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INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.006
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Integral Functions is a bi-weekly electronic 'zine that encourages both
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00000001  Poems: March 09, 1996

00000010  an story loife of
          
00000011  PINKPOP (Scrunched Face; ASCII)

00000100  Mother of Man

00000101  Schiz-speak

00000110  Major Symptoms of Schizophrenia

00000111  PSYCHOLOGICAL SOUP

00001000  you wanted everything you have everything

00001001  muffins

00001010  STRAWBERRY CHAP-STICK

00001011  w H E R E . l i t e / r e f l e c t $

00001100  +o for j3r3my

00001101  UNTITLED/UNFINISHED

00001110  Copyright & Submission Information

{=========================================================================}

Gideon Hartwell
Poems: March 09, 1996
---------------------

ONE.

the object (this is what
they have reduced her to)
fills too many of my
empties. i subconsciously
hope that an overdose will
teach me. want is misery.
cold turkey is impossible.
re-sculpt my memory.

-----

TWO.

divine it is, in elegance it
creeps. something not wanting me
to believe is its tendency
towards parasitic behaviour. is
it sure of what it wants, or
will it change its mind moments
later? makes you want it, in
lusting stupidity, go trundle
forward in continuity. smitten,
paralysis sets, i have written
this horrible mess.

-----

THREE.

we floundered
on tuesday
with exquisite
grace,
coca-cola
headstamps
coming out to
play,
cross-border
shoppers in
desolate
crowds,
pregnant oil
slicks catch
me off
guard,
hoping i
won't see
through his
glass.

-----

FOUR.

how elegant,
potato chips and
champagne (straps
pulled up; thank
you). if i was
your wife, i
certainly would
be jealous.

-----

FIVE.

the saturday shop windows were so
                 unconditioned at seeing me
             but they didn't realize
  my plan
  you see
             i gathered sudden interest in
             what i don't need

                 'hey look at that'
as i stare at your
                 reflection beside mine
             (safely)

             you thought strange.

-----

{=========================================================================}

an story loife of


that whats he said tome. i mean, what kinda perosn would toid that sort
of thin.g  who doesnt like a goopunch inthe nuts now and then i mean, so
what if you dont perform acts from other countriess and dont like to
hihgbeam balnacne and sqeeze rubberboolams fullof whip cream and pez
candies that hve meeb crushed into powd4r by little hcildren with big
heave wooden sppons on tuestdy. so i called him up and he wasnt home but
he momanswered and i blwee w a shiwhtle ikn her here pfffffffft! it went
lowdyly. thats how ai doesn't.

it isnt ready yet he dtodl me so i left it in the ofven for another half
anhour and it caought fire so we put it out. what if uking ideot. i saw
him squirting lighytter fluid all over the thing, but i didnt want to say
anything for fear of gttitng in trubule myself.

asiwas saying, sabout owoden spoons. the axe twiiwrls in the air and gets
jammed into the side of somesort of cogovernment builidng or something and
he pullsit out and sayshes sorry and they forgive him.  no chargess were
laid. whata luckyfuck he is. i rememmber when once i went and i accident
ally burnded down a national park cuz i was ocooking weenies fr the kids
scouts and the whohle thing jsut went whhosh and red hot flame stuff
all over.

it wasno on chirstmas day 1980when i was 6yers old, and i had gotten a fis
her price constructionsite playset for a givft given thing. it was all
moteriszed and everyhitng. i always think about thatday. that was the yer
my borther gave me a dstuffed monkey not real one for chirshttmas too.

a fewyears latter my fammily took a trip to montreal and it was summer
the time of year when its prttyyt hot out. we ent into theis souvinger
shop in the hirstorical part of the city i think its all ihistrical
actually nuty anyway there wasthis toysoldier that i wanted mom to buy
foer me, and she wouldnt so ic ried then she bought it. i hate kids too.

then when i was 13 we and the family when i was little whent to florida
driving it reallly wantsnt good becuzz there awas no seat belts it in the
car so we alsway got pulled ovver and had to pay about a dozen fines be
for we ever gott to florida. sowe coudlnt afford to get into disnaly
world but we did hang out in a lot of bars and stufflike that.  i spent
most of that vacationin the hotel room. eating hunnynut cheerios and
puking blood.

now im old and stuff. yeha put it.  there isnt really much to tel from
there, so youc an call go happm home now. get out of therehere. here.
i want ot be alonewiht my wrinkeles.

{=========================================================================}
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.....,:+tYXYXRRBBRRRt++=....:=ii++iii+=II=:......;i+...=iIIIIIt+=++ittitttt
......,=itIVRXXXXXVIt+=;:,..+RMBV=;.........==;=i,.....,,;i++itt+++=itttItt
.......:=++YYYItttIti+==::,.iY...........,:;,.........,::;===++i+=+=+iiiiii
..........:;ittiiii+=;;;;;;.+=.....,ii=;;,...........,,;;:;;+i+==;==++iiiii
...........,;=====+++==;;;;:i+;,.....................,:;;;;+iii++i;i++=+++i
...............,,:;=;;;;;==+=i=;,...,............=+itti++itiIttttttt+i+==;=
...................,,:::;===;=;;;;;;:;;:,:,:;;==;=====+==iiit+iIttii==+::::
{=========================================================================}

                               "Mother of Man"
                            (White, 1964, p. 514)

               This creation in which we live began with a
               Dominant Nature as an Identification Body of a
               completed evolutionary Strong Material creation
               in a Major Body Resistance Force.  And is
               fulfilling the Nature Identification in a life
               Weaker Material Identification creation in which
               Two Major Bodies have already fulfilled radio
               body balances, and embodying a Third Material
               Identification Embodiment of both.

{=========================================================================}

"Schiz-speak"
(Cameron, 1947, pp. 446-467)

Q: Why are you in the hospital?
A: I'm a cut doctor, donated by double sacrifice.  I get two days for every
   one.  That's known as double sacrifice; in other words, standard cut
   donator....
Q: Well, what do you do here?
A: I do what is known as the double criminal treatment.  Something that he
   badly wanted, he gets that, and seven days' criminal protection.  That's
   all he gets, and the rest I do for my friend.
Q: Who is the other person that gets all this?
A: That's the way the asylum cut is donated.
Q: But who is the other person?
A: He's a criminal.  He gets so much.  He gets twenty years' criminal
   treatment, would make forty years; and he gets seven days criminal
   protection and that makes fourteen days.  That's all he gets.
Q: And what are you?
A: What is known as cut donator Christ.  None of them couldn't be able to
   have anything; so it has to be true works or prove true to have
   anything, too.... A double sacrifice is what is known as where murder
   turns, turns the friend into a cut donator and that's what makes a
   daughter-son.

{=========================================================================}

Major Symptoms of Schizophrenia

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Symptom                         Examples
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Strange thought patterns       - Weird speech
                                - Unusual associations
                                - Illogical connections

 Fantasy not distinguished      - Hallucinations -- visual, auditory
  from reality                  - Delusions of grandeur, persecution
                                - Irrational beliefs -- martians, strange
                                  religions

 Inappropriate affect           - Laughs or cries suddenly without reason
                                - Laughs at sad story
                                - Shows little emotion; blank expression

 Bizarre behaviour              - Strange gestures
                                - Public sexual acts -- masturbation, nudity
                                - Jumps around, dances

{=========================================================================}

"PSYCHOLOGICAL SOUP"
(Sascha S Serebrum)

gray clouds, dead landscape
machine mobile carriage carry me to and through
fear of what's to come and what's been done (gone bye)
ac(he-)rid acidic ache(-rid)
(passenger) driv(en)ing towards destined destination
outside window watching image move(ming)

doctor specializing in dementia demention diagnosement(ation)
"this is the place"
office complex conglomeration
cement glass plastic(z) steel
<enter>
(mechanic) door-way ("hey!"-)bell (tone) announces (ding-dong)
<sit>
form(alitie)s filled (and filed)
main event beings motion (skull roll)

"I'm doctor X, but I hope you'll feel comfortable calling me Jonathan"
"uh.. hi Jonathan" <chuckle>
i am psychologically liquified (mental break[en-]down),
and ran through a gener(al)icly un-unique strainment(al) system
sifting sorting determining (diagnosing)
by basic question collection means
"palpating heart" <chest thump demonstrate> "emotional abuse"
"yeah yeah yeah"
strainment seperation creation solidifies into mi(e-)nute(ure) (psy)c(h-)ubes
(most turning out quite ['perfect square'] cube-ly well [with exceptions] )

"well, I can clean you up somewhat..... that's for sure..... and tell you
 what you're made of..... but the stains and scars aren't removable..... it
 it would be like trying to separate YO from U... and I certainly can't do
 that..."
"you just did"

standard procedure
always the same(ilar)
sortables sorted through session(al) series
(dirty/damaged cubes cleansed/repaired)
diseases determined and destroyed
(with appropriate phsych-ammunition)
return (more) control of self (controls) to self
"help!"

{=========================================================================}

you wanted everything you have everything
(Freepost_Five)

original begged person beautiful surprised
branch tore apartment deep explained box brain cell
energized australian clapping squeezed excited 
dwindled process heavy housemaid instructions
seized riddle intimidating entangled coat sighted
breast curled ticking disk dragged house fight
unacceptable mounted brightened architect roaring
law viking groaned largest toasted hole steel charming
fondled frightened swelling banana button informative
energized microscopic accident unorganized picture 
johnny professional hurricane expressed country 
patted excited entwined poor shouted squeezed 
satisfied armour baby wrinkled lifted bible coconut
breaking floated pond unused rubber gloomy balanced
wandering sneezed question decisive roaring 
frilled oppressors virtual perverted onlookers relented 
inadequate riddle mistake apartment sailed crashing
unfastened unrolled legged seat belt consumed cooked
pseudo atheist interrupted chanted girl cunt talkative 
chef careless mad explosion raped blade merrily
sensation bedsheets bright passionate calculation
engraved aardvark unlocked normal magnificent
excellent telescope assumed fidgeted unfolded water 
interested crumpled worked cement interesting iron
blondes penis wire hideous knocked stamped sultry
pleased crawled random probable stepped duplex allowed
sneezed rigid lawn tattered knave chattering astonished 
entertaining disgusted gazed picture dwindled chattering
straight diesel uncorked lumpy picked hungry kindness 
musical cleaned destination nice stomach megaphone camel 
delivered energy lit rigorous stumbled island settled
government chrome technological person scraped wasted
laughing trampled homosexual imaginary joyful noticed
explained brother invited cleared dust edge healthy timid
wicked sky complicated built blizzard bandage dressed
congenial distressed exhausted failed teenager ferocious
puzzled pleased stereo chattering connection landed lawn
caused system officer game galloped washed abolished
steel invented unwanted engrossed sauntered denied  
woman warranted ventriloquist beautiful disposable
feeble nylon impassible energy trickled lingering
rigorous remarked gigantic scolded silence amusing
lovable stamped rapped brunette annoyed cheated crocodile
muffin assistant dreamily teeth stereo inadequate
finished inspired abrasive hair hard drive original vexed
tall punished city shoe future frilled rumour gentle god
mixed crowded room stuffed worried described tore all

{=========================================================================}

muffins

in my seriousness, i divide paranormal
integers, eating the remainders for
dessert.  no cherries please.

without diagnosis, i wander into stray
sewage pipes, following their path away
from the comfort and ideal of the suburbs,
eating jelly doughnuts that zip by
on a subterranean clothes line.

today i maintain an ideal organic compression
ratio, and i am portable beyond all
belief.  i am so portable..

microscopic.

right now, i feel like a collection of
phlegm being hacked up the throat of
an infected giraffe.

what do the lions think, i wonder.

without my emotions (lost during compression),
i am indifferent, and i do not enjoy or
loathe my current scenario.

perhaps yesterday was better.
                             
"do your bran muffins contain lead?"

"every single one, of course."

"good.  i'll take two dozen."

with the bag in hand, herbert skipped
along the sidewalk, devastating the
helpless ant population in his
path.

they all thought the world was ending,
that fine morning.  but then again,
the world almost ends several hundered
times each day.  so fuck it.

end.

{=========================================================================}

"STRAWBERRY CHAP-STICK"
(Leo X)

skin dying away slowly over days
deter by light, iate by night
flesh cells rot dead by flake congregates
(fall down ground)
mass surface drought infection infliction
genoc(l)id(i)e

CHAP-STICK TO THE RESCUUUUUEEE!!!!!

scented wax pastes face one piece
softy silkly straw(-)berry (goo) glue
plastic(k) raise able spew tube
moistens and scents good too

it does not, however, make a pleasureable taste trEAT

{=========================================================================}

w H E R E . l i t e / r e f l e c t $
(Astrix Beauton)


!...the point is,",, mr. jargon (pro-
nounced with a french accent, like
"garcon") said, "is

that we haven't...    in all this time
on this planet/, we have

(not) not

realized just how FUckED up/we
really
are."             as he said this, the

road (that was ONCe fyrm'n'adequate),,,
bubbled, and atrophied before
!them.

edward   corrected him.

"no.. you see mr. jargon (>garcon!),,
ever synce the beginning of tyme,,
mankind has   known

how
FuCKEd
up it rilly iz, but since (then) then,
wee have bin (been) in denial."


poLLy overheard the convers-
ation (all the way from the
silicon forest, where she
existed in solitary
unity with her clone) with
her lubric-
ated   eardrumz,


[scanning...21% compleat_]


and chuckled quietly to her SELF.
(and not to n-e-1 else, not even
her clone),,


["...denial.  this phase is
endless."]


her(E) wrists/were bleeding; st-
aining the already staine-
d werld  (world), adding to its

               rilly (really)

ancient patina of pop culture, and re-
vitalized post-neo anecdotes.

"my blood iz the future," poLLy said,
not (knot) realizing that her voice was
amplified, #and internationally

   echoed/.

every 1 heard (herd) her cry.  "they've
heard me!" she moaned,

/(they heard that too)!.


{poLLy was infected with n~$.<lg+a}


monsieur. jargon^ and his paRTner,
edward, followed tha

stained ri-ver, and;found poLLy @ the
so-
urce (she was the source%)..

edward, whom was -- for reasons we will
not
get
in
to -- attracted to the

       blood and (&) tears, spoke:  "er,
what iz yer name, madame?"  (edward was
from france, and he was not

rude.  he spent his summers in
london, where he inhaled a const-
antly metamorphing sub-cultuRe).;


this was poLLy's debut encounter with
real people%.

her algoritms were re-con.figured inst-
antly.*

"my name is (iz!) ~polly@regret.com,"
she said,
as the river congealed.  somewhere,
in a distant sub-
routine, deep in her heart, a re-
initialization      pr0cedure

!failed.

(sys!ERROR: softwarez not compatible!)

her last words (hexadecimal values,
projected onto a primitive [binary]
landscape);, were     not

properly converted;
but

even those words that were not
words    were lyrical and
orgasmic.


[virus id: n0stalgia]


she dyed (no, she died^)!, only to
become immortal and digitized.  her
beautiful corpse stands on display;

   {not encased in glass, but on a
pedestal in the centre of the cham-
ber,   so that visitors to this

museum can touch her'; and feel the
future.. - her thighs are worn and
grubby, where children have placed
their innocent phalanges - }

..with light reflecting upon it,
plastic and forgotton.

()the world becaME a scab that
could not heal, caught
in an endless (citpylacopa)
loop./


[press ENTER to continue..]


yellow stripes and potholes
guide me through this tesseract;.0
where

edward walks before me, snapping
my twigs of consciousness.

"my name is (iz!) ~polly@regret.com,"


65 4E 64 2E

{=========================================================================}

   +o for j3r3my
   (Jobie3; nov 13/95)


   his ops been stolen, cuz
   he was a little t00 friv. with
   his power;.,

   his power is given and taken
   away with silent keystrokes
   on the other side of
 
   the globe (strobe),,

   j3r3my is the monkey in 
   the medulla, watching

   as power passes over his head,,.

   he's got no ops.

   wanting control in a silicon
   chamber..
   master of 
            idiots.

   weez in da house!

   fuck you.

   this shit.



   {
   I wrote this poem after I realized how stupid IRC chat was.
   People just sit there and wait for someone to say something, to
   start a meaningless thread of conversation, until it is thrown
   out of wack by someone else who enters the channel.
   Everyone is talking but not saying anything...Fighting for
   'ops' (control of the channel), etc.  It's a shithole if you
   ask me.  It's like, blah.  This paragraph is longer than the
   poem itself, so...no point.  Lame.
   }


{=========================================================================}

  UNTITLED/UNFINISHED
  by Firstname Lastname
  (March 3, 1996)



  "I THOUGHT that this is whAT

   you wanted!"                                         A PAUSEturn
                 backfromhim awaylooking outwindow, tear down cheek


          it
             runs sadly.  look starting to snow out there: wilder-



        [laketrees w a t e r notfrozenyetitisnt b u t thepondis]

  (animals + environment)
           ness.              <L.H.O.O.Q.>
                              howcanyoubethinkingabout
                              sexatatimelikethis?
                                               [this scene reminded her
   of a soap opera.]
                               <sniff&wipeface>
                               "This is what I thought I wanted..."
     h e a d d o w n


     HE DOESN'T
     SAY ANYTHI
             NG.


                      laterwords: "Doesn't our relationship mean anything
                      to you?!" 

  <bothofthem have a STRONG desire to

                 throw something>

                      "Of course it does!"  <she starts boo hoo hoo'ing>

            
       ... I haven't decided what happens
             next.  I don't want to
        take


         that sort of literary responsiblility: I'm not good with
     relationships...fictional


      or otherwise.

{=========================================================================}

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INTEGRAL.FUNCTIONS.006
dd/mm/yy = 30/03/96
file_siz = 023k

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