HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY RUN AWAY FROM HOME
BY: DIzzIE Ó2000!
This guide is written to help kids escape their parents. On with the show:
Preparation:
*Before you run away you need to take as much money and food (including water) as you can.
*You will also need a sleeping bag, or something to sleep on.
*Steal the money from your parents' wallet, but don't take any credit cards, as they are traceable. 
*Take all the food you want from the kitchen, also remember to take water.
*If you are running away with a partner arrange a place to meet and make sure that you both take all the necessary precautions and are careful not to be seen.
*Make sure you leave no evidence of where you are running away. However, you can leave misleading evidence, such as leaving a map in your desk drawer that has a highlighted path going in the opposite direction than where you are really going.
*You may also wish to take some sort of weapon for that "extra" protection. If your family owns a gun steal it, and remember to also steal plenty of bullets for it. If your family does not own a gun you can always take the biggest and sharpest knife from the kitchen, or if you have a dog you can take the dog with you, as people are more likely to stay away from you if you have a dog next to you, (especially if you give the dog some alka-seltzer pills, so it'll look like he's foaming at the mouth).
*If you have a bicycle or another mode of transportation take it with you. This will increase the chance that you will get farther. Don't take a car, or rather don't take your parents' car. If you do you will need to repaint it and switch the license plate number. So taking a bicycle is your best bet. You can also take a moped :). 
Timing:
*You need to run away when you will have the most time to run before your absence will be noticed. 
*You can run away at night as soon as your parents fall asleep, and you will therefore have the whole night to run.
*You can tell your parents that you are going to a friend's house in the middle of the day and say that you are sleeping over. This way you will have the other half of the day, the night, and the morning, to run. However this method is risky because your parents may choose to call you at your friend's house, and then your cover will be blown. 
*If your parents go on a trip and leave you home alone you can run away then. 
*Take a key to your house with you.
Running:
*When running away stay off the main roads, this will decrease the chance that you will be spotted. 
*Don't hitchhike! There are shitloads of pedophiles and other wackos out there.
*Make sure you tell no one about where you are going.
*Eat and drink scarcely, save money as much as you can.
*Find an isolated place to camp in. Possible locations include: in the midst of a national park, preferably in some secluded area. In an abandoned house, or one of those houses that serves as a "model" for the real estate agency, you can sleep in those houses at night, then get up early in the morning, hide your sleeping bag and leave, come back at night. Or you can watch houses in which people live, if you see a house that has a moving van in the driveway, or a car full of suitcases, that means the family is either moving away or going on vacation. You can sneak into the house and stay there until the family returns. Be careful, so as not to trip of any possible security alarms, and not to be seen by the neighbors. Use common sense while in the house: don't turn on lots of lights, if you can, don't turn on any lights at all. Don't turn on the tv or stereo on full blast, don't make any noise, and finally: don't leave any trace of your "visit".
*Avoid the fuzz as much as possible. That, unfortunately means cutting back on such fun activities as: arson, murder, robbery, etc…
*In the Preparation section I told you to take a key to your house. That was because you may need to return to your house to get more supplies, such as food, money, etc… Return to your house when you know nobody will be home, and make sure no one sees you!
*Don't stay in motels or hotels, if you do stay, stay for a short time (one or two nights only). Hotels will get suspicious of a kid staying at a hotel all alone.
*On special holidays stop by the local church or charity organization to get some free grub and other goodies. Don't stay long.
-end
Have fun kiddies!
Email me at: xcon0@yahoo.com
