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                           Low Self Esteem Issue 15
                              "Computer Addicts"
                           Written By: Parker Lewis
                                Jul. 07th, 1997

                               [*] LSE NEWS [*]

  First Of All,  I'd Like To Say That You  Can Find Issues Of Low Self Esteem
On   The  Following  FTP  Site:  FTP://FTP.EText.Org/pub/Zines/LowSelfEsteem,
Thanks  To  The Operators  Of The  EText  Archives  For  Giving  This  T-File
Collection A Home.   You May Also Request  An Issue By Writing EMail To Me At
The  Following  Address:  PARKER_LEWIS@HOTMAIL.COM,  You  May  Send  Me  Mail
Concerning Comments,  Flames,  Or If You Want To Write Something For Low Self
Esteem.

                              [*] ARTICLE INFO [*]

  I've decided to  go back to my old alias (Parker Lewis),  Aphex Twin is too
cool of a name for me to use.   Ok about this release,  a couple of weeks ago
a guy here  in S. Miguel wrote two articles  about "Computer Addicts"  (as he
calls it).  The guy's name is Serial Link,  me and Serial go back a couple of
years, we were once friends,  but now we're foes,  maybe I'll write some more
about him in some other article, theres alot to say about him.   His original
articles are included in this archive,  have a  look at them and  have a  few
laughs (I sure did), I must warn you though, don't read them before a grammer
or spelling test, cause after you finish reading the articles your brain will
be a complete mess, I think that after reading his article your IQ will drop,
after  I read both articles I  couldn't write or talk correctly,  I'm warning
you now, SERIAL LINK'S ARTICLES MAY CAUSE TEMPORARY STUPIDITY.

  Anyways,  I'm writing this  article as a  reply to Serial  Link's articles.
Serial Link's articles were negative,  he made it sound like being a computer
enthusiast was something bad, well in this article, I'll be writing about the
positive sides to being a "computer addict".  Mixed in this article will also
be some rants on life, society and whatever other shit passes though my head.
I'll be  quoting some of  Serial Link's original text,  to do this,  I'll use
'>>' to represent text which was quoted.  All the text quoted will be written
as it is found on Serial Link's articles without any modifications or correc-
tions.

                              [*] THE ARTICLE [*]

So why isn't being a "computer addict" bad?   Well,  in my  opinion being  on
your computer is a good way to disconnect yourself from the rest of the world,
much like watching TV,  going to the movies or reading a book.   It helps you
to keep your sanity,  let's face it,  we live in a truely confusing  society,
full of worries, confusion,  madness, this is the "real world", the world Se-
rial Link says we should never forget,  in the "real world" you are a nobody,
along with millions of other nobodies who want to be somebodies, in the "Real
World" you have no control, society tries to turn you into what they want you
to be, teaching you only what they want you to know, not letting you be your-
self and explore your own path, everything is planned for you.  Not following
society's path will get you labeled as an outcast, and society will do every-
thing  possible to  disvalue your way of living  outside society,  and try to
bring you back into it's control.   Getting  back on topic,  in the  computer
realm you  can escape this monsterous  society by  entering  into a  new sub-
society,  a society where you follow your own path and do what you want,  the
computer realm is much like reading a book,  once you really get into it, you
can totally disconnect yourself from  reality and enter into a fantasy world,
a  world where you  are truely confortable in,  and where your  talents  show
their true potentials.  Computers are the gateway to this other world, compu-
ters will relieve the stress of everyday life,  give you something  to occupy
your time, give you something to look forward to after a long day,  computers
bring you enjoyment, computers allow you to express your talents, etc...

>> Other computer addicteds probably are called Phreaks because they pass
>> alot time in computer making anything useful for them and probably
>> computer for they are the same that a girlfriend.

>> If your computer is your best friend, you are now a phreak guy and you now
>> forgot the real world and for you see again the real things in the world
>> live you need anybody which are more friend than your computer is.

No,  I don't think thats true.   A person using a computer as a human substi-
tute?   I just quite  don't see it,  computers don't have a body or emotions,
they are unable to comunicate with you through language,  they do not possess
the ability to think as a living,  and conscience being, and they are incapa-
ble of reasoning,  these and other factors distinguish man from machine.   As
for someone  thinking of their computer as thier girlfriend,  they would have
to be one sick puppy.

>> I'm writting because i had a friend called SpEEd PhReak and this guy is
>> the most phreak computer i saw in all of my live

For the people that don't know,  he's talking about me,  my old alias used to
be Speed Phreak

>> because he was born in Canada, and now lives in S.Miguel AZoReS -Portugal-
>> in small village called Arrifes

Arrifes, S. Miguel,  Azores,  Portugal,  geez why don't you just give them my
address and phone number while your at it...

>> and he dont having alot friends and he talked more people in BBS than in
>> School!

Thanks alot for making me look like some kind of loser, does it really matter
if I talk to more people over the computer than in person, people are people,
it doesn't matter in which form you communicate with them.  Talking to people
over a computer does have it's advantages though,  in real life,  people tend
to sometimes disvalue what your saying do to your physical presentation, on a
computer,  they got nothing else to judge you on except by what you say,  and
not by how you look.

>> he pass 3 or 4 years of his live inside a small hall in front of computer,

WHAT!!!  I AM INSULTED!!!   HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!!   I spent much more time
then that in front of my computer :)

>> coding, cracking and making somethings that he likes but he never tell
>> people that he are a really computer addicted or a real Phreak!

I never  denied not being a computer "addict",  nor did I say  anything  that
contradicts this.   Computers are a part of me,  I've learned alot  from them
and  they've become a part of my live,  to abandon them would be a great loss
to  everything that I've worked  for all these years,  although I'd still  be
able to  keep on living,  I'd just be a little  confused until I  could  find
something else to orient my life by.  Does that make me a so called "computer
addict"?

>> =- Cultivate New Mind!? -=

Woah...  "Cultivate New Mind!?"  Serial is going all philosophical now... get
down... :)

>> When, i organize the Atlantic Scene'96 (1st Party in Portugal -AzOrEs-) my
>> girlfriend went one or two times in 4 days!!

Since when does a weekend have 4 days?

>> One day i was sick with a big problem and that problem isnt a simple
>> headache or a cold but a very danger of state of exhaustion!!! You know
>> what is it?

I know it well,  some times I do get in these states  of exhaustion and rest-
lessness when  I'm on the computer for too long.   When I get this way,  I do
something else,  read a book,  watch tv or whatever, within an hour, the pro-
blem passes.   Sometimes when I get in these states,  I do think about giving
computers up, and I do so for a couple of days, after which I seek my confort
and refuge back in my computer realm.

>> never forget the real world like me because if you forget it you are in
>> bad way as nobody knows you exist and you never can prove you are anything

I'd much rather forget the real world,  even though it's impossible.  Even if
you try your hardest to make it in the real world,  you are still seen as no-
thing by the majority of people,  drop off the face of the earth, and most of
the  people won't even  give a second thought about you,  your loss is  their
gain, their mentality: "One less person trying to get my share".   Human sur-
vival has become no different  then animal survival,  humans are dependent on
money to survive,  animals depend on agility and strenght,  for animals, it's
survival of the strongest, for humans, it's survival of the greediest.

Everyone wants to be better then everyone else,  they fight to be recognisted
as superior,  so that  they can feel  good knowing  that they're better  then
others, thus raising their status in the hierarquial (sp?) society.  I'd much
rather  sit at my  computer put my ego aside,  and just not worry about  such
things.

If your really into computers then there is  nothing to feel bad about,  it's
something that you like to do and you shouldn't let people try to change you,
if  people start talking  to you about the "real world"  then tell just  them
"fuck you and fuck your real world", thats what I would do :)   It's impossi-
ble  to totally escape from reality,  without the "real world" there would be
no base of comparassion, for example, let's suppose that in real life you al-
ways  feel like shit,  in your own world you feel good,  without feeling like
shit,  you wouldn't know what feeling good is like,  one can never experience
for example happiness without experiencing sadness,  if you never experienced
anything other then what is good,  you wouldn't get as much  enjoyment out of
it  as you do when you have something to compare it to,  it's all about comp-
arison and balance.

Well,  the article is done,  it didn't come out the way I  wanted to but then
again,  I'm never satisfied, aww well...   In the article, I write something,
then later on I probably write something that contridicts what I said earlier,
thats  the way I am,  my head is a fucken mess,  this is a by product of what
society has done to me, so much fucken confusion...

Before I go, I'd like to thank Sarah for inspiring me to keep LSE alive, I'd
also like to thank my dog Spike (my best and only true friend in this world),
and finnaly I'd like to thank society for being so shitty and giving me some-
thing to write about.

Future topics for LSE: music,  drugs, my adventures in the "real world", love
and ofcourse more spontanious cryptic rantings.

blah.... that's it, now get outta here, and leave me alone.... :)

                                                   -- Parker Lewis


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  Low Self Esteem Issue 15
     "Computer Addicts"
  Written By: Parker Lewis
       Jul. 07th, 1997

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