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 Addendum                                       Issue# 11 -  4th March 2002 
 URL: http://www.adden.tr.cx/
 Author : Steak, I believe that all beer is crap
============================== Silly beer advert ===========================

I usually keep my lack of patriotism a secret for fear of offending
some people that feel very strongly about this country. But after
the blind assault on my intelligence, views, rights to believe what I want
to believe and least of all my senses that I have just viewed I feel
compelled to write about what I have seen

What I saw was an advert for fosters beer. It had almost bugger all to do
with beer and all to do with stirring up that sense of patriotism that the
the advertising companies feel will make you buy anything, even shit on a
plate.

This is a transcript of the advert:

G'day em,
I don't have a kangaroo for a pet,
I don't wrestle with crocodiles,
and I don't ware a cork hat

I fight wars but never start wars,
I would rather make peace.
I can ware my countries flag with pride,
I am a rock I am the ocean,
I am the island,

My brothers are the smiths, the wilsons
The santarellis, the decostis, the wongs
and the jagamararas.

I play football without a helmet,
I like beetroot on my hamburger.
I ride in the front seat of a taxi.
I believe that it's a prawn not a shrimp.
I believe the world is round and Down under is on top.

I believe Australia is the best address on earth.
and [that] Australians brew the best beer on earth.

First I have a few things to say about the statements the
advertisement made.

"I don't wrestle crocodiles"
Well I agree that they (Australians) don't, it just seems to bring
in channel ten a lot of ratings, so it can't be all that bad eh?

"I fight wars but never start wars"
Let me ask you this, when your mother pulled you in from that brawl
and told you to stop fighting, what did you say, I bet it was
something along the lines of "he started it!" and she would say
that it doesn't matter you were both guilty, well the same applies
here

"I can ware my country’s flag with pride"
like well, every other country, look at the Americans

"I am a rock I am the ocean, I am the island"
I am a human, proud of it you can be a rock if you like =] (sorry
couldn't help that)

"I play football without a helmet"
what are you going to say next? I go motor-biking without a helmet?
that sounds plain stupid to me. Plus in the sport that we they call
football, you don't need a helmet except maybe for you’re under region
to stop somebody's hand accidentally slipping up the ultra short
shell suit shorts

"I ride in the front seat of a taxi"
If you were a taxi driver in New York you'd want to get people to
ride in the back seat as well, preferably behind six inches of
some kind of bullet proof material.

"I believe that it's a prawn not a shrimp"
Whatever you call your food, it really doesn't matter in England we
call a 'truck' a lorry, does that make it something different? it's
still a big freight automobile with huge tires

"I believe the world is round and down under is on top"
Space being the vast infinite mass of nothingness that it is, there
really is no up or down, or for that matter right or left. However if
you are talking about maps, then I'm afraid that any map will tell you
that Australia is placed at the bottom, hence the name "down under"
and as for the world being round, well we kind of knew that already.

"I believe Australia is the best address on earth"
Arrogant self masturbation. simple as that

I also have to add that the add in itself, is a rip off of another
advert that was around sometime ago in the beautiful country called
Canada, I will reproduce the advert here:

I am not a lumberjack or a fur trader.
I do not live in an igloo, 
eat blubber or own a dogsled....
I speak English and French, not American...
I believe in peacekeeping, not policing, 
diversity, not assimilation. 
And that the beaver is a proud and noble animal.... 
A tuque is a hat, and a chesterfield is a couch....
And it is pronounced zed, OK? Not zee, zed. 
Canada is ... the best part of north America. 
My name is Joe and I am Canadian!

It is interesting to note that there is a website that is linked to on
the advert the url of which is http://www.ibelieve.com.au here you can
download a quicktime movie version of the Australian advert, except, of
course if you are in another country (if so you are not allowed to view
the advert, for reasons not stated)

Finally it seems that on the forums, created especially for people to talk about
how great the advert is, if you make a post and it contains the word "Canada
or Canadian" then your post will be refused postage on the message board.

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 Addendum                                       Issue# 11 -  4th March 2002 
 (C) Steak March 2002
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