=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-  P.I.S.S. Philez Number 51  =
=                             -
-    Mindless Phone Tricks    =
=                             -
-     by Phantom Operator     =
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Phantom Operator (phanop)'s 
Mindless Phone Tricks

<PREFACE>
Some people asked me what I do in my spare time when I'm bored as hell and 
have nothing but a phone to play with.  So, by popular demand, here is some
favorite silly phone tricks you can do, much in the spirit of the PLA Issue
entitled similarly.
</PREFACE>

* What's your favorite scary movie? * 

(You need a cellular phone for this trick)

This is one of my favorites, just pick a payphone (preferably one thats
inside), get the number off it, and go somewhere where you can see who 
answers but they can't easily see you.  You can also have a partner to 
help with the identifying.  I usually use one inside a popular area
cafeteria.  Call up the phone, and you (or your partner) goes and looks 
to see who it is.  Then when they answer talk to them, including their 
name.  This is actually kind of freaky.  Talk about the clothes they are
wearing, etc.  If you don't know them, talking about clothes or something
that you both can see works well also.  Laugh at their beweilderment.
If you get bored, instruct them to turn your head and look at you, or,
go up to them with your cell phone, talking, until they get the picture.

* It's stuck! *

(Pick a redbox capable phone for this... duh)

Make a phone call to the president or something far away, whatever.  
Screw up your redbox so that the operator comes on.  Then hold down
the quarter button.  Yell that its stuck.  Hit the payphone a few
times, let go of your redbox, and tell the nice lady it dropped in.
You sometimes have to do this more than once, operators usually hangup
when they hear the "Stuck" quarter.  This is an example call, not very
funny, but still worth the trouble.

<ring>
Op: please deposit $3.00 for the first three minutes
Me: ok... hold on, let me get some quarters

<beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep>

Me: it's stuck in the phone!!

<i hit the phone a few times>

Me: there, it dropped in.  how much more do I need now?
Op: sir, what you just did there is illegal.
Me: what?  i didn't damage the phone...  i promise!
Op: no, I know exactly what a red pack does
Me: a red pack?  what does a red pack do?
Op: it makes free phone calls.  that's fraud, and i'm going to get
    the cops to go out there and arrest you
Me: nah, i don't think that would be good
Op: you little smartalecks, always thinking you can get away with
    everything... 
Me: ma'am, it's ok, i'm a card carying PISS member

<click>

I don't know where she got that red pack idea...  Oh well

* How's sales? *

Places like Walmart and Radio Shack really love having demo cellular
phones with all the new technologies such as digital PCS, etc.  Go
and collect the numbers, unless you're a total dumbass, you should be
able how to get the demo phone to tell you its number.  On most digital
phones you need to hit "Menu", then press the number that goes with
"Display", then there should be an option for "My Phone Number".  Pretty
simple.  (Radio Shack of Waxahachie TX's cell demo number is 972-333-0410).

Anyway, you can call these poor folks and harrass them constantly, I don't
know who pays those cellular bills...  Oh well.  Also, if they leave
them unattended like Radio Shack often does, they do make calls, most don't
ask for a unlock number or anything (Walmart usually locks the phones tho).

* This is _really_ gonna cost you... *

My cellular phone is mine and stuff, so when I prank people I don't bother
blocking caller ID or any of that crap, when people call you back from 
calling them it's a prime opportunity for harrassment.  One of my favorites
is to call people that I know have CID and yell Roy alot and be otherwise
generally annoying.  When they call back, put on your best Abu Far Eastern
accent...

<ring>  
Me:  helo, you have reached a roaming GTE cellular phone.  this call costs
     $5.50 per minute, if you do not wish to incurr charges, please hangup
     now.  otherwise wait on the line
Him: $5.50!?
Me:  Yes sir, i've begun billing now

<click>

no-one has been persistent enough to "accept" charges, but if they do, 
you can just laugh at how much the call is "costing" them, and they'll
probably just curse at you and hangup anyway.

* Ping? Pong! *

Call a big company, ask about their extensions...  Most places will tell
you if you ask nicely.  Call back, enter, say, extension 100.  Ask
to be transferred to extension 101.  Ask the nice lady working 101 to
transfer you to 102, then ask for 103, etc.  After about 105, loop back
to 100 again until someone yells at you.  This works especially well at
places that have people working side by side, cause they can see each
other doing the transfers...

* Split Personality *

This used to be nice to do to OCI, maybe this is why they won't make
collect calls anymore except from their payphones?

Anyway, turn on your 3r33t haxx0r cell phone and dial 0.  Ask the nice
operator to make a collect call, give them your cell phone number. 
Your phone will start ringing...  Pick up your cell and (make sure to
sound exactly the same as you did), talk to the nice operator.  She'll
get pretty mad that you're the same person.  Heh :)  I actually got
an AT&T operator to swear at me doing this.

Me: i'd like to make a collect call please
Op: i need the number, area code first please.
Me: 972-xxx-xxxx
Op: what's your name?
Me: Pimp Daddy Roy
Op: sir?
Me: you heard me, Pimp Daddy Roy
Op: please hold...

<my phone starts ringing, i torture the op by letting her hear that
 through the payphone mouthpiece>

<i pick up my phone finally>

Me: hello
Op: I have a collect call from a Pimp Daddy Roy, will you accept
    charges?
Me: Pimp Daddy?  Hmm.... he sounds kinda cool, what do you think?
Op: you fucking bastard, what do you think the phone is, your toy?
Me: i'll send you a PISS postcard if you tell me your address

<click>

* Ancient Chinese Stupidity Torture *

Sad to say, but this is inspired from actual events.  I used to work
for a help line, and sometimes we'd get these ridiculously stupid
people... anyway.... 

pull up one of those web pages out there with those "tech support"
phone call transcripts, the real dumb ones.  call up your local
hillbilly dumbfuck computer store and give them some of the stupidest
crap...  eventually they'll cry.

<CLOSING>
okay, thats enough for now, i've probably inspired a whole new group
of people to annoy the hell out of their fellow citizens.  have fun
oh, and a stupid Linux trick before you leave... ps aux is lame... if you
are k-rad you should type

ps auxuauxuauxuxauxauxuaxuaxuaxuaxuaxuaxuauxauxauxauxuxuxuxxuxuxauauxuauxa

it looks so much more wizardly :)

	      - phanop "pUd ROY!?  what have you been smoking?"

</CLOSING>

----------------------------------------------------------------------
PISS - People into Serious Shit

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Phantom Operator
Apocalypse
Skrike

Contributors- 
Sameer Ketkar
The Axess Phreak

PISS, the author, and anyone else does not take responsibility for what
you do with the stuff contained in this file.  If you get busted, 
don't cry to us.  We don't care.  We have never done any of this.
Really.  And we don't condone it.  Uh-huh.

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© Copyright 1998 PISS Publications and also copyrighted by the author.
This file may be posted freely as long as this notice stays on the end.
All rights reserved.  Or something like that.
