

            THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO UNLAWFUL CARNAL KNOWLEDGE

                     FOR FANTASY ROLE-PLAYING GAMES

               The ruling passion, be it what it will,
               the ruling passion conquers reason still.

                                        ---  Alexander Pope

               Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,
               Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.

                                        --- Shakespeare

               Passion often makes a madman of the cleverest
               man, and renders the greatest fools clever.

                                        --- La Rouchefoucauld

               She weaves the winding-sheets of souls, and lays
               them in the urn of everlasting death.

                                        --- Pollok





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      This guide should not be used by anyone that the GM feels is
   either to young, to immature, or not a good enough role-player to
                   handle the topics presented here.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

                           COPYRIGHT (C) 1996

     All trademarks of products, company names, logos, phrases, service
names, and/or slogans are trademarks of the respective companies,
artists, and/or individuals, where applicable.

     The following guide is the property of its authors, who hereby
states that they retain the copyright except for where noted. You may
distribute it at will, provided that nothing in the guide, this notice,
or any of the credits are altered in any way; and that you do not make
a profit from it.

     This document is not for sale and is made available for private
game use only.

                           *** DISCLAIMER ***

     All contents of this guide are presented for game purposes only.
Advice oriented information is not to be taken as legal consultation or
legal service, but as suggestions and examples of real-world or
hypothetical models. Always consult a lawyer for legal and lawful
guidance. The opinions and views contained in this guide reflect those
of the individual authors. The opinions, content, and organization of
this document are in no way connected with the faculty and staff of any
educational institute where this guide was found.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           TABLE OF CONTENTS


Initial Reactions To This Guide
Preface
Guide Game Mechanics
The Wild-Thing Rules
Inter-Species Fertility
Conception: What are the odds?
Pregnancy In A RPG?
When Does The Stork Come?
Spells For The Mother
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
On The Subject Of A Shapechanging Mother And Child
The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got?
Sexual Tendency
The Bitch Rule
The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only
Seduction: More Than Reaction Rolls
Seduction For The Professional
Non-Weapon Skills
Sexualis Morbus (Sexual Diseases)
Sexual Insanity?
On Sex And Sexuality In The Realms
Spells With Zip
Clerics Would Use These Spells?
A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs
Sexual Psionic Powers
Magic Items Your Mom Wouldn't Approve Of
Cupid's Chaotic Arrows
Protection Of The Worst Kind (For The Male)
Houri: Wizard Sub-Class
Seducer: Wizard Sub-Class
Seductress: Rogue Sub-Class
Psiducer: Psionicist Sub-Class
"I'm Just A Gigolo..." Gigolo: Bard Sub-Class
Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator)
Filling The House Of Ill Repute
Case: The Blue Tavern (Entertainment And Pleasure)
Encounter Non-Player Characters
Porno Periodicals Of Humanoids
Sexist Quotes
Other Tidbits
An Abyss Level
Adventuring Ideas
ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC?
ESSAY: Has Anyone Played A Homosexual Character?
Plots For Homosexual Characters
A Few Good Stories
Special Thanks
The INTERET Controversy Of The Guide


                                                  LAST UPDATE: 01/01/96
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                    INITIAL REACTIONS TO THIS GUIDE


"I think that saying 'my campaign has no place for sex because my
players satisfy their sexual needs elsewhere' is roughly the same as
boasting that your campaign has no place for the green color, because
when your players want to see green, they go and look at your petunias.
Our lives and our characters' lives are different things altogether."

                                                  --- Luwain

"The sex guide is interesting to say the least."

"...it's a pretty handy guide to have really."

                                                  --- Matt

"The people in my group love the guide!!!"

"Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a
 wight lich !!!"

                                                  --- Larry

"...let me intrude to tell you that my wife and I really like
 what you have come up with."

"We both have rather chaotic sensual souls as characters."

                                                  --- Morgan Blackheart

"It certainly has some interesting ideas in there."

"My friend, who is GM'ing this rather, umm, slutty city, has made good
usage from it..."

                                                  --- Steve

"There where nice ideas."               "Great Idea & Fun!"

"...it looks GREAT !!!"                 "It looks good & Fun."

                                                  --- Vinnie

"Well, I've read over the pages and it looks GREAT!"

                                                  --- Mike

"It takes perversion to a higher level."

                                                  --- Brian

"I...found it quite enjoyable and reasonable for application to RPGs."

"The guide is really good -- I am very impressed with the work..."

                                                  --- Jason

"I have looked it over gleefully..."

                                                  --- Lonadar

"It looks great! We've been pondering the problems of pregnancy...It
looks as if your manual will take care of that and lots lots lots
more."

                                                  --- Lisamarie Babik

"I also wanted to tell you that your compilation of sex in RPG rules
was hilariously funny and extremely FUN."

                                                  --- Adam

 "...really wild! I really enjoyed the humor and couldn't resist in
printing a copy for myself."

"The sex guide did have its moments..."

"I am looking forward in hearing from you again."

                                                  --- The Mage (Nancy)

"Reading your guide was real fun and I think using it will be even more
fun."

                                                  --- Mike

"I enjoyed your guide, and it will certainly add some spice to my next
campaign."

                                                  --- Mike W.

"I just wanted to commend you for the guide... It was great... the
imagination of everyone involved was excellent."

                                                  --- J.J.

"Fascinating guide you have here."

"You and others have obviously spent a lot of time and effort bringing
it to its present incarnation."

"I am most impressed, and can't wait to pore over it in more detail."

                                                  --- Corwin

"Interesting and amusing."

                                                  --- David

"I found it really amusing, and while I'm not sure if I will use its
materials in my games I find it is really inspiring..."

                                                  --- Roberto Di Meglio

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I just looked over the Sex Guide and
I must say: FANTASTIC!!!   GREAT!!!   SUPERB!!!!"

                                                  --- Alexander

"Excellent work, and thorough."

                                                  --- Scott

"I read you guide... Its very good!!! Thanks a lot."

                                                  --- Carlos

"Thank you very much! From the short look I had at the guide just now
it looks good and useful. Always nice to see something both amusing and
functional."

                                                  --- Rhonda

"...by the way I am greatly impressed -- it will help out with my GMing
immensely."

                                                  --- Sasha

"I just wanted to write and tell you I loved it..."

"It was amazing."

"I didn't realize how much you could actually put into SEX in RPGs."

"I plan to be starting an RPG world soon, and I hope to use it."

"Thank you very much, and once again, I think you have done a marvelous
job!"

                                                  --- James

"Most Excellent!"

                                                  --- Joe

"I really really enjoy the guide to sex!"

"I think it is the funniest thing I have read in a long time."

"Bravo, good job, two thumbs up."

                                                  --- Thomas Forlorn

"I enjoyed the Guide to Sex. It was worth many a hearty guffaw."

                                                  --- Robin

"You did an excellent job on it."

                                                  --- Rich

"I found the Sex Guide rather humorous."

"I don't know if my GM is going to use it but I might find some of the
stuff useful, if not entertaining for other players."

                                                  --- Eric

"I appreciate you work and thank you for it."

"I use a German role-playing system here. So of course I have to redo
the game-specific things. However, this document is a great collection
of ideas and I'm going to use a lot of it."

                                                  --- Donald

"I wrote to say THANKS A LOT FOR WRITING/COMPILING/EDITING the guide."

"...it's just wonderful, funny to read, useful and well written."

"Again, thanks a lot for the guide... just GREAT."

                                                  --- Jarmas

"Thank you for the info in the Sex Guide. It has already proved
helpful, because of the pregnancy of one of the elves, the rest of the
female characters are mellowing out on the drinking/sex everytime we
enter a town. The males are also chilling out, I think they know that
they are running a chance for disease now."

                                                  --- Arden

"The Complete Guide to Sex has become my GM's guide."

                                                  --- Callen

"I got the Sex Guide, a friend sent me a copy. I shrugged it off as
perverted :) But then scanned through it anyway. My apologies, it is
not at all what I expected!"

"I am taking my PC's through the realms for a while, then plan to whisk
them off to Raven for a laugh. You have given me some great ideas to
throw at my poor PC's :)"

                                                  --- Deanna

"I must say that your guide is great! When I showed it to my players
they loved it so much that we will start an adventure inspired by it."

                                                  --- Roberto

"This is very interesting and funny to relax with in a game! But all my
party wants to know when you will complete them!!"

                                                  --- The Unnamed

"I've been reading your wonderful Guide to Sex, and I found it great!"

                                                  --- Javier

"It was so excellent I had to take it home to read because I would of
interrupted the whole computer center with my laughter. My group also
loves it, we intend to play a modified game using your rules."

                                                  --- Fred

"I just wanted to say that your book is probably the funniest thing
I've ever seen written for RPGs."

                                                  --- Stephen

"It started out as a small simple project, but it splooged into a
massive document of infinite knowledge."

"Who'd a thought anybody would show an interest."

                                                  --- Guide Creator

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                                PREFACE


     Most everybody has had a character come in contact with a person
of the opposite sex, but the encounter was nothing more than the brief
statement: "I'll have sex with the fair lass and leave". This leaves
out a lot of exciting role playing that can turn into a lot of
humorous anecdotes. What if one of the involved people can't "perform"?
What about getting a disease? Getting pregnant? Spells? Magic-Items?
Classes? But where could a player find a could source of information?
     On a RPG discussion list (an electronic mail forum for RPGs), a
person posted rules for characters to have sex. I though that this was
quite clever and a little demented. Well, just having a few sex rules
didn't seem to useful except for its comic appeal so I made some
diseases and insanities to make it more interesting. I thought I had a
pretty nice guide so I requested some help on the list for people to
look it over. Well, this caused quite a stir and I realized that the
guide was very incomplete as suggestions for more sections started
pouring in. Well, over a few months ideas, comments, criticisms, and
additions kept coming. I even established a small mailing list to
correspond to these people. By far the best thing to come out of this
guide was the useful information on pregnancy which was much needed for
most RPGs.
     I saw some successful guides created by another list member, so I
asked if I could mimic his organizational style and other key elements
like the title, copyright, preface, quoting, etc.. We are both hoping
that this style will be used in other works to bring some type of unity
to all net-guides. Eventually, this final product was reached.
     This guide will add a new and often times funny dimension to any
campaign. The key is funny. One objective was to try and keep it light
and fun. Although some things may be considered perverse, it was
created in an jocular fashion. The intent isn't to offend or disgust it
is only to enhance the game. This guide is so extensive that there
should be something for everybody. And if not, then you can just throw
it away (it's not like you had to pay for it or something). I'm sure
that companies have plans to publish there own guide <yeah, right>.
     For the most part, the information enclosed will have been
play-tested and in a workable form. In others, you may have to make
further adjustments to fit the ideas into your campaign.
     This material is the fruit of labor from a few great people of the
Internet. Although some material is my own, it is not all my own.  Most
of the material was submitted from others, and I merely edited it.
Also, many people inspired much of the guide.  Plus, they made a
considerable amount of suggestions, comments, and criticisms.
Acknowledgment to these people is given in the Special Thanks section
of this guide.
     I prefer that this guide is not mass distributed. This is a very
extensive supplement that few deserve. Most criticized, mocked, and
scorned me and my comrades while creating it. Only people who are
helpful, creative, and appreciative deserve to view this guide.
Therefore, be wise and selective when distributing it and don't give it
to every Tom, Dick, and Conan.
     For those that do receive this guide, I ask that the material is
unchanged. Of course I can't really stop anybody from doing what they
want. I just ask that you respect those who made this guide possible
because I'm sure that they will continue to make great material for
RPGs.

                                             The Guide Creator

P.S.

     Much criticism has been aimed at this guide because of its topics.
Some feel that characters are forced to roll instead of role-play. Some
feel that its contradictory to increase role-playing by adding more
tables.
     I don't think that some rules hamper role-playing. A lot of
players don't like bad things to happen to their characters and will
prevent these things to happen. Having the rules allows the GM to
ensure that the character suffers, but fairly. Of course the player
must still role-play, but now he will know what abilities are effected.
On the same note, I find that tables give the characters something to
work with instead of just saying something is happening. The character
still must role-play. It just helps to give the players some direction.
Being free to let a character do anything in the name of role-playing
isn't right. RPGs have many rules and to criticize rules that others
make isn't fair. Why not criticize the combat system, spell casting,
and such? You could say that the limitations put on spells
hampers role-playing. Why not let characters flourish with dramatic
spell-use that isn't encumbered with rules? My point is that some rules
are to much, but using certain ones that you like at the right time
will enhance role-playing by giving players something to work with.
     However, I do feel that some rules are encumbersome. I didn't care
for the sex rules in this guide and haven't used them, but some people
do and that is fine. The conception rules I feel are useful because
characters find out if they are pregnant randomly (for females) without
the GM deciding. Because when the GM decides, the character assumes
(with good reason) that the pregnancy occurred for some dastardly plot
reason.
     There are many types of players around, some like rules others
don't. I just put everything in my guides based on what people ask for.
I don't limit the guide to just what I want. I just don't use what I
like. I make available what people want and suggest.
     I would like to quote a friend, Morgan, who seems to say it all
about people's complaints:

     "I think all those that complain that guides are too strict or
     difficult to roll are a wee too steeped in the judicial side of
     the game, i.e. following the rules to the letter. I suppose
     someone ought to mention that what you're doing is creating guides
     for those who want to have a bit more realism in certain
     situations, not creating rules that MUST be played. In general,
     I've found a lot of useful ideas contained in your guides which
     can be used or abused to make my games more enjoyable. Thanks for
     collecting all of this stuff."



                          GUIDE GAME MECHANICS


     The rules presented are intended for any RPG. Because of the
variance between games, the mechanics used in this guide are explained
here.


     The guide uses eight attributes for a character. These attributes
are as followed:

     Physical Strength - physical power.

     Intelligence - knowledge and wit.

     Wisdom - judgement and common sense.

     Constitution - heartiness and "spirit".

     Charisma - allure, charm, and leadership.

     Dexterity - prowess and quickness.

     Luck - fortune and fate.

     Attractiveness - comeliness and physical looks.

Number references to attributes use the 3 to 18 scale which is common
among RPGs. Some RPGs use a percentile scale for attributes, if this is
desired merely multiple the number listed by 5.56 to get the
percentage.


     Most systems have some system for characters to get out or save
themselves from dangerous situations. Systems vary but the following
categories are used here:

     paralyzation, poison, death magic, demon/deity power and other
     really nasty stuff.

     rod, staff, wand, and other powerful magic-items (no artifacts).

     petrifaction, polymorph, and other magics that severely alter the
     body.

     breath weapon and other powerful natural attacks.

     spells, and other common magical effects.


     Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this
guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG
system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with
the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level
accordingly.


     A sub-class is a standard class that provides more specific
detail. The sub-class sections have the following info:

     Introduction/Description/Role - Information.

     Qualifications - Requirements.

     Specialty - Another name for the class.

     Preferred Schools/Barred Schools - For clerics and mages, these
     are the magic schools. There are a variety of schools in many
     systems so the most popular ones are used here. Schools are
     necromancy, alteration, enchantment, invocation, evocation,
     conjuring/summoning/thaumaturgy, illusion, deviation, abjuration.

     Chosen Disciplines/Sciences/Devotions - Most psionics in RPGs are
     broken down into a hierarchy of powers. In this guide devotions
     are the powers at the bottom.

     Secondary Skills - Other abilities.

     Weapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for weapons.

     Nonweapon Skill - Requirements and suggestions for non-weapon
     abilities.

     Equipment - Suggested and banned equipment.

     Special Benefits/Special Hindrances - The mechanics that make the
     sub-class.

     Wealth Options - Monetary information.

     Races - Races allowed.

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                          THE WILD-THING RULES

                     (There's one in every bunch!)


     NOTE: These rules are not necessarily suppose to be taking
seriously. If anything, they are provided for your amusement. It seems
people will make rules for anything. Before throwing this guide a way
because of this section, you might want to read the whole guide and
then only throw out sections like this one. And if you keep sections
like this one, you may want to seek counseling :)

     There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he/she wants to
engage in the act of sex. Unfortunately, most RPG rule books avoid the
subject for obvious reasons. A player rolls dice from pottery to
dancing, so why not sex.

     At first glance, it may seem that a character can have sex for
quite a long time. This is true for player characters. They have
superior attributes and thus can perform better (that's why they're
great adventurers). However, an average character would have attributes
between 9-12. Using the below rules, an average character (10 or 11 in
all attributes) could go a minimum of 10 or 11 minutes (rounds) and
might be able to go an additional 10 or 11 minutes if very, very luck
(dice deities willing, but don't bet on it).
     Some GMs may feel that certain races should be more adept at sex
than others. Many arguments can be made for every race. The one race
that most people feel should have modifiers is the dwarf race. However,
since theses rules are based on constitution and since initial
character generation gives bonus or penalties to Constitution (dwarves
get +1), it is not necessary to give additional modifiers to race.

     The following is the steps to go through to see if a character can
continue having sex:

1)  A character can initially last a minimum of rounds equal to his/her
Constitution with certain modifiers. Table 1 lists modifiers to
Constitution by dexterity (remember: it's how you use it). Table 2
lists modifiers to Constitution by strength (gotta be able to keep up).
Table 3 lists modifiers to Constitution by the partner's Charisma
(charismatic partners really enhance sex, even if their Attractiveness
isn't high). If he/she wishes to continue, then he/she must make
Constitution checks (Step 2).

2)  After the initial rounds pass, the character must make a
Constitution check for each round he/she wishes to continue. Modifiers
to this check are from Table 1 and Table 2 And Table 3, plus cumulative
modifier of -1. The character also needs to make a time to climax (TTC)
check. A 1 on a 1d6 for males and a 1 on a 1d10 for women indicates
such an occurrence. An additional TTC roll is made and a result of 1
indicates multiple orgasms (keep rolling while 1s come up). Of course,
males could have trouble continuing after this, but the player can make
such decisions.

3)  A failed check means the character lost interest for whatever
reason.

NOTE: In most cases it take two to tango, so remember to keep track of
all participates.


Table 1: Dexterity Modifier

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -4   <-- not much fun
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4   <-- someone could get hurt


Table 2: Strength Modifier

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -4   <-- wears out easily
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4   <-- nasty


Table 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -4
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4

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                        INTER-SPECIES FERTILITY


     Amongst races, there are four varying breeding relationships
listed in Table A.


TABLE A: Relationships

Relationship   Example
Identical      human vs. human
Similar        human vs. elf, human vs. halfling
Related        human/horse vs. centaur, human/elf vs. half-elf
Different      human vs. eagle, human vs. horse


     Whether or not two individuals can produce offspring depends on
the relationship and conditions given in Table B.


TABLE B: Relationships Based on Conditions

Relationship: Identical
Additional Requir.: None
Chance of Fertility: As normal
Result: As per race

Relationship: Similar
Additional Requir.: None
Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races
Result: Half breed

Relationship: Related
Additional Requir.: None
Chance of Fertility: As the lesser fertile of the two races
Result: Produce pure breed of the race the size of the female (see
        below)

Relationship: Different
Additional Requir.: Magical or divine intervention
Chance of Fertility: 0% (without intervention) or 100% (with)
Result: Produce a new race that may be fertile and breed true


     Size (of the creature you filthy minded churl) may play a part in
some crossbreeds. For example, in human/horse/centaur pairings. The
result depends, in part, on the physical size of the parents. Consult
Table C.


TABLE C: Size

Relationship   Race of Father   Race of Mother   Race of child
Similar        Human (Elf)      Elf (Human)      Half-elf
Related        Human (Half-elf) Half-elf (Human) Human or Half-elf
Related        Elf (Half-elf)   Half-elf (Elf)   Elf or Half-elf
Different      Human            Horse            Centaur (with interv.)
Different      Horse            Human            None (or a dead woman)
Related        Human (Centaur)  Centaur (Human)  Human
Related        Horse (Centaur)  Centaur (Horse)  Horse


     There is one interesting exception, humans and halflings. While
they are fertile with each other, such a pairing will only produce one
or the other race. This may be because they are so similar that there
can be no half breed race. Consult Table Cb.


TABLE Cb: Halfling-Human Size

Relationship   Race of Father   Race of Mother   Race of child
Similar        Human            Halfling         Halfling
Similar        Halfling         Human            Halfling or Human


      For some specific races, the relationships are given on Table D.


TABLE D: Specific Races

Race      Relationship    Examples
Centaur   Similar         None
          Related         Horse, Human.
          Different       Most other races
Elf       Identical       Elf (all varieties)
          Similar         Human
          Related         Drider
          Different       Most other races
Half-elf  Similar         None
          Related         Elf, Human
          Different       Most other races
Human     Similar         Elf, Halfling, Ogre, Orc (and variations)
          Related         Centaur, Half-elf, Half-orc, Minotaur, Satyr
          Different       Most other races


     On the specific case of and elf and a centaur use the following
suggested rules:

     - Elves and centaurs relate as "different", therefore there is no
fertility without intervention.

     - Elves are "similar" to humans who are "related" to centaurs, but
this two part relationship still translates into "different".


     These rules are not complete but hopefully gives the GM a good
base to develop specific rules for inter-species breeding.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                     CONCEPTION: WHAT ARE THE ODDS?


     Sure characters screw around, but it never seems like they get
anybody pregnant or get pregnant themselves unless on a whim of the GM.
UNTIL NOW! Below is a very simple system to make the decision fairly.
     To start, get the base chance for each character (Table 1) that
participated in sex and add the appropriate Constitution modifiers
(Table 2). Then roll percentile dice for each person. A successful roll
indicates fertility. If both are fertile than conception has occurred.
Of course, this assumes that both characters are of compatible race and
are at age where conception can occur (GM's judgment), and it is the
female's fertile time of the month. Some GM's may allow all races to
reproduce offspring. Other GMs may limit which races can breed
together. This decision should remain that of individual GMs, but
suggestions are given in the previous section.


Table 1: Base Chance

         Base
Race    Chance
Dwarf     22%
Elf       13%
Gnome     20%
Half-Elf  54%
Halfling  50%
Human     77%

NOTE: The maximum age for each race was divided by 100. This number was
divided into 100% to get the base chance (fractions rounded). This
gives an accurate representation of how fertile an overall race is. If
a GM wishes to add more races, all that would be needed is the maximum
age of that race.


Table 2: Constitution modifiers

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -6%
 06-08        -4%
 09-10        -2%
 11-12        +2%
 13-15        +4%
 16-18        +6%


PROTECTION FROM PREGNANCY

     The base chance can be reduced by half if the popular technique of
coitus interruptus (pulling out by the male). The male must make an
ability check against (Wisdom+Dexterity)/2 where Wisdom is the
willpower required to stop the fun when it gets better and Dexterity is
the quickness to accomplish the mission. Only if the check is made will
the chance be reduced (even if successful there is always the chance of
pregnancy).
     Natural condoms made of various materials could be commonly used.
These include condoms made with vegetable fibers or animal tissue which
would be quite rare and expense (around 10 silver pieces). Such condoms
would only be effective in preventing pregnancy 25% of the time.
Another option would be to lower the chance of pregnancy by 75%.


AGE

     Some may argue that age should play an important role in
fertility, but age isn't represented in these rules. However,
Constitution plays a role in fertility and Constitution is used here. A
character's Constitution fluctuates because of age in most RPGs. Thus,
age is taken into consideration because of Constitution changes due to
age. To make any more modifiers would be double jeopardy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                          PREGNANCY IN A RPG?


                          -------------------


                          LENGTH OF PREGNANCY


     With mammals, gestation period is usually dependent on size.
Instead of making things complicated, size is not dependant on
gestation in these rules but rather maximum age. This will be explained
after Table 1.
     Table 1 lists the length of pregnancy for each race. Also, it
lists the duration of each stage of the pregnancy. The length of each
stage is given as well. Half-elf pregnancies could last as long as 24
months or as little as 9 months depending on how much human or elf the
unborn child is. The number given is for GMs who don't want to bother
with complicated inter-racial percentages.


TABLE 1: Pregnancy

               Total Length     Duration of
Race           of Pregnancy     Each Stage
Elf             24 months       2 months 20 days
Gnome           16 months       1 months 24 days
Dwarf           15 months       1 months 20 days
Halfling         7 months       0 months 24 days
Human            9 months       1 month   0 days
Half-Elf        12 months       1 months 10 days


     NOTE: The length of pregnancy was derived from the assumption that
an elf's pregnancy lasts 24 months and that the elves life span is 750
years. 750 divided by 24 yields the number 31.25. 31.25 was then
divided into the life spans of all races to get the length of pregnancy
with the exception of humans. Since human pregnancy in an RPG can have
real-world basis, the length is given as 9 months. 14.44 (derived from
dividing 130 by 9) could have been used rather than 31.25 but the 31.25
is based on the fantasy elf race and so that number was used for the
other fantasy races. GMs may alter the list as they wish.


                            TWINS OR BETTER


     For those GM's who want to add a little spice to the pregnancy,
Table 1b gives the chance of more than one child being born based on
race. For example, a human has a 1 in 10 chance of having twins while a
dwarf has a 1 in 100,000 chance of having twins. This can also be
interrupted as 1 in 10 humans having twin sibling while 1 in 100,000
dwarfs have a twin sibling.
     These chances are only suggestions and GMs may adjust the table as
he sees fit for his campaign.


TABLE 1b: Chance of more than one child

Race            Twin        Trip        Quad        Quint        Sex
Human             10          100      1,000       10,000    100,000
Halfling         100        1,000     10,000      100,000  1,000,000
Half-Elf         500        5,000      5,000       50,000    500,000
Elf            1,000       10,000    100,000    1,000,000        n/a
Gnome         10,000      100,000  1,000,000          n/a        n/a
Dwarf        100,000    1,000,000        n/a          n/a        n/a


                          STAGES OF PREGNANCY


     Each stage of pregnancy is listed below with the effects that the
pregnant character will suffer. Refer to the effects section for
specifics. Elf pregnancies are quite nice and comfortable. Therefore,
GMs may forgo certain unpleasant effects for pregnant elves.


1st Stage

     - Check for mood swings at 55% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (20%).
     - Lower constitution by 1 because of increased fatigue.

2nd Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 65% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (25%).
     - Lower constitution by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to
       constitution because of increased fatigue.
     - Increase in urination output.

3rd Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 75% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (30%).
     - Danger during spell-casting.
     - Increase in urination output.

4th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (10%).
     - Noticeable weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race.
     - Food cravings: Friends may be sent on wild treks to find exotic
       food to curb the pregnant women's cravings.
     - Lower dexterity by 1 due to loss of agility.
     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer a -5%.
     - +5% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

5th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.
     - Check for morning sickness (05%).
     - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race.
     - Food cravings.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -2 to
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an additional -5%.
     - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

6th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 25% chance.
     - Weight gain. Increase weight appropriate to race. Adjustment to
       armor size is likely and probably expensive.
     - Food cravings.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -3 to
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Thief skills Climb and Move Silently suffer an added -1d10%.
     - +1d6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort.

7th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 35% chance.
     - Check for backache.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -4 to
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.
     - +1d6+6% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of
       concentration.

8th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 45% chance.
     - Check for backache.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -5 to
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.
     - +2d6+3% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of
       concentration.


9th Stage

     - Check for mood swings for this stage at 55% chance.
     - Check for backache.
     - Lower dexterity by an additional 1 for a total of -6 to
       dexterity because of lack of agility.
     - Speed cut by half. Must rest triple the normal amount of times.
     - +3d6+2% chance of spell failure due to discomfort and lack of
       concentration.
     - Develops nesting habits (i.e. desire to make a warm, cozy home
       and prefer not to go anywhere).


                                EFFECTS


BACKACHE

     The formula to check for backache is as followed: 50% - (Strength
+ Constitution) + 5 for every previous stage of backache. The backache
lasts for 2d4 days. If a woman has a backache, she is in great pain.
She should get rest and not engage in strenuous activity. If she
decides to, the GM may want to impose a 1d4 hit point loss for every
turn of strenuous activity to simulate the agony.
     Usually in the last three stages of pregnancy, backache is
constant, so GMs may wish this upon the character. GMs may desire to
make a temporarily (until pregnancy is over) drastic reduction of hit
points to simulate the constant agony of the woman.


MOOD SWINGS (THE BITCH RULE)

The following are the steps to develop a moody female:

     - The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for
       an attitude.

     - The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually
       stressful (i.e. after melee, during an argument, etc.).

     - Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other
       player characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one
       reroll may happen each day. The reroll represents people who
       influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or
       for worse).

     - For a roll of 6 on Table 2, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates
       an obsessive behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about
       whatever the party is doing at the moment to the point of not
       letting anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her
       goal.


TABLE 2: Moods & Attitudes

Die
Roll      Moods & Attitudes
 1        happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly
 2        self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic
 3        pissed off, vengeful, cruel
 4        depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate
 5        depressed. brooding, pessimistic
 6        restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with
          things, roll 1d6 for obsession check


     Needless to say, running a character with all of these different
attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to
roll play to a maximum.


MORNING SICKNESS

     Roll d% on Table 3 to get the level of morning sickness. If the
woman continues to have morning sickness from a previous stage, then an
additional rule on the table isn't necessary.
     Mild morning sickness consists of 1 to 2 hours of nausea a day.
Moderate morning sickness lasts 1d4 hours a day after which check for 1
to 2 hours of nausea with-1 penalty.  Chronic morning sickness lasts
2d4 hours a day after which check for 1d4 hours of nausea with -2
penalty.


TABLE 3: Level Of Morning Sickness

Die
Roll      Level        How Long
01-60     None         n/a
61-80     Mild         3 stages
81-98     Moderate     5 stages
99-00     Chronic      9 stages


NAUSEA

     A character has nausea if a constitution ability check is failed.
A person with nausea feels like vomiting. The character has difficulty
concentrating and therefore has a -05% chance of spell failure for
every hour of nausea. Furthermore, she suffers a -1 to dexterity and
strength for the duration of nausea.


                CHARISMA, ATTRACTIVENESS, AND PREGNANCY


     Some feel that there should be a charisma penalty imposed to a
pregnant character. Supposedly, pregnant women find themselves fat,
ugly, and undesirable. Thus, they don't give of an aura of coolness,
magnetism, leadership, and determination. Not to many will follow a
moody, weak woman. This "ugly" state would also be reflected in
attractiveness.
     Others feel that a pregnant character should get a bonus to
charisma. Supposedly, pregnant women "glow with motherhood". Being
pregnant is the essence of womanhood and many males find this
attractive. In fact, a pregnant woman can get people to wait on her
beckon call because she seems so helpless. This "natural beauty" can be
reflected in attractiveness.
     Given these completely different views. A GM should make charisma
adjustments based on the individual views of those that the pregnant
character meets. Thus, one NPC may find her attractive and thus she
gains a bonus to attractiveness and charisma. On the other hand, an NPC
can find her repulsive and thus she suffers a penalty to attractiveness
and charisma.


                  DANGEROUS EFFECTS ON A UNBORN CHILD


SPELL-CASTING

     A pregnant mage or cleric can cause weird things to happen to an
unborn child if she casts spells after the 2nd stage of pregnancy.
Magic is the ability to shape, control, harness, and utilize natural
forces that infuse the world and surround the character. When a mage or
cleric uses her magic ability, this force can influence the development
of an unborn child.
     Every time a mage or cleric casts a spell after the 2nd stage of
pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to the spell level that an
effect has occurred.
     For example, Roxanne The Mage is in her 3 stage of pregnancy. She
casts a 2nd level spell. There is a 2% that the unborn child is
effected. The player rolls a 25 on the percentile dice and thus nothing
happens to the unborn. Then, Roxanne casts a 3rd level spell. Now there
is a 5% (2+3) chance of the unborn child to be effected. But the
percentile dice show a 56 and the child is safe.


PSIONICS

     A psionicist shapes, controls, harnesses, and utilizes natural
forces that infuse her own being. The essence of a psionicist is mind
and body. Since the unborn is in the body, psionic powers that are
manifested can greatly effect the unborn child.
     For every psionic strength point (PSP) used by the psionicist
after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to
the number of expended PSPs that an effect has occurred.


EXTRAPLANAR TRAVEL

     Each time a pregnant character travels to another plane after the
2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance that an effect has
occurred.
     Going to the elemental planes gives a cumulative 5% chance of an
effect occurring.
     Going to the ethereal plane gives a cumulative 25% chance that an
effect has occurred.
     Going to the astral plane gives a cumulative 50% chance that an
effect has occurred because of the strain.
     The effects of going to the outer planes is relative to alignment.
For each difference in alignment there is a cumulative 2% chance that
an effect has occurred. Thus, a lawful good character visiting a
chaotic evil outer plane will give the unborn child a 12% (lawful ->
neutral -> chaotic = 3 or 6%, good -> neutral -> evil = 3 or 6% for a
total of 12%) chance of an effect.


LEVEL DRAINING

     Every time the pregnant woman loses a level for whatever reason
after the 2nd stage of pregnancy, there is cumulative chance equal to
the number of levels drained multiplied by 10 that an effect has
occurred. If an effect does occur, minus 5 to the die roll on the Type
of Effect Table for each level drained.


MAGICAL AGING

     If any aging effect is inflicted upon the pregnant woman (such as
a Haste spell), the aging effect is split between the mother and child
equally. This, of course, may cause immediate labor and birth of the
child. Due to increased development rate, the child must make a system
shock roll based on its mother's constitution. Failure indicates that
an effect occurs.


     If there is an effect roll on the following table (subtracting the
stage of pregnancy, i.e. add 10 if in the 5th stage of pregnancy) to
decide if the effect is positive or negative (use appropriate
modifiers).


TABLE 4: Type of Effect

01-25     Positive; roll on Positive Effects Table 5
26-00     Negative; roll on Negative Effects Table 6


TABLE 5: Positive Effects (ROLL 1d10)

1: Born with infravision which enables child to see up to 60 feet in
the dark. If the child's race already has the benefit of infravision
than add 20 feet to the range.

2: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or death
magic.

3: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand.

4: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph.

5: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. breath weapon.

6: Born with a +1 bonus to all saves vs. spell.

7: Born with 10d10 - 5 % magic resistance.

8: Born with a lifetime regeneration ability. The child will be able to
naturally (subconsciously) regenerate 1 hit point every turn.

9: Born with a natural (subconscious) ability to "turn" 1 Hit Die
undead. Great potential for child to grow up to be a infamous cleric.

10: Born with a psionic wild talent. If the effect was created due to
psionics, then two wild talents develop.


TABLE 6: Negative Effects (ROLL 1d12)

1: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. paralyzation, poison, or
death magic.

2: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. rod, staff, or wand.

3: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. petrifaction or polymorph.

4: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. breath weapon.

5: Born with a -1 penalty to all saves vs. spell.

6: Unborn is mutated into a demon. Possible possessed by the evil
intelligence of a demonic creature. The GM should decide what type of
demon the child shall be.

7: Radically different coloration of skin. The color change can either
be advantageous or disadvantageous to the child, depending on whether
the new color will give him/her a camouflage appearance or make him/her
a laughing stock. A child's color can change to any other color. The
color change is left to the GM and is limited only by the imagination.

8: The child's eyes are much different than normal. Roll 1d6 to
determine the types of eyes: 1 = huge and protruding; 2 = small and
stalked like a crab's; 3 = large ad turreted, move independently like a
chameleon; 4 = appear normal but child has 1d4 additional eyes; 5 =
multifaceted like an insect's; 6 = the child appears to have no eyes
(any eye sockets are empty, but the child moves and reacts like one
with normal vision).

9: The child's eyes appear and function normally except for their
color: 1 = solid black; 2 = blank white; 3 = glowing red; 4 = glowing,
venomous green; 5 = putrid pink; 6 = opalescent.

10: The skull or head of the child is adorned with unusual outgrowths.
While it is possible for a child to attack with these outgrowths (when
he/she grows up), this mutation does not give the child an additional
attack per round. Roll 1d4 to determine the type of adornment: 1 =
antlers, as a small deer, that do 1-2 hp slashing and rendering damage
each; 2 = horns, as a small bull, doing 1-3 hp stabbing damage each; 3
= single horn, like a small unicorn horn without magical properties,
doing 1-4 hp stabbing damage; 4 = curved horns, like a ram, that can be
used to butt an opponent for 1-4 hp damage.

11: The child has a tail. While it is possible to use the tail for
attack, this does not give an additional attack per round. Roll 1d4 to
determine the type of tail: 1 = short, useless, and non-functioning; 2
= long and prehensile, can be used to hold a shield or other object but
cannot be used in attack; 3 = long and segmented, ending in a
nonpoisonous stinger that does 1-4 hp damage; 4 = long and whip-like,
can be used to inflict 1-2 hp damage.

12: REROLL

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                       WHEN DOES THE STORK COME?


     Normally, labor will occur 36+1d4 weeks after conception for
humans, elves, and half-elfs. Labor will occur 38-1d4 weeks after
conception for dwarves and halflings.


MISCARRIAGES

     When a character suffers over 50% of total hit points in damage,
there is a chance that she suffers a miscarriage based on how long she
has been pregnant. For the first three stages (1,2,3) the chance of a
miscarriage is 50%. For the second three stages (4,5,6) the chance of a
miscarriage is 25% The woman has 3d4 hours to get to a cleric for a
Cure Critical Wounds to save the child. Of course, the child must make
a system shock based on its mother's constitution to survive. In the
case of a miscarriage, there is a 25% of hemorrhaging. Hemorrhaging
causes 3d6 points of internal damage to the character.
     For the last three stages (7,8,9) instead of a miscarriage there
is a 50% chance for a premature birth.


LABOR & BIRTH

     When a women has her first child, she will be in labor 4d6 hours.
Subsequent labors will be for 1d10 hours.
     The chance for a successful birth is based on the following
formula (use mom's stats): success % = System Shock + (2 * Strength).

     The GM has two options for an unsuccessful birth. Kind GMs can
make the mother make a system shock/2. If she succeeds then the child
makes a roll to check for failure on the table based on the following
formula: (system shock/2) - 1 for each day premature. (NOTE: subtract
10% from the table for each day the child is premature.) This option
gives the character and child a second chance.  A more sinister GM can
require a roll on the table without any second chances.


TABLE 7: Failed Birth (Roll 1d%)

01-40     child dies
41-80     mother dies
81-98     both dies
99-00     Both live (one last chance for success)

GMs may adjusted the table based on their own campaign.


RECOVERY FROM BIRTH

     The mother must spend 1d6+3 days in recovery. If the character
wishes to engage in strenuous activities rather than recover, the GM
can implement penalties to abilities (i.e. strength, constitution,
dexterity). The bitch rule should remain in effect for an additional
1d4 weeks after birth.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         SPELLS FOR THE MOTHER


Level 1
Detect Pregnancy                   Prevent Nausea
Summon Midwife

Level 2
Assist Labor & Birth

Level 6
'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy


Detect Pregnancy (Divination)

Class: Cleric
Level: 1
Sphere: Divination
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: None

     This spell enables the priest to detect pregnancy in any creature.
The priest will also know the day of conception, stage of pregnancy,
estimated day of birth, and gender of child.


Prevent Nausea (Abjuration) Reversible

Class: Cleric
Level: 1
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 6 turns/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: None

     This spell will prevent the woman from getting nausea for the
duration of the spell. The reverse of this spell will cause nausea to
the victim, male or female.


Summon Midwife (Conjuration/Summoning)

Class: Cleric
Level: 1
Sphere: Summoning
Range: 30 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: none
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: None

     This spell will summon the nearest midwife. The midwife will get
the summons. She is under no obligation to respond to the summons, but
very few midwifes will ignore it unless unfortunate circumstances
prevail.


Assist Labor & Birth (Necromancy)

Class: Cleric
Level: 2
Sphere: Healing
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: none
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: None

     This spell has multiple functions to assist the mother in labor
and birth:

     Epidural - Produces a numbing of the lower back and pelvis to
     reduce stress on the mother during labor.

     Push - Assists mother in pushing the child out. Will cut the time
     of labor by 1d4 hours.

     Turn Baby - Will position the child correctly during labor for
     proper birth.

The material components of this spell are boiling hot water and towels.


'Irnar's Poloroidic Pregnancy (Necromancy)

Class: Mage
Level: 6
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: permanent
Casting Time: 6
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: Neg.

     This spell will speed up the pregnancy of a woman from 9 stages to
9 hours (1 hour for each stage left until birth). The pregnant woman
must make a system shock when its time to give birth. Success indicates
that the birth is successful, failure indicates that child dies and the
woman suffers a permanent -1 reduction to constitution.
     'Irnar is still researching, but the priestesses of the Mother
Goddess are doing their damndest to hunt him down and destroy his
research, it is a violation if their creed.




     Some parental mages have created a few useful cantrips. Below is a
list of them. They have a small description and should not need
additional explanation.

Burp - causes the infant to pass gas.
Create Cheerios and Milk - creates a healthy portion of cereal w/ milk.
Gallager's Food to Mush - transfers food to edible mush for infants.
Turn Toddler - keeps a whinny kid at bay.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME


     Alcohol has a very bad effect on the developing brain of the
fetus. In some areas, the brain may never totally mature. In addition
to reduced learning capabilities, a person has little or no sense of
"right or wrong". He/she has little sense of time, so that a potential
long jail term means little to him/her, and he/she doesn't see the
benefits of saving money today to spend next year, or to study today
for a test next week. These symptoms can range anywhere from almost
unnoticeable to very pronounced, and facial disfigurement (small,
misshapen eyes and a flatter nasal area) can even occur.
     Some Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victims are somewhat socially inept.
Not in a "nerdy" manner, but they seem to be unable to have healthy
friendships. They are attracted to dangerous elements, such as the
other troublemakers (unable to separate right from wrong, etc). They
can't seem to resist peer pressure, and if pressured, will drink,
steal, etc.. Their work ethic is bad, unable to see the future as
imminent. The awful thing is, it's not their fault!
     Therefore, if a woman drinks at ANY time during pregnancy (even if
she doesn't know she's pregnant) and if she consumes even a small
amount of alcohol, there is a risk of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The more
often she drinks, the greater the risk and the greater the possible
effects. The player should roll 1d100 when the baby is born, with a
cumulative possibility of having Fetal Alcohol Syndrome of +5% for
every time the mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting)
during the pregnancy. If the result is Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, then the
GM has two options in deciding on the results:

     1: The player rolls 1d100 with a cumulative +5% for every time the
     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during
     the pregnancy. Then consult Table 1.

     2: The player rolls 1d12 with a cumulative +1 for every time the
     mother had two or more alcoholic drinks (in one sitting) during
     the pregnancy. Then consult Table 2. Note that the character has
     all of the symptoms up to and including his/her die roll. That is,
     if the player rolls a 6 then the character has results 1, 2, 3, 4,
     5, and 6.


Table 1: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

Die
Roll    Effect
01-03   Intelligence is 4d4.
04-06   Intelligence is 3d4.
07-09   Intelligence is 2d4.
10-12   Intelligence is 1d4.
13-15   Wisdom is 4d4.
16-18   Wisdom is 3d4.
19-21   Wisdom is 2d4.
22-24   Wisdom is 1d4.
25-27   Strength is 4d4.
28-30   Strength is 3d4.
31-33   Strength is 2d4.
34-36   Strength is 1d4.
37-39   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 4d4.
40-42   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma is 3d4.
43-45   Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 2d4.
46-48   Extreme facial disfigurement. Charisma is 1d4.
49-51   Weak. Constitution is 4d4.
52-54   Weak. Constitution is 3d4.
55-57   Very Weak. Constitution is 2d4.
58-60   Very Weak. Constitution is 1d4.
61-63   Learns at 1/4 speed.
64-66   Learns at 1/2 speed.
67-69   Learns at 3/4 speed.
70-72   Cannot have a lawful alignment.
73-75   Must have a chaotic alignment.
76-78   Must have a neutral alignment.
79-81   Unable to save money, destitute. Always gets rid of money.
82-84   Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.
85-87   Never able to cast spells.
88-90   2d20+8 % magic resistance. Roll ignoring any result above 87.
91-93   Two problems. Roll twice ignoring any result above 87.
94-96   Three problems. Roll thrice ignoring any result above 87.
97-99   Four problems. Roll four times ignoring any result above 87.
00-00   Five problems. Roll five times ignoring any result above 87.


Table 2: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Results

 1   Intelligence penalized -1d4.
 2   Wisdom penalized -1d4.
 3   Strength penalized -1d4.
 4   Some facial disfigurement. Charisma penalized -1d4.
 5   Weaker. Constitution penalized 1d4.
 6   Learns at 1/4 speed.
 7   Cannot have a lawful alignment.
 8   Must have a chaotic alignment.
 9   Must have a neutral alignment.
10   Unable to save money, poor. Wastes money on frivolous things.
11   Never able to cast spells.
12   2d20+8 % magic resistance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


          ON THE SUBJECT OF A SHAPECHANGING MOTHER AND CHILD


     When a female who can naturally shapechange has a child, the
relationship between mother and child is complex. Specifically, what
shapechanging -if any- does the child undergo? There are some rules to
remember:


Nursing Stage

- While the mother is in her natural form, the child is in its natural
form.

  Examples: If a dragon mother is in dragon form, the child also is in
dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in centaur form, the child is
in centaur

- Until the child is weaned, it "echoes" the form of its mother. This
occurs continuously whether or not the mother is actually in the
process of nursing the child.

  Examples: If a dragon mother is in human form, the child also is in
human form. If a centaur druid mother is in bear form, the child is in
bear form regardless of what its original form was.


Weaned Stage

- After the child is weaned, it regains its normal form.

  Examples: If a dragon mother is in any form, the child also is in
dragon form. If a centaur druid mother is in any form, the child is in
centaur, horse or human form as appropriate.

- From weaning until puberty, the child will always remain in its
natural form.


Adulthood

- If the child is not of a shapechanging race, it will never
shapechange again.

- If the child is of a shapechanging race, it will gain its
shapechanging powers with the onset of puberty.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    THE BABY IS HERE! WHAT YA' GOT?


CHARACTERISTICS


Baby's Sex

     Probably the most popular topic of a new born child is its sex.
Roll percentile dice to determine the race of the child. Generally the
probability of having a female is slightly greater than a male. Thus
there is a 52% of having a male and a 48% of having as female child.
Note that GMs may wish to adjust this number in their campaigns for the
various races. Also, the GM may let the character influence the chance
one way or the other through magic, divine intervention, etc..


Attributes

     This system will give you the attributes that the baby will have
once he reaches adulthood (which is usually a few years after puberty).
Of course, as a child the baby will show potential or problem areas if
stats are high or low; especially in areas of intelligence and wisdom.
     To figure out the attributes, the first step is to average each
attribute of the parents which will give you the "genetic" bases. To
make the baby a bit different from its parents, a random factor is
added to the process. First, add 1d4 to each genetic base and then
subtract 1d4 to that number. This means that each of the baby's stats
can be up to 3 above or 3 below its parents' average. If the result
isn't an integer, there is a 50% chance to round up and a 50% to round
down.
     Example: A baby is to be born, but what will his Strength be? His
father's Strength is 17 and his mother's Strength is 14. This averages
to 15.5 which becomes the genetic base. Before figuring in the random
factor, we know that the baby's Strength will fall between 12.5 - 18.5.
On the first 1d4, a 3 is rolled and added to the genetic factor giving
us a 18.5. On the second 1d4, a 2 is rolled and subtracted from the
18.5 giving us a Strength 16.5. Well decimals are unacceptable so on
the percentile roll, a 23% is rolled causing the Strength to be rounded
down to 16. The baby's Strength will be 16 when it reaches adulthood.
The same process is followed for the remanding attributes.
     Note that the baby's attributes must still obey its race's
minimum/maximum limits. For example, no human can be born with more
than 18 or less than 3 in any attribute.


Height

     To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step
is to average the parents height (in inches). Next, add the modifier
based on race found on the height table below. Finally, add the
adjustment found on the height table if it is a male, subtract the
adjustment if it is a female. The result is the baby's adult height in
inches.


TABLE: Height

Race           Mod.     Adj.
Dwarf          1d6       1
Elf            1d6       2.5
Gnome          1d4       1
Half-elf       1d6       1
Halfling       1d8       1
Human          1d10      1



Weight

     To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step
is to average the parents weight. Next, add the modifier based on race
found on the weight table below. Finally, add the adjustment found on
the weight table if it is a male, subtract the adjustment if it is a
female. The result is the baby's adult weight.


TABLE: Weight

Race           Mod.     Adj.
Dwarf          2d10     12.5
Elf            2d6       5
Gnome          2d4       2
Half-elf       2d8      12.5
Halfling       2d4       2
Human          2d20     20


Alternative Sexist Height & Weight

     This system emphasizes the relationship between the sex of the
child and the size of the parents. Big men with small wives will have
small daughters and strapping sons. Small men with big wives will have
large healthy daughters and puny sons. To summarize, this system will
have daughter's size favor mothers and son's size favor fathers.
     Although this system for figuring out height and weight is good,
it is given as an alternative. Unless the GM plans the size of the
parents ahead of time, a small mother would have a small daughter and a
small father would have a small son. This seems reasonable, but if
players are looking for player characters out of the baby, having the
baby small might not be a good idea.
     To figure out what the baby's adult height will be, the first step
is to calculate height in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the
height of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply
it by 1.5. Take the height of the other parent of the child and
multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The
result is the baby's adult height in inches. To summarize:

ht = [calc. ht. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3

     To figure out what the baby's adult weight will be, the first step
is to calculate weight in inches as per your RPG rule book. Take the
weight of the parent that is the same gender as the child and multiply
it by 1.5. Take the weight of the other parent of the child and
multiply it by 1.5. Add those three numbers then divide by 3. The
result is the baby's adult weight in inches. To summarize:

wt = [calc. wt. + (1.5 x same gender parent) + (.5 x other parent)] / 3


Personality

     Sooner or later, the parents will learn that the baby has a
distinct personality. The player should roll on a personality table of
his GM RPG rule book. The GM may wish the player to roll on the table
once the baby reaches childhood, reaches puberty, and finally reaches
adulthood.  Of course, once adulthood is reached, the "baby" may be
considered a PC rather than a NPC if the player desires to pursue this
avenue. Thus, the player develops the character as desired.
     It should be emphasized here that role-playing personality is only
relevant if the baby is intended as an NPC. Babies who are to become
PCs shouldn't roll this so the player may have absolute freedom in
creating the character.


"DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL" SYNDROME

     A female child should has a percentage chance (60 + her Charisma -
father's Wisdom) of charming her father. The charmed father will always
think of his daughter as pure and innocent. He will always protect her
and blame everybody else for anything that happens to her even if it is
obviously her fault.


THE FIRST BORN

     When these baby rules were being developed, GM Mizar and one of
his players started to roll up the baby's stats and due to a sequence
of unbelievably lucky rolls they created a wonder girl:

P. Strength: 18
Intelligence: 15
Dexterity: 17
Wisdom: 16
Constitution: 18
Charisma: 12
Attractiveness: 17
Luck: 14

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                            SEXUAL TENDENCY


     Some GMs may like totally random factors in a character's
generation thus this sexual tendency optional rule is presented. Roll
1d100 on Table 1 to get the sexual tendency of the character using the
appropriate social class modifier from Table 2. The reason for the
social class modifier: the upper classes have more access to
culturally-accepted sexual information and are under strict "moral"
guardianship.


TABLE 1: Sexual Tendencies

Die Roll  Tendency
01-80     heterosexual
81-90     bisexual
91-00     homosexual


TABLE 2: Modifiers Due To Social Class

Social Level             Modifiers
Lower Lower Class            0
Middle Lower Class           0
Upper Lower Class            0
Lower Middle Class          -1%
Middle Middle Class         -2%
Upper Middle Class          -3%
Lower Upper Class           -5%
Middle Upper Class          -7%
Upper Upper Class           -9%

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                             THE BITCH RULE


     The Bitch Rule is an option that makes a female PC or NPC very
moody.  GMs may make this a requirement for all females. Other
alternatives are making it an insanity, disease, or curse. The Bitch
Rule works best for chaotic characters because they seem to have what
it takes to work.

The following are the steps to develop a moody female:

     - The female character must roll 1d6 every eight waking hours for
       an attitude.

     - The female may reroll if a situation has been unusually
       stressful (i.e. after melee, during an argument, etc.).

     - Any person who comes in contact with the female (ex. other
       player characters) may request a reroll once per day. Only one
       reroll may happen each day. The reroll represents people who
       influence the female thereby changing her moods (for better or
       for worse).

      - For a roll of 6 on the table, roll 1d6 again. A 1 indicates an
        obsessive behavior. Thus, she becomes obsessive about whatever
        the party is doing at the moment to the point of not letting
        anyone or thing in her way of trying to accomplish her goal.


TABLE: Moods & Attitudes

Die
Roll      Moods & Attitudes
 1        happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly
 2        self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic
 3        pissed off, vengeful, cruel
 4        playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker
 5        vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling
 6        restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with
          things, roll 1d6 for obsession check


     Needless to say, running a character with all of these different
attributes which change all of the time tests the player's ability to
role play to a maximum.

     The Bitch Rule initiated in Salina, a chaotic neutral human.
Because of her great contribution to the game, a profile of her is
below.

Salina - 9th level mage

Physical Appearance:  Salina is 5' 6" brunette with grey eyes. She has
remarkable stats (all above 10, INT 17, DEX 18) (honest, that's the way
she rolled it...). She is a real "babe".  The longer you are in her
presence, however, the more you realize that her charisma is not quite
up to her atractiveness.

Family & Childhood: Her mother died in childbirth. Her father is a
rich/feared/respected merchant/trader/smuggler who bought his title and
measures affection in monetary terms. To increase Salina's value, she
was educated by private tutors and given anything money could buy.  She
discovered books and power as a substitute for friends and affection.

Reasons to Adventure:
     * Boredom; looking for a thrill
     * Companionship (though she would never agmit it to herself) * To
     gain greater powers and a sense of self away from Daddy * To get
     away from Daddy's immediate grasp so he doesn't marry her
       off to secure a trade agreement or something

General: She lives whim to whim. She has chronic PMS mood swings (aka
The Bitch Rule). She is self serving. All of her likes and dis-likes
are subject to change at any time, though a respect for books and
talent and an attraction to jewelry are pretty consistent. She tends to
dislike being dirty and loathes stupid people unless they have
something she needs from them. She is a sort-of female Q (from Star
Trek TNG).  The party puts up with her often dangerous moods because
she is a really good mage.

Adventure examples: Has a casual but regular relationship with 'Irnar
(a NPC mage who "pops" in every now and again to stir up trouble with
the characters). She keeps the relationship for what she can get out of
him and because he learned some pretty INCREDIBLE moves after being
abducted by a goddess of love. 'Irnar is totally into the physical
aspect of a relation and since Salina is a mage with the best
atractiveness in my campaign, she wins out. Salina has been known to
disappear (teleported by 'Irnar) during the middle of her night watch
and reappear with melting snow in her hair. Or completely soaked with
water, or in one case with grass stains and rope burns. The party has
yet to find out what she does on her little side trips. One time she
disappeared for three days then reappeared with no explanations, but
she was in such a good mood that the party counted their blessings and
did not press the questions. Besides, they desperately needed her since
they were about to do battle with an Orcish army.

One time, another mage in the party got Salina mad at him, so he cast a
Globe of Invulnerability around him for protection. Salina, recognizing
the spell promptly threw a dagger +2 at him as a "subtle way of saying
"get out of my face" and continued on her way without losing hardly a
beat.

Another time the party had to pay a toll of one magic item each to a
very old black dragon (I was sorta hoping they'd try to fight the
thing) and Salina, in her helpful, cheery mood promptly offered the
other mage to the dragon saying "If you let us pass, I'll give him to
you" (note: said with a disgustingly cheery voice). The other mage had
to do some quick talking to get out of that one. He did get some help
from the good cleric who was "appalled" that Salina could do such a
thing.

The party encountered a pool of whimsy healing water once. Salina got
mad at one of the party members for being stupid, and promptly pushed
him in.  (The party at the time did not know the effects of the water.)
Well, the fighter immediately got healed of all of his hit points, got
a whimsy (I don't recall what it was) and drowned because he was
wearing metal armour. Two members of the party finally fished him out,
but they had a dickens of a time resuscitating him. The episode ended
by everyone having a pool fight and pushing someone else in. (All went
in except Salina.)

In another adventure, the party was right in the middle of battling an
awesome mage (Le Morte by name) and Salina suddenly got bored and sat
down to do her nails. The party, without a mage to help them  out,
really got whomped on, had to give in to Le Morte's demands, and lost a
Horn of Dwarf Summoning they had spent several months (real time)
trying to get in order to call the Dwarves to battle against the
impending evil of a powerful anti-paladin (Sheol) who is still trying
to take over all of the land.

Well. There you have some of the endearing characteristics of Salina.
The party she runs around with may not like her all that much, but with
players like her, the GM's job of making things difficult for all the
players is made a little easier. ("With characters like her," quipped
the Cleric named Candice Preach, "who needs adventure?")

                  This background is brought to you by
                      Morgan the Slightly Chaotic

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


               THE RACK CRITICAL HIT CHART: FOR MEN ONLY


     Female characters are cursed with The Bitch Rule, so how can the
males be equally punished. Well, at long last, it's here. The Rack
Critical Hit Chart.
     "Rack" is a term that refers to a shot to the groin. As most guys
will tell you, a hit to the body or face is invulnerably more welcome
and less devastating than a blast to the crotch.
     The rack can either be a called shot to the groin, part of a
normal critical hit chart, or (to get more use of it) if the attacker
rolls five higher than the necessary to hit roll (modified or natural),
it is now considered to be a rack.

The rack chart is as follows:

 0-70  Man drops weapon, clutches privates, and loses next 1d4 rounds
       of initiative.
71-80  Man is blinded by tears and cannot defend or attack for the next
       1d6 rounds.
81-90  Man is stunned for one round and then goes into a berserker rage
       for 1d10 rounds. Rules for berserk rage applies.
91-95  Man's voice is permanently altered to 1d4 octaves higher,
       dropping his charisma by 1d4. Also stunned for 1d4 rounds.
96-98  Man is permanently rendered impotent. Stunned for 1d6 rounds.
 99    Man loses consciousness for 1d10 rounds. (System shock roll can
       be made at -50%, if successful, man is only unconscious for 1d4
       rounds.)
 00    Man goes into shock, no save, and dies. All men within a viewing
       distance must make a constitution save at -5 or they clutch
       themselves and remain stunned for 1 round.


NOTE: GM's may enforce the rule that any time a man sees another man
getting racked he must make a constitution check to see if he is
stunned for one round. Exception, see 00.

FINAL NOTE: Due to the amount of protection a male will go through to
protect his "family treasure", his AC for his privates is 2 better than
his overall AC. He also gets +2 to his dexterity at any attempt to
dodge. <evil grin>



                  SEDUCTION: MORE THAN REACTION ROLLS


     This is a simple yet effective way to handle a seduction. It is
far more fun than making endless reaction checks and it certainly keeps
players on their feet.

The following are the steps for seducing:

     - When the character first comes in contact with someone he/she
       wants to seduce, a normal reaction roll is made. If the reaction
       of the victim is friendly, then a seduction may take place.

     - The preliminary moves are made (i.e. role playing) and attribute
       checks are made. The seducer makes a Charisma check with
       modifiers from Table 1. The victim makes an Intelligence check
       (to see if he/she is dumb enough to fall for it) with modifiers
       from Table 1. If the seducer beats the victim's roll by 4 or
       more, he/she is doing well and may continue.

     - The GM decides how many more checks should be made with suitable
       pluses or minuses to the attribute rolls (take into account how
       well the player is role playing). Usually no more than three
       more successful checks are necessary. Failed checks mean that
       the victim of the seduction lost interest, but the seducer can
       try again with the Charisma check halved (its not easy to get
       back up on that horse after being shot down).


TABLE 1: Attribute Modifiers

Moves Made        Seducer   Victim
Drunkenly           -2        +2
Sleazy/Raunchy      -1        +1
Aggressive          +1        -1
Gentleman/Lady      +2        -2

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                     SEDUCTION FOR THE PROFESSIONAL


     Certain characters (see the sub-classes in this guide) have a
special benefit of seduction. This ability that differs from the
seduction rules above is described here. Note that these rules are not
gender specific but are given as if the Seducer is a woman.
     The Seducer has a special power of seduction. Seduction is an
ability which is used against individual males of the same or similar
race as the Seducer. The Seducer's percentage chance of seducing is
given by the following formula:
                                          Seducer's level
                                    --------------------------  X 100
                                    victim's level + modifiers

     TABLE 1: CUMULATIVE MODIFIERS; IF VICTIM IS...
     Fighter  +3         Elf/Half-elf          +1         * +1 for each
     Rogue    +3         Dwarf/Gnome/Halfling  +2           outsider
     Mage     +4         Orc/Half-orc          -1           (see below)
     Cleric   +5

     TABLE 2: CUMULATIVE VICTIM'S WISDOM MODIFIER
       1    -6           08-14  0
       2    -4            15   +1
       3    -3            16   +2
       4    -2            17   +3
     05-07  -1            18   +4


     TABLE 3: OPTIONAL SEDUCER'S STATE OF DRESS MODIFIER
     Heavily clothed               +1
     Scantily/Provocatively clad   -1
     Nude                          -2
      (The latter state will not be terribly practical under
      most circumstances, and might well lead to arrest for
      indecent exposure.)

     A seduced person will drop his weapons, become oblivious to his
surroundings, and attempt to engage the Seducer in a passionate
embrace. In such a state he is extremely vulnerable (especially to kiss
spells which are very popular amongst Seducers). However, if the
Seducer does not attempt to use a spell on a seduced victim, he is
allowed to make his save vs. spell. If this is successful, then he
realizes what has happened in which case the seduction is broken and he
cannot be immediately seduced again. Breaking the seduction, however,
does not affect the success of the spell being used.
     Seduction cannot be used in combat and cannot work against other
females except those that are homosexuals. The presence of other
individuals in close proximity (within ten feet, or obviously watching)
will reduce the chance of success of the seduction attempt.  For each
outsider present, add 1 to the modifier.
     Seduction lasts for a number of turns equal to five times the
Seducer's level, or until broken. It can be broken in a number of ways,
i.e. if the Seducer attempts to use a kiss spell as above, or if she
resists his attentions (the victim is allowed his save vs. spell each
time she does so), or if the victim is attacked. In the latter case,
the seduction is instantly broken.
     Seduction can only be used on a single individual at a time; a
Seducer may use the ability a number of times per day equal to her
level.
     EXAMPLE OF THE USE OF SEDUCTION: Lirona the Seducer (3rd level,
human) is attempting to seduce Thad Leaf the thief (5th level, human).
The scene is the Golden Griffon Inn. There are a number of other people
present but no one is paying any particular attention to the pair.
Lirona's chance of seducing Thad is equal to 3 (her level) X 100
divided by 5 (Thad's level) +3 (modified for a thief), i.e. 300 / 8 =
37.5%.  Lirona rolls 30. Success! Thad is taken in by her charms.
however, a bar is no place for a romantic liaison. Eagerly he
accompanies her upstairs to her room, his arm around her slim waist,
not suspecting the fate that awaits him when he gets there...!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           NON-WEAPON SKILLS


                         # of Slots     Relevant       Check
Skill                    Required       Ability        Modifier
Contortion                  1           Dexterity         0
Massage                     1           Intelligence      0
Seduction                   1           Charisma          0
Sexual Endurance            1           Constitution      0
Sexual Knowledge            1           Intelligence      0
Skilled Perversion          1           see below      see below


Contortion - A character with this skill is able to contort his body
and limbs into extraordinary positions.

Massage - A character with this skill is a master of massaging.  The
character has a great knowledge of stroking, kneading, and striking
certain muscular parts of the body. It is used to improve circulation,
sooth the nerves, and stimulate the digestive organs.  Massage is also
useful in increasing the tone of muscles after a long illness. Thus,
the character gains knowledge of anatomy and is able to use his hands
skillfully in stroking motions on certain muscles and nerves. A male
who gives massage is called a masseur; a female is known as a masseuse.
A skill check isn't necessary unless it is critical for the massage to
be good (ex. soothing a savage before picking his pockets).
     This skill also allows the character the ability to strike
pressure points on an opponent. A successful "to hit" and skill check
indicates that the victim suffers a -2 on his/her "to hit" rolls for
1d4 rounds (due to pain and sudden muscle cramps).

Seduction - A character with this skill is better at seducing people
than the average person. Thus, he/she gets a +2 bonus when seducing
somebody (see the seduction rules below) if the skill check is made.

Sexual Endurance - A character with this skill is able to perform
continual sexual activity longer then most before becoming subject to
fatigue and exhaustion. When a character makes constitution ability
checks during sex, he/she makes a skill check. If a successful
skill check is made, then the cumulative modifier to constitution is
cancelled.

Sexual Knowledge - A character with this skill has a knowledgeable
understanding of sex. Thus, he/she gets a bonus of +1 to constitution
ability checks during sex if a successful skill check is made.
     This knowledge is allows the character to know proper "etiquette"
when it comes to sex.  Knowledge of sexual customs, preferences,
pleasures, and dislikes, and so forth of people he/she comes in contact
with.

Skilled Perversion - This skill actually gives the character a number
of skills.  Unfortunately (to normal people), these skills allow the
character to master the art of perversion.
     The skill of voyeurism allows the character on a successful
Charisma check to ogle a person of the opposite gender and make lewd,
suggestive comments equal to the prose of bards. If the check is made
by 2, the character can successfully peep in windows to look at sexy
people without being caught.
     The skill of cleavage allows the character on a successful Wisdom
check to accurately determine the direction and distance to the nearest
female with a minimum bust size of 36 and/or minimum cup size of D.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                   SEXUALIS MORBUS (SEXUAL DISEASES)


     This system does not attempt a specific treatment of a subject
which is beyond its scope and purpose. What is done, however, is to
give general categories of disease and maladies and their game effects.


CHANCE OF CONTRACTING A DISEASE

     To contract a sexual disease, the character must be having sex
with somebody who already is inflicted with a disease. The base chance
for contracting a natural disease is 1% per round of sexual activity.
The base chance for contracting a magical disease is 2% per round of
sexual activity. Modifiers are as followed:

     Constitution of character
      1-3    +4     13-15  -2
      4-6    +2     16-18  -4

     protected intercourse    / 2  (cuts the chance in half)
     unprotected intercourse  X 2  (doubles the chance)

     Thus, Rath (con. 14) becomes intimate with a person that has a
natural sexual disease unfortunately he prefers not to use protection
(like a sheep-skin condom). He participates in 18 rounds of sex. His
chance of getting a disease is 32% (18-2 X 2). He rolls a 28 on the
percentile dice. Thus, our hero now is infected with a sexual disease.
If only he used protection, his chance of contracting a disease would
have been a mere 8%. A lesson to be learned.
     The use of Protection From Disease and Cure Disease spells are of
course very useful for preventing and curing disease.


RANDOM DETERMINATION OF WHO IS DISEASED

     The GM should decide of the person a character has sex with is
infested with a disease, but if he wants to decide randomly, this
system is provided. The chance of a prostitute having a disease is
already established if Getting To Know A Prostitute (Random Generator)
section of the guide is used. Therefore, the system is provided for
non-prostitute people. Also, this system doesn't handle whether
diseases are natural or magical because some GM's may have magically
rich campaigns ands others may not so odds may vary.
     The base chance of having a disease is depend on the size of the
settlement (the theory is that more diseases are found in bigger
settlements where more people interrelate):

     Thorp, Dorf     10
     Hamlet          25
     Village, Wych   30
     Town            35
     City            40

Modifiers to the base chance are by social level (the theory is that
more disease are transmitted amongst the lower classes because there
are dirtier and less careful):

     Lower Lower Class   +20                 NOTE: not all settlements
     Middle Lower Class  +15                 have these many variations
     Upper Lower Class   +10                 of social level. The GM
     Lower Middle Class   +5                 should be aware of what
     Middle Middle Class   0                 social levels are around.
     Upper Middle Class   -5
     Lower Upper Class   -10
     Middle Upper Class  -15
     Upper Upper Class   -20

     Thus, a lower lower class citizen of a city would have a 60%
chance of having a disease maybe because she sleeps around to get extra
food money. In a near by hamlet, an upper upper class citizen would
have a 5% chance maybe because he has a private mistress to engage in
sexual activity when he is up to it. While in the city, a citizen of
equal status has a 20% chance maybe because he parties a lot with the
rich and he screws just as much.

     At first glance at this system, a person might assume that in a
city 9,000 roughly 40% (3,600) of the population are sexually diseased.
The first item to note is that this system includes only those that
ENGAGE in sexual activity. This eliminates a large amount of the city
including children, elderly, etc.. We'll say that half the city engages
in sexual activity, which seems like a lot. Social level is another
important aspect that must be included. Thus in this example, let us
assume that all social levels exist and there population is equal:

                           Total   Sexual   Chance    Total Of
     Social Level          Pop.    Active   Of Dis.   Diseased
     Lower Lower Class     1,000    500   *   60%   =   300
     Middle Lower Class    1,000    500   *   55%   =   275
     Upper Lower Class     1,000    500   *   50%   =   250
     Lower Middle Class    1,000    500   *   45%   =   225
     Middle Middle Class   1,000    500   *   40%   =   200
     Upper Middle Class    1,000    500   *   35%   =   175
     Lower Upper Class     1,000    500   *   30%   =   150
     Middle Upper Class    1,000    500   *   25%   =   125
     Upper Upper Class     1,000    500   *   20%   =   100
                                                       -----
                                                       1800

     Thus, 1,800 people of 4,500 people who have sex of 9,000 people
that live in the city are infected with a sexual disease. This is a
lot, but we're assuming that those that participate in sexual activity
do this with more than one person. The thing to keep in mind is that
this system is to calculate individual persons, not mass population.
When the dice starts rolling, the results usually don't go with the
odds.


NATURAL

     Natural sexual diseases might not seem as bad as magical, but they
are as terrible. After choosing the desired disease on Table 1, the GM
should roll 1d8 to decide occurrence and 1d8 to decide the severity of
the disease.


Table 1: Natural Diseases

                       Occurrence             Severity
  Name               Acute Chronic    Mild  Severe  Terminal
 E.S.S.               1-4    5-8       1-3    4-5      6-8
 Gonorrhea            1-6    7-8       1-5    6-7       8
 Insania              1-4    5-8        X      X        X
 Prurire              1-7     8        1-6    7-8       X
 Segmen Neus          1-4    5-8       1-3    4-5      6-8
 Syphilis              X     1-8       1-5    6-7       8
 Tuna                  1     2-8       1-8     X        X

     Occurrence determines whether the disease is a single (acute)
attack or whether the disease will recur periodically once contracted
(chronic). Chronic maladies will affect the character periodically, if
they occur at the same time as any other malady (disease, disorder, or
parasitic infestation), the severity of both will be increased. Thus,
if two chronic maladies are contracted, the character is not likely to
survive another disease attack.
     Severity refers to the seriousness of the disease, disorder, or
parasitic infestation and determines the period of disability (recover
time or length of illness which terminates in the character's demise)
and the effects of the malady.

     MILD: During the period of affliction the character is unable to
perform strenuous activities. Roll once on Table 2 for additional
effects. Some treatment may be determined by the GM to allow a
shortening of the period of illness. A normal period is 1-3 weeks.

     SEVERE: A severe malady will lower the character's hit points to
50% of normal and make him/her totally disabled for 1-2 weeks, plus a
further 1-2 weeks of time during which the malady is in the mild state
as the character recovers. Roll twice on Table 2 for additional
effects.

     TERMINAL: The malady will cause death (or loss of the body part or
function) in 1-12 days (longer periods are stated hereafter in the
discussion of the various maladies).  Roll thrice on Table 2 for
additional effects.


Table 2: Additional Effects

Die
Roll  Effect
1     Burning during urination
2     Constant pain; -1d4 to attack rolls
3     Gradual brain rot; -1 intelligence and -1 wisdom
4     Hyperactivity; double movement rate, -2 initiative bonus
5     Loss of voice; no verbal spells, singing, etc.
6     Uncontrollable vomiting; -1 constitution per day
7     Sluggishness; half movement rate, +2 initiative penalty
8     10% chance per hour of a spasm which causes dropping of held
      items

                              Description

Enlarged Scrotum Syndrome (E.S.S.) - This disease is only contracted in
males. The effect is that the male's testicles become quite enlarged
(max. of two feet in diameter each).  The victim's movement is
quartered. Constitution is halved.  The pain is awful and its really
embarrassing to be seen.  There is a 15% chance each month that chronic
victims experience the disease again.

Gonorrhea - An infectious disease of the genitourinary tract, rectum,
and cervix, caused by the gonococcus, transmitted by sexual
intercourse, and characterized by acute purulent urethritis with
dysuria (Hey, its from Webster's Dictionary).  There is a 50% chance
each month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Insania - This disease causes the inflicted to gain a sexual insanity
disorder (GM's choice; see below).  The period of affliction lasts 4d6
months. There is a 10% chance each month that chronic victims
experience the disease again.

Prurire - "The Itch" as it is better known is quite an uncomfortable
but not lethal experience. The period of affliction is 1d4 weeks. There
is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims experience the disease
again.

Segmen Neus - This disease is named after a disgusting perverse ogre
who was always pestering female species.  The effects of the disease
are as followed:
     * -2 to comeliness each day (gradual disfigurement)
     * -1 to intelligence each day (gradual stupidity)
     * right leg goes bad making movement decrease by 90%
     * unable to participate in any sexual activity
There is a 75% chance each month that chronic victims experience the
disease again.

Syphilis - A chronic infectious venereal disease caused by a spirochete
(Webster's Dictionary is so laborious). There is a 50% chance each
month that chronic victims experience the disease again.

Tuna - This disease only manifests itself in female characters. It
causes the victim to reek of the smell of fish. Going unnoticed is
quite impossible. In fact, if cats are around they will follow the
victim. There is a 50% chance each month that chronic victims
experience the disease again.

MAGICAL

     It is unknown how these magical diseases came about. Some sages
say they're from war, some say that a rip in magical fields caused
them, others say that creatures having sex with certain magical beings
cause weird things. Whatever the reason, magical diseases aren't
pretty. Magical diseases don't have an occurrence or severity. They
last until dispelled by cure disease, wish, etc.. The GM can pick or
roll (2d8) on Table 3.
     Some may feel that the these diseases cause to much damage. A
first level character can have sex with somebody infected with acid
secretion and most likely be killed during the encounter. This is true,
but the important thing to remember is that these diseases are magical
and are not necessarily that common in society.


Table 3: Magical Diseases

Die
Roll  Disease
2     Acidic Secretion
3     Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.)
4     Fiery Secretion
5     Mummy Crotch Rot
6     Orgasmatic Flight
7     Orgasmatic Monster Summoning
8     Orgasmatic Polymorph
9     Poison Secretion
10    Sexual Audible Glamer
11    Sexual Chill Touch
12    Sexual Clairvoyance
13    Sexual Invisibility
14    Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope
15+   REROLL


                         Description

Acidic Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d8 points of damage on
any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter.

Bitchy Magical Syndrome (B.M.S.) - This magical disease only affects
females. Males should reroll on the magical disease table. Females with
this disease suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.

Fiery Secretion - The sexual partner receives 2d6 points of damage on
any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter.

Mummy Crotch Rot - This disease is fatal in 1-6 months. For each month
the rot progresses, the victim permanently loses two points of
charisma. The disease can be cured only with a cure disease spell. Cure
wounds and regenerate spells have no effect on a person inflicted with
mummy crotch rot.

Orgasmatic Monster Summoning - Within one round of an orgasm, summoned
monsters appear. There are seven stages of this disease. Each stage is
relative to the number of months the inflicted has had the disease.
Thus in the first month, the disease would be in the first stage.
     In the first stage, 2d4 1st-level monsters appear (selected by the
GM, from encounter tables). In the second stage, 1d6 2nd-level monsters
appear. In the third stage, 1d4 3rd-level monsters appear. In the forth
stage, 1d3 4th-level monsters appear. In the fifth stage, 1d2 5th-level
monsters appear. In the sixth stage, 1d3 6th-level monsters appear.  In
the seventh stage, 1d2 7th-level monsters appear. The disease becomes
terminal after the 7th stage.
     The summoned creatures attack whomever happens to be there for a
number of rounds equal to the stage number + 10.

Orgasmatic Flight - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted levitates if able
(not tied down, etc).  Then, he/she takes off in a random direction for
1d20 rounds. Upon coming into contact with a solid object (ex. wall),
he/she takes off in another random direction. The GM may assign damage
if necessary.

Orgasmatic Polymorph - Upon an orgasm, the inflicted polymorphs into
another creature, save those that are noncoporeal, from as small as
wren to as large as a hippopotamus. Furthermore the victim gains its
physical mode of locomotion and breathing as well. No system shock is
required. This affect does not give the new form's other abilities, nor
does it run the risk of changing personality and mentality. The
duration of the polymorph is 1 turn per constitution point.

Poison Secretion - The sexual partner receives damage (save vs. poison)
on any round (GM's choice) during each sexual encounter . Roll (1d20)
on the following table to decide damage:

   Die                  Fail   Succ.
   Roll   Onset In      Save   Save
  01-03   10-30 min.     15      0
  04-06   02-12 hours    20     10
  07-09   01-04 hours    20     10
  10-11   02-12 min.     20    01-03
  12-13   02-05 min.     25    02-08
  14-15   02-12 min.     30     15
  16-17   01-02 min.     30    02-12
    18    01-04 min.    Death   20
    19    Immediate     Death    0
    20    Immediate     Death   20

Sexual Audible Glamer - Any time the inflicted engages in sexual
activity, he/she has uncontrollable desires to yell, scream, etc. This
yell becomes louder as the sexual encounter continues. The volume is
based upon the round of sex. During the second round, the volume is
that of one person.  The ratio is two rounds for one person's volume.
Thus, the noise increase to the equivalent of two men during the forth
round, the noise of three men during the sixth, and so on.

Sexual Chill Touch - On the tenth round of a sexual encounter, the
inflicted causes a chill touch to his/her partner. The partner will
take 1d10 points of damage due to the absolute cold. Further, the
victim must save vs.  paralysis or be utterly unable to move. This
paralysis lasts until dispelled in some manner. (This could be real
embarrassing to a government official paralyzed in a sleazy
establishment.)

Sexual Clairvoyance - The inflicted sees in his/her mind some unknown
locale (chosen by the GM) at random times throughout a sexual
encounter.

Sexual Invisibility - The inflicted slowly turns invisible when having
sex. This transformation begins on the second round and will end when
the sexual encounter is finished. At this point, the inflicted will be
totally invisible. The duration of invisibility is equal to the amount
of rounds of the sexual encounter. (This could be beneficial when a
quick an discreet exit is required.)

Sexually Transmitted Lycanthrope - A person with this disease either
becomes inflicted with lycanthrope or becomes a carrier of the dreaded
disease. The chances to get the disease are as followed:

     50% - constitution - 5        becoming inflicted
     50% + constitution - 5        becoming a carrier
     10%                           neither

 The type of lycanthrope can be rolled (1d6) on the following table:

     1    Werebear         4  Wearboar
     2    Werefox          5  Wererat
     3    Werewolf         6  Weretiger

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           SEXUAL INSANITY ?


     A character can be struck by insanity due to a curse, psionic
attack, disease, etc.. The GM must make sure the role of the insane
character is role-played correctly. Naturally, these insanities are not
clinically correct. They are designed to conform to game terms and
situations. Their inclusion is to fill an area of the game where a
condition exists and no adequate explanation is otherwise given. The GM
can pick the desired insanity or roll (1d30) on Table 1.


Table 1: Insanities

Die
Roll Insanity
 1   Bitchamania
 2   Coprophilia
 3   Exhibitionism
 4   Fetishism
 5   Foulmouthia
 6   Geroniophilla
 7   Innecrophilia
 8   Masochism
 9   Mirusmania
10   Necrophilia
11   Nymphomania
12   Pedophilia
13   Periculuphilia
14   Pigmalionism
15   Sadism
16   Sexaphobia
17   Unus-????mania
18   Uridpsomania
19   Voyeurism
20   Zoophilia
21+  REROLL


                              Description

Bitchamania - This insanity can only manifest itself within females.
Males should reroll for another insanity. Females with this insanity
suffer the effects of The Bitch Rule.

Coprophilia - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have an
uncontrollable desire to eat the lees (the sediment of a liquid) of the
sexual partner. If the partner is diseased (hopefully a sexual one),
then the insane person's chance of contacting the disease is doubled
and should be checked after each feast.

Exhibitionism - This insanity causes the victim to have a fascination
of being observed while nude or having sex. The more who witness the
person the better. The person must exhibit himself/herself a minimum of
1d10+4 times a week. A few examples are to have sex in a public places,
flash people, streak, etc..

Fetishism - The victim has a fascination and desire to have sex only if
a specific object is in his/her possession or if possible the object is
used in the act (like rods, rings, balls).

Foulmouthia - The victim has an uncontrollable desire to say something
perverse when he/she sees somebody of the opposite sex. When the victim
sees such a person, he/she must make a Wisdom check with a -3 modifier.
Failure and the victim says something profane. If the player can't
think of anything, he/she can roll on the Sexist Quotes table found
later in this guide.

Geroniophilla - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire
sex with older people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The older
person must be at least be twice the character's age and is 50% of the
time a three times the character's age (if possible).

Innecrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive
fascination with the undead. This obsession extends to the point of
engaging in sexual intercourse with undead creatures when the
opportunity arises. When coming across undead the afflicted character
is 75% likely not to cause harm to the undead. Furthermore, he/she is
50% likely to rape unintelligent undead or seduce (to the point of
begging) intelligent undead. The GM and players can see the dangers of
a character desiring the likes of a vampire.

Masochism - This insanity causes the character to like to be hurt by
the partner (normally a sadistic one), using the same ways as the
sadism. In other words, he/she likes to be on the receiving end of
physical pain during sexual encounters.

Mirusmania - This insanity causes the victim to desire to have weird
sex (although some characters may already do weird things). Some
examples are during fly, jump spells; while polymorphed or ethereal; in
strange places like a dungeon, temple, tree; under the influence of
transmute flesh to spells. The GM and player should flesh out this
insanity for good role-playing purposes.

Necrophilia - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive
fascination with death and corpses. This obsession extends to the point
of engaging in sexual intercourse with a corpse. The afflicted
character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a corpse of the
opposite sex when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character
adventuring in catacombs may sneak away from the party for a quick
interlude with the dead. This insanity could reach a point where the
character keeps a supply of dead handy to serve his/her purposes.

Nymphomania - Sex! Sex! Sex! This insanity manifests itself in an
ardent desire, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex (lots of
sex). The afflicted will furtively attempt to seduce a person of the
opposite sex, whenever the opportunity presents itself, and he/she will
usually seek out such opportunities. The afflicted must have sex a
minimum of 1d10+10 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly
requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to
constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an
accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself.  Other problems
could be continuous dissatisfaction, inability to prioritize, egotistic
view that everyone wants it, patronizing view that all need to be
defiled by sex because they are naturally evil, or that he/she is doing
people a "favor". He/she will not go to the extent of rape or
molesting, but hiring prostitutes is not above the insanity.

Pedophilia - This insanity causes the character to strongly desire sex
with younger people (a minimum of 1d4 times per week). The younger
person must be at least be half the character's age and is 50% of the
time a fourth of the character's age.  Of course this insanity can
cause a lot of trouble with governmental laws on statutory rape.

Periculuphilia - This strange insanity causes the inflicted to have a
desire for sex only in dangerous situations and places. When in such a
situation, the character is 50% likely to go into a sexual frenzy in
which he/she must have sex immediately, preferably with a close sexual
partner. Thus, a character will usually have such a partner along with
him/her when adventuring. Note the afflicted must have this dangerous
sex a minimum of 1d4+1 times per week. Not getting the minimum weekly
requirement causes the person to gain an accumulative +1 to
constitution, but lose an accumulative -1 to intelligence and an
accumulative -1 to wisdom until relief presents itself. Some examples
of dangerous situations and places would be when he/she is surrounded
by a few dragons, in front of a angry lich, or maybe in any battle
he/she is involved in.

Pigmalionism - This insanity causes the character to have an obsessive
fascination with statues because they are cold, have hard muscles, nice
form, unemotional, etc.. This obsession extends to the point of
engaging in sexual intercourse with a statue (if physically possible).
The afflicted character is 50% likely to attempt a sexual act with a
statue when such an opportunity arises. Thus, a character adventuring
in temple may sneak away from the party for a quick interlude with the
a lovely statue. This insanity could reach a point where the character
collects statues to serve his/her purposes. The ideal partner would be
a golem or enchanted statue.

Sadism - The victim of this insanity has a desire to physically hurt
the person which he/she is having sex with. This attack can be done by
various strange ways like whipping, kicking, chaining the partner,
etc.. This insanity could reach a point where the character, under a
orgasm, kills the engaged person.

Sexaphobia - This insanity gives the victim a fear of having sex and
will avoid having sex at all costs. Reasons for this fear may be divine
retribution, superiority complex (nobody is good enough), etc.

Sexual Phobia - If played properly, a sexual phobia can give a
character a good amount of extra depth, however, played incorrectly can
be disastrous.
     A phobia is a fear of something. The phobias presented here fears
that are related to sex in some way.
     There are two tables for this section, Male and Female. If the
character is homosexual or bisexual, then go to the appropriate sex 90%
of the time and the opposite sex of the character the remaining 10% of
the time. If a character rolls an impossibility (a male rolls a
strictly female phobia), then reroll on the table appropriate to the
character's sex.

TABLE: Female Sexual Phobias

Die     Female
Roll    Sexual Phobias          Fear of
01-03   Agaraphobia             Sexual Abuse
04-06   Algophobia              Sexual Pain
07-12   Androphobia             Men
13-14   Anuptophobia            Being single
15-17   Aphenphobia             Physical Contact
18-22   Coitophobia             Sex
23-24   Coitus More Ferarum     Doggy-style sex
25-29   Coitus Oralis           Oral sex
30-35   Cypridophobia           Venerial Diseases
36-38   Dyspareunia             Painful vaginal sex
39-41   Esodophobia             Virginity
42-44   Gamophobia              Marriage
45-47   Gymnophobia             Naked bodies
48-50   Hedonophobia            Pleasure
51      Heterophobia            Heterosexuals
52-57   Homphobia               Homosexuals
58-60   Ithyphallophobia        Erect penises
61-63   Maieusiophobia          Childbirth
64-65   Malaxophobia            Flirting
66-67   Medectophobia           Contour of a penis which is visible
                                   through clothing
68-69   Menophobia              Menstration
70-74   Merinthophobia          Being bound
75-77   Necrophobia             Sex with the dead
78-79   Oneirogmophobia         Wet dreams
80-82   Paraphobia              Sexual Perversions
83-84   Phallophobia            Male genitalia
85-87   Primeisodophobia        Losing one's virginity
88-90   Proctophobia            Rectal intercourse
91      Sarmassophobia          Foreplay
92-93   Sexophobia              Opposite Sex
94      Spermophobia            Semen
95-96   Teratophobia            Bearing a monster
97-100  Virgivitiphobia         Rape

TABLE: Male Sexual Phobias

Die     Male
Roll    Sexual Phobias          Fear of
01-03   Agrophobia              Sexual Abuse
04-06   Algophobia              Sexual Pain
07-09   Anuptophobia            Being single
10-11   Aphenophobia            Physical Contact
12-14   Coitophobia             Sex
15-17   Coitus Oralis           Oral sex
18-20   Cyprianophobia          Prostitutes
21-23   Cypridophobia           Venerial Disease
24-25   Ejacuphobia             Ejaculation
26-28   Esodophobia             Virginity
29-31   Eurotophobia            Female Genetalia
32-37   Gamophobia              Marriage
38-39   Gymnophobia             Naked Bodies
40-44   Gynophobia              Women
45-48   Hedonophobia            Pleasure
49-53   Malaxophobia            Flirting
54-59   Medomalacophobia        Losing an erection
60-62   Merinthophobia          Being bound
63-67   Necrophobia             Sex with the dead
68-71   Oneirogmophobia         Wet dreams
72-76   Paraphobia              Sexual perversions
77-80   Parenthenophobia        Young girls, usually virgins
81-85   Penis Captivas          Having one's penis held tightly be
                                   vaginal muscles
86-89   Primeisodophobia        Losing one's virginity
90-92   Proctophobia            Rectal intercourse
93-95   Sarmassophobia          Foreplay
96-97   Sexophobia              Opposite sex
98-100  Venustaphobia           Beautiful women

Unus-????mania - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and
obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a
particular type of creature. The afflicted will furtively attempt to
seduce this type of creature (still of the opposite sex), whenever the
opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such
opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even
his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. When he/she
has sex with such a creature, he/she likes the creature to do weird
things relative to the creature's abilities and talents (see example
below). Of course some creatures maybe harder to get a hold of then
others. The table below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any
creatures he wants. Roll (1d20) on the following table to get the type
of creature that is desired:

      Mania
Roll  Name (????)    Type of Creature
 1    Daemon         Demons *
 2    Dimidiuselfe   Half-elves
 3    Divus          Dieties, Demigods, etc
 4    Draco          Dragons *
 5    Druidae        Druids
 6    Elfe           Elves *
 7    Giant          Giants *
 8    Gnome          Gnomes
 9    Gobla          Goblins
10    Gole           Golems *
11    Halfline       Halflings
12    Homo           Humans *
13    Lycanthrope    Lycanthropes *
14    Magus          Mages
15    Nanus          Dwarfs *
16    Nequam         Rogues
17    Ogra           Ogres
18    Pugna          Fighters
19    Sacerdos       Clerics
20    Vates          Bards

                                   * can be specific type

Example: A person with unus-sacerdosmania insanity will have a desire
to have sex with clerics. When having sex with cleric, he/she might
want the cleric to pray. A person with unus-pugnamania will only have
sex with fighters and might want the fighter to punch, scratch, and
wrestle during sex. A person with unus-vatesmania will only have sex
with bards and might want the bard to sing during sex.

Uridpsomania - This bizarre insanity causes the character to have the
desire to drink the urine of his/her partner. Check for an unhealthy
disease each time he/she drinks.

Voyeurism - The person affected by this insanity only has pleasure from
observing the other's sexual organs or people having sex, especially in
secret.

Zoophilia - This insanity manifests itself in an ardent desire and
obsession, in this case an uncontrollable urge to have sex with a
particular type of normal animal. The afflicted will furtively attempt
to seduce this type of animal (still of the opposite sex), whenever the
opportunity presents itself, and he/she will usually seek out such
opportunities. He/she will not desire to have sex with any other, even
his/her own species; and will actually reek at the thought. The table
below is small and simplistic, GMs may add any animals he wants. Roll
(1d20) on the following table to get the type of creature that is
desired:

Roll           Animal              Roll         Animal
  1            dog                  11          mule
  2            horse                12          wolverine
  3            pig                  13          rhinoceros
  4            cat                  14          hippopotamus
  5            monkey               15          boar
  6            bear                 16          bull
  7            elephant             17          buffalo
  8            skunk                18          goat
  9            camel                19          sheep
 10            lion                 20          roll twice -ignore this

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                   ON SEX AND SEXUALITY IN THE REALMS


     "In general, there is a continent in the Realms is marked by
sexual equality; females and males are equally educated, respected,
valued, and eligible for all roles in society. This applies just as
well to southern lands, in which men often have several wives while
women have only one husband, although the Northerners and Southerners
often misunderstand each others' social structures. This is typical of
a widespread phenomenon throughout the Realms: in matters of courtship,
marriage, sex, and reproduction, as in most matters, there is enough
adventuring and trade that people are familiar with many foreign
customs; nevertheless, most people consider their own customs to be
civilized and proper, while all other customs are unjust and barbarian.
     There is a strong emphasis placed on the importance of marriage
throughout the Realms, although courtship, marriage ceremonies, and
family structures vary considerably. Marriage may be conducted by
clerics of almost every church, and the marriages of all faiths are
considered equally valid and binding. While sex is generally considered
more blessed after marriage, there is very little social stigma in the
lands of Faerun placed on premarital sex between consenting
hetero-sexual adults. The prevailing attitude seems to be that a young
woman and young man will choose (or be chosen for) one another, and
that the same mutual feelings that would inspire them to have sex will
lead them to want to be married.
     Of course, this ideal is often not satisfied. Trysts, whether
tragic or comically gone awry, are a favorite subject of bards. Rape is
all too common, and is strongly condemned by agents of Good, Chaos, and
Law, as violations of personal rights, individual autonomy, and stable
social order, respectively.
     Two variations in particular of this ideal face strong societal
disapproval: interracial and homosexual relations. Interracial
marriages are tacitly considered inferior. The elf who marries a human
is considered to have married beneath her station; her spouse will die
while she is still young, and her half-elven children will face great
discrimination and will never fully be able to participate in their
elven heritage. Similarly, half-orcs are considered somehow even more
tainted than orcs, possibly because of the unspoken assumption that
they are not only half-breed, but the half-breed offspring of rape.
     On a related note, although it is common knowledge that many
people and beasts of the Realms owe their existence to crossbreeding of
different species, we do not presently have an adequate explanation for
why some species can crossbreed with others and some can not, nor why
some crossbreeds, like mules, are sterile, and others, like half-elves,
are not.
     Homosexual couples are almost unheard of in the Realms, and then
they are a matter of scorn. Elm's scribe, is widely rumored to be
Elm's lover, and the arrangement is only tolerated because of Elm's
unapproachable high status and legendary eccentricity. Otherwise, homo-
sexuality is only discussed in malicious gossip and histories of family
scandals.
     Homosexuals are, however, rumored to be found in disproportionatly
high numbers among certain groups, such as adventurers, who have often
been driven to adventure because they couldn't quite fit into normal
society, and the priesthoods of faiths which require celibacy, since
the priests never need to explain their lack of interest in
conventional marriage. Of course, most people believe homosexuality to
be more common in groups they with which they have formed rivalries or
are actively hostile. Organized groups are said to have formed in large
cities, but their memberships and activities are highly guarded
secrets. Little scholarly data are known about the actual frequency of
homosexuals in the Realms, or about their relative distribution among
men, among women, and among the various races, nations, and
occupations.
     Sexual matters are not in the explicit portfolio of any major god
in the Realms, although strong cases might be made for the bewitching
goddess of beauty, and the sado-masochistically appealing goddess of
pain. A small cult has begun to grow praising the name of the Lord of
Sex and Carnality, whom I take to be either a new lesser power or else
a more explicitly sexual aspect of a more established god.
     The use of magic in sex has been extremely limited, due in part to
people's understandable reluctance to let mages or clerics experiment
on their sexual organs or psyches. The spells listed above should be
considered extremely rare. After all, only homosexuals and virulent
homo-phoebes would be likely to have spent their lives researching
spells concerning alternative sexualities, and even if such people are
not as uncommon as we think, they are certainly difficult to discover.
Most of the other known spells either use people's sexual desire as a
weapon against them, or show a marked obsession with artificially
enhancing the spellcaster's own sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, rare
are sexual spells designed to help others overcome sexual dysfunctions
or to enhance others' sexual pleasure, and it is this sage's humble
opinion that the most fruitful sexual research lies in this direction."

               - Respectfully compiled by Spelling of Amn,
                 Scholar, Sage, and Priest of Deneir,
                 for the Preservation of Knowledge
                 and Augmentation of Wisdom in the Realms

               - Reproduced for his Compatriot, Rick Dechance



                            SPELLS WITH ZIP


     All spells are listed for magic-users, but most can be easily
adjusted for clerical use and should be changed if need be.
     Spell levels are only provide as a measure for the spells in this
guide. The spell levels don't represent spell levels of any given RPG
system. Compare the power of the spells presented in this guide with
the level of spells in your game system and adjust the level
accordingly.
     Also, some may feel that certain spells are to powerful for the
level given. Before making such judgements, a person should examine
other spells of the same level and the level above.

Level 0 - Cantrip
Arousal                            Delay Orgasm
Know Sexual Preference             Mordenkainen's Lubrication
Mount                              Pillow Talk
Slap                               Sterility
Sexual Attraction                  Tweak/Goose
Unbutton/Unlace                    Wet Dream

Level 1
Annihilator's Penis of Power!      Blown Kiss
Change Sexual Preference           Charm Man I
Davenet's Seduction                Divine Sexual Orientation
Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss       Ecstasy
Fascination                        Flash
Freudian Thoughts                  Fyltar's Pheromonal Force
Impotence                          Kiss of Charm
Kiss Of Sleeping                   Kiss Of Wounding
Masturbation                       Power Word, Rut
PMS                                Reverse Sexual Orientation
Revulsion                          Seduce Undead
Seduction I Skank

Level 2
Chastity                           Constant Orgasm
Contraception                      Dance of Charm
Homophobia                         Jealously
Layla's Good Morning Kiss          Kiss Of Weakness
Neville's Wandering Hand           Pornographic Glamer
Protection From Intoxication       Sexify/Enhance Comeliness
Sleep Theft                        Transfer Charm
Vampiric Kiss                      Voyeur

Level 3
Kiss Of Slavery                    Kiss of Intoxication
Leomund's Tiny Brothel             Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes
Sex Slave                          Stanza's Diseased Kiss
Obsession                          Prowess

Level 4
Angel's Negation                   Become Phantasmal Lover
Bybig's Bitch Slap                 Layla's Morning After Kiss
Layla's Seductive Impersonation    Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity
Lovesickness                       Power Word, Strip
Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease   Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease

Level 5
Embarrassing Fetish                Layla's Beautification
Reverse Gender Orientation         Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss...

Level 6
Conjure Succubus/Incubus           Prismatic Dildo
Sex Change

Level 7
Impregnate                         Layla's Seductive Shapechange

Level 8
Kiss Of The Nereid                 Power Word, Castrate

Level 9
Heartbreaker                       Kiss Of Death
Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair  Summon Cissaldan



Arousal (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: creature touched
Save: Neg.

     This spell creates a state of extreme horniness in the affected
creature, including both biological and physiological effects, although
said horniness is not directed towards anyone or anything in
particular. The reverse of this spell, Disinterest, completely snuffs
out any lust the recipient might be feeling. The material component for
this spell is a sprig of mistletoe.


Contraception (Abjuration)

Level: Cantrip
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: None

     An alternative to the Sterility Cantrip for GMs that don't like
100% protection. This cantrip significantly decreases the probability
of fertilization following coitus. This cantrip is cast after sexual
activity. In some cases this may not be Lawful, and in some may not be
considered Good.  The cantrip is also not entirely perfect, offering
only 95% certainty, according to the following table:

     Roll %    Result
     01-95     no fertilization
        96     no fertilization anyway
        97     one zygote
        98     two zygotes (possibly identical)
        99     1d6 zygotes
        00     both partners pregnant (magic gone awry)

     The material component for this spell is a red cape or a red
riding hood.


Delay Orgasm (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: Neg.

     This cantrip delays any orgasm by 1 round per level of the caster.
Thus, if the TTC indicates an orgasm, it doesn't go into effect until
+1 round/level.


Know Sexual Preference (Divination) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature per 2 rounds
Save: Neg.

     This cantrip enables the wizard to read the aura of a creature.
The caster must remain stationary and concentrate on the subject for
two full rounds. A creature is allowed a save vs. spell and, if
successful, the caster learns nothing about the particular creature
from the casting. Certain magical devices negate this cantrip.
     The reverse, undetectable sexual alignment, conceals the sexual
preference of a creature for 24 hours - even from a know sexual
preference cantrip.


Mordenkainen's Lubrication (Conjuration)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 1 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 10 minutes/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 10" X 3" (rumor has it that Mordenkainen
                needed this large amount of coverage)
Save: None

     This cantrip covers an organic surface with a slippery layer of a
greasy nature.


Mount (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 hours/level
Casting Time: 1 turn
Area of Effect: 1 mount
Save: None

     By means of this cantrip, the caster conjures a very attractive
person of the opposite sex to serve him/her. The person serves
willingly and well, but at the expiration of the cantrip duration it
disappears, returning to its own place. The mount does not come with
any gear or clothes. The mount can't do anything but perform basic
sexual acts.
     This cantrip was created by conjurer apprentices to practice their
art. It is only a cantrip because the conjured being, only serves one
purpose (a fun purpose, but not a practical purpose).


Pillow Talk (Alteration)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 pillow
Save: None

     When this cantrip is cast, the wizard imbues the chosen pillow
with an enchanted mouth. The mouthed pillow will only speak about
sexual topics. The wizard has the option at cast time to decide the
level of vargarity. The level varies from perverse smut to intellectual
discussions on sexual techniques.


Slap (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: Neg.

Explanation: The victim of this spell feels a forceful slap across the
cheek. Creatures must save vs. spell or be distracted for one segment,
dazed by the blow (lose concentration of spells, etc.).


Sterility (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 30 minutes/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: None

     This cantrip is the mages' form of birth control. It is 100%
accurate and can be performed on anybody who consents to it prior to
sexual activity. Clerics have high level spells to accomplish this, but
only mages have such a simplistic form of birth control.


Sexual Attraction (All Schools) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 30 minutes/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: None

     This cantrip causes the recipient to gain a +1 modifier for every
three levels of the mage to charisma with respect to having sex. Thus,
this spell won't effect any other aspects of charisma; only sex.
     Most mages cast the cantrip on his/her partner, so the partner is
more desirable thus making it easier for the mage to perform.
     The reverse of this cantrip is Sexual Disgust. The modifier is -1
for every three levels of the mage rather than +1.


Tweak/Goose (All Schools)

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: Special

     This cantrip causes the victim to feel the sensation of being
"tweaked" or "goosed" as if by an unseen forefinger and thumb. The
portion of the body being tweaked must be seen by the caster and be
uncovered by armor. Victim's who are spellcasters must either save vs.
spell or make an Intelligence check to avoid losing concentration.
Other intelligent, small, and medium sized creatures must make same
save/check or be distracted for one segment. The caster must make a
tweaking motion with his hand in order to affect the spell.


Unbutton/Untie (Alteration) Reversible

Level: Cantrip
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Instant
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One object
Save: None

     By means of this cantrip, the caster can magically cause the
object of the magic - thread, string, cord, rope, button - to untie
or unbutton itself. The reverse ties or buttons the object.
     A stronger spell in the works is Power Word: Disrobe.


Wet Dream (Invocation/Illusion)

Level: Cantrip
Range: Special
Components: V, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This cantrip consists of a whispered word to another individual,
who will not hear or understand the word, and who will experience a
dream erotic enough to produce orgasm the next time that person falls
asleep. The material component is a feather tinged with blood.


Annihilator's Penis of Power! (Evocation)

Level: 1
Range: 18" or less (usually much less for many spell-casters)
Components: V, S
Duration: till the mage is done
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: obvious
Save: Special

     With this spell the caster (male) empowers his penis with a steel-
hard covering able to withstand any Bobbit attack or penis-puncturing
device. Also, it is powerful enough to rupture most chastity belts,
magic ones get a save at -4. It is also a benefit for those who suffer
impotence, and has been rumored to assist in preventing sexually-
transmitted diseases and pre-mature ejaculation! A spell to truly share
with friends!
     Don't ask what the somatic gestures are.


Blown Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 12 feet
Components: S
Duration: --
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: --
Save: --

     This spell enhances a kissing spell by allowing its range to
become long range instead of by touch. This spell must be cast 1 round
prior to the kissing spell. Any kissing spell may be used in
conjunction with this spell. Note that this allows the caster to blow a
kiss to those that may not desire one. Thus, the problems with physical
contact during combat and such have been eliminated.


Change Sexual Preference (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 120 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: Neg.

     This spell affects any single person it is cast upon.  The term
person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or humanoid of man-size
or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls, halflings, kobolds, and
others.
     The person receives a save vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any
adjustment due to Wisdom. If the person receives damage from the
caster's group in the same round the spell is cast, an additional bonus
of +1 per hit point of damage received is added to the victim's save.
     If the spell recipient fails his save, his sexual preference is
changed to the opposite. Thus a man who liked women would now prefer
other men.
     The duration of the spell is a function of the charmed person's
Intelligence and is tied to the save. The spell may be broken if a
successful save is rolled, and this save is checked on a periodic
basis, according to the creature's Intelligence (see following table).

     Intelligence Score        Time Between Checks
         3 or less                  3 months
         4 to 6                     2 months
         7 to 9                     1 month
        10 to 12                    3 weeks
        13 to 14                    2 weeks
        15 to 16                    1 week
           17                       3 days
           18                       2 days
        19 or more                  1 day

     The GM must make sure that the spell recipient adheres to the
effects of the spell, but it isn't necessary to go into detail.


Charm Man I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 16 feet radius
Components: V, S
Duration: 1d4+1 turns
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: 1d4+4 men of 3 HD/level or lower
Save: see below

     This spell is used by witches and houris, but other clever mages
should be able to adjust the spell for their needs. A witch must have a
Charisma score of at least 11 to cast this spell.
     It affects victims the same as a charm person spell. If there is a
leader  with a group of men, he may dispel the charm if his charisma
plus a roll of 1d8 is six points or more higher than the witch's
charisma. If the spell is not dispelled by a leader, each man within
the area of effect must attempt a save vs. spells. A successful save
negates the effect of the spell for that man only. If there are more
men within range than a maximum number who can be affected, the spell
is directed against the lower-level men first. The spell won't work on
any man who has taken damage from any other action of the same witch
during the current encounter.
     There are four level variations of this spell (Charm Man II at
third level, Charm Man III at fifth level). They are listed here
instead of throughout the guide for convenience. The spells and the
difference in duration and area of effect are as followed:
     Charm Man II   - 1d6+4 turns   1d6+6 men of 4 HD/level or lower
     Charm Man III  - 1d8+4 turns   1d8+8 men of 5 HD/level or lower
     Charm Man IV   - 1d10+4 turns  1d10+10 men of 6 HD/level or lower
     Charm Man V    - 1d12+4 turns  1d12+12 men of 8 HD/level or lower


Davenet's Seduction (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: Special
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent or until dispelled
Casting time: 1 hour
Area of Effect: One person
Save: see below

     The spellcaster may affect one individual of the opposite sexual
orientation to become enamored with the spellcaster and willingly
subject to all of his/her commands. That the victim has been seduced
(magically or otherwise) will be readily apparent to those who make a
successful wisdom check. In order to cast the spell, the spellcaster
must extract a personal item of the victim's, and then cast the spell
onto the item in solitude. When the item is given back to the victim
and recognized, the spell is complete.
     The victim is allowed a special save on a d20 based on
intelligence. The roll is modified by adding the victim's wisdom and
subtracting the spellcaster's apparent charisma (OPTIONAL: comeliness).
The spell is effective until dispelled.
     While under the enchantment, the victim will take as gospel
everything the spellcaster says, and will strive to protect and defend
the spellcaster at all times. If the spell is broken by another magic
or by the will of the enchanter, however, the victim will remember
everything and know that magic was involved.


Divine Sexual Orientation (Divination) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None

     This spell reveals the hetero- or homo-sexuality of a given
creature of a species with two genders. The material component is a
clear, colorless gem, which changes colors as follows:

     red             totally heterosexual
     orange          strongly heterosexual
     yellow          bisexual leaning towards hetero-
     green           50/50 bisexual
     blue            bisexual leaning towards homo-
     violet          strongly homosexual
     ultraviolet     totally homosexual

          * Sage's note: This is simply the Kinsey scale of sexuality.

     In normal daylight, of course, ultraviolet will not show clearly,
and will appear to anyone without infravision as lavender. The creature
being scried must be alive and visible to the caster. The method of
sight -infravision, scrying, clairvoyance, etc. - does not matter.
Portraits, illusions, or statues, however, will not suffice. The gem
will remain white, indicating spell failure, if the creature is
asexual, its attractions are completely unrelated to gender, or is
magically protected, as by the reverse spell, Hide Sexual Orientation,
which conceals sexual orientation from magical or psionic detection for
24 hours.
     Sage's note: although psionics are still a young and arcane
discipline in the Realms, it has been demonstrated that the psionic
science of Aura Sight can reveal sexual orientation, especially when
the subject has expended a great deal of psychic energy on sex or
sexuality.


Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in
combat). The mage is in control and can decided how long to kiss. After
the kiss, both the mage and the victim are stunned for 1 segment per
round of kissing.


Ecstasy (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 5 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 person
Save: Neg.

     The gestures of the wizard, along with his erotic incantations
causes the person to go into an enjoyable, screaming, orgasmatic,
erotic fit. The term person includes any bipedal human, demihuman, or
humanoid of giant-size or smaller, such as dwarves, elves, gnolls,
halflings, kobolds, and others.
     The person receives a save vs. spell to avoid the effect, with any
adjustment to Wisdom. If the person fails the save, he/she loses all
dexterity bonuses to armor class. Also, he/she cannot move from his/her
current location. He/she cannot cast spells, attack, use items, etc.
Basically, the character is caught up in a real pleasurable experience
and can't function properly.


Fascination (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 12 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 20 turns
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     The affecting person will be unable to do anything at all except
follow the mage wherever she/he goes, unable to take his/her eyes off
her/him. If attacked, the affected will try to beat off any opponents,
including his own comrades, in a berserk fury (+1 to hit, -1 to AC) in
order to continue moving towards the mage.


Flash (Enchantment)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature per level of the caster
Save: 1/2 duration

     In casting this spell, the mage must expose a body part (knee,
thigh, shoulder, or something more sensitive, as the caster desires)
and call out something appropriate. It will only affect members of the
opposite sex or homosexuals. It will cause all creatures affected to be
stunned by the incredible attractiveness of the body part they have
just seen exposed.


Freudian Thoughts (Invocation/Illusion)

Level: 1
Range: Within hearing range of the subject
Components: V, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     Sage's Note: This is a great role-playing vehicle for some
players if there characters get this spell cast on them. It could be
real fun having a pervert for a character.
     A person subject to this spell begins consciously and
subconsciously to interpret everything in sexual terms. For example,
the subject would perceive a sword attack not only as melee but also as
an attempted rape by a male, and would experience eating a taco
as... well, you get the idea.
     The material component is the caster's holy symbol, and the verbal
component is a lewd innuendo.


Fyltar's Pheromonal Force (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 10 yards
Save: Neg.

     This spell functions as the Arousal cantrip (see above) with two
minor adjustments. First, creatures which cannot smell are
automatically unaffected. Secondly, it raises the morale of all
affected creatures by 1d4. The material component is a rose petal,
crushed during casting.


Impotence (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 5 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 10 rounds/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Neg.

        This spell enables the spell caster to render one creature,
himself or otherwise, impotent (incapable of sexual intercourse). The
material component is a bucket of cold water. The incantation consists
of a specific personality (such as "Baba Yaga") who might be
unappealing to the creature.  The save is actually a check on the
disgust the personality generates in the creature. If the creature
finds the person repulsive, he fails the save.
        OPTIONAL EFFECT: During the period of impotence, the creature
will attack at -2 and make morale and saves at -2. Wisdom,
Constitution, and Charisma scores will be lowered by 1-3 points each
for the duration of the spell. Also, during this time the creature will
feel downright miserable.


Kiss of Charm (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     This subtle spell works like a charm person spell, except that the
target must be male and that the caster must be female and kiss her
target. The target saves at -2. Otherwise this spell acts just like a
charm person spell.


Kiss Of Sleeping (Enchantment/Charm) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 10/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in
combat). After the kiss, the victim goes into a deep comatose slumber.
     Slapping or wounding awakens the affected creature but normal
noise does not. Awakening requires one entire round.
     The reverse of this spell is Kiss Of Awakening which will awaken a
person who is magically asleep.


Kiss Of Wounding (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: 1/2

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in
combat). This kiss causes the victim to suffer 1d3 hit points of
damage, plus 3 points for each level of experience of the spellcaster,
to a maximum of 1d3+20 points. Those successfully saving vs. spell
receive half damage.


Masturbation (Enchantment)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Neg.

     This spell causes the horniness of Arousal with the added
irresistible urge to masturbate with any and all external sexual
organs. This spell functions like a combination of an Arousal cantrip
with a command to "masturbate!" If no appendages are free for this
purpose, the subject will rub the sexual organs against any nearby
functional object. The material component is two pieces of cloth,
rubbed quickly against one another.


Power Word, Rut (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 1
Range: 5 yards/two level
Components: V
Duration: 1 hour/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One male mammal
Save: None

     When this spell is cast, the recipient gains a condition of sexual
excitement and productive activity. This reflects in the recipient as a
gain a +2 modifier for every three levels of the mage to dexterity with
respect to having sex.  Thus, this spell won't effect any other aspects
of dexterity; only sex. Also due to his hyper state, the recipient
gains a +1 to hit. Furthermore, two points of intelligence and one
point of wisdom is lost; and one point of charisma is gained.  These
bonuses end when the spell ends.


PMS (Conjuration) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: one creature
Save: 1/2

     PMS causes the subject to experience an unceasing, agonizing, dull
throbbing pain throughout the groin and lower abdomen, as though all
the muscles in that area were clenched like a vise. THAC0 and all
saves are treated as if the subject were one level lower (a 0th-level
or 1st-level character automatically misses or fails), and Constitution
and Charisma are reduced by 1 for the duration of the spell. A
successful save results in a nagging headache reducing Constitution and
Charisma by 1 for the duration of the spell.


Reverse Sexual Orientation (Alteration)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Special; see below

     This spell temporarily converts a creature's sexual orientation
from hetero- to homo-sexual, or vice versa.  A bisexual who favors one
gender will now favor the other, and a bisexual equally disposed
towards both genders will be unaffected.  Asexual creatures or
creatures of species with more than two genders will be affected, if at
all, by GM's discretion.
     There is no save per se against this spell. Rather, upon first
experiencing sexual attraction in the altered way, or upon first
questioning one's unexpected lack of accustomed sexual attraction, the
subject, if strenuously disapproving, is allowed a Constitution check
at -4.  A successful Constitution check will experience a strong but
repressive erotic attraction towards a single individual for 1
round/level of the spellcaster, after which the effects permanently
vanish.  A new Constitution check may be made once per day, but with a
cumulative  penalty of -1 per day.  A check of 1 always succeeds.
     The material component is a concave lump of clay which the caster
re-molds into a convex lump.


Revulsion (Enchantment) Reversible

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: creature touched
Save: Neg.

     Successful casting of the Revulsion spell leaves the recipient
disgusted to the point of nausea at any prospect of engaging in sexual
activities of any kind, no matter how minor. The reverse of this spell,
Indifference, eliminates any negative thoughts or feelings the
recipient may have and replaces them with utter indifference. The
material component of this spell is a leech or the eye of a tuna.


Seduce Undead (Necromancy)

Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 24 hours
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 undead + (1 undead /
                every 2 levels above 9th of the caster)
Save: None

     This spell creates a standing order with one (or more) undead to
engage in sexual behavior of the caster's choice with the caster. The
undead will make no effort to harm the caster, although disease from a
zombie's touch or mummy rot, for example, may (un)naturally occur.
Each orgasm achieved by the caster causes 1d6 damage to the undead.
The material component is a drop of semen mixed with menstrual blood.


Seduction I (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 turns or until dispelled
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person (4 HD/levels or less)
Save: see below

     This spell is used by witches (some warlocks have customized it
for their use). This spell causes the affected person to cast aside all
weapons, armor, and clothing, in an attempt to seduce the witch,
leaving the victim virtually defenseless against attacks from the witch
or any other character or creature. Immediately after the spell wears
off or is dispelled, the victim can retrieve one of his dropped weapons
on a roll of 11 or more on 1d20. If the roll is 16 or more, the victim
may also retrieve a shield or helmet. Rolls may be repeated each round
until successful, as long as the victim stays within grasping range of
the weapon or other object to be recovered.
     Saves are a straight throw versus spells, modified by Wisdom only
(no magical protection device apply). Furthermore, the
victim saves at -1 for every two points of Charisma of the caster above
12, rounded up (i.e. -1 at charisma 13 or 14, -2 at 15 or 16, -3 at 17
or 18). This save gives characters or creatures with a decent Wisdom a
better chance of save vs. spells, tones the power down a bit, and makes
the calculation of saves much easier than the original method that
appears below.
     ALTERNATIVE SAVE: The save for this spell is computed by adding
the seduction spell level (1 through 8) to the charisma score of the
witch and subtracting the wisdom score of the intended victim. The
resulting number is used as a modifier (plus or minus) to a roll of
1d20. The adjusted die roll must be equal to or greater than a certain
number, depending on the class of the intended victim, for the save to
be successful. Fighters need a 13 to save, rogues need a 12, mages need
a 9, and clerics need a 8.
     There are seven level variations of this spell (Seduction II at
second level, Seduction III at third level). They are listed here
instead of throughout the guide for convenience.  The spells and the
difference in area of effect are as followed:
     Seduction II   - One person (6 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction III  - One person (8 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction IV   - One person (10 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction V    - One person (12 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction VI   - One person (14 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction VII  - One person (16 HD/levels or less)
     Seduction VIII - One person (18 HD/levels or less)


Skank (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 5 rounds/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Save: Neg.

     This spell turns an innocent, sweet person into a wild and crazy
nymphomaniac. The affected person will be struck by the nymphomania
insanity for the duration of the spell.
     This spell is very popular with apprentices at school who like to
cast it on snaughty, preppy girls.


Chastity (Abjuration) Reversible

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Save: Neg.

     This spell compels the affected creature to abstain completely
from any and all forms of sexual activity, including looking
appreciatively but with sexual undertones, going to whatever lengths
necessary to avoid anything which might lead to lust. The reverse,
Promiscuity, compels the subjects to attempt to engage in their most
preferred sexual activities as much and as quickly as possible. The
material component of this spell is a small silver key.


Constant Orgasm (Evocation)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: 1/2

     This spell causes the recipient to begin to orgasm, repeatedly,
and with great enjoyment, until the subject's body is no longer capable
of sustaining orgasm. The duration is based on level, but medically
speaking, it could end when the body collapses from exhaustion, or (for
males) when the body can produce no more seminal fluid. The GM may wish
to add possible negative modifiers for combat, movement, etc. because
of the victim's excited state. A successful save results in a single
orgasm of normal duration.


Dance of Charm (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 2
Range: 10 yards
Components: S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: Variable
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     This spell charms one person of the opposite sex selected by the
caster. It is subtle, and its casting cannot be detected before it is
completed. The caster dances a seductive dance and disrobes while doing
so. For every round he/she dances, a -1 penalty is imposed on the
save.


Homophobia (Abjuration) Convertible

Level: 2
Range: 20 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     Homophobia causes a person, regardless of orientation, to become
angry and nauseous at the concept or sight of any person or behavior
which might be construed as homosexual. The subject will attempt to
evade and void any such thing and, if evasion proves impossible,
hostile and even violent.
     Homosexuals affected by this spell will be constantly ill at ease.
The converse spell, Heterophobia, has exactly the same effects, except
that the aversion is towards heterosexuals and heterosexuality.
The material component is a lump of moldy cheese shaped like a triangle
(or a square, for the converse).


Jealousy (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 turns + 1 turn/level
Casting time: 2
Area of Effect: 1-6 persons
Save: Neg.

     The affected people will become jealous of each other to the
extent that they will ignore the mage or any other source of danger
present and quarrel amongst themselves. There is a chance equal to the
mage's intelligence of such an argument leading to blows and, if it
does, there is an additional chance equal to the mage's intelligence of
the fight being to the death.  If the fight is not to the death, then
the combatants will come out of the spell when hit.


Layla's Good Morning Kiss (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None

     This spell wakes up a normally sleeping creature and causes it to
be favourably disposed toward the caster for 1d6 turns. It also removes
any natural hangovers.


Kiss Of Weakness (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in
combat). This kiss causes the victim to lose 2d4 points of Strength for
24 hours. After receiving such a kiss, the victim will be completely
helpless for 1d10 turns.


Neville's Wandering Hand (Enchantment)

Level: 2
Range: 20 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Neg.

     Neville's Wandering Hand is named not after its inventor, but its
first victim: Neville, high priest of Torm, who suddenly found himself
unable to keep from groping and otherwise feeling up the young nubile
acolyte he was initiating into the order. (We hear that his latest
missionary assignment to the Icewind Dale is going nicely.) The
material component is a leaf of poison ivy.


Protection From Intoxication (Abjuration)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 hour/level
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell causes the recipient to be immune to the effects of any
kind of alcohol. It also grants immunity to the Houri spell Kiss of
Intoxication.


Pornographic Glamer (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 2
Range: Special
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting Time: 2
Area of Effect: Within a 10'x10' vertical square
Save: Neg.

     This spell creates a very convincing, erotic illusion with the
phantasmal effect of an Arousal cantrip nobody who would ordinarily be
sexually excited by engaging in the behavior or by the objects or
people being viewed. The illusion includes visual and auditory effects
only.


Sexify/Enhance Comeliness (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting time: 2
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     The recipient of this spell undergoes a transformation in
appearance to become more sexually attractive to members of the
opposite gender no matter what the recipient's initial comeliness.
Looks, smell, smoothness, and even taste of the outer skin are all
effected. The recipient's comeliness is effected as follows:

Caster's
 Level    Comeliness  Duration
  01          14      10 minutes
  02          15      20 minutes
  03          16      30 minutes
  04          17      1 hour
  05          18      2 hours
  06          19      4 hours
  07          20      8 hours
  08          21      16 hours
  09          22      1 day
  10          23      2 days
  11          24      4 days
  12          25      8 days
  13          26      16 days
  14          27      32 days
  15          28      64 days
  16          29      128 days
  17+         30      256 days

     Note that if two mages cast the spell on a person simultaneously,
then their levels may be added together to effect a stronger magic.
Further, this spell has the effect of negating any curse magic which
degrades the recipient's natural beauty.
     The material component of this spell is a cosmetic and perfume kit
magically prepared by a thaumaturger.


Sleep Theft (Alteration/Necromantic)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: Special
Area of Effect: Special
Save: None

     This spell allows the caster to steal sleeping time from their
sexual partner. The caster makes love with a person, and once that
person's climaxes he/she falls asleep for one hour per caster level, to
a maximum of 12 hours. The caster is refreshed just as if she had slept
for that length of time.


Transfer Charm (Enchantment/Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 10 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: as for the spell transferred
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell allows a caster of higher level to subvert previous
magical charms to his own purposes. For example: Erin, a second level
mage casts Charm Person on a Bryce, who becomes charmed. Anna, a third
level mage casts Transfer Charm onto Bryce, whereupon Bryce becomes
Charmed to Anna. However, Deneira, another third level mage, cannot
Transfer the charm to herself, as she is not higher level than Anna.


Vampiric Kiss (Necromancy)

Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 round/level
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended
victim on the neck and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e.
not in combat). After the kiss, the victim will lose 2 hit points per
round. The caster will receive one of those hit points per round if
he/she is not at maximum hit points already.


Voyeur (Alteration)

Level: 2
Range: 20 feet
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 2 rounds/level
Casting time: 2
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     A voyeur is a person who derives sexual gratification from
observing the sex organs especially in secret. Thus, this spell allows
the wizard to see through a person's clothing and examine sexual
organs. Of course the gratification part must be achieved solely by the
mage. The material component of the spell is a small piece of cloth and
a small piece of glass.

Kiss of Intoxication (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: 1 turn/level of the caster
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell causes the victim to become completely drunk. He/she
enters a state of great intoxication.


Kiss Of Slavery (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     When a wizard casts this spell, he/she must kiss the intended
victim and the victim must be able to receive a kiss (i.e. not in
combat). This is actually a Charm Person spell with no save.  Checks to
break such a charm are made after twice the normal duration.  The
victim of this spell will obey any order unquestioningly.


Leomund's Tiny Brothel (Alteration)

Level: 3
Range: 0
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: 15-foot-diameter sphere
Save: None

     When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque,
sound-proof field of any desired color around his person.  Up to 7
other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and
these can freely pass into and out of the brothel without harming it,
but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell dissipate.
     The temperature inside the hut is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if
the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior
temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the
interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny brothel
also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust,
sandstorms, and the like. The hut can withstand any wind of less than
hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than that
destroys it.
     The interior of the hut is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can
illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired.
The floor of the hut is soft and springy. Nice big cushy pillows are
also in the brothel. The spellcaster can cause the brothel play soft
romantic music upon command.  Note that although the force field is
opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within.  Missiles,
weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the hut without
affecting it, although the occupants cannot be seen from outside the
hut.  The hut can be dispelled.
     The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that
shatters when the spell duration expires or the brothel is dispelled,
the hair of a prostitute, and a feather (duck feathers work best).


Obsession (Enchantment)

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn + 1 round/level
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: Person touched
Save: Neg.

     A person under the effect of Obsession is overwhelmed by the
erotic desire for some animate creature chosen by the spellcaster.
A "crush" does not begin to describe the effect. The creature must be
such that the affected person might feel some attraction towards it
under normal circumstances, and the affected person will not act
contrary to alignment or personal ethic. The material component is a
crushed walnut.


Prowess (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: 24 hours
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None (None for reverse as well)

     This spell impressively enhances the size, shape, technique,
stamina, and eroticism of the affected creature with respect to organs
and matters sexual. Affected creatures are treated as having a Charisma
of 18 by anyone they cruise or flirt with, they become stunningly well-
endowed, and they are capable of engaging in extremely hot sex without
rest (bonus of +level X 1d4) to all sexual rolls.
     The reverse, Impotence, makes the subject flirt like a clod, dance
like an orc, and seduce like a used-chariot salesman. The subject will
experience appropriate withering, shrinking, and sagging, and will be
unable to achieve erection or lubrication. Affected creatures are
treated as having a Charisma of 3 by anyone they cruise or flirt with.
Orgasm is either impossible or else premature and highly unsatisfying.
     The material component is a leaf of mint.


Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 3
Range: 5 yards/level
Components: V, S
Duration: 2 rds/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     This spell, devised by my gnome illusionist primarily as a good
prank spell, causes all of the target's clothing and bodily possessions
to become invisible, but not the target itself. The target sees his or
her clothes as they normally are. Swords in scabbards are considered
bodily possessions, but not if in hand. Any clothes put on after the
spell is cast do not become invisible. Invisible items remain so until
the for the duration of the spell or dispelled.


Sex Slave (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 3
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 day/level
Casting Time: 3
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Neg.

     This very powerful spell reduces a living, intelligent person into
a lascivious, nymphomaniac sex slave whose only interest is bringing
the caster to orgasm after creative orgasm. Once the spell has
transpired, the former slave remembers everything that has happened.
However, the subject while enslaved will not only not object but will
enthusiastically agree with every sexual suggestion made short of
death. This spell is unequivocally evil.


Stanza's Diseased Kiss (Necromancy)
Level: 3
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent until cured
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect:  One person
Save: Neg.

     This spell causes one randomly chosen normal sexual disease in the
victim.


Angel's Negation (Enchantment/Abjuration)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell instantly negates the obsessive-compulsive behaviour
caused by a Seducer, and renders the recipient immune to the
non-magical charms of that Seducer.


Become Phantasmal Lover (Illusion/Phantasm)

Level: 4
Range: 5 yards /level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Until the next morning
Casting Time: As long as it takes (see below)
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: Special

     When this spell is cast, the wizard causes his features to shift
in the mind of his victim to conform to those of an individual that the
victim considers to the ultimate lover.  Once the spell is successfully
cast (and the save varies according to the amount of preparation in
casting the spell), the recipient will be putty in the hands of the
caster, not out of enchantment but only out of the recipient's own
sense of wish-fulfillment.
     This spell takes as much time to cast as it takes to get the
recipient drunk. The more thoroughly tanked the recipient gets, the
worse will be the save:

          had a serving of alcohol          -1
          Slightly intoxicated              -2
          Moderately intoxicated            -4
          Greatly intoxicated               -8

     The material component of this spell is large quantities of
alcohol, which must be passed through the gullet of the recipient.


Bybig's Bitch Slap (Evocation)

Level: 4
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting time: 4
Area of Effect: One female
Save: Neg.

     A version of the Bybig's Hand spells (although probably not from
Bybig). A quasi-real hand (five feet) comes into existence and smacks
the nearest women that the caster commands it to. If the woman knows
her place is in the kitchen, the hand only does 1 point of damage as a
reminder. However if the woman has complained, whined or not been to
the kitchen in three days, the hand instantly grows to the size of a
Titan hand (25 feet) and knocks the woman into the nearest kitchen (be
it 10 feet or 10000 miles) and forces her to cook a three course meal.
If she continuously refuses, the hand will inflict damage on her until
she submits (GM's decision on damage per hit).
     The hand has as many hit points as the caster in full health and
has an Armor Class of 0.
     The material component of the spell is a leather glove.


Layla's Morning After Kiss (Alteration)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     This spell causes a sleeping being to forget up to one turn of
action, per level of the caster (the caster may make the window of
forgetfulness shorter, if he wishes), that occurred just before he fell
asleep. The caster may remove the forgetfulness at will.


Layla's Seductive Impersonation (Alteration)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 day/level
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell allows the caster to change his form to that of another
seductive being for an extended period of time. He retains all of his
own abilities, and gains all of the natural abilities though none of
the magical abilities of the creature chosen. There is no danger of
identity loss as with a Polymorph. The types of beings that may be
impersonated are as follows: dryad, succubus, nereid, sirine, medusa,
mermaid, sylph, unicorn, vampire, foxwoman. Other similar beings may be
allowed at the discretion of the GM, as the spell works by allowing
similar types of creatures to become similar types of creatures, rather
than the specific forms being locked into the spell.


Layla's Sexy Kiss of Insanity (Enchantment/Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell inflicts one random sexual insanity. The reverse spell,
Layla's Reforming Kiss, removes one sexually-related insanity. It does
not affect any other forms of insanity.


Lovesickness (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 4
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting time: 4
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     This spell makes its recipient become so much in love with the
mage that as soon as she/he loses sight of the mage, the victim begins
to waste away. The victim stops eating food, turns to drinking, and
becomes a general wreck, fighting at a -5. As a result, she/he will die
of malnutrition in a number of days equal to her/his Constitution score
plus 10, and there is a 10% chance of her/him committing suicide.
What's more, if the mage tells her/him to go away, she/he is compelled
to do so. This unpleasant condition may wear off as a charm person, but
otherwise must be treated by cure disease.


Power Word, Strip (Enchantment/Charm)

Level: 4
Range: 10 yards/2 levels
Component: V
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell causes one person to take off all of his armour,
clothing, weapons, jewelery, etc. as quickly as possible. [inspired by
Tomas from the Unbearable Lightness of Being novel]


Stanza's Certain Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This spell inflicts one normal sexual disease of the caster's
choice. The reverse, Stanza's Kiss of Curing, removes one normal sexual
disease.


Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy)

Level: 4
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: Neg.

     This spell inflicts one random magical sexual disease.


Embarrassing Fetish (Enchantment)

Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day
Casting Time: 8
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Special; see below

     Sage's note: this spell leaves much room for creative
spellcasting, but is also very restricted and narrowly defined. Please
read with care.
     With this spell, the caster can instill in one intelligent
creature an erotic fascination with a single kind of object, behavior
(such that the sight, smell, sound, etc.). A sample of that designated
kind of object or behavior arouses the subject uncontrollably, and such
that erotic pleasure or orgasm is impossible without the presence of
the fetish object or behavior.
     Some representative examples of fetish objects are red hair,
spiked heels, whips, jewelled short swords, oak leaves, artificial
limbs or amputees, green tunics, tuna, cheese, sheep, gnomes, gnolls,
red dragons' tongues, royal guards in uniform, children, octogenarians,
members of one's immediate family, psionicists, rangers, mermaids,
lawful neutrals, and Red Wizards of Thay. Some representative examples
of fetish behaviors are having small insects and snails crawl all over
one's body, inflicting pain on another person, inflicting pain on
oneself, being strangled, strangling another person, being bound,
binding another person, being charmed or commanded, staging one's own
mock execution, and innkeepers' daughters pouring beer down one's
chest.
     This spell is extremely versatile and may be made as detailed and
kinky as desired. Extremely detailed or nearly impossible fetishes,
however, may occur so rarely or be so beyond the capacity of the
subject to locate or bring about that the spell has little effect on
the subject's life than to create enormous sexual frustration. Danger,
pride, and personal cost are not, however, enough to dissuade the
subject from the fetish once it has been made available.
     This spell cannot create a fetish for an individual person or
object ("Carolyn Greycloak" or "the Great Ruby of al-Ghasar," for
example). Nor can it, without the aid of another spell, create
homosexual desires in a heterosexual, or vice versa.
     There is no save per se against the fetish. Rather, upon
discovering the fetish, the subject, if strenuously disapproving, is
allowed a wisdom check at -4. A successful check leaves the subject
humiliated but thereafter free from the fetish. A new Wisdom check may
be attempted once per day, but since fetishes gain strength over time,
the check suffers a cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A Wisdom check of
1 is always successful.
     The material component of this spell is a sample, highly
representative object of the fetish, or an enactment of the fetish
behavior on the part of the spellcaster.


Layla's Beautification (Alteration) Reversible

Level: 5
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: 1 day/caster's level
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: One person
Save: see below

     This spell grants the recipient a Comeliness/Beauty of 25+1d6
(maximum of 30), with no save. The reverse, Layla's Uglification,
subtracts 2d12 from the victim's Comeliness/Beauty for the same
duration. Layla's Uglification has a save.


Reverse Gender Orientation (Alteration)

Level: 5
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special; Permanent, with save once/day
Casting Time: 5
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: Special; see below

     Under the influence of this spell, the subject experiences
trans-sexuality, the unshakable conviction that he/she is, despite all
biological evidence, of the opposite gender than the true one. The
subject cannot disbelieve or be persuaded otherwise, and will
immediately adapt hair, clothing, manners, speech, behaviors, etc.,
accordingly. Notice that males will behave in a feminine rather than an
effeminate manner, and similarly for females; the subject has no desire
to parody. If the subject's species has more than two genders, the
resulting gender orientation is GM's choice. If the species has only
one gender, the subject is unaffected.
     Like Embarrassing Fetish and Reverse Sexual Orientation, this
spell has no save per se. Upon first consciously realizing that one's
self-identification as male or female has changed, if the subject
strenuously objects, the subject is allowed a Charisma check at -4. A
successful Charisma check leaves the subject confused but no longer
trans-sexual. A new Charisma check may be made each day, but at a
cumulative penalty of -1 per day. A check of 1 always succeeds.
     Notice that gender orientation and sexual orientation are
different concepts, and that this spell alone will not change
orientation. However, the subject will claim a different orientation
based on the differently perceived gender. Thus a straight female will
consider herself a male who is attracted to men, and therefore a gay
man; likewise a lesbian will consider herself a man attracted to women,
and hence a straight man.


Stanza's Certain Enchanted Kiss of Disease (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 5
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     This kiss inflicts one magical sexual disease of the caster's
choice. The reverse, Stanza's Enchanted Kiss of Curing, removes one
magical sexual disease.


Conjure Succubus/Incubus (Conjuration/Summoning/Necromancy)

Level: 6
Range: 0
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 6 turns
Area of Effect: Special
Save: None

     This spell enables the caster to summon a female or male sexual
spirit which is subject to perform the caster's sexual bidding (not
combat). The spirit remains until dismissed. Casting this spell causes
1d8 damage to the caster, and each orgasm with the spirit requires a
save vs.  death magic. Failing this save permanently reduces the
caster's Constitution by one point. If the spirit causes someone
besides the caster to orgasm, both the caster and the other person must
make the save.
     This spell serves few purposes except as a sexual perversion of
the mage. This spell is always popular amongst Necromancers.


Prismatic Dildo (Conjuration)

Level: 6
Range: 60 yards
Components: V
Duration: 3 rounds/level
Casting Time: 6
Area of Effect: Special
Save: Special

     This spell allows the caster to conjure up an opaque object within
some orifice of a creature within range, providing the creature with
seven different sexual stimuli. Any creature with Constitution under 6
or fewer than 4 Hit Dice is immediately overcome by the sensation and
falls orgasming and unconscious for 2d4 turns. Any attempt to remove
the dildo only lodges it further, and increases the duration by 2
rounds. The seven colors of the shimmering cylinder function as
follows:

     Color  Order   Effect                   Spell Negated By
     Red     1st    Pornographic Illusions   Disbelief, True Seeing
     Orange  2nd    Arousal Cantrip          Disinterest
     Yellow  3rd    Expansion/Contraction    Hold Person
     Green   4th    Enigmatic Enema          Transmute Water to Dust
     Blue    5th    Ben-Wa Rotation          Chill Touch
     Indigo  6th    Vibration                Irritation
     Violet  7th    Lubrication              Dispel Magic

     Each color must be removed in order to negate the dildo before the
end of its natural duration. The spellcaster also may dispel the dildo
at will. It is rumored that other variations of the Prismatic Dildo
exist, both in their effects and their negations.


Sex Change (Alteration, Evocation)

Level: 6
Range: 5 yards/level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Permanent (ALTERNATE: 1 week/level)
Casting time: 6
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: Neg.

     This spell causes the victim's sex to change. Thus, a male becomes
female and visa-versa. A save vs. spell negates the effects. After the
change, the victim will be confused for 1d10 turns. Also, he/she will
have a percent chance equal to his/her Constitution of going insane
because of the trauma.
     The GM must make sure the victim of the spell acts in the manner
appropriate to the sex. If not, then the spell doesn't really seem
powerful.


Impregnate (Necromancy) Reversible

Level: 7
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 7
Area of Effect: One female (or Special)
Save: Neg.

     This spell creates life and, according to some mytho, a new soul,
in a creature capable of bearing young. Its reverse, Abort, destroys
unborn life. The casting of these spells upon a male, though
theoretically possible, would produce unpredictable effects, although
male pregnancy is not impossible. Casting this spell on an undead is
rumored to result in the gruesome death of both undead and caster.
Both of these spells, especially Abort, are highly controversial both
for Good and for Lawful creatures. The material component for both is
an arrowhead dipped in rabbit's blood.


Layla's Seductive Shapechange (Alteration/Divination)

Level: 7
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S
Casting Time: Special
Duration: Permanent until lapsed
Area of Effect: Special
Save: Special

     This spell discerns the nature of what the victim would consider
most sexually and physically attractive. The spell will make a number
of attempts to uncover this information equal to the level of the
caster, or until the information is procured. Each attempt takes one
segment, and the victim receives a save against each attempt.
Regardless of whether or not he makes his save, he will under no
circumstances notice this aspect of the spell.
     This information will be relayed to the caster, who may then opt
to activate the second half of the spell, which is to shapechange into
the form the information would dictate. If the caster does not, he may
apply the unused attempts against someone else, or give up the spell.
If the caster does, the new form is assumed until the caster wishes to
end it.
     Example: Layla wishes to infiltrate a party using this spell. She
casts against the Dirdan the fighter first, and he fails his save on
her second attempt. She finds he prefers dirty half-orc women-- a
really distasteful idea. Since she is seventeenth level, she has
fifteen more attempts to direct against the rest of the party. On
attempt seven, she finds that Alex the mage would really like a six-
foot tall snow elf who was wearing black leather. Layla finds this more
acceptable, forgoes her remaining eight attempts, and shapechanges into
a snow elf. The spell makes her clothing into black leather (without
destroying or altering any of its previous properties) and makes her
staff into a bull whip.
     After three weeks, she gets bored of Alex, and ends the spell,
changing back to her normal self.


Kiss Of The Nereid (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Instantaneous
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: See below

     When the kiss is bestowed, the victim must roll a successful
save vs. breath weapon, with a -2 penalty, or drown instantly.  If
he/she doesn't drown, he/she finds total ecstasy.


Power Word, Castrate (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 8
Range: 5 yards/two level
Components: V
Duration: Permanent
Casting time: 8
Area of Effect: 10-foot-radius sphere
Save: None

     When this spell is cast, one or more male creatures of any type
within the spell range and area of effect are castrated. The power word
castrates one creature with 60 hit points, or it castrates two or more
creatures with 10 or fewer hit points, up to a maximum of 120 hit
points. The option to attack a single creature, or multiple creatures,
must be stated along with the spell range and area of effect center.
The current hit points of the creatures are used.


Heartbreaker (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9
Range: 6 feet
Components: V, S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: Neg.

     This spell induces a sudden heart attack in its recipient. A save
vs. death is allowed. If the save is failed, the creature makes a
Constitution check. If the check fails, the creature dies. If the
creature survives, he/she will be totally incapacitated for 1d6+6 game
weeks. He/she will also permanently lose one point of Strength and one
point of Constitution, and will have a 5% chance of a future heart
attack every time he/she ever is required to make a Constitution check.
Note that this spell does require its victim to have a heart, so not
all creatures can be affected (i.e. golems, undead, slime, etc).


Kiss Of Death (Conjuration/Summoning)

Level: 9
Range: Touch
Components: S
Duration: Permanent
Casting Time: 1/2
Area of Effect: 1 creature
Save: None

     When the kiss is bestowed, the creature is slain (maximum of 150
hit points can be taken away). After 1d10 rounds the corpse turns to
dust. The creature can't be resurrected. (See Ya! Wouldn't want to be
Ya!)


Stanza's Kiss of Immortal Despair (Alteration/Necromancy)

Level: 9
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Casting Time: 1
Duration: Permanent until cured
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None

     This spell inflicts the victim with the sexual disease or sexual
insanity of the caster's choice, permanently, until it is cured by a
Cure Disease performed by a cleric of a good-aligned god and of higher
level than the mage who inflicted the disease. While the victim suffers
from the disease, the spell prevents him from being killed by it, or in
fact by anything, be it a sword, a fire, another disease, or a blow to
the head. Should the victim drop below 0 hit points, he will become
immobile but remain conscious.
     He will be incapable of performing any actions until he is healed
above 0 hit points. Dropping below -10 hit points will not kill him. He
gains no hit points back from resting if he is below 0, his body is too
battered to heal itself and only magical or herbal healing will help
him.


Summon Cissaldan (Conjuration/Summoning)

(As in Harlan Ellison's short "How's the Night Life On Cissalda?")

Level: 9
Range: 30 yards
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 9
Area of Effect: None
Save: None

     The casting of this spell will cause an interdimensional
connection between the world of the spell caster and the alternate
world of the Cissaldans. The utterance of this spell attracts one
Cissaldan which will come through the connection and attack whomever
the spell caster directs the spell against.
     The recipient has an immediate desire to "do a disgusting thing
with a disgusting thing" and will fall upon the Cissaldan with much
vigor. The recipient will not be able to do or say anything else since
his or her complete concentration is centered on the Cissaldan. The two
will continue to copulate until the recipient dies of starvation.
There is no known way of separating someone (or something since the
Cissaldans do not discriminate in any way) from a Cissaldan until the
recipient dies.  After the death of the spell recipient, the Cissaldan
will return to the world from which it came.
     Cissaldans are described as having two penises, two vaginas, and
are physically "disgusting" to look at. They, however, love to make
love so to speak, and can physically adapt to any sexual physiology.


Below is some spell ideas that creative (boarding on sick) mages
throughout the Prime Material Plane are working on.

   Animal Magnetism                   Cure Groin Soreness
   Deep Throat                        Enchant Condom
   Engorge                            Find Mate
   Finger of Death                    Kiss of Strength
   The All New Bybig's Forceful Hand  The All New Bybig's Grasping Hand
   The All New Bybig's Playful Hand   Tongues ReErection Unseen Sexual
   The Luscious Real-Feel Magic Mouth


-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    CLERICS WOULD USE THESE SPELLS?

     Most of the mage spells elsewhere in the guide can be easily
transformed into clerical spells for gods who will grant them.


Level 1
Baltasar's Impediment
Detect Venereal Disease
Divine Sexual Experience
Lactation

Level 2
Protection From Disease
Repair Virginity

Level 4
Fertility

Level 6
Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy



Baltasar's Impediment (Necromancy, Abjuration)

Sphere: Necromancy, Protection
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 round
Area of Effect: 1 (female) mammal
Save: None

     This spell enables the caster to prevent a female from becoming
pregnant. Essentially, it impedes a fertilized ovum from implanting in
the uterus. The casting of Baltasar's Impediment is not necessarily an
evil act; however, the GM should pay particular attention to the
alignment of the caster as well as the social & political (esp.
religious) atmosphere. For example, a lawful good cleric casting this
spell on a teenager without the permission of her parents, church, etc.
should be prepared for the wrath of his deity. A cleric who worships a
fertility god can not cast this spell.
     A neutral evil cleric, nephew of the king, might repeatedly cast
this spell on the queen in a secret attempt to usurp the thrown. A
neutral good cleric might cast this spell on all the maidens of the
keep before its fall to the orc siege -- although he cannot spare them
from the horrors to come, at least he can prevent the bastardization
that might result.
     The material components are a drop of blood from the target's last
menstrual period (or an ounce of her blood, from anywhere, that has
been mixed with dust and dried in a silver chalice) and the priest's
holy symbol. The priest invokes the name of his deity, touching his
holy symbol to the blood. The woman must then consume it, usually
mixing it with wine or some other fluid. The spell remains in effect
until the first day of the woman's next menstrual period, or a
successful Dispel Magic is cast upon her.


Detect Venereal Disease (Divination)

Sphere: Divination
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One creature
Save: None

     This spell detects the presence of sexually transmitted diseases
in a creature. A successful Intelligence check reveals the nature and
symptoms of, but not the cure for, any detected diseases. The material
component is the caster's holy symbol.


Divine Sexual Experience (Divination)

Sphere: Divination
Level: 1
Range: 10 yards
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: One person
Save: None

     Casting of this spell involves taking a clear vessel of water and
releasing a drop of ink into it. The percentage of the water undarkened
by the diffused ink indicates that person's purity score. Although not
absolutely certain, any score under 50% probably indicates loss of
virginity, and with the exception of the rarest of heroes and deities,
the score will be between 25% (casual interaction with others) and 90%
(extreme debauchery). More specific information may be revealed at the
GM's discretion.


Lactation (Evocation)

Sphere: Creation
Level: 1
Range: Touch
Components: V, S
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1
Area of Effect: Female touched
Save: 1/2

     Lactation, unsurprisingly, causes the subject to begin producing
breast milk. This milk is of the highest nutritive value. A save
results in a single discharge of colostrum.


Repair Virginity (Healing)

Sphere: Healing
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: S, M
Duration: Permanent (until the obvious happens)
Casting Time: 2 turns
Area of Effect: One person
Save: 1/2 (Special)

     This spell returns the subject to a state of physical virginity.
If the subject makes the save, then all sexual skills, knowledge, and
techniques are retained; if the save is failed, all knowledge and
skills are lost except those known before having lost virginity. A
female will grow an intact hymen, and any physical or medical damage
caused by sex or childbirth will be eradicated. The subject will
legitimately be considered a virgin for all religious purposes.


Protection From Disease (Abjuration)

Sphere: Protection
Level: 2
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M
Duration: 1 turn/level
Casting time: 3
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Save: None

     By means of this spell, the wizard bestows total invulnerability
to disease. The creature can't contract, become a carrier, or pass on
any disease he/she may already have. This spell doesn't cure disease it
merely prevents its transfer.
     When a person is subject to this spell, a glowing light appears on
the subject's palm. This is to assure the person has this protection
on. Therefore, a person he/she can't say "Let's have sex, I have the
protection on."
     The material component of this spell is a scoop of mold (a generic
form of penicillin).


Fertility (Alteration, Necromancy) Reversible

Sphere: Creation, Necromantic
Level: 4
Range: 10 yards/level
Components: V, S, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 1 turn + 1 turn/target
Area of Effect: Special
Save: Neg.

     This spell enables the caster to increase the fertility of the
target. The target may be either male or female. The fertility of a
character may be calculated as follows (as per The Complete Guide to
Unlawful Carnal Knowledge). Fertility = base chance + constitution
modifier. If both participants are "fertile" at time of copulation,
pregnancy results.

               Base
     Race     Chance            Constitution  Modifier
     Dwarf      22%                01-03        -6%
     Elf        13%                04-06        -4%
     Gnome      20%                07-09        -2%
     Half-Elf   54%                10-12        +2%
     Halfling   50%                13-15        +4%
     Human      77%                16-18        +6%

     Successful casting of this spell increases a character's fertility
by 5d6 points. In addition, there is a probability, equal to the level
of the caster (1% per level), that successful conception will result in
multiple births (roll 1d20: 1-17 twins, 18-19 triplets, 20
quadruplets). Multiple castings of this spell on the same individual
(while the first is still in effect) automatically fail, as does
casting on a pregnant person. This effect lasts through the target's
next copulation; thereafter, the target's fertility returns to normal.
Fertility can also be countered magically by spells such as Dispel
Magic, Infertility, or Wish.
     The reverse of this spell, "Infertility," destroys the target's
ovaries/testes and automatically results in a failed attempt at
conception (assuming that the target did not save versus spells).  The
target remains infertile until a successful Dispel Magic is cast upon
him/her followed immediately by Regenerate (the former dispels the
magic, the latter repairs the physical damage).
     Note: Fertility cannot counter the effects of Infertility, but if
the target is already under the effect of the former, he/she receives a
+1 bonus to save.
     This spell (and it's reverse) may also be cast upon animals (e.g.,
horses). The GM may choose the animal's initial fertility based on type
and quality of animal.
     This spell can affect up to 1 creature for every 3 levels of the
caster, unless the cleric worships a god of fertility, creation, death,
or destruction, in which case, the cleric can affect 1 creature per
level. Clerics who worship fertility or creation gods can not cast
Infertility.  Clerics who worship gods of death or destruction can not
cast Fertility.
     The material components for Fertility are the caster's holy symbol
and a seed from any plant (the seed is not damaged).  The caster's holy
symbol and the ashes from a handful of seeds are required for the
reverse (the ashes disappear during casting).
      NOTE: While the need for this spell might seem a bit
questionable upon initial reading, it works well as a plot aid:

     - "Gee, I wonder why there are so many orcs/green dragons/trolls
       around lately?"

     - "Boy, I sure hope the king has a child with this new queen -
       this is his third queen already! I would sure hate to see that
       sleazy nephew of his get the thrown!"

     - "Look, you gotta help us! There's not been a child born in this
       town in 2 years - not even among the livestock!"

     - It would also be a sneaky way to get those promiscuous PCs.


Yemelat's Orgiastic Frenzy (Enchantment)

Sphere: Charm
Level: 6
Range: 20-ft radius circle centered within 60 ft. of the caster
Components: V, M
Duration: Special
Casting Time: 6 turn
Area of Effect: See range
Save: Special

     Yemelat, whose archbishopric is among the most coveted of all the
dioceses of Lord Priapus, is most famous for his Orgiastic Frenzy
spell, first put to shockingly great effect at a Special High Council
of the priests of Helm, Torm, and Tyr. This spell compels those within
its range to engage in sexual activities with wild abandon with anyone
else within the zone. Those within may individually save vs.
petrifaction at -5 to stave off the effects, but must save again if
they touch anyone or anything in the zone, including their own bodies,
until they escape the zone or until everyone falls unconscious within
the zone. The material component is a peeled grape.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                      A BARD'S SEXUAL SPELL-SONGS


                    "Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On"

                                   By

              Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale

                       To be sang by the tune of
                  "Everything I do - I do it for you"


The love within your eyes
makes me sure,
I want to give you more...

You ought to know,
I love you so
I will never let you go

Oh, tell me you want my body too
My passion is hardening to you
My body plea
Undress me and you'll see...
Make love to me.


Level: 2
Area of Effect: Creature touched
Casting Time: 1 round
Duration: 2 hours (!!!)

Description: The spell-song insures the creature touched (usually the
bard caster) can engage in continuous intercourse for 2 hours!
Naturally, the partner can't take a whole 2 hours, so here's how it
works.
     Take the character's Constitution and add the applying bonuses
from the wild-thing rules: Strength, Dexterity, partner's Charisma. the
lowest bonus may be replaced by the bard's level if desired. The total
is how long the first intercourse will take. During each and every
intercourse, Four checks are to be done (with 1d20), and when one
fails the bard loses 1d6 hit points (instead of stopping). There's a
cumulative -1 to the check with every check done.
     Example: Starting at 27, Luwain can make love for 27 minutes to
start, then start again with a score of 27-4=23, and make love for 23
more minutes with checking only the last check of 23-3=20 (a 20 on the
check loses 1d6 hp). Now, Luwain can continue with a score of 19 for 19
minutes, checking against 19, 18, 17 and 16, and so on...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         SEXUAL PSIONIC POWERS


                          TELEPATHIC DEVOTIONS


Induced Pleasure

Power Score: Con - 2
Initial Cost: contact
Maintenance Cost: 2/round
Range: touch
Prep Time: 1
Area of Effect: individual
Prerequisite: mindlink, contact

     This is the opposite power of Inflict Pain. While no good comes
from it (no healing or curative effects), it makes the subject
individual shudder and twist in ecstasy. If used in combat, the victim
must save vs. paralyzation in order to keep functioning and fighting.
Failure to save indicates a penalty of -4 on all attack rolls that
round, and any spells being cast are disrupted.
     The insidious effects of this power occur when it is used in
conjunction with Inflict Pain. By using the two powers interchangeably,
dependent upon the victim's actions, the victim can be conditioned to
perform certain acts instead of other acts they would normally perform.
     For each week of being subjected to this treatment, they must make
a wisdom check, with a penalty equal to the number of weeks of
"treatment" (i.e., 3 weeks of treatment = penalty of -3) or have their
actions in particular scenarios predetermined by their conditioning.
Only one area of behavior may be affected per victim. Depending upon
the behavior modification, there is a chance (GM's discretion) for an
alignment change by the victim.

Power Score: The pleasure is so overwhelming that the victim passes out
for 1d10 rounds.

20: The contact is broken.


                        CLAIRSENTIENT DEVOTIONS


Know Sexual Preference

Power Score: Int
Initial Cost: 8
Maintenance Cost: n/a
Range: 20 yards
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: personal
Prerequisite: none

     This power enables the psionicist to read the sexual preference in
the aura of a creature. Aura Sight reads sexual preference and
experience. Aura Alteration can fool both reads.

Power Score: Psionicist know sexual preference and experience.

20: Wrong read, the opposite.


                       PSYCHOMETABOLIC DEVOTIONS


Sexual Pheromones Secretion

Power Score: Con - 4
Initial Cost: 9
Maintenance Cost: 6/round
Range: smell
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: personal
Prerequisite: none

      With this devotion the psionicist can make his body smell like
exciting perfume. When a psionicist starts this power he secretes
sexual pheromones all over his body. The attractive and exciting
perfume of these pheromones can attract attention, change reactions or
help to seduce someone.

Power Score: The perfume is so exciting that every opposite sex
creature in the area must save vs. petrifaction or desperately try to
engage in sexual intercourse with the psionicist (evil creatures may
use violent methods).

20: The psionicist steams a disgusting odor for 2d4 rounds.


Mind Over Sexual Endurance

Power Score: Wis - 3
Initial Cost: 6
Maintenance Cost: 5/round
Range: 0
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: personal
Prerequisite: Mind Over Body

     With this devotion the psionicist can prolong his pleasure.
Spending PSP, the psionicist can maintain intercourse without
Constitution checks. The prolonged uses of this power has some dangers.
If the psionicist prolongs the intercourse (in rounds) more than two
times his Constitution score, then when he stops paying the maintenance
cost he will collapses from exhaustion. If he goes for more than four
times his Constitution score he must save vs. Death (with a penalty
equal to the number of extra rounds) or die (but a good way to die).

Power Score: Half cost.

20: The psionicist loses interest prematurely.


Contraception

Power Score: Con - 3
Initial Cost: 10
Maintenance Cost: n/a
Range: touch
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: 0
Prerequisite: none

     With this devotion a psionicist can prevent pregnancy in any
female (including herself). This power should be used after sexual
activity. In some cases this may not be lawful, and in some it may not
be considered good. This devotion offers only 95% certainty according
to the following table:

      Roll    Result
     0 - 95   no fertilization
       96     one zygote
       97     two zygotes
       98     very ugly mutant child
       99     incredible ugly mutant child
       00     a beautiful, powerful mutant (get out Gamma World rules)

Power Score: 100% certainty.

20: Use 94 + 1d6 as % roll.


Enhance Fertility

Power Score: Con - 3
Initial Cost: 10/10% increase
Maintenance Cost: 1/10% increase
Range: touch
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: 0
Prerequisite: none

     With this devotion a psionicist can enhance the chance of
pregnancy in any female (include herself). This power should be used
before the sexual activity. The maximum chance is 90%. The psionicist
must maintenance this power during all the intercourse time.

Power Score: 10% bonus in fertility (up to 100%).

20: Fertility reduced 50% for a week.


Export Disease

Power Score: Con - 3
Initial Cost: 12
Maintenance Cost: n/a
Range: touch
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: individual
Prerequisite: none

     This power is the reverse of Absorb Disease and lets evil
psionicists to transfer one of his diseases to another character's
body. After that, the psionicist is free of the disease. (Other
psionicist can use this power, too, but their alignment would begin to
twist toward evil.) This power can transfer magical diseases, but not
curses, such as lycanthropy.

Power Score: The psionicist transfer all his diseases and the target
will have the psionicist's curses and insanities, too, but the
psionicist is not free of them.

20: The psionicist transfer 20% of his own hit points.


Willy's Expansion

Power Score: Con - 2
Initial Cost: 5
Maintenance Cost: 1/round
Range: 0
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: personal
Prerequisite: Expansion

     This specialized form of Expansion was created by Willy Kawallo to
increase the size of his preferred body part. The rules for size
increase are the same as in Expansion. Using this power the psionicist
must make a constitution check before starting sexual intercourse and
will have a -1 penalty in each subsequent check because it is more
difficult to use a big one. Females can increase any of their sexual
proportions with the normal Expansion power.

Power Score: Same as Expansion power.

20: The psionicist sexual organ shrinks 50% until arrested by this
power.


                         METAPSIONIC DEVOTIONS


Conductive Kiss

Power Score: Con - 2
Initial Cost: 20 or 10 x magnification
Maintenance Cost: 2 or magnification/round
Range: touch
Prep Time: 0
Area of Effect: personal
Prerequisites: 5th level

     With this devotion the psionicist can magnify the effects of
another power that has touch as range (double damage, no save, etc.).
The psionicist uses the kiss as a conductor and the victim will be more
vulnerable. The GM must rule which and how aspects of the psionic power
can be magnified or changed.

Power Score: Half cost.

20: A kiss with a terrible taste.



                MAGIC ITEMS YOUR MOM WOULDN'T APPROVE OF


Item                                        Price
Basque of Transvestitism                      200
Boo-Hag Goggles                               100
Breast Plate +1                               600
Earring(s) of Androgyny                       250
Everful Baby Bottle                           200
Figurine Of The Willing WonTon                400
Frictionless Sheets                           250
Gem of the Vo Yure                            250
Girdle of Speedy Gestation                    500
Girdle of Hippolyte                          1500
Hourglass of Parietals                        500
Jackknife of Circumcision                    2000
Ladies' Glass Ball                           2000
Lipsticks Of The Houri
     - Sleeping                              1000
     - Wounding                              1000
     - Weakness                              2000
     - Slavery                               3000
     - Nereid                                8000
     - Death                                 9000
Marishars Miraculous Bath House              7500
Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini                  1000
Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item                  ---
Penis of Astounding                          1500
Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy            500
Periapt Of Sexual Aides                      1000
Perfume/Musk Of Attraction                    500
Philter of Love                               250
Phylactery of Prophylactics                   250
Potion of Aphrodisia                          250
Potion of Potency                             250
Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love               500
Ring Of The Bulls                             300
Ring Of Perversion                            ---
Ring Of Protection                           1500
Ring of Sexuality Detection                   300
Sheet Of Useful Toys                          300
Spectacles of Revealing                       250
Sword Of Castration                          2000
Teeny-Weeny Bikini                           1000
Underwear Of Virginity                        200
Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment               300
Wand Of Love                                 2000
Wand of Pillows                              1000
Wand Of Vibration                            1000


Basque of Transvestitism - Any male wearing this garment appears to be
a female of the same race with identical stats. Any female character
can automatically see through this illusion, but males have to make
Wisdom rolls to realise something is wrong.

Boo-Hag Goggles - These goggles make everyone look much more sexually
attractive to the wearer than they really are.

Breast Plate +1 - This piece of armor gives the wearer a +1 bonus to
adjustment to armor class. Thus, a wearer with AC of 5 will have an AC
of 4 when this breast plate is worn. This armor is made of a strange
substance referred to by mages as Silicon.

Earring(s) of Androgyny - These earrings make it impossible for anyone
to discern the gender of the wearer, even if naked.

Everful Baby Bottle - This baby bottle always contains milk. The milk
is kept at a constant warm temperature. Most bottles produce cow's
milk, but some can produce milk from other mammals. Some exotic bottles
were known to produce enriched dragon's milk.

Figurine Of The Willing WonTon - This appears as a tiny (an inch or so
high) statuette of a lovely male or female. When the figurine is tossed
down and a command word spoken, it becomes a very attractive living
normal sized person that will serve him/her. The person serves
willingly and well, but at the end of 12 hours it returns to statue
form. The figurine does not come with any gear or clothes. The mount
can't do anything but perform basic sexual acts.

Frictionless Sheets - These covers seem like any other silk sheets, but
they have a nasty side. Three rounds after coming in contact with
living material (i.e. a person) the sheets become completely
frictionless. This could be very nasty if there is any strenuous
activity occurring at the time. With the loss of friction there will be
nothing to hold the person/s in the bed. Depending on the level of
activity the person/s could simply slide out of bed or be shot out of
bed at a high velocity. There are several applications for this magic
item. But if found randomly by a character it could be fun for the GM
to suddenly say to a character that while relaxing on his/her newly
found sheets the character slides off and can not clime back into bed
(HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH). The effect will wear off in 2-8 (2D4) rounds if no
living material is in contact with it.

Gem of the Vo Yure - These finely cut and polished stones are
indistinguishable from ordinary jewels, although a detect magic spell
will reveal its enchantment. When gazed through, the Gem of the Vo Yure
enables the user to see all human and kindred creatures as naked. The
viewing range is 300'.

Girdle of Speedy Gestation - This girdle reduces the term of pregnancy
and labor to 1/10th of normal, with no ill effects to bearer or baby.

Girdle of Hippolyte - This is really a thin metallic chain one wears
around the waist. The wearer is completely immune to any diseases or
ill effects gained through sexual intercourse (including the level-
draining abilities of succubi/incubi).

Hourglass of Parietals - This typical hourglass compels sexual
segregation. Males and females must move into separate rooms of any
building containing such an hourglass once time has expired. This
device is commonly used in certain lawful suspicious institutions of
learning in the Realms.

Jackknife of Circumcision - A magical device used in the initiation
rites of certain mythos, which functions as a Knife +2 in the hands of
a circumcised male.

Ladies' Glass Ball - A glass ball containing a green substance hangs
from a pendant. The ball itself is plugged from the bottom with a plug
of cork. The green substance inside, however, will show magical
properties. If consumed by a female this green potion will protect her
from impregnation for 1d4 months (GMs choice as to information given to
PC). However, if consumed by a male the substance will instantaneously
cause 1d4 points of damage. Then a save against poison must be made
each hour for the duration of days equal to half the PC's Constitution.
If he fails he looses one hit point per failure  The poison in a male
will not kill him but causes him sever discomfort and embarrassment. He
will begin to grow hair at an accelerated rate (1d4 inches/day) and his
voice will become very feminine (no save).

Lipstick Of The Houri - This lipstick gives its wearer a limited kiss
ability mimicking the spell of the same name. The effects last double
the duration of the spell. Each stick is good for 5 applications and
each application lasts for 1-6 kisses.

Marishars Miraculous Bath House - This one square inch marble block is
carved in the appearance of a Roman-style villa with pillars at the
front and erotic mosaics on the side and back walls.
     Once a day, the bathhouse can be invoked (command word Bachus). It
immediately grows in size until it is as large as a small house. It is
identical to the statue, with high marble walls, and pillars at the
front covering the entrance.
     The doorway is only large enough to allow one person at a time to
pass through, and has a large brass door that can be bolted from the
inside. Two large Iron Golems cast as Nubian slaves with scimitars
guard the doorway.
     Whoever passes inside first is the master/mistress of the bath
house, and all the creatures of the bath house will obey them. Inside
the house is only one room, with two pools (hot and cold) and several
marble slabs. gauzy silk curtains, cushions and tapestries decorate the
place. Several swans (white if the master is good/neutral, black if
evil) swim calmly on the cold pool. In the bath house are 2d6 beings of
the same race and opposite gender, with 18 charisma and 18 comeliness.
They are happy to please and have 20's in any and all the new sexual
proficiencies. If the master/mistress of the house wishes, the
companions can be switched to any gender or species.
     Inside the bath house, it is always comfortably warm, and there is
 always food (as long as you like grapes and dates) and fresh water.
     Nothing from the bath house (golems, companions, cushions, water,
food) can leave the bath house. If taken outside they vanishes.

Morgaine's Chainmail Bikini - As a fashion conscious adventurer,
Morgaine has decided to create the ultimate in sexy adventure-wear, the
"Chainmail Bikini".
     Provocatively designed to distract opponents, the "Chainmail
Bikini" covers only the minimal basics in order to preserve modesty.
Both the male and female versions are made of fine quality chain mail,
carefully lined with the softest furs available, to ensure no nasty
chain burns.
     The "Chainmail Bikini" is magically enchanted to provide armour
class protection affordable by anyone. The "base model" provides a
straight Armor Class 10 and is merely for decorative/distraction
purposes, providing basically no protection for the wearer. Other
models provide an increasing amount of magical protection, with a
corresponding increase in cost.
     The special "Temperature-Controlled" models have an added feature
which maintains body temperature in extreme cold or hot weather. The
creature can stand unprotected in temperatures as low as -30 degrees
Fahrenheit or as high as 130 degrees Fahrenheit with no ill effect.
Temperatures beyond these limits inflict 1 point of damage per hour of
exposure for every degree beyond the limit.
     A special model, "Chainmail Chastity", provides a miniature lock
and key for those adventurers who are concerned about losing the
friendship of their unicorn friends.
     And for those dungeons where the GM forgot to put in a bathroom
(or for female adventurers at _that_ time of the month) there is the
"Port-a-Potty" model, which has a special liner that absorbs wastes for
up to one week's time. To clean, remove liner and place in  a waste
receptacle, intone the appropriate magical phrase, and the liner will
"give up" its contents. Intone the other magical phrase to reset the
liner for another week's work. Warning: Be certain to reset the liner
before the week is out, as the liner will automatically stop absorbing,
and there is a 50% chance that the liner will automatically reset
itself, leaving the adventurer with a lovely, warm feeling. Evil beings
leave trapped versions by replacing the lining with a bag of devouring,
for a bit more enjoyment.
     A special smaller "Port-a-Potty" diaper model has been created for
infants and has been very popular in large cities.

Parents SoloPlay Cursed Item - This cursed item can be anything but
typically is in the form of something used by a child in puberty such
as jewelry, brush/comb, or book. This item was created by a goodie
goodie cleric or mage to ensure "spiritual purity". When the possessor
of this item masturbates roll 1d6 on the following chart to see what
happens to the offender:

    Die Roll   Effect
      1-2      "Struck by lightening" that does 10d6 (minus
               Constitution) points of damage. 5d6 points of damage if
               indoors.
      3-4      "Go blind" that lasts 7d6 days.
      5-6      "It falls off" but actually only causes 1d10 points of
               painful, permanent damage to genital region. Also,
               causes intense panic.

Penis of Astounding - This is a 12' long artificial penis. It is used
to stun an observer. When worn by a male, the Penis has a 70% chance of
stunning a person for 1d10 rounds. However when worn by a woman, the
odds increase to 95%. The penis is not subject to sexual arousal or
feeling, thus it can be used in combat, when unsuccessful as a penis of
astounding. Another version, the Ultra Penis of Astounding, also comes
with a bag of milk.

Periapt Of Proof Against Pregnancy - This engraved gem appears to be a
gem of small value. This periapt provides 100% protection against
pregnancy for males and females.

Periapt Of Sexual Aides - This gem appears nothing else then a
diamond (500-1000 gp), and no magic is detected. When in possession no
effect is noted until the possessor engages in sex. Then, if a man is
wearing the periapt, he cannot have a orgasm until his partner (which
he is having sex with) has at least one orgasm. If worn by a woman, it
makes herself more susceptible for orgasms (a roll of 1-2 on 1d10). In
a sexual act, if more than one person are using this kind of periapt,
they will explode for 3-12 (3d4) of blasting damage (10' radius), and
all possessors must check a system shock or lose the fertility.

Perfume/Musk Of Attraction - This liquid increases the wearer's
charisma by 1 point. The duration is 1d20 hours. The liquid comes in a
small bottle with 2d20 applications.

Philter of Love - As in the DMG page 144, with the following revision:
the philter will only inspire love for the next person the imbiber sees
who is of the appropriate gender with respect to the imbiber's sexual
orientation.

Phylactery of Prophylactics - A phylactery with 1d6 detachable beads,
each one of which functions as a Contraception spell (see guide).

Potion of Aphrodisia - Functions as Obsession spell (see guide)
directed towards next person seen by the imbiber, regardless of the
viewed person's gender.

Potion of Potency - Functions as Prowess spell (see guide), for 6
hours.

Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love - Legend states that this enchanted
whirlpool tub was created by Rahasia, Mage Priestess of Ishtar, The
Priestess of Love.  Whirlpools like this do appear in all Ishtar
temples and the best appears at Rashasia's.  Now, tubs appear all over
Oerth and the Realms mainly as an item of the rich and famous. The tub
is approximately 5 feet by 5 feet by 5 feet with side seats in it. The
tub can create air bubbles at the bottom that flow delightfully to the
top.  Also, the temperature of the water can be controlled. Command
words are as followed:

     Temperature   Command         Bubbles   Command
        Cold       Frigus          Low       Humilis
        Warm       Calidus         Medium    Modus
        Hot        Fervidus        High      Alte

Some clever clerics and mages have created gems that cause the same
effects as the whirlpool tub when they are placed in a small body of
water.

Ring Of The Bulls - This regular ring is engraved with a bull head.
When worn by a male, his more-private anatomy increases in size. The
size is dependant on the type of the ring (Roll 1d12):

    Die Roll   Ring Type           Effect
      1-5      Calf                Add 1/3 of the size
      6-9      Young               Add 1/2 of the size
     10-11     Bull                Double the size
      12       THE BEAST           Triple the size     <- dangerous

The male also gains a +1 to constitution checks during sex.

Ring Of Perversion - Cursed ring that can only be removed by a remove
curse spell. While the ring is worn, the person suffers the effects of
a sexual insanity (roll on the insanity table).

Ring Of Protection - This large ring is for males only and doesn't go
on fingers or toes. It provides 100% protection from pregnancy and
sexual diseases (both magical and natural).

Ring of Sexuality Detection - A very simple ring with a white,
semiprecious stone set in the side, which functions as per the Divine
Sexual Orientation spell (see guide), with the following restrictions.
Anyone whose orientation is scried makes a Wisdom check at -2. If the
check is made, then the scried individuals will sense that they are the
subject of some scrutiny. A successful Charisma check following that
successful Wisdom check will alert them to the purpose - but not
necessarily the source - of the scrutiny.

Sheet Of Useful Toys - This appears to a normal sheet adorned with
about 20 small cloth patches of various shapes. Anybody can remove a
patch. Detaching a patch causes it to become an actual item. The item
is some exciting sexual toy. The toy could be anything like oil, a
whip, blindfold, body lotion, body paint, or anything else the GM
images.

Spectacles of Revealing - While wearing these, the wearer sees everyone
as though they were absolutely naked.

Sword Of Castration - This weapon has a +2 bonus to hit and damage. The
real power of the sword is when the attacker rolls a non-adjusted 20 on
the attack roll. When this occurs, the victim (if male, ignore if
female) will lose his most treasured body part. Legend has it that this
sword was created by evil (and bitter) Amazon Warriors.

Teeny-Weeny Bikini - This object, when worn, will shrink upon command
revealing more and more of the wearer's body thus distracting any and
all male counterparts. If the save versus magic is not made, the men
around the woman will do various stupid things like run into walls,
trip, or make strange burbling sounds as they try not to let it be know
how they feel. Although the bikini will shrink, it will or will not
reveal anything depending upon the wearer's wishes. Thus, modesty in
one might be flagrant display with another. The bikini will fit anyone
of any size. The bikini also appears originally as a full body, 1920's
style swimsuit. Additional References: The Teeny-Weeny-Swimsuit for
men. Cost: Varies.

Underwear Of Virginity - This underwear is very popular among
protective fathers. When worn, the underwear cannot be removed without
the command word (usually the father's middle name said backwards). The
underwear is normal in respects to touch, but it is impossible to rip
or tear. The underwear also magically disposes of body waste before it
leaves the body, so there is no mess and absolutely no reason to remove
it.

Wand of Elenora's Embarrassment - The apprentice wizard Elenora's
biggest achievement to date is a magic wand 12" long made of ivory with
silver bands around it. Under detect spells it appears as a wand of
invisibility; but as Elenora found out when she demonstrated it to the
assembled wizard council, it renders the users clothes completely
invisible for 1 turn (hence its name).
     It takes an Intelligence check (every round) to notice the
invisibility, as the clothes still feel perfectly normal.

Wand Of Love - This wand is very thin, white, and has a lightning star
in one point. Anyone struck by the star ('to hit' roll required) must
save vs. spell or fall madly in love with the wand possessor. This love
is a double strength charm person (all rules apply), but the effected
character will even kill persons to retain his/her loved man/woman in
romance.

Wand of Pillows - A normal looking wand which produces pillows. Here is
the most fun magic item ever found, a "Wand of Pillows". Just point and
it produces loads of nice fluffy pillows. Great for padding that
dungeon room to sleep. Also, on occasion it can pad the bottom of a
drop when one loses all of his/her rope. Furthermore, one can use it to
defeat opponents through bewilderment, "Vile villain, stand back or
surely I shall slay you with my great and powerful wand", where upon
activation of the wand the enemy would fall into uncontrolled laughter
etc, etc, etc...

Wand Of Vibration - This wand has a small dial at one end. In magical
ruins on one end of the dial it reads "Pleasant Tingle" and at the
other end of the dial it reads "The Crusher". The last setting is very
dangerous and can cause 1 point of structural damage per round to any
materials less than or equal to rock. Also, this setting cause 1d10
points of damage per round to anybody foolish enough to place the wand
in a body cavity at such a high setting.


     Other magic items being worked on:
               Wand of Instant Gratification (ecstasy spell) - Morgan
               Helm of Horniness (cursed item) - Morgan

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         CUPID'S CHAOTIC ARROWS


     These arrows are the work of 'Irnar the chaotic mage (protege
Morgan Blackheart of the Chaotic Realm). Sometimes while trying to
enchant an arrow his mind wanders to perverse or romantic thoughts and
the actual enchantment isn't quite what he wants. He sells such
"rejects" to the local weapons store at discount prices (which are
still quite high due to the power of most of them). The weapons dealers
then sell the arrows to foolish adventurers. They advertise the arrows
as "Gifts from the Love Gods", "Missile Weapons for the Mature", and
"If You Like Chaos...". Then, the dealers inflate the price and make a
bundle. The arrows are available infrequently and at high cost. (One of
the most popular dealers is Secondhand Stan the Pawn and Porno Man).
     These arrows are never predictable in their effects. Roll
percentile dice and divide by three (round fractions consistently).
Arrows may be used only once, at which time they disintegrate into a
worthless pile of dust unless stated otherwise. A successful hit from
an attack roll must be made to initiate an effect unless stated
otherwise. They do not do damage unless stated otherwise.
     Mainly chaotic characters use the arrows. Also, characters with a
low wisdom tend to use them a lot more that others.

Effects:

1) The arrow is reflected back at the archer. Roll again to see the
effects on the archer ignoring this result.

2) The victim's Charisma is increased by 1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4
days.

3) The victim's Comeliness is increased by 1d10 to a max. of 30 for 1d4
days.

4) The victim's Dexterity with respect to sexual ability increases 1d6
to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

5) The victim's Constitution with respect to sexual ability increases
1d6 to a max. of 18 for 1d4 day.

6) All clothing, armor, and personal belongings carried on the victim
fall to ground leaving the victim naked.

7) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the
opposite sex to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled to follow the
creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

8) The victim will fall in love with the first living creature of the
opposite sex of the same race to meet his/her gaze and feel compelled
to follow the creature for 1d4 days in hope to win her/his love.

9) The victim goes into a melancholy depression for 1d4 days during
which he/she feels compelled to recite and attempt to write love
poetry.

10) The victim becomes infatuated with himself/herself for 1d4. He/She
spends a lot of his/her money on mirrors, fine clothing, perfumes,
cosmetics, etc..

11) The victim feels the urge to kiss a living creature of the opposite
sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

12) The victim feels the "urge to merge" a living creature of the
opposite sex and same race, and will make every attempt to do so.

13) "Love is blind" so victim becomes blind for 1d4 days.

14) The victim becomes "drunk on love". Therefore, he/she is affected
as if intoxicated for 1d4 days.

15) The victim becomes "crazed with love" for 1d4 hours. Thus, he/she
is confused. Roll 1d10 for the results:
     1    Wander away (unless prevented)
     2-6  Stand confused one turn (then roll again)
     7-9  Attack nearest creature for 1 turn (then roll again)
     10   Act normally for 1 turn (then roll again)

16) The victim becomes "love struck" for 1d4 days. Thus, he/she goes
into a state of suspended animation. This cessation of time means that
the victim does not grow older. His/her body functions virtually cease.

17) "Nothin' says lovin' like a bun in the oven", so female victims
become impregnated. Roll 1d10 to find out what the child is:
     1-5  same race as parent
     6-9  other common race (elf, human, dwarf, halfling, etc.)
     10   Demon
Male victims suffer 4d6 points of damage as punishment for going around
and getting innocent females pregnant.

18) "Say love with the gift that lasts: a diamond". The tip of the
arrow turns into a diamond during its flight. The recipient's Armor
Class becomes 10 due to the piercing of the diamond (dexterity bonuses
still apply).  The diamond-tipped arrow inflicts 1d10 points of damage.
The diamond is worth roughly 1d4 X 1000 silver pieces.

19) "Love is in the eyes of the beholder". During the flight of the
arrow, it becomes a 70 hp beholder (Monstrous Compendium Vol. 1) and
attacks the intended recipient of the arrow. Upon the victim's
destruction, the beholder will attack randomly.

20) The victim begins dancing for 1d4+1 rounds, complete with feet
shuffling and tapping.  This dance makes it impossible for the victim
to do anything other than caper and prance; this cavorting worsens the
Armor Class of the victim by -4, makes saves impossible except on a
roll of 20, and negates any consideration of a shield.

21) The victim has the urge to become a prostitute and will attempt to
fulfill this urge for 1d4 days.

22) The victim contracts a random normal sexual disease.

23) The victim contracts a random magical sexual disease.

24) The victim contracts a random sexual insanity.

25) The victim attracts frogs for 1d4 days. The frogs are plain,
ordinary frogs whether you kiss them or not.

26) If the victim is male, he develops large breasts for 1d4 days. If
the victim is female, she develops an enormous amount of body hair and
will prefer to urinate standing up.

27) The arrow is a Heartbreaker. The arrow turns into a lightning bolt
that inflicts 10d6 points of damage upon contact. A successful save vs.
spell reduces the damage to half (round fractions down).

28) The arrow is a Screamer. The whistling sound is like the sound of a
bomb falling, but without any effect whatsoever. Normal damage.

29) The arrow becomes semi-intelligent with a great knowledge of poetry
equal to a bard's. It will constantly follow the victim around
receipting all forms of love poetry.

30) The arrow turns into a rose upon contact.

31-33) REROLL

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


              PROTECTION OF THE WORST KIND (FOR THE MALE)


To better equip the saintly woman, some people (probably those gnomes)
have designed some vaginal inserts to make would-be rapists pay for
their lustful attempts at unlawful entry. But first let us see where
these inventions originated at:

     It seems that the first case of protective vaginal inserts began
in human tribes of the wilderness. Naturally the daughter of a tribe's
chief was the most sought after girl in the village, and there was a
strict custom about whoever took her virginity would be the next
leader.
    To protect their little girls from unlawful entry certain tribes
developed vaginal inserts. There is a certain type of cactus whose
spines grow at angles on a rather broad, smooth leaf. The chief's wife
would remove the spines from one side of two leaves and insert these
pieces into the daughter's vagina with the spiny sides facing each
other and pointed back inside the girl.
    If anyone tried to have his way with the girl, his penis would
slide in easily enough, but when he went to pull out...... eeeeh....


Model VI-1

Basically a five inch vaginal insert constructed of metal that has a
four inch hooked spike in it as such:

/------------------
|          \
|------------
|
\------------------

Thus, any male forcing intercourse would have this device stuck in his
penis and he would be easily identified by the wounds.


Model VI-2

Same construction as Model VI-1 accept that the walls of the insert all
have spring hinged tiny spikes that point inward as such:

/---------------------
|  /  /  /  /  /
|
|  \  \  \  \  \
\---------------------

Thus, the would-be rapist will have this device stuck on/in his penis
and he would be easily identified.


MODEL VI-S1

This sinister vaginal insert allows the woman to release a spring
loaded blade. When the woman thrust a certain way (instructions
included) the blade springs out and slices up whatever is in her at the
time.


Model VI-HM Blueprints

These blueprints allow a person to make a safe homemade version of
protection at a low cost. Although somewhat complicated, the person
basically uses carefully placed broken glass in cork.


Conclusion

     There are two major reasons that these inventions never made it
into major production: no woman wants to wear what for her is basically
a dildo all day, and a harmed would-be rapist is an unhappy would-be
rapist and would probably kill a woman who used such a thing.



                        HOURI: WIZARD SUB-CLASS


DESCRIPTION: The Houri is a nymph of paradise. She was born in a seedy
section of a city, growing up in a poor and miserable life but dreaming
of a better future. Yet, instead of turning to a life of thievery like
most, her beauty and intelligence leads her to a life a magic. Once
there, she specializes in charming, enchanting, and seducing.
     Some people look down upon her as a disgusting prostitute and
vixen. Others view her as a sensual beauty and the most desirable being
on the Prime Material Plane.
     In addition to normal magic-user requisites, the Houri must have a
minimum Charisma of 15 (her voluptuously alluring beauty and charm
being evident). Also, a Houri is female (although adjustments can be
made for men and thus a Gigolo wizard sub-class is born). Furthermore,
she must be of chaotic alignment.

PREFERRED SCHOOLS: The most appropriate school for the Houri is
enchantment/charm.

BARRED SCHOOLS: All other schools are barred.

ROLE: The Houri is a fun-loving, charming person who can find herself
mingling at all the high-class parties with many men-a-calling. She can
also be found being a high-class prostitute for the wealthy and
well-to-do. Her magic abilities are not always known by the company she
keeps, which leads to mystery on why she is so alluring.
     Having a terrible and trapped childhood, the Houri is glad to
adventure, traveling to many cities being the flirt in each. Her
abilities of charm and communication make her valuable when in contact
with intelligent beings (shes so irresistible). Because of this, she
tends to be viewed as the leader of the group, although this probably
isn't true (such matters of tactics, marching order, etc. are of little
importance to her).

WEAPON SKILL: REQUIRED: dagger or knife. The Houri is often fond of
long, thin pins such as hat-pins and hair-pins, which can be easily
concealed on the Houri's person and do 1-3 points of damage.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, any one of the sexual
skills listed in this guide (player's choice). RECOMMENDED: (General)
Artistic Ability, Dancing, Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no
penalty), Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Houri can spend her money on anything she likes.
Remember, that the Houri should maintain a level of high beauty. Thus,
jewelry, fine clothing, and perfumes are a favorite items of purchase
for a Houri.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Houri has a special power of seduction described
in the "Seduction For The Professional" section.
     The Houri receives a +3 reaction modifier from men.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: A Houri is not allowed to wear protective armor;
indeed, the less clothing she wears, the more effective she is.
     The Houri receives a -3 reaction modifier from women, for obvious
reasons.
     The Houri refuses to live the terrible poor life she once had.
Thus, when making purchase, the Houri accepts nothing but the best,
whether it be a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest
to carry her possessions. Any time she buys any item, the Houri must
pay 10 to 100 percent more than the listed price. The GM will decide
the price paid by the Houri, which may vary from item to item,
depending on the quality of merchandise in a particular locale.

WEALTH OPTIONS: The Houri receives only (1d4+1) x 5 GP for starting
money.

RACES: A Houri can only be human, elven, or half-elven.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                       SEDUCER: WIZARD SUB-CLASS


DESCRIPTION: Where the Houri tends to be bubbly and perhaps a little
indiscriminate, the Seducer (Seductress if female) is more subtle and
discreet in his efforts. He will be dressed elegantly but not showy,
have excellent taste in all that matters, and be very capable of
following through on everything he promises... but whether he does, is
another story. Seducers are the Valmonts and the Casanovas of the magic
world. In addition to the normal requirements for a magic user, the
Seducer must have a minimum 15 Charisma and 12 Wisdom (to be able to
figure out all the tricky angles to use on which particular person).

PREFERRED SCHOOLS: Seducers may not specialize.

ROLE: The Seducer is the man that all the women swoon over and the
Seductress the woman men fight over. They are manipulators in cunning
and subtle ways -- yet they are not all evil, some merely wish to
explore their sexuality in as many ways as they can, and some are
merely looking for a mutual good time.

WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily
hidden and carried about.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Dancing, Artistic Ability, any one
sexual NWP. The Seducer is assumed either to have come from a high-
class background or to be aspiring to/pretending to have one.
RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty), Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Seducer should spend a fair amount of money on good
clothing, and should bear in mind if male that taking all those lovely
ladies to dinner will cost a pretty penny.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Seducer uses a special power of seduction
described in the "Seduction For The Professional" section with the
following formula rather than the one given:

              Seducer's level + his Charisma
              ---------------------------------------------
              Victim's level + modifiers + Wisdom bonus
                                           vs. charm spells

     Additionally, the Seducer receives a kind of "professional
courtesy" from fellow charmers. Such creatures as mermaids, succubi,
medusae, vampires, sirines, or others that use natural charm spells
(GM's discretion) will not attack the Seducer and will be friendly
toward him as long as he is the same toward them. Same creatures will
be neutral to the Seducer's companions so long as those companions are
same toward them, but even should the companions attack the creatures
will not attack the Seducer until he attacks them.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: The Seducer must maintain his wardrobe, and is
constantly replacing articles which have been muddied or torn. They are
such perfectionists in their craft that they will dispose of anything
that will harm their seductive craft unless it can be perfectly mended.
They will also pay 10%-100% more than the normal cost whenever making a
purchase due to their exacting standards.
    The longer a Seducer practices, the more charming he becomes -- so
much so, in fact, that any humanoid of the opposite sex who comes in
contact with him must save vs. spell at a penalty equal to the
Seducer's level, and with no magical protective aid (no rings of
protection, etc., but Wisdom bonus is allowed) or become mildly
enamoured of him and disposed towards jealousy of any perceived rivals.
This can work to the Seducer's advantage, but not when he's trying to
seduce the Duchess and the enamoured chambermaids are putting mud in
her stockings.
     Additionally, should a natural 1 be rolled on the saving throw,
the victim will become completely obsessed with the Seducer. The victim
will do anything (even violate his alignment) to gain the Seducer's
love, and will deal ruthlessly with all rivals, real or perceived.
This condition will last until negated by a Cure Insanity cast by a
cleric of higher level than the Seducer, a Heal, a Limited Wish, a
Wish, an Alter Reality or an Angel's Negation is cast on the afflicted.
Alternately, 2d12 sessions psychotherapy lasting one hour each will
grant the same result as an Angel's Negation.

WEALTH OPTIONS: The Seducer begins with 5d4x10 gold pieces of starting
money to simulate his higher standing.  However, he must spend 50% of
it on clothing.

RACES: A Seducer can theoretically be any race, although most GMs would
probably prefer to limit it to humans, elves and half- elves.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                      SEDUCTRESS: ROGUE SUB-CLASS


DESCRIPTION: The Houri does it for sleazy pleasure, the
Seducer/Seductress mage does it for professional pleasure, but the
rogue Seductress does it for the wealth.
     The Seductress is a female rogue who uses her special abilities of
seduction to get what she wants. Unlike the mage Seductress who is in
it more for lust, the rogue Seductress is more materialistic using lust
to get things.
     In addition to the normal requirements for a rogue, the Seductress
must have a minimum Dexterity of 12, a minimum Wisdom of 13, and a
minimum Charisma of 15. The prime requisites are dexterity and
charisma.
     A Seductress can be any chaotic alignment or neutral evil.

ROLE: Seductresses are the women that men gawk over. They are
manipulators in cunning and subtle ways typically getting what they
want which is usually money. And if they have some wonderful sexually
experiences, they better.
     Many thieves guilds have at least one Seductress high up in the
organization. Most Seductresses latch onto the guild leader and use
their powers to control the leader as a puppet and thus rule the guild
from behind the scenes.

Skill Progression: The Seductress has the thieves skills of Pick
Pockets, Move Silently, Hide in Shadows, and Detect Noise. The
Seductress doesn't have the thieving skills of Open Locks, Find/Remove
Traps, Climb Walls, and Read Languages.

WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily
hidden and carried about.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Dancing, Disguise, any one sexual
NWP. RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing, Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Seductress should spend a fair amount of money on good
clothing, perfume, and other items of beautification. The Seductress
doesn't wear armor as it hides her beautiful body unless shes on a
thieving excursion and then leather armor is acceptable.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Seductress uses a special power of seduction
described in the "Seduction For The Professional" section with the
following formula rather than the one given:

              Seductress level + (her Charisma / 2)
              ---------------------------------------------
              Victim's level + modifiers + Wisdom bonus
                                           vs. charm spells


SPECIAL HINDRANCES: The Seductress must maintain her wardrobe, and is
constantly replacing articles which have been muddied or torn. They are
such perfectionists in their craft that they will dispose of anything
that will harm their seductive craft unless it can be perfectly mended.
They will also pay 10%-100% more than the normal cost whenever making a
purchase due to their exacting standards.
     Note also that the Seductress also has a great love for jewelry.
After all a woman is only as beautiful as her accessories. So the
Seductress is required to spend a considerable amount of money on such
things.
     The rogue Seductress is typically looked down upon by Houris and
mage Seducers. They usually go out of their way to make life difficult
for Seductresses when possible.

WEALTH OPTIONS: The Seductress begins with 5d4x10 gold pieces of
starting money to simulate his higher standing. However, he must spend
50% of it on clothing.

RACES: A Seductress can theoretically be any race that can be rogues,
although most GMs would probably prefer to limit it to humans, elves,
and half-elves.

SEDUCTRESS' GUILDS: These guilds are mostly in large cities and often
found in matriarch cities. The guilds provide training for seductresses
and will provide most often cheap room and board. The guilds are often
connected to the government officials. This way they can provide
service without any need for secrecy.
     The guild will give information on other guild locations and
places where males are the minority of a population. That way a working
woman can be financed easily. The guilds are often against any male
ruled kingdoms and will pay for services of destabilize these
governments. The dues are paid by training and using the facilities of
the guild. Such as baths, cosmetics, spells, etc..
     The guilds are run by older seductresses. They often have
heagmasters and a small council. They set up rules and dress codes for
the area  Some guilds provide the community with escort services.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                          PSIDUCER: PSIONICIST


DESCRIPTION: The Psiducer is a telepath who uses her (or his) psionic
ability to for pleasure and power. Like the mage seducer, the Psi-
Seducer seeks pleasurable experiences through manipulation of others.
Like the rogue seducer, the Psiducer seeks wealth and power.
     The Psiducer is always looks wonderful. The mind is great but the
body looks the best. The Psiducer dresses quite elegantly favoring silk
clothing above all others (some sages say that silk helps channel
psionic power).
     In addition to the normal requirements for a psionicist, the Psi-
Seducer must have a minimum 16 Charisma. The Psiducer can be of any
alignment allowed by psionicists. Telepathic is her primary discipline.

ROLE: The Psiducer is a much desired person. A beautiful person with a
good mind; what a combination (and probably dangerous). The Psiducer is
concerned with her own needs which mainly revolves around the pleasures
of the mind and body and most Psiducers will pursue this avenue to the
end. As part of the Psiducer's vanity, she strives for large quantities
of material wealth and will use her powers of seduction to get it.
Having money brings power which keeps the Psiducer's lifestyle
pleasing.

CHOSEN DISCIPLINES: REQUIRED: Telepathic RECOMMENDED: Psychometabolic,
Clairsentient

SCIENCES: REQUIRED: Split Personality. RECOMMENDED: Domination, Mass
Domination, Switch Personality, Probe, Aura Sight, Clairaudience,
Clairvoyance, Create Object, Appraise.

DEVOTIONS: REQUIRED: one Sexual Psionic Devotion, Attraction, Awe,
Empathy. RECOMMENDED: Conceal Thoughts, Contact, Daydream, ESP, False
Sensory Input, Psychic Impersonation, Repugnance, Post-Hypnotic
Suggestion, Telepathic Projection, Inflict Pain.

WEAPON SKILL: RECOMMENDED: Dagger, or some other small weapon easily
hidden and carried about.

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Artistic Ability, any two sexual
NWP. RECOMMENDED: Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty),
Gaming.

EQUIPMENT: The Psiducer spends a fair amount of money on
beautification. The Psiducer doesn't wear armor as it hides her
beautiful body.

SPECIAL BENEFITS: The Psiducer is a pleasure to be around and doesn't
need any more benefits.

SPECIAL HINDRANCES: Because they use their psionic abilities for earthy
reasons, the Psiducer is looked down upon by other psionicists. This
results in a reaction penalty (usually 5%) decided by the GM.

RACES: Any that may be a psionicist.

NOTES: Here are some creative uses for existing powers:

     - Disintegrate clothes
     - Expansion of Bust or Hips
     - Probe for sexual experience or preference
     - Induce pleasure on herself
     - Summon Planar Creature - Succubus
     - Adrenaline Control - Increase Constitution

Here are psionic powers that creative psionicist are working on:

     - Below Waist Project Force
     - Disease Sense
     - Ecstasy Field
     - Create Insanity (a very special Psychic Surgery)
     - Beautification (a very special Metamorphosis)
     - Desire Whip
     - Sexual Insinuation
     - Sexual Daydream
     - Desire Amplification
     - Graft Partner

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                         "I'M JUST A GIGOLO..."

                         GIGOLO: BARD SUB-CLASS


SPECIALTY: Entertainer/Lover/Romantic.

QUALIFICATIONS: Standard ability scores (Dexterity of 12, Intelligence
of 13, Charisma of 15). Gigolos must have a Constitution of 16 or more.
Humans, Half-elfs, Elves may become Gigolos but they must be male.
     Although it is not required, the recommended alignments for
Gigolos are Neutral Good, Neutral, and Neutral Evil. These alignments
seem most appropriate. Lawful characters would steer clear of
situations that Gigolos often find themselves in. Also, chaotic
characters couldn't remain with just one person long enough which is
what the Gigolo sub-class is all about.

INTRODUCTION:      I'm Just A Gigolo (Sad and Lonely)

                                       --- by Roth Van Clevens


                 I'm just a Gigolo and everywhere I go,
                   people know the part I'm playin',

               Pay for every dance, selling each romance,
                       ohhh, what they're sayin',

           There will come a day, when youth will pass away,
                      what will they say about me,

            Well the in crowd will know, I am just a Gigolo,
                        LIFE goes on without me,

                                 Cause'

                          I, ain't got nobody,
                  nobody cares for me, nobody, nobody,

                         I'm so sad and lonely,
                    sad and lonely, sad and lonely,

                   Won't some sweet mama come with me,
                            I ain't so bad,

                        Booza Booza Bop Tity Bop.


DESCRIPTION: Sages refer to gigolos as men paid to be women's escorts
or lovers. Some view gigolos as sad versions of Gallants, but gigolos
are more. Sure Gallants are pure and romantic, but their only concern
is their own personal passions. They charm and steal the hearts of
women and then wisk away. The only time Gallants are concerned for
others is when they can obtain glory and prestige. On the other hand,
Gigolos make their living entertaining women. Their whole purpose is to
please and satisfy women.

ROLE: A gigolo travels the lands looking for a beautiful woman (usually
wealthy and single and probably being a widow) to satisfy. He will stay
with one woman until the situation becomes unrewarding.
     When a gigolo goes adventuring, it is likely the result of a
request from a fair maiden, to retrieve an item of beauty and love, or
for some other romantic cause. Unless a woman is present, the gigolo
will probably stand clear of danger. But if a woman is looking on, then
the gigolo will be quite the hero.

SECONDARY SKILLS: Merchant, Domestic Servant.

WEAPON SKILL: Gigolos must use gentleman weapons such as the rapier,
epee, foil, sabre, and dagger. They may not use missile weapons such as
long bow, short bow, crossbow, darts, etc..

NONWEAPON SKILL: BONUS: Etiquette, Sexual Endurance, Sexual Knowledge,
Massage, Poetry. RECOMMENDED: (General) Artistic Ability, Dancing,
Languages (Modern), Singing (Rogue, no penalty).

ARMOR/EQUIPMENT: A Gigolo is not allowed to wear protective armor;
indeed, the less clothing he wears, the more effective he is.

SPECIAL BENEFITS:
     The Gigolo gains a +05% adjustment to the Detect Noise thief
skill, because listening is very important to him (especially for the
approaching footsteps of husbands, boyfriends, etc). Also, a Gigolo
gains a +10% adjustment to the Read Languages thief skill, because most
of Gigolo's customers are going to be fairly educated and most of them
are likely to have a substantial library.
     Poetic Charm: A Gigolo who directs his attention to one person of
the opposite sex can attempt to win that person's heart. This requires
the Gigolo to perform many subtle acts of wit and charm. Among these
acts must be the recital of at least one poem concerning the person.
The entire effort takes a minimum of 10 minus the bard's level turns
(not less then one turn), after which the person rolls a saving throw
vs. Paralyzation with a -1 penalty per four levels of the Gigolo.
Failure means that the person is affected as if the Gigolo cast a Charm
spell on him or her.
     The effect is not magical and doesn't wear off over time, unless
the Gigolo treats the person badly or exploits them. Each abuse results
in another saving throw being rolled to break the Gigolo's charm. The
Dungeon Master may apply adjustments based on the situation.
     Personalize: This Benefit allows the Gigolo to personalize any
song, poem, or story for 1 person. This makes the person targeted feel
as if the poem, song, or story is about them. Once a piece has been
personalized the target will perform any suggestion the Bard makes as
long as it is not contrary to their nature for 2d10 rounds. If a Bard
personalizes a bit for someone else within 5 turns of the previous
target, the first target will fly into a rage from jealousy. Although
the first target may not act right away, he or she will attempt some
form of revenge. It is up to the Dungeon Master to determine the
quantity and method of revenge.
     Domestic Skill: A Gigolo will excel at any one domestic skill.
The Bard will be able to succeed in all but the most extreme attempts
at his or her particular skill. The domestic skills include but are not
limited to: cooking, cleaning, shopping, butler, fashion consultant,
etiquette, diplomacy, wine connoisseur. The Bard should pick one of
these to excel in, but may take any of the others as a skill. These
skills are used by the Bard to impress any customer and can become an
asset when payment is considered.
     Conceal Activities: The Gigolo may have more than one customer.
This ability allows the Bard to Conceal his activities with one
customer from his other customers. It comes into effect when a customer
asks the Bard about his "off-time". The Bard is able to skillfully fend
off any inquiries by redirecting them onto other subjects. Only under a
spell or spell-like effect will the Bard reveal his other activities
(unless he wants them revealed, of course).

SPECIAL HINDRANCES:
     The Gigolo receives a -3 reaction modifier from men, for obvious
reasons. Also, the Gigolo will not gain any followers and will in most
cases not have a strong hold.
     The Gigolo suffers a -10% adjustment to the Pick Pockets thief
skill, because he doesn't practice this skill much since it has little
value for him.
     The Gigolo refuses to live the terrible poor life. Thus, when
making purchase, the Gigolo accepts nothing but the best, whether it be
a meal, a room for the night, a weapon, or even a chest to carry his
possessions. Any time he buys any item, the Gigolo must pay 10 to 100
percent more than the listed price. The GM will decide the price paid
by the Gigolo, which may vary from item to item, depending on the
quality of merchandise in a particular locale.
     The Gigolo contacts many females in an intimate way. If he
contacts any sexual disease and passes it on to a client, he will not
be contacted by any new clients, and as word gets around he will lose
all his clients. Eventually he will not be able to support himself in
his current place of residence and will be forced to move to another
locale.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


            GETTING TO KNOW A PROSTITUTE (RANDOM GENERATOR)


OVERALL PROSTITUTES

     Before getting to know a specific prostitute, the prostitute pool
should be known. The GM may make adjustments as she/she deems
necessary.

     To decide the number of prostitutes in a given settlement examine
Table 1. Make adjustments based on alignment of the settlement (Table
2). NOTE: Most GMs feel that the number of prostitutes should never
exceed 10% of the total population unless the settlements primary
function is prostitution. Therefore, adjustments should be made
accordingly.


TABLE 1: Number of Prostitutes

     Settlement        Population       # Of Prostitutes
     Thorp               20-80                1d6
     Hamlet             100-400               1d10
     Village, Wych      600-900               1d20
     Town              1500-6500              1d100
     City             10000-60000             2d100


TABLE 2: Alignment Adjustments To # Of Prostitutes

     Lawful    divide by 2
     Chaotic   multiply by 2
     Good      divide by 2
     Evil      multiply by 2


     Information on prostitutes working under management can be found
in the "The House Of Ill Repute" section.


GETTING A FEEL FOR THE PROSTITUTE

     Not all prostitutes are alike. Below are the steps necessary to
make a very unique and exciting prostitute.

1) Choose an appropriate sex for the prostitute. Randomly, there is a
80% of female prostitutes and a 20% of male prostitutes.

2) Choose an appropriate race in respects to the environment (i.e.
area, population, politics, etc.).

3) Generate ability scores as describe in your RPG system. The
prostitutes highest ability should probably be constitution.

4) Height and weight can be generated randomly using Table 3. Take the
appropriate base score and add the die roll modifier.

5) Roll on Table 4 three times to get hair color, eye color, and
complexion.

6) Age can be generated randomly using Table 5. Take the appropriate
base age and add the die roll modifier.

7) The various measurements of a women can be generated as followed:

   - Roll on Table 6 to get the vital measurement statistic.
   - To find bust size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Bust
     modifier (Table 7).
   - To find waist size, add the Vital Statistic to the proper Waist
     modifier (Table 7) .
   - To find hip size, add the Bust to the proper Hips adjustment
     (Table 7) .

   If the woman's height is below 5 feet, then modify bust and hips by
   -2.

8) The major measurement of a man is 1d4+5 inches.

9) With prostitutes can come bad things. Roll on Table 9 to decide if
anything bad comes with the prostitute. Then, roll on the appropriate
table in the appropriate section of the guide.

10) With prostitutes can come good things as well. Namely, specialties
that the buyer may really like. Roll on Table 10 to decide if anything
extra comes with the prostitute. With specialties come additional
costs. Adjustments to cost are shown on this table as well. (Cost is
calculate next.)

11) The average cost to hire a prostitute is 1000 SP / number of
prostitutes available. Thus, the average cost for a prostitute in a
town with 10 prostitutes is 100 SP each.
     Adjustments are made based on inclination. Roll on Table 10 to get
inclination with adjustments from Table 11 and Table 12. Add the
listed percent of the current cost to the current cost to get the new
cost.  Inclination is just an attitude that the prostitute has towards
the prospective client which affects the price.
     Another adjustment is made based on specialty, which was
calculated early (Table 9). Add the listed percent of the current cost
to the current cost to get the new cost.
     The last adjustment is made based on the race of the prostitute.
Multiple the multiplier from Table 13 to the current cost to get the
final cost. (NOTE: This adjustment is mainly for human settlements.  An
all dwarven settlement would have a higher demand for other creatures
then dwarves. Thus, prices for humans would probably be more.)
     Additional costs can manifest itself when patronizing a courtesan.
A player might have to spend money on a meal (they got to eat too),
alcoholic beverages (no doubt), a room (unless you like doing it in an
alley), and medical expenses (you give them a disease, you pay for it).


     Now, a nice versatile prostitute has been created, but there still
is room for improvement. Keep in mind that some prostitutes are thieves
(probably high-level) and should have such abilities. Some could even
be fighters with weapon specializations in knives and daggers. There
could even be cleric prostitutes who worship some evil deity of lust.
     The thing to remember is that a GM can use a prostitute as a very
important NPC. Prostitutes usually have information (dirt) on everybody
who passes through their beds; not to mention pillow talk info. that
shouldn't have been told. A prostitute is more interesting than the old
fat tavern keeper with old boring stories.  Keep this in mind, before
throwing out such an encounter.


TABLE 3: Height And Weight

              Height in Inches        Weight In Pounds
Race         Base*     Modifier      Base*      Modifier
Dwarf        43/41     1d10          130/105     4d10
Elf          55/50     1d10           90/70      3d10
Gnome        38/36     1d6            72/68      5d4
Half-Elf     60/58     2d6           110/85      3d12
Halfling     32/30     2d8            52/48      5d4
Human        60/59     2d10          140/100     6d10

  * Females tend to be lighter and shorter than males. Thus, the base
numbers for height and weight are divided into male/female values.
Note that the modifier will allow for a broad range in each category.


TABLE 4: Color Stats.

Die
Roll    Hair Color       Eye Color           Complexion
01-13   Brunette         Lt. Blue            Dusky Olive
14-26   Blond            Dk. Green           Bronze
27-34   Auburn           Hazel               Milky White
35-42   Sable            Brown               Ebony
43-50   Crimson          Crimson             Lt. Red
51-58   Silver           Silver              Yellow
59-67   White            Lt. Green           Brown
68-75   Sky Blue         Dk. Blue            Golden
76-83   Lt. Green        Pink                CHOOSE
84-91   Lilac            CHOOSE              CHOOSE
92-99   Iridescent       CHOOSE              CHOOSE
 00     Bald             Each Eye Diff.      CHOOSE


TABLE 5: Age

Race         Base      Modifier
Dwarf          40        5d6
Elf           100        5d6
Gnome          60        3d12
Half-Elf       15        1d6
Halfling       20        3d4
Human          15        1d4


TABLE 6: Vital Measurement Statistic

Die
Roll   Vital Stat.
01-30      22"
31-50      23"                * CONSTITUTION   V.S. MODIFIER
51-65      24"                      3-8             -2
66-77      25"                      9-12             0
78-82      26"                     13-18            +2
83-85      27"
86-90      28"
91-94      29"
95-97      30"
98-99      31"
 00        32"


TABLE 7: The Measurements

Charisma *             Bust           Waist           Hips
   3                    0             5-30"           +6d6"
  4-5                  5-8"           2-12"           +1d6"
  6-8                  6-9"           1-4"              0
  9-11                 7-10"          1-2"              0
 12-15                 8-11"           0                0
 16-17                 9-12"           0               -1"
  18                  10-12"           0               -2"

     * Optionally, you may prefer to use Comeliness rather than
Charisma since Comeliness is a better representation of beauty.


TABLE 8: Prostitute Extras

Die
Roll   Extra
01-49  Nothing
50-79  Natural Disease
80-89  Magical Disease
90-99  Insanity
 00    ROLL TWICE


TABLE 9: Specialty

Die
Roll   Specialty     Adjustment
01-49  Nothing           0
50-69  Massage         + 10%
70-79  Anal Sex        + 20%
80-89  Oral Sex        + 40%
90-97  Bondage         + 60%
98-99  Roll Twice      + 80%
 00    Roll Thrice     + 100%


TABLE 10: Inclination

Die
Roll      Inclination    Adjustment
 01       Loathe           + 100%
 02       Hate             + 75%
03-04     Dislike          + 50%
05-06     Aloof            + 25%
07-08     Sympathetic      - 30%
09-11     Interested       - 40%
12-14     Playful          - 50%
15-16     Capacious        - 60%
17-18     Fondness         - 70%
 19       Infatuation      - 80%
 20       Passionate       - 90%


TABLE 11: Disposition Modifier To Inclination

Die
Roll      Disposition  Mod.
01-02     Angry         -3
03-04     Jealous       -2
05-07     Pensive       -1
08-10     Tired          0
11-13     Tender        +1
14-15     Excited       +2
16-17     Ardent        +3
18-19     Erotic        +5
 20       Obsessed      +6


TABLE 12: Charisma Of Client Modifier To Inclination

Charisma  Mod.
  0-12     0
 13-16    +1
  17      +2
  18      +3


TABLE 13: Racial Multipliers to cost

Race           Multiplier
Human             1.0
Elven             5.0
Half-Elven        2.5
Dwarven           3.0
Halfling          4.0
Orchish           0.5
Half-Orchish      0.7
Exotic (Other)    8.0

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    FILLING THE HOUSE OF ILL REPUTE


    The information for this section is taken from the out-of-print
        The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)
              If you find this classic RPG aide, grab it.


     A brothel, bawdy house, whore house, relaxation emporium, or
whatever the name are places where a person may go for an evening of
entertainment (so to speak).

     A brothel comes in three sizes:    Size      Employees
                                        Small        4d4
                                        Medium       6d6
                                        Large        8d8

     In addition to the regular employees listed above, there will be a
number of amateurs who use a house as a base. They will usually average
50% of the regular staff of that house. There will usually be a small
number of girls in training, frequently working as maids for the top
regulars. They will number approximately 25% of the regulars - these
girls do not yet work with the customers.

     As Table 1 shows, there are four classes of brothels. The GM can
roll randomly or choose. Slavery is banned in most places, but not all;
so it is included in the table.


TABLE 1: Brothel Classes

Die
Roll      Class
01-03     Fine
04-12     Normal
13-16     Low
17-20     Slave


     House amateurs usually receive about one-half the going rate; one
does not find amateurs on a slave house. The racial mix in the average
house of its class is given on Table 2; one may either specify the race
of the girl involved (as in the rules in the prostitute random
generator), or roll dice (1d100) for each girl to see who's available.


TABLE 2: Races Found In Different Classes

Race              Fine    Normal   Low    Slave
Human             01-62   01-67   01-70   01-60
Elven             63-70   68-70    ---    61-64
Half-Elven        71-82   71-79   71-75   65-74
Dwarven           83-84    80      ---     75
Halfling           85      81      ---     76
Orchish           86-88   82-87   76-84   77-84
Half-Orchish      89-97   88-99   85-00   85-95
Exotic (Other)    98-00    00      ---    96-00


     Houses tend to be run by women, although some are managed by men
(occasionally chosen by the girls, frequently simply the "boss" who has
hired them). If run by a woman, she is usually (80%) a high rank
courtesan herself, and will occasionally be available to preferred
(wealthy - and I do mean filthy, stinkin' rich) customers.
     There are usually some additional costs involved in patronizing a
courtesan in such an establishment. Although entertainment is usually
provided at no extra cost in the major houses, a character should
expect to spend the price of the girl's meal and alcoholic beverages.
If a character should wish to spend the entire night with the lady of
his choice, the cost increase by 50%. This does, of course, provide one
with a room for the night as well as a cuddly bed companion. If a man
is dealing with one of the girls who work on the street, there is a 25%
surcharge to provide a room, unless the customer has nearby (within 2
to 3 blocks at the farthest) quarters.
     Time spent in a house can be as much as 4 to 6 hours (if not
overnight). With one of the street girls, an interlude should occupy
about 1-1/2 to 2 hours.
     The chance of a prostitute having a disease is less based on the
class of a house in which the girl works. The higher the class of the
house, the better health care the girls receive, and the lower the
chances of infection.
     In a Normal house, there is a -5% modifier to the chance of the
girl being infected. In a Fine house, there is a -10%  modifier to the
chance of the girl being infected. In a Slave house, there is a -15%
modifier to the chance of the girl being infected. This is high because
most slavers consider losing income or valuable property to disease
uneconomical. With the girls on the street, there is no modifier to the
chance of the girl being infected.



           CASE: THE BLUE TAVERN (ENTERTAINMENT AND PLEASURE)


    The information for this section is taken from the out-of-print
        The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.)
              If you find this classic RPG aide, grab it.


                            The Blue Tavern
                      (Entertainment and pleasure)

OWNER: Kinalla Silkskin (STR: 9, DEX: 9, CON: 15, INT: 12, WIS: 9, CHA:
12) was once considered the most beautiful and accomplished courtesan
in the city (40 years ago). She is still attractive (particularly for
the generic set), and will occasionally entertain a customer. Black-
haired (with the help of a good hairdresser), black-eyed, and still
slender, she has a good business mind, and succeed in purchasing the
Blue Lantern from its former madame some 20 years ago; the quality and
name of the establishment have increased under her management.

HOURS: 24 hours a day.

EXTERIOR: A three-story building that is slightly inset from the street
proper. It has a wide opening centered on the ground floor, above which
hangs a large lantern which glows blue (the color is intense enough to
be easily distinguished even in full daylight). There is an ally on the
south side  of the building, a walled garden in the rear, and a row of
small shops to the immediate north.

INTERIOR: Immediately inside the opening is a spacious room dominated
by a fountain which sprays a lightly scented blue liquid into the air
above the wide basin. Three elaborately carved screens block the view
of the other exits from this room.
     Behind the screen to the left is a lounge (to handle the musicians
and entertainers who perform in the theater). A hall leads to the wings
of the theater, and to a dressing room. To the right is a large office,
where the accounting and management personnel work. It is seldom
occupied after about 6:00 PM, and is almost always locked, even during
normal business hours.
     The opening behind the third screen leads to a room with a wide
marble staircase. To the left is the "Hall of Beauty".. where many fair
flowers wait to be plucked. There are usually 4d4 girls lounging about
here, in various states of revealment. A wide opening leads to the
entertainment area, where wine and song are provided (if you came
through the Hall, you already have the women). The theater area is two
stories, and has a large stage with a runway and an orchestra pit.  A
long bar in the rear dispenses alcoholic beverages of many kinds.
Meals may be ordered from the kitchen. Most of the food supplies for
both the girls and the customers are stored in the pantry off the
kitchen.
     The remainder of the house is devoted to living (and working)
quarters for the regular girls. The smaller rooms on the second and
third floors are used for the transient entertainment of clients. The
larger rooms area housing for the regulars. Kinalla has a suite on the
third floor, with a circular iron staircase giving access to both the
garden and the bar.

PRICE RANGE: As per the girl's qualifications.

QUALITY: This house is Fine, and of medium size.

OUTSTANDING ITEMS: There is young newcomer, Bianca (STR: 8, DEX: 10,
CON: 18, INT: 9, WIS: 7, CHA: 15), who has made quite a splash with the
customers. She is the runaway daughter of a noble family and is a
neutral courtesan. She has altered her name and dyed her hair to change
her appearance.

CASH BOX: The money gained in the theater-bar is kept in a wooden
coffer stashed under the curved end of the bar. The girls are
responsible for collecting their own earnings, and are expected to pay
one-quarter to the house (if Kinalla discovers a girl is cheating on
the amounts, she simply requests her to leave and not return; Kinalla
does not believe in violence).

OCCUPANTS:

Staff: Kinalla, Bianca, and 17 other girls (11 of whom split the large
rooms used for residence). There are 12 part-timers, 3 maidens-in-
training, and various ancillary service personnel (none of whom reside
in the house). The bouncer, Kethelas (STR: 17, DEX: 14, CON: 11, INT:
10, WIS: 7, CHA: 10), a bull of a man with sufficient physical power to
toss an unruly customer lightly over the garden wall into the alley,
has worked at the Blue Lantern as long as Kinalla, and has been her
best friend and lover nearly that long.

Customers: Many.

NPC ENCOUNTERS: A cast of thousands.

SPECIAL OPTIONS: None.

SCENARIO: The Nobleman's Daughter

Player's Information: In most of the taverns of the city, the
disappearance of Lady Byelaya Tainley some three months ago caused many
whispers. She still has not been located, and no ransom note has been
received by her family. Descriptions of the 16 year old girl (very
beautiful and highly attractive, medium height, slender, blonde hair,
blue eyes) have been nosed about, and the family is offering a reward
of 1,000 silver pieces for news of her. The girl was always known as a
loner by the other maidens of the high, rich quarter. She had only one
close friend - Cortina de la Riis.

GM's Notes: Byelaya Tainley has had dreams of being a hetaera (a very
high class courtesan) since she heard, as young girl, a very romantic
story in which the heroine was a courtesan (she had confided these
dreams to no one, not even her closet friend). Three months ago, she
dyed her hair brown, changed her name to Bianca, and ran away from
home. She began working at the Blue Lantern. No one at the house knows
her origins, and certainly no one suspects she is the daughter of a
noble house. Bianca (byelaya - both names mean "white") is a natural
courtesan - she enjoys men, and men definitely enjoy her. She has that
indefinable quality of innocence that is irresistible. She has rapidly
progressed, in the little time she has been at the Blue Lantern, from a
very green novice to a competent intermediate.
     A few weeks ago, Cortina de la Riis, Byelaya's only close friend
among the girls of the rich section, was traveling to her voice lessons
and spotted a young girl with brown hair who closely resembled Byelaya
(Bianca had gone out to do a little shopping, and was not wearing her
veil) except for the hair color. Cortina has worried about Byelaya
since her disappearance, and has asked her brother Thomas to check out
the girl she spotted circumspectly. Thomas is looking around for a
group to do some investigating on this matter, and there is a chance he
may choose the player-characters to do the job.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    ENCOUNTER NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS


                                Specific

Kuber Hasbin: Note that the information for this section is taken from
The Free City Of Haven (Copyrighted 1981 Gamelords Ltd.) page L-2.
     Kuber lives and works in the deepest wilds of the city. His house
includes a clinic in which he treats anyone who walks in the door (he
has even been known to make house calls!), regardless of financial
status (there ain't none in his part of town). Kuber doesn't practice
healing for the love of mankind (or any other race, for that matter).
He is totally interested in the spectrum of disease available in the
area. At times he has been heard to comment that he has "seen diseases
I would not have believed it possible for a person to contract. With
what this one man had, he should have been dead 5 years ago!" Kuber's
house is given an unobtrusive guard by the Thieves' Guild, who
appreciate the work he is doing, whatever his motivation. Anyone in the
quarter can give directions to Kuber's House.


Cindy Wind Rider

Elf Female 5th Level Priest of the elven goddess of love and beauty

Homeworld: Any but she was created for Planes

Faction: The Society of Sensation

S: 10, I: 10, W: 16, C: 14, D: 16, Ch: 18, L: 9; AL: CN (she follows
the bitch rule); htk: 26; To Hit: 18; #AT: 1; Dmg: Weapon

Age: 26  Height: 1.63m (62 in)  Weight: 56Kg (114 lb)
Hair: Black with a silver strip  Eyes: Light Blue

Granted Powers:
     level 1  - friends
     level 2  - Charm person (only on males)
     level 7  - +1 on Charisma
     level 10 - Can make philter of love 1/week.

Requirements of Priesthood:
     - Weapon skill in bow, net, staff, mace, sling, mancatcher
     - Armor of leather or chain-mail
     - Spheres: all, charm, creation, guardian, healing, necromantic,
       plant, protection, sun, wards*, weather*; (* minor access)

Psionic Wild Talent: Sexual Pheromones Secretion (Con-4, 9, 6/round)
PSP: 48

Weapon Skills: Long Bow, Staff

Nonweapon Skills: Singing, Dancing, Religion, Healing, Seduction,
Sexual Knowledge, Massage, Fast Talking, Fortune Telling, Herbalism,
Riding.

Preferred Spells: Cure Light Wounds (1), Bless (1), Cause Fear (1),
Camouflage (2), Music of Spheres (2), Hold Person (2), Charm Person or
Mammal (2), Bestow Curse (3), Magical Vestment (3).

Role-playing notes: The priest must always give shelter and succor to
young lovers.


Cindy Wind Rider (version 2)

Elf Female 5th Level Battle Dancer (Fighter / Water Cleric)

Homeworld: Any but she was created for the Sun World

Tribe: Wind Dancer

S: 11, I: 10, W: 16, C: 15, D: 18, Ch: 19, L: 9; AL: CN (she follows
the bitch rule); htk: 38; To Hit: 16; #AT: 2 (two elven bone long
swords); Dmg: 1d8 (+1 when dancing)

Age: 18  Height: 2.00m (75 in)  Weight: 70Kg (138 lb)
Hair: Black with a silver strip  Eyes: Light Blue

Special Benefits: Battle Dancers can attack with two weapons without
penalties. With a successful use of dancing skill she receives a
additional +1 attack/damage/armor class bonus.

Special Hindrances: If she fails her dancing skill roll she
receives a -1 penalty for 1d8 rounds.

Granted Powers: Ignore Water, Water Breathing, Healing Draft, Body of
Water, Turn Undead

Psionic Wild Talent: Sexual Pheromones Secretion (Con-4, 9, 6/round)
PSP:48

Weapon Skills: Long Sword, Long Bow

Nonweapon Skills: Blind Fighting, Dancing, Religion, Healing,
Seduction, Singing, Sexual Knowledge, Massage, Fast Talking, Fortune
Telling, Spellcraft.

Preferred Spells: Cure Light Wounds (1), Create Water (1), Cause Fear
(1), Speak With Water (2), Crystallize (2), Hold Person (2), Charm
Person or Mammal (2), Bestow Curse (3), Magical Vestment (3).

Role-Playing Notes: No one impersonate the elven independent spirit as
perfectly as Cindy Wind Rider. As many Sun elves she is always in a
rush, figuratively and literally racing to stay in the now. She rarely
makes plans or thinks about the future. She wants to live every moment
in an expressive joy. She will love, play, sing, dance and tries to
enjoy herself in every moment. She will love with no obligations or
promises, just an intense, unrestrained and overflowing love. She will
refuse to think or plane beyond the now. She is very moody and normally
surprises everybody with her actions.
     She is very inconsequent, but without any malice or evil
intentions. In a certain point of view she is very innocent. She is
very beautiful and she knows how to use her beauty. She is a great
dancer and singer and she will prefer tunes of sadness and love. Her
dances are extremely seductive and no male will forget after catching
even a brief glimpse of her captivating moves.
     She normally dresses few clothes and tries to enhance her
seductiveness and she is particular vulnerable to beautiful gems.
Anytime a male gives her a jewel she must roll in Moods & Attitudes
table with a +2 bonus (see Cindy's table bellow).

Die
Roll  Moods & Attitudes
 1    furious, hate or extremely depressed or stressed
 2    pissed off, vengeful, cruel
 3    self-pity, unhelpful, brooding, pessimistic
 4    depressed, sullen, feeling inadequate, pessimistic
 5    vain, proud, lazy, bored, omnipotent feeling
 6    restless, impatient, takes control, urge to get on with
 6    playful, energetic, daring, foolhardy, practical joker
 7    happy, cheerful, optimistic, helpful, friendly
 8    desperate lover, in love, passionate, fiery, enthusiastic,
      nymphomaniac

     She is a very funny character to play and sometime she will create
very interesting and funny situations. One of the best stories was when
she was in a city with a party. She went out with one of the party
members (another female) and decide to go to the elven market at night.
It is obvious that two beautiful women walking alone at night in a poor
district, cannot pass without problems. When a thief gets her in the
neck and starts threaten her, She chose to start her wild talent
"trying to attract some help" in her words. Imagine her face when she
rolls a power score (look the power below). Her friend could run away
when everybody on street starts fighting for her. And this was not the
end, three guys could run out with her. They carry her to a poor house
and you can imagine what would happen.  Her luck was that her friend
could call the entirely party and they run to try to save her.
     The party's ranger uses his wild talent (animal affinity) to get
the olfactory abilities of a tigone, trying to improve his tracking
skills. (He doesn't know about her wild talent and the player didn't
realize what will happen.) Thus, he suffers the same effects of the
burglars but he was able to find her quickly. Then a furious half-
tigone jump over the three thieves before they could do any damage. And
again, this was not the end, when the party arrives she is still
maintaining her psionic power. I (the DM) try to minimize the problem
allowing everybody to roll a save against the power.  My remedy doesn't
help, because everybody fails the save (6 members). So, the party
members start to fight each other.
     The end was not less fun, the party's preserver cast hypnotic
pattern and again everybody fails the save, so, he get her, cast an
invisibility spell on her, and run back to the inn. At this time she
went out of PSP and the power stops but the preserver doesn't. They had
an affair (and, one week after, the players became boy and girlfriend).
In the next day she rolls and 8 on attitude and fall in love to him.
     Some days later, she lost her interest on him and starts looking
for another one, saying "Why couldn't I love two guys at the same time?
Or maybe three ..." (no problems with the players, they are going well
and she will not try this argument in real life). The affair stops
there, the preserver is lawful good and didn't like the idea. We really
enjoy the mess, nobody could stop laughing, but she is afraid of using
the power again.


                                General

Midwife: This encounter is with a solitary female, whose job it is to
deliver babies. The midwife will be returning from a delivery or going
to one (in which case she will be in a hurry).
     She will only react in a friendly manner if she is approached with
great caution. She will flee on an adjusted reaction score of 55 or
less, and on a score of 25 or less she seek the help of a patrol to
apprehend the offenders who "scared" her (whether they actually did or
not).
     There is a 20% chance that the midwife will possess useful
information, which she will freely divulge to party members if she is
befriended first. She will be offended by an offer to pay her for what
she knows.

Prostitute: NOTE that this encounter was taking from an old adventure
and contradicts other prostitute information that is found in this
guide.
     This encounter is a one or more women (can be men for women
adventurers).  The GM must decide the number relative to population,
law, underworld activity, etc..
     A prostitute will be somewhat annoying trying to convince her prey
that she is desirable. If she succeeds, her fee is usually between 20
and 100 SP.
     There is a 75% chance that a prostitute will possess valuable
information. Such information requires a fee of course. There is also a
25% chance that the prostitute has a disease (natural or magical).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                     PORNO PERIODICALS OF HUMANOIDS


     Low-intelligent beings have an obsession with smut. They love to
purchase and look at pornographic periodicals. Player character's can
come across such periodicals in humanoid housing, a seedy magazine
stand, a gross conquered enemy, etc.. These periodicals need a name and
the following system gives a periodical a name:

1) Roll 2d10 on a Table 1 to get the race that created the periodical.
The writing (if any) in the periodical will be of the preferred
language of the race.

2) To get the name of the periodical:

     - Roll 1d30 on Table 2 to get an adjective. You may roll more than
       once if desired.
     - Roll 1d20 on Table 3 to get an noun.

   Thus, a roll of 4 and a roll of 14 would produce Jiggling Hooters.
But this isn't good enough for the old GM, so he rolls for another
adjective and gets a 25 Oily Jiggling Hooters. And the roll from step 1
reveals that Orcs created this periodical. Thus, we have Oily Jiggling
Hooters of Orcs.


TABLE 1: Humanoid Creators

Die                      Die
Roll  Humanoid           Roll  Humanoid
  2   Bugbear             12   Drow Elf
  3   Gully Dwarf         13   Ettin
  4   Gnoll               14   Goblin
  5   Hag                 15   Half-Orc
  6   Harpy               16   Human
  7   Hill Giant          17   Hobgoblin
  8   Kobold              18   Lizard Man
  9   Mongrelman          19   Orc
 10   Ogre                20   Troglodyte
 11   Were-Rat


TABLE 2: Adjectives

Die
Roll  Adjective          Roll  Adjective          Roll  Adjective
  1   Arousing            11   Big                 21   Delectable
  2   Erotic              12   Fleshly             22   Greasy
  3   Hard                13   Hefty               23   Hors d'oeuvre
  4   Jiggling            14   Juicy               24   Large
  5   Luscious            15   Moist               25   Oily
  6   Profuse             16   Savory              26   Scrumptious
  7   Sensual             17   Slimy               27   Sticky
  8   Stimulating         18   Succulent           28   Sumptuous
  9   Swollen             19   Tantalizing         29   Tender
 10   Titillating         20   Voluptuous          30   Warted


TABLE 3: Nouns

Roll  Noun               Roll  Noun
  1   Balls               11   Bolas
  2   Butts               12   Caves
  3   Clubs               13   Dungeons
  4   Holes               14   Hooters
  5   Jugs                15   Knockers
  6   Lingerie            16   Mounds
  7   Pits                17   Rods
  8   Staves              18   Strongholds
  9   Stuff               19   Swords
 10   Wands of Wonder     20   Wonkers


     A typical periodical may contain perverse artwork, Q&As, forum,
advice column, letters, or raunchy stories. They are not necessary
created on printing presses. They can be hand-written or drawn by
scribes or artists. The lower intelligent beings are so primitive they
usually have clumps of scrolls with their perversion on them. The key
for success with this system is for the GM to think. How intelligent
are the authors?  What resources do they possess? What is believable
and realistic? This isn't a detailed system, it is merely guidelines to
stimulate creative thought in the GM.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                             SEXIST QUOTES


     Unfortunately, many characters (usually make) find it necessarily
to say derogatory, sexist things to others. Below is presented a list
of these things. Most are geared toward woman but this is
unintentional.  When searching and asking for quotes from various
sources, that is what turned up. These quotes are not intended to
offend anybody. They are fun and entertainment.
     A percentile table is given if a GM wishes to get random quotes.


 TABLE A: Quotes

01-02  A drunk wench is fair game.
03-04  Aghast that's not a girl its a harpy.
05-06  Ah! A magical dildo.
07-08  'Ello, you don't know me, but I've been watchin' you.
09-10  Gruel oozes from her twat.
11-12  Her words say "No", my dagger says "Yes".
13-14  Her hole is bigger than the astral plane.
15-16  His lance is bigger than mine.
17-18  Honestly constable, her tunic was open.
19-20  I bought her venison, she owes me.
21-22  I'd like to put my sword in her scabbard.
23-24  I love the salty taste of the mermaid twat.
25-26  I said use your hand, not your hand axe.
27-28  I'll slay your dragon for ya.
29-30  I'll try anything once; twice if it hurts.
31-32  I'm going to crank on the wench.
33-34  It must be nice to have magical protection.
35-36  Lets do it like the fairy folk.
37-38  Loot the village...Ravage the women...Burn the crops...
39-40  Now I know why its called a bonesnapper.
41-42  She likes to do it gorgon-style.
43-44  She was asking for it dressed in that alluring plate mail.
45-46  The horse needs rest, lets move into the dark woods.
47-48  The mermaid smells like fish.
49-50  The women, how much for the women?
51-52  There's one of her, and five of us. Heh, Heh, Heh!
53-54  Trust me babe.
55-56  Two bits for your woman, five bits for your horse.
57-58  Where does the mermaid hide her vagina?
59-60  Why do child-bearers carry weapons?
61-62  Wonder bitch there? She's just a blond and brainless slut!
63-00 REROLL

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                                TIDBITS


THE BOBITT MANEUVER

     The Bobitt Maneuver requires a character who gets a minimum of two
attacks every other round. First, the character must make a called shot
(-4 penalty) with a sharp weapon to remove pants (robe, tunic, etc.).
On the second attack of the round, the character must make a called
shot (-6 penalty do to difficulty) to slice the penis off.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                             AN ABYSS LEVEL


     The smells of incense, perfume, and oily naked body's are thick in
the air as you enter this Abyssal layer. The layer itself encompasses a
massive palace that stretches far and wide, beyond the imagination.
This layer, is the home of the unholy Queen of all Succubi and Incubi,
Silviana. Being the demon princess of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy this layer
is filled with countless thousands upon thousands of succubi and incubi
engrossed with every conceivable sexual act. The halls of this palace
are all lined with beautiful slaves whose bodies have been painted
gold, and their sexual organs made to be on display for all to see as
the slaves are forced to stand in erotic positions, living statues for
their demon princess. This plane gives new meaning to the idea of
torturous pleasure, as the lust and desires of any slave or demon upon
this plane will rarely, if ever, go satisfied for any significant
period of time. Demons and monstrosities populate this plane by the
thousands, but each one is always deceptively beautiful, their purpose
being to seduce all intruders and slaves into their service. The
pheromones that permeate this layer are such that any mortal who enters
must make a save verses poison each hour at -3, or their lustful desire
will become so strong that they will stop what they are doing and race
to join the nearest orgy within the layer (since they are so many going
on all the time, one shouldn't be far). Characters with a high wisdom
or willpower will get certain bonuses against the save, at the GM's
discretion.
     It is rumored that demons and daemons from all over frequent this
layer constantly when they have a chance to pursue personal pleasures.



Silviana
Demon Prince(ess) of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy
Queen of Succubi and Incubi
Lesser God(dess)

Movement: 12"
AC: -5
Hits to Kill: 69 (16 die)
To Hit: 5
Number of Attacks: 1
Damage per attack: special
Special Attacks : see below
Special Defences: see below
Magic Resistance: 50%
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Symbol: figurines of men and women in erotic positions
Plane: the Abyss (the Layer of Lust, Sex, and Sodomy)
Psionics: nil
Experience: (use normal charts of system to calculate)
Str: 18  Dex: 20  Con: 23  Int: 21  Wis: 16  Cha: 25 Com: 30

     The Queen of this layer herself will always appear in a form that
can spark the most wanton abandon of lust and sexual desire possible in
her victims minds. However her true form is slightly different. Being
the fact that she represents all spheres of immoral sexual desire, the
Queen is, in her true form, a bisexual hermaphrodite. She is really
neither female or male, but both, however because from the known
accounts by sages and wizards who have some knowledge of Silviana, she
is referred to as a female because she has appeared as one more often
than a male by most tales. Even in her true form her aura of lust and
sex is enough to cause any man or woman to have hard problems
controlling their sexual desire for Silviana.
     Silviana is the queen of all Succubi and Incubi, and her home
plane is a palace filled with them, all constantly in the acts of
immortal sex. When confronting victims or intruders, Silviana always
takes on the guise of an extremely beautiful woman (or man) that brings
out the most possible desire in her victims. Her true form is no less
beautiful. Being a hermaphrodite, Silviana has soft creamy skin, long
golden hair, and sky blue eyes. Silviana's body is a perfect meld of
male and female quality's, almost to the point where, except for the
very desirably sized and shaped sex organs, one might be mistaken that
Silviana is simply a masculine looking female. When confronting a
victim, Silviana will switch to either, only her female characteristics
or her male characteristics. Anyone who gazes upon Silviana when in
either form, must make an automatic save verses petrifaction (at -3, -6
if on the home plane of the demon) or be overcome by such a massive
amount of sexual desire that they will drop all they are doing and
immediately prostrate themselves naked before her/him. Note: if a
character in the party has expressed they do not have a sexual desire
for Silviana's present choice of form (stated at the time of the save,
GM's keep record of what they say) they must  (still make a normal
save, no minus). Silviana's sexual pheromones are so powerful that they
can alter the personality and characteristics of a character to desire
to engage in sex that would otherwise be not normal for them!
Appropriate bonus's (up to the GM) can be awarded to characters who
have expressed characteristics that might be helpful in combating
Silviana's charm.
     When Silviana physically attacks (she rely's more on her charm
than actually having to attack someone) she will attempt to strike
someone, anyone so struck will be drained of one level (including all
hit points gained for that level, spells, etc.). If Silviana has
charmed someone and decides to attack them, she will kiss them. Her
kiss, being exceptionally deadly, will drain 3 levels from a victim.
Anyone who is completely drained by Silviana is doomed to serve as a
pleasure slave for her, for all eternity.
     Silviana can summon 2-8 Succubi (Incubi) at will, or 1-4 of any
other type of demon. As for her relations with other demon lords and
princes, they remain neutral in all situations being the fact that all
the other lords like spending their vacations on her plane...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           ADVENTURING IDEAS


                             The Love Boat

     The player characters book passage on a magic-flying luxury cruise
ship nicknamed "The Love Boat" for a relaxing time in the clouds. On
the ship, the PCs encounter the crew: Captain Stubing, "Gopher", "Doc",
Isiac, Julie McCoy. Also, they encounter loads of interesting people
and plenty of opportunities to use the rules and stuff that are
presented in the guide.

                          Dog Man Needs A Date

     An uncharismatic man hires the PCs to help him attain the
affection of a lovely maiden. This allows great opportunity for role-
playing, which includes buying new clothes for him, teaching him how to
act, etc.. Problems could arise if the maiden falls in love with one of
the PCs. Also, the maiden could have a large fighter boyfriend who
could be really angry.

                                 Twins

     A PC seduces a very beautiful nice willing person. The following
day, the PC meets the twin who is mean, bad, and boring. This could
lead to nice effects.

                            Paternity Suite

     After returning with the spoils of a great adventure, a male
character is confronted with a paternity suit from a fair lass who he
was promiscuous with only a few months ago.

                          Vampire & Seduction

     The party is on some sort of extended vacation, staying in an
inn/bar. A frequent visitor is a tall, dark, suave, charming man
dressed in formal evening wear, accompanied by a different woman every
time. He comes in every 2nd or 3rd night. He always orders bloody marys
and doesn't drink them. He is quite wealthy and very pleasant. There is
something almost magnetic about him. He has fascinating eyes. (GM
should do everything he can to make it believable that he could be a
vampire, despite the unusual setting (city).
     Either he charms (seduction) a female party member and takes her
away, or a beautiful dancer comes in looking for her missing sister,
who was last seen coming to this bar with the tall dark gentleman. She
tries to convince a party member to help her look for her sister being
seductive about it. Both are eventually charmed by the Gentleman. In
any case, make a party member disappear into this Gentleman's lair.
     He has a gothic style house in a nice part of town.  There is
nothing obviously amiss here. If the party asks around, this guy is a
pillar of society, a kind, philanthropic fellow, well respected by his
peers. He runs a magic shoppe. He is a mid-level wizard with a head for
business, who gave up adventuring to start a business.
     His house looks just like a vampires house might look (black
velvet curtains, etc).  He has a private sanctuary inn his basement,
the only entrance to which is a rune-encrusted door (trapped or
enchanted in any way appropriate to the party).  He supposedly has a
chapel down there, but really has a large complex, where various
vampiric rituals, and all-night parties take place. All of the missing
people have been charmed into believing that they have been turned into
slave vampires. They will aid their master if at all possible.
     The party must break in and forcibly take their companion away
from this place. Again, make the evidence somewhat contradictory
whether the Gentleman is a vampire or not. Most evidence should say
yes, but make some things contradict this.
     The gentleman has a cursed ring of the vampire, a powerful evil
artifact which makes him believe he is a vampire and gives him many of
the powers of a vampire, as well as some of the drawbacks.  Make him
dislike things that cause a vampire harm, but don't make it obvious
whether is works. Make him have a reflection, but have a dead vampire
victim show up, etc.. At the end, have the party realize that he is not
a vampire at all but rather is a cursed fellow with an intrinsically
good nature.



                ESSAY: WHAT IF A CHARACTER RAPES A NPC?


     This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a
Internet RPG discussion. The thoughts written here are not necessarily
those of any one person. Many points of view went into this essay.

     In reality, rape usually involves great physical injury, but rape
is much more than the infliction of physical pain. Rape affects the
victim psychologically and spiritually as well something a mere cut (no
matter how big) does not have.
     Is rape nothing more than a different form combat? When one person
rapes another, what the rapist is doing is degrading the victim. Even
foes that hate each other have at least a grudging respect for each
other. If they lose that respect, they run the risk of being killed
because they have underestimated their opponent. Rape shows a total
lack of respect and decency. Rape is a one way thing that combat is
not.
     From a Christian perspective, people were made by God to relate to
each other with love; it's easy to see that rape is one of the greatest
violations of this design specification, considering that sex is, in
its natural state, one of the most intimate ways that two people can
relate to each other and express their love for one another.
     In RPGs, the physical side of things can be changed with the use
of spells, potions, etc.; but not the mental and spiritual side. Even
if a female character (whether PC or NPC) were to have her virginity
restored do to magic, there is no way one could consider her to be a
virgin any more. Because virginity is not only physical state but a
mental and spiritual one as well. Technically, a male doesn't change
physically after having sex as a woman does. Once that innocence and
purity has been lost, it cannot be regained. That is why it is so
valuable.
     In most modern fantasy literature, rape exists but only as a major
plot device. However, In ancient fantasy literature, and in historical
fact, the situation is more complex. The Greek gods had not-entirely-
consensual sex with mortal women quite often, but they usually employed
deception rather than brute force; and the result was usually a child
with strange powers, rather than a revolt against the god. Until
recently, a man who had non-consensual sex with his wife or his female
slave would not have been considered a rapist. Victorious armies would
"rape and pillage" as the normal behavior for conquering. So if the GM
basing his campaign with historical accuracy, than rape as a plot
device might be accepted.
     When rape does appear in an RPG, it is most likely because the GM
and/or players are immature. Sure some players like to introduce sex
into their campaign, usually humorously. Albeit a lot of people who use
sex in RPGs are immature and acting out juvenile fantasies, some
players can handle the use of sex in RPGs constructively. However, rape
is not humorous nor constructive. Immature players are often treating
the topic to casually. Mature players are more familiar with rape and
think about it before taking it lightly. The topic should be given some
form of respect.
     Having rape in an RPG might be a good plot device if used by the
mature GM in an adventure. The real trouble of rape in a RPG arises
when a character wishes to indulge in such a horrible act.
     Rape is not the way to solve a problem, even if it is only a game.
There are always other options, instead of implementing one that
definitely isn't funny, and could also disturb the players. Taking this
course of action, no matter how chaotic a campaign, is probably not a
good idea and the GM might wish to take serious action on the character
that performs such an act.
     Remember, a player would never think of having a character perform
an act of rape on an NPC if the NPC was male. A male NPC would just be
beat-up quite easily and rape wouldn't be considered. So why is it that
somebody will suggest such a course of action if the NPC is a female?
Well because it can be done is not a good enough reason; nor because it
will shut her up is a reason.
     Many gamers play RPG's to escape from the horrors of the real
world. Role-playing games are suppose to be fun but abominations like
rape ruin the fun. There is little reason to bring that sort of graphic
violence into the game; especially from a player-character. Most game
sessions are played with enough problem solving that they can be
enjoyed perfectly well without the wrong-type of violence.
     Also, using such violence in the game sounds as if such a hideous
act as rape is being condoned. Without judging the player, the player's
reasons for such "role-playing" could be dealt with outside the game
session so as not to cause to much trouble.
     Remember, rape is a very disturbing, terrifying subject for women.
Having such a thing in a RPG, even though it is a game, might keep
women from playing the game. Women provide a very wonderful and unique
outlook in RPGs and they would be missed.
     As a general rule, dragons and swords are not an expected means of
death in the real world. Nor does anybody anticipate ever meeting
Cthulhu or Tiamat. Death is something that can happen to anyone at any
time realistically as well as in the realm of RPGs. But rape is an act
of cruelty and unmitigated evil which is also a violation of not only
the body but of the mind. It also has a deeply personal affect the real
world in that it is a danger that all must face, if not for ourselves,
then for our wives, sisters, daughters, and other family and friends. A
very real danger that makes most people feel uncomfortable to discuss.
     The bottom line is that RPGs are supposed to be fun for everyone
playing. For a lot of people, it puts them in a medieval setting where
they can be what they want and do what they want. It lets them escape
reality for a little while and leave problems behind. How realistic
does an RPG need to be? Does it have to mimic the real-world so
closely? Don't bring in one of woman's greatest fears into the game.
It isn't necessary.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


            ESSAY: HAS ANYONE PLAYED A HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTER?


     This essay was derived from a conversation of the topic on a
Internet RPG discussion list. The thoughts written here are not
necessarily those of any one person. Many points of view went into this
essay. Also, the validity of statements made is not known.


                    "I've never played one, but..."

    "We're not gay, not that there's anything wrong with being gay."


     The "Army of Lovers" (i.e. exclusively homosexual company of
soldiers) was something out of the ancient Greek city-states. There was
only one city-state, Thebes, where being gay was a "requirement" if you
wished to become a soldier. This was not a strict requirement, but was
considered highly advantageous. It was reported to be (by writers in
other city states) to be one of the most effective armies at the time.
The unit was called the Thebian Sacred Band, and they served under
Alexander. They worked in buddy teams: a spear-men and a shield man.
They were renown for their extreme closeness, fierceness, and
efficiency in battle (esp. if their lover was killed!)
     Note, that in Sparta, all male children were raised up by the
state, trained to be soldiers, the menial work was left to the
"helotas" (slaves). They had male companionship for most of the time,
so that is why their sexual interests were different. In Sparta,
homosexuality was accepted, but not like it was in Thebes. Spartans had
more of a Roman respect for women.
     That's not to say that romantic involvement, or even long-term
relationships weren't common between soldiers in the other city-states.
It had a lot to do with the inequality of women, and their place, in
ancient Greek society. In ancient Greece, women were considered
inferior to men. Not quite (but almost) property. Certainly not
something a person would want to spend lots of quality time with. The
most common opinion of women was that they were good for one thing -
having babies. If a man had to have sex for that, well, that's one of
the things a dutiful husband did. But if you wanted a relationship,
passionate sex, someone you could talk with afterwards, men were where
it was at (although this is a bit exaggerated).
     It was common practice in upper-crust Athenian society for young
boys to be "taken in" by an older gentleman, who would become the
youth's mentor and also lover. This was considered a healthy
upbringing.
      From what remained of the Greek literature, it is obvious that
women were more often that subject of male sexual desire, than men.
After all, it was a women (Helena) the Spartans fought for a couple of
decades with the Trojans, according to Homeros. Odusseus and his
soldiers were tempted several times by females, on his journey to home,
and it was a female (his wife) he wanted to return so badly, and this
female was courted by many - noble - males, and he got so mad when he
saw this that he wiped out all those males because of one female.
     Now, in Rome things were not quite the same. The Romans held a
similar low opinion of women. Not quite as low, but it was down there.
Women were considered eminently suitable for sex. Discussion,
companionship, camaraderie, were all still male-oriented, but women
were considered capable of satisfying the purely physical needs. That's
not to say that there was anything wrong with having sex with a man. As
long as you were on top. Screwing a guy was manly; being screwed was
effeminate, shameful. Caesar came under fire several times, not because
of his numerous affairs with men, but because he liked to be on the
bottom. However, although it is true that women had their strict rule
in the society, they were not supposed to mingle in politics, and so
on. But those that read "Antigone" from Sophokles will see that they
were not thought of as domestic animals. Or even worse, women were
considered property to be used for the reason of reproduction and
personal gain for a family.
     Most Romans were very touchy on the issue of homosexuality. If one
wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright as long as one were a closet
homosexual. If one were open, one could pretty much kiss any chance of
a political life good bye! Nero was the Emperor, and could crush his
enemies. If he wanted to be a homosexual, it was alright cause he had
power. Romans believed that men should have women, and the women should
be subservient to men. If one wanted to have another man, go ahead,
just don't tell anyone!
     It wasn't brought up in Glory of Rome, but actually Julius
Caesar's Tenth Legion had a slight reputation for being Caesar's
"favorite" legion.
     Both societies were very male oriented, which is why there is
little writing about lesbians at the time (though it was there).
     In a typical European setting, homosexuality would certainly be
frowned upon. This does not, of course, mean that there aren't any
homosexuals running around - just that they are secretive, repressed,
etc..
      One can't deny that homosexuality was widespread before the
advent of Christianity, but it was considered as an alternative only,
not the necessarily the way. In any case, there is no need to make an
issue with homosexuality in a campaign, but having various sexual
orientations can really make for interesting adventures.
     For example, a nobleman's gay lover vanishes or is captured -
perhaps to be used against him. So he hires a group of discreet
adventures to deal with the situation.
      In the Thieves' World books, there are a group of mercenaries
known as "Sacred Banders". They appear to be male couples who are
excellent fighting teams (it is assumed that they shared the same
tents, and did certain things... but they didn't go into it). They are
supposedly based on some historical Athenian units, or some such thing.
     On one campaign world, which has evolved to cover many continents
and cultures, there is a whole spectrum of sexual attitudes. In some
cultures, homosexuality is not frowned upon, and is indeed considered
to be normal. There is even an island based upon an Aztec legend where
there are only women. They are ruled by priestesses who is divinely
enabled to brew a potion which will impregnate a woman.
     One adventuring party spent a long time travelling with a pirate
named Dalin and first mate, Shandar. The two guys were clearly best
friends who had been adventuring together for many years. The party was
always impressed with how close they were. The group never even
suspected the truth.
     And now a small exert about a strange character:

     "Hendrix is an old, ugly, gnome illusionist. He is lawful
evil, and his goal is to have sex with as many different people/things
as possible. He wants them willing and alive, but he'll take them by
force if necessary. He's also fond of guile.
     He has a ring of polymorph self and a couple of other trinkets
he's acquired along the way. Whenever he starts a new adventure he
joins the adventuring party in disguise. Most of the disguises are
helped out by his trinkets, but some of them aren't even plausible.
Yet, somehow they keep getting accepted, though. Some examples are
Dorien Wolfride a female halfling ranger, Noli of Clan Ironfoots male
dwarf wizard (he can't cast spells but fakes it), Honeysuckle
Rapevictimson a male half-orc paladin.
     Hendrix is actually doing quite well in his mission.
Unfortunately, the other adventurers are rabid heterosexuals, so
Hendrix has only attempted hetero seduction. He can't wait to see their
faces when he's found out."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                    PLOTS FOR HOMOSEXUAL CHARACTERS


The Gay Man and the Jealous Wife

     Have some important married person (maybe nobility) fall in love
with one of the characters. This should be a "from afar" affection
originally. Then when the man's wife finds out about it, she could do a
couple things. First, try to have the character killed off, so she can
keep her husband. Or, she could try to frame the character as being a
succubus (or similar) in disguise. Using the theory that her husband
COULDN'T be gay, since he married her, hence the character must be
using magic or something. Either way, when the wife first begins this
stuff, the character should be unaware of the man's feelings, and be
tasked with finding out what the lady has against him (the whole party
could be affected too).
        A variant of this could be a gay couple, where one falls for
the character and the other wants the PC dead.


Saying No

    A very beautiful women begins making appearances (could be an
adventurer) when the party is in town. Initially, she's just friendly
towards the party, then little by little it becomes apparent that she's
interested in the homosexual. One option, the party must tell her and
convince her she's got no chance with him. The character could tell
her, and who knows how she'll react when she finds out. Probably,
initial rage or disgust, but up to this point, the party should have
been getting the impression that she's really a very
nice/important/heroic person.
     This could lead to further role-playing encounters as the party
tries to keep her as a friend.


Land of Fairies, Literally

    The party enters a foreign city where homosexual is the norm. The
entire party is viewed with disgust (except the gay character, and he
is looked down upon for befriending the "straights", said with disgust
by all NPCs in the town).
     A chance for excellent role-playing encounters for all concerned.


Reverse Rape

     The character could be raped by some powerful/important woman.
Perhaps a magic-user, who could have some nasty original spells,
specifically for torturing the guy. Then it becomes the party's "test
of friendship to hunt the offender down and kill her. One would hope
they would do no different if it was a female character who was raped
by a man.


Evil of Homosexuality

     Have the party enter a city/dominion/area where homosexuality is
suddenly being persecuted to the extreme (a la Spanish Inquisition).
The local ruler has outlawed it, the church too, all the major powers
have decide that it is the root of all evil and the reason their
city/dominion is undergoing economic hardship (which is just an excuse
to cover the results of their own corruption). Homosexuals are being
burned at the stake etc...
     The homosexual party member might well feel the need to combat
this persecution, and if powerful enough, be the champion of local
homosexuals. If he/she is stupid enough to confront the ruling elite, a
great chase scene can be had, but the party should escape. Now the
possibilities for a lengthy campaign where the homosexual character
(With or without the aid of the rest of the characters) can form a
underground resistance movement. If the character isn't that willing to
help out, an old lover can run into him/her on the street and threaten
to expose them if they don't help (another way would be to have the
character watch as an old lover is burnt at the stake, and character
should be resolved to help at that sight).
     So, the party gets embroiled in all kinds of planning, raids,
rescues, waging the battle for the hearts and minds of the public,
maybe even an assassination or three if that's how you're players are.
Meanwhile they are pursued an harassed with increasing strength until
the climax.  Perhaps one of the city/dominion leaders is a really a
homosexual, and the party convinces them to confess in front of the
people, who knows?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                           A FEW GOOD STORIES


One funny occurrence ---

     One of the clerics in my party went to an inn that also provided
companionship for the night, either preference. When he got his
bedmate, he and she had a little fun. (the encounter lasted 10 minutes
game time, heh,heh). Afterward, they did it again, and this time it
lasted 1 hr. 15 min., with him fainting at the end.  When he woke up,
he found himself in a cell, and the woman nowhere to be seen.
     It turns out that a woman named the White Lich had been taking out
potential enemies throughout the kingdom (she is a LICH). It also
turned out that it wasn't "white" lich, but "wight" lich.
     Imagine my player's face when he realized he had screwed a wight
lich!!!

                                                  --- Larry

Learning about true love ---

     Mowahpehnoksie (Mo), Plainsman warrior (my character) was on a
quest (solo) for a lost plainsman treasure.  The first part of the
quest was the creation of a sacred bundle, the tribal shaman told Mo
that he had to acquire a lock of hair from his one true love as an
ingredient in the sacred bundle. As it turned out Mo had a "one true
love" in the person of Vasquez, an elven privateer/warrior of
extraordinary beauty and sword skill. Mo had been chasing Vasquez for a
long time, all to no avail. She kept telling him that she would marry
him when he could beat her in a duel. No one had ever beaten her in a
duel. Anyhow, Mo sets off for the city where Vasquez was docked. First
he checks at the Bloody Blade, a tavern partially owned by Vasquez, the
bartender says she is down on the docks talking to her crew (of
cutthroats). Mo goes to the docks, the first mate says that she just
left and said she would be back in a few days. A disappointed Mo goes
back to the tavern to leave a message, but the bartender tells him that
Vasquez just came in and went up to her rooms. Mo goes up there and
gets invited in. Vasquez is wearing a robe, and has a full bath of
water drawn, she dumps Mo into the water, one thing leads to another...
     When Mo wakes up, Vasquez is standing by the window, she turns
says "Tyche sends her regards" changes into her true form, a succubus
and teleports away. Tyche was an old enemy of the adventurers that had
heard about Mo's quest, and wanted to set him up. Mo eventually found
Vasquez at her father's castle where he had to explain what had
happened, and see if she would still give him her hair (she did, taking
pity on the fool). To make a long story short, Mo passed through many
more trials, and succeeded in the quest. The succubus in the scenario
had been careful to control her draining abilities while with Mo,
because the real reason for all the subterfuge was delivered to Mo
roughly nine months later, a bouncing baby alu-demon. What is the moral
of this story? Don't have pre-marital sex? No, then what? Shapechanging
creatures can make for very interesting bed partners.
     NOTE: Mo and Vasquez were eventually married, and are raising
their alu-demon daughter as best they can. Vasquez has more or less
forgiven Mo for the whole thing, and even helped rescue the kid when
she was kidnapped. They are in semi retirement until Soah is old enough
to take care of herself. They are very happy to have weaned her off of
eating raw meat.

                                                  --- John Daniel

Prostitutes are nasty ---

     Our group of four entered a real sleazy town, it was basically a
pirates' cove town where pirates, thugs, and assorted baddies resided
when they weren't attacking, raping, and pillaging the neighborhood.
The group of us (myself a monk, a fighter, cleric, and mage) were
searching for the whereabouts of a lady kidnapped from a prominent
merchant from our hometown whom we owed favors too for past help. The
trail at this point led to this town where he (the supposed ring
leader of the kidnappers) had been known to frequent. Of course, none
of the "regulars" there wanted anything to do with a bunch of strangers
coming in and we were getting nowhere. Of course, my character wanted
nothing to do with this place and considered the whole area to be
respite with creeps. Our fighter though was a big burlesque guy and
found the prostitution there to be a wonderful, wonderful place. Our
cleric (who being female had a rough time with the people of the area)
basically stuck by my side and the two of us spent more time searching
for the damn fighter than getting information on the kidnapping. Of
course, he struck it rich with a talkative hooker and found that the
person we were looking for was holdup in the harbor on a boat.
     Eventually we snuck down there, boarded and captured the criminal,
rescued the lady, then had to battle our way back out. Altogether, we
were hounded by:
     a) the criminal's pals
     b) some other rouges who were smitten by our lovely cleric and
        wanted her for their own
     c) two separate prostitutes who say they are carrying our fighters
        child (They can't both be, can they? It must be a scam, at
        least HE says so...)
     d) the "ladies'" pals and family who both insist on marriage or
        financial reimbursements for what he did to these poor ladies


     Well, we made it out fine. Returned to our hometown where we're
sort of hero's now, but in danger whenever we leave. Ahhh... what a
life adventurers leave.
     THE MORALE: Don't let a fighter run rampant in a sleazy town
filled with lots of lovely prostitutes.

                                                  --- Toa the monk

A cleric's penance ---

     Although our group engaged in sexual encounters (old favorites
like the innkeeper's daughter, the farmer's wife, etc.), it usually
had severe consequences. After the treatment of one character, a
cleric, the group stayed clear of these opportunities.
     This character, a cleric, was seduced by a bar wench during one of
our stops. Although the sex was supposedly great, soon after the cleric
began to notice a tingling sensation in his groin. Sure enough, his
deity had struck him with a venereal disease, and no spell could take
it off! The condition became more debilitating until finally, after
intense prayer, his god forgave him as long as a certain penance was
followed. This involved the usual series of prayers, and one extra
condition: on the ground there magically appeared a bag of holding
(usable only for the purpose it was intended), and inside was a large
supply of BURLAP UNDERWEAR! There was enough for the cleric to change
three times daily, which, of course, he was required to do! We all
steered clear of barmaids after that!

                                                  --- Mario R. Borelli

A Barbarian's Boo-Boo ---

     Our adventuring group was exploring a keep of some type looking
for the main baddie who was female. When we found her bedroom, she
wasn't there. Of course, we began looking through it when one of the
male barbarian PC's (played by a female) accidently spilled some
perfume on himself which had strange properties. The Barbarian and the
elven female mage (played by a male) had a certain sudden
uncontrollable urge to make use of the nearby bed (that lasted for
about 2 hours game time not real time). By this time everyone was
laughing hysterically because their characters were standing outside
the open door and were watching the entertainment. Now after everyone
stopped laughing (and who wouldn't
with a low level barbarian and a mid-level mage going at it) the GM had
asked questions and rolled his dice and wouldn't ya just know that the
mage got pregnant (snicker).
     What made the whole thing so interesting was mainly the fact that
the characters are both opposite gender from their players (and the
mage doesn't really know she's pregnant yet).
     The GM used The Complete Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge to
make the whole tower and adventure. The GM kept flippin' through and
referring to the guide.

                                                  --- Xandar

Precise Constitution Points ---

     I'd like to tell you about my character (at least, the one for
whom this guide is good, since I'm playing at least two characters at
any given moment, but that's another story). He is an Elf fighter/bard
that due to becoming undead and being resurrected lost 1 Constitution
point from his original 11. He asked to return to life (you won't
believe it) because he fell in love with a Druid. Due to his chaotic
nature, he did some nasty things later (like tempting the police-chief
for a gain of about 300 gold pieces...) and had a lover-fight with the
druid, but as he apologized to her and did everything he could to
please her - they are back together again, and then what? Just as we
leave the city, towards the castle that contains a sword and a horse
dedicated for the paladin in out party by his god, we meet three(!)
meduses!!!! And guess who's becoming a stone on the spot? Yes, me!!!
(The other me is a holly-ghost, an undead lawful-good priest of the God
of the Sun (I know it sounds crazy) and he is protected by him, so he
only got paralyzed in another meduse attack). However, one of my best
friends, a vampire magic user (would you please repeat THAT???!!!)
succeeded in using him vampiric abilities and use a higher level
vampire mage to cast stone-to-flesh on me. He did that three times,
'cause I failed the system shock twice... So, and here we get to our
point, I'm left with a Constitution of 7!!! (I still have a Dexterity
of 19 and Strength of 17, but I LOVE having sex!!!) ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Since my GM makes me, as a bard, write and sing REAL songs for my
spells (I need no spell-books or material components - just a suitable
song), I am announcing my next spell-song, which I hope to complete by
next session: Luwain's Ever Lasting Hard-On!
     Lately, the Fellowship has found itself at Salba-the Layer of
Momentary Pleasure (this is a part of the Layered World, an anomaly
located in the Mirn-Kaia Universe, where sex is a requirement for all
visitors, and the local monetary unit is one Orgasm (four Orgasms =
Multiple Orgasm). The local dominant race, the Salbars, can (and do)
grasp momentary sexual pleasure as a physical object in the fabric of
Time (in Mirn-Kaia metaphysical terms, Salba is related to the Sphere
of Time in a passive way). The job of the second species of Salba, the
Timplags, and of all visitors, is to provide sexual divertissement and
new experience to the Salbars. As can be imagined, this did give a rise
to a lot of really good role-playing. And the bard Luwain, remaining
faithful to himself, has sneaked away from the party and remained in
Salba, in the bed of no less than Salibu, the Mistress of the Layer.

                                                  --- Luwain

A Cleric's Vow ---

     I've been in a party with a very complex character. He was a
powerful cleric, who had entered clerichood as a sort of escape from
his sexuality. He took a vow of chastity of his own accord (his deity
certainly didn't care so long as he was a good, faithful cleric).
     Once, he was put into no win/no win situation. The only person who
could help him was a evil female mage who found him, and his resistance
to her many charm, very appealing. Needless to say, the cleric, in
order to achieve the good and righteous end, offered himself up.
     He stills plays in my world, and now has the terrible guilt (which
I use to my advantage) about his poor, illegitimate child, who being
raised by an evil mother, may come back to haunt old dad some day.  He
is actually an excellent character and is very clever when around those
hearty fighters going out on the town.... you know the type. From a
GMing perspective, I'd have to say, there's not much difference... it's
all in how good a roleplayer they are!

                                                  --- Bertnof

Cassandra Gets A Friend ---


    I now play a psionicist named Cassandra Wissenkunstler, raised from
infancy as an orphan by a group of priestesses at a monastery devoted
to Areya, goddess of Time and Prophecy. I put in her character
background that this had caused her to be celibate so that none of the
other players' characters (all male) would stand a chance of scoring
with her, but last gaming session - well... I guess I'd better let her
tell you.
     Cassandra, a slim girl (5'5", 113# only 17), steps forward,
seeming a little nervous. "I feel easier talking to a group of
strangers about this, for I know not what my companions or my
priestesses would say, and I fear what my goddess might do were she to
discover what has happened.
     "Two months ago, while taking a midday meal at the Blue Boar, a
most interesting incident occurred. My server was Camillia, a most
attractive girl [17 Comeliness], and while refilling my mug of ale, she
chanced to spill some in my lap. She apologized profusely, and quickly
began drying my robes with her cleaning rags. Her light touch, as she
rubbed the cloth on my inner thighs, sparked a desire in me I have
never known before; and when our eyes met I saw the same hunger in her.
'I would do anything to make it up to you,' Camillia whispered. I told
her I would like her to make it up that night, and she suggested the
residence of Lady Rebecca, where she lived.
    "In the arms of Camillia and Lady Rebecca I learned what true
pleasure is, and was taught how fingers, lips, and tongue might repay
the pleasures I was given." She blushes and falls silent.
    Well, since Cassandra can't finish, I'll do it for her. Suffice it
to say that the rest of the guys in the gaming group were jealous as
hell, but since everyone was on "solo" adventures for the night, none
of the other characters found out about it for two full months of game
time.
     During that interval, Lady Rebecca began calling Cassandra
"Clarissa," and my character learned from Camillia that this was
actually Rebecca's daughter, whom the lady had hacked to pieces and
buried under the cellar when she tried to flee her lesbian mother.
Camillia had stayed on out of a combination of fear and love for the
older woman, and due to Lady Rebecca's strong personality (save vs.
charm with a +4 bonus). I also learned that Rebecca was something of a
dominatrix, who routinely bound both Camillia and Cassandra in order to
playfully whip them and "tease" them with leather-wrapped wooden, shall
we say, "implements."
     Finally we (the gaming group) were getting together to leave town
on an adventure, except that Lady Rebecca didn't want her precious
"new" Clarissa to leave her. I went ectoplasmic in the middle of the
night (scared poor Camillia nearly to death) and got out, only to find
the thief of the party coming to check up on me. I quickly covered
myself by saying that I had been held captive by Rebecca (sure, with
the ability to escape ectoplasmically?) and telling him of the
implements of torture and the body under the house.
     The thief and one of our fighters returned the next night in order
to steal a couple of whips and "implements" as evidence against her,
which my character then took to the guards, claiming to have escaped
with them. When I told the guards of the body, they marched to the
house, dug up the skeleton, and summarily executed Lady Rebecca for the
crime of murder. Camillia was freed, for they determined that she had
been virtually "enslaved" upon fear of her life, and possession of the
house reverted to her.
     Now she and my character are living there together (except when
the group is adventuring), and the other characters in our group are
trying hard to help me cope with the awful ordeal of extended captivity
and rape I've had to endure (men, they'll believe anything a woman
tells them while shaking with terror and crying big crocodile tears).


                                                  --- Kenneth Nuckols



David Kelman for his spell Sacremon's Emperor's New Clothes.

Sven De Kerpel for his comments and additions on the prostitute section
of the guide which resulted in seven major chances to the tables to
make them more realistic and playable.

Steve Langton for the "Prostitutes are nasty" story in the story
section.

Tim Larson for inspiring the Skilled Perversion NWP.

Lonadar the Wanderer bringing up the race question, commenting on a lot
of the spells, adding the feather to the components of Leomund's Ting
Brothel.

Luwain "Don't Fuck With Me" The Nightingale of The Fellowship of the
Flying Paladin for the Precise Constitution Points story.  He created
the A Bard's Sexual Spell-Songs section and contributed "Luwain's Ever
Lasting Hard-On" to it.

Andrew Lohmann for his Induce Pleasure Psionic Power.

Mark Manning for his Teeney-Weeny-Bikini magic item.

John M. Martz for his criticisms on the pregnancy rules and his
clerical spells: Baltasar's Impediment, Fertility.

Mizar, the Brilliant for assinting in the creation of the section
"The Baby is Here! What Ya' Got?"

Nige for his Sexual Phobia insanity.

Hugo M. Nijhof who made a list of spells from which I took and modified
the spells Don Juan's Irresistible Kiss and Vampiric Kiss.

Kenneth Nuckols for his "Cassandra Gets A Friend" story in the story
section.

The Anti-Paladin, Nomed the Accursed for his abyss level in the section
An Abyss Level.

Nosferatu for The Rack Critical Hit Chart: For Men Only.

Mike Parasich for the spells Cure Soreness, Enchant Condom, Delay
Orgasm, Deep Throat, Power Word: Disrobe; all of which were mentioned.

The Phantom for the Alternative Sexist Height & Weight rule in the baby
section.

Arron Sher, compiler of The NET.PLOTS.BOOK from which the vampire
adventuring idea came from.

Sir Gregor creator of The Bobitt Maneuver.

Scott Spetalnik for seeing that a bell curve wasn't used with the
ability scores.

Matt Sullivan for his humble comments and recommendations that inspired
a few modifications to the rules. For the first draft of "Seduction:
More Than Reaction Roles" section, which was very creative.

Eredae Swiftblade for the alternate conception system "Conception:
System II".

Tony for the in the Homosexual Plots section: Evil of Homosexuality.

Train, GM for the following ideas in the Homosexual Plots section: The
Gay Man and the Jealous Wife; Saying No; Land of Fairies, Literally;
and Reverse Rape.

Mark H. Vest for his magical item the Girdle of Hippolyte.

Vinnie & Rahasia Mage Priestess of Ishtar The Priestess of Love for
ReErection spell idea and suggesting a spell that simulates the
Nereid's kiss. For keeping them comments coming on everything I needed
help on. Plus, he suggested wisdom modifiers for the Houri seduction
rules which were implemented. For additions to the sexual knowledge
skill. For the "Adventuring Idea" section and three ideas (Love Boat,
Dog Man Needs A Date, Twins) that appear there.  For the idea and
suggestions for Rahasia's Whirlpool Tub Of Love which appears in the
magic-items section.

Owen Winkler for a first draft of the impotence spell that I used.

Xandar for his story "A Barbarian's Boo-Boo" in the story section of
the guide.

Following a strange and perverse discussion on the a RPG discussion
list, the section "Protection of the Worst Kind (for the Male)" was
created based on the following persons' comments: Rod and Kenneth
Nuckols.

Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the
section "Has Anyone Played a Homosexual Character?" was created based
on the following persons' comments: Andy Trembley, Geoffrey Wyen,
Akira, Scott Spetalnik, Gyorgy Schadt, Russ Fontaine, Andrew Hackard.

Following a role-playing discussion on the a RPG discussion list, the
section "ESSAY: What If A Character Rapes A NPC?" was created based on
the following persons' comments: Felix Leadfingers, Kalindra
Nightstalker aka Michelle Carter, and Paul .

After the first release of the guide, I recieved a message from Rob:
     What would pregnancy do to a theif's skills? What about a mage or
     bard?  We decided that there was no good set rule but that they
     would be greatly affected.
This led to a large conversation on the a RPG about pregnancy. The main
contibution to the conversation was Vicki L. Domansky, Morgaine. Some
major comments, suggestions, and ideas came from John M. Martz. John
"Nightwind" Boelter made some great comments, suggestions, and ideas as
well as Morgan Blackheart of The Chaotic Realm and his wife. Others
were: Bob Smith, Paul Duggan, Paul J. Cummings, Joe, Lord Baylor
Ironsbane, Brian David Phillips, Philippe Goujard the FAQ Dude.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


                 THE INTERNET CONTROVERSY OF THE GUIDE


     Upon the first completion of this guide (06/01/92), it was offered
to members of a various RPG lists that are found on the INTERNET. Over
50 people responded and received the guide. Some people disliked the
guide and stated their opinions on the discussion list, and others
rebutted their complaints. Below is the argument that took place.


COMMENT

     I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating
these insane articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've tolerated a
lot of crazy things on this list and mostly just delete them if I don't
want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it without trying
to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and crazy I can't stand
it. I don't want to have to 'delete' it... I mean lets take a closer
look at this for a second. First off I'm sure many of you have had
those silly encounters where your group felt like being goofy and some
characters had sex, and perhaps some of you have had serious encounters
about this sort of thing to go along with the story of the campaign.
But... I think it's really ridiculous that someone might think we could
use a guide on how to role-play sex. Granted sex is very important...
but God man... we don't need freaking articles on 'how to do it'
because if we don't know already we have no business 'doing it' in the
first place.... game or otherwise. I've been playing for several
years... and I've encountered stories and spot adventures of sex....
but I never encountered crazy junk like THIS in all 10 years of playing
until I kept seeing articles like this last one.  Now maybe some of you
out their have a different opinion...  if so...  lets hear it... I'd
like to know WHY we should have guides on HOW to have SEX in RPGs
because I think they are personally a waste of space and just tell me
how much time that person had free on his hands to write such a
ridiculous article in the first place.

Thank you for your time.

                                   --- Your friendly neighborhood
                                       Anti-Paladin
                                       Nomed 'the Accursed'


COMMENT

     I have taken the time to read the aforementioned Guide to RPG sex.
It is your game, play it the way you want to. If you have fun with it,
then more power to you. I find the whole thing infantile and lacking
any merit whatsoever. The whole sophomoric tone led to initially
believe it was a joke. Perhaps it still is.

                                   --- Ristonofer On high ground,
                                       donning the asbestos.


COMMENT

Come on now, the author of the sex guide was making an attempt at
adding something to the game and all of a sudden, out of the woodwork,
comes friggin' Siskel and Ebert of literature. Give the guy a break. I
haven't completely finished reading the "guide" but come now. People
have the right to compile what they like. Ristanofer (sp?): is it truly
infantile to experiment?? I see nothing very wrong with it. I think
that we should give the guy a break. From what I read, he isn't the
only one who helped compile it. There are many others. Are you and the
lady (*I'm sorry but I forgot her logo*) going to hunt all of these
people down and flame them?? I think not. I think that the best thing
y'all can do is mellow out and let someone hang themselves with the
newly created length of rope,  and if they do not, well, wish them
luck.

P.S. that was IMHO, of course. And if you must, flames are welcome.

P.P.S. but I prefer not to see any.

                                   --- DeathWish


COMMENT

     I must agree with Deathwish about the sex guide. This discussion
list is a forum for presenting ideas. Not those ideas that are good or
those ideas that are bad but all ideas. What may be junk to one person
may be a gold mine to another.
     I can see nothing wrong with offering the guide to the net on the
chance that someone may feel it is useful. Obviously someone felt so or
the author would not have had all the collaboration on the project from
fellow list members.
     If you have a problem with someone's work send them private e-mail
before flaming them before the list.

                                   IMHO.
                                   Greg Dillingham


COMMENT

     I, too, have read the guide.  I find it humorous, but of the
"Did you hear the joke about the girl with HUGE ...", etc.. It's REALLY
infantile (although most of the jokes that truly make me laugh are as
well) and I think you're either going to hate it or love it. Me, I'm
afraid I hate it.  Well done, but I think the original idea was... (I'm
gonna duck the flame after this) lame.

                                   Yers,
                                   Greg (Malek)


COMMENT

     As one of the people who made some (minimal) contributions to the
guide, I must say the following. While you may not like some parts of
the guide, find them infantile, etc., I am sure that there is something
in there for every GM. Even if you do not like 99% of it, that last 1%
is going to be something that will make your eyes light up, and start
the wheels of your mind turning. Read it before passing judgement.
'Nuff Said on the subject....happy dice rolling.


COMMENT

     Well I should say read the guide or give it at least a good look
before you start saying things like that! It's not just to tell ya how
to do the thing but it's to add more flavor and much more fun on this
subject. Yes you should really give it a look. It's full of really
nice/funny/wonderful/weird ideas. The developers where all very
surprised of what became of the Guide and I Think many of you will also
be very surprised if you take a look!
     Don't think that because it's related to this subject called Sex
that it's bad stupid or useless. It certainly ain't an 'Escape from
Reality' (or whatever you wanna call it) to have some fake Sex!
(...because you don't get enough in your own life.....aahhhwww What a
pitty....Oooppss I'm sorry) I really wouldn't wanna trade places with
the PC's who were gonna be involved with those rules. Yeah take a look
at those real nasty diseases and neat Kiss Spells! You certainly don't
wanna be subject of most of those!!! The Guide is there just to add
more Fun and fresh ideas to this wonderful game.
     I have to admit that I first thought it was a stupid idea too but
then I saw some nice ideas and joined the developers in making it a
nice ***FREE*** good developed product!

                                   --- Vinnie

     Okay I'll now put on my Protection from fire again and wield my
Frostbrand so come-on with those Flame Throwers! But Don't try to
barbecue me when you didn't gave a good look at the Guide! First look &
read before you start Flaming the Thing (yeah You can't start a fire on
something if you do not really know what it is! It could be either
Alcohol or Water! he he :) And I guess you don't wanna waste your
flamethrower on the water!


COMMENT

Valiant Comrades,
     Regarding the uproar about the Sex Guide, I agree with the
supporters, and to the critics I have to say LIGHTEN UP! If you don't
like the principal of the guide, then simply refrain from using it.
Even the Dungeon Master's Guide isn't written in stone.
     Besides, there is some useful stuff in there. Any GM who can't
find creative uses for an Houri NPC should have his proverbial licence
revoked.
     And, no matter how you view an RPG, it is still ONLY A GAME.  If
someone takes offence to the principal or content therein, perhaps a
different hobby is in order.

                                   --- Hall-ee-mor Dargess


COMMENT

     How come I never got a copy of the sex guide? I asked for one.
Can someone send me a copy please. Sure, it may seem a little silly or
stupid, but it can't hurt. I'll read it then decide if I want to use
it.  There's probably something in it for everybody. What ever happened
to free expression?  Some people are so oppressive!

                                   --- Auston


COMMENT

MiXeD iN tHe hEaD

I believe it!

> I'd like to address all of those out their who insist on creating
> these  insane articles on how to 'role-play' sex. Now I've
> tolerated a  want to read them (and sometimes post a message about it
> without trying to flame anyone). This however is just to dumb and
> crazy I can't stand it.

You "can't stand it" ?!?  You have some personal problem with other
people's creativity? You may not share others sense of humor and they
may not respect your morals, but this is a public access list. You seem
to indicate it should be censored!  Now step back and realize that
other people, myself included, are mature enough to moderate 'use of
sex' in our own games. Some of these articles have had some good ideas,
while all of them at the very least are intended to be taken light-
heartedly. So have fun with it, or just ignore it.

> adventures of sex.... but I never encountered crazy junk like
> THIS in all 10 years of playing until I kept seeing articles
> like this last...

I dunno who you've been gaming with...  But the college students I have
played with have done much "worse" than this list's "Guide to Sex." Of
course like any other "rules for RPGs" the sex stuff is just a tool.
Suggestions...and most of all a good laugh from some creative gamers
who defiantly have a grip on the real world.

Think about sex-education through role-playing games :)  One must learn
that if his promiscuous paladin doesn't wear his "ring of protection"
(and I don't mean the one on worn on the hands...) that he may pick up
some nasty effects, possibly magical!  Eeeooch!

                With the slightest bow and tip of his hat,
                   the Rogue steps back into the night...


COMMENT

You guys need to grow the fuck up. Go out and buy a Hustler or two and
figure out what you really should play with, besides yourselves. Notice
"elves" in there!  *** CENSORED ***

                                   --- Taipan


COMMENT

     Some time ago I was told of the sex guide by a friend and didn't
believe him. Anyway, I started searching for it on the net and finally
found it. It's GREAT!!!!! The rules are very interesting considerations
to have in mind and add more spice to the campaign (at least mine). You
can use the rules to make the adventure much more interesting and
funny. I also read some people's comments and I have something to tell
them: if there is anything crazy around it's them. Just because
something involves sex doesn't mean the world will tear apart. It's as
if someone had complaints about excessive violence in the game (is
there anyone with this opinion?). We are living in a world where sex is
being taken much worse than the way the guide presents it, it's one of
our defects, so why try to hide it? This work has made me understand
many things I hadn't thought of (really). It's so sarcastic that it
gives food for thought (I'm sorry some people didn't notice). I'll talk
about this work with many people, and once again thanks, you did a cool
job :).

                                   --- M. Santeli
