!!!!!!FREE MAGAZINES!!!!
By: DIzzIE              '99 

Hey kidz, so you wanna get that new playboy but you don't have the dough for it or you are just too young (haha) well don't worry….here are some ways you can get free magazines: 

1.	Smuggle 'n hide. You can always put the magz under your coat, but if that's to darn hard for you or you are too poor to have a coat you can either go and steal a coat or you can smuggle the magazines out in the newspaper. When you go to the store to buy the big-ass Sunday paper just stop on over by the magazine section and put one or two (or three or four) magz in the middle of it where all the brochures are. Then just go and pay the usual 1.50. So you save money, wont daddy be pleased.

2.	The ol' switch-aro.  For this you need to know a person who has a subscription to a mag you want. Once you find that one very special person you need to find out his name and his zip code. Also just to be safe get his address and fone number too. Now once you have all of that info call the magazine that he(or she, I certainly wouldn't want to offend anyone by only using male references all the time) has a subscription to and say you would like an address change. "They" will usually just ask you for your zipcode but it's good to have all the other shit just in case. So when the operator asks you for your new address you can give her your address or you can give the address of an empty house that has one of those mailboxes that don't have any locks like the ones most houses have, (you know the one you puked in after that wild party). 

3.	Trial and error. Lots of magazines have special deals where they send you the first issue for free and if you "don't like it" you keep the first issue at no obligation and just send back the bill marked "cancel." Well you can say you did send the bill marked cancel and you don't know what the hell happened and it's their fault. So you get to keep all the issues and they can't do anything. The worst thing they can do is tell you to send back the issues, but then you can again say that you allready sent them and then they must have gotten lost again……

4.	Search and you shall find. Go to a private house neighbourhood at night or whenever nobody is home and look through all of those mailboxes with no locks. You will probably find at least 1 or 2 magz that you like, then just keep coming back around the same day each month.

5.	THE VERY VERY VERY LAST RESORT. You should only attempt this method if you are really obsessed with getting free magazines. What you do is go and get a job at a magazine place. I heard that the writers always get the magazine they write for for free. 

Well that's the end of yet another masterpiece, as usual you can email me at xcon0@yahoo.com or fax me at 1-559-663-4067

Tootles everyone

-DIzzIE
