     s$
        .d""b.      impulse reality press no. 224 - at war with anada.
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     $$ $$                              "Gang Work"
     $$ $$                            written by BMC
     $$ $$                          released  10/10/02
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It had been two Fridays since the last, and it was two Fridays later.  I
went into the gang headquarters to pick up my paycheque, and the gang leader
gave it to me, along with a pink slip.  Needless to say, I was crushed
because this was my first gang job and I never thought I would lose it.  He
said they were downsizing... I just went with it.

There I was with a bit of money in my pocket and a trade school diploma on
the wall of my bachelor suite.  I had taken 3 years of training to become a
gang member, and where had it gotten me?  Here.  This was it.  I ate a
handful of raw microwave popcorn kernels (cause I didn't have a microwave),
and I had a sip of the slurpee that I found on the elevator in the mall.
what to do.. what to do...

I pulled the newspaper out from somewhere and looked to see if anyone was
hiring gangsters.  There were a few listings, but all of the ones that I
called were looking for guys with more experience.  Just my luck.  How is
someone supposed to get experience if nobody will hire them?  My only
previous employer was the West Side Cartel, and I had only worked there for

six weeks.  I suppose I could have mentioned my years as a soda jerk, but
experience like that doesn't really help in this line of work.

I kept trying, but it looks like gang work is hard to come by for a fifty
year old fresh in the field these days.  It's not like the old days when you
could just walk down the street and get offered a gang job at every corner.
Man, those were the days.  I even tried the temp agencies, but lo and behold
there was no temporary gang work to be done.  Things were not looking good.

Things changed one night when I went to visit the graves of some of the
friend who went to gang school with me.  For some reason I was the only one
who didn't seem to get hired right after college.  Ahh, now was not the time
for bitterness, it was the time for reverence.  There were the tombs of
Johnny Handsome, Lucky Jim's, and my old roommate Black Jack.  As I was
looking for more graves, I stumbled upon something very interesting, or
should I say... it stumbled upon me!  It was a lone vampire in a bright
purple cape and a fur hat.  I later learned that his name was Count Dante,
and though he scared the hell out of me (and still does) he let me join his
monster gang.  Needless to say it is the most popular and exclusive gang in
the 306, and I finally got enough money to get a penthouse suite and support
my cocaine and pornography habits.  I also get full moon nights off, which
is good because I am a werewolf.  Tha End.

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   the clever thing to do here would be to put some sort of copyright. no.
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