this is a y0lk, by murmur.
it is called "do not fuck with the big and hairy bears"

        they said he was big and hairy but he didn't like that very much so he
ate them.  bears do that sometimes when they get called big and hairy.
        anyway this big and hairy bear he ate them and he was full and he said
drat i am full and he went off because he was full.
        some lumberjacks came and they're like bear ate other lumberjacks.  so
they say i bet he was big and hairy and they run away.
        then some other bears came they wasn't as big and hairy.  they say hmmm
frank ate lumberjacks.  he one big and hairy bear.  they left too.
        then here comes mister fletcher.  he delivers milk.  he says wow frank
the big and hairy bear ate the lumberjacks.  he leaves milk and runs away.
        now i see dick gephardt coming.  he comes and says hi i like taxes and
sees that there is some milk and he drinks it and then he walks away.
        the lumberjacks they come back with shovels.  we get that old bear.  we
get that old big hairy bear with these shovels.  they go look for frank.
        frank comes back.  he is a big hairy bear.  he sees that dick gephardt
drank the milk.  he says drat i am full i eat dick gephardt later.  he goes.
        up to here now jamie farr he comes.  he turns to woodland creature and
says who loves you baby?  he wanted milk but dick gephardt drank it.  he left.
        then now struts the corporal but no one knows who the corporal is.  the
corporal he says hi i am the corporal you do not know me.  he took a leave.
        here come lumberjacks.  they have more shovels.  we will get that bad
big hairy frank now we will say lumberjacks.  one of them has cards.  they go.
        frank he comes back.  he still full.  he wants to take a nap.  i want
to take a nap i am still full.  i will eat dick gephardt later.  he dozes off.
        ozzy osbourne he shows up.  he sees frank snooze and says hi i am not
retired i am ozzy osbourne.  ozzy does not like milk so he leaves okay.
        jamie farr he returns with ox-bow.  he sees frank and says hi dick
gephardt did you drink the milk?  wow dick gephardt is big and hairy.  he goes.
        lumberjacks they is back and they is see frank snooze they say we got
the big and hairy devil now.  they approaches frank slowly so as not to alert.
        frank he is not so tired now and now not so full and sees lumberjacks
and says hi lumberjacks i am not so full.  frank is a big and hairy bear.
        lumberjacks they is frightened but attacks frank with shovels.  sadly,
sadly, shovels is made of wool so they fail and they do get eaten too.
        frank is sad because he is big and hairy and full again and was wanting
to eat dick gephardt but can not do so now because he is big and hairy and full.

        woah it is again the corporal he comes up to frank the big and hairy and

full bear and says hi i am the corporal you do not know me do you have any milk?

        frank, he is a bear.  he is big and hairy too.  he's full.  he says no
corporal whoever you are, dick gephardt drank all the milk.  what shall we do?
        the corporal he is like, i am thirsty, let us get dick gephardt.  let
us, you and me, the corporal and frank the big and hairy and full bear, get him.

        now here comes back jamie farr and he is like, who loves you baby?  hi i

am jamie farr i too want to get dick gephardt.  which way did he go though?
        the corporal he is saying hi jamie farr i am the corporal you do not
know who i am but i am the corporal.  he went to washington i think let us go.
        frank says okay but i am a bear and i am a woodland creature and i can
not go to the big city.  i will stay here if he comes back.  i am big and hairy.

        jamie farr is like, okay, but, like, i do not want to go to washington,
because, well, i am thirsty for milk, is that okay with you corporal?
        the corporal, who they do now know, he is like, well, okay, i guess we
will not go to washington, i will go home, a home you do now know, and he goes.
        jamie farr has little more to say to frank the big and hairy bear so he
says frank, you big and hairy and full bear, i am going too, so he leaves.
        frank who is a bear and who is big and who is hairy but not so full
anymore says boy i wish dick gephardt were here so i could eat him.  he dozes.
        frank wakes up later and he is still a bear.  he is still big and hairy
and not full at all.  he is like, dick gephardt is not coming back.  he leaves.
        rear-sergeant zines arrives.  he is a strapping individual and he likes
to eat celery.  he is powerful but has nothing to do here, so he goes away too.

--(uhm)-----------------------------------------------------------------------

ok, so i don't know exactly where this begins or ends because my scrollback
screws up, but this is my best.  sorry.  murmur rulz.

--(index)-------------------------------------------------------------------

.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $                            title                           $ author  $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat                                       $ creed   $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed   $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.              $ creed   $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin         $ creed   $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food                     $ creed   $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus                                   $ hooch   $
$ 07 $ hail santa!                                                $ creed   $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?             $ hooch   $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock.                                           $ creed   $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam                                        $ bedlam  $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview             $ hooch   $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta]       $ hooch   $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@            $ hooch   $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink                            $ phorce  $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness                                 $ creed   $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina     $ creed   $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you?                            $ hooch   $
$ 18 $ lemmings                                                   $ phorce  $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology                                   $ belial  $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene     $ cd/h0   $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!?                                           $ phorce  $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself                  $ creed   $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale                                     $ phorce  $
$ 24 $ group masturbation                                         $ belial  $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs             $ creed   $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet                               $ phorce  $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause                                         $ belial  $
$ 28 $ the army day camp                                          $ belial  $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day             $ creed   $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings                     $ hooch   $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver!                                 $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur                                      $ bedlam  $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan                            $ creed   $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines                   $ hooch   $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears                                 $ phorce  $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't                           $ creed   $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate           $ creed   $
$ 38 $ snowday                                                    $ phorce  $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d                                               $ creed   $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth                             $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue              $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet                                     $ hooch   $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods!  from yonder cometh y0lk!                $ creed   $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue        $ phorce  $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass!                                  $ creed   $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars                  $ creed   $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers             $ creed   $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed   $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life      $ creed   $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst                                      $ creed   $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave          $ trip    $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet                                             $ creed   $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost                                            $ poots   $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!#                                      $ phorce  $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death               $ creed   $
$ 56 $ dead cats                                                  $ juke    $
$ 57 $ my inner taco                                              $ handle  $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours?                                        $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money               $ lumpy   $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant                       $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road?                        $ insane  $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern                                          $ mutter  $
$ 63 $ ELiTE LiT from the master himself                          $ creed   $
$ 64 $ creed's k-rad lit archives, volume two                     $ creed   $
$ 65 $ UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. $ creed   $
$ 66 $ how y0lk saved my life (sorta)                             $ creed   $
$ 67 $ shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles             $ ideal   $
$ 68 $ some puppet plays                                          $ phorce  $
$ 69 $ "... Hello operator ..."                                   $ mutter  $
$ 70 $ i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding.                  $ traq    $
$ 71 $ battle of the ants                                         $ rage    $
$ 72 $ fun on the phone                                           $ ideal   $
$ 73 $ yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries..$ handle  $ 
$ 74 $ i love you as my own mother                                $ sphrog  $
$ 75 $ jamesy and the giant slinky                                $ jamesy  $
$ 76 $ do not fuck with the big and hairy bears                   $ murmur  $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"

--[infoez]--------------------------------------------------------------------

     if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not.  if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.

phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!  beware!
mindcrime is an official y0lk member, cuz he's just so damn wacky-ass.
heil creed.  <HEIL!#  HEIL!#>

to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk

or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373.  k-rad.

*or*... look for "y0lkb0t" on irc, efnet.  type "@y0lk (number)" for y0lks.

_OR_... ATTENTION y0lkies!#  join the y0lk mailing list!#  chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too!#  email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
"subscribe y0lk" in the body of the message.

don't you feel like you're getting a little too much information here?
couldn't we just show our ftp site and shut up?  it's just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this.  what a bunch of losers we are.




