     s$
        .d""b.                impulse reality press no. 162
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     $$ $$               "An Open Letter to my Ex-English Teacher"
     $$ $$                          written by linear
     $$ $$                          released  12/27/01
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Dear Mr. Keaney,

	Ah, it's been a while, hasn't it? We're both a little older now, and
we've moved on to bigger and better things. Me? I'm in a new English class
(and I must say, I really enjoy this new teacher of mine), finishing up my
Senior year... hell, I've even made plans for college. And you, well, I'm 
sure you're busy mis-informing a whole new batch of students. Unfortuneatly
for them, though, [former student of yours and present friend of mine] Peter 
nor myself are there to correct your mistakes these days.

	Anyway, I suppose I should get to the point. As I'm sure you've heard
by now (as it is all the rage with the administration these days - hell, 
they've even threatened me with lawyers!), Peter and I have made a website
dedicated to you! We hope you enjoy it! Just in case you're not aware, I'll
be kind enough to present you with the URL:

                         http://www.grantkeaney.com

	We went out of our way to point out how terrible of a teacher you 
are. We think we painted a pretty accurate picture, wouldn't you agree? If
you would like to add anything, feel free to contact me, I'd love to hear 
from you these days. Really!

	Okay, I think that about covers it! Hope you're having a good year...
Oh, and in case you forgot the last bit of advice I gave you, it is still 
strongly advise that you go fuck yourself. No, really. I hate you.

                                              Sincerely
                                            Jared Dobias,
                                           Former Student.

PS, I wrote you a Haiku...

         You can't teach worth shit
           My education suffered
            You awful man, you!

Okay, so nevermind the Haiku.

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   the clever thing to do here would be to put some sort of copyright. no.
                         http://www.phonelosers.net/ir
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