so now your probably wondering.. why would i want to blow up a toilet??
well its pretty damn simple.. have you ever blown up a toilet? no?? well
then how do you know its gonna suck..?  just for the record i have shot
a toilet.. destroyed one with a baseball bat .. and thrown one to its
death but i have never blown one up.. this fourth of july all thats going
to change.. so here is a theoretical listing of ways to literally blow up
a toilet using common fireworks bought at your local stand..


first off you have to establish your target.. questions you should ask
yourself..

is this toilet in a gas station owned by phillips 66?

can i handle the social and political impact this will have on society?

do i have enough cash to pay for the fireworks and timer?


if the answer to all these questions is yes then read on..

first you need to buy your explosives.. i suggest 10 M80's.. which i know
are illeagal in a number of states but not all.. or 15 M60's.. next get a
roll of black tape.. then go to the grocery store and get an egg timer and
two nine volt batteries.. then go to your favorite hobby store and get a
package of model rocket  ignitor fuses.. then you need to construct the
device..

wrap all the Mwhatevers into one bundle like a big circle.. tie all the fuses
together.. if you have to get some twine and soak it in kerosene to extend
the fuses.. in the end you need to have one main fuse.. now set that
somewhere safe.. take the egg time and take it apart and look for the
hammer that dings the bell.. take a wire and connect it the hammer.. then
take another wire and connect it to the bell.. now set that aside.. take
the two nine volts and wire the + to + and - to -.. then tape them together
and take two wires and attatch one to each.. take the negative wire and
attatch it to one lead of the model rocket fuse.. take the other wire and
attach it to the wire from the hammer of the egg clock.. now attatch the
wire from the bell to the + lead from the battery.. CAUTION your device is
now armed.. carefully tape everything together .. in fact it would be a
good idea at this point to slip a piece of thick paper between the hammer
and the bell.. now take your toilet destroyer and place it on near in or
around the tank of your least favorite shitter.. set the timer for atleast
a half hour and dont be obivious in placement.. thats it leave and then wait
for the blast.. or hey get someone else to plant it and stop by for a pack of
smokes right on schedule..

please note.. if you go to jail for terrorist activity i did not tell you to
do this.. and i most certainly didnt say anything about phillips 66 and i sure
as hell didnt tell you that a bomb powerful enough to obliterate a toilet
could be built for less than 10$... alright? now get out there and kill kill
kill...

blizzard\six.blz