_______  _______  __      ___    _  _______  __   __
|  ____| |  ____| | |     |  \  | | | _____| \ \ / /
| |____  | |____  | |     | \ \ | | | |____   \ \ /
|  ____| |  ____| | |     | |\ \| | | _____|   / /
| |      | |____  | |___  | | \ \ | | |____   / /
|_|      |______| |_____| |_|  \__| |______| /_/
____________________________________________________
|ISSUE 2              MAGAZINE          OCTOBER 2004|
ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ
================
||****INTRO****||
================
******************************************************
Yay, another issue of Felney Magazine!, over a year
after the previous one!. Of course the first one was
never put online, so you're actually getting two at
once. The intervening over-a-year has been good and
bad in places. Good because i have gotten into
Splatter movies, Got a Car, a job, started talking to
some hot people online, i even almost went to an Orgy!.
Bad because i had a shit girlfriend around January who
wasted nearly £900 of my money, and was awful in bed
as well. But anyway thats over with, hopefully i will
have a new boyfriend soon, who actually lives nearby!.
Also bad because the Felney comic has died, though
the site is still being updated, with stuff like this
'zine to be precise XD. This issue of the mag will have
a few different bits n' bobs in, depending on what i
want to put in really. Er...enjoy it!.
   //
O==o:::::::::::::::::::> Deathbringer
   \\

******************************************************
CONTENTS
1-In the news
1.1-Stem Cell Research

2-Sexuality
2.1-Nothing much

3-Fun Files

4-Chat

5-The Garden Shed
5.1-Simple smoke/fire weedkiller bomb

6-Movie/Media Reviews
6.1-Violent Shit 3: Infantry of doom
6.2-Zombie 90: Extreme Pestillence

7-Readers Letters

8-Cool Lyrics
8.1-Sexuality, Billy Bragg

9-Links

10-Wrap Up

******************************************************
               ________ ________
              |daily   v sport  |
              |truth   |========|
              |========|========|
              |===IN THE NEWS===|
              |========|========|
              |========|========|
              |________|________|

STEM CELL RESEARCH:
Okay, this has been a major point in the US Elections,
aside from Iraq that is. Basically the twat (Kerry) is for
it and the bigger twat (Bush) is against it. Of course
anybody who is against something which can make
disabled people walk, blind people see and things like
that is utterly mad. It could also be a decent semi-
cure for Cystic fibrosis, which my old boyfriend had.
Anyway, its hard to peice together why people are
against it, because those that are are illiterate, but it
seems like the basic gist of thier arguement is that
disabled people chose to be that way, or are being
punished by some fictional character called "God" because
they saw thier parents naked when they where young. Oh and
some of them reckon that it is wrong to take the
'base' cells from a test-tube grown foetus and use them to
save the life of a fully grown person. Because they reckon
the aborted body of some baby that would grow up to
become an ASBO yob is more important than Christopher Reeve.
See, these "people" are dangerous and criminal, and should
be challenged, ridiculed and defeated.

WITHCAM TOLL:
Last issue, i said a mate from college had his escort
written off there. A few months back i was looking through
Friends Reunited at people who left my school before me,
and i saw some bloke who i got on quite well with (nice
body too) was KILLED there!, But they still say it is
"Not economically viable" to build one!. Come on, i have
no social life and most of my family live outside the
Fens, and i know two people who have been affected by that
nightmare junction!. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!

******************************************************
       _______
      /  ____/
     /  /___
     \____  \EXUALITY
     ____/  /..yer laws do not apply to me!
    /______/

-*Shrugs shoulders*
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        ###### MEPH.                                           ##########
Taken from: http://www.spacebarcowboy.com/ascii/a-z/asciiporna.html

In other news, i'll be working on erotic stories or
other things for future issues, did start a cool one based
on one of my sexy friends i knew at college, but couldnt
be bothered to finish it in time (gotta play San Andreas)
so have this woman instead

******************************************************
  _________
_\        \____________
|_ FUN FILES____________///:::==-
  /________/

COMPUTERS

Here are some ways to generally pull pranks with Computers,
handy for School IT lessons when you are bored

Windows 95 font folder trick:
If your school/office is still using Win 95 "Encourage"
them to upgrade by re-naming the Fonts folder, windows
will then refuse to start until it is fixed (presumably
through DoS). I did this to one of the computers in the
library at secondary school and it just sat there with an
"Out of order" sign on it for months, hehe.

Winlock:
This was a very cheap and very crap thing they used at
school to block porn sites ect. There are two main ways
around it, First one is if you want to browse folders
such as My documents. Open up word, go to "open", choose
'all files', and browse as normal, remembering to right
-click on things you want to open so they dont open as
'babble' in word. If you want to see porn sites, get on
the 'net and go into Internet options, then connections
and disable 'Connect through a proxy server', and there,
you can visit any site you like!. Of course, most places
other than cheap, christian, secondary schools will
probably have systems which arent as easy to crack, but
its worth a try!

Magnets:
Yeah yeah, running a small one over a random disk
which is laying around the room is one thing, unscrewing
the back of the computer and putting it inside is
another altogether. Things will keep going wrong and
getting corrupted all over the place. Especially if
pissed-off admins thump the computer and jolt the
magnet around a bit inside, so it can 'work on' something
else

Keyboards:
Prize out a few of the less obvious keys and swap them
around, can be hilarious if done right.

******************************************************
         ___   __  __              _____
        / __|  | | | |      /\    |_   _|
       | |     | |_| |     /  \     | |
       | |     |  _  |    / /\ \    | |
       | |__   | | | |   / ____ \   | |
        \___|  |_| |_|  /_/    \_\  |_|

"Tom and jerry, thats like the Jaguar mk2 of cartoons..
Johnny Bravo is the Austin Allegro"
-Me on cartoons

"Heartbeat, i only watch that to see the classic cars,
like the Rover P4 with an 07-04 Tax disc"
-Me on on certain ITV 60's cop show

"Sorry, but i think a Hearse crashing at 60mph and the
coffin skidding down the road is the funniest thing in
the world!"
-Me on the Daimler Majestic Major

"If you are a fan of Fulci, Lenzi, Deodato and the rest
Saw scores a miserable 2/10 on the gore scale. If on
the other hand, you are used to hollywood stuff, it
scores about 7"
-Me on the gore in Saw XD

"The type of car i want is...a red one"
-My "Straighter than thou" friend being caught out

******************************************************
       _______________
      //\\     THE    \
     //  \\  GARDEN    \
    //    \\    SHED    \
   //  ___ \\____________\
    | |   ||    ||   ||  |
    | |   ||    ||   ||  |
    | |   ||    =======  |
    | |   ||             |

SIMPLE SMOKE/FIRE BOMB

Introduction: If you remember SWAT magazine, which was
the inspiration for this, and my first, and very lame
"anarky zine" named F.A.T Magazine (if you remember that,
er, forget it!). You will remember in issue 16 or so they
discovered the pyrotechnic power of Sodium Chlorate Weedkiller,
well me and my mates did a few experiments of our own and
came up with this cool device. The best thing is, you get get
all the stuff to make this over-the-counter in Britian with
no questions asked!.

Ingredients:
Sodium Chlorate Weedkiller
Sugar
Kitchen roll
Two old jam jars
Kettle
Water

What to do:
-Boil the kettle and fill one jar, let the water cool down
a bit while slowly adding weedkiller and sugar in a roughly
1:1 ratio (or mix them first then put them in)

-When the weedkiller stops dissolving, add a bit more for
luck, this will form sediment on the bottom

-Let more sediment form from the stuff you dissoved as the
water cools

-Put 2-3 layers of kitchen roll over the second jar (larger
than the first one if possible, dont make a mess or your
parents might catch you, naughty boy)

-Pour the solution through the kitchen roll, making sure you
soak as much of the sheets as possible so it doesnt all
concentrate in the middle

-Put it near a fan or something to let it dry, also dim
sunlight or a radiator will do. Dont apply too much heat, i
dont know what the ignition temperature of this stuff is, but
you DONT want it going off indoors!

-When the paper has dried, you will notice crystals all over
it and it will be very stiff. Take this paper outside, hold
it at arms length (safer still, use tongs), and light,
drop it immediatley if you value your fingers

Notes: This makes a totally gigantic amount of foul-smelling
blue-white smoke, and burns very rapidly as well (no
evidence, a huge load of smoke but no fire by the time
any witnesses get there XD). Thats also why you should
drop it pretty quick. Plus using the method above you get
a few sheets of it to use. The one on top will have gotten
most of the weedkiller and will work best though. Sheets with
only a little weedkiler on act like a 'time delay' and make
the same amount of smoke, only very slowly, they basically
smoulder for as much as half an hour. the Weedkiller contains
a fire depressant to stop maniacs from using it to make
inceniary and explosive devices, but the Sugar, as well as
the dissolving, helps to nullify/remove the depressent, also
being stuck on a sheet of kitchen roll helps, as that burns
very easily, Sodium Chlorate plus Sugar on its own makes
a nice smoke powder, but its hell to light.

There are much more powerful devices and explosives that
can be produced from this stuff, but i wont go into those
here because i want to keep all Felney stuff on a legit,
paid host one day. If you do want to know how to make those
hunt down SWAT magazine on Google, thier site is long gone
(it revived briefly about a year ago and they released
a 'c00kb00k' with thier best stuff in it) but it is mirrored
in a ton of places, just search!

******************************************************

   |//Ż//Ż//Ż//Ż//Ż|
   |ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ|
   |*MOVIE REVIEWS*|
   |ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ|
   |_______________|

A new section!. My taste in movies is what you might call
"Psychotic", as you will see from some of the ones i review.
If you want to buy any of these, search shops for "Vipco" or
"Dead of night collection" headers (a lot of thse are cut by
the BBFC, despite 'Uncut at last!!' and 'Previously BANNED!'
being plastered all over them). An alternative source is
www.horrortheatervideo.com, they take Paypal payments, ship
you your (NTSC Format-you can get cheap VCR's that will play
this in Britian now, search Curry's ect) tapes in a matter of
days, and are not a con, even though thier site looks dodgy.
They also send mainly Totally un-cut movies out, for instance
"Cannibal Holocaust", which in britian, despite being 'un-cut'
is actually 10 minutes shorter than the version i have..hmm XD.

VIOLENT SHIT 3: INFANTRY OF DOOM
I got this on a very 'undergound-looking' video from some horror
site, under the title Zombie doom (annoyingly, it was recorded off
a DVD, and they decided to play all the trailers on there before the
film). I was after sickening, brutal gore, and i got it!!. Think
of a nasty way to be killed, add in more blood than it is physically
possible to store in the human body, and it is in this film somewhere!.
You get face-ripping, chest-opening, decapitations by the bucket load,
shooting, stabbing, slicing, burning and drowning, in a virtually
non-stop orgy of violence (especially near the end). Of course, being
made on a budget of about 100 Deutschmarks, the sets are just tents and
forests, a 'life raft' is a child's inflatable dinghy, and the assistant
to 'the meister' (played by director Andreas Schnaas) gets killed 3 times,
thing is, i didn't even realize it wasn't supposed to be him but 'just
another guard' until the end. Also the worst part of this film is the
dubbing, it seems to have all been done by one person, and in many scenes
it is hard to tell who is talking. I feel safe in saying it is the SECOND
worst dubbing i have ever heard (worst being "Zombie 90"), they should have
used subtitles. But apart from that, this comes highly recommended to anyone
who just wants splatter, not high art

ZOMBIE 90: EXTREME PESITLLENCE
This is by the same people who made Violent Shit, and was made in
between VS1 and VS2. Basically the storyline is that a plane crashed
while carrying a cure for AIDS, and it revives corpses which happen to
be laying round in a forest for some reason (killed by Karl the butcher?).
While this movie does feature some disgusting gore, scenes which "go too
far", and therefore are way cool (a baby gets ripped apart, and zombies
eat the intestines). It is let down by the horrendous dubbing. In
Violent Shit 3 a single person did it all, but at least he took it
semi-seriously, in this several people have done it (one woman is voiced
by a man though, but she dies quite quickly), but they sound really stupid.
For instance one scientist has a 'pimp' voice, and another has a really
stereotyped 'nerd' voice, crossed with Cartman, He also takes too long to
die, so you have to listen to it. Finally it sounds like the people doing
the dubbing where almost trying to MST the movie, seeing as a load of
stupid comments and dialouge appears like "Hey, turn in here
in here, go in here, slow down, turn your signal off man"
and "Watch me run this guys dick over!" (oh yeah, some people
making out have dubbed 'kiss' noises which sound exactly the
same as the zombie 'munching' noises, both of which sound stupid.
Unfortunatley, while this film does have some nice gore scenes,
i cant really reccommend it purely on the basis of the
dubbing. Subtitles would have been much better. An idea might
be to go to Germany and try and hunt it down there (apparently
it is being bundled with all 3 Violent Shit movies on a special
DVD there, hopefully that has english subs, alternativley learn
german XD)

******************************************************
___   ___           ___   ___   ___ || ____
|   \ | __|   //\   |   \ | __| |   \  / __/
| _ / | __|  //_\\  |   | | __| | _ /  \__ \
|| \\ |___| //   \\ |___/ |___| || \\  /___/
_     ___   ____   ____   ___   ___   ____
| |   | __| |_  _| |_  _| | __| |   \ / __/
| |_  | __|   ||     ||   | __| | _ / \__ \
|___| |___|   ||     ||   |___| || \\ /___/


Hey, nobody wrote in because the first issue was not put
online, WHAT a suprise eh?. If you have anything to say about
the 'zine, suggestions, comments or views, then email me!
m_deathbringer@hotmail.com

******************************************************
         _______
     ___/       /                  _______
   /            __________________/       \
  |  ||=================================|| /
  |  ||=================================||/
  |   THIS MONTHS COOL SONG LYRICS
  \_____
        \_______\

SEXUALITY-BILLY BRAGG

I've had relations with girls from many nations
I've made passes at women of all classes
And just because you're gay I won't turn you away
If you stick around I'm sure that we can find some common ground

Chorus:
Sexuality - Strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - Your laws do not apply to me

A nuclear submarine sinks off the coast of Sweden
Headlines give me headaches when I read them
I had an uncle who once played for Red Star Belgrade
He said some things are really left best unspoken
But I prefer it all to be out in the open

Sexuality - Strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - Your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - Don't threaten me with misery
Sexuality - I demand equality

I'm sure that everybody knows how much my body hates me
It lets me down most every time and makes me rash and hasty
I feel a total jerk before your naked body of work

I'm getting weighed down with all this information
Safe sex doesn't mean no sex it just means use your imagination
Stop playing with yourselves in hard currency hotels
I look like Robert De Niro, I drive a Mitsubishi Zero

Sexuality - Strong and warm and wild and free
Sexuality - Your laws do not apply to me
Sexuality - Come eat and drink and sleep with me
Sexuality - We can be what we want to be

******************************************************
        ______       ______
     __/______\_____/______\__
     ___|____|_LINKS_|____|___
       \______/     \______/

THIS MONTHS COOL LINK:
www.horrortheatervideo.com
-This site sells NTSC Format Tapes of some of the best
and goriest horror movies ever made!. Plus most of it
is totally un-cut "underground" (or just Dutch) versions
that they have procured, for instance Cannibal Holocaust,
the Vipco version of it is cut by 10 minutes (check
running times against imdb.com)

THIS MONTHS SHIT LINK:
www.scaryjohnkerry.com
-Check out the "Gay marriage" page, they try to first
put him down by saying he supports it (check out the
'scary' gay bikers they used in the background..oh my
god, they are out to kill our children!), then the tone
suddenly changes tone to "He didnt show up at congress
to  vote his support for it!" as if they have suddenly
turned "good cop" and are trying to win the support of
gay people there for a laugh XD

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Well thats it for issue 2 of Felney Magazine!. Look out
for next month's/years 'zine which will contain more
political/news rants, Articles on how to make dodgy
devices and have a laugh at the expense of right-wing
idiots, sexy stories and cool links. Also i am considering
Game reviews/Previews, Previews or information on stuff
which will be coming to the site, and a big history article
about my FAT zine from 1999, and the ones that inspired it
(SWAT, A-S, APT, UP, F4ITH ect). Remember to write in if you
have any comments, suggestions or articles you want me to
add

Contact info:
E-mail and MSN: m_deathbringer@hotmail.com
AIM: crazyanarkist
Felney webpage: http://felneycomic.keenspace.com
Also i will try and upload it to textfiles.com

Disclaimer:
Building items from the "garden shed" section of the
mag is dangerous and shouldn't be attempted without
great care, for more information you must first join the
robot wars club...er...i mean i take no reponsibility
if something from this zine gets you injured or beaten
up, which lets face it is highly likley if youre a
non-straight anarchist in this country, specially
if youre in the Fens. So dont do anything this mag
says, just pretend you never read it!

   //
O==o:::::::::::::::::::> Deathbringer
   \\


