 Issue 1                                                              Special

                        * * * T H E  A B U S E R * * *

"Hey man we really like these abuser texts file we would appreciate all the
ones you could send!"
    þþZäPHëïþþ

um, i had a dream about a week ago.. and uhh, we (i'm not sure who else it 
was) killed some guy (i'm not sure who he was).  not stopping there, we
proceeded to remove his heart, then castrate the guy..  am, anyone care to
interpret that?  kinda scary.

"i think it means you want to have sex with CAFBL." -Murmur
                                                           
Contents:

Letter From The Editor......
Freak Show Featuring Morpheus.....
CAFBL: We Suck!......
Where Are They Now?.....
CAFBL Member Profiles.....
CAFBL: Fame And Fortune In The Underground.....


LETTER FROM THE EDITOR:

I thought it would be kewl to take some of the things we have seen around 
about us and let everyone see it. There's nothing really informative in here
as far as H/P is concerned, but some of this stuff is pretty damn funny.


FREAK SHOW FEATURING MORPHEUS:

date: 4:46 pm  Fri May 19, 1995        number : 24 of 31
from: Black Francis                    base   : pez public phorum
to  : All                              refer #: none
subj: me                               replies: 2
stat: normal                           origin : local

    i am an alternateen badass.

    look out world.

francis^cia
alternateen^badass

date: 3:05 am  Sat May 20, 1995        number : 25 of 31
from: Morpheus                         base   : pez public phorum
to  : Black Francis                    refer #: 24
subj: Re: me                           replies: 1
stat: normal                           origin : local

BF>     i am an alternateen badass.
BF> 
BF>     look out world.
'
I am an "alternateen" not because I listen to certain music, but 
because I keep a dead parrot in my fro and pretend that it's talking 
to people.

Me (whispering) : awwwk! I am not dead! help me! save me!
Me (slaping the parrot on my head) : ShuT Up@!#

(M o r p h e u s) KL
The man who never sleeps
vmb::18008620094::vmb

date: 2:56 pm  Sat May 20, 1995        number : 27 of 31
from: Black Francis                    base   : pez public phorum
to  : Morpheus                         refer #: 25
subj: Re: me                           replies: 1
stat: normal                           origin : local

M> I am an "alternateen" not because I listen to certain music, but 
M>because I  keep a dead parrot in my fro and pretend that it's 
M>talking to people.
M> Me (whispering) : awwwk! I am not dead! help me! save me!
M> Me (slaping the parrot on my head) : ShuT Up@!#

    that rocks.

    lay off the acid, morpheus.

francis^cia

date: 10:24 pm  Sat May 20, 1995       number : 31 of 31
from: Dark Phiber                      base   : pez public phorum
to  : Black Francis                    refer #: 27
subj: Re: me                           replies: none
stat: normal                           origin : local

while in a drunken stupor, Black Francis said this to Morpheus about 
Re...and then they passed out on the floor.

M> I am an "alternateen" not because I listen to certain music, but 
M> because I M> keep a dead parrot in my fro and pretend that it's 
M> talking to people.
M> Me (whispering) : awwwk! I am not dead! help me! save me!
M> Me (slaping the parrot on my head) : ShuT Up@!#
BF> 
BF>     that rocks.
BF> 
BF>     lay off the acid, morpheus.
BF> 
BF> francis^cia

I swear to god that has to be one of the funniest damn things I have 
ever seen...not because it is so funny....but that I could actually 
imagine him doing that...

-=Dark Phiber=-

date: 9:11 pm  Mon May 22, 1995        number : 143 of 143
from: Dark Phiber                      base   : phat t-philez
to  : Morpheus                         refer #: 141
subj: Re: poems and shit               replies: none
stat: normal                           origin : local

while in a drunken stupor, Morpheus said this to Socrates about Re: poe
...and then they passed out on the floor.

M> Have eet Delivered And I WiLL sTiLl N0t C0uRy DAt WaRe.
S> 
S> 
S> 
S>               hahahaha. you rock, cuz you remind me of me. you better be at
S>               next 26.
S> 
S> 
S>                         -Socs
M> 
M> d'0h, thanks but I don't think I will.
M> 
M> My mommy will like kill me and stuff.

Does your mom ever let you out of the house?

This is morpheus:

His mom locks him in a room all day and says....you little no good soon of a 
bitch...you didn't get the warez I told you too...now go back in your room and
get them.....until you do, you're not coming out.....AND STOP TALKING TO THEM 
DAMN ROACHES!!!! They'll think you are crazy!


WeLCOMe T3w WAReZ WORlD! CAFbl MeMBerZ OnLY PLE4Se!

awwww yeah#@!#@$#!$@$#@! back wif dah phunkiwagawunga ansi phucking scene$@!!

aww yeah$@!#$#@!$#@#!$@ eye hack vmb's eye'm cool awww ywah$@#!$#@!#$

YYYEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAA$!@##!$@#!$@$#$!#@$#@!@$!#@#$@!

  ______
6/ WaReZ^..^
 \  ++  (oo)
  WW  WW     \   Hellfire sez "CCAFBL is seriously lame shit!"


AwWaWaWWwAAaWWww YEAH$@#!
by morpheus


CAFBL: WE SUCK!:

        Well we have found out on some BBS's and some people that CAFBL is not
really liked. So I thought I would bring together some of the messages that I
have recieved telling us how much we suck.

                    Capture file opened  9-May-1995 08:24p
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ


RESiSTANCE [Scene Talk] [1of100] [P]ost [R]eply [Q]uit.

Date: 8:32 pm  Thu Apr 27, 1995        Number : 2 of 100
From: Sed                              Base   : Scene Talk
To  : Arkane                           Refer #: 1
Subj: Re: Mags                         Replies: 2
Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local
A>   If anyone knows it, well there's not too many good h/p mags out in the 
A>   scene and I don't think the local plans will ever get off the ground.. 
A>   215 has the abuser and pretty much that's the only mag that floats this 
A>   way...Maybe  people should write more files, download less warez...

Yeah, but these zines actually are rather a problem to the scene fairly often.
You have inexperienced newbiews producing magazines with phreaking tips such
as "l00KiNG 0V3R p3EpLEZ sH00lD3Rz f0R /<0d3Z iZ /<r4D". A small number of
zines would actually be beneficial to the scene & more people should revert to
the DIY method of exploring & gaining info.

RESiSTANCE [Scene Talk] [2of100] [P]ost [R]eply [Q]uit.

Date: 1:02 pm  Fri Apr 28, 1995        Number : 5 of 100
From: Trust                            Base   : Scene Talk
To  : Arkane                           Refer #: 1
Subj: Re: Mags                         Replies: 1
Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local
A>   If anyone knows it, well there's not too many good h/p mags out in the 
A>   scene and I don't think the local plans will ever get off the ground.. 
A>   215 has the abuser and pretty much that's the only mag that floats this 
A>   way...Maybe  people should write more files, download less warez...
A>   If anyone knows it, well there's not too many good h/p mags out in the 
    
    The only good mags in my opinion are COTNO and Phate, I suppose there are
some virus related ones, but I've never been to interested.
    The best source of information (for phreaking) is telco systems, manuals,
and employees.  You can also get a tonne out of simply reading telecom digest,
and the countless USENET and FidoNet telecom related groups.
    And yeah, if more people concentrated on writing their own files, on new
subjects, it'd be alot more interesting.  I've got so many rough notes, I just
need some time to piece them together into a respectable looking file :)

RESiSTANCE [Scene Talk] [5of100] [P]ost [R]eply [Q]uit.

Date: 7:30 pm  Mon May 1, 1995         Number : 15 of 100
From: Hellfire                         Base   : Scene Talk
To  : Y                                Refer #: 1
Subj: abuse207                         Replies: 1
Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local
A>   If anyone knows it, well there's not too many good h/p mags out in the 
A>   scene and I don't think the local plans will ever get off the ground.. 
A>   215 has the abuser and pretty much that's the only mag that floats this 
A>   way...Maybe  people should write more files, download less warez...

i personally think Abuse E-mag is a seriously lame piece of shit... but they
could also get better.
me and music phreak each have a tfile that will be released under the AMITECH
name reasonably soon.  Mine is a PRIMOS hacking guide,  and MP wrote up some
shit on EmpireNet.

RESiSTANCE [Scene Talk] [26of100] [P]ost [R]eply [Q]uit.

Date: 11:33 pm  Mon May 1, 1995        Number : 28 of 100
From: Arkane                           Base   : Scene Talk
To  : Hellfire                         Refer #: 17
Subj: Re: Mags                         Replies: 2
Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local
H> i know the people at TNO decently,  and they all know there shit really 
H>well but the problem is,  they don't really think it is worth it to publish 
H>really good info,  because then it is brought the attention of the "Abuse" 
H>crowd and is promptly killed for the rest of us.
  
  True the article on the cna's in the abuser is very offensive to phreakers
in general.. Kaos I believe that may have lost much respect for the mag..
They are not presenting the info in a proper way by which for people to learn
or prosper from it's primal..
 Arkane

RESiSTANCE [Scene Talk] [32of100] [P]ost [R]eply [Q]uit.

Date: 7:12 pm  Tue May 2, 1995         Number : 40 of 100
From: Hellfire                         Base   : Scene Talk
To  : Arkane                           Refer #: 28
Subj: Re: Mags                         Replies: None
Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local
A>   True the article on the cna's in the abuser is very offensive to 
A> phreakers in general.. Kaos I believe that may have lost much respect for 
A> the mag.. They are not presenting the info in a proper way by which for 
A> people to lear or prosper from it's primal..

yah.  its was always pretty lame.  not to say there isn't a few alright people
involved in it.  its just the tfiles make me wanna puke.
                         Hellfire of Amitech
                         800-992-5600 box 200
                                -------------

Date: 4:48 pm  Tue May 23, 1995        Number : 187 of 209
From: Metaphysis                       Base   : General Messages
To  : Dark Phiber                      Refer #: 165
Subj: Re: buse                         Replies: 1
Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local

DP> Why is it that you say CAFBL sux? I wouldn't take much offense to that 
DP> since you are so insignificant but you did it to us publicly on one of our 
DP> own boards which I just can't tolerate....

to make my point known to all.. i say CAFBL sucks because anyone who thinks 
they are cool for just going off and performing "underground-ish" tasks such 
as hacking and shit needs to come out from in front of their computer a little
more.. thanks for the insult.. means a lot to me from someone who hides behind
a handle.. that (i know i've said this before somewhere else) is why i don't 
expect you people to fear me.. because all we know about each other is one or 
two words by which we identify ourselves with over a phone line..

  ÚÂ¿ÚÚÂ¿Ú¿ meta@tnce.com
ÚÄ³³³Ã ³ Ã´ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
  Ù ÀÀ Á ÙÀ

[187] Read (1-209,<CR>,?=Help) : 

Date: 2:35 am  Sun May 21, 1995        Number : 201 of 204
From: Metaphysis                       Base   : General Messages
To  : Dark Phiber                      Refer #: 198
Subj: Re: buse                         Replies: 1
Stat: Normal                           Origin : Local

DP> H3y 3Very0N3 0N3 of YoU 3l33t h/P d00derZ...g0 G3t th3 4buS3R !55u3 numb3r 
DP> 1T'Z 0Ut n0W 0N TH!Z w4r3Z b0arD 4nd 4Ll Y0ur 0Th3r faV0r!T3 W4R3Z BBZ's
DP> 4rouNd tH3 c0unTry. g3t !t fa5t b3F0R3 TH3 53cReT 53rv1C3 G3tZ them 4Ll!
DP> 
DP> C4FBL r0x!

1. this looks pretty stupid.. almost not even worth quoting..
2. cafbl sucks.. 


  ÚÂ¿ÚÚÂ¿Ú¿ meta@tnce.com
ÚÄ³³³Ã ³ Ã´ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
  Ù ÀÀ Á ÙÀ

[201] Read (1-204,<CR>,?=Help) : 
                                -------------



WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

[Thunderstorm]
What groups are you into now?

im not into any groups or anything, but i do some programming on my own
time... starting a board focused only on Music files, such as Midi, Mod, and 
S3M, NO Warez, and stuff....

What are ya? [ansi d00d, hacker, phreak, warez d00d]

nothing...i am myself...

Do you phear CAFBL?

some of the stuff seems extreme than again, most of the people deserve it...

Have you seen CAFBL around? 

on a few boards...not really too many...

What do you think of CAFBL now?

seems okay...seems to have made a name for itself...


[Grifter]
What groups are you into now?

I program for a shareware group, Creative Software.  I'm in no h/p or demo
groups at the moment, but I do still write loaders and demos. 

What are ya? [ansi d00d, hacker, phreak, warez d00d]
I'm not an ansi d00d, but I do consider myself a hacker, and somewhat a 
phreak, plus, I'm a kick ass coder.

Do you phear CAFBL?
No, I don't phear you, but I do respect you.

Have you seen CAFBL around? 
I've seen you around, and think you have improved greatly since your first
release.


CAFBL MEMBER PROFILES:

Current Handle: Dark Phiber

Other Handle(s): Cybernaut, Optech, hyper_xXx, John Brice

Status inside CAFBL: founder/writer/phreak

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL: about a year and a half/since it
                                           started

Computer(s): IBM PS/1 486sx 25mhz, 3.5 disk, CD-ROM, 2400, 14.4, and 28.8 
             modems.....

Music: Bad Religion, Sonic Youth, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Pavement, Green Day,
       Operation Ivy, Nirvana, Dag'Mar

Other groups you're in: I'm not in any other groups...I don't have the time.

inet address: dphiber@zurich.gcomm.com

VMB: 1-800-293-6258 box 1029

What do you consider yourself in the scene? 

Well mostly a phreak. Really I can't hack for shit. I don't know UNIX very 
well. I know enough about fones and the fone system to get me by. It's 
probably something I wouldn't mind getting a job doing and probably will.


How'd you get started in the scene?

I don't know where I got the idea of hackers. But when I was at the library
one day I did a search for it on the computer and found the book The Hacker
Crackdon by Bruce Sterling and that got me interested. The only thing I had to 
communicate with at the time was a 2400 baud modem and a Prodigy account. So 
that's where I started. I know that sounds lame, but everyone has to start 
somewhere. I meet Optic on Prodigy and he helped me along and got me started. 
Then I meet Dash on Prodigy too and he asked me if I wanted to be a co-sysop 
of a BBS (which I never even heard of at the time). I said sure and learned 
renegade really fast. Optic would talk about AMiTECH and since I couldn't get
into AMiTECH I started my own group, CAFBL.
                                
                                ------------
                                
Current Handle:Spooky

Other Handle(s):

Status inside CAFBL:writer/ dp's lackey/person to be bitched at

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL:1yr/about 5 months

Computer(s): 386sx 20mh  20meg hd(hey, blow me) wonderful grainy ega monitor

Music: beatles,doors,nirvana,green day(again, blow me)bad religion,
whoever >i< feel like listening to

Other groups you're in: razor 9ii, cia, ice, acid, fbi(employee) part-time
nsa

inet address:spooky@squeaky.free.org

VMB:1.800.241.7337 box 4451376#

What do you consider yourself in the scene? cafbl's complaint booth attendant
(unwillingly)

How'd you get started in the scene? i called a board, duh (always been a 
self-learner)

What or who do you hate about the scene? whiners, lack of boards, elietests,
feds


Hey, where's the comment part? some survey. geee dp, gonna spell check it?
gonna even read it? yeah, right. 

comments: umm i think we should all stop bitching at each other and 
concentrate on the feds/telco/profiteering gluttons and that we need more
good boards. Oh yeah, i am sick of being bitched at/fucked with. You never
know in this society, i may just snap and kill you. Keep that in mind.
(heh i'm a hypocrite..i say get together and then i say i will keel you
if you bitch at me...allwell)

                                ------------

Current Handle: Logik

Other Handle(s): None

Status inside CAFBL: Writer

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL: I've been in the scene about 2
                                           years, and in CAFBL about a month

Computer(s): Compaq Presario 850 (486DX 50) and a Packard Bell Pentium 50

Music: Punk/Hardcore

Other groups you're in: HoE

inet address: logik@netcom.com

VMB: 1-800-245-1305 box #23531

What do you consider yourself in the scene? Just a hacker who wants to learn
                                            more, and a writer who wants to
                                            write.

How'd you get started in the scene? I got my first computer for Christmas
                                    from my mom. A friend of mine was into
                                    computers (he was a warez d00d) and gave
                                    me some local 'leet BBSes to call. So, I
                                    did.
                                    

What or who do you hate about the scene? I hate anyone who thinks they're
                                         cool, and has no interest in
                                         learning. Only in showing off.

                                 ------------

Current Handle: Kamui

Other Handle(s): none

Status inside CAFBL: Writer/Ansi

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL: 2 or 3 years (for both)

Computer(s): 386 40MHz, 486 IBM ThinkPad laptop

Music: Not much really

Other groups you're in: Vapor (d00dl3b0y 4l3rT!@#$), FiRM

inet address: kam@escape.com

VMB: 800-245-1305 #99929

What do you consider yourself in the scene? I need to learn much more about
                                            hacking, but right now i'm into
                                            ansi a little (temporarily).

How'd you get started in the scene? One day i met Dark Phiber when we were
                                    both pretty lame (although he was still
                                    more experienced than me then) and he
                                    told me about the puter underground and 
                                    let me hang out with all the more 
                                    experienced hackers and such... 

What or who do you hate about the scene? Actually, i kinda hate the term
                                         "scene"... makes me think of warez.. 
                                         but ummm i'm not too fond of those 
                                         warez boards who think can write
                                         "H/P/A/T/V/C/W/S/K ELiTE FiLeZ!@#$%" 
                                         just 'cause they have one file on 
                                         hacking prodigy.

                                 ------------
                                 
Current Handle: Black Ice

Other Handle(s): Wolfsbane

Status inside CAFBL: Writer/Senior Staff

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL: 2 or 3 years (for both)

Computer(s): 486 IBM PS/1 Consultant

Music: Muldoons, Marilyn Manson

Other groups you're in: none!!!

inet address:I dont know

VMB: 800-245-0809

What do you consider yourself in the scene? Hmmmm, i'm like CAFBL's self
                                            acclaimed Ameritech guy.  I need
                                            to learn more about hacking though

How'd you get started in the scene? Welp, my friend Deadman who used to be in 
                                    the "scene" (got busted) taught me alot.

What or who do you hate about the scene? The thing I hate the most in the 
                                         "scene" is the amount of stupid ass
                                         mother fuckers who thing they are
                                         captain k-rad!  I mean if you don't
                                         know anything dont pretend like you
                                         do!  Then theres the \/\/aReZ doodz,
                                          well you know how I feel about them.

                                 ------------
                                 
Current Handle: Milamber

Other Handle(s): None

Status inside CAFBL: Writer, Phreaker

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL: 2-3 years/less than 1

Computer(s): hehe, don't ask...   DX4 on the way.

Music: King Diamond, death metal, classical, spanish guitar

Other groups you're in: As in h/p groups?  None

inet address:

VMB: N/A

What do you consider yourself in the scene?
I am learning, just like everyone else.  I know some basics on fones, 
phreaking, and boxes.  I can do some rudimentary pascal programming.
I am beginning to understand Vax and Unix setups, and I know computers inside 
and out.

How'd you get started in the scene?
Years ago, I started on The Software House...later to become The Shelter.
With the help of Marlboro Man, Jay, and mostly Targa Phantom, I began to 
understand what the underground was all about.

What or who do you hate about the scene?

I hate none, save those arrogant few who think they are better than others.
We must work together if we are to progress in this world, especially if
we want to overcome those who seek to betray our freedom.

                                 ------------
                                 
Current Handle: Kaos

Other Handle(s): none

Status inside CAFBL: Senior Staff

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL: In the scene for about a year and
a half. Cafbl for about 6 months.

Computer(s): 486DX 25mhz, 8megz ram, 210MB HD, laptop. rad.

Music: Industrial, Punk, rad muzik, not muzak.

Other groups you're in: none

inet address: kaos@zurich.gcomm.com

VMB:  800-245-0799, 800-925-9999 ##719 (Canada)

What do you consider yourself in the scene? a boogey.

How'd you get started in the scene? First, I got a computer. Next, I got a
modem. Then, I got QMPRO. Then, I called a RaD aNZi board. Then i called other
boards.

What or who do you hate about the scene? wAREz k1dd13z and wiggaz.
                                 
                                 ------------
                                 
Current Handle: Key Master

Other Handle(s):

Status inside CAFBL: Programmer

How Long have you been in the scene/CAFBL: Late 80s

Computer(s): I486 50

Music: Rock n Roll, Alternative, Ozzy Osbourne, Black Sabbath, Nirvana

Other groups you're in: CSoft 

inet address:

VMB:

What do you consider yourself in the scene? SysOp / Programmer / Organizer

How'd you get started in the scene? With a computer...

What or who do you hate about the scene? Handles who think they're tough
                                 
                                 ------------


CAFBL: FAME AND FORTUNE IN THE UNDERGROUND:

[Taken from HOE-DATE #80. We phear Mogel!]
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=
|                                                                            |
|                  ...A Final (Hopefully!) Look at Godd(+d)...               |
|                                                                            |
=------------=-----------------------=------------------------=--------------=

'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.
'.'                        The Godd Story in Retro                          '.
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.
 
     Godd(+d)!@!@!#!@#!!1  This is your life.


     We ran into Godd when he first called my board Mogel-Land and he decided
to e-mail me a ba-zillion times asking to be a HoE site.  Before I had even
looked at his mail I was getting yelled at to look at his application.  I
don't like being called a cocksucker.  I do like being called a fat italian
cocksucker.  Since he didn't call me what I wanted to be called I deleted him
from Mogel-Land.  That is the beginning of the Godd myth0s.

     I later ran into Godd posting on a lousy local board in 215 called "The
Pit".  Yes, that's the same board the produced such glorious fighters of
intelligence like the Modem Mafia.  I guess some boards, no matter how
shitty, you just have to call for a good laugh.  At any rate, I saw one of
the st00pitest BBS ads I had ever seen in my life, posted by Godd.  It was
one of those type of posts that make you slap yourself in the face and say
"HOLY SHIT! THERE REALLY ARE FUCKUPS LIKE THIS OUT THERE! IS IT ALL WORTH IT?
SHOULD I KILL MYSELF?!" so like, I replied and had a little short-lived
argument.  I later realized just how funny it was, and decided to print the
captures in HoE #60.  I had sealed Godd's fate.

     I frequented The Hacker Crackdown, run by Dark Phiber (former CAFBL HQ)
bunches and the CAFBL boys read the HoE.  They decided to talk to the
whippersnapper.  Dark Phiber called the board (named "Satan's Sanctuary") and
basically wanted to know why Godd had used the name "DpE" for a group he was
in, when the name DpE was being used for some other group.  Soon after DP
called, I called the board.  

    What I saw in the board scared me.  I was stepping deep into the heart of
moronism.  That was when I not only decided to invent an entire new science
based on the study of morons, but I realized that Godd had to be stopped.
Fortunately, for my realms of maturity, I only did what I did best - make him
feel stupid.  So, me and Black Francis declared (with everyone's agreement)
that Godd would be the OFFICIAL 215 Mascot.  The actual real trouble for Godd
came, however, from the CAFBL boys.

    It was really sparked when Kaos and Godd chatted and Godd decided he
would take it as his opportunity (which he later did a bunch of other times)
to declare the "lameness" of the group CAFBL and other such "insults". He
also had created his own group called "Text Forecasters" (or 'TF' for those
that are h1p) which was supposedly a poetry and H/P group.  Shrug.  I didn't
really pay much attention at first.

The CAFBL guys, I guess, don't take insults well.  Dark Phiber, with the help
of Kaos, succeeded in doing all sorts of things hence forth.  DP found out
Godd's inph0 and made it public.  Basically this led to Godd getting a heck
of a lot of crank calls to his home.  His Mother and Father had no idea that
Godd was running a BBS off his 'private line', which meant eventual curtains
for his BBS.  Kaos and Morpheus ringled a lot fun and CAFBL had eventually
entertained itself quite a bit.  It was epitomized when DP put Ultra Call
Forwarding on your BBS line and forwarded it to the Secret Service.

     A few days before Godd's board died I called once more, whereon, I
chatted with Godd for a while.  All the while I honestly had no clue what he
was talking about.  At any rate, he told me to download the first TF2_95.ZIP
release and so I did.  Straight off of his board.  I read the release.

     Again, the world around me shook.  I could not conceive of this.  This
was again a level of pathetic I had never experienced before.  Here I was
was, looking at stupid incarnate.  The release had a "newsletter" file that
opened with quotes from Kurdt K0brain and Sn0pp d0GGy d0g.  It broke into a
top-10 list of reasons why you shouldn't call a "PD" board, none of which
were funny or understandable really.  It included a Mod of the "TF" theme
song, which was a bad rendition of "Enter Sandman" by Metallica.  It had
plans for a gNu .box, called the Lock Box, which was a Box based on a * Bell
Service and wasn't a "box" at all.  Uhm, yeah.  Ultimately, it was a big
laugh.  DP put it best when he said "You say seriously, what HoE says
Sarcastically."

     After people laughed for days about the TF file, Godd posted publicly
on The Pit that TF was NOT his group (he said he had nothing to do with it),
and in fact it was some other local guy named "Problemed" which it was known
that CAFBL didn't like either.  I guess in his own little warped mind he
thought he was being slick.  He had forgotten that he had CHATTED with me and
told me to get the TF release.  I replied to his message telling him that I
couldn't believe that he was denying that he was the sole maker and producer
of TF.  Of course he was.  He replied something to the effect of "I can't
explain it to you, it's just too k0mplex.  These things don't seem to make
sense probably because I have nothing to do with them."  Uhhh... yeah.  So I
sarcastically asked him if perhaps someone had broken into his house and
started chatting with me about TF.  He didn't reply to that.  He just denied
being in TF.  (Note: Godd's name was all over the file, and the "style" of
typing in the file was an EXACT match to the confusing retarded style that
Godd used in any chat or post I had ever seen.  It couldn't have been
'Problemed', because after one one encounter with him, I knew that he was not
mentally capable of producing such a good imitation.  He just wasn't smart
enough.)

     "FINE," I said, "if no one actually runs TF how is 215 going to get it's
qu4l1ty Ayche-Pee?!@!@#" 

     It was decided on a k0nf (being billed to Godd) that we would repay his
hospitality by producing our own next release of TF.  We would fill it with
the stupidest possible t-files we could write, and thus we did.  TF3_5.ZIP
was made and it was a swell little rap up to the Godd epidemic.  He had
become famous, thanks to us, in 215 for being infamous m0r0n.  People called
Godd Long Distance to talk to him.  Some people gave his # out on IRC.

     That was basically that.  Godd is still around.  Currently him,
Problemed, Sub Zero, and other 'elite' rej3cts of 215 hang out together in
some dark, twisted, and (of course) pathetic place in some board Somewhere.
None of us much really care anymore about it.  As it stands today, Godd and
Sub Zero think CAFBL is the epitome of H/P 'coolness' and are planning to
submit to it.  Godd goes to the same High School as Kaos and follows him
everywhere worshipping him as GaWd.  I think it's cute in a sort of way.
Godd and all those guys got their own little club to be friends, CAFBL was
amused, Black Frannie got to make fun of someone to no ends, and I had made
all this documented.  We all won out.

     One may wonder why did we spend so much time playing with Godd.  That
question can only be answered by each individual.  We all sort of knew deep
down, however, that there was hundreds of Godd's out there.  After HoE #60
was released, I heard again and again from people "We have a guy like that in
our area code too!"  I guess it was a symbol of ultimate proof.  We did what
GwD did in 806 with Greeny.  We made a confirmed l0zer.

     Because I'm a self-analytical Fuckup, I often ask myself if what was
done to Godd was mature or not.  I was convinced many different ways on it for
a while, and I ultimately decided "Fuck it."  There are just some people out
there that will always have these things coming to them.  You can't control
it.  Have fun.  I, myself, although I never did any "abuse", did condone it.
Not to mention the fact that I started all this trouble originally for Godd.
I guess my only answer is sometimes we need to kick, point, and laugh at the
stupid.  It's the only way anything will ever change.  The 'Godd's out there
are multiplying by the day.  

     Godd, I know that you will read this file.  You are reading it right now
and your brain is probably churning in ways it never has before.  When I
heard you talking that first time on the Teleconfrence I wanted to say it to
you then, but I knew that in text form it would mean much more.  You don't
get it.  Even after it's been thrown in your face you don't get it.
Maturity, being real, and style are what it's about.  Let this be the most
important lesson about 'the scene' that you ever learn from a t-file.

    "He thought the local 2600 meetings were called H.O.P.Es." - Sub Zero
    
    "That CAN'T be godd.  That was an complete thought." - Spiff
    
    "We don't want any losers on this teleconfrence!" - Godd

[Note: Kaos was supposed to write the 'retro' file.  He was too slow.  Did I
do a good job?  Think so?  Good.]


'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
'.'  Quotes from the Mythical Moron - Collected By Mogel, m0rph, Kaos, DP   '.'
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'


     Here are many quotes that I have compiled from the mythical moron.
These were nabbed from posts, chats, and private e-mails.  I think it makes
an interesting case study.  Note that all the quotes are in chronological
order.

"...its bright and h/p/a/c/v activises in 2i5 are on the move ... listen to
metallica they rule.... we also predict a big downfall for Cafbl..."

"You can't change anything on anyone's phone account without a password."

"mogel...hahahah that pussy, i logged on to his bbs, i never begged shit!, i
asked him if i could have a hoe distro but becuase he's an asshole he never
anaswe so i wrote the 2! next people in rank, Black Fran and Slater!, becuase
i hoped 1! of them who answer, now that aint begging, begging is stooopid, i
dont like hoe, at all really, their the next potential high flyer from
2i5!..."

"...this fucking area code is full of Power Trippy lil lamerz like KAOS,
mOGEL AND black francis mostly, though i apologize to the cool people who
dont go off and try to be /<-rad, anyway, whom have no skill and knocj the
skillz of other poeple, and in generally, cornily bullied their way into an
area in which they are about to have to deicide what to do, and make mistakes
they will, and i iwll be their to reap the joyous collection of InSultS and
the happy downfall of hoe and high flyers a like, and you so judgmental,
cursing the Tf's and the DpE's and the small cool groups of today with your
high flyers Sooooooooper doooooooper ansi rips and your awesome /<radicality
should shove it up your ass...."

"phiber, look if you dont shut the fuck up with your Promo Soooper Fucking
you better than everyone attitude i am gonna have to fucking delete ya
again.... your the stooopid founder of a stooopid loser group that sucks,
blow it out your ass! dont gimme yer shit cause i am tired of going and
deleting you corny fucking posts..."

"i am the fucking Tf founder! its beemn in the works. its a small lil LiT and
other h/p/c/a/v lil shits group that ya know dont doooo a whole lot of
sooooooooper ansi's and shit but just writes some stuff they think is cool"

"well i donno what k rad means but i 've always know it to be used
negativly..."

"hoe ... well what about em... i havent read something from you guyz in
ages ... my dicsion as of the last one i read is you guys rule.... but ....
ya never know till you;ve sampled the best and the worst...."

"pbiber, hey this is the eternal d! whats up man? i like you TF thing but
check out the message bases... i pretty much denoted any connected to Tf
being as it was all problemed doing... anywayz... i just wanted to say
yello, and uhh ... well maybe next weekend you can check out my telecon i
will have up....i will email the details anyway but .... thanks man sorry
about rippings yaz that time it was outta line cuz you had already explained
you had no prob with me...."

"DEAR PEOPLE!
This is Godd DA DA! DA DA .....
i wonna make the announcement that the text forcastors thing
released under the name TF2-95.zip IS NOT mine....
nor will any other files under that name be mine.....
i never write any actual files for it..... i only mentioned 
that as a name for group to a few people a month or so back....
i belived it was PROBLEMED, being as he started my past 
problems... Futhermore i wonna Apologize for what i said about 
CAFBL that long time ago to DP, becuase he had made it clear 
he had no problem with me previous to the writing of my hate 
mail...... now.... i wonna thank for you time.... and i guess thats it...."

"but you can docotr anything you want i was never in TF!... as for grave
digger like i said he jumps on the band wagon of whatever is up for now....
which is better than what i do, at least as far you you go, i might act like
a moron but i do my best ot clean up any mess' i make.... i never pick
anyone for a serious attack, usually, though i aint as lame as some might
think... perhaps my lash out on you has made you non-understanding of the
situation... i have no problem with anyone in the area code... lest you
consider my past... but all in all i have seriously cleaned up what i have
done and made all around good relations..... so as far as what most want to
think about my story (the truth) or this whole situation i dont really
care.... i mean i know this may seen blurred and not very informative but...
thats what its supposed to do isnt it.... each action that seems to come
next from me a lil more and more unpredicable.... probably DO OT the fact
that i aint doing em... why would i starte a war with CAFBL... and mogel i
have never said anything but sorry's and thank you's to you!... as long as i
see no reason to fight..."


'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'
'.'                   The Game of Godd - By Dark Phiber                     '.'
'.'.'.',','.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'.'


REM * This a game based on Godd's life and times. It is the for de TeXt * REM
REM * FoReCaSteRs.  Programmed in Qbasic for that 100% WaReZ affect!!!1 * REM

CLS
COLOR 5: PRINT "_____ |~~  \__/ _____"
PRINT "  |   |-    |     |"
PRINT "  |   |__  /-\    |"
PRINT "|---  __  /--\ |~~  | /  /--\ ---/ /-_-\ |~~  /--\ ---/"
PRINT "|--  |  | |--/ |-   |x   |--|  /     |   |-   |--/  /  "
PRINT "|    |__| |  \ |__  | \  |  | /___   |   |__  |  \ /___"
PRINT
PRINT "...presents..."
10 COLOR 15: PRINT "Godd's Adventures in AYCHE/PEE Land v.98"
11 PRINT "Please turn on your caps lock and hit enter to continue....": INPUT R$
30 CLS : COLOR 4: PRINT "Scene: You are Godd one of the most famous people in 215."
31 PRINT "You have decided to become k-rad and open up your own BBS."
32 PRINT "What would you like to name your BBS?"
33 INPUT B$
34 PRINT " ": PRINT "So you have decided to call your board "; B$; "."
35 PRINT "You make an add for your BBS which states the following:"
36 COLOR 9: PRINT "Call "; B$; "....."
37 PRINT "It's lame, it's ashame, and my underwear is shit stained,"
38 PRINT "but that's no reason not to call "; B$
39 PRINT "215.744.4944 Node 1  215.744.0225 Node 2"
40 COLOR 4: PRINT "Before long every lamer in 215 is on your BBS."
45 PRINT " ": PRINT " "
50 PRINT "Now that you set up your board it's time to have some fun.": GOTO 55
51 PRINT " ": PRINT "Now that you have your board and your friends, what would you like to do?"
52 PRINT " ": PRINT "Now that you have a board and some enemies, what would you like to do?"
55 PRINT "What do you want to do?"
60 PRINT "1) Make some friends"
65 PRINT "2) Make some enemies"
70 PRINT "3) Start your own group"
75 PRINT "4) Join another group"
76 PRINT "Choose (hit 5 to quit)": INPUT D
80 IF D = 1 THEN GOTO 105
85 IF D = 2 THEN GOTO 165
90 IF D = 3 THEN GOTO 400
95 IF D = 4 THEN GOTO 430
100 IF D = 5 THEN COLOR 15: PRINT "Quiting already? You really are a l00zer!": END
105 PRINT " ": PRINT "You set out to find some friends."
110 COLOR 4: PRINT "Who would you like your friends to be?": INPUT F1$
111 IF F1$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
112 IF F1$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
113 IF F1$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 134
115 PRINT "Enter another friends name:(enter no if you are done)": INPUT F2$
116 IF F2$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
117 IF F2$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
118 IF F2$ = "DARK PHIBER" GOTO 134
120 IF F2$ = "NO" THEN GOTO 145
125 PRINT "Enter another friends name:(enter no if you are done)": INPUT F3$
126 IF F3$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 132
127 IF F3$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 133
128 IF F3$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 134
130 IF F3$ = "NO" THEN GOTO 155
131 GOTO 135
132 COLOR 15: PRINT "Yeah..right, get lost!": GOTO 110
133 COLOR 15: PRINT "No way in HoE. I phear Mogel!": GOTO 110
134 COLOR 15: PRINT "Yeah and monkeys may fly out my ass!": GOTO 110
135 PRINT " ": PRINT "You have found some new friends. "; F1$; ", "; F2$; ", and "; F3$
140 PRINT "become your posse."
141 GOTO 51
145 PRINT " ": PRINT F1$; " becomes your best friend. You and "; F1$; " are your"
150 PRINT "own posse."
151 GOTO 51
155 PRINT " ": PRINT F1$; " and "; F2$; " are now your friends and join your"
160 PRINT "posse."
161 GOTO 51
165 PRINT " ": PRINT "So you want to make some enemies. That won't"
170 PRINT "be too hard for yourself."
171 PRINT " ": PRINT "Would you like to pick your own enemies or pick from a"
172 PRINT "list."
173 PRINT " ": PRINT "Type 1 to pick your own or 2 to pick from the list(type 3 to return to the main menu)": INPUT E
174 IF E = 1 THEN GOTO 180
175 IF E = 2 THEN GOTO 210
176 IF E = 3 THEN GOTO 52
180 PRINT "Enter the name of the person you want to become enemies"
185 PRINT "with:": INPUT E$
186 IF E$ = "KAOS" THEN GOTO 250
187 IF E$ = "MOGEL" THEN GOTO 305
188 IF E$ = "DARK PHIBER" THEN GOTO 335
190 PRINT " ": PRINT E$; " finally starts to hate you after you harass him on all"
195 PRINT "the local boards, but in the end "; E$; " makes"
200 PRINT "you look like an ass."
205 GOTO 171
210 PRINT " ": PRINT "Choose one from the list:"
215 PRINT "1) KAOS"
220 PRINT "2) MOGEL"
225 PRINT "3) DARK PHIBER"
230 PRINT "Enter the number of your choice:": INPUT E
235 IF E = 1 THEN GOTO 250
240 IF E = 2 THEN GOTO 305
245 IF E = 3 THEN GOTO 335
250 PRINT " ": PRINT " "
255 PRINT "You start your terror on Kaos after he logs onto"
260 PRINT "your board, "; B$; ". You flame each other for a while, but"
265 PRINT "then you got pissed and kicked him off your board."
270 PRINT "He then kept trying to logon to your board under different"
275 PRINT "accounts. You get the best of him when you find out"
280 PRINT "his info and post it all over The Pit and hack"
285 PRINT "a few of his accounts on some shitty local boards."
290 PRINT "You can consider this your first victory."
300 GOTO 171
305 PRINT " ": PRINT "Mogel has called into your BBS a few times. Since he runs"
310 PRINT "a fairly large and popular group you find the need to"
315 PRINT "attack him for no reason at all. Mogel is much to witty for"
320 PRINT "you and no matter what you say, he always gets the best of you."
325 PRINT "You find it best to make amends with Mogel and leave him alone."
330 GOTO 171
335 PRINT " ": PRINT "Dark Phiber was probably the worst person you could have ever"
340 PRINT "became enemies with. Kaos helped Dark Phiber and got your real"
345 PRINT "name, Matt Baumbach. That was all Dark Phiber needed to start his"
350 PRINT "terror on YOU! He started merely by making prank phone calls to"
355 PRINT "your house harassing your parents. Then he put Ultra Call"
360 PRINT "Forwarding on your BBS line and forwarded it to the Secret Service"
365 PRINT "in Philadelphia one night. In all that was going on, your parents"
370 PRINT "also found out that you were running a BBS that they didn't know"
375 PRINT "about. They made you shut that down. Dark Phiber definitely got"
380 PRINT "the best of you and you pretty much dropped out of the scene."
390 COLOR 15: PRINT "You lose!": END
395 GOTO 171
400 PRINT " ": PRINT "After you start your BBS and it gets off it's feet you"
405 PRINT "decide to start up your own group."
410 PRINT " ": PRINT "What would you like to name your group?": INPUT G$
415 PRINT " ": PRINT "So "; G$; " puts out it's first pak and takes 215 by storm. But later"
420 PRINT "on you deny you ever wrote anything for "; G$; " and Problemed gets"
425 PRINT "all the credit.": PRINT " ": GOTO 55
430 PRINT " ": PRINT "You search out some of the /<-raddest groups you can find to join."
435 PRINT "What group would you like to apply for? (type NO to quit).": INPUT R$
436 IF R$ = "NO" THEN PRINT " ": GOTO 55
440 IF R$ = "HOE" THEN GOTO 465
445 IF R$ = "CAFBL" THEN GOTO 475
450 PRINT " ": PRINT "You apply for "; R$; " and get into the group. Although they are"
455 PRINT "glad to have you, the group does become a little but lamer now"
460 PRINT "that you are a member.": GOTO 430
465 PRINT " ": PRINT "Do you actually think you could get into something as kewl as Hoe?"
470 PRINT "What they write sarcastically, you write it seriously.": GOTO 430
475 PRINT " ": PRINT "You don't have the H/P knowledge to even be considered to join CAFBL.": GOTO 430



