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              *      Spraying People with A Hose        *
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One of my favorite hobbies is spraying people with a hose. It is the best hobby
ever. This report is about the tips and techniques of spraying people with a
hose. You will learn the masters' expert techniques on how to sneak up on
someone and learn about different hose spraying techniques. You will also learn
about the different types of hoses and their strengths and weaknesses. We'll
start with a brief explanation on how to get someone.

The first step in drenching someone is to sneak up on them. The best place to
spray is when they are on the ground and you are at an elevated position with a
guard rail to hide behind, such as a porch. This way, you can jump up by
surprise when they're not looking and shoot them. Another advantage of this
position is that when they run, you can still spray them because you are up high
and the hose water can still go far before it hits the ground.

Another good position to spray someone is when they're boxed into a corner. For
example, they are out in the yard sunbathing by the corner of the yard. You run
in and spray them, making sure to spray both corners of the fence so that they
are intimidated and run in the opposite direction, where you spray. If you spray
them at first, they will dash away because they don't have a fear of getting hit
on the side.

Always scout the location before you spray so that you can devise a plan. If
they have food, avoid it at all costs, unless you want a fist in your face. Them
having a drink is a good thing for you. They will try to protect the drink by
getting themselves wet so that water does not get into the drink, unless they
are drinking water, then they will pour the water on you. A particularly bad
position for spraying people is when they are on a porch because they are
elevated and can run into the house, where it is off-limits. They might also
have water guns or buckets of water to retaliate hidden behind the rail.

If they have a hose and you have a hose you are going to take them by surprise
using evasive maneuvers. Run up to them behind and set the hose on full power.
Keep spraying them by running around them clockwise then counterclockwise,
reversing every few seconds. After about 15 seconds then you run away.

A more complex attack is when there are two people who you want to spray. The
objective here is to spray each person equally for a long enough time for them
to be thoroughly drenched. The plan: go to one side of them and spray. Just go
to a position where you can get them both in the same spray. You spray the hose,
and they run. The person closest runs to the side. The farthest person runs
directly away. Ignore the closest person, they have been soaked already. Go for
the person farthest away, they only got some of the original spray. Chase them
in a normal manner soaking them for a few seconds and get out of there. Once you
are done spraying everybody in any manner, put the hose away and steal the
nozzle. This way, they cannot spray you.

There are a few different types of hoses available. Some are excellent for a
sneak attack against two people. Some are better for long distance spraying.
This will go through the use and style of each nozzle.

The first type of nozzle is a nozzle with a standard hand gun shape. It has
trigger, barrel like most hoses. But it has a circular head about 3-5 cm
diameter. It has many small holes for the water to exit and it usually does not
give off lots of pressure. This hose is not recommended. It is great for
gardening and such, but it isn't great for spraying people unless there is a lot
of pressure or the person is small or weak.

The next nozzle is the standard non-adjustable pressured stream of water. This
is the most common hose nozzle. It is simple, and cheap. It has a trigger on the
back that you squeeze with your hand to fire. This hose is very good for single
fire because it is fast and powerful. Unfortunately, spraying two people at the
same time is a complicated task. It is too narrow to hit two people at the same
time. You would have to move the hose back and forth so that to cover two
people.

The final hose is my favorite. It is the adjustable nozzle. You can adjust it
either by twisting the front or by using different pressure settings an the
trigger. You can use wide spray for two people, or you can use the jet if you
want to puncture a hole in one persons' skin.

Now, the key to learning how to spray the hose is like Kung Fu, you learn it so
that you never have to use it.
