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                     MLiR - A New Way Of Looking At Life

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Contents...

01 - Editorial                   - DaN aBNoRMaL
02 - The MLiR Policy             - BaroN
03 - 31337 #/p/4 4r7!c13         - BaroN
04 - Wonderful Salt              - BaroN
05 - Newbies                     - DaN aBNoRMaL
06 - A Kid Called Jonas [Part 2] - DaN aBNoRMaL
07 - You aRe a LaMeR             - DaN aBNoRMaL
08 - Drive-Ins                   - DaN aBNoRMaL
09 - The MLiR Guide To Phreaking - DaN aBNoRMaL
10 - Who Broke The Toilet?       - BaroN

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Before we begin... we gotta a little someting to say to y'all...

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Editorial

Welcome once again to another issue of MLiR, yes we're up to our third issue
now!, gee how time flies. Hmmm sorry if there was too many irc logs last time
but we had a huge amount of them (about 1 meg) and decided to use em all,
there should only be about 1 or 2 every issue now, so if you don't like em
then you need not worry! So far response from MLiR has been average to
reasonable, more response from the people from irc so thats ok I spose, I
actually had one guy bowing to me every time I entered the channel! anyway
enough elite bragging about ourselves, we're not like those other zines that
claim to be "elite" or even the hilariously named "Pica" that I've seen one
mag talk about, we prefer to call it Bum-Pica. Woo, the editorial is getting
longer, oh well gives me a chance to rant about stuff we don't like or
disagree with. I'm proud to announce that we had our first complaint! yes you
thought it couldn't be done well it has and it was what you elite people
would call "lame" he said:
"mlir...what a sad.. sad mag"
why?
"well its not h/p/a"
Oh dear that really is an example of all these stupid stuck up elite people
who think they are the greatest and no one can match them, well up yours
you're probably another computer geek who thinks he is tough cos he can
use a beige box or knows the ingredients of gunpowder, I mean whats the use
of knowing the ingredients of gunpowder? what you gonna make some gunpowder
so you can make a pipe bomb? why dont you just buy some fireworks and blow up
a phone box you tossers? They say knowledge is power, well not all knowledge,
not destructive power, the real power is the power of the mind, the mind can
do anything, to learn the power of telepathy so you can control your enemies
mind is way more powerful, so theres a lesson to all you geeks <oops i mean
"elite"> owell I guess you already knew that you losers. On another note, we
are proudto say that JuLeZ has joined MLiR, we hope that his poor
capitilisation will spur us on to greater heights, he will be doing articles,
ansi/ascii sometimes. So sit back and enjoy MLiR #3 and we hope it is as
much fun to read as it was to make. And now, heres BaroN.. <bam bam bam>

+* Note *+ the opinions of DaN are probably those of BaroN, Phorte and JuLeZ

DaN aBNoRMaL
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The MLiR Policy

We here at MLiR are not about bringing you heaps of information about h/p/a.
Our aim is to bring you something funny that is practical but not complicated
We are not going to give you a whole heap of shit about boxing or our
greatness. If people who think they are elite have a problem with this then I
have a simple solution, DON'T READ IT or write your own zine about whatever
you are interested in. I am no hacker or phreaker i am just a guy with a few
simple ideas who likes to cause a bit of chaos now and again. I have no
interest in people in the scene just reading this, this zine is for all.
Hopefully we will be incorporating some ansi, music, into MLiR and making it
a diskmag if we can find a competent coder. Any feedback would be appreciated
..ummyoucan contact DaN on IRC ifyoucan find him and chances are that his
nick will be [DaN] with the brackets. I also might be found on IRC under
Baron or BaRoN probably on the australian server. So ifyoufind us give us
some feedback.

BaroN
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31337 #/p/4 4r7!c13

Fucken hell who wants to buy me a new modem??? anyway now thats been said its
time for my next issue of MLiR. Its been a while between issues. I could say
i have been busy but that would be a load of shit i just havn't bothered.
I've been spending my time on IRC lately causing a bit of a shit stir when i
can. You wouldn't beleive how many gays there are on there. Besides from that
there are also alot of wankers..If your ever on the oz server then keep and
eye out for me...... Not that i am on very often. Ifyouthink i don't have an
account thern there is an easy way to fix that. This has been done many times
and i definatelly didn't think of this i just know about it. First get the
number for oz email .. Then a credit card generator...then ring up with your
modem and givce em some fake details and your fake credit card number..Now u
should get a temporary account...Note try to only do this on Sundays and
Public Holidays or very late at night as if they are watching and you get
traced or somethingyouare gonna get in a lot of shit. Ewwww yuk i feel like
shit but anyway..

BaroN
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Wonderful Salt

While DaN, JuLeZ and me where driving through the hills today i discovered a
new trick. We reached our destination and where hungry so we went to the
local fish and chips shop and took a seat and some tables inside the
establishment. While we waited for our $2.60 worth of chips DaN produced some
women's day from behind him and i opened one up and began to read. Soon
getting bored of this i thought of a trick. There was a sugar or salt
container/shaker thingy on the table. I quickly proceded in filling some
pages up with the salt and turning the pages. This way throughout the
magazine spine and book there was salt i then carefully put the magazine back
on the shelf for the next person. Now next time the person grabs the magazine
and reads it, especially if they are standing up they will be covered in salt
:) and it will be all over the floor. Could be interesting to see the owners
face when this happens. Oh well it was funny at the time. Also another idea
in the hills is to slow right down where there are double barrier lines so no
one can pass you as you go at a pace that would even anoy old people.

BaroN
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Newbies

While on irc the other day, i happened to come across a newbie who wanted to
know how to hack, seeing that i dont know how i thought i'd have some fun
with him :)

<seoulbill> are you hacker?
> did you watch the movie "hackers"?
<seoulbill> yes
<seoulbill> very interesting.
> i thought so
<seoulbill> explain how to hacking?
<seoulbill> do you know how to haking?
> first step is to type 31337

well it is the first step towards being elite :), at that point i closed
down the chat hoping he would go away, but no he was persistant to learn the
art of hacking..

<seoulbill> 31337
> you're learning
> p#33r m3
> now type that
> type that to everyone you talk to and they will think you are a hacker
<seoulbill> p#33r m3
<seoulbill> right?
> yeah

hehe he is learning quickly the art of hacking...

<seoulbill> i'm new in hacking
> couldnt tell

now to give him some confidence boost to make sure he believes the following
lies...

<seoulbill> how many times were you hacking?
> 31337 times
<seoulbill> wow

but wait! theres more...

<seoulbill> really good programmer?
> yeah
<seoulbill> respect you.
> werd

and more

<seoulbill> working now. or student?
> student
<seoulbill> what year in?
> 12
<seoulbill> your age?
> 13
<seoulbill> kidding me?
> no, i went up 3 grades
<seoulbill> oh my god!
> its true
<seoulbill> where are you now?
> at home
<seoulbill> which computer ?
> laptop

well the year12 part is right...

<seoulbill> whose computer?
> i stole it
<seoulbill> kidding me?
> nah
> me and a friend broke into telstra and got one

and thats where it ended....

DaN aBNoRMaL
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And now its time for....

A Kid Called Jonas

* Part 2 *

after Jonas had finished killing the doctor, he pulled up his pants and
walked out onto the road, he thought he'd go see a movie...

"The Elite" said the title of the film as the opening credits scrolled down,
Jonas was sitting in the back row at Greater Union, there was only four other
people in the theatre, so he thought he'd be able to get a few good spanks of
the monkey while he was at it. The film was very interesting <according to
Jonas>, it was about a group of elite soldiers, who had to break into a top
secret military complex somewhere in the nevada desert <yep another one>.
Anyway, the soldier all thought that they were very cool and great and thats
how they got the name "elite" now at this point Jonas was brooding over his
greatness and how he killed the doctor, then it dawned on him!, his
fingerprints would be on the doctors neck!, he looked at his hands and gasped
a sigh of relief when he saw he was wearing gloves. "Good thing I was wearing
gloves when I killed him!" said Jonas thinking out aloud once again. He
noticed a few people looking at him very strangely, "uh.. I mean... heheh get
it killed him if I was a mad elite warez kid that is... uhh i... gotta go"
and he quickly ran out of the cinema and onto a waiting bus.

"You have to pay buddy" said the fat busdriver to Jonas
"p#33r m3!" screamed Jonas as the passengers on the bus watched in horror as
the once fat busdriver collapsed into a pile of mush just at the sound of
those horrifying words. "I'm taking control of this bus now" screams Jonas
as he pulls down his pants lets a ripper fart go off, making half the people
on the bus throw up at the stench and then the other half throw up because of
the vomit fumes.

Jonas didn't let anyone off the bus until they got to the petrol station,
Jonas being the stupid one that he is, left the door open while he filled up
the tank, and 20 lucky people managed to escape and then called the police
to warn them of the problem. Little did they know that the president of the
united states had be made aware of the situation as soon as their extra
secret spy satellites picked up the detection of the melting busdriver...

                            To Be Continued

DaN aBNoRMaL
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You aRe a LaMeR!

Yes you, i'm talking to you, you rate a 10 on my lame-o-metre!
Wow-ee lamer is an often used word nowadays in the computer world, a world
which is ruled by the so called "eLiTe" or as we prefer "31337" where
anything goes and newbies and most people are actually afraid of these so
called elite. Why? cos its been put into your minds that these h/p/a/v/c/shit
etc "experts" can destroy your computer or that they are better than you, of
course we all know that man was created equal so in other words, the elite
are no better than anyone else, they just think they are. Sure someone with
the knowledge of dos prompting on bbs's might be a bit dangerous <i know a
guy who can very easily, watch out my enemies> but more or less they aren't
any better than us on the big scale.
Hmmm, lets get out the dictionary for a meaning of the word "elite"...
"select group of people, the richest, best educated, most powerful people in
society"
hmmm how are these elite computer geeks selected? by their collection of h/p?
even i have a fair amount of those sort of files and lots of people do. Whats
next? The Richest - well the dicitonary would be referring to money i spose
but these elite are meant to be rich in information? what sort of information
i hardly call information for ingredients of gunpowder powerful, i mean just
go to your library and look it up, its not hard to do... Best educated? erm..
half of them cant spell and have no idea of the rules of capitilisation <btw
mine is intended as a sort of payout :)> what next most powerful people in
society, yes well.... depends on what makes up power really now doesn't it?
Well anyway getting back to the "world" that these "elite" rule, hmmm the
world is that of the sitting on a chair infront of a monitor for large
amounts of time, d/ling h/p/a files from their favourite "underground" bbs
woo sounds like fun, of course theres more to being elite than just gathering
files now isn't there? of course the first rule of being elite is the rule of
the lamer, anyone who stands up to you or says something one word out of
place or someone you just dont like, you call them a "lamer", well thats a
big thing to do isnt it? wow i got called a lamer, you hurt my feelings i'm
never gonna amount to anything now. I could go on irc and find some well
known elite dood and call him every name under the sun and it wouldn't make
me any better or him any less of a person, sure i'd prolly get banned from
every h/p/a channel etc, but they're all boring anyway with their blue boxes
and beige boxes etc etc, maybe phreakers have really good fashion sense?
Thats the best thing about the internet you see, you can call anyone a name
and its not gonna matter cos they're on the other side of the world or in
another state, so they cant beat you up, and if they were able to know where
you live then they are computer geeks so are probably too scared to go out in
public because they have the fear of being laughed at by "cool" people.
Another thing, why do they charge money for their h/p/a board? i thought the
hacker ethic was something like "information wants to be free", why charge
money then? yeesh, you're stupid. Same goes with warez traders who only want
to trade, how is anyone gonna start warez if they only trade for other games?
of course you could always give em a fake ftp site or something :)

DaN aBNoRMaL
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Drive-Ins

Hmmm, drive ins - very interesting inventions and also can be a lot of fun if
you know what i mean :) Now these drive-ins are always places of humour, the
trick is, you have to find the humour - or one better, create it. First of
all you line up behind all these other people waiting to pay your $15 or
whatever, but wait, here is the first trick - if you're strapped for cash or
just wanna do something different, ok , now depending on the drive-in, there
might be a spare block of land behind the drive-in or a carpark or something
if there is, then just drive in there and hopefully the screen will be
visible. Now you wont get any sound, but you could always try nicking a
speaker box or try wiring it up to the car stereo or something like that.
Ok, you've paid your money, and you're now driving around the place trying to
find a park, don't turn off those lights just yet, put em on high-beam to
annoy anyone who is watching the movie.
Now, if you park and find out that the person next to you has taken two
speaker boxes, then wind down the windows and either 1. ask nicely for the
box, or 2.yell abuse at them until they give it over maybe beeping the horn
will get their attention.
Of course, the thing to do when you find a park is to take BOTH speaker boxes
to annoy anyone else parking next to you.
Ok, you've parked, got both boxes. What next? ah keep those lights on for a
little bit now, hopefully you're sitting behind someone so it'll shine into
their car, maybe if you're lucky you'll see some young couple going for it.
Now when you are watching the movie, try to be quiet - if its a good movie
that is. But if its terrible then go for it, make a heap of noise, flash the
lights, beep the horn. If there's a girl in the car (what do you mean there
isn't?) then pretend to be having sex, or if you're daring, then do the real
thing.
Ok, almost last is the intermission, when its all quite and they're playing
some crappy elton john song, then start up a choir of car horns, it also
helps of you're horn is louder than anyone elses. It worked last saturday
soon we had plenty of people beeping, with some people right at the front
just keeping the horn on for a minute or so.
Last of all, when you're exiting don't hesitate to be agressive, maybe a few
more beeps of that horn could help, just don't do it to the wrong person, ie
some big wog in a kingswood with his girlfriend who you can't see cause she
is busy with his pecker. And after the drive-ins then i'll leave it up to you
what you do after that, maybe some chatting up the mcdonalds drive-thru girls
or something...

DaN aBNoRMaL
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The MLiR Guide To Phreaking :)

Ok, its time for the MLiR Guide to phreaking, this is for all you "lamers"
out there who want to know how to phreak, it might also be of reference to
you elite phreakers who think you know everthing. I showed this to Phiber
Optik and he was surprised at the article and bowed to me calling me elite.
First of all, the main point of phreaking is to gain phone calls for free...

STEP 1: Ok, you wanna make a phone call, BUT you don't want to pay for it,
this is the most important step if you want to phreak.

STEP 2: Now that you have decided on the above, walk outside - NOTE - You
will not need any special electronic equipment to make the free call...

STEP 3: Ok, the next step is to walk up to your next door neighbours front
door. Now knock and when they answer, ask if you can use their phone,
explaining that your phone is out of order.

STEP 4: Make the call, when you are finished hang up and leave saying thanks
on the way out.

Yes thats it!! You have just done your first phone call for FREE!! doesn't it
feel good? There are other ways of course, you could commit an offense and
get sent to jail, where they let you have one free phone call, the infamous
Phiber Optik used this method once before. Also another method is to work
for Telstra or Optus that way they give you free phone calls, imagine it - 
your whole life would be just one big PHREAK!.

Now its time for some definitions of the terms that phreakers use:

PHREAK: Means to obtain a phone call for free or someone who wears daggy
clothes, runs a h/p/a/c/v bbs, walks funny and thinks they are elite...

FONE (note the spelling): Something that every phreaker should not be without

BEIGE BOX: A box which is coloured beige and errr you use it to put your food
into when you have tupperware parties.

TRASHING: Sounds like fun, you get to rummage around in crappy bins full of
god knows what, to try and find what? carbon details of some sort of stuff..

GREEN BOX: Like eddie murphy said "if the skins green, theres gotta be
something wrong with the pussy", as is the case with the green box, this
beastly device apparently gives you money from pay phones, nothing that a
hammer, or two sticks of dynamite wouldn't do.

BLACK BOX: Didn't they make some song a while ago? Fantasy was it?

URINE BOX: What happens when you leave your normal box in the toilets and
some bastard pisses all over it.

CLEAR BOX: Check it out man...you can see THROUGH it!

CHROME BOX: Looks really cool, all the italians and greeks own them, pity it
doesn't do anything.

And those are some definitions, when we discover more hidden secrets of
phreaking we will surely tell you, because information is power, and we want
everyone to be powerful.

DaN aBNoRMaL (or damn to some)
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Who Broke The Toilet?

Who broke the toilet? thats the question these days.... Well i have a little
story for you all.... Last night after smoking some gunja (hahrhahrhh) me and
some friends went out to macdonalds. After we had found a place in the car
park we proceded to eat ..I then decided that i needed to take a crap so
instead of ducking behind a bush i went back to the macdonalds. I walked
straight in didn't look at neone went straight to the toilet sat down and
went about my business. I then used all of the remanining toilet paper :) and
flushed the toilet. But there was a problem it couldn't handle the force of
this mighty dump and took some of the toilet paper pushing the crap back on
top. I then decided it was a good time to leave. As i was walking out of the
cubicle i did my zip and button up. It was then that a tall asian man saw me
and headed for the cubicle. I hanged my head down because i couldn't stop
laughing and washed me hands. As the man looked down into the toilet his
face changed expresions and i made for the door. He then went to the tray to
drain his lizard (don't know why he didn't do that in the first place). I
quickly made my way out of the toilet and walked out of the macdonalds not
buying nething and chuckling to myself. I walked back across the car park to
my friends car where they awaited my return. I then told them the story and
we all laughed so har it hurt our stomachs. Not long after this an asian man
and his friend walked across the carpark and passing the car (i am fairly
sure this is him). My friends found it quite amusing that it was an asian and
that i broke the toilet. Well let that be a lesson to maccas if they are
gonna sell shit food then they should have toilets that can take the beating.
Later on in the night we proceeded to call out the windows at homies and
generally have a good time. Ok here is how the night was spent (times are
gonna be a bit rough tho)

8-8:30 - Got a call from a friend at DaN's house confirming that he wanted to
go out.

8:45 - DaN and I go back to my house where we wait to be picked up.

8:55 - Knock at door , friend walks in my room without knocking i shit myself
because i have a home made pipe in my hands.

9:05 - Pipe is ready to go so am i, We all leave.

9:05-30 - Drive to Skye where DaN and I light up the cone and smoke happily.

9:30-10:00 - Drive to bowling alley (the gunja is taking hold and i'm not
feeling to well sitting in the back seat.

10:00 - arrive at bowling and all the lanes are taken to 11:00 leave and go
to TTP to get macdonalds. 

10:10-10:45 - Go through Drive thorugh and get food which i soon realise i
feel to crappy to eat. Break the toilet then return and have drink and fries
feel much better. Stay in car park laughing and talking for a while

10:45-11:20 - Drive around some more .... Realise the driver has to get home
and get dropped near my house. 

11:20 - 12:45 - DaN and I go for a walk around talking and sobering up
quickly. Muck around for a while and then make our way home.

12:50 - Get home go to my bedroom and watch T.V for a while.

Some time after 1:00 i fall asleep... Well that was my night Cya

BaroN
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In MLiR #4, there will be... Jonas part 3, maybe some more phreaking phrases,
JuLeZ first article called "Mission Imposible" and possibly something else!

Werd Up. G.