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`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'In'FRO'duction`$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
'`

Well here it finally is!  afrOzine!  It was supposed to be
out sometime earlier in the 9-5.  But hey, it didn't come out. So
shoot me or something.  There are no reviews in this mag, there
are no flaming articles in this mag, there is jack shit in this
mag!  Yes, that's right, Jack's shit.  It was hard getting it, and
even harder trying to get it in here.  Boy, did he jump! :)  Well
as the name hints, this mag is total utter nonsense.  Nothing
that makes any sense, nothing that really matters, and nothing
that you could learn from.  Well, unless you're really a stupid
pile of mucus.  Then, you can learn something!  This mag is in a
big huge fucker of a text file.  And yes, this is what it was
supposed to look like, and yes, this is the way it will always be
released.  What?  Why not code it?  Because I don't want it coded!
If you want a coded Emag, make one!  (Yeah, you tell 'em!)...

Some background.... it's black.  Plain black.  There's some
white writing...but the background remain's black....black is such
a cool colour!  I mean, don't you just love how black afros shine
in the sweltering summer heat?  Or how they get matted down when it
rains?  Or even better!  When gum gets stuck in them, and your head
looks like a big pile of goop!  Woo hoo!  Afros are so fun to play
with!  Look ma!  I made a new friend!  His name is Mr. Afrohead!
He even comes with his own afrosheen and afropick!


`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'    Top 10    `$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
'`

Here are the top 10 things that afro's should be a part of, either
physically or mentally...unless they're inanimate...where it would
just be physically...err..yeah... oh yeah, afrosheen works!

10.  Every artist needs a 'fro!  I mean, what else do you do
when you're drawing?  Nothing else to play around with,
well...unless you're one of those gif file snatchers...
...err...nevermind..go ahead and continue 'playin'!

9.  Bill Clinton needs a 'fro!  He's already close, but he
needs tha curls! First a Hillbilly runnin' thangs,
then a 'fro on 'em...what next?

8.  Dogs all need 'fros!  Tiny dogs need them to balance out
their little bodies.  Huge dogs need them to look hardcore
and hey, they'll look so darn cute!

7.  Computers should come with 'fros!  It would give your
screen some personality!  And maybe huge headphones on
the side!  Hip Hop 486!  Ooooh yeah!

6.  The Smurfs.  There had to be a Smurf with an afro!
We all know underneath them bigass white hats, hid
afros the size of Oprah's ass!

5.  Geraldo needs a 'fro!  It'll take attention away from
that gawd awful crooked nose!  Somebody give dat guy a
hint or somthin!

4.  NiN all need 'fros!  Then they could be FNTAL!  Furry
Nails That Are Long!  They could be the pioneers of
Infrodustrial music!

3.  Jean Chretien needs a 'fro!  Then he could be that funny
talkin' frenchy who has a funny lookin' head!  It would
just add to our pity for the guy.  " ai am da prahme
meeneestaire of Cahnahdaw, and I look funnee "

2.  Bill Gates needs a 'fro!  It'll add some colour to that
otherwise pale head of his.  Plus he'll finally be able
to sell his new product, aimed at the Hip Hop crowd
called; " WinHoes fo' da 95 ".

1.  You need a 'fro!  Yeah YOU!  THE ONE READING THIS!  STOP
POINTING AT YOURSELF DAMMIT!  For then, you could fully
understand the power of the Afro.  The power that I've
felt, the power that I've used.

(Note:  4thds never felt power, all he got from having a
'fro was laughs.  They all laughed at him, they all took
turns beating him.  They all shared in shaving his head
bald.  4thds doesn't have an afro no longer...watch out
for his new mag called: baldOzine.  - unknown writer )

(Note2:  I may not have an afro anymore.... but hey, it's
ok.  I can now get started on mah jerry curls!  Woo! )


`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'Virtual Artist`$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
'`

Tired of begging artists for peices of work which were
promised to you 5 months ago?  Tired of asking for a free ansi or
vga?  Well here it is!  Virtual Artist!  Yes, that's right, now
you too can be the artist that you look up to!  This program
requires THEGRAB.EXE (It came with your THEDRAW).  Here's what
you do, logon to some wicked-ass-elite board that has a million
ansi's.  Now press 'Ctrl-RShift'!  Good!  Now drop into dosshell,
go into THEDRAW or ACiDDRAW or ARTWORX or anything else that draws
ansi.  Now load the file with the extension '000'.  Whoa!  It's the
same pic!  Now edit it, erase the artists name, change some of the
colours and yes, dare I say it?  Add some high ascii lettering!!!!!

But the fun doesn't end there!  Now you have a copy of that
ansi that you begged for, and you didn't have to send any money for
it at all!  Hahaha!  You can now make a group that just does this,
24 hours a day, 7 days a week!  You too can be elite!  Now for a
name for your group.....  how about something weird... like
Frignitz?  It's almost a swear word.  It has that 'z' sound like
'wArEz'.  Ok, now you are an 'artist' and you have your very own
group!  Time to get onto IRC and let the world know that you are
here, and now they all have a reason to fear you.

You logon and get into IRC chat with some guy named 4th^Drk.
He starts yelling at you for some odd reason, calling you names
like; 'shiznit', 'punkasswannabe', and 'monkeychild'.. what's this
guys problem?  Who is he?  And why is he so upset?  WAKE UP FUCKER!
YOU JUST RIPPED ONE OF HIS ANSIS!  You soon realize that this whole
'Virtual Artist' thing is a bit overrated.  And that it's really
not all that great.  You decide to leave the ansi scene for a bit,
maybe come back later when you actually learn to draw ansi, and
think of an alias that doesn't have the words; death, fire, or evil
in it.  Your group of ansi ripping scum doesn't understand what's
going on, and they all blame you.  You get blacklisted, purplelisted
and even yellow polka dot listed....  That 4th^Drk guy is still
yelling at you while all of this is going on, and you don't know how
to make him stop!  So you turn your computer off hoping that when
you turn your computer back on that he won't be there....

     As the days pass text files are released about how 'lame' you
are, and how you shouldn't be allowed on any board...  What do you
do now?  All you did was take 100 ansis and release them as your
own.  Not like you did anything wrong... oh well, maybe this whole
ansi thing isn't as wonderful as everyone said.  This signals the 
end of you short-lived ansi career.... but that's ok!  You still
have vga, ascii, rip, and literature!!! Woo!


`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'Fact & Fiction`$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
'`

FACT:  This was supposed to be coded.

FACT:  It's not.

FACT:  I don't to ascii.

FACT:  That's why some of the ascii you see here sucks.

FICTION:  This is an attempt to undermine the ansi scene.

FICTION:  I'm really an alien being from the planet Zork.

FICTION:  My new CD featuring NiN and Snoop Doggy Dogg is out.

FICTION:  I am really a stupid freak of nature.

FACT:  This is not that CD you wanted for Christmas.

FACT:  Coke and Coffee don't mix very well <ulp!>

FACT:  afrOzine spelled backwards is enizOrfa which means
' EeeK!  You stink ' in 4thdisciplenese.

FACT:  There is not a silent 'q' in my alias.

FICTION:  I wear a wig.

FICTION:  Virtual Artist is really what happened to me.

FICTION:  Penguins can't fly!  Pfft!  (Have you ever attached
5 sticks of dynamite to one?)

FICTION:  This is the last Emag from me.


`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'In Tha Boombox`$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
'`

Well as most of you know, I'm one of them Hip Hop junkies who
just have to get what's hot.  Well, this month was no exception,
though some albums may be old, all are worth the pick up.

The Genius/Gza:  The man behind the whole Wu-Tang Clan comes out
(Liquid Swords)  on his own.  Just like Method Man, Raekwon, and
Ol' Dirty Bastard before him, the album is full
of cameo appearances, Rza beats, and lyrics that
will send you to tha next level.

Check out:Liquid Swords, Duel of the Iron Mic, Shadowboxin,
4th Chamber, Investigative Reports, Killah Hills
10304, etc.

afrOrating:****«


Nervous:This compilation from Nervous Records just blows
(Hip Hop)up in yo' face.  With Funkmaster Flex, Mad Lion,
Black Moon and Smiff'n'Wessun it just shows the
strength of record label that was just a thought
back in 1991.

Check out:Bucktown, How many Mc's, 6 Million Ways, etc.

afrOrating:****«


Gravediggaz:The Rza of Wu-Tang comes out with his own group,
(6 Feet Deep)    built around Horror-Core Rap.  Beware, this isn't
Wu-Tang, even though The Rza appears.  But it is
something worth listening to.  It has that eerie
feel to it.

Check out:Nowhere to Run Nowhere to Hide, Blood Brothers,
Two Cups of Blood, etc.

afrOrating:****


Raekwon:The Speedster from the Wu-Tang Clan, alongside
(Only BuiltThe Ghost Face Killer does what we've all been
4 Cubanwaiting for.  The voice behind 'C.R.E.A.M.'
Lynx)shows just what the Wu can do.  This one might
just be one of the best for 95!

Check out:Wu Gambinos, Ice Cream, Verbal Intercourse, etc.

afrOrating:****


Flatlinerz:More Horror-Core Rap from one of the originators!
(U.S.A.)Throughout the album striking beats hit ya like
a mallet, and lyrics flow like water... it's
worth the extra cash (import), and it's all that!

Check out:Rivaz of Red, Satanic Verses, Sonic Boom, 718,
Scary-Us, etc.

afrOrating:****«


Group Home:The understudies of Gangstarr are now out on their
(Livin'own.  And they don't disappoint!  The first single
Proof)entitled 'Livin Proof', bursts through and just
(Single)sticks in your head.  Watch for these guys!

afrOrating:*****


Blahzay Blahzay: A Catchy little track, with Jeru tha Damaja doin'
(Danger)some funky chorus.  It's one of those tracks that
(Single)will keep ya' head noddin'.  Pick it up if you
haven't.  Plus there's a ton of remixes on it!

afrOrating:*****


Cypress Hill:    The boys are back, and this time it's no 'Black
(Throw ya'Sunday'.  They show that they ain't no commercial
sets in thaHip Hoppers.  This single blows the fuck up!
air)Wicked background track, and funky lyrics.

afrOrating:***«


     This is just my opinion on what's hot.  And I highly doubt that
you guys will agree.  Well, give 'em all a listen and tell me what you
thought of my picks.


`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$' Art Gallery! `$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
 '`   
     
As this mag was being sliced together, numerous local artists
were kind enough to make something to promote it.  I'd first like to
thank all of you for your time, and effort.  And you all know that  
I'm always here for you guys.  Ansi, logo, pic, whatever, I got your
backs.  Thanks again.  

o    ø
.o
,a!,..
------------------------- .,d$$$$ý$$&a, ----------------------------------------°  °°°  greets go out to  `@$$$$$ .$$$$ holocaust for ' everything man °°° °  °°----------------------- !a,`$$$$$ $$$$$,d$$ý$$&a, - .,a!a,.  -------------------,d$^$b$$$ $$$$$a.`@!'$$$$ .$$$$.d$$$' $$$$b.  Ascii by: Redmand$$$ `$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$  $$$$$$
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--------------- . ----------------- . ------------------------------------------ø    oø 

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    ___________________________
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%%/   |   \   ___|  ___\   \/   \%
%/  _____  \  |         \_____   \
/
   \______/  |____|     \_______/
\_____|%\_____|%%%%|_____/__|%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%ý  AfRO-ZiNe iSSUE #1  ý%%%%%
%%%%    thiS MAG rULEz :*)    %%%%
%%%%%. SANtA  *<:*)  h0h0h0 .%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
     -Megaman (Iesus)



`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'   416/905    `$$a,.
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`$$'
 '`
     
     For as long as I can remember, our areacode has been fortunate
enough to have an abundance of artists.  In Canada, we may just be
the best when it comes to the number of artists.  Another areacode
      worth mentioning would be the 604, out in B.C., as well as the 514.
     When there are a ton of artists, there are a ton of groups,    
and this a/c is no different.  We have our numerous groups, and we
have our numerous unknowns.  This article will help to introduce 
you, the reader to our a/c.
     
      Dark Illustrated:  Dark has always been a major force in this a/c.
(Multi-Media)Most of the group is based within the area, and
 most of the artists have known each other for
months, if not years.  The only local group     
that has stood the test of time.  Dark could 
   also be considered one of the original, 
'alternative' groups.  Alternative to the 
 bigger groups.  Union, Cia, and Nation would be
2 more 'alternative' groups.  Hence a motto, 
truely deserving; " The Originals of The 
Originators ".  Dark has always strayed away
from the crowd, and now is no different.

Trauma:Trauma was actually renamed from Bleach.  Yes,
(Multi-Media) unkown to alot of you, Bleach was shortly run
(Updated:by a local after Lord Jazz gave it up.  After
merger)the death of the group, a local, Holocaust 
approached Lord Jazz for the group.  After 
taking over, he realized that he didn't have
the time for the group.  Another local, Fresh,
took over.  He then renamed Bleach to Trauma
and set out on a new path.  This group has 
 potential, and if matured right, could show
us somethings.
As I was writing this, a merger has come about.
Trauma has been swallowed by Weed Imagery.  Now
I don't know anything about this new group, 
other than the name 'Weed Imagery' will remain.

Plain:Toon #2?  Well maybe not.  But yes, WatOr, the
(Multi-Media) one who was responsible for the Toon craze that
 swept alot of us during the Summer is back!
 Plain, is not a Toon group, but a group that  
 takes everything.  When WatOr is behind a group
 it should be noted that, that group does well.
This group is no exception, WatOr knows how to
run a group, and he knows what's involved.  With
 3 strong releases under it's belt, Plain looks
like something very special.  It's a group that
                         will make you say "wOah!' :)

     Well, that does it for the local scene, there are still numerous
groups that weren't mentioned.  But that's because I didn't know if
you were still alive or what.  


`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'   afrOmeet   `$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
 '`
     
     Yes, that's right an afrOmeet.  It seems that alot of the local
      artists have gotten to know each other over the phone, BBSes and the
      Internet, but have never actually met.  Well, that's gonna change, 
      for all that are interested in this BBS meet please get in touch with
      with either me or El Guapo (Legend).  
           The meet will take place in a Pool Hall, in Brampton Ontario.  
      Bring dah herbs, bring dah booze, bring dah chicks.  And don't worry
      I won't have my 'fro in effect!  :)  The date for this meet will be
      sometime in January or February, depending on when the majority of the
      people wanna hold it.  If this sounds cool, email me and we'll get
      things sorted.  As well, if you need a ride or something, I can try
      and find you one.  Depending on where abouts you live.


`;..;'
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$' Little pOOg  `$$a,.
`   `$a,..,a$'   '
`$$'
 '`

    We all grow up knowing people that are a bit weird.  Well, 
      this is the story of one of those weirdos.  Little pOOg was about
      16 when he realized that his calling was computers.  He'd never
      been good at anything in his life, except computers.  Somehow he
      was able to master something, that he didn't quite understand.
      Little pOOg faced many different types of abuse during his 16
      years of growing up; verbal, physical, mental.  He had seen it
      all.  Yet computers were his way out of this abusive world.  He 
      had found a friend in his 'Pentium Pro'.  And now he didn't need
      anyone else.  As the months passed pOOg got closer to his computer
      sometimes even forgetting to eat or sleep, just to get that 0 day
      ware, just to put together that ansi pack before the deadline.  To
him this was what it was all about.  Being on top, for once in his
      pathetic life. 
           But one day things took a turn for the worse.  A package was 
      delivered to his front door step.  This unmarked box was attached
      to a letter which read: " pOOg ",  but how?  Why?  Who?  Before
      any of these questions could be answered the package was already
      openned.  Inside pOOg found a new CD for his CD-ROM..... there was
      a label on it;  " Risk it all, and never look back....for if you
      don't have faith you will never survive. "  This was odd, but for
      pOOg nothing clicked.  So he inserted the CD, almost overcome with
      anticipation.  As it was loaded, pOOg noticed a distinct odour....
      Shit, he'd forgot to use his anti-persperant again... eeeeewww...
      The smell was getting to him.  Before he knew it he was knocked out
      on the middle of the floor.  As he gained conscienceness, it was
      all too clear to him.  His life had been a sham.  He wasn't just a
      regular kid with a computer, he was; " pOOg, the smelloman! "  It
      was his job to save all computer geeks everywhere!  He would make
      a land where the geeks would roam free!  
           pOOg the Smelloman would be the planet's newest superhero!  The
      voice of the nerdy guy!  Just then, his computer spoke.  " Hello,
      pOOg, this is your computer 'Pant-ee-yum' speaking. You have been 
      chosen for this hero position because of your speed in warez, your
      skill in ansi, and your eliteness. "  pOOg didn't know what to say, 
      he went from geek to supergeek in no time!  He was now a hero, but 
      who to save?  And from what?  
           Before he could finish pondering all of these thoughts a news
      flash interuppted his favorite show: " The Honeymooners ".  The
      news said: " Warning, Jerry-Curl has just escaped from Kingston
      penatentury.  He is considered armed and dangerous! ".  This was
      what he was chosen for!  Jerry-Curl, the lunatic who was responsible
      for ruining the Afro's of tens of thousands by adding Jerry Curl 
      juice to them was now running rampant once more!  pOOg knew the 
      hardships of growing an afro.  He had spent 10 long hard years trying
      to perfect his afro.  And now, it was at it's peak!  
           All of a sudden "Pant-ee-yum" screamed an alert, Jerry-Curl had
      been seen down the block, he was going to Curl all of the city's
      afros!  pOOg the Smelloman had to save the city from this evil being!
      But how?  Jerry-Curl was notorious for his Jerry-Curls, and one could
      slime you with a touch.  Just then, Jerry-Curl crashed through the
      window, scaring the shit outta pOOg.  pOOg was so shocked from this
      surprise attack that he fainted (stupid computer geek's always faint
      at everything).  As he awoke, he saw a big Jerry-Curl-Juice applier
      pointing at his wonderful afro!  He was tied!  What would he do?
      Tune in for the exciting conclusion of Little pOOg!  Next time in
      afrOzine!  Same afrOchannel!  Same afrOzine!  Will pOOg the
      Smelloman survive?  You'll have to wait until the next ish!


`;..;'  
$$a,.    .,a$$'
.;'   '    `   `;.
.,a$$'   Out'FRO'   `$$a,.
`   `$a,.  .,a$'   '
`$$'
   '`  

     Well, that does it for this issue.  Hmmm... kinda weird, but I
      guess it was ok.  This mag will _not_ be released on a regular basis
 but will be released again.  Check around for it during March or 
      early April, it should be out by then.  I'd like to thank all the 
      guys who helped in this emag, and to those of you who showed your
      support in the aftermath of the many unpopular emags, 'what up!'.
      If you're interested in writing something for the next issue of the
      afrOzine, get in touch with me and we'll work something out.  
       Until next ish, let that fro' grow, and party till you fuckin'
      die.  Ah yeah, Happy New Year! 1996, the year of the Afro!
 
-------------------------------------
 The 4Th Disciple presents afrOzine!
--(P"'"P$-$P"'"P$)$P"'"P$,-,$P"'"P$P-
   `  ,a$ $!,   ' $'   `$$ !$     $­
 ,$P"`"P$ $P$a,   $a,a," , !$     $­
 !$     $,$!      $$  '"$$ !$     $­
 !$a,.,a$ $$      $$,  !$$ !$a,.,aJ'
-`$P'`----`$------------`$-`$P'`4thds
 afrOzine?!?issOO#1?!?january1996?!?
-------------------------------------

      All opinions expressed in this mag are solely The 4Th Disciple's.  
      If you have been somehow disgraced, or otherwise, please Email me
      and we'll get things done.  'Virtual Artist' is fictional, and
      was only written for jokes.  It may be similar to some situations
      but isn't based on anything.
 

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