
 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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                 + the complete doomed to obscurity index +

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  `9$$$$$$$$$$bsssd$$$$$$$ `9$$$$$bsssd$$$$$$$$$P' `9$$$$$bsssd$$$$$$$$$$P'

   + listings for dto issues 1-28 & specials -- by issue, author, & title +

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 + directory by issue

 dto -- issue one
 ================

 undecided                                                              gumby
 dto, downhome baked goodness, and you!                         black francis
 a 'zine carol                                                         jamesy 
 guns for goths                                                         mogel
 how to become a conservative nut for love and money!              shadow tao
 i wanna be a king, baby!                                               mogel
 phearnet vs. killer wombat                                             mogel
 the question of representive democracy                                murmur
 piss them off                                                          eerie
 the working class                                                  eightball
 where have all my children gone? a reflection in six movements        murmur
 ozzy, you're the man                                           fake scorpion
 lavender -- condiments; chapter 417                                   murmur
 blind love                                                             gumby

 dto -- issue two
 ================

 one gunshot                                                            gumby
 kixorin' bran' gnu flava in yah ear                            black francis
 the most elite bbs in the world                                       murmur
 frannie's anarchy corner                                       black francis
 frannie's joke corner                                          black francis
 dweebs on tv                                                           mogel
 hiroshima revisited                                               shadow tao
 barium enema                                                       eightball
 logic schmogic                                                         mogel
 insert witty title here                                                mogel
 world wide waste                                                        im2k
 so hard to be punk                                                     eerie
 mr. corporate gets wired                                          shadow tao
 why lollapalooza sucks                                         fake scorpion
 how to be an ansi phag!                                             morpheus
 elevator                                                          shadow tao
  
 dto -- issue three
 ==================

 pillow                                                         thalassocracy
 gee, we really need more lobsters                                      mogel
 doomed to obscurity                                                 disorder
 buggies of death; dto versus the amish                            shadow tao
 biography                                                        dead cheese
 who the hell cares?                                                    mogel
 head like a dole                                                sweeny erect
 art is alive                                                          jamesy
 gulags; formerly known as education                                      sed
 potato soup                                                             lobo
 he gave it all away                                            fake scorpion
 fuck me, if you dare                                                    kaia
 i must suck, for i am not beaten down by the man                      murmur
 please excuse me; i'm feeling nauseous                                 vanir
 worcestershire sauce -- condiments; chapter 7                         murmur
 toilet                                                         fake scorpion
 
 dto -- issue four
 =================

 my doggy                                                                neko
 you're a damned weirdo                                                 mogel
 the real world                                                         eerie
 what do you think think of dto?                                        mogel
 technology knows no shame, the world i see has gone insane          teletype
 i was the second gunman in the kennedy assassination, sexy mama!     edicius
 pick your nose no matter who walks by you!                              base
 sweet irony                                                            mogel
 poison                                                               the gnn
 broken                                                            shadow tao
 'zines suck                                                           jamesy
 operation streetpimp                                                morpheus
 where's that dignity i ordered?                                        mogel
 dew -- condiments; chapter 1/0                                        murmur
 urination                                                          y-windoze

 dto -- issue five
 =================

 ice cream truck                                                fake scorpion
 black francis quits                                                    mogel
 white lumps: egg's poo                                           dead cheese
 dear moggie; a guide to modern love...                                 mogel
 it's not that hard, really                                            murmur
 statistics                                                     fake scorpion
 the amazing story of processed apple strudel                            neko
 respect & tolerance; my own private anarchy                            eerie
 my fate -- your doom                                           fake scorpion
 fat niggaz step to ma skillz                                     dead cheese
 i don't know what, but something's wrong                                 sed
 suck a tomato                                                           juke
 ...& silently, he died                                            shadow tao
 tee-fuckin'-hee                                                        kojak
 sage -- condiments; chapter 175                                       murmur
 ascii toons                                                    black francis
 contemptible breakfast                                            shadow tao

 dto -- issue six
 ================

 immunity integral                                                      crank
 this is where the editorial goes                                      murmur
 it's live                                                         shadow tao
 white lumps: the day the cabbage cried                           dead cheese
 can you find the encoded message?                              fake scorpion
 a man rolled up like a ball                                             juke
 power of cock                                                  fake scorpion
 sunday morning (gas station blues)                                      styx
 if i were you i'd shoot myself                                           sed
 the uncool kid                                                         creed
 the adventures of mbujn & zrplouc                                      eerie
 heinous chimera                                                        crank
 warez da warez?                                                        mogel
 scenes of the common & the ephemere, part one                          eerie
 androgynous mind                                               fake scorpion
 you crazy bastard!                                                     mogel
 sugar -- condiments; chapter 1/2                                      murmur
 ode to a pancake                                                   eightball

 dto -- issue seven
 ==================

 i win a cookie                                                         mogel
 the dto manifesto                                           dto inner circle
 a story                                                               jamesy
 press your lips against my buttock, suction practicing person!         eerie
 the crane & the crow                                              shadow tao
 <insert penis>                                                 fake scorpion
 it's 9:15am, do you know if your brain works?                          kojak
 the simmons family saga, continued                             sweeney erect
 regrets                                                               murmur
 the day the geek snapped                                               creed
 to forgive & regret                                                     styx
 the chaos theory; friday, july 15                                      eerie
 my name is mud                                                        murmur
 hapless in the hands of some kind of god                               crank
 parsley -- condiments; chapter 173                                    murmur
 demons breed at computer city                                          crank

 dto -- issue eight
 ==================

 straight outta hatboro                                         black francis
 an ode to noodles                                              black francis
 dewmed -- part one                                                    jamesy
 monumental misunderstandings throughout world history...       black francis
 me three!@#%                                                           mogel
 downward blinded gluesniffer trip to hometown america                  eerie
 hate is a bald guy named steve                                    shadow tao
 how to make an ansi bomb                                              belial
 the elf says...                                                        creed
 ascii-toons                                                    black francis
 artichoke powder -- condiments; chapter 563                           murmur
 FUCK YOU, HOOKER                                                        styx
 did i mention i'm a bastard?                                          jamesy
 a portrait of a naked chick with big tits...                   black francis
 the chaos theory; saturday, july 16                                    eerie
 frannie's poetry corner                                        black francis
 doomed to obscurity wacky fold-in                              black francis

 dto -- issue nine
 =================

 scenes of the common & the ephemere, part two                          eerie
 girls can't write                                                     jamesy
 white lumps: big num nums                                        dead cheese
 sliced & diced hooker in a ziplock bag                                  styx
 videogames stole my childhood                                       morpheus
 paranoid & justified                                                   eerie
 god likes dto                                                          mogel
 a multi-cultural spectrum of anger                                     creed
 a whimsical treatise on the topic of interdimensional...            teletype
 the conversation                                                      jamesy
 black shoe, blue shoe                                                   juke
 kelly gets her tonsils out                                            murmur
 wild jesus                                                       dead cheese
 ritalin -- condiments; chapter 815                                    murmur
 my belly                                                               mogel
 ascii stoopit strips: bob's bucket bonanza                       dead cheese
 the chaos theory; sunday, july 17                                      eerie
 bread                                                         ogre de latoya

 dto -- issue ten
 ================

 my heart belongs to ramen soup                                         mogel
 white lumps: someone likes the outdoors a lot!                   dead cheese
 identity crisis                                                         kaia
 julian simmons & the psychic friends network                   sweeney erect
 the happy game                                                          juke
 why everyone should smoke pot                                           styx
 a girl he never met                                                    kojak
 gimme access!                                                          mogel
 we are the sons of no one                                             murmur
 no outlet                                                              crank
 phat rhymes & dope thymes: old skool                             dead cheese
 you think it's over now?                                              jamesy
 i bet it would be really funny if                                       puck
 shine six/eight & the last musty smells                                eerie
 asking for it                                                  black francis
 nowhere to go but up?  who says we're moving?                         whoops
 realize                                                           shadow tao
 the original evil sugar -- condiments; chapter 1000                   murmur
 mistaken                                                            girlie17

 dto -- issue eleven
 ===================

 i know you                                                        shadow tao
 happy juice -- condiments; chapter 3,014                              murmur
 sick call                                                         yohan bawk
 demented grandpa tao stories: 'bible fun!'                        shadow tao
 mirror                                                               orestes
 the inconsistencies of the time-space continuum...       the masked marauder
 thirty seconds at pratt & sheridan                                     kojak
 the girlfriend                                                 sweeney erect
 the chaos theory; monday, july 18                                      eerie
 eggplant parmesan                                                      creed
 don't try to understand                                             girlie17
 wish                                                           fake scorpion
 all it took was one miracle e-mail                                   whisper
 present company excluded                                               creed
 into every sunset a little acid rain must fall                        murmur
 dummercon update                                                       mogel
 deliverance                                                       shadow tao
 self-respect                                                        girlie17

 dto -- issue twelve
 ===================

 and now, i'm home                                                      eerie
 love letters in the sand                                              jamesy
 the moose & the beaver                                                murmur
 because i said so                                                      mogel
 sensory stroke                                                      morpheus
 this is not an exit                                            fake scorpion
 sasparilla -- condiments; chapter 81                                  murmur
 auld ang syne                                                     shadow tao
 umm... go away                                                      girlie17
 the chaos theory; tuesday, july 19                                     eerie
 to be                                                                   puck
 discourse on nihilism                                                    sed
 i will fly to the sun, beat it, & be free                               juke
 just a girl                                                            eerie
 syntax error                                                            styx
 guess what!                                                         girlie17

 dto -- issue thirteen
 =====================

 editorial                                                             jamesy
 cat story                                                            oregano
 southborough reservoir                                                 eerie
 you can't be too careful these days!                               trilobyte
 divine this time                                                       crank
 a rant                                                                 mogel
 jesus on the run                                               sweeney erect
 a jamesy article                                                      jamesy
 the hangover                                                           eerie
 wherefore art thou dummercon?                                         murmur
 untitled                                                            girlie17
 love & hand grenades                                                    puck
 bodily orifice -- condiments; chapter 5004                            murmur
 you've been had!                                                       creed
 the chaos theory; wednesday, july 20                                   eerie
 encyclopedia mogel in: archie's stuck in the laundry chute!           jamesy

 dto -- issue fourteen
 =====================

 yeah yeah yeah                                                         mogel
 letters to the editor                                  letters to the editor
 clusterfuck                                                    sweeney erect
 less than lonely                                                       crank
 discourse on the veritability of psychic phenomena              mogel & kaia
 mincemeat -- condiments; chapter 444                                  murmur
 julian simmons & the psychic lover's network                          jamesy
 space & the reason tomithy's pudding was on the floor                   puck
 cunt licker                                                            eerie
 my wings are stuck                                                      juke
 gechoes                                                               jamesy
 have you ever had jaundice?                                           murmur
 who cares?                                                          girlie17
 mind over bladder                                                      mogel
 mary's gone to sleep                                                   eerie
 when the bough breaks                                             shadow tao

 dto -- issue fifteen
 ====================

 information or something                                              murmur
 an american sartori                                            sweeney erect
 dto and the continuing war against dumb people                         mogel
 addendum                                                              murmur
 that deep, deep lake called life                                        juke
 dr. cohen, his minion, and the games we played today                    styx
 doomed to obscurity news brief                                        murmur
 quake rocks middle east                                               jamesy
 kitchen helper                                                       oregano
 the $10,000 tab                                                        yumas
 vampyre                                                               murmur
 the shadow                                                     sweeney erect
 the harlequin                                                           base
 rind -- condiments; chapter 818                                       murmur
 the bigot dance                                                   shadow tao
 i drink, therefor                                                       puck
 megan (an abridged story of two failures)                              eerie
 a story about a twelve year old boy named sammy cagnobalia...           styx

 dto -- issue sixteen
 ====================

 look at me!                                                            mogel
 new rules of romance                                           sweeney erect
 coffee showdown                                                      oregano
 al and jane: modern day hypocracy                                  trilobyte
 an evil town                                                     ed hamilton
 condiments chapter 610: birch                                         murmur
 i don't wanna eat!!!!!                                                  styx
 kinda sugaree charms                                               anti-hero
 letters to the editor                                                 editor
 can't you see my walls are crumbling?                                 jamesy
 crazy people                                                            puck
 i am cool                                                              creed
 let's pretend it's not pathetic                                        mogel
 true to life                                                          murmur

 dto -- issue seventeen
 ======================

 oprah was right                                                        mogel
 ramble                                                                murmur
 go jump off a bridge                                                    dash
 three things they haven't learned                                       puck
 a discourse on the flaws of standard debate *or* U R DUM !!1           mogel
 strawberry sorbet                                                      mooer
 old people, their feelings, and what have you                      trilobyte
 four                                                                    juke
 shalla                                                                  neko
 specification versus exploration in western education                  yumas
 broom -- condiments; chapter 2890                                     murmur
 familure                                                               crank
 improviso                                                               puck
 entertainment                                                          eerie
 drifting gently in the sky                                        shadow tao
 2084                                                                   creed
 three swedes take on a wildeyak while eating bologna...                nybar
 justification                                                         jamesy
 coming home                                                             kaia
 syntax error; part 2                                                    styx

 dto -- issue eighteen
 =====================

 life's a dye, & then you bitch                                         eerie
 red dye number ten                                                     spiff
 persephone's cross                                                     eerie
 quiescent zeus                                                 fake scorpion
 take a trip                                                            mogel
 peacfull, in away.  also frightning                                     styx
 persephone's cross                                                shadow tao
 bullseye -- condiments; chapter 777                                   murmur
 gift                                                                  jamesy

 dto -- issue nineteen
 =====================

 my editorial                                                            puck
 peachy                                                             trilobyte
 when entering studio, [k]nock:  ACT I                                 murmur
 mode change                                                        killarney
 the most intelligent being on the planet                                styx
 taming the mind; an overview of mental projecting                   gaurdian
 a failure that binds a life to a life                                  crank
 the constitution of the eternally depressed and confused                neko
 video games were better in the early to mid-80s, damn it!             murmur
 white noise                                                             kaia
 spinach -- condiments; chapter 133                                    murmur
 the elephant king                                                       puck

 dto -- issue twenty
 ===================

 everybody loves mogel!                                                 mogel
 big fucking aneurysm -- diseases; chapter 26                            kaia
 dip switch militia                                                  morpheus
 julian simmons babysits                                        sweeney erect
 very indie                                                            murmur
 barbarian enema                                                        mogel
 the severed bloody arm of the manatee                                 rattle
 bored                                                                   styx
 mastokistic luv                                                    trilobyte
 deep                                                                  phorce
 the #preschool faq!                                                   jamesy
 why i wrote for dto                                                 graywolf
 earl                                                                   creed
 super salad                                                           murmur
 post more marlena pics and sites                                        styx
 facsimile                                                             murmur
 quench it                                                            oregano
 love affair in room 212                                                 trip
 we did your dad                                                     morpheus
 spoon & fork, crazy lovin' style                                   trilobyte
 TEN EZ STEPZ 2 HAVIN ORAL SEX!!!!!                                     crank
 a guide to the only method left on planet earth that can...            mogel
 you really need to get a life...                                        styx
 thanks for your order, rick!                                       rick chen
 ascii toons:  straight-edge comix!                                     mogel
 rollerblades are gay                                                  murmur
 my sister sucks                                                         styx
 scurvy -- diseases; chapter 1013                                       mogel
 the rice submissions                                                  jamesy
 who is this guy?                                                     mercuri
 sardines                                                           trilobyte
 winnie and arnold revisited                                           jamesy
 life is tough for jason farnon                                         mogel
 a failure that grinds a life to a life                                jamesy
 talcum powder -- condiments; chapter 732                              murmur
 normal day                                                             nybar

 dto -- issue twenty-one
 =======================

 indescribably wet fellatio                                              styx
 shiny new car (typical generic love story)                            zircus
 darkness                                                               creed
 smother                                                                eerie
 cry baby cry                                                           mooer
 god hates you                                                         jamesy
 elvis does it again                                                  squinky
 not so fancy ketchup -- condiments; chapter 101                       murmur
 the chaos theory; thursday, july 21                                    eerie
 regrets -- first blood, part two                                      jamesy
 counterpart                                                            crank
 xyz, abc, & me                                                         mogel
 more from, and yet more from                                          murmur
 herpes is forever                                                       puck

 dto -- issue twenty-two
 =======================

 hopelessly sexy                                                        mogel
 immobility                                                         trilobyte
 the juice of life                                                    oregano
 my jedi journal                                               the vindicator
 let's be friends                                                   y-windoze
 no frills                                                              vanir
 emasculation                                                           mooer
 that peppers shit from steak 'n' shake -- condiments; chapter 55      murmur
 the chaos theory; friday, july 22                                      eerie
 these jokes are GREAT!                                                  puck
 tonight on tv                                                        oregano
 thorough situational mindfuck                                    d. mcdaniel
 kitty-cat                                                             murmur
 purple finger nails and black latex make for a free man                 jook
 the human flaw                                                         eerie

 dto -- issue twenty-three
 =========================

 slack motherfuckers                                                   murmur
 be the best girl you possibly can be!                          sweeney erect
 immolation                                                         killarney
 untitled                                                hieronymous breughel
 the cliff, marilyn manson, & beer               the arts student f.k.a. euan
 mogel appeared to me in a dream and made me write this                 eerie
 the museum                                                     dan greenwell
 toothpaste shavins -- condiments; chapter 1400                        murmur
 the chaos theory; saturday, july 23                                    eerie
 tabula rousseau                                                        mooer
 untitled                                                             snufkin
 toys that caress her                                                  shroud
 undergarments for the short, round figure         goldy the pimp from pamona
 xeper and piztok                                              juan cristobal

 dto -- issue twenty-four
 ========================

 here is the address                              mogel, eerie, mooer, & kaia
 letters to the editor                                  letters to the editor
 dry thoughts from a dry brain                                  sweeney erect
 divine database                                                  d. mcdaniel
 racism: from class to classroom                                       murmur
 wet leaves                                                            jamesy
 aura of saber-toothed tiger -- condiments; chapter #4893              murmur
 a blast from the 80s                                                  jamesy
 beard club                                                           oregano
 igneous rocks are cool                                                  styx
 dance ballerina                                                        eerie
 the colonoscopy conspiracy (chapter dog)                              zircus
 the chaos theory; sunday, july 24                                      eerie
 monthly report, june '98                                                esso
 pee shy                                                                 puck

 dto -- issue twenty-five
 ========================

 mogel gets open heart surgery                                         jamesy
 letters to the editor                                  letters to the editor
 kamikaze                                                                puck
 timmy                                                                   meow
 tongue of whey -- condiments; chapter 9234                            murmur
 the intricacies of portable toilets                              d. mcdaniel
 jesus was gay                                                  sweeney erect
 new world disorder: conventional measures fall short                  murmur
 cold turkey                                                           jamesy
 upward mobility potential                                               styx
 the great brain                                                        creed
 accepting forever                                                       anya
 the chaos theory; monday, july 25th                                    eerie
 for amy                                                            pezmonkey
 yes, ok                                                                mogel
 the mix tape                                                            esso

 dto -- issue twenty-six
 =======================

 opium man?  what the hell is wrong with me?                           quarex
 letters to the editor                                  letters to the editor
 rgb owns you: copyright laws make art a hazardous pastime              eerie
 sequels to look for in 1998                                         cmw kids
 honeysuckle -- condiments; chapter 80                                 murmur
 a simmons carol                                                sweeney erect
 flying teapot                                                  ashtray heart
 japan my ass                                                            puck
 we enjoy it                                                    sweeney erect
 the lowdown on ease and serenity with a woman at a river         d. mcdaniel
 the chaos theory; tuesday, july 26th                                   eerie
 mom never learned how to swim                                          mooer
 one nation under                                                       eerie

 dto -- issue twenty-seven
 =========================

 valentine's day greeting                                           pezmonkey
 how to be smart                                                ashtray heart
 my intestinal companion                                            moonbagel
 cream of gop -- condiments; chapter 704                               murmur
 the unforgivable sin                                           sweeney erect
 syncopation nation                                                       bor
 on love and on friendship                                               puck
 human cloning for fun and profit: the fight between religion...   shadow tao
 make money fast                                                    trilobyte
 clouds and the blue, blue sky                                      moonbagel
 consume, be fruitful, and multiply                                     creed
 djarum super (i love you, roxy)                                    pezmonkey
 sensory apparatus buffet                                        mike halchin
 the chaos theory; wednesday, july 27th                                 eerie
 raped                                                                   anya

 dto -- issue twenty-eight
 =========================

 tee-hee!                                                               mogel
 the christian transformers                                     ashtray heart
 thumbs-up for doody                                                     puck
 frump-nosed chives -- condiments; chapter 8934                        murmur
 all about lint                                                         aster
 the unwritten works of ashtray heart                           ashtray heart
 changing the face and future of america                                zooey
 life, liberty, and the pursuit of randomness                         jayatri
 gates and the technicolor monopoly                                   andygee
 remembering halo                                                      jamesy
 personal choice                                                    killarney
 nights like this                                                    disorder
 sometimes i wonder                                    razorblades & bandaids
 gone missing                                                            base
 growing up dead                                                        zilla
 the 4:30 am onslaught                                                   jook

 dto -- issue thirty-eight
 =========================

 doomed to obscurity #38                                            trilobyte

 dto -- special issue one
 ========================

 tale of events at duhcon                                               mogel
 reflections                                                           murmur
 dummercon '96 live                                       dummercon attendees

 dto -- special issue two
 ========================

 tlorah returns                                                         mogel
 dead cheese's philosophical compendium of the universe           dead cheese
 dto.illinois: on the road                                shadow tao & murmur

 dto -- special issue three
 ==========================

 preface                                                                mogel
 dead star                                                              eerie

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+

 + directory by author

 andygee
    gates and the technicolor monopoly                               issue 28

 anti-hero
    kinda sugaree charms                                             issue 16

 anya
    accepting forever                                                issue 25
    raped                                                            issue 27

 ashtray heart
    flying teapot                                                    issue 26
    how to be smart                                                  issue 27
    the christian transformers                                       issue 28
    the unwritten works of ashtray heart                             issue 28

 aster
    all about lint                                                   issue 28

 base
    gone missing                                                     issue 28
    pick your nose no matter who walks by you!                        issue 4
    the harlequin                                                    issue 15
 
 belial
    how to make an ansi bomb                                          issue 8

 black francis
    an ode to noodles                                                 issue 8
    a portrait of a naked chick with big tits...                      issue 8
    ascii toons                                                       issue 5
    ascii-toons                                                       issue 8
    asking for it                                                    issue 10
    doomed to obscurity wacky fold-in                                 issue 8
    dto, downhome baked goodness, and you!                            issue 1
    frannie's anarchy corner                                          issue 2
    frannie's joke corner                                             issue 2
    frannie's poetry corner                                           issue 8
    kixorin' bran' gnu flava in yah ear                               issue 2
    monumental misunderstandings throughout world history...          issue 8
    straight outta hatboro                                            issue 8

 bor
    syncopation nation                                               issue 27

 cmw kids
    sequels to look for in 1998                                      issue 26

 crank
    a failure that binds a life to a life                            issue 19
    counterpart                                                      issue 21
    demons breed at computer city                                     issue 7
    divine this time                                                 issue 13
    familure                                                         issue 17
    hapless in the hands of some kind of god                          issue 7
    heinous chimera                                                   issue 6
    immunity integral                                                 issue 6
    less than lonely                                                 issue 14
    no outlet                                                        issue 10
    TEN EZ STEPZ 2 HAVIN ORAL SEX!!!!!                               issue 20

 creed
    2084                                                             issue 17
    a multi-cultural spectrum of anger                                issue 9
    consume, be fruitful, and multiply                               issue 27
    darkness                                                         issue 21
    earl                                                             issue 20
    eggplant parmesan                                                issue 11
    i am cool                                                        issue 16
    present company excluded                                         issue 11
    the day the geek snapped                                          issue 7
    the elf says...                                                   issue 8
    the great brain                                                  issue 25
    the uncool kid                                                    issue 6
    you've been had!                                                 issue 13

 dan greenwell
    the museum                                                       issue 23

 dash
    go jump off a bridge                                             issue 17

 dead cheese
    biography                                                         issue 3
    dead cheese's philosophical compendium of the universe          special 2
    fat niggaz step to ma skillz                                      issue 5
    phat rhymes & dope thymes: old skool                             issue 10
    white lumps: big num nums                                         issue 9
    white lumps: egg's poo                                            issue 5
    white lumps: someone likes the outdoors a lot!                   issue 10
    white lumps: the day the cabbage cried                            issue 6
    wild jesus                                                        issue 9
    ascii stoopit strips: bob's bucket bonanza                        issue 9

 disorder
    doomed to obscurity                                               issue 3
    nights like this                                                 issue 28

 d. mcdaniel
    divine database                                                  issue 24
    the intricacies of portable toilets                              issue 25
    the lowdown on ease and serenity with a woman at a river         issue 26
    thorough situational mindfuck                                    issue 22

 dto inner circle
    the dto manifesto                                                 issue 7

 dummercon attendees
    dummercon '96 live                                              special 1

 ed hamilton
    an evil town                                                     issue 16

 edicius
    i was the second gunman in the kennedy assassination, sexy mama!  issue 4

 eerie
    and now, i'm home                                                issue 12
    cunt licker                                                      issue 14
    dance ballerina                                                  issue 24
    dead star                                                       special 3
    downward blinded gluesniffer trip to hometown america             issue 8
    entertainment                                                    issue 17
    just a girl                                                      issue 12
    life's a dye, & then you bitch                                   issue 18
    mary's gone to sleep                                             issue 14
    megan (an abridged story of two failures)                        issue 15
    mogel appeared to me in a dream and made me write this           issue 23
    one nation under                                                 issue 26
    paranoid & justified                                              issue 9
    persephone's cross                                               issue 19
    piss them off                                                     issue 1
    press your lips against my buttock, suction practicing person!    issue 7
    respect & tolerance; my own private anarchy                       issue 5
    rgb owns you: copyright laws make art a hazardous pastime        issue 26
    scenes of the common & the ephemere, part one                     issue 6
    scenes of the common & the ephemere, part two                     issue 9
    shine six/eight & the last musty smells                          issue 10
    smother                                                          issue 21
    so hard to be punk                                                issue 2
    southborough reservoir                                           issue 13
    the adventures of mbujn & zrplouc                                 issue 6
    the chaos theory; friday, july 15th                               issue 7
    the chaos theory; saturday, july 16th                             issue 8
    the chaos theory; sunday, july 17th                               issue 9
    the chaos theory; monday, july 18th                              issue 11
    the chaos theory; tuesday, july 19th                             issue 12
    the chaos theory; wednesday, july 20th                           issue 13
    the chaos theory; thursday, july 21st                            issue 21
    the chaos theory; friday, july 22nd                              issue 22
    the chaos theory; saturday, july 23rd                            issue 23
    the chaos theory; sunday, july 24th                              issue 24
    the chaos theory; monday, july 25th                              issue 25
    the chaos theory; tuesday, july 26th                             issue 26
    the chaos theory; wednesday, july 27th                           issue 27
    the hangover                                                     issue 13
    the human flaw                                                   issue 22
    the real world                                                    issue 4

 eightball                                                            
    barium enema                                                      issue 2
    ode to a pancake                                                  issue 6
    the working class                                                 issue 1

 esso
    monthly report, june '98                                         issue 24
    the mix tape                                                     issue 25

 fake scorpion
    androgynous mind                                                  issue 6
    can you find the encoded message?                                 issue 6
    he gave it all away                                               issue 3
    ice cream truck                                                   issue 5
    <insert penis>                                                    issue 7
    my fate -- your doom                                              issue 5
    ozzy, you're the man                                              issue 1
    power of cock                                                     issue 6
    quiescent zeus                                                   issue 18
    statistics                                                        issue 5
    this is not an exit                                              issue 12
    toilet                                                            issue 3
    wish                                                             issue 11
    why lollapalooza sucks                                            issue 2

 gaurdian
    taming the mind; an overview of mental projecting                issue 19

 girlie17
    don't try to understand                                          issue 11
    guess what!                                                      issue 12
    mistaken                                                         issue 10
    self-respect                                                     issue 11
    umm... go away                                                   issue 12
    untitled                                                         issue 13
    who cares?                                                       issue 14

 goldy the pimp from pamona
    undergarments for the short, round figure                        issue 23

 graywolf
    why i wrote for dto                                              issue 20

 gumby
    blind love                                                        issue 1
    one gunshot                                                       issue 2
    undecided                                                         issue 1

 hieronymous breughel
    untitled                                                         issue 23

 im2k
    world wide waste                                                  issue 2

 jamesy
    a blast from the 80s                                             issue 24
    a failure that grinds a life to a life                           issue 20
    a jamesy article                                                 issue 13
    art is alive                                                      issue 3
    a story                                                           issue 7
    a 'zine carol                                                     issue 1
    can't you see my walls are crumbling?                            issue 16
    cold turkey                                                      issue 25
    dewmed -- part one                                                issue 8
    did i mention i'm a bastard?                                      issue 8
    editorial                                                        issue 13
    encyclopedia mogel in: archie's stuck in the laundry chute!      issue 13
    gechoes                                                          issue 14
    gift                                                             issue 18
    girls can't write                                                 issue 9
    god hates you                                                    issue 21
    julian simmons & the psychic lover's network                     issue 14
    justification                                                    issue 17
    love letters in the sand                                         issue 12
    mogel gets open heart surgery                                    issue 25
    quake rocks middle east                                          issue 15
    regrets -- first blood, part two                                 issue 21
    remembering halo                                                 issue 28
    the conversation                                                  issue 9
    the #preschool faq!                                              issue 20
    the rice submissions                                             issue 20
    wet leaves                                                       issue 24
    winnie and arnold revisited                                      issue 20
    you think it's over now?                                         issue 10
    'zines suck                                                       issue 4

 jayatri
    life, liberty, and the pursuit of randomness                     issue 28

 jook
    a man rolled up like a ball                                       issue 6
    black shoe, blue shoe                                             issue 9
    four                                                             issue 17
    i will fly to the sun, beat it, & be free                        issue 12
    my wings are stuck                                               issue 14
    suck a tomato                                                     issue 5
    that deep, deep lake called life                                 issue 15
    the 4:30 am onslaught                                            issue 28
    the happy game                                                   issue 10
    purple finger nails and black latex make for a free man          issue 22

 juan cristobal
    xeper and piztok                                                 issue 23

 kaia
    big fucking aneurysm -- diseases; chapter 26                     issue 20
    coming home                                                      issue 17
    discourse on the veritability of psychic phenomena               issue 14
    fuck me, if you dare                                              issue 3
    identity crisis                                                  issue 10
    white noise                                                      issue 19

 killarney
    immolation                                                       issue 23
    mode change                                                      issue 19
    personal choice                                                  issue 28

 kojak
    a girl he never met                                              issue 10
    it's 9:15am, do you know if your brain works?                     issue 7
    tee-fuckin'-hee                                                   issue 5
    thirty seconds at pratt & sheridan                               issue 11

 lobo
    potato soup                                                       issue 3

 meow
    timmy                                                            issue 25

 mercuri
    who is this guy?                                                 issue 20

 mike halchin
    sensory apparatus buffet                                         issue 27

 mogel
    a discourse on the flaws of standard debate *or* U R DUM !!1     issue 17
    a guide to the only method left on planet earth that can...      issue 20
    a rant                                                           issue 13
    ascii toons: straight-edge comix!                                issue 20
    barbarian enema                                                  issue 20
    because i said so                                                issue 12
    black francis quits                                               issue 5
    dear moggie; a guide to modern love...                            issue 5
    discourse on the veritability of psychic phenomena               issue 14
    dto and the continuing war against dumb people                   issue 15
    dummercon update                                                 issue 11
    dweebs on tv                                                      issue 2
    everybody loves mogel!                                           issue 20
    gee, we really need more lobsters                                 issue 3
    gimme access!                                                    issue 10
    god likes dto                                                     issue 9
    guns for goths                                                    issue 1
    here is the address                                              issue 24
    hopelessly sexy                                                  issue 22
    insert witty title here                                           issue 2
    i wanna be a king, baby!                                          issue 1
    i win a cookie                                                    issue 7
    let's pretend it's not pathetic                                  issue 16
    life is tough for jason farnon                                   issue 20
    logic schmogic                                                    issue 2
    look at me!                                                      issue 16
    me three!@#%                                                      issue 8
    mind over bladder                                                issue 14
    my belly                                                          issue 9
    my heart belongs to ramen soup                                   issue 10
    oprah was right                                                  issue 17
    phearnet vs. killer wombat                                        issue 1
    preface                                                         special 3
    scurvy -- diseases; chapter 1013                                 issue 20
    sweet irony                                                       issue 4
    take a trip                                                      issue 18
    tale of events at duhcon                                        special 1
    tee-hee!                                                         issue 28
    tlorah returns                                                  special 2
    warez da warez?                                                   issue 6
    what do you think think of dto?                                   issue 4
    where's that dignity i ordered?                                   issue 4
    who the hell cares?                                               issue 3
    xyz, abc, & me                                                   issue 21
    yes, ok                                                          issue 25
    you crazy bastard!                                                issue 6
    yeah yeah yeah                                                   issue 14
    you're a damned weirdo                                            issue 4

 mooer
    emasculation                                                     issue 22
    cry baby cry                                                     issue 21
    mom never learned how to swim                                    issue 26
    strawberry sorbet                                                issue 17
    tabula rousseau                                                  issue 23

 moonbagel
    clouds and the blue, blue sky                                    issue 27
    my intestinal companion                                          issue 27

 morpheus
    dip switch militia                                               issue 20
    how to be an ansi phag!                                           issue 2
    operation streetpimp                                              issue 4
    sensory stroke                                                   issue 12
    videogames stole my childhood                                     issue 9
    we did your dad                                                  issue 20

 murmur
    addendum                                                         issue 15
    artichoke powder -- condiments; chapter 563                       issue 8
    aura of saber-toothed tiger -- condiments; chapter #4893         issue 24
    birch -- condiments; chapter 610                                 issue 16
    bodily orifice -- condiments; chapter 5004                       issue 13
    broom -- condiments; chapter 2890                                issue 17
    bullseye -- condiments; chapter 777                              issue 18
    cream of gop -- condiments; chapter 704                          issue 27
    dew -- condiments; chapter 1/0                                    issue 4
    doomed to obscurity news brief                                   issue 15
    dto.illinois: on the road                                       special 2
    facsimile                                                        issue 20
    frump-nosed chives -- condiments; chapter 8934                   issue 28
    happy juice -- condiments; chapter 3,014                         issue 11
    have you ever had jaundice?                                      issue 14
    honeysuckle -- condiments; chapter 80                            issue 26
    i must suck, for i am not beaten down by the man                  issue 3
    information or something                                         issue 15
    into every sunset a little acid rain must fall                   issue 11
    it's not that hard, really                                        issue 5
    kelly gets her tonsils out                                        issue 9
    kitty-cat                                                        issue 22
    lavender -- condiments; chapter 417                               issue 1
    mincemeat -- condiments; chapter 444                             issue 14
    more from, and yet more from                                     issue 21
    my name is mud                                                    issue 7
    new world disorder: conventional measures fall short             issue 25
    not so fancy ketchup -- condiments; chapter 101                  issue 21
    parsley -- condiments; chapter 173                                issue 7
    racism: from class to classroom                                  issue 24
    ramble                                                           issue 17
    reflections                                                     special 1
    regrets                                                           issue 7
    rind -- condiments; chapter 818                                  issue 15
    ritalin -- condiments; chapter 815                                issue 9
    rollerblades are gay                                             issue 20
    sage -- condiments; chapter 175                                   issue 5
    sasparilla -- condiments; chapter 81                             issue 12
    slack motherfuckers                                              issue 23
    spinach -- condiments; chapter 133                               issue 19
    sugar -- condiments; chapter 1/2                                  issue 6
    super salad                                                      issue 20
    talcum powder -- condiments; chapter 732                         issue 20
    that peppers shit from steak 'n' shake -- condiments; chap. 55   issue 22
    the moose & the beaver                                           issue 12
    the most elite bbs in the world                                   issue 2
    the original evil sugar -- condiments; chapter 1000              issue 10
    the question of representive democracy                            issue 1
    this is where the editorial goes                                  issue 6
    tongue of whey -- condiments; chapter 9234                       issue 25
    toothpaste shavins -- condiments; chapter 1400                   issue 23
    true to life                                                     issue 16
    vampyre                                                          issue 15
    very indie                                                       issue 20
    video games were better in the early to mid-80s, damn it!        issue 19
    we are the sons of no one                                        issue 10
    when entering studio, [k]nock:  ACT I                            issue 19
    wherefore art thou dummercon?                                    issue 13
    where have all my children gone?  a reflection in six movements   issue 1
    worcestershire sauce -- condiments; chapter 7                     issue 3

 neko
    my doggy                                                          issue 4
    shalla                                                           issue 17
    the amazing story of processed apple strudel                      issue 5
    the constitution of the eternally depressed and confused         issue 19

 nybar
    normal day                                                       issue 20
    three swedes take on a wildeyak while eating bologna...          issue 17

 ogre de latoya
    bread                                                             issue 9

 oregano
    beard club                                                       issue 24
    cat story                                                        issue 13
    coffee showdown                                                  issue 16
    kitchen helper                                                   issue 15
    quench it                                                        issue 20
    the juice of life                                                issue 22
    tonight on tv                                                    issue 22

 orestes
    mirror                                                           issue 11

 pezmonkey
    djarum super (i love you, roxy)                                  issue 27
    for amy                                                          issue 25
    valentine's day greeting                                         issue 27

 phorce
    deep                                                             issue 20

 puck
    crazy people                                                     issue 16
    herpes is forever                                                issue 21
    i bet it would be really funny if                                issue 10
    i drink, therefor                                                issue 15
    improviso                                                        issue 17
    japan my ass                                                     issue 26
    kamikaze                                                         issue 25
    love & hand grenades                                             issue 13
    my editorial                                                     issue 19
    on love and on friendship                                        issue 27
    pee shy                                                          issue 24
    space & the reason tomithy's pudding was on the floor            issue 14
    the elephant king                                                issue 19
    these jokes are GREAT!                                           issue 22
    three things they haven't learned                                issue 17
    thumbs-up for doody                                              issue 28
    to be                                                            issue 12

 quarex
    opium man?  what the hell is wrong with me?                      issue 26

 rattle
    the severed bloody arm of the manatee                            issue 20

 razorblades & bandaids
    sometimes i wonder                                               issue 28

 sed
    discourse on nihilism                                            issue 12
    gulags; formerly known as education                               issue 3
    i don't know what, but something's wrong                          issue 5
    if i were you i'd shoot myself                                    issue 6

 shadow tao
    ...& silently, he died                                            issue 5
    auld ang syne                                                    issue 12
    broken                                                            issue 4
    buggies of death; dto versus the amish                            issue 3
    contemptible breakfast                                            issue 5
    deliverance                                                      issue 11
    demented grandpa tao stories: 'bible fun!'                       issue 11
    drifting gently in the sky                                       issue 17
    dto.illinois: on the road                                       special 2
    elevator                                                          issue 2
    hate is a bald guy named steve                                    issue 8
    hiroshima revisited                                               issue 2
    how to become a conservative nut for love and money!              issue 1
    human cloning for fun and profit: the fight between religion...  issue 27
    i know you                                                       issue 11
    it's live                                                         issue 6
    mr. corporate gets wired                                          issue 2
    persephone's cross                                               issue 18
    realize                                                          issue 10
    the bigot dance                                                  issue 15
    the crane & the crow                                              issue 7
    when the bough breaks                                            issue 14

 shroud
    toys that caress her

 snufkin
    untitled

 spiff
    red dye number ten                                               issue 18

 squinky
    elvis does it again                                              issue 21

 styx
    a story about a twelve year old boy named sammy cagnobalia...    issue 15
    bored                                                            issue 20
    dr. cohen, his minion, and the games we played today             issue 15
    FUCK YOU, HOOKER                                                  issue 8
    i don't wanna eat!!!!!                                           issue 16
    igneous rocks are cool                                           issue 24
    indescribably wet fellatio                                       issue 21
    my sister sucks                                                  issue 20
    peacfull, in away.  also frightning                              issue 18
    post more marlena pics and sites                                 issue 20
    to forgive & regret                                               issue 7
    sliced & diced hooker in a ziplock bag                            issue 9
    sunday morning (gas station blues)                                issue 6
    syntax error                                                     issue 12
    syntax error; part 2                                             issue 17
    the most intelligent being on the planet                         issue 19
    upward mobility potential                                        issue 25
    why everyone should smoke pot                                    issue 10
    you really need to get a life...                                 issue 20

 sweeney erect
    an american sartori                                              issue 15
    a simmons carol                                                  issue 26
    be the best girl you possibly can be!                            issue 23
    clusterfuck                                                      issue 14
    dry thoughts from a dry brain                                    issue 24
    head like a dole                                                  issue 3
    jesus on the run                                                 issue 13
    jesus was gay                                                    issue 25
    julian simmons & the psychic friends network                     issue 10
    julian simmons babysits                                          issue 20
    new rules of romance                                             issue 16
    the girlfriend                                                   issue 11
    the shadow                                                       issue 15
    the simmons family saga, continued                                issue 7
    the unforgivable sin                                             issue 27
    we enjoy it                                                      issue 26

 teletype
    a whimsical treatise on the topic of interdimensional...          issue 9
    technology knows no shame, the world i see has gone insane        issue 4

 thalassocracy
    my pillow                                                         issue 3

 the arts student f.k.a. euan
    the cliff, marilyn manson, & beer                                issue 23

 the gnn
    poison                                                            issue 4

 the masked marauder
    the inconsistencies of the time-space continuum...               issue 11

 the vindicator
    my jedi journal                                                  issue 22

 trilobyte
    al and jane: modern day hypocracy                                issue 16
    doomed to obscurity #38                                          issue 38
    immobility                                                       issue 22
    make money fast                                                  issue 27
    mastokistic luv                                                  issue 20
    old people, their feelings, and what have you                    issue 17
    peachy                                                           issue 19
    sardines                                                         issue 20
    spoon & fork, crazy lovin' style                                 issue 20
    you can't be too careful these days!                             issue 13

 trip
    love affair in room 212                                          issue 20

 vanir
    no frills                                                        issue 22
    please excuse me; i'm feeling nauseous                            issue 3

 whisper
    all it took was one miracle e-mail                               issue 11

 whoops
    nowhere to go but up?  who says we're moving?                    issue 10

 yohan bawk
    sick call                                                        issue 11

 yumas
    specification versus exploration in western education            issue 17
    the $10,000 tab                                                  issue 15

 y-windoze
    urination                                                         issue 4
    let's be friends                                                 issue 22

 zilla
    growing up dead                                                  issue 28

 zircus
    shiny new car (typical generic love story)                       issue 21
    the colonoscopy conspiracy (chapter dog)                         issue 24

 zooey
    changing the face and future of america                          issue 28

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+

 + directory by title

 a blast from the 80s
        issue 24 -- jamesy
 accepting forever
        issue 25 -- anya
 addendum
        issue 15 -- murmur
 a discourse on the flaws of standard debate *or* U R DUM !!1
        issue 17 -- mogel
 a failure that binds a life to a life
        issue 19 -- crank
 a failure that grinds a life to a life
        issue 20 -- jamesy
 a girl he never met
        issue 10 -- kojak
 a guide to the only method left on planet earth that can...
        issue 20 -- mogel
 a jamesy article
        issue 13 -- jamesy
 al and jane: modern day hypocracy
        issue 16 -- trilobyte
 all about lint
        issue 28 -- aster
 all it took was one miracle e-mail
        issue 11 -- whisper
 a man rolled up like a ball
        issue 6 -- jook
 a multi-cultural spectrum of anger
        issue 9 -- creed
 an american sartori
        issue 15 -- sweeney erect
 and now, i'm home
        issue 12 -- eerie
 androgynous mind
        issue 6 -- fake scorpion
 ...& silently, he died
        issue 5 -- shadow tao
 an evil town
        issue 16 -- ed hamilton
 an ode to noodles
        issue 8 -- black francis
 a portrait of a naked chick with big tits...
        issue 8 -- black francis
 a rant
        issue 13 -- mogel
 artichoke powder - condiments; chapter 563
        issue 8 -- murmur
 art is alive
        issue 3 -- jamesy
 ascii stoopit strips: bob's bucket bonanza
        issue 9 -- dead cheese
 ascii toons
        issue 5 -- black francis
 ascii-toons
        issue 8 -- black francis
 ascii toons:  straight-edge comix!
        issue 20 -- mogel
 a simmons carol
        issue 26 -- sweeney erect
 asking for it
        issue 10 -- black francis
 a story
        issue 7 -- jamesy
 a story about a twelve year old boy named sammy cagnobalia...
        issue 15 -- styx
 auld ang syne
        issue 12 -- shadow tao
 aura of saber-toothed tiger -- condiments; chapter #4893
        issue 24 -- murmur
 a whimsical treatise on the topic of interdimensional...
        issue 9 -- teletype
 a 'zine carol
        issue 1 -- jamesy
 barbarian enema
        issue 20 -- mogel
 barium enema
        issue 2 -- eightball
 beard club
        issue 24 -- oregano
 because i said so
        issue 12 -- mogel
 be the best girl you possibly can be!
        issue 23 -- sweeney erect
 big fucking aneurysm -- diseases; chapter 26
        issue 20 -- kaia
 birch - condiments; chapter 610
        issue 16 -- murmur
 biography
        issue 3 -- dead cheese
 black francis quits
        issue 5 -- mogel
 black shoe, blue shoe
        issue 9 -- jook
 bored
        issue 20 -- styx
 bread
        issue 9 -- ogre de latoya
 broom - condiments; chapter 2890
        issue 17 -- murmur
 blind love
        issue 1 -- gumby
 bodily orifice - condiments; chapter 5004
        issue 13 -- murmur
 broken
        issue 4 -- shadow tao
 buggies of death; dto versus the amish
        issue 3 -- shadow tao
 bullseye - condiments; chapter 777
        issue 18 -- murmur
 can you find the encoded message?
        issue 6 -- fake scorpion
 can't you see my walls are crumbling?
        issue 16 -- jamesy
 cat story
        issue 13 -- oregano
 changing the face and future of america
        issue 28 -- zooey
 clouds and the blue, blue sky
        issue 27 -- moonbagel
 clusterfuck
        issue 14 -- sweeney erect
 cry baby cry
        issue 21 -- mooer
 coffee showdown
        issue 16 -- oregano
 cold turkey
        issue 25 -- jamesy
 coming home
        issue 17 -- kaia
 consume, be fruitful, and multiply
        issue 27 -- creed
 contemptible breakfast
        issue 5 -- shadow tao
 counterpart
        issue 21 -- crank
 crazy people
        issue 16 -- puck
 cream of gop -- condiments; chapter 704
        issue 27 -- murmur
 cunt licker
        issue 14 -- eerie
 dance ballerina
        issue 24 -- eerie
 darkness
        issue 21 -- creed
 dead cheese's philosophical compendium of the universe
        special 2 -- dead cheese
 dead star
        special 3 -- eerie
 dear moggie; a guide to modern love on the information superhighway
        issue 5 -- mogel
 deep
        issue 20 -- phorce
 deliverance
        issue 11 -- shadow tao
 demented grandpa tao stories: 'bible fun!'
        issue 11 -- shadow tao
 demons breed at computer city
        issue 7 -- crank
 dew - condiments; chapter 1/0
        issue 4 -- murmur
 dewmed - part one
        issue 8 -- jamesy
 did i mention i'm a bastard?
        issue 8 -- jamesy
 dip switch militia
        issue 20 -- morpheus
 discourse on nihilism
        issue 12 -- sed
 discourse on the veritability of psychic phenomena
        issue 14 -- mogel & kaia
 divine database
        issue 24 -- d. mcdaniel
 divine this time
        issue 13 -- crank
 djarum super (i love you, roxy)
        issue 27 -- pezmonkey
 don't try to understand
        issue 11 -- girlie17
 doomed to obscurity
        issue 3 -- disorder
 doomed to obscurity news brief
        issue 15 -- murmur
 doomed to obscurity #38
        issue 38 -- trilobyte
 doomed to obscurity wacky fold-in
        issue 8 -- black francis
 downward blinded gluesniffer trip to hometown america
        issue 8 -- eerie
 dr. cohen, his minion, and the games we played today
        issue 15 -- styx
 drifting gently in the sky
        issue 17 -- shadow tao
 dry thoughts from a dry brain
        issue 24 -- sweeney erect
 dto and the continuing war against dumb people
        issue 15 -- mogel
 dto, downhome baked goodness, and you!
        issue 1 -- black francis
 dto.illinois: on the road
        special 2 -- shadow tao & murmur
 dummercon '96 live
        special 1 -- dummercon attendees
 dummercon update
        issue 11 -- mogel
 dweebs on tv
        issue 2 -- mogel
 earl
        issue 20 -- creed
 editorial
        issue 14 -- jamesy
 eggplant parmesan
        issue 11 -- creed
 elevator
        issue 2 -- shadow tao
 elvis does it again
        issue 21 -- squinky
 emasculation
        issue 22 -- mooer
 encyclopedia mogel in: archie's stuck in the laundry chute!
        issue 13 -- jamesy
 entertainment
        issue 17 -- eerie 
 everybody loves mogel!
        issue 20 -- mogel
 facsimile
        issue 20 -- murmur
 familure
        issue 17 -- crank
 fat niggaz step to ma skillz
        issue 5 -- dead cheese
 flying teapot
        issue 26 -- ashtray heart
 for amy
        issue 25 -- pezmonkey
 four
        issue 17 -- jook
 frannie's anarchy corner
        issue 2 -- black francis
 frannie's joke corner
        issue 2 -- black francis
 frannie's poetry corner
        issue 8 -- black francis
 frump-nosed chives -- condiments; chapter 8934
        issue 28 -- murmur
 fuck me, if you dare
        issue 3 -- kaia
 FUCK YOU, HOOKER
        issue 8 -- styx
 gates and the technicolor monopoly
        issue 28 -- andygee
 gechoes
        issue 14 -- jamesy
 gee, we really need more lobsters
        issue 3 -- mogel
 gift
        issue 18 -- jamesy
 gimme access!
        issue 10 -- mogel
 girls can't write
        issue 9 -- jamesy
 god hates you
        issue 21 -- jamesy
 god likes dto
        issue 9 -- mogel
 go jump off a bridge
        issue 17 -- dash
 gone missing
        issue 28 -- basehead
 growing up dead
        issue 28 -- zilla
 guess what!
        issue 12 -- girlie17
 gulags; formerly known as education
        issue 3 -- sed
 guns for goths
        issue 1 -- mogel
 hapless in the hands of some kind of god
        issue 7 -- crank
 happy juice - condiments; chapter 3,014
        issue 11 -- murmur
 hate is a bald guy named steve
        issue 8 -- shadow tao
 have you ever had jaundice?
        issue 14 -- murmur
 here is the address
        issue 24 -- mogel, eerie, mooer, & kaia
 honeysuckle -- condiments; chapter 80
        issue 26 -- murmur
 hopelessly sexy
        issue 22 -- mogel
 how to be smart
        issue 27 -- ashtray heart
 how to make an ansi bomb
        issue 8 -- belial
 head like a dole
        issue 3 -- sweeny erect
 he gave it all away
        issue 3 -- fake scorpion
 heinous chimera
        issue 6 -- crank
 herpes is forever
        issue 21 -- puck
 hiroshima revisited
        issue 2 -- shadow tao
 how to be an ansi phag!
        issue 2 -- morpheus
 how to become a conservative nut for love and money!
        issue 1 -- shadow tao
 human cloning for fun and profit: the fight between religion and science
        issue 27 -- shadow tao 
 i am cool
        issue 16 -- creed
 i bet it would be really funny if
        issue 10 -- puck
 ice cream truck
        issue 5 -- fake scorpion
 identity crisis
        issue 10 -- kaia
 i don't know what, but something's wrong
        issue 5 -- sed
 i don't wanna eat!!!!!
        issue 16 -- styx
 i drink, therefor
        issue 15 -- puck
 if i were you i'd shoot myself
        issue 6 -- sed
 igneous rocks are cool
        issue 24 -- styx
 i know you
        issue 11 -- shadow tao
 immobility
        issue 22 -- trilobyte
 immolation
        issue 23 -- killarney
 immunity integral
        issue 6 -- crank
 improviso
        issue 17 -- puck
 i must suck, for i am not beaten down by the man
        issue 3 -- murmur
 indescribably wet fellatio
        issue 21 -- styx
 information or something
        issue 15 -- murmur
 <insert penis>
        issue 7 -- fake scorpion
 insert witty title here
        issue 2 -- mogel
 into every sunset a little acid rain must fall
        issue 11 -- murmur
 i will fly to the sun, beat it, & be free
        issue 12 -- jook
 i win a cookie
        issue 7 -- mogel
 it's live
        issue 6 -- shadow tao
 it's 9:15am, do you know if your brain works?
        issue 7 -- kojak
 it's not that hard, really
        issue 5 -- murmur
 i wanna be a king, baby!
        issue 1 -- mogel
 i was the second gunman in the kennedy assassination, sexy mama!
        issue 4 -- edicius
 japan my ass
        issue 26 -- puck
 jesus on the run
        issue 13 -- sweeney erect
 jesus was gay
        issue 25 -- sweeney erect
 julian simmons & the psychic friend's network
        issue 10 -- sweeney erect
 julian simmons & the psychic lover's network
        issue 14 -- jamesy
 julian simmons babysits
        issue 20 -- sweeney erect
 just a girl
        issue 12 -- eerie
 justification
        issue 17 -- jamesy
 kamikaze
        issue 25 -- puck
 kelly gets her tonsils out
        issue 9 -- murmur
 kinda sugaree charms
        issue 16 -- anti-hero
 kitchen helper
        issue 15 -- oregano
 kitty-cat
        issue 22 -- murmur
 kixorin' bran' gnu flava in yah ear
        issue 2 -- black francis
 lavender - condiments; chapter 417
        issue 1 -- murmur
 less than lonely
        issue 14 -- crank
 letters to the editor
        issue 14 -- editor
 letters to the editor
        issue 16 -- editor
 letters to the editor
        issue 24 -- editor
 letters to the editor
        issue 25 -- editor
 letters to the editor
        issue 26 -- editor
 let's be friends
        issue 22 -- y-windoze
 let's pretend it's not pathetic
        issue 16 -- mogel
 life is tough for jason farnon
        issue 20 -- mogel
 life, liberty, and the pursuit of randomness
        issue 28 -- jayatri
 life's a dye, & then you bitch
        issue 18 -- eerie
 logic schmogic 
        issue 2 -- mogel
 look at me!
        issue 16 -- mogel
 love affair in room 212
        issue 20 -- trip
 love & hand grenades
        issue 13 -- puck
 love letters in the sand
        issue 12 -- jamesy
 make money fast
        issue 27 -- trilobyte
 mary's gone to sleep
        issue 14 -- eerie
 mastokistic luv
        issue 20 -- trilobyte
 megan (an abridged story of two failures)
        issue 15 -- eerie
 me three!@#%
        issue 8 -- mogel
 mincemeat - condiments; chapter 444
        issue 14 -- murmur
 mind over bladder
        issue 14 -- mogel
 mirror
        issue 11 -- orestes
 mistaken
        issue 10 -- girlie17
 mode change
        issue 19 -- killarney
 mogel appeared to me in a dream and made me write this
        issue 23 -- eerie
 mogel gets open heart surgery
        issue 25 -- jamesy
 mom never learned how to swim
        issue 26 -- mooer
 monthly report, june '98
        issue 24 -- esso
 monumental misunderstandings throughout world history...
        issue 8 -- black francis
 more from, and yet more from murmur
        issue 21 -- murmur
 mr. corporate gets wired
        issue 2 -- shadow tao
 my belly
        issue 9 -- mogel
 my doggy
        issue 4 -- neko
 my editorial
        issue 19 -- puck
 my fate - your doom
        issue 5 -- fake scorpion
 my heart belongs to ramen soup
        issue 10 -- mogel
 my intestinal companion
        issue 27 -- moonbagel
 my jedi journal
        issue 22 -- the vindicator
 my name is mud
        issue 7 -- murmur
 my sister sucks
        issue 20 -- styx
 my wings are stuck
        issue 14 -- jook
 new rules of romance
        issue 16 -- sweeney erect
 new world disorder: conventional measures fall short
        issue 25 -- murmur
 nights like this
        issue 28 -- disorder
 no frills
        issue 22 -- vanir
 no outlet
        issue 10 -- crank
 normal day
        issue 20 -- nybar
 not so fancy ketchup -- condiments; chapter 101
        issue 21 -- murmur
 nowhere to go but up?  who says we're moving?
        issue 10 -- whoops 
 ode to a pancake
        issue 6 -- eightball
 old people, their feelings, and what have you
        issue 17 -- trilobyte
 one gunshot
        issue 2 -- gumby
 one nation under
        issue 26 -- eerie
 on love and on friendship
        issue 27 -- puck
 operation streetpimp
        issue 4 -- morpheus
 opium man?  what the hell is wrong with me?
        issue 26 -- quarex
 oprah was right
        issue 17 -- mogel
 ozzy, you're the man
        issue 1 -- fake scorpion
 paranoid & justified
        issue 9 -- eerie
 parsley - condiments; chapter 173
        issue 7 -- murmur
 peacfull, in away.  also frightning
        issue 18 -- styx
 peachy
        issue 19 -- trilobyte
 pee shy
        issue 24 -- puck
 persephone's cross
        issue 18 -- eerie
 persephone's cross
        issue 18 -- shadow tao
 personal choice
        issue 28 -- killarney
 phat rhymes & dope thymes: old skool
        issue 10 -- dead cheese
 phearnet vs. killer wombat
        issue 1 -- mogel
 pick your nose no matter who walks by you!
         issue 4 -- base
 pillow
        issue 3 -- thalassocracy
 piss them off
        issue 1 -- eerie
 please excuse me; i'm feeling nauseous
        issue 3 -- vanir
 poison
        issue 4 -- the gnn
 post more marlena pics and sites
        issue 20 -- styx
 potato soup
        issue 3 -- lobo
 power of cock
        issue 6 -- fake scorpion
 preface
        special 3 -- mogel
 present company excluded
        issue 11 -- creed
 press your lips against my buttock, suction practicing person!
        issue 7 -- eerie
 purple finger nails and black latex make for a free man
        issue 22 -- jook
 quake rocks middle east
        issue 15 -- jamesy
 quench it
        issue 20 -- oregano
 quiescent zeus
        issue 18 -- fake scorpion
 racism: from class to classroom
        issue 24 -- murmur
 ramble
        issue 17 -- murmur
 raped
        issue 27 -- anya
 realize
        issue 10 -- shadow tao
 red dye number ten
        issue 18 -- spiff
 reflections
        special 1 -- murmur
 regrets
        issue 7 -- murmur
 regrets -- first blood, part two jamesy
        issue 21 -- jamesy
 remembering halo
        issue 28 -- jamesy
 respect & tolerance; my own private anarchy
        issue 5 -- eerie
 rgb owns you: copyright laws make art a hazardous pastime
        issue 26 -- eerie
 rind - condiments; chapter 818
        issue 15 -- murmur
 ritalin - condiments; chapter 815
        issue 9 -- murmur
 rollerblades are gay
        issue 20 -- murmur
 sage - condiments; chapter 175
        issue 5 -- murmur
 sardines
        issue 20 -- trilobyte
 sasparilla - condiments; chapter 81
        issue 12 -- murmur
 scenes of the common & the ephemere, part one
        issue 6 -- eerie
 scenes of the common & the ephemere, part two
        issue 9 -- eerie
 scurvy -- diseases; chapter 1013
        issue 20 -- mogel
 sensory apparatus buffet
        issue 27 -- mike halchin
 shalla
        issue 17 -- neko
 shine six/eight & the last musty smells
        issue 10 -- eerie
 shiny new car (typical generic love story)
        issue 21 -- zircus
 self-respect
        issue 11 -- girlie17
 sensory stroke
        issue 12 -- morpheus
 sequels to look for in 1998
        issue 26 -- cmw kids
 sick call
        issue 11 -- yohan bawk
 slack motherfuckers
        issue 23 -- murmur
 sliced & diced hooker in a ziplock bag
        issue 9 -- styx
 smother
        issue 21 -- eerie
 sometimes i wonder
        issue 28 -- razorblades & bandaids
 southborough reservoir
        issue 13 -- eerie
 space & the reason tomithy's pudding was on the floor
        issue 14 -- puck
 specification versus exploration in western education
        issue 17 -- yumas
 spinach -- condiments; chapter 133
        issue 19 -- murmur
 spoon & fork, crazy lovin' style
        issue 20 -- trilobyte
 statistics
        issue 5 -- fake scorpion
 straight outta hatboro
        issue 8 -- black francis
 strawberry sorbet
        issue 17 -- mooer
 so hard to be punk
        issue 2 -- eerie
 suck a tomato
        issue 5 -- jook
 sugar - condiments; chapter 1/2
        issue 6 -- murmur
 sunday morning (gas station blues)
        issue 6 -- styx
 super salad
        issue 20 -- murmur
 sweet irony
        issue 4 -- mogel
 syncopation nation
        issue 27 -- bor
 syntax error
        issue 12 -- styx
 syntax error; part 2
        issue 17 -- styx
 tabula rousseau
        issue 23 -- mooer
 take a trip
        issue 18 -- mogel
 talcum powder -- condiments; chapter 732
        issue 20 -- murmur
 tale of events at duhcon
        special 1 -- mogel
 taming the mind; an overview of mental projecting
        issue 19 -- gaurdian
 technology knows no shame, the world i see has gone insane
        issue 4 -- teletype
 tee-fuckin'-hee
        issue 5 -- kojak
 tee-hee!
        issue 28 -- mogel
 TEN EZ STEPZ 2 HAVIN ORAL SEX!!!!!
        issue 20 -- crank
 thanks for your order, rick!
        issue 20 -- rick chen
 that deep, deep lake called life
        issue 15 -- jook
 that peppers shit from steak 'n' shake -- condiments; chapter 55
        issue 22 -- murmur
 the adventures of mbujn & zrplouc
        issue 6 -- eerie
 the amazing story of processed apple strudel
        issue 5 -- neko
 the bigot dance
        issue 15 -- shadow tao
 the chaos theory; friday, july 15
        issue 7 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; monday, july 18
        issue 11 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; saturday, july 16
        issue 8 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; sunday, july 17
        issue 9 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; tuesday, july 19
        issue 12 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; wednesday, july 20
        issue 13 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; thursday, july 21
        issue 21 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; friday, july 22
        issue 22 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; saturday, july 23
        issue 23 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; sunday, july 24
        issue 24 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; monday, july 25
        issue 25 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; tuesday, july 26th
        issue 26 -- eerie
 the chaos theory; wednesday, july 27th
        issue 27 -- eerie
 the christian transformers
        issue 28 -- ashtray heart
 the cliff, marilyn manson, & beer
        issue 23 -- the arts student f.k.a. euan
 the colonoscopy conspiracy (chapter dog)
        issue 24 -- zircus
 the constitution of the eternally depressed and confused
        issue 19 -- neko
 the conversation                                              
        issue 9 -- jamesy
 the crane & the crow
        issue 7 -- shadow tao
 the day the geek snapped
        issue 7 -- creed
 the dto manifesto
        issue 7 -- dto inner circle
 the elephant king
        issue 19 -- puck
 the elf says...
        issue 8 -- creed
 the 4:30 am onslaught
        issue 28 -- jook
 the girlfriend
        issue 11 -- sweeney erect
 the great brain
        issue 25 -- creed
 the hangover
        issue 13 -- eerie
 the harlequin
        issue 15 -- base
 the happy game
        issue 10 -- creed
 the human flaw
        issue 22 -- eerie
 the inconsistencies of the time-space continuum...
        issue 11 -- the masked marauder
 the intricacies of portable toilets
        issue 25 -- d. mcdaniel
 the juice of life
        issue 22 -- oregano
 the lowdown on ease and serenity with a woman at a river
        issue 26 -- d. mcdaniel
 the mix tape
        issue 25 -- esso
 the moose & the beaver
        issue 12 -- murmur
 the most elite bbs in the world
        issue 2 -- murmur
 the most intelligent being on the planet
        issue 19 -- styx
 the museum
        issue 23 -- dan greenwell
 the original evil sugar - condiments; chapter 1000
        issue 10 -- murmur
 the #preschool faq!
        issue 20 -- jamesy
 the question of representive democracy
        issue 1 -- murmur
 the real world
        issue 4 -- eerie
 the rice submissions
        issue 20 -- jamesy
 these jokes are GREAT!
        issue 22 -- puck
 the severed bloody arm of the manatee
        issue 20 -- rattle
 the shadow
        issue 15 -- sweeney erect
 the simmons family saga, continued
        issue 7 -- sweeney erect
 the $10,000 tab
        issue 15 -- yumas
 the uncool kid
        issue 6 -- creed
 the unforgivable sin
        issue 27 -- sweeney erect
 the unwritten works of ashtray heart
        issue 28 -- ashtray heart
 the working class
        issue 1 -- eightball
 thirty seconds at pratt & sheridan
        issue 11 -- kojak
 this is not an exit
        issue 12 -- fake scorpion
 this is where the editorial goes
        issue 6 -- murmur
 thorough situational mindfuck
        issue 22 -- d. mcdaniel
 three things they haven't learned
        issue 17 -- puck
 three swedes take on a wildeyak while eating bologna...
        issue 17 -- nybar
 thumbs-up for doody
        issue 28 -- puck
 timmy
        issue 25 -- meow
 tlorah returns
        special 2 -- mogel
 to be
        issue 12 -- puck
 to forgive & regret
        issue 7 -- styx
 toilet
        issue 3 -- fake scorpion
 tongue of whey -- condiments; chapter 9234
        issue 25 -- murmur
 tonight on tv
        issue 22 -- oregano
 toothpaste shavins -- condiments; chapter 1400
        issue 23 -- murmur
 toys that caress her
        issue 23 -- shroud
 true to life
        issue 16 -- murmur
 2084
        issue 17 -- creed
 umm... go away
        issue 12 -- girlie17
 undecided
        issue 1 -- gumby
 undergarments for the short, round figure
        issue 23 -- goldy the pimp from pamona
 untitled
        issue 13 -- girlie17
 untitled
        issue 23 -- hieronymous breughel
 untitled
        issue 23 -- snufkin
 upward mobility potential
        issue 25 -- styx
 urination
        issue 4 -- y-windoze
 valentine's day greeting
        issue 27 -- pezmonkey
 vampyre
        issue 15 -- murmur
 very indie
        issue 20 -- murmur
 videogames stole my childhood
        issue 9 -- morpheus
 videogames were better in the early to mid-80s, damn it!
        issue 19 -- murmur
 warez da warez?
        issue 6 -- mogel
 we are the sons of no one
        issue 10 -- murmur
 we did your dad
        issue 20 -- morpheus
 we enjoy it
        issue 26 -- sweeney erect
 wet leaves
        issue 24 -- jamesy
 what do you think think of dto?
        issue 4 -- mogel
 when entering studio, [k]nock:  ACT I
        issue 19 -- murmur
 when the bough breaks
        issue 13 -- shadow tao        
 wherefore art thou dummercon?
        issue 13 -- murmur
 where have all my children gone?  a reflection in six movements
        issue 1 -- murmur
 where's that dignity i ordered?
        issue 4 -- mogel
 who is this guy?
        issue 20 -- mercuri
 why i wrote for dto
        issue 20 -- graywolf
 wild jesus
        issue 9 -- dead cheese
 white lumps: big num nums
        issue 9 -- dead cheese
 white lumps: egg's poo
        issue 5 -- dead cheese
 white lumps: someone likes the outdoors a lot!
        issue 10 -- dead cheese
 white lumps: the day the cabbage cried
        issue 6 -- dead cheese
 white noise
        issue 19 -- kaia
 who cares?
        issue 14 -- girlie17
 who the hell cares?
        issue 3 -- mogel
 why everyone should smoke pot
        issue 10 -- styx
 why lollapalooza sucks
        issue 2 -- fake scorpion
 winnie and arnold revisited
        issue 20 -- jamesy
 wish
        issue 11 -- fake scorpion
 worcestershire sauce - condiments; chapter 7
        issue 3 -- murmur
 world wide waste
        issue 2 -- im2k
 xeper and piztok
        issue 23 -- juan cristobal
 xyz, abc, & me
        issue 21 -- mogel
 yeah yeah yeah
        issue 14 -- mogel
 yes, ok
        issue 25 -- mogel
 you can't be too careful these days!
        issue 13 -- trilobyte
 you crazy bastard!
        issue 6 -- mogel
 you're a damned weirdo
        issue 4 -- mogel
 you really need to get a life...
        issue 20 -- styx
 you think it's over now?
        issue 10 -- jamesy
 you've been had!
        issue 14 -- creed
 'zines suck
        issue 4 -- jamesy

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+

 + number of articles written (over 6)
 + this has no regards to quality or size!

        62 -- murmur
        48 -- mogel
        41 -- eerie
        31 -- jamesy
        22 -- shadow tao
        20 -- styx
        17 -- puck
        16 -- sweeney erect
        14 -- fake scorpion
        13 -- creed
        13 -- black francis
        11 -- crank
        11 -- dead cheese
        10 -- jook
        10 -- trilobyte
         7 -- oregano
         6 -- kaia
         6 -- morpheus

 +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+
-eof
