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*     PISS PHILEZ ISSUE 15      *
*                               *
*        Back To School         *
*                               *
*       by Defenestrator        *
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Well everybody, it's time to go back to school.  Yes, that hellish fiend 
of a place where your sole purpose is to get a bad case of narcolepsy 
(sleeping at any time), carp at people, beat up losers, hack the network 
(my personal fave), or even do some work.  Yeah, I know, that last one 
was pretty scary.

So, since a new year begins, I thought I'd write some shit about how to 
have fun at school to pass away those 9 months between summers.  

Now that I've got enough bullshit lines, I can start with the good stuff.

PHUN THINGS TO DO AT SCHOOL
---------------------------

1.  Get like 30 spools of thread.  Give one to everybody.  Tie your 
thread on to something and pass it on.  If your dumb shit teacher finds 
out, say it was in the name of art, man.

2.  Take all the doors off the hinges and make it look real.  Then watch 
the door fall over.

3.  Always carry a small flathead and small phillips head screwdriver.  
Find things.  Take them apart.  Like computers.

4.  Get into the school network (trust me there is one).  I shouldn't 
have to tell you what to do from here (Mwaaaaaahahaha).

5.  Go near the intercom.  See if you can get into it.  If so, bring a 
CD of Wu-Tang Clan and broadcast it.  This freaks out the older people.

6.  Make a super stink bomb out of hydrogen sulfide.  Put it in someone's 
locker and super glue it shut.  Or better yet, find the AC system.  This 
WILL evacuate buildings.

7.  Do like me and PhrostByte did, light tables on fire in Science class.  
Our dumb shit teacher didn't find out until the fire had been put out 
and then he said "Hmm.  I smell smoke."  NO SHIT BUDDY!

8.  At assemblies, get those Snap-n-Pops.  Throw them at people.  Watch 
people scream when things explode in front of them.

9.  If your school ceiling has those little squares that can be pushed 
up, stick a dead fish in there.  They'll never find it.  Best when you 
have a cold and can't smell anything.

10.  Make a list of all the teachers' phone numbers and information.  
Post it all over the school.

11.  Take that list and cancel credit cards, phone service, electricity, 
water, and harass them over the phone.  It's fun to hear them yell at you.

12.  In computer classes, on a disk, take the little silver or black part 
over the actual stuff the info is stored on, and lift it up a little bit 
so it will catch in the drive.  Do this to the teacher's computer.  They 
will yell at you and say "Aw shit, this is gonna take hundreds of dollars 
to fix."  Good.  I don't pay for it.

13.  Always carry a Discman.  Listen to it with the volume on MAX and the 
headphones out.  On mine, it's like a freakin stereo.

14.  Beat up people.  This gets you in trouble but is SO much fun.

15.  Light the school on fire.  For some reason, this doesn't happen a 
lot (Hmm...I wonder why).

16.  Get some weed killer.  Go out to the football field and write 
Trojans (school nickname here) SUCK!  Then watch the grass turn brown. 
Even better, light it on fire.

17.  Drop hints that Tuesday's the day.

18.  "Accidentally" lose contact lens in hallway.  Shriek that if someone 
steps on it, they gotta pay up.

19.  Get 10 cheap alarm clocks.  Set them all 5 minutes after each other 
(1:00, 1:05, 1:10...etc.) and then stick them in lockers (empty or 
otherwise).  Then super glue the lockers shut.

20.  Find someone you don't like (normally not very hard).  Get a dead 
chicken (rednecks around here have lots of them).  Put it in their 
locker, and then lock it.  This happened at the school I used to go to.  
Smelled for days.

21.  Go to a teacher/principal's house.  Beige box 900 phone sex numbers from there.

22.  Call faxback numbers to people's houses at 3:00 in the morning.  It's fun.

23.  Stand up at a break and throw food at someone.  FOOD FIGHT!!!

24.  Steal tests in advance.  My dumb shit school keeps them on the network, 
and when someone prints it out, the filename is printed on the bottom (!).  

25.  Get some snake bite antidote (the stuff that makes you vomit).  Give 
this to a lot of people.  When the toilets are clogged with vomiting 
people, start hitting bystanders.  There is a point system my friends 
and I have devised for this:

5 points - Normal Guy
10 points - Normal Girl (they freak out more)
15 points - Jock
20 points - Cheerleader (these people are losers)
25 points - Visitors
50 points - Teacher
100 points - Administrator / Deputy Prinicpal (the guy who you go 
to after you do these things)
500 points - Principal
2500 points - Superintendent

So that's 25 ways to screw your school.  In PISS #16 I'll tell you 
cool ways to cheat on tests and on homework (besides copying).

E-mail defenestrator@hotmail.com if you got more cool ways to destroy 
your school.  Flames go to dev/null@hotmail.com .


----------------------------------------------------------------------
PISS - People into Serious Shit

Founders - Defenestrator, PhrostByte
Members - 
Author Parselon
Wu Forever
kQs
CGibbons
Extinction
Faekon/Homarid
Grench
Greenseed
Tim 121
Rhodekyll
Dial Tone
Terror Zombie
Snack Barr

Contributors- 
Sameer Ketkar

PISS, the author, and anyone else does not take responsibility for 
what you do with the stuph contained in this file.  If you get busted, 
don't cry to us.  We don't care.

Want more stuff?  Go to http://www.angelfire.com/sc/PISS/philez.html
The site will change as soon as I get money for one..

E-mail the group at davematthews@rocketmail.com

©1997 PISS Publications
This file may be posted freely as long as this notice stays on the file.
All rights reserved.
