
NOW THAT THE 90S ARE OVER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

	Now that the 1990s are oever, we can drop many of the stupid
fads from that time.  It is a new century, after all.  So here is a list
of the stupid things from the 90's that we can stop listening to, or stop
watching, or stop doing, or stop saying.
	This list has only 10 items at this time, but they encompass a
lot of the total wrongness of the 90s.


1. Madonna
----------
	Actually, madonna is a product of the 80's but she appeared a lot
(more than anyone wanted) in the 90's.  Hey guys; she's over 40 now!
NEXT!


2. S.U.Vs aka Sport Utes aka minivans aka Bimbo Boxes
-----------------------------------------------------
	They block the view of legitimate drivers.  They encourage their
drivers to drive more aggresivly then they normally would.  The whole
entire "road rage" thing did not become a problem until the bimbo boxes
became so common.  And the gas miliage is terrible.  And they are
ugly.


3. N sync
---------
	This is one of those stupid annoying no talent sounds-like-shit
bands that just appears out of nowhere and spews really bad music all
over.  I don't know where they came from but can we send them back?
After all, they're so 90s, and we are done with the 90s.


4. Boyz to men
--------------
	This is another one of those stupid annoying no talent whining
90s bands.  They can't even spell "boys" correctly.  Enough of them!
After all, they're so 90s, and we are done with the 90s.


5. Political correctness
------------------------
	Say what you mean, mean what you say.
	Here is a list of P.C. phrases and to their English equivalents.
memorize them.  Correct the speaking/writing of others as often as you
can.


 Bullshit                            English
 ~~~~~~~~                            ~~~~~~~
 physically challanged               Handicapped
 My bad                              My fault
 s/he                                he or she
 value add                           usefulness
 rectify                             fix
 pre owned                           used
 proactive                           fast
 proactively                         quickly
 information systems specialist      computer operator
 application test analyst            software tester
 daytime running lights              total stupidity
 he has issues                       he has problems
 I take issue with that              I have a problem with that
 issues with this software           problems with this software
 compatibility issues                compatibility problems
   (remember: the only one who has issues is the collector of periodicals!)
 in hospital                         in the hospital
 team player                         slave
 quality assurance                   quality control
 software engineer                   computer programmer
 software developer                  computer programmer
 programmer analyst                  computer programmer
 develop software                    write programs
 intellectually challenged           stupid (or retarded, even)
 cerebrally challenged               retarded
 socially challenged                 nerdy
 vertically challenged               short
 athletically challenged             smart
 artistically challenged             colorblind
 vegan                               vegetarian
   A Vegan (pronounced "VAY gan") is someone from the Vega star system.
   The word was used as early as the 1950s in published works of science
   fiction (such as the "Cities in Flight" novels).  Because of that
   prior usage, pronouncing it "VEE gan" and using it to refer to a
   vegetarian is incorrect.
 customer care                       customer service
 server                              waiter or waitress
 waitperson                          waiter or waitress
 client server                       network computing
 Dodge caravan                       bimbo box
 minivan                             bimbo box
 SUV                                 bimbo box
 sport utility                       bimbo box
 vanagen                             bimbo box
 electronica                         synth music (or "electronic music")
 facilitate                          help
 facilitator                         helper
 architected                         made
 architectured                       made
 architecting                        making
 wetlands                            swamp
 s/he                                he
 spokeswoman                         spokesman
 handyperson                         handyman
 chairperson                         chairman
   Remember.  The chairman is a chairman even when she is a woman.
 leveraged                           used
 leveraging                          using
   Unless you are talking about physics or about a lever or about moving
   a heavy object, you should not use the word "leverage"!
 utilize                             use
 utilized                            used
 utilizing                           using
 oceania                             Australia
 geo-scientist                       geologist
 downsizing                          laying off (or firing)
 upsizing                            hiring (or re-hiring)
 magick                              magic
 vampyre                             vampire
 politically correct                 full of shit
 value add methodology
 holistic


	Those last two phrases have no meaning.  If you find yourself
using these words, you actually are saying nothing.  Cancel your
presentation.  Don't write that book.  Close your mouth.  Stop.


6. Day time running lights
--------------------------
	What moron came up with the idea of driving with your lights on
in the day?  DUH!  It's a bright sunny day, and you add the glare of
your head lights to the glare of the full sun?  That's stupid!
	For the stupider of you people, I'll use an analogy:  when you
walk in the day time (if you do - some people only walk where their car
can't go!), do you carry a lit flashlight?  No!!  Why!  Because you can
see fine and anyone who can't see you is so blind that the light would
help not at all!
	So don't drive with your headlights on in the day time.  Make
sure the next car that you buy can be driven with the lights off (ie -
don't buy a Volkswagon).  When you are driving and someone else is
driving along the road with their lights on, blink your lights on and
off rapidly to let them know that they are driving incorrectly.  It's
the civic-minded thing to do.


7. Ugly chicks
--------------
	Who told the women that thin eyebrows, black lipstick, flat
chest, and ribs showing was sexy?  All you women; eat something heavy
with meat in it and then go back to what women were doing in the late
70s and most of the 80s.  Your 90s styling is Wrong.


8. teletubbies
--------------
	Need I say more?


9. Grunge music AKA alternative music
-------------------------------------
	Ok.  Take some 70's rock, play it sloppier.  Make sure most of
the band members have small bits of facial hair (just sideburns, or just
a goatee).  YAWWWWWWN.  That is so  90s.


10. Martha Stewart
------------------
	Did we need some smarmy chick to tell us how to do everything?
No!  Ditch Martha, she's so 90s.


	The 90s are over.  Go find something to do.

