically cured by a heal spell. The
effects remain the same whether only a small portion of a melon is
eaten or if 100 melons are eaten.  not all alterations and changes
caused by moonmelons are negative, but they are all permanent whether
harmful or helpful and cannot be altered by heal spells.
     As moon melon seeds are spread in the droppings of creatures who
eat them, moonmelon patches can appear anywhere. DMs can use moonmelons
to alter almost any monster or creature they wish. Consult the
following tables for the types and kinds of changes caused by
moonmelons. All bonuses and penalties are cumulative. Should any
penalty or bonus result in a fraction, round up all fractions of 1/2 or
more and round down all fractions of less than 1/2.
     DMs are free to change the type of plant involved to suit the
needs of their individual campaigns. Campaigns in heavily forested
environments might  be better served with moonapples, moonberries, or a
generic moonfruit of some kind, while a tropical isle campaign can
contain coconutmoons, etc.. DMs can use virtually any edible plant (of
at least slightly spherical shape) that is indigenous to the campaign
area as the "moonplant".


Size (Roll 2d6)

     If the size of the offspring is increased or decreased, its
appearance remains unchanged. The creature appears to be larger or
smaller version of its parents. However, size can cause penalties or
bonuses with regard to hit points and damage rolls (a smaller creature
has fewer hit points and does less damage per hit, while a larger
creature has more hit points and does more damage).

     2: Mooncreature is half normal size and uses 6-sided rather than
        8-sided hit dice. The mooncreature also suffers a -2 penalty on
        damage rolls.
     3-4: Mooncreature is 3/4 normal size. The creature uses 8-sided
        hit dice with a -1 penalty per hit die. The mooncreature also
        suffers a -1 penalty on damage rolls.
     5-9: Mooncreature is normal size, has normal hit dice, and scores
        normal damage.
     10-11: Mooncreature is 1 1/2 times normal size, uses 10-sided
        rather than 8-sided hit dice. It gains a +1 bonus per hit die
        and a +2 bonus on all damage rolls.


Intelligence (Roll 2d6)

     Intelligence may have a profound effect on a creature's behavior,
or it may have no effect at all. A giant ant may have its intelligence
raised by four points but, being a simple cog in the complex social
machine of the ant colony, its behavior would remain unaltered. On the
other hand, a baboon with this same four-point increase may begin using
weapons or take up farming. DMs should note that offspring of any
creatures that normally have an intelligence greater than zero will not
be able to survive if their intelligence is reduced to zero. Such
mooncreatures are not equipped with the instinctive survival behaviors
and skills of normal non-intelligent beings. Therefore, without these
instinctive safeguards and without their natural intelligence, they are
simply unable to avoid obviously dangerous situations or tale advantage
of beneficial ones.

     2: Intelligence is reduced by four points or to zero, whichever is
        applicable. If the creature normally has zero intelligence, the
        creature suffers a -3 penalty on to-hit rolls.

     3-4: Intelligence is reduced by two points or to zero, whichever
        is applicable. If the creature normally has zero intelligence,
        the creature suffers a -1 penalty on to-hit rolls.

     5-9: Intelligence is within normal range for the type of creature
        involved.

     10-11: Intelligence is raised by two points. Maximum intelligence
        for any mooncreature is 20. DMs should ignore any points beyond
        that total.

     12: Intelligence is raised by four points. Maximum intelligence
        for any mooncreature is 20. DMs should ignore any points beyond
        that total.


Armor Class (Roll 2d6)

     Changes to armor class include any toughening or weakening of the
mooncreature's hide, skin, exoskeleton, or internal skeletal structure
and organs. The DM will have to determine exactly why any specific
creature's armor class is raised or lowered. For example, a creature's
skin may become leathery and tough, or it may become much more supple
and resilient than normal. In either case, the blow of a weapon is now
absorbed without doing a great deal. Or the opposite may be true; the
creature becomes much stiffer and more brittle than normal, causing any
blows to do serious cracking and fracturing damage.

     2: Armor class is penalized by 3. Opponents score double damage
        when using blunt weapons and gain +1 to all damage rolls.

     3-4: Armor class is penalized by 1, and opponents gain a +1 to
        damage rolls.

     5-9: No penalties or bonuses apply.

     10-11: Armor class is increased by 1 and opponents suffer -1
        penalties to damage rolls.

     12: Armor class is increased by 3 and opponents suffer -1
        penalties to damage rolls. Blunt weapons do half damage.


Constitution (Roll 2d6)

     Moonmelons can also affect creature's constitution. Constitution
and size can, in combination, create extremely tough or fragile
creatures. Roll for constitution as directed below, then use the
Constitution Table in the 2nd edition PHB, page 15, to assess penalties
or bonuses. All mooncreatures are treated as warriors on the
Constitution Table.

     2: Roll 1d4 for the constitution.
     3: Roll 1d4+4 for the constitution.
     4-10: Roll 1d4+8 for the constitution.
     11: Roll 1d4+12 for the constitution.
     12: Roll 1d4+16 for the constitution.



Dexterity (Roll 2d6)

     Dexterity bonuses and penalties apply only to those creatures with
measurable dexterity. Movement rate penalties and bonuses apply to any
creature with a movement rate and affect all movement rates applicable
to the creature (flying, swimming, burrowing, in web, etc.). DMs should
note that the initiative bonuses and penalties from this table are
permanent, and are added to or subtracted from the base initiative
rolls before any situational modifiers are used.

     2: Dexterity is 1d4, and movement rate is reduced to 50% of
        normal. All initiative rolls are made as if creature were both
        slowed and hindered (see Table 55: Standard Modifiers to
        Initiative, on page 94 of the 2nd edition PHB.

     3: Dexterity is 1d4+4, and movement rate is only 75% of normal.
        All initiative rolls are made as if creature were both slowed
        (see Table 55 as above).

     4-10: Dexterity and movement rate are normal for the type of
        creature involved. Initiative is rolled normally.

     11: Dexterity is 1d4+12, and movement rate is increased by 25% of
        normal. Initiative rolls are made as if creature were hasted
        (see Table 55 as above).

     12: Dexterity is 1d4+16 but will not exceed 20. Movement rate is
        increased by 50%. All initiative rolls are made as if creature
        were hasted and set to receive a charge (see Table 55 as
        above).


Oddities (Roll 1d100)

     Moonmelons cause completely unpredictable changes in a creature's
appearance and structural form. When any mooncreature is encountered,
the DM should roll once on this table to determine if the mooncreature
has any noticeably odd characteristics. If the number rolled is not
applicable to the creature involved (such as extra limbs or eyes for a
creature that has no limbs or eyes), the DM can either choose an
appropriate oddity from the table, roll again, or consider the roll
shows no noticeable oddities.

     01-15: No noticeable oddities.
     16-35: Radically different coloration of fur, hide, skin,
        feathers, etc.. These color changes can either advantageous or
        disadvantageous to the creature, depending on whether the new
        color camouflages the creature or destroys its natural
        camouflage.  A creature's color can be changes to any other
        color in the spectrum. The DM is free to create moonyeti with
        bright green fur or bright red moontrolls. Moonzebras with red
        and green stripes are possible, as are giant moonrats with
        bright yellow fur and red underbellies. The color changes and
        color combinations are left to the DM and are limited only by
        the imagination.
     36-50: The eyes are much different than normal.  Roll 1d6 to
        determine the types of eyes: 1 = huge and protruding; 2 = small
        and stalked like a crab's; 3 = large ad turreted, move
        independently like a chameleon; 4 = appear normal but creature
        has 1d4 additional eyes; 5 = multifaceted like an insect's; 6 =
        the creature appears to have no eyes (any eye sockets are
        empty, but the creature moves and reacts like one with normal
        vision).

     51-65: The eyes appear and function normally except for their
        color: 1 = solid black; 2 = blank white; 3 = glowing red; 4 =
        glowing, venomous green; 5 = putrid pink; 6 = opalescent.
     66-75: The skull or head is adorned with unusual outgrowths.
        While it is possible for a creature to attack with these
        outgrowths, this mutation does not give the mooncreature an
        additional attack per round. Roll 1d4 to determine the type of
        adornment: 1 = antlers, as a small deer, that do 1-2 hp
        slashing and rendering damage each; 2 = horns, as a small bull,
        doing 1-3 hp stabbing damage each; 3 = single horn, like a
        small unicorn horn without magical properties, doing 1-4 hp
        stabbing damage; 4 = curved horns, like a ram, that can be used
        to butt an opponent for 1-4 hp damage.  76-85: Mooncreature has
        a tail, or if the mooncreature is of a type that normally has a
        tail, the tail is changed in purpose or function. While it is
        possible for a creature to use its tail for attack, this does
        not give the mooncreature an additional attack per round. Roll
        1d4 to determine the type of tail: 1 = short, useless, and non-
        functioning; 2 = long and prehensile, can be used to hold a
        shield or other object but cannot be used in attack; 3 = long
        and segmented, ending in a nonpoisonous stinger that does 1-4
        hp damage; 4 = long and whip-like, can be used to inflict 1-2
        hp damage.
     86-95: DM's choice or roll again.
     96-00: Multiple oddities. Roll three times on this table. DM may
        choose or roll again in the case of duplicate or contradictory
        results.


ADDITIONAL COMMENTS

     An adventure based on moonmelons from which this information was
taken can be found Dungeon, issue #25, Of Kings Unknown.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                  EXTRACTS FROM THE NET POISON DIGEST


     The following are extracts from the Poison Digest found in
computer net-land. Do you self a favor and find the digest; its worth
it. The compiler of the guide and the contributors are not known, but
thanks is given to these creative people.


Black mead - This is a clear liquid that smells like honey. It does
10-80 (10d8) damage, starts in 1 round, and runs it's course in 15
rounds. It causes disorientation (-2 to hit, damage, 30% chance of
spell failure) after 20 points of damage are taken; disorientation
increases in steps of 10 points (additional -1 to hit, damage, +5% to
spell failure). This effect wears off in 1-3 turns after poison has run
it's course. Save for half damage at -4.

Budwhipper mushrooms - This mushroom powder causes advanced
drunkenness, the victim will pass out and will be out in a number of
rounds equal to 23 minus constitution. Any alcohol consumed over the
next week will cause a relapse into the previous state.

Deathwine - Odorless, colorless, burgundy liquid. Often mistaken for
wine. May be used both ways, as insinuative (Blade venom) or as
ingestive (Food poison). It is tremendously lethal. A save is allowed
(at -5), and if it fails, death occurs in 1 round. If the save is
successful, the victim still takes 25 damage, 12 points of damage in
the first round and 13 points in the second round. If an antidote is to
be used, it must be administered within six segments or it will not be
effective. Deathwine and it's antidote are EXTREMELY RARE. This poison
will effect ANY humanoid even trolls and the like.

Devil-Ale - An odorless liquid, very light orange color. It does a flat
60 points of damage, starts in 1-3 rounds after ingestion, and runs
it's course in 2-5 (1d4+1) turns. There is no saving throw. An antidote
is the only hope.

Lhurdas - (Also known as "Yellow Death" and "Beltyn's Last Drink".)
This is a wine based poison. It has a sharp dry white-grape taste and
will readily mix with any such wine. It reacts with the digestive acids
of the stomach (effective in any of the player races) to eat away the
internal organs and tissues. Ingestion produces rapid (within two
rounds) nausea, convulsions, and terrific internal cramps with burning
pain. It does 1-6 (1d6) damage in the first round, 2-12 (2d6) damage in
the second round, and 1-4 (1d4) damage in the third and final round.
Thereafter it will do no more damage, regardless of dose, and further
exposure to Lhurdas will cause discomfort and failure to heal, but no
more damage. This resistance lasts for 3-25 (3d8) days. This is an
ingestive poison only. Save for half damage.

----------------------------------------------------------------------


                NO GUIDE IS COMPLETE WITHOUT MAGIC-ITEMS


        Give me a bowl of wine. In this I bury all unkindness.

                                             --- William Shakespeare
                                                 from Julius Caesar

     I love everything that's old; Friends, time, books, and wine!

                                             --- Oliver Goldsmith


Magic Item                            XP Value
Alcohol Meter Pearl                        500
Bottle Of Containment                    1,750
Bottle Of Evaporation                     1000
Bottle Of Fireflies                      1,500
Bottle of Wine Summoning                 5,000
Bull Bottle of Beer                  500/2,000
Crown of Vines                           3,000
Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery       2,000
Elixir of Pan                            1,500
Elixir of Sobriety                       7,500
Long Sword of Alcoholism                   ---
Miller Genuine Draft Bottle                500
Mug Of Plenty                            3,000
Nehara's Never-Empty Flask               1,000
Ring of Alcohol Improvement              2,000
Ring of Intoxication                       100
Ring Of Intoxication Prevention          2,000
Rings Of Wedding                           250
Ring of Wine Changing                      200
Ring Of Wine Spoiling                      ---
Root of the Beers                          500
Runkelstein's Black Beads                  500
Potion Of C2H50H                           750
Spit/Plaque Of Roasting                    500
Spittoon Of Tidiness                       500
Staff of Alcohol
   Pine Staff                              500
   Birch Staff                             600
   Cherry Staff                            700
   Oak Staff                               800
   Iron Staff                            1,000
Sword of Continual Alcohol               3,000
Tankard of Plenty                        2,500
Tome of Viticulture                      5,000
Tray Of Non-Spilling                       500
Wineskin of Eternity                     3,000
"You Can't Out-Drink the Brewery" Flask  3,000


Alcohol Meter Pearl - This pearl will change colors relative to the
alcohol level of a liquid. See the chart below for the color the pearl
change to and the type of alcohol it is nearest to. The liquid may or
may not be the type of alcohol listed on the chart below, but it does
have the same alcohol content and effect as that alcohol.

     Color          Equal to
     Ivory          None
     Gold           Beer
     Copper         Ale
     Silver         Wine
     Olive          Mead
     Crimson        Liquor
     Ebony          Poison


Bottle Of Containment - This small bottle can hold up to 20 units of
any kind of fluid. A magic potion counts as one unit, as does one
gallon of any non-magical fluid. The bottle keeps all its contents
separate, and each may be recalled by name. However, any fluid stored
must be poured from the bottle to be used. The bottle appears empty if
examined. If the bottle is broken, all its liquid contents disappear.


Bottle Of Evaporation - This bottle appears identical to a bottle of
containment and usually functions in the same manner. However, its
entire contents may disappear without warning. There is a 5% chance of
disappearance any time the user attempts to remove a liquid from the
bottle.


Bottle Of Fireflies - This bottle appears and functions as a bottle of
containment. However, when one wineskin of wine is poured into it, the
bottle glows with many tiny lights and the wine is immediately
consumed. The lights can be commanded to glow with any brightness
desired and can light an area as small as 1 foot across or up to 120
feet in diameter. However, the bottle cannot be completely darkened
except magically. The firefly light lasts 1 hour per wineskin of wine
used and functions as often as desired.


Bottle of Wine Summoning - If found on an adventure this bottle will
most likely be empty, but it is very ornate. If checked it will give
off faint magical traces. There will be writing on the bottle (DM
should decide which language) that will include instructions on how to
use the bottle, including the command word. When the command word is
given this bottle will magically create any type of alcohol that the
wisher wants. The wine will magically appear within the bottle. The
wine or alcohol will always be of the very best quality, vintage, and
taste. The bottle will only work once a day, so use it wisely.  Once
the bottle is empty there will be no more for that day. Also the
alcohol or wine summoned must be real in the characters universe,
nothing imaginary or from the real world.
   It is rumored that this magic item was originally commissioned by
the great wine maker Chandon. Who wanted to be able to sample any wine
that was described to him by travelers. That way if someone said that
such and such a vintages from such and such a year from some far off
land was very good. Chandon could quickly check it out.


Bull Bottle of Beer - This interesting and sometime dangerous magical
item can often be found in bars and taverns, it has been found in
treasure hoards.  This bottle appears to be a simple bottle of beer.
But when someone opens the bottle, a magical bull will come crashing
into the tavern from any large windows or a simple door. It might come
from a door to a back room or through the mirror above the bar. The
bull will be slightly larger than normal size. It will head directly
for the holder of the beer bottle. Everyone within a 10 ft. radius will
be affected by a petrifaction spell and be unable to move.
     There are two types of this magical bottle, the first type is more
common than the second. The first type is simply an illusion. The bull
will seem to avoid people on its way to the bottle. Once there it
charge the person holding the bottle, but at the last instant will seem
to jump into the open bottle. The second type of bottle is more
dangerous, this bull is real!  It will not avoid anyone in the room and
will head straight for the bottle holder. Anyone who does not or can
not get out of the bulls way runs the risk of taking stampeding damage
from all four hooves (1d4 per hit) and goring damage (1d8). The bull
will make two attempts to charge, gore and trample the person holding
the bottle. It will then give up and wander away through a door and
disappear.
     While the origins of these magical items remains a mystery. Some
people believe it was originally created as a practical joke, as the
non-lethal version may attest. But as will many pranks, this one can
get out of hand and become dangerous.


Crown of Vines - This is a clerical item, manufactured by clerics of
gods of inebriation. It appears to be a circlet woven of living
grapevines. The wearer of a Crown of Vines enjoys several benefits:

     1) Complete immunity to hangovers, addiction, and other forms of
        damage caused by excessive alcohol consumption.
     2) A +2 bonus to charisma with regard to others who are slightly
        intoxicated, a +4 bonus when moderately drunk, and a +8 bonus
        when greatly intoxicated (maximum 18). Anyone who considers the
        effects of such leadership the next day will dismiss it as a
        result of drinking; it's possible to lead troops out of a city
        wearing this item, but they're going to mutiny when he sobers up.
     3) Instant knowledge of the form and quality of any alcohol
        perceivable with any sense.

     Once a crown is worn, it will slowly grow more appealing to its
wearer, and he or she will find it very easy to see the positive
aspects of the nights of revelry. Further, they will enjoy dreams that
convey information relating to the worship of the god the crown was
woven with the patronage of. No explicit force will be applied against
the person's personality to effect a conversion, but the knowledge will
serve as a very persuasive argument.
     A cleric of the god to whom the crown is dedicated may receive
divine messages through these dreams, vaguely like a phylactery of
faithfulness, with the additional possibility of information relating
to a quest (note the non-italics on quest) being bestowed in the dream.
Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery - This container the perfect gift
for those who love home-brew, but are often away from home for long
periods of time. The container can be a pot, kettle, or flask of any
size up to 5 gallons.
     Every 8 hours, any liquid in the pot will loose 1/2 its volume.
The catch is that the water goes first. Thus, if beer containing 10%
alcohol is placed in the pot, then after 8 hours it will loose 1/2 its
volume, but will now contain 20% alcohol. Within 16 hours it will
consist of 40% alcohol, and it will be 80% by the end of the first full
24 hours in the pot.
     However, if the original volume was 5 gallons, there is now only 5
 pints of liquid left. Eventually any liquid left in the Distillery
 will be completely evaporated.
     When all the water is gone, some other liquid (juice, etc.) has to
go next, DM's choice.


Elixir of Pan - This reddish brown fluid will cause a human or a demi-
human to go into a state of great intoxication for 2d6 hours. At the
end of this time the effects wear off and the victim recovers without a
hangover.
     At first this seems like a harmless enough potion. However, the
absence of the hangover tends to compel anyone who has a ready supply
to indulge. Some less than scrupulous alchemists can make a killing
with just this one potion.


Elixir of Sobriety - There are actually 2 different potions floating
around by this name. The first requires components such as chicken egg
yolks, cow's milk, and tomato juice. The second requires such things as
basilisk egg yolks, dragon's blood, and acid from the breath of a black
dragon. One or the other of these may work, or both may work in the
DM's world. The first one will instantly cure drunkenness or a hangover
for that instance only, it does not provide for future protection. The
second one is the difficult one to create and will prevent drunkenness
and hangovers for 1d6 months.

Long Sword of Alcoholism - This long sword is cursed casing -4 to hit.
Also, the sword causes the victim to be an alcoholic. The character's
Amount Level goes to 8 and his Drinking Level goes to 5; neither can be
lowered as long as the sword is in possession. Unless it is subject to
remove curse, the sword will return to the owner in 1d4 rounds even if
stolen.
     The sword is currently in the hands of Dugar RedHandle. His stats
when sober are Str: 18/00, Int: 8, Wis: 8, Dex: 17, Con: 12 (was 15,
but heavy drinking has lowered it), Com: 18, Chr: 15. He is a 10th
level fighter when sober; less than a fighter when drunk. Besides this
sword that he believes is a fine indispensable weapon, he carries a
shield and wears chain mail armor.
     A Remove Curse is the only way to get rid of the sword. The
Alcoholism will remain but can then be treated.

Miller Genuine Draft Bottle - This is a normal sized bottle that
appears to have beer in it. A black label around the bottle states in
golden letters "Miller Genuine Draft". The bottle is sealed with a
metal cap that must be twisted off. Once a person does this a strange
thing happens. A 20 cubic foot area around the bottle suddenly gets a
chilly temperature of 50 degrees Fahrenheit. A light snow begins to
fall in the area of effect. Ten 5 cubic foot blocks of ice pop up
randomly in the area of effect. Stylish, sexy music begins to play.
Furthermore, a case of non-magical, excellent-quality, draft beer
slides out of thin area along side the bottle opener (i.e. the person
that opened the bottle). The cold effects last as long as the 24
bottles remain filled with beer.
Mug Of Plenty - This device is a large clay beer mug. When a command
word is spoken, it immediately fills with light or dark ale or thick
mead, as the user wishes. When drained, the command word will cause it
to fill again. While not particularly useful on adventures (although
you would never know), this is perhaps the most popular magical item
among the isles.


Nehara's Never-Empty Flask - Nehara was a dwarf who was granted a
couple of wishes.  His first wish was used to raise a dead comrade.
His second wish was "for a never-emptying flask of the strongest, best-
tasting alcohol in the entire multi-universe". He wished this because
he really detested water, and even bathed only in moonshine. Nehara
received this flask that produces an alcohol which is magically endowed
to have the projected properties of 400 proof alcohol (yes 200 proof is
100% alcohol, which is why the words "magic" and "projected" are used).
     Any creature drinking the magical alcohol from the flask must save
vs. poison unless his/her immunity check is made. Failure indicates
that the imbiber suffers 1d10+10 points of damage and becomes
unconscious for 1d12+12 hours. A save indicates that the imbiber enters
a state of great intoxication. Also, the imbiber develops an immunity
to the alcohol. For each save the character gains a cumulative +1% to
his immunity check. All creatures start out with an immunity equal to
his/her Constitution score. Nehara's first shot from the flask knocked
him out. Afterwards, he started to develop a tolerance that was,
simply, not normal. (Because it was his wish that brought this item
into existence, he began with an immunity of 90%, which he failed on
his first drink.)
     Note: The alcohol loses all properties if not drunk from the
flask. Thus, characters can not pour the alcohol out and store it each
day in hopes of having a large supply of powerful elixir.
     The flask refills itself everyday at midnight with the magical
alcohol. It is the size of a normal wineskin, and made of fine leather,
albeit almost invulnerable leather.
     Nehara's antics with this flask are legendary. Once, Nehara was on
guard duty one night and a lone kobold wandered into camp. Nehara
grabbed the poor bastard and forced him to take a rather large gulp of
the infernal beverage. The kobold failed his save versus poison and
dropped dead (from losing 9 HP), much to the drunken dwarf's dismay.
     Nehara is probably best known for drinking many half-ogres under
the table. The usual bet was, "I can drink more of this than you can
drink," at which point the dwarf could take two or three shots, but
most others would drop after the first one.


Ring of Alcohol Improvement - This ring seems simply to be a +1 ring of
protection and will show to be magical if checked.
     The special function of the ring does not become noticeable until
the ring comes into contact with a container full of alcohol. At which
time the alcohol in the container (mug, glass, bottle, etc.) will be
turned into the very best quality possible.
     There is a very good chance that the character will never notice
that he/she never has another bad tasting drink even in the worst pubs.
Save vs. Intelligence or Wisdom at -7.
     Invented by a wizard who hated to pay high prices for good drinks,
but could not stand the thought of drinking anything bad.

Ring of Intoxication - The wearer of this ring will instantly enter a
state of slight intoxication, and gradually move from that to
moderately intoxicated, to greatly intoxicated, to comatose (figure one
step per hour). The wearer will feel good and will not want to remove
the ring (PCs wishing to remove it must make a Wisdom check). Recovery
starts when the ring is removed or the wearer is comatose. Once the wearer 
is recovered (and if still wearing the ring), the process starts again.
Ring Of Intoxication Prevention - This silver ring has a small white
opal set in it. While this ring is worn, the wearer does not suffer the
effects of alcohol.


Rings Of Wedding - Referred to in ancient texts as the "Band of Gold",
the ring of wedding is worn on the third finger of the left hand of the
character. Forged only in matching pairs, the ring of wedding creates a
mild bond of telepathy between the pair wearing them. Thus, a character
who wields a ring of wedding and partaking in an alcoholic beverage
will have a 90% chance of being known by the wearer of the matching
ring. It is advisable for the ring-wearing male who practices such a
ceremony with a female to make friends with a cleric who has a "Cure
Heavy Wounds" spell.


Ring of Wine Changing - This magical ring will always appear magical
if detected for and will act as a +1 ring of protection at all times.
Its special powers will not become obvious unless the hand with the
ring comes into contact with a container filled with alcohol (mug,
glass, bottle, etc.). At which point the alcohol in the container will
be magically changed into another type of drink i.e. red wine would be
changed into white wine, white wine would be changed into Champagne,
beer would be turned into vodka, etc.. Of course this could lead to
some problems if a character or NPC is really picky about the type of
drink ordered.
     The first reported use of this type of magic item was when a mage
was mad at the owner a local tavern. The mage constructed the ring and
gave it to a Dwarven fighter who loved his one special beer. It caused
no end of trouble for the tavern. The Dwarf never went back after the
fight, but did discover the flaw in the ring and quickly sold it at a
good profit.


Ring Of Wine Spoiling - This ring simply seems to be a +1 ring of
protection and will show to be magical. Its special power does not
become noticeable until the ring comes into contact with a container
holding alcohol (mug, glass, bottle, etc.) at which point the alcohol
in the container will be spoiled (i.e. wine turned to vinegar, beer
will taste like grain, etc.). There is only a small chance that the
character will realize what is happening (-4 on intelligence check).
This could cause interesting problems at a bar or tavern. Those Dwarfs
really love their bear and ale.


Root of the Beers - This is a gnarled wooden root that spans one foot
if straightened out. When the root comes in contact with a pint of pure
spring water, it turns the water into an excellent tasting drink of
non-alcoholic birch beer or root beer, depending on the desires of the
owner. This root is often accompanied with a Staff of Alcohol where it
wraps around and intertwines with the gnarled staff.


Runkelstein's Black Beads - These beads, created by the reformed
alcoholic mage Runkelstein, are the size of a small pea. They typically
come in quantities of 1d10+10. When a bead is dropped into a container
of alcohol, it removes the effects typically associated with liquor
consumption. Yet, the liquid retains its full body and taste (great
taste, less filling). The consumer will not get drunk or have a
hangover. Very useful in drinking matches and when treachery is
suspected. One bead will detoxify the following:



     Alcohol   Amount
     Beer      6.0 gallons
     Ale       4.0 gallons
     Wine      2.0 gallons
     Mead      1.0 gallons
     Liquor    0.5 gallons


Potion Of C2H50H - This potion, known by a variety of names, such as
Wild Turkey, Seagram's, and even J.D., is a valuable item (in some
cases, up to $10.00/fifth). Caution must be exercised when imbibing in
this potion as over-indulgence (drinking more than 3 doses) will cause
it to become a potion of delusion. Over-indulgence will require
administration of a 6th-level "Hair Of The Dog That Bit You" spell
(difficult spell to obtain) or a "Cure Hangover" spell.


Spit/Plaque Of Roasting - Very popular in inns and taverns, these
separate items both do the same thing: they roast meat without the need
for a fire or other heat source. The meat must be skewered on the spit
or laid out on the plaque, and a command word spoken. The user may
specify the degree of roasting.


Spittoon Of Tidiness - A favorite item amongst taverns and inns, this
metal urn levitates one inch above the floor. Whenever anyone spits on
the floor, the spittoon will move quickly and catch the expectorate.
The spittoon is fast enough to travel the widest portion of the tavern
floor in less than one second. Customers have played games with this
spittoon by spitting at the same time. The spittoon will catch the
nearest expectorate, then hit the shins of the other spitter, hard
enough to bruise. Not many customers try it again after that. The
spittoon will also catch any food thrown or dropped before it hits the
floor.


Staff of Alcohol - This ordinary looking gnarled wooden staff, often
looking like a twisted walking stick, will after giving the command
word and touching the top of a glass or mug magically creates an
alcohol drink. The staff has a limited number of charges. It can only
produce a limited type of drinks, each requiring a different number of
charges. For the different types of alcohol created see charts below:

   Pine Staff: Beers; good quality 1 charge, very good 2 charges,
   excellent beer 3 charges.

   Birch Staff: Ale, charges as per beer.

   Cherry Staff: Wines; 1 charge good white wine, 2 charges excellent
   white wine, 3 charges good red wine, 4 charges excellent red wine.

   Oak Staff: Whisky 1 charge, vodka 2 charges, schnapps 3 charges.

   Iron Staff: the iron staff does not have a command word you simply
   twist the top end until to get the desired type of drink. The iron
   staff is not twisted, it is arrow straight. All drinks created are
   excellent quality. Beer 1 charge, Ale 2 charges, White wine 3
   charges, Red wine 4 charges, champagne 5 charges.


Sword of Continual Alcohol - This is a large sword which has a crystal
blade. The handle is made of gold, with two needles coming out of one
side. The blade is divided into two portions, one being around the
hitting edge and the other every where else. The blade is also always
filled with a black liquid, which is known to be alcohol. When a person
picks up the sword the needles in the hilt inject into his hand,
injecting alcohol into his bloodstream. This will cause the bearer to
have fits of enrage, 18/00 strength, and some bad habits, 3 charisma.
When the bearer scores a hit, there is a chance that the alcohol around
the hitting edge will be injected (in the same manner) into the
opponent's blood. The alcohol around the hitting edge is 100% pure
alcohol, and will kill anyone instantly. When the sword runs out of
alcohol, the bearer may fill it, in whatever way he can, as he is
addicted to it.


Tankard of Plenty - This tankard is a dwarf's (and other alcoholic's)
dream. Any non-magical, alcoholic liquid placed in this tankard will be
kept fresh for the duration that it is in it.
     The tankard is made of iron, silver, and ivory (from an unknown
beast). It's lid is made of silver, and can be opened by it's flip-top
thumb press. Hanging from the underside of the lid, is a silver chain
that has on the end of it a small stone of a volcanic nature. The stone
hangs just off the bottom of the tankard when it is closed. Any non-
magical, alcoholic liquid that is in the tankard will completely cover
the small stone when the lid is closed. The next time the tankard is
open, it will be filled to the brim with the liquid. Thus you need buy
just one drink at a tavern for a whole night's entertainment.
     The lid is not airtight, and so the tankard cannot be used to
store liquid during travelling. If it is used in this way, then all the
thirsty adventurer will find is an empty tankard and a soggy backpack.


Tome of Viticulture - If read in one sitting, this tome will magically
give the reader great knowledge in grape growing and wine making. The
character will have the equivalent Intelligence of 19 for determining
the best type of grape to grow in an area and the best piece of land to
chose. The character will instinctively know when the grapes are at the
right ripeness for the type of wine the character wants to make. The
character will know at just the right moment to press, bottle, and
ferment the wine. The character will also know exactly when the wine
has fermented long enough. The character will know how to correctly
store and turn the wine while it is fermenting. The character will be
able to tell how long the wine will remain a good vintage. The
character will have a bonus of +4 when trying to determine if a wine
was from a good vintage or not. The character has a bonus of +4 for
creating a good or great vintage for a particular year.
     The magic tome must be reread each year to continue to receive the
full bonus from the tome.
     If a DM want the tome can be made more specific so that it can
only benefit for the making of one type of wine. As example or to DM's
taste:

     Red Wines: Red Bordeaux, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Petit Verdot.

     Champagne & Sparkling wines: Blanc de Noir, Blanc de Blancs,
     Sparkling Burgundy, Cold Duck.

     White Wines: Montrachet, Meursault, Cote de Beaune, Chablis or
     Petit Chablis, Macon Vire.

     Appetizer & Dessert Wines: Sherry, Madeira, Vermouth, Port,
     Marsala, Tokay.


Tray Of Non-Spilling - This tray keeps its own balance regardless of
the dexterity of the bearer. Only intentional upsetting will spill
items on the tray. If the DM rolls to see if the character slips and
falls or slips but catch his/her balance, the tray will not spill in
either situation. It is assumed to have landed safely away from the
character if there is a level space nearby. Otherwise, the items on the
tray are indeed spilled.


Wineskin of Eternity -  This appears to be a perfectly ordinary
wineskin. While grasped by a sentient creature, it can pour forth a
thin stream of excellent wine, as if it were nearly full of such
liquid; however, it cannot be opened to refill it. Strangely, it never
seems to empty.
     Note that the flow rate on a wineskin is not high, so while you
can get drunk passing it around, you're not likely to be able to pour
out large quantities for sale or filling moats and so on. The Decanter
of Endless Booze is a much rarer item, and you don't want to see what
happens when you set it to Everclear, invoke the Geyser function, and
hold out a torch. It also won't work to just upturn it to pour out its
contents: someone has to be consciously getting wine out of it.


"You Can't Out-Drink the Brewery" Flask -"You Can't Out-Drink the
Brewery" is a figure of speech used by a senile school teacher. This
flask looks at first as though it contains the empty remains of an
alchemical potion. It feels light as if there were nothing in it, and
in fact a closer inspection will reveal that there is nothing inside of
it. However, there is a persistent sloshing noise emanating from the
flask anytime it is shaken in the slightest manner. If it is tipped
over into some drinking vessel, it will provide a consistent, unending
source of poor quality wine. It isn't the greatest, but it is free
alcohol.
     DM's can modify the quality of the wine, or even what sort of
liquid is dispensed. Experience points and price should be based on the
value of magic and alcohol in the DM's world, and exactly what sort of
product is formed by the flask. PC mages wishing to create one of these
themselves will want to research create water, water to wine, and
cornucopia spells, along with permanency and enchant item. Yes, in most
worlds some of these spells are known only to clerics, in which case a
cleric/mage is the only answer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    La Bouteille Magique de Chandon
                       (Chandon's Amazing Bottle)

                                   BY
                        Ronald "Greymoon" Jones


     When first seen, this bottle will appear to be just like any other
wine bottle, but it will be very ornately decorated. It will radiate
magic if it is detected for. The wine will always be of the very best
vintage. The design on the bottle will be of a typical vineyard and
winery. If a character looks closely he/she might see movement, as if
workers were tending the fields.
     On closer inspection of the bottle, a character might notice
several things which are common to vineyards and wineries. Grapes grow
best in a dry northern climate, with hills and nearby bodies of water.
The grape crops would be placed on the slope of a hill facing south.  A
south facing grape crop is best for wine grape growing. It will always
seem to be late summer or early fall which is the best time to harvest
grapes. The grapes will then be at their richest wine making flavor.
The Grapes are usually planted in rows six to eight feet apart to allow
for spreading leaves and roots. The vines are held on wires or ropes
spread between posts at the end of each row of plants. Wooden carts and
wagons are used to haul the grapes to the winery. Ploughs are used to
keep the area between the vine rows clear of weeds. The winery and
housing will be on the valley floor near a river or large lake. The
winery can be very large, but much of this space is taken up by the
aging casks. The finished wine will be stored in underground sellers or
in a place with a constant, cool, temperature.
     Once wine has been poured from the bottle, the workers will set
out as if to make more wine. After a short amount of time the bottle
will be refilled. The faster the bottle is drained, the faster the
workers appear to work. The workers will soon get tired and work will
slow down (see table A). If a character is simply draining the bottle
to see the wine being made or if the bottle is given a good shake, the
little people will shake their fists and make rude gestures at the
characters.  It would seem as if they could see what was happening
outside of the bottle. If the bottle is severely shaken damage will
occur on the farm and the people will fall over.
     Any character who looks into the bottle must save vs. magic or be
transfixed by the bottle, as per the fascinate spell (1st edition
Illusionist spell). The character will simply stare into the bottle
until something or someone distracts the character. There will be no
negative reaction or emotions toward the bottle. The character might
simply say something like, "Wow" or "Amazing".
     An aspect of the bottle is that it must be exposed to sunlight at
one time or another. If the bottle is not exposed to sunlight for one
week changes will occur within the bottle. Starting during the second
week, the weather will seem to change within the bottle. By the end of
the week, clouds will become noticeable, rain will fall, and generally
the weather within the bottle will deteriorate. After another two to
three weeks without sunlight, a hard frost will occur that will
apparently stop the growing and harvesting of new grapes. During the
next week, the vineyards will be cleared and old branches and stumps
will be burned. Wine will still be produced but at a much slower rate
from stored grapes. After another two weeks without sunlight, the
bottles's landscape will be covered with snow. Wine refilling the
bottle will happen very slowly. Wine production will never truly stop,
but if no more wine is poured from the bottle, snow will drift up
covering the fields and houses. No more activity will be seen outside
of the houses except for smoke out of the chimneys (see table B).
     If the bottle is ever found in a dungeon or in a place that the DM
believes that there has been no exposure to sunlight for a long time,
the bottle will show a snow covered valley, with the wine will be of a
very good vintage and well aged. The bottle will slowly refill. But not
until the bottle is touched by sunlight will the snow melt and spring
and finally summer return to the farm. Wine production will not be very
swift until after new grape plants have grown.
     In the legends of wine makers there was a great master and his
name was Chandon. He was one of the best wine makers ever. When he felt
that he could do no more to expand the realm of wine making, he was
depressed. But soon he was presented with a gift from a great but now
forgotten wizard. This gift was the first of the magic bottles.
Chandon was very impressed and ordered that his best wine should be
made in these magic bottles. He commissioned many bottles to be given
out as gifts to important Kings, Queens, and, it is rumored, even Gods.
These magic bottles are very rare and valuable, they are sparsely
spread across many worlds.
     The popularity and demand for these magic bottles has produced
many imitations and copies, some of which are good and some are very
bad. These copies are the reason for the following variations on a
theme:  (see table C)




Table A: (As a guide otherwise use example in text.)

Exposure of bottle to sunlight:
     Regular (Daily) Production is one full bottle (750 ml or 24 oz)
        per round.
     Less regularly (Weekly) Production slows to one full bottle per
        five (5) rounds.
     Periodically (Monthly) Production slows to one full bottle per
        turn.
     Rarely (Bi-monthly) Production slows to one full bottle per 3
        turns.
     Very rarely (Yearly) Production slows to one full bottle per hour
        or less.
     Almost never (In the dark) Production is only one full bottle per
       day or less.


Table B: (As a guide otherwise use example in text.)

Effects of the passage of time without sunlight:
Week number:
     1.  Clouds, some rain possible but not strong.
     2.  More clouds, rain begins.
     3.  Constant clouds, rain.
    4-5. Constant clouds, rain, first light frosts.
         Wine Production slows.
    5-6. Heavy Clouds, rain, Hard frost.
         Wine Production now very slow, vineyard cleared.
    6-8. Low Heavy Clouds, rain, hard frost, Snow.
         Vineyard completely baron, no new grapes.
         Wine coming from reserves.  Very, very slow production.
   9-12. Very Low, heavy clouds, Heavy Snow.
         Drifts of snow begin to cover area until sunlight
         returns.


Table C: Wine Bottle Variants (1d100)

Die
Roll    Type
01-10   Red Wines
11-20   White Wines
21-30   Sparkling Wines
31-35   Beer
36-40   Ale
41-45   Malt
46-50   Appetizer Wines
51-55   Dessert Wines (Sweet)
56-60   Distilled Liquors (Brandy)
61-65   Rum
66-70   Whiskey
71-75   Gin
76-80   Unusual (Special)
81-85   Unusual (Hard)
86-96   Special (See the table for POPULAR & STRANGE ALCOHOLS
        AMONGST THE WORLDS elsewhere in this guide.)
97-00   Magical (Very Special)

DM's remember when using these tables to modify if necessary the
description of the bottle read to the players.




Sub-Table C1: Red Wines (1d20)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Claret
 2     Burgundy - Chablis
 3     Beaujolais
 4     Barber
 5     Barerone
 6     Aleatico
 7     Cabernet
 8     Carignane
 9     Charbono
10     Chianti
11     Concord
12     Duriff
13     Gamay
14     Grignolino
15     Ives
16     Mourastel
17     Norton
18     Petite Sirah
19     Pinot Noir
20     Roll again or DM pick one


Sub-Table C2: White Wines (1d20)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Rhine
 2     Sauterne
 3     Catawha
 4     Chablis
 5     Chardonnay
 6     Elvira
 7     Folle Blache
 8     Golden Chasselas
 9     Gutedel
10     Hock
11     Rose (Pink)
12     Light Muscat
13     Malvasia Bianca
14     Moscato Canelli
15     Muscat Frontignan
16     Moselle
17     Ponot Blanc
18     Sauvignon Blanc
19     Traminer
20     Roll again or DM pick one


Sub-Table C3: Sparkling Wines (1d12)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Champagne (Common types see sub-table)
 2     Sparkling Burgundy
 3     Sparkling Sautene
 4     Sparkling Moselle
 5     Pink Champagne
 6     Sparkling Muscat
 7     Moscato Spumante
 8     Sparkling Muscato
 9     Canelli
10     Sparkling Burgundy (Red)
11     Imitation Champagne (White)
12     Roll again or DM pick one


Sub-Table C3B: Champaqne (1d8)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Brut
 2     Extra Dry
 3     Demi-Sec
 4     Doux
 5     Blanc de Blancs
 6     Blanc de Noirs
 7     Cremant
 8     Brut Extra Dry


Sub-Table C4: Beer (1d30)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Barley Wine
 2     Chamonile
 3     Dandelion
 4     Ginger
 5     Herb (DM pick name if necessary)
 6     Guiness Extra Stout
 7     Guiness Extra
 8     Guiness
 9     Irish Stout
10     Milk Stout (or Sweet Stout)
11     Oatmeal Stout
12     Light Lager
13     Dark Lager
14     Nettle Beer
15     Spruce
16     Sap
17     Treacle
18     Heavy Lager
19     Boneshaker Stout
20     Carmel
21     Bitter Beer
22     Maize Flake Beer
23     White Raspberry
24     Porter
25     Wort
26-30  Roll again or DM pick one (room for expantion)


Sub-Table C5: Ale (1d12)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Bitter (pale)
 2     Bran
 3     Brown
 4     Burdock
 5     Dandelion and Burdock
 6     Demerara
 7     Flaked Barley
 8     Light Ale
 9     Pale Ale
10     Dark Ale
11     Amber
12     Roll again or DM pick one


Sub-Table C6: Malt (1d6)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Amber
 2     Porter
 3     Light
 4     Dark
 5     Crystal
 6     Roll again or DM pick one


Sub-Table C7: Appetizer Wines (1d4)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Sherry: Roll 1d4 for quality/type
               1  Fino (Light and Dry)
               2  Amontillado (Med Dry)
               3  Oloroso (Dark, Med Sweet)
               4  Cream (Sweetened)
 2     Vermouth
 3     Madeira: Roll 1d4 for quality/type
                1  Sercial (Dry)
                2  Verdelho (Med Dry)
                3  Bual (Med Sweet)
                4  Malmsey (Sweet, Rich)
 4     Marsala


Sub-Table C8: Dessert Wines (Sweet) (1d12)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Port: roll 1d4 for age/quality
             1  Vintage/very old (Extra-good)
             2  Old (Very Good)
             3  Young (Good)
             4  Roll again or DM pick one
 2     Muscatell
 3     Tokay
 4     White Port
 5     Angelica
 6     Aleatico
 7     Malaga
 8     Malvasia
 9     Muscat Frontigan
10     Red Muscatel
11     Sweet Sherry
12     Roll again or DM pick one








Sub-Table C9: Distilled Liquors (Brandy) (1d12) (Roll For Quality)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Grape
 2     Apple
 3     Peach
 4     Pear
 5     Raisin
 6     Prune
 7     Apricot
 8     Cherry
 9     Blackberry
10     Applejack
11     Plum
12     Roll again or DM pick one


Sub-Table C9A: Quality (1d4)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Congnac (Best)
 2     Broderies (Very Good)
 3     Armagnac (Good)
 4     Imitation (Less Good)

Sub-Table C10: Rum (1d6)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Local Trade (Low Quality)
 2     Home Trade (Good)
 3     Export Trade (Strong)
 4     Stock (Very Strong - Must be diluted in Wine)
 5     Morrow Rum (Good)
 6     Roll again or DM can pick one

Sub-Table C11: Whiskey (1d6)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Rye
 2     Bourbon
 3     Pot Still (Sweet)
 4     Patent Still (Sweet)
 5     Pot Still (Sour)
 6     Patent Still (Sour)
       DM can always pick one


Sub-Table C12: Gin (1d8)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Juniper Berry
 2     Sloe Berry
 3     Bitter Almond
 4     Cassia Bark
 5     Fennel
 6     Orris Root
 7     Liquorice
 8     Turpentine
       DM can always pick one
Sub-Table C13: Unusual (Special Wines) (1d100)
These are popular and may even pre-date true Grape wine making.

Die                                 Die
Roll   Type                         Roll   Type
 1     Aubergine (Egg-plant)(Med)   51     Lovage (Sweet)
 2     Almond                       52     Malt (Med)
 3     Artichoke (Dry)              53     Marigold (Dry)
 4     Balm (Medium)                54     Marrow (Sweet)
 5     Banana (Semi-Sweet)          55     Mead (Med)
 6     Barley                       56     Meadowsweet (Med)
 7     Beet, Sugar (Med)            57     Medlar (Med)
 8     Beetroot (Med)               58     Mulberry
 9     Bilberry (Dry)               59     Nectarine (Med)
10     Birch Sap (Dry)              60     Oak leaf (Sweet)
11     Blackberry (Semi-Sweet)      61     Orange (Dry)
12     Blackberry Shoot (Dry)       62     Pansy (Sweet)
13     Blueberry                    63     Parsley (Dry)
14     Broad Been (Dry)             64     Parsnip (Sweet)
15     Broom (Sweet)                65     Passion Fruit (Med)
16     Bullace (Plum)(Med)          66     Paw-paw (Dry)
17     Cabbage                      67     Peach (Med)
18     Carnation (Med)              68     Pea Pod (Med)
19     Carrot (Dry)                 69     Pear (Med)
20     Celery (Med)                 70     Pineapple (Med)
21     Chamomile                    71     Plum (Dry)
22     Charlock                     72     Pomegranate (Med)
23     Cherry (Sweet)               73     Port-Style Wine
24     Clover (Med)                 74     Prune (Sweet)
25     Coffee (Sweet)               75     Primrose (Med)
26     Colts Foot (Med)             76     Raspberry (Dry)
27     Cornmeal (Med)               77     Sake (Rice wine)
28     Cowslip  (Med)               78     Strawberry (Dry)
29     Crab Apple (Med)             79     Tangerine (Med)
30     Cranberry (Med)              80     Tea (Med)
31     Currant (Sweet)              81     Blackberry
32     Cyser (Med)                  82     Pumpkin (Sweet)
33     Damson (Med)                 83     Quince (Med)
34     Dandelion (Med)              84     Beaujolan
35     Date (Dry)                   85     Apple (Dry)
36     Dewberry                     86     Raisin (Med)
37     Elderberry (Med)             87     Apricot (Sweet)
38     Fig (Semi-Sweet)             88     Rhubarb (Med)
39     Folly (Dry)                  89     Rose Hip (Med)
40     Ginger (Sweet)               90     Rose Petal (Med)
41     Golden Rod (Med)             91     English Sack
42     Gooseberry (Dry)             92     Sarsaparilla (Sweet)
43     Grapefruit (Med)             93     Sloeberry (Med)
44     Greengage (Med)              94     Spruce
45     Guava (Med)                  95     Squash (Sweet)
46     Hock                         96     Sultana (Med)
47     Honey                        97     Tomato (Dry)
48     Hops                         98     Turnip (Sweet)
49     Loganberry (Sweet)           99     Wheat (Med)
50     Loquat (Sweet)               00     Yarrow (Med)

DM's remember that if you don't like the results you can
always pick the one you want.






Sub-Table C14: Unusual (Hard) (1d8)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Arrack
 2     Vodka
 3     Schnapps: Roll (1d4)
                 1  Peppermint
                 2  Peach
                 3  Pear
                 4  Apricot
 4     Tequila
 5     Tequila with Worm
 6     Mescal (Mezcal)
 7     Okolehao (Ti-Root / Tropical)
 8     Roll again or DM pick one


Sub-Table C15: SEE THE LIST OF POPULAR & STRANGE ALCOHOLS AMONGST
               THE WORLDS (elsewhere in this guide)


Sub-Table C16: Magical (Very Special) (1d100/2)

Die
Roll   Type
 1     Produces poor quality and/or cheap wine (Roll Again to
       determine wine type)
 2     Produces vinegar
 3     Produces spoilt wine (Roll Again to determine wine type)
 4     Makes non-Alcoholic wine (Roll Again to determine
       wine type)
 5     Slow production 1/2 speed (See Table A)
 6     Fast production twice the speed (See Table A)
 7     Produces Grape Juice
 8     Cursed: If a character fails the save vs. magic she/he
       will become magically trapped within the bottle to work
       there the rest of his/her life making wine.  (As per the
       1st ed magic user spell imprisonment, roll again to
       determine what wine this bottle creates.)
 9     Cursed: Same as above but no chance of escape ever.
       (Roll again for wine type.)
10     Special: as number 8 above.  But bottle is gateway to new
       world Character can wander around, explore and adventure
       (If DM is ready, then Roll again for wine type.)
11     Special: as above, but character was summoned to help
       solve a mystery or protect the world inside the bottle
       from evil. (Roll again for wine type.)
12     Special: as above, but character is given a quest to obtain
       some special item, normal or magical, to assist the winery.
       Could be a search for new farm tools or a search for a new
       grape stock for the world inside the bottle. (DM's option)
       (Roll again for wine type.)
13     After giving a command word, bottle will create as many
       drinking glasses as directed.  (Roll again to determine
       type.)
14     Bottle produces poison (DM's choice or try Reid's random poison
       generator).  Save and take one half of characters hit points as
       damage and lower constitution by 1.





15     Bottle produces a slow poison that Kills after a random number
       of does are taken.  If saves take half of characters
       hit points as damage and lower constitution by 1. Roll 1d4
                     1 -- Roll 1d12 doses before death
                     2 -- Roll 1d20 " "
                     3 -- Roll 2d20 "              "
                     4 -- Roll 2d10 " "
16     Wine also acts as healing potion. (Roll again for wine type.)
17     Wine also acts as a potion of extra healing.
       (Roll again to determine wine type.)
18     Wine will cure poison, as per the spell. (Roll again to
       determine wine type.)
19     Wine will cure disease, as per the spell. (Roll again to
       determine wine type.)
20     Wine fulfills all nutritional requirements of a normal
       meal. (Roll again to determine wine type.)
21     Create Great Feast: Once a day, on command, the bottle
       will create a great feast for up to 20 persons.  If
       necessary, all plates, tables, and chairs will be provided.
       The meal will be excellent, and if necessary the
       surrounding area will change to fit the needs of a great
       dinner.  This will include, if appropriate, decorations and
       waiters/cooks.  The meal will match the type of wine served
       from the magic bottle. (Roll on either the Red or White
       wine list.)
               Red Wine: Red meat, Game and sometimes chicken.
                (ie Roast beef, pork, lamb, steak, duck, goose,
                 turkey, pheasant, venison.)
               White Wine: Chicken, Fish and White Meat.
                (ie Oysters, fish, fowl, turkey, vegetarian
                 dinners.)
22     A Great Feast, but after 2-4 hours later every will be
       hungry again.
23     A Great Feast, but everyone who ate must save vs. poison or
       fall into a deep sleep for eight (8) hours.
24     A Great Feast but everyone who ate must save vs. magic or
       be teleported to a random location 1d4 X 100 miles away.
25     Wine is produced at real time.  The bottle will experience
       all the same seasons that are occurring in the outside
       world.  If it is winter outside, it will be winter in the
       bottle.  If it is raining outside the bottle, it is raining
       inside the bottle.  There will only be one full wine
       bottle per year with this bottle and after that you must
       wait for next season for a bottle full.  No wine is made
       at any other time.  The wine from this bottle will always
       be the very, very best.  It is rumored that there were only
       one or two of these made and that they were the original
       bottles that inspired Chandon.  If this is not true then
       they are the early proto-types or rejects created as a mage
       learned how to master the process of constructing the magic
       bottles.
26-50  Nothing special start over or DM pick one.  Room was left for
       expansion.


I used as background and souse material the following books:
   Rosalind Cooper's, _The Wine Book_, 1981.
   Jeff Cox's, _From Vines to Wines_, 1992.
   Karl M. Herstein and Morris B. Jacobs, _Chemistry and Technology
     of Wines and Liquors_, 1948.
   William Mares, _Making Beer_, 1992.
   Leo Zanelli, _Beer and Wine Making an Illustrated Dictionary_,
     1979.


     The magic bottle is (C) copyright Ronald Jones 1993 all rights
reserved. Permission is granted for free distribution if credit is
dully given and no profit made. Permission is granted for editing for
inclusion in this guide.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                      DIONYSUS'S MOLTOV COCKTAILS


                     Let us drink the juice divine,
                   the gift of Bacchus, God of wine!

                                                  --- Anon


     These small, glass flasks are filled with wondrous potions of the
exploding kind. They have a cloth stopper in the opening. They are the
work of 'Irnar the chaotic mage (protege Morgan Blackheart of the
Chaotic Realm). Sometimes while trying to manufacture a potion,
'Irnar's mind wanders to more intoxicating thoughts (like where he
should go for a good drink tonight). In fact sometimes he is
intoxicated while creating and the actual potion isn't quite what he
wants. He sells such "rejects" to the local apothecary (or nearest pub)
at discount prices (which are still quite high due to the power of the
Cocktail). The dealers then sell the flasks to foolish adventurers.
They advertise the flasks as "Gifts from the Wine God", "Missile
Weapons for the Serious Drinker", "If You Like Chaos...", and "Good To
The Last Drop". Then, the dealers inflate the price and make a bundle.
The flasks are available infrequently and at high cost.
     These flasks are never predictable in their effects. To use them,
one must light the cloth at the opening of the flask and hurl the flask
at the intended victim. Roll 1d30. Flasks may be used only once. A
successful hit from an attack roll must be made to initiate an effect
unless stated otherwise. They do not do damage unless stated otherwise.
Drinking the contents of the flask will produce immediate heavy
intoxication and severe heartburn.
     Mainly drunk, chaotic characters use the flasks. Also, characters
with a low wisdom tend to use them a lot more that others.

Effects:

1) The flask is reflected back at the thrower. Roll again to see the
effects to the thrower ignoring this result.

2) The victim suffers 2d6 points of damage.

3) The victim's Constitution is increased by 1d6 to a max. of 18
for 1d4 days.

4) The victim's Strength is increased by 1d10 to a max. of 18 for
1d4 days.

5) The victim immediately enters a state of slight intoxication.

6) The victim immediately enters a state of moderate intoxication.

7) The victim immediately enters a state of great intoxication.

8) The victim immediately enters a comatose state of intoxication.
"Good night."

9) The victim suffers the effects of a hangover. Roll on the Hangover
Effects Table.

10) The victim suffers the effects of moonmelons ("Moonmelons,
Moonshine, Mooncreatures, Oh My!" section).

11) The victim becomes "drunk on love". Therefore, he/she is affected
as if greatly intoxicated for 1d4 days and will chase after attractive
people of the opposite sex.

12) The victim's alcohol addiction amount level becomes 8.

13) The victim's alcohol addiction drinking level becomes 8.

14) The victim develops Dipsomania insanity ("Crazy Drunk" section).

15) The victim transforms into an alcohol dragon within 1d6 turns which
will last for 1d4 years.

16) The victim begins dancing for 1d4+1 rounds, complete with feet
shuffling and tapping. This dance makes it impossible for the victim to
do anything other than caper and prance; this cavorting worsens the
Armor Class of the victim by -4, makes saving throws impossible except
on a roll of 20, and negates any consideration of a shield.

17) The victim goes into a melancholy depression for 1d4 days during
which he/she feels compelled to drink constantly and wallow in his/her
sorrows.

18) The victim attracts giant leeches for 1d4 days.

19) The victim will seek out a cleric of a god of wine, alcohol, or
pleasure and make a hefty donation. This donation could be monetary or
in the form of free work.

20) The victim and his party will be transported to a place "where
everybody knows your name, and your friends they're glad you came...".
That's right, the characters are in the famous Cheers bar as seen on
television (NBC, Thursday 9:00 PM), but it isn't a show, its a real bar
found in Boston. They will be there for one day.

21) The flask bursts into a spectacular display of dancing lights (as
the spell). Within 1d6 turns Lohocla The Guardian Of Alcohol will
appear.

22) The flask turns into a large, unbreakable bottle of an alcoholic
beverage (roll on tables of "Getting to Know Your Booze" section).

23) The flask turns into a large, unbreakable bottle of a special
alcoholic beverage (roll on tables of "Popular & Strange Alcohols
Amongst the Worlds" section).

24) The flask turns into an illusion of 2d10 pink elephants that dance
around the victim for 10 rounds before marching away.

25) Upon contact, the flask explodes (no damage) into 4d20+20 olives.

26) The flask turns into a benign Djinn with a great knowledge of a
alcohol equal to a brewer or wine-maker. The Djinn will constantly
follow the victim around reciting recipes, suggesting great drinks,
telling of famous pubs and taverns, trying to get the character to take
up alcohol making as a career rather than adventuring, and just being a
nuisance.

27) The flask falls short of the victim and begins to spin extremely
fast for 1 round. Suddenly, a bright flash will blind everybody for
another round (no saves). During which, three "bud" girls, a large
cooler containing bottles and cans of beer, a 10' X 10' hot tub, a
magical stereo system playing rock n' roll music, and a gas grill with
steaks cooking on it appear. All are permanent. The DM may have to come
up with stats for the "bud" girls if the victim wants to keep them
(comeliness and charisma are always extremely high).

28) The flask bursts into a fireball doing 6d6 damage.

29) The flask turns into a rose upon contact.

30) The flask splits into two flasks that remain on course at the
intended victim. Roll twice on this table ignoring this result.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                           WHAT A CUTE RODENT


Golden Spirit Hamster

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitaire or Pack
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Herbivores
INTELLIGENCE: Animal (1)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1-20
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVEMENT: 15
HIT DICE: 1/4
THAC0: 20
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1/2
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Nil
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: T (5' long)
MORALE: Unreliable (2-4)
XP VALUE: 5

     The Golden Spirit Hamster is a small rodent with short legs and a
small bobtail, characteristics of an animal that spends most of its
active life underground; however it is not strictly subterranean. The
Golden Spirit Hamster has a brown to gold color is about 5 inches long
and weighs about 1/4 pounds.

Combat: Golden Spirit Hamsters normally flee from anything bigger then
themselves. Trapped Golden Spirit Hamsters will bite to survive and
hopefully flee.

Habitat/Society: The main concern to a Golden Spirit Hamster is food.
The Golden Spirit Hamster thrives on a diet of green vegetables and
various grains. They cram their food into cheek pouches and later store
it in their dens.
     Interestingly enough, the Golden Spirit Hamster's great love is
alcohol even in preference to water. In fact, "spirit" in its name
refers to the hamster's great love for alcohol and not to any religious
or undead connection.

     The Golden Spirit Hamster has the unique characteristic of having
a huge capacity for alcohol being able to drink its body weight in
alcohol per day (although it expends about the same amount as well).
Furthermore, the Golden Spirit Hamster has an immunity to alcohol
which has no dire consequences (i.e. intoxication, hang-overs,
alcoholism) on the hamster as it does to other mammals.
    The hair of the hamster becomes more beautiful as he consumes
alcohol turning from brown to a deep golden color. The hair becomes
more golden, more fluffy, and more silky. In fact, a well "feed"
hamster's pelt can fetch a few platinum pieces.
     Another side-effect to drinking alcohol causes the Golden Spirit
Hamster to purr. The purr is very soothing, relaxing, calming, and
hypnotic. A person becomes very peaceful and stress free. A person's
morale is modified by +5.
     The Golden Spirit Hamster's love of alcohol can make it quite a
pest especially to those that store large quantities of alcohol. Wood
is no barrier to the hamster and he will gnaw his way through wood to
get to alcohol. With their high and quick reproduction (see Ecology),
the hamster's can infest an area and become quite the pests destroying
barrels and barrels of alcohol. There are few things worse then finding
beautiful, golden, purring hamsters at the bottom of a empty tun (250
gallon capacity) of wine.
     On the other hand, the Golden Spirit Hamster is a popular pet
because it is clean and relatively odorless, easy to take care of, and
safe to handle. Many tavern patrons have enjoyed buying a beer or glass
of wine for the Golden Spirit Hamsters caged at the bar.
     Golden Spirit Hamsters must be kept in non-wood cages, preferably
with solid bottoms, or they will gnaw their way out. The floor of the
cage should be covered with sawdust, wood shavings, and/or straw.
     In nature, the Golden Spirit Hamster makes its home in underground
den where it is safe from attack by predatory birds such as hawks and
owls.
     During cold times like the winter months, the Golden Spirit
Hamster can reach a semi-dormant state but does not go into complete
hibernation.

Ecology: A female can have four to five litters of six to eighteen
young each year after a short gestation period of six weeks. The life-
span of the animals rarely exceeds three years.
     Natural enemies to the Golden Spirit Hamsters are birds of prey,
felines, and larger carnivorous rodents.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                HEY BARTENDER, THERE'S A FISH IN MY BEER


Herlinte (HER-lin-tay)

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Water, fresh streams, beer
ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Omnivore
INTELLIGENCE: Animal (1)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Nil
NUMBER APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 7 (Special)
MOVEMENT: Sw 18
HIT DICE: 1
THAC0: Special
NO. OF ATTACKS: Special
DAMAGE/ATTACK: Death
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Poisonous explosion
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: T
MORALE: Unsteady (4)
XP VALUE: 100

     The Herlinte are a race of tiny, silver fish, about 3", that
inhabit the rivers. They are skinny, and cannot be seen without magical
aide when in water.

Combat: If swallowed with alcohol they will survive as long as the
character remains intoxicated. When he sobers up, the fish or its young
(if it lays eggs inside the person), will explode killing the person.
      When swallowed with no alcohol, they will immediately explode in
the stomach, causing death.
     As for their small size, they are impossible to hit without a
fishing NWP, and with it a successful hit roll must be rolled and a
prof. check must succeed. When it is hit, however, and killed, it will
explode in poison, ruining the beer and the cup. The poison is lethal
in connection with ANY living tissues, (you could put it on a monster
while it is sleeping and shoot it, killing it and the monster) but can
be cured with a dose of pure water, which neutralizes the poison.

Habitat/Society: When out of water, they look like small guppies. They
are commonly found on the bottom of rivers, sleeping.
      In the beginning, they were only found in one lake of a cold
climate (DM's should create a northern lake in his campaign world),
which was made solely from alcohol and pure water. Most adventurers
would stop at that lake and take a drink. Then the fish would enter the
body of the poor fellow when they drank, and when the alcohol wore out
of the fish died, causing a poisonous explosion, rupturing the
bloodstream and contaminating it with poison.
     One adventurer discovered the fish and netted them all, using a
magical fishing device. He flushed them into the nearest river. The
lake of alcohol, it seemed, depended on the fish for the alcohol to
survive, so it turned into a normal lake, and the fish couldn't live
without the alcohol so they hibernate along the river's floors.
     Commonly, bartenders keep a jar of them, in river water, to drop
in an annoying person's alcohol drink. After that person leaves, he
will eventually be poisoned. The fish only live when they are in beer,
and without beer they eventually die and explode, except when in water,
which causes hibernation.

Ecology: Herlinte are solitary creatures who only meet to breed which
they can only do when some alcohol is present. The alcohol is also
required when laying eggs (typically 5d6 eggs). A big danger is a
swallowed fish that lays eggs in the victim. The eggs enter the
bloodstream of the person where they eventually hatch.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------













                     HAVE A PICNIC WITH THESE ANTS


Red Ant, Giant Alcohol
Black Ant, Giant Alcohol

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Temperate/Forest, hills, and plains
FREQUENCY: Very Rare
ORGANIZATION: Colony
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Omnivore
INTELLIGENCE: Black: Animal (1)
              Red: Semi-intelligent/Animal (2)
TREASURE: Q (x3), S and Special
ALIGNMENT: Nil (Neutral)
NO. APPEARING: 1-100
ARMOR CLASS: 3
MOVEMENT: 18
HIT DICE: 2 (worker), 3 (warrior)
THAC0: 16
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-6 (worker), 2-8 (warrior)
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: T (2' long)
MORALE: Average (9)
XP VALUE: 35 (Worker), 175 (Warrior)

     Giant Alcohol Ants are very similar to other types of giant ants
(MC2) with some different and unique feature. In red ant colonies, the
\ood storage ants produce alcohol from the food (grains or fruits) it
is fed. The red ants constantly feed from these storage ants and do not
save it for when other types of food are scares. The black giant ant
actually builds small cisterns for holding fermented plant matter, this
is how they grow their food. They live on special algae and lichens
that only grow when exposed to alcohol.

Combat: Is mostly the same as for normal giant ants. But the sting of
an alcohol ant injects alcohol into its victim. To see where the
alcohol comes from see below. But after the second bite any character
or monster must save vs. poison or become intoxicated. If a character
fails a save then all other failed saves have a cumulative effect on
the character. So on the first failed save a creature or character
becomes slightly intoxicated, on the second failed save they become
mildly intoxicated, after the third failed save the person becomes
greatly intoxicated. Finally if a forth save is failed an alcoholic
coma is induced. The warriors are able to ingest the alcohol from the
feeding ants or from the storage cisterns and use it in their stingers.

Habitat/Society: Mostly the same as for Giant ants. Except that alcohol
ants prefer to nest in areas where there is easy access to fermentable
materials (grains or fruits). A DM will have to determine what kind of
alcohol is produced, by what is available to the ants. Also, red ants
will feed from the storage ants on a regular basis and not just when
there is a shortage of food. Hence the alcoholic nature of a warriors
sting. It is believed by some that the red alcohol ant is slightly
smarter than the black. Because of the way the red ant builds special
rooms to ferment alcohol. The alcohol is then moved to another room
where it is used to grow the ants crops of molds, fungi and algae. The
appearance of intelligence comes from the selective way the red ants
gathers fruits and grains. They are very selective, almost attempting
to keep from mixing what makes different types of alcohol. Both types
of ants could be a problem to some farmers but others have been able to
put this small intrusion to good use by harvesting some of the wine
from the ants.

Ecology: Same as for giant ants. Except the meat of these ants (both
red and black) is more prized as a delicacy since the meat of the giant
alcohol ant can be intoxicating. The meat of three ants has the same
alcohol content as one drink. The capture of a live red storage ant
would be very valuable if a way was found to keep it alive and
producing alcohol. It is possible that some of these ants might have
been domesticated for their alcohol producing abilities. Especially for
the red ant, since a person could tap the wine cistern without
disturbing the ants and use or sell the alcohol. If domesticated in
some fashion, it would be possible to control to some degree the type
of alcohol produced by providing the food and or forage that the ants
require. There is a greater chance of there being several giant ant
lions in the vicinity, since they prize the unique taste of the alcohol
ant.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                          THE BEST, THE BEAST


You are just settling down into your sleeping roll after a hard day of
adventuring when suddenly you hear a loud stomping. From no where a
large reptilian creature busts through the trees. You begin to draw
your sword, but its to late. The beast has just sunken his sharp teeth
into your torso...


Milwaukee, The Beast

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Carnivorous
INTELLIGENCE: Non-
TREASURE: Special
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 2
MOVEMENT: 5
HIT DICE: 5
THAC0: 15
NO. OF ATTACKS: 4 (claw/claw/bite/tail)
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4/1-4/1-8/1-6
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Special
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Special
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: L (10' tall)
MORALE: Special
XP VALUE: 500

     The milwaukee, also known as The Beast by primitive cultures, is a
fearsome creature descended from the giant carnivorous dinosaurs, a
brother to the dreaded Bonesnapper, and a nephew to the alcohol dragon.
Known for its savage ferocity, awesome power, and mental stupidity.
     Milwaukees grow to a height of ten feet tall and can weigh as much
as 1000 pounds. Their non-scaled hide is thick and leathery. They are a
dark golden brown with fiery red eyes.

Combat: A foolish opponent, the milwaukee charges at its nearest
opponent. If attacked from another direction, the milwaukee spins about
and purses its new adversary.
     The milwaukee's main attack is a powerful bite with its mighty
jaws and sharp teeth. A successful bite inflicts 1d8 points of damage.
Against the same person the milwaukee bites, it can slice with its
claws for 1d4 points of damage per claw.
     In the same round the milwaukee can attack another opponent with a
large sweep of its long muscular tail for 1d6 points of damage.
     A milwaukee has an involuntary ability to release an intoxicating
gas. It begins one round after the milwaukee gets agitated and lasts 10
rounds. The golden, transparent gas covers a 25' area around the
milwaukee. It causes no damage, but characters in the area enter a
state of great intoxication for 1d10 rounds (no saving throw). Fumes
from the gas will linger for 2d10 rounds, so characters should take
precautions to avoid it's effects.
     Milwaukees always fight to the death, not intelligent enough or
emotionally stable enough to retreat.

Habit/Society: Milwaukees are nomadic, solitary creatures and will only
leave their isolation to mate.
     Milwaukees have a lust for alcohol. They can smell fermented foods
and drinks up to 2500 feet. When they do, Milwaukees enter into a
frenzy of excitement and will seek out the source and consume it as
quickly as possible. This could become real dangerous if a milwaukee
gets near a town, city, or worse: a vineyard.

Ecology: Milwaukees are dangerous predators because of their great
strength and hunger. For this reason, despite their low intelligence,
they tend to dominant carnivores in their territories.
      As lizard men find the flesh of bonesnappers tasty, they love the
taste of milwaukees mainly because it is intoxicating. Any race can get
drunk off of the flesh of a milwaukee. Every pound of milwaukee flesh
is equal to one serving of liquor.
     The blood of a milwaukee is highly poisonous when consumed. A
person consuming an ounce of milwaukee blood must save vs. poison.
Failure cause 2d20+10 points of damage. Success cause (2d20+10)/2
points of damage. It may seem that this poison would be very valuable.
Unfortunately, an ounce of blood gives off a powerful odor. The odor
smells like fermenting hops and barley and will overwhelm anybody
within 10 feet of it. Thus, few assassins can slip this poison into a
goblet because no person would drink from it given the putrid smell.
Not even diluting the poison can remove or lessen the odor.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           WOOF, WOOF, HICCUP


Boozehound

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitary or Pack
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Omnivore
INTELLIGENCE: Semi- (2-4)
TREASURE: Special
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good
NO. APPEARING: Variable
ARMOR CLASS: 5
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 4
THAC0: 17
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Nil
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Teleportation
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: M
MORALE: Steady (11-12)
XP VALUE: 250

     The boozehound is a breed of dog with a very keen sense of smell
for alcohol. Unlike its cousin the bloodhound which doesn't have a
fondness for blood, the boozehound has an affection for booze (i.e.
alcohol).
     The boozehound weighs about ninety pounds. The usual color is
black with golden-brown markings. The head is large, with long drooping
ears, and many wrinkles on the face. The skull is high and round.
     This hound's very sensitive nose enables it to detect alcohol. A
boozehound can smell even small traces of alcohol up to 1000 feet away.
And of course, it will want to seek out such alcohol for consumption.
    A boozehound has a great fondness for alcohol. Whenever it gets a
chance to drink alcohol, a boozehound will do so. When determining
intoxication levels, the boozehound has a Constitution of 1d6+12.
     Unfortunately, as a boozehound becomes intoxicated it begins to
involuntarily, randomly blink (teleport a short distance). When in a
state of slight intoxication, a boozehound blinks every 1d8 rounds.
When in a state of moderate intoxication, a boozehound blinks every 1d6
rounds. When in a state of great intoxication, a boozehound blinks
every 1d4 rounds. When in a state of comatose intoxication, a
boozehound blinks every 1d2 rounds. Roll after each blink. To determine
where the dog teleports, roll a 4-sided die: 1 = in front, 2 = to the
left, 3 = to the right, 4 = in back. The distance teleported is 1d4
feet while slightly intoxicated, 1d6 feet while moderately intoxicated,
1d8 feet while greatly intoxicated, 1d12 feet while comatose. Blinking
is an innate power and the animal will never appear inside a space
occupied by a solid object.
     This involuntary blink can become quite comical as a drunk
boozehound begins popping around as it lies down to take a nap, or as
the boozehound goes for a little stroll but keeps blinking and never
quite reaches its destination.
     A boozehound does not suffer the effects of a hangover. All other
recovery from intoxication is normal.

Combat: Boozehounds are non-vicious creatures. When forced to fight,
they bite for 1d4 points of damage. If given a constant supply of
alcohol, a boozehound becomes extremely docile and lazy.

Habit/Society: Boozehounds do not need alcohol to live, but without it
there is no reason for them to live. A boozehound usually roams the
world with a pack of boozehounds searching for civilization where there
is always an ample supply of alcohol. Then its common for a boozehound
to take up residence with an owner (probably one that owns a tavern or
inn). Domesticating a wild roaming boozehound is easy. It only needs to
be house broken, and this can be quite simple if the punishment-reward
system is used (with alcohol of course). There isn't much more
domesticating left to do because there is very little the boozehound
does except drink and eat.
     The only place in the wild where boozehounds are content to live
are the wild-magic power nodes where magical alcohol elixirs such as
Whimsy Wine (q.v. Popular & Strange Alcohols Amongst the Worlds) are
naturally created.

Ecology: Boozehounds seem to be related to bloodhounds and blink dogs,
but nobody knows for sure.


                         A LITTLE WORM CAN'T HURT

Boozeworm

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Special
INTELLIGENCE: Non- (0)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1-2
ARMOR CLASS: 2
MOVEMENT: 12, Br 3
HIT DICE: 1/4 (2 hit points)
THAC0: 20
NO. OF ATTACKS: Nil
DAMAGE/ATTACK: Nil
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Special
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Special
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: T (1 inch long)
MORALE: Special
XP VALUE: 50

     This small worm is greatly feared by almost all people because it
is attracted to alcohol. It can smell alcohol of any type at a distance
of 100 feet.
     Normally a dark brown, a boozeworm's chameleon-like abilities
enable it to instinctively blend into any background. Its higher Armor
Class is due to its speed and agility. If found motionless the
boozeworm is Armor Class 9.
     A boozeworm can survive while submerged in liquids as easily as it
can in air.

Combat: The boozeworm initially imposes a -7 on its surprise rolls of
adventurers because of its color-changing ability. If the victim can
see invisible things, the boozeworm's modifier is reduced to -4. Note
that these chances apply even to creatures normally hard to surprise
(like rangers and monks), because of its small size, speed (very great
in proportion to its size), and inoffensive nature. If the boozeworm
does initially gain surprise, it may discover (25%) on the victim's
body. Otherwise, it will remain unnoticed unless the victim hears the
boozeworm's noisy slurping (base of 50% chance per round). A feeding
boozeworm is motionless until attacked. After any attack it will flee
(if possible) by first jumping 10 feet and then crawling away at top
speed.
     The biggest danger of a boozeworm is when it is residing in a cup,
mug, goblet, or other drinking vessel. If a person doesn't detect the
boozeworm, then there is a 75% chance that the boozeworm will be
consumed by the person. Once the boozeworm is inside the victim, it can
burrow its way out of the victim causing 1d20 points of internal
damage. After which, it will jump away from the victim in search of
more alcohol.
     A boozeworm can burrow through dead wood at a rate of 3 inches per
round. A boozeworm can consume living material but cannot gain
nourishment from it. Only alcohol can nourish a boozeworm.
     To survive a boozeworm consumes alcohol. A boozeworm can consume 2
ounces of alcohol per round. The amount of alcohol a boozeworm can take
in is unlimited but most won't drink more that a gallon a day.
Actually, a boozeworm can consume a gallon in just over an hour (64
minutes), but prefers to drink leisurely. The boozeworm must have a
minimum of 40 ounces of alcohol a week or it will die.
Habit/Society: A boozeworm lair is always a tavern, storeroom,
distillery, breweries, wineries, or any other place where alcohol is
found.
     A breeding pair of boozeworms lay 80 eggs; about half of these
hatch a month later. The larvae have less than hour to find alcohol
nourishment, or they die. When first hatched, the larvae are pure
white, but they develop their dark brown color from ingesting the soft
woods that most alcohol is contained in. The average life-span of a
boozeworm is two to three years. A boozeworm breeds only once in its
lifetime, after which it dies.
     When an adventurer is careless enough to encounter a new breed of
boozeworm larvae, he can inflict incredible damage by carrying them
unwittingly with him to other places. A handful of larvae in a jug of
wine that is carried down a city street can find many new homes in the
many taverns, inns, distilleries, wineries, breweries, and powerful
person's personal stock.

Ecology: A boozeworm is a relative to the bookworm. Both are dangerous:
the boozeworm when swallowed, the bookworm when near magical tomes.
Sages don't know how many more variants of strange worms exist, but if
there are more out there then it can't be good.
     A boozeworm will always be attracted to the largest volume of
alcohol in an area.
     Because of its unusual diet, the boozeworm is a valuable
ingredient in various magical, intoxicating elixirs. The most popular
is Tequila. Tequila is a potent alcohol with a dead boozeworm floating
in the bottom. Salt, shake, a little lick of lime...
     The boozeworm can be a very useful tool under the right
circumstances. Many alcohol establishments have been put out of
business by competitors who have carefully places boozeworms in the
booze. Such use of boozeworms is both difficult and dangerous:
difficult because it is hard to keep a boozeworm alive under captivity,
and dangerous because the boozeworm, once released, may not leave its
owner. Releasing a boozeworm at the opponent's place and then having it
follow you home is an unpleasant experience at best.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


        A MONK'S BEST FRIEND AND A LIFE SAVER: THE SAINT BERNARD


You must be under ten feet of snow by now. The avalanche came out of
nowhere and left you buried. Its dark, its cold, theres no hope...
Suddenly, you hear something digging. In a few minutes you see the cute
face of a dog. He licks your face and then helps you get out of the
hole he has dug. A small barrel tied to contains Brandy which warms
your stomach. As you continue to drink, the dog begins to bark. In a
few moments, three men in robes come walking over the hill.


Dog, Saint Bernard

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: arctic, subarctic, mountain or Any
FREQUENCY: Common
ORGANIZATION: Solitary or Pack
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Omnivorous
INTELLIGENCE: Semi- (2-4)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good
NO. APPEARING: Variable


ARMOR CLASS: 6
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 2+2
THAC0: 19
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-8 (2d4)
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Nil
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: M
MORALE: Average (9-10)
XP VALUE: 65

     The Saint Bernard is a large intelligent dog that has become
famous for rescuing lost travelers. The dog gets its name from the fact
that it was developed by a group of monks in the monastery of Saint
Bernard, in the Alps of Switzerland. Travel in the Alps was mainly foot
travel. Travelers often lost their way, or became buried in sudden
snowdrifts or snowstorms. The Saint Bernard was trained to rescue such
persons. With its wonderful sense of smell, the Saint Bernard could
find persons who were buried several feet under the snow. After it had
found the lost traveler, it called out for help by barking loudly.
After the rescuers came, the Saint Bernard led them back to the
monastery.
     Any AD&D world could have Saint Bernards serve the same function
as they did on Earth. A monastery of clerics found in an arctic,
subarctic, or mountain climate and terrain could be developed to rescue
travelers. Also, Saint Bernards can be valued watchdogs for anybody.
Furthermore, they are excellent guide dogs and pets.
     Saint Bernards don't always go by this name amongst the various
worlds especially in similar situations (i.e. snowy area where
clerics/monks of a monastery help travelers with the use of the dogs).
Some alternate names are:

Name           World     Campaign            Notes
St. Cuthbert   Oerth     Greyhawk            the name alone says it all
Fharlanghn     Oerth     Greyhawk            god of travel
Ilmater        Realms    Forgotten Realms    crying god of suffering
Majere         Krynn     DragonLance         favorite god of monks
Mishakal       Krynn     DragonLance         goddess of healing

     If used as a rescuer, a Saint Bernard is generally equipped with a
small barrel tied around its neck. The barrel tends to contain strong
alcohol, usually brandy, to warm the endangered person. Some clerics
have created a special potion that cures serious wounds while still
keeping the strong alcohol taste and effects.
     A Saint Bernard is strong and very tall, measuring two to two and
a half feet from the shoulder to the ground. It weighs from 140 to 220
pounds, and is one of the heaviest of all dogs. The dog has a red and
white body with some black at the head. Its fur may be long but
typically it is short. The Saint Bernard has a large, square head, a
short muzzle, and a short strong neck. It has a loud, frightening bark.

Combat: When confronted in combat, a Saint Bernard bites for 2d4 points
of damage.

Habit/Society: The Saint Bernard is very loyal and very gentle, particularly to children and the helpless. But it can be the fierce watchdog and protector at the same time. The sad-looking Saint Bernard is a large, burly dog, noted for its gentle disposition. The main problem of a Saint Bernard is its appetite. It's daily snack includes as much of six pounds of meat.

Ecology: Saint Bernards are omnivorous combining hunting with forging.
They are typical of the dog family.
I THINK I SAW A PINK ELEPHANT!!!


Elephant, Pink

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Subtropical to Tropical jungles and plains
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Dawn, dusk, early morning, and early evening
DIET: Herbivore
INTELLIGENCE: Semi-
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1-12
ARMOR CLASS: 6
MOVEMENT: 15
HIT DICE: 11
THAC0: 10
NO. OF ATTACKS: 5 (tusk/tusk/trunk/foot/foot)
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 2-16/2-16/2-12/2-12/2-12
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Special
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: L (11' tall)
MORALE: Unsteady (7)
XP VALUE: 5000

     One of the most exotic and rare beasts of the jungle, the pink
elephant is a prize just to look at let alone capture.
     Pink elephants have thick, baggy pink hides, covered with sparse
and very coarse tufts of pink hair. The elephant's most renowned
feature is its trunk, which it uses as a grasping limb.

Combat: An elephant can make up to five attacks at one time in a
battle. It can do stabbing damage of 2d8 points with each of its two
tusks; constricting damage of 2d6 points with its trunk; and 2d6 points
of trampling damage with each of its front feet. No single opponent can
be subject to more than two of these attacks at any one time. However,
the elephant can battle up to six man-sized opponents at one time.
     A pink elephant has the ability to shoot a bright spray (5' X 25'
X 25' wedge) of dazzling multiple colors from its trunk. From one eight
creatures within the area are affected in order of increasing distance
from the target. All creatures of 7th level or 7 hit dice or more are
entitled to a saving throw vs. spell. Blind or unseeing creatures are
not affected by the spell. Creatures not allowed or failing saving
throws, and whose hit dice or levels are less than or equal to the 11,
are struck unconscious for 2d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels 12
or 13 are blinded for 1d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels greater
than 13 are stunned (reeling and unable to think or act coherently) for
one round.
     The pink elephant has an involuntary defense. When a pink elephant
gets nervous, he gets gas. The elephant will begin burping and farting
one round after getting nervous. These actions do not hinder the
elephant in any way (i.e. combat, movement, etc.). They do create pink
gas bubbles, roughly six inches in diameter. 5d4 pink bubbles will come
out of his mouth per round and 10d4 pink bubbles will come out of the
other end per round. The elephant continues to produce bubbles until no
longer nervous (DM's decision). If more than 100 bubbles are floating
about then they reduce the visibility ranges of all types of vision
(including infravison) to 5 feet. A strong wind such as the wind
produced from the gust of wind spell, can blow the bubbles away. Some
bright adventurers might want to bust the bubbles. When a character
busts a bubble, he must make a saving throw vs. poison. Failure
indicates that he sucked in the gaseous fumes and he enters a state of
slight intoxication. Continuing to bust bubbles and fail saving throws
causes the character to go up to a state of moderate intoxication, then
state of great intoxication, then state of comatose intoxication.

Habit/Society: Pink elephants are peaceful creatures that travel in a
herd. The herd is made up of both male and female elephants, as well as
their young. If a herd of ten or more elephants is encountered, there
will be 1d4 young, from 20% to 70% mature, with the group. In the herd,
a clear hierarchy exists, with the older males in a clear position of
dominance. Pink elephant herds never have "rogues" leave the herd.

Ecology: Where the pink elephants fit into the grand scheme of nature
is unknown. They are considered to be royalty with respect to the
elephant species. They might even be deities of the elephants, although
this theory is left to much debate by sages (who should find better
things to do with their time).
     A pink elephant captured young becomes a prized possession of
royalty.  They are not used as beasts of burden but are rather treated
as magical beasts with a divine karma.
     Pink elephant tusks are worth 500 to 3000 gold pieces each, or
about 20 gp per pound. Tusks are white with a pink tint. Powered ivory
of the pink elephant is used in many magical concoctions, mainly those
of a cosmetic nature. However, powered ivory of the pink elephant has
been used as an alcohol additive (q.v. Alcohol Additives) called Pink
Sweet Enricher. This alcohol additive causes any alcohol created from a
fruit to develop a fruitier taste and become excellent in quality no
matter what the quality was before.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


             A HORSE IS A HORSE OF COURSE: THE CLYDESDALES


Horse, Clydesdale

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any non-
FREQUENCY: Common
ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Herbivore
INTELLIGENCE: Animal (1)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVEMENT: 14
HIT DICE: 3+3
THAC0: 17
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-4
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Nil
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: L (16 to 17 hands OR 5 feet to 6 feet)
MORALE: Unsteady (5-7)
XP VALUE: 75

     The best draft horse in most lands is the Clydesdale horse. Known
for its magnificent beauty and equally magnificent strength, Clydesdale
horses are loved by those few merchants and travelers who can afford
this majestic beast. Clydesdale horses can be trained as war horses but
few warriors, especially paladins, will belittle themselves by riding a
draft horse; no matter how grand, it is still a draft horse.
     Clydesdale horses are strong, sturdy draft horses (see Horse,
MC1). They are faster than the typical draft horse and can haul more
weight than the typical draft horse. A Clydesdale weighs 1500 to 2000
pounds. Clydesdales' colors are bay, brown, black, chestnut, roan, or
gray (becomes lighter colored with age and may finally turn white).
They have white straps on the face, and white legs to knees and hocks.

Combat: Clydesdales fight only when cornered. They attack with a bite
that does 1d4 points of damage.
     A Clydesdale can be trained as a war horse. A Clydesdale war
horse has 3 attacks (bite/hoof/hoof) for 1d8 points of damage each.
For more information on war horses see MC1 under the heading HORSE.
     A Clydesdale can charge causing the victim to make a save vs.
petrifaction or become petrified by the sight of such a large horse
charging. If the save is successful, the victim must make a moral check
at -1 or flee.

Habit/Society: Mares give birth to a single foal which will mature in
two years. During this period the foal will stay as close to the mother
at all times.
     In the wild a herd of Clydesdales will consist mostly of females
and immature male horses.  There will usually be only one dominate male
horse. Herds are usually lead by a mature female or matriarch.  This
dominance will often continue into domestication, with female horses
being a team leader.
     Clydesdales can carry great weights for long periods of time.
A Clydesdale's normal carrying capacity is 270. A Clydesdale's
encumbered, half-speed load is 400. A Clydesdale's fully encumbered,
1/3 movement load is 530.

Ecology: Clydesdales feed on food typical of all horses. Their favorite
food is grain with a touch of honey.


Horse, Volatilis Clydesdale

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Temperate and subtropical forests
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Herbivore
INTELLIGENCE: Animal (1)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good
NO. APPEARING: 5-50
ARMOR CLASS: 6
MOVEMENT: 14, FL 28 (C, D mounted)
HIT DICE: 4
THAC0: 17
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-8/1-8/1-4
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Dive, rear kick
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Nil
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: L (16 to 17 hands OR 5 feet to 6 feet)
MORALE: Steady (11)
XP VALUE: 150

     Volatilis Clydesdale horses are magnificent flying beasts that
charge through the air with their powerful hooves.
     Volatilis Clydesdale horses appear as slightly larger Clydesdale
Horses. A Volatilis Clydesdale has no wings but has the power of fight.
Although not thoroughly understood, a Volatilis Clydesdale can leave
the ground at will and continue on through the air as long as it keeps
moving (the horse must continue to move its legs, whether running or
trotting, or it will plummet to the ground). When a Volatilis
Clydesdale moves through air, strange white lightening sparks from its
hooves. A magnificent view in a dark sky. When a herd of Volatilis
Clydesdales take to the sky, the sound of thunder rips through the
heavens.

Combat: A Volatilis Clydesdale attacks with its hooves and teeth. It
can attack an opponent who is behind it with its rear hooves,
inflicting 2-12 points of damage, but it cannot use any of its other
attacks in that round. A Volatilis Clydesdale can also charge downward
at an opponent from heights of 50 feet or higher and use its hoof
attacks, each attack roll is +2 and does double damage.

Habit/Society: Volatilis Clydesdales can be trained as a war horses at
an early age, but only by the most skilled trainers. The only known
riders of Volatilis Clydesdales are Storm Giants.
     Male and female Volatlis Clydesdales are equal in the herd. The
leader is the horse that wants it or gets thrown into the position.
Most Volatilis Clydesdales prefer to remain part of the many where they
have the most freedom.
     They can carry great weights for long periods of time. A Volatilis
Clydesdale's normal carrying capacity is 290. A Volatilis Clydesdale's
encumbered, half-speed load is 420. A Volatilis Clydesdale's fully
encumbered, 1/3 movement load is 550.

Ecology: Volatilis Clydesdales feed on grass, fruits, and other plants.
Griffons and hippogriffs are the natural enemies of a Volatilis
Clydesdales.


Horse, Pravus Clydesdale

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Herd
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Day
DIET: Carnivore
INTELLIGENCE: Animal (1)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral Evil
NO. APPEARING: 1-20
ARMOR CLASS: 5
MOVEMENT: 14
HIT DICE: 5
THAC0: 15
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-8/1-8/1-4
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Steam, Berserk Rage
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Fear Aura
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: L (16 to 17 hands OR 5 feet to 6 feet)
MORALE: Steady (11)
XP VALUE: 150

     The evil relative in the Clydesdale breed, Pravus Clydesdale
horses are sinister. Sages do not know why or how this horse got into
the natural mix of things, but all agree that the world would be better
off without them.
     Pravus Clydesdale horses appear as slightly larger Clydesdale
Horses. Pravus Clydesdales' colors are black and various shades of
grey. They have white straps on the face, and white legs to knees and
hocks.

     A Pravus Clydesdale has a natural aura of fear about it. The aura
has a radius of 10 feet. Creatures entering the aura will turn away and
flee in panic for 1d6+6 if a successful save vs. spell is not made.
Any Clydesdale whether a Pravus, a Volatilis, a normal Clydesdale, or a
horse with at least 50% Clydesdale blood is immune to the fear aura.

Combat: A Pravus Clydesdale will fiercely attack anything which it
deems as a threat to itself or its lair.  Clydesdale attacks with its
hooves and teeth.
     A Pravus Clydesdale can charge causing the victim to make a save
vs. petrifaction (-3 modifier) or become petrified by the sight of such
a large horse charging. If the save is successful, the victim must make
a moral check at -3 or flee.
     A Pravus Clydesdale has a powerful steam attack. Once every turn,
the horse can blow scourging steam from its nostrils at a target with 5
feet of its head (or a target engaged in frontal melee with the horse).
The steam will cause 2d6+3 points of damage.
     After being angered, for over 1 turn, a Pravus Clydesdale can
enter a berserk rage. When berserk, the Pravus Clydesdale has
phenomenal endurance to pain and some forms of magic. While berserk,
the horse gains the following benefits and hindrances:

   - The horse gets a +1 to attack, +3 to damage, and +5 hp.
   - While berserk, the horse must fight each opponent until that
     opponent is down. Once an opponent falls, the horse must attack
     the nearest enemy and attack him.
   - It is immune (no saving throw is necessary) to the mage spells
     charm monster, friends, hypnotism, sleep, irritation, ray of
     enfeeblement, scar, geas, and the clerical spells command, charm
     monster or mammal, enthrall, cloak of bravery, and symbol.
   - It gets a +4 to save against mage spells blindness, Tasha's
     uncontrollable hideous laughter, hold monster, charm monster, and
     confusion, and the clerical spells hold monster and hold animal.
   - The emotion spell has no effect unless the caster chose the fear
     result. If fear was chosen, the horse gets a normal saving throw;
     if the horse makes it, it continues on as before, but if it fails,
     the horse is prematurely snapped out of its berserk rage, with all
     normal effects of coming out of the rage (but he doesn't suffer
     any other fear effect). The fear spell has exactly the same
     effect. If the horse fails a saving throw vs. charm monster, it
     simply counts the caster as one of his allies; it doesn't come out
     of the berserk rage or obey the caster's command.
   - Being berserk offers no real protection from finger of death,
     except that the spell effects do not take place until the horse
     has come out of his rage. If the horse saves, it doesn't suffer
     the 2d8+1 damage until immediately after it snaps out of the rage.
     If the horse fails the save, it doesn't die until the rage is
     over.
   - the horse is temporarily unaffected by the by the cleric spells
     bless, cure light wounds, aid, cure serious wounds, cure critical
     wounds, heal, and regenerate (and wither). The horse will gain the
     benefits of those spells after it has come out other rage and
     suffered any and all damages which occurred then.
   - The taunt spell is automatically successful, and will cause the
     horse to abandon its current enemy and charge to attack the
     taunter.

     The berserk rage lasts until the last enemy has following. When
the horse comes out of the rage, it loses the 5 hp gained when entering
the berserk rage. The horse suffers the effects of any spells which
wait until the rage is over before affecting it.



Habit/Society: They can carry great weights for long periods of time. A
Pravus Clydesdale's normal carrying capacity is 290. A Pravus
Clydesdale's encumbered, half-speed load is 420. A Pravus Clydesdale's
fully encumbered, 1/3 movement load is 550.
     Almost impossible to tame, Pravus Clydesdales have only been none
to be trained as steeds to liches, possibly the only creature with
enough power and evil to take on such a deed.

Ecology: Pravus Clydesdales are meat eaters. The are fierce predators
that are only dominated by those creatures that can eat them (few
indeed).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

           WHAT JUST FLEW IN MY DRINK? AN ALCOHOL HUMMINGBIRD


Alcohol Hummingbird

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Indoors; Pubs, Inns and Taverns
FREQUENCY: Very Rare
ORGANIZATION: Band
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Nil
INTELLIGENCE: Animal
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1 (1-4)
ARMOR CLASS: -4
MOVEMENT: 48", Class A
HIT DICE: 1d2 hp
THAC0: N/A
NO. OF ATTACKS: 0
DAMAGE/ATTACK: N/A
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Nil
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Special
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: T (4")
MORALE: Putrid (1)
XP VALUE: 0

     The alcohol hummingbird is a small, winged avian which feeds off
of alcoholic spirits. It appears very similar to the normal
hummingbird, which looks like any other small bird, except that when in
flight, their wings beat so fast that they appear as only a blur to any
observer. They are also able to hover in place, and dart from place to
place, accelerating to full speed or coming to a complete stop
instantly.
     Alcohol hummingbirds are very colorful, having bright red, green
and yellow plumage. But because of their speed this does not make them
easier to spot.

Combat: Unlike their wild counterparts these tiny creatures will not
flee immediately from any large creature. Unless they detect some
danger to themselves. They have no attack forms, and cannot do damage.
Their ability to dart about makes them extremely difficult to hit in
combat, and their speed allows them to avoid almost any predator. Also
because of their quick movements, they almost always surprise (+5 on
surprise rolls) anyone coming upon them. Their speed often allows them
to escape even before being detected.

Habit/Society:  These unique creatures were created as pets and
curiosities for small taverns and inns. They retain the natural
curiosity of their wild cousins. Often darting in and out of cabinets
and closets in search of food. To keep alive the Alcohol Hummingbird
must consume alcohol, this helps to keep them from escaping to the wild
and makes sure that they return to their home. They often get into
trouble poking around customers drinks, getting in the way of dart
games, looking for a drink to sustain themselves. Hummingbirds often
form patterns that are hard for others to notice as they seem to
randomly dart from table to table looking for a drink. Only the
hummingbird knows the pattern and only through careful observation will
the pattern be detected. If more than one hummingbird is encountered
they will always be a mated pair and one or two chicks. Alcohol
hummingbirds mate for life and the death of a partner will often lead
to the wasting away and death of the surviving partner.

Ecology:  The Alcohol Hummingbird is not a natural animal, it lives off
of the alcohol provided by its owners and is almost totally dependant
on them. The hummingbird must drink four times its weight in alcohol
every day to keep alive. Because of its small size it must spread its
drinks over several hours. The hummingbird often gets its drinks out of
the mugs and glasses of the guests at the inn or tavern. The
hummingbird never shows signs of becoming drunk like other creatures,
when it is full it will often return to its nest in the rafters or in a
specially constructed box. If for some reason the hummingbird drinks
from a particularly strong drink it will move at double its normal rate
for two rounds.
     It is possible to find Alcohol Hummingbirds in the wild, but it
would have to be a special, even magical place, where they could obtain
alcohol to drink. An example of a such places would be Whimsy Wine
(q.v. Popular & Strange Alcohols Amongst the Worlds) springs. Alcohol
Hummingbird are commonly found around such magical places.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

         YO-HO-HO AND A BOTTLE OF RUM, A NEW SEA-SIDE SKELETON


The ghost ship slowly approaches your ship, cutting the thick fog like
a bastard sword. You believe the ship has no crew until eerie skeleton
shapes walk onto the deck. Suddenly, one of the skeletons tosses a
bottle at you that strikes your head. As you fall to the deck, the last
think you hear is the singing of old pirate song "Yo Ho Ho..."


Skeleton, Yo-Ho-Ho

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Very Rare
ORGANIZATION: Band
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Nil
INTELLIGENCE: Non- (0)
TREASURE: Nil
ALIGNMENT: Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 3-30 (3d10)
ARMOR CLASS: 7
MOVEMENT: 12
HIT DICE: 1+2
THAC0: 19
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-6 (weapon)
SPECIAL ATTACKS:
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Special
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Special
SIZE: M (6' tall)
MORALE: Special
XP VALUE: 75

     Yo-Ho-Ho skeletons are magical undead monsters, created by a
strange necromancer. The necromancer was fascinated with pirates and
wanted to make his own pirate crew. Unfortunately, he was somewhat
insane and made these comical skeletons. Of course, he is dead now but
his notes still exist so Yo-Ho-Hoes live on through the works of other
necromancers. Why they want to create such whimsical skeletons is
unknown.
     Yo-Ho-Hoes appear to have no ligaments or musculature which would
allow movement. Instead, the bones are magically joined together
during casting of an animate dead spell. Skeletons have no eyes or
internal organs.
     A Yo-Ho-Ho wears a black pirate hat with the preverbal skull and
crossbones on it. They wield a cutlass in one hand and a bottle of rum
in the other.
     Yo-Ho-Hoes can only be made from the bones of sea-faring humans or
demihumans.

Combat: While Yo-Ho-Hoes engage in combat, they sing a hearty tune by
Allison and Waller:

                                YO HO HO

                   Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
                      Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
               Drink and the devil had done for the rest
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

                 The mate was fixed by the bosun's pike
                  The bosun brained with a marlinspike
                 And cookey's throat was marked belike
                  It had been gripped by fingers ten;
                 And there they lay, all good dead men
                   Like break o'day in a boozing ken
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

                   Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
              Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

                  The skipper lay with his nob in gore
              Where the scullion's axe his cheek had shore
               And the scullion he was stabbed times four
                And there they lay, and the soggy skies
                    Dripped down in up-staring eyes
                    In murk sunset and foul sunrise
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

                   Fifteen men of 'em stiff and stark
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
                  Ten of the crew had the murder mark!
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

               'Twas a cutlass swipe or an ounce of lead
                  Or a yawing hole in a battered head
               And the scuppers' glut with a rotting red
                 And there they lay, aye, damn my eyes
                         Looking up at paradise
                    All souls bound just contrawise
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.


                    Fifteen men of 'em good and true
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
             Ev'ry man jack could ha' sailed with Old Pew,
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

                There was chest on chest of Spanish gold
                 With a ton of plate in the middle hold
                  And the cabins riot of stuff untold,
                 And they lay there that took the plum
            With sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
               While we shared all by the rule of thumb,

                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
                   Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
                      Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
               Drink and the devil had done for the rest
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.

                 We wrapped 'em all in a mains'l tight
                With twice ten turns of a hawser's bight
                And we heaved 'em over and out of sight,
                With a Yo-Heave-Ho! and a fare-you-well
                And a sudden plunge in the sullen swell
                 Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell,
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

                     A flimsy girl on a bunker cot
             With a dirk slit sheer through the bosom spot
                And the lace stiff dry in a purplish rot
                    Oh was she wench or was she jade
                   Or was she just a shuddering maid?
               She dared the knife and she took the blade
                     Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.


     (Note: From a 1901 Broadway musical. Inspired by quatrain in
Stevenson's Treasure Island. Reportedly, "Dead Man's Chest" was a
Caribbean island rendezvous of buccaneers and smugglers. Last verse
supplied by JY, other printed in Songs of the Navy, USNA RG)

     Yo-Ho-Hoes fight proficiently with a cutlass (The Complete
Fighter's Handbook page 100; Damage: S-M: 1d6, L: 1d8; Speed Factor:
5). They do not suffer any negative effects while fighting because of
their magical nature as normal skeletons do.
     A Yo-Ho-Ho's other attack is the ability to throw bottles. A rum
bottle will magically appear in a Yo-Ho-Ho's hand (the hand without the
cutlass). The Yo-Ho-Ho can throw the bottle up to 50 feet. The bottle
will break upon contact doing 1d4 points of damage. The bottle contains
rum that will ignite if any flames are near (within 2 yards) the bottle
when it breaks. Another bottle will replace a tossed bottle
immediately. The bottle and its contents are not magical. The rum in
the bottle is of excellent quality if it can be taken intact.
     Yo-Ho-Hoes are immune to all sleep, charm, and hold spells.
Because they are assembled from bones, cold-based attacks also do
Yo-Ho-Hoes no harm. The fact that they are mostly empty means that
edged or piercing weapons (like swords, daggers, and spears) inflict
only half-damage when employed against Yo-Ho-Hoes. Blunt weapons, with
larger heads designed to break and crush bones, cause normal damage
against Yo-Ho-Hoes. Fire also does normal damage against Yo-Ho-Hoes.
Holy water inflicts 2-8 points of damage per vial striking the
skeleton.
     Skeletons are immune to fear spells and need never check morale,
usually being magically commanded to fight to the death. When a
Yo-Ho-Ho dies, it falls to pieces with loud clunks and rattles.

Habit/Society: Yo-Ho-Hoes have no social life or interesting habits.
They can be found anywhere there is a wizard powerful enough and a
eccentric enough to make them. Oddly, clerics are currently unable to
make Yo-Ho-Hoes, mainly because no cleric has pursued such avenues.
Mages create Yo-Ho-Hoes because the recipe already exists.
     Yo-Ho-Hoes have almost no minds whatsoever, and can obey only the
simplest one- or two-phrase orders from their creators. Yo-Ho-Hoes
fight in unorganized masses and tend to botch complex orders
disastrously.
     A Yo-Ho-Ho retains sea-faring memories of its formal life. If a
person gets a chance to actually talk to a Yo-Ho-Ho, the Yo-Ho-Ho will
tell tales of the high seas. Very little practical information can be
obtained, the Yo-Ho-Ho can only tell stories, tales, and legends of the
high seas as he knows it; not valuable information like ship layouts,
battle strategies, etc.. DM's should understand that this ability
should only be used to add flavor to the creature, not to be abused. A
DM may want to allow a Yo-Ho-Ho tell a tale of sunken treasure and
create an exciting adventure from there.

Ecology: The process for creating Yo-Ho-Hoes is more complicated then
the process for a simple skeleton. DMs should decide the process and
materials need. Suggested materials are a sea-faring skeleton, an
animate dead spell, salt water, aged rum, high-quality bottles, a
parchment containing the pirate song, and a high-quality cutlass.
     Writer's Note: Inspired by the Pirates of the Caribbean at
DisneyLand. The skeleton pirates can be found at the beginning of the
ride.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
                          THAT LICH IS A LUCH


Luch

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitary
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Night
DIET: Nil
INTELLIGENCE: Supra-Genius (19-20)
TREASURE: A
ALIGNMENT: Any
NO. APPEARING: 1
ARMOR CLASS: 0
MOVEMENT: 6
HIT DICE: 11+
THAC0: 10
NO. OF ATTACKS: 1
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-10
SPECIAL ATTACKS: See below
SPECIAL DEFENSES: +1 or better magical weapon to hit
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Nil
SIZE: M (6' tall)
MORALE: Fanatic (17-18)
XP VALUE: 7000

     The luch is a special variant of lich (MC1). A luch is created
when a wizard of at least 18th level dies from acute alcohol
intoxication or alcohol poisoning. At this point, the dead wizard must
pass a system shock check and then a save vs. death at -4. If both
rolls are successful, the wizard enters a bizarre state of alcoholic
undeath.
     The luch is always in a state of at least mild intoxication, and
always seeks out more alcohol to ease it's insatiable thirst. It takes
three times as much alcohol to move a luch to the next state of
drunkenness as when the wizard was alive. A luch will only stop seeking
alcohol in a 24 hour period after drinking at least two quarts liquor,
10 to 14 quarts of wine, or 16 to 20 quarts of beer, ale, or mead.
After 24 hours, the luch returns to a state of mild intoxication and
renews it's quest for alcohol. Unfortunately for tavern owners, the
luch retains all of it's spellcasting abilities and won't hesitate to
use them to get at any source of alcohol.

Combat: Unlike the lich's aura of fear, the luch radiates an aura of
drunkenness which increases the level of intoxication of any being that
has ever consumed any alcoholic beverage by one level (note: lifetime
teetotalers are immune). It's touch will cause extreme intoxication in
any being which fails a save vs. spells (duration is 4-16 days). An
unfortunate side effect of these abilities is that any being effected
by either ability will suffer the worst possible hangover upon sobering
up.
     Should the luch elect to touch a living creature, its touch cause
1-10 points of cold damage.
     Luches can themselves be hit only by weapons of at least +1, by
magical spells, or by monsters with 6 or more Hit Dice and/or magical
properties. The magical nature of the luch and its undead state make it
utterly immune to charm, sleep, enfeeblement, polymorph, cold,
electricity, insanity, or death spells. Priests of at least 8th level
can attempt to turn a lich, as can paladins of no less than 10th level.

Habitat/Society: Luches are solitary creatures. They want little to do
with the world of the living except when the drive of alcohol is great,
which is almost all the time.
     A luch will make its home in some fortified area, often in crypts
or sewers of where populous area where alcohol is readily found.
     A luch's supra-genius intelligence allows it to create masterful
plans to get alcohol. For example, one luch actually took control of a
city's entire alcohol trade running it from deep in the earth where he
was surrounded with an ample supply of beer, mead, and ale vats. Thus,
a luch is more than a crazed creature who bangs down tavern doors to
get booze.

Ecology: The luch is not a thing of this world. Although once a living
creature, it has entered into an unnatural existence.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

               A DRAGON WITH MORE THAN A DRINKING PROBLEM


                   Wine, that mounts us to the skies.

                                     --- Francois Rabelais

       Good wine is a good familiar creature, if it be well used.

                                     --- William Shakespeare from Othello


Dragon, Alcohol

CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Any
FREQUENCY: Very rare
ORGANIZATION: Solitary or clan
ACTIVITY CYCLE: Any
DIET: Special
INTELLIGENCE: High (13-14)
TREASURE: Special
ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral
NO. APPEARING: 1 (2-5)
ARMOR CLASS: 4 (base)
MOVEMENT: 9, FL 30(C)
HIT DICE: 13 (base)
THAC0: 15 (6 HD) or 13 (7-8 HD)
NO. OF ATTACKS: 3 (claw/claw/bite)
DAMAGE/ATTACK: 1-6/1-6/3-18
SPECIAL ATTACKS: Special
SPECIAL DEFENSES: Variable
MAGIC RESISTANCE: Variable
SIZE: G (40' base)
MORALE: Fanatic (17)
XP VALUE: Variable

Age     Body Lgt.(')     Tail Lgt.(')     AC     Breath Weapon
 1         3-8              2-6            2          2d4+1
 2         8-16             4-12           1          4d4+2
 3        16-27            12-20          -0          6d4+3
 4        27-38            20-30          -1          8d4+4
 5        38-50            30-40          -2         10d4+5
 6        50-59            40-50          -3         12d4+6
 7        59-73            50-60          -4         14d4+7
 8        73-86            60-70          -5         16d4+8
 9        86-100           70-80          -6         18d4+9
 10      100-114           80-90          -7         20d4+10
 11      114-130           90-100         -8         22d4+11
 12      130-147          100-110         -9         24d4+12

Age     Crushing Att.     Spells     MR      Treas. Type     XP Value
 1         1d20+1          Nil       Nil         Nil          1,400
 2         2d20+2          Nil       Nil         Nil          2,000
 3         3d20+3          Nil       Nil         Nil          4,000
 4         4d20+4          Nil       Nil        1/2HS         6,000
 5         5d20+5          Nil       10%          HS          9,000
 6         6d20+6          Nil       15%          HS         10,000
 7         7d20+7          Nil       20%          HS         11,000
 8         8d20+8          Nil       25%         HSx2        12,000
 9         9d20+9          Nil       30%         HSx2        14,000
 10       10d20+10         Nil       35%         HSx2        16,000
 11       11d20+11         Nil       40%         HSx3        17,000
 12       12d20+12         Nil       45%         HSx3        18,000
     Alcohol dragons are some of the most interesting and somewhat
insane dragons. They are the essence of every drunk found in any tavern
throughout the worlds. They are pranksters, joke tellers, and riddlers
(although they seldom make sense). They're also moody creatures being
quick tempered at one moment to humorously pleasant the next. They
still love to talk and are quite the conversationalists. Listening is
another quality of them. They love tall tales, epic poems and songs.
As well as tales of stupid and misguided fools and humorous tales.
Furthermore, they love games of all types and appreciate such.
     Alcohol dragons tend to have dopey looks and an appearance of poor
health. Many hapless adventurers have been fatally fooled by the
dragon's delicate look. They're still dragons, and should not be taken
lightly!
     At birth, an alcohol dragon's scales are bright pink with a tint
of baby blue. As the dragon gets older, the scales become finer and a
soft color of bluish-white sets in. When the dragon becomes a young
adult, it develops a chameleon power (in the sense of being able to
change its color, but not multiple colors). This power allows the
dragon to change its color to any it wishes. The changing of color
isn't instance and takes a few weeks, plus the dragon doesn't like to
implement it to often. Most alcohol dragons like to be bright cheery
colors like yellow, blue, or pink ("I thought <<hiccup>> I saw a
<<hiccup>> pink dragon."). However, some may mimic other dragons for a
practical joke.
     Alcohol Dragons speak their own slurred tongue, a slurred
variation of the tongue common to all neutral dragons, and 15% of
hatchling alcohol dragons have an ability to communicate with any
intelligent creature. The chance to possess this ability increases 5%
per age category of the dragon.

Combat: Alcohol dragons dislike killing creatures above animal
intelligence. The main reason they avoid fighting is that they suffer
a -2 penalty to hit because they're drunk on their own breath weapon.
However, they will fight when necessary. They like to taunt and annoy
their opponents, hoping they will give up or become angry and act
foolishly. An alcohol dragon's favorite attack is a crushing attack in
which it simply body flops onto it's opponents, save vs. paralyzation
for half damage.

Breath weapon/special abilities: An alcohol dragon has three breath
weapons. The first breath weapon of the alcohol dragon is, of course,
alcohol. The form of this breath weapon is a 70' long and 5' wide
stream of alcohol and gas. Creatures caught in the gas stream must save
vs. breath weapon or take full damage and go into a state of great
intoxication and suffer the effects of this state. A successful save
for half damage.
     The second breath weapon is a 10' long and 5' long transparent,
bluish breath. It causes no damage, but characters in the line of fire
enter a state of great intoxication for 1d10 rounds. Fumes from this
breath weapon will linger for 2d10 rounds, so characters should take
precautions to avoid it's effects. Alcohol dragons use this breath
weapon as a defensive mechanism rather than offensive.
     The third breath weapon is highly unusual, more dangerous then the
first, and is in the form of a hiccup. A special stomach serves to mix
fatty secretions (natural body "gas"). The resulting goop produces the
hiccup breath weapon, a bubble cloud similar to that produced by a horn
of bubbles. The cloud is 60' long, 50' wide, and 20' high, and it lasts
2-12 rounds. Anyone trapped in this cloud is painfully blinded for 4-16
rounds due to goop in his eyes, making magic virtually impossible to
cast; this places a -6 penalty on all attack rolls, saving throws, and
damage (1 hp damage minimum), and negates dexterity bonuses to armor
class. Movement is random as the affected person stumbles around. A
successful save vs. breath weapon indicates that the character closed
his eyes before the goop affected them, in which case only the normal
penalties for fighting blind apply, without the distraction caused by
the pain of the goop in the eyes. If the victim's eyes are protected,
as by goggles, the obscuring effects alone are operative, giving only a
-2 modifier to hit for as long as the bubbles last. There is no saving
throw against the obscurement effect, as the cloud also affects
infravision and ultravision. When the bubble cloud is in place, the
dragon merely closes its transparent protective third eyelids and using
a bat-like sonar, attacks.
     At birth, alcohol dragons are immune to poison. As they age, they
gain the following additional powers: Young: neutralize poison three
times a day. Juvenile: create food and water three times a day. Adult:
polymorph self three times a day. Alcohol dragons love to visit taverns
and inns to party with the mortals.

Habit/Society: Alcohol Dragons tend to favor warm climates, preferably
near vineyards. They prefer wooded in areas with fields close by, but
they can live in caves just as easily.
     Some societies actually respect alcohol dragons, mainly for their
potent alcohol secretions. Some clerics obtain the alcohol from the
glands of an alcohol dragon for rites of passage. If a person drinks
the alcohol and lives then he is a man, death is the other option. A
person who drinks it must save vs. death or die. A successful save
gives the person a permanent +1 to constitution and +1 to wisdom. A
person may only benefit from this once.
     They have few enemies and enjoy the company of normal races (i.e.
humans, elves, dwarves, etc.). Alcohol dragons find them stimulating
and fun-loving races. Alcohol dragons are also found in the company of
copper dragons and pink dragons (DRAGON magazine). In fact some sages
claim that the alcohol dragons are offspring of these dragons. This
theory seems adequate giving their pink color at birth, the bubble
breath weapon, and the copper dragon sense of humor.

Ecology: Like other dragons, alcohol dragons can eat almost anything if
the need arises. They prefer to eat plants and trees then animal life.
They would also rather eat metal ore then take the life of a creature
(unless the creature is trying to cause harm).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                THE GUARDIAN OF ALCOHOL IS A LEPRECHAUN?


                    Come, thou monarch of the vine,
                     Plumpy Bacchus with pink eyne.

                                                  --- Shakespeare

                             Wine is life.

                                                  --- Petronius

     Eat thy bread with joy and drink thy wine with a merry heart.

                                                  --- Ecclesiates 9:7

             A meal without wine is like a day without sun.
           A meal without wine is like life without laughter.

                                                  --- Anon




"King" Lohocla: The Guardian of Alcohol

RACE: Leprechaun (Monster Compendium II)

ALIGNMENT: Neutral
HIT DICE: 1
HIT POINTS: 8
MOVEMENT: 15

MAGIC RESISTANCE: 90%
SIZE: T (2' tall)

INTELLIGENCE: 18
CONSTITUTION: 20

     Lohocla is The Guardian of Alcohol. Sages aren't sure if he is a
deity. If he is a god, Lohocla is probably worshiped by the leprechauns
or other wee folk. Some sages speculate that he is the famed King of
the Leprechauns, but this is manly based on his nickname. One
interesting fact is that he doesn't have a surname (as far as anybody
knows) which isn't common amongst leprechauns. To the more standard
races (human, elf, dwarf, etc.), Lohocla is a powerful leprechaun who
isn't afraid of much and enjoys a good party. Most enjoy his company
and have a great respect for this oddity. Others think of him as a
demon of booze.
     He dresses in the standard leprechaun clothes: green coat, green
breeches, pointed shoes. He is best recognized by his bright red
brimmed hat.
     Lohocla has a great knowledge of alcohol any anything minutely
related to it. He can tell exactly what a drink is, where its from, who
made it, when it was made, and any other obscure detail about it merely
by sampling it.
     Lohocla has the standard leprechaun powers. His favorite power
being the ability to create illusions. Its one of the best ways to have
some fun with a tanked person. The ability to snatch valuable items
successfully is 95% instead of the standard 75% (hey, he is powerful).
He, also, has a Teleport Without Error ability, which comes in very
handy with mad, combative drunks.
     Of course, Lohocla enjoys eating all types of foods. His fondness
for wine is equal to all leprechauns. In fact, one of his main reasons
for travel is to find unique wines to sample. But, Lohocla is never
one to turn away an interesting alcohol drink of any kind. He loves his
booze. In fact, Lohocla is the ideal boozer. He has a conscious
immunity to all effects of alcohol. Being a conscious ability, Lohocla
may waiver this ability to become inebriated. The main reason he
waivers this immunity is so that he may challenge (or be challenged) in
a drinking contest. Usually, he gives any winners a prize. The prize
may be a wish, but this is to general. Lohocla prefers to give them
something alcohol related: a barrel of valuable and rare alcohol,
an increase in constitution, an alcohol non-weapon proficiency, a
magical goblet or tankard, a vineyard, secret brew recipe, a large bar
tab, a copy of his glorious spell book, etc.. He may (25% chance) be
bitter after a loss (the way of neutrals) and might penalize the
challenger.
     Lohocla does have a hoard of treasure. Most of it is coinage to
pay for all his expenses. However, he does have a grand collection of
tankards, mugs, and such.
     Lohocla loves all people who love alcohol. There is no prejudice
or racism when with a pitcher of "sauce". In fact he is very helpful to
weaken creatures as all leprechauns do.




SOME MAGIC ITEMS THAT LOHOCLA POSSESSES


Wooden Barrel of Flight - A favorite form of transportation. This
barrel is of medium size. Movement rate is 25". The barrel is always
filled with a pleasant liquid. Lohocla enjoys this form of
transportation because it is flashy, fun, practical, and full of good
"spirits".

Portable Lair Pipe - This pipe creates a non-dimensional space that
Lohocla uses as his lair. This space has roughly a five cubic mile
area. Among other things, Lohocla has a castle, vineyard, forest, lake,
and his treasure in this space.
     Climate is controlled by Lohocla. He usually keeps it very
comfortable: breezy and sunny. In this space, creatures don't age, and
natural healing and curing take place at twice the normal rate.
     Activation is done by Lohocla placing the pipe in his mouth and
him thinking of the space. The pipe, all his possessions, and anything
else that he is touching and desires to take with him (e.g. other
people) will be transported there.
     When Lohocla (and guests if any) leave this space, he (they)
returns to any place he desires. Usually it will be in a place where
nobody is present, so that he doesn't startle anybody.
    Lohocla keeps knowledge of the pipe's powers and his lair a secret.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                          THE ALCOHOL DEITIES


             No thing more excellent nor more valuable than
                 wine was ever granted mankind by God.

                                                  --- Plato

        If God forbade drinking would He have made wine so good?

                                                  --- Richelieu


     Ebrietas is the deity of alcohol in general and the happiness
that comes from drunkenness. Malus Temulentia is the deity of liquors.
Vinumus is the deity of wines. Excitarus is the deity of beers, ales,
and meads.
     Vinumus and Excitarus are natural brothers and sons of the Goddess
of Agriculture and Ebrietas. Malus Temulentia's mother is also the
Goddess of Agriculture but his father is unknown but is believed to be
the God of War or the God of Death. It is also unknown if the goddess
was raped, seduced, charmed, or consented to copulation.















               -----------------------------------------
                      EBRIETAS (THE HAPPY DRINKER)
               -----------------------------------------


Portfolio: Blissful drink, drunkenness, euphoria, festivals,
celebrations

     Ebrietas represents the good that comes from drinking alcoholic
beverages. Alcohol is safer to drink then tainted water that often
exists in populated areas. Alcohol relaxes people, makes them
friendlier, allows them to forget their misery and pain and allows them
to enjoy life. Alcohol is used by all castes of people. Whether poor or
rich, all cherish alcohol and thus are brought together as a people.
     Ebrietas is the proud father to both Vinumus and Excitarus.
Unfortunately, there is a god who doesn't respect Ebrietas as his sons
do. That god is the evil Malus Temulentia.
     Ebrietas takes the form of many races. His favorite form is a
jolly halfling, but sometimes appears as a burly human, a handsome elf,
a sturdy dwarf, or a clever gnome.

Alignment: The deity is lawful good. His priests may chaotic good,
neutral good, or lawful good. The flock may be of any alignment.

Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 9, Constitution 12. Wisdom or
Constitution of 16 means +05% experience. Wisdom and Constitution of 16
means +10% experience.

Races Allowed: Any (commonly dwarves, elves, gnomes, halflings,
humans).

Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Bartending, Drinking (Boozing),
Drinking Skills/Tricks, Toasting. Recommended: Disguise Drunkenness/
Hangover, Wine tasting.

Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Swizzle stick.

Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are swizzle stick,
tankard, bottle, and staff. No armor.

Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance, Tasting and Protecting the
peaceful consumption of alcohol, Marriage, Judging of disturbing, non-
peaceful, or unlawful persons when required.

Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Guardian, Protection. Minor
Access to Creation, Plant, Healing.

Powers & Benefits:

- The specialty priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not
drunkenness).

- The specialty priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from
beer, ale, mead, or wine. Liquors cause normal hangovers.

- The specialty priest receives a +2 bonus to all reaction rolls when
they are friendly.

- The priest gains a +5 to Constitution ability checks as they pertain
to alcohol.

- At 5th level, the specialty priest can create a quart of average
quality beer, ale, mead, or wine twice per day.

- At 7th level, the specialty priest can charm a person while sharing
alcohol drinks (The Complete Priest's Handbook, page 23). This power
works three times per day.

Limitations & Hindrances:

- Unholy alcohol is poison to specialty priests and clerics of
Ebrietas. Those that consume unholy alcohol must make a save vs.
poison or suffer an additional 4d4 points of damage.

- Ebrietas is the hated enemy of Malus Temulentia. This hatred is in
the followers of Malus Temulentia. Thus, Ebrietas' priests are in the
most danger of harm from the followers of Malus Temulentia who wish
to destroy Ebrietas by destroying his worshippers. Ebrietas' priests
are always be on guard of such danger.

- The specialty priest who becomes hostile while intoxicated has
dishonored himself and Ebrietas and must repent or will suffer the
wrath of Ebrietas. Note that exceptions can be made when the priest is
provoked and all attempts at a peaceful resolution have been made. This
punishment will be decided upon by the high priest of the nearest
temple of Ebrietas. Repentance usually comes in the form of a quest, a
menial task, monetary loss, etc..

Followers and Strongholds: At 9th level, the priest receives the
following followers: 3 fourth level priests, 4 second level priests, 6
first level priests, 10 clerics, and 11-20 normal followers. At this
time, the priest can construct a Temple of Ebrietas. The priest pays
half the cost of construction. The temple is a holy place of worship,
but also a meeting place for celebrations of any type as long as the
celebration is a festive one.

Requirements for Followers:

     Alignment choices:  Any good
     Races Allowed:  Any (commonly human, dwarf, elf, and gnome)
     Restrictions:  None

Symbols: The symbol of Ebrietas is a cup overflowing for that is the
greatest reward for anybody.

Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: Three days before the summer
solstice, the Seven Days of Ebrietas begin. The holiday is celebrated
by parties, parades, and competitions of all sorts. Unconditional
celebration takes place. The only requirement of the holiday is that
all participants are peaceful. Violators are severely punished for
defiling the peace. Most communities that recognize the holiday will
overlook communal laws and allow the high priests of Ebrietas to reside
over any peace-breakers.
     The priests of both Vinumus and Excitarus respect Ebrietas and
make offerings to him during their festivals. Also, the priests tend to
celebrate the Seven Days of Ebrietas where they are very welcome.
     An offering of alcohol is often given to Ebrietas before any
holiday, festival, or celebrations in hopes that he blesses the
occasion with peace and goodwill.

Minions: Ebrietas has a mortal daughter named Seltzer whose mortal
mother was a kind, beautiful, "healthy" barmaid Ebrietas met on one of
his excursions to the land of mortals. Seltzer (7th level specialty
fighter: AL: LG; AC 8-2; MV 9; hp 50; THAC0 14; #AT 2/1; by weapon
type; S 12, D 16, C 18, I 12, W 14, Ch 18) is a fighter adventurer but
she also is the owner and hostess of a quaint brew house and tavern.
Seltzer specializes in the long sword. She is proficient in the dagger,
throwing knife, dart, and quarterstaff. Seltzer is very beautiful and
feminine but also strong and sure. Seltzer knows who her father is but
finds that such information is of no help in daily life, just another
interesting story that will be a legend centuries from now. Although
Seltzer doesn't believe her father belittles himself with his mortal
daughter, Ebrietas does watch over her and protects her from harm.
Seltzer's ultimate destiny is unknown, but surely it will be of
greatness and serve her father well.

Avatars: Boozies

Intelligence: Exceptional
Alignment: Lawful Good
No. appearing: 1-12
Armor class: 0
Movement: 15
Hit dice: 15 (100 hit points)
THAC0: 5
No. of attacks: 4
Damage/attack: by weapon type
Special attacks: Special
Special defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit
Magic resistance: 25%
Size: L (12' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000
S: 19 (+3 +7)  I: 18  W: 18  D: 18  C: 20  Ch: 18

     A Boozie is a strong, muscular, burly, tan man. He wears rough
blue jeans (a strange clothing material not found in most worlds) and
no shirt. He wields a large tankard that does 2d10 points of damage. If
necessary a Boozie can wield any weapon with no penalty.
     A Boozie can cause any mortal to become greatly intoxicated at
will. A Boozie often uses this power in attempts to avoid combat.
     Boozies are really popular with women who find them very
attractive. On special occasions, Ebrietas may reward women by sending
Boozies to perform a strip show form them.


               -----------------------------------------
                            MALUS TEMULENTIA
               -----------------------------------------


Portfolio: Evil spirits, liquor, alcohol addiction, bad emotions that
drive one to drinking, sickness, and drunkenness which manifests itself
as rage and loss of control

     Malus Temulentia is a very evil deity who survives only though the
suffering of mortals via liquor. Although other alcohol drinks can have
the same effect, liquor gets the job done much quicker. Thus Malus
Temulentia's following concentrates on the production and consumption
of liquor.
     Malus Temulentia is known by many names in many realms. One such
realm knows him as the great god Raaalph. Offerings to him are heaved
into a porcelain alter at least one a week in the morning. If the god
finds the offerings pleasing, he sometimes lessen the suffering of his
worshipper.
     Malus Temulentia is depicted in art as a large skeleton with fiery
red eyes wearing a dark flowing robe. He is always atop a white
porcelain throne. Most have waterfalls of pure alcohol flowing around
him and/or worshippers bowing in front of him and vomiting.
     There are two priesthoods under Malus Temulentia. The first
faction are the specialty priests of Malus Temulentia known Stillers.
The other faction is made up of clerics.
     The mission of both priesthoods is to strengthen the deity by
getting people interested in liquor. Then hopefully, the evils of
liquor will manifest itself which in turn strengths the deity. Only
through the spread of liquor throughout the land can the deity hope to
gain more followers. Thus, a person can almost always count on getting
a free liquor drink from a follower.
     The specialty priests are mainly concerned with the production of
liquor. They are always distilling liquor of different types, mixing
liquor drinks with exotic ingredients, and constantly searching for the
perfect liquor. The logic of the Stillers is that the more appeasing
they can make liquor, the more people will consume it. This Stillers
are constantly in search of the perfect formulas and procedures. When
necessary, a Distiller will travel to get a new recipe, a new
distilling procedure, or new information for example. Perfection is the
key to success.
     The clerics tend to travel spreading the word of Malus Temulentia
and the greatness of liquor. As teachers, the clerics will instruct
anybody who wants to learn the art of distilling. Also, they are
information gathers trying to find as much information on liquor
possible. Knowledge of liquor is second only to the liquor itself.

Alignment: The deity is chaotic evil. His priests may chaotic neutral,
chaotic good, or chaotic evil. The flock may be of any alignment.

Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 9, Constitution 14. Wisdom or
Constitution of 16 means +05% experience. Wisdom and Constitution of 16
means +10% experience.

Races Allowed: Any (commonly dwarves, humans, and humanoids such as
orcs, goblins, and hobgoblins).

Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Drinking (Boozing), Disguise
Drunkenness/Hangover. Recommended: Bartending, Distilling, Drinking
Skills/Tricks.

Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Broken bottle.

Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are club, staff, and
net. The priest may want to use a bottle as a missile or melee weapon.
No armor heavier than chain-mail.

Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance in distilling, Missions for
collecting information.

Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Creation, Divination, Plant,
Necromantic, Summoning.  Minor Access to Animal, Healing, Protection,
Sun, Weather.

Powers & Benefits:

- The specialty priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not
drunkenness).

- The specialty priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from
liquor. Wine, beer, mead, and ale cause normal hangovers. Of course,
the priest would rather not drink such a foul alcohol unless it served
a purpose in some deception.

- The specialty priest receives a +1 per level bonus on all
Constitution checks when drinking liquor.

- At 3rd level, the specialty priest can identify and analyze any
liquor with just one sip.

- At 5th level, the specialty priest can raise or lower a person's
alcohol addiction by 3 in both the drinking and amount levels. This
power can be used once per week.

- At 7th level, the specialty priest can raise his strength by 3 once
per day. The strength increase will last for 1 hour.

Limitations & Hindrances:

- The specialty priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on
all Constitution checks when drinking beer, ale, wine, or mead.

- The specialty priest receives a -3 reaction from priests of Ebrietas,
Vinumus, and Excitarus.

- Within 24 hours of becoming greatly intoxicated, a cleric or priest
must induce vomiting upon himself to pay homage to Malus Temulentia.

Followers and Strongholds: Upon reaching 9th level, a specialty priest
can build a temple complex which contains a distillery. The followers
received consist of 20 followers proficient in distilling, 10 first-
level clerics, 3 third-level priests, and 1 six-level priest. The
distillery must produce liquors of all types for sacrifice to the deity
and for sale to the community. The temple complex should contain a
library on liquors which would contains such information like
production of different types of liquor, different recipes for making
mixed drinks using liquor, mythology on the deity, and propaganda
against the other alcohol deities. The temple complex may also have a
tavern where people can come to drink liquor (no other types of alcohol
are served). Liquor is typically sold at cost because of the mission of
the priesthood.

Symbols: Malus Temulentia's symbol is a white, porcelain bowl. Every
temple of Malus Temulentia has a white, porcelain bowl atop a white,
porcelain altar.

Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: Followers do not observe any
special occasions. However, they do try to attend festivals, holidays,
and special occasions of any type as long as alcohol can be served.
Then the followers attempt to flood the festivities with liquor. Before
attending any special occasion, clerics and priests must hold a private
ceremony where they pay homage to Malus Temulentia and ask for success.

Minions: As often depicted in art, Malus Temulentia rides a
magnificent Pravus Clydesdale horses (INT: high; AL NE; AC 5; MV
14"/14"; HD 15; hp 100; THAC0 5; # AT 3; Dmg 3d8/3d8/3d4
horn/horn/bite; SA steam, berserk rage; SD fear aura; MR 10%; SZ L,
12'; XP 15,000). A very powerful and intimidating steed, he has god-
like attributes and powers, a gift bestowed to him by his master.

Avatars: Malus Succubus

Intelligence: Exceptional
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
No. appearing: 1-2
Armor class: 0
Movement: 11/18
Hit dice: 6 (48 hit points)
THAC0: 15
No. of attacks: 2
Damage/attack: 1-3/1-3
Special attacks: Energy drain
Special defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit
Magic resistance: 70%
Size: M (6' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000
S: 19 (+3 +7)  I: 22  W: 16  D: 18  C: 20  Ch: 20

     Malus Succubus are terrible female demons whose purpose is the
unconditional service to Malus Temulentia. The demon in its natural
form appears very much like a tall and very beautiful human female with
long blonde hair and large breasts (at least 36D), although the bat-
like wings immediately show the observer its true nature.
     Malus Succubi cannot be harmed by any sort of normal weaponry.
Succubus can cause darkness in a 25' radius. The kiss of the succubus
drains the victim of one energy level, and all succubi are able to
perform any one of the following feats at will: become ethereal (as if
using the oil of that name), charm person, ESP, clairaudience,
suggestion (as the spell), shape change (to any humanoid form of
approximately their own height and weight only), or gate in a type IV
(70% chance), type VI (25%). There is only a 40% chance of such a gate
opening, however.
     These female demons are usually not found in numbers, for they
prefer to act alone or in pairs.


               -----------------------------------------
                                VINUMUS
               -----------------------------------------


Portfolio: Wine, the finest fruit, refined taste, wine-making

     As the god of wine, Vinumus has a dual nature: he represents joy,
pleasure, and camaraderie; but also savage, mindless, bloodthirsty
violence. He represents the fact that wine can induce both happiness
and madness.
     Vinumus is known throughout the realms by many other names a few
of which are Dionysus, Bacchus.
     Vinumus tends to be more nature oriented like his mother the
Goddess of Agriculture unlike his brother Excitarus. This wild nature
can be seen in Vinumus' appearance, his symbol, and the popular theory
that the best wine comes from wild grapes found far away from
civilization.
     While Vinumus most often appears as a young man in a purple robe,
he also likes to appear in lion, panther, dolphin, and bear shapes. He
savagely inflicts madness upon anyone who attacks or discomforts him
(save vs. spells at -4). He is also protective of his temples and high
level clerics, and may, if greatly outraged, inflict this madness upon
defilers of his holy places.
     There are only two priesthoods of Vinumus. The first is made of
specialty priests, the second of clerics.
     The specialty priests are concerned with all aspects of wine from
producing to drinking. They spend there life creating wonderful wines
to honor their deity and all that he represents.
     The clerics spend most of their time searching for wines created
by others although they will make their own when necessary. They also
like to preach the word of Vinumus to all that will listen, typically
intoxicated people in taverns.

Alignment: The deity is chaotic neutral. His priests may chaotic
neutral, chaotic good, or chaotic evil. The flock may be of any
alignment.

Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 9, Constitution 12. Wisdom or
Constitution of 16 means +05% experience. Wisdom and Constitution of 16
means +10% experience.

Races Allowed: Any (commonly elves, humans, gnomes, halflings).

Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Agriculture, Drinking (Boozing),
Toasting, Wine Making, Wine Tasting. Recommended: Bartending, Drinking
Skills/Tricks, Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover.

Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Wooden staff.

Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are staff, scythe,
bottle, sickle, and flail. No shields and no metal armor allowed.

Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance in proper wine making
techniques and wine sampling, Tasting and Protecting the Wines Of
Vinumus, Keeping the Wineries of Vinumus, Marriage, Judging at annual
wine festival.

Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Guardian, Protection.
Minor Access to Creation, Plant, Healing.

Powers & Benefits:

- The specialty priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not
drunkenness).

- The specialty priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from
wine.  Beer, mead, and ale cause normal hangovers.

- At 3rd level, the specialty priest can identify and analyze any wine
with just one sip.

- At 5th level, the specialty priest can create a pint of excellent
quality wine, twice per day. However, this power is mainly used for
emergency purposes as it tends to dishonor the priest and deity
whenever the priest doesn't create wine the old-fashioned, non-magical
way.

- At 7th level, the specialty priest can lay hands on a cup of
excellent quality wine and permanently give the wine the power of
healing (1d8 points of damage restored), neutralize poison, and cure of
all diseases. This power can only be used once per month.

- At 9th level, the specialty priest has the power of Prophecy (The
Complete Priest's Handbook, page 25). The priest must become greatly
intoxicated before entering the meditation state to receive the
visions.

Limitations & Hindrances:

- The specialty priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on
all Constitution checks when drinking beer, ale, mead, or liquor.

- Liquor is poison to the specialty priest and will do 1d10 points of
poison damage for every serving consumed. Also causes automatic
comatose intoxication.

- A specialty priest who becomes reaches a comatose state due to
intoxication by wine has dishonored himself and must repent. This
punishment will be decided upon by the high priest of the nearest
temple of Vinumus. Repentance usually comes in the form of a quest, a
menial task, monetary loss, etc..



Followers and Strongholds: At 8th level, the priest receives the
following followers: 3 fourth level priests, 4 second level priests, 6
first level priests, 10 clerics, and 11-20 normal followers. At this
time, the priest can construct a Winery of Vinumus which can be
considered a temple of the god. The priest pays half the cost of
construction. This winery provides facilities for the mass production
of wines along with workshops and laboratories for the development of
new wines, a library devoted to knowledge on wines, and an elegant
wine-tasting facility.

Requirements for Followers:

     Alignment choices:  Any non-lawful
     Races Allowed:  Any (commonly elf, human, gnome, halfling)
     Restrictions:  None

Symbols: A thyrsus. A thyrsus is a staff tipped with a pine cone and
twined with ivy.

Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: There are two major festivals
of Vinumus, one before the wining season and one at the end of the
season.
     The pre-season festival consists of seminars on wine producing
techniques, areas to harvest in the coming season, and other useful
wine-related topics. Sacrifices of wine and fruit are made to Vinumus
and prayers are made for a good wine season.
     The post-season consists of wine sampling, toasting competitions,
and other fun activities. Sacrifices are made to Vinumus to thank him
for the wine produced.

Minions: Vinumus rides a chariot pulled by two enchanted goats (INT
low; AL CN; AC 0; MV 24"/24"; HD 15; hp 100; THAC0 5; # AT 3; Dmg
3d8/3d8/4d8 horn/horn/bite; SA special; SD special; MR 25%; SZ L, 10'
at the shoulder; XP 10,000) named Berry and Grape. They attack by
butting with their large horns. They add +6 to damage when they charge.
One of their numerous extraordinary powers is that they produce
excellent quality wine instead of milk, of course somebody still must
milk the goats.  Another power of Berry and Grape is the ability to
polymorph into sleek, powerful panthers (AC -5; MV 48"/48"; HD 15; hp
100; THAC0 5; # AT 3; Dmg 3d10/3d10/4d10 claw/claw/bite; SA special; SD
special; SZ L, 10' at the shoulder).
     Vinumus has two lesser-god minions who serve as emissaries for
him: Bartles and James. They have their own worshipers that are
considered cults of Vinumus. The clerics of Bartles and James get their
power from Vinumus. The specialty priests are identical to specialty
priests of Vinumus. They do tend to be female and have a fascination
for light less-intoxicating wine that they refer to as wine-coolers.
     Bartles and James serve as emissaries to Vinumus. When not serving
this purpose, they continue their work on making wine-coolers more
acceptable by the realms. Vinumus knows that there is no real threat to
him or his portfolio. Furthermore, he enjoys the wine-coolers to some
extend although they will never compare to real wine.
     Bartles and James are an odd pair. James never speaks for there is
no need to. He is always deep in thought and when necessary he
communicates via telepathy to Bartles.
     The Holy Grand Priest of Vinumus is Orsen Wells (20th level
specialty priest: AL: CN; AC 10; MV 9; hp 125; THAC0 8; #AT 1; Dmg by
spell or weapon type; S 7, D 6, C 18, I 17, W 18, Ch 17). Wells is a
large, burly with a deep voice. During his reign as Grand Priest he has
coined the phrase:

                "We will sell no wine before its time."


The phrase symbolizes the hard work and great concern that the priests
put into making wines that should be the best in the worlds. Wells has
made many advances in mass production of wines but has made sure that
nobody forgets or stops creating wines the simple, old-fashioned way.
Wells creates a nice bouquet of old with the new that is a treasure to
scent.

Avatars: The Wine

Intelligence: Exceptional
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
No. appearing: 1
Armor class: 0
Movement: 15
Hit dice: 7 (50 hit points)
THAC0: 13
No. of attacks: 1
Damage/attack: 1d8
Special attacks: Death wail
Special defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit
Magic resistance: 50%
Size: M (5'-6' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000

     The Wine is a beautiful, winged, female elf. Those elven women who
served Vinumus well during their mortal life, are asked to serve him in
the after-life.
     The Wine has a wail similar to that of the banshee. Any creature
within 50 feet of The Wine when she wails must roll a saving throw vs.
death magic. Those who fail die immediately. The wine can only wail
once per day. The touch of The Wine causes 1d8 points of damage.
     The Wines are fully immune to charm, sleep, and hold spells and to
cold- and electricity-based attacks.


               -----------------------------------------
                      EXCITARUS (THE BREW MASTER)
               -----------------------------------------


Portfolio: brewing, beer/ale/mead, barley, basic good times

   Although he is typically called the God of Beer, Brewing, and
Barley, Excitarus actually encompasses other brewed beverages such as
ale and beer-like meads. He also maintains his influence over other
grains used in the production of these drinks.
     Excitarus is the brother of the goddess of agriculture.
     Excitarus is known throughout the realms by many other names a few
of which are Sabazius, Pan, Cronus, and Werb.
     Excitarus typically appears as or is depicted in art as a human, a
dwarf, a gnome, a centaur, or a leprechaun. As a human, dwarf, and
gnome Excitarus will always be old, wise, overweight, and wearing a
white toga. As a centaur, Excitarus is larger than an average centaur,
handsome, and very charismatic. As a leprechaun, Excitarus wears deep
shades of green, is larger than an average leprechaun, and more
serious. He is always with a beautiful pewter tankard and a wooden
staff.
     There are 3 orders of priesthood under Excitarus, each with its
own abilities. They are Tasters of the Brew of Excitarus, Brewmeisters
of Excitarus, and Harvesters of the Grains of Excitarus. All use the
symbol of a pewter pendant engraved with a barley decorated tankard.
Each of the 3 orders complements the others, and relationships between
them are generally cordial.
     There is one cult of Excitarus, The Centaur Cult of Excitarus,
who are masters at brewing but very secretive in their work.

Alignment: The deity is Lawful Good. The flock may be of any alignment.

Symbols: The symbol of Excitarus and all priests is a pewter pendant
engraved with a barley decorated tankard.

Holidays, Festivals, Special Occasions: There are three major festivals
of Excitarus. In the spring, there is the annual drinking festival. In
the summer, the annual brewing competition festival. In the fall, the
annual grain harvest festival.
     Sacrifices at these festivals always include beer and barley. At
the harvest festival, an effigy of Excitarus is torn apart in the
fields when the first barley is harvested. The god is then mourned for
the rest of the harvesting time, and then his rebirth in beer is
celebrated when the harvest is finished. On extremely rare occasions,
Excitarus has required that a 10 year old boy be sacrificed instead of
an effigy to appease him. This is only done if his followers do not
honor him adequately for several years and ignore his warnings of
blighted crops and sour beer.

Minions: Some companions of Excitarus are dogs (INT high; AL LG; AC 5;
MV 18"/18"; HD 10; hp 80; THAC0 11; # AT 3; Dmg 2d20 bite; SA special;
SD regeneration, teleport without error; MR 50%; SZ L, 10'; XP 25,000):
a Saint Bernard named Draft, a bulldog named Miller, a collie named
Alex The Beer Dog, a mutt named Spuds MacKenzie The Original Party
Animal. Each dog has a unique personality: Draft is very helpful,
Miller is very protective, Alex is very competitive, Spuds is very
relaxed. All have avatar status of Excitarus and have god-like powers
(regeneration, teleportation, communication, etc.) to protect them from
harm. Excitarus usually doesn't send them on missions because he
treasures their companionship and is very protective of them.
     Excitarus is often depicted in art as riding a beer wagon filled
with barrels pulled by a team of magnificent Volatilis Clydesdale
horses (INT high; AL NG; AC 0; MV 28"/56"; HD 15; hp 100; THAC0 5; # AT
3; Dmg 3d8/3d8/3d4; SA dive, rear kick; SD nil; MR 25%; SZ L, 12; XP
15,000). This depiction is completely accurate. When Excitarus travels
and wants to make a grand impression (for teleportation would be
easier), he rides on his lordly, beer wagon pulled by a team of twelve
Volatilis Clydesdale horses. The horses have god-like attributes and
powers, a gift bestowed to them by their master.

Avatars: Swissyries

Intelligence: Exceptional
Alignment: Lawful Good
No. appearing: 6
Armor class: -2
Movement: 15
Hit dice: 15 (100 hit points)
THAC0: 5
No. of attacks: 4
Damage/attack: by weapon type
Special attacks: Special
Special defenses: +1 or better weapon to hit
Magic resistance: 25%
Size: M (5 1/2' tall)
Morale: Special
XP value: 5000
S: 19 (+3 +7)  I: 17  W: 17  D: 18  C: 20  Ch: 20



     An avatar of Excitarus is a beautiful blonde maiden with
measurements of 36D-24-36. She wears a small blue bikini that hides
very little. Atop her head is a helmet with two horns protruding from
it. Around her neck is a necklace with the symbol of Excitarus, a
pewter pendant engraved with a barley decorated tankard. She carries a
+5 wooden staff that she wields in battle.
     The Swissyries travel in groups of six and function as a well-
organized team. When they travel, Swissyries give of a beautiful aura
of pearly, flickering light. They travel ethereally, and are only
visible to those intoxicated.
     When not on a mission for Excitarus, Swissyries act as serving
maids in Excitarus's great drinking hall.

1st Order:  Tasters of the Brew of Excitarus
            (also Keepers of the Brew of Excitarus)

Alignment: A priest of the 1st order can be Chaotic Good, Chaotic
Neutral, or Chaotic Evil.

Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 9, Constitution 14. Wisdom or
Constitution of 16 means +05% experience. Wisdom and Constitution of 16
means +10% experience.

Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans, dwarves, and gnomes).

Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Drinking (Boozing), Disguise
Drunkenness/Hangover. Recommended: Bartending, Brewing, Drinking
Skills/Tricks, Gaming, Reading/Writing, Religion.

Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Tankard.

Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are a tankard (or
other drinking container), club, staff, net (for big bar fights). No
shields (that wouldn't leave a free hand for drinking). No armor
heavier than chain-mail. All armor and weapons must be properly blessed
by a 5th level or higher priest of Excitarus.

Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance (listening to others at the
bar), Tasting and Protecting the Brews of Excitarus, Keeping the
Taverns of Excitarus, Marriage (can be annulled the next morning when
both parties are sober again, if desired), Judging at annual brewing
competition festival. Presiding over the annual drinking festival.

Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Guardian, Protection.
Minor Access to Creation, Plant, Healing.

Powers & Benefits:

- The priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not drunkenness). No
priest shall experience tainted brew.

- The priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from beer,
ale, or mead. Liquors and wines cause normal hangovers.

- At 3rd level, the priest can cause a hangover on somebody by making a
successful attack roll to touch a person. If successful, the victim
gets a hangover. Roll on Table 1, Hangover Effects Table, to get the
effects of the hangover.

- At 5th level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain
beverage with just one sip.

- At 7th level, the priest has the power of Soothing Word (The
Complete Priest's Handbook, page 27).

- At 9th level, the priest can comprehend and communicate with any
person that is intoxicated. The priest is able to ask questions and
receive intelligent answers that are accompanied with friendless,
cooperations, and understanding. The true usefulness of this power is
when the intoxicated person is comatose.

Limitations & Hindrances:

- The priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on all
Constitution checks when drinking wine or liquor.

- Before going to rest (i.e. sleep), the priest must be intoxicated.
Going to sleep sober is considered blasphemy. It would be impossible
for Excitarus to communicate to the priest via the dreamworld without
the priest being intoxicated. Although few priests have ever
experienced such dreams.

- Liquor has a tendency to destroy the priest's sense of taste. A
priest should never drink liquor or risk offending Excitarus. Excitarus
may even destroy the priest's sense of taste and/or excommunicate him.
Wine can be consumed by the priest, but not to often and never when
beer, ale, or mead can be found.

Followers and Strongholds: At 7th level (earlier than most orders, but
this group tends to die of liver failure at an early age), the priest
gets the following followers: 3 third level priests, 5 first level
priests, and 11-20 normal followers (barflies so to speak). The priest
may then construct a Tavern of Excitarus, for which he/she must pay
half the construction costs. The stronghold acts as a bar for thirsty
patrons and as a repository for the various brews made by the
Brewmeisters of Excitarus.

Requirements for Followers:

     Alignment choices:  Any non-lawful
     Races Allowed:  Any (commonly human, dwarf, and gnome)
     Restrictions:  None (but must love beer)

Notes: Eventually, the Tasters of the Brew of Excitarus will split into
2 separate orders, one just for drinking and one just for tavern
keeping. When this happens, the life-span of the Tasters will decline
even further.


2nd Order: Brewmeisters of Excitarus

Alignment: A priest of the 2nd order can be Neutral Good, Neutral Evil,
Neutral, Lawful Neutral, or Chaotic Neutral.

Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 12, Constitution 12, Intelligence of 11.
Wisdom or Constitution or Intelligence of 16 means +05% experience.
A score of 16 in any two abilities means +10% experience. Wisdom and
Constitution and Intelligence of 16 means +15% experience.

Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans, dwarves, and gnomes).

Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Alchemy, Brewing, Herbalism.
Recommended: Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover, Drinking (Boozing),
Drinking Skills/Tricks, Gaming, Reading/Writing, Religion.

Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Wooden staff.


Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are the club,
tankard, staff, and sling. Non-metal armor and shields only. All armor
and weapons must be properly blessed by a 5th level or higher priest of
Excitarus.

Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Education (teaching of the brewing
arts to those deemed worthy, promotion of brewing), Investigation
(seeking forgotten brewing techniques and developing new ones), Must
participate in annual brewing competition festival.

Spheres of Influence: Major Access to Creation, Plant. Minor Access to
Healing, Guardian, Protection.

Powers & Benefits:

- The priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not drunkenness). No
priest shall experience tainted brew.

- The priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from beer,
ale, or mead. Liquors and wines cause normal hangovers.

- At 3rd level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain
beverage even when partially brewed with just one sip.

- At 3rd level, the priest can mend as per the spell Mending on damaged
brewing apparatus only once per day by laying on hands.

- At 5th level, the priest can create a quart of average quality beer,
ale, or mead twice per day.

- At 7th level the priest may speed the fermentation process of any
naturally fermentable vegetable matter (i.e. potatoes, wheat, etc.)
once per day. Within one hour all the contents in the container will be
completely fermented as if the full year or whatever the necessary time
period was had passed. The priest must be careful to make sure that all
other preparations have been made to hold the newly fermented liquid.
There must be vats, bottles and anything else that is necessary for the
preservation of the Alcohol.
     The priest must already know the time necessary to ferment the
grapes or whatever and the alcohol making processes before casting this
spell (i.e. the character must have a proper non-weapon proficiency).

Limitations & Hindrances:

- The priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on all
Constitution checks when drinking wine or liquor.

- The priest may never make wine or liquors or the wrath of Excitarus
shall strike.

- The priest must always give the first drink of a new brew to another
person, preferably a friend.

Followers and Strongholds: At 8th level, the priest receives the
following followers: 3 fourth level priests, 4 second level priests, 6
first level priests, and 11-20 normal followers. At this time, the
priest can construct a Brewery of Excitarus. The priest pays half the
cost of construction. This brewery provides facilities for the mass
production of brewed beverages along with workshops and laboratories
for the development of new brews.




Requirements for Followers:

     Alignment choices:  Any
     Races Allowed:  Any (commonly humans, dwarves, and gnomes)
     Restrictions:  None (but must love beer)


3rd Order: Harvesters of the Grains of Excitarus

Alignment: Neutral.

Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 12, Constitution 12. Wisdom or
Constitution of 16 means +05% experience. Wisdom and Constitution of 16
means +10% experience.

Races Allowed: Any (commonly humans and halflings).

Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Agriculture, Herbalism, Weather Sense.
Recommended: Brewing, Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover, Drinking
(Boozing), Drinking Skills/Tricks, Reading/Writing, Religion.

Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Scythe.

Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are the scythe, club,
tankard, sickle, and flail. No shields and no metal armor allowed. All
armor and weapons must be properly blessed by a 5th level or higher
priest of Excitarus.

Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Guidance, Conducting of annual barley
harvest celebrations, Vigilance against anything that may harm barley
or other grains used in brewing, Destruction of rats and other vermin
that prey on agricultural lands.

Spheres of Influence: Major Access to All, Plant, Protection. Minor
Access to Creation, Guardian, Healing, Weather.

Powers & Benefits:

- The priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not drunkenness). No
priest shall experience tainted brew.

- The priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from beer,
ale, or mead. Liquors and wines cause normal hangovers.

- The priest can identify any grain used in brewing.

- At 3rd level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain
beverage with just one sip.

- At 5th level, the priest can identify and analyze any disease in
grains used in brewing.

- At 7th level, the priest can detect the presence and location of any
rat nest within 50 feet. Of course, he must seek out and destroy it.

- At 9th level, the priest can shape-change three times per day into a
cat.

Limitations & Hindrances:

- The priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on all
Constitution checks when drinking wine or liquor.


- The priest must kill any vermin that prey on agricultural land and
are unclean thus defiling grain.

- Chastity is required by Excitarus for the crop land cannot be fertile
if the harvesters are fertile.

Followers and Strongholds: At 9th level, the following followers are
gained: 3 fifth level priests, 4 third level priests, 6 first level
priests, 21-30 normal followers. At this time, the priest can build a
Grainery of Excitarus. The priest must pay for half of the construction
costs of this stronghold. The stronghold will act as a safe storehouse
for grains used in brewing and will also be a source of information
about methods used to enhance the production of these grains.

Requirements for Followers:

     Alignment choices:  Any
     Races Allowed:  Any (commonly humans and halflings)
     Restrictions: None (but must like beer)


The Centaur Cult of Excitarus

     The Centaur Cult of Excitarus is sect with only centaurs as
members. They are master brewers. They are great drinkers. They are
centaurs with a lust for beer, ale, and mead.
     They tend to live and worship deep in the woodland near fresh,
pure springs where they can get the best water for brewing. Although
centaurs are reclusive to most races they will be friendly with any
priest of Excitarus hoping to share recipes and techniques with their
brethren.

Alignment: A priest of The Centaur Cult of Excitarus can be Neutral
Chaotic Good, Neutral Good.

Minimum Ability Scores: Wisdom 12, Constitution 14, Intelligence of 12.
Wisdom or Constitution or Intelligence of 16 means +05% experience.
A score of 16 in any two abilities means +10% experience. Wisdom and
Constitution and Intelligence of 16 means +15% experience.

Races Allowed: Centaur.

Nonweapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Alchemy, Brewing, Drinking (Boozing),
Herbalism. Recommended: Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover, Drinking
Skills/Tricks.

Weapon Proficiencies: Required: Wooden staff.

Weapons and Armor Restrictions: Permitted weapons are the club,
tankard, staff, and sling. No armor.

Duties of the Priest: Devotions, Education (teaching of the brewing
arts to those deemed worthy), Investigation (seeking forgotten brewing
techniques and developing new ones), May participate in annual brewing
competition festival if welcome by non-prejudice people.

Spheres of Influence: Major Access to Creation, Plant. Minor Access to
Healing, Guardian, Protection.

Powers & Benefits:

- The priest is immune to alcohol poisoning (but not drunkenness). No
priest shall experience tainted brew.

- The priest never experiences a hangover if intoxicated from beer,
ale, or mead. Liquors and wines cause normal hangovers.

- The priest gains a +5 per class level bonus to the Brewing non-weapon
proficiency.

- The priest gains a +3 to Constitution ability checks as they pertain
to alcohol.

- At 3rd level, the priest can identify and analyze any alcoholic grain
beverage even when partially brewed with just one sip.

- At 3rd level, the priest can mend as per the spell Mending on damaged
brewing apparatus only once per day by laying on hands.

- At 5th level, the priest can create a four quarts of excellent
quality beer, ale, or mead twice per day. However, the priest tends to
not use this power because only through non-magical means does a brewer
truly enlighten himself and his art.

- At 7th level the priest may speed the fermentation process of any
naturally fermentable vegetable matter (i.e. potatoes, wheat, etc.)
once per day. Within one hour all the contents in the container will be
completely fermented as if the full year or whatever the necessary time
period was had passed. The priest must be careful to make sure that all
other preparations have been made to hold the newly fermented liquid.
There must be vats, bottles and anything else that is necessary for the
preservation of the Alcohol.
     The priest must already know the time necessary to ferment the
grapes or whatever and the alcohol making processes before casting this
spell (i.e. the character must have a proper non-weapon proficiency).

- At 9th level, the priest has the power of Prophecy (The Complete
Priest's Handbook, page 25). The priest must become greatly intoxicated
before entering the meditation state to receive the visions.

Limitations & Hindrances:

- The priest receives a -1 per every three levels penalty on all
Constitution checks when drinking wine or liquor.

- The priest may never make wine or liquors or the wrath of Excitarus
shall strike.

- The priest must always give the first drink of a new brew to another
person, preferably a friend.

Followers and Strongholds: At 8th level, the priest receives the
following centaur followers: 3 fourth level priests, 4 second level
priests, 6 first level priests, and 11-20 normal followers. At this
time, the priest can construct a Brewery of Excitarus. The priest pays
half the cost of construction. This brewery isn't for mass production
as the other brewing priesthood constructs, rather this brewery is for
educational and homing of brewing skills.

Requirements for Followers:

     Alignment choices: Any
     Races Allowed: Centaur
     Restrictions: None

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                          HOLY/UNHOLY ALCOHOL


     Because of the great benefits from possessing holy/unholy alcohol,
the DM should be careful in maintaining game balance by limiting the
availability of the alcohol. For those clerics able to create their own
alcohol, the DM has many opportunities to screw up his work.


USAGE

     When drinking holy alcohol, Constitution intoxication checks
penalties are doubled and if greatly intoxicated the penalties to
saving throws vs. poison are doubled as well.
     Spiritual magic in the holy alcohol causes special effects to the
imbiber. For example, holy alcohol created by clerics of the god of
merriment would cause great celebration and a non-violent intent
amongst its imbibers. Holy alcohol belonging to the god of knowledge
calms and relaxes the imbibers and gives them a higher intelligence
while intoxicated. The holy alcohol of the god of light, the sun, and
the truth gives the imbibers the powers to detect lies and deceptions.
The special magical effects are left to the DM and player keeping in
mind game-balance.
      Becoming greatly intoxicated from holy alcohol of their deity
allows a cleric or priest of 9th level or higher to receive visions
from their deity. Evil clerics using unholy alcohol to receive visions
are indeed brave or foolish given the damage the receive from drinking
it. The visions received are solely up to the DM.
     Other more concrete powers are the following:

Holy Alcohol

- Ingesting holy alcohol will heal 2d4 points of damage, cure disease
(3rd level), and causes a state of great intoxication.

- Ingesting with holy alcohol will have the beneficial effect of
slowing the onset of lycanthropy or becoming undead. For each serving
so used, the process is slowed by 1d4 days.

- Affects most forms of undead creatures from the lower planes like
holy water, but does twice as much damage.

Unholy Alcohol

- Ingesting unholy alcohol will cause 2d4 points of damage, cause
disease (3rd level, reverse of cure disease), and causes a state of
great intoxication.

- Ingesting with unholy alcohol will have the effect of speeding-up the
onset of lycanthropy or becoming undead. For each serving so used, the
process is speeded-up by 1d4 days.

- Affects affects paladins, creatures whose purpose is to defend good
(lamaasu, shedu, etc.), and creatures from the outer planes like holy
water, but does twice as much damage.


CREATION

     Only clerics are able to prepare holy alcohol - or unholy alcohol
in the case of evil clerics. As a third level spell is involved, it
requires a cleric of not less than 5th level of experience to manage to
create such a fluid.

The Planting

     Take a fallow field and perform a ceremony of consecration
(Ceremony, 1st level, Unearthed Arcana) to a specific deity upon it.
Typical deities are the deity of nature, the deity of agriculture, the
deity of the sun, Ebrietas the deity of good intoxication, Malus
Temulentia the deity of liquor and the evil it brings, Vinumus the
deity of wine, and Excitarus the deity of brew.
     Some deities will call for blood sacrifice, while some may simply
prefer that you simply sprinkle the fertilizer with holy water (bonus
for using fertilizer from holy cows or fish, if that is kosher for the
DM).
     Use appropriately blessed/cursed (1st level) implants such as
ploughs for preparing the sacred field. All creatures of the earth that
are used to assist in preparing the field are sacrificed as an offering
to the deity of the field.
     The seeds whether grape, grain, or other appropriate type are
blessed/cursed (1st level) and sprinkled with holy water before they
are sown. During the sowing, prayers and chants are made to the
appropriate deity asking for a good crop. The character must make a
successful wisdom check to maintain his/her concentration during this
stage.

The Harvest

     During the harvest, prayers and chants are made thanking the
appropriate deity for the crop. The character must make a successful
wisdom check to maintain his/her concentration during this stage. Only
the best of the crop can produce holy alcohol. At most only 25% of the
crop can be considered high enough in quality to be used. The use of
the augury spell (2nd level) must be cast to find out how much of the
harvest can be used for processing, how much can be disposed of for any
purpose, and how much should be sacrificed to the god in gratitude for
the crop.
     In the case of a good god, the remainder of the crop that can't be
used is distributed to the poor whether directly, baked into bread or
made into alcohol without the appropriate holy ceremony. In the case of
a evil god, the remainder of the crop that can't be used is destroyed
typically in a sacrificial fire.
     The harvest must be performed by people who have at least been
initiated into the mysteries of that deity though they need not
be a full cleric, just someone dedicated to that god.

The Creation

     Before creation, the cleric must spend a week in prayers and
meditations. Each day, a successful wisdom check must be made with a -3
penalty.
      Grain threshing, grape stomping, etc. can be performed by people
who have at least been initiated into the mysteries of that deity
though they need not be a full cleric, just someone dedicated to that
god.
     The harvest is processed into alcohol in the normal process
whether brewing, distilling, or wining. All items used in the process
must be of fine workmanship and made specifically for this purpose. The
items must be engraved with the holy/unholy symbols of the cleric's
deity. Also, they must also be properly consecrated (Ceremony, 1st
level, Unearthed Arcana).
     Water used in the creation process must be from the spell Create
Water (2nd level) and a vail of holy/unholy water must be added as
well. The cleric casts the following spells in succession while robed
in formal vestments: Create Alcohol (2nd level), Purify Food & Drink or
its reverse (1st level), Bless or its reverse (1st level), Chant (2nd
level) for one turn, and Prayer (3rd level).
     Note that the Create Alcohol spell does not actually create
alcohol in this instance, which would ruin the brewing process. It
simply "charges" the mash or pulp.
     The amount of alcohol produced is dependant on the DMs desires for
reasons of game balance and role-playing.

The Aging

     Bottles, kegs, barrels, or any other type of storage vessel used
to store the sacred alcohol must be consecrated. The vessels used are
10 to 100 times more expensive.
     The concoction must age properly as that of its normal counterpart
after which it will be holy/unholy alcohol.

The Product

     If the priest hasn't been properly faithful to his/her deity,
the product may be ruined like foxed beer (thick, ropy, horrible stuff)
or vinegar instead of wine. Alternatively, if there is a time of crisis
and the faithful are flocking in to pray for help, the god may age the
stuff faster than usual to aid the people. Subtle miracles tend to be
easier.
     Depending on the deities portfolio, the holy  alcohol may carry
unusual appearance properties. For example, holy wine made under the
auspices of the sun god may glow with a warm yellow light if a white
wine, or a sunset-red if a red wine. Holy liquor of the god of death
would actually absorb light to some extent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                   ALCOHOL ORGANIZATIONS OF ALL SORTS


         "Friends don't let friends fight dragons when drunk."

                       "Don't drink and dungeon."

               "Remember, alcohol and dragons don't mix."

                                                  --- The Phantom


     Before diving into the alcohol organizations, a question must be
asked: Could an alcohol organization truly exist in an AD&D medieval
world? Although this question specifically pertains to alcohol
organizations, it can pertain to any organization in an AD&D campaign.
The answer to this question is presented in a discussion format with
those FOR organizations in AD&D who believe they ca exist, and those
AGAINST organizations in AD&D who believe they can't exist.

AGAINST: Reliable long-distance communication would be needed to give a
larger base of support than the immediate vicinity, of an organization.
Most people in the medieval times could live out their lives in an area
a few miles around. Having well-defined organizations, rather than the
occasional meddling priest, requires a lot of administrative effort
that usually isn't available.

FOR: As always to compensate for technology there is magic which can
greatly effect communications. A single high-level mage can send
messages (or items) across vast distances. Spelljammers can carry mail
and items over vast distances in a day (if the price is right, and a
'jammer is available). A modified mage spell could be created with the
ability to copy writing from one page onto another (instant printing
press). And using spells to augment a speech (including Phantasmal
Force and Audible Glamer (for a voice boost)) can make a major
impression on an uneducated crowd ("Were you at the speech Zeb the
Persuasive made?  I've never seen any illusions like the ones he
used!"). Again, all this depends on the level of magic and its
acceptance.
     Another aspect is that of the government. Nobles seem to have good
access to lines of communication. And most organizations have some
governmental influence.

AGAINST: The basic problem with getting something like Alcoholics
Anonymous or a Temperance Union is getting enough people together for
it to become a movement. There are no postal services, telephone
services, or technological wonders such as the printing press. When
large segments of the population are illiterate and untraveled and it
takes weeks for new ideas to get from one city to another, an
organization doesn't get the broad national support base so the need
exists to get a large number of people in the city. What is needed is a
very strong idea indeed for that to work.

FOR: No requirement in this section demands that an alcohol
organization be on a large-scale. An organization could be but a few
irate people. However, an organization could be a town or city united
because of certain events led them to it. And whose to say that the
Temperance League in one city must be exactly the same in another. They
could have the same basic cause but work completely different for that
cause. What really matters is how the DM wishes to develop an
organization.
     Organizations can spring up elsewhere, especially in places that
have contact with an organization of a large city, but they would
likely be quite independent of each other after the original formation.
     A Temperance League (or general "underground" movement) could
survive as long as there was a sufficiently responsible and charismatic
branch leader in each chapter. Without at least one person to direct
the group's actions, it'll fall apart pretty quickly. More educated
groups like mages or nobles could be held together by intellect -- they
know what they want to do, and don't abandon their goal easily.
     Its not quantity, its quality.

AGAINST: A strong idea is how religious succeed someone burning with
the fires of inspiration gets people enthused. Alcoholics Anonymous
certainly isn't going to do that, and the Temperance Union is going to
have a tough time getting volunteers in a pre-suffrage era. Going out
on the street and preaching against the evils of liquor is a good way
to receive mud and cobblestones hurled by people who like to get drunk.
The Temperance Union would only go out in force with a number of
people.

FOR: Guilds exist in most AD&D campaigns and certainly religious orders
exist. If they can function, then why can't an alcohol organization. As
long as their is a strong belief in the cause, any organization can
live and whose to say that believe in prohibition can't be as strong as
belief in a guide or one of the many deities.

AGAINST: Handbills and posters are important tools in getting
penetration, but those only work with a literate population and the
printing press.

FOR: Reading materials are tools but not the only ones. Criers could
play an exciting role in the movement. Having a few bards give a play
on the dangers of alcohol or recite some beautiful poetry for the
cause. One must remember that it is a fantasy world where much
amusement could exist. The whole purpose of the alcohol organizations
is to enhance role-playing.

AGAINST: Religions don't need the communication lines because they set
up one dogma and stick to it. The alcohol organizations function on
different lines from many social movements.

FOR: And so this only opens up many more role-playing opportunities.
"Why doesn't the Temperance League in this city protest against the
nobles' drinking?"

     This section of the guide is a collection of pro and con alcohol-
related organizations to be used in an AD&D campaign.
     The organizations typically have religious or political support.
The natural advantage that any religiously based group has is that it
can justify any action because it is the will of whatever perverted
version of any deity that they worship. Additionally, they can
characterize their opponents as heathens, heretics, sub-humans, and
demon worshipers.
     The natural advantage that ant politically based group has is that
it there opinions can be backed with law which in turn is backed by law
enforcement.
     The organizations presented here are the following:

     Alcohol and Drug Abuse Clinic
     Alcoholic Cures Through Extreme Means
     The Ambrosiac Society
     Anonymous Alcoholics
     Citizens Against Drinking And Charioteering
     Governmental Revenue Task Force
     Kill the Drunken Bastards
     Mothers Against Alcohol, Dragons, and Dungeons
     People Against Bull Shiting Temperancers
     Temperance League
     Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League
     The Old Pledge Temperance League



Organization: Alcohol and Drug Abuse Clinic
Abbreviation: A.D.A.C.

     The Alcohol and Drug Abuse Clinic is a less violent organization
than A.C.T.E.M. that has just as much success in its work and is even
more greedy.
     A.D.A.C. is an establishment that resembles a hospital in many
aspects. A.D.A.C. specializes in those people that have an alcohol or
drug problem.
     The "qualified" staff specializes in many forms of therapy. Among
some forms of therapy are counseling, astrology, hypnosis, special
diets, and dancing.
     Basically, A.D.A.C. is nothing more then a well organized scheme.
Although the clinic's staff as well as its customers may believe in
A.D.A.C., the organization is nothing more than quick-fix cures that
don't work given by an odd-lot staff that believe that their ideas
really work on duped customers who pour much gold into the
organization's profits. No matter what the customer's therapy is, the
customer is "cured" when the organization's payments are no longer
made and the customer is dismissed.
     A common practice of some is to send a disliked relative to the
organization for a long period of time to be "cured". Some customers
are just bizarre, rich, hypochondriacs who are looking for a solution
to their "problem".
     As mentioned previously, the group has an unbelievable "success"
in its work, mainly because they decide that all who leave are cured.

Activities: The organization's purpose is to "cure" customers with
whatever the miracle cures are this week.

Funding: A.D.A.C. is a business organization that makes money through
its customers.


Organization: Alcoholic Cures Through Extreme Means
Abbreviation: A.C.T.E.M.

     Alcoholic Cures Through Extreme Means is a organization similar to
Anonymous Alcoholics with its ultimate goal of helping alcoholics but
with almost everything else being different.
     The organization is a business whose purpose is to make money. It
does so by receiving alcoholic customers and curing them of their
illness. They guarantee a full recovery and monitor customers for life
to uphold the guarantee.
     The alcoholic customer may be a willing customer or a forced
customer with payment made from a loved or unloved one. Rates vary
depending on the various therapies required for the cure but the rates
are always high. Whenever the organization excepts a customer, they
promise a cure and will not give up. Some people wanted to discontinue
being in the program, but the organization doesn't allow this. Once
signed up, it is for life.
      A.C.T.E.M. does extensive research into the customer's life to
gain information to be used in the cure. Special "counselors" are
assigned to the customer to spy on him/her as well.
      Techniques used to cure alcoholics are very extreme and usually
illegal. For example, during one session a customer watched his wife
get tortured with electrical shock every time he drank an alcohol
beverage. His "therapy" was going well until he was observed by a
"counselor" sneaking a drink. His wife was reported dead one hour
later. He never again had a drink.
     The group has unbelievable success in its work, and it is reported
that all of those who enter the program never have a problem again. In
fact, A.C.T.E.M. keeps track of customers until they die to ensure
their continuing success.

Activities: Each customer enters a special, individual, therapy program
specifically created for them.

Funding: A.C.T.E.M. is a business organization that makes money through
its customers.


Organization: The Ambrosiac Society
Abbreviation: T.A.S.

     The Ambrosiac Society is a very loose conglomerate of non-lawful
individuals whose primary reason for being together is their love of
alcohol. Not just any alcohol is acceptable, for it must be of the
highest quality. A refined sense of taste in alcohol is expected, for
the brewing and sampling of alcohol is considered to be a form of
artistic expression. Unlike wine-tasting societies, however, there is
no sense of decorum to limit quantities, and the ability to imbibe vast
quantities is another highly valued skill. They are not content merely
to throw themselves into a stupor, however; as they become
progressively more inebriated, they enjoy silly behavior. In
particular, they are the bane of bards, because of their interactive
approach to entertainment.
     Members don't consciously heckle the entertainer; rather, they
seek to improve the occasion by acting out the events described by the
bard, throwing miscellaneous equipment around if it can be construed as
relating to the song, and worst of all, loudly and in unison adding
lyrics of their own to those of the bard, usually drowning out the
original words and usually making the song considerably more
embarrassing than it might have been.

Activities: The Ambrosiac Society's only important activity is
consuming alcohol.

Funding: Funding is provided by the members who chip in for alcohol
consumed at meetings and other events.


Organization: Anonymous Alcoholics
Abbreviation: A.A.

     Anonymous Alcoholics is a fellowship of men and women who share
their experiences to help each other solve their common problem of
alcoholism. These people also work to help others recover from
alcoholism through companionship and counseling.
     Anonymous Alcoholics is based on religious beliefs. Although not
affiliated with any one god, the fellowship looks to gods for help and
guidance.
     The group has had remarkable success in its work, and it is
reported that about half of those who join never have a single relapse.

Activities: Anonymous Alcoholics chapters have group meetings for
discussion of alcoholism. They also have small alcoholic-prevention
campaigns when funding allows.

Funding: A.A. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations from
any reasonable source. The majority of income is from governmental
funding and responsible alcohol establishments.


Organization: Citizens Against Drinking And Charioteering
Abbreviation: C.A.D.A.C.

     Citizens Against Drinking And Charioteering is an association that
was originally created in a large community where there was a large
problem with intoxicated charioteers killing pedestrians. Eventually,
other communities realized that they had a problem as well with
intoxicated drivers killing or injuring people with their disorderly
behavior. In retaliation, they formed their own C.A.D.A.C. chapters.

Activities: C.A.D.A.C. does extensive lobbying in political arenas to
push through stiffer penalties for those operate a moving vehicle under
the influence of alcohol. They also have an extensive ad campaign to
prevent and warn people of the dangers of drinking and driving.
Prevention is as important as punishment.

Funding: C.A.D.A.C. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations
from any reasonable source. The majority of income is from community
fund-raisers, governmental funding, and responsible alcohol
establishments.

Organization: Governmental Revenue Task Force - Alcohol Division
Abbreviation: G.R.T.F. - A.D.

     Governmental Revenue Task Force is a federal (or imperial)
government organization whose purpose is to seek out and capture those
who are making revenue without paying tax on it, which is typically
through illegal means. The Alcohol Division's purpose is to seek out
and reprimand those people who are illegally creating, illegally
distributing, and illegally selling alcohol. This illegal activity is
known as bootleging.
     The government makes a large amount of revenue from taxes
collected from the sale of alcohol. When alcohol is sold illegally, the
government doesn't get their rightful (in their opinion) cut of the
sale. The proper course of action for the government is to set up a
task force to eliminate the problem.
     Field agents of the alcohol division are known as Revenuers. Those
people that the Revenuers wish to capture are known as Bootleggers.

Activities: G.R.T.F.-A.D. seeks out and destroys any illegal alcohol
actions.

Funding: G.R.T.F. is funded by the government.


Organization: Kill the Drunken Bastards
Abbreviation: K.D.B.

     Kill the Drunken Bastards is an association made of fanatics who
take it upon themselves to rid their community of extremely intoxicated
people.
     The organization has been successful in their campaign to rid the
streets of drunks. People watch what they drink given the harsh
consequences of their actions.
     The majority of people killed by the organization are those that
wouldn't be missed like street urchins and other dregs of society.

Activities: K.D.B. members patrol the streets at night looking for
those people who are greatly intoxicated. They prefer comatose victims
because those are the ones easiest to kill.

Funding: Although no proof can be found, most of the K.D.B.'s funds are
received from the government. The government doesn't mind K.D.B.
ridding the communities of some of the more seedier members of society
that serve no purpose like undead.


Organization: Mothers Against Alcohol, Dragons, and Dungeons
Abbreviation: M.A.A.D.D.

     Mothers Against Alcohol, Dragons, and Dungeons is an organization
composed of concerned women whose purpose to protect children from
harm caused by evil influences. During the forming of the organization,
the leaders of the group sited three main areas of harm: alcohol,
dragons, and dungeons. Alcohol (and those that consume the demon
spirits) is exposed to children in everyday life in great quantities
from various sources and is an important concern to the organization.
Dragons whether good or evil ultimately cause nothing but harm to
civilizations and must be destroyed. Dungeons and adventurers give
children a false sense of reality and may lead them away from a good,
safe, long life.

Activities: In addition to the usual protests and lobbying, M.A.A.D.D.
has an extensive propaganda campaign. Some of visuals of the
organization are tapestries showing the carnage caused by alcohol,
dragons, and dungeons that are typically displayed at schools and other
public areas. They also post holy symbols at locations where any
innocent persons were killed by one of the deadly problems. Yet another
visually aid of theirs is shattered and burned armor to show the
destructive effects of dragons and to discourage those who want to
adventure in dungeons.

Funding: M.A.A.D.D. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations
from any reasonable source. Most income to the organization is from
families and lawful, strict, religions.
Organization: People Against Bull Shiting Temperancers
Abbreviation: P.A.B.S.T.

     P.A.B.S.T. is an unorganized organization composed of anybody who
enjoys drinking. Its founders were a bunch of drunks in a tavern who
were getting sick of listening to the bull-shit (i.e. propaganda) of
some alcohol protestors and thus formed this organization to anti-
protest.
     A P.A.B.S.T. member can be identified by a small blue ribbon worn
somewhere on his clothing. Members meet whenever they want at any
alcohol place. Meetings consists of drinking alcohol and playing games.
"Hey honey, I got to go to an important PABST meeting tonight."

Activities: Whenever anybody hears of an alcohol protest, P.A.B.S.T.
members get drunk and find the protesters to anti-protest. Their anti-
protest consists of drinking more alcohol, loud obnoxious chants, and
the occasional burps. Usually, their anti-protests end up in a fun
brawl.

Funding: Alcohol establishments collect money for the organization,
what the money is used for is generally unknown since there is little
need for it.


Organization: Temperance League
Abbreviation: T.L.

     Temperance League is an organization formed to peacefully stop the
manufacture and sale of all types of alcoholic drinks and create a
society of total abstinence through religious and political parties,
and other groups. But it does not affiliate itself with any political
party or god, and it does not express opinions on subjects not
connected with the alcohol problem.
     The league tries enforce prohibition laws. It tries to build up
public sentiment against alcoholic beverages.

Activities: The Temperance League holds many protests around alcohol
establishments of all types from creation to consumption. They also do
extensive lobbying in political arenas to push through prohibition
laws.
     Furthermore, T.L. has an extensive propaganda campaign to
saturated populated areas telling of the evils of alcohol. One
technique is to show extreme cases of "dangerous" exotic alcohol
beverages like Minotaur Malt Liquor and Lycanthrope Moonshine which are
cited as the "ultimate" level of perversion of alcohol. Alcohol created
by monsters is the work of the 9 Hells and the 666 Layers of the Abyss.

Funding: T.L. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations from
any reasonable source.


Organization: Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League
Abbreviation: T.T.T.L.

     Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League is a temperance
organization who believes that the way to stop the manufacture and sale
of all types of alcoholic drinks and create a society of total
abstinence is through violent means because the ends justify the means.
Destroying the source of alcohol production and sales is the best way
to get rid of the problem.
     This league is not condoned by the The Temperance League publicly,
but off the record they find some of their work acceptable.


Activities: Terrorist's Tactical Temperance League prefers a more
direct approach to stopping alcohol consumption. Destroying alcohol
establishments is one of their favorite techniques. They are selective
though. Destroying only one place every few months sends fear to
patrons and a warning to owners. Destroying to many places in a short
time might cause a major crack down on terrorist activities which could
destroy the organization. Fear is the key to success and causing fear
is T.T.T.L.'s main activity.
     There are a few less dramatic techniques then total destruction
but equally effect in causing fear. The simplest and usually legal form
of expression is picketing bars, wineries, breweries, etc.. Picketing
the homes of workers with alcohol related jobs is a little more
effective. Better still is harassing the families of these workers (an
exceptionally nasty version of this is to have other children harass
the target's children at school). Harassing the customers entering and
leaving bars would also be effective. Blockading, both in terms of
nailing doors and gates shut and blocking entrances with their own
bodies, alcohol establishments is also very telling. Stench bombs
targeted at bars and production sites are capable of sending a message.

Funding: T.T.T.L. is a secret organization that accepts donations by
any means possible, i.e. people donate willingly or unwillingly.
Various fund-raisers include thievery, extortion, kidnapping, etc..


Organization: The Old Pledge Temperance League
Abbreviation: T.O.P.T.L.

     The Old Pledge Temperance League used to be The Temperance League
until The Temperance League's goals became that of total abstinence or
teetotalism. Thus, those of The Temperance League who believed in The
Old Pledge created The Old Pledge Temperance League. The Old Pledge is
a pledge to be abstinent from spirits but allows the consumption of
wines and beers which seems necessary to substitute the dangerous,
polluted water.
     The Old Pledge Temperance League functions like The Temperance
League with only their goals being different.

Activities: The Old Pledge Temperance League holds many protests around
alcohol establishments that sell liquor or create liquor. They also do
extensive lobbying in political arenas to push through liquor,
prohibition laws. They also have an extensive propaganda campaign to
saturated populated areas telling of the evils of liquor. Finally, they
try to counter any points that The Temperance League makes against
them.

Funding: T.O.P.T.L. is a non-profit organization that accepts donations
from any reasonable source.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         REVENUER: FIGHTER KIT


Description: The Revenuer is a field agent for the Governmental Revenue
Task Force - Alcohol Division. The Revenuer's job is to seek out those
people who are illegally creating, illegally distributing, and
illegally selling alcohol; activities known as bootleging.
     The Revenuer is very intelligent and understands the criminal mind
quite well.
     The Revenuer has a very professional appearance when not
undercover. He wears a business suit or appropriate formal wear for the
locality, is clean and well-kept. When dealing with the public, the
Revenuer is very courteous and polite unless dealing with the seedier
side of the public in which case a show of power and strength may be in
order.
     Because the Revenuer works for the government, he must keep
accurate notes and make accurate, complete reports to his superiors.

Role: Being on the side of the law, the Revenuer isn't always loved by
the people. The Revenuer represents the tax grip on society the
government has and few like it. This is not to say that the Revenuer is
hated. The Revenuer is very professional and kind in dealing with the
public and has made some friends especially those that receive gold for
information.
     Sometimes local authorities don't like the interference from
supposedly superior law enforcement such as the Revenuers, and dealings
with them can get touchy. However, the true enemies of the Revenuer are
bootleggers or worse, organized crime aka the mob.

Alignment: A Revenuer must be lawful, but this doesn't mean he is
totally law abiding. He obeys and respects laws and is lawful in
everyday life. But when it comes to work, a Revenuer may overlook the
law to succeed, usually with the approval of those that make the laws.

Weapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Skilled mastery in Cimarron Six-Shooter
(DRAGON #176, The Voyage of the Princess Ark. The Complete Guide to
AD&D Technology). Required: Specialization in one form of non-lethal
combat (i.e. punching, wrestling, martial arts). Recommended: Any
Schnell & Wilkes Products (The Complete Guide to AD&D Technology), War
Hammer for smashing up contraband, Dagger or Knife because it never
hurts to have a small handy weapon.

Non-Weapon Proficiencies: Bonus: Reading/Writing (native language),
Tracking. Required: Etiquette, Land-Based Riding. Recommended: Animal
Handling (dog), Modern Language. Distilling, Brewing, and/or
Wine-Making because it helps to know exactly how its done.

Equipment: The Revenuer may spend his money as he wishes. The
Revenuer's equipment such as a weapons and transportation are provided
by the government as well as room and board if necessary. However, most
Revenuers eventually buy their own equipment so as to get better
quality items.
     As stated previously, the Revenuer typically wears a business suit
or appropriate formal wear for the locality unless undercover in which
case he wears appropriate clothing. When on a dangerous assignment like
an alcohol raid, the Revenuer does wear armor.
     The Revenuer sometimes uses dogs such as boozehounds in his
career. Some Revenuers buy their own dogs for use in work and for
companionship.
     Another animal of great use to the Revenuer is the golden spirit
hamster. In an area where all alcohol is illegal like in a "dry"
society or an evil illegal alcohol manufacturing center and the man-
power of all the Revenuers cannot stop the problem, turning loose
golden spirit hamsters to destroy all alcohol is a practical and
economical practice.

Special Benefits: The Revenuer gains a bonus equal to his level to his
Tracking proficiency when tracking bootleggers.
     At 5th level, the Revenuer can intimidate all enemies of lesser
level causing there moral to be lowered by 5.

Special Hindrances: Because of his unpopularity with the less
fortunate, the Revenuer takes a -3 reaction adjustment when meeting
persons of the lower lower class, the middle lower class, the upper
lower class, and the lower middle class.

     The more successful the Revenuer is in his job, the more enemies
he makes and the more his enemies would prefer him dead. Thus, the
Revenuer should always be careful of attacks from enemies. WACO.
Although any good DM will realize this and won't need rules for it,
assign a percentage chance per level of a contract being placed on the
Revenuer's head. There is a 1% per level, rolled upon attaining each
level to see if a contract to kill the Revenuer is made. Kinda makes
the player nervous when the character exceeds 10th level. To maintain
role-play, this would be in addition to any contracts or general
rewards for the death of the Revenuer that were the result of any
specific action.
     The Revenuer is under employment of the government and if he
doesn't show results, the government may dismiss him.

Wealth Options: A Revenuer starts out with 4d4x10 gold pieces. Working
for the government gives the Revenuer a steady income that is dependent
on the economy of the region he works in. DMs should give the Revenuer
a weekly pay that is fair and reasonable.

Races: The Revenuer can be of any race but is usually the race that is
in the majority of the country he works in and the government he works
for.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                   NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS & THEIR WORK


Walfuerth Trading Company (formerly the Ambrosiac Trading Company)

     Run by Hermann Siegmund, Markgraf von Walfuerth, formerly in
partnership with the halfling thief, Kendor. [Note: precise stats for
both characters best left to the DM for the purposes of his campaign,
as Walfuerth is *quite* high level. He is a Nosferatu vampire of more
than a thousand years of age, who in life was a dual-classed Fighter-
Mage. He reached 5th level as a fighter before progressing to magic; at
the very least, he is now an arch-mage. Kendor was once a 10th level
thief, and is now a Nosferatu vampire slave of Walfuerth.]
     Years ago, when Kendor had first retired as an adventurer and set
up a thieves' guild in Narwell, he had a moderate stock of very fine,
highly-intoxicating wine. After he had met the Markgraf von Walfuerth,
and was first exposed to the effects of the spell Metamorphose Liquids,
he was entranced by the possibilities of producing vast quantities of
this wine for sale. Thus began the partnership.
     Even though the high market value of the wine kept the level of
sales low, this arrangement proved quite lucrative. Walfuerth was
responsible for the production of the wine, and Kendor for its sale,
and both prospered. However, when Kendor came out of his retirement and
took once more to adventuring, his ambition and desire for vengeance
led him to murder a fellow adventurer, and he was seduced to evil.
Seeing his opportunity, Walfuerth began to dominate Kendor, and
eventually made him an undead slave. At about this time, Walfuerth took
once more interest in politics, and took control of the Duchy of
Garnburg. Now with an entire Duchy to finance, he expanded his alcohol
trade to a broader trading company, but the wine remains an important
component of his sales.


Aronwy Mac Ley (Male human 14th level priest of Goibhniu)

AC 3/2; MV 9"; hp 60; #AT 1; THAC0 12; D by weapon +1, SA spells;
SD +3 to saves vs. mind-affecting spells; AL NG; S16, I15, W17, D14,
Co13, Ch12)

Weapon proficiencies: bastard sword, halberd, war hammer, spear, short
sword.

Non-weapon proficiencies: Brewing, Weaponsmithing, armorer, spellcraft,
carpentry, healing

Spells: 8,8,7,6,3,2,1

Arms/Armor: splint mail, shield, bastard sword, halberd, spear, war
hammer.

     Now in his retirement in his later fifties, Aronwy remains healthy
and muscular.  He is 6'5" tall and weighs in at 225 lbs.. A typical
Celt, he has fair skin, red hair, and blue eyes.
     A dedicated if roving priest of Goibhniu, Aronwy often found the
necessity to fight on behalf of his people in his youth, and out of
this grew a moderate if violent adventuring career. In the face of an
overwhelming cataclysm that killed off most of his tribe, however, he
decided to look elsewhere, and took to Wildspace.
     Landing eventually upon the Rock of Bral, Aronwy met a fellow
drinker and part-Celt in Trent, and the two often went carousing
between forays into space. It was this that prompted Aronwy to learn
the arts of brewing, and he soon set up a small establishment for the
part-time brewing of beer.
     On one foray into space, Aronwy learned the arts of making wine
(from the Duchy of Laval) and vodka (from the Principality of
Zhernokoviya), and eagerly added these recipes to his brewery. Shortly
thereafter, he retired as an adventurer, and settled on the Rock of
Bral. He has also opened up his brewery to the public.
     Aronwy's operation is not large, available space on the Rock and
the need to import all supplies precluding too much expansion, but it
is of high quality. Furthermore, the relative scarcity of vodka (since
Zhernokoviya produces only for its own consumption) ensures a steady
clientele.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                    TAVERNS AND BARS FROM CAMPAIGNS


Tispy Dawn Tavern

     Tispy Dawn Tavern, a tiny little place in Ta'Nadria (a nation in
my in a specific world which is much like Furyondi in Greyhawk, but
with a paladin for a King). It's run by a 22nd level illusionist, semi-
retired, who likes to put on a show for his customers whenever he's in
a good mood. Which is most of the time. Every so often (about once a
week, maybe twice), the inn gets torched by dragons. The thing is that
the dragons in Farlana (the world in which Ta'Nadria and the Tispy Dawn
Tavern reside) are much bigger and more dangerous than elsewhere, so
this is truly an awesome display. Why? Because the dragons are
illusions by the illusionist. It's his specialty because he has
actually trained with several dragon mages, and has developed his
dragon illusions with them as subjects. Quite realistic.
     There are no rooms here. The bottom floor is the huge common room,
with LOTS of tables. (The place is popular.) The entire upper floor is
the kitchen and brewery. Food is delivered by dropping platters onto
each table. The place is decorated by paintings which change about
every fifteen minutes or so, at odd intervals, so the patrons never get
bored. They are all spectacular art, too.  The tables are lit with
illusory candles, which seem to light the area exactly as much as the
people at the table want it lit.  The "barmaids" are actually illusory
little multi-colored lights, which come and take your order.  Then they
float up through one of the many holes in the ceiling to deliver the
order to the kitchen staff, which is one of the best in the world.
Drinks will always be ready within a minute, unless special
requirements are needed.  And they have every drink available in
Farlana. Even seasonal drinks are available all year long (magic does
many wonders).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                     TAVERNS AND BARS FROM NOVELS



The Coronet in Cinnabar
from Cinnabar, fiction
by Edward Bryant

Cinnabar

     Cinnabar can be reached from the south by a dusty trail which
loops around wind-eroded buttes, over dry stream beds, and among clumps
of grey scrub brush. Alternatively, taking a straighter path but always
within sight of the roadway is the elevated train track.  But, no
trains have run in centuries and the track is streaked with verdigris.
The elevated train is rumored to run to a place called Els, but no one
is quite sure; no one remembers ever having traveled so far.
     Closer to the city, the road is lined with the burned-out shells
of what had once been school buses. This is followed by a mile-wide
greenbelt, a sward of grass and trees continually tended by small
silent machines.  The greenbelt contains a number of different water
fountains.
     At last you reach Cinnabar, a city of glass towers and metal
walls, perched atop red cliffs crumbling down to a narrow band of beach
(Tondelaya Beach) and then the ocean, in the west. If travelers to
Cinnabar ask for an inn or hotel of some sort, they will be directed to
the Coronet, which may be found by just following the road, and looking
for the sign of the crown.

The Coronet

     The innkeeper is named Kaufmann (disparagingly known as Lash), a
ponderous man given to fits of anger.  This is often directed against
the serving girls, which he has been known to whip for merely spilling
a tray of drinks.  (They are suspended by a rope from the ceiling
timbers of the inn.)  He is usually found behind the polished dark-wood
bar.
     The bouncers at the Coronet are named Enrique and Gonzago, two
identically short, swarthy men.  They are usually on the premises, but
often remain in the back room, unless it is night.  If they must make
an appearance during the day, they do their best to appear unobtrusive.
     There are at least three serving girls (all with blue eyes and
long blonde hair in braids), two buxom cooks, and a half-witted busboy
(who wants to be a cycler).  All of them are loyal to Kaufmann.
     By day, the Coronet is given over to the tourist trade.  These
individuals sit around the Coronet, eating fruit ices, and wearing knit
shirts with alligator totems over the heart.  There is a jukebox in a
corner, playing dobro songs, and the rythmic, incoherent patterns of
tourist-talk.
     At night, there will be thirty or more ground cycles parked in the
street outside of the Coronet.  Inside, it is noisy, and the jukebox is
blaring, with a heavy beat.  The front room is crowded with cyclers,
giant muscular men with their giant muscular women.  All are
identically dressed in filthy trousers and sleeveless jackets (which
have a patch sewn on the back).  All (men and women) are shaved
hairless.  The air smells of beer farts, sweat, and piss.  Enrique and
Gonzago stalk among the cyclers, neither unobtrusive nor furtive, but
rather with an air of readiness. The tables have been shoved to the
right side of the room, and a pool table has been installed.
     When you leave the Coronet, you walk along a cracked and buckled
sidewalk, past a line of storefronts (with shades drawn and doors
locked).  If it is at night, the streetlights will be on.  Around the
first corner is a small park with a few trees and a raised grassy
center.  In the park are a few benches, and a human-high stone obelisk
with a blank plaque.  If the plaque is examined, it can be discerned
that there once was an inscription, but it has been worn smooth with
the passage of time.  Careful inspection will show that there are four
numerals "2396" which may be traced out.

Denizens of the Coronet

     During the daytime, you may find Leah Sand at her customary chair
by a planed-oak table, in the front room of the Coronet.  If so, she
may be drinking a ginger ale, and perhaps having an ice (pineapple,
chocolate, or watercress) to go with the drink.  She is dark-haired and
beautiful.  She wears crinoline skirts, and works for the Network.
     The Network communicates by paper, which is delivered in an object
the size and color of a robin's egg.  There is a pop of displaced air
as it appears.  If this occurs, she will pick the object up, rap it on
the edge of the table (as if breaking an egg), and remove the paper.
Shortly after, both the paper note and carrier object will evaporate
into the air.
     During the evening, a Network crew of three people may enter the
Coronet.  Trillinor is a man almost two and a half meters (about 7.5
feet) tall.  He is heavily muscled, and his skin is the blue-black of
the sky before it rains.  Reg is a dwarf dressed in yellow and purple
motley, carrying two silver cases, slung by leather straps so that one
rests on either hip.  Fiona is a slim albino (coral-eyed) girl,
carrying a multilensed camera (gleaming and faceted like a spider's
eye).  They are protective of their equipment.  No one will appear to
pay them any attention.  (It is considered bad form to comment on the
camera.  This will lead to Trillinor picking the individual up by the
collar with one hand, and slapping them twice *hard* with the other
hand.  He will then ask them if they still see the camera.  Answering
in the affirmative will lead to additional slaps.)
     Travellers may also meet up with a tall, gaunt, sunburned man
wearing a white, dusty, sweat-stained burnoose.  This man calls himself
Wylie Cafter, and purports to be a labor organizer.  He believes that
he walked across the desert to Cinnabar, but does not know how long
this took.  He has lately begun to be suspicious of his humanity, and
is starting to realize that he is an andriod.

Draco's Tavern
from five short stories:
   The Schumann Computer
   Assimilating Our Culture, That's What They're Doing
   Cruel and Unusual
   The Subject is Closed
   Grammar Lesson
which appear in the book "Convergent Series" by DEL-REY books, 1979.
by Larry Niven

     Draco's Tavern is located on in the Mount Forel Spaceport on
Earth. The bar is owned by a human named Rick Schumann, he has at
various times fantastically wealthy, and nearly broke.
     The drinks are very expensive, the equivalent of $40. /drink, if
the PC's have gold or silver, they should be able to get it exchanged
by Rick.
     Many of the bars patrons (non-human) use artificial translation
widgets, and these tend to be very loud, so the bar has very good
accoustics for damping out sound that is not immediately local (ie.,
its very hard to hear what someone at another table is saying unless
you're right there.)
     The clientele include both humans (astronauts, Spaceport staff,
newsmen, xenophiles) and several non-human races:
     - The Chirpsithtra, an ancient race which may (by their own
account) rule most of the stars in the galaxy.  They are 11 feet tall,
weight 120 pounds. Their skins are salmon pink and they have an
exoskeleton which covers vital areas and looks similar to body armor,
despite this they are not overly physically strong. If the PC's find a
Chirpsithra in a talkative mood they may be able to get it to answer
many questions both technological and philosophical.  They can become
intoxicated on a special form of electrical energy (available at
Draco's).  As a race they look out for one another, if one is hurt or
killed, they have a very strict eye for an eye policy.  Calling one a
liar is a mortal offense as is being rude to one. All Chirpsithtra are
female.
     - Thtopar are physically VERY strong, and are by nature lawful in
the extreme. (They are so strong they might injure/kill someone in the
event they are involved in a physical altercation - by accident of
course.)  They drink absolute alcohol (ie., 100%), this could be used
against your PC's for some ammusement.
     The year in which the stories occur is difficult to discern (if
it's explicitly stated, I didn't see it the other night when I was
looking the stories over),  I would guestimate that the stories are
placed in the early 21st century say 2020 or there abouts (but that's
just my opinion.)

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                                GLOSSARY


                      Wine, the Pegasus of poets.

                                             --- Pontanus


Amethyst - Supposedly this gem will prevent intoxication.

Barrel - A cylindrical container with slightly bulging sides and flat
ends.

Bourbon - A whiskey distilled from corn mash.

Cask - A barrel of any size, especially one for liquids.

Debauch - A drinking spree or bout that usually includes excessive
sexual activity.

Grog - A mixture of rum and water. Admiral Edward Vernon, concerned
that his men were becoming habitually intoxicated on their daily rum
ration, ordered the rum to be diluted with water. The resulting mixture
was named for the admiral's sobriquet, "Old Grog", which he earned for
his habit of braving inclement weather in a coat made of a wool-silk-
mohair combination known as grogham. Vernon's practice was soon widely
imitated, and some captains found a way to line their pockets by
watering the grog further. Sailors, unhappy with "half and half grog",
were incensed by the even weaker "seven-water grog". From the term
"grog" are derived "groggy", "groggily", "grogginess", "grogged", and
"grog-fight" (drinking party).

Jackroller - Thieves Cant for a thief who usually robs drunks.

Keg - A very small barrel.

Moonshine - Distilled whiskey.

Sobriety Deficient - Player Character term for being drunk.

Tun - A large cask.

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                             DRINKING SONGS


                         The Glory of Adventure

                     When the enemy's surrounding,
                   and we think our nerves will fail,
                  when we hear the trumpets sounding,
                   and they make us quake and quail,
                  grab your mug and we'll be pounding
                       down another round of ale!

                            And we'll drink,
                       to the glory of adventure!

                      If there ever comes the day
                    when we think that we are lost,
                     when we think that we must pay
                     that most dear and final cost,
                    we'll just pass around the tray,
                   and feel better when we're sauced!

                            And we'll drink,
                       to the glory of adventure!

                      When we're angry and upset,
                   'cause we ain't been getting paid,
                    when we're tired, cold and wet,
                        and a little bit afraid,
                     we'll keep drinking and forget
                      that we ever were dismayed!

                            And we'll drink,
                       to the glory of adventure!

                    When the boredom makes us jumpy,
                      and the motion makes us ill,
                    when the food is cold and lumpy,
                       a disgusting, slimy swill,
                    there's no reason to be grumpy;
                   tap the keg, and drink your fill!

                            And we'll drink,
                       to the glory of adventure!

                    When the captain's really sore,
                  'cause he thinks he's being mocked,
                    when he's pounding on our door,
                    and we're certain to get socked,
                   have a drink, and tease him more;
                  we'll feel nothing if we're crocked!
                            And we'll drink,
                       to the glory of adventure!


                        A Bumper of Good Liquor

                        A bumper of good liquor
                       Will end a contest quicker
                     Than justice, judge, or vicar;
                        So fill a cheerful glass
                       And let good humour pass.

                     But if more deep the quarrel,
                      Why sooner drain the barrel
                      Than be the hateful fellow,
                    That's crabbed when he's mellow.
                        So fill a cheerful glass
                       And let good humour pass.


                          To Taste the Barrel

                     When neebours anger at a plea,
                     An' just as wud as wud can be,
                      How easy can the barley-bree
                          Cement the quarrel!
                   It's aye the cheapest lawyer's fee
                          To taste the barrel.


                   Sons of Care, 'Twas Made For You

                      By the gaily circling glass
                      We can see how minutes pass;
                    By the hollow flask we're told,
                    How the waning night grows old,
                    How the waning night grows old.

                     Soon, too soon, the busy day,
                     Drives us from our sport away;
                      What have we with day to do?
                   Sons of Care, 'twas made for you!
                   Sons of Care, 'twas made for you.

                       By the silence of the owl;
                     By the chirping on the thorn;
                     By the butts that empty roll;
                   We foretell the approach of morn.
                   Fill, then, fill the vacant glass;
                      Let no precious moment slip;
                       Flout the moralising ass;
                    Joy finds entrance at the lips.

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              SOME FAMOUS AND NOT SO FAMOUS QUOTES ON WINE


                  Plant no tree sooner than the vine.

                                                  --- Alcaeus


                       Rain makes the vine grow;
                     The vines make the wine flow,
                         Oh, Lord! Let it rain!

                                                  --- Anon

                 Here's to champagne, the drink divine
                   That makes us forget our troubles;
                 It's made of a dollar's worth of wine
                  And three dollar's worth of bubbles.

                                                  --- Anon

                 Wine is at the head of all medicines;
              where wine is lacking, drugs are necessary.

                                                  --- Babylonian Talmud

             Make the vine poor and it will make you rich.

                                                  --- Anon

                Where there is no wine there is no love.

                                                  --- Euripides

             Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.

                                                  --- Alexander Fleming

             Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried,
                with fewer tensions and more tolerance.

                                                  --- Benjamin Franklin

                 Wine is light, held together by water!

                                                  --- Galileo

             The weary find new strength in generous wine.

                                                  --- Homer

                   Wine opens the seals of the heart.

                                                  --- Horace

                    Wine is like sex in that few men
                  will admit not knowing all about it.

                                                  --- Hugh Johnson

                   Wine prepares the heart for love,
                       Unless you take too much.

                                                  --- Ovid

                 For they eat the bread of wickedness,
                    and drink the wine of violence.

                                                  --- Proverbs 4:17



              He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man:
             he that loveth wine and oil shall not be rich.

                                                  --- Proverbs 21:17

                 Never did a great man hate good wine.

                                                  --- Francois Rabelais

                            In Vino Veritas.
                           In wine is truth.

                                                  --- Anon

              Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth:
                   for thy love is better than wine.

                                                  --- Solomon 1:2

               Bread and wine make the road seem shorter.

                                                  --- Anon

        This wine should be eaten; it is much too good to drink.

                                                  --- Jonathan Swift

                  Wine, the devine juice of September.

                                                  --- Voltaire

              Wine, one of the noblest cordials in nature.

                                                  --- John Wesley

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                    OTHER RELATED READING MATERIALS


       My books are water: those of the great geniuses are wine.
                        Everybody drinks water.

                                                  --- Mark Twain


                              AD&D Sources

A Room for the Knight, DRAGON issue #136 - Rating the inns and taverns
of fantasy campaign worlds.

On the Rocks at Slab's, DRAGON issue #105 - A story of drunkenness.

Love and Ale, DRAGON issue #121 - An excellent story of a tavern
becoming enlightened with love.

Moonlight, DRAGON issue #179 - An interesting story of an exciting and
powerful drink.

Well Bottled at Slab's - DRAGON issue #126, A story of a spirited inn.



                             Other Sources

The Beer Book; An Illustrated Guide to American Breweriana by Will
Anderson, 1940. Princeton, N.J. : Pyne Press, c1973.

Brewed in America; A History of Beer and Ale in the United States by
Stanley Wade Baron, 1922. Boston, Little, Brown, c1962.

A Dictionary of Words about Alcohol by Mark Keller, 1907. New
Brunswick, N.J. : Publications Division, Rutgers Center of Alcohol
Studies, c1982.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                             SPECIAL THANKS


                    When you ask one friend to dine,
                        Give him your best wine!
                           When you ask two,
                        The second best will do.

                                                  --- Henry Longfellow

            No nation is drunk where wine is cheap, and none
          sober where the dearness of wine substitutes ardent
          spirits as the common beverage. Wine brightens the
                      life and thinking of anyone.

                                                  --- Thomas Jefferson


Douglas Adams author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy from which
the idea for Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster drink was taken.

Adelheyde (MFASSBEN@UCS.INDIANA.EDU) for his T.A.S. organization and
thoughts that appear in the organization section's introduction, the
very intriguing Become Phantasmal Lover spell, Aronwy Mac Ley who began
the NPC section, the great Dipsomaniac Virus; and the imaginative
Walfuerth Trading Company.

Best of The Dragon Vol. 1 from which the magic items Rings Of Wedding
and Potion Of C2H50H was extracted.

E. Wade Bluebaugh for suggesting the reverse spell Cause Hangover.

Brent The Phantom (PHANTOM@KOOP.COPH.USF.EDU,
BRENT@COPHADM1.COPH.USF.EDU) for his ingenuity and imagination for
without his collaboration on all the deities, there would be none
because he was very creative, hard-working, and inspirational in that
project. The idea for the spell Speak with the Intoxicated. Also,
assistant in the alcohol organizations section was invaluable. Also,
his assistance with the Revenuer: Fighter Kit. Also, the great Luch
monster.

Eric Chaves (BITNET ADDRESS: 94ECHAVE@ULTRIX.UOR.EDU) for his exotic
drink The Flaming Amigo.

John Daniel (BITNET ADDRESS: C548285@UMCVMB.MISSOURI.EDU) for his great
contribution of the Zombie killer drink.



The Darklight (KTAYLOR@PHOENIX.CS.UGA.EDU) for all the AWSOME mage
spells: Analyze Drink, Continual Drunkenness, Morrison's Next Whiskey
Bar, Gorann's Rapid Intoxication, Mask Inebriation, Niiraloth's Random
Sobriety, Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler, Malar's Alcohol Detonation. The master
of spell creation also made the clerical spells: Cure Drunkenness,
Resist Intoxication, Protection from Intoxication, Zone of Tolerance.

Joe Delise (BITNET ADDRESS: JDELISLE@LOYOLA.EDU) for the addition of
disguise problem to the Disguise Drunk/Hangover cantrip. Also, the
neato Mages' Brew exotic drink. Finally, his comments that helped form
the against argument in the alcohol organizations section's
introduction.

Sethan Dreagothe (BITNET: TWCJ3%ISUVAX.BITNET@JHUVM.HCF.JHU.EDU) for
his magic-item Nehara's Never-Empty Flask.

Lisa Dusseault (BITNET ADDRESS: LDUSSEAU@ZEUS.UWATERLOO.CA) for her
suggestions that became the Optional Drunk Disposition Rule and the
Optional Boo-Hag Effect. Also, she did the majority of work on the
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome section. Finally, she gave great information on
drug withdrawal problems which became the introduction in the "A More
Sinister Side of Drinking: Alcohol Addiction" section.

The Elf-Lad (BITNET ADDRESS: ELF-LAD@ACCESS.DIGEX.COM) for his critisms
that inspired the P.S. to the preface.

Carlos Fernando (BITNET ADDRESS: GMACFRF@BRUFF.BITNET) for his revision
of the "Stimulants for reocvering from intoxication" section.

Gandalf (BITNET ADDRESS: BPOELLN1@UA1VM.UA.EDU) for his awsome drinks:
Spelljamming PanGalactic GargleBlaster, BD 20/20 (Blink Dog 20/20).

Philippe Goujard (BITNET ADDRESS: PPG@OASIS.ICL.CO.UK) for his
contribution of the spells Alter Taste and Create alcohol.

Andrew Grichting (INTERNET ADDRESS: AGRICHTI%PIEMAN@PIEMAN.COMPSERV.
UTAS.EDU.AU) for his spell creation of Bucca's Noxious Exhalation.

Steven R. Hamby A.K.A. Darkheart Soulreaver, Network Officer (BITNET
ADDRESS: ZA9ZA03@SYSA.COMPUTING-SERVICES.MANCHESTER-POLY.AC.UK) for
assisting in the creation of the hangover table. He also came up with
the idea of the Disguise Drunkenness/Hangover proficiency and made
suggestions for it.

High Imperceptor Tyrus Hellbane ((BITNET ADDRESS:
C9108613%CC.NEWCASTLE.EDU.AU@UUNET.UU.NET) for Sidney's Excellent
Alcohol and Sidney's Flash Fermentation spells. Also, the great Rocgut
drink.

The Hunter (INTERNET: BHUNTER%NMUMUS.BITNET@VM42.CSO.UIUC.EDU) who
originally made a submission that was to be for a NPC section. The NPC
section never came about so his submission became the Long Sword of
Alcoholism magic-item.

John (BITNET ADDRESS: SOCJOHN@MIZZOU1.MISSOURI.EDU) who recommended the
Dragon's Blood drink from the book called "Shadow" by Anne Logston.
Also for his friend Marvin Connet who gave the idea for Dwarven
Jalepeno Wine.

Ronald "Greymoon" Jones (JONESRD@SJSUVM1.BITNET) for his Ferment Grape,
Know Vintage, and Know Quality cantrips and Speed Fermentation and
Cloud of Intoxication spells. The exotic drinks Brown Mold Beer, Yellow
Mold Beer, Obliviax Wine, and Sparking Wine. Also, the great magic-
items La Bouteille Magique de Chandon (Chandon's Amazing Bottle), Ring
Of Wine Spoiling, Tome of Viticulture, Ring of Alcohol Improvement,
Ring of Wine Changing, Bottle of Wine Summoning, Bull Bottle of Beer,
Staff of Alcohol. Also, a ton of quotes that appear at the beginning of
most of the sections and the ones that appear in the "Some Famous and
not so Famous Quotes on Wine" section. Not to be left out of the
monster business, he created the alcohol ants and the alcohol
hummingbirds (with help from Wes, WESC@ICHIPS.INTEL.COM, for help in
coming up with the initial stats for a normal hummingbird). Also, his
ideas and input created the "Alcohol Drink Additives" with the Cooler,
Memory Stealer, Something to Remember additives. Copyright (C) 1993 by
Ronald D. Jones. With permission given for free distribution if credit
is given. Editing is allowed for inclusion in a guide.

Sven De Kerpel (BITNET ADDRESS: SDKERPEL@VNET3.VUB.AC.BE) for his
comments on the rules, for the idea of back to zero for constitution
modifiers addition, for his weight modifiers idea which turned into the
weight optional rule, for his intelligence loss idea which turned into
the optional rule, for the idea of a booze creature which turned into
Lohocla the Leprechaun, for his alcohol meter and ring of intoxication
prevention magic-items ideas.

Max (BITNET ADDRESS: MXR@ARES.DSC.COM) for his alternative percentage
rule, finding a crucial multiplier error, smile addition to the
GargleBlaster drink, the 2nd breath weapon to the dragon, Wineskin of
Eternity and Crown of Vines magic-items, and the Klatchian Coffee
drink.

David Moursund (BITNET: DAVID_MOURSUND%20@HP6400.DESK.HP.COM or
MOURSUND@HPCVNB.CV.HP.COM) for his contributions to the Net Bard Book
from which I took "The Glory of Adventure" drinking song. Also, for his
poem in the title by Henry Aldrich. And numerous comments and
corrections on specific sections of the guide.

Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm from which his creation of Wimsy
Water was turned into Whimsy Wine as it appears here. Also, the
invention of experimental arrows which spawned the conversion to
Dionysus's Maltov Cocktails which ended up in their own section.

W.T. Marchant, author of In Praise of Ale, 1888 (renewed 1968), from
which the song "A Bumper of Good Liquor" (page 258), "To Taste the
Barrel", "Sons of Care, Twas Made For You" (page 257) was used. A
magnificent book.

Neal Menkus (Internet: menkusn@cs.cofc.edu) for the The Coronet in
Cinnabar write-up in the "Taverns and Bars From Novels" section.

M.S. (INTERNET: MS157489@LONGS.LANCE.COLOSTATE.EDU) for his O.D.B.
exotic drink.

Chris Murphy (INTERNET: IQM121@URIACC.URI.EDU) for his exotic drink
Glempe'.

Phlegma the Morbid (INTERNET: LAW@XIP.NRL.NAVY.MIL) for the Ring of
Intoxication magic-item.

David R. Rainbolt (BITNET: DRRAINBO@IUSMAIL.IUS.INDIANA.EDU) for his
great contribution of the Dwarven Thrower drink. Plus, his comments
for pricing drinks due to quality.

Max Rible (INTERNET: MONGO@NETCOM.COM) for the ideas presented in the
Holy/Unholy Alcohol section and his help with the final draft of it.

Robin F. Righettini (INTERNET: RFR@CX1GPX.LORD.COM) for a great idea
that turned into Red Righettini exotic drink.

Jonathan "Jon" Salter (INTERNET: JRS@OCCS.CS.OBERLIN.EDU) for a big
variety: the Wine pouring NWP, Sword of Continual Alcohol magic-item,
The Table weapon, Transmute Matter To Alcohol spell, The Silver Wolf
and The Utter Moron exotic drinks, Rainbow Dust alcohol drink additive,
Herlinte monster, and the wine mixing addition to the bartender NWP.

Andrew Scott (BITNET: ASCOTT@GU.UWA.EDU.AU) for his idea of giving
paladins a bonus when drinking.

Christopher A. Snyder Jr. (BITNET: VNWKVZA@GROVE.IUP.EDU) of Johnstown,
PA for the magic-items: "You Can't Out-Drink the Brewery" Flask,
Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery, Elixir of Pan, Elixir of Sobriety.
For the drinks Dragon's Breath and Cragg's Flaming Twister. Also, for
the spells Simple Distillation and Transmute Water to Wine. Also, for
the great information that became "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know
About Distilleries" section that inspired the "Proficiency In
Distilling" section. Also, information and thoughts that became "When
The Still Explodes" section. Finally, he came up with and advised on
the deadly FAE spell.

Elf Sternberg (BITNET: ELF@HALCYON.WA.COM) for the original idea of the
alcohol dragon which was found in Elf's GameBook (an addenda for AD&D
players), although it was very underdeveloped it was still a very good
idea that I developed into the great dragon presented here.

TSR's 1st Edition Dungeon Master's Guide from which ideas for the 1st
draft of the alcohol rules were derived. Its a shame things like
alcohol were lost in the politically-corrected 2nd edition. T$R changed
but its players never did.

Mark H. Vest (BITNET: MHVEST01%ULKYVM.LOUISVILLE.EDU@JHUVM.HCF.JHU.EDU)
for his Runkelstein's Black Beads magic-item.

Vinnie (BITNET: GTV@BOUW.TNO.NL) for his excellent and numerous
comments on all aspects of the guide. He came up with and inspired the
alcohol addiction idea and contributed to it immensely. Added the poor
labor comment to the alcohol introduction. Also, comments and additions
to the recovery section. Further, he gave the idea for chances of
popular drinks being in establishments.

Robert "Wee Willie" Winkel (s892804%MINYOS.XX.RMIT.OZ.AU@UUNET.UU.NET)
for the Tankard of Plenty magic-item.

Douglas P. Webb (dwebb@binkley.cs.mcgill.ca)for the Draco's Tavern
write-up in the "Taverns and Bars From Novels" section.

The World Book Encyclopedia of the great year 1956 (the only set I
have) from which some of the information used in the "The Different
Types Of Alcoholic Drinks".

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