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                         T-File_2___Septemer_20_2004
                            The Blobs go to Bob's  
                            _By_Rusty_McRightwing_        

Sausage. Okay, so yesterday (Sunday 9/19/04) I was at Bobs getting some shirts.
I walk into the changing room and a few seconds later I hear the voice of a woman 
with a voice/accent resembling that of my psychotic math teacher from sophomore 
year.  I think to myself "Dear god, am I in the women's changing room?!"  It 
turned out that no, I was not.  Some poor little kid, not much younger than me 
had one phuck* of a mom.  She had come into the changing room with him.  For what 
purpose, Allah only knows.  From what I could gather from what they said, she 
wanted to buy him some pants he really didn't want. I know I shouldn't have been 
eavesdropping, but it was hardly eavesdropping, they (She) were talking so loudly.  
He said that if she bought him these pants, he would never wear them.  He started 
saying that he wore his pants a certain way in school (I was not aware that you 
could wear you pants in different ways), and that he would not be able to go to 
the bathroom.  To this the mother replied "DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE 
BATHROOM! JUST GO!!!"  I guess she meant just find some way to 
go to the bathroom, or go in your pants.  I was a little freaked out by this.
	There were numerous complaints by the child (understandably) and numerous 
yellings and threats by the mother.  At one point she started (and kept) yelling 
at him for not unbuttoning the pants he had been trying on.  I could hear plenty 
of other guys in the changing rooms snickering, and I must admit at this point I 
was on the verge of bursting out laughing.  I came to the conclusion that the 
mother was buying these pants because they were a certain style and conveyed that 
you are a certain type of person, and that the child did not want to be thought of 
as that kind of person (but maybe the mother always had) and the mother was trying 
to live through her poor son.
	After more threats about trying on pants he didn't want, the mother then 
told him to take his shirt off. This met great resistance.  He was determined not 
to take his shirt off in front of his mother, but in the end the mother's demonic 
screeching won the day (or by this time night, as the loudspeakers announced that 
the store would be closing in 10 minutes).  To get him to remove his shirt the 
mother literally screamed "DUSTIN, TAKE OFF YOUR GODDAMN SHIRT!!!" After  this, I 
heard rustling, and then the mother announced loudly to the rest of the store, 
"UUGH! I'm definitely putting you on a diet!"
	At this point, I decided to leave and get to the register to buy my shirts.  
In line, I saw the kid and his mother.  They were both amazingly obese. Not like 
normal fat people you see on the street sometimes, these people were like nothing 
I had seen before.  Oddly shaped, like their body was just a sphere with arms, legs, 
and a bulge at the top for a face. I immediately deemed them: The Blob Family, or 
The Blobs.  I got a good look at these controversial pants that had caused such 
commotion.  They were simply cargo pants.  I was like WTF mate?!
	Later that night, online, emoticon prophesized that this child had only one 
of two possible futures. One: He rebels from his psychotic, dominant mother and 
becomes a functioning member of society.  Or Two: He lives in his mother's basement 
for the rest of his life playing Dungeons and Dragons and drinking tang that his 
mother brings down periodically with the secret purpose of spying on him and making 
sure he is not looking at girlie magazines or doing etc with his etc.  See if you 
can guess which one is the only possible future.  Poor kid.  May the Force be with 
you... or maybe the silver dungeon key.  McMuffin.
