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* AIR IN THE PARAGRAPH LINE *
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A Journal of Jon Konrath's life, etc.
Issue 6/August 1996  The Minimalist Issue

I've become so apathetic, I don't even want to get up and use the
computer.  I mastered all of this issue in one pass on a legal pad
while half-asleep in bed, and never mailed out hard copies to anyone
because I'm out of stamps.  Sorry.  Let me summarize what's up.

First, this.  I've been thinking of killing the zine.  Maybe I will.
But I needed to get something out so people didn't think I died.

There are few things that have hampered my productivity since July.
They are:

a) Went home. Went to Bloomington. Got depressed.
b) Met girl.  Everything went wrong.  Got depressed.
c) Went to dentist since first time since 1989.
d) It's damn hot here.

Let me explain these four points:

First, I went home for my mom's wedding.  I'll summarize, to avoid
boredom and potential lawsuits.  I rented a nice car (Corolla), saw my
friend Jia, drove from O'Hare to South Bend (160 miles) in 1 hr 26
minutes.  Stayed at the Ray Miller house of nun sodomy.  Met Ray's new
girlfriend (not a nun, and he hasn't sodomized her, but he's working
on it).  Saw my dad.  Didn't see my mom except at the ceremony for
about 15 minutes.  Got the fuck out of there when they started
squaredancing.  Drove to Bloomington.  Saw Tom Sample in Indy on the
way down and saw the inside of the Vogue.  Saw Suzanne the Morbid
Chick.  Her room has blue walls and a Bjork poster.  Went with her to
White Castle.  Told the person at the counter "I came all the way from
Seattle to eat here" and they said "I'm sorry".  Saw some more of
campus including my old house at Colonial Crest and my old place on
Mitchell.  Hung out with my man Steve Simms, went to the Showalter
fountain and drove around.  Went to the home of Simms which used to be
the home of Simms and Konrath.  Slept on my old couch.  Saw a lot of
my old stuff I left behind at the house and felt freaky.  Went to
Mr. D's the next morning and saw Michelle Stasy.  Drove to Chicago and
flew home.

Why was Bloomington depressing?  I miss the place.  I love Seattle,
but Bloomington in the summer means my first book, reckless abandon,
10,000 fine 18-24 year old single women in shorts, cool places to hang
out, and a certain intimacy that Seattle doesn't offer.  And now,
summer is just another 3 months of the year.  It's no longer a
vacation or a break between two periods of work.  Now it's just
different weather outside the office window.  I've grown up.  Sigh...

Part two, the girl.  This summary is easy.  We emailed and she seemed
cool.  I went to her place, we hang out, ate food, watched a film.  It
seemed comfortable, a bit awkward, but cool.  I never heard from her
again.  I emailed, no answer.  I called, and always got the machine.
I went into a tailspin of self-loathing, depression, and recollection
of every bad feeling I could think of with regard to dating.  My
friend Jennifer hit me in the head with a brick and told me a billion
reasons I should be pissed at her or the world and not me, and told me
to go drink ripple and read Screw magazine or something.  I'm somewhat
better now, but I'm still unsure about the whole relationship thing
and quickly approaching my third year of singularity, so prospects
seem grim there.

The dentist.  I won't get into details here, that's going to be in the
next issue.  But he set me up with 4 more appointments, so you know
there will be some construction in the future.

And the heat.  Top floor apartments with no air conditioning suck in
the summer.  Showering 3 times a day is required in this place in
July.

HAUKU:

Punk rock girl, red hair
leather jacket from nordstrom
jack boots from the gap

I kill nuns he said.
Want to buy a frozen corpse?
No thanks, I just quit.

49152
C triple zero, in hex
fuck man, I'm a geek

OTHER STUFF:

I'm currently wavering between edits of _Summer Rain_ and _Rumored to
Exist_.  _Rain_ was divided from 12 long chapters into 45 small
chapters grouped into 3 books.  More readable, more editable... I'm
writing more on _Rumored_ now, getting into some weird, fucked up
additions and the edits are going golden.  I like what's happening,
and hope others will too.

As for the format in this newsletter - I'm typing this thing in a
month late.  This is a "limited" edition in the sense that I didn't
have much to report, was too depressed to report it, and didn't have
creative new content with the books and everything else eating at my
time.  I also don't have a photocopier anymore and can't afford to
print $40 of copies and then buy $20 of stamps when only 3 or 4 people
regularly send me trades or comments on the issues.  So I guess this
is becoming more of an e-zine, which I hate, but we'll see what
happens.

BOOKS:

Been re-reading Bukowski.  _Pulp_, _Post Office_, _Women_,
_Factotum_.  All are excellent, check them out if you haven't
already.  Also, Mark Leyner is a fucking genius.  Check out _My
Cousin, My Gastroenterologist_ if you get a chance.

ZINES:

59 Cents          Send 2 stamps, 20 pp, great articles and funny stuff.
c/o Jam Records
POB 19806
Seattle WA 98109

Metal Curse            Send $3 for more metal reviews than you'll ever
POB 302                see in your life.  Plus writing by yours truly!
Elkhart, IN 46515-0302

Perezvon Plays Dead c/o Daniel  Lots of great rants, life, in poverty,
219 1st ave N #c                humor, and good cartoons.  Well done! 
Seattle, WA 98109               46 pp digest only $2  

Milky Zine        VERY well done, well laid out, great art, slick cover.       
614 E Union #102  Excellent, funny articles, only $2 and worth every penny!
Seattle WA 98122

I was going to put a crossword puzzle here, but they are impossible to
draw using - and | and all of that shit.  Sorry.  It wasn't that great
of a puzzle anyway.

Thanks for putting up with this shit.  I'll try better next time, or
maybe I won't.  Colophon:  I wrote all of this with a Pilot pen on a
stolen legal pad while listening to Miles Davis: _Bitches Brew_ CD 1.
I typed it in using emacs.  No Microsoft stuff was used.  Those guys
are icky.  Send stuff to:

Jon Konrath          206 343 5604 (home)
600 7th Ave #520     206 217 7811 (work)
Seattle, WA 98104
http://www.speakeasy.org/~jkonrath

Copyright (C) 1996 by Jon Konrath.  All Rights Reserved.

Air in the Paragraph line is always changing.  Send ideas, stuff for
review, etc etc.  Hardcopy and back issues are a buck and/or postage,
or trade.  I try to publish every month, but you know how that goes.

Thanks to Ray, Tim, Simms, A, Sestrick, Jia, and the Coca-Cola
Company.  No thanks to Issaquah Ford.