----{y0lk #93}----------------------------------------------------------------
a joltcola y0lk (joltcola)
----{dividers. how y0lk-ish}--------------------------------------------------

 __        __       _____________       _____                  ____      ____
[  ]      [  ]     /\\          \\     |     |                |    |    /   /
[  ]      [  ]    // \\          \\    |     |                |    |   /   /
[  ]      [  ]   //   \\          \\   |     |                |    |  /   /
[  ]      [  ]  //     \\          \\  |     |                |    | /   /
\   \    /   /  ||      \\         ||  |     |                |    |/   /
 \   \  /   /   || jc    \\        ||  |     |                |    /   /
  \   \/   /    ||        \\       ||  |     |                |    \   \
   \      /     ||         \\      ||  |     |                |    |\   \
    \    /      ||          \\     ||  |     |                |    | \   \
    |    |       \\          \\   //   |     |                |    |  \   \
    |    |        \\          \\ //    |     |_____________   |    |   \   \
    |    |         \\          \\/     |                   |  |    |    \   \
    |____|          \\_________//      |___________________|  |____|     \___\
                                                                          

----{what an uninteresting ascii}---------------------------------------------
you're too negative, punk.

----{you're the one that wrote me, moron}-------------------------------------
hey, fuck you. no more dividers, asshole. goddamn. 

-
pee pee!

tonight i had to pee, but i didn't want to wake everyone in my house up, so i 
went to pee out the window. opened the window and started peeing, but the 
screen was still up. that sucked. i was splashed with urine. after i was had 
washed up (wakey wakey!@)  i went on irc and told #zines about it. tMM told me
that the same thing had happened to me. woah. like, freak me out, totally. 

-
1npH03 m3r5Hu1s

late at night there's nothing on except for infomercials. i have a top five list
of my favorite infomercials.

1) the water filter 2001
2) the miracle mop
3) don lupree's money making guide
4) the abflex
5) susan powter

man. the water filter infomercial is really good. i even thought about buying
it for a second. werd.

-
black 47

black 47 is the rockinest band ever. everyone go and get a black 47 album right
now. i'm going to personally see to it that black 47 becomes the most popular
band ever. they're make me cum, they're so good. man. 

-
school

my school rocks. it's because my teachers are so cool. today i had a 20 minute
discussion with one of my teachers about the best type of soup. i wish i could
have discussions like that more  often.

-
the sharper image

i was flipping through the sharper image cataloug today and realized that every-
thing in it was totally pointless. "The safest way to slice your bagles! Only 
$39.95!" "Life sive hand carve statue of Yoda from the popular series Star Wars!
Only $199.95!" those guys are richer than i'll ever be.

-
bye

yeah, so, y0lk and stuff. bye.

--(samurai's note)-----------------------------------------------------------

       MOGEL DID NOT WRITE Y0LK NUMBER 92.  IT WAS TRIP.

       we here at y0lk are *REALLY* sorry.

       although no explanation can *truly* make up for this error, i'd like
to clear everything up and say that it was all creed's fault.

--(index!@#)-----------------------------------------------------------------

.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $                            title                           $ author  $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat                                       $ creed   $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed   $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.              $ creed   $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin         $ creed   $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food                     $ creed   $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus                                   $ hooch   $
$ 07 $ hail santa!                                                $ creed   $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?             $ hooch   $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock.                                           $ creed   $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam                                        $ bedlam  $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview             $ hooch   $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta]       $ hooch   $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@            $ hooch   $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink                            $ phorce  $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness                                 $ creed   $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina     $ creed   $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you?                            $ hooch   $
$ 18 $ lemmings                                                   $ phorce  $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology                                   $ belial  $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene     $ cd/h0   $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!?                                           $ phorce  $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself                  $ creed   $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale                                     $ phorce  $
$ 24 $ group masturbation                                         $ belial  $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs             $ creed   $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet                               $ phorce  $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause                                         $ belial  $
$ 28 $ the army day camp                                          $ belial  $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day             $ creed   $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings                     $ hooch   $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver!                                 $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur                                      $ bedlam  $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan                            $ creed   $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines                   $ hooch   $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears                                 $ phorce  $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't                           $ creed   $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate           $ creed   $
$ 38 $ snowday                                                    $ phorce  $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d                                               $ creed   $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth                             $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue              $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet                                     $ hooch   $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods!  from yonder cometh y0lk!                $ creed   $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue        $ phorce  $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass!                                  $ creed   $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars                  $ creed   $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers             $ creed   $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed   $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life      $ creed   $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst                                      $ creed   $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave          $ trip    $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet                                             $ creed   $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost                                            $ poots   $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!#                                      $ phorce  $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death               $ creed   $
$ 56 $ dead cats                                                  $ juke    $
$ 57 $ my inner taco                                              $ handle  $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours?                                        $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money               $ lumpy   $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant                       $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road?                        $ insane  $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern                                          $ mutter  $
$ 63 $ ELiTE LiT from the master himself                          $ creed   $
$ 64 $ creed's k-rad lit archives, volume two                     $ creed   $
$ 65 $ UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. $ creed   $
$ 66 $ how y0lk saved my life (sorta)                             $ creed   $
$ 67 $ shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles             $ ideal   $
$ 68 $ some puppet plays                                          $ phorce  $
$ 69 $ "... Hello operator ..."                                   $ mutter  $
$ 70 $ i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding.                  $ traq    $
$ 71 $ battle of the ants                                         $ rage    $
$ 72 $ fun on the phone                                           $ ideal   $
$ 73 $ yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries..$ handle  $ 
$ 74 $ i love you as my own mother                                $ sphrog  $
$ 75 $ jamesy and the giant slinky                                $ jamesy  $
$ 76 $ do not fuck with the big and hairy bears                   $ murmur  $
$ 77 $ horror story                                               $ oeb     $
$ 78 $ dat wh0re                                                  $ s.sheep $
$ 79 $ the ewok rant                                              $ taraxis $
$ 80 $ the arcade avenger                                         $ tao     $
$ 81 $ the night before 2600                                      $ d.cheez $
$ 82 $ journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist     $ taraxis $
$ 83 $ a generic y0lk file                                        $ mogel   $
$ 84 $ cultural inclination?                                      $ m.head  $
$ 85 $ australia through the eyes of a spoon                      $ spoony  $
$ 86 $ the life of a demented sysop                               $ spoony  $
$ 87 $ little johnny carpenter                                    $ franman $
$ 88 $ phan male                                                  $ ideal   $
$ 89 $ bighurt is back!#                                          $ bighurt $
$ 90 $ the discovery channel                                      $ sphrog  $
$ 91 $ fruitopia caps!@#$                                         $ bighurt $      
$ 92 $ the story of carla                                         $ TRIP    $
$ 93 $ a joltcola y0lk                                            $ joltcola$
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"

-=[infoez]=------------------------------------------------------------------

     if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not.  if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.

phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!@  beware!#
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
mindcrime is a crazed oriental looking for revenge.
[clarification: mindcrime may actually be a y0lk member.  no one knows.]
heil creed.  <HEIL!#  HEIL!#>

to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp://ftp.openix.com/ftp/phorce/y0lk

or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373.  k-rad.

*or*... look for "y0lkb0t" on irc, efnet.  type "@y0lk (number)" for y0lks.

_OR_... ATTENTION y0lkies!#  join the y0lk mailing list!#  chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too!#  email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
"subscribe y0lk" in the body of the message.

OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isn't that special? join y0lknet too.  thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@

OR!# coming soon!  micro radio!#  a y0lk hour-of-fun ON THE AIR!#
(sorry, available only for those in the northern new jersey area.)

don't you feel like you're getting a little too much information here?
couldn't we just show our ftp site and shut up?  it's just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this.  what a bunch of losers we are.
