-----( y0lk - 019 by, belial )-----------------------------------------------

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                $$$.$$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$ $$$.$$'
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-----( does that look center? )----------------------------------------------

        Welcome to the latest and probably not the greatest issue of y0lk, I
felt like writing this cuz, I have a 5 page paper to do. Sound appealing,
yea I know it is. Fear it, no phear it. This issue is dedicated to the
science of astrology. I know, I know, your probably saying, muhahah I'm a
smurf, look at my pointy little ears.

        Sweat the header turkey boy!@

-----( lets try to make some sence )-----------------------------------------

        ok, this is how it is. Eveyone call up erebus or alderaan and be
blessed by the net that be. Its called, y0lk net. 2 bases dedicated to this
'zine. Its small now but just wait, it shall strike phear into the hearts of
every imperial storm trooper. No doubt.

-----( that's enought of that )----------------------------------------------

        I'm pissed off and I'm not going to take this shit anymore. heh, that
was cool. See angst is fun.

        So you wanna cause mass anarkey. I don't care how _YOU_ spell it, I
spell it like this. Alright, lets make some waves in the pond of conformity.

        This is what you do. Go to church, and heckle the minister really
loud. Then when they make you sing, blast your pre-recorded version of Kiss.
(knights in Satans Service) That should get some cheers from the crowd, maybe
if your lucky, some other punks at church will follow your lead and help you
to cause some churchly anarkey. Moon the minister, and pat your ass, saying
"Have a smooch, I know you do!". Then when he bends over to send your ass
to hell, fart really loud and make it a stinker.

        Next after you have been twice damned by all the religious people of
the world, travel on down to the super market. Jump on top of the isles and
start kicking things off the side and swinging like tarzan from the ropes
that hold the signs up.

        Now, if you have avoided public prosecution, go to local overpass,
don't be lame and drop a bowling ball, that's old and boring, this time drop
a person over to cause highway anarkey. Watch as the cars swerve to avoid
killing someone, who is probably dead from the impact of hitting the road.
Anyway, it will cause many a chuckle.

-----( you're pretty lame belial - bl )--------------------------------------

        Lamer is a sorry word, over used and redundant, get a new word jerk
boy.

        Actually contrary to what it says up above, I'm not full of angst. I
really don't have anything to be pissed off at. Well, that isn't true, I'm
pissed that I have to do this 5 page paper.

-----( why the hell am I doing y0lk if I have a paper to do? )---------------

        Good question. Why the hell _AM_ I doing this now. So what, Its only
a paper. Why has school got us so programmed that we are afraid of not
handing in assignments. I'm rebellious.

        I'm pissed off and I'm not going to take this shit anymore.

-----( uhm )-----------------------------------------------------------------

        Did I follow the format right?

-----( cool )----------------------------------------------------------------

        cool, these dividers are almost like the kLUNK dividers.

        Wait a minute!@ These dividers are like the ones in the last y0lk,
what the hell is going on here!@ Creed you big klunk byt3ror!@ i'm going to
kick yer ass, give me yer address, slug boy!@ I'm going into your town with
all the people in my town, elders and all, and we're going to whip your fat
ass, punk!@

        I'm pissed off and I'm not going to take this shit anymore.

-----( What the hell )-------------------------------------------------------

        alright, I'm getting a little carried away with the divider part.
Sue me. Well It has been a joy writing for this here y0lk issue. It may seem
a little stupid, oh ok, a lot stupid, but basically I'm rebellious because
I don't _WANT_ to write this damn paper. I'll make a better one next time,
I swear.

-----( finally )-------------------------------------------------------------

        In closing I would suggest a few things to the reader. Call my board
avalon, because its cool and like, I have stuff you would like, I have 3 gigs
of 0-day warez. that's cool, that makes you want to call. So go ahead and do
it. The number is 908-739-4274. Also, read my 'zine kLUNK, just because its
cool. Uhm, that is about it, I guess.

        I apologize to whoever for not making a better y0lk, like I said,
I'll get to work on a better one when I get time on my hands, which probably
won't happen, cuz after this 5 page paper another teacher will decide its
time for us to do something in that class, and the cycle will never end, I'm
glad I'm a senior!

-----( fongul )--------------------------------------------------------------

actually, my dividers usually look like this

--(moo goo gai pan)------------------------------------------------------------
and i can't be held responsible for other peoples' dividers (like yours, for
example) ...but i still love you.  expect a big zip of 1-20 released as soon
as number #twenty comes out.  -creed

--(shephard's!@@!@)------------------------------------------------------------
yeah, we have some cool stuff ready for y0lk#20.. creed/hooch co-written
special issue? hmm.. i think we're gonna have special packs every time a
factor of twenty pack comes out. figure that one out, geniuses.

                                                -h0
-----( index )---------------------------------------------------------------

index of y0lk issues:

,s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $.                       title                                     `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$' 001 `$ the other white meat                                             `$
$  002  $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$  003  $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.                     $
$  004  $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin                $
$  005  $ household uses for afghanistanian food                            $
$  006  $ pour cement down my anus                                          $
$  007  $ hail santa!                                                       $
$  008  $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?                    $
$  009  $ lunchables rock.                                                  $
$  010  $ t-shirts and toejam                                               $
$  011  $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview                    $
$  012  $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta]              $
$  013  $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@                   $
$  014  $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink                                   $
$  015  $ y0lk: bedazzled by the eliteness                                  $
$  016  $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina            $
$  017  $ i am a warez pup - who are you?                                   $
$  018  $ lemmings                                                          $
$. 019 ,$ the science of astrology                                          $
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'

issues 1-5, 7, 9, and 15-16 by creed
issues 6, 8, 11-13, and 17 by hooch
issue 10 by bEdlAM
issue 14 and 18 by phorce
issue 19 by belial

mindcrime is an official y0lk member.

note: if you have written an issue, you are a y0lk member, have a y0lk member
      board, etc.  woo.
