
                                    ßÛßÛ   ßÛßÛ ÜÜÜÜ   ßÛ ÜßßÜ
                  ÛßÛ ÛßÛ  ÜßÛßßÛßÜ  Û Û    Û Û  ÛÜß    Û ÜßßÜ
                  Û Û Û Û  Û ÛÄÄÛ Û  Û Û    Û ÛÜßÜ      ß  ßß
                   ßßßÛ Û  ßÜÛÜÜÛÜß ÜÛÜÛÜ  ÜÛÜÛÜ ÜÛÜ
                     ÜÛÜß
                              "lemmings"                               phorce

--% let's get right on down to it. %-----------------------------------------

damn, that's a stupid title, but it was all i could think of.  oh well.. i'll
have to go with it.

--% lemmings %---------------------------------------------------------------

they're great animals, granted, but they're an even greater computer game.
i mean, look at them!  they just parade around, and jump off cliffs!  how
stupid can you get?  they're just great to watch..  those little stupid guys,
running around like idiots..  and i just got the lemmings CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
released in 1992!  this is GREAT!  i'm addicted to it!

--% what about 3-d? %--------------------------------------------------------

yeah, they just realeased that 3-d lemmings CRAP, but it's NOTHING compared
to the good old, 2-d, grainy, ORIGINAL lemmings.  hell, that tinny adlib
music brings back memories.. and even the days BEFORE they had sound at all!
i used to think that those neat sounds that came out of the pc speaker was
COOL!  it was great!  i still own my old sierra games, in the original EGA
baby!  i was first on my block to get an EGA monitor, so, obviously, i never
needed to upgrade until just a YEAR ago!  who needs 80486, get an 8088!

--% wow, back in da day.. <sniff> %------------------------------------------

exactly my point.  back in da day when i used to play gwbasic games all day
and read 3-2-1 contact's "BASIC Training" section.  don't laugh, i know you
did too, and if you didn't, DAMN YOU.  you shouldn't be reading this anyway.

--% pix? %-------------------------------------------------------------------

ever look at one  of those "we're trying to make an ansi look     \\\ ///
like  a newspaper" things?  i always  thought that the little     ÛÛÛ ÛÛÛ
anecdotal pictures  were neat, especially with those captions  \\ ÛßÛÛßÛÛ //
lemmie try one now.. wow, that took me a long time.. especial- ÜßßßßßßßßßßßÜ
ly since i was in dos edit and i don't know my ascii codes by   ßßÜ     Üßß
heart.  mmmm.. i don't think  that looks much like a duck, oh      ßÛßÛß
well, the caption'll have to do. ack.  basically what i'm typ-      Û Û
ing right  now is just filler so that i can surround the li'l   duck in heat

drawing  i've got right here..  isn't  this great, folks?  no
other zine'll give you ready-for-newsprint quality like y0lk does.  it seems
i've surrounded my little drawing.  is it just me,  or does that little duck
look uglier and uglier every time you look at it?  i'm not too good at art..
oh well.  lemmie end this line up and everything will be done.  steaptitude.

--% steaptitude? %-----------------------------------------------------------

yeah, i needed to end the line perfectly, and that was the only word i could
think of.  oh well.

--% rebuttal %---------------------------------------------------------------

i'm 5' 10", and i'm 115 pounds or so. i think that's good.  and i never said
hooch was short - at least not in my last article.

--% chinese art films with subtitles %---------------------------------------

yeah, these things are GREAT.  for the past year or so, i've been mining the
movies for rental at the library for those so-cool chinese art films.  these
things are the shit, man.. they all end depressingly, and they all have a lot
of those yellow subtitles.  i mean, NO WORDS in english.  this isn't good for
me, since i don't speak chinese, but these movies are great.  one movie was
about this peasant woman in mainland china who had a husband that was kicked
in the nuts by the village leader-guy.  she couldn't do anything about it,
but she wanted an apology from the villager leader-guy.  he wouldn't, so she
decides to go to a higher court.  basically, the whole movie is the journey
this woman and her daughter take, trying to find justice for her husband (who
isn't really hurt, except for a bit of pain the first day).  she goes to the
big city, and takes her first ride in a car, and all these people in suits
are all running around her in the city, and she is completely lost.  finally,
she gets to talk to someone about her husband (3/4 of the movie in) and at
the end, the village chief gets sent to jail.  the woman is sad because all
she wanted was an apology, and the village chief was actually a nice guy
after all.  and now that i've told you the movie, go see it.. great stuff,
truly.  it's named something like "the story of cho ju" or something.. i
can't remember.. but all of these chinese films are great.  go see'em.

--% piss like a what? %------------------------------------------------------

what the hell does that mean?  "piss like a racehorse."  i've personally
never been near a racehorse, and this bothers me.  how do racehorses piss
more than other horses?  is the force of their pissing very strong?  do they
piss only once a week?  i don't get it..  someone, explain this to me...
this is a question that has been bothering me for weeks.

--% leprosy %----------------------------------------------------------------

best scene from "robin hood," the friar to azim, disguised as a leper:
                        "is this your finger?"

--% in closing.. %-----------------------------------------------------------

touching the light socket caused my finger to involuntarily shake until i
pulled back my hand, for a grand total of 0.5 seconds.

--% peace out, yo %----------------------------------------------------------

greetz:  all those big zines guys that write better than me.. and mogel, whom
                i don't know, but said "hi" to me when i went into #zines,
                even tho i'm HARDLY on irc, and i've never met him b4... i
                think it might have been someone else or something.. or a
                script that says "hi" to everyone who enters a room.  oh well.

if you read this far, you must've had SOME interest in this.. email me..
please.  i'm desparate, and i'm starting to doubt that ANYONE reads this shit
anyway..

email me at: phorce@aim.novasys.com  - i hope that workz, i need to pay..

--% editor'z notez %---------------------------------------------------------

phorce@aim.novasys.com will not work if you don't pay =)
mail creed@novasys.com if you want to contact y0lk.  hmm, that lemmings game
rools.  i have the christmas special to.  and mogel... HE'S MOGEL!#(%*!#%@!#%
GET A GRIP, MAN!?#%?!#%?!#%?!#(%*!#(*%(!*#%(!*

--% yak, i mean sheep-herder'z notez %---------------------------------------

put an ever-lovin' spoonful of your all-time sheep-herdin' action right here,
baby.  right here.

--% index %------------------------------------------------------------------

index of y0lk issues:

,s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $.                       title                                     `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$' 001 `$ the other white meat                                             `$
$  002  $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$  003  $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.                     $
$  004  $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin                $
$  005  $ household uses for afghanistanian food                            $
$  006  $ pour cement down my anus                                          $
$  007  $ hail santa!                                                       $
$  008  $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties?                    $
$  009  $ lunchables rock.                                                  $
$  010  $ t-shirts and toejam                                               $
$  011  $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview                    $
$  012  $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta]              $
$  013  $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@                   $
$  014  $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink                                   $
$  015  $ y0lk: bedazzled by the eliteness                                  $
$  016  $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina            $
$  017  $ i am a warez pup - who are you?                                   $
$. 018 ,$ lemmings                                                         ,$
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'

issues 1-5, 7, 9, and 15-16 by creed
issues 6, 8, 11-13, and 17 by hooch
issue 10 by bEdlAM
issue 14 and 18 by phorce

note: if you have written an issue, you are a y0lk member, have a y0lk member
      board, etc.  woo.
