---(y0lk)----------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk number 39: creed is g0d, part one
---(h0h0h0e)-------------------------------------------------------------------

SETTING: it is 2046. creed, now ruler of the earth, is being interviewed by a
         very old-looking connie chung.  he is sitting in a director's chair,
         looking cool, wearing a t-shirt that says "i phear m0gel."

chung:  so... creed.  you are the most affluent man alive, and you are loved by
        all.  the world regards you as a god.  how do you feel about your
        achievements?

creed:  well connie, i kinda like it.  being a living god is pretty cool.  but
        you would know that yourself, wouldn't you connie?

(laughs)

chung:  how did you acquire the title "creed?" is it your given name?

creed:  well, no.  actually, i used to be a member of the late twentieth
        century's "computer underground," now dead because of the
        communications decency act, passed in 2014.  when i heard the feds
        were using lethal force to destroy the undergrounds, i dropped out
        of that scene, like many others.  but i lost a lot of friends in that
        revolution.

chung:  so you are actually an ex-criminal?

creed:  well, not by my terms.  i just published little computer magazines.

chung:  hmm... and this is about when you started your music thing, correct?

creed:  yeah, when i figured the computer thing was about over for me, i
        decided that i needed a new hobby, i guess.  so, i did what anyone
        in my situation would have done.  i started a rock band.  y0lk.

chung:  yes, y0lk.  you released seven albums with them.  how did you come up
        with such an unusual name?

creed:  uhm, y0lk was my little computer zine.  and that was dead then, and
        i liked the name, so i kept using it.

chung:  and then came your famed "enlightenment."  how did this come about?

creed:  well, after the seventh album, the "rap" album, i became tired of
        y0lk... and i was just disgusted at where it had taken me.  so i
        took out a hand-written compilation of my old computer zines, 400
        of them, and started adding to them.  i had this urge... i was
        driven to continue releasing my old zines.

chung:  how long did that last?

creed:  well, i wrote 600 more issues by hand, and closed the book with
        number 1000.

chung:  the 1000 verses!  you mean the modern world's bible is nothing
        but a compilation of magazine articles... from the now-deceased
        "computer underground?!"

creed:  well, yeah... sorta.  i mean, i didn't WANT it to be a bible... i just
        published it as a stupid book-- i called it "creedisms" ...and after a
        few years, "creedism"  became a worldly religion... i didn't mean for
        it to happen that way!

chung:  THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!@#  get this moron out of my studio!  you've made a
        BIG MISTAKE, buster!  revolution is at hand!  prepare to be overthrown,
        and die, by the hands of the people!

creed:  huh?

<shouting and rioting is heard from outside>

creed:  what the hell?!  all i said was that--

<creed is carried away by a mob of people, chanting "y0lk sucks!" and waving
banners of all sorts>

T0 B3 C0N7!NU3D (if i really feel like it)

---(index)---------------------------------------------------------------------

.s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ ## $                            title                            $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat                                       $ creed   $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed   $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.              $ creed   $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin         $ creed   $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food                     $ creed   $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus                                   $ hooch   $
$ 07 $ hail santa!                                                $ creed   $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?             $ hooch   $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock.                                           $ creed   $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam                                        $ bedlam  $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview             $ hooch   $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta]       $ hooch   $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@            $ hooch   $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink                            $ phorce  $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness                                 $ creed   $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina     $ creed   $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you?                            $ hooch   $
$ 18 $ lemmings                                                   $ phorce  $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology                                   $ belial  $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene     $ cd/h0   $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!?                                           $ phorce  $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself                  $ creed   $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale                                     $ phorce  $
$ 24 $ group masturbation                                         $ belial  $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs             $ creed   $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet                               $ phorce  $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause                                         $ belial  $
$ 28 $ the army day camp                                          $ belial  $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day             $ creed   $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings                     $ hooch   $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver!                                 $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur                                      $ bedlam  $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan                            $ creed   $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines                   $ hooch   $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears                                 $ phorce  $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't                           $ creed   $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate           $ creed   $
$ 38 $ snowday                                                    $ phorce  $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d                                               $ creed   $
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'


     if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not.  if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.  woog.

        mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
